#I really. Really hate the direction they’re going with the lyrics these days

[angeltannis]

finally listened to the new Nightwish song and lol. Is this like. Thinly-veiled anti-mask rhetoric

[zoesmp4]

FALLING BEHIND “everybody’s falling in love but im falling behind.” carl grimes x fem!reader

tags: fluff, kissing, use of y/n, e2l

@p1stach1oss + @gr7mes !! we both did laufey inspired carl fics so check out hers <3

a/n: this is my longest fic ever omg 😭 teehee i love adding him with cold hands🙏 this fic is inspired by falling behind by laufey, the lyrics r in between paragraphs or they’re in italic and bold !! i don’t know how to feel ab this one 😭

you felt like cupid was against you. “he called me pretty y/n. he called me pretty.” enid says, clutching your hand in excitement. you notice how the sunlight hits her face perfectly, no wonder she’s got ron all over her.

and my best friend’s found a new guy

you tried hard. really hard. it was practically impossible for you to get a boyfriend. sure, you had better things to worry about, but it was hard to stop thinking about it when you saw couples everywhere you went.

you were honestly desperate at this point. it was pathetic, really pathetic. but you just couldn’t manage anymore. you wanted to have someone who would let you cry into their chest when you were low, someone who would bend down to tie your shoelaces when they were undone, someone who would love you.

like a normal teenage girl, it was no surprise that you had a crush. of course, to your luck, you didn’t have even a slim chance with him. you were naive, wanting a boyfriend but crushing on the boy who hated your guts. you had fallen in love with carl grimes.

you and the boy weren’t exactly best buddies. when you were younger, he would tease you every chance he got. it’s not so different now. carl had made it his number one priority to make your life a living hell, and oh boy, was he successful.

he was tormenting you, but not in the way he’s trying to. he was all you could think about, and it was irritating. he could be making fun of you, and all you would focus on was his pretty face.

god, his eyes were like the midwinter sky, you could stare at them all day without getting bored. you often found yourself also gazing at his lips. they would be moving but you wouldn’t hear anything. it was hard to focus on things when you were around him.

“y/n? hello.. did you not hear what i just said?” enid says, eyebrows furrowing into confusion. “no, i did- sorry. go on.” you felt bad, you knew she was happy about this. so why couldn’t you just listen and be happy for her?

“whats distracting you so much? you’re really out of it today.” she says. “nothing, it’s not important.” “you sure? seemed pre-“ you watch as she glances behind you, talking instantly coming to a stop. you notice how her face flushes before she grins. you turn around to see ron, mr. prince charming, smiling at her.

“go, we can talk tomorrow.” you say, nodding your head in ron’s direction, a slight smile appearing on your face. “thank you, thank you, thank you! i promise we’ll talk later. you can tell me all about what you were daydreaming about.” enid exclaims, quickly rising to her feet, finishing her sentence as she walks over to the lanky boy.

lovers stroll without a care in sight

you were making your way back to your house, looking down at the ground beneath you. it’s not that you were completely devastated you didn’t have a lover of your own, but you were upset. “wait up loser!” you hear a voice call out from behind you.

your footsteps come to a halt and almost instantly, carl grimes is standing next to you. you felt your heart stop. play it cool y/n. “hi..?” you wanted to smack yourself right there and then. hi?? hi?!! you were so basic. “what’s got you all quiet? you’re usually so loud, you’re kinda scaring me.” he jokes, noticing how your usual smile was turned into a slight frown.

you found it kinda weird how he noticed the little things about you. you’d known each other for years now, and if you were being honest, he probably knew you better than enid did. boy, did it give you butterflies. if only he liked you back. “m’ okay. jus thinking about something. it’s really dumb though.” “everything you say is dumb. what’s up?” there it is. the daily insult.

“like i said, it’s nothing. don’t you have something better to do?” you say, looking him in the eye. “yeah, but i think this is pretty entertaining. now, can you please tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

ooh, this can’t be right

you knew he was probably being sarcastic, but his words still made your heart beat faster. anything carl said made your heart beat faster.

“you really wanna know?” “have i not made it obvious enough?” he says, rolling his eyes playfully. you sigh. “don’t laugh, but it’s like- everybody’s falling in love and i’m falling behind.” “what do you mean?” he was.. interested in what you had to say?

“everyone is getting their perfect fairytale and i’m just there. enid keeps talking about ron, how he calls her pretty and everything. they’re perfect. meanwhile, no one has even had a crush on me. it’s hopeless. i’m only getting older, i’ve never had a shoulder to cry on.”

carl looked at you with sympathy. “you’re really clueless aren’t you?” he asks, chuckling. “huh?” “y/n, who do you think left the comic you really wanted on your doorstep? who do you think got you the heart locket necklace thingy for your birthday? you’ve never thought about why they were just laying there?”

“i dont- i thought it was just enid surprising me or something.” “i dont think enid sneaked out the week before your birthday to make sure you got a good gift.” he said, looking straight into your eyes. “are you saying- that’s impossible.”

“i am in love with you. that’s what i’m saying.” your eyes widened, mouth parting slightly. “but- how? you’ve hated me since we were like- i don’t even know.” “who said i hated you?” okay. what was going on? carl grimes, the boy who’s been tormenting you since you could walk is confessing his feelings to you?

he sighs. “i-i know i’ve been an asshole. and i’m sorry. i’ve just been scared.” “scared..?” you ask, a puzzled look on your face. “terrified. y/n, you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever laid eyes on. i don’t- i didn’t know how to express my feelings. so i’ve just been being a pain in the ass. i know you don’t like me, and tha-“

you closed the space between you two, instantly laying your lips onto his. you didn’t know what was happening, but you knew you weren’t going to waste this opportunity.

one of his hands found its way to your back, pulling you closer. you felt the other one rest upon your cheek. the only thing that was surfacing in your mind was how good the sensation of his lips on yours felt. it was purely euphoric.

as soon as you both parted lips, you already missed it. “what does this mean? w-what are we?” you ask, voice quieter than usual. his cold hands reached for yours, a nervous expression on his face.

“i really wanna be yours. only if you’ll let me.” his words rang throughout your head, the words not processing.

“i really want you to be mine, carl grimes.”

“then i’m all yours, sweet girl.”

everybody’s falling in love

[seeingivy]

enchanted 

satoru gojo x f!reader 

**part of my debut concert event 

**part one of this fic here icymi (read before or its kinda confusing)

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

content: satoru and your parents are annoying, like in the last part, readers mom just says a bunch of mean shit (including comments on body image, etc), gojo being defensive of his wife but also corny asf, babies megumi + tsumiki having lil nightmares and wanting to sleep w their parents 

an: KING OF MY HEART IS ONE OF MY FAV FICS EVER. so glad the pookie who requested this asked for it bc I was so excited writing it. also corny lil enchanted lyrics are at the end. mister satoru gojo is enchanted to meet you and ur lil babies megumi and tsumiki just love you

- 

“Dr. L/N?” 

You look up from the computer, breaking away from your sheer focus of charting all the patients you just saw in the past hour (nine patients - which sounds mediocre, but in actuality is insanity on earth). 

Because when they’re sick, their parents ask a lot of questions. Which you understand and always honor - but that means you’re always running on a back log, running from one room to the next with no breaks in between. Satoru thinks that you’ll collapse on the floor one day while doing it. And you tell him that he’s praying on your downfall. 

“Yes, Sarah? What’s up?” 

“Your husband’s here to have lunch with you.” 

“Ah. I still haven’t caught up on my charting and I really need to-” 

You feel a hand on your shoulder, your senior advisor, Dr. Aoki, giving you a warm smile. She’s almost thirty years your senior - soft wrinkles and grey patches spread throughout her hair. 

And she really, really loves Satoru. Which you know because she doesn’t shut up about him, always going on about how sweet he is. 

“Go. Have lunch with your husband. I’ll finish off for you.” 

“Ah. Dr. Aoki, I can’t let you. Plus, you don’t even know-” 

“You take detailed notes. And I’m old, but I’m sure I can figure it out. Now go eat lunch with your sweet husband before I do it for you.” 

You smile, giving her hand a squeeze, before dragging your feet to the breakroom - suddenly hyperaware of the tension in the back of your knees, your shoulders, and the back of your eyes. Satoru’s waiting for you at the center table - two glass bento boxes and two iced coffee’s sitting on the table. 

He’s scrolling aimlessly on his phone and you’re more than positive that he’s playing Cut the Rope. A game Megumi begged him to download, but now he plays more than Megumi. Which just pisses Megumi off, because Satoru plays so far ahead in the game that Megumi can’t even remember which level it was he stopped at. 

You look down at the cup of iced coffee, Satoru’s handwriting inscribed on the side. 

pookie &lt;;3 

Bastard. He knows you hate it when you call him that.

Satoru looks up and smacks his phone down at the table as you take his side, placing your head flat against the clear, white table. Satoru immediately directs his hand to the back of your hair, his fingers soothing into the tense muscles in the back of your neck. 

“Hello my little workaholic.” 

“Good afternoon my little pain in the ass.” 

He laughs, lifting your head up as he opens up the boxes, sliding forward the food he made and sticking the fork in your hand. You look down at the line up - egg fried rice and a wild assortments of fruits and vegetables on the side. They’re all cut into sweet little shapes - the cucumbers in hearts, the strawberries in flowers. 

Right. You had tasked Satoru with making Megumi and Tsumiki’s lunches for one week when you were on the night call. When you had returned, all he did was scold you for making very boring lunches for Megumi and Tsumiki. 

Granted, you thought they weren’t half bad. You always made sure to give them a little treat - strawberry gummies for Tsumiki and sour candy for Megumi - and left sweet little notes in their lunch boxes, saying you were proud of them, that Megumi was going to do great on his presentation, and that Tsumiki looked pretty today. 

Satoru resolved the situation by heading to the store and buying the special little cutouts, shiny new metal tin boxes for Megumi and Tsumiki, and even glittery stationery to leave them both notes. 

Yeah and he never let you make their lunch again. He’d often drop by to the office to eat with you, since he knew that was the only time you would eat anything, and bring you by the third box he arranged with theirs in the morning. 

“Hard day, my love?” 

“Yeah, Satoru. And it’s not even over yet.” 

He places the fork in your hand again, instructing you to eat as you keep talking, tasking himself with mixing up the layers of the coffee he brought you. 

“What’s the point of working so hard? Didn’t you marry me for my money?” 

“Well, obviously but-”

“Hey!” 

“What?” 

“That’s so rude to admit. You should keep that type of stuff to yourself.” 

“Okay, Satoru. You married me as a cover for your girlfriend and-”

“Stop throwing that in my face! So you have one girlfriend and suddenly you’re the bad-” 

“It is when you’re married!” 

You both laugh, Satoru ruffling your hair, as he opens up the second box, sliding it towards you as you keep eating. 

“You don’t want, Toru?” 

“No. They’re both for you. You really do work too hard, Y/N.” 

“Well. Our parents could cut us off - we don’t exactly do everything they want. And I want to be self sufficient and be a good role model for-” 

“Tsumiki and Megumi. I know, my love. I’m just saying.” 

