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cursedmagician · 2 months ago

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so. let's talk about that episode shall we?

major ii 17 spoilers under the cut, and lots of theories. read at your own risk.

divider by strangergraphics ✮⋆˙

I have no idea what to even think about that episode. I watched this at about 8 in the morning my time, and now I am in shambles and have been for the last several hours. I'm going to dump all my theories in this one blog post.

my first topic, and the elephant in the room - THIS IS NOT THE LAST ACT. NO WAY.

I've seen people asking if this is the last act and therefore the last ever episode in the series, and to that I say... obviously not. there's still so many plot points to be resolved.

like, for example, why would they add in a scene of the prime shimmers going to the contestant grounds if they weren't going to do something for it later?

yes I know that they were already used as merely a small plot device to allow the episode to progress, but when you think of it in the grand scheme of things there must be something more to it.

also, and - I may be going crazy here - but there might possibly be some sort of parallel of when cobs tells mephone to go "home" with him. we now know that all those previous theories of mephone being made with the shimmer egg are correct, because of fan. since that is the case, I feel like it would make sense for mephone's true home to be with the prime shimmer, right?

I feel like this could be a plot point in the next act. mephone feels more at home with the prime shimmer than he does with cobs (obviously). he would meet them and realise he feels strangely connected to them, and then he figures everything out which leads up to him discovering his true family. and I hope cobs rots and dies FOREVERRR

another point to add onto this is that remember how soap and mic took that photo together in the last episode?

well, soap was going through her recently deleted.

on apple (and I'm assuming meeple as well) devices, it takes 30 days for photos in the recently deleted photo to be fully erased from the device. before that, you can restore and fully erase as many photos as you like.

at the end of this episode when everything created by melife has been erased, baxter is seen walking up to soap's phone here.

in a scene where everything is gone, don't you think this is weirdly symbolic? they didn't have any other reason to show this which leads up to the next theory.

mephone is most likely going to find a way to bring everyone back through some way, and it might be through this system. I'm not saying I know how he's gonna do it, but this will totally be some sort of factor in the next act. hopefully.

second topic - what about bow and bot?

and I know what you all are thinking. I know that bow is definitely not gone, since she obviously isn't supported by melife anymore. (I'm a little curious, bow mentioned that she can't escape the confines of purgatory mansion, but since now that's been deleted, would she be able to roam free? just a thought...)

the same could be said for bot, since they were made by fan and test tube and not by melife. but there's been some speculation going around saying that since bot was made out of materials from test tube's lab, they would be deleted too right?

I actually think that's not necessarily the case.

we have no idea if test tube's materials or her lab was made out of things generated by melife. for all we know, she could have ordered the mechanical parts from overseas. she could have dug up the space she needed for the lab herself.

all we know is that the locations made for the game itself are generated by melife. however, test tube's lab has really nothing to do with the contest because it is its own thing.

so I think this entire theory is genuinely plausible. bot might still be out there somewhere, and I'm not going to say on the invitational island because we don't know if that entire thing was deleted too or just the floor's face. they genuinely might be making their way over to the season 2 grounds right now, wondering what is going on.

which could possibly make way for a bow and bot meeting, AND they might team up too to save the day!! that definitely feels like a direction that adam would be going for, and I personally would totally stand for it.

third topic - can mephone X be avoided or stopped somehow?

here's what I'm thinking.

lightbulb actually managed to dodge mephone X here, and even though yes she did get got in the end, you can at least delay the process or maybe even outrun them altogether.

there must be a reason as to why only the person who is being targeted can see mephone X, but that's a theory for another day.

now, this part is less of a theory and more of an idea - that is supported by numerous twitter posts - but what if you are able to see mephone X with another me device thingy?

think about it, what if taking a picture or just going through the camera app enables others to see them, therefore allowing the contestants to potentially disable mephone X for good?

assuming my theory is correct and they do come back somehow, I doubt that adam forgot about this plothole completely. there must be more significance to this in the future.

we all know how the main writing team writes. they think of everything, down to the small details, and the reference previous things that were thought to be insignificant before!! reminds me of bfdi in a way.

fourth topic - misc stuff/yapping

and well of course I had to dedicate an entire section to just my yapping alone. I know I'm still pretty new to blogging, I don't have many posts yet, but I think it's worth it to just leave my thoughts out here for people to cry over also.

firstly... OJ and paper's last conversation was an argument. lol!! XD!! also it was so funny as to how paper got so ticked off after salt said OJ is her boyfriend. I understand that he might have still felt pretty heated after everything that had been going on, + the argument they had earlier. and I know that OJ is very important to paper. but I still think it was really hilarious. some could say jealous. "he's not your boyfriend he was MINE!!"

ALSO!!! also also also THIS fucking scene...

this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life man. what the fuck. imagine if slasher movies were like this... like jigsaw or something. if I saw this in a slasher movie I would be terrified for my LIFE (something these contestants don't have).

I really really liked the scene where paintbrush was crying over lightbulb btw. jazzy did an amazing job at that, and they said that they didn't even cry to be able to voice it!! she's a very talented va, I aspire to be like her someday...

another thing I wanted to mention is this tweet made by brian a while ago (screenshot I nabbed from me_phone4 on twitter) yes this is absolutely going to be for inanimate insanity. no questions asked. hope is on the horizon guys.

ok I think that is the end of this post. likes and reblogs are appreciated, and also reblog if you want to add onto my theories later!

for now, signing off!! - CURSED MAGICIAN

#stage.drive #osc #osc community #object show #object shows #inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity act 2 #ii #ii osc #ii2 17 #ii 17 #ii 17 spoilers #osc discussion #ii discussion #ii predictions #fan theories #ii theory

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apoloadonisandnarcissus · 1 month ago

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I might be one of the few fans who don’t really see how Galadriel was sidelined in Season 2. Her connection with Nenya and her growing into her ring-bearer role was such a huge plot throughout the season, as well as her connecting to other races of Middle-earth, namely the Orcs. She’s also starting to understand she can’t possibly fight Sauron alone (which was her character arc in Season 1 and Season 2).

The show is called “Rings of Power”, Galadriel is the keeper of one of those rings of power. There is no way she can be sidelined, because she’s at the core of the story. The fact she’s not doing direct battle doesn’t change that.

If you are expecting Season 1 Galadriel moving forward, I’m afraid you’ll end up disappointed because that’s not her character arc in Tolkien lore during the Second age. The problem here is they moved her First age character to the Second age, and it’s creating a bunch of problems story-wise and a process that should last a few centuries looks instantaneous.

There are so many Galadriel plots the show hasn’t dealt with yet and it has nothing to do with Lothlórien. I see many fans worrying about her founding it and staying there barefoot and pregnant in Season 3. I don’t see any TV show, in this day and age, doing that to a female lead, even if and when Celeborn returns. And we know he will, because the showrunners confirmed it last year, we just don’t know when, so it can be Season 3, 4 or 5.

And this is why I don’t think we’ll see Celebrían on the show (maybe pregnant Galadriel in the epilogue or something). The elves are at war with Sauron, and will be until the end of the show. Everyone likes the bring up the legendarium, except for the fact Elves don’t have children during wartime. Celebrían was suppose to be born already during the show’s timeline, because she was born before the War of the Elves and Sauron (which started in Season 2 and will continue in Season 3), and we have the War of the Last Alliance next (Season 5):

We still have to see:

Galadriel growing into her political role (Lothlórien is not only a safe haven from evil, but a policial center, too); we already saw her as a commander and a war strategist, but the political side of her character has yet to be explored by the show;

Galadriel’s powers: she has telepathic powers (in the lore she uses them to talk to Frodo and Elrond); she can see into other beings’ minds, too. Her magical artifacts (mirror, phial, etc.) will probably be during the Lothlórien arc, though;

I would love for the show to explore her connection with the Dwarves (to connect to her gifting three strands of her hair to Gimli on the Third age);

I really want her to meet Gandalf, and explore the beginning of that friendship;

Actually my biggest concern about Galadriel in Season 3, and if blood binding theory is correct, is the show giving us some weird “Exorcist” stuff, with her being locked up somewhere for her “own protection” against Sauron. This would be absolutely awful, and I hope they don’t go there.

Sure, give me Galadriel wrecking stuff up with her new found powers. The show can even give me “Samara Morgan Galadriel” Peter Jackson style and other characters terrified of her, but do not lock her up, please.

The wisest way to approach “blood binding” is following the Harry Potter-Voldemort route (ironic); with nightmares, visions and access to Sauron’s mind and plans, and vice-versa. Galadriel is tormented by it but goes about her everyday life, pretending everything’s fine, until the climax of the season.

And enough of her feud with Elrond; he’s the Sam to her Frodo in the Galadriel/Frodo parallel the show is doing. His character needs to be supportive of Galadriel, and her emotional rock like Sam was to Frodo.

#Galadriel rings of power #Galadriel trop #Galadriel rop #Nenya rings of power #Saurondriel #Sauron x Galadriel #Haladriel #Elrond rings of power #Elrond RoP #Elrond trop

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nesiacha · 4 months ago

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Thank you, Elisabeth Le Bas!

Thank you for these touching memoirs. Her modesty also moved me, as she is clearly one of those women behind the scenes who encouraged their revolutionary husbands, who would not have been as effective without them. She possesses an extraordinary strength of character and integrity that many men should have been inspired by instead of placing their individual interests first. The revolution could have been saved (no need to specify who I am targeting here). Although her memoirs may at first seem to portray a woman who simply supports those she loves, it is actually much deeper than that. She attended political debates with Charlotte Robespierre, showing that they were far more politically engaged than they appeared. By the way, I have a theory about Philippe Le Bas based on an excerpt from Elisabeth Le Bas:

"It was the day when Marat was borne in triumph to the Assembly that I saw my beloved Philippe Le Bas for the first time.

I found myself, that day, at the National Convention with Charlotte Robespierre. Le Bas came to greet her; he stayed with us for a long time and asked who I was. Charlotte told him that I was one of her elder brother’s host’s daughters. He asked her a few questions about my family; he asked Charlotte if we came to the Assembly often, and said that on a particular day there would be a rather interesting session. He urged her to come to it."

I haven’t found any evidence that Le Bas defended the rights of womens citizens (I hope I’m wrong because I really like him as a revolutionary, so feel free to correct me). Yet, I have no valid reason to doubt what he said to Charlotte Robespierre about encouraging these two women to attend a session of the Assembly. I get the impression that Le Bas was one of those men who valued women’s political opinions, had no problem with them attending political sessions, but didn’t see the point of them participating more actively in political life. I imagine he had no objections to discussing it privately with Elisabeth.

