#I said some months and then again some days ago that some of these FF chains have empty restaurants

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

I got some friends that are foodies like me but its like we always go to real restaurants right and I feel this is a wake up call for some

corporate greed = your demise :)

Esque aunque sea un capricho que te des de vez en cuando, pasas del tema cuando algo que costaba .50 hace unos años a 1.50€

Pasas de beber una Fanta a la semana a beberte un té de pomelo en casita con hielo y limón 😍 y al final es una cada 6 meses y así con todo :) o te vas a opciones más rentables o que cundan más. Muchas cosas que nos venden NO VALEN y más siendo sitios que te venden calorías vacías. Al menos, ir a un restaurante que os llene 😂

[luvvixu]

the end

synopsis: the end of your relationship was inevitable. that's why both of you and gojo satoru individually prepare yourselves against the pain and separation of an upcoming divorce. and when that thing came, you suddenly found yourselves trapped inside the circle of your marriage where denial is present, and acceptance is absent. let us all see how the marriage walk through the end.

tags: divorce!au, ex-husband!gojo, angst, hurt/no comfort, mentioned of death, mentioned of trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: here's an almost 8k words of oneshot about gojo marriage again. i've mentioned this before but im taking a very small break and will be back on june 5 with an update regarding to the chapter of mind over matter ff. be sure to check out the announcement!

it was a peaceful morning on your balcony with satoru gojo, your husband for almost two years. you are reading your newly purchased book with your glasses on to help you see the letters.

you take a second peek at your husband who was already gazing at you from the beginning. his gaze was painted with a mixture of sadness and adoration towards you. looks like he had something to say, and you're right, he did have something to say when he mumbles your name.

oh god, you knew where this conversation would be. keeping your eyes bore on him, you fully turned your attention to him and waited for him to speak what's on his heart and mind.

"i think we should file a divorce."

his voice was monotonous and yet you knew it really wasn't, his face also did the same since you also didn't hold one either. your expression still remained calm like he was not asking for a divorce as you closed your book and then put it back on the coffee table.

meanwhile, satoru couldn't read you at this moment because you were quiet, too quiet for his liking. were you so shocked that you couldn't react to his sudden cut of ties? or was it just you already expected this the moment when you woke up?

probably, the most accurate reason and answer was the second one. satoru watches you lean on the seat with your hands clasp on your lap. he also never fails to see the neutral glaze in your eyes.

"if you are wondering why i didn't hold any emotion as you speak, that's because i already reacted a year ago." a sigh escalated from your lips as you removed your glasses also and put it on the table.

"you expected that this day would come?" he said in silence while secretly fiddling with the calluses on his hand—a hidden and canonical habit of satoru whenever he feels anxious and worried.

before this day would come, the two of you got married when both of you were twenty. a young, dumb, and somehow not stupid but definitely reckless who took a big tramp of change among themselves.

satoru was the one who asked you to get married after almost four years of being inside an on and off relationship. that was very fast and very reckless at that time—but of course you agreed because you are a fool to get yourself blinded by your love towards him.

so, the two of you got married and with only some people whom you both held close dearly attended the said wedding. it was simple and civil, but to you, it was your everything. the wedding and this marriage mean so much to you.

your marriage went pretty well in your first few months of being married. both of you got yourself a house with a nice garden that you absolutely adore, you also got yourselves a work almost instantly too. satoru got more missions since he was now a graduate, while you work in your own cafe and occasionally take jujutsu stuff.

things were really fine with heaven as the witness. until one night during your almost first anniversary, you caught him going home around three to four o'clock in the morning with a smell of alcohol and woman's perfume that's definitely not yours. he's really drunk, which was weird because he hates alcohol. you wondered what's the occasion or any celebration that should be celebrated and whatnots, but you can't think of any. so that leads you to silently crying.

you did not confront him about your first suspicion of cheating, you want him to admit it himself, but that doesn't mean you're going to tolerate that piece of shit because for god's sake! there's a fucking hickey on his neck that night, you knew it wasn't yours since you've barely had an intercourse due to both of your busy schedules.

you remember asking him about his whereabouts that night like you weren't aware, but his answer just disappoints you, he told you that he had an emergency mission and needed him in action asap at kyoto around 11pm and it took him some time to finish it. as mentioned before, his answer disappoints you, because your assumption has been partially proven.

satoru was clearly lying about his whereabouts that night but still the cheating allegations were not clear. maybe the seemingly foreign hickeys on his neck was already evidence but you're probably still in denial, so you didn't instantly conclude that he was really cheating with you.

but you still couldn't shake off his illicit affairs. why? because satoru was lying about the emergency mission on kyoto. he wasn't there, you knew that because you were the one who took the mission, not him. satoru actually rejected the mission because he's busy with other matters so you took it yourself without even telling him.

all of these things that are happening leads you back to that day when he proposed to you. it was so sudden that it made you a little bit skeptical. but when you asked him why he suddenly asked you to get married? easy, you didn't know.

however, you had your hypothesis that after geto disappeared and went on his rebellious phase, you let gojo use you to relieve his grief. that is why when you realize that this marriage is meant to not last long, you secretly cry to yourself during your first year anniversary as a married couple.

meanwhile, satoru knew to himself that he couldn't stand a long-term relationship. though he also started to feel bad for making things go very quickly with you, his love towards you is pure and genuine. in fact, he would do anything just to keep you safe and happy. but he wasn't able to do that when you're the opposite of him.

he is selfish and you are selfless.

no matter how hard he tried to change or even make things up for you, he just couldn't do it. there's this invisible dark string that pulls him inside the void of darkness. and he couldn't afford to bring you down with him. the thing that geto did really left a scar, a permanent scar to his chest that creates an inescapable hole that keeps on growing bigger and sucking his life in the process.

while you, you fully commit yourself to him. that's why everything would be pointless for satoru to let himself get hurt just to protect you. because you would literally throw yourself in the fire when he's burning.

it was like the two of you are a magnet with the same pole. you can't attract each other no matter how hard you try to let them collide.

back to reality, your head was faced downward. your husband sought for your eyes by calling your name meticulously, but you refused. an internal laugh at your pathetic figure rang through your mind, you are laughing at yourself for believing that you are already prepared for this moment, turns out, you're not—you’ll never be.

satoru mumbles your name again. and all of the sudden, you just let out a nod, followed by a small sigh. you let yourself look at him again despite the unnoticed tears in your eyes.

"okay, but let's spend this whole day as husband and wife for the last time. let's do the things we usually do during our free time." you said, and satoru agrees with you almost instantly. he thinks this is the least thing he could do for you before setting each other free.

everything went normal for the rest of the day. satoru takes you out for lunch, visits your favorite cafe for desserts, and even goes to the park where he asked you out to be his wife.

and right now, the two of you are in the cemetery, specifically in haibara's graveyard. the sun was proceeding to its dusk, making the place a bit solemn because of its ambience.

"do you think he'll be mad at my decision?" your soon-to-be ex-husband asked you with his small tired voice. haibara was your bestest friend of all and he actually talked to gojo when he's still alive about his relationship with you. he would like gojo to take care of you and treat you more than you deserve in your entire life.

"i don't think so. haibara only wants the best for us. he's a man of freedom, after all. and yet, how ironic because he, himself, has no freedom during his time in the jujutsu." you answered him as you watched the candle burn itself.

satoru looked at you. "how about you, y/n? are you mad at my decision?" he asked you a bit hesitant.

you just smiled at him and said, "i will answer that later, satoru." satoru nodded at your answer, he understood that you had a lot to say to him later.

after some time, you two decided to go home to your shared apartment. the journey back was fun and relaxing, it was filled with smiles and laughter that will soon vanish as the dawn is coming.

6:00 PM

both of you arrived at home. you helped satoru hang his coat on the raker like you usually do whenever he comes home during winter. this small act is something that would be definitely missed by him dearly, since you will not be around to do it.

"thanks for agreeing to go out with me." you said to him with a smile that almost reached your eyes. the only thing that stops you from giving your bestest smile was the divorce, but you subside because this is your last day as a married couple. you have to enjoy it to the extent.

"that was the least thing i could do for you before…nevermind." he said. satoru was not cheerful enough to make you smile whenever your eyes met. you also noticed that he was downhearted since you visited haibara's graveyard.

though as you were heading in your shared apartment, he was smiling and laughing. guess you didn't overlook him at all and you failed to notice his hidden pain.

you watched him lay down on the couch. "you looked bothered. was it because i didn't answer your question earlier?" you said quietly.

satoru didn't say anything, and according to his vocabulary, silence means yes. you sigh to yourself and take a seat on the same couch where your husband was lying in.

your hand reached out for his face, cupping it as satoru looked at you with his hooded eyelids. those magical six blue eyes are staring at you with known emotion, pain and agony.

"you didn't ask me why i suddenly wanted to get divorce…" he mumbles, nestling his head in your palm.

"you agreed without questioning me. i don't even see you cry about this. why y/n? are you hurting yourself by keeping your emotions inside you?" he continued. the pain in his voice breaks your heart into bits of pieces. satoru looked so vulnerable, his true emotions are showing exclusively for you.

you let out a small but bitter chuckle. "crying is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together, toru." his eyes widened at your answer. a droplet of tears slide down on your palm. satoru was crying, and you let him weep because you knew he's pent up.

"and i'm not mad at you. i also didn't ask you any questions because i know you know what you are doing and i respect your decision." you added.

"although, i admit. i want to bawl my eyes out. i want to scream because my heart is aching for believing that i was prepared for this moment." your breathings started to become shaky also just by watching satoru weep under your touch.

you refused to cry. at least not now.

"but i don't want to ruin this day by crying. i want both of us to savor this moment with smiles and laughter. so that when we part our ways, we wouldn't have any regrets to hold."

"so, satoru…let's continue to spend the rest of our night happily, hmm?" you let yourself smile for him to be motivated to stop from crying. however, he did the opposite. satoru cried even harder.

your hand is being cradled by him. you could feel his tears on your palm followed by his little hiccups. this scene alone in front of was usually enough to make you cry even harder than him. it was utterly heartbroken to see your man cry like this.

"hush, my…" love, that's the word you would like to say but forbids you to do so. satoru also noticed it too and he absolutely hates the feeling of it.

"l-love. call me love. c-call me like you used to call me before. first name basis is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together." he mimicked your words earlier. though it may sound like a joke, it isn't. satoru has been dead serious since the beginning of the day.

"my love…"

"y-yes, my sweetheart?" he responded.

your lips quiver from the overflowing emotions in your chest, but you still refuse to let yourself cry even when you're all by yourself. god, you are hopeless and devastated.

but dear me, it felt so good to hear him call you with endearing words. oh how you wish this kind of moment would last forever. maybe in another life, it would be. only if fate would be kind enough to give satoru to you again, maybe it will and it would be.

8:00 PM

satoru was all alone. his eyes were puffy from crying and stuff. he was such a mess. and if anyone would see, they would probably think that he's a zombie because of how low energy he was.

it took him almost an hour to stop crying. and you declared that this is the first and would be the last time that you would see him cry very hard.

right now, he was currently packing his things as he was about to move out tonight while playing betty by taylor swift. somehow, his mood got even more affected by this song, for every lyric hits him hard and he doesn't know why.

"♪ you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says ♪" the radio sang. a shaky sigh came out from his mouth, he felt like crying again.

“♪ most times, but this time, it was true ♪”

"let me help you pack your things." you suddenly barge inside your onced shared bedroom after cleaning up for tonight. you are also in your sleep wear when satoru looks at you.

“♪ the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you ♪”

you didn't fail to notice that he is listening to one of your favorite artist's songs. a flashback hits you, it was the moment where you persuade him to listen to it with you. now, he has grown invested in their songs.

he mumbles a small okay as he watches you sit down beside him and redo the messy clothes he just stuffed inside his luggage. most of his clothes were luxurious like polo shirts, slacks pants, coats, and his favorite, blindfolds.

your eyes soften when you come across a small pouch that contains hair ties and bobby pins you onced bought for him as a prank. you still remembered the moment he let you tie his messy white locks with colorful pins and he looked so incredibly pretty with it. you couldn't help but to feel yourself getting emotional again.

don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.

meanwhile, satoru remained very quiet, for he was staring at the photo in his hand. it was your wedding photo where the both of you are wearing traditional japanese attire. he couldn't help but stare at your smiling face for too long. you looked so beautiful.

the wedding was very simple, but satoru describes it as one of his happiest days, and he is not lying to himself whenever he would say that. because he onced dreamed of getting married to you, and it came true. he also had the same state as you, both on the verge of crying.

"i wonder…would you get remarried someday?" he asked out of the sudden. you shifted your gaze to him and found him staring at your wedding photo. instantly, your eyes went soft.

"i am not sure." you replied silently as you closed his luggage and proceeded to the other one.

your hands momentarily stop working as you stare at them and watch it shake. "but if i do, it would probably take me a decade or so to find another husband to love." you said. but truth to be told, you had no motivation left to find another husband.

"you're twenty-two right now. so like…you'll be thirty plus by then when that happens," he calculated. "how about you? would you consider getting remarried also?" you asked him the same question.

he thinks for a moment before nodding slightly. "probably yes." your heart let out a wince but you tried your best to hide it. those words unintentionally hurt you and cut you deeper than a knife.

"w-well, i just wished good luck for both of us in the future." the crack in your voice didn't go unnoticed by satoru. he was about to reach you but then eventually dropped it. "me too…" was all he could say.

"anyway, do you mind if i ask…where are you staying after this?" you trailed off.

"i'll stay with higuruma for a day before moving out to my new apartment. speaking of that man, i told him to be here around midnight. so we still have four hours to be together." he answered

"...yeah."

