#I probably shouldn’t post the fandom yet

[theatrevelyan]

Ok I haven’t written anything even remotely half completed nor decent in literally years but I had this idea for a fic and I had some free time so I decided to try and plot out an outline for fun. Just to get back into writing, you know?

Like it was just a “what if” scenario from canon anyway. And I was like “yeah, it will likely be a one shot. At best it can’t be more than a couple of chapters worth of material” …

It’s 6 pages.

The outline for the chapters, it’s six pages.

It’s not even super detailed, it’s just a summary for the chapters, that turned out to be 12 btw, and it’s six pages.

With no spacing.

It six pages of just plotting.

It’s SIX FUCKING PAGES.

I want to properly write this one out but it might take a bit more than I thought lol

Anyway I’ll keep you posted if I actually end up writing it or if I’ll die trying

[2amriize]

Hiii!

I’ve been a bit absent for a few days, so I’m here to give you a brief summary of what’s happened. First of all, I hope you’re all doing well, and if not, you can always talk to me.

I haven’t posted any content in several days because I’ve been traveling to Madrid to meet my boyfriend (Eunseok) and see RIIZE at the Music Bank! Despite the rain and cold, I had a great time! They’re really good-looking in person, I swear. PLUS, THEY DANCED “GET A GUITAR!!!” which is my favorite song. But they seemed too serious, and I was really confused seeing them; I didn’t understand why. Even though we all shouted “Riize is 7” together, they didn’t show any reaction, and while I enjoyed their performance, I feel like they weren’t very energized.

On Friday, I was so happy that Seunghan returned, and Wonbin’s post defending him made me really happy too. I don’t understand what could have happened. I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but I can’t stand the Korean and Chinese fans. I feel like they are too harsh on Seunghan and treat him like he’s the worst person in the world when he hasn’t done anything wrong. And in the end, he had to resort to this. In my opinion, I still can’t accept it, and with all the movement happening, I hope something can change. It feels like a really difficult situation because the fandom is currently divided in two, and one side isn’t going to get what it wants.

Most of you probably already know, but here’s a link to sign and support Seunghan:

https://www.change.org/p/we-want-seunghan-back-riize-is-7

I haven’t even been able to cry yet because I simply don’t understand the situation. I don’t get why something like this has to happen to them and why part of their fandom is so harsh on them. I just want to hug them and tell them that it’s not their fault.

I have some works ready to post, so I guess I’ll be back soon. If I seem a bit more out of it, it’s because of all this situation, but maybe writing helps me not think about it.

I will always write about RIIZE as a group of 7 members.

[inbarfink]

So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

[dykedvonte]

I saw your earlier post and you mentioned how people say things like "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" and you're so right cuz it drives me insane the way people want to hate Curly as much as Jimmy so they start saying really concerning stuff. Like is that not just victim blaming? Is saying "Curly is a grown ass man" not just rephrasing "why didn't she fight back?" It feels like the fandom think they can just say vile shit because his abuse wasn't physical (at first, and don't even get me started on anyone saying he deserved to be abused as if any kind of abuse can be justified) and he's a guy. Makes me wonder if people would bother seeing Curly as another victim if he was a woman or if discussion would be equally as insufferable because he's still not the "perfect victim" compared to Anya

It's crazy the way people say "I would've fixed everything unlike Curly" and then continue brushing off a victim and saying they deserved it. Even Curly acknowledged Anya's suffering even if he failed to help her in the end, and yet the fandom acts like this without any self-awareness (sorry for ranting like this but I'm just very tired of the fandom recently)

What worse about those comments and the sentiments is it’s often used when people are discussing him as a victim. Like acknowledging the abuse he also faced with Jimmy and that it shouldn’t matter or have an effect because he needed to “man up” and deal with it due to his position.

He needed to deal with it more effectively yes, but it is really victim blamey in the sense he should’ve just been able to. I talked about if Curly was a girl people would probably still judge her on the basis of being more experienced and accomplished and also needing to know better. The problem is that every is trying to treat what Anya and Curly went through on a comparative level. The game does not try to do that but instead tries to have their abuse parallel each other and be metaphorical, along with show the subtle and explicit ways abusers treat their victims.

People see how Jimmy and Curly parallel each other and create the idea “they deserved each other” in some weird ironic penance stance on both their parts. It’s just so odd because the game clearly shows that not a single person was deserving of their situation and especially the treatment under Jimmy at any point for any reason. The game centers around everyone paying for callous actions he commits and refuses to take responsibility for and yet the conversation center around one of his most tormented victims being questioned on how deserving he was of it/how it shouldn’t have effected him that badly.

I know you can be mad at Curly but making it out that if he was a real good man than he just would’ve had the balls to stand up to what was likely years of emotional and mental degradation still perpetuates the idea if a victim really didn’t like the treatment they would’ve just fought back harder or not put themselves into that position in the first place.

It goes back to the idea that there’s always a way to stop it and it’s on you if it happens. It’s again taking focus off the perpetrator and putting it on other aspects than the ever present source. Idk man but it’s like people are trying to make so many slightly different think pieces on MW that some just loop back to harmful rhetoric we were just moving away from.

[annaraebananawriter]

(Request) I Bet You Were the Best Brother

It's been a while since I posted a oneshot, so I hope this 5k one manages to make up for that.

As I've mentioned before, been going through a bit of a writer's block that is finally going away. Some it still lingers, but it is infinitely better. Feels like I can breathe again. So, everyone reading this that struggles with writer's block at the moment--know that it will go away. You will be able to write again. It's not a matter of if, only when. You will be able to write again.

Anyway, I don't have any other major life updates for you, so I guess I'll let you start reading now. Happy reading! Let me know what you thought!!

Fandom: Undertale/UTMV

Characters: Dream and Nightmare (Who belong to Joku)

Warnings: A character losing their memory and swearing and I think that’s it. Let me know!

Summary: Ilike_cringe (Fri 14 Oct 2022): "here is a request :>. Could you make it that nightmare might have hit dream tooo hard in a fight that (bear with me ) Dream lost his memory ( if you could could you add more spice \^o^/)"

Word Count: 5395

~oOo~

Nightmare wanted there to be a note that the fight started off normal.

His gang showed up, causing some ruckus. He hung out in the background observing, soaking in the new misery like a sponge, keeping an eye out for the tell-tale sign that the Star Sanses had shown up. In today’s case, that ended up being an arrow flying at one of his boys, which barely got dodged, the blue glow disappearing as it left eyesight. Grinning, he had taken it as his cue to join in, grabbing Dream by the ankles as he notched another one, and throwing him across the space.

Not too hard, of course. He didn’t want his brother out of commission quite yet. That was always the fun part about the fight, seeing him defeated. It needs to be drawn out a bit, though, for it to be really satisfying.

Dream recovered from the toss quickly, though he was soaked head to toe—he had unintentionally tossed him into the river. Whoops. The annoyed look on his brother’s face made his grin widen even more. They quickly fell into their routine after that, trading blows and insults, slowly moving away from the others. Another toss had them entering the woods, which resulted in a lot of fallen trees, a clear indicator of where they’d gone.

A cliff came into view, with Dream’s back to it. Nightmare didn’t take much note of it at the time, too preoccupied—his brother had just gotten a pretty bad hit to the back of his skull, making him stumble. Pausing for a minute, he gave him some time to get his bearings back before attacking again, pushing him closer to the cliff edge.

So…technically, this whole thing could be considered his fault, but how was he supposed to know what would happen?

The cliff seemed perfectly safe in the normal dangerous way!

This means the fight was going great until the cliff crumbled under Dream’s feet, making him shriek, eyes widening, his bow dispersing as he pinwheeled backward. Nightmare froze, staring at the now absent spot with eyes equally as wide, tentacles raised to strike.

Then it went silent.

 “…shit,” he hissed, automatically turning around in case his brother teleported at the last second to safety. It wouldn’t be the first time, so it shouldn’t be the last time.

No one was there.

He waited.

Still no one.

Maybe Dream was just in shock, still picking himself up. Turning back, Nightmare stepped closer to the cliff, small rocks tumbling after the larger ones from his movements. If he leaned over, he could probably tell…ah, no. Nope, that was just a bunch of trees. His brother was probably under those trees. Probably just picking himself up.

He’ll return in no time.

Nightmare just had to wait.

So, he did.

For one minute. Then two. Then…honestly, he lost track of the minutes after that, glancing back and forth around the clearing, looking over his shoulder at the cliff like Dream would just suddenly appear, having climbed up for some stupid reason. Any minute now, the fight will be back on, continuing as usual…any minute now…

…any minute…

…any—

Okay, so.

Something was wrong.

Turning back to the cliff, he glared at the edge. It was its fault this was happening. Why did it decide to crumble now? Particularly when Dream was on it? Why?

Now his brother was somewhere below, dazed as hell, without the clear thinking necessary to teleport, or injured badly enough to be unconscious—and as soon as that thought popped into existence, he shoved it away, then took time to quell the rising panic in his soul.

No, no, that’s not possible. Dream’s far more durable than that. Sure, it’s a cliff, and cliff’s cause damage, even to immortal beings, but still. His brother could heal, so shouldn’t that work on himself, make him more…invulnerable, or something? Unless…he couldn’t actually heal himself and he’s just been assuming that he could this entire time…no, that couldn’t be possible. Nightmare’s pretty sure he’d remember that if it were the case.

So…what happened?

Maybe…maybe Dream was just staying down there for a while.

He’ll probably join again in a bit.