You lean into Satoru’s touch, placing your aching head against his shoulder as he leans over, pressing a kiss to the top of your forehead. You finish off your own box (and Satoru’s) and down your iced coffee (and half of Satoru’s, before he starts scolding you about healthy caffeine intakes). 

He gives you a sweet kiss goodbye, giving soft smiles to the rest of your coworkers, as you buckle in for the rest of your shift. 

- 

“Satoru.” 

“Hm.” 

“Look at what my mom texted me.” 

He untangles himself from his position - which is just using you as a third pillow - and peaks his head up, squinting his eyes at your phone in the dark. 

Your mom, heinous bitch she is, sent you a text reminding you about all the things you need to do for your dinner with the Gojo’s tomorrow. 

Wear a dress. Make sure it’s appropriate, but enough to keep a guy like Satoru interested. You don’t want your husband running off just because you’re boring him. 

Make sure to wear the wedding ring Satoru gave you, not the engagement. You’re going to look tacky otherwise. 

Fresh flowers, that haven’t bloomed yet. Don’t embarrass me by bringing flowers that’ll die in a day. 

And please don’t leave your hair fully down. It washes you out. 

Satoru glares at the camera, looking up at your face. He finds it hard to read you in situations like this. Because in all honesty, he knows that you hate your parents. But he doesn’t miss the way you act differently when it comes to them. 

Because when you’re mad at Satoru for not picking up Tsumiki on time or at Megumi for not telling you he had a project due tomorrow until nine pm, you get a reasonable amount of mad. Pink in the cheeks, a little bit of scolding, followed by fixing the problem and talking it out. 

But with them you, you don’t really talk about it. And he’s not sure if it’s because he’s not privy to the conversations that you have with them, but for some reason, he thinks there aren’t any. And that you just take it, when it’s them. 

Which he understands. Too well. That’s part of the reason he’s with you, in this bed right now. Cuddled up in your arms, pressing lazy kisses around your shoulder. 

Because his parents asked you to marry him. Because you told him you didn’t mind if he kept his own life outside of it, that you were just doing what you had to do. 

And now that he…loves you, parts of it all make him sad. That you’d take someone telling you what to do - telling you that you don’t look good with your hair down when you look good all the time and that you’re tacky or boring or- 

“Hey. Y/N.” 

“Hm, Satoru?” 

“You know I…love you right? For real?” 

“Yeah. You told me.” 

“But like, for real, okay? Not just because we’re…married or whatever. I actually really, really love you. You’re very pretty and you’re always so good with Megumi and Tsumiki and you’re so good at your job and-” 

You stop him in his tracks by cupping his face in his ands, quirking your head to the side. You lean down and peck at his lips, pressing your fingers into his dimples. 

“I love you too, Satoru but what’s this about?” 

He frowns, placing his head back in your lap as you start running your hands through his white locks of hair, soft to the touch. You can feel his cheeks are warm from his face lying against your bare legs and you can’t help but smile at the fact that he’s blushing. Even after one year of marriage (and eight months of real marriage), he’s still nervous around you. 

“I don’t know. Your mom’s just stupid. You’re not boring or tacky and you look very pretty with your hair down.” 

“Thank you, Toru. For getting so offended on my behalf. But I don’t care, let’s go to bed, yeah?” 

He nods, shuffling the sheets around you as he sprawls across the bed. One thing about Satoru, he has to touch you when he’s sleeping. 

Not in the…dirty way. It could be the coldest night of the year and he has his entire body weight on you, treating you like a stuffed animal he was sleeping with. Or it’s the hottest night of the year and he’s as far away as he can be from you - just placing his hand on your forearm or tangling one of his legs with yours. 

Touchy. Even when he’s asleep. 

After not even five minutes of sleep, you feel a tapping on your nose, your features crinkling up from the sensation. 

“Toru. Quit tickling me.” 

He murmurs back incoherently, tangling around in the sheets as a response. Right. Satoru also sleeps like the walking dead. And he can and will sleep anywhere and everywhere, almost instantly. It’s actually a talent. 

“Um. That wasn’t him.” 

You flutter your eyes open to find Megumi, standing awkwardly at your side. You immediately sit up, clicking on the light as Satoru starts groaning behind you, smacking his hand on the bed to get you to turn the light off. You look over at the clock and realize it’s well past three, meaning Megumi should have been asleep hours ago. 

“Megs. You okay?” 

“Uh, yeah. But Tsumiki, she’s like crying a lot. Usually, what I do works but she just won’t stop.” 

You shake Satoru at your side, his eyes finally fluttering open as he looks at you and Megumi in confusion. 

“Megumi-chan. You better be interrupting our sleep for something good.” 

“Satoru, stop it. Go get Tsumiki. Now. I think she’s crying.” 

Satoru immediately stands up, stalking out of the room as you turn back to Megumi, taking his tiny hands in yours. He looks like he usually does - blank expression on his face, avoiding eye contact, tiredness on his face. 

You wrap one of your hands around his cheek and squeeze, feeling his skin warm under your touch. 

“What do you think happened, Megs?” 

“She had a bad dream. Usually, we kind of just stay with each other till it stops. But, it didn’t really work.” 

“Have you had them while you were here? Or her?” 

“Yeah sometimes.” 

You can feel your heart clench in your chest and you immediately wrap Megumi in your arms, brushing your hands through his soft, black hair. You can still smell the shampoo in his hair from earlier, the fresh smell springing into your nose. They should be coming to you. Not each other. Megumi’s only five. And she’s just seven. 

“Megumi. You know you can come to us about that stuff. Both of you. And you should be because we know how to help you and-” 

You stop talking as Satoru walks into the room, craning your head to the side to survey the situation. Satoru’s carrying Tsumiki in his arms, something he doesn’t do very often, and you can hear her soft sniffles as he places her on the bed between you, rubbing circles into her back. 

You take the cup of water on the nightstand (that Satoru leaves out for you everyday so you can stay hydrated) and hand it to her, directing her to calm her breaths. She’s shaking so hard and her eyes are so pink that she can barely hold the glass, Satoru taking it from her hands and tilting her head up so she can drink it. 

You look over at Megumi, his eyes twitching as he looks at Tsumiki, and you direct him to sit on the bed next to you, right next to Tsumiki and in between you and Satoru. 

You never really know what to do in situations like this. And neither does Satoru. I mean hell, you’re only twenty-three and Satoru’s only twenty-four. And they haven’t been your kids for too long. 

Other parents, the ones who come into your practice, talk about how they know somethings wrong. They can feel it in their gut. Their parental instinct. But you don’t have any of that, especially not with Tsumiki and Megumi. 

And you know it’s not something you can learn and something that just comes from being their parents, but you sincerely wish it was. Because Tsumiki and Megumi deserve to have someone who can read them like that, who knows what’s wrong with them, and talks for them when they don’t know how. And-

Satoru opens up his arms, with Tsumiki crawls into his lap and curls herself up against his chest. She looks so small, barely covering his entire frame as she hiccups into his chest, pushing the back of her hand against his eyes. 

Satoru beckons Megumi to join her and he awkwardly crawls up, the two of them nestled in Satoru’s arms. Maybe you spoke too soon. Because it always seems like Satoru knows what he’s doing. 

“You too, goofy.” 

You roll your eyes as you scoot closer to them, laying your head against Satoru’s shoulders as you start running your hands through Tsumiki’s hair, rubbing soft circles into the small of her back like Satoru was earlier. 

“Hi Miki.” 

“H-hi Y/N.” 

“How you feeling, sweet girl?” 

“O-okay.” 

You soften your hands in her hair, focusing on braiding the ends as you talk, the three of them hanging on to every word you say. 

“Miki, Megs. I know you’ve…been together for a long time. Before me and Satoru came around. And I’m sure you have your own ways of…being there for each other. But, you can let us be there for you too, you know?” 

You feel Tsumiki stiffen under your touch and you pull back, holding the braid in place on your head. 

“I don’t mean to let each other go. You’re siblings and that’s one of the most important relationships you can have. But just know, Satoru and I can be smart sometimes. Well, I can. I don’t really know about him.” 

“Hey.” 

Tsumiki and Megumi laugh, which stops Satoru’s protests all together. It’s working. And Satoru’s jealous of you, because as always, you know the right thing to say. To get them to smile again, tell you what’s wrong. And sure, you’ve always had that effect on Satoru but he loves that you can do it with them too. You’ve clearly got this parenting thing more figured out than him, he thinks. 

“But, we can help you too, you know? I’m a big girl. I can deal with whatever you give me.” 

Tsumiki turns to the side, crawling out of Satoru’s lap as she crawls into yours, squeezing herself in your arms. 

“Th-thanks, Y/N. But maybe not right now?” 

“Whenever you want, okay? Let’s just go to bed now, it’s late.” 

“Can I sleep with you, Y/N? And Satoru?” 

Satoru leans forward, squeezing Tsumiki’s hand in hers as he nods, opening up the covers for her. Megumi awkwardly looks between you and Satoru and you catch on fast, signaling for him to join you under the covers as well. The four of you are squished together, Tsumiki clinging on to you and Megumi clinging on to Satoru. 

They both fall asleep fast and you give a weary look to Satoru in the dark, which he returns with a smile. 

- 

You hate leaving at a time like this. And you hate your parents and even Gojo’s parents for making you come to a stupid dinner like this. 

Your kids, that they don’t know about, need you. You had tried your best to make Tsumiki comfortable, making her a stack of warm, strawberry pancakes and letting her pick what you guys ate for lunch. 

And when you had to leave her with Nanami and Shoko to go see the Gojo’s, you swear you could feel your heart clench at the thought of leaving her. And Megumi. And of the two of them being uncomfortable without you there. 

You could tell from the look in Satoru’s eyes that he shared your sentiments, his gaze weary as he said goodbye, lingering by the door until you two really had to leave. And then you both made your trek to the Gojo Estate. 

And god do you hate it here. In all but ten minutes of dinner, your mother, assfucking clown she was, had already found ten different things to pick on. 

Your hair has split ends, you should cut it. 

You should slow down on the food. 

You could have worn a more flattering color. 

Every spiky comment she makes, Satoru squeezes his hand in yours under the table, grounding you in the moment. If it wasn’t for him and the soft looks he was giving you every few minutes, you’re sure you would have broken the centerpiece in the middle of the table by now. 

“Say, Y/N, Satoru.” 

You look up to find Mr. Gojo beaming at you, the smile not meeting his eyes. You can feel Satoru’s hand tense in yours under the table and you know it’s your turn to protect him from his dad. 

“Did you start trying for kids?” 

“Dad.” 

“What, Satoru? It’s an important question. You guys have been married for a year now and surely there’s no better time than now to start trying.” 

You can feel your mouth dry at the thought. Kids. Kids of your own. Like, a crying, pooping baby - half parts you and half parts Satoru. 

How in the world could they think you were ready for that? Because in all honesty, Satoru’s your husband in name but he feels like your boyfriend. 

You’ve been together for eight months. You haven’t gone on a vacation together or met his college best friend and you don’t know what his favorite smoothie flavor is or what the first car he drove was and they want you to start popping out kids? 

You and Satoru aren’t ready for kids. And really, you already have two kids. That need you right now. And you have all the time in the world to have more and you really, really just like things the way they are. For now, and-

“They’ll get working on it.” 

