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endthedream · 1 year ago

Text

a sweet melody

pairing: siren!haechan x human!reader (she/her)

summary: Insanity isn’t what she expected to receive when she joined her father and his crew on an expedition, full of men who think she isn’t capable of anything. But it’s all that she got after seeing nothing but endless water every single day. Maybe that’s why her mind started imagining a strange boy who finally shows her the appreciation she deserves. Maybe that’s why she ignores the way she can’t escape the trance he puts her in whenever he sings a melody for her. Or maybe everything is real, and the boy isn’t who he pretending to be.

words: 12.5k

story colour: green

some warnings:

it’s angst, the word “killing” gets mentioned a few times but nothing happens, heavy manipulation

masterlist of ‘nct dream as super natural creatures’

August 2nd, 1878

Day 25 on sea

I don’t remember the feeling of solid ground under my feet. Grass under my toes, touching stone walls or sleeping in a soft bed that isn’t rocking from the waves crashing against the ship.

I don’t remember the taste of air that isn’t filled with salt. The taste of anything other than fish.

I don’t remember not being nauseous every day, not fighting against boredom, not having to talk to myself in order to stay sane. Having to remind myself that I am me and this expedition isn’t pointless and could possibly make us rich until the day we die.

Father told me to write down my thoughts, he senses that I’m slowly losing my mind. But how can’t I? All I see, day and night, are endless expanses of water. No land in sight. We are miles and miles away from civilization. Alone with the sea and what lays beneath it. That thought can be frightening sometimes.

My brother called me a wimp, told me I should have just stayed at home and let the men handle it. I think he is the one who is a wimp. He’s scared of the power women can hold in a world that is overpowered by men. He doesn’t want me here, thinks I belong only at home like the other women in our city. But I don’t believe that even for one second. I have so much more potential than cooking and taking care of children. I’m an explorer, an adventurer, a researcher. I belong exactly here with my brother, my father and his crew.

I am so much more than all of them point me out to be and I know I can prove exactly that to them. I can prove that women can do all things men have been doing for years, maybe even better. I will prove it, even if it makes me go insane.

August 7th, 1878

Day 30 on sea

I miss my mother. I miss her comforting words, her warm arms and the smell of her perfume. Father misses her too. We talked last night while watching the waves under the moonlit sky. He told me he thinks she is watching over us, protecting us from unknown dangers. He told me that he thinks she is proud of us, especially me, for having the courage to explore the sea. I think he is right. Mother would have loved for us to do the things she always dreamt of doing. Exploring. She always wanted to know what lays beyond the sea, know the secrets behind it and write it all down.

Mother was the creative one in our family. She wrote poems, drew beautiful paintings and crafted useful things out of our waste. There was nothing she couldn’t do, no challenge she couldn’t face. I admired her for that, looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Father says that sometimes he sees a bit of her in me, a bit of her creativity leaking out of my aura, but most of the time I am like him. A big pighead who is way too nosy for their own good. But he also said that this trait will help me on our journey.

“We need people like you.”, he spoke as he looked into the sparkling reflection of the stars on the water. “People who are brave and people who are inquisitive. People who don’t stop when it gets too much and get driven by the passion of wanting to know what lays beneath the unknown. That’s why I want you here.”

“But why did you bring my brother as well? He is nothing like that.” My comment made him let out a quiet laugh, a sound I haven’t heard from him in a while.

“Because he can fight. We need people like that as well.”

Our talk was over after that. He went to sleep, and I stayed up, watching the stars in the dark night sky and thinking about his words. Does he really want me here or is he just being nice to me because I’m his daughter? The others on the ship are not shy to express their dislike for me. I’m not taking it to heart since they care more about my gender than my capabilities. But I care about my father’s opinion. I care what he thinks about me being on this ship with him and if he thinks that I should have stayed at home like everyone else is telling me.

I hope he didn’t lie to me. I hope that his words were sincere, and he actually wants me to be here. Because I think it would shatter me if he didn’t.

I figured I should talk more about my current mental state. Every day I try not to show how much it affects me that even though there are so many people on this ship, I’m still alone. No one wants to talk to me, no one cares about my opinion, and no one wants me here. I spend most of the day watching the ocean, listening to the waves and the birds stopping by. When I see something, an animal or even just seaweed, I write it down and draw a picture of it. It helps me a bit, I think, but I’m not quite sure.

Yesterday a boy, his name is Jisung, let me help him prepare a fish. It was the first time someone had spoken to me without throwing an insult at my head. I haven’t seen him much around the ship since he spends most of the time in the kitchen with his father. But he seemed nice enough, even though as soon as another crew member approached us, Jisung ran away from me, not wanting to be seen with the “intruder”. I wasn’t offended by it, at least I got to eat a nice fish for dinner.

But I’m wandering again. My mental state. I do think I’m getting a bit… well, crazy. But who isn’t? Everyone on this ship is going through the withdrawal of feeling solid ground under their toes and seeing anything other than salt water every single day.

I think we all are slowly losing it.

August 15th, 1878

Day 38 on sea

The air was nice today. It smelled fresher than before, kind of like we entered a new world overnight.

It just felt so clean.

Maybe that’s exactly what I needed, some fresh and clear air, something that removed the mess inside of me as well. Father said that fresh air always helps with an occupied mind. I guess his thesis has been proven right.

I should listen to him more.