Yeah, that’s probably it. So, he should really go back and help his boys. Hey, maybe Dream’s already there! Maybe he went to his friends instead. Makes sense, makes sense…

He should go help his boys now, he’s been standing here too long.

And…he wasn’t moving.

Why wasn’t he moving?

Dream’s fine. He’s back at the main fight. It’s something that’s happened before. It should be something that happened here. It’s fine. He can go back. So…what kept him here, staring around like his brother would magically appear, a tight feeling in his chest that threatened to steal the air away from his non-existent lungs?

Maybe…maybe he should just go down there, check on Dream—

That was another thought pushed away. No, hell no. If he gave in to that though, if he went down there to check, now, after too much time has already passed for that to be considered just moving the fight along, that’d be…that’s cause his brother to hope. Hope that things could go back to the way things were before the apples. He can’t go through the painstaking steps needed to crush that hope, put off the last stubborn spark that remained until he was sure it wouldn’t create another flame. Not again.

Besides, he didn’t even care. Not that much. Sure, yeah, he cared somewhat, always would—that’s just naturally part of being a brother. But the majority of how much he cared was in the past, before everything was plucked off a tree in the form of a black apple and devoured. That care no longer exists, taken over by the need to win all these fights, making the scales tip in his direction.

It just…didn’t exist. He didn’t care.

(Some days, it was harder to convince himself of this fact than others.

This was one of them.)

He didn’t care, so he should so rejoin his boys, and get out of this AU.

This time, he teleported.

It was an easy win. Dream never came back.

When it came time to go home, Nightmare couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering away from his boys, who were celebrating as usual, over to the trees. In the direction of the cliff, even if he couldn’t see it from here.

The tight feeling in his chest squeezed and squeezed. His tentacles flicked nervously behind him. For some reason, he kept thinking that now was the moment his brother would appear, now was the moment he could stop all this silly, stupid worry, go back to being angry. And the longer he looked, the more that thought wavered and shook, gathering speed as it transformed into a tornado that threatened to consume all of his other priorities until he made sure Dream was okay. But the only way to do that was to go and check, and leaving now would just make the boys confused and worried, which he could not handle right now.

Besides, he was sure it was fine.

He got them all home before he could convince himself otherwise, before the urge to make sure was too overpowering. To make sure he was really distracted, he holed himself up in his office, pulling out some paperwork—which wasn’t even real paperwork, just a bunch of sudoku and word searches and other puzzles printed out to make it look like he was working on important stuff.

For the most part, it worked. Kept his mind too busy to think about what happened.

Then he got to one particular word search that—and he is not joking or exaggerating this part—had three words at the bottom for him to find, all in a row, that read: ‘Dream’, ‘injury’, and ‘concussion’. Isn’t that just the strangest collection of words you’ve ever seen? The surreal coincidence of the words made Nightmare stare down at the page for a minute, completely gobsmacked. Who the hell was writing these word searches, and why the fuck did they include these three specific words on the same one?

It was like a sign or something…

Sneering, Nightmare tore the word search up into tiny pieces, sitting back in his chair, spinning around and around. Trying very hard not to think about the three words. And how his brother never came back. And how the yelp he let out when he fell just fell silent and how he never bothered to check and—

And now he was thinking about it.

“Fuck.”

Growling to himself, he stopped spinning in his chair. Then, he promptly stood and teleported back to the AU.

Leaning over the cliff again, he teleported down. His brother wasn’t anywhere in the immediate proximity—though, why would he be? This was all just a waste of time—so he started walking around, ducking under some tree branches. When he fell, Dream would’ve had to have landed somewhere around here…though he still wasn’t sure why he was searching.

His brother was probably gone by now. His friends probably came to collect him.

Why did he think he’d find him here, lying on the ground as if nothing happened? As if he just decided to take an impromptu nap, in the snow and in wet clothes and…

Oh. Oh, shit.

That was actually Dream lying there in front of him.

Fuck.

Almost tripping over himself, Nightmare hurried over, falling to his knees beside his brother. His hands hovered in the air around him, unsure what to do. “Dream?” he called, hoping to wake him up. Nothing happened.

Dream didn’t move.

For a soul-stopping moment, Nightmare actually thought he might be dead. Panic swirled in his chest, choking him, until he remembered that if they were dead, their body would turn to dust. Presumably, anyway, since they had no real way of knowing that until they…y’know…actually died, but still. The thought allowed him to gather himself enough to Check his brother, make sure of it. It said he was fine, if missing a chunk of health.

Nightmare breathed out, hating how shaky it was. “Idiot, making me worry for nothing…” he muttered to himself, looking down at his brother, frowning. Shaking his shoulder, he raised his voice a bit, eager to wake him up, make sure he left to wherever, hopefully back to his friends, and get home himself before his boys wondered where he went off to. “Dream. Wake up.”

No response. Dream was still. Breathing—he double-checked, just to be sure—but still.

Frowning, he shook him again, rougher. Still nothing.

Even unconscious, his brother insisted on being annoying. Scowling, he sat back on his heels. “If you don’t wake up, I’m going to kick you.”

Nothing.

Welp. His hand was forced.

Standing, Nightmare kicked Dream in the side—not too hard, of course, he’s not a complete monster. Just enough that he woke up.

Which he did.

Finally.

Nightmare rolled his eye to himself, crossing his arms as he watched his brother groan, coming to. A hand half-raised to his head before stopping, eyes blinking open and squinting against the light. His eyelights were paler than normal, just a hair bigger, too. He could see the exact moment they focused in, his brother clocking that there’s someone standing above him, but Dream didn’t panic, didn’t seem to be anything more than confused.

Dream blinked again. “Hi.”

Nightmare raised a brow bone. Seriously? That’s it? He fought the urge to roll his eye again. “What are you still doing here?”

His brother seemed to get more confused. “What?”

Wondering if the fall knocked loose some brain cells, Nightmare scowled. “What do you mean, ‘what’? You know what. What are you still doing here? This is, like, the most uncomfortable spot to have a nap.” Without waiting for him to answer, he continued, waving a hand around. He couldn’t let the opportunity to mock him go by. “And why didn’t you rejoin the fight? I thought you had a duty to protect the positivity in the multiverse.”

“Um…” Dream blinked for a third time, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He laughed, nervously, like a reflex, and when he opened his eyes again, they were fuzzy again. “Sorry, you went a bit fast for me there. Could you repeat that?”

Ugh. Now he was just being difficult.

“You’re so annoying.” Nightmare said, stepping away. “Just get up and get out of here.”

Looking up at him, the words seemed to take a few minutes to sink in. Then, nodding, Dream tried to stand, movements jerky, as if he was figuring out how to move them for the first time again. When he stood, he wobbled, tilting over a bit before righting himself.

Nightmare realized he had stepped forward, ready to catch him should he fall, and retreated, tucking his hands back into his arms.

Damnit. He was slipping. He had to get out here, fast.

“I’m alright.” Dream said, clearly noticing his misstep. He was smiling. Nightmare had to look away before the sight made him feel warm inside. “Just a bit dizzy.”

“Whatever,” Nightmare said in return, leaving it at that.

Still smiling, his brother shifted on his feet, looking down at his hands and clenching them into fists a couple of times. His gaze wandered back up to him, and then away, looking around them with a curious, still confused, look. It was almost like he was trying to figure out where he was, as if he wasn’t just in a fight here earlier.

He couldn’t have forgotten that fast, could he? And what was he still doing here?

Shouldn’t he be opening a portal by now?

“What are you waiting for?”

Snapping back to look at him, Dream didn’t seem to understand the question. “Huh?”

Waving a hand again, tentacles flicking behind him, Nightmare’s scowl deepened. Why the fuck was he acting so weird? “Open a portal already and go home. Your friends are probably worried sick by now.”

(He ignored the voice in his head that said he was starting to get worried, too.)

“Right, right.” Dream nodded, trying and failing to look like he knew what he was talking about. “A portal…see, um, I would do that…but, uh…” Looking around again, shifting some more, his smile turned sheepish. “Well, I don’t remember, exactly, how to do that.”

Nightmare did not return the smile, unamused. He just stared.

What the fuck? What was he playing at? What was the point in drawing all this out? Nostalgia? What did he get out of acting so weird? What was going on here?

“Do you think this is a fucking game?” Nightmare asked, voice slipping off into a growl. His tentacles moved restlessly. He was getting agitated now. He just wanted to go home, get back to his puzzles, and maybe sleep for a week. But no, he was here, playing along with this stupidness, unable to get a grasp on what was happening.

Dream looked alarmed, holding his hands up and shaking them furiously. “No! No—”

“Then why the fuck are you wasting my time? I come out here, in the middle of the evening, to make sure you’re good, and you decide to, what, pull a joke on me?” Unable to curb his irritation, he shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “Stars, I hate you. I’m reminded now why I don’t bother doing this for you. You never take it seriously.” Turning he started to walk away, hearing Dream stutter excuses behind him.

He didn’t want to hear any excuses. He was done. He was going home.

“It’s not—I’m not joking,” Dream called after him, footsteps crunching on the snow as he chased after him.

“Of course, you are!” Nightmare sighed, in annoyance or anger or both of them combined. He didn’t care anymore. “You always are!” He didn’t bother stopping or turning around. Just continued on. And then he remembered he didn’t have to walk away at all, could just make a portal out. Turning his annoyance to himself, he raised a hand to do so—

“I don’t remember that.”

—and stopped.

The statement struck the right chord, making something inside him fall to the pit of his stomach, pricking him uncomfortably. Slowly, he turned to face Dream again, paying more attention. “…what?”

