#I really need to think what I'll do with my AU

[starzradio]

DOUBLE OR NOTHING

after countless empty promises spilled from his lips, you wanted to believe that he’d show up to your anniversary of all things.

FEATURING: toji fushiguro x wife! reader

CONTENTS: non canon compliant/au, marriage problems, talks of divorce, angst, smut, porn w/out plot rly, unprotected p in v, cunnilingus, fingering, spanking, doggy, missionary against a wall, pet names (ma, princess, etc.)

WORD COUNT: 4.9k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: repost bc i need this dilf in my bed rn 😞

"I'll make it home to you by six, mama. Take you out on a nice date, get you some flowers, all that stuff you like. Promise."

The clock was nearing eight o'clock with no signs of Toji coming through the door anytime soon, your own patience starting to run out with every tick. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. The sound echoed through your ears since you'd sat down on the leather couch nearly two hours ago, waiting for Toji to fulfill the promise. A promise that he'd made after flaking out on the date planned prior to that one.

And prior to that one. And prior. It'd been more missed dates than actual ones that he'd taken you out by now—you weren't exactly sure why you'd hoped for tonight to be different. Well, you knew exactly why. Today marked three years of being married to one another. You knew that he didn't prioritize date nights with you as much as he should, but you had held some sort of foolish hope that your anniversary would mean something—anything to him.

The divorce papers felt like a dead weight in your hand, much like how your relationship would be the second that you brought it up. It all just seemed so final, seeing the terms laid out that would end years of marriage. Just by the flick of a pen. But the idea was almost like a reprieve, like something that was worth looking forward to. You shook your head, getting up from the couch to set the stack of papers on the kitchen table where Toji wouldn't miss them.

Another half hour of eerie silence and Toji still hadn't come through the door. It was getting increasingly difficult to keep some semblance of hope that he'd even show up at all, much less for your date. You admitted defeat, slipping off your heels and pulling up a throw blanket over yourself. Succumbing to the sleep that was weighing down on your eyelids.

You weren't even sure how much time had passed when you heard the door swing open, the door hitting the wall from the force. The thud of his shoes hitting the tile followed, a grumble leaving Toji's lips. "Fuckin' bastards rigged that race. Robbed me of fifty bucks," he muttered to himself, slipping his coat off before placing it up on the coat rack.

"You're home late," you called out, watching as Toji turned to look at the couch before flicking on one of the living room lights. "Jesus woman, you scared me," he grumbled, a large hand resting by his chest as he looked over in your direction. Toji rubbed a hand over his face, exhaustion lingering on his face like a second skin. It was only then that he looked over at you, really looked at you, and what you were wearing.

Ah shit.

Almost as if he wanted to make the situation worse, he'd chosen to go with, "You got all dolled up just to fall asleep on the couch?" You could've sworn you felt your eye twitch at the question. He'd barely opened up his mouth and you were already wishing that he didn't even bother showing up for the night.

Toji knew he was in deep shit with each step he took into the living room, his mind already starting to work overdrive to figure out what he could do for what he'd missed. A date? No, you wouldn't have put on the very expensive pair of Louboutins for just any date. His mind was blanking on anything other than the numbers that he'd lost with earlier in the day. Come on, think.

"No, I got dolled up because I thought I'd be going out with my husband tonight," you retorted dryly, smudges of eyeshadow sticking to your hand when you went to rub at your eyes. You could see Toji's brows furrow, the wheels seeming to turn in his head for once, before a look of realization settled on his features.

"Look, I'm sorry. I got carried away at the casino," one of the many excuses you'd heard before coming back to bite you in the ass. The same excuse that he'd used last month when he forgot about a work party you'd mentioned to him. Which wouldn't have been too bad if it weren't for all the snide comments being whispered in your direction and all the unwarranted marriage advice.

Advice that you ended up forgetting about chugging down two glasses of tequila like water. "I'll make it up to you, I swear. You can pick the place and all that shit." There went another one. He'd really topped himself using the two of them in a row. You rubbed the bridge of your nose, looking over at him in disbelief. "Do you even know what today was? Why I'm so pissed off?"

"It's your birthday?" Toji spoke after a couple seconds, the answer clearly wrong just by the look on his face. You rubbed a hand over your face, standing up from your spot on the couch. "It's our wedding anniversary, Toji," you spoke up before he made another guess that would just piss you off even further, "And I have something I need to talk to you about. It's on the kitchen table."

Underneath the vase filled with wilted flowers—a collection more than anything that you kept around as a reminder that Toji used to care, was a stack of papers. He placed the vase down on the table with more force than necessary upon realizing what the documents were. "A divorce?" The words slipped out of him with such venom, such distaste, like the idea was unfathomable.

Toji slammed the papers down on the table, the salt and pepper shakers trembling before falling over. "Is that really what you want?" He stepped closer to you when you approached the table, his hands instinctively moving to hold your hips. Holding you close to his body. "No, I didn't get married with the intention of getting a divorce. But you've been neglecting this marriage for a couple months now."

"I'll make it up to you now," Toji spoke quickly, like he was afraid of losing you at any moment. Like you'd disappear if he didn't. And as much as you wanted to avoid looking over at him, the task had just become all that much difficult when you had nowhere else to look at. It only took one glance at his face to realize just what he meant by 'making it up to you.'

"You think you're gonna fix months of pushing me aside with just sex?"

"Nah, I know it's gonna take more. But you've been so tired, isn't that right? So tired of tryin' to keep this marriage from falling apart and nobody taking care of you?" His words were like a siren's song when he whispered them in your ear, your traitorous body leaning back to meet the drag of your fingertips. It was almost laughable at how easily your resolve had melted. "Lemme take care of you mama. Promise I'll make you feel good."

"You wanna call me a dick, never wanna see me again? That's fine, just don't deny me one last taste. Please," And while Toji wasn't a man to beg for anything in his life, he found himself saying the words anyways. "Thought this was you making it up to me," and as much as you were willing yourself not to fold, you felt yourself spreading your legs almost instinctively when his finger dragged up your inner thigh.

"Can't it be both?" Toji's teeth nipped at your neck, licking a stripe up the junction of your neck. Practically salivating at the taste of you, of the expensive perfume you'd put on just a mere hours beforehand. "One could say that you're just being selfish," your words quickly died out when Toji started sucking on your pulse point, your own heartbeat betraying you. You'd expected Toji to sass you back, say something about how your body was just so needy against his touch.

But instead, he dropped down to his knees in front of you. The wooden floor underneath his knees almost made him feel bad for all the times he had you in a similar position. Almost. Toji looked up at you, "Selfish only when it comes to you."

Every slow drag of his fingertips across your smooth skin seemed almost reverent— like you were something to worship. You were, he just failed to realize that until now. Until you were almost out the door. "I'm sorry," the first real apology of the night slipped out of his mouth, his lips pressed against your shin. "I'm sorry," he moved up to your knee, repeating the action. Hushed whispers of I'm sorry's and featherlight kisses moving up your legs, stopping only when he gets to your clothed cunt.