Philippe and Elisabeth Le Bas form such a touching couple (I almost applauded when they were finally able to marry), and I really liked that, together with Henriette Le Bas (another woman who is too unknown in the revolution, but fortunately Tumblr is here to bring them out of the shadows), she accompanied her husband and Saint-Just (she was one of the many women who accompanied the revolutionaries on their missions, like Charlotte Robespierre, Sophie Momoro, etc.).

I also really appreciated the relationship she had with Eleonore Duplay, where we also see the courage of her sister in adversity. Paradoxically, it’s in Elisabeth Le Bas’s memoirs that I began to appreciate Charlotte Robespierre. Charlotte Robespierre’s memoirs contain quite a few inaccuracies, as other Tumblr users have pointed out, and I thought to myself, it’s impossible, she’s way too “saintly,” I don’t believe it for a second (not to mention that she comes across as too apolitical, but I imagine those who helped write the memoirs didn’t want a thinking woman). Here, thanks to certain passages from Elisabeth and what we know from the Mathons, we have proof that she is certainly not a saint (no one is), but she’s not a heartless, toxic, or selfish woman as I’ve seen (not on Tumblr but on other forums, where they oddly bash Robespierre but blame Charlotte for disowning her brother; those who say these things are inconsistent, plus I’d like to see how they would have reacted if they had faced the same threat as Charlotte). She is a woman with touching qualities (like her kindness towards Elisabeth, her desire to accompany her brother on a mission, when she designated Mademoiselle Mathon as her heir, or that at the end of her life, she wanted to rehabilitate her brothers) but also with weaknesses (I would start with her completely inaccurate memoirs, I think the disagreement between Madame Duplay, Eleonore, and Charlotte involved shared faults, just like the dispute between Augustin and Charlotte, especially the letter Augustin wrote to Maximilien about Charlotte, etc.). Thanks to Elisabeth Le Bas’s memoirs, Charlotte Robespierre is neither a monster nor a too-perfect being, she is just a human being. By the way, I don’t blame her for disowning her family name and her brothers temporarily because the danger could have been real. She was a civilian who didn’t seek trouble, and in that respect, it was trouble (more precisely, the Thermidorians) that came to her. I also don’t blame her for asking Bonaparte for a pension and continuing to receive one under Louis XVIII because life for a single woman was very hard at that time. It took extraordinary strength of character to avoid doing all that, and not many people had it. Where I do criticize Charlotte Robespierre is for embellishing the reality concerning her in her memoirs.But it was very sad that she was not able to reconcile with her brothers especially Augustin before she died because none of them seem toxic to me. If France and the revolution had no longer been in danger, if they had survived, I think they would have reconciled, but I can't speak for them.

Returning to Elisabeth’s memoirs, I smiled when she idealized the revolutionaries she was close to, like the Robespierre brothers or Saint-Just, although after recognizing many of his qualities, she said he could sometimes be severe due to his great love for the country and the revolution. But it’s normal that she idealized them and defended them loyally because she was simply being loyal to the revolutionary struggles they were leading and in which she believed, even though it would have been good to see their flaws in her memoirs. Memoirs are always subjective, even from an honest person like Elisabeth Le Bas. Despite everything, she is attached to her country and is capable of making a judgment when she says in the excerpt, “Nevertheless, he needed to leave; Robespierre, who had great confidence in Le Bas because he knew his wise and prudent character well, had chosen him to accompany Saint-Just, whose burning love of the patrie sometimes led to too much severity, and who had a tendency to get carried away.�� On the other hand, what troubles me about this statement is that normally, a person is not sent on a mission based on the will of just one other person; it usually requires the majority of votes within the CPS or the CSG (sometimes in the Convention). But we see that Elisabeth stays in the background yet makes a thoughtful political judgment to better safeguard the endangered French Revolution.

However, I didn’t like that Elisabeth constantly put herself down by describing herself as scatterbrained when everything indicated that she was not. I was saddened by the tragic fate of Philippe Le Bas, even though we all knew it was inevitable. At least they were able to say goodbye. At least he died before seeing the tragic outcome of the revolution. I found Madame Duplay’s death unfair. Poor Duplay family, who went through one tragedy after another but found the strength to bounce back. I admired Eleonore for helping Elisabeth during her most tragic moments in prison. I applauded when Elisabeth Le Bas showed astonishing courage in front of her adversaries from prison to her release. She never asked for anything and displayed extraordinary strength.

Even though I wouldn’t have blamed her for abandoning the revolution to survive with her son in such difficult times, she didn’t do it, whereas some “revolutionaries” greedy for their wallets destroyed the revolution, endangered France, and undermined the revolutionary people's efforts for social progress that had begun since 1789. The obligation of loyalty to the revolution that deputies like Fouché, Barras, or a general named Bonaparte should have respected was found in the daughter and wife of an authentic revolutionary (especially in the worst moments). Honor to her (and to the many men and women like Elisabeth) and shame on all those greedy ones (I must admit that my language is blunt and could be more nuanced if making a historical judgment, but I’m more in the realm of value judgment, so I feel I can allow myself some liberties, sorry for the fans of theses characters it's only my view).

On a more positive note, thank you, Elisabeth Le Bas, for fighting against this all-too-common black legend of the revolution through your memoirs.

Thank you for your journey as a fighter. If only the greedy deputies I mentioned earlier had a quarter of your integrity and courage and remembered that they were there to serve the people, as they are in their positions solely because of the people and thanks to them, the revolution would surely have lasted longer.

Thank you, Elisabeth, for all you did with so many others. May your life serve as an example and a source of strength for us.

#frev #french revolution #duplay #Elisabeth Le Bas #philippe le bas #women of revolution

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jennaimmortal · 1 year ago

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Musings on OFMD Season 2

I’m feeling a bit sad today for the OFMD writers. After rewatching S1 & 2 a couple times, it’s become blatantly clear to me that Izzy’s arc this season was a very obvious love letter to both Izzy fans & the great Con O’Neil. Izzy was very clearly written to be an obstacle to Ed’s healing & personal growth, a snare that Ed needed to be freed from, albeit with plenty of nuance hiding under the surface. It would have been much easier for them to kill Izzy off while he was still the toxic, abusive, sadomasochistic terror of S1E10.

Instead of taking the easy route, though, the writers flipped the trope on its head! They utilized every bit of the potential buried beneath Izzy’s super fucked up shell. This season Izzy got

• a fully fleshed out redemption complete with terrible consequences of his 1x10 actions

• a realization of the possibility of another way of thinking & existing that he’d spent all of S1 running from & trying to destroy,

• genuine love & support from his crew mates which he was actually able to accept,

• exploration of the long abandoned softer side of his nature,

• an apology from Ed w/o first offering one of his own,

• a powerful, devastatingly poignant speech that mentally demolished a new nemesis, and finally

• a beautiful, meaningful death in the arms of the man he’d dedicated so much of his life to, known that he was truly loved by him & completely accepting of the fact that Ed’s love was not in the form he’d always hoped for.

It was so much more than we could have hoped for, and was very obviously done in service to the MANY fans that had fallen in love with Izzy even after S1, as well as to give Con a storyline worthy of his immense talent. Considering the face that Izzy was never going to end up becoming the show’s third protagonist, it was more than we could have hoped for!

OFMD has two protagonists, Stede & Ed. All the secondary character narratives that haven’t directly involved Ed and/or Stede have been icing on the cake, but the cake has always been the Gentlebeard love story. I feel like some people forget this, expecting them to treat the secondary characters as if it were an ensemble show instead of a show with leads.

Izzy’s arc really was an amazing gift! The writers gave us this incredible journey for Izzy this season, and what did a disgraceful number of people do? They attacked David directly, insulted the entire show, the writers, & other characters, even wishing actual harm & misery to other characters or even to David himself!

While I know that comparatively speaking, the percentage of show fans who reacted this way was relatively small, it was still an astounding amount of hatred & vitriol thrown at the people who had obviously worked very hard to give Izzy fans something beautiful to hold on to after his inevitable death. Much of the discourse honestly shocked me, considering the fact that OFMD isn’t even an adaptation of another work.

When fans get angry at shows written as adaptations of books, it’s a bit more understandable for them to have extreme reactions. They’ve had certain ideas and headcanons about characters they’ve felt very strongly about for a long time. It can be really jarring & painful when expectations like that aren’t met, the characters or plots are taken in totally different directions, or even excluded entirely.

OFMD, however, is an original creation. This is David Jenkins’s story. These are David Jenkins’s characters. He knows his story, his plotlines, his characters far better than anyone else does because they came from HIS brain! So while we as fans can have our own interpretations & head canons, they are always going to be at risk of being proven totally wrong by the ACTUAL canon.

One of the worst aspects of fandoms, in my opinion, is the way people become so proprietary over the story & characters, insisting that their own interpretations & theories are the only correct ones, which is exactly what happened with Izzy. Fans’ individual & collective interpretations, theories, hopes, & other head canons became concrete & true in their minds. So much so that when the actual story didn’t meet those expectations, so many of them lashed out in some truly unpleasant, sometimes hateful ways.

My only hope is that the rest of the fandom’s love, appreciation, constructive criticism, heartbreak, pain, joy, & excitement has been enough to drown out the deluge of vitriolic comments directed at David & the other writers.

If you stuck with me through this unintentionally long diatribe, thank you! Maybe take a moment to give the writers some comments or replies on social media, showing your love! I know I will!

#our flag means death #ofmd #ed teach #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd izzy #izzy hands

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bethanydelleman · 7 months ago

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do you have any theories on why wickham turned out the way he did? his background sounds humble but not dirt poor as i know steward was a really valued job at the time. and as the elder mr. darcy liked him, he probably had a better life than plenty of boys. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't recall any mention of a mom or siblings, so darcy was probably his main childhood companion. it's just horrible to think that over the years he went from seeing darcy as a friend to someone he could ruin. and he was prepared to ruin georgiana's life, not just take all her money but cause a scandal so she might not ever get married again. and if darcy hadn't found lydia he'd probably just leave her where she was with no way of getting home and destroyed the bennets. like why? everyone was nothing but nice to him his whole life and all he does is hurt them and enjoy doing it. when you think about it kind of sounds evil.

From what I understand, Wickham was a failure of a system whereby a rich person would choose someone poorer to patronize. We can see other examples of this in Emma (Jane Fairfax & Harriet Smith) and especially Mansfield Park (Fanny & William Price).

