#sasha being “particular” oh im sure he is have you seen him

[ratatatastic]

"Have you ever seen [Barkov] fall? Has he ever fallen? He's never fallen his entire career!" "Uh—It's, uh, funny and I don't know if he'll care that I say this, but he's got those—he doesn't like the blades that you can snap in and out quickly. So when he needs to get his skates done in the middle of a game, he's gotta fully take off his skates, get 'em sharpened and retie them up—which is like one of the few guys in the league, I think, that still do that. So sometimes he'll have absolutely no edge, and he'll just find a way to, like, compensate and get through it—which is incredible." "That kind-of sucks though 'cuz that's like a bad dream to have. You're waiting on something else, like—even if the trainers just like snapped it back in or whatever, like maybe they had something different they can put in there. He probably wouldn't even know!" "[...] this guy's particular. He knows his game and he's goddamn good at it! And we don't say a word so!" "'Barky, we need you out there for the face off! There's two seconds left!'" "That's what I mean! He'll compensate and he'll still look better than all of us! Like if any of us had no edge like that, we'd be screwed, right? And he goes out there and does the Barky things that he does. We're all grateful for it! He's been getting me paid for 10 years now, so."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

loving my captain face... absolutely smitten with the man hes spent a decade with despite still not being invited to his house... thats love babey oh hes absolutely swinging and kicking his feet

THE LITTLE SMILE HE MAKES AFTER HE GOES "hes been getting me paid for 10 years now so 😃"

[nightfall-kachiniko]

I never thought I would make it.

“Congratulations cadets, you are officially deemed a soldier, welcome to the scouting regiment,”

It’s hard to believe im even still alive.

You stood in the crowd of your now newly named comrades, your fist over your heart as it pounded in and out of your chest. Realization overcoming you as you looked around the crowd. “Seven..no eight..” You mumbled, counting the peoples heads. One in particular stuck out to you. “Oh, the quiet girl who’s always with Eren?” You questioned yourself, as an answer popped into your head about her cause of joining, “Probably for him..”

It had been days since your promotion from cadet to soldier.

The people all around the lunch room talking and chatted as you sat at the table with Eren, Armin and Mikasa. Jean sat next to you with Sasha and Connie across the table, right beside Mikasa. “That wasn’t fair! The captain doesn’t understand how hard i’m trying to master my titan ability!” The emerald eyed teen whined, hiding his face in her elbow in stress. “I’d say not to worry about it Eren,” Mikasa suggested in response as she sipped her soup.

“Yeah, Mikasa’s right!” Artlert exclaimed, “There's no way he’ll punish you for that incident earlier, it was after all an accident!” He shrugged, reassuring Eren.

“I just hope he doesn’t tell section commander Hange to help me with it.. They’re nuts,”

“Keep in mind you don’t need to master it, just gain control,” You blattered out, overhearing their conversation. The black haired girl with the red scarf looked towards you, her eyes narrowed in a stren confusion. “A-ah..er.. Sorry I didn’t mean to intrude in your conversation..” You blushed as she looked at you, your eyes quickly moving away, hiding the rose that came upon your face. “Your fine,” She said, looking away from you. “That’s okay y/n! Thanks for the advi-”

“THATS IT!” Eren suddenly yelled, pounding the table with his fist. “You’re right y/n! I just need to have control!” The brown haired boy realized with a smile on his face. “Thanks!”

“O-oh uhm no problem!” You said in his response.

The girl still had her eyes on you, almost as if she was watching you closely, observing you. Even during training, Mikasa’s eyes always fell right onto you. It was as if she was watching a child.

“AGH! ANNIE OKAY!” You yelled in hailt for your fighting trainer to stop. The dirt flew in your eyes as you crashed to the ground, your body in a sharp pain. You tried clearing the dirt in your eyes as you were kicked in the side. “AH! I SAID STOP GODDAMNIT!” You backed up, wiping your eyes. “That hurt like a bitch..” You grumbed, the side of your stomach in pain. “Its not my fault your skills in hand-to-hand combat are awful,” The blonde said, staring at you below her. “You think you could go a bit slower next time?! This is training where we help each other improve, not kick each other's asses!”

“Hey,” A familiar voice called out, steps getting closer. “That was uncalled for, Leonhart,”

“Hm?” The blonde looked behind you, The voice coming closer, “And so what if it wasn’t?” Annie said, her arms crossed at her chest. You felt an intensity gain in the atmosphere. The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Mikasa, still glaring Annie down, crouched at you side, “Are you alright Y/n?” The females voice questioned. You wiped your eyes with your shirt, water coming out as well as the sand that had been in your eyes. “Here,” Mikasa handed a tissue to you as you wiped with that instead. She stood up, glaring the blonde down, predator on pray. “You need to be more gente, keep in mind what would happen if you got caught by Captian hurting someone,”

Annie scoffed and brushed the hair out of her face, “Yeah, you’re right, but this is training, I can be as hard as I want on Y/n, after all, we’re soldiers remember?”

