#I said she was emotionally stable not morally correct

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Also. For the 2-3 of you who care.

I will drop the complete lore-dump for my OCs featured in my OC tober challenge at the end of the month. With their backstories and setting and relationships and such. Some of it is getting dropped in the challenges (looking at you Hazel).

But I just wanted to tell ya'll this now:

Kate fully tried to kill Hazel, Zachary, and Sam when they first met. Like, no questions asked, she saw the three of them, thought Zachary was a zombie, and started shooting.

Zachary and Hazel are immortal, so they don't really hold it against her. But Sam is salty about it for a WHILE.

[btsqualityy]

Back with a heart wrenching drabble ask! So, Mama Min and her mom talking about everything. They lay everything out on the table. Maybe a teenage Kingsley and Kam could be there for moral support! 

"So you invited me here and you're not even going to talk to me?" Your mother asked and you just scoffed from your place sitting across the table from her.

"I didn't fucking invite you here," you snapped, vaguely aware of Kinsley's hand on your arm.

"Easy Mama," she murmured.

"We invited you here, Grandma," Kamryn spoke up from her place next to her grandmother. "Unnie and I just wanted you and Mama to try and work out your differences."

"Your mother doesn't seem too willing to mend our relationship," your mother muttered.

"You didn't seem too willing when you cheated on my father," you shot back.

"You're still holding that against me, all these years later?" She sighed. "Your father and I's relationship was toxic and you know that."

"But that doesn't mean that he deserved to be cheated on."

"Ok, you're right," your mother nodded. "But I deserved to have some love in my life, Y/N. I stayed with your father in order to give you a stable childhood and once I did that, I decided to go after the one thing that I had been missing out on."

"And you had to blow my life up in order to do that?" You questioned. "Do you know how it feels to basically be blamed as the reason for your unhappiness?"

"You aren't but the circumstances that resulted from me getting pregnant with you are."

"And who the fuck told you to get pregnant by a man that you had known for only a few months?" You seethed, jumping in shock when your mother slammed her hand down on the table.

"Now, that is enough," she stated darkly. "I am still your god damn mother, so act like it."

"You act like it," you retorted. "I barely fucking hear from you and you come in here wanting respect that you haven't even earned?"

"I raised you for 18 years."

"No, let's be clear: Daddy raised me," you corrected her. "You left for deployment as often as you could and were gone for literal years at a time. My father is the only reason I turned out to be a somewhat decent person and if it weren't for him, I'd be just like you. Cold, selfish, and hard-hearted."

"And just what have you done to try and warm me up?" She questioned. "You act like you hate me, the few calls and texts that I get up the courage to send go unanswered, and you pretend as though I don't even exist. You didn't even let me meet Kinsley until she was a year old."

"I had an emotionally unavailable parent but my daughters were not going to have an emotionally unavailable grandparent," you shrugged. "That's what you do when you care for your children: you protect them and not just because you're legally required to do so."

"That's it then?" Your mother wondered. "You've just written me off?"

"Mom, I love you," you sighed. "I do but the things you've done and said....it just makes me so fucking angry with you and you sit here like you're justified."

"Just like your father," she chuckled ruefully. "Holding grudges."

"Maybe so," you shrugged.

"Well," Kinsley interjected with a clap of her hands. "This has been productive."

"Not," Kamryn muttered. "Sorry for dragging you here, Grandma."

"You had good intentions sweetie," your mother assured her, reaching over and gently patting her hand. "Some things can't be fixed in a day, though."

"Or ever," you muttered petulantly.

[ramblingguy54]

Re Mabel, Lilith and Marcy getting flak— I wonder if it has to do with what seems to be a general aversion to female characters acting selfishly, especially if it has consequences. Like, I feel that's a huge part of why the live action Disney remakes fall so flat; women/girls *all* have to be "strong female character who never does anything selfish or wrong". So instead of being seen as what they are (great characters with strong arcs) Mabel, Marcy and Lilith get, as you said, demonized.

Disney remakes I'd say do contribute to the issue of how those interpret other female character depicted in a more flawed manner as simply selfish people and nothing more. However, that's simply a drop in the bucket being apart of a much larger issue of how female characters are depicted throughout stories. This isn't just a problem to be found in other Disney related material, such as their remakes portraying their iconic female leads, rather it's one rooted in shallow writing as early when the whole mantra, "Girl power!", became a an unfortunate trope some stories still utilize to this very day. Female characters aren't allowed to show weakness whatsoever. They've gotta be strong, unwavering, and perfect role models to follow, right?

See, therein lies a serious contradiction. It's not about gender whether you're male, female, or choosing to be both, depending on your lifestyle. They're all people and what do we undeniably share as a trait? Something binding us together symbolically?

Weaknesses. We’re all vulnerable, carry baggage, and even are capable of doing selfish stuff hurting people when we didn’t intend to. People follow what they believe in their convictions to be “correct” from developed ideologies. Buckets of grey, more or less.

Let me throw an example out here. Belle from Disney’s 2D animated iteration of Beauty & The Beast showed what a strong female lead can be capable of. She took none of Gaston’s shallow nonsense, was conflicted about her place in their judgmental village, and most importantly didn’t see Beast’s humanity, until being saved from the wolf pack attack. Belle was a role model who was strong, capable, and intelligent, yet didn’t rely on shallow ideas I mentioned above.

A consistent issue I’ve tend to notice is people zeroing in on a characters actions, rather than observing why they went about committing them, or simply ignoring outside forces, like other characters, playing a role in, too?

Mabel’s selfish desires caused Weirdmageddon!

Marcy’s fear of being alone got them all stranded in Amphibia!

Lilith is responsible for Eda’s pain and suffering with this curse!

Mabel being solely responsible for Weirdmageddon is a take I’ve seen people throw around leaving me absolutely puzzled by this mind set. How is it the girl’s fault when Dipper & Ford decided to keep that orb containing a dimensional rift Bill needed their little secret? Those two made a choice to keep something under wraps for their own reasons, which came back to bite them pretty damn hard. Mabel was terrified of the future, growing up, drifting away from her brother, and most importantly was scared of becoming bitter about it all. There’s a reason why Mabel stated to Dipper in A Tale Of Two Stans, “Can you promise me you won’t get stupid...?”, given it was foreshadowing her inevitable breakdown of trying to run away from these issues.

Bill Cipher took advantage of an emotionally desperate kid’s need for an uncompromising happy ending is what it all boils down to. Mabel’s only morally questionable action was not wanting to accept their reality, which Dipper had to snap her out of this self destructive behavior. Hiding away in some imaginative place doesn’t fix the problems you’ve got in front of yourself. They’ll only grow bigger. An important rule of life is allowing change to happen, but it’s equally so to remember how crucial a stable family connection is, too. Dipper leaving Mabel to struggle alone in life wouldn’t have been an ideal scenario for either of them. Something I’ve seen people seem to forget is after Dipper helps Mabel become content they think she’s getting her way, while he is giving up his dream. Yet, for some reason, people forget this small important exchange between the two.

“Hey, Dipper. I appreciate what you said back there, but, if you want to take Ford’s apprenticeship, I won’t get in your way.”

“And miss out on your awkward teen years? You wish!”

