#I really take any opportunity to bitch about fans who bitch about shit I like

[bardicious]

One of the things I love about SNW (though some of the fandom is totally bitching about it) is how thin Kirk looks, not cause I prefer him that way, but he almost looks underweight? An impression I didn't get of Paul Wesley in tvd! And between this, the episodes in which Bones places Jim on a diet in TOS, and Jim's being overweight in older movies give me the impression that JIm is bad at regulating his food intake, body weight, and probably does have some food disorders as a result of Tarsus!

[goldsbitch]

Just don't talk

summary: Enemies to lovers on steroids. Lando can't stand Y/N, the first female driver in F1. He also can't stand not having her with her clothes on.

warnings: please don't be offended by weak ass feminism debate, swear words, minors do not interact, just generally don't take this one too seriously, smut (that's what we came for)

He radiated stupidity. Reckless, annoying, careless and just plain stupid. Blood boiled hard and fast in Y/N when he entered the room. Cocky smile, as if he was the shit. And those poor fans did not even realize, because his PR managers worked around the clock to stop the scandals getting out and to remain his bubbly, down-to-earth image he seemed to hold in general public. Now, she never doubted his driving genius. It was honest respect on that part. No, this was about everything else. Even the way he grew his "so called" beard annoyed her.

She radiated arrogance. Being the first female driver on the grid had everyone looking differently at her, as it would be the opposite if she was just another rookie driver. He could not stand that. It felt strangely misogynistic. But what sent him to levels of annoyance he had not discovered prior to meeting her, was how she did absolutely nothing about this. Danced around as if she did not see it. But Lando could see through her, she was a calculating bitch that knew exactly what was happening.

It's not like either of them got it wrong really. Lando had his personality that did not correlate with the desired persona the public wanted him to maintain. For as long as he remembered, he had to be a grown up, missing his young adult experiences completely. Sometimes, it just got the better of him. Lando was not exactly proud of that or anything. Y/N was indeed calculating. But it would be hard to argue that she could have chosen not to do that - yet, the world was simply not ready for any kind of female driver to enter the grid. She had to be smarter than an average rookie. There is a possibility that this was all just in her head, but it was hard to prove it at this point.

They avoided talking to each other like they would avoid the plague. Lando felt like all the years of media training lead to the moments where they shared the interview room. Their disenchantment with each other was not exactly a known thing, they were deceitful enough to do keep it between themselves. Well, the more observant drivers and members of their team were well aware of the truth. There was not a single member of the close inner circle that would dare to speak about how when these two had to share the pre race interviews, it would be the driest interview of them all. Frankly, drivers dreaded that. Daniel would be the one to try and break the ice. George found it mildly amusing. Max could not give two shits about them.

And to the luck of everyone involved, there was Lando, set next to Alex Albon, who was sat next to Y/N. He sighed heavily before taking hold of the microphone.

First interviewer asked about the lasted updates on Y/N Aston Martin car. The second one went to Lando, with a request to address the bad strategy the team had on the last Grand Prix, which he answered very diplomatically.

Third interviewer asked Y/N on whether the talks have started regarding her contract for the upcoming season.

"Yes, we are talking about that. I love racing and I'm planning on staying here," she laughed lightly. "I want to be here to...possibly to inspire and attract young girls, same as those like Fernando was a role model to both Alex and Lando. The female audience of F1 is growing and that is absolutely amazing. And perhaps now will the female fans have an opportunity to cheer for one of their own."

"May I have a question?" Lando entered the chat. His tone was indicating fire being lit within him and him intending to spread it wide. The game was on. Y/N tensed up. Alex smiled nervously.

Both Lando and Y/N shot a look at the interview moderator, who was prepared for many scenarios, but not this one exactly. Once Lando received an unsure nod, he continued. "We both know the numbers, we sit on similar meetings. The percentage of female audience is now nearing almost half, is that correct?"

"Well, we are nowhere near that - more like 30-40%"

"Right. And this trend has started prior to you joining the grid, right?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Are you saying that the female viewers did not have anyone to connect with before that?"

"I'd be brave enough to assume so. Where are you heading?"

Alex wanted to stop them, he shot looks to multiple people who had the power to end this. Members present from both teams woke up from their slow mundane afternoon. But the conversation was too fast for anyone to interrupt.

"So, what was the motivation of the female viewers to watch F1? Why were they watching?"

"Um, well the sport is fascinating and can capture one. The quality of our media teams has risen greatly, social media and-"

"Yes. So are you saying that young boys and teenagers were watching this for a different reason that girls and any other genders?"

"Like I was saying, it might be hard to connect. Young boys and teenagers can relate and even imagine themselves as the future F1 driver."

"So why do, in your opinion, little girls and female teenagers watch races? Are you saying that prior to your start, their reasons were less valid? Less noble? Does miss misogyny over here think that female audience is now validated due to her representation in the sport?"

The room went silent. Y/N took a deep breath and without missing a beat she replied.

"I'm sorry, there must have been something foul in your cornflakes this morning. After all, even in these progressive times, some of the people involved did not get the memo about the way how to interact with the fanbase in a healthy manner. It must be hard hard to think straight and not draw over-the-top conclusions when one's mind is stuck in an endless cycle of "Hello, gorgeous" and "Sure, I'll text you back.""

Alarmed looks were shared accros the room. Alex tried to laugh it off. The moderator ended the discussion. The pair kept staring at each other, until their prompted their exits orchestrated by their team.

//

Asshole. Obnoxious idiot. She wanted to slap him. The social media was on fire, this topic clearly resonating among fans. It was clear the opinions were divided and this was just not good to have on your track record. She was mad at herself as well. Got caught up like a fly to a spiderweb. He won this one. She'll just have to beat him during the race or shoot him in the leg at the next opportunity.

"Stay true to your beliefs" was the caption under his newly posted photo. Smiling as ever. Some photographer with under-appreciated talent managing to capture him in the perfect light. Total thirst trap. Her PR team was figuring out how to salvage this, but everyone knew Lando stuck a good one this time.

But that was not the opinion of the McLaren media team, who really did work their butts off the last few months. This was not good, as his haters were currently busy pointing out holes in his argument, making Y/N the hero they wanted to have. PR team picked the photo of him they had in store in order to play it safe and nonchalantly. Lando got a big threatening talk right after the press conference. McLaren was not letting the word misogyny be connected to their brand. He defended himself for a while, but at the end agreed to avoid bringing these subjects to light prior to the knowledge of the team. In his eyes, she won. He got her free attention. The nickname miss misogyny was not going to stick. The only thing this brough him was a headache and built up anger.

She was bursting with anger and was not about to leave it in for herself. "You can stick this bullshit up you ass, Lando."

"Don't assume I like the same things you do," was his immediate response.

Confidentiality. That was the only thing she believed he could uphold. Both of them had too much to loose.

//

They were bad for each other. Bringing out the worst traits, putting others in discomfort and creating drama out of nowhere. But the once the night covered the daily routines and worries, the truth would start crawling out. Once the chequered flag got packed up after a race, it was time for a parade of red flags to begin.

It was suppose to be a one time mistake. Party that go out of hand. Club bathroom sex that was better than they'd be willing to admit. They never spoke of it. Nobody knew.

Like magnets they circled towards each other on the quiet nights on the road. Always her place, never his. As if she'd make the effort to come toward him. Like he would ever let her invade his private safe space. It worked for them, transforming the anger into rough bites and hickeys. Lando enjoyed leaving them on her, just at the line where he knew she'd have to think about how to cover them up and made sure she never made any mark on him. Hate fucking, that's what that was.

Once again, his hot breath cut through the crispy Monaco night air coming from the opened window of her bedroom. He had her handcuffed to the bed side and legs wrapped around his toned torso. He was driving her crazy, not letting her stay on top this time, robbing her of the pleasure of watching him submit to her moves and direction. He watched attentively, making sure he changed his tempo whenever she was about to climax. She was not one to enjoy delayed gradification, not when this obnoxious idiot was watching her and having fun with it. One thing he had to admit was that she was fucking hot, mainly in the way how she able to carry herself around. From the first moment he had the misfortune to see her in person, it had been the one thought unable to leave his mind. What did she look like when she was just about to come? Was she the one to make any sounds? Did she like it rough or soft? Would she be able to dominate him? During the day, he let his frustrations out verbally, during the night he thrusted into her as if there was no tomorrow. Like a drug addict getting his hit. She was even more mad at him when he was fucking her. Because it was just so good. They had the same rhythm and their bodies spoke in a language no one would have understood anyway. So she just surrendered. It drove her crazy, not being on the top. He licked and bit her nipples and did forbidden things - like stopped fucking her out of nowhere and buried his head in her waist, slowly twisting his tongue around her clit. When he felt like she adjusted to that, he continued back with thrusting in her. He moved so fast that she started get dizzy from the motion, the heavenly kind of dizzy. Lando watched her like and animal would observe his prey. Not often did he manage to get completely under his control, but tonight was one of the precious days he'd be recalling in the shower days after. He delayed his own orgasm for as long as he could, but there was a point where he just gave in and released him into the condom. There was always a hint of disappointment in the joyous moment. His darkest wish was to have her walk the day after with his cum dripping out of her. She was his little work slut, his nemesis, his Vegas girl.

Y/N never wanted to cuddle afterwards. She appreciated that Lando always swiftly got up and left without a word. Because what if he had spoken, what if the oxytocin started flowing in and she'd loose her guard and get herself in even bigger of a mess than this little game was. She was the first female driver. There were things she had to prove to the world. Fucking one of the other drivers was not one of them.

p2

[slutouttanowhere]

Pairing: Randy Orton x Mavis Pete x LA Knight

Warnings: none

Word count: 4k

a/n: ngl yall it’s currently 3:23 am right now, and I’m just so excited to get this to y’all. This…mini series (I’m not sure don’t get your hopes up lol) is not turning out how I expected, I accidentally added LA Knight to the mix completely forgetting he’s currently feuding with Randy canonically. The female main character, Mavis Pete is my oc, and if it isn’t obvious she’s Black. Anywho, hope y’all enjoy the full version, as always likes,reblogs and comments are appreciated

Chapter 1

Friday Night SmackDown– 7:30 pm

Adam Pearce had enough on his plate with The Judgement Day running around terrorizing the roster, and ruining matches, now on top of that he had to deal with Mavis Pete. She’s been raising hell for the past two weeks, for every time she didn't get a title shot, she’s attacking every female superstar that does. Sabotaging all their opportunities in any way she could. Suspending her wasn’t enough to deter her, no matter how big the fine, she paid them. He’s talked to Hunter multiple times about her behavior, but it seemed as if the young super star was hell bent on having her way. Luckily for her, it’s working out to her benefit with the crowds, but he needed to find a creative way to subdue an insubordinate talent. He tried to put her with Drew before, but the bickered like children to the point where he didn’t have a choice but to split them up. ‘Hmm, there’s gotta be someone else….’ He thought to himself, he looked through his roster, and he didn’t really see anyone he thought would be a good fit. ‘Mavis, despite her causing a hell storm, she’s still in pretty good standing with the locker room. If I put her with anyone she gets along with too well it’ll be pointless.’ He continued to ponder on this, flipping back and forth through his documents. Suddenly, his office door swung open, an agitated, Randy Orton stood in the doorway. A stern look on his face, his lips parted to speak, but before he could get his words out, Mavis came barging in right behind him. “Finally your office hours are open, listen I don't have time to waste you know what I want–

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners, kid?” Randy cut her off, he turned to her, temporarily taking his eyes off their general manager. She looked taken aback by his attitude, one hand on her hip, and her face scrunched into a disgusted expression. Mavis and Randy rarely cross paths, but of course she knew who he was, she’d never tell him, but he’s in her top five favorite wrestler’s of all time. Given any other circumstance, she’d be gushing, and fangirling. She snapped out of her thoughts quickly, his icy blue irises analyzing her, her diamond chains catching his eyes. 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to interrupt a bad bitch when she’s talking?” She asked, a slight smirk on her lips, to which Randy scoffed, and turned back to Pearce, blocking Mavis’ sight 

“Anyway, like I was saying.” He started talking again, ignoring the younger superstar behind him, Adam raised his eyebrows expectantly, but to Randy’s misfortune, he never got the chance to speak. 

Mavis rolled her eyes, and cleared her throat, “like I was saying.” She had pushed past Randy, her hips bumping him out the way, now it was his turn to be shocked. “It’s time to make some shit shake, I think baby face was nice, but being heel is what the fan really want from me.”  He watched as she demanded answers from the SmackDown Gm, Randy would be lying if he said he hadn’t been watching Mavis’ performances. She was a star in the making, if she could control her attitude, and if she could learn to pull that trigger when necessary, she’d be gold. Or in her case diamonds.

“You wanna be a champion, but don’t know when to stop running your mouth? The disrespect is astounding, please tell me you know better than this?” Randy talked over Pearce, he watched the interaction between the superstars, and now the wheels were turning in his head. He finally had a perfect idea, maybe it was temporary, but it would keep everyone busy till he figured out the alternative. 

“Listen, I know you’re old enough to be a father…” Her lips pressed together a poor attempt to repress her disdain, and to keep her mouth from becoming more reckless. She didn’t understand why Randy treated her the way he did, like she didn’t even exist. It bruised her ego that out of everyone she got along with, he was the one she couldn’t crack. 

Randy smirked in response, his assessment was swift, the revealing outfits, and over zealous confidence is what caught his eye when she first got drafted. In a way, she reminded him of a younger version of himself. He let out a condescending chuckle, and as badly as he wanted to let his intrusive thoughts take over, he tried to remain professional. “It seems to me like you sure could use the guidance of a wiser man, Hot Girl, Maivs Pete.” He said her name mockingly, and she’s not sure what bothered her more, the fact that he thought that she needed his help, or that she was turned on by his innuendo. They stared each other down, neither one of them refusing to break, till Adam Pearce clapped his hands together.

“That’s it! I got the perfect idea, since you're both more than likely here for the same reason, contenders spots. So here’s the plan, in a few minutes, I want you two to meet me out there in that ring.”  Adam clasped his hands together, a satisfied expression on his face as he watched Mavis and Randy pause their bickering, and turn their attention to their boss. 

“For what exactly?” Randy asked , his arms folded across his chest, he watched Pearce with a skeptical glance. He gestured between the two, a wide grin grew across his mouth, Randy and Mavis turned to look at each other, look back at Pearce, and back at each other. That’s when it clicked in their heads what he was referring to, Mavis rolled her eyes, and Randy groaned. 

“I don't have time for this, Pearce, I’m not a babysitter.”

“I couldn’t care less as long as it involves a title shot.” 

Randy, and Mavis spoke simultaneously, the roar of the fans in the packed Ford Field Stadium could be heard throughout the whole arena. The chants of them demanding to see their hometown sweetheart, Mavis Pete, could be heard throughout the arena. It warmed her heart to know that damn near the whole city showed up for her.

“That’s too bad, my choice has been made, and in just a little bit you’ll find out more details. Now, if I were you two I’d take this opportunity to get to know each other a little better, because whether you like it, or not, you will be working together for quite a while.” The two of them began to fuss, but Pearce was not hearing any of it; he shut them down immediately, then swept them out of his office. They stood there looking at each other dumb founded, this was not how either of them expected their night to go at all, Mavis wasn't on the card till much later in the night. Randy was supposed to work Austin Theory, how he just got switched from one rookie to the other? He had no clue, this was still the opposite of what he originally came to Adam’s office for. He asked for lemons, they gave him oranges. Mavis turned to go her own way, not before Randy reached out, and grabbed her by the arm. 

“Hey, quit it with the sass, you're not as tough as you think you are.” Randy called her bluff, a knowing grin on his lips, but she refused to fold. She rubbed her lips together redistributing the coat of gloss on her lips; her eyebrow raised as she pondered rather she’d play nice or not. Randy watched her expectantly, which caused Mavis to sigh softly, her expression told him nothing about how she genuinely felt. Instead, she morphed back into that playful, flirtatious girl she showed everyone else.

“Ugh, you’re no fun, you mine as well relax since you’re gonna be stuck with me.” She snorted, a smirk slowly growing across her face, her gaze held Randy’s, but when he tilted his head confusedly, she let out a mischievous giggle. Her hand on her hip, switching her weight from one foot to the other, Randy eyes shamelessly wondered down her body, taking in her curves from this distance, and took note of how toned her muscles are. Her skin looked soft to the touch, and it shimmered like mermaid scales underneath the lights from all the body glitter.  She definitely knew how to present herself like a star.

“This isn't the first time AP has tried to use someone else to ‘keep me in line’, a month ago he tried to stick me with Drew, but little did I know, he’s a bigger brat than I am.” She folded her arms over her chest, Randy pushed off the wall, and took a few steps towards her, minimal space between them. As tall as Mavis is, Randy is taller, and bigger; she peered up at him from underneath her long lashes. He was curious about her; he wanted to see past her mask. For a fleeting moment her cocky demeanor faded, he looked away for a second, an official spoke to him. Randy mumbled a few words, but by the time he looked back to her, whatever he thought he saw was gone.

“Do you think I’m gonna keep you in line?” Randy asked, his voice low enough for only her to hear.

Mavis shrugged her shoulders, her lips stretching into a smirk, “maybe, we’ll see.” She turned to walk away to get her gear on for tonight, but not before turning in enough time to notice how his eyes had dropped to her ass. He took his time making his way up to her face, she angled her body giving him a better view, and making a show of it.

“See ya out there…partner.” Mavis grinned like a Cheshire Cat, then sashayed away. 

Adam Pearce stood in the middle of the ring, mic in hand ready to address the WWE universe. The crowd buzzed in response, they had a rowdy crowd tonight in Mavis Pete’s hometown Detroit, Michigan. The way the arena is sold out, you’d think it was a pay per view event, but no, this was an average Monday night. “Good evening Detroit, and welcome…to Friday Night SmackDown!” The fans roared in response, Adam looked over to the camera, his hand gesturing to the viewers on the other side of the camera at home. “And good evening to you all at home. I know you all are excited for the show tonight, so I won't hold you up for too long. Recently, I’ve had more than a few trouble makers on my hands, among the few, your very own Mavis Pete.” On cue they chanted for her relentlessly, the sound of thousands of people was damn near overwhelming, but it’s nothing Adam isn't used to. 