The idea was that the rich would find someone worthy of improvement, sponsor their education, and give them the ability to raise into the gentry class. This sounds like what Mr. Darcy Sr. tried with Wickham, but in this case it was a failure. What ended up happening isn't that Wickham was grateful, but he ended up feeling entitled to the life of a Darcy. The novel's implication is that Wickham had a bad character, which education could not improve, and that Mr. Darcy Sr. was deceived in because Wickham had a veneer of decency.

From Darcy's Letter:

Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman’s education. My father was not only fond of this young man’s society, whose manners were always engaging, he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities, the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have.

Wickham's account:

“We were born in the same parish, within the same park; the greatest part of our youth was passed together: inmates of the same house, sharing the same amusements, objects of the same parental care."

In Mansfield Park, Sir Thomas talks about how difficult it will be to maintain the distinction between his daughters and Fanny, their adopted niece, and when I think about how Wickham turned out, I think this is meant to be taken seriously (even though Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris screwed up massively):

“There will be some difficulty in our way, Mrs. Norris,” observed Sir Thomas, “as to the distinction proper to be made between the girls as they grow up: how to preserve in the minds of my daughters the consciousness of what they are, without making them think too lowly of their cousin; and how, without depressing her spirits too far, to make her remember that she is not a Miss Bertram. I should wish to see them very good friends, and would, on no account, authorise in my girls the smallest degree of arrogance towards their relation; but still they cannot be equals. Their rank, fortune, rights, and expectations will always be different. It is a point of great delicacy, and you must assist us in our endeavours to choose exactly the right line of conduct.”

Fanny feels grateful for what the Bertrams give her, even though it's scraps of a real education. Wickham ends up feeling entitled, even though he is "liberally bestowed" and that may have been the problem. He was treated too similarly to Darcy and felt that he was a Darcy, only to find out the patronage didn't go as far as he wanted.

Wickham comes off to me as one of those people who is ALWAYS innocent in his own mind, someone else is always the cause of his misfortunes (he's like Willoughby in that respect). So when he tells Elizabeth about how he lost his inheritance, I think he believes what he is saying. He does think Darcy cheated him somehow even though he was in the wrong. Darcy becomes the tyrant because Wickham refuses to be the villain of his own story.

In addition, I don't know if he would have seen Darcy as a friend. Darcy is one of the few people who can see through Wickham and a con man would hate that. Wickham's dislike of Darcy may well have started because he hates that Darcy can perceive and judge the real him.

#wickham #pride and prejudice #jane austen #question response

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sysmedsaresexist · 2 months ago

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To the anon asking about my username...

There's a bit of confusion here, I'm going to answer many of your questions but I may not post the ask itself, hopefully it'll make sense :)

When I started my blog I was heavily anti endo and I specifically posted bad pro/endo takes, debunking or just laughing. To this day, most of it is still pretty hilarious. I wasn't focused on cringe, but totally crazy, out there claims that made zero sense and were flat out wrong. Check out my tags #shit endos say, #shit singlets say, and my newest tag, #shit anti endos say, I hope you have a laugh at a couple of them.

In my pinned post, you'll see the thing that started it all. A pro endo saying that sysmeds are sexist.

I would also like to know how they came to that conclusion. I'm right there with you. Also like you, I still have many issues with the pro/endo community. I believe CDDs are trauma based disorders. I post research pretty much weekly about it (check out #debunk and #research). I think endogenic plurality and CDDs are completely different things.

And you know what, my pro endo friends support me. We're all learning. I'm kind with my opinion, I'm open to talking about it, we debate, we share resources, we change our views and adjust based on new info.

This blog corrects misinformation from both sides, now. Some of it is worse than others. Antis can and do spread just as much misinformation as pro/endos.

What I would encourage you to do is start with the multiple selves theory. It actually developed right alongside Freud's theories on hysteria (which included early versions of CDDs at the time), and if Freud hadn't been such a perv, it might actually be much more well-known. It's a nonpathological theory on consciousness and philosophy. People have been describing this phenomenon for a very long time, "endogenic" is just the newest term for it. Here's a couple examples.

2015 - at any given moment in time, one or another of our subselves is in control and determines how we think and act.

1987

2012 - this one has so many links to other people talking about this theory

2023 - These results suggest that the normative principles by which agents have adapted to complex changing environments may also explain why humans have long been described as consisting of “multiple selves.”

2020

2010

Like I said, though, you can find this stuff as far back as the 50s with ease, anything older might take a bit more digging, but it's not a small or new theory.

I think an overlap in language has created a lot of confusion, but it's really not out of the realm of possibility for people to be more in tune with these parts of themselves. It's been documented for over a century outside of psychology, in other areas of research-- anthropology, philosophy.

I'm going to be honest, I don't think a single one of the headmate sale blogs are real. I think they're antis trying to start shit. Like maybe one out of every ten is actually someone misguided behind the screen.

Even CDD systems still incorrectly believe in core theory, endogenics picked it up from us and don't know any better. System resets aren't real, but there are real experiences that can FEEL like a reset-- try being patient and educating people. Ignore the others, because some people just can't be helped, and you're better off spending your time spreading good, accurate posts than arguing with people who don't want to learn anything.

I forget what I was saying.

Anyways, I'm a pro endo sysmed.

I hope you'll stick around and see what's going on.

#syscourse #pro syscourse conversation #sysconversation #debunk #research #multiple selves #pro endo #anti endo #syspunk is appalled #plural #plurality #multiplicity

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lej222 · 9 months ago

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Exploring ASLFUA Through Symbolism - The Importance of Year 1999

Hello guys! :) I'm so happy for all the messages that I've received, and while many of you asked me to post theories, this one will rather be an observation about Unripe Apples, but I hope it will be interesting enough. :)

To start off, many people have noticed that the year the story takes place in, 1999, is referenced in the Korean title of After School Lessons. While it might seem insignificant at first, I firmly believe that there is a connection between what happens in the world and Miae's personal growth story. Let me explain.

The importance of 1999

1999 was a symbolic year for many reasons. It was the last year of the century, and many people celebrated the beginning of a new millenium (even if there are arguments supporting 2001 as the start of it). When something long ends, it means that something new also starts. 1999 was a transition period in the minds of many - some people believed the end of the year would sign the end of humanity, like how it was highlighted in the first chapters of the webtoon as a joke. So aside from the obvious change in years, it also had a spritual aspect - ending one part of your old life, and starting anew as a different person, also moving on. Does it sound familiar? Because this is exactly what happens to Miae in the story.

Miae is in a transition period in her life - middle school is soon ending and she has to go to high school. She meets someone from her childhood who becomes her first love. And most importantly, Miae grows as a person while meeting new people and understanding their perspectives (or so she probably will, more about this later on). As a new century starts, Miae has to say goodbye to old friends and embrace new challenges. Which, if my prediction is correct, will mark the end of the story. The end of the year will mean a stage of Miae's life also concludes, while a new chapter will start (high school, new friends, new experiences, etc.) But how is it really presented for us readers?

The world revolves around Miae - until it doesn't

While Cheol and Miae are both protagonists of the story, one could argue Miae gets the most focus in the narrative. We see most of her thoughts, her memories, her interactions with others, her family, etc. While Cheol's growth is a big part of the story, his development is nearly concluded at the end of the first part. Cheol gains confidence, friends, he becomes more expressive, he falls in love. What we can expect from him is his confrontation with the school bully and the resolution of his romance with Miae. Cheol seems immature at first, but with Miae's help he learns and matures. On the other hand, Miae seemingly becomes more immature as the story progresses. It sounds contradictory, because I've just said she was the catalyst to Cheol's growth and has helped him understand when he was wrong. But Miae's world is limited, and it becomes even more obvious as the story unfolds.

Like any kid, Miae has problems that seem trivial for adults, but were probably concerns for a lot of us when we were at her age. She has to study although she hates it, likes hanging out with her friends and read comic books, wants to buy new things and falls in love. Her life is seemingly like a comic book - she feels like the protagonist, every encounter with Cheol feels fateful, and she can, even if it requires effort, befriend anyone and understand them. Like any other teenager, Miae feels like the center of her own universe and thinks the world is ending when she experiences negative feelings. It's part of growing up, and it is perfectly illustrated by the comic about the neighbours next door in the story. But growing up also means looking beyond our own limited world. While her encounters with Cheol seem like it was their destiny, many of them were created because of their families (Cheol's family moving there was probably because of their friendship, Cheol got his room because his sister wanted to tease him,etc.) Growing up means that you have to understand that not everything will go your way and not everything stays the same. Growing up means dealing with people whom you cannot understand and might not like you. And most importantly, you learn that life is not a fairy tale and conflicts do not get resolved without communication and feelings won't be understood unless you express them. Which is one of Miae's biggest weaknesses and the source of her immaturity.

Enter Seo Jisu

This is not a shipping post and I love all the characters, so please spare me before I get cancelled. Seo Jisu enters at the perfect time in the story, when Miae starts to lose her sense of boundaries as her feelings for Cheol keep growing. Although Jisu was in the story since the first chapter, Miae's limited universe did not acknowldege him even though they were classmates. She did not know his name, his reputation at school, doesn't remember him from her childhood and doesn't seem to care about him at all. But why did he enter at the perfect moment?

Like I've said, Cheol's catalyst was Miae, but Miae's world was still too small, revolving around Cheol too much. She was still insesitive in many ways and immature. Enter Jisu, Miae's catalyst for personal growth. Jisu is a challenge for Miae just like Miae was for Cheol, no surprise they mirror each other (Miae saying the same thing to Jisu as what Cheol said to Miae is the perfect example.) Miae cannot understand him, she thinks he's weird and wants him to stop following her (sounds familiar?) and makes assumptions about him without trying to talk or get to know him. And while Cheol put in effort to better his relationship with Miae, she does not do the same for Jisu. Jisu is a glitch in the system, one that was not expected and shakes her peaceful days (just like how Miae was the same for Cheol) However, Jisu's presence becomes an important learning opportunity for Miae. There's a reason why I think it was necessary to add him as a potential love interest even if there were already great candidates. And it's because Jisu is mature in ways Miae isn't. The perfect example is when he told her to stop interrupting the confession. And she thought about his words after the incident, and felt ashamed when she was talking to the girl who wanted to confess. And what would happen, let's say, if she realized Jisu was different because of his own circumstances, and not because he wanted to bully her? She knew Cheol wasn't a gangster because she knew him personally. For Miae's world to expand, she needs to make her own efforts and understand others.

