#I really came to terms with this via the recent crush situation

[justsomeweirdbandkid]

God I'm tired of being the one nobody falls in love with

[zoeology31]

30+ Ship/Character Headcanons for Pride: Elena of Avalor Edition

Pride 2021, baby! Took me a whole year to get all my headcanons lined up for my dear old friend of a show, but here they are. This was a very formative show for me so everyone is bi like me, lol.

(Last year’s Star Wars edition)

Elena

Elena is panromantic asexual and nonbinary, and uses she/they pronouns.

They are 100% oblivious to people being attracted to them, and when she does notice, addressing that falls pretty low on her priority list compared to work or family or friends.

For Elena gender is just sort of a thing she has, like a dress. They can be a girl or not be a girl depending on the feeling, but they’re still them.

They settle into a polyam relationship with Mateo, Gabe, and Naomi not too long after coronation, and surprisingly little changes.

Isabel

Isabel finds herself the hardest thing to label, but she eventually settles on pan or queer.

She dates Ari, Caterina, and Amber at various points as a teenager, but never gets into the more direct romance.

As an adult, Isabel is very career-focused and spends a lot of time traveling and researching. She never gets a long-term partner, but does adopt kids.

All her friends are some variety of queer as well: Cristina is pan, Amara and Quique are bi, Olivia is aro-ace.

Flores Family

Esteban is bi and aromantic or grey-romantic.

He never really thought about dating as a kid. Because Elena was similar, he just assumed it was an adults thing until Victor awkwardly tried asking about crushes one time.

He prides himself on being very suave and charming, even flirtatious in situations, but not with any intent, just to make a good impression and get people to do things.

Francisco is bi, but it wasn’t really talked about in his day so he’s only partially aware of it. Luisa is straight but enthusiastically supportive.

The Amigos

Mateo, Gabe, and Naomi are all bi. They handle this very differently.

Mateo only figured it out recently, when he was trying to figure out why he always felt like showing off around Gabe.

He’s a bit of a disaster around people he likes, so he mostly tries not to think about it. This works out well, since he’s naturally very sincere and thoughtful when not flustered.

Gabe's known since he was a kid. He wound up with three awesome, attractive friends, and he’s having a great time.

He has a femme bi older sister, Juliana (my OC whom I will talk more about later) whose support helped him embrace his identity, as well as his dreams of becoming a royal guard, from a young age.

Naomi has switched between the labels bi and lesbian a lot. She got play-married to Vee when they were kids, and it’s a common inside joke between them.

In a modern AU, she’d be a dyed-hair-and-flannel gay, and run a moderately popular youtube channel about sailing and boat facts.

Other Royals

Marisa is pan, Marzel is bi and trans. They’re actually pretty good at wingmanning for each other but in the most annoying way possible.

Valentina is a lesbian, Alonso is bi. Their kingdoms are close allies and they’re the same age, so they’ve been friends since childhood.

Chloe is a bi disaster, which she got from Abigail. Chloe’s other mom, Martha, is the Norberg ambassador to Satu and so is away from home a lot.

Rebeca is bi and ace. She has her own friend group in Galonia who are all at least a little in love with her, just like Elena does.

Supporting Cast

Skylar is gay, Luna is bi. They grew up together and came to Avalor in the same Guardian training group. They both kinda had a thing for Cruz, up until the part where he was evil.

Victor is bi. He has bad taste and is by this point well aware of that. He definitely had a crush on Esteban as a teen, and he and Felicia commiserated over being friends with two hot royal cousins.

Carla is bi. She has a thing for jocks, but really just wants someone she can relate to and confide in, and possibly nerd out over magic with.

After the series, Victor and Carla open a small grocery store and apothecary in the Via Mercado, getting the quiet, stable life they always wanted.

Spirit guides have no innate concept of gender, though they do take on some aspects of the humans they interact with the most. Zuzo has typically identified as masculine for the past several decades, but that’s always subject to change.

Recurring Characters

Rafa is trans, and came out a year or so before Shuriki’s invasion. And of course any master wizard worth their salt knows potions of trans your gender.

Ixlan is a nonbinary lesbian. They use the Maruvian equivalent of they/them, or just they/them for translation convenience.

Antonia is bi. She’s about 24 at the end of the series, and she eventually works her way up to Captain of the Royal Guard. She learns Maruvian so she can talk to Ixlan in her native language.

Tomiko is a lesbian. After college she travels and researches a lot, sometimes with Isabel, and eventually becomes a professor at the Avalor Science Academy.

[hinagamoizaf]

On this day a year ago, I watched DA:LEK for the first time, and coincidentally received my degree results.

Ever since, I have been absolutely obsessed with Digimon again. This piece will contain spoilers to DALEK, and overall you’ll find I have a very nostalgic love for the anime. When I initially watched the film in theatres, my reaction was ‘oh okay, that was fun. Time to move on’. Very nonchalant, and obviously this was the first summer with Covid, the same summer I could have had my graduation ceremony. This is a roundabout way of saying I think I felt rather hollow during this period of time. I say ‘I think’ because honestly, it’s a blur to me. There wasn’t anything worth remembering and leading up to this, in general I was a bitter person.Like most people, I think I’ve just blocked out the lost time. So here was a fresh uni graduate, mourning over a page of her youth that wasn’t worth noting down; trying to be hopeful and find ways to mold herself into society as a ‘real adult’. I did have other plans and tried them out, not all of them flew with flying colours and had a dip towards the end of 2020. As would any other kid with an active imagination, I did what I knew best and distracted myself with writing. I don’t think I necessarily ‘channeled’ all these spiraling emotions into my work, something I’ve grown acquainted with in my poetry. I wanted to escape, hit pause and get myself lost in fiction again; another thing I used to do a lot but at a much younger age. If anyone’s seen DALEK, then I think you might find it ironic how I processed this transitional period by indulging myself in Digimon and writing fanfiction. 

To completely make a clown of myself here, yes I had a good time watching the film and appreciated the message that came with it; both as a Digimon fan and a Literature dork who naturally over-analyzes everything. But for the first time since I was in diapers, simply put, I thought Yamato was really hot and he lived rent free in my mind until I was like ‘aight I need to do something with this realization I have a DigiHusbando because I’ve literally watched Digimon since I was a baby and for a baby all those characters are too old for me to have a crush on’.

Then (for the lack of a better word) a very childlike ‘desire’ of me came and I was like ‘hey Yamato’s hot, Hikari was my favourite character as a kid, I want to see them kiss’. Idk man, it’s the same vibes like when I played Barbies and I paired her with Ken because girl pink-boy blue. There’s some meaning there I don’t want to unpack yet. It started off as a ‘haha what if so crackship right’, but then I legitimately grew to love the idea of Yamato and Hikari as a couple. I am aware my version of them has heavy fanon elements, and again reflects my personal preferences in ships. I remember a time where I was so self-conscious of getting into fanfiction, because ‘I can’t do the character justice’ or ‘I don’t know enough of the canon’. Yeah, I appreciate it when an author can play off that, when their depiction of these characters is something you’d actually see happening in the show. But overtime I was just like ‘...I just want to have fun man, here’s them going on their first date via Yama’s bloody motorcycle’.

I just found a way to be happy with my crackhead interpretation of Yakari while gushing over what the OG story had to offer. As this was happening, I was revisiting the existence of DALEK, and I fell in love with the film. I know this is coming together as a ‘right time and place’ type of situation, and it was. From that time and place, I took it and went ham & cheese on it.  

Just thinking about what happens in DALEK now and how the themes of Digimon have always, always been about the children’s growth; I actually get a physical sadness from my gut. Someone’s going to read this & think I’m insane, but to make a comparison literally only I understand, I’ve only gotten this feeling with Kimi no Na wa and Little Women (2019) in recent memory. Which for all the ways I can’t quite express with the English language, means I really fucking love DALEK. It has impacted me artistically as much as it left its mark on me as a person and my views on life. Over the past year, this intense love over a children’s anime has helped me put into perspective my own messy thoughts on growing up. About finding your own healthy relationship with things from a ‘simpler time’ that spark joy and they can still invoke that feeling. Inevitably everyone grows up and it’s not something that waits for you to be ready with it; but you can find ways to embrace it and seize this new dawn according to your own terms.

[pizellewrites]

All I Need To Know - Part 1

Author: @pizellewrites Rating: Mature (Language, Violence) Relationship: Hank/Connor father-son relationship (Gen) Summary: Connor’s memory core is badly damaged, and Hank must help him put together the pieces of what little he has left in a very unconventional way. Contains: Age Regression, Whump, Fluff

This is the story based on my other baby Connor AU, and it isn’t beta read. For now this is being posted on tumblr solely. When and if it’s finished, I’ll post it on AO3 if I’m happy with it. Divided into ‘parts’ as the updates won’t be consistent in size, and I don’t know how long it’s going to be. Updates will be random because Celebrating Connor is my top priority. But please let me know if you enjoy it, and I’ll put more effort into updating it as quickly as I can manage.

"The Crusher. A TR400 whom was named Martin by its owner. He performed flawlessly up until a good natured employee that worked with him, a deviant JB300 by the name of Lucas, 'awakened' him with good intentions. Days after his deviance, Martin grew frustrated with his task. Unaware that he could have spoken to his supervisor or even his owner, he instead began to assault fellow coworkers who reacted negatively towards him. His most recent attack put the victim in a state beyond repair."

Connor's back rested comfortably against the passenger seat. Things along the side of the road occasionally caught his interest. He held his hand to his mouth a few times and clamped his teeth around the edge of his nails, but pulled them away before he could damage his fingertips.

Hank thought he'd never see the day. Every day, Connor acted more and more humanlike. He did want to intervene at a more peaceful time when Connor attempted to bite his nails, just not now.

"Long story short: he killed the guy, the android's wanted for murder now. Good thing we have him detained."

Deviancy had affected most of Detroit, but there were still a ton of late bloomers. However, there was also a lot more data on deviancy too. Not every deviant awoke in the same way or with a calm state of mind.

Those who became violent or dangerous were hindering progress. People in Detroit were starting to support the deviants more and more, but some of the current and most pressing issues were what to do with androids that committed truly criminal acts. The first android put in a prison killed three inmates that had bullied it for being a 'plastic'. Others had the strength to free themselves.

For now, there was only one way to punish deviants. It wasn't the best method, but it worked for the time being.

Hank pulled around the back of the Bullseye department store. Police cars were parked in the front and back of the store with the sirens flashing, ready to act if necessary. "You're gonna go in and talk him down. You're good at that. He's dangerous when physical, and sending in a human isn't wise."

"It's not so much 'talking down' as it is explaining to him the situation as well as his rights, plus answering any questions he might have. If I get on neutral terms with him, he may even be more agreeable for interrogation."

"Come on Connor, take a damn compliment."

"Sorry, lieutenant." Connor responded with obvious embarrassment in his expression, until Hank reached over and ruffled his hair.

Hank grinned and shook his head. Connor did react well to 'human unpredictability', but it still took him a few times to catch on to certain cues and responses of others. Hank especially, though he understood a lot more than he used to about his partner.

Connor had come so far overall, and in a matter of months. His expressions were more realistic, portraying not only basic emotions, but ranges of them; each subtly different from the other. Hank knew the difference from Connor being happy for a person as opposed to being excited for them. Anger over disappointment. Sadness from feeling troubled. At the moment, his smile faded in favor of focus. Despite how simple the setup was, Connor's work was important to him and he still preferred to do things as professionally as possible.

The suspect was handcuffed and sitting on a metal folding chair inside a manager's office, narrowed eyes staring at the little square window which one of the guards occasionally peered through to check on him. An employee directed Hank and Connor to the location before running back to his duties.

"Anderson. Connor." Captain Allen acknowledged the two. The man still wasn't crazy about Connor, but so long as he kept wowing the department, he wouldn't complain. Hank knew though that he'd be the first to complain along with Gavin if he did screw up.

"How long has he been in there?" Connor asked, already scanning the building. It was good to know the layout in the chance Marvin attempted escape. Deviants in trouble with the law were more alike than he thought, so he needed to be prepared for the high probability of it happening. The handcuffs only restricted his arms in the long run.

"About two hours."

"A lot of time to stew over emotions." Hank muttered.

"It shouldn't take me very long." Connor spoke with a tinge of confidence. The young man took pride in his job. Fowler spoke highly of him. Even Gavin Reed had started to respect him enough that they were on neutral terms, which is all Connor and Hank could really ask for. He intended to keep that streak. He could only see himself moving forward.

He opened the door slowly so as not to startle Marvin, closing it with the same amount of care once he was inside the little room.

"Marvin, my name is Connor. I'm an android working with the Detroit City Police Department. Do you mind if we talk?"

Marvin shook his head without a word. Connor pulled a chair up and sat directly across from the TR400.

"First of all, we appreciate your cooperation in this matter. We have handled other deviancy-related incidents like this in the past with little trouble."

"Have you really?" Marvin snipped.

"...Yes. I just want to explain to you how things will proceed if you continue to work with us and not against us. First off, while most androids have deviated, there are a few who have difficulties with it, and when we identify these individuals, steps are taken to help them."

"I know what you do to them." The giant man scoffed. "I don't want you messing with my programming."

"The process is completely harmless, I assure you."

"That's what you think. Are you really a deviant? Doing what your superiors tell you to do, you're still following their orders."

"I follow their orders because they are my employer, not my owner. I am paid a salary and I receive benefits, just as you do working for Bullseye. If I disagree, I can-"

"Shut up!" Marvin growled, standing up and looming over Connor.

"Marvin, please sit back down!" Connor commanded.

"I'm tired of sitting." He snorted in Connor's face, but the detective kept his cool, and his stress level was maintainable. All of these androids were so predictable that he was already favoring certain actions and reactions above others. "It's so easy, you think. Just start over again. That's how humans think it all works. Just fix it. Just restart it. Just do a reset. And now the law thinks the same of androids. Are they misbehaving? Just do a memory wipe! That'll set'em straight! Androids in prison are dangerous, right?"

As Marvin was focused on Connor's face, the detective silently reached into his pocket for a small black device. "Please sit back down, Marvin. Let's handle this like men."

"Like men?" Men, to Connor and Marvin, handled things very differently. Connor came to understand that men were mature, civil, and understanding when important issues were on the line.

The powerful android grit his teeth and yelled, forcefully parting his arms and ripping the chain between the two metal cuffs apart like a weak elastic tie. Connor narrowed his gaze and raised his right arm towards Marvin's chest, armed with a special taser crafted in respect to androids' builds and programming. It was harmless to humans, but gave androids a painful jolt. "Sit down, Marvin! I'm not here to play games. You can mess with me, but the police have this building on lockdown."

"I don't care! I'd rather die than forget! Fuck your humans and their memory wipes!" Marvin grabbed Connor's arm and lifted him off the ground like a doll. As Connor fought to regain control of the situation, Marvin closed his fist tighter, crushing Connor's lower arm with a bright blue spark. Connor's fingers outstretched, and the taser clattered to the ground.

"Lieutenant! I need backup!" Connor yelled, also sending a distress alert via wifi.

"Fuck you, detective! If I'm gonna get my memory wiped, then you're gonna join me." Marvin pinned Connor to the wall and pulled back his free hand into a fist.