He continued his announcement, moving about the ring. “With that being said, tonight will be my second attempt at partnering ‘Thee Money Making Mavis’, who can not only subdue her reckless behavior, but also keep her line.” He paused for a moment taking a breath, “this superstar is not only a veteran to the game, but he himself is someone who’s had their fair share of suspensions. Someone whose legacy is killing WWE legends, Mavis’ new partner… is none other than Randy Orton!” He let the crowd react, they stood to their feet to chant, ‘RKO’ he nodded his head proud of his decision, the people loved it, and that’s what mattered to him. 

“With that being said, tonight, we’ll settle some grievances. Mavis was to go one night one later on tight with Bianca Belair for a contender spot, but it seems like you’ll be getting spoiled here tonight Detroit because, not only will you see Bianca Belair, and Mavis Pete compete for the number one contenders spot to face Rhea Ripley at SummerSlam…” He took a breath, Bianca bumped shoulders with Mavis as they sat side by side backstage, and watched the show on the monitors. They had been talking about having this match for ages, and finally they would get the chance to show out, and shine their black girl magic on live television. Bianca was already a three time champion, if anything this match was to put Mavis over; Randy came over to take a seat with them, Mavis’ eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Ladies.” He greeted them, Bianca smiled greeting the well known ‘Viper’, but she nearly falls out her seat seeing Mavis’ reaction. Feeling Bianca’s eyes on her, Mavis turned to her older friend, and gave her a glare that could kill. Her lips turned upward into a knowing grin, but said nothing else.

“And I haven’t forgotten about Randy…joining his tag partner Mavis Pete tonight, as he faces off against LA Knight, think of it as a reconciliation for how last week's contender match was ruined by The Bloodline. Whichever team gets the win by pinfall or submission, is the team's victors, how does that sound?” The arena erupted in response causing Adam’s lips to pull up into a satisfied grin, he waved to the crowd, and right when he was leaving the ring, the camera’s cut to a backstage segment with Liv Morgan. Randy turned to Mavis, his eyes dropped to her neck expecting to see her diamond flooded pokemon chain, but it wasn't there. Curiosity getting the better of him he just came out and asked, “You don't seem like a girl that likes anime.” He suddenly spoke up after being quiet for a few moments, Mavis almost forgot he was there, Bianca on the other hand, took that as her cue, using Montez as her excuse to leave. This left Mavis all alone with Randy, they weren't that far from the guerilla, and had a little bit of time before their match. 

“Believe it or not, girls do watch anime, and a whole lot of other nerdy things.” She grinned, her lips glossy, and shining. Her eyes looked down at her nails, inspecting them nonchalantly, something he’s noticed her doing often. More so when she’s disinterested in what people were saying, but that didn't turn Randy off from getting into her head now that he’s seeing her up close. 

“That’s not what I meant, it’s just you're so —

“Pretty?” She cut him off beaming, showing off her diamond encrusted grills that were outlined with gold, Mavis has never had the chance to be so flirty with him, and it was kind of thrilling to see how this was going to play out. ‘Ole Scrap Daddy may have done me a favor, Drew wasn’t  this fun to play with.’ She thought to herself, flash backs of her time spent working with, “The Scottish Warrior,” replayed in her mind. She could see why her best friend, Desiree Simons, liked him so much. Randy pressed his lips together, the corner of his lip twitched, and his eyes shined with mischief. 

“While you are pretty Mavis, I was going to say…cool, you seem too cool to be into nerdy things.” Randy confused, his voice low enough for only the two of them to hear, Mavis nearly choked on her spit not expecting his response. He looked at her expanctanly, the ball was in her court, and for the first time she was rendered speechless. Though she recovered quickly, but not nearly as fast as she could have. 

She crossed one thigh over the other, her body less rigid than before. Her gaze softened as she watched him with hooded eyelids. “You think I’m pretty? Say it again…please.” 

“Ya ready for tonight Petey.” LA Knight’s voice could be heard from down the hall, aloof to the heat between Randy and Mavis. Randy looked like he wanted to swallow her whole, she got to him when he least expected, her boldness excited  him. He liked when his prey played with him before he striked. He rolled his shoulders, taking LA Knights distraction as time for him to cool down, and adjust.

“Aye! LA, you know I’m always ready.” She said playfully, his eyes looked her up and down, he swore he could still taste her on his tongue. Randy had heard rumors of the two of them having a small fling, but he didn't hear much more than that. He knew there were a few guys in the locker room lining up to get their chance with the self proclaimed ‘WWE Resident Hottie’. He knew for a fact some of them were in over their head, Mavis was too high maintenance to keep up with for an unseasoned man. For some reason he didn't like the way LA was looking at her, the way she was inviting his attention, and egging it on. Randy tried to find his breathing, and clam himself, when Mavis let out a giggle to something LA had said. That’s when he cleared his throat, unable to be around the two of them at the same time anymore.

“Oh wassup man, how are ya?” LA ask as if just noticing Randy being there, he could care less that Randy was standing there watching him and Mavis practically eye fuck each other. Every man that comes across her path is in constant competition with the other man that thought he had a chance. Truth is, none of them were particularly special, she did have her favorites though. LA Knight being one. No one turley knew who her number ones were, but he learned that if you were low key enough, and just went along for the ride you might be a main player. That’s all he wanted with Mavis, was to have fun, rather it was sex or not. He genuinely did like her, she was smart, and talented as all hell. He didn’t realize the longer he stayed, the further her fell down the rabbit whole to Mavis’ wonderland. ‘Ya just haven’t figured it out yet have you Randal?’ LA watched Randy with a scrutinizing gaze, he didn’t know much about the legacy kid personally, but Randy did look like a guy to fight over his possessions. It’s too early to tell where Randy will fall in the line up of Mavis’ chosen ones, but he’ll make sure to keep an eye out for the old snake. 

“Just another Friday night, chaos, and energy is in the air.” He smiled pleasantly, standing from his seat, and blocking LA Knight’s view of Mavis. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, he knew what Randy was trying to do, and it wouldn’t work. Mavis is going to do, and talk to who she wants. She leaned back in her chair, a smirk on her lips, but she sat idly. The two men talked formalities while they waited, but after a while, an official came over to Mavis letting her know that she had 10 minutes before she walked. 

She pushed her chair back, then stood up stretching her arms, and legs. LA Knight took that as a chance to get one last comment in, “need me to help stretch you out? Don’t wanna pull a muscle.” His pretty baby blue eyes watched her, taking in everything, from her perfectly applied makeup, to her Nike promoted ring gear. His eyes lingered on her breast, more memories of the nights they spend in her hotel making his head spin. 

She looked at Randy, his facial expression blank, but his eyes sparked a flame of jealousy. She bit her lip looking over Randy’s shoulder at LA Knight, she shrugged as she looked at him sheepishly. “Mm, maybe next time, sweet of you to be concerned though.”  She looked up at the clock on the wall signaling that she had eight minutes left, as she was led past Randy, she put a hand on his large shoulder. “See ya out there, partner.” Her hand slid down his arm, his eyes following her movements, and lingered on her as she galloped down the hall to the main curtains. 

Her music hit ‘Bling Bling Bling, bitches are mad.’ Mavis popped out from behind the titon tron, and Randy swore he’s never heard a pop so loud before. He looked over to the monitor, and as the camera panned out to the crowd, not a single person was sitting. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she danced down the ramp to the ring, she flicked her waist length, purple hair over her shoulder. A few fans from the crowd reached out for her, shouting for her to acknowledge them, but Mavis scrunched her face up in disgust. Some of them didn’t appreciate her attitude, “that’s why you’re that bitch Mavis!” A girl near the front row screamed at her, she turned to see a group of young girls, maybe in their twenties, cheering for her.

“Yeah I know.” She smirked arrogantly, Mavis has been begging for weeks for a switch up on her character, the baby face run wasn’t working with the fans anymore, her real fans. They wanted something different of her, but it was like pulling teeth with creative. She figured she’d just give the people what they wanted, if they loved it, majority of the time she got in a lot of trouble. But consistently doing what others are telling her, going against her intuition, then she felt none of it is worth it. She didn’t tell anyone, but it was starting to affect her mental, just going along with what the company wanted was killing her own creativity. Her recent push backs was the only way she knew how to get what she wanted, suspensions be damned.

“She’s not the girl you think she is, you know. She may have a lot of eyes on her, and a lot of dudes lined up. That doesn’t mean everyone makes the cut, that includes you.” LA Knight spoke up from beside him, a serious expression etched across his face as he stood beside his co-worker. Truth be told, he felt Randy would be his only competition, he’s one of Mavis’s types, and that didn’t sit well with him. He blamed himself for just cruising along this whole time thinking he was secure with her, he planned on telling her how he felt…eventually. However, with Randy in the picture now, it has caused LA Knight to shift things into another gear.

Randy’s eyes flickered over to him momentarily, “and why are you telling me that?” His mind distracted by the way she dropped into a full split on the apron, and crawled into the ring from underneath the bottom rope.

“Because I know you’ve heard the whispers, how can people not talk about her ya know? But I know you’re a guy that doesn’t get tangled up in the drama, so I wouldn’t expect you to know that. I’ll say this then I’ll leave, no matter what you hear people say, don’t believe it. Don’t bother trying to slither your way into the fold, she runs a tight ship.”  That caught Randy’s attention, he tore his eyes away from the screen to look at his colleague, they held each other's stare. Randy nodded his head in understanding, what he didn’t understand was why LA Knight was going out of his was to throw him off a trail Randy wasn’t even on to begin with. He had a few opinions of his own about Mavis; he thinks she is arrogant, and impossibly flashy. However, he respected her for taking charge of her own character, and story lines. When he was her age, he was looking to everyone else about what to do, but Mavis already has it figured out. So, whatever rumors LA Knight was implying, must be worse than what he assumed. He left Randy to himself, a few seconds passed, then an official came to get him, but he was already making his way to the curtain. When they hit his music he took a deep breath to try to get the past thirty minutes out of his head for now. 

Their match as been going for a few minutes now, Randy and LA knight started the match, till is slowly transitioned over to the ladies. Bianca was busy yelling at LA Knight for getting in her way during the match, so Mavis took that as an opportunity to try and catch her in a roll up pin. Banica’s legs shot up, and effectively kicked out before the count of three. 

Randy watched from his corner, he wasn’t sure when Mavis got this good, but her in-ring work has already peaked since four months ago. The two women had been beating each other inside the ring for so long, Randy, and LA Knight had been sidelined unintentionally. Until, Bianca whipped Mavis into the ropes, and as she bounced off, Bianca slashed Mavis with her long braid. You could hear everyone simultaneously cringing, and grunting from the sound of her hair cracking Mavis’s flesh. 

“Goddamn it! Fuck! Forget this, hell nah.” Mavis shouted, she immediately backed away from her opponent, nearly running to the corner to tag Randy. 

“Bet you’ve never been happier to see me huh?” He chuckled as he slapped her shoulder lightly, which forced Bianca to make her tag to LA. Mavis laid on her back on the apron, both hands above her head, and her eyes closed. Her skin was throbbing, and stinging on that side. This sure will leave a nasty bruise tomorrow, but for now she’d have to suck it up. She brushed her hand over the area, her skin was hot to the touch, and she could feel how welting began. 

Regardless she got up in just enough time to see how LA Knoght accidentally knocked Bianca off the apron, and into the floor from Randy roughly shoving him into the corner. He began to fight back enough to get Randy down, as he laid there on his back, LA took that as the opportunity to climb up to the top rope. ‘Classic Randall’ Mavis’ lips pulled up into a smirk, she knew  there’s only one way this is gonna end at this point. As LA came flying from the top rope, Randy sprung to life at the last second and caught him in the RKO. 

Instinctively Randy went for the pin, by the time Banica jumped back into the ring to break the count it was too late. The bell rang, and Randy and Mavis were named victors. Adrenaline pumping in her veins she ran into the ring, and hopped on Randy, wrapping her arms and legs around him. As soon as their skin touched, she was reminded of the lashing Banica gave her not too long ago, and instantly she cringed away. “That’s a pretty nasty mark you got there, let’s go get it checked out?” Randy offered Mavis a hand to help her steady herself between the ropes, and for a second their eyes locked Mavis felt vulnerable. Like he was looking into her soul. She coughed awkwardly, then jumped down from the apron, and made her way up the ramp. 

“Jesus Bianca, spare me next time.” Mavis playfully scolded, her eyebrows drawn together as she pointed at the red slash mark that wrapped around her side, like a devilish hug. Banica grinned from ear to ear, swinging her braid in her hand, she knew Mavis could handle a little pain, but apologized anyway. 

“I am sorry though, I seen that Back Seat finisher coming and I said this girl trynna kill me. Not my fault I beat you to the punch.” She laughed lightly, the doctors fixed Mavis up and let her be on her way. A gentle hand on her shoulder caught her attention, she turned to see Randy with his long arm reaching out to her. He let his hand slide down her arm, just as she did earlier, feeling her toned muscles underneath the purple mesh fabric. Their fingertips grazed, but at the last second she caught the tips of his fingers before she had a chance to fall to his side. She looked up at him, and for once a genuine smile settled into his face. His gaze softened, as he lets her have a peak of the real him, but it was gone just as easily as it appeared. 

“Not bad kid.” His lips now curing into a smirk, his icy eyes inviting her in to play, and though she started this, Mavis didn’t intend on finishing it. 

“I did okay.” She mumbled meekly, her body slightly turned away from him, and her free arm wrapping around her midsection to keep his eyes off her skin. He tilted his head, watching her curiously now, ‘you wanted this.’ Randy thought to himself, he wanted to laugh at her sudden shyness, but he held it in.  

“Oh don’t get shy on me now sweetheart, what, now that I’ve shown you a little attention you don’t know how to act?” He leaned in slightly trying to catch her gaze, she sucked her teeth, yanking her hand away from him. A fire lighting in her eyes, that’s exactly what he wanted, and though he knew the tender side that resided in her would be interesting to see. Randy wanted this side of her much more, to get her fired up, just to blow her out again. 

“Boy fuck you.” She rolled her eyes, flicked her hair over her shoulder, and walked away. She was more annoyed that she lost her cool, than the way he tried to embarrass her. He caught up to her again, he tried to grab her by the arm, but when she snatched her arm away, she whipped around to face him. To her surprise he was closer than she anticipated, and nearly ran into him. 

“Hey, hey, hey now. No reason to be mean, I was just joking around, I’m sorry.” He apologized, feigning guilt, and pressing his plans together, pretending to pray. Mavis’ lips pressed together unimpressed, from a distance Randy could see LA making his way down the hall heading in their direction. “How about we go out for a drink, just you and me, think of it as a celebration. And…is officially getting to know each other.” He offered, Mavis folded her arms over her chest as she thought about it for a moment, and boy did she take her time. 

“You were looking like money out there Mavis, could hardly keep focus.” LA Knight drew her attention to him as he approached, she didn’t see the way Randy grimaced, but she felt it. It’s not lost on her that the two men never got along, Knight’s arrogance had always rubbed Randy the wrong way, and one night he let it slip that he and Randy had more than a few heated exchanges. Despite being in the game for 20 years, he still has yet to earn Randy’s respect. The Viper has claimed on several occasions that once all the hype dies, LA Knight is just going to sink with the rest of them. 

“Hey better watch yourself, Banica takes her in ring work very seriously, next time it might be you who gets whooped” The two of them small talk for a while, Mavis knew exactly what he wanted from her, but she was going to make him ask rather than her being the one to offer. Randy however, wasn’t moving from his spot, instead he made himself comfortable against the wall bearing the cold bite of the white bricks. 

“Tell me you’re coming out tonight, it’s been a minute.” And there it was, the invitation, Randy respected the consistency. What he expected was for Mavis to ditch him, and take LA Knight up on his offer since the two of them had a “history” so to speak.

“Actually, I’m already booked, sorry babe.” She smiled sheepishly, she squeezed his shoulder, though his eyes told a different story, he took on the chin like a man. Mavis hasn’t turned him down in almost a month straight, but as luck would have it, Randy posed something more interesting than what she was used to. Without so much of a word, she left the two men alone together yet again. Not wanting to feel the embarrassment any longer, LA began to walk, but not before Randy’s last words. 

“You’re in love with her.” He chuckled in disbelief, and just like that Randy said the one thing out loud, that LA could never. The two men went their separate ways, again he caught up to Mavis before she turned down the hall that headed towards the women’s locker room. 

“Looks like you haven’t turned him down before.” He said trying to dig for information, but Mavis wasn’t going to speak on that at the moment. Instead she offered him a sweet smile, her hip leaning against the door to the locker room. He took a step forward, minimal space between them, and if he leaned in any closer he’d be able to kiss her nose. He’s had his fair share of entanglement with his other female colleagues, and he felt a though going down that road with Mavis may be a rocky one. He knew if he opened the door even just a crack, she’d flounce right on in with no problem. She was looking for the opportunity he could tell, but when LA Knights face flashed across his mind, Randy decided against it. He took a step back, she didn’t seem to notice the slight rejection from the way she continued to swoon.

“There’s a seafood restaurant downtown I like to go to called Fishbones…I’ll send you the address?” This time she held Randy’s gaze, a sensation of butterflies swirling in the pit of her stomach. His mouth turned upward into his classic smirk, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth. Mavis gripped the door handle in a poor attempt to contain herself. 

“See you in a few hours then.” She silently nodded, not trusting her voice, then disappeared behind the safety of the women’s locker room. 

[ethereal27cereal]

Lover’s Lake - Eddie Munson Plus Size Female Reader Series

series masterlist - part 5/?

summary: The long awaited beach day is finally here! You and Eddie spend a fun filled day in the sun, sharing bits and pieces about your pasts, and wind up thinking about the future together. 

warnings: Adult themes and content so MINORS DNI! mentions of previous smut and sexual experiences, use of the word fat (not used in a derogatory or bullying way), mentions of terminally ill parents, mention of childhood trauma (Eddie’s), let me know if I missed anything

genre: mostly fluff, mentions of smut

word count: 9.4K

author’s note: This took forever and a day to finally finish, but here we are. Thank you to all the lovely people who put up with me bitching and moaning through writing this part, I’m eternally grateful for your suggestions and support @boomhauer @kissmecaiti @wtf-lindsay @babys-interior I kind of left this one on a cliffhanger smut-wise because I didn’t want cram more in for what I have planned, but there will be some spicy stuff at the start of the next part, I promise. Any feedback or comments are always appreciated 💕

The porch light flickers overhead, casting dancing shadows across Eddie’s pale features as you lean in closer to his chest, both of you a bit unsure of how to proceed with goodbyes. Should you hug? A friendly wave? Would a kiss be too much? You stare up at him expectantly, absently licking your lips and hoping maybe he will get the hint.

