#I should be allowed to write what i fucking want to write
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So, I read the response above which is so interesting, and I want to keep thinking about it, and then after that had these interesting tags in my feed from @bloodyentrails...
#i think that sam being compassionate towards certain people is kinda normal we tend to relate on a personal level#and him being queer-coded etc doesn't mean you have to care about him#just that that is a thing?#idk what kind of discourse i'm wandering into a lot of the time but relating to characters#and understanding they have been written in a certain way isn't the same thing#which is to say that i would love it if the writing had tackled that inconsistency#but i find that the show on the whole is inconsistent#and i think it's hard to maintain consistency over so many years with so many people working on it#i do think both of them are *trying* to be good people and they sometimes fail and also what constitutes a good person is kinda open#anyway#bear in mind i'm still only halfway through so#maybe i'll change my mind on all this#spn
It's a point worth considering that in the world of the show, Sam's sympathy for monsters seems principled and some how defies gravity, but that in the real world it wouldn't translate to anything real; that's likely true, and an interesting point. Having said that, I think Sam is pretty clearly not particularly"real world" compassionate, and I don't need monsters to make the argument that Sam is not the compassionate one because he shows a general lack of empathy towards PEOPLE, including but by no means limited to Dean, throughout the show. And, ok, he sometimes argues for a compassionate response to monsters and Dean doesn't always respond favourably, but that's because Sam fears he is one, and he needs to believe monsters are not all bad, which is not borne out of compassion, it's a rationalization that serves his psychological needs.
Basically, I think Sam is all surface. Sam is the urbane one, the smart one, the compassionate one, the one who talks nice to people, the broadly queer-coded one, the feminist, etc., but with Sam, all that is skin deep. He APPEARS as such! He's good at pretending, but he's nearly as savage as John is, Dean is much more sensitive to other people's needs, Dean is every bit as clever as he is, and intuitive to boot, Sam can ACT compassionate, but in fact he isn't really very empathetic to anyone, and he is able to just move on from all the things Dean just can't, Sam's not in fact queer, but Dean is queered to his fucking bones, and Sam's the one whose unconsciously replicated misogyny allows him to think any woman that would be into Dean is obviously a whore, and to keep his girlfriend in the dark about the truth of his life, while Dean is just talking a big game of cartoon misogyny TO SAM while treating the women he interacts with pretty fucking respectfully, actually.
Honestly, it's the same as the way Sam is supposedly the 'main character'. He's introduced as the one we should care about and identify with, but within, like, two episodes, he's really just a foil for Dean. Sam has BIG PLOTS, but it's Dean's feelings, reactions and relationships we really care about.
And, the fact is, Sam was pretty well-realized in the earlier eps. JarPad was giving it some effort, and he was charming then with his boyishness -- the way he seemed like he hadn't fully lived into his physical real estate -- but the thing is, he never could really hold a candle to Dean who was just magnetic. All the interesting character development was given to Dean and Jensen killed it by always making it seem like Dean had so much going on under the surface, and like, to the extent I care about Sam, it's because Dean loves him.
I kind of wonder what happened. Was Dean always meant to be the dark horse hero? Or was Dean just...played by a better, more compelling actor, and they started writing for him instead? There are so many much more interesting things they could have done with Sam, and they just...DIDN'T.
I dunno, I suppose it could just be me, but I feel like the way Sam just SEEMS, Dean IS.
maybe this is me being a dumb overly literal autist stemlord who simply does not understand literary theory or some shit equivalent but why should i care about someone being coded as [X] when i can just. care about someone who is [X]. why should i care more about the conventionally attractive white woman with a job and mortgage because she's metaphorically othered due to being a supernatural creature when i could care about the actually othered addicts that she used as a source of food. help me out here.
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random lost boys headcanons that i constantly think about!!
pairing(s): none!
warning(s): mentions of weed, religion, paul being a dirty little shit when it comes down to magazines
(hereās some random headcanons no one asked for but i literally think about these all the time and canāt get them out of my head. and yes, i know some bands and music artists mentioned in this were in their prime after the lost boys was set. but fuck it thereās no need to put dates on things when itās all just for the sake of fictional writing. ALSO BONUS POINTS TO ANYONE WHO GETS THE OG BRANDON ROGERS REFERENCE IN THIS)
gifs not mine!! (if you know the original owner please tag them!!)
DAVID
ā¢ This man smokes like ten packs of cigarettes per day.
Think of a mukbang video but instead itās just David smoking a shit ton of cigarettes packs.
Max has came to the conclusion that if David were not a vampire, he would in fact be a cancer patient.
ā¢ Him bullying someone is just his poor attempts at flirting.