Mabel gave Dipper a third option to pursue his goals, if he genuinely wanted this dream of working underneath that author of those journals the kid was crazy about. However, Dipper saw Mabel, as well as the message of family ties, more important than anything else, even working underneath Ford. To Dipper, Mabel’s sibling bond was his greatest dream to fulfill. While Mabel may not be a character I gravitate towards, as Dipper is someone I relate to a lot more, she did experience a journey of emotional growth in learning to understand Dipper’s needs are just as important as her’s. The sock puppet episode encapsulated this idea of her developing maturity.

Marcy Wu’s entire arc in Season 2 was very interesting to see play out. There’s a defining difference in how Marcy’s a lot more independent, than she used to be when Anne watched over her at their school. While she still can be clumsy, Marcy has become very physically competent in taking on riskier situations demanding precise accuracy. Although, there’s a definite lingering fear of solitude when Anne was going to let the Plantars leave her behind in Newtopia. True Colors’ revelations completely add a new layer to it.

Knowing now Marcy didn’t want to be alone without Anne & Sasha re-contextualizes this moment of remorse from her. Sure, she’s sad to see the Plantars go too because the girl is also fond of them, much like Anne. However, another thing I’d say it’s because she didn’t want to see Anne leave, naturally. In spite of these conflicting feelings, Marcy reluctantly lets her return to Wartwood not only considering she knew they’d meet up again, but maybe it could be out of possible guilt for playing a part in manipulating Anne & Sasha into taking the Calamity Box. I wouldn’t put it past Marcy if this was part of her reasoning. After all, she was quick in trying to make amends, by saving Sprig from dropping to his death and sending Anne back home to protect her from Andrias’ wrath. Whatever thing Marcy could do to show her compassion she would gladly do.

If the theory of Marcy having a rocky relationship with her parents is confirmed in Season 3, I’m theorizing it’s more against her father than mother, it puts another weight of tragedy onto why she trusted Andrias so much with spilling her heart out to him. Marcy thought she’d finally found an adult, who wouldn’t undermine her beliefs, personality, and actions. Marcy didn’t view Andrias just as a friend, rather a father figure she felt comfortable venting her emotional issues toward. Andrias saw this kid with low self esteem issues thinking, “Yeah, she’ll be a perfect pawn to use and throw away when I get what I need.”, making Marcy Wu arguably the most tragic character in this trio of people used as a tool by a greater evil.

Marcy never intended to hurt Anne or Sasha. She only wanted to live a life free of pain, which her dream was mangled severely by Andria’s ambition for multiverse conquest. This girl was someone who wanted everything in their world. Marcy didn’t know the box would accurately work, even if she did use her friends in a highly morally wrong fashion. Although, the kid read about this box in a book, so Marcy did have an idea being somewhat aware what she was getting herself into. At least, more so than Anne & Sasha were, who thought it was a silly looking item to steal from a thrift shop.

Seeing everything fall apart for Marcy, as her friends back away from this haunting realization, is easily on my list of top crushing moments from the series. It rivals that of Sasha willing to fall to her death to save Anne’s in exchange. There’s such a poetic gut punch in bringing it full circle for Marcy. She wanted everlasting friendship, but now Marcy’s decision caused them to step away from her. In terms of lighting, I love the dramatic nuance of having a shadow cast over her. Marcy stands alone by herself to stir in emotional grief. No one there is gonna comfort Marcy, preferring to let their silence speak loudly. 

Marcy Wu desired to have her cake and eat it, too. The poor kid lost her friends, trust in Andrias, and her own life, in spite of it being temporary, trying to make amends for all this guilt. She wished so badly to have freedom to choose, only to have none at all in the end. The moral of this story is be careful what you wish for.

Lilith’s whole issue she struggles to overcome is realizing how flawed and corrupt the Emperor’s Coven is, as well as the idea of Covens’ in general. Lilith’s mentality was all about order, control, and obligation to a greater magical cause. What added depth to Lilith’s character is her connection to Eda wasn’t an obligation of some kind. She loved being there for her sister determined to do anything to undo the curse Lilith placed upon Eda in their childhood. Belos saw a prime opportunity through Lilith to use her sister as leverage, so she wouldn’t compromise that oath to the Coven for Eda’s safety. Any episode focusing screen time on their dynamic you can sense the love and respect Lilith has toward Eda, regardless of their differing views on how magic operates. She still cares for her.

The tragic twist of Lilith being responsible for Eda’s curse shows the circumstances of their sisterhood being challenged by this very world they live in. Lilith only went through with cursing Eda because of Belos’ mentality about winning by any means necessary to justify the end result. It’s exactly why Lilith wanted Eda to join her Coven to heal this curse and make her abide by the laws she believes in, killing two birds with one stone. Lilith being bitter about Eda’s skills surpassing her own for that magical competition certainly played a part.

It’s made more than evident in their climatic confrontation in Agony of a Witch. Eda calls out Lilith’s incompetence, as their exchanging blows in finding it hilariously ironic she can’t be beaten at her worst. Lilith, having enough of being criticized, spills the beans about how it was so easy to curse her. Again, Lilith was only speaking out of bitter rage when she blurted the truth. She never took an ounce of enjoyment in hurting her sister, as you can clearly see the immediate regret and hurt written across this woman’s face. This isn’t the face of someone who relishes in their sibling’s suffering. It’s the face of somebody that has made a terrible mistake. A mistake Lilith never wanted Eda to find out about wanting to sweep it under the rug. To know your sibling has placed a curse on you in the most awful fashion would anger any person in that unfortunate position.

Lilith wanted to make amends, but the damage was already done. There wasn’t a chance Eda would hear out her sister’s pleas after dropping a bombshell of this magnitude. Eda had enough of Lilith preaching about order for the greater good when she pulled a toxic double standard putting something chaotic upon her. To have a curse placed, which can transform anyone into a mindless creature, endangering everyone you care about stings all the more to know it was her sister. It wasn’t someone with an evil master plan, like Belos. This culprit was someone Eda placed her trust into, since childhood. Who’d be there to the share that pain of scraping her knee had the gull to put her through this kind of Hell. The sad truth is, Lilith didn’t want any of this to occur. That curse was only meant to last a day and Eda wouldn’t have any more problems. A worst case scenario of something minor transforming into a larger issue.

It’s a disturbing reality check for Lilith when Belos, being the clever manipulator, uses the very knowledge she valued against her in justifying petrifying Eda. This flips everything Lilith held dear in her own values upside down. What she thought was “correct” for years only badly affected their world and citizens. Belos undermining her hopes for Eda’s cure defining it all under their Titan’s will to dispose of anyone, who doesn’t follow their rules, paints a genocidal picture to what Lilith viewed through rose tinted glasses. She wasn’t supporting an individual of equality, but one of a power hungry dictatorship. Belos was going to slaughter all people or any living sentient creature that stood in his way.

While I wouldn’t call Lilith’s arc great, as Season 1 did suffer from Disney executive meddling with Dana’s vision of the series, it was certainly a good one, overall. There’s a real weight and somber symbolism to Lilith being a product of a flawed magical system. Season 2 could easily explore more of her redemption because denouncing your beliefs after holding them stubbornly to your heart isn’t an easy thing to process mentally. Lilith devoted herself to that idealism for so very long, where you don’t just move on from all that with a flick of a switch, so I’m very interested in seeing what Dana and her crew will accomplish next for Lilith’s development. They could easily very well remedy problems in pacing I had with Season 1.