His Adam's apple bobs as swallows a harsh gulp, clearly trying not to stare at your wet and inviting lips. The finger he has curled under your chin strokes a slow path along your jaw, trailing down the curve of your neck to rest tentatively on your shoulder. His plump lips quiver slightly, a silent question waiting on his tongue as he gives in and flicks his gaze down to your lips. 

Am I being a hypocrite if I kiss her right now? I just got done with saying how I didn’t want to end the date on a sexual note, but fuck me, those lips. I need to kiss them again. And Christ, they would look so good wrapped around my cock…shit shit shit, don’t think that. Fuck she’s staring at me. Say something, something normal!

“I like your shirt. It’s really soft,” Eddie blurts, rubbing his fingers against the soft jersey knit. That’s normal, right? Her shirt is nice, just don’t think about what she would look like taking it off…fuck. Get it together, Eddie. 

“Umm, thanks,” you smile shyly, bringing a tentative hand up to Eddie’s chest to trace a finger along the outline of the smiling devil on his Hellfire shirt.

“I’ll meet you at the lake at 2?” Eddie’s words come out as a nervous half statement, half question, focusing too much of his attention staring between your soft lips and your twinkling eyes and trying not to bash his head against the wall again as your fingers swirl absent patterns along his chest.

“2 sounds perfect…” you begin, trying to read into his warm brown eyes. 

“You can kiss me, you know. I promise I will keep my hands mostly to myself this time,” you suggest with a smirk, biting your lip and putting both hands up on his chest where he can see them and splaying your fingers out like you have nothing to hide. He blinks rapidly, a boyish grin spreading across his face before he leans in, lips so close to yours you can feel the flutter of his warm breath fanning across your cheeks. 

“If you’re sure you can behave yourself… I will do my best to be a gentleman because, god, I want to kiss you again,” he whispers, his bottom lip catching against yours with each drippingly sweet syllable. You nod and smile sheepishly, taking the opportunity to press your body flush against his. He stifles a groan and gives you a warning look, that you simply return with a flutter of your eyelashes and a pout of feigned innocence before capturing his lips against yours in a feathery soft kiss. 

His heart pounds in his chest, attempting futilely to keep the kiss gentle, but a lava begins rising in his belly when your tongue languidly sweeps against his bottom lip. His whole body tingles when he parts his lips to let you in, mouth filling with flames at each gentle explorative swipe of your tongue against his. In a moment of heated boldness, you crawl your fingers up his chest, lightly brushing over the delicate skin of his neck before tangling into the soft curls at the nape of his neck and giving a gentle tug. 

Something deeply carnal in him lurches to life and Eddie groans against your lips, gripping your waist a little too tightly when his knees nearly give out. Wildly unaware that you pulling on his hair could ever illicit that kind of overwhelmingly fiery feeling. The newly awakened molten beast inside him claws against his ribs, chest tightening, begging for you to do it again. 

Emboldened by his reaction, you repeat the motion, teasing your fingers into his scalp as you pull a little harder this time. His back arches instinctively, releasing a soft moan that you greedily swallow down, hungry for him to give you more. But your senses come back to you with sudden clarity. You’re meant to be behaving. Not inciting a riot of the senses with kisses and touches that make you both feel like ripping each other’s clothes off and fucking right on the front porch. 

With a sudden pop, you pull away from the kiss, knowing that if you stay there any longer you might find yourself back in the same situation you’d been in not more than twenty minutes ago. Fondling through thick denim, grabbing, groping, hasty in your race to the finish line. Old habits die hard apparently, especially when that’s what you’ve been told that’s all you’re good for. 

You release your hold on the back of his neck, offering a gentle pat pat to his chest before bouncing up the last step to the door. Eddie watches you glide away, collapsing back against the wall and bringing a sweaty palm up to his forehead. 

“Christ, that was um…thank you,” he mumbles, an adorably dazed and confused look glazing across his soft features. You giggle, fiddling your key into the large brass doorknob and turning back to face him, not quite sure what he is thanking you for, but feeling giddy from his response all the same.

“I’ll see you on Sunday at Lover’s Lake at 2,” you reiterate with a sweet smile, letting the heavy front door rest against your hip. 

“Sunday at 2, I’ll be there,” Eddie promises, shakily coming to a full stand and backing off the porch. “With a picnic basket in hand, dressed in my best swim trunks,” he adds excitedly, catching himself before he almost trips over a potted plant. 

“Good, I can’t wait,” you grin, suddenly feeling anxious about the fact that if Eddie is going to be in a swimsuit, that means he will see you in one too. 

“Me neither,” he admits, again narrowly dodging another terracotta pot as he takes a few more steps backwards down the path leading toward his van. 

“Goodnight, Eddie,” you giggle, slowly stepping inside the dark doorway. 

“Goodnight, Y/N, sweet dreams,” Eddie replies, offering a sweet wave before turning to walk the rest of the crushed gravel walkway. As you go to close the door, you catch him fist pumping the air, a whispered “yes” hissing through the silence of night as he reaches the front of his van. You can’t help but let out a laugh.Eddie whips around at the sound, a shy grin on his face. 

“Just pretend like you didn’t see that,” he assures, patting his hand definitively on the hood before shuffling backwards toward the driver’s side. 

“See what?” you shrug your shoulders innocently. He beams and points a knowing finger at you. “Goodnight, Eddie,” you repeat. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Eddie says, maybe a little too loudly before hopping into his van and rumbling down the quiet street. 

~*~

Everything about the guest room feels swelteringly warm and it’s making sleep impossible. You’ve already thrown off your sheets and stripped down to nothing but your underwear, but it still feels too hot. You toss and turn, trying to muster the energy to get up and open the window, but your body just sinks further into the mattress with exhaustion. Every other part of you feels physically ready to sleep, but your mind is buzzing. Maybe from the heat, but mostly from the constant whirring thoughts about Eddie and everything that has transpired in just a few short days, completely altering the entire trajectory of your summer. 

When you had agreed to come stay with Holly, you weren’t really sure what to expect. You’d known some of your time would probably be spent helping out around the house and taking care of things. Since Holly’s father had been admitted to the hospital with his health taking a serious turn for the worse, Holly’s mother, Jen, had become a bit of an emotional wreck and that left Holly alone to pick up the pieces. So you tagged along blindly, helping Holly make sense of everything while still hoping for some time to catch up on a few books, see a few movies if there was a local theater, and just experience the slow down of a small town summer. 

Not in your wildest dreams did you expect to meet someone like Eddie. Charming, mysterious, boyishly handsome with an endearing honesty that knocked the wind out of you sometimes. With his sweet, albeit slightly daunting and unfamiliar words from just a few hours prior rolling around in your head, a relationship with you, you’re trying not to get carried away with fantasies about what the rest of the summer with him could be like. The rational part of your brain is screaming, balking at the fact that you’ve only known him for only two damn days and that he still could just be playing you for a fool. But the soft gentle place deep inside your heart that has been told to be quiet for so long is set to burst with all of the potential romantic dates and outings you might get to experience for the first time with Eddie. 

Shaken from your thoughts by the uncomfortable beads of sweat forming on your chest, you get up to open the window, hoping for a little bit of cross breeze when you hear someone slowly stomping up the stairs. The house had been quiet and dark when you’d come in, no sign of either Jen or Holly’s return and you’d figured with it now being 3 a.m. that they were probably both staying out for the remainder of the night. You suddenly begin to fear the worst, panic rising in your throat as you throw on your sleep shirt and grab the heaviest book you can find as a makeshift weapon, ready to leap on the intruder as soon as they make it to the top of the stairs. 

You crack open the door, eyes blinking rapidly in your struggle to adjust to the darkness as you direct your gaze to the figure coming up the stairs. Just as their foot hits the top step, you throw yourself into the hallway, waving your hardcover copy of Lord of the Rings wildly above your head, prepared to bash the intruder with a book, brilliant plan. 

“I have a really heavy book and I’m not afraid to use it!” you yelp in warning just as the intruder lets out a very familiar sounding scream and trips forward into the hallway, knocking you down along with them. You fumble around on the floor before hopping up quickly and flicking on the hall light. 

“Holly?” you splutter, looking down at the girl still struggling to stand up, a hiccupy mixture of laughter and tears bubbling out of her. You reach down to offer her your her hand, dropping the book to the carpet near your feet with a gentle thud

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, you scared the shit outta me,” Holly wheezes, gripping your hand tightly as she brings herself to a wobbly stand. She shakes her head as she clutches her stomach, finally catching her breath again. “What was your plan there? You were going to knock me out and then what, read me a little bedtime story of Lord of the Rings?,” she lets out another strangled giggle. 

“No, I mean yes, but I thought you were someone trying to break in. I didn’t really have time to think of a plan, so I figured a nice heavy whack to the head with a book would at least buy me a little time. You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were staying at Theo’s for the night,” you explain with a huff. 

“I was going to, but I don’t know, he snores super loud and I couldn’t sleep, so I just drove myself home,” she admits quietly. “I’m sorry it’s so late. Did I wake you up?” 

“No, I couldn’t sleep either. I was too hot. I’m sorry I threatened you with a book and I’m sorry I scared you,” you apologize, hoping Holly may have some newly acquired mind reading capabilities to know that you’re also a little sorry for how nasty you got with her the other day about everything. She is not completely off scott free, but you decide it would probably hurt less to let go of some of her misgivings rather than give up the only real friend you have. 

“I’m sorry I scared you too. And I’m sorry if I overstepped a boundary in our friendship the other day with what I said. I want you to be happy, but when you call yourself fat and keep letting all these garbage men use you and toss you aside for just sex, it makes me angry and I worry about you,” Holly replies as if honing in on some clairvoyant powers, letting everything spill out at once before bringing her thumb to her lips and gnawing on the reddened flesh. 

“But, Holly, I am fat,” you begin, giving her a look of disgusted speculation before she interjects.

“No you’re not, you’re beautiful,” she insists.

“Holly, I’m fat. But fat and ugly are not synonymous. I can be both fat and beautiful at the same time, one does not define the other. It’s not always been easy to see it that way, but it’s true, and I’m genuinely trying to see that more about myself,” you impart, trying not to sound as bitter and jaded as you feel. The nagging voice inside you bites and screams at this positive revelation, trying to conjure up other ways to take you down, but you hold your ground. 

“I guess I’ve just always heard it as a negative. I know words can hurt and I guess I just thought I was being helpful by glossing it over and avoiding talks about your weight, but I can see how that isn’t really very validating either. I fully admit that I don’t understand it, I don’t really think I ever really will fully be able to, so just tell me what I can do to be supportive and I will do it,” Holly clarifies hurriedly, pausing her incessant chewing on her thumb to gauge your expression. 

You swallow harshly, bile and the bitter sting of jealousy burning your throat on the way down. Holly really would never get it. And maybe that is okay, but it still hurts. She has never had an excess pound of flesh on her in her life and she always has a steady stream of men begging for her attention. Not just for sex, but for romance and relationships and real love. She gets flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s day, gets taken out for fancy dinners, and she gets told she’s beautiful and there’s not even a ‘but’ to follow it up. 

Holly has the choice of whether she wants to have men for just wild random sex or for a meaningful romantic relationship. She’d had several opportunities to settle into something real with several excruciatingly nice guys, an opportunity you would’ve leapt at, but she decided to turn it down in favor of sampling all her options, just because she could. She accuses you of choosing trash men, but she does not have a perfect track record of picking winners every time either. She has dated and slept around with her fair share of losers, but maybe the fact that she can bag Prince Charming tomorrow if she wanted makes it more okay for her to do so. She is always treated as a priority, never an option. And that’s just a possibility you have a hard time fathoming for yourself.  

Your feelings for Holly always mingle somewhere between heartfelt admiration and intense loathing. She’s the best friend you’ve ever had and know that she would do just about anything in the world for you and you would do the same for her, but it will most likely be a cold day in hell before the creeping green glow of jealous doesn’t flicker behind your eyes every time you see another pitiful man fall for her waifish charm. 

“I don’t really know what to say, or how to say it,” you begin, still unsure of just how to get past apologies, but the unwelcome tears of frustration welling in your throat have you wishing you could just get through a difficult conversation without crying for once.

“And I hate to admit it,” you try again, sputtering out a wet laugh and shaking your head. “But you were right about a lot of it, everything you said before. I have let some really trash men into my life because that is what I thought I deserved. And then when I realized that even though they didn’t really like me, they liked having sex with me, I felt like that was what I was supposed to do,” you explain, deciding it is a better route to admit your wrongs and start fresh rather than hold on to bitterness. A choked sob slips from your lips, echoing through the dimly lit hallway and Holly reaches out tentatively to pat your shoulder, a silent expression of concern pinched on her soft features. 

“It’s proving to be kind of a hard habit to break. The whole ‘men only want me for sex so find the fastest way into their pants’. It kind of bit me in the butt tonight. But I’m really trying to have it be different this time,” you shrug and sniffle, biting at your lip to keep more tears from coming. 

“What do you mean ‘different this time’?” Holly ponders. You collect yourself with a deep breath, attempting to put the right words together to explain how things were going with Eddie without sounding horribly cliche. 

“With Eddie, I mean. It just feels different. Probably because he is different,” you sigh and shrug again, cringing a little at just how trite you must sound, “ I’m still trying to get used to him saying nice things and seemingly meaning them without any ulterior motives. But tonight he told me that he wanted more than just sex,” you admit softly, leaning against the wall as a sudden weight feels like it is lifted off of you. 

“So more than just sex, as in anal sex. Damn, I knew that boy would be freaky,” Holly deadpans, snapping her fingers and ribbing your side playfully. 

“Jesus, Holly,” you mutter, bringing your palm up to cover your face, hiding the involuntary grin that is taking over your features. It feels nice, nice to tell her these things again, and you feel your cheeks twinge from the strain of smiling so hard. 

“Seriously though, that’s like a really big deal,” she replies calmly, even though she looks like she’s about to burst at the seams with pent up questions she’s just dying to ask. 

“Go ahead, I can tell you have lots more you want to say or ask so just hit me with it,” you retort and she jumps up and down with delight, letting out a little girlish squeal as she grabs both your shoulders tightly. 

“Oh my god, okay, yes. First let me get out of these stupid shoes and we can get more comfortable. Sleepover in my room?,” she babbles, chewing her lip nervously with her final suggestion. You nod with a smile and follow her eagerly as she bounds into her dark room, lacy shadows etching the cotton candy pink walls when she flicks on her bedside lamp.

Immediately toeing off her shoes and shrugging off every layer, Holly slips a thin frilly nightgown over her head and leaps onto the bed, always seemingly unfazed by getting undressed in front of you. Trying to be just as unfazed by the unfamiliar sisterly intimacy, you tug at the hem of your well worn sleep shirt, pulling it down to cover the thick expanse of your soft thighs as Holly burrows under the covers and pats the spot next to her for you to hop in. 

With her pleadingly gentle eyes, Holly asks you to tell her everything you’re willing to share.So you tell her. Everything. Every stupid little detail from every last minute with Eddie comes pouring out of your mouth, things you didn’t even know you have been feeling, all spilling out of you in a babbling rush. How Eddie wants to be in a relationship. How you’ve invited him to Lover’s Lake, and how you are a little nervous about him seeing you in your swimsuit, but you’re beyond excited to spend the day with him. You fully allow yourself to gush about him freely, without indulging the fears that swirl in the pit of your belly, silencing the creeping crawling voice inside your head that only wants to make you feel small. 

You tell Holly everything that’s been weighing on your mind until you’re practically blue in the face and the pinky yellow hues of sunrise are streaming in through the curtains. And she listens. Doesn’t pass judgment or offer many opinions, but wholeheartedly listens. Waiting with bated breath for each new detail that you reveal and trying to stifle her yawns when her bedroom bursts with glittery rays of light. For fear of waxing poetic and getting ahead of yourself, you try to ignore all of the overlapping metaphors of a new dawn with your new sense of self, and settle into a deep sleep as the sun bathes the room in a soft warm glow. 

~*~

It’s 2:25, actually 2:28 because your watch runs slow. But either way Eddie is late, and you are trying not to work yourself into a tizzy about it. You attempt to focus your attention on reading The Princess Bride again, pages roughly curled back under your fingers as you tug the oversized beach towel around your shoulders tighter, but your eyes keep flicking up to scan the clearing in the trees that has been made into a makeshift parking area for any sign of Eddie’s van. 

Lover’s Lake beach isn’t really much of a beach, rather just a thin stretch of pebbled shoreline where the trees don’t grow as thickly. Summertime sunshine packs the little oasis with families, teens, and everyone in between, all looking to escape some of the heat without the chemical chlorine burn of the local swimming pool. On your previous visits to the lake, you’ve always opted for a more secluded area of the shore, trekking through trees until you find a nice rocky outcropping to settle on and occasionally dipping a toe or two into the water. 

But today, Holly insisted on getting to the beach early, claiming she wanted to get a good spot and didn’t want to do your usual hike through the woods to find one. So you’ve been sitting alone for nearly an hour, trying to tune out the incessant giggling as Holly fawns over Theo’s exceptionally bronzed and hairy six pack. He’s been playing a game of tossing her into the water for the last 20 minutes, and you swear if you have to hear another one of her girlishly playful protests you’re going to drown them both. 

Shortly after arriving, you had been a little too eager to strip off your cover-up shirt and shorts, thinking you might get a touch of sun before Eddie arrives, but the small beach is a little too crowded and you don’t feel like making comparisons with all the other well-tanned and toned bodies lounging around in the sunshine. So instead you curl up on a blanket, cocoon yourself in terry cloth, frumping as you read, despite the gloriously sweet scene between Buttercup and the man in black unfolding before your eyes. 