“Yeah, I remember, and you sure as hell don’t look like one,” Mikasa replied, leaving the blonde’s face more aggravated. A crowd suddenly formed behind them, “Oh shit are they about to fight?” Connie said, looking at the both of them and how their eyes locked sternly onto each other “No way! I’ve gotta see!” Sasha looked up from her plastic knife. Woah..wait.. Your mind wondered, are they seriously about to do this? Right now? Here? Mikasa’s the most calm and collected person I know.. And here she is, about to fight Annie.

“If you’re looking for a fight all because Y/n here is too weak, then bring it,” Leonhart smirked, holding out her hands in a steady punching position. “I’m always ready for anything,”

And with that Mikasa walked over to Annie, looking down at the girl. “Go ahead, hit me and see what happens,”

“Oh god…” Eren mumbled to himself, “why right now..”

“Mikasa! I don’t think this is a good idea!” Armin shouted at her.

“No, it’s a great one,” Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him, his face cautious, “Let’s see what you’ve got, Annie,”

You were frozen in position, too much in shock to get up. Why is she fighting over me? I mean nothing to her? Don’t I..?

“Try me, you bitch,”

“Brats break it up!” The captain yelled from across the yard, heading over to Mikasa and Annie. Levi pushed them apart from each other, scolding them, “Your lucky I don’t have much trouble with the both of you then I have with Kirsten and Jaeger,” His face in annoyance as he spoke. “Back to training you idiots, and I better not see it again,”

It seemed as though the days of being a newly graduated soldier were over as you soared through the sky. Enemies surrounded all around you as you drew your blade slicing the Jaw titan. Mikasa at your side as she helped take him down. Eren had became a monster, sneaking off to a forgien country and killing thousands of innocent civilians. It was all so new to the survey corps, and taking lives was something you didn't necessarily have a liking for.

All the screaming and yelling as the battle continued. You sprung your ODM gear onto the top of a building with terrified residents inside, their screams coming from the open window. You looked down as ash filled the air along with smoke. All around you laid bodies of people who no longer existed, their deceased corpses laid under rubble, some torn in half, some crushed. Wetness fell down your face like rain as you realized the situation before you.

“Y/N! KEEP MOVING!” Your girlfriend said as her black hair moved in the wind, her hand slightly touching your shoulder as she moved swiftly past you, her blades drawn and swinging at the Warhammer titan. Wiping your tears as you got a move on, avoiding the chaos to get a better look.

“But,” You studdered out, “what about the childre-”

A corpse of a little boy, no older than 8 laid beneath you, his head crushed open, a arm band on his shoul. “Why…”

“TONIGHT WE HONOR OUR SEVEN FALLEN COMRADES BY CELEBRATING ANOTHER STEP CLOSER TO ELDIAS VICTORY!” The soldiers all roared as Foster cheered them on.

“Is that everyone?” Jean called out after helping you on the aircraft, his hand in your pulling you up. “I think so!” You called back to him from above. Connie yanked you in the airship, fully getting inside as you rolled on the floor. “Geez con, mind being a bit more careful? Since where’d you get all that strength from?” Groaning out, you complained.

“Too much strength for a bald man anyways,” Sasha Joked around as Connie punched her in the arm, letting out a laugh. “Thanks you guys,” You softly smiled, “I really needed that,”

“Mission been hard for ya?” The bearded man questioned. “Yeah, really hard,”

“We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that bozo looking guy in the back with Captain, Armin and Mikasa,” The brunette female said in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she fixed her gear, adjusting it. “I know right,” Jean commented, “We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him,”

“I’m just glad I still have you two,” The guy with barely any hair said, hugging Jean and Sasha. “You guys are important to me,”

He glanced up at you who was removing your heavy gear from your side, “And you too y/n,”

“Well thank you for making me feel included,” You joked around. Standing up as you lower the bottom of your shirt, “Welp, Imma go see where Eren is and try and get some sympathy for the innocent lives he killed out of him,”

“I doubt the suicidal maniac will have any to spare,” Jean rolled his eyes as a you smiled at his stupid remark. “Hopefully over dinner we can all talk and catch up while they're interrogating Eren ,”

“I Hope we’re having meat tonight!” The snack loving girl exclaimed, a glare of joy and hope in her eyes. “Me too we haven't had any in ages,” You crossed your arms. Jean gave you a soft smile before saying, “Later Y/n,”

“Alrighty,” You said, closing the door behind you as you stepped into the room where he was being held. Your girlfriend, Mikasa gave you a glance and a smile, love in her eyes as you responded by doing the same. Clearing your throat before looking away as the blush rose upon your faec you placed your eyes on Eren.

You stood next to Mikasa and Armin looking at the boy who you knew, but it was apparent to all of you that you no longer did. “I see the whole gang is here,” Zeke said, trying to kid around with his brother. “Shut up,” Captain spoke at the blonde with glasses, his legs steaming as well as Eren’s. Both of their hands were tied behind their back, Eren looked numbly to the floor, no expression to appear besides coldness. “You did put on a show Levi cutting off my limbs like that,”

“I’m glad I still, a shitbag like you doesn't deserve them,”

Levi glared down at the man, anger in his tone as he harshly spoke to him. “Eren,” You stated his name as Jaeger looked up at you, “Why did you decide to do this?” The brunette looked to the side, his once glowing emerald eyes now stone cold. “...” No words came out of his mouth, his expression not changing either. “Did you do this in a rage like you always do?”