To sum up this very lengthy answer of mine, please keep writing more complex female characters. Break the boundaries of stereotypes that women shouldn’t show vulnerability. It makes for a more introspective story, instead of conforming to stories following a silly status quo for women in fiction. 

[uncle-birb-owns-my-heart]

I’m gonna talk a little bit about Ozpin and Ruby

Spoilers for Volume 7

Ozpin spent many lives deciding to shield parts of the truth from everyone because he knew the world couldn’t handle the truth.

He knew that if he told everyone the truth than either they would give up in the fight (Raven) or would join the enemy (Leo)

It’s mentioned that he’s been betrayed many times, even to the point where he didn’t even seem surprised by Leo’s betrayal, and so he chooses to protect parts of the truth.

As well as this Ozpin was under no obligation to reveal his very traumatic past to a bunch of emotional teenagers! Most of his secrets revealed by Jinn were irrelevant and only showed the connection between Salem and Ozma.

Ozpin lied, and that is not okay, he omitted some very important truths and lead a bunch of kids down a path that was certainly going to get them killed, he created schools full of kids who would protect the schools but knowing that most of them would not survive a fight against Salem’s team, but despite this, he had his reasons for keeping his secrets, he did the best he could and he had the best intentions.

This is what makes him a morally grey character. His intentions were good but his actions lead to a lot of bad as well.

What Qrow said to Ruby in Volume 7, that her lying to Ironwood was different than Ozpin lying, was true! Anyone who says she’s no better than Ozpin has not been paying attention to the basic message of the last two Volumes.

Qrow has been helping Ozpin loyally for the last decade at least, we’ll assume the last 15 years, and had proven his trustworthiness in multiple occasions, so he could have been trusted with the truth.

Team RNJR risked their life to get to Mistral to help because they lost someone close to them and they wanted to defeat the person that killed her, which means for the most part their motivation wouldn’t have swayed meaning that they could have been trusted with the truth.

Yang, Blake, and Weiss had no right being upset with Oz for not disclosing the whole truth in all honesty, they hadn’t been there for long, they didn’t risk as much to get there, their motivations weren’t as stable, Yang’s mum literally deserted Ozpin after finding out the truth, it’s understandable Ozpin would be wary about telling them the truth.

But my point is, for the most part, team RNJR + Qrow were all able to be trusted and should have been.

Now we get to Atlas, and since Volume 4 they’re been building Ironwood up to be getting more and more paranoid and rash, when we get into Atlas in Volume 7 we see that he’s done so much to hurt the people of Mantle (and I suppose to an extent Atlas) that a lot of people hate him. Even RWBY+JNR+Q all mention as soon as they see that he doesn’t look well:

Yang: “General Ironwood, he looks...”

Ruby: “tired.”

Qrow: “James, what have you been doing?”

The entire situation in Atlas seems strange to the characters, and this is what makes them cautious, making them go into Mantle in the first place.

Weiss: “I’ve never seen our forces deployed so aggressively before”

Weiss: “this isn’t right. None of this is right.”

And later cemented by Pietro who says point blank:

Pietro: “The fall of Beacon took a toll on all of us, James was no different. I don’t know exactly what he saw there, but it changed him, he’s...”

Qrow: “He’s scared.”

Pietro: “Paranoid would be the more appropriate term.”

Ironwood is acting on his fears, and due to the fact he’s got not only Atlas Academy but the entire Atlas Military under his control, as well as being completely backed by the council (helped only by the fact he already holds two seats on the council) he is the most powerful right now, and for someone who was called, by his friend, paranoid, this doesn’t make for much confidence when telling him important information that could only fuel his fears even further.

Not to mention that Ruby was very quick to tell JNR about the truth, despite seeing how her own team reacted to the news, because it was important they knew.

Ozpin lying was backed by experience and paranoia, but Ruby lying is backed by an accurate assessment of the situation.

They’re doing the same basic action of lying, but their reasonings are slightly different. We don’t have enough information to say that Ruby is no better than Oz, because the issue is, she’s only lied to one person that’s meant to be on her side because she’s already seen one of the Headmasters betray Oz, and can see that James isn’t the most emotionally stable at the moment.

We can only say whether Ruby is better than Oz if we see her lying to everyone that’s helping her even after they proved their loyalty.

My point of this is, Ozpin is not a bad guy, he’s just been through a lot and is too fearful to trust anyone anymore, his actions were wrong but his intent was still good, therefore he’s morally grey.

Ruby is better than Ozpin as far as we can tell, and Qrows justification of her actions is correct.

The people who are defending Ozpin to the ends of the earth need to realise that though he had his reasons for keeping his secrets, it meant he put a bunch of young lives at risk for a war he knows he can’t win, at least not yet.

But those who are attacking Ruby need to see that she was completely justified in her actions despite us knowing that it’s not okay to lie about such important stuff because at the moment they don’t know if they can trust Ironwood.

The situation isn’t black and white, its not ‘lying is bad always tell the truth’ more ‘situational lying can be justified however should not go as far as to put others lives at risk’ it’s a learn who to trust situation because no one should just trust everyone they meet.

To summarise my points:

Ozpin: Means the best but is too paranoid to tell people, even if they’re trustworthy, the whole truth about the situation at hand. Should be forgiven but should not be heavily defended in that specific action.

Ruby: Trusts others with the truth but also has an obligation to assess the situation to make sure that those people she’s trusting actually deserve it and there isn’t much of a risk involved in disclosing the whole truth.

[atomicfilm]

The case for (maybe) being an INTP:

- Overanalyzing

- I try to establish my own opinion before engaging in conversations with others to gain their perspectives. However, I will engage in these conversations, but this is apparently a shared trait btwn the INTP/ENTP.

- I debate one person consistently, we’ll call her M, and most other people will give up when they talk to me and/or agree with me. I don’t argue with people to change their opinions, which I think is the ENTP way of doing it, I argue because I find logical fallacies in their arguments and believe they’re incorrect. Which just so happens to be all the time. I think this is why I thought I played Devil’s Advocate, and because I was thinking about 1 occurrence, but ignoring that a lot of the time I will end a debate simply because I agree with them.

- I feel uncomfortable with directly offensive jokes and offensive humor. It takes a lot of continual anger for me to generalize a group of people and write them off. 

- I like to think I’m an optimist but I’m more of a pessimist to my own dismay. I think we’re gonna die because of climate change but I suppose nature’s way is better than mass genocide. When I debate I always prefer to take the negative/con side, which may suggest pessimism.

- I require someone to provide evidence to back up every statement of theirs and I do the same. If you don’t have this evidence then you had better find some or I will not listen to you until I’m satisfied with your sources.

- If I don’t know much about a topic then I will either say “I don’t know, do you want to look it up together” (usually option A) or stay silent. I’m too much of a perfectionist to say something too illogical that I won’t be able to correct later.

- But I also won’t agree with someone just to agree with someone because that’s the biggest piece of B.S. I’ve ever seen.

- I can spend all day googling random things instead of talking to people. And I mean all day.