"I'm sorry," Toji uttered his last apology against your cunt, his eyes locking onto yours as he applied an open mouthed kiss on your clothed clit. Barely darting his tongue out, swirling it against the nerves that were just begging for one ounce of stimulation. And he was practically reveling in how needy he made you in the span of seconds. Your back arched to rest against the seat behind you, one of your hands going to rest on his head.

Toji's fingers dragged slowly in between your folds, feeling the wet patch already starting to form through the thin lace material. You refused to make eye contact with him, knowing that if you did, he'd be able to see just how desperate you were in just a manner of seconds. Even if the bastard probably had a clue already. "You sure your pussy agrees with the divorce?" His voice came out to something akin to a purr, the drag of his fingers slowing down.

Getting you even more worked up than you were already. "Fucking hate you, can't even apologize right," you let out a hiss, your hand going down to his hair. Pulling his head even closer to you despite your previous claim. "Fine, I'll apologize correctly," Toji sounded like you were the one inconveniencing him—to which you were. He wanted to take his time with his meal, have you begging for him to touch you. And normally, he would've.

If he weren't desperate to have your cunt on his face again after weeks, months? of just having his fist to work with. His fist and a used pair of your panties up to his nose like a pervert, hips humping the air in desperation. Imagining that it was your tongue flicking across his leaking tip instead of his thumb, that it was your soft hands in exchange of his rough ones. And as easy as it was for him to get laid—he didn't want to be with anyone that wasn't you.

Toji hadn't tasted someone as sweet as you, heard someone so angelic before, but now he supposed that maybe he'd have to put that theory to the test if you left him after all. Just the idea was maddening. That someone else would be doing the same thing that he's doing to you now, that they'd give you the affection that he should've given.

"Especially sorry to you. Been neglecting you for too long," he hooked his fingers around the side of your panties, pulling them to the side just enough to reveal your slick folds to him. Toji swiped the tip of his finger along your entrance, your slick glistening against the harsh kitchen lighting before he stuck in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it, licking away at it like the slut he was.

And like the deprived man that he'd been, Toji's hands went to the lace of your underwear and stretched it out until a loud rip echoed throughout the kitchen. "You always this wet for people you hate? Or is that just for me?" Toji taunted, pushing your tattered panties down to your ankles. Finally leaning in closer to where you were aching for him to touch you. To do something other than just tease you relentlessly.

Toji settled on his knees behind you, spreading your legs open like you were his favorite meal. His tongue swiped up on your dripping cunt, licking up your essence with sheer greed. "Mmph fuck, so good," his words came out muffled, his tongue swiping across your folds before darting inside of your cunt. Your grip on the table tightened, your hips working on their own accord to push back onto his face. Practically suffocating him in your pussy. Not that he minded. By any means.

Toji practically welcomed it, his hands pushing you down onto his face. Getting absorbed in your cunt completely. "A-Ah fuck, Toji!" You could already see the noise complaint hanging on your front door first thing in the morning. But how could you be expected to keep your voice down? Toji spread your folds apart with two fingers as if he were preparing for a feast, his tongue feverishly licking in between.

"Fuckin' soaked already, knew you loved me," The vibration of the low chuckle that followed his words shot currents up your spine, your ass jiggling all that much more in his face. With such a decadent taste coating his taste buds, dying by your pussy would be nothing short of a blissful way to go out. One of the fingers that he'd been using to spread your folds had been pushed inside of your cunt, your walls clenching around him.

Toji's tongue flicked against your clit, swirling the tip around the bud while his finger slowly pushed further inside of you. The loud squelch of your cunt was the only thing that filled the apartment, everything else completely silent. Your fingers dug deeper into his scalp, a low groan leaving his lips. "F-Fuck, Toji Toji," he pushed another thick finger inside, moving them in a scissoring motion to stretch you out.

"You think y're gonna find someone who can do this?" Toji looked up at you, his fingers curling up to hit that spongy spot inside of you almost perfectly. And if you didn't know any better, you'd almost say that he looked vulnerable while he made the question. Toji's lips wrapped around your clit, gently sucking on it as his fingers worked you closer and closer to your orgasm. You couldn't bring yourself to answer—didn't trust yourself to speak.

"Toji, Toji, gonna cum," you gave him a warning, your jaw falling slack and your lips parting in a o-shape. Soundless moans leaving your lips, feeling that coil in your lower tummy start to tighten up all the much more. With one final pump of his fingers, you were covering his lips with your release. His tongue swiped across his lips, across the scar that he hated, collecting every drop. Savoring what he imagined would be the last taste of you.

"Turn around," It was almost embarrassing how quickly you'd turned around per your soon-to-be ex husband's request.

Toji didn't take more than a couple seconds in unbuttoning his pants and taking them off, his cock hitting his stomach once it was released from its confines. Precum dribbled from his annoyingly almost pretty pink tip, dripping onto the floor. Drip. Drip. Drip. His cock slid through your folds like a slip n slide, your previous orgasm coating his tip with every lazy drag. "Toji," your voice bordered on a whine, pushing your hips to try to meet his movements.

"Tell me what you want," Toji clicked his tongue, one of his hands moving to hold your waist. Keeping you completely still until he got what he wanted. You figured there wasn't any harm in whining—you were already fucking the man after you brought up a divorce. There truly wasn't that much more to lose. "Why do I have to ask for it when you're the one apologizing?"

"Because you're the one pushing your hips back against me. All needy 'n shit. So.. beg."

"Want you inside me, Toji. Please."

"Want?"

You let out a huff before correcting yourself, "Need."

"Come on, doll. You can say it nicer than that, right?" Toji's pointer trailed up your torso, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

So goddamn annoying. You swallowed whatever pride you had left before looking back over at him, "Please, Toji. Need your cock in me. Please."

Toji clicked his tongue, one hand wrapping around his cock and giving himself a couple tentative pumps. "Think you can beg better than that. But since I'm feeling nice, I guess I'll let it slide." So much for feeling apologetic. Toji pushed his cock inside of you in one swift motion, a hiss leaving your lips at the stretch. Even with the fingers that'd been inside of you, nothing could've really prepared you.

"You okay?" Toji dropped his head to rest on your shoulder, whispering the words in your ear. Staying still while your walls tried to adjust to the overwhelming stretch. "You try taking your cock," you muttered dryly, giving him a nod to start moving. "Why would I do that when you take it so well?" Toji pushed the rest of his cock inside, his hands resting on your hips.

Toji wasn't particularly known for being gentle—the one hospital visit after he'd injured your cervix more than enough proof of that, but he started off slow. Slow, shallow thrusts. Fucking you in a way that he hasn't since your honeymoon. "Toji, you can speed up," you assured him, your words getting cut off with a smack to your ass. "What I'd say about tellin' me what to do?" Ah, there was the mean Toji that you recognized.