ā¢ Makes multiple attempts at destroying Christmas decorations in every store he goes to during winter. When an employee looks in his direction upon hearing the crashing sound of tree baubles, he stares at them with that icy glare, looking personally offended that the employee is giving him the āDid you just do that..ā look.
Heās a dumb shit that couldnāt care less what anyone else sees him doing. The employee could literally catch him smacking a glittery bauble off their mini Christmas tree with the back of his hand and heāll glance over at them, blinking repeatedly.
āIt was an accident.ā
Heāll even turn to his mind control, allowing the employee to believe it was either Paul or Marko. It usually ends up being Marko, and heās standing there biting the cuff of his jacket whilst getting the shittiest lecture from the store manager. Turns out poor Marko actually loves the placeās Christmas decorations.. despite being a bloodsucker that should resent anything to do with Christ. He just likes sparkly things.. ā¹ļø
ā¢ David is so blunt to anyone who calls him self centred. He aināt phased in the slightest bit by it. Markoās said it on multiple occasions after an argument broke out between them all in the cave, and everyone was throwing digs. But the boys know Davidās the most brutally honest being theyāve ever encountered.
āWho else am I supposed to be centred on?ā
ā¢ Heās always dreamed of owning a black cat named Salem, but he knows the cat either wonāt take to him being a vampire or the boys might accidentally forget itās around and do something stupid.
(He really just wants one to sit on his lap whilst heās in his wheelchair acting like Don fucking Corleone)
ā¢ Went through an identity crisis and forced himself to try and look like Billy Idol for a week. (That week turned into years)
ā¢ Dwayneās still trying to convince him that bleaching his hair was a bad decision after a clump of it FELL OUT.
ā¢ If thereās ever a child crying on the boardwalk, Davidās usually the reason theyāre crying.
PAUL
ā¢ Is always the āCāmon everybody!!ā person at the function. Yet when he runs off excitedly, no one follows.
ā¢ Never knows what to do in a chaotic situation because heās that used to BEING the chaos.
ā¢ Cannot sit still for shit. He has to be fiddling with something or bouncing around the place like the madman he is.
ā¢ Paulās a ride or die Mƶtley CrĆ¼e fan. Heās even lured some chicks on the boardwalk by playing Mƶtley on his boombox for them, feeding afterwards of course. (Heās the sneakiest little shit youāll ever meet)
If he ever met a girl whom he fell for and eventually turned, his ideal date idea would be going on his motorcycle in the moonlit night and blasting āKickstart My Heartā with his new partner riding along with him. Heās dreamt of it for years.
(Markoās bound to third wheel though duh)
ā¢ Heās also got a thing for Alice In Chains, and heās spent many drunk nights screaming the lyrics to āBleed The Freakā outside the cave whilst meanwhile inside the boys sit in silence and are forced to listen to him.
ā¢ Paul barely sees girls with lip piercings but when he does holy fuck.
Just any kind of person who can pull off facial piercings is magical to him. Whether it be a few or a lot, heās mesmerised by whatever kind of metal is in your face.
ā¢ Says āPspsps..ā to every kitty he sees on the boardwalk then screams the biggest āFUCK YOU!ā if he witnesses the cat either pad over to someone else or look at him and run away.
ā¢ Heās always got a fucking rootbeer in his hand when heās in the cave with the boys. Aside from blood, him and Marko live off of rootbeer. Ice. Cold. Rootbeer.
ā¢ Cherry Pie by Warrant is this manās national anthem.
ā¢ Continuously has to find new weed dealers because if he has a bad argument with one of the boys, theyāll purposely hunt down his current dealer and drain every drop of blood from their body. This causes Paul to go apeshit because when heās not out looking for prey or pissing people off on the boardwalk, you can bet his ass is in the cave stoned.
ā¢ On the topic of his severe weed habit, heās not much of an edibles guy. Heād rather be sat on his ass smoking the fattest joint of his immortal existence and enjoying every minute of it. Heās occasionally gotten edibles for Marko, but Marko and gummies do not mix after the Frog Brothers started creeping around again.
ā¢ Has the biggest Playboy magazine stash that he hides underneath a pile of old denim and leather jackets in the cave. No one apart from Marko knows about them. Plus theyāve always been for.. special.. occasions..
Marko canāt help himself though and starts singing āIn The Heat Of The Nightā by Sandra when anyone innocently mentions magazines around Paul. This causes Paul to send his boot into Markoās stomach whenever the boys are all assing around on the bridge, and heās the first to fall.
āā¦.. Iām telling David about your WET DREAMSSSSS.ā Marko usually screams before disappearing into the fog below.