He is old and keeps to himself most of the time, but when he actually does talk, it has an impact. Just yesterday two of the men on the boat accidently- in a drunken manor- knocked over two wooden boxes full of fish we haunted, leaving us with not much left. Father was furious, I could tell by the look on his face, but he kept his calm image. He went up to the two men and instead of screaming, he just stared at them for a few minutes. I think his eyes were what intimated them the most.

“You realize what you just did?”, he asked them, and I never heard his voice being so cold. They just nodded their heads, eyes widened like they were deer’s getting hunted by a wolf. “You realize what that means for the two of you?” Hesitation lingered in their demeanor. Clearly, they didn’t know what consequences followed their stupid mistake.

“Since you prevented us from having a week stock of fish, I’m going to do the same to you. That means limited access to food, no alcohol anymore and you are going to clean the boat from front to back. I want to see it spotless. Are we clear?” Again, their heads nodded faster than the wind blowing my hair away. They hurried off after being dismissed, leaving me standing there as father let out a long sigh.

It must be hard, having to be in charge of a bunch of grown men who act like children. And it must be hard seeing your own children having to face some of their own hardships as well. I’m not saying my brother is having a hard time on this ship, I’m saying in general. Someone filled with that much piled up anger, like my brother, must have some troubles they can’t communicate themselves.

It’s not like I have never tried. Talking to him, I mean. I did, plenty of times. But he never listens. And he never talks. I think it is the masculinity they force upon boys these days. It starts in school when they are just little fellows and continues all the way into adult hood. It teaches them not to cry, to hide their emotions and be strong.

I think that is stupid. I think that as human beings we were created to show our emotions. It’s our darn right to let ourselves feel everything freely without having to hide it.

But my brother is taking it seriously, says that the people in school would make fun of him if he’s showing weakness. Weakness. That is stupid. I think that hiding your emotions and building up this wrong image in which you hide behind a made-up strength, is what makes you weak.

I told him that and he just said: “And that’s why you’re a woman. You wouldn’t survive a minute being a man.”

And you wouldn’t survive a minute being a woman either. But I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to make him more upset, and I especially didn’t want to start a discussion about men and women with him. It is pointless, because no matter what I say, he will never see us as equals.

I wish I were closer to my brother. I wish he wouldn’t have to think about all this stupid stuff. And I wish I could live in a world where I could freely express myself without having to justify my every move.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

August 19th, 1878

Day 42 on sea

We saw dolphins today. They were swimming right beside our ship, jumping high up into the air and whistling at us. It was a magical moment, watching them happily swim, eager to interact with us. I even got to draw a picture of them. And for a moment I forgot that my mind is constantly spinning in a spiral. I just sat there, enjoying the short moment of peace, before it got destroyed.

Some of the men on the ship, clearly drunk, threw bottles at the dolphins, slurring insulting words at them. The dolphins swam away shortly after, but the bottles stayed where they threw them, in the ocean. I was so mad that I went up to one of the men, yelling some pretty mean words as well.

“Are you out of your mind, you drunk filthy piece of shit? Not only did you hurt poor helpless animals that were clearly eager to interact with us, but you also polluted the ocean with your stupid bottles of alcohol. Are you really that messed up in your head to think this was a good idea? I don’t even get why you are on this god forsaken ship. You are clearly not good for anything other than drinking your days away and only caring about yourselves. And you call yourself a man. You are nothing but a pathetic little boy, wanting everyone’s attention. You disgust me, you pig.”

I can’t remember much afterwards, only the stinging feeling against my cheek, a foot against my rip cage and someone yelling to stop. I woke up not long ago. The ship is quiet, so I assume it’s already in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping, but I’m too scared to look. My body hurts, every time I move only a slight bit, a crushing pain curses through my bones.

When I close my eyes, everything is spinning, so I don’t close my eyes anymore.

I don’t regret what I said to that man. I don’t regret standing up to myself. I had to endure a worse treatment for a longer time and could handle it. It is not my fault that he couldn’t handle a bit of critique. All I hope is that this pain will go away soon. The pain inside and outside.

I’ve been thinking, maybe a bit too much. What if I change my way of thinking? What if instead of letting the ocean hurt me, I will let it heal me? What if instead of letting the loneliness consume me, I will let it lead me? Maybe all I have to do to get better is to change the way I approach this expedition.

And now that I have written it down, I will have to do it. My mother always said words only count when you write them on a piece of paper. In that way it is like a contract, unbreakable. It is like an oath you swear only to yourself, and those should be the most precious ones. She said you should always keep the promises you give to yourself, because after all, at the very end you will always have yourself to count on. Mother was a wise lady. A wise and confident woman, that I always looked up to. She was never afraid to speak her mind and stand up for her beliefs, I admired that side of her so much. And I know my dad also admired that.

Sometimes I forget that he lost his wife, I forget that he is still grieving. Because it looks so easy for him. It doesn’t look like he is compulsively taken of on a ship to “explore the unknown” just to get away from home and the recuring memories of the woman he loved so dearly. It looks like he created a team of the best- that’s arguable- men out there and took of to explore. He looks like a hero, not a broken man.

He hides everything so well. I wish he would have taught me how to do that.

August 20th, 1878

Day 43 on sea

Dad told me not to move too much. He thinks my rips are badly bruised and I need a few days, maybe even a few weeks to heal. We don’t have a qualified doctor on this ship, so I am just putting ice on my ribs and hope they will magically heal.

My brother even came to my room to ask me about my well-being. That was the last thing I expected to be quite honest with you. My brother and I have never had the best relationship. He was never a reliable soul, always easily influenced by others. He is a follower not a leader and that shows in the way he behaves towards others, especially towards me.

