#I refuse to switch now
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they changed my chinese courses for freaking spanish😞
#me#I HATE SCHOOL!! i had 2 years in chinese class and i LOVED it#it was so nice and i enjoyed learning chinese#i refuse to switch now
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I am spring cleaning by removing all my mental wellness apps from my phone, because this year's software update leaves me 10 kb that are not just OS.
They didn't ever work for longer than a month, but they were aspirational
#bloatware#enshittification#mental health apps#ADHD and depression combo shot#do you ever stim by waving your hand around your ears to hear the echolocation?#I did not want the new 5g thing because my dad works on phone software and he said not to for another year or five because coverage#not choosing the new thing gave me a lobotomized phone#I refuse to switch now#I am attached#I love my stupid non broken phone
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#still yakuza lmao#I don't remember which day I started it but it was definitely no earlier than the 30th#I think I didn't start until I actually got holiday packages into the mail on the 3rd.#my partner started playing it like the day after it got released for switch#which I think was late october?#but he has like. a job. so he's just been playing an hour here a couple hours there yknow#we are both very much getting our money's worth though lol#I try to stop playing by midnight but I didn't manage that today -n-#I really wanted to find the last 2000 yen bill without looking it up but I was Struggling#(I did find it tho)#I've still got a decent amount of stuff left to do#even discounting the completion list stuff that doesn't interest me like the gambling#which I might at least try to do anyway#but we're both in chapter 9 of the main story now (although he's already a ways in)#(and I technically haven't done the last conversation of chapter 8 but I did all the actual Doin Stuff)#it sounds like there's probably 10 chapters from a thing I saw having to look up where majima was hiding the first time?#that's the only thing I've looked up so far though.#anyway I'm having fun#this is why I refused to start playing yakuza until I finished my holiday crafts.#oh wait I also looked up a clarifying explanation on one of the dragon moves you have to learn#I wanna do as much of it as I can without external guides#update from the next day I was incorrect about there being 10 chapters yay :)#more game for meeeee
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more cfau miscellaneous things because Childhood Friends Danny and Jason have my head and heart always and I need to finish rewriting chapter two dammit (and redo the half-finished chapter 4 because its just Not The Vibes). i'm almost through I need to get through the graveyard scene. (i just stubbornly refuse to have it be shorter than the original chapter and thats the little death. that is the mind killer.)
Danny and jason’s ghost forms both smell faintly like burnt flesh and cigarettes. However, Jason has a more smokey smell while Danny’s smells almost,,, electrical? In a sense? Like he just straight up smells like burnt flesh and sulphur while Jason smells like someone put him in a smoker first.
It’s very much an unpleasant smell but Danny finds an odd comfort in it just as much as he finds a comfort in the smell of nicotine.
(Jason post-revival smells burnt flesh once and is immediately offput by the fact that it brings him an instinctive comfort. He doesn’t realize its because it reminds him of Danny, and is uncomfortable by it.)
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In an au of an au, Danny’s altercation with Rath ends with Rath regaining enough of his sanity to snap out of the grieving state and ends with him breaking down. Instead of being souped and imprisoned, Rath, who is permanently 14, decides to Move On into the unknown. He’s exhausted, heartbroken, and tired.
(Is this influenced heavily by the ParaNorman scene where he talks to Agatha and helps her move on? Yes. But it doesn’t fit with the Original Storyline so im shoving it into an Au of an Au.)
Rath tells Danny that Jason lied to them (which he genuinely believes), and that he’s tired of waiting/looking for him/grieving. Jason is gone. He isn’t coming back, he abandoned them. And he wants his mom and dad, and his sister, and his friends. And he’s ready to join them.
He leads Danny out to Gotham, which other than Amity Park might’ve been the only city left untouched due to Rath’s own mental block on the place. They go out to the park he and Jason used to frequent or up to one of crime alley’s rooftops, and there Rath lies down and goes to sleep. Only to never wake up again, materializing into nothing as his soul moves on.
Before Rath leaves, he forces Danny to promise him that he’ll only wait for Jason for ten years. After that if he doesn’t find him, or if Jason doesn’t show, then Danny has to move on. Whether that be like how Rath does, or if its inly mentally/emotionally, doesn’t matter. He has to move on. Don’t wait for him. Don’t waste his time any more.
(“Oh, and if you find him, kick his ass for me.”)