ā¢ Him and Marko donāt celebrate holidays unless itās Halloween or Easter. They donāt give a fuck about the religious part when it comes down to Easter though. And if they wanted to, they couldnāt. Theyāre just there for the chocolate. They miss the taste of it. Paul will literally start fighting children during an Easter egg hunt on the boardwalk so he can get more for himself and Laddie.
(God help the children who push Laddie out of the way)
MARKO
ā¢ Goes into Claireās Accessories and proceeds to tell the child whoās about to get their ears pierced how bad it should hurt.
(Also steals drip for himself because hello yes he does indeed fw a Sanrio earring set)
ā¢ Heās always the one whoāll make the most guttural moaning sounds if youāre on the phone to someone.
ā¢ Him and Paul are always found in the naughty section of Maxās video store.
ā¢ Whenever a fight breaks out on the boardwalk (that isnāt started by David or Paul for once) he doesnāt know what the fuck to do so he just starts screaming.
ā¢ Whenever one of the boys is hurt or sick (yes vampires get sick), Markoās always the one who tends to them. Heās a massive over-thinker. David came down with something one time, and it was bad. Real bad. It was extremely rare, but it hit David like a freight train. Marko thought he walked in and found him in a state where heād never wake up, so Max and the boys were left to deal with him bawling for the rest of the evening. Even David was confused when he awoke from his slumber.
ā¢ He has a bat plushie named Boris that Paul stole for him years ago. He gets caught chewing on the wings a lot but all in all he loves his Boris.
ā¢ Paul once traveled to LA and took him to one of those haunted house events for Halloween. They got kicked out and almost left their motorcycles because Marko starting punching multiple actors. It ended up in this big ass arguement because Paul swore for a moment he saw a glimpse of Markoās fangs in the light and his eyes momentarily changed.
ā¢ The pigeons that flap around in the cave are like his pets. Heās down for just chilling with them and petting them if they let him.
Marko lowkey loves animals.
ā¢ He likes embracing his golden, curly locks. Aside from his fashion sense, he thinks his curls are really what gives him his image. He isnāt vain, but he does truly adore his little curls.
ā¢ Marko has such a soft spot for trad goths and their way of dressing. Whenever he sees one on the boardwalk, (which he hopes he will), heās always fascinated by whatever outfit they have on. If they walk past him and the boys, he offers a shy smile. He wishes he could go start a conversation with them, but he thinks itād be pretty dumb considering what his.. needs are. He doesnāt wanna kill people he thinks are cool.
DWAYNE
ā¢ Has the og resting bitch face.
ā¢ He wishes he could just stay silent and wonders why itās not enough to just show up somewhere and have giant eyes.
ā¢ Dwayne used to get so many random people come up to him on the boardwalk and tell him how good heād suit a black or brown eyeliner.
Since that day Dwayne has never forgotten those people and he always wears eyeliner inside and outside the cave.
ā¢ Major black coffee addict despite not even needing it.
ā¢ Whenever the likes of Paul and Marko actually try to engage in activities whilst on the boardwalk, some female will waltz up to Dwayne. Their approach and characteristics through their energy will allow him to of course decide what his next move is, but if itās some yappy person who clearly has a horrible energy, Dwayne can be just as blunt as David is.
āHow can I get to know you?ā
ā¦
āI donāt want to be known.ā
And then heāll walk away.
ā¢ This man is dedicated to leopard print. DEDICATED. In his mind him and the boys are living in some lavish mansion in 70s LA with leopard print plush sofas, leopard print pillows, leopard print bed sheets, literally everything leopard print.
If he had free rein to design the places he wanted to, heād be ecstatic. (Literally all he wants is to turn Maxās house into a leopard print and cherry red museum.)
ā¢ When Dwayne actually smiles around people, itās the sort of smile that can heal a thousand wounds. Like him coming out of his shell is the sweetest thing to witness.
ā¢ If the boys are off irritating the fuck out of people on the boardwalk instead of trying to find a good feed, Dwayne will occasionally sneak away and visit any sort of music store he can find. He could sit and yap to the people in there for days, and thatās really where he feels the most comfy around strangers. He loves talking to others about bands and artists like Judas Priest, Type O Negative, Rob Zombie, Pantera, Sisters of Mercy, Monster Magnet and Rammstein.
ā¢ The film The Crow ended up having a really special place in Dwayneās heart. He loves playing little bits and pieces on his guitar for Laddie from Graeme Revellās music from the soundtrack.