“I—I don’t remember that,” Dream said, tone so genuine, eyes so wide and confused and even scared that it seemed to create a physical attack on his soul. Raising a hand, his brother held it to his head. “I thought if I waited a bit, I might remember something, but I don’t. It’s all just…blank. I don’t know anything you’re talking about, like the fight or my friends. I place any faces to them or names or anything.” He let his hand fall, shaking his head as he turned his gaze down to his feet, speaking softly. “I just don’t remember.”

The words pushed Nightmare out of the present, sending him spiraling into the black hole opening in his ribs, right where his soul is. They pressed in on him, reverberating, turning into a high pitch that buzzed inside him, threatening to cut off his breath.

He didn’t want to believe the words. In fact, he was trying his absolute best not to. Excuses flew through, nitpicking through the explanation and finding words that betrayed the real truth. He told himself over and over that no matter what, no matter how injured he got, Dream would never allow this to happen. His brother would hold onto himself with an iron grip, too desperate to let go, and the Multiverse would allow him to hold on because it was just another being that favored him. They would not let their favorite Guardian lose his precious memories, not for all the stories it brought them.

No, it just wasn’t possible. He was lying—though the reason why was unclear, and nothing could really justify it, he had to be lying. It was a trick, a ploy, maybe even a trap. Yes, that’s it. Any minute now, the other Star Sanses would jump out, pull their weapons, and Dream would drop this façade and go back to pleading with him and when it didn’t work, when Nightmare lashed out in anger, he would pull out his bow and—and—

It just---it had to be a trick.

It had to.

It…

His eyes didn’t look like he was lying, though.

No matter how long he searched, how close he looked, it was a blank sheet of gold. He found confusion, yes, he found anxiety—nothing new there—but he did not find any recognition. Hope and helplessness, but no relief in having someone he knew find him. Even now, as his brother looked around the clearing, he only saw curiosity, as if he hadn’t seen this place before, as if he had just arrived, as if he had just woken up and was in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. The eyes came back to his, smiled at him, and—

And they were still blank.

A ghost.

The black hole in his ribs widened, pulling him in faster. Digging his heels in, he resisted with everything he had, swimming back out. He had to confirm this, he told himself, had to make sure this was the truth. If there was any chance he did remember, whether that be his friends or his title or Night—

Well, Nightmare just had to find it. He had to.

He heard himself speak before he was fully back in his body. “Did you hit your skull?”

“Ah, maybe?” Dream tilted his head, reaching around to the base of it before retracting quickly, wincing. “Yes. Yeah, I did.”

“Turn around.”

Obedient, Dream did, and Nightmare stepped closer, observing the crack. It wasn’t as bad as he was expecting—certainly not as big—but it was still enough to make bile climb up the back of his throat. Swallowing it down, he darted his gaze around it, taking in the gaping black hole, about the size of a cherry, thinner cracks webbing out from around it. It had blood crusted on the edges, and he was sure that if he took the time to look around the cliff, he’d find matching spots.

Absently reaching out, he traced along the wound with his fingers. Stars, how he wished he knew how to heal. This would be so much easier.

Dream pulled away after his fingers made contact, and he let his hand fall as he turned back, already apologizing. “Sorry! Sorry, that just…really hurt.” He laughed again, but it petered out as he caught sight of Nightmare’s face. “Oh…that bad of a sight, huh?”

“You said…” Nightmare swallowed again, ignoring those words. “You said you don’t remember anything?” The feeling in the pit of his stomach clenched.

“No.” Oblivious, Dream shook his head. “The latest memory I have is of you standing over me. Before that…” Tilting his head again, his brother thought about it, ultimately coming up with nothing. No spark in his eyes. “Nothing.” He looked regretful, like he wished he could be of more help. “Sorry.”

There he went again, apologizing.

Nightmare was going to have to have a talk with him about that. He can’t keep saying sorry for things that he didn’t need to say sorry for in the first place.

First, however, was dealing with—this.

“So…” He didn’t want to ask the next question. It burned in his throat, made his tongue curl in preparation, the words too ugly to even think about. Why did it need to be said? He already knew the answer to it. Why did he insist on asking it when he knew what was going to be said? He would rather them stand like this forever than ask it.

That was a risk, though. And he would really like to get some sleep tonight—even if that might be impossible the longer this sank in. They should really wrap this up soon.

That meant asking uncomfortable questions.

Swallowing himself down, Nightmare let the question go. It couldn’t hurt to ask, anyway. “You don’t remember me?” The words lingered in the air, an odd hint of emotion to them, something fragile and vulnerable.

(He knew the answer to why he wanted to ask this.

Somehow, somewhere inside him, there was still a need that maybe something would be remembered. If the longer they talked, the greater the chance the memories would just snap back into place. That the hollow feeling of having someone you grew up with look at you like one would a stranger would disappear, replaced by joy or anger or tears, anything else.

Inside, if nothing else, he needed there to be a chance he’d be remembered.)

It felt like hope.

“No.” Dream answered, the shaking of his head feeling like salt poured into open wounds. He seemed disappointed in himself, upset he couldn’t help. For him, this was failing at giving someone what they wanted.

For Nightmare, this was confirmation.

(It felt like denial.)

(There was a stinging in his chest. Where did it come from?)

“Where you someone important?”

Nightmare automatically bristled. “I—” He stopped himself, glaring down at the ground while clenching his jaw.

His instinct was to say that, of course he was. He was Dream’s brother. They grew up together. They were, still are, two halves of the same coin, two halves to the same balance. Despite everything, that had to mean something.

But that wasn’t the truth, was it?

Not anymore.

Maybe one time, before The Incident, before the villagers came to them. It was just the two of them, after all. And Mother, but she couldn’t really say much, or do anything beyond existing. Maybe then they were each other’s most important person. And maybe it would’ve stayed that way had everything not gone to shit.

But the point was, that was in the past.

Whatever they had, it was gone. In more ways than one now…

Inhaling, Nightmare looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets. “That…depends on your definition of important.”

They had other people in their lives now. He had his gang, his boys. Though he often complained about their foolishness and called them idiots, not once had he ever wished he hadn’t met them. Dream, he knew, felt much the same about Ink and Blue. Neither of them would trade their friends for the world.

Even for each other.

“I was—” Nightmare sighed, rolling back his shoulders. “I’m your brother. Nightmare.” He forced himself to look back at Dream, even if the eye contact burned his soul with something uncomfortable. “Your name is Dream, by the way. In case you forgot that, too.”

“Cool!” Dream paused and gasped, beaming as he made the connection. “Our names match!”

“Yeah.” Nightmare said, forcing himself to smile back. “Yeah, they do.” Of course they did, he thought to himself. That’s the reason why they chose the names.

Brow furrowing, Dream tilted his head. “Wait, if we’re brothers, wouldn’t I just live with you, then?”

“What?” Nightmare felt himself frown in return. “Why do you think we’d live together?”

Strange, considering Dream didn’t even remember him.

(There was that stinging again.)

“I-I don’t know, I just…I have this feeling that brothers should be living together. That they need to live together. I don’t know why, but it’s a very strong feeling.” Dream raised a hand to his chest, hovering over where his soul would be. “When I think about you, um, that feeling gets all…strange.”

This caught his attention. “Strange?”

“Yeah.” Nodding slowly, Dream worked through it, finding what to call it. “I think it…I think it turns jealous, somehow.”

Nightmare stared.

Jealous…?

That couldn’t be right. Dream had to be reading it wrong.

There was nothing to be jealous about. His brother always had the perfect life. What more could he want?

If anything, he should be the one jealous. He’s the only one who deserves to be jealous. Jealous of the way people were always drawn to his brother over himself, the way people thought everything of the sun and nothing of the moon, even though they both shared the same light. It was his right to be envious, his right to look upon the past and view it with bitterness. It was his right to look at the present, now, when Dream still has his friends and his standing and still has everyone revolving around him.

At least he can find relief, find arrogance, in the fact that he found his own friends, his own group of people who looked up to him. It took years, it took work, but he found them.

He didn’t need Dream anymore.

(So, what if sometimes he looked at his brother and his friends and felt a longing to join them?

So, what if he found the way they laughed, the way they treated each other, a reminder that he’s done too many things to be treated like that again?

So, what if he’s tired of fighting all the time and wants to go back to how things were, while knowing that could never happen, while looking across the battlefield into golden eyes that reflected the same kind of feelings and—and…oh.

Oh.

Oh, they would never escape being peas in a pod, would they?)

“Hey, you mentioned my friends, though.” Dream said, brightening up again, looking around like they might just pop up. Not that he would recognize them. “Maybe we could find them and they could help me get home. What do you think of that?”

Maybe, Nightmare thought, looking away as well. He couldn’t lie, it would be nice to leave this place, and dump the responsibility of an amnesiac onto someone else. Especially the Guardians of the Multiverse, the coveted Star Sanses.

But something twisting in his stomach stopped him from agreeing.

He thought, all too suddenly, about how he came back hours later to his brother still lying in relatively the same spot he fell. Meaning Ink and Blue never came back to look for him after they retreated. You’d think, for monsters that claimed to be his best friends, they’d be out here the minute the battle was over, bringing Dream back home to be checked on.

Why should he trust his brother with those two, when they didn’t even search for him? They probably don’t even know he’s missing. They certainly don’t know he’s injured. He can’t help but wonder what their reactions would’ve been to this memory loss.

Too bad he won’t find out.

“I think they’re busy, actually.” Nightmare decided, making a split decision that he hoped wasn’t wrong. “And going to be busy for the week yet.”

 “Oh…”

Dream looked disappointed. Hurt.