“Are you fine?”, he asked me, voice unusually soft. I could see it in his eyes, the pity that lies in them. It looked like he actually cares.

“Forgetting the circumstances, yes, I am fine.” He let out a long and deep breath, a hand stroking back a piece of hair that fell into his eyes. I should have asked him if I should cut his hair for him.

“Okay.”, he just answered, nodding his head before standing up again. “If you need anything, just call for me.” Without looking at me again, he left the room. All I could do after that was smile. It was the first encounter since we were kids that didn’t end up with me wishing I would never have to talk to him again. He may not know how to express what he is really feeling and is scared of voicing his own thoughts, but this small conversation showed me that he may not be all too bad.

August 25th, 1878

Day 48 on sea

I am going crazy. I sit on my bed every single day. I draw, I write, and I stare at the wall.

I can feel my thoughts circle around my brain, nothing makes sense. No one visited me in the past two days, and it makes the urge to get up even worse. I didn’t really have someone to talk to from the beginning, but at least I got to be around some living beings. I didn’t have to bear my own thoughts for such a long time. Now I’m not only alone, but I’m also lonely as well.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt about the ship sinking. It was absurd because the men drunk too much and their bellies got so bloated, it made the ship sink. But that wasn’t the frightening part. As I tried to swim for safety, my arms already hurting, I started hearing voices. Not just two, must have been a hundred of them. All of them whispering to me, but I couldn’t understand what they were trying to tell me. I kept swimming and swimming, far behind I saw hills. The voices didn’t stop. It felt like they were entering me, taking over every part of my body. My head felt like it was about to explode into a million pieces. They got louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped swimming, letting myself sink. The water engulfed my whole body, entering my mouth and filling my lungs. The voices got quieter and quieter until there was only one left, loud and clear, telling me to “wake up”.

That’s when I opened my eyes, sweat dripping from my forehead and my breath uncontrollably fast. I never had a dream like that. I never woke up so disorientated. I wanted to tell someone about this dream, have someone explain to me what the meaning behind it is. I wanted to know if I’m really losing my mind.

August 27th, 1878

Day 50 on sea

I am losing my mind.

This can’t be real. I am writing this down to make sure I am wide awake and not dreaming.

I woke up from a noise. At first, I thought I was imagining it, because lately I’ve been imagining a lot of things. I wanted to go back to sleep, being exhausted from, well, doing absolutely nothing all day long, but then I heard it again.

It wasn’t just a noise. It was a melody, a very beautiful one. It sounded like the gateway to heaven, like it was sung by angels. And it made me feel drowsy.

I knew I needed to rest more, but something about this melody pulled me in. It made me forget the throbbing pain in my body and the events that happened days before. All it made me want to do was reach it, engrave it into my skin. It made me want to never hear anything else.

I was in a trance, no thoughts inside my head anymore.

So, I got up, walked out onto the deck of the ship to find out where this melody comes from. But when I reached the deck, I didn’t expect to see a boy sitting on the railing.

But it wasn’t an ordinary boy. Oh, no. Not like the ones I’ve seen in my town growing up. I can’t describe him in any other way than captivating. His jet-black hair softly swayed in the night wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. His cheeks adopted a soft rosy color from the coldness, contrasting the tan of his skin. And his eyes were almost as dark as the night sky.

I don’t know why I stared at him for such a long time, and I don’t know why he let me.

“You’re here.” Those were his first words. The first time I heard his voice. A voice that made time stop for a moment. I couldn’t hear the waves crashing against each other anymore, or the cracking of the old wood the ship was built with. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat pumping against my chest. All I could hear was him. “I was waiting for you.”

“Who are you?” That was not what I wanted to ask him at that moment, but the sane part of my brain must have sensed that something wasn’t right. Something about the way my body reacted to this strange man was dubious.

“Haechan.”, he spoke with a soft voice, turning his body so that he fully faced me. A smirk was placed on his lips, only intensifying his tantalizing physique. “And you are?”

“Y/n.” My name came out in a mere whisper, fearing that my voice might have broken if I spoke any louder. I couldn’t stop staring at him, still having been sure that my mind was playing a trick on me or, well, still is.

For days no one has checked in on me, no one has talked to me more than five words. I’ve been on this ship for way too long seeing nothing but the endless nothingness of the sea. My mind has been plagued with recuring thoughts, never once having a quiet moment. Maybe this is the final sign. Maybe this is it. I am insane. So insane that I’m imagining a boy sitting on the rail of the ship just so that I have someone to talk to.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Reaching one hand out, the boy signaled me to come closer to him. Every part of my body longed to take his hand and sit on the rail with him, but doubts started floating my brain.

“What are you doing here? How did you get on this ship?” Haechan, as I learned his name, just chuckled, a low sound that was so different from his honey voice. He looked amused at my asking, almost like he was making fun of me.

“Why did you come out here, Y/n?” I remember frowning at him, clearly feeling upset that he chose to ignore my question and ask one of his own. I felt upset that this boy, which I probably made up in my mind, didn’t show any respect for me at all. He, just like the others, ignores what I have to say, and I didn’t want to get treated that way, not after what happened last time.

So, instead of answering him, I turned around, heading back to my bed. But before I could even take a step, the melody I heard earlier started again. All the thoughts that I had in my mind at that moment flew away and I was, yet again, caught in a trance. It was like I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to.

