#I so wish it could get better
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ah, 2025
what a fuckin year.
#I knew this would be hard but I didn’t realise it would be like this#why can’t I just fucking do what I need to do without pussying out#I’m such a fucking coward#how could I have been so foolish to let it get to this#and I’m STILL letting it happen#I so wish it could get better#I so wish HE could get better#but it never will work that way#fuck this shit#I’m so tired#I don’t want to have to leave him#I miss him but he’s asleep next to me while I figure shit out#what the fuck do I do#addiction is a fucking curse but only he can fix it
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website
#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff#but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me#its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university#but some ppl dont even get that chance#maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick#but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw#📼
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#selfie bee#good evening friends!! how are you doing! C:#I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself#I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose#I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years#thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!!#not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*#but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint#he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it#my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago#as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds#he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where#I think tattoos are super cool (´。・v・。`) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo#it was heath ledgers face as the joker#at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years#a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets#can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street?#I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet#he might have special abilities#I hope you're having a good day friends!! C:#I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week#miss you!! ♥♥♥
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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Maybe we never had a chance.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#a-yuan#Ultimately...despite how hard we try to reach people - sometimes it just is not possible.#Sometimes all you can do is wish that things could have been different. You pen a note with all the things you want to say -#and then you let it go. The words stay unsent and unspoken. You just watch the rift between you grow until you're too far away to try again#It is a sad end! It is two people who want to be closer but do not have the right capacity to do anything but shut doors.#Worse yet; it's two people who feel it is not their place to try and impose anything more.#It takes so long to heal from endings like that. You never get enough closure when there is still a faint hope of 'another day'.#It's a false amicability. It's closing a door and telling yourself that at least the windows are unlocked.#WWX will keep up his friendliness as a way to hold LWJ at a distance. LWJ can only try to help so many times.#Speaking of tragedies of trying to help; Let's talk about the addiction metaphors in this episode.#WWX tells LWJ in fairly straightforward terms that he does not *want* do be doing ghost cultivation.#What he wants is to protect people - by any means necessary. If he had another option he would take it.#The path WWX 'chose' is one that is deeply mired in external shame and taboo. He jokes about it but it clearly doesn't feel great.#And I put 'chose' in quotes because just like many who find them selves in bad situations - the choice is an illusion.#He's adamant that this is 'his' choice. That he is in control.#Better to be villainized that endure the terrifying reality that you lack any ability to have choice anymore.#If he had the choice - truly had the choice - he would not be doing this.#You can't help those who don't want to be helped. So of course all LWJ can do is watch from the side. Offer a hand when he can.#This life was a tragedy and the countdown to it all blowing up started a long time ago...
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Belphie is such an interesting kitten, compared to the other two.
baby Grim presented some challenges, because she loved to destroy property (mostly climbing various shelves and mantles and knocking everything she could to the floor), she was mildly aggressive toward Marmaduke the family cat (she felt that at the ripe age of 4 months, she deserved to be king), and she was fairly aloof for a kitten, more into running about than cuddling. in most ways, she was like a tiny mafia boss.
Pangur I instantly soul-bonded with, because she was so sickly and pathetic. and neurotic, too - everything was scary to her, people, places and animals. she’d explore the house and play, but there was always an ‘expecting an eagle to swoop down and grab her’ energy.
now Belphie! he’s a healthy active boy with zero fear, and zero aggression, but (fortunately or unfortunately) someone cranked his Play button to maximum and then broke off the handle. he is either fast asleep, and the cutest kitten on earth, or racing about and flailing and climbing and pouncing. which means that he can’t be let outside the kitten room unsupervised yet, because his baby willpower is only so strong, and he will eventually break and start jumping on Pangur and Grim. so in a way, he’s the healthiest happiest cat I’ve ever had, but he’s also the most complicated, because he still has to spend most of his time jailed in the kitten room.
#I think he’ll be better with time#I already trained him out of jumping on my legs and back and making me bleed#and 6/10 times you can see he’s visibly restraining himself from fucking with the other cats#that used to be 1/10 times so we’re making progress!#but I wish he could be out free all the time 💀#usually when he’s jailed I’ll be in the kitten room with him doing work#but then I get pangur crying at the door bc she is a 12 year old infant
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I just want to keep my job even though I don't know how to make memes. Buy our coffee. We've got holiday gifts for the coffee lover in your life.