You feel your eyes boggle out of your head as you crane your neck to look at your mom, a self-assured smile placed on her face. She can’t really be serious, can she? 

“Oh, how sweet! A grandchild. Oh, I do hope it’s a boy. So we can pass on the Gojo name and all.” 

It’s Satoru’s turn to glare at his mother and you’re sure that he has the same bitter taste in his mouth as you. Sure, they were the reason you guys got married but they had no right to treat you guys like this. Like you were put together to make some offspring for them to fawn over. 

“Although, I wouldn’t mind a girl. Boys can be rowdy and insensitive.” says Mr. Gojo, a matter-of-fact tone in his words. 

“That’s not true. Boys can be sensitive too. You just have to raise them right.” you respond, muttering the words under your breath. 

Megumi’s sweet and sensitive. He always avoids stomping on flowers growing out of the cracks of the cement and he always writes cards for his teachers on holiday’s and always says please and thank you after every little thing you and Satoru do for him, even if it is under his breath. 

“Well, I hope it’s a boy. Girls come with attitude.” your dad responds, the implication in his tone clear. 

“No daughter of ours would take back-handed comments like that.” 

Because Tsumiki’s never done that. Because Satoru remembers the day someone tried to pick on her in her class and all she did was calmly respond. Stand her ground, surely but firmly. Something he’s sure that she learned from you. And to think someone could dismiss that off as attitude is so fucking-

You squeeze Satoru’s hand under the table, signaling him to stop. Because he’s being rude. Because he shouldn’t talk back to your father even if he’s wrong and-

“Satoru. Stop.” you whisper, awkwardly eyeing the four of them as he deflates. 

The four of you awkwardly sit in silence, the forks clicking against the plates. Satoru’s crushing your hand into oblivion under the table and you can see that he’s agitated from the way his shoulders are all scrunched up. And when his dad talks next, he really can’t hold it in anymore. 

“Satoru, son. All you have to do take her to bed one time to pass on the Gojo na-” 

Satoru smacks his fist against the table, the glassware making a loud noise against the surface. You look over to find Satoru smoldering, the way he often did when he was near his dad. 

“Don’t talk about my wife like that. She’s not some thing for you to use. You can try that shit on anyone else but you know damn well I’m not letting you do it to her.”

Mrs. Gojo’s features scrunch up in frustration, a pinched look on her face as she starts massaging the bridge of her nose. Satoru stands up, pulling you up with him as he stomps out, dragging you out with him. 

- 

You two drive in silence the entire way home. Satoru’s still smoldering in his drivers seat, jaw tight against his skin as he clenches his fists on the steering wheel, knuckles going white. And you’re unsure of what you can say to him to ease it, make him feel better. 

He parks the car in the driveway, leaning his head against the seat to look up through the sunroof, the stars glittering in the sky above you. He makes no motions to get out of the car, the engine and lights still turned on despite the fact that you and Satoru were home. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm, Satoru?” 

“You-you okay?” 

“What? Yeah. Are you?” 

He doesn’t respond and instead loosens his tie, the fabric hanging from the sides of his collar. 

“I just…hate them. So much. Why would we rush having a child when we aren’t ready? And who are they to talk about you like that? Like all I keep you around for is to bear my children.” 

You’re not sure what to say so you snake your hand into his, leaning over the glove box to lean onto his shoulder. You can feel him deflate under you, leaning his head on top of yours as he presses his hand against your waist, his hands rubbing back and forth on the fabric. 

“Satoru.” 

“Yeah, love?” 

“You feel like my boyfriend, right now. I know you’re my husband but…we’ve only been together for eight months. And I know it’s weird to say but…I’d like to have a kid with you someday just…not now.” 

His hand comes up, angling your face up so you’re looking at him, a big smile spread across his face. You can feel your cheeks burning from the admission and you clench your eyes shut to avoid seeing the teasing look on Satoru’s face. 

“Y/N. You’d want to have kids with me?” 

You nod and Satoru’s face splits into a big smile, his hands shaking in yours. 

“Well, yeah. It would be cute, when the time is right. Megumi and Tsumiki can have a little sibling and it’ll be like…a little us. 

“A little us?” 

“Your nose, my eyes, hopefully all of my looks and none of your annoyingness.” 

“You’re so sweet, Y/N. I don’t know how I ever lucked out with such a charming girl like you.” he responds, sarcasm dripping from his voice. You laugh in response, beaming at him as you talk on. 

“I love you, Satoru. And I’d love to have kids with you but we’re just…we already have two kids and I think they need us right now. They haven’t opened up yet and-” 

“I know, sweet. I agree. Trust me, I’d love nothing more than putting a baby in your right here, right now in this car but-” 

“Pervert.” 

“Why are you so rude? Every word is like a bullet wound in my chest.” 

You lean over, pressing a kiss to his chest as you lean back and glare at him. He smiles at you, a sweet look on his face. 

“What was that for?” 

“You said bullet wound in your chest. I was just kissing your ego better.” 

He leans forward, cupping your face as he kisses you, hanging off the ends of your lips as he squeezes his face in your hands. He pulls apart, pressing kisses all over your face as he talks, his words making your cheeks burn. 

“You’re so-” 

Kiss. 

“Damn cute.” 

Kiss. 

“I hate you sometimes.” 

Kiss. 

“When we have kids, I hope they’re all like you. Pretty eyes, soft hair, snarky attitude. She’ll be so easy to love, all goofy and idiotic like you.” 

“She, Satoru?” 

“Oh, she’s totally going to be a girl. My three girls. You, Tsumiki, and her.” 

“Sounds like you have it all planned out already?” 

“Well, I’m waiting. For when you’re ready and I’m ready and all that. But yeah. I’ve already seen how our entire life is going to play out. You and I are going to grow old together. Sick it to our parents. Have the type of love kids dream about. All that lovey-dovey stuff.” 

You and Satoru, hands pressed together, pad into the dark of the house, slowly climbing up the stairs. When you amble into your bed room, you can hear soft snores in your bed - Tsumiki and Megumi fast asleep under your sheets. There’s a tiny little sticky-note pressed to the light switch, which you and Satoru both squint at. 

They want to sleep with "their parents”. Their words, not ours. - Shoko 

You and Satoru quickly peel out of your clothes and climb under the sheets - Satoru leaning over to press a kiss to all three of your heads before fluttering his own eyes shut. 

And you hate to say it, because all in all the night wasn’t perfect, but you really, really don’t want to let it go. Every part of this night is…sparkling in your mind. Satoru defending you, telling you that he loves you, that he wants to have kids with you. You-

You count yourself lucky. That you don’t have to wonder if Satoru is in love with someone else or what he thinks about you or any other thing. 

Because you know the person he’s waiting on is you. 

- 

the satoru as taylor swift songs series masterlist

taglist: @porridgesblog @platrom @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha​ @rebeccawinters 

[whosthere54]

Prison duo playlist analysis day 4 - The Bird Song by Noah Floersch

Rah rah rah the bird songgggggg

I need you to know after I saw this song the first time I had a reminder set for when it came out so I could add it to my prison duo playlist /lh

So- I’m just gonna go through the three ideas I have. We’re doing it from Icarus’s perspective, but if I did it from Centross’s perspective it would be the same events just in a proper order lol

So for the first piece- until the next “I was a bird”

This one is the Season 2 Prison arc. Personally.

“When it went through, that’s when I knew. I’m a killer and a killer is a bad bad thing to be, she’s a giver and a givers even worse for folks like me. ‘Cause I never really wanna be the one to hurt somebody, but it just keeps happening. Yeah, it just keeps happening.”

Me when this is Coded.

They’re a killer- a villain. That’s all they can be isn’t it? He’s a giver- he stayed in that prison for them because he knew they needed him there.

They keep repeating this over and over again- keep hurting people over and over. It just keeps happening. Self explanatory I think.

The next part is until “Falling”

This is the Season 1 prison arc. Again, these could be lots of different things but my first thoughts were the prison arcs because the lyrics mirrored each other so I could do both- lol.

“I was a bird, he was an arrow. I was allured by the straight and the narrow. What could I do? His aim was true. Straight to the heart, I let it happen. I couldn’t hardly have ever imagined that when he went through me he’d hate what he’s doin’ and make me feel stupid for choosin’ him too.”

Mmm. Oh season 1 prison arc my beloved.

He knew exactly what he said- he knew they were insecure at this point. I think all of them did- they didn’t hide it that well. He knew what he said would hit them like it did- he knew what he said would get under their skin.

They thought he hated them after that- if they didn’t before. They didn’t know he felt bad, they didn’t know he was struggling at all to say that when it was really directed at himself. “I couldn’t hardly have ever imagined that when he went through me he’d hate what he’s doin’ and make me feel stupid for choosin’ him too.”

“Cause I’m a giver and a giver is a bad, bad thing to be. He’s a killer and a Killer’s even worse for folks like me. ‘Cause I never really wanna feel the hurt from anybody, but it just keeps happening. Yeah it just keeps happening.”

They were doing it for approval- from Enderian and from Centross. They were giving all they could for that cause to try and get Enderian to talk to them and for Centross to- like isn’t the right word. Approve? See them as an equal? See them as someone worth while to work with? He at the time did not care about any of that- focused on himself and Enderian’s goals for him that he didn’t pay any mind to anything Icarus was doing then.

“‘Cause I never really wanna feel the hurt from anybody, but it just keeps happening. Yeah it just keeps happening.”

I think about their time in the prison and everyone who came to talk with them. Specifically their conversations with Will and with Athena- because their words ended up hurting them the most of those meetings I think. I’m pretty sure if I’m remembering correctly- sometime after those two conversations is when they wrote the two pieces in the book. It just keeps happening- even when they got out people’s words hurt, And they understood why. They knew they did *something* bad they didn’t exactly know what at the time but they did and they understood people’s anger.

That is- until it persists into season 2.

The next part- from “Falling” to the end.

So- this is see as sort of Centross’s death, and the effect on Icarus.

“Falling, never to fly again. Darling, together when everything’s fadin’. The shade of the trees in the dark. I’m in love with the idea of dyin’ with you in my arms- but not like this.”

Mmm. First off- “Falling, Never to fly again” wow. Mhm. Icarus coded. /lh

“I’m in love with the idea of dyin’ with you in my arms- but not like this.” See this is what made me go yeah it’s the Centross death scene. They were supposed to die- they knew that- but he came in instead and saved them. The sword fell to their feet- they could’ve grabbed it, they could’ve saved him- and that haunts them from that day on. Instead of them, Centross died that day. There was an option for them to die in his arms- it could have happened- but instead he died and took a part of Icarus with him.

“We can’t really help who we are”

They’re a killer- they didn’t save him. In their eyes it might as well be their fault he died. The could have- (they couldn’t, they were just nearly killed. The wound in their chest had just started changing and they weren’t *used* to that feeing yet.)

They continue the path they’re on now- if they couldn’t save him why save themself? If they’re just going to hurt people, if they’re just going to be the villain. The *Failure*. Why try to do anything different if that’s all they are regardless?

“Damned to the end from the start”

Now this line I think could go two ways- one being Centross and one being Icarus. I like the Centross take, though, so I’m gonna say that one.

He didn’t necessarily choose this path- he tried to get away from it but Enderian carved it out for him from the start. He didn’t make himself the Violet Reaper, she did.