“It’s you.”, I whispered, but he still heard me. I knew that because the melody got louder, clearer. I closed my eyes, letting his voice enter every part of my body. I let it fill me up and shut me down at the same time. I let it rearrange my mind and mend my wounds, but I also let it cut me open and bleed me dry. I gave myself into the sweet penetration of his honey laced voice and wanted nothing more than to make all his wishes and desires come true. I would have given him the world if it was possible. My whole body felt like it was floating on top of a cloud, high up in the sky and there was no way of ever coming down again. I was trapped.

“Come closer.”, he murmured, voice deeper and almost impending.

“No.”, I quivered, suddenly scared of ever opening my eyes again.

“Please, Y/n.”, he pleaded, and I could nearly hear the desperation in his voice. “Just please look at me.” And so, I did. He was not sitting on the rail anymore, he was standing right in front of me. A small smile on his lips and one hand stretched out to me. “Come closer please. I don’t want anything else from you.”

And as I was about to take the step towards him, give in to his demand and the growing need inside of me to grant all his wishes, I heard a voice behind me, calling out my name and breaking the trance I was in.

“Y/n?”

Turning around, I saw my brother standing further away from me, dressed in his nightly gown. “What are you doing out of your bed? You should rest, your body isn’t fully healed yet.”

“I was just talking to…” But when I looked for Haechan again, no one was standing there anymore. It was like I was alone all along. “I don’t know what I was doing.”

Suddenly I felt all the pain rush back into my body, my bones burning with fire, and I let out a loud groan as I fell to my knees.

“Y/n.” My brother rushed towards me, helping me up with his arms around me. “For someone who always seems so smart, you really aren’t the brightest.” I couldn’t even laugh at his words, my mind was too focused on the pain all over my body.

“You must have been sleep walking if you can’t remember what you were doing up there.” My brother said as he laid me back down into my bed and reached into a bucket of water to put a wet rag on my forehead. “Sleep now, okay? I will stop by in the morning again and check on you.” All I could do was nod my head at him, exhaustion consuming my body. He looked at me one last time before he left my room again.

And now I’m sitting here, writing in my foolish dairy and reminiscing about the strange boy I met. I must have imagined him. How could anyone come up onto the ship? I didn’t see another boat, nor did any other member of the crew. And the possibility of someone appearing out of the blue is also not likely.

The only possibility that is left is that I am losing my mind. That I imagined all of it out of pure loneliness and frustration. This expedition should have been educational for me. It should have proven to all the men that I, as a woman, can do what they can do. That I can be an explorer, a brave one even, and that I have the ability to find something new. That is why we started this journey, because we wanted to discover unknown things.

But all I am doing now is proving everyone exactly what they think of me, that I am small and weak. That I am not an explorer and that I should have just stayed at home. That I am not brave and definitely not smart. I proved to them that I am fragile and well, mental.

But no one has to know about it. No one has to know what happens in my head or the things I imagine. No one has to know I am practically insane and desperate. I could just simply fake it. Isn’t that what everyone does? Faking confidence.

Maybe if I fake it long enough and convince everyone that what they are saying and thinking about me is wrong, I might convince myself as well. Maybe I can convince my brain I’m fine while pretending to be.

So, from now on, everything’s okay. I am not insane, and I certainly am not imagining weird things.

I am okay.

Everything is okay.

August 29th, 1987

Day 52 on sea

Everything is not okay.

Yesterday the boy didn’t show up again. I wasn’t exactly looking for him, since my father spent most of the night in my room making sure I wouldn’t ‘sleep-walk’ again, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed not to hear his beautiful melody again.

I asked my dad if there is a word for the feeling of craving for someone, for feeling like the person took a part of you with them when they left and you long to be reunited with them. When all your thoughts are consumed with them, and your body is itching to be in the mere presence of that person. But also fearing the actual return of that person and the power they hold over you and your emotions. He told me it is called “withdrawal”.

“It is mostly referred to drugs such as alcohol.”, he explained to me as he tried to brush out the knots in my hair. “But I think it can be applied to humans as well. You know, sometimes we long for people we can’t have or people that aren’t good for us. We see the signs, but we ignore them. We give in to the sweet yearning and get hurt in the process. But if we don’t give in and the yearning grows stronger, we crave it even more. We think about the person every day, imagine their scent, their eyes, their voice. We imagine them being in a room with us, talking and laughing with us. We do the things that are most painful to us just to have what we long for, even if we know it’s not good for us. And it hurts, physically and emotionally.”

I turned around to look at him, inspect his face and read what he was feeling when he said those things. “It sounds like you have experience with that feeling.” My father just shrugged and at that moment he looked older. He looked like an old man who has been through too much in his life. A man who deserves a break.

“I’ve been around much longer than you, dear. There were mistakes made and hearts torn, but it all worked out at the end.”

“How?”, I ask, curious as to how such a sad feeling still turned into something good.

“Because I got you, and your brother. That’s my happy ending.” I wanted to cry. I wanted to storm into his arms and never let him go. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just smiled at him, nodded my head and hoped that was enough for him. Because while his words filled my heart to the brim with love, my body still ached, not from the pain but for the boy I only met once in my life.

That’s why I tried to ignore the melody a few hours ago when it started again. Father went back to his bed a few minutes before, wanting to get some well-deserved sleep, leaving me alone in my room. I, as well, wanted to get some rest, but then I heard it. It was loud and clear, and more beautiful than I had remembered it to be. Almost immediately I felt my whole mind switch, forgetting the conversation I had had with my father. All that was in my head was him, Haechan.