- I prefer writing over talking any day. I famously like to say that I’m good at debate and terrible at speaking, refer to an earlier post of mine. I like to have the time to painstakingly process all of my ideas, weed out which ones I can’t support effectively, and then take a while to present my ideas. I teamed up with guy I really hate to pitch my film script ideas once because I’m not a good salesman.

- I think I can play the character of an ENTP really well. It’s not hard. It’s stereotypical vine material combined with a little intellectualism. One of my friends had said that I hadn’t done anything “crazy” in a few years and that I didn’t seem like myself, and my response to her was like “that’s not me, that’s a character”. It’s also the same as an INTP but more exaggerated. Now, I think ENTPs play lots of characters too generally, but I think I’m being very meta and playing an ENTP.

- A lot of people used to think that I partied hard/was a drug dealer but I mostly write and watch murder mysteries with my cat all day while contemplating the modern human’s relationship to early homo sapiens.

- I can be loud but that’s because I know how to put on a show, if that makes sense. I usually have a flair for the dramatics when I’ve decided I have a crush on them and it’s not a light one. With light crushes, I will ignore a person’s existence. The end. Otherwise, I can be silent as a mouse for months and the only person in the room who will know I’m smart will be the teacher/my bff/my mom/whoever. Likewise, the narcissism thing is totally fake. I don’t think I’m hot, I just say that because you’re supposed to believe it eventually and also because it’s some big societal upheaval for women to be confident.

- My default mode is accidentally flirty. Lots of sex jokes. Unless I like you, then any time you mention sex I will say “ew” or “cooties”. Apparently, I’m good at giving this look that says “hey stranger, come on over” but then I’ll scoot away because you’re a stranger and hello, personal space. I can be very friendly when I get over the fact that you’re a stranger talking to me though (but I had to develop this as a job skill). 

- I think I’m blunt and direct but I’m actually not usually directly blunt. For example, there was this guy at my school who kept sexually harassing me and to him, I just glared at him all the time and kept moving away from him because I didn’t want to start shit, but I told his best friend about it and was like “I hate the dude”. Dunno if this points towards being an ENTP or an INTP. I’m very blunt but not in a personal way, if that makes sense. I can be like “this is why I think that’s wrong” and openly criticize an idea, but I don’t openly criticize people I know.

- I’m not totally oblivious to other people’s feelings. I understand where they come from sorta. But I don’t really understand them themselves. If that makes sense. I can be like, oh she is hurt because I said this and now she has a lowered her eyelids. But then I’m like, okay, but I wouldn’t respond the same way emotionally so why did she? 

- I’m naturally basically a hobbit. I actually hang around a lot of very stable people (shoutout to ISFJ) and usually I leave behind friendships/relationships because they have upset this state of comfort by being toxic. I like to eat the same thing every time I go to a place, I like to do the same activities. But I like a little adventure, I like to have new conversations and try on different styles (but my go-to style is classic), I like to listen to new songs (but I have a soundtrack of songs I will sing over and over).

- I cannot handle authority. If you are an authority member and you raise your voice at me, I will cry, and those will be real tears.

- In middle school, people used to get mad at me for being afraid to do a lot of things like ziplining, so basically I force myself to go out of my comfort zone because I know that as much as I hate to do it and as much as I will procrastinate to do it, there’s a chance it will better my life. This could be where my ENTP character comes from. It could also be from being in theatre and imitating the average theatre kid. Either one.

- I hate stages. I hate them. I hate being in front of people. I hate talking to people a lot of the time. But I just do it anyway because it will hurt me if I don’t even if I’m about to throw up.

- I can be a loud person but I can also be extremely quiet. And when I observe people I usually think they’re being way too loud for my poor ears. 

- I’m not a true leader. I take a lot of leadership positions but really I’d prefer to be an individual but have recognized the need for a guide and no one else has taken it on. I also hate group projects. I have done 0 group projects (outside of AP Bio because I worked w/ my best friend who’s very capable) in the past three years of high school that I can remember. I don’t like carrying the deadweight of other people.

- I hate liars. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. And they’re easy to spot. It’s my biggest pet peeve and I frequently say it when I’m judging someone’s character.

- Likewise, I’m very good at spotting psychopaths. My friends made a game out of this using their blocked-out forensics textbook. I think this is also an ENTP thing.

- Theoretically, I think I do think very similarly to an ENTP. For example, I can buy into existentialism, but I think there’s a basic starting point for morality that’s universal. I.E. murder is inherently bad. Slavery is inherently bad. Y’all can look at my older posts. An ENTP, however, really and truly does believe that a universal morality doesn’t exist and furthermore, that they don’t have an innate moral compass. This is one of the big red flags to me and part of the reason why I started looking into INTPs (I had initially been comparing myself w/ ENFPs but I ruled that out). I do immoral things, but I think these things are immoral and I feel guilt for them. I follow laws, but I don’t think laws are inherently moral and every once in a while you’ll come across a law that shouldn’t be followed because it infringes upon natural rights.

- Again, with reflecting on the past a lot of ENTPs don’t think their past is a concrete thing. And I logically agree with that. So many of our memories are made up and distorted, some people even steal other people’s memories and adopt them as their own. But I think of my past as a part of me all the same and I recognize that I’ve gathered as close to an objective understanding of it that I can.

- I think I naturally act like an INTP without any intense external stimuli. Which is to say, I’m an INTP and appear like one unless I feel like looking like an extrovert will aid me somehow.

- Every time I say I’m an extrovert to anyone they’re like “no, you’re definitely an introvert”. This was another red flag. I don’t put much value in other people’s perspectives of me typically but figuring out where I get energy from has been a long process. It turns out, I don’t get lasting energy from people or from being alone. I do get short-term energy from having really good conversations with people and I like to be near people but not necessarily speaking to them all the time (I’d rather fall asleep on them most of the time). They drain me out so fast too. My family was just in town for a few weeks and it will take me a few weeks to cope. Most of my energy comes from dance. It might not make sense to most people, but it’s true.

- And then I learned that some people think being an extrovert means you’re focused on external stimuli. Well, this certainly isn’t true for me. I think so much in my head that one day I decided to focus more on the outside world because it was just too much for me to handle emotionally.

- I socialize like an introvert. Even in a crowd of people, I find one person to pay attention to and they get all of my attention.

-  I’m slow to decide if someone is friend material. You may think we’ve been friends for five years and I’ll be like “dude, I know one thing about you and I don’t trust you”.

- I used to be very oblivious to social cues but then I researched them and practiced them so now I’m pretty good at them.

- Si wise, if you say an adjective I can remember my associations with it very easy. This makes reading horror novels a gruesome experience. I’m a pretty nostalgic person sometimes. I’m not too sure about this one but I think it’ll be the deciding factor in whether or not I’m an INTP.

- INTPs – > small pictures within a bigger picture. When I start learning about a subject, I find a nuanced part of it very quickly. Mass incarceration for example. When I started researching about it, I became very focused on teenage drug abuse among impoverished groups in the Northeast and case studies of police planting drugs on teens to arrest them.

- I will waste 12 hrs. fixing my typos in a script. I wrote a 40 pg. script in about 8 and the rest of the day was just making sure that every word was the perfect one to use.  

- One of the videos I watched said that INTPs like to intellectually support others and bring them up to their standards. This is very true for me. I’m always the friend that people ask to explain a concept to. I don’t mind taking the time to explain anything that I know about. I just want you to learn so that you can go on to have a great conversation later in life.