Danny reluctantly agrees, and Rath lies down. Danny sings to him as he falls asleep.
(Angsty points if the vigilantes including Red Hood caught wind of their presence and were silently watching from the shadows. Rath might know they’re there, but Danny’s too focused on Rath to notice.)
(If only so that Red Hood realizes that this is what happened to Danny, and that Danny is gone before he can make things right. The tragedy, folks. The angst. The initial realization that Danny was Rath, and then also that Danny was dead and has been dead for years, and that before he moved on, he moved on believing that Jason abandoned him.)
(like i said it doesn't fit in the original timeline/storyline hence why its an au of an au and isn't nearly a fleshed out, but i was largely just focusing on the tragedy of Rath moving on and Jason being alive to see it and realize just who Rath is.)
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Just like how the Lazarus pits shot Jason's twiggy 4'6-5'4 (depending on what you find) feet tall and 86lb ass up like a tree an essentially fixed his malnutrition, the portal did the same thing for Danny.
(granted i forgot about malnutrition and danny's likely stunted growth at first -- his family lived in crime alley and despite both his parents working, I don't think they had enough food all the time. He probably wasn't as badly malnourished as Jason was, but he wasn't healthy either.)
Granted his ghost in its "natural" state (14) is short, and his growth spurts were slow at first, it did result in him reaching his dad's height. There were points where it just happened overnight, like a baby. He went to bed one night 5’6 and woke up the next day 5’10.
Jazz is shorter than him. Although I have't decided if she's even liminal at all (and if she is, it didn't cure everything because she would have also suffered childhood malnutrition, and since in au canon their parents didn't get their hands on physical ectoplasm until after they got to Amity Park. So the exposure is less.)
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Danny's voice absolutely sounds like canon Dan's. It kinda just dropped one day when he was 16-17 and never went back up. Sam and Tucker sometimes ask him to just talk about anything because they find his voice soothing.
I'm not sure yet how Danny would feel about it at first considering Rath, but I imagine that Rath, when he did speak, would have had a quieter and scratchier/weaker voice considering he's spent the last decade shrieking and crying.
(and i suppose technically that shouldn't have any effect on his throat considering he's a ghost and idk if that would actually affect him, but i like the idea so im keeping it)
In the beginning you could hear him from a mile away by the sound of his loud, echoing wails, but ten years later you can only really hear him by the soft, shuddering sobs he makes. Like he's gasping for air that isn't there. The future is full of very quiet survivors.
And it's much easier to speak when you pitch your voice upwards (especially when whispering/speaking quietly) so he might've spoken in a higher, airy pitch in order to be heard. So Danny might actually find a comfort in having a lower voice.
#tw mentions of gore#cw gore#i suppose this counts as gore#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#childhood friends au#cfau#really leaning into the idea of rath just being a horror. the horrors! i am delighted in the horrors!#im having fun with it#i swear to god turning 19 turned a switch on in my brain because i am much more comfortable with gore and heavy injury now than i was l#literally a year ago. the urge to write about some of danny's most horrific injuries in his fights is STRONG#like the hORRORS folks. *th horrors*. i dont think i'll ever write a dissection fic because that icks me out but the idea that danny's had#to stitch up his own throat because it got slit in a fight nd he cant shift back to human until he's done because his ghost will survive bu#his body wont#the idea that he's been impaled multiple times before and it hurts each fucking time but he still gets up and hurls the hurt right back in#equal measure. because that's how you wanna play? okay. lets play. he's 14 and his best friend is dead. he can play.#and the idea that all ghosts have 'corpse' forms where their ghosts look exactly like how they died. and danny is utterly unrecognizable#jazz being liminal or not just isnt important to me because she's barely gonna show up in the story anyways#same reason why i hardly use the headcanon that ellie becomes danny's daughter because what use is she to me like that? she'll hardly have#an impact on the story and i refuse to treat characters like props. if they can't help progress the story then they aren't included
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It's really frustrating being trans sometimes with cis loved ones because other cis people will go, "oh but it's such a huge adjustment for them! They're grieving for your pre-transition self/they aren't used to the change yet/it's hard on them!"