10:00 PM

the two of you are sitting on the same seat just like this morning in the balcony. you are wearing your favorite cardigan as satoru was in his coat to fight the cold weather of the night.

all of his things were already packed and ready to leave. soon, you'll be alone and this house will not be lively as usual because his presence will be missed.

both of you refuse to say a word, yet. because you two are scared to have another breakdown that made this marriage even harder to break. especially satoru, he was aware that deep inside him he was not ready to let you go. he was just lying to himself because he is aware that he can heal if he gives himself some time.

"y/n, can i hold you here in my arms?" satoru swallowed all of the bitterness he felt for leaving you just to hold you again, for one last time. you slowly stood up from your and came towards in front of him.

your soon-to-be ex-husband gazes upon you. however, you refuse to meet those warm eyes that you loved the most. satoru slowly pulls you into his lap and cradles you like his greatest treasure, which you definitely is.

when your face hits his shoulder, you couldn't help but to hide your face deeper into his neck. "the place i'm going to stay afterwards is far from here. are you sure you will be okay?" he whispers in your ears.

"yeah, i'll be fine." you nodded solemnly. "i also planned to stop from my work for a while." you added.

"why?" satoru raises his eyebrow. he thought you loved your job as a barista. you enjoyed making coffee and wherever there's extra pastries left in the cafe, you would take it home for him to try it.

"don't worry, i had a lot of fortune that could last for a century. and besides, you even said i had a midas touch, so surviving won't be too hard for me." when your parents died, they left all of their fortune to you. so that makes you an instant millionaire and nobody knows that beside your husband.

satoru gently pushes you to meet his eyes. "i think this moment is perfect to give all of my secrets away. i don't need any perfect lies to hide from you anymore." he tucked the loose hair on the back of your ear, admiring your beautiful frame under the pale moonlight.

he gulped nervously, and for some reason, you're becoming very anxious about what he's going to tell. all you had to do was to wait for him to speak his thoughts out.

"the reason why i want to divorce is to have a new life and forget about the past. that includes you, y/n." though he only started, millions of knives already stabbed your poor heart. your eyes stared at him, a bit widely.

satoru couldn't bear to look at your pained expression, but he forced himself to look at you. so that you would feel his sincerity. "before suguru disappeared, he once told me to choose another path of life. he told me to run away from the jujutsu, run away from my life." he said, almost whispering.

"although, i want you to come with me. but…"

"i somehow got myself involved with the jujutsu too?" you continued it for him. satoru falls silent, so that means yes, it is true.

satoru cups your face. "i'm sorry, y/n. i really, really love you. but this is not the right path for us. you'll get more hurt if you continue to get tangled with me. so, after a lot of thinking and consideration…"

"i became selfish once again. i chose myself over you, y/n."

for the nth time, the walls you have been building around your emotional state are starting to shake once more. you could feel the hot tears building in your eyes.

you will not cry. you will not cry. you will not cry.

"i-i understand…although, you don't have to apologize for choosing what is the best for you. i'm actually glad that you're finally doing it." you plant your palms over his hands on your cheeks, closing your eyes to swallow up those annoying tears.

"i'm such a bad husband, aren't i?" satoru chuckles weakly. what has he done to deserve you like this? your understandment is something that he greatly admires in you. your heart is pure like an angel from above.

an angel like you can't fly down hell with him.

but god, you're making yourself willing to go down with him without any hesitation and that is just completely wrong.

and for the past years, satoru would make a mistake and you are there to correct him patiently. he would always tell himself to make something and make everything up for you. but who would have thought a divorce is the best thing to do?

"to be honest, not at all. remember what i told you before we got married? you are the fire and i'm the—"

"gasoline?"

"no silly, that's a song." your laugh brightens up the atmosphere. satoru smiled at your happy demure, he likes seeing you this joyful.

"you are the fire and i'm the fireman. a fireman would not function completely when there is no fire. meaning, why would i, a fireman, be here if there's no you, a fire." you raised your fingers to help you visualize your point.

"does that make sense to you?"

satoru shook his head. "no."

you snapped your finger. "exactly! you think i'm bad at explaining things, while i think of myself as great at explaining things. that's the same as you thinking you're a bad husband, while i think of you as a great husband."

"..."

"i made you speechless, meaning you agree and i'm great at philosophy!" you boosted yourself by imagining a crowd was giving you a round of applause.

your husband wonders for a moment before cackling a laugh. "that still didn't make sense to me but it brought a lot of comfort to me. thank you, y/n."

"come on! just admit you love my philosophical nonsense." you pouted, hitting his shoulder playfully.

satoru laughed once again, pulling you by waist as he buried his face in your hair. "of course i do. i love everything about you." and he would still do, always and forever.

"i'm going to miss this." you mumbled as you relaxed on his touch. satoru also agrees, kissing your head all over again.

"and i'm going to miss you too, a lot." he said sincerely. the two of you held the longest stare on this day. you just let yourselves drown with each other's enticing orbs.

satoru was the first one to break the record by sighing and rubbing his eyes. the truth is, he couldn't bear to look at you any longer because he could see how broken you looked through your eyes just because of him. instead, he hides his face once more on your neck.

“i'm really, really, really sorry, y/n. i'm so sorry for using you. i’m so sorry for cheating on you. i’m so sorry for hurting you. i'm so sorry for not choosing you again. i'm so sorry for being selfish. i'm so sorry for everything." there it is, again. his hot tears are back and now drenching your shoulder.

"i used you as a getaway from my sins and from the grief that day, y/n. you should've said no when i asked you to marry me, but why did you do the opposite?" his voice became slightly thicker, he's definitely frustrated.

"i did it for love, satoru." you answered without hesitation.

satoru momentarily stopped crying as his breath hitch. "yes, i'm already aware of your true intentions that day. but i still chose to marry you because i love you. i know it sounds so dumb but it's true." you continued.

you could feel his arms around your body tighten, scared of letting you go from nothing. it was like he was begging the gods, if there was one seeing the both of them right now, to let him be delusional and not take you away from him.

"let me ask you this time, do you regret marrying me?" you whispered.

your husband looked at you with unshed tears. "i don't. but i regret that this is the end of us."

why is it always the time where someone would tell their true feelings when everything is falling apart? so if this divorce wouldn't happen, does that mean his word would be forever kept inside him?

"i've always wanted to tell you that i was actually glad that you became my wife. i thought you would be my endgame. instead, you became the reason why i am still here and breathing."

the void of regret is slowly pulling him inside. but you are there to make sure that he would survive the gravitational pull. you just loved him so you will help to let you go.

"i love you, my sweetheart, my y/n, m-my wife..."

12:00 AM

it was quiet, really, really quiet. higuruma was looking at the two of you all over again. his eyes showed sympathy for both of you and he was sad because this is the end for you and satoru.

right now, both of you are staring blankly at the divorce paper on the table. no one was making a first move by signing it.

you let out a sigh, a heavy feeling was buried deep in your heart. your whole body feels so numb and you still haven't cried for today. everything feels so wrong, yet at the same time it feels right. you don't know what to do anymore.

as you recall your conversation with him, you just wished it didn't end and would continue forever. because you know you'll never get tired of hearing his voice, his laugh, and his philosophical nonsense too.

not to mention, you've also dreamed of building a family with him. a mini satoru and mini y/n sounds nice, doesn't it? as your eyes wandered across this apartment, you can depict your children with him running around. god, if you were dreaming, please don't wake up.

"higuruma, can you please just wait for me in the car…? i-i would like to have a final conversation with my wife." satoru suddenly spoke and nanami left without hesitation.

"so this is it?"

"yeah, t-this is the end." satoru chuckles breathlessly. there was like a big chuck on his throat that made him feel suffocating. truth to be told, he doesn't want this to be the end. but again, he has to.

"thank you for giving me a total of the best six years of my life, toru. i mean it, thank you." you counted the first four years of your relationship and the two years of your marriage. playing with your hands to mend the shakiness, it was a constant reminder that only a few minutes left before the surname satoru would be stripped of your name.

"thank you too, y/n. i also had so much fun and love these past six years. thank you for all of the things you have done for me." he said silently.

all this time, you are the only one looking at him because his eyes were focused on the paper in front of him. "good luck on your new path. i wish you the best." you intentionally called his attention.

"you're really staying here in this apartment…alone?" satoru asked you.

you let yourself smile slightly as you shifted into a more comfortable position. "yeah… just in case you feel homesick, this would be a reminder that you still have a home…only if you want to." the air in this room is very thick and it's suffocating you.

"t-thank you, y/n, really." he expressed his gratitude once again.

a nagging feeling tells you that satoru was about to go back on his decision at any minute. and you too would probably go back to your decisions you had set for both of you. it would be more devastating for you if satoru didn't achieve his plans for himself in the near future.

"let's not make higuruma wait."

satoru falls silent. now he was stuck in a madness of a dilemma. in short, he was starting to rethink his decision to the point that he didn't notice he was staining the divorce paper with tears. his hands began to shake violently along with his cries becoming louder any minute.

satoru finally lost his cool as he wailed loudly in front of you. the sound of his sobs made you clench your lip as your chest tightened once more.

you on the other hand, you're trying your best not to slip any tears down from your cheeks. you successfully stopped them from falling this morning, you couldn't afford to cry not because there's only a few minutes left before you would let yourself fall into a pit of sadness.

sensing that neither of you would make a move, you are aware that satoru couldn't bring himself to do it even though he had to. so, you gently steal the paper away from him.

divorce agreement…it read. oh how you despise those two words.

"satoru, i mentioned to you a while ago that the reason why i want to spend this last day as a married couple is because i want us to leave without holding any regrets." you started with your pen touching the paper. satoru's eyes widened, he wanted to stop you from doing it but nothing was coming out from his mouth.

"i can see it in your eyes, you're doubting your decisions." you continued as you wrote your name. in satoru's horror, only your signature is needed and everything would be over for him.

however, you stopped writing. you tapped the table to gather his attention to you. there he saw you smiling dearly at him.

"did you have fun spending time with me this whole day?" satoru knows your intention. you are encouraging him to do what he was supposed to do even if it means leaving you.

"yes…yes i do, i enjoyed being with you." he stuttered. the tears were still streaming down his face and he was using his sleeve to wipe it. you reached for the tissue and gave it to satoru as you watched him wiped his eyes and blow his nose.

"that's good to hear. i also had fun being with you. not only for this day, but the whole time i was with you, i enjoyed it." you grabbed his hands to soothe it by massaging those long and calloused fingers. satoru watches you and eventually becomes slightly calm by your actions.

you inched your lips into his fingers and kissed it delicately just like he used to do with you before. everything went blur to him and only the sound of your sweet nothing was audible into his messy world.

"i know you'll be doing great with or without me. so satoru, put more faith in yourself. this is another big step for us, and i want you to be ready just like i am." you swiftly slide the divorce paper in front of him. but this time, it has your signature on it.

satoru felt like he was being showered by the cold water as he stared at the paper with pure horror evident on his face. you finally did it, so there is no turning back now.

"h-how—when…! when did you sign it?" his voice cracked due to his frazzled emotions firing him repeatedly. satoru reaches the highest point of heartbreak he ever experienced in his life.

"when i gave you the tissue." you whispered weakly. to your dismay tears are only a slip away from your eyes a thousand times today.

"i don't want to sign it. i don't want to! i don't want to leave you anymore y/n!" he yelled. you accepted his lash out with open arms, but you can't do anything anymore. you finally signed the divorce settlement, and this paper wouldn't go if there's no signature of satoru.

you suddenly pull him into a passionate yet heartbroken kiss to shut him up. satoru eventually responds to your kiss, becoming more emotional than ever. while you are busy keeping him in company, you sneakily put the pen in his hand.

satoru felt an object in his palm, he knew you're telepathically telling him to sign the paper but he still refuses to acknowledge it, at least not yet. as he continues to devour your lips, his eyes are still producing salt tears that add more emotions in the atmosphere.

"i could see a bright future ahead of you, satoru." you muttered between the kisses.

"mhmp—you should grab it, please." you continued to deepen the kiss to lure him. but he voluntarily stepped away just to make a counter argument for that.

"but i could lose you if i do that." he whispers solemnly.

"we've already lost each other when we realized that everything was going too fast for both of us." you chuckled bitterly at your statement. "that it why it is time to face the consequences, by setting us free." you added.

"do…do you really want to do this?" he hiccups.

"this is what fate wants us to do." your voice is soothing as hell. it held no grudges nor resentment, just pure calm and adoration towards him.

but satoru still didn't bug and he still doesn't want to sign the papers.

your gaze never leaves him as satoru buries his face on his palm, weeping so quietly that you could almost hear a pin drop. it was getting so hard to watch so you looked away and slowly walked away.

"i am going out for a bit." you mumbled quietly, not waiting for him to reply or look as you walked away with your whole body shaking.

outside, there you saw higuruma leaning on his car exterior. "hey…" you greeted weakly. higuruma looked at you with a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

"hey…how did it go?" higuruma asked, his gaze falling on the papers in your hands.

"emotional." you joked.

"so, that's the end now?"

"...yep, that's the end now."

silence engulfed both of you, just your almost steady breathings and his observing orbs burning through your skin.

"never thought satoru could cry harder than he did when geto-san…you know." higuruma said, sighing as he tucks his hands on his pockets.

you nodded. "i know. satoru lost suguru literally, while he only lost me through relationship. he'd become more vulnerable around me, and that scares the hell out of me."

"i, his weakness, has become more exposed to his enemies. i know sooner or later, they would swoon to get me just to make him fall on his knees. we don't want that to happen, i don't want to be a bait nor a cause of his downfall. temporarily or permanently, satoru must not fall, no, not anymore." you continued.

"y/n-san, i hope you would also realize that failures, downfalls, mistakes, and damages are unavoidable, gojo-kun is no exception to all of that." higuruma argues.