The universe seems to like Miae, and interacts with her multiple times in her dreams. Miae is a precious child of the world who is loved, but needs guidance. Right now, as we approach the end of the year the story takes place in, Miae needs to mature and be ready for a new phase of her life. Whether the transition period will end with something (like her and Cheol parting ways) or start with something new (Miae and Cheol getting together at the end of 1999 and running around in circles through the majority of the year) - it doesn't matter. What matters is how she will develop as a person and what she will learn. It's beyond a simple love triangle, it's about people who inspire and help each other and learn from their mistakes. They are kids, they keep changing. The best way is to read ASLFUA as a growth story, not as a romance series, because at the end of the day what matters are the connections these kids create with each other and the memories they make.

#aslfua #after school lessons for unripe apples #hwang miae #seo jisu #mi ae hwang #kim cheol #cheol kim

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buckingham-ashtray · 6 months ago

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SHERLOCK DID CHOOSE THE RIGHT PILL. STEVEN SAID SO

After rewatching ASIP again today, I think I might have finally discovered the truth about if Sherlock has chosen the correct pill.

The answer is YES.

I will save you time and tell you right here right now that the truth lies simply in how certain shots were particularly framed. However, if you do wish to discover the Why, then here is the other end of the handcuffs, be my most welcomed guest.

Let me start with a notice that I am as well aware as I can be that A LOT of people have already analyzed this mystery countless times from every possible angle. And while I remain confident in “The Princess Bride Theory” and am sure it's still the most possible solution (given the impossible odds), it might not be the case in Sherlock's situation. Here are two possibilities:

According to Mr Cabbie (Jefferson Hope), Sherlock's "fan" / his sponsor (later revealed to be Moriarty) has warned him about Sherlock in advance:

SHERLOCK: How did you find me?

JEFF: Oh, I recognised yer, soon as I saw you chasing my cab. Sherlock ’olmes! I was warned about you. I’ve been on your website, too. Brilliant stuff! Loved it!

SHERLOCK: Who warned you about me?

JEFF: Just someone out there who’s noticed you.

Now, Mr Cabbie’s kids get money every time their dad murders someone, yes, but since Moriarty has particularly warned Hope about Sherlock instead of warning him OFF Sherlock, it could be possible that the pay would be higher if Hope succeeds in murdering Sherlock. (But also given that Moriarty was much more interested in making Sherlock dance rather than killing him, this assumption is very likely wrong)

The second possibility is that could it be for both types of pills to be harmless to Hope (with his aneurysm), and only one of them deadly to the victims? (This hypothesis is also very unlikely, due to the fact that Hope did not have a real gun and was unlikely capable of strangling full-grown adults to death with his hands if they’ve actually chosen the harmless pill)

Thus, in this meta we are temporarily abandoning The Princess Bride Theory, assuming that there actually were a good pill and a bad pill for Hope as well, and focus entirely on the framing.

[I watched Ben’s new TV series ERIC a month ago and was astonished to realize that I was able to pick up on hidden messages so rapidly during the show. (Really recommend it! And if you’re into interpreting intricate movies as well, definitely watch The Power of the Dog too! I like it so much I am currently reading the novel.) A huge thanks to all you clever clever TJLCers, for that if it wasn’t for you and TJLC I would never have developed this ability at all to write this short meta.]

The key idea is to constantly ask yourself “Why?”. Why is this shot framed that way? Why did that light go out first? Why is this seemingly unimportant detail included here? Why did this dialogue happen?

Why did Steven Moffat write in the script that Hope chose the building on the right?

If there’s one thing I know for certain, it is that NOTHING in BBC Sherlock is there without a reason. So, why was the right building the “right” one, instead of the left? Does it parallel how the two bottles of pills were placed on the table? If we make the assumption that Right is correct and Left is wrong, is there any other evidence to support it?

YES.

1. The pills

WHY is it that EVERY TIME the two pill bottles were given close up shots side by side, it was ALWAYS the one on Hope’s right in focus?

2. The doors

WHY is it that Sherlock and Hope entered through the right side of the door in the right building, and John ran through the left side of the door in the left/wrong building?

WHY is it that John burst through the right side of the door AFTER Sherlock has chosen the pill on the right?

3. The positions

WHY is it that Sherlock was ALWAYS on the left side of the frame and Hope the right without ANY exceptions?

WHY is it that they switched positions AT ONCE, the moment Sherlock chose the pill on the right? (Also note that Sherlock held his pill in his right hand and Hope his left)

Why Why Why?

If it’s just once or twice, we could still dismiss them as “coincidences”. (What did we say about coincidence?) But this many? Implicated in such platent ways? I was an absolute idiot for not seeing this sooner.

If every single shot implies that right is Right and left is Wrong, Hope slid the pill on the left to Sherlock, and Sherlock chose the one originally on the right, is there any possibility that he chose the wrong one?

NOT. A. CHANCE.

All screencaps taken from here.

(I really wanted to tag someone but sadly I don’t know any of you wonderful people and it feels terribly intrusive and impolite to tag someone you don’t know :( Please definitely let me know if you wish to be tagged and thank you so much for coming to my ted talk.)

#MYSTERY SOLVED #steven you sneaky little #I was so blind #how could I’ve possibly missed this all this time??#bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #sherlock #sherlock s1 #a study in pink #asip #tjlc #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #sherlock meta #my meta #buckingham-ashtray

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ls-true-successor · 2 months ago

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Does Near have aphantasia?

Aphantasia :

"the inability to form mental images of real or imaginary people, places, or things

Derek has a condition called aphantasia, which means he is unable to voluntarily produce mental imagery."

—Brooke McAfee

Quote taken from merriam-webster/.com

Please keep in mind this is just my personal theory and is not canon, also this tumbler post is not a replacement for actual research!!

Before I ramble about why I think he has it I want to rant about which part of the aphantasia spectrum I think he's on!

There is total aphantasia which is the most severe form of aphantasia, where you can not visualize anything or recall visual memories.

Then partial aphantasia where you can visualize pictures to some extent but with limited detail.

Object aphantasia is when you can imagine scenes and places, but have a difficult time with as the name implies, imagining objects.

Scene aphantasia, you have a difficult time visualizing scenes or places, but can see objects by themself.

Of course since it is a spectrum there is also spaces in between these check points, which is where I think Near lays! He's definitely on the more severe end with a faulty and uncontrollable "minds eye", I believe he can picture images but only with the support of toys and stuff that draws outlines for his imagination so he can focus on coloring in the lines.

As the "how to read death note manual" describes him he can only succeed whilst surrounded by support.

So the support in this scenario would be him needing objects to fill in the blanks of his imagination!

My first inklings to him having aphantasia were that we see Light Yagami, L, and correct me if I'm wrong but possibly a few other people picture things inside their heads, such as Light with his drawer set up and L with his plan to infiltrate the Yotsuba group head office, but we never see Near creating images in his mind.

When we see him with his custom finger puppets(?) the Kira one needs Kira to be written on it. Also writing second L, Kira, Light yagami or Mikami, X-kira, and such on the finger puppets could be a sign that he has a difficult time pretending the puppets are actual represantives of people so he views them as more like lists and plain words.

I really like discussing what could possibly be in Nears silly head and just discussing him in general! He's such a fascinating guy!!!!!!! This probably isn't the best rant but whatever I am still trying to improve my writing so please stick with me!

I hope you enjoyed my rant MWAH! （｡>‿‿<｡）

#near death note #nate river #death note #aphantasia #headcanons #headcanon #rant post

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yuseirra · 3 months ago

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Some rants/theories on onk~(ch 162~)

I've been jotting some thoughts as of lately!!

I want to share it with you all because well, I'm sure some of you will relate and feel with me and it's just nice to see someone share the same type of thoughts, wouldn't it!

It may be worth a read if you like hikaru or hikaai.. or what the heck's been going about him in the manga. I feel so bad in regards to him, what's happening to him is really unjust. I feel it's so mean and unfair and I'm sure the author knows, so I hope they expand on that :) They must love this character better than I and he must be like this for a reason. I believe in them.

Ruby… your dad and brother were fighting and fell into the water… What should we do about this… hahaha… hahaha…

But I think that scene itself was planned from way back.

It’s seriously annoying… hahaha. From what I can see, it’s like two victims of the entertainment industry wanting to kill each other, which is so frustrating and unfair.

If Kamiki just dies like this, it’s going to make me so mad because what was the point of his life? He’s never been happy. From my perspective, he wasn’t originally that kind of person, and it seems like he completely lost his mind after the person he loved died. But it’s unclear if we’re even supposed to feel sorry for him, which makes it even more frustrating. Why did they drag his life into the abyss like this? For what purpose?

Ai, at least, found love. But what about him?

If his original character was noble, then my view of his true nature was correct, right? So… I hope his story doesn’t just end with him like this. At this rate, I won’t even be able to fully support Aqua, and he won’t look good to me either, but I liked Aqua…

I hope Ruby can somehow save everyone. I’m not sure how that would even be possible, though.

I feel like I know where this manga is heading. I think I do. There is a way for all of this to make sense, but since it’s not my work, I can’t be certain. That’s why it’s so frustrating.

This is a manga that needs to be read by volumes.

In chapter 162, Aqua says something grand like how his goal wasn’t revenge.

It’s a beautiful story, but it also annoyed me a bit, like, of course, that can’t be true!!!

From the beginning, Ai wasn’t even killed by this guy!!! The whole target of his revenge was wrong from the start! The entire premise was never valid. For over 150 chapters, Aqua had been chasing the wrong target. At the very least, Kamiki never intended to harm Ai, and if you look at it from that angle, he’s also a victim who was broken after losing Ai. What are you talking about like you’re so righteous, Aqua? It’s really getting on my nerves. What matters is what he did next and how he lived after that. Just in case, I checked the English version, and it said that as he grew older (not Ai), he couldn’t stand how Ai’s existence was fading away, and he wanted to feel that again. After Ai died, he missed her so much that he found this bizarre way to hold onto her and clung to it.

When you connect that with the songs, it kind of explains the logic behind it, and I think it makes sense. He’s definitely a crazy guy who did a lot of wrong things, but there also seems to be something more that drove him mad.

If revenge was really his motive, then he’s been hunting down the wrong person the whole time. Ruby was targeted, so it seems like Aqua did something useful by accident in the end… hahaha. (but it'd have been stupid if Kamiki didn't even intend to kill his own daughter<what is this, seriously??) I feel like this new chapter is set in a way to direct us away from the idea that KAMIKI DID NOT HARM AI. THUS, AQUA'S REVENGE DOESN'T EVEN STAND IN THE FIRST PLACE. he just happened to target Ruby by chance and so the focus shifts to that but we should really take this to account when we come to analyzing his character, seriously Kamiki is ANOTHER broken person who lost his love because of the malice in the entertainment industry. We need to read that context!!! That's why this gets on my nerves, I can't cheer Aqua wholeheartedly like this!!