HII! if you have any lost boys requests send them in!! as you can tell, i really enjoy writing for all of them!! (iāll write for honestly any lost boys character atp) <33
#the lost boys#the lost boys 1987#the lost boys headcanons#david the lost boys#paul the lost boys#marko the lost boys#dwayne the lost boys#kiefer sutherland#brooke mccarter#alex winter#billy wirth#headcanons#character headcanons#hcs#horror headcanons#writing#ghastlyfilters
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you write "enemies to ____" SO WELL. and i've had an AU daydream stuck in my head for a month that is violet as a second year scribe pulled into the revolution bullshit first because jessinia and liam started banging, but mostly because of the suspicion of it all
Oh thank you!! Thatās such a fun daydream. Unfortunately, I donāt actually ship Liam and Jesinia, so a full fic with them in it would kick my ass, but you should try your hand at it!!!
Have this drabble as inspo (620 ish words, canon compliant, set during IF part one except Xaden is there because I wanted him to be):
āItās second year rider business, Jes. Iām sorry.ā
Violet peeks her head around the archiveās shelving unit just long enough to watch Liamās fingers move, then settle. She should retreat back to safety. She should prioritize not getting caught. But she needs to know what Jes says back.
āLast time you had āsecond year rider business,āā Jesinia retorts, hands moving so sharply, they recruit her arms and chest for emphasis, āyou came back bloodied and bruised.ā
Violet can just make out Liamās sad smile over the top of Jesiniaās head. The sight of itāthat private sweetnessāis almost enough to make Violet want to hide back in the stacks. Instead, she settles for pulling her hood higher over her head. If Liam happens to look her way, he might not recognize her if her hair is tucked under the cream fabric.
āA different type of second year rider business,ā Liam admits. Somehow, his body language conveys his guilt without any of the usual signifiers. His hands are heavier, his motions softer.
Violet needs to know what it means.
The worst part is, Violet actually likes Liam. He doesnāt have that typical aura of rider arrogance, and heās so good to Jesinia. If only he wasnāt a liar. Then, heād be perfect.
Violet fiddles with her hood once more, covering as much of her head as she can. She steps backward, meaning to hide herself behind the shelf once more. Sheāll come face to face with her books, and sheāll find one to inconspicuously pull off the shelf. When Jesinia returns from her boyfriend, sheāll be none the wiser to Violetās scheming, just as it should be.
But, as she spins to face the shelves, there are no books in her line of sight. Instead, her vision is filled with darkness, a black shirt on a broad black chest.
She tries to swallow down her gasp, but sheās too slow. He hears it, and he smirks, relishing her surprise.
āEavesdropping, Violence?ā
āDeserting your post, Riorson?ā
His smirk stretches even further across his face at her accusation. Her hate for him flickers in her chest, a twin flame to her annoyance, her invigoration. āWouldnāt dream of it. Iām here on dragon business.ā
She crosses her arms. He is not in her archives on dragon business.
āRiders arenāt allowed this far back,ā she counters, eyes narrowed on him.
He merely cocks his head. He enjoys her scrutiny, too. āMairiās back here.ā
āYes, well, we like Liam. He gets special privileges.ā
He doesnāt, actually. Jesiniaās completely fucked if any of the other scribes catch on to her study-dates. Of course, Jesiniaās completely fucked in plenty of areas. If her boyfriendās schemes involve Xaden Riorson, traitorās sonā¦
Violet canāt think about that when the man is right before her. Itās dangerous. She intuits that much from the sight of the swords on his back.
He plasters a hand on his chest. āYou donāt like me, Violence? Iām hurt.ā
Sheās not sure why his teasing gets her, but it does. She rises onto her toes and slams a finger into his muscled chest.
āI know youāre up to something,ā she hisses, āand I am going to find out what.ā
His eyes take her in, appraising her in her scribe robes.
āIām sure you will, Violence.ā He steps back, out from under her finger, and nods at someone over her shoulder. Violet spins to find Liam and Jesinia, watching the show. Her cheeks flush pink. Sheād rather look at Riorson, so she spins right back around. Heās still smirking at her, bastard that he is. She hears the smirk in his voice as he adds, āBe sure to let me know when you do.ā
She watches him leave, Liam at his side. She is going to figure him out.
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Patreon removed a story of mine as a character in it suffered from SA instigated by her father.
Now, Patreon can do whatever it wants, that's their platform. But they specifically asked me to remove that part of the story if I wanted it to stay up.
I'm pissed, not because "oh no, I can't make money on it," no. Nobody was reading SPURRED, it wasn't an active project, and I'm not currently making money on ANY of my projects anyway. I don't care about that.
What I'm pissed about is how this might affect my future works if I ever do begin making a living from my work through Patreon. I'm not going to just change my characters stories because they deal with uncomfortable topics like SA. I'm an SA survivor, I write characters who are SA survivors. I'm not going to censor myself or my projects because a corporation says I need to if I want to benefit from their platform.