The man in black has just revealed himself to be Buttercup’s long lost farm boy, Westley, and they are about to enter the Fire Swamp, but all you can think about is the very real possibility that Eddie has stood you up. He was early when he’d picked you up for Hellfire, and you had reminded him at least twice that you would be meeting at 2, so where the hell is he?

You groan and try to focus harder on the words on the page, if you can’t have romance then at least Buttercup gets to. You’re so focused on focusing that you don’t even hear the gentle shuffle of pebbles on dirt as someone approaches your cozy beach set up. 

“As you wish. Such a great book,” his soft lilting words shake you from your concentration as you look up to see Eddie, offering a soft smile and a stilted wave as he proudly displays a rather sizable picnic basket, precariously balancing a small cooler against his hip. You try to smile back, but your frustration at his tardiness must be evident as his smile fades and he tugs his bottom lip anxiously between his teeth. 

“I’m really fucking sorry I’m so late, sweetheart. I had everything all set up and then forgot that I don’t own anything even remotely close to a bathing suit, so I had to borrow one from my buddy, Steve, and well…” he trails off, slowly moving aside the picnic basket to reveal what you can only imagine was his last possible resort for swimwear. 

Eddie is wearing a blindingly bright pair of swim trunks that only go down to his mid thigh, leaving a rather shocking amount of his pale hairy legs exposed. A chaotic splattering of neon pink, green, and orange shapes fight for space on the black polyester fabric, a blur of triangles, trapezoids, and other shapes you can’t possibly recall from 10th grade geometry. It’s the type of design that will make you dizzy if you look at it for too long, but it’s incredibly hard not to stare. You attempt to focus on the pops of light pink squiggles that overlap the shapes like little bits of confetti, but you find your gaze darting up and down the expanse of his legs, a little too eagerly soaking in the sight of all of his newly exposed skin. Eddie shifts uncomfortably in front of you, and clears his throat. 

“We have very different styles, my friend Steve and I,” he mutters shyly, setting down the picnic basket and cooler but still hesitantly standing in front of you. 

“Well I think you and Steve should swap clothes more often, I think you’re rocking that look. It’s a bit confusing with the Black Sabbath tee, but you pull it off,” you wink, all of your resentment about his lateness fading away. 

“Oh yeah? I’m glad you like it,” he replies weakly, cheeks flushing pink with the compliment. He glances down at your towel shrouded frame, saying nothing, but smirking when he sees you start to shrug the towel off your shoulders and scoot over to make room for him on the blanket. He silently sits down cross legged next to you and begins to open the picnic basket. 

For a man who looks like he sustains himself on microwave meals, gas station hot dogs, and most likely toxic amounts of Mtn Dew, Eddie has put a surprising amount of effort into packing and preparing this kind of spread. He pulls out a small stack of individually bagged sandwiches, each of them delicately sliced along the diagonal with little peeks of various fillings spilling out. Next, he displays an array of chip varieties. Classic Lays, Doritos, and salt and vinegar in a neat row with their foil packaging reflecting in the sunshine as he moves on to unpack a few assorted bundles of fruit and other various snacks. He pops open the cooler to reveal layers of soda, ice, and beer, the cans already beginning to bead with condensation. 

You give him a look of astonishment, trying not to get emotional over how much thought he has clearly put into all of this. He catches your eye and shrugs, mumbling something about how he didn’t know what everyone would want so he just went all out. Eddie settles himself into the blanket further and tugs his shirt off over his head to reveal more of his pale skin. Quickly trying to memorize every freckle, scar, and tattoo scattered across his chest, your eyes flit across his alabaster torso, picking up on details that you couldn’t make out before in the darkness of the back of his van. Sinewy muscles flex as he leans over to collect the assortment of sandwiches in his large palms, holding them up to you in a display against his solid chest. 

“I have peanut butter and jelly, ham and cheese, tuna salad, and turkey,” Eddie’s voice thick and deep as he catches your roving eyes in his soft brown ones. You select the peanut butter and jelly and he chooses the ham and cheese, wasting no time ripping into the salt and vinegar chips and adding a layer of the chips to his sandwich. You tentatively bite into your sandwich, not bothering to wait for Holly and Theo to join in on the picnic while it’s fresh since they seem to be in a world of their own. Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth, gumming up your words as you look over at him in speculation at his interesting sandwich creation.

“Is that good?,” you scrutinize, swallowing down the thick glob of sandwich before speaking. 

“It’s really good, you wanna try?” he replies, cheeks full of food as he eagerly waves the sandwich over to you. You politely decline, preferring to keep your chips entirely separate from your sandwich. You both enjoy the picnic spread in relative silence, offering a few bits of small talk here and there with how he spent the rest of his work week and what you have been getting up to in your spare time. 

“So The Princess Bride, I’ve read that book about a million times. Did you know they’re making a movie based on it? It’s supposed to come out this September,” Eddie inhales the last bite of his second sandwich and taps at the tattered cover of the book sitting next to your thigh. 

“It’s probably one of my favorite books. I’m excited to see how they’re able to bring it to life on screen,” you share, trying not to sound too over eager about this new found shared interest with Eddie. You polish off the last handful of your Doritos, dusting the red remnants off your fingers before taking a swig of ice cold soda, bubbles and emotions fizzing down your throat. 

“We should go and see it together, when it comes out,” he suggests, slowly glancing up at you and then busying himself with packing away the rest of the picnic lunch so it stays fresh for Holly and Theo. 

“But by September, I’ll be back in Indianapolis, at college,” you reply gloomily. You have been trying to have a positive spin on this whole summer relationship thing, but the reality is that in about two months' time, you will be back to the drudgery of regular life and Eddie will stay here in Hawkins. 

“I will come and visit you then. Take you out on a nice date to some fancy big city theater and we can make a weekend out of it,” the words and ideas tumble out of Eddie’s mouth before he has a chance to catch them. He immediately looks down at his neon swim trunks, tugging at the drawstrings and hoping he hasn’t just scared you off as one of his fantasies of a future with you slips out. 

He means what he says with all his heart, but he’s having a hard time figuring out if you feel the same way. Eddie feels constantly baffled by your desire to get into his pants, not that it’s an inherently bad thing, but he’s worried he will only end up disappointing you. His efforts to slow things down, though coming from a genuine desire to form a real connection with you, stem from deeper fears of inadequacy than even he would like to admit. He knows as soon as he has the opportunity to bury his cock deep inside you, he will be too far gone in his feelings for you, making it even harder to let you go when you inevitably get tired of him. All that compounded on the fact that he’s not even sure his 30 second fumble in the front seat of his van with an overzealous groupie even counted as a real first time. Was it really losing his virginity if he was too terrified and high to come? He doesn’t know the answer to that question, or how to feel about how he stole your panties like a truly sex-starved virgin and then jacked off to them, just further solidifying the pervy behavior. These thoughts rattle around his brain and leave his insides doing knots, making it so each new moment with you feels like he is well beyond his depth. 

From the brief allusions you’ve made to past relationships and your seemingly open forwardness, he assumes your sexual experience is vast miles beyond his, a daunting possibility that has him over analyzing his every move. The other night in his van was only the third time he has ever done anything like that, his efforts to be smooth and experienced coming out as silly one liners and what he was sure was desperation, begging for cuddles post orgasm. Since then, he’s been fighting the urge not to pop a boner if you even look at him, feeling so needy for touch that he has to steady himself from passing out whenever you so much as brush your hand against his. A battle between his sexual and romantic inexperience and his ever present self-loathing rages on his mind, and he doesn’t hear you the first few times you try to get his attention back. 

“Eddie? Did you hear me?,” you interject his thoughts and he snaps out of his reverie to see your soft face peering over at him. 

“Sorry, my brain croaked for a second. What’d you say?,” Eddie shakes his head and smiles, trying to bite down his nervousness as he waits for the answer to his suggestion of a fall weekend together. 

“I said I would really like that. Having you come to visit and seeing the movie with you, that would be really nice,” you answer shyly. You would be lying if the promise of seeing him through September didn’t make your brain go haywire, but you are trying to play it cool and casual, as casual as someone can be who feels like they’re on fire. 

He grins and looks down, clearly lost in his own thoughts again. As he focuses on the dizzying pattern on his shorts, you find your eyes studying over his frame again. Memorizing the soft frizzy curls that cling to the back of his neck, the light dusting of freckles that dot along his shoulder blades, inky creatures you hadn’t noticed before traced in delicate lines over the expanse of his back and sides. You notice along the peaks of his shoulders, down the length of his arms, and the bridge of his nose are no longer the glowing pale white they were when he arrived, but rather a glaring angry red as the sun beats down on his exposed flesh. 

“Eddie, did you put on any sunscreen before you came?,” you quiz gently, reaching out to feel the burning warmth of his bicep under your fingers. He shakes his head and studies your expression. 

“No, I don’t even think I own sunscreen. I don’t see the sun very often, as you can tell,” he holds up his arm and glances down at the fiery red skin, muttering an ‘oh shit’ as he discovers just how burned he is getting. You quickly rummage into your bag and grab out the sunscreen, figuring that while it might not be of much use now, it will at least keep the still pale parts of him from getting scorched. You shrug your protective towel around your shoulders and position yourself behind him.

“You’re turning into a lobster, here let me help,” you offer, squeezing the white lotion into your palm and rubbing your hands together. He shivers as you begin to rub in the thick, cool lotion, carefully brushing his hair out of the way before smoothing circles over the angry skin on his shoulders and covering every inch of his back. You shuffle around to kneel in front of him, squirting more lotion into your hand. He sits up on his knees cautiously to expose more of himself, tilting his chin up and holding in a shaky breath as you rub the lotion down his arms. You push his curls back and begin a steady path over his shoulders and down onto his chest, rubbing in the lotion there and moving south to cover the soft expanse of his belly. He inhales sharply when your fingertips trail down along the waistband of his swim shorts, and you take a moment to look up at his face, only to see his eyes squeezed shut and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. 

“You look like I’m torturing you. Everything alright?,” you pause your movement, letting your fingers hover over the flaming sword tattooed on his hip. He gulps and opens his eyes, pupils dilated to wide inky pools as he stares back at you. 

“I’m good, great. It’s just…cold,” he insists, offering a halfhearted thumbs up and trying to steady his breathing. He shouldn’t be this worked up over you rubbing sunscreen all over him, but the fantasies are running rampant in his mind and before he even has a chance to think of something else, his dick is solid as a rock and throbbing against the constricting mesh lining of the swim shorts. 

“”You almost done?” he asks with a wince as you press your palm fully against his hip to rub in the chalky streaks you’d left behind. You hide a smirk when you glance down to his lap, not sure if it was the pattern playing tricks on your eyes or if you saw the hard outline of his cock twitch against the fabric.  

“Almost done, let me just get your cheeks and nose,” you giggle, smearing a small glob of lotion on your fingertips and bringing it up to his face. If he looked like he was being tortured before, he looks as though he’s being full on dismembered now. He scrunches his face in a horrible grimace and automatically flinches away from your touch as your fingers dot against the apples of his cheeks, trying to rub in the lotion despite the hard lines and creases his pinched expression is causing.

“Try to relax a little bit though. If I can’t rub it in well you won’t be a lobster anymore, but you’ll end up looking like Casper the friendly ghost,” you warn, and he grins, more wrinkles forming on his face before he lets out a puff of warm air and tries to calm his features. With his cooperation, you quickly rub in the rest of the white smears across his cheeks and smoothe down the strong line of his nose before giving it a little boop as you finish.

“There, all done. We just have to wait a little before getting in the water for it to soak in,” you settle back into your spot on the blankets and wrap the towel back around your shoulder again, still not ready to show off the full glory of your swimsuit until you are able to quickly disappear into the water. 

Eddie finally opens his eyes and turns to give you a dramatically pained look before taking a long swig from his soda and staring off over the water. You’re both silent for a moment, watching the gentle lapping waves on the shore, until with a burst of jumbled words, you both try to speak at the same time. You both politely encourage the other to speak first, his long fingers tucking a curl of hair over his chin to hide the flushing heat rising in his cheeks.

“I was just going to ask if you’d been to the beach a lot when you were a kid, since you grew up here. What were you going to say?,” you ask shyly. Eddie’s lips press together in a thin line, as if debating the question he’s going to answer first before speaking. 

“I was going to say did you know that most lobsters are actually brown, orange, or blue and it’s the boiling process when we cook them that breaks down their hard outer shell and leaves just their red skin showing,” he blurts, diverting entirely from your question, and from his own original thought as well. He was going to say what a nice time he is having spending the day with you, despite his own skin boiling like a lobster’s and being slathered in chalky sunscreen, but that sounded lame the more it swirled around in his brain, and he didn’t even know where to begin with your question. 

Sure, sometimes I came out here as a kid when my dad got too drunk and violent to be around and my mom was too sick to get out of bed and do anything about it. So yeah, loads of happy lakeside childhood memories to share. Nope, not on the third date at least. Since he couldn’t share all that, the first thought that pops into his head is a benign memorized fact. He has several just like it for moments like these in particular, he’s learned it’s better to baffle with bullshit and divert away from the hard questions rather than share things that might leave him feeling a little too vulnerable, might make cracks in the hard exterior he’s worked years to build. 

“And are you like the lobster in this scenario? Your pasty white outer shell being boiled away by the sun to reveal soft squishy red skin,” you tease and poke your finger into the ticklish flesh at his ribs, hardly missing a beat with his off the wall remark and quickly deciding against pressing him to answer your initial question. 

“I mean, sure, if you want to get all metaphorical with it, I was purely just filling you in on some interesting marine creature facts, princess,” he replies with a wheezing giggle as he dodges away from your wiggling fingers that are going back in to tickle more. 

“I’m feeling like I’m about to cook like a lobster too, you ready to get in the water?” you emphasize your point by fanning a hand in front of your face, dramatically letting it fall to rest on his bare knee. He nods in agreement and quickly hops up from his spot 

With a shaky deep breath, you stand up from the blankets, letting the towel fall at your feet in a more dramatic reveal than you intend, but all the same garnering an appreciative gasp that Eddie tries to cover with a forced cough. You fight the urge to wrap your arms around yourself to hide all the ripples and rolls you’re sure are highlighted through the thin spandex as his eyes rake over your body, a dumbfounded look twinkling in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“My god, you look amazing. You look beautiful...that swimsuit..it..just…wow,” he rambles, nodding vigorously and puffing out his cheeks as he lets a thin stream of air fizz out of his pink lips. 

You smirk in reply, feeling a heat rise to your cheeks as you smooth out the delicate layers of ruffles that cascade down vertically from the deep v neckline, clearly some designer’s futile attempt at creating slimming angles in addition to the all over black color of the suit. It isn’t the worst bathing suit on the market for larger bodies, but it certainly isn’t the fashionable high cut red bikini that Holly is sporting. The plunging neckline does wonders at enhancing your already ample chest, and the ruffles actually do a little something to accentuate your waist, but it still feels utterly too exposing, even in front of a man who has already seen you naked. 

“Ready?,” you raise your eyebrows in question and nod towards the water. 

He nods, smiling dumbly and pulling his gaze away from your breasts. Before giving him a chance to reply, you dart off towards the water, shouting a teasing “race ya” behind you as you crash into the cool lake. You wade backwards into the shallows, watching as Eddie frantically kicks off his shoes and nearly falls on his face as he hops on one foot to yank off his socks. Finally just in his swim trunks, he scurries in after you, quickly catching up to your slow drifting pace into deeper water. 

“Hey! Not fair, you were already completely undressed and had a head start,” giving an exaggerated pout before grabbing onto your waist to gently tug you back to him. Your feet shuffle on the silty lake bottom and you press against his chest.

“Fine, fine. We can do another race then. I will race you to the jetty out there,” you resign with a smirk, pointing off to the floating dock that’s bobbing up and down about 100 meters in the distance. 

“Unless you’re feeling particularly inclined to give me CPR today, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Eddie chuckles lightly, but a look of panic that flashes in his eyes tells a different story. 

“Alright, I won’t use CPR as an excuse to kiss you then. I’ll do it just because I want to,” you giggle, moving slowly against the weight of the water to place a chaste featherlight kiss to his soft mouth.Your lips hover tentatively in the wake of his warm breath, waiting to see if he will come back in for more. With a soft moan, Eddie’s lips meet yours again in a deeper, hungrier kiss. His large hands squeeze at your hips as he nibbles gently on your bottom lip, your bodies slowly rocking with the motion of the current. He releases your mouth slowly and leans his forehead against yours, a million thoughts racing through his head, but none of them coming to the surface. 

He silently pulls away, fearing that if he looks into your eyes any longer he will most certainly spill way too much information. About how silly he feels for missing your kisses after just two days apart, about how he’d let you drown him a thousand times over if he got to wake up to your lips against his. Much too much too fast, so he says nothing, opting to hold your hand gently in his and tiptoe deeper into the water. 

“Do you not know how to swim, or is this one of the areas that Eddie Munson is not naturally talented in?,” your voice soft as it breaks the silence, licking your lips as you manage to catch your breath again. 

You turn to wade backwards slightly a step ahead of him to test out the depths, still holding on to his calloused hand as the water level rises higher up your chest with each step. You take a step backwards and suddenly feel nothing beneath your feet, finally reaching the plateau of where the sloping shallows become drastic depths. Bobbing on your tiptoes quickly to keep yourself from going under, you press against Eddie’s chest to stop him. 

“I know the basics, I guess. I, uh, didn’t exactly learn how to swim in a conventional way,” Eddie remarks, settling lower in the water so it tickles the tips of his curls as he thinks back. His eyebrows knit together for a moment, like he’s remembering something unpleasant before his features smoothe over again into a soft, yet sad, smile. Despite how open he has been with most things, Eddie hasn’t shared much about his past. He has let a few vague stories about his Uncle Wayne slip out, but he’s made no mention of any other important figures in his past or present besides the few friends you had met during Hellfire club, and you are unsure if now is the time to probe into that. 

“So how did you, or um, who taught you how to swim?” you ask cautiously, attempting to gauge his expression for any hint of discomfort, but he’s unreadable. 