It’s nice that Ruby and Aqua share such a deep bond, sure, but what about Ai’s wish? The two of them are doing their own thing, but what about Ai? (Of course, I expected Aqua to do that because he’s that kind of character. I saw it coming, didn’t I? I practically nailed it in my analysis before the chapter even came out, predicting that Aqua’s focus had shifted to Ruby.) I ended up liking the movie arc of this manga the most… so watching Aqua act that way kind of irritated me. What’s with that enlightened expression like everything’s over? Didn’t you say you’d grant Ai’s wish, you dumbo… Well, I do wonder how anyone can save someone so far gone, but did he really figure out who Kamiki truly was before deciding to kill him? Ai really wished for him to be saved. Why can't he understand his father? Why can't anyone understand how hurt this guy is except for Ai? There is not a single person who can understand his pain in the manga. This frustrates me, and I understand why he's so desperate about Ai because why wouldn't he become like that. He's become tainted and terrible, I get that, but he REALLY WASN'T LIKE THIS!! and if he's actually possessed like how I think he may be, then what's been happening isn't even entirely his will!!

There was talk about Kamiki having done nothing, but was that really a lie? I’m really confused. If he tried to kill Ruby, then maybe it really is over, but… who even is this guy?? What AM I supposed to make of him? Why are there still so many contradicting info?? They really have to explain this to us!!!

That’s why I don’t think this is the end. There are still too many unresolved plot points.

And personally, I think there's a lot to blame that lies with whatever it was that caused Kamiki to become so “broken.” That needs to be addressed.

I don’t think it’s right to pin all the malice on one crazy person and then get rid of him like that solves everything. Kamiki wasn’t originally someone who would break down this badly.

It seems like this character received two songs… So, regardless of how things end, I hope they properly address who this character really is.

This is the first time I’ve encountered a character that’s so hard to understand. I’ve never felt like this before—there’s never been a character I couldn’t grasp to this extent. It’s not that I can’t understand their actions; it’s that I can’t figure out what kind of personality they even have. (it's said they had a noble soul, in that case, I DID SEE THROUGH HIS TRUE NATURE THOUGH. SO I'LL CLING ONTO THAT.)

This isn’t a character with a ton of screentime, but even within the few scenes they’ve appeared in, the content seems to contradict itself.

I keep saying this, but if it weren’t for the portrayals shown in the movie arc, I wouldn’t be this confused.

Why did they even mention fatherly love, and why did he say something about accepting death… His expressions are drawn in such a confusing way. They look so gentle and tender in some. In chapter 154, I really think he was being sincere—since the star had faded…

In long series, I can understand when a character’s personality changes a lot between the early and later parts, but this character hasn’t appeared much at all, and it hasn’t even been 10 chapters, yet their personality has completely shifted, and it’s impossible to reconcile their actions as coming from the same person.

Up until chapter 161, I’d managed to piece things together to make sense, but…

How do the events from chapters 152 to 162, this 10-chapter span, contradict each other so completely?

It’s hard to just say it’s all lies, because the portrayal wasn’t done in a way that supports that. Even when I try to selectively take what feels like the truth and dismiss the rest as lies, it’s still so confusing.

There are foundational elements, right? With just those pieces, you can sort of build a framework, but…

So, what’s the deal with this character? There’s no answer. We need solid information, but for some strange reason, the story just doesn’t provide it.

Honestly, I’m starting to think this character is possessed or something. Did they create it this way on purpose, like that’s the direction it’s heading? If that’s the case, then it makes sense for Ai to want to save him, doesn’t it?

This would also make Ai’s wish come true, since how can you save someone like that otherwise? I’ve mentioned before that it feels like this character is being controlled by something, or maybe a crack formed in his mind, and something took over that space. Even Aqua and Ruby’s personalities change for the worse when the black star appears. I’m starting to think that his desperate feelings for Ai were taken advantage of, and he got possessed and went mad.

His original personality couldn’t have been like this, right? That much's actually been provided as a plot point. I am right on this.

I’ve never analyzed a character this thoroughly, because I’ve never encountered one that made me go, “What’s going on with this guy?” to this extent. It’s… so overwhelming, good gosh.

I really put a lot of effort into this! I really think I’m good at this kind of analysis. But with this character, it just doesn’t make sense.

I would accept it if a proper explanation came out, but this character fluctuates so much within such a small amount of screentime, and the behavior is so drastically different that it’s just too weird. If this was intentional, then we’re talking about the realm of split personalities or possession. Is that not a possibility?

No, seriously. He was supposed to be noble, wasn’t he? I think he’s truly the noble god Sarutahiko at his core, but something like the black star killed his wife and is trying to completely destroy or ruin him. Why else would there be all these themes about gods who love in the face of absurdity and irrationality? Hahaha. Unless there’s something that totally broke him down like this, he wouldn’t have changed so drastically! Ai loved him, didn’t she? I paid close attention, and he seemed like someone worthy of that love! So why did he end up like this? Will there ever be an explanation?

Is Ai really not a god? Wow, seriously… No, this manga has something going on. Something to do with gods.

Isn’t she really the reincarnation of Ame-no-Uzume? I mean, wouldn’t the song lyrics make sense because of that?

Doesn’t she want to save her fallen husband, who’s been completely broken, no matter what? Seriously? He’s that messed up? He’s too far gone after losing his wife… and it’s understandable he’d go crazy like this. How should I even take this manga? If it’s not this, then I just won’t be able to understand the plot. To be honest, there are way too many weird hints about gods scattered throughout. If they’ve dropped all these clues, they need to tie it together somehow, or at least address it. Why else include these ideas?

I’m really thorough when it comes to character analysis, especially when I’m trying to draw fan art.

But Kamiki? He’s just too inconsistent. Seriously, hasn’t he been possessed by some evil spirit or something? Isn’t it weird? I want to accept it, but how are the portrayals from chapters that aren’t even far apart from each other so different? It’s not even about poor writing at this point—it feels like they’ve deliberately written him as two completely different characters. Did they do this on purpose?

My head really hurts. If he were just a crazy guy, I could have accepted that, honestly. But why give us information that says otherwise, and then turn him back into a madman? Why does Ai want him to be saved?

Then it’s really like something’s possessed him. This isn’t his true nature, so he needs to be exorcised.

Yes, “Fatal” is Kamiki’s song.

Why do you think he longs to see Ai so much? Why would he say he’s fine with sacrificing anything for her?

It’s because no one, aside from Ai, ever truly looked at him properly. Of course he wouldn’t want to live like that. Aqua isn’t at that level… But Kamiki, he would give up anything just to see Ai again. I feel like he thinks Ai needs to come and take him away.

Ai gave Kamiki love and understood him. He thought they were alike. But everyone else either took advantage of him or failed to understand him. Why is that? Since childhood, it seems like no one who approached this character ever tried to understand him. That’s why I think he ended up clinging to Ai… And when you think about that, it’s hard to see how he could have grown up with this kind of personality… Given that environment, he actually turned out well. Even if he’s twisted, he didn’t end up as twisted as you’d expect. He really could have been a saint if things weren't this messed up. He never got to be happy, which is what really upsets me when I see him. You see him going in 162 saying the only times he felt alive was when he had Ai with him, WELL DUH!!! Because the other parts of his life was so miserable!! He has no one!! How CAN someone not grow insane after losing that single person who became his reason for living?? Seeing him makes me feel terrible... the fact that he used to be so kind makes me feel sad. He wouldn't have became what he is if it weren't for these twisted turn of events!! And what were the odds of those things happening to him, I don't think the events leading up to Ai's death was his doing, he's CLEARLY been taken over by the loss after that and that's the reason why he's shifted. There's no way he ever wanted to harm his only love.

Without you, I cannot live anymore I would sacrifice anything for you I can’t get enough of your love What should I use to fill in what’s missing?

This song is really Kamiki’s song, isn’t it?

But, could this person have come up with those strange thoughts, that odd way of thinking, all on his own?

It’s not a natural thought process at all, is it?

What if something urged him to believe that by doing so, he could get closer to Ai?

Do people usually come to those kinds of conclusions? I feel like I wouldn’t think that way.

So, if—just if—this person can somehow be saved, like Ai wanted, then maybe there’s a separate mastermind behind why he came to think that way. Is he really the type of person who could naturally fall apart to this degree? We haven’t seen any clear explanation for why he ended up like this. And one of the song’s title is “Mephisto.” Then maybe Kamiki is like Faust, and there’s a separate entity he made a deal with? Like that black star god? Though it might not be.

Remember that post where I speculated about stars possessing people? I still think stars are definitely influencing people.

there's another theory post I wrote about that, too.

You know how the logo for this series has star eyes in it??

STAR EYES ARE IMPORTANT. I BELIEVE STARS=GODS=DWELL IN EYES OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS,

THERE'S A LYRIC IN FATAL THAT ACTUALLY INDICATES THAT.

キラキラお星様宿したあなたのeyes/ Your eyes with glittering stars in them.

So it makes sense that Kamiki's been under the influence.. of this "black star" for at least two decades....that'd be enough to really destroy and taint his soul. I also mentioned that the black star may do that do a person. I REALLY think this can be it.

Switching gears, I got volume 14 today…

As I looked through it, I kept wondering—why and how did this sweet, innocent boy end up like this? It’s such a mystery.

There’s so much about him we don’t know. We don’t even know exactly when he started falling apart, but Ai seemed to be happy being with him. And this guy liked Ai so much that it seemed like he could live just by having her around.

He really looked happy. If you look at his memories with Ai, he looks so genuinely joyful… He must have really loved her.

That’s probably why he broke down. In those memories, Ai was always smiling too, so I think they must have been very happy together. I'm sure. She REALLY loved him. He was a good person.

#long post #hikaai #oshi no theories #oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #ai hoshino #hikaru kamiki #I'm a bit frustrated at aqua.. I want to slap his back #but I don't hate him #it's just.. I think he's so unfair to his dad.. he SHOULD know about him.. he played as him in the movie..#aqua hoshino #spoilers #this comic.. really makes me talk lol #wow.. it's probably nudging something about in me

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recurring-polynya · 8 months ago

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Idk if you’ve answered this question (sorry if you have) before, but how do you think Renji & Rukia first met ? What do you think their life was like originally before Soul Society ?