So, I don't really know what to do now. Pieces of Him is also going to deal with SA. I can't even consider putting it on Patreon now knowing I'm going to get a notice that I need to change pivotal moments of a character's backstory for the sake of a corporation wanting to maintain a squeaky clean image.
And before anyone asks, no, the story did not explicitly detail the SA itself. Insinuation was as far as I went. I wanted the reader to feel uncomfortable without feeling offended. I wanted the reader to feel uncomfortable because it's an uncomfortable fucking topic and it shouldn't be skirted around. If someone didn't like it they didn't need to read it.
I'm so sick of how censored the internet is getting. It's NOT for the sake of protecting SA survivors who may be triggered by certain details of a story. This is about making the internet nice and clean and proper for advertisers and investors. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's about money and it always will be.
If it were about protecting survivors, then they would acknowledge that engaging with media that explicitly deals with those subjects and characters overcoming the trauma surrounding SA can be cathartic for survivors if they choose to do so.
Again if you are uncomfortable with something then do. not. read. it. There is a detailed warning at the beginning of the story. It is the responsibility of the reader to gauge what they're okay with and not okay with. Not mine.
I just wanna take a moment to thank platforms like AO3, our literal final bastion for freedom of speech and creativity. SPURRED isn't a fan project so it doesn't really belong on AO3 but I'm thankful that we have one place on the internet where I know my work is never going to be removed or requested to be changed for any reason whatsoever. It's the one place where I can write without the anxiety of a corporate overlord looking over my shoulder and saying "Nope! Don't like this! Change it!"
Rant over, to sum it up, fuck censorship and, does anyone know of any good Patreon alternatives? I definitely can't use them for future projects knowing what I know now. It's only a matter of time before a guidelines update gets Pieces of Him axed for "Promoting Homosexuality and Infidelity" as well as Paul's past as an SA survivor.
#ao3#archive of our own#censorship#fuck censorship#fuck patreon#i will not shut up about this#fuck corporate america#fuck corporations#suck my fucking dick#i love ao3#I should be allowed to write what i fucking want to write
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that fucking flower i hate
#writing chara is hard and im probably not great at it#im also still never sure of if i should draw flowey crying#im not sure if he expresses that way#anyway whatever#also if it wasnt clear the first one is a joke#if i want i will draw flowey replacing all that trash back down on the floor to cancel it out#anyway#thinking about flowey DOES fuck me up still#you accidentally kill yourself and take your best friend in the world with you#and its your fault. you disobeyed their judgement. it would have been so easy#but you aren't allowed to just die about it#instead your forced to live out the rest of your infinite life in the form of the thing they loved most#every day a reminder of what you did#anyway sorry#dami's art#undertale#utdr#undertale fanart#flowey#flowey the flower#chara dreemurr#chara undertale#asriel#asriel dreemurr
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms šļøšļøšIām all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like thatā oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4ā5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2
#marzi speaks#thinking abt the themes in that story#ESPECIALLY the letting other peopleās perceptions dictate who you are vs choosing who you are for yourself and not letting anyone stop you#like almost every single one of the sdr2 cast has a front they put on/identity theyāre āsupposedā to be vs who they truly are#komaedaās i could write an essay on so weāre gonna skip him bc. energy#hajimeās is obvious. i donāt need to explain that one. though he tries really hard to come off as more masculine as well which. augh#speaking of masculine souda is a victim of toxic masculinity. he was bullied and had a dad who sucked so he changed himself to look fiercer#ibuki left her band due to ācreative differencesā- she didnāt fit into that classic pop band mold and she allowed herself to deviate#mahiru puts extra pressure on men around her bc Her Dad Also Sucked and sheās sick of having to deal with weaponized incompetence#gundham is this sweet kind kind boy who hides it all underneath a veil of darkness. the darkness is not a lie either though he is both#sonia. literally a princess. has huge shoes to fill. in reality sheās a horror fiend who just wants to nerd out abt true crime#nekomaruās heart condition would have taken him out of sports forever but he found another way and started team managing instead#fuyuhiko is set up to be the next head of the kuzuryu clan but on the inside he is so compassionate (and canonically a prude lmao)#peko is literally raised as a tool and tries to embrace this role even though the one she works for just wants her to be herself#i havenāt seen hiyokoās ftes but i imagine sheād be far less cruel if she didnāt have to deal with constant infantilization and perverts#twogami just. as a whole. the whole character. yeah#thereās for sure more but i havenāt seen everyoneās ftes so. yanno#like fuck !!!!!! people will always have a perception of what they think you should be but you cannot truly be happy#until you allow yourself to disregard those expectations and forge your own path instead !!!! fuck !!!!!