The look on his face only solidified Nightmare’s decision. His tentacles curled in satisfaction. “You can come home with me, though. Stay for a bit.”

“Really?” Starting to brighten yet again, Dream seemed to hesitate, searching to make sure he was telling the truth.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome.” Dream’s smile lit up the forest, and Nightmare turned himself away before he found himself getting soft because of it. Raising a hand to open the portal, he heard Dream chuckle behind him. “I gotta say, even though I don’t remember it, I bet you were the best brother ever.”

The words were said so confidently, so…normally…it made Nightmare freeze. The portal wobbled in front of him, but stayed open, and he blinked at it a couple of times before he turned back to his brother.

His mouth was dry, for a reason he couldn’t yet understand.

“What?”

“Well, I mean…it’s like you said. You came all this way, in the middle of the night, to check on me. You were worried. And then, when you found me, you stayed to wake me up, even though you technically already completed your goal. You didn’t just leave. And you checked my injury without me asking you to, and told me my name, and now you’re offering to let me stay at your place.”

Dream’s smile turned smaller, more vulnerable. “It just seems like a very nice thing to do.”

Nightmare’s gaze was frozen, locked onto that genuine, soft smile. The last sentence played on a loop, ringing inside his skull.

A very nice thing to do.

In any other situation, the suggestion would be laughable.

But like this…

(There was that stinging. Again. Why won’t it just go away?)

He thought back to the fight that happened earlier. How he reveled in the pain he caused, how much fun he had taunting his brother. How often he attacked him, without worry or caution. How eager he was to throw him around into trees, back him up into a cliff. He hadn’t even thought about what might happen, too giddy, too smug. All he wanted to do was put him in his place…he hadn’t even cared that he was bleeding…hadn’t even reached out to try and save him when the cliff crumbled…

How long had Dream laid there, in the snow, still in wet clothes?

What did he think as he watched Nightmare watch him fall?

How can that be called nice?

How can what happened during The Incident be called nice? What kind of brother turned his twin into stone, and left him in a dead AU all alone, knowing full well that he would one day return? What kind of brother picked an apple he was supposed to protect in the first place? What kind of brother was he?

Certainly not the kind this Dream was talking about…

“Right.” Nightmare said, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. He understood why this time. He wanted to throw up. “Thanks.”

Dream didn’t notice anything wrong. Still smiling away. As always. Always. “No problem!” Rocking back on his heels, he started to look around as his attention span waned with no portal to go through.

Still, Nightmare did not move to open it.

Instead, he found himself changing tracks. Jumping train from thinking about how bad of a brother he was, to how good of a brother Dream was.

Is.

Was.

Stars, this was so confusing…

“You weren’t that bad of a brother yourself.” Nightmare said, and this time the words were better tasting. At least this way, something true would be said here.

Dream looked back at him, surprised, with a spark of confusion. Then, even if he didn’t know everything Nightmare was talking about, he smiled, taking it as the compliment it was. “Aw, thanks.”

Nodding, Nightmare finally managed to open the portal, letting Dream go through first. He hesitated to follow, looking around the AU again. For some reason, he felt like he would still find his brother, memories and all, waiting for him if he looked hard enough. But he wouldn’t. He knew that.

At least, he had to accept that.

That stinging again…

Showing it down once again, Nightmare turned and went home.

(It’s only after Dream is settled into one of the guest bedrooms—stocked with fresh bedsheets and a fresh pair of clothes for the next day borrowed from Nightmare’s own closet—and he’s back in the safety of his office that he lets his composure finally break. Choking, he slides down his door, hand clasped over his mouth to keep as quiet as possible.

It’s only then that he lets himself cry.

Cry about how he never reached out to catch his brother when he first fell.

Cry about what his brother thought before splitting his skull on a rock.

Cry about the stranger left in his brother’s body.

Cry about everything.)

[famousinfamous]

ok that’s it I’ve seen so much Alden slander and Alden defenders and I’m about to pinch the next person who says ‘he’s a good parent’ or ‘he’s a horrible person’ like I swear. Look ok Alden sent not one but two of his children to the forbidden cities alone. It sounds like alvar was old enough that he’d be mostly ok but Fitz? He would stand in the same spot for one to two hours just watching some random girl and while so much of the fandom over exaggerates that making it sound like he’d be there for days or smth it’s still very dangerous especially for someone that young. In fact staying in the same spot is probably worse that moving around because that way no-one can tell if you’re being followed or watched. It’s still very dangerous and it’s a miracle he didn’t get kidnapped or smth. Secondly I think what literally everyone forgets is going to the forbidden cities is illegal, as in if you get caught you’ll probably be banished. And we’ve seen what the council does they’d probably have no qualms about banishing a 7 or 8 year old if they had years of incriminating evidence. What do you think would happen if Alden went to prison and Fitz got banished? Would Alden leave biana to start the search, because he knew how important it was? Would she agree not wanting to disappoint her father? Would she get caught to? Would the entire family be banished? Probably. Know you might be thinking after all that and countless other things that prove Alden is not responsible or even remotely well prepared for the position he’s in(that I will be making posts about by the way) why don’t I hate him? Because honestly, I get it. If you look at the way Alden puts his work before his family (whether that work is council provided or not) and the way he treats and raises his children almost as if he’s their mentor or teacher, rather than their father I think the answer becomes quite clear he doesn’t know how to raise a child or how to look after a family because he never wanted one. But before Fitz he was the golden child of the vacker family and everyone expected him to have kids and start a family and pass on his ‘pure genes’ as elves like to dub them. So he did. And now he has no idea what he’s doing. And I get that. Being shoved into a part you don’t want to play, that you don’t know how to play is so hard and it hurts when you see people getting hurt because of mistakes that you shouldn’t be making because you’re supposed to know what you’re doing but you don’t because people read you wrong and don’t understand that this isn’t what you were made for. And so to some it up: Alden was supposed to be the irresponsible yet cool single uncle who flies around in a private jet and tries to take you to see the titanic but your parents said no so he bought you a Lamborghini instead but society said no fuck you here have some meat sacks and handed him Alvar Fitz and Biana and now he doesn’t know how to un-fuck-them-up because god damn it Alden stop involving your children in illegal activities and treating them like your their your students or smth and everyone else could you stop shaming children for not reaching your ridiculously high expectations!

[writing-for-life]

Tags, Glorious Tags

Some encouragement to follow and check them more consistently…

So I did a little experiment: Tags with under 1k followers don’t get their numbers shown on Tumblr. I put the Sandman characters through the search, and while there were no big surprises (if we think about the main fandom demographic), the numbers were still staggering.

I tried all sorts of different iterations, too, and included the higher/most frequently used ones:

Note to self: “Lucienne the librarian” is not a popular tag. Welp, I shall tag differently in the future.

Two outliers because people will also follow these for the Lucifer/Hellblazer series/comics, not The Sandman:

That’s it. All other characters have under 1,000 followers. I’ve also added the shipping tags to the bottom of this post. Read them and weep/laugh/whatever feels right.

Even if we take into consideration that the characters who already made an appearance in the series will get higher numbers than the ones that non-comic readers haven’t met yet (because let’s be honest: This is currently largely a TV-, not a comics fandom):

Where is Desire (I find that really surprising considering I constantly read how much people love Mason)?

Where is Despair?

Where is Calliope (she has a tag, but that’s in no way Sandman related. All Sandman ones are under 1k)?

Where is Johanna Constantine (also extremely surprising to me)?

Where is Rose Walker, who had a whole arc?

Where are Fiddler’s Green, Unity (both too old presenting, I get it, but it’s just driving the point home that it’s not about narrative importance but having the hots 🤣), Gault, Nada, to just name a few?

This has nothing to do with screen time allocated to characters, as should also be obvious. Even Matthew is more popular than other (mostly female) characters who drive the story, or are at least a big part of it.

It would be easy to say, “Well, these are just the favourites, nothing we can do about that.” And while that’s true, it’s also not quite as simple…

Fandom favourites vs checking the tags

As someone who runs a Sandman blog that tries to cover all characters (and of course I cover some more than others, so it’s definitely not about that) and isn’t too interested in shipping, I can see how the reblogs stack—they come through people’s mutuals, not through tags (bar the popular two or three).

But if we really love a character, we need to check and follow their tags consistently, and I can tell that’s often not the case but for said popular two or three. Posts for those tend to get default engagement because even people who don’t follow me check these tags, and they reblog straight from there (i.e. not through a third person). Other characters though? Only if someone with a relatively popular blog reblogs (and that hardly ever happens, and if it does, it’s usually for Death, Delirium and maybe Lucienne). It never happens straight through the tags.

Which also makes it somewhat worth thinking about that we, on the one hand, bemoan that no one cares about certain characters while at the same time heavily relying (maybe not even consciously) on mutuals who do check tags to feed that stuff into our dash (and we probably often don’t scroll down very far either). I see those little fandom bubbles very clearly because my blog is pretty broad (as in not ship-centric) and I notice, on the regular, who kicks off the chain for those underappreciated characters no one but them goes into the tags for (you’re doing the Lord’s work 🫂).

This is not about saying some characters should be more popular or others shouldn’t, because people like what they like, and that’s okay. Morpheus is and always will be my favourite, and apparently, I’m in good company 😉

But I also love other characters of narrative importance, and if we want to see their art, their fics, their metas, we need to follow and, above all, check their tags. Regularly. Because that stuff is there. Maybe not quite as plentiful, but the problem is also: If no one interacts with it, people just give up.

But we need to actively look for it ourselves, not just through our mutuals. We also need to think about reblogging more. Liking is great but doesn’t quite cut it for the characters we want to see more of. It’s not how Tumblr works.

