#I should draw her more actually | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

greypetrel · 2 years ago

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"Are you serious? I'm not letting you risk your life." For Aisling and her older sister?

Aaaaaaaah thank you for asking these two! <3

Took the chance to get by the “How come Aisling got to the Conclave”, hope you all don’t mind!

And for all of you reading MonsterFic, maybe it’ll clarify some things or two about these two? ASK ME ABOUT RADHA.

Some musical background if you need. (I never made it far with Outlander, it's too sappy for me, but the soundtrack... Its soundtrack has no reason to slap so hard, ok?)

Tis the prompt list.

Setting sail.

"Are you serious? I'm not letting you risk your life."

When they found Varla and Blarteras dead in the woods, face down in a pool of their own blood, everyone knew things were changing, and rapidly. When a group of ten Templars, still there around their victims attacked them, Aisling knew that things were already too changed to be quiet about it. She fought and she directed the others: luckily the Keeper had sent a more consistent group to look for the missing couple. The two never stood really a chance against the soldiers -they weren’t hunters, they weren’t mages, and they weren’t armed. Who attack a couple of middle aged unarmed elves foraging plants? It was not her first fight, nor the only one she got in that had her life and the clan’s at stake. It was the first, tho, that was unprompted and had people aiming directly at her. Because in the group of hunters, she was the one with a staff, she was the one with magic. She was putting the others into danger because the Templars were aiming at her. And at Pavyn and the Keeper, but still…

They got back to camp, other two hunters were killed and five others wounded badly. She insisted with the Keeper to perform the funerary rites herself. She knew how to, she was trained. It wasn’t but a week before that Deshanna had told her that she planned on retiring and leaving the guide of the clan to her at the next Arlathven. It wasn’t unheard of, and she would have been there to help of course, she just couldn’t handle all the work anymore with the growingly aching joints and reduced movement capability. Aisling was ready. This night, as she chanted prayers to Falon’Din before the four new graves, the Keeper sitting at her right and Pavyn quietly seething at her left joining her in the chorus, she felt unready, unworthy, and trapped.

They packed their things and moved the next morning, running swiftly south-east. Closer to the cities, but no one would have expected them to approach settlements, not now. If there were Templars still on their trail, they would suppose them to try and reach wilder places. She was up in the front scouting, Radha as per usual at her side and keeping her a quiet company. They bonded over needing silence, and going from strangers to friends to sisters, they still could go for hours, sticking together and not saying a word if it wasn’t strictly necessary and gestures, touches and nods weren’t enough. Aisling never felt more grateful for their relationship, now: she had a lot to mull over, but it was still too soon to speak it out loud, and the silent presence of the tall hunter, walking silently beside her in the underbush, was grounding and a blessing. Ydun would have forced words out of her, trying to help. She didn’t want to think of Ydun, blissfully on the trail of the caravan hiding their traces. Ydun would have thought her ideas totally crazy, the way she had found crazy learning some basic Tevene as they were pursued by enslavers. This time, tho, she believed Radha would have thought she was crazy as well. So, she kept her thoughts to herself, grimly happy of finally being able to do so.

The next five days were spent like that, Aisling found some words but never the right ones. Radha looked at her with that look, but beside reminding her that she could tell what she really was thinking, the conversation was kept irrelevant.

They spotted more Templars: some saw the bigger group and decided to leave them alone, others attacked them again. They lost 2 other people, and the episode reminded everyone of some years before, their serrated march north and north, how difficult crossing the Minanter was and how little did it help them. Everyone still remembered all too well how to do what the Keeper asked: no one getting far from the clan on their own, eat what they had in store, hunting parties were to be bigger than usual and only when necessary, guard shifts where reinstalled all too easily. The atmosphere, was grim and gloomy, no one really wanted to speak, there were no songs sung around the fire, and not even Nehnis, usually always with a big smile on his face, could be upkeep about it. Aisling hugged the child tight and promised him everything would have been all right, he just needed to stick close to her mamae, to protect her. He listened to her, very seriously, and thanked his auntie.

They camped near Wycome, and a bigger group than usual was sent exchanging products in the market, with the precise task to gather evey tid-bit of information they could. Radha was sent as well because she may not have been the strongest and swifter hunter in the clan, but she was great at listening and catching rumours in settlements, and reading people. Aisling was told to stay there, and after some complaints, she obeyed.

The next evening, after the group returned with fresh supplies they could not get by in the wilderness, the Keeper called everyone around the fire, and told them to pay attention. She rose up, helped by her son and Second and patting his arm affectionately, and told the clan she thought it was necessary to send someone South.