"satoru is going to live a good life and have a future that he deserves, so who am i to halt it?” you ignored what he said because you know he was right.

“this is a big step for both of you. i just wished that everything would go well for the two of you.” higuruma smiled at you.

“we will, eventually.” you return the smile and then excuse yourself to go back inside, just to see satoru still crying nonstop.

approaching his figure, you wrapped your arms around his body to console the man. “don't go back to me now, satoru. if you cannot bring yourself to let go, then i will help you.” you whispered into his hair.

satoru pulled away just to look at you with his teary eyes. “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m really sorry.” he keeps on apologizing to you, while you just smile at him and wipe the tears in his eyes.

“it's alright, satoru. i already forgave you a long time ago.” you said.

“i can't sign it. i don't want to sign that anymore.” he confessed. a small form made its way to your temple” “but this is for both of us. don't you want to have a brand new start? how can we thrive when we both have shackles on our feet?”

“i-i thought everything was easy. i thought i could l-let you go that easily. but i was wrong. it's so hard to let go of us, y/n. and as much as i would like to do what i meant to do, it's just so hard to see us disappear from our now individual lives.” satoru buries his face on your stomach. your hands immediately made its way towards his hair as tears are threatening you once again.

“it's hard to let you go too, satoru. but it would be harder to see you suffer more when you're here with me.” it was getting late and satoru was still amidst the crisis, but you are determined to get him out of there.

“look at me, toru.” you cupped his cheeks and made him look at you. “you’ve still got a whole world to see. so don't you ever get worried about me because i’ll be more happy to see you free without any worries.

“go live a life that you weren't able to do when we were still kids. do what you always wanted to do.”

“and just so you know, i will always love you and you will always have a special place in my home.” you put his hand to your left chest where your heart lies. “here, satoru. you'll always be here.”

satoru pulled you into the tightest hug since it was literally the last and you wouldn't mind. reciprocating the hug, you finally smiled whole-heartedly and it even reached your eyes.

“whatever happens, i love you, y/n. i love you more than anything. i have loved you since the first time i saw you. and i will always love you even if this would be the last time i would see you.” throughout the six years that you two had been together, from boyfriend-girfriend relationship until to marriage—this was the very first time he declared his love to you with so much intensity.

your eyes nearly gave up on how long you've been trying to hold your tears. but you still swore that night that you'll never shed a tear unless satoru is out of the scene because you knew how much effect your crying causes him.

to hide your emotions, you pull him closer and share the last and passionate kiss as two persons who share the same surname are binded by the law. both of you could feel the emotions begin to overflow as things become more sensitive.

you were the first one to pull away as satoru was still crying. cradling his cheeks, you connected your foreheads together and said again, “let's not make higuruma wait any further.”

satoru knew it was time, time for him to finally sign the divorce paper that he's been planning for a month now.

he expected this one too just like you, so it shouldn't hurt, but why is his heart still aching? with a final stroke of his signature, satoru felt so empty. his soul feels like missing and something was taken away from him.

both have done it—a trial away and the marriage will no longer be valid. there would be no mr. and mrs. gojo now because both will live differently.

grabbing the paper with your shaky hands, you turn around at satoru and give him the final hug with a final kiss. “good luck on your new life, satoru. i’ll always cheer for you and support you until the end.”

“thank you so much, y/n. i really mean it.”

and with that, you and satoru shared the same sad smile you could utter at that moment. sure, this night will end bittersweet, but tomorrow is a brand new start.

you watched satoru walk solemnly towards the car. he looked like a ghost wandering around the vicinity without any will to search for the true paradise for him to rest. it really broke your heart that this is the end for both of you.

and with now fully signatured divorce paper on his hands, satoru felt that each step he took, he felt like fainting on the spot because of how devastating he felt.

but you cannot undo everything now. satoru had officially become your sweet memory and a stranger on the street at the same time. just as he was about to go inside the car, you called out for his name one last time.

your ex-husband looked at you with tired, red, and puffy eyes. you let yourself give the bestest smile you could offer at this moment. a smile entitled one last smile before saying a goodbye.

"if we found each other in another world, let me be your wife again!"

satoru's eyes glisten with tears once more. nevertheless, he also offers you the bestest smile he could manage. he is now letting his broken heart go out of your grasp. forcing himself to swallow and accept that in this lifetime, you are no longer his.

but if the two of you would be reborn or somewhere in the multiverse, he would pray that the two of you got the life you onced failed to build, and that was something he would wish for forever.

"of course! and i will choose you this time. we would make a family that we once dreamt of, and i will give you the honor to name our children." satoru yelled back, making your smile widen.

you could finally rest knowing that there would be a lifetime waiting for both of you somewhere in the future. and this time, you are not being delusional because you know it'll be going to happen and you'll make it happen.

"emi!"

"what?" satoru halted his steps to focus his attention on you.

"i want our first born daughter to be named emi." you've actually dreamed of having a child with him, in that dream, her name is emi. it was like a sign to you, so when you woke up, you immediately searched its meaning and found out that emi means blessed.

you are blessed.

both of you definitely feel blessed to have each other.

that being said, you have kept that name for a while now. sooner, you wished that name would be used with satoru's surname entangled to it.

because in this life, it was unfortunate not to use the name emi. you only want to use that name with him and only him. for you lived with him, loved him, and dreamed with him.

but patience is a virtue. you are willing to wait for that dream, for him. time is not a problem to you because you'd be fully patient just for him.

"have a safe journey, gojo satoru. i will be waiting for you in our next lives." you gently bow your head to send your wish for his safety.

with that, satoru enters the car without looking at you anymore. he was afraid that if he looked at you, he might find himself running back into your loving arms again.

"we'll be going now, y/n." higuruma rolled the window and waved a farewell to you.

you just nod at him while you watch the car slowly disappear from your eyesight. sad but true, you will be waking up all alone from now on 'till your thirties.

no more satoru to wake you up with cuddles. no more satoru who would make corny jokes randomly. no more satoru to who would always remind you that you have a husband. just no more satoru gojo—

drip…

a tear, followed by another, and another until it just flows uncontrollably. you are finally a crying-mess. you're letting yourself cry and let your emotions out by a shout of pain escaping out from your lips.

it was all over.

satoru chooses his life over you, and you choose satoru over your life. with your knees planted on the pavement, your hand travels towards your mouth to cover your loud painful sobs.

all of the tears that you had been keeping since this morning, finally had their freedom to flow at your cheeks along with anguish scream that came out of your broken heart.

you finally lost this time.

[a special chapter will be posted soon, so stay tuned and just comment if you want to be added on the taglist for this one — ©luvvixu2024]

[kafkasspiders]

r u mine?

• smut, jing yuan/f!reader, college roommate au, enemies to lovers but not quite, guitarist!jing yuan, jing yuan, creampie RAHHH, giving jing yuan a bj, dom!jing yuan, amazing aftercare <3, caught masturbation, jing yuan is a twt sex worker!

• idc that he's ooc, this is my ff

• word count: 2.5k

another night where you were barely able to get any sleep because it was playing the guitar again at 1 am. you wanted to rip open the door and scream your head off and tell him to shut the fuck up so badly, but you couldn't bring yourself to peel yourself off of your bed that you just got comfy in...

you decided to just deal with it by shoving in 2 airpods and blasting some random ambient music that was recommended to you on your youtube. you tossed and turned for a few minutes before deciding that this wan't going to work. you ended up facing your ceiling, wondering how you went so wrong in life. as you were reminiscing over your life decisions, you saw your door open.

a tall, annoying white haired man appeared... none other than your roommate that you couldn't stand, jing yuan. granted he was cute, with his loud music playing every single night, you couldn't help but to develop a burning hatred towards him over time. "heeyyyyy. am i too loud?" he teased with a smug smile on his face.

you grabbed one of your pillows and threw it at his face, he grabbed it before it planted on his face. "now i know my answer... how rude." he mocked. he went back to his room to turn the music off for a brief moment before returning to yours. you were left in confusion as he left your room and were met with disappointment when he came back.

"hey, tell me. why have you always hated me... i mean i'm a little loud, but i think that's really it, right?" he asked as he walked over to your bed. you would've told him off much sooner if you weren't so tired from the day. "no, that's just it. you're loud, annoying, and you never shut up. you always bring friends over and never consult me about it, and your friends need to stop asking if we're together when all i do is literally hole up in my room" you mumbled in reply. it was a bit hard to hear what you said, but he understood what you said. "well what's so wrong with us being seen as a couple! i always thought you were cute" he said with a small smile while gradually getting closer to your face.

you sat up on your bed and made shooing motions, telling him to get off. you didn't know how to feel about that comment, but what you did need to know is that you needed rest and time to think that statement over because you didn't necessarily disagree, but if he were to shut up more often, not be an obnoxious jerkface, not play his stupid guitar at 1 am, he'd be perfect.

as he exited your room, he waved with a smile and shut your door. i think that was the closest i've been to him physically in months... and now i'm horny. great. left with your thoughts, you decided to just masturbate, you heard that it can help with sleep and you needed it after what just happened. you opened twitter and opened your bookmarks, all your favorite porn pages were there. you went to check your favorite and saw that your favorite male sex worker, "L" posted not too long ago.

you watched the vid he posted, he was stroking his dick facing a mirror, with loud music playing in the back. seemed like a similar setting, but you truly wanted to ignore your thoughts and suspicions... no way he's jing yuan... maybe it's just a coincidence... but then again, in the fanfics, coincidences rarely ever happen... you thought. you just decided to get off to this page and deal with it tomorrow.

you pulled your shorts down from underneath your covers and pushed your panties to the side and watched L's videos as he was talking about how much he wanted to fuck you. well, not you, but his audience. you pushed your shirt up underneath your covers and played with your breasts for a bit before switching to your pussy. you thought of jing yuan ramming his dick inside you as you started to finger yourself. you knew it was wrong considering you hated him, but it didn't matter because he wasn't gonna be anything more than just a horny thought.

you continued to finger yourself as you scrolled through L's page, surprised by the amount of videos he has of him fucking himself with his hand and his fleshlight. the background looked so similar to jing yuan's room, it was unsettling. you knew at this point that it was probably yuan's who was "L", but you were too tired and horny to do anything about it.

you were almost over the edge from "L"'s video of him dirty talking to his audience. "c'mon baby, cum on my dick" "'m gonna fill you up with my kids and empty my balls inside you. you want that, huh?" were a few of the things he muttered as he jerked his dick against his hand. his moans were so cute, you were at the tip of your orgasm now. "ge- gene- general!! mmf- mmnfgh! pleasecomeinsideofme!" you moaned, trying your best to keep quiet. you forgot how thin the walls were, you were praying that he didn't hear anything.

just as you realized how thin the walls were, you heard a knock on your door. "are your clothes on? can i come in?" he asked. so he did hear... fuck. you thought to yourself, trying to think of any possible excuse in the moment, but of course, nothing came up. you were considering jumping out of your window right now. "yeah, i'm fine. what's up?" you asked, trying to act as if nothing just happened. "i heard you moan my name? what's that about, hm? thought you hated me?" he asked as he leaned against your door frame, full body leaning against one side of the door frame.

"are you hearing things?" you retorted, hoping that you'd be able to gaslight him into thinking that he was just hearing things. "oh love... your moans are so cute though, why keep them from me?" he said as he was walking over to your bed again. he sat down next to you as you were silent, unable to give him a reply. he tucked a hair strand behind your ear and gave you a smile. you leaned over to him, his face right in front of yours now. "please don't make me regret this" you whispered, as you leaned in to kiss him. what a manwhore... at least the dick will probably be good though... you thought to yourself.

"i knew you liked me. you won't regret it though" he said, smiling into your kiss. he's so beautiful. as you both were smashing your lips against each other, he progressively got rougher. he bit your lip half way through the kiss, making you let out a small moan and using that to shove his tongue inside. the kiss turned into a heated make out session in a span of minutes. he pushed you back on to your bed while still kissing you. "is this ok? do you want to continue, because if you say yes, i can't stop" he warned. "yes, do whatever you want with me..." you said. he smiled as he continued to kiss you, now pinning your arms above your head with one hand and fondling your breast with the other.

he broke the kiss to start sucking on your neck, moving the hand that pinned your arms up to your clothed pussy. he started circling your pussy in small circles while giving your neck kisses that'll surely end up bruising. he left the hickeys high on your neck, letting everyone know that you were his. you were now a moaning mess, at his mercy, and god he loved it. after playing with your clit and vacuuming your neck, he started taking his shirt off as you did the same. you weren't wearing a bra already since you were going to sleep and it was 2 am. his pecs and abs looked absolutely beautiful with the moonlight shining in, giving them perfect lighting.

as he was taking off his pajama pants, you took your shorts off, leaving you in your panties. you hid under your covers as you waited for him to finish taking his pants off, leaving him in his boxers. "don't hide, you look beautiful" he said, and for once in his life. he was sincere. he loved you, but was too afraid to admit it. you were giving him a small smile underneath the covers, but got distracted by the huge bulge in his boxers and the tip peaking up. how is this gonna fit...

he caught you staring at his bulge, and he decided to remove his boxers. you got out from underneath your covers and were on your knees in front of him. he pulled his boxers off and his dick slapped his stomach, it was so big and long. a good 7 inches and girthy at that... you were jaw dropped, but you decided to start giving his dick little kitten licks to see how he reacted. his dick started to twitch a little, begging for more. you spat on his dick a little, using it as lube to fist him. you took him in your mouth after giving him a little handjob.