And if you create, it’s also good to keep in mind that some people will occasionally say they like or even love those characters, but they factually don’t love them enough to follow their tags. There’s nothing wrong with that per se, but the pipeline maintains itself fairly effortlessly while left field stuff is definitely more and harder individual work. And I get that it can feel tiring at times (ask me how I know).

But long story short: Please don’t let it discourage you so it turns into a vicious cycle. Keep on checking the tags, because there are people who create for them. Don’t just like but also reblog. Keep on tagging your stuff so people who love other characters than the main two or three, and those who ship rare pairs, can find you. (Remember that only the first five tags show up in tracked tags and only the first 20 will show up in searches, and that reblogs show up in neither.) It’s hard to cut through the popular tags, but it becomes even harder if fewer and fewer people are trying.

Plus: If you check the character tags outright, you don’t have to wade through everything else. The Sandman doesn’t just consist of its main tag.

And because it’s actually quite funny, I’ll just let the shipping tags speak for themselves (I just picked a few of the most “popular” ones in their different iterations, because if the stats for more popular ships already look like this, we don’t even need to think about rare pairs):

Corintheus: <1k

Morphienne: <1k

Morphanna/ConstantDream: <1k

Dreamuse: <1k

DreamingStar: <1K

Hellmuse: <1k

Gaultienne: <1k

Dreamling:

Even compared to individual character tags, the only one outshining Dreamling is the good old Dream Lord himself. Plus the main Sandman tag (but only #the sandman, because #sandman comes in at a comparably paltry 9.9k). Any questions left as to why most people are here? 😉But again: There are others. Follow and check the tags.

[annabtg]

You portray Sirius as this stud muffin that everyone was tripping over. It’s kinda vain as a women. Sirius not being able to recognize that his best friend/brother was in love with Lily Evans? Bruh, please. The whole fucken school knew. Sirius doesn’t have tattoos and he’s pretty much asexual in canon from what we know. Not in your fics because he’s fanon and not canon.

I shouldn't even publish this ask, because people will laugh at your lack of reading comprehension, but you started it and I love talking Sirius so here's a breakdown of your seven deadly sins:

1. You completely failed to understand the assignment. Fanon doesn't mean "written by a fan". Fanon means a prevalent version of a character or event which is not supported by canon. Fanon Sirius is a very specific phenomenon, ranted about by @artemisia-black here and summarized by me here. You have failed to provide any examples from my writing that allude to such a portrayal of Sirius.

2. Instead, you complained about my portrayal of Sirius and called it fanon, providing (a pathetic excuse of) examples that aren't anywhere in the fanon version of Sirius and are in fact much closer to canon Sirius. You might have been trying to call my Sirius OOC, but you're probably like twelve and have yet to learn your fandom terminology.

3. "You portray Sirius as this stud muffin that everyone was tripping over" that's canon actually. JKR goes out of her way to tell us how handsome and attractive he was pre-Azkaban every time it comes up:

His face wasn't sunken and waxy, but handsome, full of laughter. (Prisoner of Azkaban)

Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking, his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James's nor Harry's could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn't seem to have noticed. (Order of the Phoenix)

Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. (Order of the Phoenix)

(I'll stop here because I don't have my books with me and digging up the quotes is proving difficult.)

4. "It's kinda vain as a women" Can You Even English, Bro. Are you saying that I describe Sirius as a person who is as vain as a woman? If so you're not only incorrect, but also sexist.

5. "Sirius not being able to recognize that his best friend/brother was in love with Lily Evans?"

We're talking about My Best Friend's Girl, right? Here's the quote you've been searching for:

Sirius had sometimes thought that James might fancy Lily. He had caught him staring at her, he had noticed something particular in his tone of voice when he spoke to her; and yet, every time he had asked him, James had vehemently denied it.

And because I can't shut up about this story, here's another quote from that same scene:

“D’you think she likes you?”

“We’ll find out.” He grabbed another handful of beans out of the packet in his backpack and stuffed them in his mouth, watching James intently. He had returned to his studying, but he looked vexed. “D’you think I shouldn’t?” he asked.

“Who am I to stop you?” James muttered, his eyes still on his book.

Sirius shrugged to himself. If James insisted on taking it all in stride, he wasn’t going to miss his chance with a beautiful girl on a hunch.

Sirius is not stupid. He knows James has a thing for Lily. But it's not his place or his responsibility to do anything about that for a James that won't so much as acknowledge it to his best friend. And he definitely doesn't think that, just because James likes Lily, Lily shouldn't go out with anyone. She's a free girl and she can like a boy if she wants to, including one whose best friend has a crush on her. Bad luck, Prongs.

(I could talk at length about everyone's behaviour in this fic but I'd rather do that in a separate post and not in one addressing a rude anon.)

6. "Sirius doesn't have tattoos" Still waiting for any quote from any of my stories where he has a tattoo.

7. "he's pretty much asexual in canon from what we know" lack of a sexual relationship ≠ asexual. Your interpretation is not the only valid one.

Final grade: L for LURK MOAR.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer's spotlight feature is: @rindecision! With forty-two works on Ao3 in the Stranger Things fandom, they've written thirty-one (!) works with the Steddie ship tag!

Nominated by @skjachukson, they recommend the following works by rindecision:

You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid

Nectar

Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire

From Hell and Back

Rindecision has been a great friend throughout the Steddie holiday exchange, and their writing is just so fantastic. - @skjachukson

Below the cut, @rindecision answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

It started when my partner asked me to. I’ve always loved writing, but I never got into fanfics until they asked me to write a specific type of story that led to the creation of The Devil of Hawkins. From there it was a slippery slope!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Due to ADHD and the corresponding comprehension issues, I rarely read. Not just fics, but anything really. Although, I do personally enjoy whatever the sneaking around trope is. The characters being intimate in places or situations where they shouldn’t be.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

So far I’ve found that I enjoy FWB to Lovers with Steddie. Most of my fics tend to revolve around that.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m currently enjoying ‘I Think I Could Have Been Someone’ by @madaboutmunson

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’m new to fandoms so honestly I don’t really know a lot of tropes by name, but I have a long list of fics I want to write at some point. I have a ‘Through The Ages’ Steddie series in mind that I hope to do at some point. 

What is your writing process like?

Harrowing. It’s honestly pretty complex as I’m using writing fanfics as a means to improve as a writer in general so I can be more confident when I get around to my originals. But the short version is: Rough Draft -> Proof Read 1 -> Beta Proof -> Proof Read 2 -> Grammar Edit -> Text-To-Speech Edit -> Final Beta Proof.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Probably, lol. I try to keep my writing concise and leave little up to the imagination. The partner that requested I write fanfics has aphantasia (lack of imagination) and they read everything I write, so I want them to be able to enjoy it just as much as anyone else. 

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’m kind of chaotic on this one. It depends on the fic to be honest. So far, I’ve found I prefer posting ongoing fics without a schedule that I just post a chapter on as soon as I’m done editing it, whenever that happens to be. Other than the ‘You Know Where to Find Me’ series, the only fics I’ve posted on a schedule have been event fics and it’s been a bit more stressful than I expected it to be.

Which fic are you most proud of?

That would have to be my ‘You Know Where to Find Me’ series. Particularly the first one: ‘Valentines ‘85’ 

How did you get the idea for You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid?

I needed something powerful between ‘Independence Day’ and ‘First Day of School’ but couldn’t think of anything that would work. @stardust-walker helped me work out the details. That entry genuinely wouldn’t exist without their help. 

When writing Nectar, what was something you didn’t expect?

Managing to stay under the 20k word limit. 😅 

What inspired Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire?

A Twitter post about mechanic Steve in cut-off shorts.

What was your favorite part to write from From Hell and Back?

That’s a hard one. I don’t think I have a singular part that I liked the most, but I really enjoyed being able to explore the logistics and lore around Eddie being a shapeshifting demon. In and out of Steve’s bedroom.

How do/did you feel writing Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire?

I was surprised by the reception it got, and I can’t wait to get back to writing it as soon as I’m done with the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang

What was the most difficult part of writing You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid?

The time limit. I had 2 weeks to write and edit nearly 30k words. It made me hit burnout HARD, but I got it back pretty quickly.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I think that would have to be the first kiss in The Devil of Hawkins. It was also the first Steddie kiss I ever wrote. 🤍

“You aren’t stopping me, Harrington.” Eddie’s lips barely grazed over Steve’s as he spoke. “I know,” Steve squeaked. The feeling of Steve’s lips plucking his like a guitar pick was more than he could handle. He leaned forward, finalizing the kiss. They both let out a small groan. Eddie placed his other hand on the back of Steve’s neck, holding his head carefully, yet firmly. Eddie pulled away for a moment and looked at Steve; there was a look of longing on his face. An expression that Eddie was hoping for. He faintly smiled before pushing Steve’s lips to his own, plunging his tongue between them. He could feel Steve tense below him before relaxing into it.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

‘You Know Where to Find Me’ will be coming to a close in March, but there will be at least 5 more entries to it. I will also be posting my entry for the STRBB in March. I hope after those are done I can jump back into my ongoings.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that’s read my work, and a platonic hug and kiss for those who have gone out of their way to leave comments or reblog them. It means the world to me 🤍🖤

Thank you to our author, @rindecision and our nominator, @skjachukson! See more of @rindecision's work featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[tylernation]

My thoughts regarding the Wednesday S2 “leaker”

Many hours ago, a lot of you would have learned about a user (FamiliarViolinist704) on reddit claiming to be part of the production team on Wednesday Season 2. They made a list of claims which have been unverified and uncredited. I’m not going to go into detail about the “leaks” and what they detail, but I will give you a reason why we shouldn’t trust or find this user credible. There have been some inconsistencies this user has made that have caught my attention. In one comment, they state that Enid breaks up with Ajax and he doesn’t take it well. In another comment, they state that Ajax breaks up with Enid. Another comment from the OP states that Tyler’s mother is mentioned a few times and that there’s nothing new about her, while another comment from the OP says that she will appear in flashback scenes. One comment states that the character Karloff will break out of a psychiatric ward whilst Wednesday is visiting Tyler. Another comment states that Karloff breaks out when Donovan visits Tyler. In addition, this person has stated they are doing these “leaks” because Netflix screwed them over, yet they also refused to clarify how they are connected to the Wed S2 production out of fear that they could get fired. So this person still has their job, yet claims Netflix screwed them over, HOW? There’s little chance that a simple production person would have read the scripts and know almost the entire plot, especially when we are only one month in out of a nine month shoot. Plus, leaks like this usually come some weeks or a month BEFORE the series goes to air, and usually they don’t ask users to ask them what’s going to happen, they usually just post the whole plot, but that didn’t happen here.