 “My dad used to come out here at night to get.. uh…to fish off one of his buddy's boats. He took me out with him one time when I was about 7 or 8, super late at night, he was already…well he uh…he was already in fine spirits before we even got out on the water. We weren’t catching anything and he thought it would be funny if he tossed me into the water and told me to swim back to shore as fast as I could,” he filters out some of the unsavory details and pauses for a moment to look up into your eyes, his soft features clenched into a firm expression.

“I’d only been to the pool maybe once or twice, and never had a swim lesson before, but I made it about a good 10 yards before I started swallowing a bunch of water,” he gulps slowly, as if recalling the cold wet feeling of water filling his lungs. 

“Did he actually make you swim all the way back to shore?,” you wonder softly, squeezing onto his fingers a little tighter than you mean to. 

“No, he let me flail around for a little bit though before he came and hauled me out. So that’s how I learned to swim,” Eddie replies with a passive shrug. He looks down into the water where your fingers intertwined with his, an unexpected smile creeping across his face. With a dramatic flourish, he rolls his eyes back in his head, crashing backwards with a splash before disappearing below the water. 

Bubbles rise to the surface as you wait for him to come back up. By now you’re at least a little familiar with his desire for drama, and this showing seems in line with his behavior, although strangely timed with his previous swimming horror story, but you’re not too worried. Seconds begin to tick by and he slowly releases your hand that he’d been holding, panic suddenly surges through your system as you reach down into the water to yank him back up, completely dead weight as you hold him in your arms. 

“Eddie? Eddie!” you gently pat at his expressionless cheeks, hoping for some kind of response but he gives you nothing. You offer another few frantic taps to his cheeks and chest before Eddie abruptly comes to life, eyes flashing open as he shouts an excited boo. In an instant of sheer frustration and fear that you can’t seem to control, you flail your arms out at him, striking against any part of him that you can reach before he quickly sinks away, hands raised in defense. You stop your assault when he’s out of arm’s reach, uncontrollable tears beginning to stream down your cheeks. 

He laughs playfully as he approaches you again, thinking that he’s just played a harmless little prank until he sees the way you’re visibly shaking in the water. You’re gulping for air as you fight your natural response to being scared, which is always to cry. 

“Oh shit, Y/N, I’m sorry,” Eddie begins before you cut him off.

“You jerk, what the hell was that?,” you croak, futilely wiping away tears with already wet hands. 

“I’m so sorry. I thought you would think it was funny, with the whole CPR jokes and me being a bad swimmer, I thought maybe you’d give me mouth to mouth and then we’d laugh and…,” he explains, terror streaking across his face now as he realizes what a mistake he’s made. 

“Well it would’ve been a whole lot funnier if I didn’t legitimately think you were drowning,” you scoff and try to collect yourself. 

“Huge oversight on my part, sweetheart. I’m really really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you? Can I give you a hug? God, I’m batting 2 for 3 on making you cry during our dates, maybe I can make it up to by letting you drown me,” he babbles profusely, shaking out his wet curls and inching closer to you in the water. 

“I should’ve taken another step back there and dragged you into the depths with me,” you threaten with a chuckle, voice still watery as you stretch your arms out silently for a hug. He immediately scoops you up into his strong arms, wrapping you up tightly and whispering more apologizes into the crook of your neck. “And for future reference, I hate being scared and will slap, kick, and flail to get away from whatever is scaring me, even if it’s you,” you murmur against his collarbone, offering him a warning bite to the tender flesh there.

“Ow, I totally deserved that. And that fact is most definitely noted, no more jump scares, pinky promise,” he pulls away slightly from the hug to wiggle his long pinky in between your chests, you loop your smaller pinky in his, sealing the promise with a soft kiss. 

~*~

The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blissful blur. Cool water ripples over your bodies as you splash and play in the waves, clinging tightly to one another to catch your breaths before floating aimlessly through the lake in a tangle of wet kisses and grasping limbs. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Holly and Theo packing up their things and leaving the shore. You offer them a wave, but you’re still not ready to leave the warm comforting oasis you’ve found in Eddie’s arms. 

With a great deal of sugared words and convincing, you try to teach Eddie how to tread water at the edge of the drop off. He insists you hold on tightly to his arm to offer support, and you praise the little splashing kicks he makes as he flails them under the water, though he would probably have more success if your usual riding a bike analogy worked since he doesn’t know how to do that either. Despite your best efforts, your teasing payback for his earlier stunt in the form of stories about lake monsters and comments about the murkiness of the water have him leaping back to the safety of where his feet touch the bottom when a bit of driftwood touches his toe. 

In the blink of an eye, the evening sun begins to cast slanting shadows along the shoreline, signaling that it might be finally time to get out of the water. With pruney fingers and aching cheeks from all the smiling, you and Eddie trudge out of the water just in time to watch the sun dip down below the tree line. 

“I know it’s already been a long day, but I’m not ready for it to be over yet,” Eddie begins with a shy smile, picking up his watch from the pile of his belongings and then looking back up at you with hopeful doe eyes. You reply with the same sentiment, but you don’t want to suggest anything that might be considered too pushy or forward. 

“We could go park somewhere again,” he offers, seeing the smirk forming on your lips and immediately backpedaling. “It’s just, most places aren’t open past 9, and so… It doesn’t have to lead to anything, just want to be clear with that. But we could talk more, cuddle, make out a little, but we don’t even have to do that if you don’t want to,” he rambles, word vomit making his tongue tangle as he over explains himself. 

“That sounds great, Eddie,” you reply simply, finding it sweet just how concerned he is with making sure you feel comfortable in whatever situation you’re in together, definitely a foreign but welcome feeling. Eddie helps you gather up the remains of the picnic and the rest of your belongings, practically shaking with nervous energy as he leads you over the pebbled shoreline to his van that’s tucked between the trees.

Taglist: @boomhauer @wtf-lindsay @littledemondani @seidenbros @wroteclassicaly @churchmuffins @aftermidnightwriting @tayhar811 @eddiethesexy @thatsonezesty13 @hellv1ra @lacyrmosa-24 @halialex1119 @e0509 @a-time-for-wolvess @erinsingalong @warmaidensrevenge @natalielbeauty @fandomohana @bebe0701 @chickpeadumpsterfire @sillypurplemurple @renaroo123 @nackrosor @babys-interior @sammararaven @justwant2read8421 @b-irock @the-witty-pen-name @strangerthings1983fan @thecallofcunthulhu  @eddies-hid3out @princess-eddie​ @readsalot73​ @chaoticaptendyte @rockautumnfanfic​ @ashonyx88​ @briasnow-blog @eddiemunson95​​

If your name is crossed off, I wasn’t able to tag you for some reason. Send me an ask or a comment if you’d like to be added to the taglist 💜

[imperial-topaz2003]

Imperial-Topaz ranks SWTOR Romances

To mark my return, I decided to do a SWTOR ranking, this time with the romances. I'm gonna stick with just vanilla ones for now, and do expansions at a later time. Also, I'm not doing any of the 'one-shot' romances, or I'll be here till the next century. Again, this is just my opinion, let me know what you think on these romances in the comments or reblogs. Anyway, this is gonna be a chonkey one, so let's get into it.

19. Kaylio Djannis

What a surprise. Anyway, she's down here for one reason in particular. She's literally the only romance option that fucking cucks you.

Yup. Honestly, Kaliyo is such an unlikable piece of shit. She trash talks you even if you're flirting with her and probably doesn't see you as anything more than a one night stand. I don't wanna look at this bitch no more. Next! 18. Doc

Yeah, you know how I feel about Doc already. The walking sexual harassment lawsuit who can't take 'no' for an answer. If you're a female knight who doesn't want to romance him (or at least wants to take things easy and not rush), you're in for an uncomfortable time. But what if you're into his flirts and return them? Is the relationship a bit healthier? I suppose, but his attitude makes it hard for me to take his commitment seriously. I just have this feeling that he'll run off to bang a hotter chick if given the opportunity. I mean, he already fled a wedding once.

So yeah, fuck Doc and his ugly ass crowbar mustache. 17. Nadia Grell

Before you crucify me, I like Nadia, okay? She's a great character. Her romance on the other hand is...eugh. There is a lot of unfortunate implications. You guys already know I'm not a big fan of Padawan and Apprentice relationships, it's just creepy for me. Also, you start romance literally after her father dies. I'm serious, it almost plays into the Sex for Solace trope. Also, the Consular is coded to be an older person, while Nadia is really young. I mean, ngl, I don't mind age difference as long as both parties are the age of majority (which, to give credit, they are) but still. Honestly, I just like Nadia better as a surrogate daughter/little sister to the Consular.

16. Corso Riggs

Yeah, Corso is...not the best in my opinion. I'll give him credit, he's got good looks and plenty of gentlemanly charm if you're into that sorta thing. But then again, his romance setup pretty much forces you to take advantage of him while he's drunk. Already that bumps him down a few spots for me. Personality wise, I find his whole 'don't hurt woman at all' shtick to get really old, especially when he does it towards women who are actively trying to kill him and the Smuggler. Buddy, you can defend yourself and still be a Gentleman at the same time. His jealousy also kinda gets on my nerves. Not my cup of tea, but I won't judge anyone who picks him.

15. Jaesa Willsaam (Dark side)

Some may not like that I put her this high, but the reason Dark!Jaesa is above the last four for me is simple: the entertainment value. Honestly, her romance is also roughly how I feel about her character: not actually 'good' per say, but so hilariously over-the-top and edgy, that I can't help but laugh. A perfect fit for a chaotic dark side Sith Warrior. However, as a genuine love interest? Not the best. There's better options you can pick for that. Also, I'm not discussing in this list Light!Jaesa, since I believe that's an expansion-only romance.

14. Raina Temple

Alright, done with the bad, now we can move onto the good, starting with Raina. She's alright in my opinion. I don't have much to say, honestly. I like her whole everywoman theme, she's cute, she's got some complexity to her, and she's not Kaliyo. Not an absolute fav, but she's good in my book.

13. Andronikos Revel

Again, not much to say. Revel's got a good arc to him: starts off casual and laid-back, but once you get to know eachother, he opens up and it becomes more serious. I also like how he's flirtatious and not an absolute creep about it...unlike a certain someone... So yeah, simple and sweet. 12. Risha Drayen

Don't have much to say for Risha, either. I like her, but I'm not crazy for her. I will admit, I do have a soft spot for the whole princess x rogue type of romance, and she is a pretty likable and personable character. I just prefer the other romance option for smugglers, but we'll get to that in a bit. 11. Felix Iresso

Someone give this man a hug, a blanket, and some snacks. He did not deserve any of the shit he went through. Hurt/comfort aside, I like Felix. He's calm, mature, friendly, and straight-forward in a good way. I know I sound like a broken record, but honestly, I am having trouble of what to say. Moving on! 10. Ashara Zavros

The one thing holding Ashara back for me is the master/apprentice dynamic. That's really the only problem I have with her romance. I just find it creepy. That aside, Ashara's pretty good. I love her character arc of her realizing the conflict between Jedi and Sith isn't as Black and White as she initially thought it was, and how it ties into her romance. I especially like romancing her with a Light Sided Inquisitor. It's just so sweet.

P.S. They did her dirty in KOTFE 9. Vector Hyllus

I know how beloved Vector is and some people are really not gonna like me not putting him the top 5. That's only because I only did his romance once. However, I did enjoy that playthrough. Vector is a very wholesome and quirky character with some interesting romantic themes. I'll have to play through him again someday. 8. Akaavi Spar

Man, I love warrior women. Especially ones who soften up over time, just like Akaavi here. I honestly have a soft spot for characters who completely wall themselves off from everyone else, but slowly begin to let other people into their boundaries as they open up. I know some people might not like me putting her over Risha, but I can't help it. Akaavi is just great.

7. Torian Cadera

Once more, not a whole lot to say, but I do enjoy Torian. His loyalty and courage are always endearing. One of my favorite moments in this game is reciting Mandalorian wedding vows with him. IDK why, but it's just so adorable for me. He, the Hunter, and Mako are an OT3 of mine. 6. Elara Dorne

Elara's romance is pretty adorable. She slowly begins to fall for you, spends time trying to adjust to a more casual relationship, and even goes out of her way to fill out heaps of paperwork and bypass regulations just so she can be with you. I love it. The one downside for me is the fact that you're her CO and she's technically sleeping with the boss. I don't hate it as much as the master/apprentice thing, but it does come a bit close. Other than that, she's great.

5. Malavai Quinn

Kicking off my top 5 is Quinn. The reason he's not number 1 is because I have a few issues with his romance. For one, you can turn the relationship very possessive and abusive as a dark side character. It's pretty scummy that the game lets you do that, and there is a sadly not insignificant amount of people who like to take that route. I won't call names, but still, it can get a bit iffy. On the other hand, if you're passive with him and respect his boundaries, his romance is considerably sweeter. It's really rewarding to see him show his undying loyalty and affection for you if you're not aggressively demanding it from him, and I love how you can rebuild your relationship after the Quincident. Really wish more people would go down that route. 4. Mako

Honestly, Mako has one of my favorite companion dynamics in the whole game, romance or not. She's charismatic and quirky gal to contrast to the generally gruff and straightforward bounty hunter, but still badass enough to keep up with them. And the romance, again, is pretty wholesome...and I'll leave it at that. Just plain cute and heartwarming. 3. Vette

Vette's dynamic with the Warrior is pretty much about the same as Mako's with the hunter. Which is why I really like her. I'm a big sucker for noble x commoner type relationships. Also in comparison to Malavai's, I like to take things slow with her, too. Instead of pushing every flirt button, it's wholesome to see her slowly come to a decision on her own and profess her love to the Warrior. NGL, though, I absolutely love how she literally jumps with joy upon being proposed to. Oh, and BioWare, how dare you make me choose between Torian and her! 2. Aric Jorgan

It's grumpy cat time. Another trope I have a soft spot for is the Defrosting Ice Queen (or King in this scenario). I love it when characters don't initially hit it off at first, but eventually warms up to eachother. Sure, when rushed, it comes off as contrived and unbelievable, but when done right, it's just amazing.

And Jorgan is just that, his friendship/romance evolution with the Trooper is a bit slow, but also believable. By the end of the story, he ends up straight up dedicated towards you. I also love how flustered he can get in romantic situations. Now if only BioWare made him bisexual... 1. Kira Carsen

@swtorpadawan and @magicallulu7 are gonna like this. Anyway, Kira might just be my favorite vanilla SWTOR companion. Playful, snarky, but still goodhearted and brave. And throughout the years, she'd still remained a favorite, both character and romance wise. I know, master/apprentice stuff, but I never see the Knight as her master. I see them more as Jedi partners (and perhaps more) if anything. I really like how you do help her overcome her past trauma and develop into a more responsible figure. Honestly, making her Bisexual in Onslaught was a chad move...if only BioWare did that for other companions. Conclusion

Holy fuck, that was a lot! Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this ranking. If you disagree, please don't flame me for my opinions, or else I will cry. instead, tell me how you'd change the rankings and what your favorites are.

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Actually...

I take it back. The absolute worst thing that's come out of this is the anon message I know I didn't just fucking get. Someone tell me I'm fucking hallucinating.

I'm gonna put this under a cut because if you woke up in a good mood this morning, or are not feeling this type of negativity then I respect that and I applaud you for protecting your peace.

But I need to vent.

Imma put a few fun little panda GIFs here and wait for you to truly decide if you don't want to use that back-button right about now.

"Fuck this blonde bitch I hope she lose that bastard and dies in the process".

That's the message I got. I didn't want to answer it directly because I really want to give people the opportunity to avoid the whole discourse if they want to, and answering directly would have a) thrown it in everyone's face, and b) probably would have just invited anon to come at me again, and honey, I ain't got the time.

Anon is blocked, of course, and I thought that would be enough but every time I think about this — and I can't stop thinking about it — I get more and more excruciatingly fucking ANGRY to the point where it physically hurts me, so I need to get this off my chest.

It takes a special kind of human garbage to type shit like that. And I swear to god that if I had any kind of money, I would invite you and your sorry ass to come off anon and I would immediately offer to pay for the therapy that you clearly desperately need.

What in the ever loving fucking fuck could ever prompt a person to wish death on not just a woman they've never even fucking met — regardless of whether you 'like' her or not, just take two seconds to breathe in, hold, and out again, bend your knees, get all the way down to the fucking floor and pick up what I'm about to put down: YOU DON'T KNOW HER. Alright. Got that? Good. — so not just a woman you've never met, but her and her unborn baby?

(Also... "bastard"? Really? Like... Meaning "child born to unwed parents"? Because a) so what? Children are born 'out of wedlock' every single day and it's literally not a problem, so there's that. And also b) they may actually be married and just haven't told anyone. And I can tell you it's because of people who would have responded exactly the way you just fucking did. So...)

Like, if you care so deeply about this entire situation that you feel the inexplicable and uncontrollable need to harass people on anon about it, I'm gonna suppose you consider yourself a fan of Henry, right?

I say 'consider yourself' instead of 'are' because I'm of an entirely different opinion. Because how, if you're a fan of anyone, could you possibly wish death (or any other kind of harm) on the two people that man loves most in the world. Because that's what that is. That's what you're doing.

I know people who have lost a spouse. I know people who have lost a baby. And although I'm not going to stand (sit) here and pretend to know what that feels like, I'm pretty confident saying this:

That is irreparable damage.

Damage you will learn to live with. Pain that you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

That's what you're wishing on a man you supposedly care about. Someone you care so much about, in fact, that you took time out of your no doubt not all too busy schedule to harrass other people saying this completely despicable shit, ruining days (congratulations, you managed that, at least. It's an accomplishment, I guess).

I'm fucking depressed right now. Not because of this, and not because of you, don't worry. This was a preexisting condition. All I wanna say is that, in addition to sorting out all of those feelings I'm having by myself, about myself, and about my own life, I really don't need to deal with the pile of human garbage that is your fucking psycho ass, anon.

Get help.

Or at the very least fucking 'suffer' in silence.

