#I really want to stay alive
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as much as I'm pro "oppressed people should arm themselves to keep themselves safe from the oppressors who are openly armed" I literally can't have a fucking gun due to mental issues and I would obviously really really really love it if that wasn't necessary
#guns /#i am sue of side all sometimes and I literally cannot and do not want access to a gun bc even the thought of it sends me down a spiral#I really want to stay alive#so it really sucks that it feels like 'should have a gun to protect myself and loved ones' vs 'should not have a gun to protect myself'#i hate hate hate hate it#suicide m /#wish guns just all ceased to exsist quite honestly theyre horrifying but thats not something I can do so. yknow#or at least downgrade everyone to muskets#you wanna kill me? better make it count. better kill me in one shot. If you miss you have to reload. asshole#giving me time to run up and kick the gun out of your hands
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Rage Form
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#sora#rage form#arendelle#formchange#my gif#rage form is so intriguing#sora still behaves in a wild animalistic fashion similar to his anti form but it's different#anti form felt as if he relinquished all self control and acted strictly on instinct just like a heartless#he used to run around hunched over on all fours and fight tooth and claw with reckless abandon#but here you can at least see SOME semblance of who he is. he's able to wield his keyblade while in this form which is pretty major#he still fights in an absolutely chaotic and primal manner but it feels evolved#the big difference is you call upon rage form at will. he channels his rage and darkness in a desperate last resort to stay alive#which is very significant but he still loses some control like the ability to use of magic; items; shotlocks; etc#it's cool to see darkness used in this way but i really want sora to able to explore themes of darkness within himself in future games#i want these to be more than cool forms with fun gameplay. i want them to have implications that something dark is brewing and needs to be-#brought to the surface and tackled head on because we've never seen anyone capable of cloaking themselves in darkness in such a way#take riku's dark form for example. he's in control and he's very much still himself. it's entirely different#on another note i'm now thinking about how hp is fully restored when activating rage form but you have the choice to give it up again-#when using risk charge. it'll increase attack damage but you're still walking a dangerous line in the pursuit of power
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forever obsessed w the fact that in bh lore vampires do actually die and stay dead for a short bit and then come back wrong. something that sadly never really gets elaborated on but that i find deeply fascinating bc it is implied that they remember the afterlife! which is such a cool and insane nugget of lore to give ur vampires like hello. also the implication that it scared the shit out of them, or at least out of mitchell..... can we talk about it!
mitchell eating his stupid fucking noodle box as hes waiting w the newly turned vamp to make sure he doesnt wake up alone and scared even though lauren mocks him for it!
mitchell making sure to remind george to NOT look at what's beyond the threshold when they are preparing to say goodbye to annie when her door shows up!
that little moment when annie decides to tell owen the secrets of the dead to drive him insane and george asks what that was all about and mitchell shakes his head so annie goes ahaha lol i was just improvising even though both her and mitchell know better!!!! thats their best friend who they will protect from the horrors of death as long as (in)humanly possible! they love you alive boy ♡
#me trying to make any post abt a single member of the og trio: ok btw did u notice that all 3 of them loved each other so so much#being human#being human uk#john mitchell#i wish the fact that mitchell remembered Death was used beyond s1 bc it is one of my favourite creative decisions wrt supernatural lore tbh#its not really super prominent and they do keep his fear of death in the later seasons but that specific angle was sooo delicious#especially if u take into account the whole Guilt sitiation george has got going on that hes the only 'alive' member of the household#and as such the only one w a chance to Do Something More w his life and get out of there (he cannot. and hes never getting away from them.)#and how hes torn between wanting A Life bc he still has a chance however flimsy and The House (but it was never going to be human was it?)#and how as much as both annie and mitchell want him to stay bc they belong together (and it is heavily implied that a wolf/vamp/ghost trio#is actually the only truly stable environment for all three categories which is what has kempp and co so freaked out)#they also want him to seize life bc even though they cant he still can and he Should!!! and thats such a great element of tension imo#that sadly gets lost in s4 &5 a bit bc toms relationship to the mortal world is entirely different since he was never a normie so to speak#but yeah. i would make a webweave abt this except i lost all of my fucking episodes Plus my poetry collection when my pc died so#u get this 3 am ramble and if uve read this far u will also get the reminder to fucking make backups of ur stuff!!! do it for me pls!!!#the wise one learns from his mistakes but the genius learns from others mistakes or wtv ...... please learn from my mistakes lol#cavetext