"Wouldn't need to tell you what to do if my vibrator wasn't looking more appealing right now."

Famous last words.

The change was almost immediate. Mascara dribbled down your cheeks, the sight of your once composed makeup all ruined making Toji's cock twitch inside of you. "Fucking pretty like this, y'know?" His teeth sunk down on the junction of your shoulder, his teeth grazing across the sensitive flesh. His hips snapped roughly into yours, your breathing growing erratic. "Fuck, Fuck, Toji!"

The coldness of his gold wedding band hit your skin as soon as he went to grip your hips, holding you against him like he needed to be close to you. The two of you had been distant for some time and he hadn't bothered to take off his wedding band once, not even on the rare occasion that he actually did happen to take a job. Toji would never admit it, of course—but he was starved for the feeling of your skin against his own.

To confirm that you were still here after all.

Your hands reached out to grab to whatever you could grab—anything, and of course, it just happened to be the divorce papers sitting on the middle of the table. Practically taunting you as your own signature glared back at you. "This good enough for you, princess?" Toji taunted in your ear, his blunt fingernails digging into your sides. "Mhm, j-just like that," your voice came out in a mewl, all bits of defiance completely out of your system.

"There you go. Nasty fucking girl," Toji all but purred in your ear the moment you started to jerk your hips back to meet his own, your ass bouncing with each one of his thrusts. "Just needed Toji to take care of ya," all you could was nod your head fervently, your grip on the divorce papers tightening. And Toji, of course, took notice. He took the papers from you with one hand, giving them a once-over before passing them back over.

"Come on, since ya wanted it so bad, read me those divorce papers," Toji handed you the stack of papers, pointing to where you'd signed your initials just a couple hours prior. Your hands shook as you held the papers, your vision blurry as you tried to make out the legal jargon in front of you. Even the simplest of words seemed all too complicated to try to make out.

"T-Toji, I can't," your voice cracked, your grip on the papers tightening when his cock reached all that much deeper inside of you. Toji clicked his tongue, peering over your shoulder to read the first sentence from the document. "That's not what it says ma, try again."

"Without all the stuttering too."

You took a deep breath, willing yourself to focus on the words in front of you instead of Toji's cock sinking further and further into you. "S-Says that the divorce agreement was made today between us," you clutched the sheets tighter, your eyes almost rolling back when Toji bottomed out inside of you. The tip of his cock dripping precum, your walls fluttering as you tried to get adjusted.

"Mm, yeah, keep goin'," Toji really couldn't care—his focus solely on the way that your cunt stretched out to fit his cock. Leaking around his shaft, loud squelches when he pulled out overplaying whatever shitty soap opera was playing. "And what'd I say about the s-stuttering?" Toji mocked your words, his own hips stuttering mere seconds later while he tried not to get absorbed in your cunt. Not that it was an easy task by any means.

It was hard, especially with the way that you claimed to be over this marriage despite your pussy claiming otherwise. When you opened your mouth to speak, the only thing that left you was a moan. "F-Fuck Toji, right there," your eyes shut tightly at the touch of his calloused hand making itself in between your legs, his thumb rubbing at your clit in a speed that felt like it combated his own running abilities.

"That's not what it says, c'mon," Toji grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointer, turning your head to face the overwhelmingly long divorce papers. You wouldn't finish tonight if he intended for you to read the whole thing, you knew that much. A harsh slap against your swollen clit made the pleasure coursing through your veins mix with pain, a shaky gasp leaving your kiss-swollen lips.

Drool leaked from the corner of your mouth, the black ink smearing with each drop that fell from your parted lips. Your walls enveloped every inch of his cock perfectly, your cunt holding his cock in a vice-like grip. "That I won't try to t-take your things," you managed to get out, hoping that it would be good enough. You knew the two of you wouldn't finish today if he made you read the never ending stack of papers. 

"Good enough," Toji sounded like he would've kept it going if he could, but you set them down as quickly as he spoke. It was almost like Toji was trying to remind you of why you'd fallen in love with him in the first place—the man reverent to your cunt and your cunt only. Every grip of your hips kept you closer and closer to his body, almost as a way for Toji to make sure you weren't slipping away.

"Wh—" Before you had the chance to complain about the loss of contact, Toji had already carried you without a smidge of struggle. His hands hooked underneath your plush thighs, hoisting you up against the wall. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his slutty waist, practically clinging onto him like a koala. "There we go, there's that pretty lil face," Toji placed his pointer underneath your chin, taking in the view in front of him.

The glazed over look in your eyes, the sweat beading up on your forehead, the makeup that he'd successfully ruined—everything about you was just so beautiful. How you tried to avoid looking in his direction for too long. "Don't leave me ma, need you in my life," the words were whispered into your ear, his cock pushing back inside of you in one swift motion. Toji's fingers went back to your throbbing clit, his pointer and middle rubbing against it at the perfect speed.

Not too fast, not too slow, and not too rough.

"Don't ask me to do that," you almost sounded pained as you spoke—not from him filling you up, but for the implication of his words. You'd practically babble anything right now, anything for him to keep going. To forget about the reality that awaits the two of you. Toji's lips found yours in an instant, the exchange between the two of you almost depraved. His mouth was feverish in the way that it moved against yours, like he'd never get the chance again.

Your hand went to the back of his head, pushing him closer against you. Letting yourself forget for just a little while longer. A string of saliva connected your lips to his when you pulled away—only to catch air. "I’m close, Toji, so close," you whined against his lips, your release coating his shaft a mere moments later. Toji only used that as lubricant, his movements quicker against your cunt to chase his own release.

"There's no one else for me, I'll stop goin' to t-the casino, stop gettin' into trouble," Toji had been reduced to a babbling the first thing he pulled out of his ass, if only to get you to stay. His head rested against the junction of your neck, basking in the remnants of proximity that he could get. Shaky breaths left his lips with each thrust of his hips, feeling himself getting closer and closer. "You've been saying that since we've been married."

"I mean it this time, I promise," you'd never heard a lie sound so pretty slipping from someone's lips before until now.

He bit down on the side of your neck, hard. Not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to where you'd probably have to use a tube of concealer to even attempt to cover up the bruising mark. Causing you problems even now. But you'd be lying if the sudden act of possessiveness had your walls clenching against him even tighter, if that was even possible anymore.

His cock was barely moving against the tight grip you held around his shaft, his pace stuttering. "Fuck, fuck, so tight," Toji let out a loud groan, completely at the will of your pussy. He threw his head back, a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks in this lighting. Ropes and ropes of cum decorated your cunt, his softening length snug inside of you. Toji ended up pulling out a couple moments later, scooping the drops of cum that leaked down your thighs with his finger.

Toji was shameless in the way that he stuck the finger in his mouth, a low moan leaving his lips at the combined taste of him and you. Before your rationality came back, before you got the chance to even think about regretting this, you leaned in and crashed your lips against his own. Tasting yourself on his tongue. The kiss lingered between the two of you more than it needed to, it was less rushed than the prior ones you'd shared.