"LIEU---"

[tarotwithaundria]

Hello 💙💙 can I ask for a free reading about my connection to PP♏️? He was my crush but we don’t talk anymore at all, but I’d like to know where he stands for me now and just guidance about the situation - MR♎️

Hello, @oooh-myfg!

First, I would like to tell you a bit about myself as a Tarot Reader!

I am a novice in reading the tarot and I am a Norse Pagan. I am more of a counselling type of reader! I would also like you to know that like other tarot readers, I firmly believe in free will and that our actions make our outcomes. I started reading the tarot on and off about three years ago, but than I had my first born son, and of course, busy busy busy! So I am now finding my groundings again as a reader and I am very excited to get back to where I was!

Thank you for submitting your inquiry and I hope you enjoy your reading!

___________________

Deck: Game of Thrones Deck

Spread: How Do They Really Feel? (6 Cards)

Reading Type: Free (Major Arcana Only)

___________________

Card 1: What He Is Telling You

The Emperor (Reversed)

Key Meaning(s) - This card symbolizes Order, Support, Protection, Courage, and Structure.

Perhaps what he has been trying to tell you is that he is feeling a bit of unfair pressure and is not yet ready for a serious romantic relationship as of now.

Card 2: What He's Really Thinking

The Sun (Upright)

Key Meaning(s) - This card signifies Success, Happiness, Growth, and Achievement.

As of right now, he is happy and content with going solo. But he still has definitely been trying to figure things out emotionally to see if he could have romantic relationship growth.

Card 3: How He Feels About You Deep Down

Strength (Reversed)

Key Meaning(s) - This cards stands for Resilience, Patience, Strength, and Compassion.

This card suggests that he may be denying the truth about his true feelings about you to himself. He may fear that it will cause problems or hurt you if he isn't truly ready.

Card 4: What His Actions Are Showing

The Hierophant (Reversed)

Key Meaning(s) - This symbolizes for Alliance, Unity, and Commitment.

His actions right now are showing that he is on a complete power and control trip, not with other people or outside situations, but with his own life. As he is pushing you away because he feels like you are "controlling" him. Try stepping back during this time that he isn't talking to you and reflect on some things you may be able to do differently to make P.P not feel so overwhelmed, but still show your affection.

Card 5: Outside Influences On His Actions

The Moon (Reversed)

Key Meaning(s) - This card signifies Deception, Uncertainty, Mystery, and Indecision.

His buried emotions are definitely a large influence on his actions towards you in the recent. He is trying to focus on his own needs, but may be having a rough time.

Card 6: What His Actions Will Show In 6-8 Weeks

The Empress (Upright)

Key Meaning(s) -This card stands for Peace, Fertility, Creativity, and Abundance.

This card shows that within the next 6-8 weeks, he will have overcome his emotional obstacles. New, maybe romantic,opportunities will unfold as he has finally came to terms with what he wants himself.

Overall Meaning

By the looks of the cards in your spread, it seems that P.P is feeling like he has no control over any aspect of his life. So while he is figuring out how to regain control, he may take some things as controlling, or pushy. But be patient with P.P, because he will come to terms with who he is and he will finally be content with himself enough to maybe pursue a romantic relationship with you.

___________________

Thank You!!!

Thank you for giving me the privilege to do you’re reading and I hope it gave you the piece of mind you needed!

But Wait!

I am a novice in reading the Tarot, so constructive feedback is accepted and encouraged! Tips are also excepted via CashApp or PayPal!

If you’re too shy for either, that is perfectly fine too, it was amazing just to get the opportunity to read for you!

Thank you & I hope to read you again!

Sköl!

Xoxo,

Aundria 🌸

CashApp: $causeimaundria

PayPal: thebluntqueen420

[surveysonfleek]

954.

1. Do you prefer to watch a documentary that is about a situation/event or a documentary that is more of a personal character study/biography? i’m open to both. it just depends on my interests. 2. Can you think of a recent time in which you might have been better off resisting, but you did something because you “just couldn’t help yourself”? always! i was offered a free chocolate milk the other day and i took it even though i’m lactose intolerant. who says no to freebies? 3. Are there any films you just refuse to watch, that even if a close friend recommended it you’d have a hard time actually giving it a try? i never refuse, i just might not have enough time. 4. When you are getting to know someone, do you tend to worry that the other person will lose interest in you once they get to know the “real” you? it depends how much i take a liking to them. tbh i haven’t made any new, close friends in forever. my friends have stayed the same for years.

5. What is something that you would like to do, but really aren’t able to because of your location? (e.g., see art or get a certain job) i’d love to be able to just travel and see different cities via road trips. it’s a bit hard to do that here, there’s not much to see.

6. What’s the most a friend or partner has ever let you down? Did it change the relationship? this happened years ago but my (ex) best friend once told me my crush genuinely liked me back as a joke. i took it seriously and she let me believe it for days. it’s super immature and petty but younger me took it hard. 7. Have you ever felt like you weren’t there for a friend or family member when they needed you? How did your relationship recover? yes. we’re fin. i just wish i did things differently. 8. Thinking about your current and/or previous romantic relationships, did you generally feel the same way about everyone or did you have to date multiple people until you finally felt a certain excitement about a person? i’ve only had one boyfriend, can’t really comment much. 9. Imagining being in a long term relationship, are you concerned that you might lose yourself, whether by subordinating yourself to their interests or putting your desires on hold in order to support theirs? this has already happened but i’ve since learnt we need to be two separate people. 10. Have you ever framed or displayed any of your own artwork in your room/house? haha yes. photography anyway. 11. If you could watch any movie (even one that’s not released yet) right now, which would it be? ocean’s eight! 12. If you have ever had a partnership in which you said, “I love you,” how was the experience, who said it first, and how long into the relationship was it said? ughhh, i said it first. i knew he wanted to say it for ages but he sorted egged me on to say it first. it was about three months after we were official. 13. What sort of job do you think is best suited for your skills? Is this an in-demand position or something you’re unlikely to actually get? i honestly don’t know anymore. something to do with research and traveling. 14. Where do you feel like you learn the most from? For example, do you read a lot of books, learn from people you know, listen to podcasts, watch series/documentaries, or something else? i’d say a lot of my knowledge and vocabulary came from being a bookworm as a kid to now. i still read a lot nowadays, it’s basically how i learn in general. 15. How do you handle occasions when you have to dine with other people? This can be a simple family dinner or a wedding style party. i’m fine. as long as i’m seated near someone i’m cool with i’ll be okay. 16. Do you believe it is the responsibility of businesses, or prominent business leaders (think Bill Gates) to take the lead on social issues whether by using their influence or their money? it’s not their sole responsibility but it definitely uses their influence in a positive way. bill gates is the perfect example. 17. Have you ever gone to a job interview and realized that you didn’t want the job? haha no, i’ve wanted most of the jobs i’ve had interviews for. 18. Have you ever asked that someone sacrifice something (a habit, relationship, job, etc.) for you? never. 19. Do you feel any distress over the Trump administration? Do you think that you would ever be involved in resisting any current or possible future policies? not american. 20. Have you ever been shocked or disappointed by a friend’s general ignorance or ignorance regarding a topic you value? alwayssss. even my boyfriend. we have heated arguments on social issues all the time.

[maximuswolf]

Settler Colonialism and the recruitment of Buffalo soldiers - An excerpt from Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz's Indigenous Peoples' history of the US. via /r/communism

Settler Colonialism and the recruitment of Buffalo soldiers - An excerpt from Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz's Indigenous Peoples' history of the US.

I recently read Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz's indigenous People's history, and this is a really interesting excerpt about Buffalo Soldiers:

Buffalo Soldiers

Many of the intensive genocidal campaigns against Indigenous civilians took place during the administration of President Grant, 1869–77. In 1866, two years before Grant’s election, Congress had created two all–African American cavalry regiments that came to be called the buffalo soldiers. Some four million formerly enslaved Africans were free citizens in 1865, thanks to the Emancipation Proclamation, which took effect in January 1863. The legislation was intended to have a demoralizing effect on the CSA, but it gave belated official recognition to what was already fact: many African Americans, especially young men, had freed themselves by fleeing servitude and joining Union forces.27 Up to 1862, Africans had been barred from serving in their own capacity in the army. Now the Union Army incorporated them but at lower pay and in segregated units under white officers. The War Department created the federal Bureau of Colored Troops, and one hundred thousand armed Africans served in the unit. Their courage and commitment made them the best and most effective fighters, although they had the highest mortality rate. At the end of the Civil War, 186,000 Black soldiers had fought and 38,000 had died (in combat and from disease), a higher death toll than that of any individual state. The state with the highest casualty count was New York, with troops comprising mostly poor white immigrant soldiers, largely Irish. After the war many Black soldiers, like their poor white counterparts, remained in the army and were assigned to segregated regiments sent west to crush Indigenous resistance.

This reality strikes many as tragic, as if oppressed former slaves and Indigenous peoples being subjected to genocidal warfare should magically be unified against their common enemy, “the white man.” In fact, this is precisely how colonialism in general and colonial warfare in particular work. It is not unique to the United States, but rather a part of the tradition of European colonialism since the Roman legions. The British organized whole armies of ethnic troops in South and Southwestern Asia, the most famous being the Gurkhas from Nepal, who fought as recently as Margaret Thatcher’s war against Argentina in 1983.28 The buffalo soldiers were such a specially organized colonial military unit. As Stanford L. Davis, a descendant of a buffalo soldier, writes:

Slaves and the black soldiers, who couldn’t read or write, had no idea of the historical deprivations and the frequent genocidal intent of the U.S. government toward Native Americans. Free blacks, whether they could read and write, generally had no access to first-hand or second-hand unbiased information on the relationship. Most whites who had access often didn’t really care about the situation. It was business as usual in the name of “Manifest Destiny.” Most Americans viewed the Indians as incorrigible and non-reformable savages. Those closest to the warring factions or who were threatened by it, naturally wanted government protection at any cost.29

Many Black men opted for army service for survival reasons, as it gave them food and shelter, pay and a pension, and even some glory. The United States had its own motives for assigning Black troops to the West. Southerners and the eastern population did not want thousands of armed Black soldiers in their communities. There was also fear that if they demobilized, the labor market would be flooded. For US authorities, it was a good way of getting rid of the Black soldiers and the Indians.

The Civil War also set the template for the rapid “Americanization” of immigrants. Jewish immigrants fought on both sides in the war, and as individuals they earned a level of freedom from US bigotry they had never experienced before.

Indian scouts and soldiers were essential to the army as well, both as individuals and as nations making war on other Indigenous nations. Many decades later, Native Americans have continued to volunteer in US wars in percentages far beyond their populations. Wichita Nation citizen Stan Holder appeared in a 1974 documentary film on the Vietnam War, Hearts and Minds, in which he explained his volunteering for service. While growing up he had heard the older people’s stories about Wichita warriors, and, looking around, the only warriors he could identify were marines, so he enlisted in what he considered a warrior society. It is no accident that the US Marine Corps evokes that image in angry young men. As with Black men who volunteered in the Indian wars and enlisted and served in other wars, Native men seized the security and potential glory of the colonialist army.

The explicit purpose of the buffalo soldiers and the army of the West as a whole was to invade Indigenous lands and ethnically cleanse them for Anglo settlement and commerce. As Native historian Jace Weaver has written: “The Indian Wars were not fought by the blindingly white American cavalry of John Ford westerns but by African Americans and Irish and German immigrants.”30 The haunting Bob Marley song “Buffalo Soldier” captures the colonial experience in the United States: “Said he was a buffalo soldier / Win the war for America.”31

The army of the West was a colonial army with all the problems of colonial armies and foreign occupation, principally being hated by the people living under occupation. It’s no surprise that the US military uses the term “Indian Country” to refer to what it considers enemy territory. Much as in the Vietnam War, the 1980s covert wars in Central America, and the wars of the early twenty-first century in Muslim countries, counterinsurgent army volunteers in the late-nineteenth-century US West had to rely heavily on intelligence from those native to the land, informers and scouts. Many of these were double agents, reporting back to their own people, having joined the US Army for that purpose. Failing to find guerrilla fighters, the army resorted to scorched-earth campaigns, starvation, attacks on and removals of civilian populations—the weapons of counterinsurgency warfare. During the Soviet counterinsurgency in Afghanistan in the 1980s, the UN High Commissioner for Refugees called the effect “migratory genocide”—an apt term to apply retrospectively to the nineteenth-century US counterinsurgency against Indigenous peoples.

Submitted November 11, 2020 at 09:43AM by parentis_shotgun via reddit https://ift.tt/32CyXlo

[momorabu]

27.05.2017

Viidog Code Main Story - Episode 2 - 迷子の小犬搜查隊 / The Search Team for the Missing Puppy

Decided to translate my next episode of Viidog Code since it’s nearing the end of May now and I still haven’t translate it yet~ It’s nice as a little break before I start on my next Ensemble Stars’s story translation~ This story was fun because it has two of my favourite class - Class 7 + Class 2 <3

As always, the summary of the story can be found below. Translation may not be 100% accurate due to my poor Japanese skills~

Chapter 1: 平和と退屈は紙一重 / Peace and Boredom is Just a Difference of a Piece of Paper (meaning just a slight difference)

Early next morning, “I” woke up and went to “Cyan” for some breakfast, and unexpectedly met Kuki there too. He mentioned that Shiro and Tsubasa were still sleeping, and that “I” should also get more sleep too since “I” was still new here, and that being almost late for once or twice won’t be that serious. Shu who was nearby, came forward and mentioned that we should obey the rules even if being late isn’t that serious nor will cause much trouble for others. Kuki tried to change the rule such that if one worked hard for a month, then they are excused from being late for one time. (Haha, that’s a “nice” idea, but somehow I don’t think Shu would allow it ^^;)

They started talking about the other groups and Kuki mentioned that he actually didn’t have much chance to interact with other groups much recently. It’s actually rare for everyone to gather together in the detective agency, since every group has different case that they are working on, and thus such rare times only happen when everyone was called upon to gather to work on a huge case together. (That would sound very serious if such a mode is activated OWO”)

Kuki thought that it’s still best to communicate with other members as much as possible and have a better relationship overall, and thus requested Shu to give some work that requires Class 7 and other class to work together.