I wanted to see him, no, I needed to see him. I felt lost without him, so empty and incomplete. I felt like my world wasn’t spinning correctly, time was going backwards, and the stars were falling out of the sky. Nothing felt right anymore. Not until I was with him.

I reached my door, but before I could open it something woke me up. Not from a dream, but from a trance. A smell, a very familiar one. It took up all my senses and brought me back to reality.

I realized what I was about to do and quickly sat back down on my bed, not daring to even set a foot on the floor anymore. It was frightening, what I felt just then. The longing I felt, just from one simple melody. I don’t know this boy, why would I feel so strongly about him? Why does he have so much power over my emotions?

His melody got louder. For a moment my head felt like it was exploding. He sounded sad, sorrowful. It broke my heart into pieces hearing him so vulnerable, longing for me the same way I was longing for him. But I didn’t give in. A part of me, I don’t know which one, knew it was wrong to see him again. So, I stayed on my bed, legs tightly pressed against my chest and my hands on my ears, trying to cover his despairing voice.

10 minutes ago, it stopped. It just went away, like it was never there in the first place. Curiosity almost got the best of me and wanted to check if he really left, but I was too scared, I still am.

I don’t know what he is doing to be, why he is here and why he is targeting me. But I know that whatever he is doing, it can’t be with good intentions. A person that makes another person feel such outrageous things, can’t be here for anything good.

Maybe it shouldn’t matter so much. Because, after all, I made him up. He isn’t real so whatever he is doing isn’t going to hurt me. I think my mind is reflecting this pain on me to make sense of why it’s slowly decapitating. It’s trying to distract me from the actual damage in my brain.

At least that is the only logical answer to all of this. Because anything other would be, well, crazy and I’m not crazy. I might lose my mind, but I am not crazy.

August 30th, 1878

Day 53 on sea

Maybe I am a bit crazy, and reckless, and irresponsible and plain stupid.

“You left me standing here for a long time yesterday. I missed you, darling.” But I couldn’t help myself but visibly relaxing as I heard his voice again.

It was all I could think about all day long. Him and his melody. I wanted to feel it again. Feel it in my veins, feel it shutting out all the thoughts in my head. I just wanted this bothering craving to go away. I think it got so bad that even Jisung, someone who barely talks to me, noticed it.

“Are you okay? Don’t you like the food?”, he asked as he watched me stare at the food in front of me.

“Oh, sorry. It’s not the food, don’t worry. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” I gave him a little smile, grabbing a fork and shoving some food in my mouth.

“Is there a reason behind it? I hope it wasn’t me.” Jisung looked a bit guilty as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I spent the whole night cooking because I also couldn’t sleep. I hope I wasn’t too loud and kept you awake.”

“Oh, so that was what I smelled yesterday.” Internally, I couldn’t help but to be grateful for the boy sitting in front of me. After all, was he the reason why I didn’t give in to see Haechan. But I couldn’t tell him that. I was already glad someone decided to speak to me, I didn’t want to ruin it by my insanity. “But no, that was not what kept me up. I mean I smelled it, but I just had too much going on inside my mind to rest.”

The boy just nodded his head, shoving a fork full of food in his mouth. “Care to share some of your thoughts?”, he says with his mouth still full of food. He looked like a child in that moment, with his eyes wide and his mouth dirty with crumps.

“Just thinking a lot more about my mother lately.”, I told him, only half lying. Mother has been on my mind a lot lately, but that obviously wasn’t the reason why I couldn’t sleep. “I miss her. I mean I always miss her, but being so far away from home just makes me miss her more. You know, I see her everywhere. In the books I read, the words I write. I see her in the ocean, feel her in the air and smell her in every scent. It’s bizarre.”

“No, it’s not.”, Jisung disagreed, putting his fork down and propping his elbow up on the table to lean his face on his hand. “I miss my mother too. I mean, she isn’t dead, but her and my father are no longer together. She left with my sister, my father kept me, and I haven’t seen her in three years. I miss her too sometimes. But I think I miss the things she did for me more than I miss her. When I was a child, I always had trouble falling asleep so she would always tell me a bedtime story. I think that is why some nights I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Jisung. Next time you have trouble sleeping just get me. I can also tell you bedtime stories.”

He nodded yet again, showing me another one of his smiles. “Thank you, Y/n. And you know what? I think you are really brave. I wanted to say that to you earlier, but I never had the guts to actually do. I think that we can all be grateful that someone like you joined this expedition. We really need more smart crewmates on this ship.”

But I don’t think I am that smart anymore. I don’t think I even deserve to be called smart anymore. Because every single thing about the decisions I make is anything other than smart. And as I looked into the deep brown eyes of the boy in front of me, that only got confirmed.

“No answer? No ‘I missed you too’?” His voice had an alluring tone, soothing all the wounds inside me and doing things to my body I am too embarrassed to admit. “What a shame, sweet girl. I was pretty sure I could sense your longing for me yesterday. Maybe I was wrong.”

I didn’t know what to answer. And I honestly am glad I didn’t, positive that my voice would have come out in nothing but a pathetic whisper. Haechan was walking closer to me again, reaching his hand out again to hover over the skin of my arm but never touching me.

“Can you feel that?”, he whispers, eyes never leaving mine. “Can you feel the goosebumps slowly forming on your skin, the shiver down your spin?” He waited for me to answer him, but all I could do was nod. “Words, sweetheart.”

“Yes.” I answered him, voice cracking with that one simple word. “Yes, I can feel that.”

“Good. That is exactly what I want you to feel.” He took a few steps back again, so he was leaning against the railing. “Why did you decide to come here tonight? Couldn’t get enough of me?”