To me, this person seems like an arrogant troll who is looking to start trouble in the fandom. They offer no proof and no credibility whatsoever. And anyone with a talent for English or Writing have come up with these “specific” details through fan theories that have been going on for the past year. They probably started this plot as soon as the S2 cast was announced a few weeks ago.

[evanpeterswifeyyy]

This is going to be my last post about the stalker situation because some people are (thankfully, and rightfully) deleting their posts about it:

I need you all to understand that the majority of you getting your information was from Twitter and not only Twitter, but Twitter accounts that were NOT Amanda/ Evvieandme.

That was your first mistake.

Can Twitter be a reliable source? Sometimes. But you seriously need to do your own research.

Especially when it comes to serious accusations and topics like this.

Unfortunately we live in a world now where anyone can say and fake whatever they like and post it as truth, and others will spread it and believe it. It’s why it’s so important in situations like this you don’t take things at face value.

I understand wanting justice and to do the right thing, but if you’re worried how you may look posting about something when you can’t prove it’s validity, don’t say anything until further and CLEAR evidence is given.

You are not obligated to make a statement or spread awareness.

Keep that in mind.

If we had used our critical thinking skills here, you would have noticed immediately that nothing she did was out of the norm for a hardcore fan. Are there fans in the EP fandom and any fandom that are crazy and push boundaries they shouldn’t? Absolutely.

But the fact that you were are all so hung up on a woman who was just a superfan, who seems to have only met Evan in the most professional and appropriate of settings except for one time, that you created an entire campaign to run her off the internet in less than 24 hours instead of talking about idk—Rosa or all the people making hate accounts harassing his girlfriend Natalie on multiple platforms? Or the fact there was/ is a Twitter account roleplaying as if they are actually Evan himself? That’s actual insanity.

And I hate the “well what about this?!” when it comes to activism statements, but what Amanda did wasn’t anything wrong. At least, not anything outside of the norm for celebritty culture—especially pertaining to Evan. So it doesn’t fit that.

Should she have taken the photo? Probably not.

Is it weird she sat next to Evan? In a situation where there are more open seats in the terminal, I’d say yeah, a little.

Does it make her a stalker? No.

And for those of you who aren’t aware yet.

No. Going to public sets and meet and greets is not stalking. People do it all the time for many other celebrities and no one is calling them out for it. Just because she takes as many opportunities as she can to meet Evan does not make her a stalker, it makes her a fan. If you’re a fan of Evan and you had the opportunities she did, I can guarantee you would have done the same.

I genuinely don’t care if this makes anyone upset, just like any other of my drama/ discussion and discourse posts. If you’re uspet with me saying this, you are the problem (and probably need to log off for a day or two. Delete a social media app maybe.)

Glad people have finally caught up to the reality of this, and EVERYONE who posted about her being a “stalker” owes Amanda an apology.

[scribblesandsorcery]

So a few weeks ago, I got a certain anon ask that had been going around the fandom. I was fairly amused, since the anon had to have either scrolled back a couple years in the Bedannibal tag or had to have dug through the notes of certain mutuals' posts to have found me.

My policy usually is "don't feed the trolls", but the ask arrived when I had been awake for far too long and I had to stay awake for another six hours for real life reasons, so I took that time to word-vomit a rebuttal into a Google doc. Now that I've caught up on sleep a bit and have had a chance to read it back I decided it was, in fact, worth posting.

Anon: Hello!! Do you think he was ever in love with Bedelia like he was in love with Will? I ask this because Bedelia says they were both the "brides of Hannibal". But Hannibal never courted her like he did with Will in s2b despite knowing her longer, Bedelia came into Hannibal's life much before Will but he never pursued her like he did with Will.  Mads said he wanted a future with Will unlike with other people he hooked up with Alana, Bedelia or Anthony. He took her to Italy as a consolation prize when Will betrayed him. Even in Italy H was pining about Will all the time and telling Bedelia how much he loves Will.  I know he slept with Bedelia but he probably slept with Anthony too and he slept with Alana, Hannibal is a hedonistic guy who sleeps around. For him  sleeping with someone doesn't mean he is in love with them. But when Will confronts Bedelia, she pretends as if Hannibal held them in the same regard which is obviously not true. Hannibal would choose Will over her in a heart beat and even she knows it (she even says my relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours)  but yet she acts as if Hannibal sees them both equally. I don't understand why? 😭 Why do you think?why make herself seem like a competition when she is clearly not? And then get scared shitless when Will actually took her as a competition and released Hannibal which led to the leg eating scene?

You’re asking me to address a billion different things, but the short answer is: yes, I think Hannibal was in love with Bedelia.

For the long answer, I’m going to address your points one by one:

But Hannibal never courted her like he did with Will in s2b despite knowing her longer

Really? I think there’s a pretty strong parallel between Hannibal’s actions towards Bedelia and his actions towards Will.  The initial connection is professional, Hannibal arranges a situation for each of them where they kill someone and continually pushes at their “professional” boundaries.  After Hannibal betrays Margot to Mason leading to her forcible sterilization and the termination of the pregnancy, Will says to Hannibal “You don’t want me to have anything in my life that isn’t you” (Tome-Wan script, page 16). This parallels to Bedelia’s situation with Hannibal: Hannibal’s actions lead to her retirement, but his refusal to accept her retirement leaves him as her sole patient (which has some interesting implications that what Will always wanted was a family and what Bedelia always wanted was her career, but I digress).

He offers them both the same thing: the chance to know him, just in different ways.  Bedelia is much stricter about boundaries and professionalism, and so Hannibal gets close to her through his professional connection to her and offers her glimpses through their therapy sessions.  Will has more issues with maintaining such boundaries (from telling Hannibal that they shouldn’t get too friendly to more or less adopting a child together over the span of a couple episodes), and so Hannibal is able to woo him in what could be regarded as a more ‘traditional’ fashion (their dinners, conversations, professing to care about him, their…ahem…shared hobbies in season 2B).  

Overall, to me that suggests less that he wasn’t trying to court Bedelia in any way and more that he had different approaches because they’re two different people with different relationships to him.  And even though Bedelia is stated to have refused invitations to dine with Hannibal, he still finds a workaround by bringing her dinner in Savoureux.

Mads said he wanted a future with Will unlike with other people he hooked up with

I admit I don’t remember the precise quote from Mads Mikkelsen, but did he say he *wanted* a future with Will unlike the others or that he *saw* a future with Will unlike the others? Because if it’s the second then it’s very possible to interpret it that he wanted a future with any/all of them but that Will is the only one he thought would accept the future he offered them.

Even in Italy H was pining about Will all the time and telling Bedelia how much he loves Will.

I’d say this is not entirely true. Will is not a topic of conversation in all of Antipasto, and in later episodes it’s Bedelia who tends to turn the conversation back to Will. She’s the one who draws the comparison between Hannibal’s feelings for Will and Mischa, and in Contorno Hannibal is talking about snails and fireflies and Bedelia is the one who mentions Will (page 4).

I know he slept with Bedelia but he probably slept with Anthony too and he slept with Alana, Hannibal is a hedonistic guy who sleeps around. For him  sleeping with someone doesn't mean he is in love with them.

I’m inclined to agree that Hannibal isn’t necessarily in love with everyone he sleeps with and has probably slept around a reasonable amount. But beyond just hedonism, I don’t think Hannibal regards sex as the ultimate intimacy. The ultimate intimacy, the intimacy that he is continually seeking, is being known and understood completely, and here we get into where his relationships with all these different people diverge.  

Anthony was never particularly meant to understand him. In fact, he could be seen as presumptuous in assuming he understands Hannibal and his situation better than he actually does.

With Alana, it’s stated explicitly in Digestivo (script page 23): “Could I have ever understood you?” “No.” You can quibble over whether Hannibal was being honest, but I think Hannibal overall is actually quite honest unless he has a reason not to be. In that moment, she knew what he was and she also needed him to save Will and help deal with Mason, so I don’t think he had a reason to lie in that situation. If anything, it could be read as him being kind and giving her closure by telling her she never stood a chance. There’s a sense of finality to it.

With Bedelia, I think it’s important to go back to their very first scene together in Sorbet (page 18).  By the time the show starts, she has an awareness that he is not entirely as he presents himself, that he wears a human veil.  Even though she says that they are not friends, she also says “I see enough of you to see the truth of you. And I like you.” And, most significantly, in the script it is followed by the direction “Hannibal smiles, liking her, too.” That is, in fact, the only direction given in the script in that entire exchange. It was important enough to note in both the dialogue and the direction that these two people like each other.