- When I meet other ENTPs I don’t really see myself in them a whole lot. I do relate to their need for mental stimulation. But the INTP I know and I have been told we have the same personality on more than one occasion.

- I have 3 friend groups, so technically I have a lot of friends, but I really only hang out and talk to 2 of my friends regularly. I have go-tos for my rants.

- My friend just called me and my response was “hello, why did you make me charge my phone for this when I could have texted you on my laptop instead” . I do like talking on the phone, but the act of calling someone and having to think of things to say makes me nervous. 

- I have three main intellectual focuses. Human rights, zoology, and cinema. Outside of those, I usually feel like I don’t know what to say until I take a hot second to learn everything about that subject ever written.

- I do have a kind of dark sense of humor but it’s delivered in a light-hearted way. And really dark stuff makes me super uncomfortable. I also don’t show this dark humor to anyone but close friends.

- When talking about poverty or other social issues I do use my own experience (INTP) on the subject rather than using universal hypotheticals (someone thought this was more of an ENTP thing)

- Don’t like being touched/cuddled that much but do like cuddling other people and taking care of them.

- I think my friends Jake and Sebastian are ENTPs, in which case, we click really well and I’m one of the few people who don’t get mad at them. But I will call them out for being offensive. And a very notable difference between us is that Jake will challenge everything anyone has ever said ever. I will only challenge it, once again, if I disagree with your foundation of logic.

- When I’m around over three people I don’t really know what’s happening aside from the people I’ve focused on.

- I think in my head so much that it tires me out to exhaustion. I remember one day deciding that I wasn’t going to think to myself so much and instead focus on external things because I was just tired of contemplating things without having concrete information to make a definite answer. 

- I feel alone in large groups and like to latch on to one close friend. 

- I feel like I can “adopt on” other people’s personalities but it’s not really true. I’m always myself I’m just sometimes more talkative. 

All that being said, I don’t think I’m a stereotypical INTP if I even am one. I think I probably am more emotionally developed than a lot of rational types and I’m learning how to be there for people and just be empathetic. People are constant works in progress and I consider myself a constant work in progress.

I’m externally very dynamic (or at least appear to be) and open to my opinions being challenged, but I’m also very stubborn and static unless I arrive to those logical conclusions too.

I really thought when I started saying I was an ENTP that my INTP tendencies were just the depressed version of me. But I’m not currently depressed and sometimes the evidence becomes too big to ignore. But I wouldn’t mind hearing other opinions since I’ve only been into MBTI for a month and recognize that there are other, more experienced people out there.

- It’s 12:29 AM I have been working on this post for 2 hrs. so I’m definitely an NT.

--- 

There’s not a whole lot of information out there distinguishing between ENTPs and INTPs without relying on stereotypes. But I have seen a lot of what is out there and I will personally be typing myself as an INTP for now. 

I really have never wanted to be an introvert,  and maybe I’m not one, but I think I’ve been too biased against it to act objectively. 

@confusedinfj I’ve taken this off of private mode so you can take a gander. 

[veronicassadboi]

Why do you like Jeronica? I like them because they look good together x

I would like you to know that I pulled out the laptop for this answer. 

As we are all aware, we haven’t been given a lot to work with so essentially, we all like Jeronica for the “look” of them. Two dark haired beauties, one who always looks some what emotionally pained and the other who is so badass and doesn’t stand for shit. Aesthetically pleasing in the sense that they simply “match” because, even on the side of Barchie who both have the air of “Boy/Girl nextdoor”, Jeronica wears, “I’ve-got-a-darkness-inside-of-me” and always just kicks me in the balls and cripples me. 

I personally can’t pull out dated receipts. I can’t pinpoint dates of episodes and specific scenes belonging to “insert episode on this day” because I’m a mum and wife and don’t have the brain capacity to retain such information but I do pride myself on being ONE (please don’t think I’m trying to talk myself up here) of the first Jeronica shippers to post on AO3. 

#aesthetic aside, Jeronica has a vibe that cannot be copied. Firstly we have J who’s from the wrong side of Riverdale, born and raised slightly disjointed from the rest of the town. Never quite meshing well with everyone else. Best friend is the All American Dream who comes from a good family and lives in a nice neighbourhood, parents who have done well in their own respects who own a successful business with a mum who is a Lawyer yet still holds love for J even though he’s “different”. 

V comes from a rich family who hasn’t been around in a while. Though brought up with the luxuries you just wouldn’t find in Riverdale, who just really wants to make a name for herself. Finds a best friend in B who, like Archie, is the epitome of Riverdale. Born and raised in Riverdale, she’s the opposite to V - Just like J is to A. 

Thought wise, J and V are very similar. They fight for what they believe in - Unlike A who fights for the good of the people (can’t believe I just said that) V and J fight for what they believe in, whether it be right or wrong, while still holding on to that thin thread of “even though it isn’t morally correct, it still stands right in my mind….” and that is something that neither A or B would be able to give either of them. 

Chemistry wise, I know I’ve touched on this a few times in my asks, they truly need someone like each other. A can’t give Veronica the emotional depth that she needs. Please, don’t get me wrong, I love A. He’s our #FaveDumbass with the heart of gold and though he would support anything V says, she doesn’t need that. What she needs is someone to walk alongside her and back what she says, not someone to baby her and try and talk her out of things that may not be 100% morally correct. V doesn’t need a babysitter. She needs someone equally as strong as her. J has been stripped of emotional support (FP, Sweety, I know you love your son but God damn, you lack in some areas…) No one has been there to tell him that he’s doing good or to help project his “voice” so, given the chance, I know he could do that for V. She needs someone without ulterior motives. J couldn’t summons an ulterior motive to save his life. What you see is what you get, plain and simple. Can’t anyone just drop the facade for once around V? I know he would, because our bby boi doesn’t even have one. V has a strength that she would hate being knocked down. B tries to talk her out of it, I don’t actually believe that A knows half of what’s going on in V’s mind but she’s so used to being somewhat lead by her parents that she doesn’t need someone to protect her or baby her she needs someone that can see the logic in her mind. J is a natural born leader (or he’s been forced into it, up to you) but he is slowly trying to pave his own path… He needs someone that he can rely on for strength, (insert B’s constant need of him) he has enough going on without having to be in a relationship that needs constant fluffing. 

Flip it around and we have V’s connection with J. J is currently in a relationship that on top of everything that’s going on in his life, demands a lot of attention. God, can’t we let the boy breathe?! J come across as kind of disinterested in the actual happenings around B (not B’s fault, bad writing…) he’s left to look after himself a lot of the time and maybe he’d like someone who could look after him in some aspects. V is portrayed to be a very generous and giving person and could offer him strength in just being there to lean on. Cannonically, though both tend not to see eye to eye initially, they both hear each other out and see the “correct-ness” of the other’s opinion (Let us mutually fangirl over V buying out Pop’s for the sake of Jughead). There are no lies between them, they tell each other everything straight. Jughead has no qualms in telling V exactly how he feels. So why is Bghead so secretive? The fear of hurting each other. Jeronica harvests no fear, just facts. Like how I said V doesn’t need to be babysat, well, maybe J does? Having not had stable support from anyone in the past (#parenting 101) maybe it would be nice for him to feel at complete ease and not fear losing whatever stability he clutches at straws for. 