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"When you guys are playing and, like, we all got podcasts and there are big podcasts out there, you know, are going from series to series, and they're critiquing teams and what notālike, at the end, do you know who's chirping you? Do you pay attention to that shit? Do you know who's on your side? Do you know who's, you know, rooting against you? Do you guys pay attention to that kind-of stuff? I'm just curious." "Yeah, I think this might be the first podcast I've ever doneāI'm not the biggest fan of podcasts to be honest. I thinkāI'm friends with that, you know, [Shane] O'Brien, and [Scottie] Upshall (2 out of the 3 cohosts of the Missin' Curfew podcast), I love those guys... so if they ask I would do it but... again they, I thinkāI think negativity flows through media so much that it just kind-of disgusts me and I want nothing to do with it to be honest. So I hate the negativity, I think it's crazy, I think negativity in media steers guys away from certain teams... it's like, 'Why do you want that?' right? So I don't know, I'm a huge fan of the positivity, finding the positives in players and not putting guys down especially in podcasts and stuff like that where it should be for the players, right? It should be a positive thing, something that we rally around. Especially as ex-players!" "Yeah! We're gonna pump your tires!" "That's it!" "Well, you still gotta be real though!" "No, I know!" "You know if you have a bad gameā" "It's gotta be real! For sure!" "āYou gotta be real! You can't fake out your audience either so it's still a business." "One hundred percent! One hundred percent, one hundred percent... and I get that butāYeah, I mean, I saw all those Spittin' Chiclets guys all over Edmonton's bandwagon so..." "That really bothered you guys, eh? Like, I mean, you guys were paying attention to that. I mean, as evidence as well on what took place on the ice after the game... you guys weren't, like, fucking around, you were being serious, right? You guysāthat really bothered you guys?" "Hundred percent." "What was it? Like, the most that bothered you about it? Just the fact that, 'Hey, you guys are rooting for them... why are you trying to celebrate with us?' I mean, was itāis it that simple?" "Exactly. Yeah, get the fāwe won, get off... right? Get out of here. That's uh, yeah. I don't know, I don't want to be too controversial or anything like that. I'm a happy guy, I like everybody so... whatever." "They're all good dudes, man. Listen if they're into hockey and they're talking about hockey thats a positive one way or the other!" "Oh, they're growing the game! They're growing the game! Huge! And they're doing a great job and I've spoke with Biz [Paul Bissonnette] a few times and I know Whit [Ryan Whitney] (Cohosts of Spittin' Chiclets) and I've got no issues with any of 'em. Truly."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#i love when ekky gets petty i think he should be petty more often#āim a chill happy peace loving guyā NO YOU ARE NOT SWEETHEART LMAOOOOOOO#its the way ekky tries to portray himself and the way he actually comes off thats so special to me#matthew āwe dont listen to outside noise!ā vs ekky āi remember the names of all my detractors and will write them in bloodā#ānegativity flows through media so much that it just kind-of disgusts me and I want nothing to do with it to be honestā#said like a man who went first overall to a team that was basically seen as a suffering hellhole for years#and has so much negative media focused on him for fucking ages#āwow that really bothered youā āyep (refuses to elaborate)ā#āso like what about THAT bothered you? (proceeds to sus out his feelings)ā āexactlyā ITS LIKE PULLING TEETH WITH THIS GUY#āget offāā you absolutely know he was gonna say āget off our dicksā oh you know he wanted to say it. thought about it.#and went i cant be that crass in public despite the fact im allowed to say fuck multiple times.#i would pay so much money to get a completely unfiltered conversation with ekky SO MUCH MONEY#unfortunately i think you should be more controversial ekky#say what you really feel baby!#i love the podcast that shall not be named slander like yeah ekky im glad we're on the same page about this#the whatever after he goes im a happy guy i love everyone you doing a great job convincing us this didnt affect you at all#i love ekky so much you dont understand
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Did someone say 90s Gay Club House music themed Clegan AU?
No? No one?
But I swear I heard something? š¤
(it was me, I said it just then.... stay tuned)
#i want to write something which isnt fucking depressing god dammit#sometimes i read my own shit and im like good lord what is wrong with you#lighten up a bit#bloody hell#the mad max au was supposed to be fun#and tbf that was a miscalculation from the start#that is not a happy fun universe#tfw you try and write something 'fun' and the title of the first chapter is 'hope is a mistake'#very good sweetie youre doing very good#so i have been listening to my 90s rave piano and i am writing something colourful and fun if it kills me#also i am determined that this will be my first successful go at writing a one-shot#wish me luck babies š#mota#clegan#john egan#bucky egan#gale cleven#buck cleven#callum turner#austin butler#me#hilly writes#i just think that bucky should be allowed to do a bit of cocaine#as a treat#you know he wants to#and who am i to deny him that?