So many unanswered questions roamed your head, dying for an answer. “We haven't seen you in months!” You shouted, getting angry with him. “And then you send us letters, demanding us to help you with this-!”

“I never begged you to do this y/n,” Eren finally spoke, his head still hanging low. “You basically did! You knew we would come, and you knew Mikasa would as well, and the rest of us!” Your lips spat at him in ignorance and frustration.

“You did all this for what use? What was the outcome of this besides getting Zeke!?”

Yet again no words. You sighed as you mumbled an “by the walls,” In frustration. “God this is no use is it?” your fingers pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Is this all a part of your revenge on the Marleyans?! On Annie Bertoldt and Reiner?!”

“Yes it is,” His hair hung in his face, messy and greasy locks tangled together. He looked like he was in terrible condition, malnourished and unhygienic.

“...wow, I can’t believe you.. Innocent kids over people who wronged you, Is death all you talk about?”

He nodded his head, glaring into your eyes as you paused, then looked at your feet. Mikasa grabbed your hand, holding it. “Thats enough y/n, he isn’t going to cooperate anyways,” She said in a calm manner, trying to avoid any argumenments.

“I doubt any-”

The sound of the heavy metal door coming open stopped you dead in your sentence, Jean came into the room along with 2 kids you had never seen before. His hand on their shoulders as the kids arms were tied together with rope.

“Jean?” Mikasa said, looking at him with a confused expression on her face. “Who are these brats?” The captain asked, annoyance in his voice.

“These kid’s snuck on board using Lobvo’s gear,” He explained.

“And this one,” Jean pointed to the brown haired girl, “Shot Sasha,”

A flame of shock came over you all as you looked at each other, Armin and Mikasa rushed out the room, tears building up in their eyes. You followed along with them as you whipped open the door.

“SASHA!” Mikasa said, running over to the injured woman and crouching to the ground. Armin went next to her side, Shaking her barely conscious body. “Are we...eating yet…..?” She whispered, a croak in her voice.

“SASHA PLEASE STAY WITH US!” Armin yelled, cupping her cheek and sobbing. All you could do was stand there, shock upon your face and your mouth agape.

“Why are you guys…..being...so...loud..”

Tears and sniffles along with screams of plea flooded the room, just as how it was outside. You put your hand over your mouth, slowly backing away as you cried to yourself. Backing against the wall and tears streaming down your face as you curled yourself into a ball.

“When will this ever end?”

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 65 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 98 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 94 Responses

Although a bit muted compared to last week, the response to this episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 96.8% of people giving it a rating of 3 and higher. MAPPA’s on a roll!

Amazing!!!!

i just wanna see more!! 20 minutes is not enough. its too good

Awesome episode! Great pacing and the cgi was not too noticeable.

WAAAAYYYYY TOO HYPE

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 93 Responses

Mikasa and Levi took the spotlight this week! 30.1% of viewers felt most hyped up by Mikasa’s “explosive” reintroduction to the anime, while 22.6% were stoked to see Levi take on Porco to save Eren. 18.3% were most hyped by the Survey Corps taking on the Jaw Titan and the subsequent cliffhanger.

THE CGI CONTINUES TO BE A POINT OF CONTENTION. BE HONEST, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE EXECUTION OF CGI SO FAR THIS SEASON? 93 Responses

Just under 50% of responses seemed to indicate that they thought MAPPA was doing very well with the CGI utilized. A little over 15% stated that although it was not their favorite, they understood that it could be a lot worse. Other responses (in order) were being neutral about the CGI, not liking it, but understanding the need for its usage and folks who adamantly rejected 3D animation. 

I actually prefer CGI titans because of the way their movements looks, it looks almost slower, to me it fits very well with how the big titans are. Im not an anime guy at all so ive never seen cgi in other anime but i really like the way Mappa's CGI looks, it blends in very well. I dont like CGI people though, the shot with Jean throwing the marly soldier off the rooftop i didn't like very much.

I feel horrible saying this believe me... but I really vibed with the CGI up until this episode. I think maybe because it's the first time its been used on humans (OPM) rather then titans. I'm not massively put off though, I really apreciate the efforts this episode must have taken. TY Mappa

The episode is great no doubt, my only concern is the CG personally, as a 3D artist myself, I think I would prefer an all 2D medium like the battle at Stohess. Using 3D is fine as long as it blends seamlessly to the background, like kengan ashura, it's not perfect but bearable.

I honestly think that 2D will always 100% be better than cgi but I can understand why mappa is using cgi

It was fine in the other episodes, but in this episode, it looked overused and bit bad

HOW WAS EREN’S ROOFTOP SWAN DIVE? 94 Responses

When it came down to Eren’s swan rooftop dive (“Like a fallennn angel…”), the majority seemed to be impressed, with 68% giving it a score of 4 or higher. It was not a monolithic opinion however and many seemed also rated it poorly. Do better, Eren!