Relationship wise, God, I’m not going to pretend they’re shitting out hearts and rainbows. It would be tough. Two very strong personalities shoved into this “It-shouldn’t-be-right-but-fuck-me-if-it-doesn’t-feel-right,” here I am going all Fan-ficcy on you but you can’t tell me that they didn’t at least try to hide what they have. Why would the #RichBitch fall in love with the Serpent? Isn’t that everything you said you wouldn’t do? How could you fall in love with the girl who’s all kinds of levels of too good for you? They’re stolen kisses in the dark and late night phone calls when you know you should be sleeping and he’s out there tomorrow morning leading his Snakes into the fucking pit. It’s laughs about escaping town together and phone sex because she mentioned black lace and God dammit, he loves black lace. It’s ‘Imagine if we just ran away…’ and ‘I wish we could tell everyone...’

And the fights would be fire. Small things, big things… Everything ends up BIG between them. If Serpents did something stupid and J would fight to the death to protect them even if he knows they’re wrong but she would tell him straight, black and white, ‘You’re being fucking stupid, do you even own a brain?’ and he knows she’s right, but fuck, she can’t be right again. No one says sorry at first but when J does, he’s met with a ‘I know,’ and but they fuck in the back of the car anyways because the tension was so thick, he could feel the way she feels in his lap even before he forced the sorry out of him. But she didn’t need the sorry, what she needed was for him to see that he was trying to stick up for the people he loves most even when they’re wrong, and she wants to know that even when she’s wrong, he’ll call her out on it. 

I am aware this is all based on a shit load of “What-Ifs…” but I guess that’s the fun of not shipping a ship that’s cannon. You can build on what you’re given. I know the fandom creates an entire world around Jeronica and that truly is something special. 

[silvallyfuuuk]

hi this is random but i was drawing tigerstar earlier today because design reasons and i was bored but @silverhawk reminded me of how tigerstar is basically the warriors equivalent of a cis dude and how they're brought up..

man this dude is SUCH missed potential, they could have done so much more with him.

for starters, make the entire "firestar replaced me in the eyes of bluestar" legitimately realistic. since when did tigerstar care about bluestar? it would be far better to give tigerpaw as an apprentice to bluefur, because then it would mean he actually cared about her attention outside of power.

pinestar is a useful way to make him more interesting too. he was MEANT for leadership, literally, most of tigerstar's male bloodline are leaders. while pinestar was still around, he was groomed into thinking that. he was allowed to be the clans spoiled brat. leopardfoot babies him, and won't correct him. pinestar has lofty expectations, but doesn't give any love. he keeps talking about how he will be leader, and he must be strong, but pinestar isn't a good father, and is quite distant, before coming a kittypet and abandoning the clan. not only does tigerkit struggle with the sudden change in how he is treated, being the son of a traitor, he is left with the lofty expectations pinestar and his kin left him. to be strong, and a leader. nothing less than perfect. this makes a perfectionist, who seeks to get whatever he needs no matter what. he's immature, and still a kid, but the reality of what he should be, and what he thinks he deserves to be just because of his linage, gets in deep. there's no one to guide him, because leopardfoot's love is unfortunately just smothering him in love and refusing to let him grow up (he's her last kit, and it's hard to let go of your only son who almost died early on after all), so he doesn't learn from her, nor does he learn from other clan cats who should be supporting him. they cast looks of scorn, and call him names. and leopardfoot just keeps reiterating pinestar's words to be the next clan leader. he's socialized to assert himself and fight. he can't be soft, because in order to be a leader that his mother and father expects him to be he must be strong, and that means he cannot show weakness or emotion. kind of like male socialization, yeah.

it would also be another matter that would make bluefur's struggle to be the new thunderclan deputy more interesting, because she just got tasked with dealing with the traitor's son. a much better conflict than sunstar being sexist and like oh you had babies :) no leadership for you. id go on and say maybe tigerpaw being her apprentice would be her "prove yourself"thing because she took a riverclan mate, and sunstar isn't sure anymore. no one else in thunderclan is suitable, so ofc sunstar is angry. he then forces her to train a cat everyone only sees pinestar in, and is a much less sexist punishment than oh you're a girl. if sunstar really cared about bluestar like his own daughter he'd let her be deputy while she took care of her kits. but it's more realistic for him to be disappointed and reluctant to make her deputy because he knew she broke the code.

bluesfur is super fixated on becoming deputy. to show she's loyal to thunderclan in the eyes of sunfall, she 'disposes' her kits (he very much pushed her, not because she had kits but because of who their father was), and returns to take tigerkit as her apprentice. because bluefur is tigerpaw's first proper mentor figure that isn't his mom, he looks up to her a lot. he learns ambition from bluefur, and how you have to give everything up for it if you want it. he cares a lot about his mentor, she's a smart, strong cat, and she's the next clan leader. because tigerpaw isn't liked much by the clan at first because of his father, he imprints on the one cat who seems to be fair to him. (of course bluefur has many reservations about him but sees making him into a noble warrior as a stepping stone for leadership)

bluefur is young, reckless, and ambitious. tigerpaw picks this up, and because of how the pressure of his past linage to be amazing (very much like male socialization!) he follows her path

unlike bluefur he did not have any stable moral footing early on. he came out of the womb sick and no one believing in him. his mother spoiled him, and deflected any criticism possible.

when bluefur speaks about being deputy, and how she will do anything for it, tigerpaw agrees she deserves to be deputy, and then leader. the less than mature bluefur, who has the all the potential, but lacks the experience that comes with age, says that if she was leader, he would be a fine deputy. this is something bluefur said hastily and didn't think much of, but on a little kid's mind, it does a lot to tigerpaw. not only does he find himself loyal to bluefur, he also sees her leadership as a way to achieve his dream.

tigerpaw's ambitions vs realism and patience turns out to be bloody and all consuming.

when redtail is made deputy, he's hurt, but he knows he has not had an apprentice yet, so he does not get to be a deputy. however after training darkstripe, he expects to. but redtail is young like him, and though he waits, he is not deputy. by the time he gets ravenpaw as an apprentice, he's planned out redtail's death. to him it's justified, this is what you're supposed to do to get what you want, right?

after all, tigerpaw learns from bluefur, and the other not so great influences that to become great, you must do it yourself, as no one will believe you otherwise. everyone underestimated him, so the only way to assert himself is force, and for everyone to see it.

bluefur teaches him loyalty, kindness, and courage. but she also teaches him bad behaviours that she herself admits was not justified back when she was training him. unfortunately bluefur is unaware of the impact she made on a young, fragile developing mind.

thistleclaw in theory is only reckless and hot-blooded (in bluestar's prophecy that is), but bluefur seeks to be deputy over him anyways, all for self interest. tigerpaw picks this up. but while bluefur mellows out, and concedes it was not the best idea, tigerpaw clings to these ideals because he has nothing else.

maybe as an apprentice he has honest to god angst, but by the time he's a warrior, his ego is so inflated despite the fact he also has an inferiority complex (thanks to pinestar, and cats judging him) he's beyond rationality. he wouldn't cry in a sense, but he'd express his Sadness in anger and violence, because that's the only thing that's acceptable of a strong warrior.