It's just so frustrating that people forget that trans people's feelings on this matter, too. Cis people aren't the only ones who have adjustments to make. Frankly, as much as I sympathize with cis people in this position, I can't help but be really jaded about it because so often, cis people jump to the defense of other cis people and they will seemingly forget to or refuse to give the same grace to trans people.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#like at what point is it 'they aren't used to it yet!' and it morphs into 'that person is actively refusing to acknowledge you'#i'm at a point now where i have been out as trans for half my life. at what point is this willfully refusing to see *me*#it's just amazing that it doesn't matter what the trans person could do because it's their fault for bringing 'burden' onto cis people#i UNDERSTAND that it can be hard for family for instance to flip a switch with their trans loved one...#...but i can't help but notice that so often it's because they *refuse to try*#why is it that cis people can do almost anything to trans people but trans people must be perfectly understanding and perfectly...#...content with whatever cis people in our lives have to say about how hard it is on THEM...#...like that's insulting to me. imagine being so willfully incompassionate...#...i'm worried about if i'm safe in my own workplace or in my gym or in a medical setting...#...i feel like we need a sense of scale about who is most affected by transness in this scenario...#...because i would RATHER be grieving over somebody's transness than worrying if i'll be hatecrimed...#...there's a difference in the experience between a trans person and the cis people in that trans person's life learning to adjust to...#...that person's transness. which is why i don't think it's comparable to say that cis people have it just as hard in this case#transphobia#transphobia tw
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No because I'm mad at DC for covering up our dysfunctional family rep.
Don't give me this:
Nightwing (Vol. 4) #100
Give me this:
JLA #75
JLA #76
#idc if i'm projecting. the emotional constipation of the batfam is Relatable okay#how dare you flip a switch without therapy or anything and be like they're all Fine and lovey now#no i refuse#bruce and damian are fucking weird okay#they're just supposed to be fine now after all that bullshit over the last idk however many years it's been now#they can be civil obviously but they should be awkward af around each other ya feel me#and i'm more-so talking about bruce's relationships w his kids rather than the siblings#although some of the siblings should be awkward as well no doubt#and dick and jason are actually portrayed that way so you know snaps for them i guess lmao#dysfunctional family#batfam
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"Have you ever seen [Barkov] fall? Has he ever fallen? He's never fallen his entire career!" "Uh—It's, uh, funny and I don't know if he'll care that I say this, but he's got those—he doesn't like the blades that you can snap in and out quickly. So when he needs to get his skates done in the middle of a game, he's gotta fully take off his skates, get 'em sharpened and retie them up—which is like one of the few guys in the league, I think, that still do that. So sometimes he'll have absolutely no edge, and he'll just find a way to, like, compensate and get through it—which is incredible." "That kind-of sucks though 'cuz that's like a bad dream to have. You're waiting on something else, like—even if the trainers just like snapped it back in or whatever, like maybe they had something different they can put in there. He probably wouldn't even know!" "[...] this guy's particular. He knows his game and he's goddamn good at it! And we don't say a word so!" "'Barky, we need you out there for the face off! There's two seconds left!'" "That's what I mean! He'll compensate and he'll still look better than all of us! Like if any of us had no edge like that, we'd be screwed, right? And he goes out there and does the Barky things that he does. We're all grateful for it! He's been getting me paid for 10 years now, so."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
loving my captain face... absolutely smitten with the man hes spent a decade with despite still not being invited to his house... thats love babey oh hes absolutely swinging and kicking his feet
THE LITTLE SMILE HE MAKES AFTER HE GOES "hes been getting me paid for 10 years now so 😃"
#aaron ekblad#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#“one of the few guys in the league that still do that” the way i blurted out SIBNEY like i was on jeopardy and i if i didnt buzz in id die#everything leads back to him...#the amount of shifts hes missed because of his skates lmao and it just gets more egregious as time passes on#because everyones switched to interchangeable blades so yeah old man i love ya but this season i did go AGAIN. AGAIN?? AFUCKINGGAIN???#anyways congrats to these 2 princesses refusing to change with the times#may their indomitable presence forever remain untouched by father clock#ekky praising sasha. fork found in kitchen#sasha being “particular” oh im sure he is have you seen him#everytime the finns bring up his anything relating to his intense hockeyisms...#yeah particular is a word for it#not to use my friends codeword but is he you know a virgo#“he goes out there and does the barky things that he does” to be so in love with sasha its a beautiful thing#“hes been getting me paid for 10 years now so” OH SHUT IT YOU#YOU ARE ALSO GOOD AT HOCKEY I DONT WANNA FUCKIN HEAR IT RN#ekkys face in a permanent half smirk talking about sasha...okay#bless whatever these two have#to many more years and counting 🍻 (bill zito i will hunt you for sport if you dont extend this man this season)
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i have a feeling that the last picture of the last jjk chap will be some weird kind of gojo awakening.