[joyswonderland1108]

Break my ass

I was supposed to be taking a small break from social media but this thought have been eating me out for some time so i thought i’ll just let it out and resume with my break. Warning, this might be some pretty raw talk so if you’re a 12-16yo judgmental ass minor with a victim complex please get the fuck out of here, not even some supposed adults can handle a mature talk let alone kids. (But if you’re a minor and still mature enough for this talk you’re welcome to stay)

So this post is supposed to be about Jimin but beforehand, my friend shared this in our friends gc earlier :

And i was like.. Are people ignorant or just like to play dumb? Were they expecting Yoongi to go on tour with nothing? Going on tour for what exactly Suchwita? I remember i once told someone “Well logically there will be Yoongi’s album too since he’s going on tour” and their reply was “I don’t think so” 🤡

Anygays, as French people say, revenons à nos moutons. So by now unless people are living under a rock we all know FACE is coming Aka Jimin’s album is coming, with that i have a few things to say. We all know damn well how a part of this fandom is waiting for opportunities to drag him for the smallest thing ever and sometimes those who say they love him don’t even help minimizing the hate either. 

Once the album is out please, don’t read too much into what any of the songs or lyrics mean, try to understand it as it is, don’t even try to make up some bullshit theories, don’t westernize his thoughts and view of things, let us not forget that we aren’t all coming from the same place with the same culture with the same mindset, don’t even try to link his words to anyone (Those who make everything about Jikook i see you.)

I’m pretty sure it took him a lot to take a step forward and decide to open up to Army and i’m also pretty sure that he’s not expecting everyone to understand but at least those who claim they love him and support him should be up to it. Let us listen to him, understand him, support him and accept whatever he has to offer for us, no more “Maybe he’s coming up with a second album” or “Maybe there is more to come” just stfu, we don’t know about that and whatever he is ready to give we shall appreciate him for it. 

One more thing, we all know that this fandom is fond of double standards, need i remind you how Jimin in Paris going out, partying with friends brought him harassment, got him called names, dragged meanwhile Tae doing the same exact thing if not more got people cooing at him and saying that they’re happy he gets to have fun.. I see y’all Tae stans out there trying to bite my ass from speaking the truth but the reality is no matter what Jimin does y’all are ready to judge him for it but instantly turn whatever he does to a normal thing once Tae does it. I hope he’s ashamed of y’all, disappointed in y’all. 

Once again, i’m really insisting on the fact that you should NOT westernize anything about his album, the way each individual sees things is not the same, things that might be normal for him might not be normal for you, things that might be normal for you might not be normal for him and if i see them bitches shame him for anything that all the members do/say as well again.. I’ll sacrifice your souls to the devil bitches! 

I know i keep repeating this but let is serve as a reminder, Yoongi didn’t say “FANS will understand” during Festa for nothing, they KNOW that not all Army are fans, they know that not all of them are understanding, they know that a lot of them are entitled little brats so they don’t expect them all to understand but hopefully those who are mature enough and love them enough will do and support them no matter what. We are supposed to give them a chance to move forward too, we can’t just put the boys in a prison and expect them to be the version each one of us want them to be, we are supposed to ACCEPT them the way they ARE and allow them to no longer hide behind a façade to please ungrateful pieces of shit, because yes to me anyone in this fandom who isn’t ready to accept them is a piece of shit.

With that, i guess i said everything i had to say, not too sure, again y’all already know my brain doesn’t brain correctly all the time, can’t organize my thoughts well, if i forgot to include a point i’ll either update this post or writer another post later. Take care.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

1 3 13 for that ask game!!

Character everyone gets wrong - oh damn, lotta answers I could give for this. Mmm... actually, because I haven't seen a lot of people talk about this one: Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead. Like... imo both fans and people who hate him don't actually write his character properly; fans mainly writer 'Dadzawa' and him being this super caring dude who like saves every kid ever when like... in canon he's an incredibly flawed person who often does more to harm his students than he does help and has a shit ton of trauma that prevents him from being the support they really need. Yet at the same time I think a lot of the hate for him tends to hyperfocus on his flaws and act like he only cares about like two students, when he does care a lot about them and does try and help his students; also, no one ever takes into account his role as a homeroom teacher; his job isn't to improve their skills in a specific area like an English or Gym teacher, it's to make sure they get things like good internships or opportunities, and to make sure they more or less stay on track. He does seem to try at least. A lot of Aizawa's flaws as a teacher are the same flaws all the adults in the series share due to the errors in writing, really. Idk, both the pro Aizawa and anti Aizawa stuff I've read just kinda rubs me the wrong way.

3) Worst take you've seen on tumblr - oh SHIT. This could be a whole separate post in and of itself. I could say "Itachi was actually the most super awesome cool genius ever and he was 100% right and Sasuke's a little bitch for not doing exactly what his flawless plan decided and also Fugaku Uchiha was abusive so he's the real hero", because I will eat the esophagus of the next person who says that. Or "Cass is actually so mean and scary so all the civilians like Jason more because he protects women and children specially and also she's so mean to him :(" because I am willing to commit first degree murder of this. I could also say "Dabi-Touya/Fuyumi/Shouto/Natsuo/fucking REI are the real Abusers and Endeavour never did anything wrong actually", or maybe "Ben was abusive towards poor uwu boy Klaus who did nothing wrong ever". And that's just sticking within fandom. There are probably worse takes out there, but I refuse to remember them atm.

13) Worst Blorboification - oh, this one's easy, fucking TIM DRAKE. Blorboification is fine but he's been blorboed so hard the Tim Drake fandom isn't even a fan of the actual fucking character by any measure, there's like nothing left there. I try reading Tim Drake fanfic and I'm hit by Sad Pathetic White Boy Who Is So Tormented By The Cruelty Of Those Around Him And Can Do Nothing But Cry like NO. THATS NOT HIM AT ALL. I'M GOING TO EAT SOMEONE'S LUNGS NEXT TIME I HAVE TO READ THIS.

[laf-outloud]

Not to sound heartless but I don't get why people are so out of sorts at the pricing of Jensen ops thing at CCLP. Like I get how it looks, but at the same time, if he's too expensive then don't do it? If people pay those exorbitant prices to meet a celebrity for 5 seconds then that's on them. It absolutely checks out that he might realize his super fans are willing to pay whatever he charges, like the RC concert, and taking advantage of it while he can. Look at his super stalker Abi for crying out loud. How that girl continues to live in a home despite following him everywhere at the drop of a hat is beyond me. So if he sees that, why is anyone surprised that he wouldn't strike while the iron is hot? It's business and he has showed us on more than one occasion that he's all about that. Not to mention, all the bullshit this guy or Jared or any of them deal with on the regular thanks to this fandom, I don't blame him one bit. I'd charge sky high pricing too, hoping it might discourage my stalkers and other AA psychos. Especially after the bullshit ops Hellers like Alyssa asked me to do at NJ con. So if people are stupid enough to pay those prices, meaning those very AA's I mentioned, then they deserve to be taken advantage of financially in my opinion. Every other company and business enterprise does it every single day to every consumer, so why not them? Am I saying it's right? No. But I am saying this is how it works. And if people are upset, then again don't pay those prices. The less in demand he is, the less opportunities he has to drive up that pricing. It's basic common business sense.

I'm just so tired of hearing everyone bitch about stupid things like this to be honest. If you don't like the guy, cool, then focus on what you do like (not you but the people bitching to you when they don't even plan to go or pay to get those photo ops here or at that event). If you like him but hate the prices, then don't pay them. The whole celebrity thing is overrated anyway. Who gives a shit if you get a picture with Tom Cruise to post to your Instagram or get an autograph from Selena Gomez? How does that make you any cooler or the person to follow or pay attention to unless it helps your career or business? These are just human beings that make more money than we do on a daily basis and their image is out there for the world to see, sometimes repeatedly. That's it. I've run into quite a few celebrities in my time and I can tell you it was nothing to write home about, even if they were really nice and somewhat humble. No matter how good looking or "hot" they may have been. They're human beings that you or I could easily be working with every single day at our jobs or our neighbors or whatever. I even ran into an actor once who was so drunk he couldn't walk properly and nearly crashed into me as I was passing by. His bodyguard didn't see it until we nearly collided because he was so focused on the other direction of the sidewalk we were on (there were more people on that side that were moving towards him). I wasn't there to see him, I was just walking by. Never did I go "omg I just nearly collided into a wasted Oscar winner, where's my phone so I can take a pic?" Human being. Just like us. I've seen them eat, get trashed, give their entourage a hard time, hit on girls, etc. Just like any of us at one point in time or another. There's nothing special about them to the point where we should lose our common sense and use our mortgage payment to pay for a 5 second photo and then turn around and bitch that it "wasn't more special". If people want to pay for a photo op where he's playing Dean, again, if too expensive then don't do it. But if not, then I'd get more people being upset about that.

People need to stop putting all of their stock into things like this, meaning celeb photo ops. A photo op is just a photo. Should they smile because you paid for the photo with them? Yes. Should they be professional in that 5 seconds? Yes. But that's it. They don't need to rub your shoulders or or make you feel unique or special (as I saw one blogger mention that this is why they were disappointed with a Jensen con experience they had and now they're firmly anti Jensen because of it). They're there to do a job. Some people like Jared choose to connect or interact with the fans which is cool but that's going above and beyond, an extra perk. He is not expected to do that. Like when these guys are on stage at a panel. They're there to entertain and answer questions, that's it. Which is why I can't believe people ask them to announce pregnancies or say hello to people that aren't there or stuff like that. This is why celebrities of a higher tier don't do cons, like you will never see Nicole Kidman or Kevin Costner doing them (outside of SDCC or NYCC). A con is a business transaction through and through. These two guys don't owe anyone anything outside of that. If it's too expensive, like say that outfit in the store or that car you're considering, don't pay it. It's that simple. No one is forcing you to do it. Just like no one is forcing you to sign up for Amazon Prime or pay more monthly than the minimum payment towards your student loan. It's all up to you what you do with your hard-earned money. My advice? Don't put all of it (as well as your hopes and emotions) into celebrities. You'll come out far more disappointed than you do pleasantly surprised (Jared appears to be more of the latter from what I've seen).

Sorry if this was a bit acerbic but this shit is ridiculous to me for people to whine and complain about when no one is forcing anyone to pay those prices. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest and I hope you personally enjoy the rest of your weekend.

LOL! Rant away, anon!

I will say that not all celebrity culture is terrible. I've seen multiple people who've expressed appreciation for Jared's willingness to open up about mental health and his AKF campaigns, to the point of helping save their lives. (Though I would hope that relying on Jared and his efforts is only ever a temporary crutch and that people use it as a jumping off point to learn how to rely on their own strength, or find other resources.) All that to say that I understand wanting to meet and thank someone who has impacted your life for the better, and sometimes cons are the only place to do that.

"The less in demand he is, the less opportunities he has to drive up that pricing." This is very true, and I suppose if the market bears it, Jensen can continue to fleece his followers. I just think the optics aren't all that good. The higher prices basically scream money grab and it's just another in a long line of money grabs from this past year that make me think he actually isn't doing as well as some might think financially. But, like you said, if people are willing to pay, why not?

It sounds like you've been thinking about this for a while and I'm glad I could be a place where you could get it off your chest. Whether others will agree, I don't know, but I hope you have a wonderful rest of the weekend as well!

[kazhan-draws]

Hello, can I ask for 6 and 39 for either Bobadin or Mungrove for the otp relationship game?

Hiiiiii 😁👀🥰Thanks for the ask, I'm going to do both, because I obviously can't miss the opportunity to talk about Mungrove and Bobadin.

I'll go with Mungrove first and put the Bobadins in another post 😋

the questions if anyone wants to ask me more about ST ships

6. When did they realize they loved each other?  

Eddie realized he was in love with Billy after making him laugh with a stupid joke. It’s a mix of Eddie loving entertaining and getting the exact reaction he wanted out of Billy, knowing he can make Billy look and sound like that when few people can, how beautiful he thinks Billy is when he’s genuinely smiling and laughing, and how he kinda wants to do this forever. 

Billy realized he was in love with Eddie while Eddie was in the middle of ranting about something nerdy, getting all fired up and gesticulating dramatically about something Billy doesn’t give a shit about, but he’s still listening carefully because he loves watching Eddie move around, listening to him run his mouth non-stop, how passionate he gets about the things he loves, and those are all things that tend to annoy the shit out of Billy with anyone else, so maybe the explanation is simply that he’s in love with the guy.

More under the cut because I have Can't Shut Up About Those Two disease.

I like to think that Eddie’s the first one who realized he was in love with Billy, whether they’re together or not at the time, so he’s a few steps ahead when it comes to accepting it and working up the courage to say it. 

I also feel like he just Knows Billy loves him back, at some point. Obviously Billy doesn’t say anything, but it’s in the way he touches and looks at Eddie, it’s the small things he does for him, it’s the fact that Billy wouldn’t do a lot of things including allowing himself to be in a relationship with a man if he wasn’t head over heels for Eddie. 

I don’t think there’s a “oh” moment for Eddie where he realizes Billy loves him, it’s gradual, a steady thing he knows deep inside. 

As for when Billy realizes Eddie is in love with him… Well, Eddie has the tendency to say out loud whatever goes through his head when he’s getting a bit emotional or a lot into something, so. I think he’s very likely to just drop the L word out of nowhere. Like maybe they’re just chilling in Eddie’s bedroom and the light coming through the window hits Billy’s face just right and he’s all frowny and bitching about something but Eddie isn’t listening because he’s busy staring at the freckles on Billy’s face so he just. Says it.

Basically…

Billy: I need to take a loud shit, put some music on Eddie: I’m like, so in love with you

Or something like that. So that’s when Billy *truly* realizes his idiot boyfriend loves him too, because he had a feeling, you know, Eddie kinda shows him every day, but hearing it is what truly cements it, even if Eddie really has the worst timing—then again, a very ill-timed love confession is just so Eddie, Billy can’t really be too mad about it. 

39. What other couple would your otp get along with the best?

If we’re going with canon couples… I think Max and Lucas, eventually, but that’s only because there are no other canon couples they’d have any reason to spend time with, much less get along with. 

Like, I’m sorry, but I don’t see Eddie or Billy ever getting along with Nancy, so that’s a no for Nancy/Jonathan. I don’t think Eddie is a big fan of Mike, and Billy would definitely have a soft spot for El, but “she needs to dump the Wheeler Rat”. Eddie definitely adores Dustin, but Billy can only stand very, very small doses before he wants to strangle the kid, and with Suzie in Utah… anyway they definitely wouldn’t get along with her either.

It’s not like we have other canon couples close to their age, because Robin and whatshername—Vickie aren’t really a thing yet (and also 🙄) and even if they were, I just don’t see it.

So, yeah, Max and Lucas, it’s just in the sake of maintaining peace at first, but I’d like to think it could become a lot more genuine through the years.

Now fanon couple, there’s only one I see them really getting along with and that’s Jonathan and Argyle. Argyle is chill and funny, he’s a calming presence for Billy, he’s just effortlessly kind and accepting and very good at defusing a situation, so it’s basically impossible to get mad at the guy, even when Billy is in A Mood. It’s kind of dangerous to leave Argyle and Eddie alone though, because they always seem to have the best (worst) ideas together. 

It’s also very dangerous to let Eddie and Jonathan talk music, because they will argue constantly. Jonathan is a pretty chill dude until you start shit with the people he loves or put him in the same room with Eddie Munson. It’s friendly and teasing at first, and then there’s yelling and it’s time for Billy and Argyle to intervene before it gets ugly.

Billy likes Jonathan, because the guy doesn’t look like much, but there is a fire inside him. It’s hard to get him angry but he can be a total bitch and it amuses Billy a lot. Also they don’t talk about it, but hey, team shitty dads! 

Anyway, yeah, I think the four of them would be very fun to put in a room together and study. 

[canadianlucifer]

1, 4, 6 and 14 for takizawa!

Tysm for this, this entire reply is going to pretty much just be Takizawa because he is my poor little meow meow!

1. (Hands you a free card to ramble about whatever for your favorite character/ship)

Toss up between hidekane and seiakimon but I’m gonna go with seiakimon bc there are So Many Thoughts with these three. Akira and her two ghoul boyfriends

Obviously Takizawa need So Much Therapy before any romance stuff can happen so we’re gonna assume he’s been getting the help he needs for this (and so have Akira and Amon honestly, they’re not completely insane but they’ve got problems too).

SEIAKIMON COULD HAVE BEEN SO SO GOOD.

Taki was the only one who truly saw Akira as Akira. People in the academy chalked up her success to the fact that both her parents were investigators and didn’t acknowledge the work she herself put in. Everyone saw her as a product of her parents except Takizawa. He competed with her, not her parents and that’s why Akira liked him. He saw her as a bitch because he was jealous of her natural talent and how she often got more opportunities than him in the CCG, she got to go on missions while he was stuck in the office even though they were equally talented. And don’t even get me started on them only ever seeing each other from the side and the first time they truly look straight at each other is when Akira throws away her life career to protect Taki and lays her heart bare to him, telling him about how she tried to live up to everyone’s expectations but failed and how she never stopped thinking about him, wondering if she had just stopped him at the Owl Execution Operation. That shit hurted.

Of course we’ve also got the canon Akira and Amon, they work alright but need some more development. I really think Ishida has no clue how to write romance, every single one just comes out of left field, most prominently Yoriko and Takeomi. “Hey, haven’t seen you in a long time, nice to see you again. Anyway, you make good bread, wanna get married?” ????????

And with the right development, Amon and Taki would work well too. Amon’s closeted bi ass learning that it’s okay to be queer (thanks Donato for instilling religious trauma into this himbo /s).

In conclusion: Akira has two hands.

4. What character do you (the asker) remind me of?

I don’t really know why but Mutsuki kinda! No idea what my brain is doing at any moment in time

6. What’s your favorite piece of TG fan content you’ve made?

Hmm, I haven’t made much recently do NOT ask about my 2015 era art lmfao but I’d have to say this meme, it just fits the dude so well lmao

He's a little silly.

14. Song you associate with (character/ship)

Oh dear here we go.

So Mother Mother makes some AMAZING songs and I could write an essay on how every song in Oh My <3 fits him, but besides that, I think Control by Halsey fits Takizawa quite well!

“They send me away to find them a fortune” getting sent to fight and kill the Owl

“I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me"” being scared outta his wits and writing “I DON’T WANT TO DIE” on his will

“I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds” post Kano trauma

“I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head” listening and giving into his ghoul side

“And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control?” Taking control over his own life and becoming a terrifying monster of a ghoul and killing Tatara while his former coworkers watch on in fear.