WHICH RETURNING CHARACTER’S ENTRANCE WAS YOUR FAVORITE IN THIS EPISODE? 94 Responses

The Survey Corps has returned! Of these reappearances, viewers most enjoyed Mikasa’s (48.9%), Levi’s (31.9%) and Sasha’s (14.9%) the most. Jean and Connie got a little less love, though we’re sure people were still happy to see them!

WHICH RETURNING CHARACTERS HAS THE BEST GLOW UP? 93 Responses

It would appear that the slight plurality sees Mikasa as having the best glow up out of the cast, followed by (in order) Eren, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Floch and Levi. The Old Captain doesn’t like to change up his style, we suppose. 

Eren didn't have a glow up- he had a glow down.

Mikasa can stomp on me please god

OF ALL THE ORIGINAL CAST, WE STILL HAVE NOT SEEM ARMIN, HANGE OR HISTORIA YET. WHICH OF THE THREE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING NEXT? 93 Responses

In relation to the previous question, we still haven’t seen 3 major members of the cast. Armin, Hange and Historia. When we asked which of the three you were most looking forward to seeing next, the slight majority (52.7%) expressed their excitement for seeing Armin again, followed by 11.8% wanting to see Hange most. Some others have also expressed their desire to see Historia again. 17.2% simply could not choose and 10.8% stated that they simply didn’t care about the 3 characters.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE WARHAMMER TITAN? 90 Responses

The Warhammer received an overwhelmingly positive response, with the majority expressing much excitement over both its design and powers. 15.6% noted that the design was a bit too creepy for their liking, but the powers were awesome. And on the flip side, 10% noted the Titan’s design was rather cool, in contrast to its rather OP ability. A select few did not enjoy either aspect. 

Would probably enjoy it more if it belonged to someone that likely is not going to be just cannon fodder

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW UNIFORMS? 92 Responses

The Survey Corps returned sporting new uniforms to much fanfare. 30.4% of respondents really enjoy the upgrade, finding the suits to be badass. 23.9% couldn’t find the words and just settled for pure hype. 20.7% enjoy the new uniforms just as much as they enjoy the classic uniforms. 12% felt it was a much needed upgrade, though 10.9% don’t care at all about the uniform change.

I like both but I prefer the old design

EREN SAYS TO MIKASA, “YOU GUYS ACTUALLY CAME.” THIS IS FOLLOWED UP BY MIKASA ASKING EREN TO COME HOME. DOES THIS INSINUATE THAT EREN WENT TO THE MAINLAND ON HIS OWN? 90 Responses

The circumstances of the Survey Corps’ presence on the mainland continues to be a mystery. When we asked about whether Eren was there alone or not a few episodes ago, the majority believed that he was either there alongside the Survey Corps or was sent there by them. Overall, the feelings seem to be the same (that Eren came alongside the Survey Corps). 45.6% think that Mikasa’s words may have some other meaning and that things are way too planned out to be coincidence. 18.9% believe that Eren did go rogue, while 15.6% think that Eren didn’t necessarily go rogue, but wasn’t working with them for a while either. The remaining 20% have already been spoiled on this particular plot point.

THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO SEEMS TO PARALLEL THE BREACH OF SHIGANSHINA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS EVENT IN COMPARISON? 92 Responses

Now that both sides of the conflict have had their rude awakening, we asked how you guys felt about the two events comparatively. 33.7% feel that both attacks were tragic, but still feel more empathy toward the Eldians on Paradis than they do toward those who were raised on Marley. At a tie, 22.8% of respondents felt that the victims of the Liberio attack got what was coming with them, while another 22.8% felt about the same amount of sympathy for the victims on both sides. 10.9% feel this is way worse than what happened in Shiganshina and feel more sympathy for the victims in Liberio. 

I am yet to know the goals behind this attack.

Marley did this countless times so I don’t feel bad for them. I kind of feel for eldians tho bc they are brainwashed from a young age to give up their lives for a country who doesn’t give a shit about them. 

Honestly they deserve what Eren is doing to them. Excluding Falco, no one outside of Paradis has earned my sympathy, even with the additional context.

SADLY, UDO AND ZOFIA DID NOT SURVIVE THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEIR DEATHS? 91 Responses

Udo and Zofia have joined the ranks of characters who tagged along with the main cast for a while only to be killed off for character development. 25.3% anticipated at least one of them to die, but not both. Another tie on this poll, 24.2% stated that they were disappointed and was hoping to see more of them, while another 24.2% didn’t care about them at all. 14.3% are happy to ditch the focus on them in favor of more familiar characters, and 8.8% feel pure and utter devastation. 

Good riddance Warrior scum

Sad but allows for Gabi’s development 

sad but okay. death is common in this anime.

