#I really want to be less scared of them.

[spectralgecko]

I swear my world is bugs right now. It's getting cold and all of the Critters™ are coming inside, and they do not have the decency or self preservation to remain properly out of sight. Especially the spiders. the others can be relocated most of the time because they aren't terribly skittery, but spiders?

The jumping spiders - who I haven't seen too many of - are all called Bob, and they both don't build webs (at least much) and usually have the common sense to hide when there are Humans in the apartment, so they're safe. And I don't tend to mind them much. They're too small and their legs are too short to be properly startling.

Then there's Bob's Cousins, who are generally kill on sight, at least if they're anywhere besides the entry. Extra nope if they're in the bathroom, bedroom, or have built a web somewhere. Of Bob's friends and relations, we have:

Billy, the spider in the bathroom that may or may not still be there, spider in the kitchen that's deceased now courtesy of The Sonnets of Shakespeare that could have been Billy or might instead have been Fred, spider on and then in my heckin file box now also deceased because I took it outside (equipped with gloves because yeah) that I'm gonna call Joe. And Keith, a spider that I vacuumed up first term and then my roommate set the vacuum in the closet except she pressed the release button. So Keith is either dead or somewhere in the closet.

At one point there was a Steve by the AC unit. He stayed in one place, hid most of the time, and ate unwanted bugs, so he was allowed to stay. The AC is taken out for the winter though, so he got evicted to who knows where.

Oh, and then the random stinkbugs and ladybugs. And occasional lacewing fly. Cuz... yeah.

Bugs.

[s0fter-sin]

ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it

he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this

he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up

soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone

(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)

soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight

the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes

it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)

it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that

“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close

ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship

hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself

soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming

instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started

and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips

[creativesparkz]

who here remembers my dhmis era ???? anyway i redid my recolor trio interpretation for shits and giggles 😊

[elfcollector]

I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!

[bonefall]

I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

[sansaorgana]

I was supposed to stay quiet this season but of course I can't stay quiet so I'm yapping again.

Even though overall I'm Team Green, I would never make fun of Rhaenyra for grieving her son and I hate the way Daemon treats her. Meanwhile, I saw some Team Black people celebrating the death of a child and making fun of The Greens for grieving while they still refer to Rhaenyra and Daemon as "mum and dad". Girl, your "dad" is abusing your "mum" and you're laughing at a dead baby. Congrats 👏🏻🎉

[regrettablemeasure]

Everyone coddle me and pat my ass I'm being a so brave and writing letters to my estranged siblings + uncle

[quietwingsinthesky]

actually wait i do have a fucked up millie fact to share for the night. her s4-5 timeline in my head have her becoming best friends with chuck (read: Millie keeps breaking into his house despite his constant protests for her to Stop Doing That. in her defense, the roadhouse burned down and if she goes to bobby’s, her brothers will know within the hour. she has decided this means they’re best friends, and chuck is kind of pathetic and weak and can’t stop her in any meaningful way.)

(in the endverse, millie and dean aren’t on speaking terms. they’ll fight together, millie will follow him most places, but whatever was there is broken beyond repair. that’s probably because she blames him for what happened to sam, and he blames her for blaming him, and it’s a whole cycle. but in the wake of that, she’s latched onto chuck to fill the void left by sam and dean, something that’s not working. but is also the reason that when future!dean says they’re striking out to kill samifer, intent on feeding everyone into the meat grinder to do so, past!dean catches millie and chuck preparing to run in the opposite direction and not look back. i don’t think he tries to stop them.)

the point of all that being that the s5 finale happens, and millie doesn’t see any of chuck’s half of the story. doesn’t get to know what happens to him.

she just finds an empty house. she assumes it got to be too much for him. she looks for a body, and she doesn’t get to have one. she leaves.

years later, his face is staring at her across the rooms of this place that’s supposed to be her home. and millie has spent these years running in the leagues of angels and demons and leviathans, and if she knows only one thing, it’s that that’s chuck’s face. but that’s not him. not anymore. what’s inside it was not her friend. no matter what it says.

[primarinite]

Carracosta and Dalia, 13 (roleswapped)?

became way too attached to this au lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[sherlock-is-ace]

the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.

Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho

[robindaydream]

Alright, I've been meaning to do this for a long time, but I'm finally starting a patreon.

I've spent the last ten years doing shitty retail and food service jobs and honestly it got pretty bad for me for a few years, and it was hard to do anything besides work and eat and sleep.

But I've been doing better this year! And I want to make things. My own things. I'm feeling inspired and like I actually love drawing for the first time in a long time. And I want to hold onto that and keep going. I want to do things I actually care about and believe in and even if this doesn't fully replace having a job I can spend more time doing art and less time making coffee for strangers.

There's not going to be a bunch of big fancy tiers to the patreon just yet. I mostly plan on using it for posing design and concept work for projects I want to work on. If that's something that sounds interesting to you, or if you've ever appreciated the various gay horses and lesbian animals I've drawn over the years, please consider throwing a few bucks a month my way.

Thanks for everything!

[kelpermoosee]

I need to draw Booigi real soon, the lack of them is making me itchy

[cerealbishh]

"You okay?"

"Mhm."

"Good, now go get ready and wish for the best."

[fridayyy-13th]

wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.

[buttercupshands]

Playing through Red&Yellow 2.0 undertale mod and let's just say

I haven't been this inspired to draw something undertale related *specifically* from Undertale itself in years

Also play it if you haven't and you have undertale on pc, it's extremely worth it