“We can’t really help who we are.”

Now this repeats, and then I just imagine each time Icarus hurt someone and then quixis and Centross being a god. Them both having to sit and watch and not be there for a while before interacting again, Centross being able to be there in person but Icarixis being able to change small things after a while.

They change- but there’s still pieces of them that stay the same. That makes them… them. You can’t get rid of all of that, no matter how hard you try.

So that’s the songgggg The Bird Song my beloved <3 it’s a banger Frfr

The image chosen from my prison duo Pinterest board today is-

Anyways- hope you enjoyed lol. I have fun here /lh

You are loved! Go take any meds if you need to and Go eat and drink water if you haven’t already today <3

Have a good rest of your day/night :]

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: 4 Minutes (The Power of Madonna)

Sung by: Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones Original Artist(s): Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland

Baby penguin my ass.

I sometimes go back and read 'of the day' reviews, and one of them stated that this episode featured too much music. And I got to thinking, while I clearly don't agree, this is the one that would probably end up on the chopping block. I'm very glad it didn't though, because I think it has more to say than you may think.

And it's only one of two duets we get between Kurt and Mercedes.

Story Anaylsis

It's really nice to be talking about Kurt again... when is the last time???

So, here's the fascinating thing about this one. Kurt and Mercedes both often feel like they're playing second fiddle - especially to Rachel Berry. And here they get to showcase their amazing talents together. But the thing is - they got this huge performance as a thank you from Sue for making her over in Vogue. (Also - Sue is doing this as an FU to Will, but Sue is savvy enough to know talent when she sees it - and Kurt will remain one of her favorites for the rest of the series.)

The song itself is a little random story wise -- and most likely chosen because it was a highly energetic, more modern hit. It's a song about going out and saving the world in 4 minutes? Honestly - the lyrics are supposed to be about saving the planet, and having the urgency to do so. But I can finagle a few things...

I think one of the things both Kurt and Mercedes are doing here are latching onto the urgency in their own lives. Sue's giving them a chance to shine and they're both going to take it. Neither of them is willing to wait around for Will to give them a chance. So, they'll make their own chances. Which speaks to both their characters, really.

But if I die tonight At least I can say I did what I wanted to do Tell me, how bout you?

I think the lyrics are mostly not the point in this one. But I like this little stanza. It speaks to the two of them briming with their own confidence and jumping at the chance to show, at least the school, what they can do.

I'm going to quote myself from my Kurt meta:

One of the things I really love is how confident both Kurt and Mercedes are in this dance number–with the whole school watching.  Before, both of them were looked down upon, and thrown in dumpsters, and slushied, but now that they’re with the Cheerios and singing Madonna, they really latch on to a growing self-confidence.  Sure, they aren’t there yet, and they have many more obstacles to go over, but just the fact that they’re up there performing, uncaring really what anyone else thinks, is a step in the right direction.

I will say - one of the things that I've often had a hard time buying on this show is that people continually think that these kids are losers. I'd have been so amazed if I saw a performance like this in high school. There's no reason any of these kids get the hate they get except for the fact that the plot needs them to be.

Technical Thoughts

First of all - I love that they arranged this as a marching band song. Not only is it a great interpretation to the heavy sound of the original song, but it's nice to see a marching band used well on screen.

Secondly, they sound pretty good! I love Kurt in his lower register. And Mercedes just owns this song. It's not surprising that they had them switch parts because Amber is much more comfortable with kind of song than Chris and it does show a little bit in the vocal track.

The on screen charisma, though, they both have it. The fact that both Mercedes and Kurt feel so comfortable in their bodies is fantastic. Neither of them are what mainstream society would label as sexy or hot but I love, love, love that this speaks to that -- that these two are both sexy and hot in this number as they play off each other. The choreography on this is the best, and I love that they allow these characters to be in control and confident in their bodies.

Also - sometimes I don't think Chris gets enough credit. Yes, he can be clumsy and fall of a piano (oh we will get there) but sometimes he just owns his physicality in a way that is never commented on is just remarkable.

This performance also has some great reaction shots. I love that Will looks annoyed and almost disappointed. Rachel's 'no comment' was perfect. And I love that Quinn genuinely seems to be enjoying herself. (I love when Quinn gets to be a human.)

Also - super technical thing - but notice all the quick cuts and camera whips? I'm sure that was done purposely to enhance the urgency the song is trying to create.

Fun fact: Apparently, this is the last time Kurt does a duet with anyone else besides Blaine and Rachel until Adam Lambert shows up. Crazy right? Shame that the show doesn't try out varying combinations more often.

vs. The Studio Version: It's the full song! Or more so it feels like they just repeat the chorus a few more times. I do like the second half, though, because they both get into the song just a bit more and it feels even more powerful than the show version.

vs. The Original Song: I love that this song is actually 4 minutes long. It is slightly slower than Glee's version - which makes sense, because that's Glee's trend - to make everything just a little bit faster (I assume to fit into time limit of being on a tv show). As I said earlier, I think Glee's marching band interpretation is really cool - because it's a great in world adaptation of the instrumentation the original song uses. That all said, what is going on in this video? I don't get how this reflects saving the world. *shrugs*

[twopoppies]

I’m a newer Larrie and pretty naive about the One Direction days because I didn’t listen to that type of music during the time they were a band. I started liking them individually and somehow found myself in this fandom. I guess my question is why do fans compare them constantly? They all came from the same band, they all seem to support each other at least privately if not publicly and appear to be pretty grateful to have had that same experience. I’ve seen some some solo Harry fans really attack Liam and Louis negatively with even comments on their looks. They constantly compare them to Harry and how they’re somehow losers because they don’t currently have the kind of commercial success as Harry. I’ve seen other solo fans also go after Harry for all kinds of reasons too, which is just so sad to see. Was it like this in the band too? Or has this all heightened because they all went solo? They all have different sounds, so why compare them? Am I missing something maybe?

Hi darling. Welcome to the hellhole fandom. So, no. When they were in the band it was actually unusual for anyone to ever voice a dislike for any one of them. People had their favorites, but publicly everyone supported everyone.

1DHQ started the fracture with the constant pushing of Harry vs the band. They really wanted to position Harry as being separate from (and better than) the other guys. Then Zayn left. There were people who were disappointed/angry with him or who no longer cared about his career, so we started having OT5 vs OT4 discourse. Then babygate started and we had the next fracture where people began to think maybe Larry broke up or Louis cheated on Harry. This was when people became houies (people who thought HL has dated, but now has broken up). Then that was followed by the hiatus and Harry/his team pushing the separation of Harry up a notch.

There were still many OT4 supporters until HS1 dropped and then there was a whole faction of people who flipped out over Harry’s lyrics and image not meeting their expectations and I think that was when houies really divided into harries and louies. There were still larries and antis. But now there were also louies who were only interested in Louis and “rad louies” (radical louies) who hated Harry and thought he was the reason Louis’ career was being “sabotaged”. And there were also harries — some of whom hated Louis because they thought he cheated on Harry and some also bought into the idea that Harry was just better than everyone else.

The fractured nature of our fandom really went into overdrive with the popularity of Fine Line and quarantine. Thousands and thousands of people entered the fandom and many had zero interest in 1D. Harry’s het image was in overdrive with Watermelon Sugar and the idea that Camille broke his heart (thus, being inspiration for the album). Holivia, DWD, As It Was, Harry’s House and Harry’s growing fame really made things worse in that department.

It seems as though a lot of Harry’s newest fans see any link back to 1D or his former bandmates as being a step backwards or as the other guys trying to “use” Harry as a way to promote themselves. And until recently, Harry spoke very little about the band and had very little public interaction with them, so unless you paid very close attention, it was easy to think he didn’t care much for or about them. I think many fans do this weird thing of needing their fave to be “the best” — as if that somehow reflects on them, as well. Like, the way many Harries went overboard making sure Lloyd won best tour photographer only because they didn’t want Louis’ photographer to win. It’s ridiculous.

Some of the hatred towards Harry is rooted in jealousy because people feel he had an unfair advantage over the others, thus having a success the others could have had just as well. Some of the hate is people feeling as though he has the power to do whatever he wants in terms of his image and stunts, so he must be fake and only cares about fame and money. Some of it is people buying into the idea that Harry ended the band because he wanted to be a star and he’s actively trying to ruin Louis’ career. There are a million different reasons people send hate his way.

As for comparing the five of them, as you say, they all have different sounds and none of them compete with each other. But I do think Sony very much wants Harry to be the Justin Timberlake and be the only one who reaches that huge level of success. And the media doesn’t help because many of the articles are written in a way that praises Harry and puts the others down (for no reason at all), so fans feel defensive and lash out. I tend to think Liam, Niall, Louis, and Harry all care about each other very much and are supportive of each other. And I really doubt they like the articles that do that nor would they support the nasty way some of the fans behave.

Sorry this was so long. And at the same time, this barely touched the surface, but I hope it helped a little.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Coldplay - Moon Music

When Coldplay released their latest album, Moon Music, vocalist Chris Martin said that they were going to release 12 albums and then retire. Moon Music is album 10, so people have a couple more albums to wait, but a lot of music fans will probably rejoice when one of rock’s least liked bands calls it a day. Well, least liked now, because Coldplay used to be huge, at least from 2000 to 2010, but since 2011’s Mylo Xyloto, they’ve taken a dive. I reviewed their last album, 2021’s Music Of The Spheres, and I didn’t like that album very much. It wasn’t outright awful, but it was too bland, uninspired, and boring. They went for a huge pop sound that had themes of coming together, unity, and things like that, which was good for the time, but they didn’t do anything with those themes, and it just felt like it was a little pretentious, or at least halfbaked.

When Coldplay is good, they’re really good, especially some of their early records, but I did enjoy 2019’s Everyday Life, where they went into some eclectic directions. Music Of The Spheres was a generic pop album that tried to bite off way too much than it could chew, so I was skeptical for whatever they did next. Moon Music worried me from its first couple of singles, because they were more or less what we’ve had before, but in context of the whole album, they work quite well. This album returns Coldplay to their late 00s run with some huge, anthemic, and over the top songs, but they continue with the ambient sounds they attempted to interweave into their sound with Music Of The Spheres.

At 44 minutes, one could argue that Moon Music is a little too long, but there are only a couple of longer songs that show up at the beginning, middle, and end. Despite the few issues this album has, which I’ll talk about later, I happen to really enjoy this thing. Moon Music is the best Coldplay album since Mylo Xyloto, even though that album doesn’t have a great reputation, either. The bombast is here, and on songs like “feelslikeimfallinginlove,” “Jupiter,” and,” “iAMM,” and “Good Feelings” are really catchy, fun, and huge sounding. The title track, “One Love,” and “🌈” (I hate to type that out, but we’re at a time in history where emojis can be song titles) are longer and more ambient. The latter is a very ambient cut that’s interspliced with a speech from the late Maya Angelou, and it sounds great, despite going on a little too long in spots.