he's emotionally stunted, and unlike bluestar and firestar, he never was shown that kindness and love are the right answers. while blue+fire were raised fine, tiger was not. he didn't have proper support, and bluefur was mentally shakey during her warrior years, which just fed to tigerpaw's problem.

by the time he's killed redtail, and bluestar passes him over in favour of lionheart, he loses the idealization he once had of her, and sees her as a stepping stone to leadership.

tigerstar was a noble warrior in life who was an extremist, but after exile, and many things after, he was beyond redemption. in life he had honour, courage, and righteousness. no matter what happened, those were his main traits. but in death/the dark forest, he devolved into the superiority inferiority complex he has now, where he seeks to only prove himself as strong, use violence to solve his frustrations he had in lifez and take revenge on firestar, who he thinks stole everything from him, as a kittypet like his father, and the one he saw turned bluestar weak, and made her favour firestar over him.

idk food for thought, just.. much more interesting to have tigerstar be the standard cis male socialization dude who honestly could have been helped, but went too far, and used violence to solve his problems.

he's smart, brave, and righteous, but emotionally, he was horribly stunted, and could never think maturely in that fashion thanks to what he learned, and what he was surrounded by in youth.

so. much. missed. potential.

[blackunicorn2020]

Watering My Well Being

This current relationship is full of anxiety and fear along with distrust. Shutting down has become a safe way for me to live. Due to the severe trauma exspearanced in adolescent years, and the overwhelming rise of anxiety or pain going through my day to day, I revert back to mental place that is safe. And the only time I've felt that safe was as a toddler. I was cute and received a lot of attention from my mom, I was fed warm/hot meals and dressed like a princess. There was love and lots of it though smiles and physical affection.

My partner turned 40 this January, I turned 26 last November. We met at work in a famous Los Angeles Italian restaurant where he was set up to train me. I strongly disliked him from the jump. He micromanaged and his tone was never correct enough for me. We all bussed our asses on busy nights and he is the best in the establishment so we celebrated over whisky, chianti and joints. He chased me and I let him, I played it cool the entire time. I am in a relationship with a person that is a huge trigger for me. Our codependency is becoming toxic, I don't trust that he is the man for the job, and this is all because of his drinking. He turns in to a *completely* different person-a evil vial aggressive force of destruction.

Picture a 5 year old on her birthday, she was born for the party that awaits her. The dolls she sleeps with and the friends and family to join. All the snacks and goodies she could ever have awaits as soon as she brushes her teeth and puts on a party dress. She can't stop moving and smiling and making sounds and noises with her lips and mouth. Burst of excitement in forms of jumping, wiggling, dancing, and spinning in circles. She can't stop singing little made up tunes or be still, twirling her finger in her hair. Now picture Trunchbull from *Matilda,* her gaining energy from suffering children how she genuinely hated if a kid was jolly, and did everything in her power to stop it from taking place in her sight. This is my partner when he drinks.

How do you tell someone that when they drink to the point they start to talk crazy and getting aggressive terrifies them? What if he tell me that the childish behavior that was once really cute and adorable is unbecoming and annoying. During the Covid-19 quarantine time we have been drifting apart, I lost my job almost 40 days ago. So I have been home on lock down going mentally nuts. And when I go nuts I keep it to myself, it takes days for me to come clean on what's going through my head or, to explain why my face looked the way it did. We live together. I moved in the end of summer last year.

With him being 40 I revert back to a childish place of being completely taken care of. When looking for a boyfriend I am attracted to older, well established, financially stable men. Can you completely take care of yourself? Do you have enough money to take care of someone else? Like a wife or children if that's in your cards. I desperately want to be taken care of. It is a real strong desire that I have. When existing in the element I feel at home, I feel conferrable and stress free like I'm living me best life. I have little to no anxiety, when in a stressful situation I don't feel the pressure to self harm, less self dialog, mental stability and physical comfort in the safety of it all.

My partner pays the rent in a rent controlled building and utilities, he buys the food and house supplies, takes care of the cannabis medical supply weekly, and tampons monthly. I am really blessed. I have little to no money when pay day comes. I owe and pay child support on top of paying back money borrowed and bills that are past due form having my own apartment last year. We don't drive, so I pitch in for Ubers, wine, food, and other things when we go out. My $984 before taxes every 2 weeks including cash + credit card tips is nothing to his $1,100 after taxes a week. My money is to be saved he says so I can have a apartment of my own soon.

I was evicted from my Koreatown apartment. It fucked my credit and now I'm playing catch up and repair woman. I kept the apartment after leaving a abusive relationship the big victorian 2 Bedroom 1 Bathroom was mines to find a new roommate to pay half the rent with. I had gotten pregnant again and I just knew I was going to do something stupid with suicidal thoughts. I missed out on a months full time shifts gagging or vometting every 5 minuets dizzy, very low energy, and just the most physical pain and discomfort. I was the maitre d in a very popular Italian establishment so pushing through work with these kind of symptoms is more of a health code violation as l like to call it. Rent got bagged up paying only half for months. Then my roommate moved out after a year because her and her new boyfriend wanted to move in together. Going on to packing up my apartment putting everything out side for the community to have (& they took it all... yessss) that I could not pack to have ready for Make Space to pick up. I was mentally relapsing *hard.*

I rented one of my best friends living room futon before moving in with my partner now. We had a blast, for them to be a married couple we all feel like siblings when hanging out, staying up late watching Cosmic Discloser eating popcorn and drinking red wine. There too I felt safe, I felt loved and cared protected. It was stable, I had a job, paid my rent and always had a place to sleep. I wasn't dating for a while because I believed I didn't deserve to once I got evicted. Just like millions of Americans right now I am waiting till the economy is back up in runny to apply for a job again. I have been working in the Food & Beverage industry for over 10 years now and we are all being heavily effected right now.

My partner asked me if I regress. I said no because I was ashamed, I felt like a child in trouble once again like someone seen me pick my nose and eat it. Because I am so interested about my trauma and the mind I looked it up. Among this one I do suffer from many other forms of behavior and psychosocial disorders, I identify with a lot and its scary and amazing. I know that I am not the only one going through these feelings so it make me want to look and search more. To find out the when, who's, why, and how's. I wanna know why I am the way I am, how I got this way so that I am able to reverse it. How to get out of my head...

If I am not suppose to be in a relationship with a 40 years young man then Universe, let a sista know! All the anxiety I have is not only for myself but for my partner too. Dose he want more, dose he want to get married, adopt a baby, dose he ever wanna live anywhere else, what dose his dream home look like, political views, universal views, do you morally believe in good or evil. He deserves joy and freedom just like me-like anyone else. And as I seek these answers I don't like what l find. I find that we want two completely different lives. We live in two different worlds. I love him and that hurts me, my love is what I stay. I feel cared for and wanted even when its rough. I stay rough because a part of me feels like this is the best partner I can gain in a relationship. These are the best days. The battle between ungratefulness and self worth continues. I never know if i am settling or being ungrateful. The craving of acceptance and unconditional love is finding out who l am and how can she be loved.