"your mouth feels so good around my dick.. keep sucking y/n" he commanded. "yes general..." you replied, making his dick twitch inside your mouth. you took him in your mouth with a faster pace, but it wasn't enough. he started to fuck your mouth, making you choke on his dick, your nose touched his pelvis, struggling to breathe. "medallion will be your safe word, ok? or just hit me lightly 3 times, either way, i'll get the hint" he said as he paused. you nodded and continued taking his dick in your mouth, trying your best to deepthroat him. he continued to fuck your mouth, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly as he started getting close.

"f- fuck y/- y/n" he stuttered, his pace faltering inside your moth, getting sloppier by the second. "i'm cum- cumming!" he shouted before dumping his load inside your mouth. you swallowed his semen in a matter of seconds, cleaning up your mouth as he was recovering. "did you just swallow all of that?" he asked. you nodded and showed him your empty mouth in reply. "hot... but before we start again, can i cum inside?" he questioned, unsure if it was ok, since the both of you were just college students afterall. "yeah, i'll get plan b tomorrow, don't worry" you replied with a smile.

you laid down with your back on your bed as he caged you in, pressing his dick in between your legs against your panties, he was starting to kiss you again. "you're so good for me... i love it so much, you know that?" he queried, smiling against your lips. that comment made your pussy pulse around the air, you realized that he could feel your pussy as he was right against it... he continued kissing you for a bit more before taking your panties off and teasing his tip between your folds. "p- ple- please.. gen- genral... please fuck me..." you begged, looking at him. he pulled you down from your pillow so that you were closer to him, and he put a pillow underneath your waist as he began to insert his dick into your pussy slowly.

one inch at a time, until you were fully adjusted. there was some of his dick still outside of your pussy, but there was nothing you could do. you were already struggling to take him inside, he waited 3 minutes before starting his slow pace. "you feel so good, love.. feels like you were made for me" he leaned in and spoke in a soft manner, enough to make your pussy pulse around his dick. he felt you pulse around him and you could just feel his smile.

he grabbed your legs and spread them open in the air as far as they were willing to go, god you looked so beautiful. as he was thrusting inside of your belly, you could feel him slowly ramming himself against your g-spot, making you moan with every thrust, with each one being deeper than the last. you could feel him already peaking as he got sloppier.

he was holding out until you were close, but you were already on your way to your second orgasm, and debatably much faster than he was, despite his rapid thrusting. "mm- i'm cl.. close..." you moaned. he was going to break you in half at this point... you were asking yourself if you were even going to be able to walk after he's done, but then again, he's a 6'1 man with a long, girthy dick, so definitely not...

as you were reaching your peak, he forced himself inside you even deeper, so much so that your back was arching off the bed, your toes were curling, and your eyes were rolled to the back of your head. jing yuan wasn't your first, but he was definitely the best... a beautiful man with a beautiful dick and amazing skills.

"i'm- i'm coming!" you screamed out as you peaked your climax with him inside, and as you came, so did he. you both came simultaneously as he dumped his semen inside of you. the high was amazing, jing yuan plopped down next to you on your right, and he looked ethereal. you turned your body towards him and you both just stared at each other for a while.

"i love you so much, y/n. you're so perfect" he said with a soft tone, unlike his normal stern tone at work. "i love you too jing yuan, you're so perfect" you replied back with a smile. he grazed your face with his thumb, adoring you for a few minutes before getting you up and making a bath for the both of you. you grabbed your panty and his boxers and threw them into the washing machine before tossing him his new set of pajamas. he set them on the bathroom counter as he sat down near the bathtub and turned on the water.

"do you actually want me to have your kids?" you questioned him as he was sitting next to the bathtub that was steadily filling with lukewarm water. he nodded and patted the ground next to you. "of course i do, i wouldn't want it to be anyone else" he said with a smile as he reached for your hand and kissed the top of it. you said nothing in reply, but as he checked the water temperature, it was warm enough for the both of you to get in. as you both stripped your clothes, he went in first, and you went in after. you sat in the tub in front of him as you leaned back on jing yuan.

i am living the best life...

a/n: i hope yall enjoyed this, i switched the character for this like 23420492 diff times bc i was thinking ooc gepard n then i was like NO, ooc jing yuan n i j spun a wheel, so..

god damn yall going insane ☠️

[memberment]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

So the Trinitarians brain worm is back and Morning Glory is now longer and biting the dust as far as my focus goes.

But like, I genuinely want to talk to anyone who's invested in what's to come as far as part two goes. SO PLEASE. I IMPLORE THE FOUR OF YOU WHO PERPETUALLY TAKE NOTICE OF MY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID.

We're all aware that Trin is a time loop fic. That is confirmed.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW I'M GOING ABOUT DOING THAT. AND I NEED INPUT FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT ME AS FAR AS PLEASES AND SPARKLES GO, YES?

Because like sure I'm writing it and like fuck everything else, let me tell my story. But it's the how of it all like if I'm gonna throw another 200 give or take hours into this I would at least like one person to be having a wonderful time drinking and driving (I have since remembered this is not a common phrase, I do not mean this in a literal sense, it's an expression) with me right?

Part two is going to be 50 chapters, give or take. (Part one is about 37 for reference.)

So the plan for part 2 rn is (ROGUHLY):

(1-10) is the second timeline. There are a lot of importants and I cannot just glaze over it all more than that. But we're also working in a bit of a shorter time period than the original events of the story and introductions do not need to happen again, right?

(11-40)ish would be me running through the next timelines in a set up structure -> what changes -> the results of said changes and then inevitably what sends our looper backwards. It wouldn't be running through all the timelines but the more notable ones in kind of a four chapter structure, I am not fully sold on four, but rough estimate yk.

And then 41-50 would be the finale of part two. It's literally the last timeline in its glory and then the epilogue which kicks off part three.

COULD AT LEAST ONE OF Y'ALL SIT THROUGH THAT OR DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY NOTES AT ALL BECAUSE LIKE

I personally kinda like it but if not a soul is reading this I am throwing myself on the curb with the rest of the garbage LMFAOOO.

I NEED THOUGHTS. OPINIONS. COMMENTS. CONCERNS. ANYTHING.

Anyways, I'm going to work. I have off tomorrow and I broke the ff investment seal for today so insanity and updates will be here tonight and homework will be tomorrow.

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY <3

(9:30) I am literally falling asleep as I lazily write this angel based on Danse Macabre. Expect all of maybe one more update tonight if the tacos I am abt to receive don't wake me up LMFAO.

Also, I am almost saddened by not having something to post tm. Anyone want an early chapter of something that isn't Genesis/Desolation bc they're both on Monday?????? (I am feeling like a menace rn)

(10:19) tacos and the absolute yap session I just had did wake me up a bit. MAAAYBE might write some more. Idk I slept like three hours last night and went to work I'm kinda dead. But we're at 98.2k!!!!!!🥳

(11:06) okay we made it to 99.6k everything besides the flashback for 31 is done. I'm about to relax and watch something and figure out mechanics of some of this because god this series is A BEAST. Like, I still have six planned chapters left.

Pure insanity. I love it here. I hate it here.

Holy shit wait I just came to the realization that I started this fic exactly one month ago. I have belted out 99.6k for THIS FIC ALONE. (Moreso if we're including future shit that hasn't happened yet)

IN ONE MONTH.

THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY WHAT HTE FUCK LMFAOOOO

I may or may not be cooking we’ll find out in 6-26 business hours

(5:28) So I just had a very interesting past few business hours. I read a fic I've been waiting ever so patiently to finish. That's cool, right. I go for a walk at 4 in the morning because I'm insane. Fantastic. I get home at five and I'm like ohhhh well what do I do now it's not sleep time yet. Oh write I'm supposed to be drawing.

Nope I reread the epilogue of morning glory and realized Tweek's first address is for my morning glory and Craig's last sign off is your morning glory and now I'm ready to throw myself on the curb with the garbage as I sob. Someone call a trusted adult for me thanks.

[takeariskao3]

So, full disclosure

chapter 16 of the path from you has been hanging over my head for months and i think most of you have guessed why... for those who haven't or who are curious to know more about why it's taking so long, i've decided to be pretty open and candid below the cut. there aren't any outright spoilers but more just an explanation about the process i've been going back and forth on since.... february ?? (ffs)

this isn't directly in response to that anon from last night but they did make a valid point that i have been promising an update and failing to deliver so, if you're wondering why, keep reading

i very much realize that this is my hobby, and i do it for fun, and i don't owe anyone an explanation but i still feel like i can give one anyway. most of you have probably guessed that the next 3-4 chapters of the path from you are harry and ginny reaching their boiling points and finally having it out (in more ways than one)

my problem has been that i have a very specific order of events in my head about how it should all unfold but everytime i sit down to write, harry and ginny jump ahead three chapters and start ruining all my plans. i think they, and i, are ready for some conversations to start happening, however, if they break one wall, then they all come crashing down and to be honest, i'm a little bit attached to what i've already written in 17-18-19 to truly be able to blow it all up again.

now, with that being said, i also think i've gotten to the point where i know it's time for some reconciliation. unfortunately, my ego/pride/self-confidence is getting in the way a little bit because, in my opinion, a well-executed emotional payoff separates a good writer from a great one, and in the spirit of full honesty, i want to be great.

this version of harry and ginny, and all of you who have stuck with me for this long, have earned a damn good moment and i really *really* want it to be the best possible unfolding of events it can be. full of heart and vulnerability and passion.

the people that i talk to almost everyday about this fic (@narukoibito, @fairsquare16, @corneliaavenue-ao3, @herblazinglook, @ginwhisky, @brightlybound, & @valfromcall) can tell you that i have been laboring and struggling and agonizing over this chapter for months. this is not something i take lightly and this fic means a whole lot to me in a lot of really personal ways, so i have been taking a massive amount of time getting us to where we are because i want to get it right. i want harry and ginny's reasons for ending up where they are to feel honest and i want their resolution to feel cathartic. and maybe this is where i'm crippling myself, by trying to make it perfect, but dammit HARRY AND GINNY DESERVE PERFECT

thank you to everyone who reached out last night and over the past few weeks with love and encouragement and support. you guys mean more to me than you will ever know. any good vibes you can throw my way while i write tonight would be much appreciated. chapter 16 is close. i had a revelation a couple nights ago about why i kept getting stuck so hopefully this newfound direction will finally get us to the finish line.

i guess i'll end by saying this, if ever you are curious about what i'm working on or what's coming up next or why an update is taking so long, just ask. i am an open book. i swear i'm not intentionally holding out on you. and if i promise an update and come back a few days later saying its not ready yet, please remember that i am trying to put out the best possible version of my stories and i am just as disappointed as you are that i'm not updating.

as always, thanks for reading and for allowing me the space to create this version of h/g's love story.

[juliasdowntonstuff]

Chapter 55

Chapter 55 has just gone live on ff and ao3 :)

"Do you really have to leave us here already? You've only just arrived a week ago," Cora asked, hopeful disappointment evident in her voice.

"I am afraid so, but we will stop by on our way back," Harold replied, patting down his coat once again. The younger man shifted rather uncomfortably on his feet as he decidedly looked anywhere but at his sister. He did feel bad for leaving again so soon. Just a few months ago he thought he would never see her again, but there she was. She was standing there in front of him in a long grey skirt and white embroidered loose blouse, her greying hair tamed in an intricate updo like it always had. Cora looked weak to him, the effects her illness had had on her were still quite apparent — she had aged considerably in the past few months, her face now more wrinkled and sunken as she had lost quite some weight. But she was there, and for that he was grateful. And he really did feel bad for leaving so soon. Not bad enough, however, to postpone the trip he was about to embark on together with his wife.

Madeline, seeming even perkier than usual, added: "We promise. Downton is such a beautiful place to be anyway. I feel so incredibly fortunate, it was so nice to return to my homeland and be reminded of my old life. Please don't take this the wrong way; my life with Harold is wonderful," the young woman said, taking in her surroundings. Her gaze wandered across the vast green to her left and right, then up to focus on the imposing structure towering there over all of them behind her sister-in-law. It was such a beautiful house to call home, and Madeline was slightly envious of the people who truthfully got to say that. With her eyes settling on Cora once more, she continued: "But so is this."

"Don't I know it," the lady of the house laughed. And she did. She still remembered how foreign everything had been when she came here four decades ago with amazing vividness. Things here were all the same and yet also so different from back in Newport, it honestly still fascinated her to this day. Cora also knew how fortunate she was that she had found love here, and a home. "But I have to ask once more, where are the two of you going?"

"Oh, Harold wants to show me around Europe, our belated and early honeymoon, so to say."

"I just want to show her the beautiful places I have seen the last time I was here together with Mother. I did not think I would, but I enjoyed it all a lot more than I thought I would," the young woman's husband explained, his arm placed around her shoulder, keeping her close to him. "And look at me willingly leaving America for a third time," Harold added in jest.

"Those are not words I ever thought I would hear from you of all people, Harold."

[asoftgoth]

I hope these aren't intrusive to ask, but when it comes to your recent hip growth...

A. It's so cute, first of all

B. Do you believe they're growing solely because of HRT, or because of HRT plus you're specifically eating enough to continue gaining during your transition?

And when it comes to your transition in general, if you happen to plan to undergo any sort of gender confirmation surgery, have you already looked into qualifications/patient criteria? I'm not asking because I want to pry about you but because I think my egg is cracking but I'm already about the same size as you and I'm worried that if I even try transitioning, eventually I'll hit a road block at which point if I want to get any relevant surgery, they won't consider me viable unless I lose a lot of weight.

Again, I'm so sorry if this isn't stuff you're comfortable talking about, in which case please don't feel obligated to reply to this at all. I hope you're doing well!