Awesome Coffee is different because 1. we source our beans directly from small farmers collectives, 2. it's better and fresher than grocery store coffee, and 3. ALL of our profit goes to fight maternal and child mortality in impoverished communities, whereas almost all other coffee makes rich people richer, which is the dumbest thing that can be done with coffee (or other forms of wealth).
#coffee company#i am an unpaid intern#because otherwise some of our profit would go to me#and I don't need it and shouldn't have it#buy our coffee#so I don't get replaced by someone who knows memeology#god I wish I could make better memes#I see young people memes and I feel so envious#not of their youth which is overrated but of their memetic creativity
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Legend has it if you listen to this soundcheck on repeat it will clear your skin, water your crops, and cure your depression. I hope this heals all of you like it has healed me.
#sleep token#vessel sleep token#vessel#song take me to church#take me to church#hozier#hozier cover#hozier take me to church#okay the caption is cheeky but this is pretty amazing#i wish the audio was better/longer but this was recorded outside a venue on a cellphone#the mp4 is in my google drive#in the rituals folder#it's literally a 30 second video of a wood door#but you can see the videographer get excited and thats kinda cute#because i'd be the same way fam#i wish i knew who actually recorded this so i could give proper credit#but its one of those things that's been passed around like crazy on the down-low#i know the person who *claims* to have recorded it is from ny or nj#so this might be from september 10th this past na rituals tour#i couldn't find this door on google maps#but i also couldn't get around to the back of the building to be 100% certain#i also tried checking union transfer the palladium and rams head live! but had no luck there either#if anyone has any more info on this soundcheck or the unedited video#(you can see and sort of hear it jump at the first “i'll tell you my sins”)#please please please tell me
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found back this thing from 2021
putting the addition directly onto the og post since nobody reblogs the full version:
'about this i feel a few people have misunderstood what i drew it for, my tags didnt help at all for sure and it is just one doodle, but i didnt made it as 'i'm questioning my sexuality and need to know what specific labels i am'. i've been well aware of what my whole deal is for years.
this was a silly doodle i drew as a recreation of all the thoughts and questions i had that went 'what is attraction? what is romance and sexual and platonic and friendship and something else entirely? how and why do we need to define feelings and relationships so much? why do people act the way they do, date the way they do, marry the way they do, live the way they do? how much does your own culture and time influence the way you do those things, the way you think you should act and feel? how much does amatonormativity influence and impact all of us? and why are some people so resistant against the idea of questioning and living out of these norms?' among many others things.
again, i drew years ago. i didnt want to post it because it felt unnecessarily personal and because people are insufferable about queerness.
EDIT: pls for the love of my sanity reblog the full post instead.'
#every now and then i go 'what is attraction and how does it work and do i experience it?' then read/listen to allos and demis and grays'#experience with it all and go 'yeah- huh. i dont- no- huh- is that how people really work? what'#every time i feel like i get it i get so confused with new infos. wish could understand people better.#mightdeletelateeer#EDITEDIT: reblog this version or the full version pls. i cant delete this in a way that matters anymore. i expected only 3 or 5 people to#leave a like and that wouldve been it. it broke containment and its annoying.
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movie night with the yapper himself
[click for better quality, .png version under the cut]
#i like to think that this is why cas retains no pop culture knowledge even when dean does make him watch movies#destiel#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#fanart#digital art#they really are everything to me#i wish i could do them justice but hey i gotta practice to get better so here we are
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I swear I sat down to draw a ship without Gil in it
#if you saw me use this pose before no you didn’t#I like it a lot bro… 😔#I was gonna draw robul cuz they are so married couple cute#but lietpru foiled me again#I tried to finally learn how to render metal I’m pretty happy with it but it could be better :P#different kind of rendering for this one#this man will not let my soul go#get out of my head or start paying rent fucker#digital art#my art#fanart#hetalia#hws prussia#hws lithuania#lietpru#pruliet#aph prussia#aph lithuania#gilbert beilschmidt#tolys laurinaitis#man I wanna draw the Baltic trio next they’re fun#wish me luck on that#you stay away from me gil
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Idk new post bc the last lost traction, no donations in a week. We need 450 for the rest of February, 450 for a deposit, and 950 for March, 50 for the rest of the utilities. We were homeless since Aug 2020 excepting 4 different months whose places fell through for various reasons, have to get rid of the van we were living in because it's falling apart, Collie got FFS December 28th, she's recovering well and maybe could do something with a car if we had a better car, given her ability to drive. I still haven't found much work but I'm still looking. Anything helps.
paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
venmo: nora-esther-rose
venmo: Leah-Esther-Rose
#i wish i could get a loan ? i hate how little my parents have ever helped me. we rely too much on collies mom who can only do so much#we both have various disabilities we still are in the process of understanding.... i hope i get adhd meds soon. :(#we havent been able to afford better anti depressants for over a week now. i hate feeling dependent#i wish it were a prescription.... stupid world. stupid time
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sonic movie monkey paw: knuckles is more popular now than he was prior to 2022 but it's movie knuckles and his character is still misunderstood
#DON'T TAKE THIS AS ME HATING MOVIE KNUCKLES BECAUSE I THINK HE'S CUTE SOMETIMES BUT THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT HIM THAT MAKE ME SO ANGRY#and this is from someone who is like... emotionally attached to boom knuckles and who really liked movie knuckles AT FIRST#but I also am kinda blinded by “any knuckles is good enough knuckles to me” because I like him a lot...#I feel like with movie knuckles they have no idea what to do with him#he got his big intro story and now they don't even know what to do#repetitive jokes with the same lines#idk gahhh wish i could better articulate myself#I don't want it to seem like i HATE movie knuckles because I don't!!#but do I think knuckles needs to be more like movie knuckles? LESS PROBABLY??#the only thing that stands out about movie knuckles I like is that he seems like a total foodie that guy likes to eat lol#but otherwise....... no#god knuckles is so complex.... and interesting and it feels like movie knuckles took one side of knuckles#misunderstood it and ran with it#the difference with him and boom knuckles to me is that everyone in boom is stupid#no one takes boom seriously it's not a serious thing???#movies?? it's way more serious than boom and yet?? knuckles 9/10 times is the “I only know how to hit things and fuck up” joke ??#idk#PLEASE UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY HERE#like hear me out I'll take any knuckles content I can get ALWAYS but grahhhhhhhh don't let this impact him please!!! I really don't like it
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Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
#This took so long to make lol#cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them#I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk#but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :')#sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol#I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then...#but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version#I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version#the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs#cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason#also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had#also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!#which means I can go back to working on my fics now#hopefully lol#also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of#cause I have both versions#the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;)#hobie brown#spider punk#miles morales#spider man#peter b parker#jess drew#miguel o'hara#spider man across the spider verse#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#theatrical version
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In the world I love
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In a different world
#vanitas no carte#vanoé#doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi#play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also#+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one#i have complex feelings about this anime#its pretty damn fucking good#but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to#to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start#not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall#really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start#but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty#my girl deserves better than this asshole#you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk#i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot#very yuriyaoi if you ask me#my art
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A gift horse for @piosplayhouse
#better drawn mdzs#I worked very hard on that horse I think it's worth being sorted into the better drawn gallery.#I've been wanting to draw Verdandi for months now! They have such a cute design!!! Pio's designs in general are so good!#I did look up a bunch of horse references and sadly while I had high ambitions I could not replicate the bug eyes of the front facing horse#I instead encourage you all to take a moment and go look up front facing horse. One day I'll have more horse skill points to do it justice.#Regardless of all that; I want to give a huge shout out to Pio!#Thank you so much for being a voice of fun and absurdism in a fandom space that sometimes takes itself far too seriously.#You're unbelievable passionate and creative and one never knows what they'll get when you make a new text post.#And by the gods are you resilient. It is honestly aspirational to watch how you continue to persevere through the toughest of times.#I am sincerely wishing you all the best for this next year. May it be kind and bring your wonderful bounties.
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