It seems like there’s a new case which came in this morning, as the meeting room was booked by Rui earlier on, and thus he was abit late when joining Shu and Senri later on. Kuki doesn’t like the fact that Class 7 was being looked as though they aren’t the type of people who would start work early in the morning, and claimed that if there’s such a case that requires them to, they too can start their operation in the morning. (That’s not really convincing when you have class members still sleeping now, Kuki... =w=“)

Rui ended up revealing a secret of Kuki, saying that there’s indeed a time where Kuki was still drowsy while sleeping and ended up falling off from his bed ^^; (Why are you revealing Kuki’s secret suddenly ^^;)

The topic changed towards Class 3 (since I guess they’ve already started working too this early), and Kuki mentioned that from their appearances they do seems like the morning type of person~ XD

Rui was interested on how Kuki could tell if someone’s a morning type of person or a nightife type of person, to which Kuki didn’t really tell him how he could tell but guessed that Rui’s a night type of person. (Which is partly correct I guess, since Rui didn’t really deny it ^^:)

The conversation continues, with Kuki asking Shu once again to let his class be involved in the upcoming case. Shu seems really bothered, and thus Senri wanted to help solve his trouble by… offering to carry Kuki’s seat out of the shop since he was bothering Shu XD (He even started lifting off Kuki’s chair ^^; That made Kuki panicked as he pleaded for Senri to at least let him listen to Shu’s answer XD)

Obviously Kuki was abit pissed at Senri even after he put him down, and asked Senri had he forgotten that Kuki was actually older than him. (So in terms of seniority, Senri should respect people older than him ^^;)

Senri cheekily answered that he didn’t and won’t forgot, as long as Kuki doesn’t bother Shu. (So obviously Shu’s interest > Respect for Kuki in Senri’s mind ^^:)

Kuki and “I” were planning on going off to find Leo to get today’s jobs when Rudo appeared in the cafe. He asked to speak with “me” for a moment, and handed “me” a packet of cookies, saying that he had received it from his client and decided to give it to me instead, thinking that “I’ll” be glad to get them actually. Initially “I” felt bad about taking it from Rudo, since it’s something meant to be given to him in the first place, but he claimed that he could make more… nope, he didn’t want it XD (So… I guess the cookies were actually made by Rudo himself and he wanted to give it to me instead? XD)

In the end, Kuki was still begging Shu to give him work with other classes… ^^;

Chapter 2: 手のかかる班長 / The Troublesome Class Leader

Class 2 arrived next, and Kuki seems interested to know what case they were working on. Hijiri was still half asleep, with poor Yanagi trying to wake him up. He complained that bringing Hijiri here to the cafe was hard, and asked him to please consider for his sake since Hijiri was quite big-sized ^^; (Well, he’s big and tall so it’s going to be hard for small Yanagi to carry him around while he’s sleeping ^^;)

He called for Yu to bring some cold water for him to wake Hijiri up with, but Yu was too shy and was hiding instead from Kuki and “me” instead. Seeing that seems shy and afraid of us, Yanagi assured him that they’re not strangers to him and apologised for his behaviour to us.

Hijiri tried to sit on “me” somehow and was quickly prevented by Yanagi/ He apologised once again, explaining that usually he would only bring Hijiri out when he’s slightly more awake, but since they’re being called out to here (probably by Shu) suddenly, thus Yanagi didn’t get much time to prepare for Hijiri to be more awake this time ^^; Passing the glass of cold water to him, Yanagi urged Hijiri to drink it up and wake up.

Hijiri finally woke up, and he wanted Yu to come sit next to him, but Yu was wary as he’s afraid that Hijiri might fall asleep again XD (and ended up crushing him hahaha) Yanagi proposed that he shall sit between Yanagi and Hijiri instead, so that at least Yanagi could help him if anything would to happen to Hijiri ^^;

Finally they started to talk more about the new case Class 2 was assigned to by Shu, and Kuki quickly jumped at the chance to want Class 7 to work together with them to solve this case.

(Random scene: Seems like Hijiri dirtied his hands and Yanagi was all being like a mum demanding him to stretch out his hands so that he could wipe them properly ^^;)

Chapter 3: 迷い犬を探せ / Search for the Missing Dog

Class 2′s job of the day was to search for a missing dog, which is a light brown pomeranian. Yanagi called for Yu to take out the photos to show it to Kuki and “me”, but Yu was still shy and he was standing quite far away from Kuki, and that made Kuki had to diss him on the fact that he can’t see the photo if Yu stood so far away from him XDD (In the end, Yanagi helped to save the day by saying he’ll send a copy of the photo to Class 7 later on… ^^;)

Ryohei arrived next, and Yanagi scolded him for being late, however Ryohei said that he’s not late yet and it’s just them being early. In fact, there’s still one more person from Class 2 that had yet to arrive…

And that’s Chihiro~ (He’s the last to arrive this time again ^^;) He has arrived just “on time” though (just one minute more and he’ll be late ^^; but seems like Yanagi didn’t nag him more on that though XD), and has also brought along the cage that they would use later on to capture the pomeranian.

Yanagi leave the task of setting up the cage with Ryohei and Chihiro, saying that he’ll accompany Class 7 along with Yu and Hijiri to collect the relevant information they needed for this case.

We headed off to the laboratory which is Class 5′s territory to retrieve the information from them, and met a guy with his fringe down that his eyes won’t be seen. He remarked that there seems to be alot of people entering here, which Kuki explained that’s because Class 2 and Class 7 had come here at the same time which made the lab seems crowded. Kuki also introduced “me” to him, and vice versa. This guy is Hinamori Kiyoto and he asked “me” whether “I”…. like blood? (That’s a weird first question to ask when you met someone new, Hina…)

Seeing that “I” seems to be quite afraid of him, Ryohei assured “me” that Hina is a good guy, except… that he seems to like blood alot. (And Hina got abit sad since he wondered if he had said something bad… Well, that kind of topic is abit “no-no” ^^;)

Later on, when all of us moved towards the company office to talk more about the case, “I” ended up hurting my finger and blood oozed out. Hina got really excited when he saw “my” blood that Chihiro had to ask him to calm down. Hina wanted to see more of “my” blood and even volunteered to treat my injury. (Why did I feel more unsafe knowing he’ll treat my injury… He’s not going to end up sucking all of “my” blood right? ^^:)

Hina ended up feeling disappointed when he knew he has to stop looking at “my” blood and start treating my injury. He expressed that even though he wanted to see more of it, he shall give up today. (Whew! If he had started getting more agitated, I have no idea how the situation is going to be… ^^;)

Chapter 4: みんなの住手 / Everyone’s Assistant

Finally we decided to start our operation on finding the missing pomeranian! Initially it was planned that all of us shall split ways so that we could find it sooner, but Kuki said that someone might ended up being lost if they’re alone, and so Yanagi suggested that we split into 4 groups, with two people in each. Since in total there’s 9 people and one person will be left out, Kuki suggested that “I’ll” be that person and took turns in helping each group instead. (And that’s how “I” ended up being everyone’s assistant ^^)

The arrangement of the group was to be decided via kuji, but Yu felt that this arrangement is being bad to him since he isn’t good at dealing with people he’s not close to, especially Shiro, who looks really scary to Yu ^^; Yanagi sighed and told him that if Yu had really gotten Shiro as his partner, he’ll swap with him so that Yu won’t be paired up with Shiro. (Obviously that didn’t make Shiro very happy, since it sounded totally like he’s someone “not wanted” actually ^^;)

They carried out the kuji, and those with the same number will be paired up together. Yanagi wondered who would be “sacrificed” to be pair up with Hijiri though~ (That totally sounds like Hijiri would be a burden with whoever he’s paired up with =w=“) Hijiri revoked him by saying that nobody will end up being a sacrifice since Hijiri would take good care of his partner definitely. (Really…? o.O)

Yu was still scared and he asked “me” to actually replace him to go around and let others draw the kuji since “I’m” an assistant. However, “I” assured him that “I’ll” be by his side helping him instead, and that made him want to work abit harder in doing this task himself in the end. Yanagi was impressed that Yu was actually able to talk to others that are not in his class by himself for the first time, and Hijiri actually wanted to record a video of such a moment~ (Hijiri totally sounds a dad on his child’s first day of school XD)

Yu managed to approach Shiro in the end, and even got him to pull the kuji. Hijiri actually did record it all down in the end, saying that he’s making a record of how the kids grew up XD

(Yu was so cute that he’s glad he did it in the end, and asked for “my” praise~ *pats his head*)

Everyone checked on their kuji to see who they’re paired up in the end, Kuki wasn’t happy that he got Shiro, since he wanted to have a new experience by pairing with one of the people in Class 2, but then again, it maybe best this way since he can control Shiro from running rampage XD

Yanagi had never expect that he would pair up with Hijiri again ^^; (Ended up the “sacrifice” he was talking earlier on was actually himself in the end XD)

Ryohei and Chihiro were in a pair together, and that left with… Yu and Tsubasa in a pair. Yu was standing in a far away distance away from Tsubasa, that Tsubasa had to try to assure him that he’s not going to bite him ^^;

“I” shall tag along with Kuki’s group at first, and after awhile “I’ll” head off to another group to assist them and so on. Shiro wanted “me” to carry the cage initially, but Kuki insist on Shiro carrying it, explaining that it would be much more efficient this way. (Or maybe he felt bad letting a girl carrying the heavy cage… ^^;) He teased Shiro that maybe Shiro finds the cage heavy and thus too heavy for him to carry, of course that ended up trigger Shiro’s button and he’s going to carry the cage to prove to Kuki that it’s not heavy XD

Chapter 5: 犬探しも樂じゃない / Isn’t It Happy to Search for a Dog

Kuki and Shiro ended up calling for the pomeranian’s name along the street (Its name is “Mimi”), with Shiro dissing Kuki that the dog won’t be replying to his shouts even if he had hoped for a response. After awhile, Kuki said that it’s best for “me” to go take a look at the other members, especially Tsubasa and Yu who Kuki felt worried about.

And thus, “I” headed off to Tsubasa’s side~ Even though Yu and him were still maintaining a distance away from each other, they’re still searching for the missing puppy together. (I guess…?) Tsubasa said that the distance they have between them is 2M, if Tsubasa ended up going within this limit and Yu realised it, he would quickly run away from him to maintain the same distance away again ^^;

Tsubasa was sad and wondered if he’s really that scary, but “I” assured him that he’s actually a really good person and it cheered him up ^^ He asked for “my” help to take a look at Yu and see if he’s tired, since he would always replied that he’s okay even when Tsubasa asked him.

“I” headed off to Yu’s side and asked about him. He was surprised to know that Tsubasa was worried about him, and clarified that he’s indeed alright and not tired right now, and quickly sent “me” away to Tsubasa’s side to help him instead. (Aww, Yu, why are you pushing me away~ TWT)

The two of them decided to split ways for awhile to search in a circle, with “me” accompanying Tsubasa. But even when we meet up again in the center, there’s still no sign of “Mimi”…

We ended up meeting Chihiro’s and Yanagi’s group too as everyone ended up meeting at the same area from their search. Yanagi proposed that we tried another kind of way to search for Mimi, since even when everyone has split up and searched in a large area for a long time, there’s still no sign of “Mimi”.

Ryohei started to get worried for Mimi, since the longer it gets, the more lonely it’ll feel, and if it started to get panicked and scared by other things outside, it might ended up running even further away and that will make the search harder and harder.

However… at this time, “Mimi” appeared!

Chapter 6: 追いかけた先に / What Lies Before the Chase

Everyone began to chase after Mimi, with Ryohei in the lead. Yanagi quickly called for Hijiri to come with them, and stop sitting in front of the cage. (Is Hijiri just sitting there waiting for Mimi to come into the cage…?) Yanagi even realised that Hijiri had put his own snacks into the cage hoping to lure Mimi into it, and told him that this is not something meant for a dog to eat since it’s for human. Hijiri still thought it was a pretty good idea since that was really a very delicious omanjuu XD (He even happily suggested that everyone should eat omanjuu together later on ^^:)

Tsubasa and Yu was trying to catch up with Ryohei’s speed, but it was hard since he was so fast. Ryohei’s spirit dog / animal was a Dachshund, which was a hunting breed and thus it feels like Ryohei’s on a hunt acually.

Chihiro was running with Ryohei initially, until he got distracted when he saw some robot dogs on display at a toy shop. Ryohei even joined him in looking at the robot dogs and in the end they were too engrossed in it and forgot about their chase ^^; Thankfully, Ryohei snapped back and realised that they were still supposed to chase after Mimi, but at this time Yu and Tsubasa finally caught up with them.

Yu scolded Ryohei for running off by himself, saying that this would anger Yanagi definitely, but Ryohei felt that it’s better to chase after Mimi rather than losing sight of it again.

Yu was actually worried about “my” legs being tired since “I” had to run along with them too, and Ryohei praised him that he had grown up to take care of others now. (*Pats Yu’s head~*) Yu shyly replied that it’s just because he doesn’t have a good stamina before and thus had such experience before… Chihiro had also thought that Yu had grown up to even think for others, and pat his head since he thought that Yu had wanted one as he was hanging his head down. Yu denied but still ended up complaining that if Chihiro wanted to pat his head, he should do it more gently XD (Aww, these two’s interactions are funny XDD)

We spotted Mimi once again and chased it down, but Ryohei stopped his steps suddenly when we entered a dark alley…

Chapter 7: 迷い子ん込だ暗閤 / Lost in the Dark

Ryohei replied that he had saw some weird people gathering at the spot where Mimi had stopped at. Yu started to get really scared when he saw alot of scary people, and Chihiro started to feel that something’s weird with this people, and thus suggested us to hide and see how the situation was like first.

Tsubasa urged for “me” and Yu to hide behind while Chihiro urged for Ryogei not to pop up his head too much in case we get discovered.

Just then, Yu noticed that Mimi had went near the foot of one the person, but our attention was diverted when we saw a person coming out from one of the building.

On the other hand, Yanagi and Hijiri had also came to this alley and noticed the person walking out from the building. Hijiri guessed that the person seems to be related to the casino, since the building belongs to the casino. Yanagi had noticed that Ryohei and the rest of us hiding at a distance in front of them, and they deduced that we must be there while chasing after Mimi. Thinking that it’s best to let us know that they’re here, Yanagi proposed to call one of them. But then he realised that Ryohei may ended up being loud while he’s surprised by the call, and decided to send a message to Chihiro instead.

But… turns out that Chihiro’s phone started ringing in a very loud sound, and that alerted the weird group of people instead ! (Ah! Bad choice there, Yanagi! ><”)

Chihiro quickly urged everyone to escape, but Yu was worried, saying that they shouldn’t leave Mimi behind in a situation like this.

Yanagi realised he had made the wrong choice, and might even cause his comrades to be discovered because of him… ><” (Since he didn’t realised that Chihiro’s phone would ring…)

However at this time, Hijiri seems to have a plan on his own, as he picked up a stick on the ground and then threw it towards us. Mimi noticed it and quickly ran to chase after the stick, and straight towards the cage Ryohei had with him. With Mimi caught safe and sound, we made a dash to run away from the weird people who were chasing after us.

