#I realise that

[dravenxivuk]

How this party works in any/every given situation:

Lily: I'm going to hit it really hard in the face, then hit it again

Her sneaky vampire boyfriend: You don't want to try lying to them a bit first, darling? No? Well, at least you make a good shield while I shoot them full of this exciting new poison I 'found'

Their large druid boyfriend: I'm going to throw lightening at everything else then turn into a bear if anything gets too close to our vampire. Healing? I suppose I could do that as well if the Oak Father wills it.

Their 8 foot tall, red, barbarian bestie: Another fight? Fuck yeah! Beers are on you later.

[duckbunny]

rrrgl

[yellowpoet]

hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

[o0kawaii0o]

M-miss nami sir...

[pistashxo]

they should invent a corporate negligence that doesn't whisper things to you

prints

[muisley]

happy new year everyone

[paintedcrows]

*through tears* HER LITTLE POG CHAMP

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[zdhe20]

duke thomas 😄

& him hanging out with the waynes :)

[bluegiragi]

couch potato.

early access + nsfw on patreon

[valtsv]

will never understand the misogynistic inclination to pigeonhole every female character into the "exasperated sensible mom friend" role as if there's anything better than a woman so devoid of maternal instincts that she makes wire mother look soft. woman who rolls over and walks out onto the balcony to smoke a post-coital cigarette alone and leaves without a note or any kind of acknowledgement after sleeping with you because she can't stand the vulnerability of sleeping next to someone, or waking up beside them the following morning. woman whose idea of relaxing is abusing substances alone in a dark corner somewhere, and snarling and snapping at anyone who approaches her, regardless of intent. woman so emotionally unavailable she fails or refuses to notice that her lame ass partner is trying to push the divorce papers until they've taken the kids and left a heartfelt but scathing note pinned to the fridge. woman with more vices than genuine friends. woman whose expression stays blank and arms remain limply at her sides when you wrap her up in yours for a hug. woman without a gentle touch in her body, with nothing but rough edges and sharp angles.

[nyenyel]

[Image description: a comic of Mabel from Gravity Falls. She looks sad at first, saying: "Whenever my crushes like me back it feels wrong."

Perking up, she says: "I guess I'm losing feelings! Time to choose a new crush!"

She looks through binoculars, and continues: "Which boy should I have a crush on? I want an epic summer romance!"

In the last panel, she's in front of the aromantic flag. She's staring blankly, saying: "What. What do you mean that's not how crushes work. What is comp-het?" End ID.]

I propose: Mabel is aromantic she just has comphet

[gongyussy]

deepthroating a gun without breaking eye contact...... he put his entire gongyussy into that | SQUID GAME 2

+ the video because the sound he makes when he puts the gun in his mouth? [redacted]

update: he improvised that. the man really said i'll go full slut.

[allskywalkerswhine]

in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda

[as-i-watch]

In which Senshi persistently tried to raise a middle aged guy due to cultural differences