EREN AND FLOCH’S LAST INTERACTION IN S3 WAS A VERY TENSE ARGUMENT. NOW IT SEEMS FLOCH IS DEDICATED TO EREN’S CALL TO ACTION, SHIFTING THE “NECESSARY DEVIL” STATUS FROM ERWIN ONTO HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE NOW? 91 Responses

Eren and Floch were anything but BFF’s at the closing of season 3. Now Floch seems to be wholly devoted to Eren’s cause… What changed? 28.6% believe that nothing has actually changed in terms of their relationship, but that Floch simply just latched onto Eren’s fight in need of a new devil. 23.1% feel that they still aren’t friends, but are in more comfortable “ally” territory. 15.4% aren’t sure what to make of it. Smaller handfuls feel that they either grew to become friends and/or co-conspired to attack Liberio together. 22% are already spoiled on the details. 

Floch is easily persuaded...and annoying 🤷‍♀️

WE SEE GABI GRAB THE GUARD’S FUN AFTER WITNESSING SASHA KILL HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK MIGHT HAPPEN? 90 Responses

Gabi moves headstrong into the fight, wanting to play her part in defending her hometown. A large chunk of anime only viewers have been spoiled on future developments for her character. But for those still in the dark - 24.4% feel that she will successfully kill a member of the Survey Corps. 21.1% aren’t sure what to expect, while 10% think she will only manage to injure someone in the Survey Corps. Smaller amounts feel she won’t be successful in any capacity or may even die herself.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Epic episode, survey corps come back, OH YEAH, but I wished they didn’t use CGI on humans and bettered the CGI on Titans.

It really makes me sad how Eren is continuing the cycle of revenge by killing innocent Marleyan civilians, but it makes sense for his character. 

Real cool ep but w h e r e a r m i n

It sucks that I like the warriors and the Corp bc both of them are victims in different way so seeing them have to go head to head sucks. They all deserve better

SO great I loved it! However, I missed Reiner, Falco, and Zeke. I hope they're okay :-) RIP Udo and Zofia :-(

I think I need more dialogue between the old crew to really settle back in with them. I kinda believe that Mappa's still trying to 'click', they obviously can't just get it right immediately. Other then that I loved the titan scenes, more than ODM scenes 😔

This was a great episode and I was literally vibrating in my seat from excitement! I think MAPPA is doing a great job with the animation and the music works really well with the action. Can’t wait for the rest of the season!

I miss wit studio

Willy seems to have his first daughter really early, he looks like 30 !

I’d say the episode as a whole is a solid 8-9/10, the cgi in some parts really ruins the moment for me

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 88 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

[nat-20s]

((#the magnus archives#i think a lot about early tim and martin having a fun sibling dynamic and i cry what of it)) oh please, now i want more hcs/thoughts on this

OKAY OKAY OKAY

so this might just be bc ive been bining king falls am so im like SIBLING DYNAMICS  and also me being OBESSED with what ive seen from the live show and also this is rapidly coming just all of the archival assistance squad  BUT pre series time:

-Tim saw this 20 year old in a graphic tshirt and hoodie tied around his waist lying through his teeth about being 26 and was like “i am ABSOLUTELY going to adopt him”

-Sasha was like ur 24 tim he’s older than you and he very conspiratorily whispers back is he? Because EVERYTHING about him screams college freshman

-Tim strolls up to him, wraps an arm around his shoulder, and is like “Martin, babe, I am TAKING you under my wing” and Martin without blinking is like “tim im older than you so?”

-”Sure you are martin”

-It becomes a running joke between them

-Tim is the first person Martin comes out to in the institute, because Tim is Very Openly Bi and Martin does it kind of? by accident? by making a Joke and Tim is like ???!!! are u??? and Martin is like yes??? and tim is like !!!!!!!

-Tim and Sasha take Martin to his first pride and they all probably cry a lil

-Martin does Something that reminds Tim of Danny and Tim is like “haha fuck”

-Martin does end up trailing after Tim a lot because he falsely thinks Tim is a Real Adult and also it’s nice??? to have someone looking out for him???

-Martin is like I MUST infodump about SOMETHING time to go find Tim or Sasha

-Sasha is the one Martin goes to for life advice, Tim is the one he goes to went he needs to Rant, they both go to him for reassurances and The Worlds Best Hugs

-When the three of them have drinks together and it gets to late they always crash at Tim’s apartment bc his is the nicest and a;lso has the most comfortable couches

- Tim has gone with Martin to visit his mother exactly once and was like hmm. I hate her.

-Martin during season 1 in particular will go up to Tim and be like “I need you to yell at Jon” and Tim is like “Absolutely! What am I yelling at him for and why can’t you do it?” and Martin just replies, “Because Jon doesn’t hate and desperately want to fire you and because he’s being an idiot that needs to be yelled at”

[ghostradiostoryhour]

The Fig

I walked up to the bar where Lucas had said to meet him, double-checking the location on my phone. This place looked beat to hell, run down—hardly the luxe cocktail bar my editor had mentioned in our meeting earlier that day. Maybe the team was hazing me? I was still pretty new on the bar beat, and I wouldn’t put it past them—my company’s culture could get a little frat-like at times, and I was the first woman on their team of six reporters. 