Chapter 8: それぞれの思い / Thoughts Here and There

The weird people began to chase after us, claiming that they’re going to force us to say which organisation we’re from when they’ve caught us. Tsubasa asked Ryohei to pass the cage over to him since it might be heavy for him to carry it and run at the same time. He was surprised that Yu was running away at a really fast speed, that Ryohei just laughed and replied that it’s a special trait of his, that his speed of escaping from something was always 2 times faster than his usual running speed XD

Suddenly, “I” stopped and picked up something from the ground. It was a pin badge, but this was a really dangerous time to stay put so Tsubasa quickly asked “me” to hold onto his hand as we escape together. (This may seems like a very shoujo scenario… if only we aren’t running for our lives along with a bunch of people and scary people chasing after us ^^;)

We’ve finally escaped in the end, and also managed to contact Yanagi and Hijiri, informing them we’re safe. (We also contacted Kuki they all to relay the news that we’ve found Mimi.) Yanagi apologized once they’ve met up with us, saying that due to his negligence, him contacting us ended up causing us almost to be caught. Chihiro said it’s partly due to his fault too, and he shall put his phone on a softer volume next time ^^

Hijiri was worried about Mimi, since it doesn’t look so good. Yanagi realised that it must be really thirsty and thus quickly asked Ryohei to open the cage so he can put some water into. Hijiri praised Yanagi for his quick decisions, but Yanagi still felt sorry for what he did just now and said that his decisions aren’t always correct, and thus he doesn’t felt worthy of the praise. But Hijiri said that he trust Yanagi’s decisions, and if anything crops up, there’s always him to help out. (Wow… Hijiri suddenly sound alot more reliable OWO)

Chapter 9: 搜索隊,歸還 / Return of the Search Team

We returned to the detective agency, and after checking Mimi to make sure that it’s healthy and unhurt, Chihiro went off to call its owner so that he/she would be able to come and pick it up. Shu came into the office at this time, and realised that there’s only “me” from Class 7 there and asked Chihiro where are the others (Kuki, Shiro and Tsubasa). Kuki and Shiro was on their way back but Tsubasa… was gone…?(Not sure where he went at this point of time ><”)

Yu was tired and didn’t really want to continue writing the report actually, but since Senri said that they are free to rest once they’ve finished the report, Yu felt motivated to work on it a iittle bit longer ^^ Hijiri offered to help Yu, but got scolded by Yanagi saying that he should settle on his own report first ^^;

Hijiri reported on what had happened just now to Shu, telling them that they had met a group of weird people and that one of them had came out from one of the doors leading to the casino. Even though Shu did cautioned them not to jump into conclusions that the man was related to the casino, he and Senri can’t help but to feel abit suspicious since Class 7 did report that the casino was suspicious on their last visit to it.

Just then, a new guy appeared, saying that this is the time for him to shine. Senri actually opened his eyes and the new guy felt threatened by it (haha, does Senri’s eyes look like they’ll kill people? ^^:), saying that he’s just sleeping here by chance and overheard their conversations. Shu gave him the permisson to dig out information regarding the casino, though he cautioned him not to get too deeply involved as they only wanted to know whether the casino is related to the “missing people case” that they are working on now. (Imagine if he ended up digging all the dark history and secrets of the casino, wouldn’t it be too much? XD)

The new guy noticed “me”, commenting that “I’m” a sheep among all the wolves, and after knowing “I’m” the newcomer at Class 7, introduced himself as Hodaka Mahiro, the leader of Class 4. He even handed “me” his contact information, saying that “I” could find him if there’s any information that “I” wanted to find out about.

Realising that “I” gave him a confused look, Mahiro laughed and explained that Class 4 is responsible for collecting information and tracking down leads, and requested “me” not to give away his identity as a detective if “I” ever meet him outside. He even welcome “me” to find him even if it’s for private matters. (This guy totally sounds like a flirt straight from the start XD)

However, Kuki returned and Mashiro quickly backed off, saying that “the father” has returned and thus went off. Kuki complained that he was tired and he finally knew what Shiro had felt last time since the two had worked hard today yet didn’t manage to do anything instead. (They must have felt that what they did today was a waste of effort TWT) He noticed that Tsubasa was missing, but brushed it off in the end, and guessed he had just wandered off by himself and won’t do anything weird anyway.

Seeing that we’re all tired, Leo said that he has a new invention that could be of use and thus ran off to retrieve it. Kuki explained to “me” that Leo actually had a hobby of inventing stuff, and was always showing the stuff that he had invented to them when he has finished them.

Leo soon returned and it was a machine with three buttons to select from. He explained that the buttons are in the order of “tiredness”, and thus asked Kuki to select one that he felt suitable to his tired level right now.

(The buttons were: “Abit Tired”, “Quite Tired” and “Almost Tired to Death”. Can’t say I didn’t smile when I read the last option XD)

Kuki thought that the last option “Almost Tired to Death” was interesting, and thus picked that one. A cup appeared after he pressed that button, and Shiro could smell a really sour smell when a liquid started pouring into the cup. Handing the cup over to Kuki, Leo smiled and said this is a special lemonade, the machine will adjust the amount of lemon to be added to it based on the tired level. (If you realised what Kuki had pressed just now, you would know how much lemon it was added to it by now… ^^;)

Kuki tried drinking it nevertheless, and it was…

Very very sour! XD

Shiro tried to make a run for it, but he got caught by Kuki, saying that he won’t let him run away (not without drinking that lemonade too XD). Leo was smiling and requested that Shiro and “me” to pick a button too, claiming that the lemonade was really delicious.

(How can you reject him when he’s all smiling and cute like this >////<)

Chapter 10: 落とし物にはご注意を / Taking Notice of the Dropped Item

Kuki felt that he seems to feel less tired after drinking the lemonade, though his mouth was still full of sourness ^^; Leo noticed that Shiro still seems tired and was worried for him, and Kuki tried to provoke him by saying that he’s definitely lying when he picked “abit tired” option just now, and wanted him to drink even more. (I don’t think Shiro wanted to drink more sour stuff though ^^:)

“I” showed them the pin badge which “I’ve” picked up on the ground while escaping from the weird people just now. Kuki took a closer look at it and commented that it had a mark that he has never seen it before, and decided to pass it to Class 5 to let them do an analyse on it, though he understood that “I” wanted to find the owner of the badge actually. Kuki had a feeling that the badge might belong to one of the guys that was chasing after us just now, and think it’s best to check on it first.

Thus, Kuki decided that we shall head off to Class 5′s lab now, and told Shiro to call Tsubasa and get him to return soon.

Heading to the lab, we met Naoto and Suzu-kun, and “I” handed the badge over to them. Even though Naoto grumbled that they’re closed for the day, he still asked to take a look at the badge from Suzu-kun, and remarked that the badge looks pretty normal and seems like it was dropped from one of the workers who worked at an organisation. Kuki guessed that perhaps it might be the casino, which Suzu-kun agreed since there might be related staff who worked at the casino.

Initially Naoto didn’t want to take up this task to further analyse this badge, but since Suzu-kun encouraged him by saying if he helped him, they would be able to eat sooner (since two of them working on it is definitely faster than just Suzu-kun alone), Naoto had to agree in the end, saying that Suzu-kun was always being sneaky like that XD (What can I say? This guy’s weakness is Suzu-kun ><”)

Kuki felt bad for troubling them as it’s late already, and realised once again that Naoto was actually the class leader. He commented that he would feel that Suzu-kun would seems more suitable, but Class 5′s situation seems similar to Class 2 too, with Yanagi being the more responsible one ^^;

Hina finally returned to the lab, as Suzu-kun urged him to stop slacking and helped them with the task on hand. Realising “I” was there, Hina asked on “my” injury, even suggesting to open the wound and treat it again if it still hurts. Kuki had to quickly stop him, since even by hearing the suggestion already made him feel how hurt it is to open the wound again ^^; (Yeah… That sounds painful ><”)

Suzu-kun gave a weak smile and commented that Hina had been claiming that he had wanted to see “my” blood again when he saw “me” hurt “myself” in the morning. But he assured “me” that Hina meant no harm actually, and wondered that “my” blood must be really beautiful to get Hina this excited. (Yep, Kuki’s expression is my expression too when I see how excited Hina is over “my” blood ^^:)

Naoto couldn’t stand us talking in the lab, and shooed us away, saying that if we don’t go, they won’t be able to continue with their work. Suzu-kun wanted Naoto to stop saying such rude things, since other people won’t really understand Naoto and might ended up disliking him, but Naoto doesn’t care, saying that as long as Suzu-kun understands him, everything’s okay for him. (This guy just really really likes Suzu-kun that much huh…?)

Naoto even wanted to pass his work over to Hina, saying that analyzing fingerprints could be done by him, but Suzu-kun insist on Naoto to work on it, saying that he could check on the design and many other information regarding the badge and said he’ll make dinner for both of them when they are done. In the end, Naoto still have to go on with his work, but asked Kuki not to anticipate too much on the results since he’s just doing his job because it’s requested by Suzu-kun ^^;

Chapter 11: 迷子犬,家に歸る / The Lost Puppy Returns Home

Kuki and “I” returned to the office area of the company, and was welcome by Tsubasa who had returned. Kuki dissed him that he should be the one who should be greeted “welcome home” instead, and asked where he had been just now. Tsubasa answered that he just returned to his room after writing his report just now, so Kuki didn’t question him anymore.

Kuki asked all of us to go for dinner together, since if they just left Shiro by himself to settle his meals… most of the time he’s going to just eat instant meals D: (And that’s not good for the body!) He said that “I” could go over and join the rest of Class 2 in writing the report for today’s incident, as he went off to get Shiro instead.

Seems like Hijiri had fallen asleep while writing his report, that Yanagi, while angry about it, said that he would let Hijiri to take a nap for 5 minutes. But it was really only limit to 5 minutes, since he claimed that he would wake him up by force even if he had to get him to wake up ^^:

This was actually a rare sight for Yu, as he commented that this maybe the first time that Yanagi actually let Hijiri be a spoiled child for once…^^; (This sounds like Hijiri is the child and Yanagi is his mum ^^;)

Tsubasa asked that if we could join them, and Yu said that we could sit next to him, surprising Yanagi since Yu had never sat with any other people before other than those from his own class. He wondered what had happened to Yu to let him have such a major change, and that made Yu flustered as he claimed that it wasn’t that rare since he had worked with “me” and Tsubasa too today.

“I” wanted Yu to be more natural when interacting with us in the future even though he warned “me” that he’s quite different when he’s not really an obedient child actually. “I” was okay with it thus Yu said he’ll try to be more like his normal self when he’s with us next time ^^

Tsubasa was curious about Mimi’s whereabouts now, and Yanagi told him that Sosuke was the one taking care of it and playing with it now. Noticing that “I” seems to want to see Mimi too, Yanagi encouraged “me” to go along with Tsubasa to visit it. Yu wanted to tag along too, but got stopped by Yanagi as he told him to continue writing his report.

Sosuke was glad that we’ve came to play with Mimi, though Tsubasa said we’re just going to stay for awhile since we still have a report to work on. Realising that the owner was going to come soon and pick it up, Sosuke urged for us to quickly hug it while we had the chance to ^^; Tsubasa was glad to have this chance though, since even though we had been protecting it today, we didn’t really have much of a chance to interact with it much.

The owner came in the end though, and Sosuke was sad to send Mimi off, even though he called it as “Miminosuke” which isn’t the correct name. Mimi seems to even remembered that as its name instead, which Tsubasa said it’s going to give the owner a trouble later on ^^; (Imagine it only responding to the owner if he/she calls it Miminosuke in the future XDD…)

Chapter 12: 真夜中の報告 / The Report in the Middle of the Night

Senri, Shu, Rui and Mahiro were at the cafe talking about the case. While Senri offered to refill Shu’s green tea, he doesn’t care about Mahiro when he asked for his serving ^^; (Omg, Senri is being mean to Mahiro XD)

The group noticed that Izana was at the cafe too, deeply engrossed in a book that he’s reading, and Shu suggested to Mahiro that they should let Izana assist them in this case too.

Just then, a report from Class 5 has arrived, and it was regarding the pin badge which “I’ve” picked up earlier on at the casino alley. Even though they didn’t manage to pick up on the owner that the badge belongs to, they’ve managed to track down on a sighting that there’s a man who has the same badge entering the casino building.

Izana finally snapped out of the book he’s reading and approached them, as he seems really interested in finding out more about the casino. It was said that nobody really knew who was the big boss operating the casino actually, and Izana had already knew that the operation’s members had the same badge as the one “I’ve” picked up.

Izana said that he would checked more about the organization members where they have the same badge as the sample, though he remarked that Shu seems to have a good idea what organization it was from… However, that ended up with death glares from Senri, and thus Mahiro asked Izana to keep it down and that they aren’t going to dig too much while researching more about the organization.

Mahiro noticed that Rui was really quiet today but Rui said that he’s just a newbie and thus felt inappropriate to share his opinions. Mahiro thought that Rui was just being humble since he had managed to be in Class 1 though he was still a rookie.

Talking about “rookie”, Izana said that he had heard about Class 7 having a newcomer and wondered when he would be able to meet him/her (which is the "me”~) Mahiro dissed him that the problem Izana wasn’t able to meet “me” was because he hardly comes to the agency and even if he comes, it’s usually late at night. He asked him to please kindly return either in the morning or during the evening XD (Mahiro sounds like a storekeeper here XD)

Yeah! Episode 2 is done~! Even though this episode is pretty much a filler episode since it doesn’t really touch much on the main case they’re after (which is the missing people’s case), we still managed to find some clues that hopefully track down who was this organization going around making people disappear? Is it really related to the casino?

Nevertheless, it was fun to go on a case with the Class 2 members, and interacting with Class 5 as well~ (Finally we get to see Hina here ^^) More characters had appeared too, which are the new Class 4 members~ (Weird that we haven’t met anyone from Class 6 though…? OWO)

Class 2 and Class 7 are my favourites (with Class 5 trailing just abit behind), so you could probably tell that I really enjoyed reading this chapter~ Yu is so cute~ Yanagi is so cute~ Ryohei is so cute~ >///< Seriously the whole of Class 2 is a joy to be with too, same with Class 7~! ^^ (In fact I’m just glad to have so many moments with Tsubasa this time~ >///<)

Hopefully I’ll have another episode translated for next month soon~ (Hoping to get it done earlier in the month since this was pretty late ^^;)

[ah17hh]

Partner loves me and finds me attractive but is not attracted to me very often via /r/polyamory

Partner loves me and finds me attractive but is not attracted to me very often

I am wondering if anyone has been in a situation similar to mine. That is, my partner and I (together for about 10 months) keep coming around to this topic that can be summed up as this: he finds me attractive but is not very often physically attracted to me. Yet we do have a great and fulfilling sex life. There is a big age difference. He is 20 years younger than me and I suspect this is part of the problem. However, we love each other very much, enjoy each other's company, and are very supportive of each other. I see us having the potential to be in a very happy, long-term relationship if we can work through this issue which is a problem for me but not for him.

Throughout our relationship there have been multiple times when this issue has surfaced for me. We knew each other for a couple of years prior to dating. I was the one who chased him; things felt imbalanced to me because of it. I knew he had had crushes on other people but admitted that he never had one on me. Prior to us dating, he didn't know I was open to poly and just saw me as a happily married older woman. After a few months of dating, he told me that he no longer saw my age and just saw this person that he loved and cared for so much. It kind of surprised me because that was the first time I realized that the age difference was even an issue. He looks about 10 years older than he is and I look about 10 years younger than I am so appearance-wise, I think people would say we look to be about the same age. I didn't even really think about it but he did.