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing myself what the actual reason behind me coming to see him again was. “Why do you keep calling for me?”

“Calling for you? How exactly am I calling for you?” Cocking his head to the side, still wearing a smirk on his lips. But I don’t want to get too detailed about his face, still feeling a bit embarrassed of the things I felt in that moment.

“The melody your singing, it’s for me. You are calling me with your melody.” A chuckle left his lips, melodic like his voice.

“How can you be so sure of that? What if I just like to sing pretty melodies?” His question sounded so innocent and for a moment I was uncertain about my statement, fearing I might have misinterpreted everything. But I knew what I was feeling. I knew that his melody was meant to be for me and no one else. I know it might sound crazy, but the thought of him singing this melody, my melody, for someone else felt unsettling.

“Because if you sung it for someone else, they would stand here instead of me. No one else is responding to your melody, only me, so it must be for me.” For a few seconds there was nothing but silence around us. Haechan wasn’t saying a thing, seeming like he was thinking about his next words. And I didn’t say anything, fearing that if I might, he would disappear again.

“You’re right.”, he finally spoke up. “It is for you.”

“But why? Why do you sing this melody for me?”

“Because I wanted to meet you, Y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I got to have you. I got to be with you. I craved nothing more than to talk to you, to simply be blessed to be in the mere presence of you. I am longing for you, the same way you are longing for me, my love.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. His words filled up my heart, and I started feeling lightheaded.

He was craving for me. He wanted to meet me. Everything that I am feeling towards him, as strange as those emotions are, he is feeling for me as well. His words were the most beautiful, heart wrenching thing I have ever heard in my inter life. I felt lucky to be seen this way, to be wanted this way, never actually having had someone tell me that before.

He really went all this way, just to meet me. Singing this melody, coming up this ship. But isn’t it a bit strange as well? I remembered not seeing another ship anywhere nearby. Where did he come from? How did he see me? Questions started filling my mind again, shaking me awake.

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to meet me from the first time you saw me? When did you see me?” I could see his body tensing up. Maybe he wasn’t expecting such a question.

“I can answer your question, but first you have to come with me. Please, Y/n. I will tell you everything, just please come with me. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Haechan.” I looked at his hand, which was reaching for me again, motioning me to take it in mind. “Where do you want to take me? I mean there is no other ship anywhere near.”

“Y/n, just trust me, okay? Come with me and I will make the thoughts in your head disappear. I will make everything heal for you.” His hands hovered over my arms again, almost as if he couldn’t touch me. I wanted him to. I wanted him to touch me so badly. But I could see that something in his eyes had changed. They were darker, more desperate and demanding, and I knew it was my time to leave.

“I can’t.”, I told him, taking a few steps back. “I have to get up early tomorrow.” And with that I left, not once looking back as I walked back into my room.

I don’t know if what I did was right, or if I upset him with my behavior.

All I hope for is that he isn’t mad at me and will forgive me when he comes back. If he comes back.

August 31st, 1878

Day 54 on sea

He did in fact come back.

“Missed me?” There was something more gentle in the way he was talking to me today. Something more reserved.

“What if I did?” That made him smile, not smirk like he normally does. Haechan showed me a bright honest smile. And all I could think about was that he never looked more ethereal than in that moment.

“Then I will be highly pleased, my love. You know why?” I shook my head as a no, waiting for him to continue his sentence. “Because I missed you too?”

“You did?”

“Of course, I did. You were all I could think about all day long, pretty girl.” He stayed a bit further away from me too today and I wondered why. I asked myself if he didn’t want to be close to me again or if he felt rejected after what happened yesterday. “I couldn’t stop thinking about your sweet smile, your beautiful eyes and your lovely voice. I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

“Why don’t you touch me?”, I said out of the blue, catching not only myself, but him off guard as well. “You never touch me. You only hover your hands above my skin. Why?”

He smiled again, sweet and kind. “Because if I touch you once, I will never be able to stop again.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” He only shook his head, turning around to face the stars instead of me. But I didn’t want him to look away, I wanted him to look at me, because when he does look at me, I can feel again.

“I am sorry about yesterday, you know? I am sorry I was too intrusive, I let myself get caught up in my emotions.” I had to process his words, that being the last thing I thought would come out of his mouth. Never once had a men apologized to me for anything. I am so used to getting treated like nothing and it being normal in a society like the one I grew up with. Never once has anyone cared so much about me to consider my emotions and apologize for a mistake.

“Thank you.”, I just whispered, trying to swallow the tears. “That means a lot to me.” I decided to join him at the rail, watch the stars with him for a little while.

“Do you know that I think you are not real? I think I am imagining you, because for the past weeks I have been slowly losing my mind. Seeing the same things every day, not talking to anyone and having to deal with all those thoughts in my head. I think I started imagining you so I could just stop time for a while.”

“But I am real.”, he said, looking deep into my eyes. “I am real. You are not insane, and you are definitely not imagining me. I can prove that to you. Just take my hand and you will see.”

“Why does that feel like a trap?”, I asked him, watching his face, trying to read his emotions. But it stayed the same. His smile didn’t butch for a second and his eyes still held the same gentleness.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Y/n. There is no trap. I am just offering you evidence to your lingering questions about your own sanity. I am just trying to be nice to you, but if you don’t appreciate that.”

“No, no I do. I am grateful for your kindness. You just sounded so demanding, and it made me doubtful.”