#mark my words#but like i still think that it's so unlikely that gege left him cut in half after so very specifically stating that unless the head is off#there's no limits to rct#and yeah body switch and shit but like... gojo's body is now healed and i bed shoko can put the brain in a jar full of healing juices or sm#i refuse to believe that he was seriously offscreened#it's the same with nobara#she was full on killed but gege kept us waiting for a thousand chapters and suddenly she's back and kicking#like if nobara could survive having her HEAD transfigured when we know mahito was a bitch to survive#then i refuse to believe that gojo can't#anyway gege is cooking something i tell you that#it's so very purposeful that there was no closure#i tell you that#also it's hot as hell and my brain is melting so it might also be it#on the chat with ris
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my experience with maxing out the twins' friendship is just-
Hawke: So, Carver, my dear baby brother who I love and adore, I only need +10 more points to max out your friendship. I've done the grind; through gritted teeth I've kissed templar ass so that we don't raise suspicion. I've supported and defended you and let you take the lead whenever I could. You're my favorite warrior. I took you to the Deep Roads with me because you desperately wanted to go and then made you a warden and you found a place, a purpose. I've practically written my own guide on how to earn as much friendship with you because I love you and it's totally worth it so can I please please have the last +10...? Carver: Hawke: Carver please I'm begging you Carver: Carver: +5 Friendship Hawke: AAUUGGGHHLKSAJDLKAJSDLK-
Hawke: So, Bethany, my dear sis- Bethany: +50 Friendship Hawke: Bethany: :)
#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#bethany hawke#carver hawke#i love them both they're my favorites#but oh my god the grind of maxing out carver's friendship because it's absolutely worth it and then playing another run with bethany#where i blinked and suddenly her friendship was maxed out was a wild experience sksksk#and it's interesting to think about how carver is 'difficult' when it comes to getting friendship whereas bethany already starts with +50#so it's easier to max her out just by being kind to her and doing her quests early#but after act 1 carver becomes so much softer when your friendship is high with him BUT bethany? i'm leaning more toward making her a warde#and i know she's going to be so resentful of me for it despite having maxed friendship like that's so fascinating??#how the twins start off on such opposite ends with different attitudes toward hawke?? and how after act 1 they switch??#well for the warden routes anyway... i refuse to let carver join the templars and i really REALLY don't want bethany to go to the circle#she won't be happier there no one can convince me she's happier as a circle mage... 'accepting your place' isn't the same as being happy#carver can find a place he's content with whereas bethany is screwed over either way since her magic isn't something she can just let go of#like yes both twins are bitter that they didn't survive the deep roads but carver's always worn his bitterness on his sleeve#whereas bethany felt she had to hide hers because she felt she had to be grateful for the sacrifices her family made for her#and now they are both trapped and free at the same time... carver just happens to thrive but bethany feels she traded one cage for another#ugh the hawke twins THE HAWKE TWINS Y'ALL#I just want them to be happy and loved and alive... why is that too much to ask for??
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hour ??? of the ao3 shutdown. ive grown bored of my attempts at enrichment. i may have to resort to disastrous measures. like..... wattpad.