Pardon me if I'm reading this wrong, but...Rukia and Renji's first meeting is enshrined pretty thoroughly in canon? She rescued him from a water heist that was about to turn disastrous.

This is from Chapter 98/Episode 32: A Star and a Stray Dog, which is the first place you should be looking if you're interested in pre-canon Renruki lore.

As to the second part of your question...you mean before they died? What sort of lives did they have in the World of the Living?

I'm gonna pontificate, so I'll throw that under a cut

First off, I am fascinated with the fact that Kubo gives us nothing about what anyone's living life was like. On one hand, I would like to know everyone's pre-history, but on the other, I'm glad he didn't, like as a literary choice. The slate is supposed to be wiped clean. It doesn't matter. It's maddening, but also correct.

It's also one of those places that is just ✨fanfic free real estate✨ in terms of I think everyone should make up their own version for their blorbos, so of course I have them for Renji and Rukia. I have absolutely nothing to support these, they are just what I felt in my heart.

I have actually talked about Renji's beforedeath quite a bit, here and there in various fanfics, usual under the conceit that, particularly in their Inuzuri days, he would sometimes blurt out some half-remembered thing and then promptly forget it again. Here an excerpt from Chapter 3 of go places:

It’s an Alive Memory, Rukia is nearly certain. Most souls get them. All the boys did, from time to time. To Renji, it’s just brain dust. Whatever it is in Soul Society that makes people forget their lives also makes this memory detritus slippery to hold onto. Renji won’t think of this later, or attach any importance to this conversation. The funny thing is, after ten years of watching him stumble through these moments, Rukia probably has a better idea of what Renji’s life was like than he does. He lived on a farm of some sort. A small one, or at least his family grew a lot of their own food. He died of a fever. Nearly all of his Alive Memories involve his mother. Rukia is almost positive that Renji’s mother is the one who taught him to write. The sewing scissors were likely hers. In Rukia’s imagination, Renji’s mother is very tall and beautiful and kind. Rukia doesn’t need to use her imagination to know that Renji loved his mother very much.

Just to offer a little more detail--doing the math out, where Bleach starts in the early 00s, Rukia and Renji have been separated for 40 years and knew each other for 10 years before that, it would make a lot of sense for both of them to have died in WWII. However, I like to think that time is very wobbly, especially in the outer Rukon, so I like to make their deaths a little earlier-- specifically, I think that Renji died in the 1918 flu pandemic, which may have contributed to getting a plague spirit for a zanpakutou. That being said, my general vibe for his childhood is based on Kanta, the neighbor kid from My Neighbor Totoro, which takes place in the 50s. In any case, he had a pretty small and unremarkable life in rural Japan, aside from the fact that he was loved very much, which will never be unremarkable, no matter how common it may be.

I have written less about Rukia's beforedeath, mostly because she was too young when she died to have any phantom memories. [Note: I know there are some theories out there, based on some arcane clues that Kubo has dropped that Rukia may not actually be a normal soul and may be related to Hell. That's...fine. While I'm never going to say no to a storyline that centers Rukia, I really do hope that it comes to naught. Ichigo has enough Crazy Origin going on and I like the Rukia's backstory the way it is, so I'm just going to ignore all of that for the sake of this post]. Ahem! So, infant death is not anything surprising, or even really interesting, but what makes Rukia's kind of compelling is the fact that her much-older sister died at the same time. To me, this indicates either a natural disaster or a death-by-violence.

As I said above, there are infinity ways you can go with this, but to me, there were two important things I wanted to capture 1) given Renji's descriptions of Rukia having an inherent grace and nobility, and the idea that something about Hisana caught Byakuya's eye, I thought that maybe they should have been noble, and 2) I wanted them to live by the sea. I do not actually remember how I landed on this, but in the 1850s, a bunch of sea fortresses were constructed to protect Japan by attack from sea (see here for more detail). This was the tail end of the Edo period and I liked the idea that maybe Rukia came from an old samurai family, and her father was sent to oversee one of these coastal forts. Did they die in a bombardment? A bad storm? The Kanto earthquake? I never got that far. I'm not even sure if this is a realistic scenario, if they had civilians living there, etc, this was just a half-thought-out thing I came up with for a bonus chapter of a fanfic that someone requested once. The one other detail from that that I came up with and stand by is that I think there were more siblings in their family between Hisana and Rukia. I also like that this idea that makes Rukia somewhat older than Renji, even though the math is impossible and the points are made up anyway.

#rukia kuchiki #renji abarai #beforedeath is a great companion word to afterlife which i just made up for this post but i hope it catches on

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forgeofthenine · 1 year ago

Note

I also wish to simp over the tieflings😁

So I have a question for you. In your opinion, which would be the fittest class for being each tieflings batchelor partner?

My best friend and I were playing bg3 yesterday (both sipping for Dammon so the conversation was more focused on him) and the question came out.

My bf defended that for our fav blacksmith a paladin would be the best option for going on a date. Cause they're usually loyal to their beliefs, tend to have a kind nature and they're always in need of good armor and weapons. It was paladin for her.

But I differ. I firmly believe that a nice ✨Bard✨ would be the correct answer. And here's why:

1. Dammon is a kind, polite and (probably) organised soul. Most bards have chaotic energy. I believe that a bard partner would be a nice influence on him and vice-versa. He calming his partner when they get too overexcited and them trying to get him out of his comfort zone.

2. They're both artists in a way. I think that a bard would admire and see the beauty in Dammon's job. Maybe even getting curious about it, ask him questions and see him work. He would be so happy. And also Dammon would admire and enjoy the Bard's music, singing, drawing, etc. (whatever bardic gift you got people, it doesn't matter to him. He'll love it)

3. We all know Dammon reads smut and I sincerely cannot picture a more smut reading class than a bard. Like I can perfectly see the scene of the bard discovering "A pleasurable deal" (I think that's the name of it, if not I apologise) and being totally chill about it, read a few pages with all the calm in the world and Dammon finding them out, grabbing the book terribly ashamed of it... Just to see them mock him a little bit to finally say "Hey and if when you finished with it you need any recommendations I have a few that might interest you". (Insert all the fantasy young adult with spice novels here)

And finally but not last:

4. (And this is a more personal one) I have the personal belief that if you play a bard you are personifying the need of a traumatised being who always tries to feel better through music and a charismatic behaviour while being in need of a found family even if you're in denial. I might be wrong, it might be me who plays bards this way but it's just a single theory I have.

But guess what, we're having a Bard here. And what better option to have a family with than Dammon.

I REST MY CASE! THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.

🤣🤣🤣But really, I would like to hear your opinion on this debate. If you had to choose what would it be and why?

(All classes are equally nice and fitting, no hate here to any of them👌🏻)

I know that this got long ah so thanks for reading it. I love your blog and I hope that everything goes perfectly well on your day-to-day. Byeee!!💛💛💛💛

🎻- Anon

This is actually a very fun question because I've never actually thought about matching people based on classes.

I agree with both of you that either a paladin or a bard would definitely work well with Dammon thematically. However, I raise the option of him being with an artificer. While I love opposites attract tropes, Dammon is a fiercely proud and passionate man, his dedication to his work is enough to scare off almost anyone. So, who would work best with such a wonderful but independent man? Someone who understands his thinking on a fundamental level. An artificer that knows what it is to be an artisan, to dedicate yourself to 'making', to spend late nights working on various blueprints. I just feel like he'd work well with someone that understands him and doesn't fault his dedication to his work.

For Zevlor, I'm a big supporter of the Zevlor x cleric idea. I feel like as a paladin, having him with a cleric just works so well thematically. He's a paladin who believes himself to be disgraced and what's better to help 'bring him back to the light' and support him other than someone else that understands his relationship with his patron god and his intense need to protect everyone. It's easier to accept help from someone that you feel understands your issues, and I feel like being with a cleric just really suits Zevlor.

Rolan with a sorcerer. That's it. Imagine the sass, the cat fights, the endless bickering before they even realise they're attracted to each other. Rolan definitely does the whole 'sorcerors just can't control their magic and tried to make it a thing', specially with a wild magic user. It never quite ends either, even after years of seeing each other Cal and Lia still walk in on their little sarcasm spats. I don't feel like there's a deeper reason to this, other than the fact I feel like Rolan had very little guidance in learning magic (much like a sorcerer might) and is doing a bit of light projection to start with.

So here's my humble opinions, I'd love to hear everyone else's and I hope everyone is having a lovely day <3

#its finally the weekend and i have THE FLU-#IT IS SUMMER???#bri rambles #bri answers #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 dammon #bg3 zevlor #bg3 rolan

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muiromem · 10 months ago

Text

Just... repeatedly rotating An Idea around in my head

(and yes it's still Tom/Harry/B'Elanna OT3 because I'm obsessed with them, but I also love Janeway's and Tom's weird friendship)

Basically, something Big and Insane and Sci-Fi happens, and somehow all of the known universe in time/space is just sort of.... gone. Or dying, or being destroyed. Stars are going out, everything is vanishing out of existence. Planets, galaxies, creatures and anomalies and time/space itself - all completely gone.

Of course, Voyager is in the eye of the storm (so to speak) of this catastrophe that happened around them, and therefore one of the few things that remains for now (much like Kirk and the crew still existed after McCoy accidentally changed the timeline in "The City on the Edge of Forever"). Obviously, they're trying to stop it - to fix whatever this catastrophe was that could unmake all of existence.

With the wonders of Science-Fiction, there is a theoretical way to fix things; a jump-start essentially, to reset everything to what it was before this catastrophe and repair the wound it created. But even with this theoretical plan, there's something missing: a blueprint, of sorts. If they set off this insane spatial-temporal reaction, everything would be reset, but there's no telling what state the universe would actually be in after it was done. It would be like setting off a Genesis device on a war-destroyed Earth and hoping it would magically return everything and everyone to how they once were. There was nothing to guide this theoretical process of rebirth - and literally everything was at stake.

Even the great minds of Tuvok, Seven, B'Elanna and everyone else are at a loss for what to do. Unless they had someone like Q, omnipotent as he was, how could they feed something into this reaction of theirs to tell it what to do? How could they ever have enough information to rebuild all of existence from scratch?

It's Tom, of all people, who comes up with the answer: let him go.

At first everyone just sort of looks at him like he's insane because, what? What could he possibly be talking about? But even though he can't really remember, Tom still has a theory: the Warp 10 flight.