Maybe some of them were jealous of my “acceleration,” the somewhat inscrutable metric for success that our CEO had put into place last quarter. Whatever the magic formula was, though, I had cracked it with my first exclusive. My coverage of a new SoHo queer bar’s take on a Corpse Reviver #2 that was in its own right revolutionary—the secret ingredient was reduced rhum cotton candy stacked high atop the tiki mug the drink was served in—had gone viral only three hours after the piece had posted to the site. Lucky for me, I was dating the owner, a semi-famous mixologist renowned for her innovative drink presentation—Sasha had been kind enough to let me write about her. 

We hadn’t been dating long, only about a week or so, but her pull was strong on me. Every moment spent gone from her was a dull ache in my chest, a burning, lower. So being here, at this bar, where I was certain I was about to get punked by my male coworkers—on a Monday, no less, the only day that Sasha’s bar was closed . . . I felt like a sucker. But, as I looked at the bar’s faded sign again—it was called The Fig—something crawled through me. Danger? No, it couldn’t be. I was a bad bitch. Tall, thick. Anybody with the idea that I might be easy pickin’s was quickly dispatched with a scowl and a straightening of my shoulders. 

Whatever these boys had in store for me wasn’t enough to scare me. So then, what was this feeling? Interest? The place, as dilapidated as it seemed on first glance, was alluring in its way. It was situated at the crux of a weird intersection, bounded on either side by small streets that ran alongside three bigger, much busier thoroughfares, to create a chaotic clump of five streets. Music poured down from a small, empty rooftop that was overgrown with lush plants and flowers. Along one of these streets, the bar had no windows, just a solid concrete wall that had been decorated with a huge mural of some strange bug. It looked like a bee or a beetle, but with a thin, long head and translucent wings shaped like those of a butterfly. A thin, whip-like appendage that was almost twice the length of the bug itself extruded from its abdomen, right in the place where a stinger might be. The front of the bar looked out onto the corner of the intersection, at the meeting point of the two roads. The one window in the front of the bar held a single neon sign that read PSYCHIC in cursive yellow and red. Patterned lace curtains were draped behind it, making it hard to see into the bar.

I stepped up to the door, and the same strange feeling coursed through me again. Like when I had touched the bare outlet in my aunt’s guest bathroom as a child. Involuntarily, I stopped dead. Weird. 

I had to push myself forward on the bar’s threshold. Lifting my hand to the door knob felt like moving my arm through thick molasses. My phone dinged. Sasha.

6:55 PM

bb have fun at the bar. hurry back to me. im waiting ;)

I smiled at the text, then shook my head. What was I doing? I just needed to get this over with so I could get over to Sasha’s. 

Ignoring the feeling of wrongness prickling my skin, I put my hand on the doorknob, turned it, and stepped into the bar. 

Inside, it was a garish, dingy pink, like the inside of a mouth, some mucous membrane. Baroque decor—a limp looking beige silk sofa sagged in one corner, in another a set of mismatched embroidered armchairs gathered around a spindly iron coffee table painted white and flaking. A long unused fireplace carved from gray marble and festooned with cherubs and angel faces displayed an iron rack full of half-lit, melted pillar candles. 

It was an oddly feminine place for Lucas’s crew to choose for a drink with the bros. He and the rest of his cohort had already arrived. They were sitting at the bar, hunched over drinks, their black-suited backs to me. Even the bar itself was overly frilly, draped in beads and lace and glowing a pale peach, thanks to some recessed lighting within the bar itself. The color was nearly the same shade as the glittery highlighter Sasha brushed across her high cheekbones every morning. No doubt choosing this place in particular was meant as some joke about my gender.

I rolled my eyes and strode up to the bar, clapped Lucas on the back. He was easily distinguished by the premature gray in his dark undercut. 

He spun around. “You made it!” He grinned stupidly. Looked like the group had cut out a bit early to make it here with enough time to fully cash in on the happy hour specials, which ran until 8. 

“Yep,” I said. “How’s things? You wanted to meet?”

One of the others, Brad or something—we hadn’t really met yet, laughed aloud at a joke the bartender had made. The rest of the guys leered at me, in various states of drunk. 

“Siddown!” Lucas crooned, and I took a seat at the empty stool next to him. 

The unsettling feeling from before hadn’t faded, and I had already assessed the room—exits to the back right and the way I’d come a decrepit set of iron stairs that twirled up to the rooftop deck I’d seen from the street. Club mixes of 80s pop lilted from the speakers in the other corners. There were a few other patrons in the bar that I could see, coupled off by the front window, in a small clump by the sofa. The air smelled sickly, hung thick beneath the gaudy chandelier lighting. It tasted like fermented peaches—like farmhouse cider, or a funky saison. Sasha and I were both into craft beer and small batch brewing. 

Before I could say anything, Lucas had motioned to the bartender, who was presenting me with an acid green up cocktail. 

“Uh, thanks,” I said, immediately wary, but trying to be cool. Everyone was acting a little strange—I had been sure they’d have jumped on me right away, roasted me for my masculine look, or my success, or my general otherness, but they were all acting pretty chill, if a bit loopy. Maybe the invitation had been genuine after all, and this was just how they partied. 