#please help#mom pick me up#i just wanna read abt my blorbos is it that much to ask#please ddosers we just want our sillies bac#ill do whatever it takes#but i cannot return to that HELLSPAWN of an app#i refuse#i switched to ao3 and never looked back#and i do not plan on crawling back now#ao3#ao3 ddos
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✨Let’s do something fun! I wanna see the top 6 photos of your fave, these are mine! ✨
@yoellglia Thanks for the tag, Toni! I don't know why I thought choosing only 6 fedal pics would be easy because I spent more time sorting through those than browsing pinterest to find some aesthetic complements lol, but anyway, it was fun :)
#tag game#roger federer#rafael nadal#yes i'm aware my 'fave' is two players#but i refuse to pick only one#they're a set#do NOT separate#i now wanna do one of andrey and one of iga as well#i might post them later#also i didn't know there was a 10 pic per post limit on mobile and i had to switch to desktop to add the last one#you do learn something new every day lol
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Not me creeping up to the wordcount of the fourth longest book ever written
#A Reflection of Starlight#AROS#valvert#fanfic#writing#Hey I switched back to LibreOffice again after setting up my new computer#(RIP my old computer's installation of MS Office 2009)#And also my old computer in general as it is now giving me the blue screen of death upon boot#but ANYWAY#does anybody know how to make LibreOffice stop highlighting formatted areas? BC with Dark Mode it's highlighting white text#which makes it impossible to read my footnote and page numbers#Also I CANNOT believe this program was coded to be so that 'Ignore' and 'Ignore All' options only do so for the CURRENT SESSION ONLY#Like what in god's name???#I spent 3-4 hours reformatting AROS after converting it only to learn that all the 'errors' I told it to ignore just popped back#the second I reopened the document like jesus christ#Why even offer those options if it doesn't do it permanently for that document file#HHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHH#I then spent another several hours being forced to change the language formatting to French for all the French bits#JUST so it would stop underlining all of them in red#And there's no way for me to get rid of the underlining on things like cut off bits of dialogue#bc they are NOT proper words and I refuse to add them to my Dictionary (thus polluting it) just to get rid of them#Ugh#So anyway remember years ago how I joked about what if I accidentally wrote a fanfic longer than the source material itself#That being one of the longest books ever written (technically THE longest book ever written#if we're counting the FRENCH version of it and not the English translation#And yeah I know I technically split AROS into 3 books but that was only for reader convenience#It's still one book in my heart#And also because I think it would be REALLY funny to surpass Hugo's wordcount#Which is entirely plausible bc in English it was only about 531k so I only a little over 100k off and I think I can easily make that#with the material I have left to write but is already mostly plotted out
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i've complained on my priv twt but i'm going to complain again because having to pay extra for oat milk instead of milk in coffee shops is lactose intolerant discrimination !!!!!
#this is why i switched to iced fruity tea these days and none of this ice blended stuff but noooo my brain caving for something sweeter#an hour after drinking matcha with regular milk bc my stingy ass refuses to pay extra and now i'm locking myself in the bathroom...........#nadya.txt
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I know what you are...
ATTACHED
#this is two days after meeting but their lives are CHANGED#LMAO anyways i love having brain damage and forgetting why i love xyz and then being delighted with re-finding the love#can't believe i clowned myself with being all meh when i bought the switch ver for 15$ bc I'm over p5 right#yeah now here i am screenshotting every damn scene with my boy like an overzealous parent witnessing their child's first talent show#but i also be having THOUGHTS UP IN THIS CHILIS#quietly going insane at how ryuji keeps asking akira to not ditch or avoid him and being so earnest in his approach#and akira having such sad eyes and the most wounded vibe being told to avoid sakamoto and choosing to follow and hang with him anyway#like YEAH akira has the option to be sarcastic and verbally refuse ryuji's requests but his actions are the opposite of that#and I'm wondering how much action must mean to the both of them and agwaaghh#akira's little statement to sojiro about how he made a friend LIKE YES MY BOY YOU DID AND YOU'RE ACKNOWLEDGING IT#literally rolling around rn and trying not to write bc i have lost the ability but LORD I AM WEAK#huxiantalks#pegoryu#persona 5
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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Hi ok this is a weird one so feel free to pass on answering it etc,
For Dusk and Dawn
How.. would they pronounce Potato/Tomato?
I have asked my French Consultant (@petitfarron, although he speaks hobo French) and he says they'd say it "like tohmat, pohtat." Is this proper? I have no idea.
I play with French voiceover you see (even though I don't speak it :D), so my dumb brain thinks elezen Dusk and Dawn speak French too. If that is a Quebecois quirk of Petit's, assume it's because the twins have lived in Gridania for so long (my FC has collectively decided Gridania is the Kwehbec to Ishgard's Fronce). But I'm sure if they were speaking English, they'd say it the way the English voice actors do, which I assume is poe-tay-toe and toe-mah-toe since the dork Ishgardian elezen are all dork British English (I speak garbage American English).
Post-Apocalypse Dusk and Dawn (their original versions) are American as fuck, though.
#ask and i will answer#i hated ARR alphie's voice so much#SO MUCH#i swapped to french and refuse to switch back even though the voice acting is much better now#because i am attached to the french people dammit
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