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Reminder: even if trump wins, we’ll be ok. The presidency isnt the only political position that matters, he wont be a dictator, the president doesnt have the power to remove every other part of government that keeps the president’s power in check. Also politics isnt the only thing that matters. Even if we lose some rights (which he cant singlehandedly do) we still have community, we still have activism, we’ll always be ok. We survived one trump presidency, we can survive another. We survived before gay marriage or transitioning were legal, if we have to survive that again we will. Please, no matter what happens, promise to stay alive. Youre valuable, youre important, and youre going to be ok. Its better to be overprepared than underprepared. Im not asking you to lose hope (im doing the opposite of that), im asking you to practice coping ahead, get all your coping skills ready, determine now to stay alive, because i dont want any of you to make any rash decisions later in case we get bad news and emotions are high. Make a safety plan if you need to. Make sure you’re gonna be ok
#if you cant feel hopeful or curious for the future#maybe at least you can be strategic#if we lose a bunch of marginalized (future) voters and activists we’re just handing them the majority#if you cant stay alive for yourself. stay alive for all the other marginalized people you’ll vote on behalf of next time#dont do their dirty work for them. dont kill a marginalized person even if that person is you#im sorry this post was a downer im just. really worried about the way ive heard some queer people and especially youth talking#i just wanna do whatever i can in making sure you guys are ok#if you need someone to message feel free. dm’s and asks are always open#also i disagree when people say activists are emboldened when the present is on their side#in my experience that isnt what happens? they get complacent#all the conservatives would quiet down while our own community is strengthened#like how all the conservatives got loud under biden#if anyone more eloquent than me wants to rewrite this please feel free#or just your own spin on it thats not necessarily better#i think the more people we can make sure are mentally prepared the better#just in case#lilac posts#us politics#cw suicide
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The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.
And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.
#cause even if it got to Curly snapping and killing Jimmy for the sakes of the crew would you not have that guilt in being responsible for#anothers death espcially with all the responsibility on his shoulder and how he realizes he tried to be reponsible for things and made them#worse like the guilt drives Jimmy insane even if he doesnt admit like imagine Curly who would care so much and wonder if it shouldve#been him not to mention Anya being free from Jimmy but still not his actions and having to navigate still being stuck with the pregnancy an#the shallow feeling because relief doesn't mean happiness like i think shed believe shed be happier that Jimmy cant get to her anymore but#what now that their stuck? That the Captain is faltering and they are stranded for like another 6 months? If they even make it that long?#Like he may be gone but all his damage is still there and thr wounds fresh like its such a good concept i just cant divide my attention lik#that as i am still in college and it is sadly midterms#anyway uhhhh I just really want to write a fic where Curly and Anya can have that hard conversation on how he handled Jimmy constructively#and without him looking like undercooked skirt steak like there would be those moments where it lingers between the monotiny of staying#alive but how would they even address it? what comes first the sorry or the list of why he should be? like Curly places a lot of value on#his use to others and its interesing and subtle and its mostly directed between Jimmy who steers it and Anya who rides along with it#like go the thoughts and ideas i have but not the fuckin time!!!!#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#also daisuke and swansea are there but like i still have to think of the reflections they have and how to play with their characters in thi#idea world but yeah I want Curly to make amends and Anya to rediscover her autonomy and living outside that fear.
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#drawing#art#twisted wonderland#idia shroud#digital art#twst idia#twst fanart#disney twst#styx incident au#twst yuu#yuusona#yuu is trying#I may change yuus design#there just trying to stay alive#ask questions if you want btw#i don’t really care#I’m running low on ideas#twst grim
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How's about a whumpee who desires pain?
A whumpee who wants to be stressed and panicked and hurt. Everything's been too good for too long, and maybe that frustrates them a little bit.
Why do they feel this way? They don't know. All they do know, is that that risky and/or hurtful scenario is looking quite tempting.
If nobody's going to make them worse, they'll do it themself.
#whump#angst#whumpblr#whumpee#caretaker#whump prompt#whump prompts#whump ideas#whump idea#kinda going through it rn ngl. dont really get why. probably just need to sleep. i did stay up super late last night ngl lol#I think i just kinda wanna feel alive y'know? i yearn for the pain of my heart squeezing in my chest. I want a problem. i want pressure.#eh. doesn't matter. like I said- I'm probably just tired. if somebody's seeing this for some reason- I hope you're having a lovely day/night#imma go to sleep now lol. night!