Lucas smiled, his features a little droopy—how long had they been here?—and patted me on the shoulder. 

“Not always that we get a noob with acceleration!” he said loudly, and at this, the other guys turned and started to pay attention. 

“Oh. Yeah,” I said, not wanting to play it down—though if I were with my girl friends, I would have. I straightened up. “Well, I know what I’m doing, so.”

The oldest guy in the group besides Lucas snorted. His name was Todd, and he’d been with the company for three years now—long for this business. Everyone knew that he was struggling with acceleration. 

“You don’t know shit,” he said. His words were rude, but his tone was good-natured enough. “None of us do. Even the CEO, Roderick. No idea what the public wants. It’s all this PC culture, ruining everything. Can’t even have an opinion on something anymore.”

I frowned. Of course he was one of those. Todd downed his drink, signalled for another.

Arun shook his head. “Shut up, man. Don’t you realize that makes you sound like an asshole?” He looked at me, and I blinked. His face seemed blurry, or—no. It seemed to be sagging. I smiled, trying to not to stare. He kept talking. “The girl clearly knows what she’s doing,” he said. His lip somehow curling as the rest of his face wilted. “I mean, sleeping with your sources is bound to help you get deep inside of the story.” 

Brad laughed again, a guffaw that sounded almost cartoonish. “Have you seen her girl?” he slurred. “Not really the marrying type, but damn she is fun to look at.”

Lucas waggled his eyebrows at me. “Yeah, thanks for the pictures, too.”

Damn Chai’s photography skills, I thought. Our publication was known for its amazing photos. Chai, our lead photographer, was truly gifted, which meant that she’d captured Sasha behind the bar at just the right moment—her cheeks flushed with heat, her golden eyes focused, perfectly lit, as she seared an orange rind with a newly struck match. Tiny beads of sweat like dew at her brow and collarbone. I guess for these guys it helped that she liked to wear low cut dresses while she worked. In the feature image for my piece, Sasha had looked like fucking Tessa Thompson. The thought of Sasha, of that picture, sent me back to the text she had sent not ten minutes ago—

hurry back to me. im waiting ;)

The guys were cheering and high fiving each other, practically drooling. This was nonsense. I took a sip of my drink and winced—the lime green cocktail tasted bitter and reeked of ethanol. 

“What’s in this?” I asked the bartender, but they had their back to me and didn’t respond. I could barely make out their features in the mercury-stained mirror that hung above the dusty bottles of liquor behind the bar. 

“Hey,” Lucas practically shouted into my ear. “How’d you end up with a babe like that, anyway? You’re just a dyke.”

I whipped around, ready to slap him, but then I saw his face. 

His features were totally distorted, almost as though his flesh were melting, like the wax of the candles in the fireplace, like Arun’s face, but worse, far worse. The pink sockets of his eyes grew as his bottom eyelids sagged, his eyeballs, horrifyingly spherical, jostling as the space they occupied shifted. 

I gasped and jumped back, toppled over. I thought I was going to fall off of the barstool, but it came with me, adhered to me by some beige, creeping slime. I yelped and pulled myself from the chair, slapped at the gunk on my pant seat. A faint hissing noise came from the caustic goop. 

The guys were jeering, making fun of my start and cackling to themselves about the fall. I couldn’t bear to look closely at them. I couldn’t bear to see Lucas’s face again, not like that—all dripping and disfigured. He was a dick, but he was still a person. At least I hoped so. 

I took my phone from my pocket, checked the time. 

11:55 PM.

How could it be so late? I dimmed the screen, pushed the button to illuminate it again, and the time was the same, but now there was a series of messages from Sasha as well. 

8:01 PM

how’s it going?

9:10 PM

bb

9:10 PM

do you think you’ll come over tonight?

9:15 PM

i hope they’re being nice to you

10:45 PM

Ro, are you okay? starting to worry…

11:32 PM

Ro seriously this isn’t funny

Fuck. How had so much time passed? Did Lucas fucking roofie me? No, I thought. No, I had been drugged at a club before. This wasn’t how it felt. 

A moaning sound from the bar and I snapped my head up, looked dead on as the bartender, who had no discernable face, I could see now—just a blank oval of skin tone painted on like nail polish. I watched in horror as the face color melted away to reveal a perfectly polished, nearly opaline skull. Only the skull was no longer a skull at all, not really, but instead a shined white sphere, growing ever smaller as the flesh color drained from its surface. Beneath, the body writhed and jerked as the last spasms of life left the bartender and great hunks of muscle flopped down from their arms onto the floor, which, I noticed then, was crawling with the same slime that had stuck me to the chair. I wanted to run, but I was frozen in place by the spectacle before me. 

The bartender had become more of a skeleton than anything, but a strange scream erupted from the body as its shined white limbs began to shorten and curl. I looked around at the other patrons of the bar, then—Lucas and his crew were all melting in a similar fashion—had they given me acid? But no, I could hear them all screaming, set to the overly positive backbeat of Tiffany and the B-52s. The bartender had become a kind of grotesque, ultra foo foo coat rack made of bone, and Lucas, Todd, Brad, and Arun seemed to be melding together, their flesh melting onto the barstools where they sat in such a way that they began to resemble an ornate, blood-red chaise lounge. They wailed together, and Lucas reached out to me. I screamed, and remembered myself. 