When she tells him she is no longer his therapist in Sakizuke, he is hurt by this (the exact directions in the script read “Hannibal pauses, an imperceptible wound”, page 6). He is hurt by her rejection, just as he is hurt by Will’s rejection later in the season. When they reunite post-Mizumono bloodbath, he is still clearly hurt (“You’re not in a position to ask, Dr. Du Maurier. You ended our patient-psychiatrist relationship.” It’s downright petulant). But he does say something else very significant: “I never found you to be lacking” (Antipasto script, page 17). He fully believes that she has the ability to understand him and engage with him in the way he wants her to.  

she pretends as if Hannibal held them in the same regard which is obviously not true

Will is the one who dubs her “Bride of Frankenstein”, and she replies “we’ve both been his bride”.  This isn’t her elevating herself, she’s calling Will out on his hypocrisy.  I’d also like to point out that “not the same” does not inherently mean “less than”.  

she even says my relationship with Hannibal is not as passionate as yours

That is in response to Will asking her if she ever considered killing Hannibal. She’s pointing out to him that the way he and Hannibal express their passion for each other is attempted murder and is telling him that is not how her relationship with Hannibal works.  

why make herself seem like a competition when she is clearly not?

Again, I don’t think she does? She repeatedly turns their conversations back to Will’s relationship with Hannibal and how he feels about him and whether his experiences with Hannibal and his feelings for him are informing his current actions.  Directly from their conversation in “And the Woman Clothed in Sun” (page 23):

WILL GRAHAM How is one patient worthy of compassion and not another? BEDELIA DU MAURIER I'm under no illusions how morally consistent my compassion has been. (then) How is one murderer worthy of compassion and not another?

And then get scared shitless when Will actually took her as a competition and released Hannibal

Once again, I’d like to refer to the directions in the script (The Wrath of the Lamb, page 14-15).  “She sits motionless, staring into the middle distance, absorbing what she’s just been told.” After he tells her he doesn’t intend Hannibal to be caught a second time, it describes “a flicker of alarm”.  And finally after he outright threatens her, “Bedelia is enraged in a way we’ve never seen.” Shock, a flicker of alarm, and then rage. “Scared shitless” is your interpretation, there are other interpretations of what is actually shown and written.  

which led to the leg eating scene?

Even though Bryan Fuller stated that his intention with the stinger was that Hannibal and Will had gone after Bedelia, he also mentioned a couple other interpretations of that scene (that Bedelia did it to herself, or that it was someone else, potentially Hannibal’s uncle Robert). When commenting on scenarios he’d imagined for a season 4 he also mentioned a scene of Bedelia walking down the street and then arriving home and removing her prosthetic leg, indicating that he intended for her to not only survive but remain at large, which has some interesting implications. But aside from that, I don’t think loving someone and eating them are mutually exclusive actions to Hannibal. After all, he did take a bone saw to Will’s head with the intention of eating his brain. 

So to get back to your first question: Do you think he was ever in love with Bedelia like he was in love with Will?

I realize that this is a slightly unpopular opinion, but yes. Furthermore I believe that Hannibal was capable of loving Alana.  The sticking point with all of these relationships is whether they were capable of loving him for what he is.  

I believe Mads Mikkelsen made a comment that when Hannibal seems to like people - Jack Crawford, Alana Bloom, Bella Crawford, etc. - he is not simply pretending to manipulate them, he does genuinely like them. To me, there is a real simplicity about Hannibal as a character, in that he does what he wants. “I was curious what would happen” is a major motivating factor for him - he wants to see what will happen if he does something, so he does it.  In that way he’s very honest. Furthermore, I’d say that he is, at heart, a romantic. He romanticizes everything, including things that most of us don’t (pain, death, cannibalism). It isn’t a stretch to think that he is romantic enough to love anyone he considers worthy of his time and attention.

Of the three we see involved with him through the show (Alana, Bedelia, and Will), there are a lot of similarities.  All three of them are intelligent, attractive, and all three of them have the potential capacity to seek to understand him in the way he wants most.  

In spite of what I wrote about his relationship with Alana above, I think there was some real potential.  They have a decent amount of history together. Alana is a psychiatrist, and she has a real curiosity, enough that she has to resist the urge to be too near Will Graham because she would not be able to separate professional and personal interest.  That sort of curiosity could potentially lead someone to want to understand Hannibal, but in the end that curiosity doesn’t extend to actually being able to truly understand or (more importantly) accept him (see above).  

Will’s empathy means that understanding isn’t the issue, which is what first appeals to Hannibal and what he talks about with Bedelia in Fromage (page 33):

HANNIBAL He’s nothing like me. We see the world in different ways, yet he can assume my point of view. BEDELIA How has he demonstrated that? HANNIBAL He’s demonstrated the capacity. BEDELIA By profiling the criminally insane? HANNIBAL As good a demonstration as any. I find it reassuring. BEDELIA It’s nice to have someone see us, Hannibal. Or have the ability to see us. It requires trust. Trust isn’t easy for you.

He sees the understanding that Will is capable of and it’s something he’s always wanted, but even though Will comes to see Hannibal by the end of the first season, he does not accept Hannibal or his own ability to be like Hannibal. That’s the central conflict for Will for the remainder of the series.  Even though he admits that them killing Dolarhyde together is “beautiful”, he still pulls both of them off the cliff, and the intention behind that is debatable.  Is he rejecting his Becoming by trying to destroy himself and Hannibal? Is he trying to fake their deaths so they can escape together? Was it something he planned all along? Was it impulsive when he realized how far gone he was?  Since the show doesn’t continue there are multiple ways to read it.  That’s where fanfictions and headcanons come in.  I’m not dealing with that scene in my fics so I’m not required to have strong feelings in any particular direction at this time. 

When it comes to Bedelia, it’s obvious from the first scene that she and Hannibal have known each other for a long time.  As pointed out above, their first scene is very clear about the relationship they have: Bedelia may hold to certain professional boundaries (and those are a little fuzzy what with the after session glass of wine and all) but ultimately they are two people who like each other. 

Her first scene also establishes that she is, at that point, far more aware of Hannibal than anyone else is (her comments about a “human veil”). She knows enough to know he is not being honest, and yet she still continues to be his psychiatrist. 

There’s also a significant scene in Fromage (page 32). Most of the scene remained in the finished episode, but some lines that are in the script didn’t make the cut: 

HANNIBAL For the first time in a long while I see a possibility of friendship. We are -- 25 INT. BEDELIA’S HOME OFFICE - DAY 4 25 Hannibal sits opposite Bedelia. BEDELIA Is there someone new in your life? HANNIBAL I met a man much like myself, same hobbies, same world views. But I’m not interested in being his friend. I’m curious about him and that got me curious about friendship. BEDELIA That’s progress. I always considered you an individualist. The social anti-social. HANNIBAL A polite way of saying sociopath? BEDELIA I’m not sure how to categorize you in those terms. And I think you prefer it that way. HANNIBAL I’m afraid once you figure me out, you’ll lose interest. BEDELIA Whose friendship are you considering? HANNIBAL Oddly enough, a colleague and a patient. Not unlike how I am a colleague and patient of yours. We’ve discussed him before. BEDELIA Will Graham.

Now, the cut lines are extremely interesting (“I’m afraid once you figure me out, you’ll lose interest” pretty clearly indicates that he wants Bedelia’s attention and interest), but even with those lines cut, it’s an interesting scene. Hannibal draws a comparison between his relationship with Will and his relationship with Bedelia. That could be interpreted as pushing at her previously stated boundary of “you are my patient and my colleague, not my friend”, maybe saying “see it’s totally possible to be friends as well as having a therapist/patient relationship. Or it could be interpreted as him taunting her slightly (“since you insist that you aren’t my friend I’m looking elsewhere”). 

A little later in the conversation, this exchange is in the script (page 33):

HANNIBAL (CONT’D) You’ve helped me to better understand what I want in a friendship. And what I don’t. BEDELIA Someone worthy of your friendship. The word “worthy” rings true for Hannibal. She can see it.

Hannibal is seeking someone worthy of his friendship, and since he has extended overtures to Bedelia and continues to extend them (the dinner in Savoureux) we can extrapolate that he has deemed her worthy and continues to consider her worthy (“I never found you to be lacking”). 

Furthermore, there are a few choice quotes on love from Hannibal in season 2. First is from Naka-choko (page 13): “You failed to murder your brother because you still love him.” There are a select number of people that Hannibal fails to murder throughout the series: Will, Jack, Alana (although that can be put down equally to Abigail) and Bedelia.  What’s more, he could be considered to have failed to kill Bedelia twice: in Sakizuke when he shows up at her house in his murder suit and again in Dolce when she says goodbye to him in a way he hadn’t planned.  

This second quote is technically less firm since it occurs during a dream/vision sort of sequence, but the writers still saw fit to put it in Hannibal’s mouth, so I think it counts: In the opening of Shiizakana (page 2), he says: “No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love we see potential in our beloved. Through that love we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloved's potential comes true.”

Everything that is said there applies to Bedelia as much as to Will.  Hannibal saw her potential for violence and placed Neal Frank in her path as a conduit to realizing that potential. He continues to push at her in that regard in Italy (“technically, you killed him”). 

Furthermore, in Mizumono, during his “breakup” with Will (page 33), this is what he has to say: “I let you in. I let you know me. I let you see me.” Who else does he let in? Who else does he let know him and see him? Bedelia.