Hey there :) First off im happy to answer pretty much any transition related questions. These are really invasive though and I appreciate you acknowledging that. For everyone that will read this, please don’t expect every trans person you speak with to be willing to open up like this. But with that said here we go:

A: Lol thank you 🥰💕

B: Its such an exciting and scary part of someone’s life when their egg is starting to crack. I remember those days well and I feel for you. But trust me, it gets so much better 💕 And about your questions, my hip growth is because of HRT mainly, and the fact that I have an overall decent diet. That’s pretty much it. And the diet aspect is important, when you transition your body is undergoing a massive transformation and it needs energy to help it along. My actual diet is for another post maybe, (it’s not anything special tho) but I’m not “actively gaining” and haven’t been since I started HRT, believe it or not! It might surprise some people but I’ve actually lost weight even though I’ve added about 3 inches to my hips since starting almost 9 months ago. Almost all of the weight I’ve lost (about 40lbs) has been from muscle loss throught my body. Plus I’ve also lost a ton of visceral fat from my waist(yay), and gained lots of subcutaneous fat in my ass and thighs (also yay). That’s not to mention my chest which is *really* growing a ton, and fast too. I’d say im really lucky with how my proportions are filling out, but it’s a long process and im extremely grateful. Transitioning definitely isn’t over night tho and as much as this sucks, it’s a genetic roll of the dice for what your proportions will look like. Transitioning takes a lot of bravery, and I don’t say that lightly.

With all that said, yes I do have some surgeries in mind that I want and plan on getting in the next few years. I don’t want bottom surgery, but if I did then my size would be an issue. There are strict BMI limitations for getting a vaginoplasty. It fucking sucks but that’s just the reality of things in 2023. Simpler surgeries like getting an orchi don’t have those requirements and that’s one thing I plan on getting fairly soon. Another one is FFS. I’ve actually talked with a few surgeons already who do FFS and some have BMI requirements and others don’t. The ones that don’t unfortunately may cost a bit more from what I’ve seen. (But they do have more experience too). For implants and things like that, I don’t know, I haven’t researched boob jobs specifically but I can’t imagine BMI would be an issue there. I know it isn’t for fat injections in your butt/hips.

One last thing too that I wanna make clear, because a lot of people might read this. You don’t have to actually take any medicine or have any procedures done to be transgender 💕 Medically transitioning is something that helps so many of us and is absolutely necessary for (I would say) most trans people, (it 100% saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it). But not all, and it doesn’t define your transness whether or not you’ve taken ~this~ medicine or had ~that~ surgery. I was just as much a woman as I am now for the year before I started HRT when I knew I was trans. And I was just as much a girl when I was born. I’ve been a woman all my life, it just took a little while for me to figure myself out haha. Just trust your gut and make healthy decisions. I put off the whole “deliberately gaining” thing while my body is going through all this change. And I personally feel like im better off for it. However I’m working out and eating to help grow my lower half, so I guess you could say my gaining journey isn’t over, it’s just changed. But anyway, I hope this helps you and anyone who reads this, sorry it was so long lol. If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask, and my inbox is always open too 🖤

[aquatixwitch]

So, on December 28th, I was hired to do my first professional walkthrough and cleansing as a witch and intuitive medium. It went well; it was a hospice facility, so as well as such a transitory place could go. But I surprised even myself.

Highlights include:

-

Me, to a young male (black) nurse: yo, you. Were you raised by your grandma?

Him: *jaw drops* Yeah man, how'd you know?

Me: because she's here and she's telling me over my shoulder that you've done good and she's proud of you for gettin outta trouble. She was bigger, right? Like a big ol southern black lady.

Him: Whoa. O_0

-

Nurse, explaining to me about all the activity and feeling of being watched in the laundry room.

Me: well you got about 10 people here whose families never claimed them, right? They like it here because it's quiet. They all just talk and then hush when you ladies come in because they know it creeps you out.

Nurse: OMG.

-

ME: *stops in front of a room* ...someone just passed here. Like. Two days ago?

Nurse: Yeah, omg. *thinking she's getting clever* How though?

Me: She fell. But that was secondary to what --she? She died of. She had pneumonia or something because I'm having a hard time breathing here. So.. aspiration pneumonia?

Nurse: now I'm freaking out.

-

Me, getting a sharp stabbing pain in my back in the nurses office while I'm cleansing: whoa ok. Bad jubies here. Okay I'm hitting this on the way back through again.

Me, when I come back again, the pain is gone: okay ...*Poltergeist lady voice* this house is clear. *Regular me voice* but some bchz in here are playing around with stuff and bringing nasty stuff to work with them. Knock that sh!t off. And ffs put some plants in here jfc.

-

*

I saw other very creepy things while I was there, but the worst one I saw was attached to a person, not the facility, and I said to the administrator in plain English that it was beyond my scope to get rid of it, because the resident is A) catholic and b) in that context...is oppressed and frankly needs an exorcist. I told them if she has a local priest come, which she apparently does, to give said priest my advice. Whether they do or not, we'll see, I'm scheduled to go back in six months when I'm off work in the summer.

It was intense, and exhausting. It takes a lot outta me to do a cleansing on a place that big. But it's newer, so if the facility follows up regularly, which I showed the admin how to do, it should stay relatively light and peaceful... for a hospice.

I think large places like this are gonna be a rare exception tho. Houses I can do...ish. Hospitals and such? Too much too often would probably kill me.

[il0veyoujk]

That's a no-no word

This is a tickle-related ff, if you are not interested in it, please keep scrolling

Summary: Nefeli (16) curses at her older brothers

Warnings: None

Notes: None

Lots of love Nef 💕

Nefeli has had enough of it. It was the third time this month her brothers wouldn’t take her with them to the park with their friends. She was 16 years old, she was old enough to participate in their conversations and joke around with them.

But no! The three lads wouldn’t take her with them “Sorry kiddo, maybe next time” Jimin smiled sympathetically at her and patted her head as if she was a little kid.

Nefeli frowned and folded her arms over her chest frustrated.

“Jimin! C’mon man, we’ll be late!” Jungkook yelled from the front door with their car keys in hand.

“But that’s not fair!” Nefeli kept whining with frustration well glued on her face “I’m 16! I’m mature enough!”

The young boy sighed and shook his head “No is no, Neffie”

It was making her really mad. She didn’t want to stay in the house any longer. All her friends were away for Christmas break. She was the only one from the friend group who had stayed behind and she didn’t have what to do all those days. On the other hand, her brothers were always out with their friend group and were leaving her all alone almost daily.

“Jimin?” Taehyung poked his head into Nefeli’s room. Jungkook followed close behind “What’s taking so long? Namjoon and Yoongi are already complaining in the group chat”

“I’m just explaining that Neffie can’t come with us this time” Jimin patted your head again. Ugh, so annoying.

“That’s right. And we need to go. Now! Bye bunny!” Jungkook was bouncing on his heels impatiently. The bunny-toothed boy was ready to run a marathon in order to leave the house as soon as possible.

“Right! Bye, sissy!” Taehyung blew a kiss to the young girl and rushed out of the room to race their youngest brother.

“Hey! Wait for me! Be good, kiddo!” Jimin squeaked and followed the two.

This whole time, Nefeli didn’t say a single word. She was just staring at her brothers madly with the same upset expression on her face. She was burning in anger, and at the same time dying from boredom.

“Ugh! Fuck you, assholes!” she cried in a moment of burst and threw her pillow at the door where they left.

She thought they had left when she cried like that. But loud gasping, coming from downstairs, proved her wrong. Uh-oh. They were still there! Indistinct chatter and fast footsteps were coming toward her, increasing her heartbeat.

The Kim house had three rules for the underage siblings.

No drinking. No smoking. No cursing.

And the only current underage sibling right now was Nefeli. And she had just broken one rule.

Nefeli gulped. The last time she broke a rule and got drunk at a party, she was made to do everyone’s chores for five whole weeks. And they were a lot.

“Did I just hear a no-no word?” Taehyung’s voice echoed throughout the whole house moments before the Kim brothers entered Nefeli’s room. Jimin though tripped a little onto Pete, Nefeli’s stuffed black cat.

The young girl giggled nervously “Uh, would it save me if I said no?”

“No, it would make you a liar” the youngest brother chuckled and folded his arms over his chest, exactly like his little sister did some minutes before.

“Which is strike 3” Jimin picked up Pete and placed him on the desk next to the door.

“Three?! That’s two!” Nefeli cried softly.

“Aha! So you admit you broke one rule!” Taehyung grinned widely and pointed at his little sister proudly.

“No!”

“Strike 3”

“No! It’s 2!”

“Did you curse some moments ago?”

“No!”

“Now that’s strike 3”

“Which means punishment” Jimin smirked widely.

Nefeli groaned inside her and gave out her best puppy eyes “Please no more chores! My back still hurts from last time!” she mumbled as cutely as she could.

But it didn’t work.

The three lads looked at each other with mischievous smirks on their faces “Well, who talked about chores?” Jungkook cracked his knuckles alarmingly, which only made Nefeli flinch. She knew perfectly well that they would never hurt her, but yet, this cracking was a signal something was gonna happen.

Nefeli tilted her head confused. That was the usual punishment. That or not going out with her friends. Or sometimes both depending on what she did. But now, the only option was chores.

“Well Neffie, do you perhaps remember what your favorite punishment as a kid was?” Jimin’s smirk got wider as they all started approaching and encircling the bed.

Nefeli shook her head no. How was she supposed to remember something from 10 years ago?

“Let us remind you then”

“Get her!” Taehyung squeaked and pounced on Nefeli, as well as Jimin and Jungkook.

In a matter of seconds, the young girl was pinned on her bed with her arms above her head and Jimin sitting on them. Jungkook had sat on her ankles and pulled her toes behind as Taehyung was also sitting on her thighs.

Nefeli kept wiggling around the whole time with an obviously confused yet irritated face “What are you doing? Lemme go- Agh hehehey!” she let out a sudden, mini giggle and Jungkook trailed once his finger down her sole fastly.

“We’re just going back some years when you were still a toddler” Jimin smirked and fluttered his fingers in the crooks of Nefeli’s neck. The poor girl hadn’t seen this coming. She scrunched up her shoulders and squealed again, trying to hide her wide, giggly smile.

“And giving you a proper punishment” Taehyung smirked at the giggly state of his little sister with just a few strokes “And looks like it’s already working” he softly chuckled as his fingertips were already poking and pinching gently all over her bare tummy. Nefeli’s shirt had raised a little from the stretch of her body, allowing the evil lad to have access to her bare tickle spots.

The three lads were wearing their best, most evil smirks, and their intentions were even eviler. Take advantage of their little sister’s ticklishness and also cheer her up a little. But mostly take advantage of their little sister’s ticklishness.

“Stohohop it! It tickles!” the youngest Kim sibling squealed between her giggles and soft squirms.

“Wehell, that’s kinda the point, bunny!” Jungkook rolled his eyes chuckling and now full-on scribbling the poor girl’s soles with his blunt nails.

And as if this was the signal, the two older brothers followed with their personal tickle attack.

“NYAHAHAHAHA PLEAHAHAHASE WAHAHAHAIT! WHAHAT IS THAHAHAT AHAHAHA?!” Nefeli shrieked at the top of her lungs from the sudden feeling of hypersensitivity before she fell into loud and deep belly laughter.

Oh, she knew perfectly well what this was. It was indeed her favorite when she was little. Tickle monsters! They were paying her a visit almost every day. Sometimes even twice a day!

“Welcome to the tickle jail, little ticklish brat!” Taehyung smirked before he blew a short raspberry onto Nefeli’s poor bare tummy. Only to get back an even louder scream.

“Your only chance to get out is you apologize to us! Or else you’ll be a prisoner for the rest of your life!” Jimin smirked from above her. His thumbs were drilling all over her armpits, getting every single ticklish nerve on them.

Anyone else would be now begging for mercy. But this wasn’t anyone else. This was Nefeli. The most stubborn among the Kim siblings. Even more than Jungkook. Apologizing wasn’t in her near future plans.

“NEVEHEHEHER AHAHAHA!” she argued screamingly. But she immediately regretted it.

Jungkook’s nails moved to the base of her toes and Taehyung’s pokes turned into fast, merciless squeezes all over her tummy and sides.

“Alright then, suit yourself, cutie” the middle brother chuckled as his long, slim fingers were sending shots of ticklishness all over Nefeli’s body.

“NAHAHAHAO STAHAHAHAOP I DIDN’T MEAHAHAN TO CURSE!” the poor girl could only lay there and take it. She was thrashing around and trying to pull her arms down to protect at least one tickled stop, but nothing was working. Too ticklish for her own good looks like it.

“Still not the answer we are looking for” Jungkook’s voice was ringing into Nefeli’s ears as a threat. But she couldn’t filter them properly. Jungkook was torturing her poor feet and was driving crazy with each soft but hypersensitive stroke.

“Aw, looks like someone loves big brothers’ tickles” Jimin used his best baby voice to make the small blush on his little sister’s cheeks even deeper.

The poor girl indeed loved it. Ever since she was a little kid, she loved it. But she couldn’t reveal that. So she only kept laughing stubbornly and didn’t say a thing.

“Mmm still not talking huh?” the three brothers exchanged looks of mischief “Well, I guess it’s time for Taehyung to do what he’s best at” Jungkook exclaimed happier than ever and he and Jimin pulled away.

Nefeli wanted to tilt her head confused, but panting and air giggling wouldn’t let her. She was just lying there panting and giggling “Whahat are you gonna dohoho to me?” she asked with a wide smile on her face from all the cackling.

“Oh don’t tell me you don’t remember mr Jaws, cutie” Taehyung smirked as he was getting into position. He laid on top of his little sister, with his mouth facing her poor sides.

Oh, that really hit a bell. A serious bell. A bell that had as a background hysterical laughter, begging, and tears of laughter.