I looked down. My legs were throbbing with the beige slime, which stretched almost all the way over my knees. “Fuck!” I yelled. 

No way in hell I was going to become part of some shitty Williamsburg dive bar. Fuck that.

I ran, or tried to run, for the door. I was moving, that was good, but the most I could manage was a determined kind of lurch. I trudged forward, my heart beating hard in my ears, as I focused on the George Michael lyrics pouring from the bar’s speakers. I willed myself to move, to keep moving, to never stop, even as I neared the door. 

My phone rang in my hand. Sasha. But I couldn’t answer. I had to focus. 

The couple at the table near the window was melting also, their shared skin flowing together like spilled shades of paint over the wire table and white wicker chairs. I looked away. 

The floor of the bar bucked, then, as if it knew I was trying to escape, and I crumpled to the ground. The slime overtook me, moving much faster than it had before. With a yell, I pushed myself up to my feet and ripped my torso away from the hungry slime.

In the corner of my eye, the couple at the table—or the chrysalis-like shape they had morphed into—bubbled up once. I stared, transfixed, even as I worked toward the door. The chrysalis throbbed again, then shook violently. Then it cracked open with a sick noise of breaking bone. 

But what emerged from the chrysalis was almost too monstrous to describe. 

It was a giant wasp, or something like a wasp, black and shined and buzzing, still new and dripping with whatever amniotic fluid it had emerged from. Was it the couple’s blood? I gagged, but still I pushed toward the door. 

It didn’t seem like it could fly yet, because it crawled on almost human arms up the wall of the bar, and onto the cieiling, hanging upside-down between me and the way out. I could barely make out the couple’s faces, stretched and distorted, in the wasp’s wings, mouths still working in distress even as they melded slowly into the wasp. A long, black, whip-like stinger grew out of its abdomen, a near-perfect echo of the mural I had seen earlier, outside. 

I screamed again, this time more out of desperation than anything. I had more to do before I died. I had more stories to tell. I had Sasha, sure, but I wasn’t certain that we were meant to be anything real yet. I wasn’t done loving her and I wasn’t done meeting people. I had worked harder than this, dammit! I deserved better than to be yet another woman who had gone out for drinks with male colleagues and had never come back. 

The wasp crawled closer to the door, and the beige slime crept over my arms and shoulders, nearing the tips of my fingers. I felt the structure of my face start to shift as I lunged for the door. My hand closed around the doorknob just as the wasp descended. 

I closed my eyes and threw my whole weight forward into the door. A terrible buzzing filled my head, and I hit pavement. 

The door slammed closed behind me. 

For a moment, I thought I was dead, surely eaten by the bar, by the wasp, gone forever, just another queer casualty everyone would cry out for on Twitter and then promptly forget about. But I was still alive and whole, despite the state of my outfit, which was pocked with holes all over, as though I’d been living in a closet full of moths for the last five years. But the slime was gone. My phone was in my hand. 

Breathing hard, I checked the time. 5:20 AM. 

I laughed aloud at my luck, at my existence, and the few drunk stragglers on the street jumped, looked at me funny. I turned back to look at the bar. All of the lights were off, save for the neon PSYCHIC sign glinting yellow and red in the front window. The sky had started to lighten, and as I stared into the window, wondering if what I’d been through, if what had happened to Lucas and everyone else in the bar had been real, I saw the dark shape of a giant insect crawl across the window. 

It paused there, as if regarding me, and then crawled back into the shadows of The Fig. 

A shiver ran through me. I felt drunk and wobbly. I let out a huge breath, and then I took out my phone to text Sasha. She was never going to believe me. 

As I typed, I noticed something strange. My thumb was changing. Little bumps appeared and then they grew into small, sharp points. It wasn’t painful, not really, but it was startling, and I pocketed my phone, looked closer at my hands. The bumps were all over my hands and forearms, bubbling up and then hardening into hair-thin points. If I didn’t look too closely, I could almost imagine that they were hair. 

And then the growing stopped. I touched one of the prickles gingerly and pulled back. They were sharp, alright, and they covered my arms from the elbow to the backs of my knuckles and thumbs. 

The door to the bar swung open, then, and a gust of the rank-smelling rotten air whooshed out toward me. I covered my face with my arms and closed my eyes. When I heard the door slam and the wind stopped, I looked up. The bar was closed. Nothing had changed. 

But then I looked down at my arms. A fine beige dust coated the new spines on my forearms. I tried brushing it off, once, twice, and then frantically, but it didn’t budge. I looked at The Fig, at the wasp mural on the wall, and then I remembered something I’d learned back in elementary school science class. Mutualism. How some species depended on each other in particular ways. I hadn’t made it out, not really. I had, but not of my own volition. 

This was how it spread. I wasn’t a survivor. I was a pollinator.