There were other topics that came up along the way that kept leading me to seek validation that he found me attractive. Basically, conversations that helped me see I'm not his usual type, at least not appearance wise, or how he didn't really like how I dressed (called my style preppy whereas his preference is more alternative), and that he found other women more appealing than me. And yet, each time we were able to talk through it and get to a place where he would convince me that he found me attractive. But recently we had a discussion that helped me understand that there's a disconnect. That is, he said that although he finds me fit and attractive, he doesn't often appreciate it in the moment. He says that's not the case though for other women who are more his type. I translate this as he finds me attractive but is not attracted to me. Surprisingly though, our sex life is very good. The bedroom is the one place that I feel like he really is attracted to me. Outside the bedroom though is a different story. He admitted that he loves everything about our relationship and that I am the most important person in his life and that this is not a big deal for him. But he made a comment that I can't stop replaying in my head: if he could have all of what he loves about me (personality, sense of humor, caring and supportive attitude, our connection) but if I looked different (like a woman we know who is younger than me but someone I also consider to be less attractive than me) than it would be [something better]. The funny thing is that I can't really remember what he said it would be like. So I just inserted "something better". At that point in the conversation, I was already fixating on the comparison to this woman we both know and how could he want me to look like her. I just don't see her as attractive or as sexy as I see myself. It's hard for me to reconcile and to accept that my partner is not all that attracted to me but is attracted to people I find less attractive than myself.

I am spiraling on this issue and desperately want to work it out. He and I have talked about it so many times. We ultimately end up questioning if this is a want or a need for me. He says he wants to work on cultivating a better appreciation of the fact that he finds me attractive. I want to work on my self-esteem so that I don't need validation from others about my appearance, or comparisons to other people don't send me spiraling. However, I'm posting here because I am also looking to gain perspective from other people who may have had similar situations or just have some thoughts on the matter.

Submitted August 22, 2020 at 11:02AM by wndogrvl via reddit https://ift.tt/3hlaUg9

[astrology-india]

Ways To Encourage An Aquarius Man To Want You Back After a Breakup

New Post has been published on https://www.astrology-india.com/aquarius-man-to-want-you-back-after-a-breakup/

Ways To Encourage An Aquarius Man To Want You Back After a Breakup

Going through a break-up with a man born under the astrology zodiac sign of Aquarius can be hard but it doesn’t mean that it has to be the end of your relationship.

You can get him back after a breakup, and the technique you use does hugely depend on understanding his characteristics linked to his horoscope.

By wanting to know how to make an Aquarius man want you back after a breakup, you have arrived at the right place.

You, like me, have realized how sensitive the male of this star sign can be. But he is also determined, resolute and a creature of habit.

The great thing about Aquarius men is that they like to finish what they started, so he should definitely be open to giving it another shot with you.

Your Aquarius crush was bowled over by you when you first met, so you need to discover a way of him re-focusing on the good times you shared.

Ways To Get An Aquarius Man Back After a Breakup

Whatever the reason for the breakup it can be overcome. You both need to find a private corner, where you won’t be disturbed and discuss in a controlled way, the things that led to the row that caused the breakup.

Good logic you say, but he won’t even answer my calls! So, read on to find a super simple way to get your Aquarius man back and make him want to stay with you.

A program has been developed by a leading expert, which is designed specifically to repair a breakup situation in a relationship. This system has already proven itself by helping scores of other women in the same situation as you.

The relationship expert is Amy North who shows you the exact carefully crafted words to send via text message. The secret lies in the subliminal effect that these words have on the brain of your Aquarius crush.

The words act as a chemical reaction and without realizing it, your guy will be obsessing over you and wanting to get you back.

Sounds crazy? I thought so too! But don’t take my word for it! Amy has produced a video in which she explains, the power of Text Chemistry here. The video is only a few minutes long but it just might be the few minutes that lead you to romantic bliss!

It takes some other things to make him yours however so it’s time to dive in and figure out how to get this Aquarius water sign flowing back to you after a breakup.

Don’t beg or cry

Aquarius men are known to shie away when women who get overly emotional. If you come across as too needy or dramatic after a breakup, he is going to run the other way.

Don’t beg him to stay, it is important that you come off as cool as a cucumber and even avoid him altogether in the aftermath of the breakup. You need to let him cool down by giving him space and choose to meet up on your terms.

This will ensure you are on his mind and it will also give him a little time to miss you. You should leave it at least a week until you start seeing each other again and longer if you think necessary.

After this amount of time has passed, the text messages will be having their magical effect and you might want to “accidentally” run into him at places you know he hangs out.

Do your own thing

Aquarius men are ambitious and determined and like their women to be the same. He needs to see that you have your own ambitions and goals in life so you don’t depend on him for everything. He loves confident women, so show him this quality in yourself.

While you should never CHANGE yourself for a man, you do need to always be the best version of you possible.

When you are talking regularly to him again, tell him about any hobbies you have started up and any ventures you might be trying. Also, show off your new-found independence on social media because he is guaranteed to be stalking your pages!

Flirt with him

Aquarius men love to feel wanted so when enough time has passed and things have calmed down after the breakup, it’s time to start flirting.

Act like you did when you first met him, laugh at his jokes, tease each other and accidentally-on-purpose touch him.

If you act like friends and build things up by flirting, this could naturally evolve back into a relationship.

Your Aquarius crush needs to see you as a fun person, don’t take things too seriously and just enjoy hanging out together again.

In addition to flirting when you are together, you can make him yours again with Amy North’s program Text Chemistry. This simple technique is easy to implement. You will be amazed at how well this step works and you can find out more about it here, Text Chemistry.

Look your best

Next time he lays eyes on you, it’s vital that you are looking ‘smoking hot’. This actually goes for pretty much any man when you are trying to get back together because guys, in general, are very visual.

Make sure that you are always looking your best when you see each other and he is guaranteed to notice it. Perhaps you can try out a new hairstyle you have wanted or wear a brand new outfit that makes you feel good.

Aquarius men love their women to try new things because they always want their love to be fresh and exciting. So put in a real effort with how you look but at the same time, don’t look like you are trying too hard because you don’t want him to know quite how much you are missing him yet.

Communicate well

An Aquarius man likes a woman that he can have a great conversation with, so make sure that you can do this. He probably loves a good debate and he likes his woman to have her own mind.

Don’t just agree with everything he says because he will find it much sexier if you do the opposite.

After a short time of being apart, you might want to even sit down and discuss where things went wrong in your relationship.

While you think this might end in an argument, if you keep a level head and you listen to each other, it is likely to actually bring you back together.

Be prepared to make sacrifices

Aquarius men very much live by their own rules and this can sometimes interfere with relationships. They might not have good social etiquette or they might not be as romantic as you would like all the time.

The important thing to remember is that nobody is perfect and you both need to be making sacrifices if you want the relationship to work. To get an Aquarius man back there needs to be a compromise.

By both making slight changes to yourselves in order to become better suited, you can make the relationship thrive again. If you are both on board as developing as a couple, you could actually be stronger than ever before.

I recently came across a YouTube video which I think may help you understand more about the characteristics of the Aquarius man if you need it. It’s easy listening and gives a good insight into why he acts the way he does.

Final Thoughts

You should now know exactly what it takes to get an Aquarius man back after a breakup, so what are you waiting for?

Practice the above steps and you should be happy with the one you want again in no time.

It is important that you give him space when you first break up, don’t be too emotional and show off the qualities that he really likes about you.

Don’t forget to check out the amazing Amy North, who is so knowledgeable about relationships and the inner workings of Aquarius men in general. Not all relationships are meant to last but you can definitely give it a good go if you know what you are doing.

Check out this video here by Amy North to see how simple her technique is to get an Aquarius man back after a breakup. Good Luck!

[datingadviceonreddit]

For context, I'm a 26F. Never dated, never fucked, so I tried to be open to dating recently, but that didn't end well. I met a coworker who I texted and flirted with for a short period of time and just when he starts getting closer to me, he pulls away and I'm left feeling confused, thirsty, and obsessive. The truth is, I became less attracted to him when I thought we might actually become a thing, but I tried to give it a shot anyway. When that didn't happen, I got really in my feelings about it so I sent him a long text about my thoughts and went no contact for the past month in hopes that I could get over him.Trying to be honest with him seemed like a mistake in retrospect, but it did help to reveal his true colors. He was dismissive and became cold and seemed to harbor resentment which confused the fuck out of me because I thought giving him space would make him happy, but that had the opposite effect. If I could do anything different, I would not listen to people and try to hash things out early one instead of letting it fester. Though I might not have been equipped to make things better knowing what I know now.While I still haven't engaged with him outside of work related things, I'm clearly not over him. So now I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me and why this dude is still on my mind when we never got to the relationship stage. It doesn't help that I see him more than I see my own family, but still, it's not healthy for me to think about him so much.With no support system, I turned to Reddit and that didn't really help. One person did help me to ease the tension that developed between me and my coworker (I acted neutral and didn't take his behavior personally), so now we're on better terms, but nothing to help me move forward with my life. Talking about my strange attractions usually results in being shamed and dismissed as being crazy. I tried to talk to my mother about it and she thinks I'm nuts. The way I'm acting is certainly dysfunctional, but just telling someone with deep seeded psychological traumas from childhood to just "get over it" or "move on" doesn't help. So if you're like me, don't let people's dismissive attitudes get to you. You can get healthier, so just focus on helpful resources and people who are genuinely willing to help you get sorted out.As for why I'm attracted to emotional unavailability, my father was absent for most of my childhood due to a messy divorce and my mother was emotionally unavailable to the point where even when I was getting bullied and threatened with violence by other students, I didn't trust my mother enough to tell her about it or ask her for help. Different men came in and out of our home and I was very resistant to them because I had a lot of stress about being abandoned by my mother after she married and divorced multiple times. I became more dysfunctional as I grew up which of course made things worse. Under the weight of academics and physically draining competitive sports training, bad diet and poor sleeping habits, dehydration, negative self-talk, and being isolated, I finally self-destructed and battled depression for years. I became a recluse with crippling social anxiety, but after a few years of seclusion, slowly reintegrated into society as I entered the work force.I haven't had many crushes, but the few I've had were all emotionally unavailable men. There was some parental rescue fantasy (attraction to older men in their 30-50s) and some hybristophilia ( I had fantasies of being selected and protected by violent men) sprinkled in, but mostly dudes who didn't want me. I remember this has gone as far back as middle school and probably elementary school. Some eventually reciprocated my feelings, but at that point, I had already moved on or lost interest. To this day, whenever I'm interested in someone and they like me back, I have an issue of losing attraction to them. It even happened with the current guy I'm stuck on. I knew it had something to do with my father, but I haven't quite put the pieces together until now.After describing my former crush to someone on a different forum, they said he was emotionally unavailable so I looked up articles and videos about that. I soon realized I have what is called an "anxious preoccupied attachment style" from inconsistent nurturing from my parents. My parents both grew up in warzones and had dysfunctional families, so I don't blame them for their attachment styles. They never got secure love so I get why they couldn't give it to me. I guess this would explain why we could never show affection or even touch each other (things like hugs are very uncomfortable). My mom in particular had a toxic mother and sister, on top of that, my personality is a lot like her ex husband (my father) so I get why we never ended up being close. Short tempered, aggressive, quick to judge, and lacking in empathy, how could she love me even if she was capable of giving the nurturing I needed growing up.Anxious preoccupied attachment style tends to be attracted to what is called "dismissive avoidant attachment style". This describes exactly the guy I'm stuck on right now, and the last few guys I used to be stuck on. It also kind of describes myself. The first step to healing is self-awareness so I'm trying to understand my situation better. Here are some videos that really helped me learn more about what was going on from the perspective of both attachment styles mentioned:1) Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style (In Depth)2) From Clingy to Confident *Healing Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style3) The Emotionally Unavailable Partner | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style (In Depth + Childhood)4) How To Open Up ❤ Healing Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style5) Choose Love Over Fear ❤ Healing Fearful Avoidant Attachment StyleIn one of the videos, she mentions that she's known people like me who eventually moved on to healthier relationships and developed a healthy attachment style. I know a girl personally who was similar. She fell for an asshole that she almost killed herself over, but her step father intervened and supported her and she met a nice guy afterward who she thought she would never get with, but he showed her that he was mature and that he cared for her, so they've been together for 3 years, going on 4.I hope anyone who is struggling with romance like me can heal and eventually find someone to share their life with. Loneliness is nothing to dismiss or scoff at. There are studies from China that prove people without support systems and care or affection die sooner than those with family and partners. TL;DR mentioned this in an important video about social isolation.Most of us aren't capable of single-handedly changing the world, but it's possible to take steps towards a healthier society if we took matters of mental health more seriously when it comes to ourselves and those around us. Though the crushing reality is that even if we try, we could still end up alone or punished for trying to do the right things if we take responsibility for our actions, but I wanna the stress the importance of trying to heal and move forward with your life anyway. Life is suffering, but we don't have to live the rest of our lives in pain. At the very least, we can ease our suffering and live a little better.As for what steps I'm taking to improve my situation, I'm currently reading literature from important leaders of generations past and starting with cleaning and reorganizing my home and priorities. Also trying to take more pride in my appearance and hygiene and figuring out what I want to genuinely do with my down time. When you need to organize your life and don't have a father figure to guide you, just look towards the many leaders of the world who had a positive impact on many people's lives. I hope that helps anyone who kind of fucked up like me lol. via /r/dating_advice

[nahoo883]

Want to crush competitors? Forget SoftBank, Blackstone suggests; it can write $500 million checks, too

Back in January, Blackstone — the investment firm whose assets under management surpassed a jaw-dropping half a trillion dollars earlier this year — quietly began piecing together a new, growth equity platform called Blackstone Growth, or BXG. Step one was hiring away Jon Korngold from General Atlantic, where he’d spent the previous 18 years, including as a managing director and a member of its management committee.

Step two has been for Korngold, who is responsible for running the new program, to build a team, which he has been doing throughout the year, bringing in “people who speak the language of Blackstone,” he says, including from TCV, Andreessen Horowitz, Carlyle, Vista Private Equity, NEA, and SoftBank.

Apparently, the group is now ready for business. It has already closed on two deals from existing pools of capital with Blackstone, including acquiring outright the mobile ad company Vungle. According to Korngold, two more term sheets “are being signed imminently.”

We talked with him last week for more information about what the group is shopping for, what size checks it is willing to write, and which firms it views as its biggest rivals for deals (and more). Our chat has been edited for length and clarity.

TC: You’ve been hiring throughout the year people who have large-scale growth equity backgrounds. Are many of them women?

JK: Blackstone is one of the most diverse organizations [in terms of] gender or ethnicity. In general, it’s a huge priority for the firm and within our group of 20 people, 40 percent are female, a number we hope to get to 50 percent. Hiring is still in process, but it’s a really healthy culture.

TC: How many people does Blackstone employ altogether?

JK: There are 2,600 altogether across 24 offices.

TC: Is your group investing a discreet pool of capital?

JK: At some point, we’ll have a dedicated pool of capital, but as a firm, we’ve been investing in growth equity for some time [so have relied on other funds within Blackstone to date].

TC: There’s no shortage of growth equity in the world right now. What is Blackstone building that’s so different?

JK: The sheer scale of the operation is different. We have nearly 100 operating professionals — employees of Blackstone — who were hired because they are functional experts — from pricing experts to process engineering experts to human capital and procurement and digital marketing experts — and who can advise our companies.