The album has its peaks and valleys, but the valleys aren’t bad, they’re just not as high energy and let the album breathe a bit. Some of the album ends up running a bit too long for its own good, but the highs are worth it, honestly. Chris Martin sounds great, and even his lyrics are a bit better here, although still being extremely cheesy in a lot of spots, too. The difference here, however, is that it’s the right amount of cheese, and you really feel what he’s saying and how he’s saying it. There’s also less of a fake positive exterior that the band exudes sometimes, too, and the lyrics are still hopeful, but there is a hint of darkness there. It’s an interesting touch, compared to their overly positive stuff.

In terms of their body of work, the jury’s still out on whether or not this matches up with their other material, because I’ve seen a lot of mixed reactions on the album. Some have been positive, but the rest have been middling, versus outright bad. This is a step up compared to Music Of The Spheres, and it’s the most I’ve enjoyed a Coldplay album in years, at least out of what I’ve actively listened to. I’m curious to see how fans are reacting to it, but as someone that’s a casual fan, I really like this. I don’t know if it’s an album of the year contender, but even then, I’ve been coming back to this thing quite a lot, warts and all.

[reviewsbyliam]

Nicki Minaj - Last Time I Saw You

(Single Review)

01/09/23

Friendly Reminder: make sure to listen to the song whilst reading!

Nicki Minaj for Last Time I Saw You

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Kicking off September with the supposed lead single from her highly anticipated 5th album 'Pink Friday 2' is none other than Nicki Minaj.

Last Time I Saw You is the 3rd single to be released from her upcoming album, with 1 & 2 being the #1 HIT Super Freaky Girl and Red Ruby Da Sleeze which introduced her new alter ego, Red Ruby Da Sleeze.

Earlier today, Nicki spoke with Zane Lowe on the New Music Daily series which is platformed by Apple Music Radio, touching on the subjects behind the song.

She indicated that it's partly about her late Father, Robert Maraj, who was killed in a hit-and-run in February of 2021, also adding; "The vibe of it was really talking about a loss, a real loss you know. But to not make the song feel only directed at one kind of loss. When I wrote the singing verse, I tried to expand it and think even about relationships. And then by the time I got to the rap, it was like I had included all relationships that I had lost before, because I mentioned even best friends and stuff like that."

Never forgetting to also pay homage to her own personal growth, Nicki stated; "I just wanted the next song that I put out to represent my growth, but not just as an artist, but as a human being. I’ve experienced so many things that I hadn’t experienced five years ago, and that’s just the truth."

Talking earlier today to Zane Lowe about the current rap climate, Nicki said: "I felt that if I don’t take the risk, that I’m just as bad as everyone else who I think should make a change. And not only artists, but people behind the scenes. Because the truth of the matter is people are experiencing real life every day. Believe it or not, people are going through real shit every day. So just because they don’t have that music out to express it, it doesn’t mean they’re not experiencing it."

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Taking risks from the music she has previously put out was the best choice for Nicki, as it proves that no matter how long she has been in the game for; she'll always find a way to create a new wave and ride it like no other whilst managing to stay relatable with her sound and writing.

Diversity in your lyricism and flow alongside experimenting with beats is something that many rappers lack so they choose to stick to their comfort zones, but for Nicki? That's not her story. Each album she has put out for public consumption has been consistently different. From flows, beats, lyrics, alter egos, stories - nothing is the same. Nicki being 15 years into her career and still finding ways to elevate her musical skill is truly inspirational.

After becoming a mother and surviving a very consistent hate train from the general public in 2018 that lasted for a couple years, it's more obvious now than ever that Nicki is ready to show the world what shes made of once again and gently but savagely remind people that whilst they might be able to play with others, they can't play with her. At all.

I'm personally extremely excited for her new album and eager to hear what sounds she has been experimenting with in her studio, alongside everything else that comes. Being a fan since Pink Friday was first released in 2010, it always is anxiety inducing when you don't exactly know where your favorite artists creative mind is directing itself, but then I also find that's what makes it so exciting about being a fan of that person, because when their past work is so consistent and still streamed to this day, you know you won't be let down no matter what, especially when its a mastermind like Nicki Minaj.

PINK FRIDAY 2 OUT NOVEMBER 17TH 2023

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CONCLUSION: A very emotionally layered track from Nicki that is upbeat and catchy whilst managing to stay unique, securing it's destiny for greatness. I (like many others) found myself able to relate on a personal level with past and current situations and even found myself getting a bit emotional at one point once I understood her own personal connections with the song. A very cohesive, well produced track with outstanding vocals and flow from Nicki.

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Last Time I Saw You is a certified 10/10 by Reviews By Liam

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Thank you for checking out my review of Nicki Minaj's new single Last Time I Saw You!

If you would like to listen to Last Time I Saw You, it is available to stream on Spotify and Apple Music, or purchase from iTunes.

Please support my blog by giving me a follow and sharing my reviews with your family and friends, whilst not forgetting to leave your own comments below!

X (Twitter): reviewsbyliam

Instagram: reviewsbyliam

[kairithemang0]

Ok ok just a small rant

XEHAQUS???? I just... GAH I love them so so much.

When I first got into kh I wrote a 183 page Xehaqus fic that I never finished but they were my life for so long. And this was before Dark Road finished! I love them even more after dark road because oh my gosh they're so cute in that game. The graveyard scene???? It's a crime they didn't kiss. I wish they had better communication skills after what happens in dark road because it's a shame they became so distant. Like they went through so much together and the fact they didn't work through it together and instead went wildly different directions that lead them to hating each other hurts my soul.

I don't think Eraqus ever got over him though, and as much as Xehanort probably wanted to he probably never could.

Have any of you heard butterflies by leo? You should listen to it, I'll die on the hill that that is a Xehaqus song. Other than the first verse which doesn't fit with them too much I think it really is just so perfect for them.

I’m counting the seconds And waiting for you The sky sure looks pretty But you’re my favorite view

I’ll welcome the storm soon

But just for tonight

I’ll pretend that it’s still our room

I’ll pretend that you’re still mine

When will it feel okay

To know that you wouldn’t have stayed

Before mine flew away

I feel them

Please kill them

I’ll heal someday

I cried in the shower

‘Cause you’re not around

Quite funny how I’m still

The hot mess that you found

I know that they’re gone, dear

But picture my eyes

And tell me what happened

To your butterflies

Ok ok sorry but now this post is just me ranting about this song and these lyrics bcs I've thought about this for months. "The sky sure looks pretty, but you're my favorite view" I'd like to think that this would be Xehanort saying this, he does become obsesed with Kingdom Hearts after all, which is a moon in the sky. Although I do interpret most of the lyrics from Eraqus's POV, there are many I see from both or Xehanort's as well. "I’ll welcome the storm soon, but just for tonight I’ll pretend that it’s still our room , I’ll pretend that you’re still mine" a very Eraqus line personally. The storm could represent the events after dark road, and how Eraqus just wants to go back to the way things were before it all. "When will it feel okay to know that you wouldn’t have stayed before mine flew away" to me sounds like either of them could say it. After Dark Road they went on very very different paths, Eraqus going on the path to stay loyal to light while Xehanort walked a dark road (wow I'm funny) and became the person he ended up becoming. "I feel them, please kill them. I’ll heal someday" lets face it, they both still had feelings and died with said feelings. They never got over each other I'll die on this hill. They will never heal. "I cried in the shower ‘cause you’re not around. Quite funny how I’m still the hot mess that you found. I know that they’re gone, dear, but picture my eyes and tell me what happened to your butterflies." This is an Eraqus line to me, I've always pictured their fight in dark road as the final lyric. Just Eraqus wondering how Xehanort changed and how he wonders what happened to his feelings, his butterflies. The first part of it definitely could have been how Eraqus felt in the days following it.

WOW ok rant over, that was in fact not a "small rant". I love Xehaqus, they're my kh OTP (although I do love Akusai and Soriku, these 2 will be on top forever). I made a playlist for them and have written a decent amount for them, they just make me happy. I'm sorry to the people who went into this thinking it wouldn't be me ranting about a silly song I like and also one of my favorite ships.

[jacksgreysays]

Hey, guess who's got a pair of songs for you? I heard "Cant Stand the Rain" by The Rescues ages ago, and just recently heard "Rain" by grandson & Jessie Reyez. The moment song 2 hit my ears I was like, "These have to be smashed together, somehow." And since I once sent you that prompt for "Thunder and Lightning" and "Thunder", I thought of you. <3

!!!!! <3<3<3<3 Hello, loveelemental!

Okay, after checking out these songs and their lyrics, I just want to say that none of the following is a value judgement—I do like both of these songs that you’ve brought to me—but the POV/personalities of these songs are VERY… hm…

You’ve brought to me two songs that are in a dialogue with each other and, on the surface, could appear to be in opposition with each other. BUT, I do think they’re both rather… cynical in a sense, so they’re not truly opposite ends of a spectrum.

Because, okay, Can’t Stand the Rain is very cynical, post-relationship, everything is bad and I hate it and why should I do anything to change it? “My blackened heart,” “I’d empty [the pots and pans filling with rainwater] out but why?” even the repeating “Love, no such thing as love,” FEELS very “I just got broken up with and I’m going to wallow in my own sadness” not even necessarily “I miss/still love the person I broke up with” but a very selfish, cynical “the world sucks so now I’m going to be miserable.”

Which is certainly one way to handle a break up.

Another way is in Rain, the difference most embodied by “I don’t mind the rain sometimes.” Emphasis on the SOMETIMES. And while the person in this song is slightly less cynical—in that crying/rain is what makes roses bloom and that “it’s better to have loved and lost…” although it doesn’t include the rest of the saying which IS IMPORTANT “than to never have loved at all.”

This person ALSO is wallowing in their own sadness post-relationship but almost… reveling in it? Very emo. A+ They’re literally “making peace with the rain” and “dancing with the pain,” and turning the break up/end of the relationship into a learning opportunity of sorts? It’s not AS cynical but it IS as selfish… or maybe self-centered…

I think what I’m trying to articulate is that both of these songs represent people who are HURT by a break up/end of a relationship, but not necessarily HEARTBROKEN if that clarifies anything at all… Because there’s no YEARNING either for their former partners or even for the relationship itself. It’s just… here is the new normal, how do I react to it.

Now to step away from song analysis, into potential fic writing.

Immediately I can think of two ways to go with this:

The two POVs of the songs are the two people in the relationship that ended and this is how each of them deal with it. Or,

This is the same person after some time has passed.

I’ll be honest, both of them are kind of funny.

Because with (1) it just really shows how, probably, it was the best for the relationship to end considering how selfish the lyrics are on both sides. Rain is slightly more romantic in the sense that it’s “because of this break up I can grow as a person” but it’s still pretty selfish, lol. Like… both of them are stewing in their own misery and meanwhile their respective friend groups (if they have them) are just like, “Oh thank god, they’ve broken up.”

With (2) the less time passing, the funnier it gets. Going from Can’t Stand the Rain into Rain after a week is funny, but after a day? That’s hilarious… I guess you can go in the other direction and it would also be funny—Rain into Can’t Stand the Rain, that is—but regardless the shorter the time jump the better.

I suppose there is option 3) in which these are two people who were in two different relationships and then the fic could be about them learning to be less selfish in love with each other? Or maybe being in love with someone who is as selfish as you and being okay with it? I don’t know.