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i feel like slightly younger than marius mael is the best just for flavor reasons lol. reeaally curious to know what you think
I think I usually land on slightly younger but not like a baby. Like early 30s maybe. BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOME THOUGHTS OF WHY I LIKE EACH OR WHY EACH COULD WORK:
Under 30: First of all because of Jesse's chapter in QOTD--Maharet was turned around age 20 I think? And for Jesse, I'm sure there's that sort of uncanny thing where your mind fills in blanks and makes excuses, like, her "aunt" has been around her whole life so like gee golly I guess she just looks young for her age! Except that there's like the vampire uncanniness too, so whatever you judge as an age doesn't super matter. So like, Mael blending in as one of her guy friends in his early 20s would make sense. Jesse DOES also clock him as not being human, so again I think the uncanniness might not make her peg either of them as a certain age.
I do worry if this clashes with the idea that he could properly be a priest? Caesar said that it takes 20 years to train a priest, but A) A lot of what Caesar said is like anti-Keltoi propaganda and might not be accurate since the Druids famously never left anything in writing, so there's very little first hand information about them. B) MAYBE IT'S OKAY BECUASE IN VC-VERSE TESKHAMEN IS REAL AND MAEL WAS REALLY COMMUNING WITH HIM SO IF THERE WAS LIKE MAGIC AFOOT IN THE COMMUNITY MAYBE HE GOT FAST TRACKED OR RESPECTED AS BEING SPECIAL IDK. I can work with it and make excuses lol.
I LOVE the idea of him being like a young man because of how much madder that would make Marius, plus the way he likes to mentor young blonde men lol. But it might like hurt him even worse if the author of all his misfortunate is like SOME KID.
In his 30s: Personally I usually land here because I DO wonder how long it takes him to gain status in his community and become a priest (in his 30s is still fast tracking it but maybe feels more plausible LOL) and I enjoy the idea of he and Marius being sort of similar to each other. Like, Marius often gets used as the example of Turning an Older Guy and what it means for his temperament and the way it translates to his immortality. I like imagining Mael as around Marius's age for that reason, like I want to remove all his excuses why Mael is a young stupid kid or even an old salty jerk--it forces Marius to confront that Mael is ALSO someone who is chill and smart and has had enough life experience. BUT WHILE THERE'S A WINDOW WHERE THEY COULD BE SIMILAR IN AGE, OR MAEL COULD BE A TAD OLDER, I ALSO STILL ENJOY MARIUS BEING LIKE "HE'S YOUNGER THAN ME I HATE THIS!" BECAUSE HIS AGE AND SELF-PERCEIVED WISDOM & EXPERIENCE ARE IMPORTANT TO HIS IDENTITY AND HE FEELS BELITTED LOL.
In his 40s: Makes sense for the above reason! But I like to skew younger personally just for the Marius ageism dynamic lol. Also there's something about him being a foil to Marius where like, if they're very similar in other ways it can kind of emphasize how their atheism/religion contrasts each other and affects them as people.
Over 50: ALSO POSSIBLE and it's hilarious bc in the audiobook the narrator reads him like such a grouchy old man lmao. I could see this causing a lot of resentment because Marius likes to be the oldest and wisest in the room. I could see him also being younger because Marius insults him every chance he gets and I just think he would've told us that Mael is like an old hag if it were true lol. Anyway wondering how this effects Marius's barbarian kink and how he submits to men.
#btw ive been meaning to write a post when i have a minute about like the experience of transformative fandom#and how like if youre a person who sees the source as sort of dynamic and malleable that you wonder things like this#vs only ever seeing the source as a static topic that needs to be discussed like a literary essay#and how there's friction when people don't allow both types of fandoming to exist in the same space#because ive been seeing some bullshit lately with people taking the source too literally and not allowing anyone to play with it#like none of this stuff is in the books but im trying to write a fanfic so what do you fucking want me to do LOL#sorry i guess ill be boring and not develop any of these dynamics because canon didnt give me an answer lol#and wahts INTERESTING is that many versions of the text can co-exist when you ask questions like this#like rereading Mael scenes and imagining him as 20 or imagining him as 60 makes the scenes very different!#and that's cool and we should talk about it!#anyway sorry i feel like i blew my load with that post by turning it into a tag rant but if i can articulate myself later ill try LOL#mael#marius/mael#marius de romanus#deep ass thoughts about vampires
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Do people not realise that a person doesn't suddenly gain full maturity and knowledge of everything when they turn 18?