I know my triggers. Not all of them but enough to know what will send me into relapse. The sounds, smells, people, places, and events. The most important thing is l am aware of the work that needs to be done on me. She knows that she can't do it successfully on her own, she knows that this requires money and resources that she dose not have right now. She knows she's a survivor, but she is dangerously eager to live to explore, to no longer live in slavery of her trauma only having to search for more coping practices. To have the privilege to take time not worrying about money or bills as an obstacle to get the help she needs. To have absolutely no excuses. The courage it takes to stand alone, stay up late, cry, open up about the things she pretends never happened. To get away from it all retreating to a safe place where she can fall completely apart emotionally, visiting those places that she brainwashed herself to believe never existed.

[gyrlversion]

Fast, pain-free divorces? They are slow agony for our children

Fail to keep up payments on a house or car, or break your employment contract, and see what happens to you.

The courts will take the side of the person or company you have wronged, force you to pay up and probably throw in a punishment too.

But break a marriage contract and the courts will now take your side and punish anyone who gets in your way, especially anyone who wants to abide by the contract.

The person who wants to stay married and refuses to accept the end of the pact, can – if he or she resists – be dragged by force from the family home, under the ultimate threat of prison.

The supposedly Conservative government last week revealed that it is to strip away the last shred of legal protection from the former institution of marriage. You may have said all kinds of things about sticking around, but from now you just need to say ‘It doesn’t suit me anymore’, and in six months the marriage will be dissolved, no delay.

This strikes me as amazing in itself – that there is one unique area of law where the delinquent person is rewarded and the dutiful person punished.

You’d have thought more people would be interested. But, as so often when really strange things happen in our revolutionary society, nobody notices or cares.

The supposedly Conservative government last week revealed that it is to strip away the last shred of legal protection from the former institution of marriage.

You may have said all kinds of things about sticking around, but from now you just need to say ‘It doesn’t suit me anymore’, and in six months the marriage will be dissolved, no delay.

The philosopher Sir Roger Scruton is not a friend or an ally of mine. I greatly disagree with him, for instance, about his Cold War view of Russia. And I thought he was foolish to accept even an unpaid post from a Tory government that only wanted to use him as window-dressing. 

But his sacking from that post, by the Housing Minister James Brokenshire, because of remarks attributed to him by the Left-wing New Statesman, is still shocking. 

Did Mr Brokenshire (who similarly sacked a conservative doctor from a government body in 2011) call for and obtain a full recording or transcript before acting? Or did he just run away? 

Sir Roger is unworldly and sometimes obscure, but the idea that he is an anti-Semite, or any other kind of racial bigot, is absurd. 

I understand that some people think this is a good idea, but isn’t it a pity that there’s no major political organisation in the country which is prepared to stand up for the other point of view?

Well, there you are, if you like anything traditional and British, you have no friends at Westminster. Get used to it.

Everyone involved will deny this, but the people who pay the real price for this destruction of secure home life are the children.

Every statistical measure shows that the breaking of marriage harms them. But they have no voice. It is the adults, liberated from their responsibilities, who write articles in the papers, make the programmes on the radio and TV, and the speeches in Parliament, which claim everything will be fine.

It won’t be. Our monstrous taxes, and most of our worst social problems – from chaotic schools to crime and overstretched hospitals full of old, ill people – arise from the very expensive failure of the state to substitute for the stable, solid family which used to be held together by lifelong marriage, and now isn’t.

Perhaps the simplest, most graphic way of showing that neglect of children is now an epidemic, is last week’s news from Walsall, where an infant school has designated a staff member to change the nappies of five-year-old children because so many pupils are not toilet-trained.

These poor children also cannot communicate or hold a pencil properly, let alone use cutlery or dress themselves.

What else have they not learned in these vital years? What sort of adults are they going to be? I am not sure I want to be around to find out. 

A wonderful revolt took place last week against the miserable dumbing-up of the once-entertaining TV quiz programme University Challenge.  

Instead of asking questions which every educated person might be able to answer, the show now spends an immense amount of time asking highly specialised questions about science, which take ages to read out and which only about one person in 100,000 could even guess at.

In the semi-final between Durham and Edinburgh, presenter Jeremy Paxman (whose knowledge of science is, I guess, sketchy) enquired sternly of the Durham team: ‘Give the two-word name of the bacteria from which the following thermo-stable polymerases were first isolated.’

Eh? I bet he understood that.

The Durham team simply refused to pretend they even cared they didn’t know, and wisely responded ‘Pass’. If others would only do the same thing, the programme might become fun to watch again.

In the semi-final between Durham and Edinburgh, presenter Jeremy Paxman (whose knowledge of science is, I guess, sketchy) enquired sternly of the Durham team: ‘Give the two-word name of the bacteria from which the following thermo-stable polymerases were first isolated.’

A miserable attempt to rewrite the past

I used to love museums. I prefer quiet to noise, and enjoy the way old things communicate the real nature of the past. As Thomas Hardy wrote in his marvellous poem Old Furniture: ‘I see the hands of the generations, that owned each shiny familiar thing.’ They were like huge attics. Nobody was trying to tell you anything. You could just dream a bit.

One of my favourites was the Ashmolean in Oxford, which displayed Guy Fawkes’s lantern, and the overpoweringly lovely Alfred Jewel, once owned by that great King. They’re still there, but modernisers are hard at work, turning this great collection into a politically correct nursery of equality and diversity.

A sad employee has sent me a miserable document, Ashmolean For All, which the museum tells me is genuine. It opens by saying it is ‘central to the Museum’s Strategic Plan 2018-23’ – and if that does not make your heart sink, it adds: ‘It is a new policy focused on equity and inclusion.

It aims to improve the way the Ashmolean serves, represents and includes diverse communities and individuals.’ It must ‘evolve to remain relevant to all its potential audiences’.

Oh, and it’s all ‘in response to a changing political landscape and awareness of new thinking about the current role of cultural organisations around the world’.

There’ll be ‘decolonisation’ and searches for ‘coded racial harassment’ and ‘systemic racism’. Go soon, if I were you, before the project’s finished.

No old, beloved, established thing is now safe from the commissars of political correctness. We are in a slow-motion version of China’s cultural revolution, and at the end of it hardly anyone will remember who we used to be.

This drama is brilliant – as a spotlight on failing Britain

When Detective Sergeant Lisa Armstrong is assigned to a missing persons investigation, at first it seems like any other. As a Family Liaison Officer, she’s trained never to get emotionally involved. But  there’s something very different about this particular case. With horror Lisa realises she’s got a personal connection with this family; one that could compromise her and the investigation. As she grapples to get justice for the grieving family, Lisa discovers it could come at a cost. 

The plot of ITV’s police drama The Bay is ludicrous. I can’t even begin to work out who has killed whom or why, though for once it doesn’t seem to be all based on child abuse.

But the series, which is filmed in Morecambe, is a wonderful spotlight on modern Britain as it actually is – the casual swearing, the dreadful schools in which the young endure fear and are corrupted by all kinds of moral slurry on their computers, the expensive new Blair-era public buildings with their nursery colour-schemes.

The sort-of heroine (played by Morven Christie, left), a senior police officer, engages in knee-tremblers in alleyways with people she’s hardly met.

It is also a world in which the old professional middle class has almost completely vanished.

Only one minor character speaks in the authoritative BBC tones once associated with this class. And he is a pensioner running the food bank. To me, this gives a sense that there’s really nothing underneath any more, and if you fall through a gap, you’ll fall for ever.   

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