… I’m trying to think if there’s a pairing for (1) or a character for (2) that would work but I don’t really do comedy, much less this anti-romantic comedy, so the I don’t know if my go to characters really match the genre. Although there is something to be said about how my reluctance to cast anyone into these roles speaks more about me wanting my characters to not be this kind of selfish/self-centered which isn’t accurate to real life. I should probably have more selfish/self-centered character to play around with. Or, rather, I should realize that some of the characters I write DO have the capacity to be this way, I have just been softening/glorifying them without exploring their full personalities.

Then again, I also don’t really write relationships as the main focus? Like, even my shipping fic is more of a method to explore various AUs or themes that aren’t necessarily romance based. Even Dreaming of S(omething,) my ShikakoxGaara series, and which I consider to have some of my most romantic writing in it, is more about how home can change from one place to another, or to a person. How a different environment can reveal as much about yourself as it does the new place you’re in. Even Dreaming of S(elfishness) doesn’t even have them being that selfish and has less to do with jealousy over an engagement and more about, like, establishing clearly what you want rather than just letting something passively come to you and passively watch it go.

Although… while I don’t write much in the (anti-) romantic genre that often, I do LOVE reading about, hm, estranged exes reuniting and having to hash out the mistakes from their past and bittersweetly getting closure before maybe giving the relationship another chance or starting a new relationship knowing the follies of their younger selves. But these songs feel freshly out of the relationship, whereas my preference for estranged exes reuniting usually has the benefit of years (if not decades, I do love when it’s like… ex high school sweethearts meeting up as full grown adults) in between the break up and the reunion.

If these songs are the initial response to the break up and part of the aforementioned youthful follies, then… okay. So I’m still kind of in Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint headspace, and while I MOST love Yoo Joonghyuk x Kim Dokja estranged high school exes reuniting, the dichotomy of these two songs FEELS more like what Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah would throw at each other in a fight.

Like, Can’t Stand the Rain feels like Han Sooyoung’s response to the break up—an almost destructive, heedless misery—whereas Rain would represent Yoo Sangah’s external perfection versus her internal flaws. Like the argument would contain:

YSA: At least I didn’t go around making my misery everyone else’s problem. HSY: Oh, as if you’re any better Miss Every Experience Is A Learning Opportunity, bullshit!

Like, I don’t know the whole argument, but that’s the vibe I’m feeling…

Surely there’s another couple that embodies this dynamic in my usual fandoms, but I am STRUGGLING to think of them for now…

And then, unfortunately, as I was writing this, I realized (2) was pretty much just 500 Days of Summer so… ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Probably not what you were looking for, loveelemental, but I appreciate you reaching out :D

[rndyounghowze]

PHL-17 Once On This Island

Book and Lyrics by LYNN AHRENS

Music by STEPHEN FLAHERTY

Based Upon The Novel "My Love, My Love" by Rosa Guy

Directed by AMINA ROBINSON

Presented By: Arden Theatre

Colorism isn’t something that we talk about in white spaces very much. Yet Once On This Island, based on a book by Rosa Guy plops it right onstage. Two sides of an island in the French Antilles hate each other. Their politics, class, and religion are split on color lines. One is Black and the other is “mulatto” (blech! That word leaves a horrible taste in our mouth). When Te Moun leaves her home to follow her love with a boy from the other side we think we’re getting a typical love story. Yet this Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty show helmed by Amina Robinson isn’t your typical tragedy of star-crossed lovers. It’s about a community seeking healing.

Love Is A Seed

Rosa Guy’s books were considered radical back in the day for portraying poverty and race in clear-cut terms. When looking at a story like this it’s normal to get confused. This isn’t your traditional love story. Though an adaptation of the Hans Christian Anderson story this show is the reverse of The Little Mermaid you might remember. A teen girl makes a deal with the gods to get a boy to fall in love with her. Yet unlike the sappy Disney story, this Te Moun dies when her love isn’t returned. She doesn’t turn into sea foam but a tree. Yet this also isn’t a typical Romeo and Juliet-style tragedy either. The story is cut and dried with very few character moments...or so we think. It’s important to remember that the peasant villagers tell this story. The villagers play each of these characters and provide the set pieces and costumes from the stuff lying around the plaza. How they reveal this story gives us a hint about why they tell this story. Guy tells us that change does come, love does bloom, and communities can heal. She doesn’t give us the illusion that things change immediately and magically when we choose love. Love is a seed. It has to be nurtured if it’s meant to grow.

A Team That Brings The Story To Life

When we see Robinson’s name attached to a project we think “This is going to be good.” Robinson is a director with an almost invisible touch. Nothing screams “This is obviously a choice Amina would make” or “Amina really added to the story here.” The minute the lights come up you forget about her. You don’t see her invisible hands guiding the performers’ movements. This means Robinson creates a community of creatives who bring their craft to the story. Robinson brings a team together that brings the story to life onstage.That’s a strength and talent we’ve seen Robinson use time and again. She’s always made a lasting impression on us.

Amazing People Part 1 & 2

if you want to see performers who can dance beautifully and break your heart in song look no further. You will leave the theater feeling SHOOK! Each one of these performers was a star in their own right. They had to change hats and characters on a whim. It’s very telling of their talent. All of them could own the stage. They end up owning your heart by the end of the show.

Conversations, Flirtations, and Languages

Sinclair’s choreo was a perfect mixture of island vernacular dance and contemporary. Most importantly Sinclair created movement vignettes as if he was a fellow storyteller. The dancing wasn’t just a part of the spectacle it signified culture. The peasants on one side lived in the movements of their hips and torsos. The uppercrust stood straight and did a lot of gestures with their hands. Sinclair created conversations, flirtations, and languages in movement.

Amazing People Part 3

I know they’re a demon but this is our god now. They are the Afro Goth Icon of our dreams. Shout out to costume designer Levonne Lindsay for the epic outfit. Also, shout out to Jessica Johnson for bringing such an iconic character to life. Yes, we know Faison and Williams could sing but did they have to peel the paint off the walls?!? They could SAAANG! Also, shout out to Gina Giachero the music director!

How Theatre Can Help

If we seem at a loss for words this is one of the most moving and impactful musicals we have seen in a long time. Luckily for all of you, it is extended until June 23rd! More importantly, they are sharing charities you can support to aid Haiti during this time of unrest.

ardentheatre.org/HaitiSupport

[starjxsung]

this might be...super controversial...but i truly truly hope this isn't skz trying to enter the western music industry if that makes sense. like how bts at one point just completely abandoned kpop and went full western shitty generic pop music. it's what drove me away from them and i would hate to see it happen to another group i love so much...if i wanted generic music, i would listen to american pop music. i like kpop bc it's so varied w the genres and the lyrics are always meaningful in some way. not to mention variety shows and just silly kpop content yknow that's more than half the fun of liking kpop!! you take that out and there's nothing there anymore especially when the music becomes bad. american tv shows are bland, most of the music is devoid of life. as much as i loved bts as people, it truly feels like they lost a bit of themselves AS BTS with songs like butter and ptd...idk. really hope this doesn't happen to skz.

WHEEWWWWWW opinions under the cut bc this is so long ✂️

I was just talking about this w my sister I literally would never say this on main™️ because people hate me on there as it is but I fully agree 🥲 I love bts but it’s so hard for me to get with their newer western stuff and it just feels like it has no emotion, no real substance to it. As an army I see people have this debate all the time and it’s such an issue that within the fandom, no one feels like they can have these conversations without getting attacked for it. But like it’s such a valid thing to acknowledge that hyyh era is vastly different from ptd? That is such a fair thing to point out and people who fell in love with bst, idol, dna, spring day, black swan, etc are allowed to not vibe either something that’s an entirely new sound. Especially one that emulates the generic pop music we already have in the west

There’s so much I could say about the tactics Hybe has to try and appeal to the west now and how it’s completely ruining classic kpop we all know and love, but I completely agree with you in fearing that they’ll want to push skz down the same road. And what’s unfortunate is that skz are at their peak right now in popularity, so I hope jype doesn’t see that as some weird opportunity to just change their sound or concept

I was also talking with my sister about how I think this is very much why Ateez seem to be quickly gaining traction, they’re very true to the original sound that they debuted with and their discography is so consistent and every album/single keeps being bigger than the last. Very traditional Korean sound and tying culture into performances and it’s all very well received in an atmosphere where we keep getting force fed all these western collabs. I know bang pd’s famous article about “removing the k in kpop” was a huge hit among stakeholders but I think for a lot of us, the “k” is what makes it unique. I like music in a different language, learning about culture, understanding how variety shows and award shows work. It’s a different subculture than we have in the west, and making them the same thing just negates the purpose of kpop in the first place. Like we don’t need “the next Justin Bieber” or “the next one direction”, those acts already existed. We have Jungkook and we have bts and skz and they didn’t get big for emulating western sound or culture, they got big for being a part of kpop !

Like could you imagine if we all collectively started saying “we need to make Bollywood more western! We need to make it appeal to western audiences!” How fucking disrespectful that would sound to the years of culture and uniqueness behind what it already is? Why are we doing that in Korean spaces now? Why can’t we just acknowledge when it’s a different culture and allow ourselves to immerse ourselves in it, learn about it, respect it and gain a newfound appreciation for something outside of western music? Why does everything have to appeal to the west??? 😭

I could go on about this for soooo long but I 100% agree with you and this was such a breath of fresh air to type out LMFAOOO

[sixthwater]

Hello. This one is going to be a bit different. I wanted to test these subjects with a deck of mine and the energy seemed very...fluid. Like the beginning and the end are the same but checkpoints might be different, therefore this reading in particular will have to be written differently. After reading notes will be written: like this, meanwhile the reading at the time will be written normally.

Chapter Four's Subject: Scooter Braun and...Everything?

Decks Used: White Numen & Haunted House (wanted to just use haunted house, got called to use two)

Who is Scooter?

Someone who lacks balance but seems so motivated and focused that it can seem the opposite. If you look at the seven of cups all the fish are swarming this one cup so this could speak to someone hyperfixating on something new or shiny — or something that they do legitimately take interest in, but once they lose interest then they move onto the next thing. I think ultimately there is an issue with sticking to plans that he’s already placed or communicated to someone. So you could be on step five of this 20 step plan and suddenly he’s doing the same thing with a new interest and you’re left to figure it out, but he also wouldn’t want to let you go either because eventually he’ll come back around to you. I don’t get direct ill intentions (I am actively trying to harm you), it’s more like…childish lmao. It’s like someone who got pets or plants. They get bored of them and expect the life to start taking care of itself but then get upset if it gets taken away from them because like what the heck they still Wanted it hello? Just general imbalance and lack of implementing plans are the key qualities here. Does he lack earth or have stellium in water/fire houses lmao. (Oh just checked the back: page of swords reversed, poor communication)

checked his chart after this; gemini sun & mars, cap moon that is It, cancer venus and retrograded mercury. a shit ton of squares to his jupiter, harsh aspects to neptune And uranus (plus too many to make up for the soft aspects to saturn). his mercury makes no harmonious aspects and then it's retrograded. cannot comment too much but yeah it's making some sense here

How does Hollywood see him?