For a brief time, he was literally everywhere in time and space, all at once. Existing throughout all of existence simultaneously. Could his body, his unconscious mind, have somehow remembered that time? Could it have imprinted something onto him? Perhaps his very cells? He figures if there was a chance, even a small one, that his theory was correct - they had to take it. Because if he was right, then technically he was a living, breathing blue-print of all the known and unknown universe... and their only chance at saving everything.

That's when the riot starts, a great uproar of arguments. Facts and theoretical probabilities from Seven and Tuvok, horror and concern from Harry, even more from B'Elanna and the Doctor. They're startled, angry, because even if that were true the process would almost certainly kill him. And then there's Janeway, putting a stop to all the noise with a hand and saying that if there was a chance this theory would work, if the Doctor or someone could find even a speck of evidence to support it, then she would do it. Because even if everyone else forgot, she'd passed the transwarp threshold too.

Tom tries to argue, Chakotay and the Doctor too, but Janeway insists. She sends Tom to be looked over by everyone for proof of his concept, but says that if the time comes, she'll be the one to do it. As Captain, it's her job to keep everyone safe, no matter what. No one can argue, but no one is happy. Even this one chance at survival feels like it will come at too great a cost.

Time passes, with everyone rushing to do what they can before Voyager is also consumed by the nothingness. But eventually the verdict comes - Tom's idea has merit. His very atoms are somehow encoded with cross-temporal chronotrons and other signs that the theory may work. Once he knows what to look for, the Doctor scans Janeway and sees that she has these markers too, though hers are... fainter, for lack of a better term. She theorizes that it's because she only went through the Warp 10 process once, while Tom did it twice. The Doctor admits that there is a possibility Tom's the better candidate for this mission, only because he has a stronger "imprint" so to speak. Janeway still insists, refusing to send one of her officers to die in her place.

When everyone finally gets this complex and theoretical "reset" device figured out and constructed in one of the cargo bays, Tom begs to come with Janeway. He says that after everything she's done for him, he wants to see her off one last time. She relents, and once B'Elanna has started the reaction up from the safety of Engineering, shining beyond the doors like an imploding star, the two make their way there.

The entire deck has been cordoned off to keep chroniton and other radiations from killing the crew before they can set this whole thing in motion. It's just the two of them there. Tom takes a moment - as the doors open and they're both hit with a wave of heat, energy, and the unknown - and he thanks Janeway properly. For giving him a second chance, for believing in him, and for everything that followed after; like meeting Harry and B'Elanna, and finding a home aboard Voyager. Then he says "get them home" and before Janeway can realize what's happening, briefly thrown by his intense sincerity, he's shoving her aside - hitting the mechanism to shut the cargo bay doors. Inside, Tom grabs some tool and smashes the console so the door won't open without a manual override. That would probably buy him enough time.

Inside the cargo bay, it's like being trapped with the birth of a star; plasma, light, and colors all swirling in strings and shapes and a great sphere of something. There's no special switch for Tom to flip, no complicated sequence he has to follow. The best Voyager's brightest minds could figure out was for him to simply... walk into the singularity and hope for the best. He thinks of his family on Voyager, he thinks of his father and so many things unsaid, he thinks of B'Elanna and Harry and hopes that they'll still take care of each other when he's gone. And to keep them safe, to preserve everything that ever was or ever would be.... he walks into the fires of rebirth.

Outside the cargo bay, Janeway is screaming - trying to get in, to override the doors. She gets them open, only in time to see a tall silhouette disappearing - almost disassembled before her eyes, like dust being scattered away on the wind. Then there's just light - so bright it feels like it somehow pierces through her skin and bones and the very atoms of her being. Then.......

She wakes up. There's no telling how long it's been; all Janeway knows is that she's on the cargo bay floor, ears still faintly ringing, and Chakotay is gently helping her sit up. All around her it's... quiet. The cargo bay looks untouched - no crumpled bulkheads, no scorch marks, nothing. Even the vast, cobbled together machinery for the reset is simple gone. Once her head finally clears, Chakotay asks if she's alright, if her plan worked - but Harry's comm. from the bridge interrupts the question. Excitedly, Harry announces with great relief that the nothingness, the catastrophe, seems to be gone. His scans, Voyager's databanks - everything seems to be showing up normal. As far as they can tell, the universe was back to how it should be.

Back, except for one thing: Tom Paris.

As far as Janeway can see, Tom isn't in the cargo bay. She asks the computer to locate him; the reply is that Lieutenant Paris is no longer aboard. This is announced just as B'Elanna is running in through the cargo bay door, no doubt to see the result of all her hard work. She comes to a halt, looking at Janeway - staring because she wasn't supposed to be here, she was supposed to... After only a fraction of a moment, the computer's announcement finally registers and suddenly B'Elanna is running at Janeway with fists flying, screaming about how could she let him do this? Where is he, dammit, where the hell is Tom?!

She gets a few good hits to Janeway's chest and shoulders before Chakotay holds her back, and Janeway just lets her do it. Because this is her fault - she should have known Tom would try to pull that stunt with the doors, should never have let him come to see her off. She barely registers that B'Elanna's fury soon devolves into angry, choked back tears which Chakotay tries to soothe. When Harry arrives soon after and sees her expression, probably sees Janeway's too, it's all too easy for him to put two and two together. He and B'Elanna end up clinging to each other in their grief. Though Chakotay comes to Janeway to try and comfort her too, to reassure her that she's not responsible, all she can do is look at the cargo bay and see the silhouette where Tom last was - lost now to the ether of the universe.

The next few days are... hard. Harry might as well have aged a decade, and instead of the righteous fury that Janeway had expected, B'Elanna's just gone quiet. When Janeway stops by Sickbay, even the Doctor has become subdued, staring wistfully into the distance at nothing when he'd normally be working on some experiment or other. She still asks him, and Seven, and anyone who might be of use, if there was anything that could be done. But as far as anyone can tell, Tom Paris is gone - he'd sacrificed himself to save everyone else.

But Janeway feels like something is still wrong, like Tom's ghost is... haunting her somehow. It's a figure of speech when she admits it to a concerned Chakotay, but one night, she startles awake from a dreamless sleep, and there he is - standing in her quarters. Tom looks confused, exhausted, and he's... well she can see right through him. He looks at her, seemingly just as startled as she is, and she swears she hears him whisper "Captain?" But then suddenly he's convulsing, curling in on himself with a cry of pain and Janeway is horrified as she watches him.... unmade. It's like he's nowhere and everywhere, born and dying, unraveled but stitched together all at the same time until he's once again vanished into nothingness.

Janeway's heart is racing and she doesn't understand what she just witnessed. A dream? Hallucination? Some alien interference? She goes to the Doctor at 0400 and demands he scan her for a virus, temporal misalignment, anything. She's terrified that this was nothing more than the aftermath of radiation from being so near their "universal reset" as it went off. But there's also a tiny sliver of the smallest, most fragile hope, that this is something else - that there's a chance Tom isn't really gone.

The Doctor does find something, a strange resonance of sorts, connected - or perhaps coming from - Janeway. He theorizes that it's an effect of being so close to the singularity during the reset. As far as he can tell, she's not suffering from radiation damage, but believes that her guilt over Tom must have caused the hallucination. He offers to devise a treatment, and Janeway begrudgingly agrees. For him to say that what she'd seen was a hallucination though... it felt wrong somehow.

For the next few days, she hardly sleeps, too busy pouring over anything she can find - old Federation logs, complex theories, and all the research and schematics for the device they'd created. All in the slim hope to understand what had actually happened to Tom. Was he simply dead? He couldn't have been wiped from existence or surely, no one would have even known he'd existed. But had he been scattered throughout existence itself, a fundamental building block of the universe now? Seven helps her eventually, though it takes a good deal of persuasion. Chakotay and even Tuvok (though he'd never admit it) become increasingly concerned that she's grasping at straws, just trying to absolve herself of the guilt she feels because Tom took her place - but she knows it's more than that.

And eventually, she's proven right. The so-called hallucination happens again - but this time she's not the only one there. Seven and the Doctor were working with her on some experimental simulations on the holodeck when there's suddenly a terrible noise; something between electro-static and the wails of a dying creature. The holo-grid starts sparking, a console blowing out completely, until suddenly they all watch Tom Paris form out of nothingness before them. Whatever process was involved in his... reassembly, is obviously painful. Just watching the strange tangle of unidentifiable mass contort itself until it could become Tom was sickening. And when he finally takes form, still only semi-opaque, he collapses to his knees, shaking.

Janeway runs to him immediately, unsure what to do but calling his name. Here's there, he's there - it wasn't just in her head. The Doctor and Seven follow shortly, taking tricorder scans in shocked fascination. They ask questions, trying to understand what happened, but Tom doesn't know any more than they do. He says it's like he's everywhere but nowhere - and yet something keeps pulling him back into reality, back onto Voyager. He thought he would die, had come to terms with it, and yet he's still coming back. Even if he'd been completely tangible he looks awful, like he's dying every minute he's there. Janeway tries to reassure him that they'll find him, that they won't just give up, and that manages to make Tom smile. He says he knows she wouldn't give up on him - but as he starts to shift out of phase again, face clenched with pain, he asks her to promise him something. Janeway doesn't want to, knows she won't like what he has to say, but she nods anyways. "If you have to - let me go," is what he pleads. "Don't risk Voyager or anyone else for me. Just promise me that."

Janeway can't even form a reply, doesn't know how to let go, how to admit defeat. She's never given up on a crewman before, how could she possibly now? Out of habit she reaches out to touch Tom's shoulder - and even as he's fritzing, starting to disintegrate before her very eyes, she is surprised to make contact. The sounds of tricorders going haywire are behind her, but all Janeway can focus on is the fact that despite Tom literally unraveling in her hands, for a moment, just one moment, she could feel him. Then he's gone.

Everything is different this time - there was proof now, witnesses. B'Elanna and Harry are no longer withdrawn, instead racing full-steam ahead to do anything they can to help. They ask her about Tom of course, about how he's looking, and whether or not she thinks that they can save him. Janeway doesn't know what to say, how to tell them that Tom's clearly in pain and that she has no idea what even happened, let alone how to fix it....

Unfortunately, she doesn't have to. During some experimentation, Tom reappears again - much more violently this time, just when Harry and B'Elanna are present. The very air around them seems to crackle with energy, the temperature changing from too hot, then too cold, and back again. The atmospheric readings are going haywire and when Tom reappears, somehow less corporeal than before, he crumples to the ground in a heap. Harry is openly crying as they run to him, begging him to open his eyes - but when he and B'Elanna try to touch Tom, somehow their hands go right through.