Like a last taste.

"So, you still want to get that divorce?" Toji knew you would've just babbled whatever for him to keep going, saving the question until now. His movements were almost reluctant as he pulled his pants over his legs once again, making little attempt to fix up his hair. If anything, his fingers only ended up messing the strands even more. Despite knowing the answer deep down, Toji still held out hope. That maybe you'd had some eye-opening moment while he was balls-deep.

You stood up properly, looking over at the ruined sheets on the table before looking back over at him. "I do," you spoke after a couple seconds, grabbing your tattered panties from the floor and smoothing over your dress. Trying to maintain whatever semblance of dignity you had left. Even if it was probably just as tattered up as your underwear at this point.

"Why? You know I love you. You know that you love me. So why should we get separated?" You did know that. But you also weren't sure that he'd ever loved you enough to consider changing. To consider the fact that you needed some sort of affection outside of sex.

"Because you think that somehow every problem between us can be resolved with sex. You say that you want to do better and yet, you never do. It doesn't even feel like you're my husband half of the time," all the bottled up feelings from the past couple months spilled out of you in a manner of seconds. All the bottled up thoughts that maybe you should've told your husband about earlier. Though, you weren't even sure if Toji would've paid it any mind.

And almost as if he'd read your train of thought, "Why didn't you tell me about all this before just hittin' me with divorce papers?"

"Because the few times that I did, you told me to stop bitching. That I shouldn't have anything to complain about with a roof over my head and a fridge full of food," you started off, almost waiting for him to deny what you were saying, "And while I'm not saying that I'm not thankful for those things, I also don't want to feel ungrateful for saying that I miss my husband."

Silence lingered between the two of you, each second that passed by only confirming what the two of you already knew by now. That a divorce wasn't such a far-fetched idea. Toji knew there wasn't left to even attempt fighting for, so he simply just told you, "I'll sign 'em when you get the new ones."

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Poly Jolly AU

Enjoy Part One of the AU very loosely inspired by the Poly Jolly short featuring Loroceit or whatever the ship name should be for Logan/Roman/Janus.

A series of bizarre coincidences end with Logan, Roman, and Janus, complete strangers until they're unexpectedly dumped on the same day, road tripping home together.

Logan smiled as his Uber finally pulled into the bed and breakfast he was staying at to visit Jen and her family for Christmas. Her sister and brother in law owned the place and she'd been working there seasonally as their desert chef, so it had been a few weeks since they had actually seen one another.

He checked his watch, noting he had just enough time to drop off his bags before he was supposed to meet up with Jen for lunch. He thanked the driver, slipping him a tip in a holiday card, and finally headed inside.

"Hey, good to see you made it!" Trevor greeted him. "How was the flight out?"

"There was only one crying baby, so not as bad as it could have been," Logan replied.

"Hey, that's almost a Christmas miracle by itself! Let me get the room key for you and I'll take you up."

"Thanks. Jen and I are supposed to meet up for lunch after this. Is she in the kitchen?"

Trevor nodded. "Just a heads up though she's been pretty upset the last couple days, there's some new hotel that's looking at some land to build on. Her and Emily are convinced it's going to take out the bed and breakfast and obliterated the town or something," he explained, rolling his eyes, and led Logan upstairs. "Honestly though, there's a few of us around and I think we're all already pretty packed out. I know we've already had to turn people away, at least. Especially with the concert that's happening this year."

"Concert?"

"Yeah, I guess some folks decided to try and expand the usual Christmas Parade by having some new singer come preform. Supposedly the dude's in town already, but I haven't actually heard anything about him." He unlocked one of the doors and ushered Logan inside. "Hope you don't mind that it's a double. We were trying a new booking system, the whole thing was a mess. This ended up being the last available room."

"Oh, no, I don't mind at all," Logan assured.

"Well, I'll let you get a little rest before meeting up with Jen. Do you want me to let her know you're here?"

"That's alright. We're supposed to meet up in the lobby in a few minutes."

"Hopefully you can cheer her up."

"I'll definitely try," he replied, thinking of the ring in his bag.

—

Logan stood with a smile when Jen finally made her way into the lobby. "Hey-"

"We need to talk," she cut in sternly. "Come with me." She marched passed Logan, leaving him to trail behind.

He followed her to an office where she closed the door behind them and immediately took out her phone. "Is everything alright?" he asked with a frown.

"What is this?" she demanded, shoving her phone in his face.

He had to take a step to be able to focus on the image. His eyes went wide. "Where did you get this?" he asked and tried to take the phone.

"That doesn't matter!" she snapped, ruping it away from him. "How could you do this to me? To my family?"

"How could I what? Jen, these are-"

"I know that they are," Jen cut him off. "They're blueprints to the new hotel. Your blueprints."

"Yes, my prints that were stolen last month. Where did you get this picture?" He asked again.

"Stolen," she rolled her eyes. "Right. Sure."

Logan blinked, taken aback. "Jen, I told you about that. That's why I was late on Thanksgiving, because I was notified my office was broken into and several of my prints went missing. I had to make a police report."

"Yeah, and they just happened to be the ones being used to take over my hometown," she rolled her eyes.

Logan stared at her, wounded. "Do you really not believe me?" He asked softly.

"Why should I?" She demanded. "These plans have your watermark on them!"

"That can prove they were stolen!" Logan exclaimed. "Can please tell me where you got this?"

"Is that all you care about?" She glared.

"If it'll prove to you that I didn't do this, then yes, I care about that. Jen, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, muchless something that could hurt your whole family! I didn't even know there was hotel being built here till Trevor told me you were upset about it when I got in."

"Right," she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you believe me?" He asked softly, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

"Don't pretend like this isn't a big deal for you," she sneered.

"It would be if it was actually me doing this, but it's not!"

"Sure."

"Jen-"

"Look. I don't care if you stay here through Christmas. I'm not mean enough to throw you out, but if this is who you really are, I don't think this is going to work out between us."

"But it's not," Logan insisted. "Do you even hear me? Jen, I am not involved in this!"

"Well, the pictures say differently. Like I said you can stay here, but leave me alone."

"Jen-" he reached for her hand and she whirled on him, slapping him hard across the cheek. He stumbled back a few steps, nearly losing his glasses in the process. He stood frozen in shock as Jen stormed off, slamming the door behind her.

He was still frozen when Trevor came in a few moments later.

"Everything okay?" He asked tentatively.

"My blueprints that were stolen last month are being used for the hotel. Jen thinks I'm involved. She didn't believe me when I tried to tell her what happened."

Trevor's shoulders dropped. "Do you want me to try to talk to her and Emily about it?"

Logan shook his head. "No. I, um. She made up her mind about the whole thing. I-" he let out a shakey sigh. "I think I'm jut going to try to see if I can get my blueprints back. I don't think it'll help things with Jen, but…" he shrugged. "Um. Is- is there a, uh, a code for the wifi?"