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I think everyone needs to come together and congratulate DBK (and the rest of the Demon Bull family) for being the only ones to just give up. They DID quit while they were ahead. It's the only reason they're still alive.
#honestly they'd be dead like Spider Queen LBD (if she IS dead) and Azure Lion if they hadn't lol#LIKE. GIRL THEY SAVED THEMSELVES FROM THE NARRATIVE#HOW DID THEY DO THAT#The answer is they stopped trying to live past the end of their myth. They accepted the world as is.#And they run man. They run and after they failed a second time they just like#Went back to their house and stopped#which is really based of them.#Now they eat popsicles on the beach with Wukong and Co! Objectively better outcome#more antagonists should learn from them if they want to stay alive (yellowtusk) (maybe peng but I have a feeling no)#(peng out here with his ''The world could use a little chaos!'' bullshit. Okay. You said the c-word dude that's not good)#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk rant#imp tag
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Kim Dokja is so real. I, too, would give my life over and over again to save my loved ones if I was depressed and thought that the only reason I was still alive is because my death would cause my loved ones suffering
#Like we all agree that Kim Dokja only survived until orv because of twsa and then only actively tried to stay alive was because#He wanted to see the ending and to give everyone else the happy ending twsa!yjh couldn't have#I could see him having a mentality of 'I live only for these reasons. Once they are gone I will have no more reasons/excuses to continue to#Waste resources and continue bothering everyone else and I'll (have to. want to) die#Anyway orv is really fun trust me (source: me)#orv spoilers#mine#kim dokja
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i need a fic of soap bringing ghost home to his family for the holidays. his family’s always disapproved of everything; being queer, being in the military, being with ghost and it’s all over not a great time but they’re trying to pretend for the sake of the holiday. they get into it after dinner one night though and for once soap isn’t backing down, not when it’s ghost they’re attacking, when the power suddenly goes out. soap moves just in time for a shot to come through the window and he orders his family to get down
graves and what’s left of shadow company followed them to glasgow; it’s the first time they’ve been away from the 141 and they think it’ll be their best chance to take them out. johnny and simon are left behind as they become soap and ghost and soap’s childhood home becomes a battleground, his hysterical family who still think he can’t be that good of a soldier now civilians that he has to protect and get out in one piece
#its the full gambit of sisters with their partners and kids#all with respectable normal jobs and lives#then theres john still running around playing soldier and now shacking up with his commanding officer#soaps been quiet the entire time just gritting his teeth and letting them have go after go in the name of peace#ghosts been fuming the entire time but his own family trauma and not wanting to go against johnnys wishes keeps his mouth shut#and then that instant switch the second the bullet comes through the window#theyre sergeant mactavish and lieutenant ghost now and they dont give a single shit about anything butgetting out alive#‘we need to call the police!’#‘call local pd who’re drunk off their arses and never fired their guns in their fucking lives yeah right’#‘this isnt the time for you to play soldier’#‘youre right. this isnt a game. its war and youre gonna shut the fuck up and let me get you outta this alive’#ghost sneaks upstairs to get the hidden guns he brought and to get one of the kids whod been napping#soap stays to get everyone out of the way and watch out for hostiles#ghost slides him a sniper rifle and he takes out the sniper on the opposite roof and when he looks back at his family theyre#looking at him like theyve never seen him before#i just need soap whos been underestimated his entire life showing just how competent he really is#soapghost#ghostsoap#soap mactavish#soap cod#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#we’re a team. ghost team
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what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her#but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son#just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead#so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options#that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive#thinking about it makes me go feral#they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible#and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too#but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye#percy jackson#sally jackson#pjo#hoo#percy and sally#percy jackon and the olympians#whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work#and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts#don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him#but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore?#and he knows that's not true but what if?#i'm thinking it#okay i think that's enough
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i literally love these two fucking idiots from columbus, ohio so much i wanna cry
#they are everything to me#they just make me so happy#idk#you may think it's weird or silly but holy shit#they really make me want to stay alive and somehow this is everything#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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Mike yelling at everyone for expecting El to fight for ‘no reason’ in s3… please Mike, share with the class what would qualify as a valid reason for El to fight?? Will being in danger perhaps? The plot of s1-2 perhaps?