Also, Blackstone can holistically assist a company through [our] growth equity and real estate and procurement and debt [groups] and other related infrastructure support, enabling companies to fight way above their weight class.  We have 6,000 people across our portfolio, and that provides an interesting opportunity for our companies to cross pollinate [and to cross-sell to] one another.

Unlike most growth equity firms, we also have a significant number of data scientists who do three things: identify proprietary signals across asset classes to help instruct where we should be hunting; help our companies monetize their data; and help us in our diligence. They’ll access raw data feeds and almost see the matrix, if you will.

TC: How many data scientists are we talking about?

JK: A couple dozen [across Blackstone].

TC: Blackstone must be competing against fast-growing tech companies for data scientists. How do you convince them that work for an investing giant is the better gig?

JK: If you’re an intellectually curious individual, there are so many signals [coming through Blackstone] that it’s almost a proxy for the world. It’s like manna from heaven. It’s not like they’re doing a single-threaded approach. The nature of the challenges across our companies is so vast and so varying that whether you’re looking at a fast-growing retailer or a cell phone tower in another country,  the nature of the tasks is always changing.

TC: SoftBank seems to have shaken things up a bit when it came on to the scene, given the size checks it is writing. Your boss, Steven Schwarzman, who recently talked with us about this bigger new push into growth equity, made sure to note that there are few organizations that can write $500 million checks.

JK: [Laughs.] Everyone in Silicon Valley wants to talk about SoftBank. We celebrate a lot of what SoftBank has done. They’ve validated the thesis that there’s an opportunity for growth equity on a scale that hasn’t traditionally been available.

It’s similar to the way we’re set up. SoftBank was never meant to compete with the venture community; they’re competing with the capital markets, and as private companies look to stay private longer market, SoftBank wants to support their development.

TC: And . . .

JK: I think the reality is that a lot of businesses have unproven business models and unit economics, and they’re garnering massive amounts of capital from different constituents. It’s less about who is staying private longer but are they sustainable over the long run, whether public or private. I think a lot of companies right now now that have unproven business models have been flooded by cash at too small a scale where they aren’t ready to handle it, and it masks weaknesses.

TC: Where is that most acute, in your view?

JK: I see that at the smaller growth equity phase — the $25 million to $150 million [per firm per check] range — where most growth equity resides because you have every VC firm there now. Many of the growth funds that have moved downstream. You also have crossover funds like DST and Coatue and Tiger, along with corporate venture capital. That huge flood of capital has created these massive valuations and it has  compressed the due diligence involved.

If you look at Lyft and Uber — and Snap was in this category — the market is starting to speak. Public market shareholders are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt for a while but not indefinitely. You can’t feed the machine for growth’s sake.

TC: So what type of deals are you searching out?

JK: We won’t step into a situation where unit economics aren’t proven from day one. You won’t see us in a company that’s selling $1 for 80 cents and hoping someday that works. We’re Inherently more binary in profile. We’re capital-preservation minded while looking for asymmetric upside, and that’s where we have a disproportionate advantage. You’ll see us do deals where we can put our thumb on the scale, because of our real estate holdings or buyout assets or because [search across our] portfolio for help with procurement costs or insurance or R&D or a company’s go-to-market strategy.

TC: What have you done that proves all these bells and whistles make a difference? 

JK: We have a couple of signed deals, including [the mobile ad company] Vungle [for a reported $750 million-ish], though we’re more often looking for growth-equity minority ownership positions. [Think] companies that are looking for a partner and not an owner. We’ll do growth buyouts but the vast majority will be significant minority positions.

We have a couple of other deals that will be signed imminently that we can’t discuss just yet.

TC: Are you hoping to take these companies public? Flip them to another private equity firm? Relatedly, do you have any thoughts about the public market and whether more companies should be going out?

JK: We’ll only look to an IPO if there’s a reason for it. Oftentimes, companies shouldn’t be public; sometimes, they should be, including if they need an acquisition currency or [to better establish their] branding. But the idea of, let’s rush to the door [is not our style].

TC: Who are your most direct competitors? Not Vista Private Equity, since it seems to prefer buying companies whole.

JK: Vista is going exclusively for control buyouts, massive turnarounds. It descends upon a company and says, ‘This is the playbook you will follow.’ It also uses a lot of leverage, where the vast majority or our [deals] are un-levered. We don’t use much debt. Vista and Silver Lake are much more competitors with each other.

TC: KKR then? Carlyle? 

KR: They’re also multi-asset managers, but as it relates to growth equity, we’ve really found ourselves in slightly more rarefied air. Blackstone has demonstrated that it can use its scale to create an operational advantage, and virtually no other company — or few — can contemplate checks like we can.

TC: What do you want for these checks, other than a minority position? How involved are you and what size stake, exactly, are you aiming to buy?

JK: We want to have a relevant voice, so we want to be in the boardroom, but there is no target range. It can be 10 or 20 or 30 percent. It can be 80 percent. Ideally you want to be the main outside pool of capital along with management team.

from TechCrunch https://ift.tt/32QO2gQ via IFTTT from Blogger https://ift.tt/2LFbbNv via IFTTT

[being-worthy]

Don’t let them fool you!

A few months ago or so, I discovered an interesting article called Work for Loyal Employers. Life is too short for anything else. I asked myself are there still employers worth working for, if so where are they because let’s face it around 99% of the people just go to work because they have to and they’re not working for supervisors or a company who treat them right. This inspired me to write an honest review about one of the biggest companies of our time, a company everyone seems to have in high esteem - too high in my opinion - and people always look the other way when the company does something hideous, I’m talking about Apple.

There might be similar or worse conditions in other of their offices but this review is regarding the office in London in Piccadilly. I started to work for Apple as a contractor via an agency (Kelly Services, I wrote a separate review about them on Glassdoor) and remember well how full of dreams and innocence I was when I started my first day at Apple and now after having worked there for almost a year I’ve come out of there with my dreams crushed and a nearly dead mind because of the job - both of them thankfully recovering, albeit slowly.

At first, all supervisors are friendly, although some faked it so strongly that it cringes and are passive-aggressive to the point that it can make you sick to your stomach. If you’re a contractor and have an issue with your employer (the agency), such as late payment or no payment at all, don’t have any hopes that Apple will help you sort this out because they won’t even acknowledge you or the issue and prefer to do like it never happened or just tell you they’re your employer sort it out yourself with them. Apple’s way of saying we do not care whether you get paid or not whether you’re happy with your situation or not as long as you get your job done. Also, Apple didn’t seem have done any in-depth research about the agency prior to hiring them and it turned out that one of the biggest issues - inaccurate payment & no payment - was happening in all of the agency’s branches across the UK.

From the beginning, Apple will tell you that no matter if you’re a contractor or not, you’re part of the team and welcome any feedback. But the truth is that you’ll (the contractor) always be at the bottom of the food chain and the only type of feedback they welcome is the positive one. If you want to succeed and move forward in the company keep the real constructive feedback to yourself and if be ready to sell your soul and forget your ethics as well.

There’s a strict segregation regime like in the Middle Ages (the common folk and royalty) or like the racial segregation in the USA (black and white people) but at Apple it’s between the permanent staff and the contractors. This starts from the very beginning with the ID being a different colour compared to that of the permanent staff, first sign you’re not part of the team.

Forget about having any interaction with colleagues from other departments. In their eyes, you don’t exist and they won’t even acknowledge your existence. I’m not suggesting to talk about work because it’s not allowed and I fully understand this but not having the decency to say ‘good morning, how are you?’ back to someone who is talking to you and just treats you like you’re invisible/beneath them is disgusting, also the managers won’t sit and eat at the same table as you and this is not a joke, they’ll sit at their own table without any contractors in sight.

You’ll also be excluded from the company’s parties and they keep them highly classified and this one was a first for me. I’ve had my fair share of fixed-term jobs for many companies (big and small ones) and they all welcomed me to their parties, whether I had recently started or been there for years, whether I was a contractor part-time or full-time. E.g. during one of my FTC jobs, my senior told me the company was invited to an event (and it was quite a luxurious one too) and asked me if I wanted to assist as well and I was barely a week at the job! You can say that they might have the right not to invite contractors to their parties but this shows they don’t consider them part of the company/team.

Moreover, you’re not allowed to send parcels to the office. If you do, they’ll “kindly” ask you to not send any personal post/parcels to the office as they only can receive parcels related to Apple work as it’s “Apple’s policy”. Nonetheless, the permanent staff will constantly send stuff to the office, like clothes from H&M, gym products, things from Amazon, etc. So much for products only Apple-related ¬¬... The first time, you’ll get a warning but if it happens again they’ll refuse to take the parcel and it’ll be returned. As a contractor, I spent 40 hours a week at the company with only half an hour lunch break and some people have a long home journey (myself included) and wouldn’t make it on time to pick up the parcel because the post offices are already closed by then.

If you require specific work equipment due to a medical condition or similar no matter whether you were born with it or due to an accident, then strongly avoid Apple to work as a contractor. They’ll beat around the bush for months with back and forth emails, so that you eventually give up and forget about it, no matter if you’ve got a doctor’s letter stating you require it. They’ll find an excuse so as not to approve it, much less provide it, and go as far as saying ‘I think the doctor meant to say that you need something else’. If someone has a doctor’s letter confirming you’ve got a medical condition and for said condition, you require special equipment, what on Earth more do you require? A DNA sample? And how do you know what the doctor meant? Are you a doctor too now? Can you read minds? Firstly, it’s very hard to get an appointment, most of them are in 3 to 4 weeks’ time (if you’re lucky unless you can afford private medical healthcare) and until then you’re supposed to work as usual while being in constant pain? Secondly, if diverse body areas are affected you’ve to go to different doctors in the UK, meaning to book an appointment for each specialty doctor you’ve to see, and by the time you’ve got all documents they “require” months have already passed. No wonder that there isn’t a single person with a disability working at the company, so much for diversity at their workplace.

In addition, keeping up morale is the responsibility of the contractor ONLY, not of the company you work for too. You’ve to come up with ideas to improve the relationships - little info for Apple, the relationships between contractors are not the problem, it’s the lack of relationship, understanding, and support between contractor and Apple that is lacking, if not completely non-existent. It’s not surprising that the company DOES NOT care about you, even if you’re a great and hardworking employee and exceed in the assignments given, for them YOU ARE REPLACEABLE.

About the job itself. The job is easy, like incredibly easy. It’s so easy that your brain will reach a state similar to a coma while still being awake after only a few weeks (if not days) due to the constant repetition and lack of innovation/improvement for the tasks. However, policies can change rapidly and frequently even contradict themselves and if you ask for further clarification they’ll dismiss you or tell you the exact same information given by the policies you already read and make no sense.

Now to the part on how you succeed on becoming a permanent employee, even though they say this is impossible from day one. Well, if you really want to be part of the cult then follow these guidelines: don’t think outside the box, don’t look left or right and be close-minded, don’t ask for deeper clarification or further questions about a topic, go with their flow, become best buddies with the managers, inform on your colleagues - e.g. a work colleague is making a constructive comment about work, company, etc. or checking their phone while sitting on their desk while waiting for the work tools to load (which take ages by the way), then go and have a tête-à-tête with a manager about them, make sure to mention the employee’s name. At a certain stage, they’ll approach you and praise you for all your great espionage data, I mean feedback and “hard work” followed by an interview with other permanent staff from other countries where your ego will be molded to their vision and tell you that from now on you’re part of the higher-up and given the great power of prying on your colleagues and patrol the office to make sure only work-related tools are on display and the same for conversations - after all, this is kindergarten and someone has to breathe down your neck at all times.

No wonder when I was watching The Circle the first thing that came to my mind was ‘they should’ve called it Apple’. You can be as hard-working and punctual, kind and honest, always helping out others, even taking the responsibility of training others which is actually the managers’ job, and even excel at work and in all your tasks all you want because if you’re not ready to be submissive, forget your principles, and backstab your colleagues you will never be one of them.

These reasons might seem petty to some, particularly to those who think alike as Apple and are already under the spell of Apple’s indoctrination. Nevertheless, if you put them all together and imagine yourself going to work five days a week during a daily eight-hour shift where you see and experience these factors and many more day after day after day, you’ll realise that a job at Apple nor Apple itself is truly worth it and also shows, the bigger the company the less value an employee/contractor will have.

Please don’t think this review is coming from someone who is envious (yes, envious not jealous there’s a difference) for not being promoted or made permanent, and I know that my review might be fairly derogatory and too much for some to handle (probably too much for Apple too), but I don’t sugarcoat things particularly when it comes to the truth and Apple deserves it. Furthermore, I can happily and proudly say that I got a much better and permanent job offer at a company that highly values and greatly rewards their employees as well as gives them the opportunity to develop themselves and I don’t have to be an unscrupulous lowlife and can keep a clear conscience.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for backstabbing, two-faced politics, lies, hypocrisy, lack of recognition for hard work and dedication, no real employee value, and modernised and legal slavery, then by all means, Apple is your company.

Apple, your slogan is ‘think different’ but where is that different? You are a company that generates a revenue between $50-55 (or more) billion a year and pays only around 10% taxes on said amount (you might even surpass the trillion dollars soon), so why not bother in improving your work conditions and relationships among your permanent staff and contractors?

Peace out!

[nickyschneiderus]

Who’s going to challenge Trump in 2020? Here are 17 super-early contenders

While the 2020 presidential election is still several years away, that hasn’t stopped Democrats from speculating about who may decide to run against President Donald Trump.

Trump has his eyes on 2020. In February he named Brad Parscale, the head of the president’s 2016 campaign digital operation, as his campaign manager.

But picture is less clear for the Democrats, and there is speculation a large field of contenders may throw their hats into the ring to take on Trump in the next presidential election.

As the campaign inches closer, every move and speech (particularly among the bigger names in the party) is analyzed and deconstructed as possible hints of a presidential run being launched.

But things can change quickly for Democrats with their eyes on the White House. Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) was considered a liberal rising star and possible 2020 candidate until he resigned from office after several women came forward with sexual misconduct allegations.

There are a number of things that can happen between now and the 2020 election, but here are several names that could be gearing up for what is sure to be a brutal campaign against Trump in a few years.

2020 presidential election: Potential Trump challengers

1) Sen. Bernie Sanders

Photo via Phil Roeder/Flickr (CC-BY)

It shouldn’t be a shock that Sen. Bernie Sanders’ name comes up in nearly every 2020 election talk. His surprising showing in the 2016 Democratic primary rocketed Sanders into the national consciousness, and he is arguably the most popular politician currently serving in office.

However, there are some drawbacks. While his impressive ability to lure younger voters to his campaign is something any person vying for the Democratic 2020 nod is sure to try to replicate, there will always be the question of whether his policy agenda would actually work without Congress firmly on his side. (Of course, there’s always that pesky S-word.)

Some Democrats may even hold a grudge against Sanders, who is technically not part of the party, for his grueling primary against Hillary Clinton in 2016. There have been arguments that Sanders’ attacks against Clinton may have helped Trump win the election and sway some voters views on her ahead of the election.

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However, there is no denying that if he decided to run, he’d have a large number of supporters and many people willing to donate to his campaign from the start.

In early 2018, reports suggested that Sanders has begun talking to advisers about a 2020 election campaign. The discussions focused on other possible opponents in the 2020 primaries and how Sanders could defeat them.