Trevor grimaced. "We're having someone come look at the internet in about an hour. The café down the road has wifi though."

Logan nodded. "Thanks."

"You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Yeah, I- I'll be fine."

—

"Hey there, beautiful!" Janus greeted his fiancee with a bright smile.

"Who the hell do you think you are!" Stacey demanded, stopping Janus in his tracks in front of the café where they were to meet for lunch.

"I-" he blinked and shook his head. "What?"

"I told you, I told you about the new hotel and that everyone was upset about and what did you do about it? Nothing!"

"I didn't know there was anything to be done for it. You told me there were rumors about a new hotel, but I didn't know it was that serious."

"Yes, you did!" She snapped, her tone cold and accusing. "It's your firm representing them!"

"That- Darling, that doesn't mean anything. It's not my case-"

"How could you not know?" She demanded. "It's your firm!"

"It's not like I own it. I don't know about every case that gets handled there. If you explain what's going on, I'll see what I can do to help-"

"No, you've already made it plenty clear whose side you're on in all of this!"

"I don't even know fully what's going on!" Janus objected. "Stacey, if you'll explain it-"

"Don't pretend like you don't know!"

"I don't," he insisted. "Honey, I want to help-"

"It's too late for that," she cut in coldly.

Janus froze. "What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

Stacey pulled the ring from her left hand and pelted Janus in the chest with it. He barely caught it as it bounced off of him. "I hope you find someone who can tolerate you."

Janus stood there dumbfounded for several long moments after Stacey had stalked off before shuffling into the café, unsure of what else to do, and dropped into a chair there, his mind reeling, with what had just happened.

"But it has my watermark on it!" A man's frustrated voice snapped him to the moment. "That has to be worth something. No. No, I don't have the photo with me. My gir-" His breath caught in his chest "-my ex girlfriend showed me the photo. No, she refused to say where she got it- I made a report about my offi-" he sighed. "Alright. Yes, I understand." He hung up and dropped his head in hands with a groan.

"Excuse me," Janus called quietly. "I-I'm sorry. I wasn't meaning to eavesdrop, my name's Janus, I'm actually a lawyer and it kind of sounds like maybe you had something stolen? Maybe I can help."

Logan nodded and sniffed a little. "My office was broken into last month, I'm an architect and some of my designs had gone missing. Apparently, my…ex found them, somehow, being used to plan out a new hotel here. She thought I was in on it and wouldn't listen when I tried explaining what happen."

"Well, it is a small world after all," Janus chuckled bitterly. "My fiancee just broke up with me because someone else works at the same lawfirm as me is involved in the hotel. She didn't believe me that I wasn't involved. My laptop is back at the bed and breakfast I'm staying at, if you want we can head that way and I can see if there's any way I can help get those prints back."

Logan's shoulders dropped. "I would appreciate that so much. And. I'm sorry about your fiancee."

Janus smiled, pained and sympathetic. "I'm sorry about your girlfriend."

—

"What are you doing here?"

Roman startled the the voice and swung around to find his girlfriend glaring at him. "Kate, I-"

"You told me you had a show," her voice was cold and flat as she folded her arms over her chest.

"I-I do. I'm playing here," Roman explained. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh, I'm surprised alright," she growled. "Surprised and disappointed, quite honestly."

Roman blinked. "Disappointed? I- why? I thought you'd be happy to see me."

"I would be if you weren't such a liar!" She snapped.

"I didn't mean to lie, babe, I was just trying to surprise you. I'm going to be playing for the Parade."

She stared at him in shock. "It's you!" She snapped coldly. "Oh my god, it's you!"

"I- What's me?" He asked, confusion coloring his voice.

"You're the reason there wasn't any slots left to perform at the parade. How could you do that to me?"

Roman shook his head. "Kate, I had this planned months ago. I- Why didn't you tell me you wanted to perform?" He asked earnestly.

"Like you'd care anyway," she sneered.

"Babe, of course I care. If I'd known-"

"No. You know what, I actually think this is worse than you being here for that stupid hotel!"

Roman blinked. "What hotel?"

"Don't play stupid. Jamey saw you with the marketing team in the café. Do you even want to be with me anymore."

Roman stood, mouth hanging open, stunned into silence.

"Well?"

"I- Yes! Kate, of course I do. Babe-"

"Don't call me that!"

Roman sighed. "Of course, I do, Kate," he said softly. "If I'd known you were wanting to perform, I would have written you into my set, I would have given up my spot for you. You never mentioned about it, so I didn't know. The only real reason I've been planning on it this way is because I-I was planning on proposing." He tentatively held out a purple velvet box, hoping it might prove to her that her he was serious, that he was being honest, that he loved her. "You've always talked about wanting a big proposal and I knew there would be plenty of people to get pictures for you. I was going to sing for you then have you come up on stage with me and propose."

She stared, face unreadable, at the box in Roman's hand, making him feel like he might drop then and there from the tension. "Are you kidding me?" She demanded after a shocked moment.

Roman's face fell. "I don't understand."

"You were going to propose during your performance? I really didn't want to believe you were just as selfish as every other singer out there, but I guess you proved me wrong."

"Kate-"

"Have fun at the concert," she cut in and stormed off before Roman could answer, leaving him alone and confused.

—

"No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked."

Logan glanced up at Trevor's voice and found a young man, looking just as dejected as he felt standing slumped at the front desk.

He nodded, trying to be brave. "Thanks anyway."

"Hey, Trevor," Logan called out and set down his laptop before moving to the desk. "I've got that extra bed, he can stay in my room." He offered his hand. "I'm Logan."

"Roman," the young man answered. "I appreciate it, but I-I don't wanna impose."

"You're not," Logan assured. "I have the space and, no offense, but you look like you could use the help."

Roman nodded. "I was planning on staying with my girlfriend, but…" he trailed off with a shakey breath and shook his head.

"Mine just broke up with me too," he replied synthetically. "Oddly enough, so did Janus's." He gestured to his new friend. "Don't suppose yours had anything to do with the new hotel that's being planned."

Roman stared in surprise. "How did you know?"

"You're kidding!" Janus stood. "Mine got mad because she assumed I was involved in the legal team."

"My blueprints were stolen for the build and my ex wouldn't believe me about it," Logan explained.

"I was going to surprise her by performing at the concert later this week, but her ex convinced her I was part of the promotional team for the hotel," Roman replied. "That and she said I wasn't being supportive enough of her interest in music she never told me about."

"You guys sound like you're in a hallmark movie from hell," Trevor commented. "I'm gonna get you guys some shots or something. On the house. Whatever you want."

Roman mustered up a smile. "Thanks, but I-I don't drink."

"I do," Janus answered and raised his hand. "Do you happen to have any reds?"

Trevor nodded. "Yeah. Let me get that for you. You want one Logan?"