“I am so sorry, my sweet girl. It was never my intention to make you doubt me. That will never happen again, okay? All I want is the best for you. Nothing more.” I just nodded, eyes facing the wooden floor of the ship. “I am going to tell you the story of why I so desperately wanted to talk to you, since I didn’t yesterday. Maybe that will cheer you up a bit again.”

“I wanted to talk to you because I was mesmerized by you. Because there are not a lot of people out there like you. People so willing to learn and to explore. I never met a woman like you, someone so strong minded and independent. I loved how you never let anyone talk bad to you and I love how despite the negative things the men on this ship say about you, you still stay here. You prove to them every day that you are capable of being on such an expedition and that you are more qualified than they could ever be. And I just knew I had to talk to you, I had to have you in my life.”

And it was like he knew what I needed to hear. Like he knew my deepest darkest thoughts and all the things I was craving to ever be told by someone. It was like he spoke right into my soul and built up this newfound strength. I felt empowered, I felt loved. But yet again, I was also wondering how he could know all those things about me.

“Why do you know all that, Haechan?”

“I told you already, Y/n. I was longing for you.” It didn’t make sense. His answer didn’t make any sense. Was he avoiding my question? Or maybe he understood the question wrong, thinking this was an answer that would satisfy me. But it didn’t.

“That doesn’t answer my question. How can you possibly know about all those? We just met.”

I could hear a sigh leaving his lips, the long and frustrated kind. I am familiar with those, having heard them a thousand times from my father and brother. And I asked myself if I, yet again, upset him with my question. If I should have just kept quiet and appreciated his kind words and moved on from the topic.

“And yet again you don’t appreciate my kindness. All I do is be nice to you, proving to you that I am real and trustworthy, and you still doubt me. Don’t you know how much that hurts me? Do you?” His voice rose visibly, nostrils flaring and eyes growing wider. Haechan wasn’t looking like himself at that moment. He almost looked inhumane.

“I am sorry, Haechan. Please don’t say that. I do trust you. Please, I’m sorry.”, I started begging him, reaching for his hand, which he pulled away. “Please.” Tears filled my eyes and my whole body started hurting again, like it was slowly breaking apart from the inside out.

“You hurt me, Y/n. I don’t think your apology can fix this.”

And this time it was him walking away, disappearing into the darkness, and leaving me standing at the same spot, mourning for him like I had just lost a person to death.

September 1st, 1878

Day 55 on sea

I could see the surprise on his face when he saw me standing there, waiting for him this time, not needing his melody to be called. But the look of surprise quickly faded away and a smirk replaced it instead.

“I see you don’t even need my melody anymore.” It almost sounded cocky the way he said it.

“I wanted to be here first so I could apologize to you.”, I spoke the words with so much sincerity, wanting him to believe me and see that I genuinely mean the apology. “I am really sorry for hurting your feelings yesterday. It was never my intention. All I want to do is make you happy, Haechan, and I am so sorry that I failed to do so.”

He looked at me for a few seconds, brows raised, before he shrugged his shoulders. “What will you do if I don’t accept your apology?”

I didn’t hesitate when I spoke my next words. “I will beg for your forgiveness. I will beg until you accept my apology. I will do anything you want me to.”

“Anything I want you to?”, he asked, and I just nodded my head at him, desperation fulling my actions and probably written all over my face. “I will hold onto that one.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Haechan shrugged again, taking a few steps forward into my direction. Looking at him in that moment, I didn’t think he looked hurt. Normally people have this look on their face when their feelings got hurt, quivering lips, wide and sad eyes, body folding in on itself. But Haechans eyes were almost narrowed, and he was towering over me, almost like he was looking down at me. My father once told me people do that to prove their dominance over the other person, but I don’t think that was what Haechan wanted to do in that moment. Or was it?

Maybe Haechan is just like my brother, a person who has to hide their true feelings behind a stone-cold face to demonstrate strength. Or maybe he just didn’t want me to see him hurt by me to make me feel less guilty. Because I was and still am feeling bad for making him feel that way yesterday. I still regret my words and wish I would have just shut my mouth. I should do that more often, shutting my mouth in some situations. It would have saved me from a lot of things.

“I’m still thinking about it. Maybe I will tell you my answer at the end of the night.” That gave me some hope. Even though he didn’t yet accept my apology, he still wanted to spend time with me and that was more than enough for me.

“I saw you talking to that Jisung guy again today.” Haechan was still towering over me, hands in the pockets of his pants and eyes narrowing in on my face. “What is so intriguing about him that you talk so much to him?”

“Did you watch me?”, I asked him, shock lacing my voice. Jisung and I only talked in the kitchen today. I was hungry since I overslept in the morning and didn’t have breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen to grab myself something, Jisung was standing there, preparing the fish for dinner. We spent some time together, me eating my food and him cooking more. There wasn’t a lot of conversation, we just basked in the presence of each other.

“I asked you a question first.”, Haechan voice got lower again. I could only describe it as sinister. There was an undertone in that one small sentence, something that told me I should not say the wrong thing. So, I took a moment to gather my thoughts, fight through the mess in my head and find an answer that will satisfy him.

“He isn’t interesting to me.”, I tell him, keeping my voice clear and loud. “He is just the only person that talks to me when you aren’t here. There is nothing more to it.”

“It didn’t look like that earlier, sweetheart. I thought the two of you looked very cozy in that kitchen, sneaking glances at each other.” He let out a sound similar to a ‘tsk’ and shook his head in a mocking manner. “Am I not enough for you anymore? Do you go around and search for other men when I’m not around? Are you so desperate and needy for attention?”