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#i think it’s really interesting tjay in s1-2 mike never asks el if she WANTS to help#she’s in danger and is running from bad men#and Mike feels the urge to help her bc she is in a situation that no kid should be#but then also his best friend is missing#and this girl has super powers and knows where he is???#Mike doesnt take a moment to talk with el to assure helping and straining herself and her powers#if this is what she wants to be doing#and i think el interprets that as this being a requirement for her to stay around#she also recognized Will and so for all we know she did want to help#but the back and forth between both Mike and Dustin and Lucas sort of doubting her#and in worst case scenarios lashing out#ultimately leading to her sacrifice#it makes sense why Mike specifically felt sooooo much guilt#bc he just expected her to help w/out asking first if that’s what she wanted to do#and so then she returns in s2 ALIVE#and yes relieved#but again Will is in danger again#but el is also putting herself in danger after JUST returning#yet mike doesn’t try to convince her to not fight despite the dangers implied#bc the reason for her fighting is valid to him#i just think it’s interesting that the instant Will being in danger is off the table#Mike is now suddenly critical that they need a more justified reason for her to fight#who wants to guess that if Will’s well being wasnt involved#Mike never would have all those doubts in s3 about el going through with it#he might have told her to be careful bc he doesn’t want to lose her#but i don’t think he would have tried to convince her to not fight#i just find that to be something we should examine… in terms of understanding mikes deeper feelings/guilt (survivors)
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i hate when people say they don't want me 2 kill myself but then not give me any attention . if u want me to keep suffering sooooo badly at least give me what makes it a little bearable ( praise )
#idol speaks ♡#95% of people who say that though don't actually care#they just don't wanna deal with how sad they'll be that they can't take u for granted anymore#selfish selfish selfish selfish it pisses me off die#nobody is worth suffering for the rest of my life for#there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me#being told to stay alive makes me wanna kill myself more#if uou really want me to live then love me until I cnat breathe#praise me over and over and over every day#give me so so so much attention#not about anyone in particular btw
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haha wow they're wrapping things up nicely so far! what do you mean jay is staying in fionnaworld
#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!?????#this makes no fucking sense and i will die mad about it#i get little destiny wanting to stay#and even jay from like a 'cool modern world' standpoint#but WHAT ABOUT HIS FUCKING FAMILY???????#you're really trying to make me believe he'd leave behind his four siblings???????#and IF finn's dead#(which i really hope he isn't. that's a whole other rant)#then jay left them with NO FAMILY. NOTHING.#this could have been easily fixed if they just showed the rest of the farmworld family come over#WHAT THE FUCK. this like ruins it for me#he left his family behind!!!!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also unrelated but why the hell was fern holding dj flame's hand#eh. that just doesn't work for me boys.#anyway whatever no one else will care about this it's FINE.#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#jay mertens#AND if finn's alive then he lost his fucking son#and he'll never know what happened to him#that's fucked up
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i got a goose tattooed on the inside of my forearm today and it was a flash piece but it's my favorite tattoo already it means everything to me i could sob
#i love geese so much and so deeply i named my dog after them#goose is my black dragon dog and my loyal faithful companion and my entire world#i just love these birds#they are so misunderstood as aggressive and scary when really they just are sensitive to spatial pressure#and they need a wider diameter than humans are often willing to give#but they are so beautiful i love their long graceful necks and how i can recognize their sounds anywhere#and that no matter where i live i see their little v's in the sky#and of course wild geese by mary oliver is one of the first poems i fell in love with#my english teacher deborah read it aloud to us in high school and it made me want to go outside and to stay alive#and when my gf and i first started dating i knew i loved her for lots of reasons but one of them was that she also loved geese#she told me she had a shared folder with her family members titled “geese i've seen” that she would put her goose photos in#so her entire family could witness them with her#i remember when i was sick with anorexia a few weeks before i was hospitalized a v of canadian geese flew over me on my way into work#and these big fluffy snowflakes were falling down and i could hear them calling#and it made my eyes well up#and i hoped they would get somewhere warm enough for winter#whether or not people have respect for them is a wonderful metric for gauging somebody's character#at the grocery store i worked at when i was 18 the only coworker i grew close to had a similar affinity for geese#she had a necklace of one#a little silver glinting goose in flight :'')#personal
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