So yeah, I think it’s totally reasonable to assume that Hannibal loved Bedelia.  

[onwhatcaptain]

It's been ages since I posted a snippet from my K/S novel, so I'm back with one from Chapter 15!

“Well, I haven’t even asked you anything yet, Doctor.” He snorts. “And for your sake, you probably shouldn’t.” They make a small expression of sympathy that he’s getting far too used to seeing and they walk in silence for a few moments. “I understand you’re going through a lot right now, but I have a responsibility to at least try and ask you questions, Doctor.” “And why’s that?” “Because this story deserves to be reported fairly and accurately, and your perspective on the matter is missing. I think you might have some valuable insight and I just want to understand. To shed light on the matter.” “And what exactly needs my input?” “Doctor McCoy,” they ask, “were Commander Spock and Captain Kirk merely colleagues and friends? Or was there something more?” McCoy stops in his tracks without turning to face them, nearly tripping on the gravel lining the path. “What?”

If you are curious, my fic "I Shall Do Neither" is here at AO3.

I Shall Do Neither (87406 words) by onwhatcaptain Chapters: 16/26 Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy Additional Tags: Romance, Angst, Heavy Angst, Loss of Control, Psychological Trauma, Mutual Pining, Five Year Mission (Star Trek), Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Post-Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Pon Farr, Pon Farr Aftermath (Star Trek), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Friendship, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Unreliable Narrator, Vulcan Biology, Tarsus IV (Star Trek), Vulcan Mind Melds, Non-Linear Narrative, Storytelling Through Vignettes, Missing Scenes Between Episodes, Plot, Cover Art, Canon Divergence, Digital Art, Illustrations, In spite of the description Kirk features heavily in this novel Summary: In the wake of the kal-if-fee on Vulcan, Kirk is dead. When T’Pau tells Spock to live long and prosper, he knows he shall do neither. This is a story about men who love each other, and the lengths they will go to for one another. - Foolish, he thinks. I have been a fool. How he had wanted so desperately to prove his Vulcan side. How all his life it had felt like a performance, and yet, to be finally subject to the most Vulcan thing of all destroyed him. The stripping of logic. All sense torn from him. His carefully constructed barriers had collapsed like a flimsy house of cards. To be granted his wish this way was a type of mockery. How he had wanted to be fully Vulcan. To prove that the blood which runs through his veins was not so human. How wanting had been better than having. - This story is told in two parts across 25 chapters, and will be updated on Sundays.

[ausssbutlershortstories]

Hello, I'm glad I found your blog, it has been hell trying to navigate the fandom with all the shippers. I never understood their affection to Kaia, it seems like they like her a lot more than Austin does. I just wanted to say, that if she didn't look conventionally attractive and skinny, probably 90% of them would not like her. She has done a lot of shady things, which they just gloss over. She is also fake af, I don't know how they don't see her fabricated persona, tailored just for her non-existent career. I personally want someone better for Austin, who shares his work ethic and doesn't embarrass him left and right with her constant insecure posting on sm. I knew she was full of it when she said she doesn't have ig on her phone...girl, please. Sorry for my mini rant, but that girl is just not it. And yet another birthday of hers where Austin doesn't even try to be there for her, 3rd year in a row. Is this the "love" people are gushing over, seriously??

I want someone better for him too. Something refreshing. I agree with the attractive thing. I even said so myself a few post ago that is she wasn’t pretty they wouldn’t like her. They would more and likely view this relationship the same way we do. I am sorry but no woman in a secure , and loving relationship does the things Kaia does. Kissing all up on your chick friends and saying things like “best kisser ever” or having them touch up and feel all up on you. The shippers think we are delusional for finding things weird in that relationship that would that would be just as off putting if it was any other one.As much as they seem to project themselves onto Kaia…I highly doubt any of them would want a weird ass relationship like that. To have a bf who barely acknowledges you, not spending your bday with you really…they would not like that.

One thing I would never forget is an IG post of Kaia. I forget what profile it was rather it was a fan account or Presley’s but someone commented something along the lines of how she uses Austin to level up and Presley replied back saying “and what have you done with your life”? He didn’t even defend that. He on top of that deleted that reply..which to me says a lot lol.

I am glad you found my blog ! Welcome in!I wanted to create a safe place like this because we have a right to our opinions. We shouldn’t feel obligated to support a relationship that the people in it don’t like to began with. We are fans of Austin not Kaia.

Last thing I wanna say is watch when they break up. That affection and ass kissing energy they have with her will more and likely die out. They will backtrack the things they said and act like they were against it the entire time. Either that or they will drop Austin completely and be a full on fan of Kaia’s.

[jjtheresidentbaby]

idk if u still do supernatural but r u open to a fic of little sam and cg dean? (i dont ship them i just love the brother dynamic they got)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ not true ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| dean winchester & sam winchester

a/n: ofc I still do spn!! I still write for all the fandoms listed on my navigation post unless they’re crossed out

warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, set in season 1, rude people, protective dean, pet names talk of jess’ death/cg!jess

-

Dean feels Sam's face tuck into his neck before he sees his brother walk over, Sam presses himself into Deans side so something is obviously wrong.

"Sammy?" He asks, turning on his feet to look at Sam's face, his eyes glisten with un-shed tears, nose sniffling after a second. Dean feels dread twist up in his gut, this hunt should be an easy salt and burn, they had come to this shop to ask a few routine questions about the owner who had died and since come back to haunt the place that his daughter now owns. Sam shouldn’t be upset or hurt at all.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart what’s wrong?” Deans hand comes to cradle Sam’s cheek before he can stop himself, he knows that Sam has slipped into his headspace, it’s written all over his face.

“Nothin’ just some guy.” He mumbles and a spike of anger flares in Deans chest. This is the fourth hunt in that past however many months that someone’s said something about Sam, whether it be about his “childish” behavior or the rambles he gives on cases that are too intricate for the local pd to understand. Both make Dean angry, protective, but the comments about how “clingy” or “young” Sam is really get to him.

His brother has been through a lot throughout his life, something that Dean is keenly aware of. The latest trauma is Jess dying, it had shook Sam to his core, just like when Mary died and John became a mess. But they’re working through it and Sam regressing has been helpful, it’s only four months into Dean finding out about the coping mechanism and yet he’s fallen comfortably into the role of a caregiver for Sam. A role that Jess used to fill, Dean is always sure to be sensitive when that comes up.

The last thing Sam should have to deal with is a bunch of assholes who have nothing better to do than poke fun at someone they don’t know. It gets to Dean in different ways than it does Sam, the older Winchester wants to hunt the people down and give them a piece of his mind, while Sam would rather Dean leave it and let Sam latch around him a little more than normal.

It’s how Dean finds his hand gripped tightly in Sam’s as they walk down the crooked sidewalk back to the Impala, thankfully not wearing suits as he’s sure it’d be an odd sight for anyone passing by. It’s not a long walk by any means but Dean can feel his mind spiraling the more Sam squishes against his side, whatever was said must’ve been bad, really bad.

“Hey it’s okay Sammy, it’s just us now.” Dean assures as soft as he can. Sam’s staring up at him from where his head is rested on Deans side, his body halfway slid down the bench of the impala so he can be smaller than Dean. It’s something Dean noticed almost immediately, Sam always slumps himself down or curls his shoulders in when he’s regressed, just trying to shrink himself to be physically tinier.

“Can you tell me what they said? You don’t have to but if I know I might be able to help more.” There’s a low rumble as Dean drives down the road, now thankful that their motel is just outside of town and not in the middle where they could run into more rude people.

“I- I was just asking questions about the girl we’re trying to help but this- this guy came in and started to say stuff about how nobody like me could really help her.” He sniffles through the explanation and Dean has to focus half his energy on not turning around to go tear that guy a new one. It’d do no good, sure it’d satisfy him, but Sam would still be upset and probably even more so knowing Dean got into a fight because of him, despite none of it ever being Sam’s fault. The kids got a heart of gold that people love to prey on.

“That’s not true, it will never be true Sammy. You are an amazing hunter and anyone would be lucky to have your help.” The compliments fire off in instinct, of course Sam’s a good hunter, of course he’d be the person you’d want to get help from, Deans never thought anything different.

“But—.” Dean shakes his head firmly, glancing down at Sam’s soft face and hand gripping at the t-shirt Dean has on, Dean wishes he could stay like this forever. Just them, safe, in Baby, only worrying about each other.

“But that guy was a jerk and you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Now c’mon we’ll order something and watch cartoons.” A tired but full smile spreads on Sam’s face as they both tumble out of the car, Dean already holding his hand out for his brother and a plan forming in his head for what they can do once this hunt wraps up, they could both use a little tlc in Deans opinion.

[lemotmo]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemotmo/758003132325363712/yeah-theyre-just-unlike-anything-i-have-ever

I think the thing that baffles me the most, and honestly it probably shouldn’t baffle me at all since the BT fandom is absolutely filled with hypocrites, but they sit here and say Ryan and Oliver posting each other, or the core 4 posting each other is immature and bullying and unprofessional.

And yet

It all stems from Lou not being there and if he was then it magically wouldn’t be immature and unprofessional?

Like Ryan and Oliver posting together? Rude, childish, unprofessional and Tim should have words with them.

But Oliver and Lou posting together? It would be amazing and a sign of true love and buck Tommy end game confirmation.

Like the math ain’t mathing on their conclusions here 💀💀

But that’s where my bafflement comes from because why is one considering unprofessional and the other not.

(We know why because it would involve Lou and that’s all they really care about and wanna see but still)

Once again...

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Truly baffling indeed. None of it makes sense. It lacks logic.