Gasoline works really well too!

[weaselishmcdiesel]

In my defense, the accidental lie has been going on for 4 years and each time I run into HS content I send it to this guy... which probably has worsened the lie, so like at this point I might as well go out with a bang

Also please please do give me more info on other characters you feel comfortable with, cuz we weren't sure what we were gonna play so we are doing 3 one-shots (Im DMing all 3, pain) before setting on one, so it might be a bit extra suspicious if only 1 homestuck npc shows up and I don't know enough about Nepeta to confidently make her show up 3 times and make it seem like she's my fav and I know all about her

This shit is so funny hshfjfjgjgj I do hope you manage to sneak by undetected if only so you can say you did such a good job pretending that you fooled a real fan XD and hopefully your friends a good sport

And sure! Maybe I can help strengthen those characters you say you know? They’re the more popular ones so I sorta know more about them than others.

I WROTE THIS IN MY NOTES APP THIS IS SUPER LONG ACTUALLY AND IM SO SORRY TRY TO SKIM IT <- was asked to talk about homestuck and thought was be able to keep it brief. Wasn’t.

Karkat - I was obsessed with him then and I’m obsessed with him now he’s a loud whining piece of shit with a pretty bad attitude. Mainly a character based on him would yell as their normal speaking volume, swear a LOT and also creatively, but is also hiding an insecurity. The thing about him is he has a mutant blood color that would get him killed on his planet- so he can’t let anyone find out, he can’t accidentally bleed or cry (tears are their blood color) in front of anyone. So maybe your character is also hiding something super important? He gets along best with people who don’t really take his bitching to heart since his bitching is his way of showing real concern- he does actually care about his friends no matter how many times he calls them idiots. Also is really interested in romance as a concept and likes romcoms. He uses dual sickles as a weapon- I figure you may want this information since they’re dnd characters.

Dave - Cool kid, sunglasses he never takes off, he raps and makes beats on his turntables. He’s obsessed with irony and sorta doesn’t know how to enjoy anything without being ironic about it? Enjoys frustrating people WITH his irony. I struggle with characterizing him bc I’ve consumed a lot of fanon, but maybe that will make your presentation of him more authentic XD? A safe bet is to make your character kinda deadpan in tone but still be able to crack jokes and act pretty silly. If given the opportunity to be the hero he will not take it, he rejects the idea that he should be anyone important. He fights with swords and has a tendency to break them- but still uses them anyway. He gets the power to time travel later on, and can stop a person in time too, dunno how you’d implement that tho.

Vriska - … very very tough for me to summarize her… but I can say that a character based off her has killed one friend, paralyzed one friend, and blinded one friend, but then feel little to no remorse about any of it because they believe they’re the main character and nothing bad will happen to them since it’s all part of their story (though, she blinded that one person because that person blew up her left arm and left eye BECAUSE vriska killed that one friend). Ahem. Got carried away. Your character just did some pretty bad shit that makes them seem untrustworthy. She’s very lucky tho- it’s part of her powers- so your character should be too. She has a spider motif but it only really manifests in her adoration for spiders and her way of typing, so you may not have to worry about that. She’s popularly called the “huge 8itch” if that helps. She fights by rolling die? And depending on how they land they’ll do more or less damage. I don’t really know the specifics? But her luck powers enable her to roll exactly what she wants every time

Rose - rose is also tough for me… she’s a writer and can use a lot of big words and constructs sorta needlessly complicated sentences but she’s got a lot of wit and loves being sarcastic. She’s.. gothy? Has an interest in the occult and occult myths and she’s also pretty fascinated by wizards but I think tries to be lowkey about it? She’s a very smart and clever person too- so much so that in fanon people tend to forget she’s also kinda silly. Sorry that’s all I can say ^^; she fights using a pair of knitting needles- eventually they can also conduct magic and do damage that way. The power she gets later on is- sorta like knowing the future? She can only know the GOOD outcome but she knows specifics so that she can tell her team how they can end up getting the good outcome- she’s the strategist of the group

John - the leader of the kids! suuuper cheery and has the ability to pretty much make friends with anyone. He ends up being naive tho and may not realize when someone is trying to take control of him. He’s very interested in pranks and overall being a silly goofster ✨ if it ever comes up under no circumstances will he eat baked confections. No cakes especially. He loooves Nicolas cage and ghostbusters and some other older movies I can’t remember- other characters just tend to say he likes bad movies but he adamantly believes they’re very good. So maybe your character can also defend something that may objectively be kinda bad? His iconic weapon class is hammers 💪💪 but he also gets wind powers later- he can summon tornados or even fade into air to travel in the wind and appear somewhere else

—

It may be helpful to point out for nepeta- she has a best friend who’s very concerned about her well-being, equius. He even so much as controls what she can and can’t do (kinda only about certain things that are super dangerous). I don’t really like him as a character, but your npc might be hesitant to do something before asking their best friend for permission. He’s a stickler and very no-nonsense and will likely deny anything too dangerous? But also he’s incredibly terrifyingly physically strong- so your pcs wouldn’t win a fair fight with him. He also sucks up to any royalty. If any pc is royalty he’ll do anything they say. A trademark of his is that he gets very sweaty very easily and also very much likes horses. Also he likes milk. Idk. Nepeta’s weapons are these retractable claw glove things- and equius WOULD use a bow and arrow but breaks every single bow he picks up because he can’t control his strength. Instead, he fights with his fists 👍

—

Very quick rundown of the main characters I haven’t mentioned yet-

TROLLS

(they’re all kinda friends but I point out their most important relationships, ones your pcs may ask about, they’re also ordered from lowest to highest class) kept these summaries vague so you can insert your npcs in their place?

Aradia - she’s dead don’t worry about her, if asked she was into roleplay, archaeology, and adventuring. friends with Terezi, dated sollux, killed by vriska if you need to know

Tavros - he’s the one who’s paralyzed from the waist down, he has no confidence whatsoever, likes the troll equivalent of Pokémon, has a bull motif, has lots of conflicting feelings about vriska (is constantly manipulated by her), and is friends with Gamzee. Attacks with a jousting spear

Sollux - likes coding and computers, has a red and blue and duality motif, speaks with a lisp, also likes bees a lot. Will not eat honey if asked tho, friends with karkat and hates Eridan. Dates Aradia and feferi. Attacks with his very strong telepathic powers, could kill him if he’s over exerted

Karkat - friends with sollux, kanaya, Jade, has a crush on Terezi but is normal about being friends with her, and is sorta chill with Gamzee and Eridan. Dates Dave but really really hated him to begin with so be careful, may say he hates Dave if asked- they date late into homestuck… would say he hates everyone if asked. Except kanaya

Nepeta - BEST friends with equius, kinda friends with Terezi? Roleplayed with her sometimes but terezi’s a little mean about it cant tell

Kanaya - she’s a very reliable friend, but fears she’s too meddlesome. interested in fashion and is also a vampire 👍 very good friends friends with karkat and dates rose (do not separate) Hates Gamzee and Eridan if asked. Attacks with a chainsaw that can also transform into lipstick

Terezi - LAWFUL whatever your character is theyre lawful. Loves dragons and she’s blind but she can smell/taste colors to the point where she can kinda see? She has something very complicated going on with vriska (she’s the one vriska blinded, but still sorta loves her as a friend). Attacks with a blade concealed in her walking stick

Vriska - she lost her left arm and eye but she gets a robot arm. Has something complicated with Tavros (kinda crushes on him kinda hates him) and Terezi, turned down a confession from Eridan (but he asks out everyone so it’s not that big a deal) but they were friends in the past

Equius - ehhhh I don’t like him idk he has a crush on Aradia and it’s weird, big thing about him is he makes robots idk. Brutally protective of nepeta- they’re best friends

Gamzee - stoner who’s (and I mean this literally) religiously devoted to clowns- wears face paint all the time and has clown horns everywhere for him to honk. Friends with tavros and karkat but everyone (but tavros) sorta treats him like a useless stoner when he’s just trying to be friendly (ahem. Until some crazy story stuff goes down but i won’t spoil it in case you read) should not be without his substance for too long or people will die not exaggerating. Attacks with clubs.

Eridan - classist royalty, fish guy pirate, interested in war and strategy, makes fish puns I think. Has a crush on Feferi but they’re supposed to be best friends. Used to be friends with vriska but confessed to her. Hates Sollux bc when Feferi stopped being best friends with Eridan, she went on to date Sollux. He’s rizzless. Completely rizzless. Attacks with a cool harpoon gun. Doesn’t believe in magic if asked.

Feferi - THE empress like she’s as royal as you can get, but she’s in waiting for when the current empress passes. she’s also a fish but she’s not classist- she cares a lot for people and animals and would abolish the ableist classist regime of the planet they live on if she had the power, until then she tends to aquatic animals n stuff (not afraid to kill people if necessary tho, she knows how to survive). Friends with Eridan but only to keep him from killing people, stops being friends him when there are no more people TO kill around. Dates Sollux later. Also makes fish puns. Attacks with a two pronged trident.

—

Wow this is getting so long I’m so sorry

THE KIDS

I won’t go into the alpha kids or the other set of 12 trolls bc I’m very rough with them and also they’re not as important?

Dave - raised by his older brother who taught him sword fighting but was also super neglectful as a gaurdian and traumatized him with puppets and constant sword training and pranks. All the kids are very good friends with each other so nothing of note there but he goes on to date karkat- if asked tho he canonically was kinda struggling with finding out he was gay, though if your PCs don’t want to deal with that then do what fanon does and ignore that (I also ignore it). He’s also technically siblings with rose but doesn’t share the mom TECHNICALLY. If asked he doesn’t have a mom unless you want me to go into the alpha kids OTL

John - has just a dad who cares about him very much. And if asked regards his late grandmother very fondly. He doesn’t go on to date anyone but he does kinda hate Terezi? Troll romance is complicated I shouldn’t explain it. He’s technically siblings..? With Jade? But they don’t share the grandparents or the dad.

Rose - dates kanaya I’m serious do not separate them. She has a mom who’s an alcoholic but has a pretty humorous oneupmanship going on between them. She’s technically siblings with Dave but doesn’t share the brother

Jade - ok. So. She was raised by an omnipotent dog. Her grandpa died when she was very young and her dog (bec) took care of her. She’s very cheery - even cheerier and sweeter than John but she will not take any shit she’s not naive like him. She’s interested in science and robots and botany she’s very good at growing plants but she lived all alone on an island for most of her life. She always had visions of the future growing up but was never creeped out by them, always staying optimistic. Her main weapon is a rifle- not sure how that translates in dnd? She later gets the power to manipulate space itself- make things massive or very tiny, she gets telepathy and can move objects around at near the speed of light, and can teleport. She also becomes part dog later. I’d say she’s lawful good? Probably easy bet. She’s friends with karkat, kinda friends with Feferi, in one universe she dated an alternate version of Dave- not the Dave your PCs would meet, so if asked I dont think she exactly had a crush on him- I believe they both said their feelings are complicated. Technically siblings with John but like I said don’t share the parents

—

Forever apologizing for the wall of text. I’m hoping that, having been a dm once myself, you were expecting a lot of info..? No matter what tho I didn’t write as much reading all of homestuck is worth XD

[biglisbonnews]

No One Is Safe From Chaka Khan's Reads As it turns out, it’s not just Céline Dion fans that weren't terribly thrilled about Rolling Stone Magazine's controversial 200 Greatest Singers list. Chaka Khan also has some choice words for the publication, and everybody is catching strays in the process.Appearing on Los Angeles Magazine's The Original podcast, Khan took the ranking to task after learning that she had been ranked at No. 29 behind Mary J. Blige at No. 25, who she's had a longstanding on-again-off-again feud with. "They are blind as a motherfucking bat! They need hearing aids," Khan blasted. "These must be the children of Helen Keller!”Khan went on take issue with Joan Baez's inclusion at No. 189, remarking, “Let’s be honest, the bitch cannot sing,” although she did concede that "she was a good writer.” As for Mariah Carey's No. 5 ranking, Khan seemed to suspect that the only reason she landed so high on the list was the result of some behind-the scenes wheeling and dealing. "That must be payola or some shit like that.” And by the time it got to Adele, who came in at No. 22, Khan threw in the towel saying, “Okay, I quit.”Fearing the wrath of the BeyHive Illuminati, Khan was careful to avoid passing any judgement on Beyonce's No. 8 spot. “I don’t have anything to say about Beyoncé. She’s a great singer. She really has [the] opportunity to be a great singer. She has what it takes. She got the chops. She does.” And while it sounded like it wasn't her cup of tea, Khan appeared to be indifferent about Christina Aguilera's inclusion. “Whatever, a lot of Black people like Christina Aguilera. She’s alright.”According to Khan, the list's only saving grace was the decision to put Aretha Franklin in the top spot “As she fucking should be. Thank you! There’s justice somewhere!” She also seemed to take pride in Whitney Houston being given the No. 2 spot, pointing out that she was the one that introduced her to legendary music producer Clive Davis. “I made her mother bring her down to the studio and sing background with me. Her and Luther Vandross. They both sang background for me on my albums.”Either way, Khan didn't seem all too bothered by the bogus list. “I didn’t even know what the hell you were talking about, so obviously this don’t mean a great deal to me,” she admitted to the podcast's host Andrew Goldman. “These people don’t quantify or validate me in any way.” And with that, the library is now closed.Photo via Getty/Dimitrios Kambouris https://www.papermag.com/chaka-khan-rolling-stone-list-2659494081.html

[kyywtii]

Tears Of Themis boys as ||𝚃𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙲𝙷 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼𝙴𝚁𝚂||

𝙰𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚖 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚐

Chill and relaxing games

No screaming

No keyboard smashing

No table banging

No chair jumping

Just peace

Talks to his chat more than he actually plays tbh

Games like Unpacking and Townscaper where you don't need to use your brain that much

Sometimes... JUST SOMETIMES...

He feels like streaming for 7 hours to play all the Sherlock Holmes games humans have produced

7 hours playing the same game if he's really into it

Or if his chat is being annoying

Even fangames-

Every time there's a save point in the game he's just "Chat, let's take this opportunity to discuss all we've done so far"

Has an inside joke within the fandom about him having an OnlyFans account

Just cuz he attempted to make a joke once

"@Art3m1s feet pics when~"

"These are not for free"

"...OH SHIT WHAT DID HE SAY"

"DID YALL HEAR THAT! ITS NOT FOR FREE!!"

"SOMEONE PULL YOUR CARD I DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY PLEASE GO CHECK AND FIND HIM"

"ITS HAPPENING I KNEW SOMEONE LIKE HIM WOULD DO SUCH BUISNESS"

"... guys what the-"

His mods hated him that day

Complete chaos

"@Art3m1s where did that picture of you and @Mariland go ? I can't find it on Twitter TT"

"Oh I just-... guys no"

"Omg is it what we think it is"

"Everyone... don't-"

"ITS IN HIS ONLYFANS FOR SURE HE SHOWED HIS SHOULDERS"

"I SAID NO"

Doesn't know how to deal with any of this istg

𝙻𝚞𝚔𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚎

I don't know what he's doing either don't ask me

This man rage quit Stardew Valley once

"ITS NOT WORKING LOOK"

"WHAT KINDA JOKE IS THIS"

"I CANT PLANT IT IT DOESNT LET ME"

"IVE BEEN FISHING FOR THE PAST 7 DAYS WHY AM I ONLY GETTING TRASH IM NOT GETTING WHAT IM LOOKING FOR"

"@LukeyCharm... you need to use the right bait..."

"... I'm not playing this game anymore the cat is ugly anyways"

Switched to cooking Mama instead

Professor Layton is his bitch actually

EMOTES EMOTES

Once the light in his room turned off because, well, light bulb

And that was the day he got his "man who doesn't pay his bills" reputation

"Omg @LukeyCharm... we didn't know you couldn't afford to pay for your lights we failed you as a community TT"

"My PC is literally working I HAVE ELECTRICITY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING"

"It's okay !! You don't have to be ashamed ^^"

"??? WHAT ARE YALL-"

"We'll make sure to help you in the future ! Guys, make donations !!!"

"Guys I made a petition to raise funds and provide enough money for his electricity bills, go sign it!"

"Let's go ! Let's go! Sign it !!!"

"...."

Is actually so done with his community it's hilarious

"Will the lights hold until the end of the stream this timeeeeeeee???~"

"... I'm banning you"

𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚞𝚜 𝚅𝚘𝚗 𝙷𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚗

Listen first of all

Cat and dog ears filters

Okay

Good

TO WITNESS SUCH A SIGHT THAT IS MARIUS WITH CAT OR DOG EARS THE PRICE TO PAY IS

A price

He got multiple filters with multiple sizes and multiple colors and multiple shapes of multiple species

Depending on how long you want the ears to stay on his head

The price is all types of wallets friendly

Screams 24/7

Plays horror games to scream even more

"Oh look a cute little bir- OH GOOD LORD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT WHERE TF DID IT COME FROM ITS SO UGLY GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY SIGHT"

Gets bullied by his chat on a daily

"@Mariland gives such bottom energy"

"??? Excuse you ???"

"Ikr !!! I mean one glance is enough to tell that!"

"HELLO where did this COME FROM"

"Omg @Mariland looks so cute when he's scared~~~"

"... I hate yall"

He actually loves yall

Someone paid 50$ just to ask him to say "UwU" one day

He actually was shocked ngl

"I'd do anything to hear him say UwU"

"Huh- nah I'm not saying that"

~ilovemelon donated 50$~

".... what was it you wanted me to say-"

Plays Genshin impact

And the Sims

And anything that comes his way tbh

𝚅𝚢𝚗 𝚁𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚛

Him

H i m

Which one of you encouraged him to do this

I mean forced

His community is by far the most disciplined one

Wonder how he has a community in the first place he treats his viewers like absolute trash I'm sorry-

Love hate relationship with his fans

"OmG @Vynyl remember that day when you couldn't pronounce the main character's name ???"

"Remember that day when you got blacklisted and got restricted access to content on this channel? I mean today?"