"Yeah, why not," he shrugged. "I don't think it can hurt at this point."

"You like red too, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Trevor."

Trevor turned back to Roman. "You want me to bring you, like, a latte or something, bowl of ice cream?"

Roman chuckled. "Uh, just a regular coffee is fine. Thank you."

"Coming right up!" He promised and moved toward the kitchen.

"I really appreciate you letting me stay with you," Roman said. "I was hoping to just leave, but, uh, flights aren't refundable. Just my luck." He sighed, dropping into an armchair, and pushed his hair back with both hands.

Janus leant back on the sofa and folded his arms over his chest. "You wouldn't happened to be from Florida, would you?"

"I- Y-yeah. How'd you guess that?" Roman wanted to know.

"Mhm." Janus nodded at the confirmation. "Let me guess. Gainsville?"

Roman sat back in surprise. "Yeah. Yeah, actually. How did you-?"

"So are the two of us," Janus explained, tipping his head toward Logan. "I figured with the other coincidences happening the odds where there. Thank you!" He heaved a sigh when Trevor offered him a glass of wine. It took all his self restraint not to simply throw it back.

Roman scoffed. "If there are anymore coincidences, I'm going to throw myself out a window. Thanks," he mumbled and accepted the steaming mug offered to him.

"I mean, we could just leave," Janus mused over his wine glass. "I already have a rental, I can just get that extended and we can just drive back. We're all headed to the same place anyway. Hell, we're probably all on the same flight."

Logan snorted. "Could you imagine if all three of us were in a row together on the same plane."

The three exchanged looks then all dug out their phones to check their flight information and huddled around to see what others had.

"Well, I'll be damned," Janus raised a brow. "We're literally all in the same row."

Roman tossed his phone on the table next to the mug of coffee. "Alright, that's it, where's the highest window?"

Logan caught his arm as he stood. "No. We'll take you home."

Roman sighed and dropped back into the armchair. "I'd need make a stop first. I, um, kinda left all my stuff at my, uh, at my ex's. Just sort of ran after she left."

Janus snorted. "Can't say I blame you for that. We can do that right before we leave, if you want, that way you can just grab it and go and hopefully don't have to deal with anything else."

"I appreciate that," Roman smiled.

—

"It'll just take a few minutes," Roman promised as he climbed out of the passenger seat. "Didn't exactly have time to unpack."

"Don't worry about it," Logan answered from the back seat. "It's not like we have anywhere to be."

Roman snorted. "How cheerful of you. I'll be right back."

Janus watched Roman trot into the farmhouse and shook his head. "I don't know about you, but this is most bizarre day I've ever had. And I've had someone ask me if they could sue a duck!"

"What?"

Janus rolled his eyes. "They wanted to sue for property damage because it kept pooping on their porch and eating the food left out for the feral cats."

"Oh. Yeah, that sounds like it would be a weird day."

"Y'know, it'd be one thing if we were only on the same flight, or only ended up single, but the fact that it's both." Janus shook his head.

"Not to mention the fact that it all stemmed from assumptions and misunderstandings about the hotel."

"And that!" Janus agreed. "Your buddy was right, it does sound like something out of a hallmark movie. Except we're apparently the arrogant, corporate boyfriends and don't get to clear up the misunderstandings." He sighed and stated out the window. "I'm gonna go check on Roman, he's been gone a while and I've got a bad feeling about this."

Logan nodded as Janus opened the car door. "I was thinking the same thing."

"Don't talk to strangers while I'm gone," Janus teased with a wink before he walked away.

He opened the door at the same moment Roman went sprawling across the floor. He swore and rushed to Roman's side, taking his arm to help him up. "Are you okay?" He questioned.

"I'm fine," Roman groaned.

"You're bleeding!" Janus objected.

"Who the hell are you?" The man standing over Roman, and presumably the one who'd punched him demanded.

"His lawyer!" Janus snapped, lying through his teeth and taking a petty joy out watching his face fall. "And you just committed class c assualt."

"It's fine," Roman mumbled. "Let's just leave."

Janus nodded and picked up the dropped duffle once Roman was on his feet again. "Let's get you home," he said softly and ushered Roman outside with his hand on his back.

"What happened?" Logan demanded and shot out of the car when he saw Roman's split lip.

"I'm fine," Roman grumbled, but let Logan take his face in his hands and check him over. "Kate's ex was there and went off on me about breaking her heart over something she never told me about. He decked me when I said as much. Probably not her ex anymore," he added glummly.

Logan let him go when he stepped back. "I'm sorry," he offered.

Roman shrugged. "Looks like you got the same treatment." He gestured to Logan’s cheek.

"No, it was my girl- my ex who did that to me. Nearly took my glasses off."

Roman gaped. "How hard did she hit you?"

"Well, she slapped me as she was turning to face me, so I'm pretty sure almost her whole body was behind it. I'm just glad she hit my face and didn't catch my ear. Probably would've ruptured my ear drum."

"You're stuff is in the trunk," Janus announced, clapping Roman on the shoulder. "We can go whenever you're ready."

"Yeah, let's go."

( @amazon-me-bitches )

[third-thepeacock]

Welcome to the playroom!

[daily-odile]

AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O

ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go

act 3:

act 5:

[eikichi-supremacy]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[triglycercule]

horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)

horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)

[the-physicality]

so i'm about to dive into college basketball in addition to pwhl in addition to wnbl [sydney only] in addition to nwsl playoffs bc my brain needs to be fed constantly

[sysig]

Having fun, more and more! (Patreon)

[airs-headspace]

Baby -- Child -- Pre-teen

I need to add the shoelaces to Dante's shoes still haha (I forgot about those 🤣🤣), but these are turning out cute... they kinda look like I'm trying too hard to draw in a style that isn't mine, but I think if I draw a "Teenager" stage that'll be a more obvious blend into my own style and then their "Adult" versions are obviously in what I would consider "my style".

[keeps-ache]

i need to walk into a field and just sit for for a while.. maybe forever hbfsh...