Janeway is completely flummoxed. She'd touched Tom before, she knows she did. But it seemed he was becoming less and less stable each time he returned to a corporeal form - perhaps that explained the change? As the Doctor and Seven are once again running complex scans, Janeway goes to Tom's side and slowly reaches out a hand. As it lands on his shoulder, as Tom tries to sit up, she does make contact. The tricorders instantly go haywire, and Harry and B'Elanna wonder in despair - Why now? Why her? Why can't they touch him? But all Janeway can think is that this is progress. It must mean something, especially since Tom seems to regain consciousness as she maintains contact, becoming a bit less transparent - a bit more real. When Tom sees Harry and B'Elanna this time, his eyes begin to water too - and Janeway wonders how tears could form in whatever state of flux Tom has become entwined with. But when she removes her hand to give them some space, to ask Tom if he's alright, he starts to fade once more.

This time Tom tries to reach out, to touch Harry and B'Elanna - but is just as unable to make real contact. Instead he tells them he loves them, begs them to take care of each other, to let him go - and it's painful to watch as he's once again gripped by whatever agony has been tearing him into reality and back. Hoping it might do something, Janeway grabs Tom's hand and this time she makes a promise she's going to keep: to bring him home dammit, no matter how long it takes. Just her hold on him seems to stabilize him a bit, taking the floating sands of his dissolving form and pulling them together for just a moment longer... but then the temperature goes haywire, energy crackles around them and Tom is gone once more. With him goes every sound as even the beeping of tricorder scans finally cease. In the silence, Janeway can barely seem to breathe and knows that Harry and B'Elanna must feel infinitely worse. Even more terrifying, each time Tom appears, he seems to be getting weaker, losing whatever cohesion he's managed to retain. She has no real basis to understand anything that's been happening, but Janeway has the sinking feeling that if they don't do something soon, Tom will be lost to them for good.

But then the Doctor clears his throat and holds up his tricorder, and suddenly hope floods back. "I believe I know what's happening to Mister Paris," he says, with not an ounce of boastfulness for once. Instead, the Doctor is as grim-faced as the rest of them, but holographic eyes no longer seem so empty. "And I think there's a chance we can fix it."

The process is... complex. Even for a mind as scientifically adept as Janeway's. The only important part is that Janeway wasn't just imagining that there was something connecting her to Tom. In reality, it was the other way around. Tom wasn't just being pulled back to Voyager - he was specifically being pulled back to her. It was all down to the the second transwarp flight, which they'd taken together. Crossing the barrier had created a sort of tether between them - a connection point across the vastness of reality. When Tom had entered the singularity to "reset" all of existence, in a manner of speaking his very existence was used to rebuild what had been lost. The price for this was Tom himself - every atom and molecule destroyed like the fuel necessary to keep a fire burning. But Tom and Janeway had gone to Warp 10 once together - existing everywhere in time and space at the same time. Because of that, a part of Tom still existed in Janeway, safe from the "reset" aboard Voyager within the eye of the storm. Janeway had unknowingly become a sort of temporal anchor, pulling Tom back into existence where he belonged.

At the moment though, he was trapped - pulled between reality and the strange purgatory of nonexistence. But with the magic of incredibly complex Science-Fiction and Technobabble, the crew essentially find a way to use Janeway's own Warp 10 resonance as both a magnet and a waypoint - to pull Tom back, and then reintegrate him into their time and space with the help of B'Elanna's ingenuity and a lot of Borg-enhanced technology. Harry describes is as being "like a temporal transporter" and that's already enough to give Janeway a headache, so she doesn't try to ask for details. The main idea boils down to grabbing onto what's left of Tom's "pattern" of existence, which has been imprinted onto Janeway, and using their newly constructed technology to "rematerialize" him back into reality.

Once they've found the method and jurry-rigged some machinery, the Doctor is standing by, both for Tom and for Janeway should anything happen. The others are farther off, manning the various machines while Chakotay and Tuvok have evacuated various decks in case of any explosions. The risks are immense, and this time Janeway had actually assembled the crew - asking them if they thought it was worth it. They'd potentially be putting the ship and everyone onboard it in danger, in a last-ditch attempt to bring one lost crewman home. It had warmed her heart when not a single person balked at the danger; Tom Paris saved them, their homes, their families and futures. Why shouldn't they try to save him too?

When the process happens, Janeway feels a sense of déjà vu; the light, the swirling mass of indecipherable colors and shapes and feelings, all cascading before her. This time she's strapped up with various bits of technology, hoping against hope to become the lighthouse that guide's Tom's way. In the very same cargo bay, bulkheads rattle and crumple this time, machines start screaming their warnings, and Janeway can feel the heat and pain and dizziness as radiation tries to eat away at her. But she can't stop yet, she won't stop. Even as the Doctor is yelling that the radiation levels are reaching critical, even as she hears Harry calling out that there's a new singularity opening and it's becoming completely unstable, Janeway sees it - a silhouette. It's only just forming, scattering in and out like a dance of lightning and sand, but it's there.

This time she won't be thrown through a cargo bay door and left to rebuild in the aftermath. This time she listens to her gut, and runs forward. She'd been the only one able to hold onto to Tom before because of whatever this bio-temporal tether was that had connected them - she sure as hell wasn't going to let him go now.

So she runs and sees an outstretched hand, breaking and reforming and scattering like light through a prism, everywhere and nowhere all at once. She ignores the pain and the feeling like she herself might be consumed by the fires of the unknown.

Kathryn Janeway takes a leap of faith, she grabs that outstretched hand, and for the sake of every person on her ship, she pulls.

Watching from afar, all the others see is a gigantic explosion of light and colors and sound. The cargo bay had been nearly cleared out before this process, but every piece of newly-made machinery has been completely destroyed. Bits and pieces scatter the floor, bulkheads have been wrenched open, sparks are flying, and Harry and B'Elanna find their ears ringing as they choke on smoke. They'd erected a level 10 forcefield for protection before starting the procedure, but in the aftermath it's been completely torn away. Even as the environmental controls kick in and start clearing out the haze, they look up from where they'd been thrown to see a massive scorch mark, spread out like a starburst across the cargo bay deck.

At it's center, they see.... something. Dizzy, confused, and still trying to see through ash and debris, initially they can't make it out. Even the Doctor is nowhere to be found, his emitter lying on the floor. It's fritzing but, after a brief inspection, seems repairable. Whatever happened must have shorted out many different systems, as Harry's attempt to use his combadge goes unanswered. He and B'Elanna make their way instead towards the center of the scorched cargo bay floor and behold... Captain Janeway.

She's covered in ash, with burns on her skin and uniform, and as they watch she kneels to the floor. There's something in her hands and after a moment it becomes clear; she's draping an emergency blanket over a long, familiar form. One with a head of messy, tawny blonde hair.

Harry and B'Elanna are running then, falling to their knees as they reach Janeway's side and behold Tom Paris - naked save for the blanket Janeway has brought to preserve his modesty. He's overly pale and clearly unconscious, but he's there, he's alive.

Harry cradles Tom to his chest, rocking him gently and bawling like a baby. B'Elanna runs her hand over Tom's hair, his face, his bare shoulders - anything she can seem to reach. They don't even know if he's fine really, but at least he's breathing. They didn't blow up the ship and they didn't have to lose him. Janeway looks exhausted and it's obvious her burns are painful, but she just stares at her three crewman, clutching onto each other with such love, and she smiles.

It feels like she sits there for an eternity, just watching them, basking in their reunion and the knowledge that they did it. In reality, it must only be a few minutes before the cargo bay doors are being forced open and Chakotay, Tuvok, and Neelix come through, bringing medical supplies and asking if everyone is alright.

By then, Harry is finally wiping his eyes and asking B'Elanna if she can get the Doctor back online because they're probably going to need him. For once, she looks reluctant to work, clearly wanting to stay there with him and Tom. In the end she agrees, but not before pressing a kiss to Harry's knuckles and Tom's forehead before taking the holo-emitter and leaving.

Afterwards it's all a long process of scanning, repairing, and treating everyone's wounds. Janeway tries to shoo Chakotay away once they bring her to sickbay, far too worried about Tom's condition, but he pulls out the big guns. Chakotay knows that she can't say no to Neelix when he gives her those big concerned eyes and tells her that "the crew needs their Captain to be taken care of too". So she ends up lying on a bio-bed for half an hour while the Talaxian carefully treats her burns and radiation poisoning as best he can. Unsurprisingly, B'Elanna gets the Doctor's program and holo-emitter working in record-breaking time, and they're all relieved when he checks over Tom and the prognosis is good; Tom's exhausted, dehydrated, and a bit worse for wear, but he'll be fully recovered in no time. Whatever madness they'd pulled off had worked.

Eventually, he wakes up, still very weak but every bit the Tom Paris they know and love. When he sees how distressed both Harry and B'Elanna are, he even jokes that they put an awful lot of effort in "just for him". B'Elanna looks like she wants to punch him for it, but instead throws her arms around him in a hug, and the three of them share a teary, heartfelt reunion. When the lovebirds have to split off so everyone can get some rest, and once the Doctor has given her a clean bill of health, Janeway goes over to Tom's biobed to see how he's doing.

He's obviously tired but he smiles up at her. However, the first thing she tells him is that she should court-martial him and throw him in the brig for the stunt he pulled in the cargo bay by taking her place. For a moment, Tom nearly believes her. But then Janeway smiles back and pats his hand with hers and says that he may be a reckless idiot, but she's proud to say he's one of her bravest officers. She also sincerely thanks him for what he did, to which Tom replies that she risked everything to get him back, so that probably makes them even. Janeway doesn't bother trying to make him promise never to do something that risky again, since she knows he'd only break the promise anyways if the circumstances required it. Instead, she says that if he's going to continue doing insane, reckless stunts for the good of her ship, then she'll just have to keep doing insane reckless things to keep his sorry ass alive. She receives the patented "yes ma'am" for her troubles, and Tom says that after all, he learned from the best.

The last thing she does before telling him to get some rest though, is tease him - threatening that, even if she understands why he did it, if he ever tries that switcheroo he pulled with her again, she'll have to tell the gossip mill about all the places she hadn't realized he has freckles.

Janeway can see by his slowly-dawning expression that Tom does recall something about emerging from the nothingness, naked on the cargo bay floor. The last thing she hears as she walks, grinning, away from Sickbay is a sputtered yell of "You wouldn't actually... Captain? CAPTAIN!" before the automatic doors swish shut.

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