"... I'm sorry"

Gives his chat the silent treatment everytime they start being annoying

"OMG HES SO HOT IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING"

"I'm not even gonna acknowledge seeing whatever it is I just saw"

Actually lets his fandom choose the games to stream every now and then

Once someone requested a game saying it was one of the funniest most amazing underrated games ever

It was neither fun

Nor amazing

And it wasn't underrated rather overrated as a matter of fact

That bs shouldn't even have existed first of all

Man was so disappointed he decided to play Subway Surfers for 3 hours straight

"@Vynyl... Can't we switch games..."

"Hush"

"This is so booooooring"

"Suit yourselves"

"Cant we just do something else already TT"

"Next time you'll make sure to choose wisely."

Don't try to get him involved in any drama fr

"@Vynyl is so problematic he's literally so insensitive and disrespectful"

"... I literally saw you barking in my live yesterday"

[dreamer-grl]

i think it’s time to talk about lando norris and this immaturity he got going on right now. like “oh it’s his humor” get a better one. also his comments of “it shouldn’t be a life time ban” like bestie they assaulted someone yes it fucking should. also his juri vips take… like no his career should’ve been over let’s stop giving white people with privilege leniency. like i used to really like lando but he’s so weird now and block me if you wanna be a weird litte bitch about me saying this when it is the truth. anyways the bucket hat saga… he’s weird for that and childish. idgaf if “the bucket hat is worth more now” and also don’t give me that “the girl seems okay with it” do y’all not get fan/star power dynamics? lando is unfortunately a star and so therefore if i a fan (most definitely am not one) who likes lando gets an opportunity around him i would subconsciously allow him to get away with so much more than what i am actually comfortable with and therefore it’s an abuse of power to me. also not even just that it’s also super disrespectful towards lewis hamilton for him to have done that. and i get that lewis probably sees himself in lando simply because they are both british and got started with mclaren but baby lewis wake up this little white boy do not respect you as much as you think he does and it’s blatant disrespect too. like it ain’t even hidden no more tbh. anyways that’s my spill that’s my take. idgaf about any other ones that are for lando norris doing that to that girl. edit—

so gonna take her advice and not go back and forth with nobody on this no more but this is further proof he did that shit for no reason and it was unprovoked. just nasty if you ask me. 💅🏾

[reimagine7]

Hot Lifeguard (Emily Sonnett x reader)

My first story. Sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language. Opened for  suggestions.

It was just another day at work. Days like this were one of my favorites. Just a few people at the beach and less people in the water, that is almost the perfect scenario for a lifeguard. Because normally that means no incidents. My shift was almost over, just one more hour and I could go home to prepare for dinner tonight with my girlfriend.

Right now I am sitting at the cabbing along with Josh, my partner for the day.

“No fucking way” I heard Josh yell while loking at something through the glass.

“What? What did you see?” I asked “You’re not going to believe who just arrived at the beach” “Well, if you give me the binoculars I could see by myself.” “There is no need to. Look at the group over there.” He said pointing to a place in the sand “Okay, I’m looking but I’m not getting it.”

Just as I said that I saw a blond girl running a few meters at the sand and trying to do a cartwheel on the sand and failing miserably, ending with her butt at the sand. Yep, now I know of who Josh is talking about.

“Girl, that is the US women’s soccer team, seems like the whole team is in here.” He was really excited “Josh, clean it right here…” (I rubbed my hand on my chin and he copied me) “Why?” He asked, after seeing nothing on her hand “You’re drooling.” “Oh, fuck up.” She pushes me and keeps looking at the team, it wasn’t the whole team but is probably half of the girls.

“Okay, I’m gonna say hi. Do you wanna come?” Josh asked me “You can go, someone has to stay here and actually do the work.” Josh rolled his eyes but got the walktalk. “Fine, I would tell them you say hi, I’m bringing the walktalk” “Go there looser.”

I was just watching a few surfers at the beach, when I looked to my left and saw Josh coming back with the group of girls following him. He gave me a sign for me to come down.

“So Y/n these are the players from USWNT and girls this is Y/n.” “Hi girls, I actually know you all, I’m a big fan, you’re all badasses.” “Thank you. We heard that so was you.” Ashlyn said and Alex followed. “Josh here went to say hi and told us that his coworker was a woman and a badass so we needed to come check out.” “Well, it’s my pleasure to meet you.”

“For how long have you been working here?” Ali asked. “In this part of the beach not much, but as a lifeguard, 10 years.” The girls were shocked “Oh, 10 years? Sorry to ask but how old are you?” “25” “You can be a lifeguard while you’re 15?” “Yes. I was a good swimmer and at a young age I started to learn surfing, I always loved the water. So one day I got the opportunity to be a lifeguard at a waterpark near home, since then I never stopped. And soon as I had enough experience to be a lifeguard at the beach I moved and here I am.” Tobin spoke this time. “So do you also surf?” Before I could answer, Josh interrupted us “Oh yeah, this is almost like an unofficial rule to be a lifeguard, and Y/n is like the best here. Sorry girls, but I’ll go upstairs and check the beach” “Bye Josh, it was a pleasure to meet you.” The girls said and then looked back at me.

“I’m probably not that good, but yes I can surf.” “We would love to see that, it’s a shame you’re at work.” Tobin answered. “Isn’t your shift ending?” Emily spoke this time, I looked at her and the sun was hitting her face, making her blue eyes shine, she is so beautiful. “Yeah, actually. I have probably just one more hour left.” 

“So what about you meeting us after it and we can see how good you actually are?” Ashlyn asked me with a smirk. “That is a challenge Ashlyn?” “You can bet on it.” Ali smacks Ashlyn in the back of her head. “Ashlyn, you can’t go out challenging people.” “Just a moment girls.”

I interrupted whoever was saying, as soon as I spotted something on the ocean. I climbed the ladder from the cabin and called for Josh. “Josh!” “Yeah boss!” “Look at the water, 10 o’clock. What do you see?” “There is noth… shit looks like two people. Maybe kids. Go!” I jump in the sand and get the surfboard. “Sorry girls, and it’s a bet Ash.” I ran as fast as I could toward the people, wishing this day could end as good as it started.

As I was getting closer to them I noticed that one of them was a little girl, around 5 years old and the other was a boy around 12 years old. I was going as fast as I could but it looked like it wasn't enough. As I was about to get to them, the boy pushed the girl up, and sank. Fuck! 

“Help! Lucas!” I got the girl, put her over the board and tried to find the boy but he didn’t get back up. What should I do? I looked up and saw the girl was using diving glasses. “Can you lend me this? Okay, look, you see these ropes? Hold them as strong as you can and don’t let them go. I’ll get Lucas.”

I know it look like a stupid ideia, let the girl up there by herself, but if I wait for Josh to get here the boy could be dead. So I got in the water and dived trying to find the boy. I surf back up, check with the little girl, get some breath and dive back. I was almost giving up when I felt something on my left leg and when I looked at it was him. So I get his hand and rise back. “Lucas!!” I got back on the board, laid him down and asked for the girl to sit in front of me holding the ropes. He’s unconscious, I need to get to the beach as fast as possible.

I got to the beach and Josh was already there with the equipment and said he had already called an ambulance. I barely got that, the boy was my first priority, I looked up and saw the national team girls were close. “Hey little girl, you see these women over there?” She nodded. “Stay with them, for me to take care of Lucas okay?” She didn’t want to let go of him, must be her brother. Probably noticing my expression, Emily came over and got the girl, she started to scream. But my focus was somewhere else now. The boy wasn’t breathing, so I started the compression. “Come on, come on. Spit the water. Come on Lucas, you can do it.” I must be doing it for like 1 minute, but it felt like an hour, when the boy spit the water. “Good boy. Calm down, you’re safe now.” I put him on oxigen, and the ambulance arrived just in time as he regained consciousness. “Hey boy, what’s your name?” The paramedic asked. “Lucas.” “Hi, Lucas. My name is Daniel and I’m a paramedic and I’m going to help you okay? How old are you?” “12. Where is my sister?” “Hey Lucas, it’s okay, she is over there, stay calm okay.”

I looked back at the girl and went to calm her down. “Hey little girl, how are you?” She came running for my arms. “Lucas?” She asked while crying in my arms. “He is better now, you see? He is talking with the doctors now. Where are your parents sweety?” “Don’t know.” And as it was agreed the mother shows up. “Lucas? Lucy?” “Mom!” The little girl ran to the women's arms. “Where is Lucas?” “Hi Mrs, my name is Y/N. Lucas is over there being taken care of. Do you know what happened?” “No, I told them that I was going to get some water and when I came back they weren’t there so I started to freak out and I saw the comotion here.” They start to take the boy to the ambulance. “Okay, Mrs…” “Grey” “Mrs. Grey, they are taking Lucas to the ambulance right now, they will check on him, he drowned trying to save his sister, I’m going to explain everything to you until we get to the ambulance, can you just pack your stuff? Are you alone here?” “Yes, my husband is at work. And I already packed everything, it is in here.” “Good, come on. And I would like Lucy to have a check up as well, she hasn’t drowned but she could have drunk some water. We don’t want to take risks right?” With that I went up to the ambulance with the mom and then let the paramedics do their job. I hope the kid stays good.

I went back to the post and Josh was there. “What a way to end the shift right?” “Thank god, I found the boy under water. Otherwise it would ruin the day.” “Yeah, and the super boss shows up again to save the day.” “Stop.” “Fine, now get out of here. There are some people waiting for you. Go have some fun.” I had completely forgotten about them, time to go say hi, again. 

Emily pov

We were still excited about what just happened at the beach.

“She is totally a badass, she was just talking with us and still caught the kids drowning in the water.” Tobin said. “When she left the girl alone at the board I was like ‘what is she doing?’ and then she just got the boy under water, that was amazing.” Christen said “That’s why she is the boss.” Ali complement.

“Okay, but let’s not forget how hot she is. When she ran toward the water, it was just like we were in Baywatch, and her body. God!” “Kelley!!” “What Linds, is not like you don’t agree with me you were drooling watching her doing her job.” Kelley fought back. “I was not…” Lindsey said pouting, Megan put a hand on her shoulder and said. “Sorry Linds but you totally were. But that’s fine, she is hot as fuck and I think that half of the girls here were drooling, even the “straight” ones”.  She intensifies the quotation marks.

Then Christen intervened. “She also looks like a good person, she looks smart, determined and kind. You saw her with the little girl?” “Hey, I don’t have a competition do I?” Tobin protested. “Of course not babe, but she may be good for some other girls here. And watch out cause she is coming here.”

I looked behind me and Y/N was coming over, she had changed off her uniform and was now just in her swimming suit, a backpack and a surfboard. She was more beautiful, if that was even possible and hotter.

“Hey girls, my shift is just over. So I remembered that one of you challenged me on surfing. So I want to know if she is still up to it?” Ash stood up “Oh yeah, game on bitch. Tobs, Kell are you coming?” “Of course, let’s go.” Both of them replied.

Some girls went along with them for the water, others decided to take a walk on the sand and others were just going to lay and get a tan. Before Y/N followed the girls to the water she came near me. “So, beautiful, can I put my stuff here near you?” “I think so.” “Good, you’re not coming?” “Not today.” “Okay, be right back.” She winked at me and left toward the ocean.

I sat back in the sand and just watched her get some waves with the girls, she was stunning. Of course she was winning the challenge, but who cares, everyone was just amazed by her. 

I was contemplating her beauty when Moe sat beside me and asked. “So, are you gonna spill the beans?” “There is nothing to spill. Don’t know what you are talking about?” “You sure do. If you do nothing the others will keep flirting with her and who knows what could happen.” I look at her shocked. “It’s in your eyes Sonny.” 

An hour later everyone came back from the water and we went to play some footvolley. We paired everyone up and Y/N ended up being my partner. She was amazing at that and we had a lot of fun. She was flirting with me the whole time and I was hoping the girls weren't noticing it.

We stopped playing and were getting ready to leave, when Kelley whispered in my ear. “You better do something girl, she is flirting with you the whole day, everyone noticed. If you don’t do something we will.” “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She just shaked her head and went toward Ash and Tobin, whispered something to them and they went to Y/N.

“So Y/n, we had a lot of fun today and we really wanted to get to know you better. Tell us a little bit more about you.” Tobin asked. “Well, you already know I’m 25 and am a lifeguard. I graduated from the University of Virginia with a degree in exercise and sports science. I give surf classes for kids and I’m also a coach for some amatour surfer athletes. And I’m a sports lover.”

“Wait, too much information. You’re a surf coach?” Ashlyn asked incredibly. “Yeah? Sorry but you were the one who made the bet.” “That explains a lot.”

Becky was the one to speak now. “You went to Virginia? That’s awesome me too, so does Moe and Sonnett, but it doesn’t have a beach there.” “Yeah, I know. I took a pause from the beach while I was studying and worked at a waterpark over there.”

“I got a question…” Oh no, Kelley shut up. “Are you single?” With that Y/N wined her eyes and blush a little, she looked at me and then back to Kelley.

“No?” “You don’t seem too sure about that.” Tobin interjected. “I mean, no, I’m not single. But we haven’t told anyone besides family yet, so…” “Wait a second, so you’re not single? Are you sure? I’m way confused right now.” “Yeah, I’m sure. She actually loves soccer, she loves you guys.”

While the rest of the girls started asking other questions for Y/n. Kelley looked at me with a ‘sorry dude’ look. I understand why she was like that, I mean Y/n was indeed flirting with me, everyone was probably confused as to why she was flirting with me if she has a girlfriend. But they were clueless and I was having a lot of fun with it, so I decided to enjoy it a little bit more and so I spoke up.

“Hey Y/N we actually have the whole day off, so we were thinking of hanging out together and going out for dinner. What do you say? Wanna come?” Y/N looked at me with a intrigued look, but agreed either way. “Yeah, I would love to.” 

“Your girlfriend would be okay with that?” Ashlyn asked. “Yeah she wouldn’t mind.”

“Maybe you can call her right now and talk to her just to make sure?” I said, Y/n was really confused right now, she was trying to understand what I mean with that. I just nodded and saw a smirk appear on her face. “Yeah, that will be great.” Some girls looked at me, don’t getting what I was doing. Christen added. “And if you want to invite her, you said she was a fan, we can surprise her if you want to” “Of course, it will be fun”.

Y/n got her phone and made the call. “So who is gonna talk?” Y/N look at me and I nod toward Kelley. “O’hara you think you can do it? She would love that?” Y/n asked “Of course. What's her name again?” “Oh, you don’t need that” She looked at her phone and back at me, I gave her a reassuring look as she started to talk.

“Hi babe. So I’m at the beach now, and there are some girls here that want to say hi to you.” She put on speaker for everyone to hear. “Hi. It’s Kelley O’hara here, and you are talking with half of the national team.” Silent went over the line, the girls started looking at each other and Y/n spoke.

“She is probably in shock, can you tell her about the dinner?” “Yeah, so we just asked Y/n if she wants to come to dinner with us and we also would like to invite you, so what do you say?” I waited a moment and answered on my phone. “I would love to, but I thought that as I was the one who made the invitation I was already invited.”

Everyone looked at me and then back to Y/n, they were in shock. Y/n has that stupid smile on her face that I love so much and answered. “That’s good babe, can’t wait.” We just kept looking at each other's eyes. Oh god, I love this girl so much. When Kelley yelled. 

“Wait a minute. Why did you call Sonnett?” “Well you asked for me to call my girlfriend. So I did.” Y/n spoke with a smirk on her face “The Emily Sonnett, this girl here is your girlfriend?” “Hey, what do you mean by that? I can’t date a hot girl?” 

With that I went to Y/n side, hugged her and she gave me a peck “And you let me, no, you let us, drool over you girlfriend and didn’t say a thing?” I couldn’t get the smile out of my face. “It was funny and I didn’t know yet if she was going to be okay with that.” “That is no excuse, you should have told me, it is not like I was going to tell the world.” Kelley complained and crossed her arms on her chest. “Okay Kelley, less drama. We are happy for you Sonny.” “Thanks Chris, someone here is mature.”

“Wait, does it mean that now we have to give Y/n the shovel talk?” Tobin asked with a serious face. “No!” I protest. “Sorry Sonnett, we have to, it's the team's rules.” Ash responded. “That’s okay babe, I can take it.”

“Fine, but only if Moe gets to be there.” “What? Why? Moe can’t hurt a fly” Becky said. “Because she will make sure you don’t scare Y/n away, she will be on her side.” “Why would she do that?” “Babe you can’t ask Moe that, just because she is my friend.” “Wait, Moe knew?” Kelley said, trying to look hurt. “Way to throw me under the bus Sonny.” Moe complained.

“Of course, she helped me with the plan of asking Y/n out. We studied together, you forgot?” “Of course you were all Cavaliers. That’s it Y/n you are coming with us for dinner, there is no space for debate. We need to see if you are good for Sonnett. Let’s go everyone” With Megan orders everyone start to go back to where the vans were. I got my stuff and I was about to follow the girls, when Y/n pulled my arm.

“Hey hot stuff, I missed you.” She passed her arms over my shoulders and I hugged her waist. “Hi babe, I missed you too. Sorry about doing it without asking you first. But when the girls pulled over and I saw which beach we were at and that you were here, I started thinking about it, and then you were so hot saving the boy, and the girls liked you so much, and they saw you flirting with me, so…” I was interrupted by a kiss. Y/n ’s lips were so soft and rough at the same time. The way she pulls me closer to her and deepens the kiss, I miss her so much.

“That’s okay honey. I loved meeting your teammates.” “What do you say about us skipping dinner? I really missed your lips...” I kissed her lips. “Your neck...” I kissed her neck, and started to touch her body. “I missed all of this, your body is perfect.” She gave a large sigh and pushed me away “Even though I would love to go to our house and make out with you for the rest of the night. I'm sure the girls wouldn’t approve of it. Let’s go, as soon as we get to dinner, sooner you can get this body.” “Nooo, I’m really regretting telling the girls today.” “The good point is that now you don’t have to sneak out anymore, you can always say you are going out with your girlfriend.” “Okay, but one last thing.” I gave her a passionate kiss, until we heard the girls yelling at us from afar. “I love you Y/n.” “I love you too Em. Now let’s go.” We intercalated our hands and walked to where the girls were waiting for us. This night was amazing and now I can say to the world that the Hot Lifeguard is mine.