“EEK! NO NO NO OKAHAHAY OKAY I’M SORRY!!” she squealed loudly in hope they’ll show some mercy. After all, this was what they wanted her to do. Say sorry.

The three brothers froze in their tracks.

“Well, she apologized” Jungkook looked at his older brothers.

“I guess we should let her go” Jimin pressed his lips into a thin line.

But still, no one moved. They just kept looking at each other in mock confusion “Nah” they finally said all together laughing, and pinned the poor girl down again.

Jimin and Jungkook started mumbling The Jaws theme song and Nefeli’s face was getting redder and redder “No... No no no pleahahase no! I apologized, you’re not being fair guys you are- BWAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAO AHAHAHA PLEAHAHAHASE STAHAHAHAP!” Nefeli let out the loudest scream so far when Taehyung teeth suddenly touched her poor, bare side and started nibbling on it mercilessly “PLEAHAHASE I’M BEGGING YOU AHAHAHA!”

“Ah! Works every time” Jungkook smirked proudly and squeezed a little Nefeli’s kneecaps, earning a loud yelp from her.

“We should do this more often!” Jimin giggled amused as he was trying to hold Nefeli in place. But it was like he was on a rodeo, the little girl was thrashing around like a fish out of the water!

“Nom nom nom! You’re still as tasty as I remember, little cute” Taehyung chuckled proudly on his little sister’s side, earning a mini jump from her.

“NAHAHAHAO!!!! PLEAHAHAHASE YOU’RE KILLING MEHEHE TAE PLEAHAHAHASE HAVE MERCYHYHYHY I’M SOHOHORRY!” Nefeli cried one last time before the three lads decided to have some mercy on her.

Pulling away, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook got away from their little sister with proud grins on their faces “You’re ahahall meahahan!” she breathed out giggling, and immediately curled up into a tight ball of herself.

“Watch it, kiddo, we are still down for a round 2 if you still haven’t learned your lesson” Jimin warned playfully wiggling his fingers towards Nefeli, who only squealed and curled up tighter.

“Nohoho! Leahahave me alone, they’re waiting for you!” the poor girl giggled out. She now didn’t want them around her, who knows what they’ll decide to do.

“Alright, it’s time to go”

All three brothers took turns kissing Nefeli’s cheek goodbye “Bye Neffie!” they all yelled before they rushed out of the room, leaving the poor girl behind all flustered and shy.

“They are assholes after all” she mumbled with a wide smile on her face. She had missed all that, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Her favorite tickle monsters were always there. 

[hellsbellschime]

So I'm really at the end of my rope, bitching and moaning under the cut

So for those of you who haven't been around since the stone age or just aren't in the know, my mom is bipolar. Her doctors in their infinite wisdom decided to test taking her off lithium, and shock of all shockers she is now manic as fuck. Like I just got an email from my landlords threatening possible eviction if her erratic behavior doesn't stop even though we haven't even been here for six months level manic.

So, given that she's literally mentally ill and is a selfish, manipulative, uncaring asshole even when she's medicated, she took my brand new car (it literally doesn't even have 1k miles on it yet) probably like 17 hours ago at this point (I have a time-stamped DM about it from like 13 hours ago), did something to damage it enough to need one of the tires replaced (and she says it's fine but somehow doubting it) EARLY YESTERDAY AFTERNOON and she still hasn't come home. I have called repeatedly, she has occasionally answered, and even giving her the biggest benefit of the doubt in the world it should have taken her about 20 minutes to get home when I called two hours ago.

Honestly my level of stress is just unreal, not only has she managed to abscond with and fuck up the most valuable thing I have ever owned in my life that is brand new and was a pretty huge thing for me to even get in the first place, but as you can imagine, this is not my first rodeo so the childhood trauma triggering is A LOT. And I just can't help but hate myself for not disengaging from this mess, deadass I moved to California as soon as I graduated from college specifically so this would not have to be my life anymore, and now here I am going through this same shit years later and never fully being able to enjoy my life and accomplishments because I have to wrangle a literal crazy person who has no one else.

It just sucks, I never asked for this, and unsurprisingly every other person in her life has tapped out over the years because it's too much and she's just too unkind for anyone to power through it for her so-called good times. She has said many times that she would have literally died at some point if it weren't for me, and while I obviously don't want her dead, that is an ENORMOUS amount of responsibility that I never asked for, and it is a responsibility that has drained a lot of good out of my life. I know everyone has to deal with shit, but having to deal with a mentally ill person who just takes and takes and takes and will tell you you're an asshole every time you try to genuinely help them just completely sucks the life out of you. At this point I wish she would just go off and live her dream crackhead life and leave me out of it, FFS we've been living in our new apartment for 5 months and she hasn't given me rent money once so at least I know I can do it on my own if necessary, and I'm just so fucking SPENT. For god's sake, I just called her again in the process of writing this damn post and she started yelling at me as if I'M the asshole in this scenario.

I just want to sit and cry and have the biggest pity party in the world and more than that I JUST WANT THIS FUCKING SHIT TO END and I want to feel like I can have a full life rather than trying to play cleanup crew for a person who treats me this way. I never dislike myself more than I do when I'm around her, and I hate that pity for someone who is frankly a complete asshole even on the best day has kept me trapped in a situation where I always feel like I'm my worst, saddest, meanest self. I'm just so fucking over it and don't want the responsibility of holding someone's life together when it feels like all I've done and dealt with since I was a kid. So all of you mfers better send all of your pity feels my way because literally no one on planet earth has a more difficult life than I do!

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi-

Sorry if this has been discussed previously. I am curious do you think the fans that hate Lestat and think he is racist are going to fight tooth and nail and argue with everyone for the couples to be rewritten? Basically are they going to hate watch and continue to act like Louis is a child and victim and Lestat is the worst character on earth?

As a black viewer I still can't figure out why some people think that Jacob, a black man would accept and praise a show where his character was in love with a racist. I mean who does that? Or if Sam was a racist, why would Jacob ever develop and gush over his deep friendship and love with Sam? That would be absurd.

Jacob is definitely aware of social media from his days on GOT. So I could never see him on any level being cool with being seen as a simp to a racist white male character. And any fan of Jacob should feel the same way. Sorry for the rant but this narrative has been getting on my nerves since episode 5.

Hey!

(No need to apologize)

IDK, there's some people who use this word a lot to silence criticism, and who "throw it around" like candy, as if it were nothing tbh. I find that sufficiently disturbing, because by doing so they are watering it down, and it really shouldn't be.

Personally I think Jacob is very aware of it all, and the show and cast is, too. Jacob even pointed out at a panel that he is living a version of Louis' life every day ffs. And he also said that they were aware of the backlash, and that they weren't giving it more attention on purpose.

They are aware.

This show dares to put its finger into wounds. They might not always do so perfectly, but the fact that they do it is so important imho. And of course that has been discussed at length with them all, and of course Jacob, who said he felt "seen" by the script and by this part, would not return, nor have this close-knit relationship to Sam (i.e.) if... this accusation would hold.

To return to your initial question - I think the fans thinking Lestat is actually racist are in for a ride. They might hate watch, totally possible. But they are missing the layers of the show - and, ironically, willfully so, just as Lestat is ignoring Louis' racial issues willfully at times (because, as a white man, he can - and he has not yet learned to see them, at least in the beginning).

So yeah, I fully expect them to continue to hate on him, and a big part of them won't like what's to come, and will feel betrayed.

As per the victim thing... and the statement of Louis "never being an unbelievable victim" (iirc) - well, the show never said to whom. I'm afraid they're in for a ride there as well, and there, again, they will feel betrayed. Unfortunately.

The relationships in the books won't get rewritten. I'm not sure how that should even be possible (see my lengthy rant yesterday^^, but also it has been said that Loustat will stay the basis of it all).

I'm looking forward to the show shifting to the European version of it all btw. Months ago, the IWTV writers shared their inspiration / research so I think they will do some ... interesting statements there as well. Put their fingers into other wounds. And Dubai as the place for the shows Trinity Gate (I think) is not a coincidence either.

So yeah. I don't quite get where these people are coming from either^^. Because this show... these people... are quite aware.

[stormxpadme]

AO3 has been kicking me out for around 10mins bcs of pages loading too slow on wifi and data both so it wont let me post a comment on ch 7 (i think) SO HERE IT IS i will not go to sleep till i send it to you PUBLICALLY ! (gonna also paste it into ao3 tmrw but i need to send it now and then pass out for at least 3 more hrs xD):

REMYYYYYY AAAA i literally firgot everything i was gonna say when i figured out its gambjt j'fucking adoreeeee 🥰🥰🥰

one bad mutant for eric one food mutant fir charles. theyre just playing chess at this point. assholes. also with the like killing and mystiques comment abt another talk between erik and charles i had a thiught there... hmmmm.... i wish i rmbrd what kt was. OH YEAH. it hink i said this a while ago somewhere that its like. Its a draw, and impasse, and until either one of them crossed any of the arbitrary lines they drew in the sand nothing will change

Also scott is a dumbass and katja is so extremely like. Idealistic. I love that for her bcs she still has enthusiasm amd has that righteous anger that comes off as either annoying or hopeful to someone whos been fighting a war for so long such as scott. And i love that part of the convo where scott is like we cant save the whole world. It made me think of schindlers list and that quite - the man who saves a life has saved a world entire. Which is ironic given that its eriks goons doing this, which AGAIN brings me to erkis hypocrisy this time and like. Him and charles are just two sides of a same coin arent they?

The encounter with that girl yesterday had left him more confused than he had experienced in years. - side eyeing you for this 👀🤨😤😹❤️

With this weapon, we can turn all of New York into mutants in a few days and all of humanity in six months - oh i rmbrd now! (I cooy some quites to clipboard not to forget to comment on them xd) - what i wanted to say here is that i have all the love and none of the respect for cartoonish villain plans ised to attract the attention of your ex boyfriend xD "imma turn the whole new york into SHARKS and i'll be the SHARK MASTER" like dude chill ffs just text him its okay its cool xD.

❤️

It sent, actually! But yeah, everything's lagging there right now including my answers to you and I'm getting unnerved bc AO3 GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. So I will answer here :D And then I will send you to bed BECAUSE REASONS.

And hey, there's a definite advantage to posting here: You can include visuals :D.

I needed my red eyed Cajun baby in there :D. I mean obviously, since the team is what it's like in the 90s cartoon plus one additional weather-witch, but also because Remy is too fucking cute (and Taylor Kitsch was too fucking hot playing him).

Yeep, exactly. Charles and Erik love each other far too much still for their own good. This whole thing would long have been over with everyone dead if they didn't hold their respective people back. With how it's going, there's just more and more collateral damage on the way, and those two still will just fuck it out and cry on each other's shoulder in the end, and they deserve all the shade thrown at them for it.

Uuugh now I get emotional about Schindler's list again, never managed to rewatch that, it broke me so much the first time already. I think it's really the hardest part about this job? Getting to terms that you can't be everywhere at once and that making as much of a difference as you can is what counts and not saving everyone because that simply won't work. And my girl is still at the beginning of learning that sigh. It's really chilling seeing Erik walk around killing off random people in this franchise just because they're normal people bc like. This is what happens when someone's been on the receiving end of this and then gets the power to turn the tables on the fascist assholes. The moral dilemma of the whole thing ugh.

Oh god, I'm so sorry for this storyline already LOL. Poor Ororo really needs better taste in men …

thanks, now I can never take that plan seriously again LOOOL. I mean, when Erik finally gets up to get this plan up and started, Charles will indeed be there in person, so I guess in the end the plan worked? :D

[siravalondulac]

xiv. maiden to be saved

meet me in the dark, kiss me in the moonlight

asoiaf ff | jon snow x fem!oc

summary: jon grapples with his choices, and gets a visit word count: 1425 warnings: none

masterlist

previous | next

Jon awoke feeling just as terrible as he had for the past five days. He did not want to get up. He wanted to wallow in self-pity, mourning every bad decision he had made in this past month. And there were many.

But eventually, he did get up.

Mormont knew something was wrong with him, but Jon had quickly explained it away by pointing to the wight and his father. That also did the trick with his friends.

Throughout the day he went over the list he had made in his mind to remind himself where he was standing.

One, Elle was a princess.

Two, Jon was in love with said princess.

And three, he could never be with her. So he best learn to live with that.

That evening he wanted to prepare himself for bed, when a knock sounded from the door. He quickly put his tunic back on and went to open it.

His breath hitched. Across from him stood Elle, with her usual braid, a nervous smile on her lips.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey.” Jon opened his mouth, wanting to say something else, but he didn’t know what.

“I wanted to apologise for what happened a couple of nights ago.” Elle didn’t look him in the eyes. “What I did was completely unacceptable and I hope you can forgive me for it.”

But I don’t want to.

“Of course. But only if you can forgive me as well.”

“You know I do.”

They stood across each other in uncomfortable silence, neither of them knowing what to say.

“Would you-” Jon started. He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Would you like to come in? I know my rooms are not the best, but we can talk inside better than here.”

A myriad of emotions crossed Elle's face. Jon almost thought she was going to refuse when-

“I would love to.”

He stepped to the side, allowing her to enter.

Ghost was on her in an instance, rubbing against her legs and letting his head be petted by her hand. She smiled softly, and Jon wished she would direct it at him some day.

He should truly stop thinking about her.

Elle sat down on the window sill, the direwolf rolling up at her feet. Jon took a deep breath and joined her.

Their gazes met for a moment before she averted her eyes and instead stared outside, at the clear night sky. He wanted to look away as well, but he couldn't bring himself to.

“How is your hand?” she asked quietly.

He looked down at the bandages.

“It's getting better, but it still hurts.” His fingers stretched instinctively. “I’m afraid I'll never be able to properly use it again.”