[hyah-through-hyrule]

My crops would be so watered if I could just love a main/popular character for once

[pyrriax]

HI TUMBLR late footnote posting before i go to bed (i took a nap today........ ate up most of my time)

not a lot to talk about with footnotes today since i was Busy and my brain wasnt working pfndkmlfd i blame seven hours of modded oneblock

[secondpersonpoetry]

hi! heard the released “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” (which i’ve seen you’ve heard live, if i’m not mistaken!!) this morning and i don’t know if there’s really a particular vibe/dynamic/ship hrpf-wise (personally haven’t yet been able to put my finger on it) that quite relates but the lyrics have been rotating in my head all day and i was wondering if you had any thoughts? hope you have a good one! <3

OH ANON HAVE I EVER SEEN IT LIVE!!! and the second that song came out i zoomed it straight into my fic playlist and unfortunately there are so many guys this could be. right now the one that's resonating is, of course, the golden boy and his haunted ghost themselves: mcstrome.

i am thinking about connor, specifically, after the stanley cup final. that game seven. how angry he was, how loud the silence when they told him he won the conn smythe. how close he's come before and again and again lost. there's nobody else to blame but himself. he's in the empty room and he knows why (1)

at!! your best!!! you were magic!!! oh, golden boy. connor the anointed, of course. at the very beginning of his career we always knew he was something special and who wouldn't have fallen in love with him? weren't all of us a little bit dylan strome in awe of the generational talent? we were all bathed in radiant light just by being in the vicinity (2)

don't even tell 'em that you know me breaks my heart (3). in terms of building a narrative i think i've said before there is a universe where connor/dylan were together before the draft and to protect both of them, dylan breaks up with him. connor says i love you and dylan says i don't. because he doesn't, you know? he loved connor. he loved davo. he can't be in love with connor mcdavid, first overall pick of the edmonton oilers. i'd rather be hurt forever than have to watch us try to make this work and destroy us.

and after connor mcdavid left the otters, dylan strome captained them to a memorial cup win. what a haunted home, eh? to be captain of the team you and your best friend were on, only now he's left you? don't call me to tell me about your rookie season with the oilers--we both know about your broken collarbone. don't call me to tell about becoming the youngest captain in franchise history when i stepped into the shoes of your captaincy here. don't call me. (4)

narratively: dylan's the one who broke connor's heart and his own but by god it wasn't easy. we both know what happened, you went first overall. please don't make this harder on me. please don't call.

this verse can be about the weight of dylan having to live up to connor's standards and always being measured by him. i would just like to bring up the connor stepping stone chart for absolutely no reason as well (5)

we are, at long last, at the potential future of now: dylan strome, happy, smiling, thriving on the washington capitals. connor, on the oilers. i'm not yours, dylan can say. haven't been for a long time. it took some time but i made this. please don't call and ruin this for me, stay out of my life. i don't want you or need you (6)

[p.s. this took a while because when i received this ask i was a) immediately possessed to write this verse by verse breakdown i had never thought of before and then b) immediately plagued by the idea of making you a little graphic (above the read more) and finally got to do it after banging out all the actual lyric thoughts two (?) weeks ago. emerging two and a half hours later from the fugue state of GIMP with 37 layers in this bad boy hope you enjoy!!!]

[chatterbox-juice]

GOVERNMENTS! LEADERSHIPS! WOO!! i hate politics but Jamaa having a flag (last time I checked) suggests that there's some type of government or organization right?? like, yeah the jammatians could've just joined together and said something like "we stand together forever" but no. nah. no thank you. SO, i haven't thought about fully implementing this yet, but i kinda want to? hear me out; the lands of Jamaa have different pseudo-governments and cultures. there's only so much you can do in a game that [was] focused about educating kids the alphas don't count here k? Jamaa Township has a council-based "government;" the alphas make decisions. Township is a jack-of-all-trades thing, anyone from anywhere lives there, so the culture is one big loving doting hug of complete fuckery. Nothing makes sense except the things that do. A leopard runs the news station alongside a penguin. A great horned owl is playing the orchestra on top of the diamond shop. Jam Mart is always empty, a room filled with nothing but pillows exists, it's always crowded and nobody knows personal space even if it gutted them. It just makes sense. Appondale and Kimbara, which are in a territory dispute in my rewrite, both have a vague government structure following the same thing; battle. Appondale and Kimbara both LOVE battle, but in different ways. Appondale, and every other land, by default, also has the alphas that live there in charge (ex. Atlas and his pride, Olive, Biff, etc.) Outside of that "official" government, it's a chieftain system. Tribes in Appondale are somewhat isolated. News gets around, but everyone wants to be left alone outside of events. A gathering for something and other happens, Appondalians (?) celebrate and build camaraderie, and then the camaraderie is basically forgotten about when they retreat to their respective tribes, families, etc. Kimbara, being a smaller land in my rewrite, dabbles in military aristocracy. Protection is NEEDED, and since Kimbara is so bare, warlords are celebrated instead of regular chieftains. Tactical brilliance on the battlefield is what earns you respect. If you have a good sturdy build in Kimbara, use it! They're probably more interconnected because of this. Not necessarily hosting meetings per say, but maybe just little things, like marriages between different tribes. Castes most likely exist in families because of this, we'll see.

Being a warlord's offspring isn't earning you any leverage in Kimbara; blood is as thick as water until it's on the ground. Meritocracy but not really but actually kind of.

In Appondale, blood means everything, to the point of family heads being the ones who call the shots for the land, especially noticeable in Atlas' pride, where obviously the males/head of the family is in charge.

also here's proof about my au's map im transferring it to digital rn

[astonmartinii]

the king of monza can do what he wants | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem alonso!reader

the king of monza can win the race, have his relationship exposed and challenge his soon-to-be father-in-law to a duel, he can do what he wants.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

oscarpiastri

liked by olliebearman, danielricciardo and 432,095 others

tagged: lilyzneimer, yourusername, charles_leclerc

oscarpiastri: double header means we crashed on my adoptive parents' couch and forced them to cook for me (only y/n, obviously)

view all comments

user1: does he know this isn't his private account?

user2: SHUSH DON'T TELL HIM

user3: we need to enjoy this while it lasts

jackdoohan: oscar, there's still time to delete this

oscarpiastri: why would i delete this?

oscarpiastri: oh

oscarpiastri: oh no

jackdoohan: you might want to warn your kinda dad you've exposed the identity of your kinda mum as your kinda grandad is probably putting out a hit on him as we speak

fernandoalo_oficial: don't call me a grandad 👿🤬😡😠💢😤

jackdoohan: OSCAR QUICK HE'S DISCOVERED EMOJIS HE MUST BE REALLY MAD

user4: fernando, are you okay?

fernandoalo_oficial: i want that frenchies head on a stick

charles_leclerc: i am monegasque!

fernandoalo_oficial: so you do actually want to die?

yourusername: okay let's calm down old man

fernandoalo_oficial: SILENCE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT'S THE MAN?

yourusername: yes!

fernandoalo_oficial: no.

charles_leclerc: i object!

lancestroll: his eye hasn't stopped twitching since

charles_leclerc: i don't care! he might be crazy but I'M IN LOVE SO BRING IT OLD MAN

user5: wtf have i woken up to this morning

user6: the public execution of the prince of monaco

yourusername: just because he has a samurai tattoo doesn't mean he knows how to use a sword

fernandoalo_oficial: i will tear him apart with my bare hands

user7: i fear this comment section alone has undone all of his funky grandad tiktok PR

user8: he's going to make charles cry in the press conference

yourusername: oh well, charlie is hot when he cries

user9: and how do you know that...

yourusername: that's none of your business 😈

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 2,312,088 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: italy has my heart and so do you <3

view all comments

user11: queen got exposed and immediately started flexing her unbelievably sexy bf

yourusername: why wouldn't i? he's so damn FINE

charles_leclerc: teehee (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

user12: you might as well have told me to kill myself

fernandoalo_oficial: enjoy your weekend charles, it will be your last

charles_leclerc: and if i win? i think suspended sentence?

fernandoalo_oficial: @carlossainz55 i have a proposition for you

yourusername: why are we acting like he wouldn't do that for free

carlossainz55: excuse me?

yourusername: i'm calling you a jealous bitch xx

carlossainz55: what is your price nando?