There was a Conclave to happen in Ferelden, discussing the situation between Mages and Templars. They had lost six people, and Deshanna was determined in not losing one more. A Dalish ear, she said, could give them a real advantage, and a direction to go to be safe. Aisling’s brain caught on fire. She was thinking… less pleasant thoughts, honestly, but this one? This one could well fit… And if-

“Radha, I would ask you to go, if you would be willing.”

A stop.

Her mind was put to a stop: she expected Deshanna to ask for volounteers. Not to- Radha was her daughter and-

She saw Radha raising up, unsurprised. She wasn’t overly expressive, not if she didn’t want to, but Aisling knew her like the back of her hand. They grew up together and she knew what to look for.

No.

Oh no no. Not her.

Radha took breath to speak, and she rose up.

“Excuse me, Keeper.”

She never got against the Keeper’s decision. Never, never once, not even when she named her First and she knew Pavyn would have gotten angry, she couldn’t say no. Because a little part of her, yet today, was still convinced that if she told no, she would have been left behind again. Passed to another clan like an old boot. The idea of having her sister, the one that always got her back, always was there for her, didn’t defend her own blood brother when he stopped speaking to her… No.

“Maybe it would be better if a Mage would go South.”

“Aisling-”

“It would only be beneficial to send me.” She rose up, stepping forward, closer to the fire, mother and sister. Thinking about it, she didn’t think she ever called her mother. “Mages are the most involved by the cause, I could provide a better point of view. Take advantage of my position as First, it would signify something for the humans as well…”

The two women in front of her exchanged a look between them that was as fleeting as speaking to her. They had already discussed about it, then. Well, if that was it… Aisling turned around, speaking to the whole clan, now. If she was to win this, it would have been by wide consensus.

“Radha is plenty capable and would give us all the best intel… But if they’re speaking about the situation and finding solutions, maybe the way we seek is not spying, but diplomacy. I would be glad to go and talk to them, express our point of views. Ferelden has been more open to the Dalish, since the Hero of Ferelden took her place in their Court, so maybe they’ll listen to a Dalish ambassador. Why limiting to listen when we could talk, and make ourself heard?”

People began to murmur, she crossed eyes with Ydun, and she was glaring daggers at her. But Pavyn was close to her, and she found him not disapproving, as she thought, but interested, looking at her with keen eyes and a raised eyebrow. It was… Strange, in the most positive way. He hasn’t been interested in her in years. It just spurred her on.

“A Mage would pose a better point of view. A Mage, external to any Circles, and still in control, could provide an intel that they could use. A Mage would understand the implications better.” She turned to the Keeper and Radha, now. Radha who looked livid, angry as she rarely saw her. “Send me, Keeper. I’m ready, you trained me well.

“A Mage amongst Templars? It’s foolish!” Radha blurted out, stepping forward to face her from up close.

“It is not! Other mages will be there, if anyone will touch me, a Dalish, without a cause, it will just further our cause! We will never be heard if we don’t speak up first.”

“Speaking up has gotten us living as nomad!”

“And what have we done to change it?”

“That’s enough!” Deshanna interrupted them, raising her voice to be heard by everyone.

All the murmuring stopped abruptly, and the two girls turned to look at their mother, bowing their head in respect. Looking sideway, Aisling could see that Radha’s fist was contracted against her thigh.

“I heard your argument, Aisling, I will think about it, speak with the Hahrens and communicate my decision briefly. If you two have to quarrel, do so outside the circle, please.”

They both bowed their head, and then Radha took her by the arm and snatched her away, out of everyones eyes between two aravels at the border of camp.

“Are you fucking nuts, Shrimp?”

“I am not! I’m not letting you go there.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know! I can too. But Templars aren’t targeting you.”

“So doing the trip on your own is the solution? You’d be alone, Ash!”

“I can take care of myself too.”

“You’re not thinking straight.”

“No, I actually am. I am taking a bull’s eye away from the clan. With one Mage less, you’ll all be able to be more discreet, pass under the radar. Pavyn is subtler in his magic, he can protect himself and you all attracting less attention than me.” Lighting, as precise and effective as it was, was all but subtle and discreet. Her creation magic was decent enough, but not as much as to pose a real threat in combat, and slowed her down considerably.

“Are you serious?! I’m not letting you risk your life like that! The clan needs you!” Radha kept on, squinting her eyes and glaring at her. She was serious, overly so.

“I’m doing because they do! I could do something substantial… I can do this, Radha, I can! And you know it!”

She shook her head, the crease between her eyebrows deepening. Aisling has seen her angry, sad, in all kinds of emotions. Usually collected, it was honestly the first time she saw her so upset. The older elf stepped forward, closing both hands on her shoulders and shaking her slightly.