“If you feel something, even pain, that means it is healing. Give it a little time.”

She played around with her necklace, pushing the pendant around on the chain, pulling it down, letting it run through her fingers. If she did this every time she was alone, he wasn't surprised the chain had broken.

“You never told me where you got it from.”

Elle stopped, and looked at him. He almost regretted asking her, readying himself to apologise to her, when she answered.

“My mother gave it to me. After my sister's birth she had one made for each of us.” She looked down, furrowing her eyebrows. “I am not sure she even has hers anymore.”

Of course. Of course it was her mother's. What else could mean so much to her?

“I am sure she has it, even if she may not wear it. If it is the thing that connects you to her, it must be the same the other way around.”

The mention of Queen Cersei must have brought up an idea in her head, because the way she tapped her fingers against the pendant made it look like she wanted to tell him something. Perhaps argue against his assumption. She must know her mother better than him, even if-

“Jon?” she said quietly. “May I ask you something?”

“Of course. Anything.” He wondered what suddenly had her so demure that she couldn’t even look him in the face.

“A few moons back, Benjen left Castle Black to go south on his brother’s - your father’s - invitation. He said the King was coming to Winterfell.”

Oh. He knew what she was going to ask even before she opened her mouth.

“Did you see my family?” she whispered.

“Aye, I did.”

“What- How were they?”

How were the people who had imprisoned his father and were likely attempting to destroy his entire house?

“They looked well.” He tried to smile as encouragingly as possible. “They were all there - your parents, your siblings, and your uncles. I did not spend time with them, but from what I gathered they were doing good.”

She nodded.

“Robb told me a bit about your siblings,” he continued. “Myrcella and Tommen are sweet children, he said. Very different from… from what would be expected of royalty.”

Very different from their cruel brother and their lecherous father.

“Joffrey is the same age as my sister, Sansa. I heard talks of a betrothal.”

“Of course.” She laughed silently. “Things never change in the south.”

He hadn't thought about it this way. If Elle had stayed the North would have gotten a princess - now, as if in punishment, they would have to give up one of their own. Send her south, the place Starks went to die.

Jon never truly cared much for Sansa, but he didn't want her in the claws of House Lannister either.

“I suppose you were never betrothed?” Her voice had a strange undertone, almost as if she was… jealous.

“Bastards don’t get that luxury.” If it even was one. “And I doubt anyone would want to marry me.”

“I know that is not true.” Her smile was unreadable. “A beautiful and honourable man like you… There are many ladies who would fall head over heels to be with someone like that.”

Beautiful. She had called him beautiful.

Perhaps there was a chance, even the slightest, that she…

Even if - they could never be more than friends. He had taken care of that quite thoroughly.

“Not as much as with you,” he finally brought out. “A princess of the realm is the kind of person many would go to war for.”

She frowned. “No one cares about me that much.”

“Why would you think that?”

Sadness lay in her eyes, as well as a story she refused to tell him. Despite everything, there was one crucial detail about her life she didn't share, and he had no idea as to why. What was it that had her so traumatised he wasn't allowed to know about it?

He needed to change the subject, if he wanted to keep her with him for a while longer.

“Would you go back to them? If you could, I mean.”

She hesitated, and Jon cursed himself for not asking something lighter. Her favourite colour perhaps, or what place in Westeros she longed to see.

“Maybe,” she answered quietly, her gaze a thousand miles away. “Someday.” Then she looked at him. “Would you?”

“In a heartbeat.” He let his fingers graze over the cold stone. “But if I did, my brother would have to kill me.”

When did Robb become Lord of Winterfell in his mind? His father wasn’t dead, just imprisoned; he was still the one having to enact justice in the North.

They fell into uncomfortable silence again, both having to grapple with the choices that led them to this place.

“I should return to my chambers,” Elle finally said. He nodded in response.

She got off the window sill, kneeling beside Ghost for a moment.

Jon watched her pet his wolf, both of them looking so comfortable around each other, and unwillingly, fantasies came to him. Of a different life, where he had been made heir to Winterfell and married the princess. She would have never run away if she had been betrothed to him.

What a stupid thought.

Elle stood up, pausing before him for a moment.

“I am glad you are my friend.”

He smiled, trying to hide the pain. “Aye, me too.”

His gaze did not follow her as she left his room. Instead, he had his eyes trained on the almost full moon, wishing above all he could hold Elle in his arms at least once before his death. But he knew that would never come to pass.

previous | next

author's note: only one chapter left :(

[stahfakz]

My Fu$ked up life 26/2/24

Sooo, going back Christmas 2023, I get a call from my mum, except it's my older sister, calling from mums phone saying mums in the hospital and wanted me to pick up her partner, so that they could fuck off for the four days.

Bear in mind, I haven't had a holiday from work since b4 dad passed, over 2 years, and I was really needing 4 days off work to chill out. I didn't get it, I ended up with mum at the hospital everyday, and I ended up having burnout at work about a month later, and had to get senior manager approval to take off 2 days stress leave. But I digress.

Anyway apparently mum started her bs to Caz and caz told kez her partner who told her to take mum to the hospital because Caz a 53 yr old woman, is unable to make decisions on her own.

What they didn't tell me was that they were heading out, and wanted me to take care of mum without asking what my plans were or anything. I was dropping my own kid off at the airport that day. Ugh anyway. So I'm at the hospital, and the drs are telling me they think shes got a UTI or whatever, and awaiting some blood tests, but apparently when they dropped mum off, she was spouting her bs and it;s like FFS, Caz had fucked off and left me to deal with it. Stayed at the hospital for HOURrrrrsss with mum, but no results, I went home after 9pm I was so tired. I go back tot the hospital the next day, they've moved her out of the emergency ward and into a private room, they're still monitoring her, and they've sent the mental health care team to assess her, but cos mums religious, they can't do anything, cos it's 'god' talking to her or whatever.

Anyway, I ended up talking to Brocks mum about the sitcho, cos I know shes worked in aged care. She was really helpful, advised me on how to get aged care assessment done, etc, etc, as the drs would not allow mum to leave just yet.

I called Caz after talking to Brocks mum, and Caz had no fucken clue how to approach the situation, and I wondered why the fuck I even called her, and getting frustrated that she wasn't taking responsibility for her shitty decisions and fucking off, leaving me to deal with her drama so she can have time off work, cos she doesnt have kids, and the last time she had a holiday was 3 months ago, and wow thats so terrible for working for so long without a break.

The next day, the social worker visits mum and gets an aged care assessment referral for mum, and caz is back from her holiday. Because she wasn't around, all the referrals had my contact details, so when the next day, they finally let her out, I got several calls the following days about it all.

Mum missed her aged care assessment appointment, apparently they couldnt make it and had to re-schedule when they called her, but she hasn't heard back since.

I've set it up so that she gets groceries delivered, and sometimes Id go over and clean her house, I took her mower to be fixed, and brock mows her yard sometimes. Anyway, fast forward to today, on my last week of holidays. I pop over last week with milk, cos they didnt have any in her order last time, than I said I'd pop over on monday and pay her bills, etc. So I come over in the morning, wash and hang out her sheets, vacuum the floors, tidy up and mop her floors. Then I suggest she needs new sheets and towels and things, cos she can't see how moldy they are and they need to be thrown out, so i go to Capa and get her a bunch of new stuff all clean, come back and then tell her that she needs to call the aged care people, cos moving forward, I simply won't have the time with work, my own house work, my kid is in their senior years of high school and needs extra support for studies, and driving lessons, etc. Mum says, like always, that shes not going to worry about it, and I'm getting pretty stressed about it, cos she needs someone to clean her house, since Caz never does and I will not haven any more time, I told her I won't be able to come over again for months.

Anyway, I get so stressed, that I go to set this shit up on my laptop, but I can't she has to call them. So I tell her you have to call them now. And she screams at me saying no. So I said whatever and left. Just her yelling at me like that made me realise how fucked my life is. Doesn't matter that she fucking kept me away from dad and the rest of my family for years, I was never allowed to do anything as a kid, watch anything, have boyfriends or do anything, constantly abused psychologically and it's like fuck. Why the fuck do I bother to help my family anymore, who clearly give zero fucks about me.

Like, get a text from my older brother on my birthday saying hey hbd I have no idea where youre living or what you're doing. And its like, bro really? Are you that fucking stupid that you cant remember that I've been living at the same place for 5 years, working at the same place for 6 years.

I'm just over it. Everyone can go fuck themselves.

Fuck me right

[silberwalkure-blog]

This was my day today. I swear if I have another like it, I'm moving somewhere unknown and changing my name.

I’ve received at least 4 calls from Mum’s healthcare workers that she isn’t answering her calls. I explained her address and the only way to get a hold of her is by her cellphone. I also explained that whenever I try calling her she does answer. So I called the police to do a wellness check

I just got the phone with the constable informing him the last I call I received was about 3 weeks ago when she asked about mail coming from the Gov’t. Because whenever I call, she either doesn’t have on her phone off or doesn’t answer it and can’t make it in her place because one of the kids are sick (no, not C-19) and wouldn’t be allowed in her building. He understood and will call me with an update.

Them I received an update from HPD on Mum:

The constable was able to speak with a care worker that knows Mum (visiting another client) and said that she had went out with friends. He reassured me that going over to check was not a problem and to expect a call from this particular care worker (she was there when he made the call to me).

The care worker calls me no sooner after to cop and I explained that there were a series of calls from a panic workers. She apologized and mentioned she would be talking with Mum, when I asked if she could please let her workers know if she wouldn’t need them. It would save a lot of headache

Now after all this I have a splitting headache. ffs.

I really wish this woman would turn on her damn phone. I received another 6 calls asking if I heard from her, because she's not answering.

What's the point of having a cellphone if it's never used. And before anyone makes the remark that I should pay for a landline (for her). I've done that when she lived in my old house and the bill was something else, not to mention whenever she'd use the phone she became toxic that I nearly lost my phone (ever try to explain to a utility company that the person in question'knows better than others' - I had one Bell rep give me condolences on my sanity).

....and just when I thought I could have a normal (what's left of my) life. Boy, was I wrong.

Here's the thing, I haven’t really spoken to her since we moved. I moved her into a motel for the month of August & September (her new wasn't ready until October 1st), since we needed to fix the house and again on Christmas Day. I tried a few times to tell her about mail, but she never answered her phone. She did call me a few weeks ago asking about some mail coming from the gov’t. Other than that I literally cut ties with her.

If it wasn’t for this care worker panicking requesting I call the police for a wellness check, I wouldn’t be bothered. Sounds cruel, but my mother is a narcissist who comes across as some sweet little old lady to a person's face, but once they're out of sight becomes a very toxic person.

[zoeykallus]

Crosshair – My Beloved Enemy 5 – Rebel Darling

Crosshair x Female!Reader (FF)

Warning: SMUT 18+ /Minors DNI/ NSFW

SMUT 18+/ Orgasm Denial/ Dom-Sub/Dom Crosshair/ Cunnilingus/ Vaginal Fingering/ PiV Sex/ Slight Praise Kink/ Overstimulation/ Multiple Orgasm/ Dubious Consent/ Bondage _____ Author's Comment: Damn, this chapter took me longer than expected. I actually had some free time the last two days and I was just writing this thing for what feels like 48 hours. I wanted to get the Crosshair Smut scene just right, Crosshair style if you will. I wrote it, erased it, wrote it again and erased it... and then wrote it again saldkjbfhskjfdk. I'm still not content with what I did. It feels different from what I usually do, but Crosshair is different too, right? Well, at the end I've gotten carried away at the smut scene so, there is a lot of it in this one. Have fun! _____

What Happened Before:

Part 1 - Crash Landing

Part 2 - Hot And Cold

Part 3 - Hello Kitten

Part 4 - Look Who’s Back

Part 5 - Rebel Darling

Your shuttle was simple, it had no weapons but was a pure personnel transport shuttle, you had a real sleeping area with a bed and not just a bunk. You had your own refresher and even a small kitchen.

A little nervously you showed Crosshair around. You knew you were alone with him now, sooner or later you would get close, you felt it tingling under your skin. It was exciting but also a little intimidating.

You thought about Tech's reaction for a moment, and you felt a little sorry for him. But he had his chance, your night together had been almost six months ago and since then he had either avoided you or treated you purely as a friend. He hadn't responded to your advances, now he had to live with the consequences. You didn't want to wait forever for him and if you were honest you felt much more attracted to Crosshair anyway, even if you didn't think you would see him again until recently.

When you had shown him everything, you finally sat on your bed at some point. Crosshair had already taken off parts of his armor to make himself more comfortable.

"The bed smells like you" he said and smelled unabashedly at your pillow "Smells like your perfume and your shampoo".

A little unsure you looked at him "Sorry. I can make the bed fresh if you want"

He laughed, "No, no, I like it, it smells good"

"Are you going to stay with us now?" you asked quietly.

Crosshair looked up from your pillow to you.

"For now, yeah. Depends on if the boys can get used to me again. As you know, we didn't exactly part peacefully."

You nodded slowly and said, "I'm sure Wrecker will be happy. Echo won't be a real problem either."

He smiled knowingly, "But Tech will probably be on the fence. Did you see his face earlier? He's jealous as hell."

You shrugged and said, "Yeah, maybe so. But he doesn't really have a right to be jealous or to choose who I spend my time with, that ship has sailed".

Hunter looked up when he heard Tech coming back from the cockpit. He stopped next to Hunter's bunk. The sergeant sensed his brother's unease all too clearly.

"You want to talk about it now, after all?" asked Hunter quietly.

Tech snorted, "Why do we just take him right back. He's almost killed us all several times. It is not really sure at all if that was because of the chip. How can you trust him again right away?"

Hunter sighed and sat up in his bunk.