Very short and sweet lmao. Someone who is the ‘trusted choice’ if choosing to sign with a label (can promise good deals, long history, etcetc). However once you get past that you start to realize there’s a…I get hot and cold/on and off for some reason? There’s a song playing and the lyric I keep picking up is ‘Whether you love me or hate me’ and the rest of the song fades out. So it’s like some days you’re a favorite, some days he’s distracted. It’s like you have to keep paying attention to the fire and keep it fueled when it should be the other way around. The Moon wanted to be the last one pulled and by itself, I feel like this is background industry stuff, but something about him got found out and is not the best — I’m not really being allowed in for what it is but it’s the idea of a mask being uncovered of wolf in sheep’s clothing? Something like that.

Why is this happening? (truth or deception)

I’m just repeating myself at this point. Also some cards fell while moving them back, and two of cups reversed was under the king. So. It’s the same stuff again; a new fixation so his priorities are lying elsewhere, but since this is a common theme it’s a feeling of being tired. If you look at the art within the lovers, the main female is watching it go down. I think there was an attempt at some sort of discussion about concerns or frustrations, but this seven of wands seems to be from his point of view? It’s a bit of both; not backing down and letting him know that they’re upset, but also not backing down to complaints and feeling attacked in a way (because you could say these complaints are coming from ‘beneath’ him I guess). This page…I weirdly feel like it was a choice. She’s smirking and holding an orb. It’s kind of like an ultimatum. Like either you get it or we aren’t doing shit for/with/under you anymore. Lack of motivation/energy but it’s purposeful. Which leads us to Judgement. There’s just a lot of criticism or critique but I’m not sensing any malice? It feels very calm. Honestly this card kind of feels like Scooter walking in with his new project and they’re all the people in the back. Regardless, the overall energy is that greediness and lack of balance again. Wanting to have it all, possible worry about financial/material safety which leads to this ‘gimme’ energy. I’m curious though now soooo

Long thoughts here; the lovers + 2oC can speak to affairs, and that's what I thought but it got brushed off. A lot of things got brushed off. It felt like someone didn't want me to actually figure stuff out but I was still being allowed in, so I can see something being thrown out to the public that isn't actually the problem. What I think is happening is that an affair was spotted and it dug up a lot. Too much and accidentally dug up something deeper, which is the previous moon issue that I can't get to. So the lovers issue started this, someone thought they could use it as like, ammo? (7oW), but it didn't work. PoW might be someone else plotting therefore the sneaky yet patient energy? However judgement stays the same. KoP is having a disgusting grip of a situation leaning into a shitty ego.

How does ____ see Scooter (with many afterthoughts lmao)

Taylor: Blunt. Petty tiresome arguments, a man of financial gain and someone to work with, but not a good mix in the end || Is this current energy? I can't see why there would be current petty attacks between them because that would be more swords energy? Either way, plenty of disagreements.

Demi: Not good. Might have started off nice but eventual control issues and overbearing tendencies leaded to a lack of emotional happiness. Getting a feeling that they understood when to let people not good for them slip through their fingers and move on. They want to speak a lot about this but that’s for them to say on their own time lol. || They wanted to say a lot. They are probably going to speak up first or when they do they're not going to shut up. I also kept thinking of Kesha when reading for Demi so?????

Ariana: ...I think she was too busy with other stuff and could not. He was not her main focus LOL. She understands that she needs to do a lot of work for herself in a way, cause I’m getting this skeleton is him. Which is why he’s not like..coming up. This Tower feels more like ‘I’m already dealing with a lot are you serious’, it’s not like it’s a surprise but it’s more like, it was bound to happen but it’s just inconvenient, as the tower always is. I can’t remember her rising, is it earth lmao || Objectively, the tower is supposed to be someone who brings an unpleasant change to your life or isn't supposed to stay anyway and you know they weren't meant for you. I don't know their connection I'm only familiar with the issue of Taylor's. Was she with him and tried to leave and it didn't work cause that's the only thing I can think of (unstable), or this could just be speaking of the personal affairs going on in her life as I mentioned. Hanged Man in this case seems like someone who stays in the same situation for so long that they've turned to dust so in general, not a compatable person to her and it just is what it is

Justin: Again like explorative but scatterbrained. Not getting that Justin is very emotionally involved or distressed just like. Done. Whatever option was less annoying he would’ve chose. || I always pick up on a...unattached energy from Justin, even looking at his chart. I don't know what he's experiencing right now but he's very much 'I just don't want to think about much'

Bighit/Hybe: Uh. Um. Either he has unfinished business with them that’s he’s ignoring because he’s in child mode or they heard all this news about him and maybe he’s shirking off responsibilities and Bighit/Hybe is kind of like ‘what the heck we’re supposed to be doing these deals or running these albums through these months’ and he’s just. Not responding. Not looking too fun. A bit of it feels like, because of the visuals, he could’ve had a long deal with them but they’re probably going to also cut him off after this unless something changes (keys to the castle but it’s blocked right now). || Could also have something to do with just cutting off contracts due to appearances if the moon issue is that bad.

Overall, Demi and Taylor feel the most emotionally invested. Ariana just seems tired and wants to move onto other things. Justin does not care lmao. Bighit/Hybe is just business.

Outcome

Before I even get into this, "One Of Us" from lion king 2 is playing while i fix this up. this is a fucking joke lmao, so maybe we will find out.

This will highlight some issues within himself for him to see, so there’s a chance he’ll kick his ass into gear to fix them. Some of them. There’s a chance that he won’t be facing said issues and approaching it with the ‘well I’m aware so that’s half the battle’ mindset. So implementing the change when it shows but not completely changing himself for the better. We will not be seeing this at all, and probably no one besides those that he feels comfortable venting to? So to everyone else it’ll look like he’s ignoring all of this, which will cause some frustration and more critique, some probably more harsh than it needs to be? Is the energy I get. The four of wands feels more public than close community, so if The Moon from way before gets out to us in some way, then I can understand the need for apology because I keep getting people demanding explanation or apologies from him. This’ll just cause him to pull back more or be more selfish — it’s the normal reaction you always see in public figures where they get defensive because they feel like nothing they do is right so then reactionists come to coddle them and they prefer that company even if it goes against their inner values? Think JK Rowling. I don’t believe that will literally happen, but that’s the best comparison I can get. To get dramatic because apparently thats the energy here, The Bird & the Worm by The Used wanted to come out during this part. So definitely has something to do with that Moon from the way beginning.

and look at that, even in that song (even though it's more about mental illness), theres a reference to a man crawling away from their problems and i kept getting it in a pathetic way during the live reading, so? I would love to say that maybe scooter would be a sacrifice to protect more big bag evil dudes but honestly the energy was pretty pathetic and brat like while trying to read so

This was. Annoying lmao. I remember saying I wanted to be nosy like everyone else but goooddd I forgot how much this energy is just....blergh. As much as I like deciphering stuff and understanding people, entertainment is a bit too much for me I'll stick to listening to others or doing smaller stuff lmao

[aadagio]

Speak Now TV First Impressions

I do this thing with every new Taylor release where I go through the album, track by track, listening to one song at a time via the YouTube lyric videos and then pausing for a few minutes to jot down my initial thoughts and first impressions. I started doing it with Lover back in 2019, and I've done it with every album since.

I usually just post these as a thread on Twitter, but since I'm back being active on Tumblr again, I thought I'd also share here. I did listen to Speak Now TV out of order, with the Vault tracks first, so I'm just going to list everything in the exact order I played it below:

Electric Touch: I got chills all over my arms. All I kept thinking was, "This would have been KILLER to listen to in high school!" I did feel that Patrick's voice felt subdued by the production here, which wasn't my favorite, but the way he and Taylor sing "to-o-ou-ouch" together and their alternating vocals on the bridge are fantastic. Also excited to have a new Taylor Time! I want to see this one performed live SO badly.

When Emma Falls In Love: Still not 100% sure how I feel about this one yet. Probably the least exciting one from the Vault, for me personally. I absolutely love the line “like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town” though.

I Can See You: So sultry and sexy. I loved it immediately. I got strong 60s spy movie vibes. I also really want to know who this is about? I know what it makes me think of (April/May 2013), but what about Taylor??

Castles Crumbling: Oh my GOD. Possibly one of my favorite TS collabs of all time??? The way Hayley and Taylor’s voices harmonize with one another is hypnotic. This felt so ghostly and morbid, like a sister to Haunted and even a forefather to Nothing New? Biggest stand out to me so far.

Foolish One: Everything about this, down to the title, feels like a direct attack. There was absolutely a point in my life (in 2010, no less) when I would have played this CONSTANTLY. Maybe I should still do that now 🙃

Timeless: I started sobbing as soon as the first chorus hit. I recognized Marjorie in the lyric video thumbnail and knew that this one would probably make me emotional, but I wasn't expecting just how quickly it would reduce me to tears. My boyfriend overheard me crying and came out to the living room to hug me. Completely devastated me, but I love it. An even bigger stand out than CC!

I had to take a break to collect myself, and iced some cookies I made to celebrate the album release. My biggest thought with the Vault tracks was just, "Damn, I wish these had been out in the world back in 2010 because I really could have used them in high school." At least they’re here now though.

Superman: Listened while icing cookies because I knew that it would be the last song in my listen-through otherwise, and I didn't want to end the session on a sour note, because I do NOT like Taylor's intended subject on this song, or the person I used to personally associate it with when I was younger. It’s a good song! Just not one I gravitate toward anymore.

Mine: I immediately noticed the lack of earnestness, youth and twang in her voice on this recording. I don’t know why, but it was hard to get past. I just know this song SO well after all these years, and this version felt almost jarringly different.

Sparks Fly: This was better. Still not the same as the original, but a better mix of old and new, in my opinion. Also loved the inclusion of the Speak Now World Tour footage in the lyric video.

Back To December: Another one where I just know it so well that I can notice every single difference. Some of the vocal inflections were not my fave, but overall it’s another good mix of old and new. (Also I hope Taylor Lautner is having an incredible day, as he deserves.)

Speak Now: Right out of the gate, I hated her vocals on this one, which crushed me. This song was one I had been looking forward to hearing the most. As I kept listening, I was trying to reserve my judgement, but by the end I had to accept that I just do not like this version. The lack of youthful exuberance in her voice was extremely noticeable, and I felt that was to the detriment of the song. I'm so upset to say I don't like this one.

Dear John: Who else up wanting back their girlhood? Vocally, this was beautiful. This one transcends time, and actually hurts more to hear sung at 32. You can feel how her voice has changed from utter sadness to bitter anger. I loved how she completely capitalized, "OVER YOUR SAD EMPTY TOWN" in the lyric video.

Mean: THANK GOD THE TWANG IS BACK!!!!! If ever there was a song we needed it on, it was this one!! (Please can we keep this energy for Debut TV????? 🙏🏼)

The Story of Us: The whole time I was just thinking, "Okay!!!! Yes!!!!!" Vocally, this is exactly what I was hoping for. Killed it.

Never Grow Up: Had me sobbing again. I remember listening to this for the first time at 17 and thinking, “Is this going to be life one day?” and now I’m 30 and my friends have kids and I’m in my grown up apartment and it IS all so much colder than I thought it would be. This is another one that hurts more to hear sung at 32 than at 19. I feel like I can remember my whole life when I listen to it, which just makes the tears come harder. I had to stop and grab tissues from my room and hug my boyfriend for a bit before coming back to finish the album.