“They’re going to kill you.”

“No, they won’t. I’ll be careful on the road, you know I can do this.”

Another vigorous shake of her head, and Radha circled her shoulders, clutching her tight against herself. Aisling hugged her back, automatically, turning her head just so that she could inhale the faint scent of olive oil she used to keep her curls shiny and soft. She would have missed Radha, a lot, but she wasn’t going to let her go on her own. Not for her sake.

“The clan needs you, Ra.”

She scoffed, shaking her head.

“It does. You would have been a better First than me. You can hunt, you’re irreplaceable when dealing with humans… Pavyn has always been better than me, socially. It will be fine, you’ll see.”

She kept on, rubbing circles over her sister’s back and holding her as she mulled things over in her head and collected words. Some tears rose up to her eyes, and for a minute she doubted her resolution, hating to see Radha, sure of herself, collected, always poised and elegant and wise Radha, crumbling so against her. And yet, the feeling just spurred her on. They lost 6 people already, and Aisling felt every one of them weighing on her. She couldn’t bear to know Radha was out and about in a dangerous mission when it should have been her.

“You’ve been my sister since the very start, you cared for me and loved me since the day I arrived. I may not have shown you as I should, but I’m deeply grateful for it. You’ve always cared so much for me, and… And it’s my turn, asa’ma’lin. I wouldn’t forgive myself if you went in my place.” She told her, matter-of-fact. Radha’s hug became tighter and a little uncomfortable -she was stronger and taller than her, but that she didn’t say. She kept on talking. She had to tell her everything, if one of them had to go. “I can do this. You taught me well, the Keeper taught me well. I’m ready, I’m not a scared fawn. I can hold my own and I can make my voice heard. I’ll be back before you know it. I’m not a scared fawn. Not anymore.”

It wasn’t really true. She was afraid -what a fool wouldn’t be? She was never really alone for more than hours in her life. But, Ydun had told her, in non-friendly terms, that she was too scared to be on her own in the clan, and that someone had to take care of her. That she was just dead weight.

“I need to do this, Radha. For you all and for me as well. Please. It won’t be your fault, I’m not running. I feel like dead weight for real and…”

“You are not dead weight. You are my little sister, and Pavyn’s, not a dead weight. You never were. Our mother would tell you too.”

“I know…”

“Don’t.”

“I need to.”

They stayed there for long, sitting down on the grass and resting their backs against a wheel, just hugging without really saying anything. Aisling cried, cried a lot. She actually cried for the both of them. Radha was never a crier.

When they got back, the Keeper asked them what they decided, with a grave tone. Aisling knew years weighed on her, in the way she couldn’t move well without her joints aching -she always went ahead with the scouts in her place, to alleviate some pain, and wrote most things for her, for the same reason. But she never sounded tired. She did, right now. Aisling’s heart clutched painfully, but she kept her back straight, squeezed Radha’s fingers in hers tight, and told that they agreed.

Popular consensus chose her too.

Pavyn just told her she was completely, absolutely nuts and she was stupid and he would have laughed at her when a dog would have eaten her alive, or a horse trampled her. He hugged her, tho very, very briefly, as he reminded her that she was so stupid and he hated her. She knew it wasn’t true, and it made her cry again. It was more than ten years since they stopped being friendly, and she missed him dearly. She wanted to run back after him and jump high and hang from his shoulders, the way she had done hundred of times as a child but… But maybe in time, maybe when she would have gotten back. They could rebuild.

She felt Ydun’s eyes burning on her neck, and when she turned her head, she found her there, furious and with that harsh line to her lips that communicated that her anger was covering for fear, deep down.

She smiled at her, as dignified and sure as she could, softening a little. She was sorry for how things ended between them, and with all her flaws, she knew she had loved her. Loved her still, judging from her face, maybe a little. But, she wasn’t saying yes and complying anymore, apparently. And Ghilan’nain had given her another path. Ydun would always have been close to her heart -how could she no, after 10 years? Difficult as they were- even if she was bitter and angry. But, she was, indeed, still bitter and angry at her, because it’s been 10 years. And six months of being separated and forcefully in close contact. Ydun was not her problem anymore. Ydun wasn’t right about her, she never were.

And in a week, she would have boarded on a ship and sailed south. And maybe by the time she would be back, she would have even believed her own words.

Radha brought her at the pier, and was the last one to let her go, hugging her tight again.

“You get back, understand?”

“I promise.”

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age fic #dalish inquisitor #clan lavellan #writing petrel #aisling lavellan #radha lavellan #I'm always happy to talk about her #I should draw her more actually

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