"Tech, I know you're right and we have to be careful. Right now, though, you're only so hostile towards him because you have feelings for Y/N"

Tech nervously stepped from one foot to the other and said, "In part, yes, that may be, but that still doesn't change the facts. We don't know if we can really trust him"

Hunter nodded slowly and said quietly, "I know. Rest assured, I will remain vigilant about Crosshair."

After a pause he asked, "Why didn't you ever tell her, it's been almost half a year since your night together and she kept trying to talk to you. As sorry as I am that you are so upset now because she is in her shuttle with Corsshair- it's your own fault."

Tech sat down on his own bunk across from Hunter and slumped his shoulders.

"I know. It was a wonderful night and I had never felt so alive and happy before."

Hunter looked at him questioningly, "Then all the more reason I don't understand how you handled the situation"

Tech lowered his eyes and stared at his hands resting on his thighs.

"I was... overwhelmed. What I felt was not logical and could not be logically explained, it was so intense that it.... scared me. I just wanted to be with her to spend my time with her, I thought about her day and night, I still do. But when, out of sheer cowardice, I suggested we keep it a professional relationship and she agreed to it, something inside me broke and I just wanted to escape."

Hunter looked at his brother with concern and compassion.

"You should have asked her. She was probably just as scared as you are, that's probably why she agreed. I'm very certain she was very fond of you."

Tech snorted, "Now she's very fond of Crosshair. Crosshair of all people."

You were already naked, just like Crosshair, it had happened so fast, the clothes had fallen off within seconds. He had just looked at you, with that glint in his golden brown eyes, then he had literally thrown himself at you and you had let him, completely overwhelmed by his commanding presence.

The Sniper was half over you, kissing you fierily, and your heart was beating so fast that you were almost dizzy. His bare skin against yours was incredibly warm, the muscles beneath, firm and wonderful. Crosshair was deft, with his fingers and his lips.

Out of the corner of his eye, he seemed to have spotted something on your nightstand, a silk scarf of yours. He reached for the long piece of fabric and smiled mischievously.

"Hmm, how convenient."

The next moment he grabbed your arms, pushed them up over your head, wrapped the scarf tightly around your wrists several times, and finally tied them to the headboard of the bed. You had wanted to say something, maybe even protest, but your voice caught in your throat.

He finally looked at you with a smirk of satisfaction.

"Normally people agree on a safeword for something like this, but I don't think we need one".

Looking at him questioningly, you finally found your voice again and asked quietly, "Safeword?"

"Yes. Never heard of it?"

You shook your head.

"It's a word you agree on, when one of the people involved disagrees with something, they say the safeword and the other one stops"

You blinked nervously, your heart still beating so wildly in your chest.

Crosshair saw the uncertain expression on your face.

"You're not scared, are you?"

"No," you said a little meekly.

Testingly you moved your hands, the soft fabric was gentle on your wrists, but you definitely couldn't free yourself on your own.

Your gaze shot back to him as one of his hands moved up over your belly, slid over your breasts and stopped just above your thumping heart.

He smiled.

"Your little heart is beating wildly, Kitten. You don't have to be afraid of me.Just let yourself go, I'll make you feel good, just forget about everything else for a while," he spoke softly to you, in his deep voice.

Crosshair climbed over you, his hardening length pressed against your skin, his hands traveling up your sides to your breasts, kneading them, gently feeling the hardened buds.

A soft moan came over your lips, half swallowed by Crosshair when his lips were suddenly on yours. His kiss was demanding, urgent, dominant, you melted away under him. He broke free of the kiss and moved his lips over your chin, further down to your neck. The touch made you shiver.

"Are you afraid?" he asked quietly.

You shook your head and replied, almost whispering: „I want this... you so much, that the thought of this is already making me... shaky.“

A smirk appeared on Crosshair's lips. The answer pleased him.

Covering your collarbone with gentle kisses, he murmured, "Good girl."

He slid a little lower and his mouth wandered to the mounds of your breasts, kissing them teasingly, his lips wandering to your buds that had already erected in anticipation. When his lips closed around one of the nipples and a hand closed around the other breast, a sweet whimper came out of your mouth. He suckled at the sensitive flesh while his hand gently kneaded your other boob. He switched back and forth between your breasts, listening to the aroused sounds he elicited from you.

"Such a good girl, making such wonderful noises for me," he spoke with satisfaction, his lips wandering over your belly, further down. The further down he wandered, the faster your heart seemed to beat.

Finally his shoulders were between your thighs and his face hovered close over your pussy. You could feel his hot breath on your wet folds and felt your juices gathering.

His gaze wandered over your wet glistening womanhood and he smiled like a hungry predator.

Crosshair's hands slid gently over the insides of your thighs and he looked up at you mischievously.

"I'm curious how you taste," he cooed.

His words made you shiver again.

The fingers of his right hand moved further inward toward your pubic area. Teasingly, gently, testingly, his fingers slid through your folds. An excited sigh escaped you.

"Look at you, so wet, all because of me. I like that, Kitten."

Heat rose to your face and your ears grew hot at his words. It was exciting but you also felt a thrilling shame rising inside you. You were completely naked, he saw all of you and he liked it, an incredibly uplifting feeling.

"I will make you squirm under me and beg for my cock," he promised you in a husked voice.

His words were exciting, but also made you a little nervous. You hadn't had much experience yet and what you had done with Tech had been completely different, mainly because of the alcohol influence and because Tech was a completely different guy.

You winced under his touch as Crosshair quite suddenly flattened his tongue and licked up your pussy in one broad stroke, lingering on your pearl and making your legs tremble. He repeated the motion, taking in your taste, your intoxicating scent, everything about you that he could take in, he did - desperate for every part of this ravishing thing that was you. When he repeated the slow lick a third time, his hands gently squeezed your thighs and before you knew it, Crosshair was plunging in, licking and sucking on your clit like a starved man.

You yelped, partly from surprise, partly from pleasure, automatically your hands squirmed in their bonds, but you couldn't free them.

Your hips tilted unconsciously towards him, triggered by the pleasure you were receiving. His stubble burned a little on your sensitive skin, but somehow that only increased your arousal. The way you kept frictioning against his face, along with the perfect little whimpers and moans you let out, made Crosshiar harden quickly, his shaft swelling with desire and growing impatient. As he continued to take care of you, his hips began to grind into the mattress, needing some form of contact. Crosshair was furious with himself, normally he was in much better control, but now he felt so incredibly needy, you made him feel needy.

Your breath hitched when you saw what he was doing. The fact that he was getting hard and needy just by licking you, was flattering and exciting.

A squeek escaped your lips as he unexpectetly shoved a finger into your wet, heated entrance.

"Kitten you're pretty tight," he murmured against your pearl and the vibration almost sent you over the edge.

He raised his head and stopped for a moment, looking at you. You looked down your body at him with a pleading look.

"Please... don't stop, I'm so close," it came over your lips.

He grinned teasingly.

"I know, I felt your pussy getting tighter".

"Please, Crosshair...:"

He laughed, "I told you I'd make you beg me, didn't I".

You huffed, trying to free yourself from your restraint.

"Now now, don't do that! Be a good girl, tell me what you want, ask me for it and I'll give you what you want."

He grabbed your thighs with both hands and held them apart, holding you spread out like a buffet in front of him. Again and again he sucked your pearl, twitched his tongue through your folds, teasing, making you twitch and squirm. Brought you again and again to the edge only to let you hang and grin at you.

„Crosshair Please!“

"Please what, my sweet, little Kitten?" he asked with an amused undertone.

You could feel the heat on your face as you said, "Please let me cum."

Crosshair looked at you with a smirk.

"How do you want me to make you cum? A special wish?"

Your entire abdomen seemed to be pulsing, the tingling under your skin was almost unbearable and the throbbing of your aching pearl, craved relief so much that you almost snapped at him as you said, "I don't care just do it, please!"

He laughed: "My goodness, are you going to show your claws again? That' s all right, your paws are tied up anyway," he teased you.

He was close to going crazy himself only he could hide it much better. His hard, throbbing cock had been leaking pre cum onto the sheet beneath him for a while.

"Crosshair, I'm about to go nuts here! Please!"

His expression softened, his eyes darkened with desire as he asked you, "What exactly do you want? Tell me? If you say it, you'll get it."

"Fuck me! I need your cock...:"

His eyes got even darker and wider, he immediately crawled over you, pushing himself between your spread legs and lined his cock up at the entrance of your swollen, throbbing pussy.

"Yes, yes, please..." you breathed.

Crosshair smiled very pleased with your reaction. His tip touched your folds, parting them as he slowly advanced and plunged into your cleft. He was big and girthy, veiny. You had only caught a glimpse, but you felt him all the more clearly instead. It was quite a stretch.

He eased in, slowly, giving you time to adapt even if it was hard for him to hold back. When Crosshair was finally completely sunken into you, he paused, breathing in a controlled manner, looking at you. His lips kissed your chin, along your jaw to your ear, and finally whispered, "Oh my little, kitten, you feel amazing."

His words tingled under your skin.

"Such a good girl, taking me all in," he cooed and gently kissed your earlobe.

Your thighs trembled as you closed your legs around him and pressed against him, trying to show him that you were ready. He lifted your pelvis and pulled a pillow over to slide it under your bottom, slightly elevating you so he could get deeper inside you.

A whimper came from your throat, the feeling of him filling you completely was overwhelming.

Crosshair finally began to move inside you.

You whimpered under him and bucked your hips, desperate, wanting, with a soft cry of his name, Crosshair smiled down at you, confident and knowingly as his hips dragged backwards. The slow pull of his cock against your sensitive entrance had you whining below him as your hips chased after his, only to loudly cry out when his hips snapped forward again, startling you.

He repeated these slow drags and quick thrusts for several times until you were writhing beneath him, slurring drunken from arousel and pleading for more, much more. Little did you know that he would give you more than you asked for.

Crosshair teased you until a cry of, “Cross, Please! I beg you!”, left your lips and he finally caved, pretty desperate to give you what you wanted anyways.

Your words had him growling out your name deeply, like an animal, as his hips sped up to a steady rhythm, the sounds of him dicking you down filling the air. His grip on your waist tightened slightly as his cock pounded away and you were shocked by the fast pace he had set. Unexpected yet not unwelcome.

Quite involuntarily, your hand wanted to slip down your body to caress your pearl, but you could only struggle against the restraints with a groan.

"Let me do it," he said, as if he knew instinctively.

His hand slid down your tummy to find your clit, rubbing in tight circles that had you crying out loudly and breathlessly for more. Your hips bucked in time with his thrusts as his cock moved inside you over and over. You were so close to tipping over the edge and your eyes met his as you simpered out, “Crosshair, please I’m so close. I need you Crosshair....”

„Oh I know Kitten, I can feel, see and hear it and it's the most beautiful thing in the galaxy“, he said hoarsly.

Shifting his weight his pace slowed as his free arm slid under your body to grasp at the back of your neck and he leaned down, his chest pressing into yours as his lips caught yours in a searing kiss, making you taste yourself on his lips and tounge.

His adjusted position allowed him to press even deeper into your tight slit, brushing up against that sweet spot inside you, hitting it again and again, on each thrust. He swallowed down your cries as you tipped over the edge, your womanhood spasming and clenching around his length, his fingers at your pearl working you through the orgasm.

You wiggled below him, pressing the two of you together impossibly close, you whined into his mouth as his fingers continued toying with your clit, prolonging your pleasure. Muttering a protest against Crosshairs lips at the overstimulation your were silenced by him pulling back just enough to whisper, “It’s alright kitten, i got you. You can give me one more, I know you can do it, my good girl, my sweet little kitten.”

His words sent a heavy aftershock through your body and your walls fluttered much to Crosshairs delight as he let out a deep moan. His slow, sensual pace continued and your pussy squeezed constantly around his length as the stimulation on your little bundle of nerves got to be too much.

„Crosshair“, you moaned hoarsely „I can... I can't... too much...“

„Yes, yes you can“, he cooed „Such a good girl, be a nice little kitten, cum for me again“

Your hands clenched, struggeling against the restraints, as you attempted to smother your noises as they grew in both frequency and volume the closer you got to your second high, carried by his words.

As Crosshair slammed into you particularly hard, you couldn’t hold back the blissed out noise that slipped over your lips and your eyes rolled back into your head. Crosshair repeated the motion causing the same reaction as you lost yourself in pleasure, feeling like losing your mind.

“You like that? Want me to give it to you like this until you cum for me my rebel darling?” He questioned, continuing the same motion and increasing his speed without waiting for a response.

The word rebel had you confused for a fraction of a moment, but you couldn't focus on anything but the feeling of him inside you.

Though it was just as well since you were fairly incapable of responding to him as your eyes glazed over, feeling close to your second release. The hand that had been on your neck, placed itself over your mouth. You blinked in surprise, distracted for a moment, staring into his face.

"Listen carefully, Kitten, can you hear how wet you are for me?" he asked you, breathing heavily.

Yes indeed you could. Now that he was silent, preventing you from making sounds of pleasure, you could hear it abundantly clear, the sound of his wild thrusts in your slick pussy. His words, aswell as the obscene wet noise, spread heat in your face and ears.

As if determined to wreck you with pleasure, Crosshairs fingers sped up against your clit, rubbing furiously and causing your whole body to tighten - spiraling higher and higher until it was all too much and your body went limp. You felt a rush of liquid as you gushed around his thick cock and the obscene squelching noise that filled your bedroom as the clone fucked you through your orgasm caused an embarrassed moan to escape you, muffled by his hand.

At the feeling of your weak, swollen pussy, clenching around his cock, Crosshair thrust a few more times, until he stilled deep within you as he reached his own peak. His cum shot out in ribbons, filling you up more than you thought possible.

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