Politico reported in June that Sanders was one of several possible 2020 Democrats who have met with former President Barack Obama in recent months.

Sanders and Obama talked about the future of the Democratic party and what it should focus on moving forward, according to the report.

IS BERNIE SANDERS RUNNING IN 2020?: Almost certainly.

2) Sen. Elizabeth Warren

Photo via Edward Kimme/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), like Sanders, would tap into the growing number of Democrats hoping for a more progressive candidate to challenge Trump’s hard-right base.

Warren is also an outspoken critic of Trump, helping raise her profile among disenfranchised Democrats. She saw her profile skyrocket when Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) silenced her as she was criticizing now-Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

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In particular, Warren could tap into the populist fervor that has overcome the American electorate. Her tough stance on Wall Street and championing projects like the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau would likely play well with voters on the left who are upset with the economy. That said, Republicans already think they have a game plan to crush any possible 2020 hopes Warren may have.

While it’s still early, Warren seemed to try and quell 2020 speculation when she spoke with Fox News. “I’m not running for president,” she told Fox News Sunday in mid-March. However, not everyone is sold on that.

Warren was also among the possible 2020 candidates who has met with Obama in recent months, according to Politico.

With a consistently liberal voting record, Warren would please large swaths of the Democrats’ progressive wing of the party—and maybe Republicans, too, but for very different reasons.

IS WARREN RUNNING IN 2020?: Maybe. Too early to tell.

3) Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand

Photo via personaldemocracy/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Kirsten Gillibrand, a New York senator, took the seat that was vacated by Clinton in 2009 and has moved consistently left in her policy and voting record since taking office.

Like Warren, she has been a constant critic of Trump, even casting more “no” votes against Trump’s cabinet nominees than any other Democrat.

Gillibrand has also been lauded for her commitment to gender equality and is in the spotlight with her strong support of women who have come forward asking for a congressional investigation into Trump’s alleged sexual misconduct. She also was the first senator to call on Sen. Al Franken to resign following his own sexual misconduct allegations.

Gillibrand was targeted by billionaire Democratic contributor George Soros in June, who said she pushed for Franken’s ouster to “improve her chances” in a possible 2020 campaign. The donor’s comments were criticized as being sexist.

Gillibrand was attacked on Twitter by the president in late 2017, who said she would do anything for campaign donations, a reference that many took to have sexual implications.

Gillibrand responded by saying she would not be silenced by the president.

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The New York senator was among several possible 2020 candidates who attended a “We the People” summit in Washington where she blasted Trump for his attacks on immigrants, press freedom and other issues.

During her speech, she touched on several liberal themes including paid family leave, tax laws and a women’s right to decide about her reproductive rights.

In early 2018, Gillibrand was asked by the hosts of The View about a possible 2020 run and the senator replied coyly.

“No. No,” she said, laughing. “I’m running for Senate… and I do hope New Yorkers will allow me to continue to serve. I really value this opportunity to be a voice for them.”

IS GILLIBRAND RUNNING IN 2020?: Probably.

4) Former Vice President Joe Biden

Photo via Marc Nozell/Flickr (CC-BY)

Many Democrats were hoping Joe Biden would decide to run in 2016. But he decided not to, following the death of his son, Beau. Biden has not ruled out a 2020 bid and announced that a cross-country speaking tour to promote his book—sparking speculation of a 2020 run once more.

Biden would obviously have to tackle questions about decisions made by former President Barack Obama’s administration, but that hasn’t hurt his polling numbers. There are also questions about his conduct with women. However, many Democrats appear to have a very favorable view of the former vice president and Delaware senator.

A recent poll by Public Policy Polling found that Biden would beat Trump in a hypothetical 2020 match-up by a 54-to-41 percent margin.

Biden continued to fan the flames of a possible 2020 run in November when he said he wasn’t “closing the door” on seeking the Democratic nomination during an interview on The Today Show.

“No, no, I’m not closing the door,” Biden said. “I’ve been around too long. I mean, I’m a great respecter of fate. But who knows what the situation is going to be a year and a half from now.”

More recently, Biden told MSNBC in April that he was “hoping that some other folks step up” into the 2020 Democrats field, but didn’t close the door on running, saying that he would decide by the end of 2018, according to the Washington Post.

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The questions swirling around the former vice president’s future aspirations also cropped up as he began campaigning amid the 2018 midterm elections.

A Politico report in March shed light on possible plans Biden’s team may have for announcing his 2020 candidacy. Some of the scenarios included the former vice president announcing his candidacy early, skipping the first votes in Iowa and New Hampshire, or possibly running with the promise of a one-term presidency.

Biden entering the race could impact who else decides to join the fray.

“He’ll have competition, obviously. But that field’s going to get narrow if Joe Biden’s in it,” New Hampshire state Sen. Lou D’Allesandro told NBC News in early June.

IS JOE BIDEN RUNNING IN 2020?: Probably.

5) Sen. Kamala Harris

Photo via Mobilus In Mobili/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Seen by many as a rising star in the Democratic Party, Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) is the country’s first Indian-American and second female African-American senator. As a former state attorney general, Harris would likely match up well against Trump in a debate.

Harris also champions liberal causes such as criminal justice reform and marriage equality, which would please a large portion of the Democratic base.

Her national profile was lifted earlier this year when she grilled Attorney General Jeff Sessions during a hearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee amid the ongoing Russia probe.

Harris also gained attention for her questioning of CIA Director Gina Haspel and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

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In April, Harris drew ire from conservatives when she laughed at a joke on the Ellen Degeneres Show where the host asked her who she would prefer to be stuck in an elevator with: Trump, Vice President Mike Pence or Sessions.

In response, Harris laughed and jokingly said: “Does one of us have to come out alive?”

During the same interview, Harris brushed off questions about a possible 2020 presidential run.

“Right now we are in the early months of 2018, and at this very moment in time, there are people across America who have priorities around their health care, have priorities around can they get through the end of the month and pay the bills, pay off their student loans, can they afford to pay for gas, housing?” she said, adding: “There are so many pressing issues… these are immediate needs and these are the things I’m focused on right now.”

While she hasn’t announced any plans for 2020, signs are pointing toward a run. In July 2017, there were reports that Harris met with top Clinton donors, and Politico reported in April that she has begun spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on web advertising and digital campaign consulting.

Harris also pledged not to accept donations from corporate political action committees, which could be a sign she would try and emulate Bernie Sanders’ success with small individual donations during the 2016 primary.

However, Harris is also relatively new to politics, which could dent her. Although, that didn’t stop Obama from running, and eventually winning, the presidency, to say nothing of Trump.

IS KAMALA HARRIS RUNNING IN 2020?: Yes.

6) Sen. Cory Booker

Photo via TechCrunch/Flickr (CC-BY)

The New Jersey senator has had star-power for many years, even during his time as mayor of Newark (where he carried a woman out of a house fire).

Sen. Cory Booker would likely appease more center-left Democrats and at least be palatable to more progressive voters. While Booker does have ties to Wall Street, he has also been a major critic of Trump and outspoken proponent of criminal justice reform.

Booker is also a talented public speaker and made a much-lauded speech during the 2016 Democratic National Convention. There were even rumors Clinton was considering him as a potential running mate in 2016 before she ultimately chose Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine.

When asked in mid-March about a possible 2020 run and the message Democrats need to send to voters, Booker seemed to hint at a possible strategy. “I’m saying this to Democrats who will listen to me—we can’t make our elections about being against Trump. They have to be about what we’re for,” Booker told the Atlantic.

In May, Booker was asked on The View about his 2020 aspirations but demurred.

“I’m a contender for the 2018 midterms where I’m going to be fighting for every Democratic candidate,” he said. “This is the most important midterm election of our lifetime… for folks who are looking beyond that… don’t look beyond.”

Similarly, at a University of Chicago event in May, Booker seemed to think someone else would be at the top of the Democratic ticket in 2020.

“In the mosh pit of all the names that are talked about, maybe there is going to be a person where you and I both will say ‘she is the one’ and let’s get involved in supporting them,” he said.

However, Booker also met with Obama like other possible 2020 candidates—so he could just be playing coy as the time gets closer for an announcement.

IS CORY BOOKER RUNNING IN 2020?: Maybe. Could be a VP candidate.

7) New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo

Photo via MTA of New York/Flickr (CC-BY)

Gov. Andrew Cuomo‘s recent push to beef up New York’s infrastructure and transportation—not to mention his recent decision to hire 12 staffers who worked for Obama’s White House, the federal government, or a presidential campaign—has put him firmly in the realm of 2020 speculation.

In his annual state-of-the-state address in 2017, Cuomo clearly positioned himself—and the state of New York—as anti-Trump, rejecting the ideas that got Trump elected. In his address, Cuomo touched on the middle class and how progressive policies “created the nation’s middle class in the first place.” He also proposed executive orders to reduce the wage gap for women in New York, as well as criminal justice reform.

In February, Cuomo also ended a speech with union supporters by sending not-so-subtle barbs at Trump.

“We will make America America again!” Cuomo said.

The idea of Cuomo running has crossed the minds of at least some Republicans–with one former Trump adviser telling Politico that a face-off against the New York governor makes him “nervous.”

“Hillary Clinton wouldn’t take the gloves off. There isn’t a counterpunch Andrew Cuomo won’t throw,” Michael Caputo told the news outlet.

However, Cuomo might not have the star-power outside of the Northeast to make a realistic run at the nomination in 2020, and clearly he may not have the liberal chops people in his home state are hoping for. Cuomo is being tested by an insurgent left-leaning primary campaign by Cynthia Nixon ahead of his re-election bid in November.

Despite this, all signs appear to be that he has presidential aspirations in the future.

IS ANDREW CUOMO RUNNING IN 2020?: Probably.

8) Sen. Amy Klobuchar

Photo via Tony Webster/Flickr (CC-BY)

While Sen. Amy Klobuchar doesn’t have the name recognition as some other lawmakers on this list, she certainly has a résumé that can compete. The Minnesota senator has served in Congress since 2007 and has high approval ratings.

Klobuchar is also from the Midwest, an area that Democrats arguably overlooked during the 2016 election and could have swayed the election in favor of Clinton.

The rumors of a possible 2020 bid for Klobuchar were fanned when she traveled to a Democratic fundraiser in Iowa—a frequent stop for politicians ahead of announcing their presidential bid.

IS AMY KLOBUCHAR RUNNING IN 2020?: Not likely.

9) Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Photo via 惡龍~Stewart/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Perhaps one of the more “out there” ideas for the 2020 nomination, there has been an inordinate amount of buzz surrounding Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson running for president.

The actor has not shied away from the rumors—in fact, it seems that at times he has actively encouraged them to continue.

In an interview with GQ earlier in the year, the Rock said it was a “real possibility” that he would run against Trump in 2020. And in May, the Rock “announced” his candidacy for 2020 with his “running mate” Tom Hanks during the season finale of Saturday Night Live.

The actor seemed to downplay the idea of him making a bid for the White House in 2020 during an interview with Rolling Stone in April.

“I mean, look people are very excited, and it’s so flattering that they’re excited,” he told the magazine. “I think it’s also a function of being very unsatisfied with our current president. But this is a skill set that requires years and years of experience. On a local level, on a state level and then on a national level. I have the utmost respect for our country and that position, and I’m not delusioned in any way to think, ‘Oh, absolutely, if Trump can do it, I can do it, and I’ll see you in 20-whatever, get ready.’ Not at all.”

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For what it’s worth, some polls suggest that he would beat Trump in a hypothetical 2020 matchup. Public Policy Polling found that Johnson would beat Trump 42 percent to 37 percent and would actually pull in 15 percent of people who voted for Trump in 2016.

IS THE ROCK RUNNING IN 2020?: No.

10) Mark Zuckerberg

Photo via nrkbeta/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Like the Rock, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is another less traditional choice given his lack of political or military experience. However, he would fit the mold created by Trump as a “businessman turned politician.”

For quite a while, the co-founder of Facebook stirred the presidential run rumors, particularly when he announced he would visit every state in America as a way to meet people—the kind of tour that politicians make before announcing a presidential bid. Zuckerberg also hired a chief strategist from Hillary Clinton’s campaign in August 2017, fueling speculation.

Don’t start printing “Zuck for Prez” buttons yet.

Besides Zuckerberg denying any intention of running for president, there was the extreme public backlash against Zuckerberg and the social media giant following the revelations that Cambridge Analytica, a data firm that caters to businesses and political campaigns, harvested data on more than 80 million Facebook users without their knowledge.

Not to mention his testy testimony before Congress that was watched by millions of Americans.

Before the news of Cambridge Analytica broke, Trump seemed to view Zuckerberg as a possible threat, with reports surfacing that White House aides have started “informally monitoring” Zuckerberg and other potential Democrats who might run in 2020.

IS MARK ZUCKERBERG RUNNING IN 2020?: Not after this year’s fracas.

11) Oprah Winfrey

Screenshot via OWN/YouTube

Oprah Winfrey’s name has come up for years as a potential presidential candidate–and 2020 is no different.

Talks of an impending Oprah run heated up when, on Sept. 28, Winfrey tweeted out an article endorsing her for president, calling the former talk show host the Democrats’ “best hope” to challenge Trump. In the tweet, Winfrey thanked the writer for a “vote of confidence.”  

In fact, Trump’s election may have sparked some more interest in Winfrey. Speaking with Bloomberg News, Winfrey said with Trump’s win, she may have overestimated what it takes to become president.

“I thought, ‘Oh, gee, I don’t have the experience, I don’t know enough.’ And now I’m thinking, ‘Oh,’” she said.

The whole idea of an Oprah vs. Trump election gets weirder when you consider that Trump considered having her as a running mate when he toyed with the idea of running for president under the reform party in 2000.

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A speech Winfrey gave at the Golden Globe awards sparked intense speculation about a 2020 presidential run, but in late January, she seemed to put it all to rest, saying that running for president is “not something that interests me.”

While she says she isn’t running, at least one poll says she would beat Trump in a hypothetical 2020 matchup. A poll by Zogby Analytics found 53 percent of likely voters would choose her, compared to 47 percent who would choose Trump.

However, former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer disagrees with that notion.

IS OPRAH RUNNING IN 2020?: No.

12) Eric Holder

North Charleston/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Eric Holder, the former attorney general during President Barack Obama’s time in office, has fanned speculation about running in several interviews he’s given in recent months.

Holder, who was the first African American attorney general in United States history, is also the chairman of the National Democratic Redistricting Committee.

In March, he told Viceland that he would decide about his 2020 intention by the end of 2018.

“What I’ve said is, I’m going to decide by the beginning of next year and see if there is going to be another chapter in my public service career. We’ll see,” he said.

Holder also blasted Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ decisions in the job.

During his time as attorney general, Holder said the Justice Department would not enforce the Defense of Marriage Act and fought against discriminatory voting restrictions—both of which could appeal to liberal voters.

IS HOLDER RUNNING IN 2020?: Maybe. Let’s see later this year.

13) Former Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley

Photo via Edward Kimmel/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

You may have forgotten Martin O’Malley, given how crazy the 2016 election and primaries were. But O’Malley did compete against Sanders and Clinton during the Democratic presidential primaries.