#Another day another 'minors shouldn't be allowed in fandoms' post#and whilst yes I do think it is important to make sure content that a minor should not be viewing isn't viewed by one#fandoms are communities at their core#oftentimes a child doesn't have a good community around them to express their interests#(y'know since a lot of people in fandoms are queer and or neurodivergent)#and then you vote to exclude them from spaces where they can interact with people of similar interests for what?#And what will you do when they turn 18?#Suddenly welcome them with open arms?#Why would you expect them to feel welcome when less than a year prior they were shunned for their age#or will you find some other arbitrary reason to exclude them?#And people wonder why someone would have a negative opinion of fandoms#'but they aren't mature enough' For what?#What aren't they mature enough for?#To be on the internet? trust me they go through the same spiel every year about internet safety#To use Ao3 without causing drama? Nope. When I was new I looked up tutorials for how to use Ao3 and learned about the culture from them#All it takes is educating someone for them to learn#even if you yourself don't want to educate people yourself uplift people who are willing to#all it took for me was one video on fandom etiquette#And don't act like there aren't grown adults who will cause drama for funsies#People can be shitty no matter what age#do we exclude everyone from fandom for the mere chance they could be shitty? No.#And don't get me started on people who complain about minors writing fanfic#what is wrong with it? They're having fun. What else is there to it#Let kids have a positive environment chances are they're not getting one at home#welp this derailed#the only cringe thing here is making fun of children#I see any of you fucks doing that its the guillotine for you
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is thatā at least as far as i see itā they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15ā¬ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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this tweet is so weird like fanfiction isn't real. who cares if something isn't realistic. it might be "realistic" to some people. not everyone's experiences are universal.
Write whatever the fuck you want, regardless of experience, yknow, unless it's something actually really serious, like mental health. some things require research before writing or portraying
edit: and might i add that fic writers and artists are pouring their hearts into the fics and art you read/look at for FREE? We post our work for free and people say stuff like this. Saying stuff like this doesn't help, just feels unnecessary, and a tad mean
#obviously there are some things you should DEFINITELY research before writing#ramblings#but like relationships and sex and whatever#being a virgin doesnt mean youre not allowed to write smut. just do whatever the fuck u want who cares what ppl say#life is too short on this hell planet just WRITE IT#yes. a virgin made this post. okay. its way past my bedtime#now i know why i dont use x#this take is just. idk it rubs me the wrong way#yeah they said 'no shade' but like. Still.#some people are unlucky with friends esp in adulthood#just let people write their platonic friendships and romance fics please#maybe i wanna live thru a fictional characters friendship which is why i really enjoyed pokemon journeys#shit made me emotional when goh and ash said goodbye#oops im offtopic here but my point still stands
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write š#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya š
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I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck
#ingital#did you know there's a bit in ingital i cut out where he tells Neuvillette they have to go get their kids tested. it's cut out of the carol#and vautrin scene. because I wanted to recontextualise carole's canon story as like about her social ostracisation because she's#a weird little girl with a very strong sense of justice (autistic like her dad lol). and I wanted it to just be a family moment where#wriothesley just very casually suggests getting their kids tested to see if they need additional support. and its just because i wanted it#to be seen as a very normal. even slightly positive moment (carole you're just like your papa!). because . you dont often see an autism#diagnosis as a Normal thing. much less a silly fun thing. and Ingital is silly fun the fic#the thing is. I specifically sat down and told myself. I'm gonna write a neurotypical man because not every single guy in my fic has to be#neurodivergent. when I write wriothesley it's usually more about trauma cptsd and high functioning depression anyway.#but I am autistic. even my trauma/depression/mentally ill experience is viewed through autistic lens. which is why im like#I should learn how to write a neurotypical man right. this is so dire. because what if i CANT. GOD#severe trauma does things to your neurotype anyway so he's Not Neurotypical but GODDDDDDDDDDD I made the fucking. disorganised#basement dwelling tech nerd gag in the latest chapter. and I FORGOT THAT THAT'S TIPPING INTO AUDHD TROPES/STEREOTYPES.#I know this had potential to go into audhd territory from Day 1 when I decided he fucking dwells on stack exchange#but i told myself. well. just because he's a nerd and highly intelligent doesn't mean he's audhd. right. because if he still#has relatively normal sensory experiences (outside of ptsd/other mental illness symptoms) and is still within normal range of organisation#then he's not audhd. because the difference between audhd disorganisation/dysregulation and similar symptoms in depression/other illnesses#IS THAT HE'S STILL GONNA BE DISORGANISED WHEN HE'S NOT DEPRESSED!!!!!!! And he's not depressed in his little basement enclosure.#that . level of happy chaos. is exactly how he naturally operates when he's allowed to do what he wants. I fucking made him audhd AGAIN#and he even has his own extremely strange way of naming files.
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