Enchanted: PERFECTION. So good. I adored the lyric video transition from her Speak Now World Tour performance of the song into her singing it at The Eras Tour.

Better Than Revenge: NO. Nope. I could write a dissertation at this point about why I think the lyric change was a massive, massive mistake, but y’all already know. This was NOT the move at all and it will never hit as well as the original. I'm so disappointed.

Innocent: So good. Again, another one that hits different with age, especially hearing her sing, “Thirty-two and still growing up now.” I was remembering watching her perform it live at the VMAs for the first time as I was listening. Such a special moment that KW then came out and absolutely ruined with Runaway. I still firmly believe that this song is way, way too good for the person it’s about.

Haunted: Right off the bat all I could think was, "Uhhhhh what the FUCK happened to the production here????" That new echo-y layering effect is NOT IT and ruined the song for me.

Last Kiss: Immediately noticed different, sharper instrumentation with the harp, and I did not like it. Vocally it just didn't hit the same either. Instead of deeply sad, it just feels sort of lifeless. I probably put too much stock into this one because it means so much to me, but even still. I fully gave up on expecting the shaky breath to get a repeat feature because I just don’t think you can recreate something like that, but damn. This version just does not feel right to me and I’m sad about it.

Long Live: Tears AGAIN, this song always always gets me. This version is perfection, another timeless one. I think they made the right move by having the lyric video be comprised completely of footage of Taylor performing it on the Speak Now World Tour.

Ours: This was my absolute favorite song on the album back in the day. I always loved how you could hear the smile in her voice as she sang, and unfortunately I didn’t really feel that at all on this version. At least we still had the giggle toward the end! Overall I think it’s still solid, just not the same, and that was disappointing.

My final thoughts after just one listen-through feel so up and down, which I was not expecting at all! I feel so conflicted and disappointed.

With Fearless TV, it took me a little bit to come around fully to the vocal changes. You just can't recapture that same youthful earnestness that she was singing with as a teenager. But when I got the vinyl in the mail and put it on, I don't know, something just finally clicked for me, and now I love it.

With Red TV, I was fully on board from the jump, and I consider the TV to be the definitive version of the album. But with Speak Now, it's nowhere close. I feel like half the original songs I really loved the new versions of, and half were huge let downs. That makes me so sad to say.

I know it's only been one listen, and if there's anything I've learned from tracking my first impressions over the past 5 years, it's that my opinions will absolutely morph and change as time goes on and I listen more and more. I just never expected to feel disappointment like this.

[maruyaaya]

Hey Imeda! I am Low! I read your Pandalily fic recently and I adored it! I saw that you haven't had this account long and since I can't peruse/stalk your account to satiate my curiosity I've decided to inquire here :) I hope you don't mind.

Do you have any specific Pandora or Lily headcanons you can share? Do you have any WIPs in the works? Do you have any songs you are listening to on repeat right now? What are the top 5 ships that are giving you the most insistent brain rot currently?

And finally, I am done pestering you and I'm wishing you a day full of wonder <3

OMG HI LOW!! yes absolutely i am always happy to talk about pandalily they are my beloveds <3 yeah i set up this acc relatively recently bc i wanted a fresh start for my ao3 and i haven’t really had the chance to do much on it yet (i am unfortunately a full time university student) but i am so happy you sent an ask bc i am always excited to talk to ppl!! feel free to send more asks or even dm me for whatever reason!!

i’m gonna do the pandalily headcanons last bc i have so many of them, but firstly do i have any wips:

oh i ABSOLUTELY have wips. i actually am the worst at starting wips and never finishing them, but as for main ones i’m working on rn, i have a prongsfoot wip that’s currently around 50k words 75% done, a marauders x daisy jones & the six au, a (you have to hear me out on this one okay bc i know nobody ships this but me BUT HEAR ME OUT) friends with benefits sirius x barty fic that’s about half done, and another pandalily fic that is basically just taking shape but i don’t have much to say about it yet (im actually just the worst multishipper ever and i ship my favourite character, sirius, with every single person who dares to so much as breathe in his direction)

songs on repeat

ok so i am totally willing to just link my spotify, in fact: here and i have a pandalily playlist in the works here, but specifically, i’ve had never love an anchor by the crane wives, three by sleeping at last, and funeral by phoebe bridgers on loop over and over as well as the entire daisy jones & the six album.

top 5 ships giving me brainrot

1. PRONGSFOOT!! prongsfoot is forever in my head as one of my fav ships ever

2. pandalily! i absolutely adore their dynamic and the little version of them that i have created in my head

3. rosekiller. i think this is a relatively unpopular opinion but i am so intrigued by their dynamic and i’m currently in the process of drafting a LONG fic about them but i haven’t done much work on it yet

4. dorlene. UGH MY OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS i am forever obsessed with them and i can’t believe i haven’t written them yet

5. normally i’d have jegulus around here i think but currently i’ve been having intensive brainrot about the idea of a dynamic between barty and sirius. i think they’re two characters who are very similar and yet hate each other and i think it’s really interesting to explore a two sides of the same coin dynamic between them and idk i have a lot of thoughts about them i could absolutely rant for a very long time abt the sirius/barty dynamic i have in my head

bonus bc it isn’t a marauders ship but my favourite ship of ALL TIME is soukoku, aka dazai/chuuya from bungou stray dogs. i like them a Normal amount (i’m crazy abt them)

and now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, here are a few of my pandalily headcanons that i can think of off the top of my head

first of all, my fav pandalily song is trouble by halsey. it’s literally them. that’s their dynamic to me

pandora’s much more open about her oddness and want for Blood while lily is more closed off about it. it’s still there—absolutely still there—but pandora kind of awakens it in her and helps her to realize that it’s okay to show that part of her

they met through james and regulus and often go on double dates with them

they absolutely get matching tattoos. probably ethel cain lyrics or something abt the inherent eroticism of cannibalism idk

my favourite headcanon is that pandora and evan are twins and evan tries to get lily the shovel talk when he meets her for the first time, but actually just ends up half in love with her bc he thinks she’s so cool

speaking of, evan and lily joke that they’re going to run away and elope so that evans name could be evan evans and pandora thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

bonus headcanon that evan is the older twin by a few minutes but pandora tells everyone that she is and he doesn’t correct her

they watched bones and all together and every 5 minutes they would whisper “this is so us” to each other

they absolutely LOVE baking together. they do it at least once a week and they make cookies or cupcakes or something and decorate them like pinterest photos and give them to their friends

they have two shared pinterest boards. one is really cutesy baking ideas and cute room decor inspo and the other is full of quotes abt cannibalism and blood and eating each other whole. they treasure both of these boards equally

lily is the biggest taylor swift fan ever and she makes pandora listen to her songs together. pandora moderately enjoys taylor swift, but will listen to her constantly to please lily. lily’s favourite song is this is me trying and pandora likes cowboy like me

they give each other flowers all the time (notably lilies ofc). pandora can’t stand to watch them die and always presses them and keeps them all in a little notebook with the date they got them

they’re obsessed with biting each other. like not even just during sex, they do it all the time. they’ll be watching a movie and pandora will just reach over and bite lily’s shoulder for fun

their favourite show to watch together is hannibal. they’re crazy about it. they rewatch it all the time to an unhealthy extent

they often say really strange declarations of love to each other in front of other people like “i want to eat you down to the bones” or “i want to rip open your skin and crawl inside your kidneys and sleep in there” and everyone around them just laughs nervously and can’t tell if they’re serious or not

i probably rambled much more than i needed to but i am always very excited to talk!!

[blookmallow]

ok the willy wonka fixation has been boiling somewhere in the back of my head ever since i had to supress it the other day so im just gonna go full stream of consciousness here until i burn out

( also yes i am aware of the upcoming prequel. i want to be excited but my expectations are low and the trailers felt very ‘trying too hard to be whimsical’ and not really genuine to me, but i refrain from judgement until ive seen it. im very open to the concept but uncertain about the potential execution)

SO ok so the thing is. i am a remake stan. in general and in the case of willy wonka. so. ok. about remakes. i genuinely think the people who reject remakes immediately on sight without giving it half a chance, and say they’re the true fans for doing so, are. hypocrites? thats not the right word. disingenuous? i dont know. my point is if you really love a story wouldnt you be excited to see a new telling of it? you dont have to like it, but people who say burton wonka sucks just Because its a remake and its not the original, thats just unfair to me

and if you dont like it because it isnt like the original - what would be the purpose of a remake if it’s exactly the same as the original? isnt the point to make it your own and put a new spin on it?

AND FURTHERMORE, gene wilder willy wonka is quite unlike the Actual Original, book wonka, to the point that roald dahl himself didnt even like the movie (i think. i havent researched that in a long time so my memory’s hazy)

and you know what! while personally i like the original more, its a major classic, nobody is gene wilder, nobody could ever be gene wilder, but johnny depp wasnt trying to Be gene wilder. he was playing his own version of the character and i respect that (you dont have to like him or his portrayal but my point is if he was just trying to be gene wilder it wouldve just been sad and weird. at least his version was unique and interesting)

so: if you hate it because its different? invalid, remakes SHOULD be different.

hate it because you hate johnny depp? fair, thats fine, you dont have to like him or his performance.

another complaint i see often is that ~they added all this weird unnecessary stuff~ and you know what????? Most of that is direct from the book. the dentist father backstory wasnt. you can criticize that. i personally dont have an issue with it but that is a departure from canon. however. the prince pondicherry story? from the book. grandpa joe used to work for wonka? from the book. wonka’s jungle adventures and how he met the oompa loompas? direct from the book. the oompa loompa songs have the direct word for word lyrics from the book for the most part. its closer to the original than the classic movie was, actually!

you know what didnt happen in the book? the fizzy lifting drinks scandal. the whole point was that charlie was a genuinely good, kind child who respected mr wonka, having him steal from him and be essentially the same as the other kids actively contradicts the point of the story! but we’re all cool with that, i guess??

another argument i see? oh its so weird to give this whimsical childrens story to tim burton, he made it so dark and offputting!

first of all. have you seen the original? remember the scary tunnel??? that shit is not in the book. that was never explained. they had no reason to put that in there but they did that for us. i love scary tunnel. but it has nothing to do with the original and is way creepier than anything tim burton did. plus you dont see the Bad Kids come out at the end so the implication that they just fucking died in there is way stronger (seeing them come out changed but alive happens in the book too!)

so, the original is possibly /scarier/, and on top of that - have you ever read a roald dahl book? any of them? this man wrote almost exclusively about horrible nasty scary things. he wrote a story about an evil crocodile who eats children (specifically, and spitefully) and then gets thrown into the sun and dies. he wrote about giants devouring children around the world every night while they sleep. he wrote about evil witches who lure children away to their horrible ghastly deaths for no reason other than They Hate Children. tim burton was a PERFECT fit and honestly i wish he’d gone darker

and dont even get me Started on “depp wonka is a pedophile!!!!!!!” because literally where the fuck did that accusation come from. again you dont have to like him. you can say hes weird and creepy and you dont like him. thats fine. but he never did Anything that remotely came across pedophillic in any sense. hes actively disgusted by children. violet hugs him and he is physically REPULSED. there are valid criticisms to be had here but he is Not A Pedophile and i am sick to death of hearing it

anyway. i think im normal now carry on