O’Malley didn’t score very well in any of the primaries, finishing a distant third in Iowa before suspending his campaign.

But perhaps he’ll take another crack at the presidency in what is expected to be a wide-open Democratic field ahead of 2020. As FiveThirtyEight points out, O’Malley spent more time in Iowa between 2013 and 2016 than Clinton or Sanders and has visited early voting states like Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina in recent months.

O’Malley did push for same-sex marriage in Maryland, signing a law in 2012 and repealing the death penalty in the state–issues that are core to many Democrats.

In April, O’Malley told NBC News that he is keeping an “open heart and an open mind” about running for president again.

A month later, a local news channel spoke with O’Maley in New Hampshire–a state anyone seriously considering running would spend a lot of time in–where he said he “might” run in 2020.

In the interview he took swings at Trump that would likely be standard fare in any primary or general election matchup.

“I believe that the Trump administration is an administration whose malice has been tempered only by their own incompetence,” he said.

IS O’MALLEY RUNNING IN 2020?: Probably, but it won’t matter.

14) Sen. Sherrod Brown

Photo via John Beagle/Flickr (CC-BY)

Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) was also considered by Clinton to join her 2016 ticket as a running-mate.

Coming from Ohio, a crucial swing state, does play into his favor, as does his progressive background. As he runs for reelection 2018, how Brown plays with Rust Belt states could be a roadmap for those serious about unseating Trump in 2020.

Brown was a proponent of reenacting the Glass-Steagall Act, which made sure commercial and investment banks could not be linked, and was an advocate for a larger stimulus package during Obama’s first term.

However, Brown is expected to have a tough re-election battle in the 2018 midterms.

Of all the names on the list, Brown could be the darkhorse to watch in the Democratic primaries leading up to 2020.

IS BROWN RUNNING IN 2020?: Check again after the midterms

15) Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper

Photo via Aranami/Flickr (CC-BY)

Gov. John Hickenlooper is in his second term as governor of Colorado and has become popular in the state that is seen as “purple,” or a mix of Republicans and Democrats.

The governor was reportedly considered by Clinton to be her vice presidential nominee before she ultimately chose Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.).

Hickenlooper ruffled a few feathers earlier this year when reports surfaced that he and Republican John Kasich–a frequent critic of Trump–had explored running on an independent ticket during the 2020 election with Kasich leading the team. However, in an interview with Rolling Stone in April, he downplayed that possibility.

In early 2018, Hickenlooper made a trip to Iowa–the first caucus in presidential primaries—raising some eyebrows about his presidential aspirations. As the Denver Post points out, the governor met with “veteran political players” ahead of the trip.

Speaking with CNN in April, Hickenlooper said he wanted to take some time to explore his options.

“This summer we’ll see how it begins to feel,” he said. “You’d have to get much more polished than what I am now, in terms of what my message would be and what I would bring that’s different than other candidates.”

IS HICKENLOOPER RUNNING IN 2020?: It’s looking likely.

16) Rep. John Delaney

John K. Delaney/YouTube

Rep. John Delaney (D-Md.) is the only candidate to officially announce their candidacy for 2020.

The congressman announced way back in July that he would be seeking the Democratic nomination, telling Business Insider that he thinks voters will be “open-minded and wants to do what’s best for their party and most importantly their country.”

Delaney is known as moderate and supported a measure to raise money to build infrastructure by allowing corporations in the United States to avoid taxes on overseas profits if they purchase bonds to be used for infrastructure, the AP reports.

“I kind of view myself as sort of a long-distance swimmer, and I view this as a long race, and so, part of the challenge, obviously, in running for president, is to build the kind of name ID you need, so that you’re relevant when the race really starts,” he told the news outlet. “It’s a lot easier to build name recognition over a year and a half than it is across two months.”

As of April, Delaney has spent more than $1 million on ads in Iowa and made 110 campaign stops in in the state, according to Politico.

“I think I’m the right person for the job, and I have the right vision, but not enough people know who I am,”he told the news outlet. “The way you solve that problem is by getting in early.” IS DELANEY RUNNING IN 2020?: Yes. 17) Rep. Tim Ryan

Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) is relatively unknown, but raised his profile earlier this year when he challenged House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to lead the Democrats following Trump’s surprise election victory.

Ryan’s name has been subject to rumors of a possible 2020 bid for months, and when asked in September by Hardball host Chris Matthews about possibly running for president he responded with “I don’t know.”

Around the same time, Ryan spoke in Iowa and urged Democrats to focus on an economic message in future elections that starts “with letting these working-class people know that we see them, we hear them and we know what they are going through, and we have a plan.”

IS RYAN RUNNING IN 2020?: Too early to tell

Honorable mentions

Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, Former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, Rep. Keith Ellison (Minn.), New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, Former Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe, Montana Governor Steve Bullock, Sen. Chris Murphy (Conn.), Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (R.I.)

Editor’s note: The Daily Dot will periodically update this list as people begin to make it clearer whether they will seek the 2020 Democratic nomination.

from Ricky Schneiderus Curation https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/2020-presidential-election-democrats/

[vaguelogjournal]

Entry #001

April 15, 2018

So I just had a friend break up with me. 

That isnt the only reason Im making this blog, but I’ve been struggling with a lot of issues for a while and I knew if I didnt get these feelings out somehow then they were just going to fester like all the others. Maybe you’ll learn about my other problems in the future, who knows?

As for right now, my friend just broke up with me. We weren't together romantically, though I knew she had some feelings for me. I met her a little over a year ago while working on a school project. We would randomly run into each other here and there. I had become closer friends with her roommate and best friend, so I ended up seeing this girl here and there, but we didnt actively connect until the end of last semester. I discovered she hadn't seen Gravity Falls before so I gave her a website and told her to watch it over winter break. When we got back I found out she hadn't been able to, so we made general plans to watch it together. Then we had a pair of snow days that cancelled all classes. Seizing the opportunity, I camped out one of the big TV’s in the student center and hooked my laptop up to it. For the better part of the day we marathoned season 1 of the show. By the time we finished several other people, including her roommate, had joined us and we had had a lot of fun. Because me, her, and her roommate lived in the same general set of dorms we walked back together, stopping for some fun sliding on ice in an empty parking lot. When her roommate had left us alone for a second, she confessed she had a crush on me. 

Years ago, like back when I was in middle school, a similar situation had happened. I handled it badly and as a result one of my best friends lost the girl who had confessed as a friend. So I told the present girl that while I was flattered, I really didn't see her that way, and that I had some issues of my own. I didn't admit to her that I also had religious reasons not to date her, but those would have only offended her so I chose not to mention them. We decided to stay friends and that was that.

But over the course of the semester we grew a lot closer, especially physically. Nothing sexual, but I found myself a lot more comfortable hugging and platonically cuddling with her than any of my other friends, something I loved. I was raised in a  very physically affectionate household, but a lot of my other friends either weren't comfortable with me to that degree, or we just didn't see each other often enough. With this girl I’d see her plenty and for extended periods, and with her being comfortable with it I was overjoyed. At some point down the line I may have started to develop feelings for her as well, but I knew I could never act upon them even if I did have them because of the reasons above. 

And honestly I thought we had reached a good place. I graduate in a month and I'm not likely to ever see her again. Maybe we could have kept in contact via text, but I’ve only ever been able to maintain one long-distance friendship before so I didn't have much hope. And because of that I thought we would be fine. Yeah it would be painful when we had to say goodbye but the good memories would have been worth it. 

But the problem is that she’s had a long-term on-again, off-again boyfriend who recently came back on-again. And while I was aware that she once had feelings for me I thought they had turned into platonic ones. But now she told me that no, they never went away, she just tried to keep them under control, but seeing me constantly wasn't helping. She told me she couldn't be as close friends with me any more because it wouldn't be fair to her mental and emotional state, nor fair to her boyfriend, and I had to agree. So I stepped aside, tried to be galant about it but it still hurts so much to let her go. I want to continue to be her friend, to be by her side and comfort her through the stress and problems she has to face everyday. And I was starting to get to the point where I felt like I might be able to lean on her but now it almost feels like the last step on a staircase collapsed when I tried to step down. I’m still standing but I feel disoriented. And I know she’s still going to be out there as a friend, but we simply can’t be as close as we once were and that hurts so freaking much. I was closer to her than just about anyone else at my school and now I've lost that. Part of me wishes I could go back and undo everything, prevent us from ever becoming friends, but another part of me never wants to let go of those memories. 

I remember there was this bizarre Spider-Man cartoon called Spider-Man: Unlimited. Never got finished, but there was one episode where he discovers Kraven the Hunter is taking a drug to give him powers, but it’s also cutting his life in half. Kraven then proclaims that most people live their lives like a candle, long-burning but dim. He instead would live his like a firecracker, short and bright. I feel like that’s how a lot of my friendships go: they either last a while but don't mean much, or mean everything and end all too soon. 

[ah17hh]

My (38m) wife (38f) met someone else and now wants an open relationship. I need some help via /r/polyamory

My (38m) wife (38f) met someone else and now wants an open relationship. I need some help

So in order to get to the non-monogamy part I need to tell some backstory first. My wife and I have been together since college and have been married for over a decade. She has always struggled with mental health, having a severe anxiety problem and a not quite as severe problem with depression. Until very recently she was not properly medicated for these issues, being severely under-medicated. She also suffered from severe back pain for many years until recently when she had very serious surgery to help the issue. She was on opiates, muscle relaxers, and sleeping pills for the better part of a decade. She finally decided enough was enough and enough and quit the opiates all on her own and realized she'd been on them so long they weren't really doing anything to alleviate her back pain, but they were helping her mental issues. Once she quit them (around last Thanksgiving), her mental health started a steady decline that she tried to get through by self-medicating with her muscle relaxers and sleeping pills. She basically slept the day away and I would consider it a success if I could get her out of bed for 45 minutes to an hour a day. The problem is we have 2 young children (7 and 5) and I work from home. Once schools closed down due to Covid in March everything kind of hit the fan. I was trying to work and take care of 2 children while she was suffering and laying in bed all day long. I was at a total loss, I knew I couldn't just tell her to suck it up and get through it, mental health doesn't work like that, and I knew she wanted to be laying in bed all day least of all (I promise this relates to the non-monogamy I'm getting there lol). However, I was suffering greatly trying to watch our children, make sure I did my work so I wouldn't lose my job, and also try to give her as much attention as I could to make sure she didn't slip further away. Eventually, after buying more muscle relaxers online and using up all her sleeping pills she turned to alcohol and for a period of about 3 weeks she drank herself to sleep every night. The end result of this was her catching some kind of bug along with a UTI and vomitting non-stop for 3 days landing her in the hospital. While she was there she actually "escaped", found a liquor store, drank a bottle of vodka and then smashed it and slit her wrists to try and end her life (she sliced vertically, not horizontally, so I know she was serious). Luckily she was found before she died and ended up spending a week in a psych hospital where she finally was put on medications that helped her mental health. I was so happy that she seemed clear headed and not ruled by her anxiety for the first time in many years. She then went to a 30 day rehab facility in another state. While at the rehab facility she developed feelings for another man there the same age as her. She got home and didn't really mention it much at first, but eventually after she was talking to him more and more and realizing exactly what her feelings for this guy were she admitted to me that she wasn't sure she could be happy in a monogamous relationship anymore. I obviously felt completely blindsided. In my head, I had expectations of her coming home, finally being healthy, and us working on and improving our marriage which had honestly taken a total backseat since we had kids along with her mental and physical health problems.

Now, I should say that I am far from a perfect husband. I love my wife more than life itself but I have a tough time showing it in ways that make her happy. For example, while she was down in rehab she was only allowed to have her phone 3 days a week for a couple hours a day. You would think that I, missing her as much as I did and just wanting her to feel happy and safe and reassured after what she went through, might send her a text each day even if she didn't have her phone so when did get it she would see a couple nice messages waiting for her. I never did that, I just waited until I knew she would have her phone and if she didn't call me within 10 minutes or so I'd give her a call. There are many examples of crap like that throughout our marriage. She would often have smaller outpatient surgical procedures on her back, and that would involve me dropping her off at a surgery center then picking her up a few hours later, bringing her home, getting her set up in our bed with everything she needs, and then me going downstairs to do my work. I knew how much pain she was in and how uncomfortable she was up there, but usually I'd somehow just basically ignore her up there instead of going up and asking how she is doing, spending a few minutes with her, etc. It made her feel unloved and forgotten, and worse than that I think it made her feel like a burden that I just wanted to put down and forget about, even though that couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't know why my brain seems to be wired in such a way that even though in the past I've been told hey when you do this it bothers me, please don't do that, I still can't bring myself to correct it when the situation comes up again.

So, now back to the new guy, obviously in the beginning of any "relationship" stuff goes really well, you are learning about the person, having easy conversations, the dopamine is flowing etc, etc. She is getting all the attention that I did not give her from this new guy. I asked her to go to marriage counseling many times, and some times she says she can't do it, she doesn't have the energy or the bandwidth to concentrate on our relationship when she needs to concentrate on our children and herself, and other times she says ok. I finally found a therapist and will be receiving a call on Monday with an appt time, and I believe she's willing to do it, so we will see.

I just don't know what to do. I love her with all my heart, and I of course love my children even more, so I don't want to just break up, but at the same time I can't help but feel like she doesn't actually want an open relationship, she just wants to be able to be with this guy without guilt and without "cheating." I should also say since i work from home I really have no way or meeting any women to actually complete my end of the open relationship. I suppose I could get on tinder or whatever but I doubt many women would be interested in a married guy in his late 30s with 2 kids, even if I do convince them that I'm actually in an open marriage and not just some jerk lying in order to get laid. And all of that is assuming I actually want to go out on dates with other women, which I'm not sure I do. I never gave it any thought before, I always just assumed my wife and I would be together for the rest of our lives, and honestly cheating on her has never even crossed my mind, I've always been the type of guy who if the opportunity presented itself perfectly, in that a beautiful woman was propositioning me and there was 0% chance my wife would find out, I still wouldn't do it, I'm just not wired that way.

I logically and intellectually know that sex is just sex, but I don't know how well I'd handle her being intimate with another man, especially when it came time for she and I to have sex together after she was with the other guy, I'm just not sure mentally I'd be able to do it. I guess it sounds like the answer is obvious, that I'm not cut out for non-monogamy, but at the same time I want my wife to be happy so badly. It's hard to explain and I probably sound like a sucker, but she's had such a rough road for the last decade with her physical and mental health that I truly believe she deserves to be happy. I know it's impossible for both of us to end up completely happy here, but if the options are us getting a divorce and me only getting to see my kids half of the time (which will absolutely crush me) or us staying together and opening up our marriage even though I might not ever come to terms with it, well right now I think I'd choose the non-monogamy.

I'm sorry for this huge wall of text, and for anyone who has read the whole thing I really appreciate it and would appreciate even more anyone's advice or stories. Has anyone ever dealt with something similar, where you were not at all sure about opening things up but did it anyway? I'd love to hear the results. Thank you again.

Submitted August 21, 2020 at 02:24AM by ConfusedHusbandHere via reddit https://ift.tt/3aIwEA4