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not fucking paying you, i was assuming you'd do it in a jealous rage anyway

carlossainz55: ???

user13: the way carlos is being jumped from both sides unprovoked

user14: which ever alonso it is, they choose violence

oscarpiastri: so ... am i off the hook yet?

yourusername: you know we can't say no to you

fernandoalo_oficial: oscar you might actually be my favourite now, thank you for bringing this to my attention

oscarpiastri: sure i'll take it!

charles_leclerc: you can have my heart and everything else for as long as you want

yourusername: looks like you'll never get it back ;)

charles_leclerc: that's fine by me if i get to spend it with you

yourusername: i love you :P

charles_leclerc: i love you more ( > 〰 < )♡

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 1,209,566 others

fernandoalo_oficial: cash prize for anyone who can actually track down this little rat - i just want to talk i swear

view all comments

user15: it's official everyone, he's gone crazy

user16: as crazy as he is at least he's bringing the DRAMA 🤩

yourusername: this isn't very peace and love of you

fernandoalo_oficial: that has never been the way in this family

fernandoalo_oficial: but let me make this clear, i mean in a destroy all of your enemies way rather than a jos verstappen way

maxverstappen1: ???

yourusername: destroying our enemies does not mean you can do your best jos verstappen impression and drive your aston martin into charles

fernandoalo_oficial: don't be stupid y/n, the aston martin is too slow, i'm going to steal his brakes

yourusername: and how will you do that boomer

fernandoalo_oficial: ferrari are stupid they probably still haven't changed the passwords or locks since i left

yourusername: @scuderiaferrari excuse me???

scuderiaferrari: ....

user17: so like this is a genuine hit?

user18: mob boss!fernando alonso you are so special to me

user19: sorry charles but it's so sexy

charles_leclerc: drop the address senor i'm not scared of you

lancestroll: he brought the samurai sword btw

yourusername: @f1 DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY SECURITY MEASURES ???

f1: it made a good tiktok 👍

yourusername: you people are useless

charles_leclerc: no worries my love it's all under control

fernandoalo_oficial: i will carve you like a christmas turkey

yourusername: you go anywhere near charles with that sword we're both going romeo and juliet style

user20: what on earth is going on

user21: just smile and wave i think we're watching collective hysteria

f1

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 3,562,778 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: CHARLES LECLERC WINS FOR FERRARI AT MONZA

view all comments

user23: bro heard fernando was gonna steal his brakes and simply just drove so fast he didn't need them

user24: he was like 'oh you want my head on a stick? TRY AND CATCH ME'

yourusername: pretty boy is so so talented it's not fair

yourusername: who am i kidding

yourusername: STUNT ON THOSE HOES I LOVE YOU BABY

charles_leclerc: thank you baby, i simply had to drive so fast so i could give you a kiss

charles_leclerc: and also so i could tell your dad to SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN

user25: he's had too much champagne and might actually get himself killed

user26: i will throw myself in front of that sword for him

yourusername: you and me too buddy - i'll cover your drinks for this evening

fernandoalo_oficial: i still want him dead

charles_leclerc: what the fuck do you want from me? i just won? did you see that freak of an orange car? i look after your daughter like i looked after those tyres

yourusername: so romantic 🤭

fernandoalo_oficial: he just compared you to tyres? have some standards i raised you better?

yourusername: believe me, i do have standards - he's special xx

fernandoalo_oficial: i also won monza with ferrari he's not that special

user27: at least he's stopped with the samurai sword talk?

user28: he did say he still wants him dead though

maxverstappen1: @yourusername why couldn't you have dated lando? would've made this championship a lot easier

landonorris: HUH?

yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about standards

charles_leclerc: hehehehehe

landonorris: HUH???

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc: grazie mille tifosi !! this is for you and all of your support. i'm glad my family and my love were here to see this win as well. fernando, bring your sword, i'll fight for your daughter's hand.

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user29: i love this family and i've known them a week

user30: fernando might have to go through me as well at this point

yourusername: i love you so much and you have deserved this and more for so so long xx

charles_leclerc: i couldn't do it without you (and our weird little grid family)

yourusername: you're my favourite person in the world and i just love to see you happy

charles_leclerc: you make me the happiest man in the world

yourusername: i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you too

user31: as cute as all this is ^^ where is this duel

user32: can someone PLEASE STREAM IT !!!!! I WILL PAY

user33: I NEED IT I NEED IT

fernandoalo_oficial: come outside

lancestroll: he spent all of the debrief sharpening the sword btw

charles_leclerc: i'm ready girlypop

fernandoalo_oficial: GIRLYPOP ???

yourusername: PEACE AND LOVE BOZO

maxverstappen1: can we get this show on the road please?

lewishamilton: charles please hurry up i've got some serious cash on this tussle

yourusername: how much we talking?

charles_leclerc: i might die and you're checking the wager?

yourusername: because i have faith in you !!!!

yourusername

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yourusername: he's alive and he's a winner! the king of monza can do what he wants

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user35: prince of monaco? king of monza? bro is collecting titles

yourusername: my husband next 🤞🏻

charles_leclerc: bet

user36: is ANYONE GOING TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE DUEL

georgerussell63: it was extremely unprofessional and there will be an extensive powerpoint covering how this won't happen again

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll fight you next time george

user37: don't go off TOPIC

charles_leclerc: i out strategised him lol

oscarpiastri: what he means is that he surprised fernando from behind and wouldn't stop hugging him until he agreed that he wouldn't skewer him like a kebab

charles_leclerc: and it worked! now look he's on my boat giving me his blessing

user38: you're telling me charles hugged his way out of the conflict?

user39: perhaps the most babygirl he's ever been

user40: we need the pictures SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL

fernandoalo_oficial: fine, i guess he's okay. i'm not calling him the king of monza though

yourusername: i knew you'd come around

fernandoalo_oficial: i love my daughter SORRY

yourusername: don't lie to me you only calmed down and accepted it because i called in the reinforcements

user41: i'm crying she called babysitters for her dad

yourusername: jenson and mark, idk how you deal with him

jensonbutton: the stress of him and his antics keep me skinny

aussiegrit: i think we're all trauma bonded

charles_leclerc: i'll be the king of monza, if you'll be my queen

charles_leclerc: and i will continue to do what i want

yourusername: i'll be your queen anywhere you want

yourusername: and if doing what you want includes fighting my dad... let's turn it down a lil

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

fin.

note: here yall go - this was in my drafts half done from monza weekend but life got crazy