“No.”, I whispered, feeling even the small last bit of confidence leaving my body. Haechan has a way of making me feel weaker and weaker, draining every last thought out of my head and making my body his. “No, Haechan.”

I felt my legs give him, sinking to my knees. My body felt so heavy but at the same time so light. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, lowering his head so he was looking right into my eyes. “You can’t talk to other men, Y/n. You are mine only, do you understand?” All I could do was nod my head at him, but that didn’t satisfy him. “You belong to me, right, my sweet girl? I need you to say it.”

“I belong to you.”, I mumbled, not having the strength to fully open my mouth.

“That is right. You belong to me, your body belongs to me and even your mind belongs to me. You are all mine, pretty princess.” He took up all my senses. I could only see him, smell him, hear him, feel him everywhere. Like only he excited in this world and no one else.

Haechan leaned forward, his lips brushing the skin of my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, and it sent shivers down my back. “Now come with me, darling. Take my hand and come with me. I will make sure you remember me forever.”

I reached for his hand, fingers brushing against each other, but before I could close them around his, a bright light shined a bit further away from us. Everything happened so fast after that. I heard footsteps, a voice and suddenly I felt empty. Haechan was no longer kneeling in front of me and right as I wanted to look for him, my body gave in, and I fainted onto the cold wooden floor.

I don’t know how I got into my bed, and I don’t know who brought me into my bed. All I know is that the moment I woke up again I craved Haechan even more than I did before and I know that the next time he asks me to come with him, I will do so, without any hesitation.

September 2nd, 1878

Day 56 on sea

Everything changed today. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I felt. A lie.

I can’t stop crying. My tears are flowing like an endless waterfall. I’m a mess, a disaster. How could I let this all happen? I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I was stronger than this. But I was blinded. I was corrupted, manipulated, used.

I feel dirty, like I haven’t washed in weeks. But I just did. I spent a long time trying to scrub away the dirt I felt, trying to scrub away the shame I felt. I put everyone, especially me, in danger with my reckless behavior, with my blindness, with my incompetence. I am a failure.

I spent the whole day ignoring everyone around me, not even looking at anyone that passed me by. I wanted to desperately prove to Haechan that I only want him and no one else, that everyone on this ship doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is him. I was hoping he was watching me again, being proud of me.

But unfortunately, there was one person I couldn’t avoid even if I tried to.

“You wanted to speak to me, father.”, I said as I entered my father’s office room. I have never been in that room, not once over all these weeks. The room was scattered in books, empty bottles and maps of the sea. I always imagined the room to be neater, at least that was what my father always seemed to be. But my mother told me once that your room reflects the mental state you were in. Maybe my father was also struggling with his sanity.

“Yes.”, he answered me, looking up from his book. “I wanted to see how you are feeling, after your little incident yesterday.”

“I’m feeling fine, father. Must have been me sleep walking again. There is nothing to worry about.”

He just hummed, his face showing the uncertainty he felt because of my words. My father mustered me for a few seconds, waiting for even a little muscle to twitch in my face to show him if I was lying. But I kept a straight face, looking him right into the eyes. “I am thrilled to hear that. And we will find a way to fix your nightly problem.”

Father went back to reading in his book, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, the curious part of me wondered what he was so engrossed in. I always loved the books my father reads, knowing that they are filled with new knowledge. “What are you reading?”

He held up the book, showing me the cover. “Knowledge about the mysteries of the ocean.”, I read out loud, furrowing my eyebrows at the title. What an odd book, I have never heard about that. “What mysteries are listed in the book?”

“Oh, just some fisher men tales. Mermaids, kraken, leviathan, sirens. All those tales which warn everyone on ships about the dangers of the sea.”

“Sirens? I have never heard of them. What are they?” My father turned his book around, showing me the page, he was just reading. On it was a drawn picture of what looked to be a half bird, half fish creature. My stomach started to turn, the longer I looked at it, frightened by its appearance.

“This book says that sirens are mythical creatures, half bird, half fish. Through their angelic singing they lure in fishermen to kill them. It is said that their voice lures them in, but their face is what makes the fishermen stay.”

“Their face?”, I asked, not believing that for a second.

“They put you in a trance with their voice and make you see whoever you most desire. They are insidious, malicious creatures, feared by everyone who ever entered the ocean. They are dangerous, Y/n.” He looked me in the eyes, as if he knew something I didn’t. As if he wanted to tell me more with the last sentence.

“Do you really believe they exist? To me that just sounds like fishermen making up excuses as to why they didn’t bring any fish home.”

My father let out a long sigh, head shaking. He turned the book back to him and stared at the picture for a few more seconds, before closing the book again. “You could be right, Y/n. I mean you have always been the realistic one in this family. But as long as there is no proof that they don’t exist, I will have to believe those tales. It’s better to believe and find out they don’t exist, than to not believe and find out they do exist.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about his words after I left his office. They kept spinning around my head, swirling and clashing against other thoughts. And they were connecting. My thoughts were connecting together, and suddenly there was only one thought left. One person in my mind, and not for the reasons he had been in my mind for the past few days.

But I didn’t want to admit that. Not even to myself. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t true. Those useless tales were nothing but fiction, made up stories to save the fishermen from embarrassment and disappointment. Nothing more and nothing less.

Because I knew Haechan. I knew he wasn’t capable of something like that. He wasn’t a creature designed to prey on innocent people. Or was he?

I couldn’t help but smile as I heard the familiar melody, as I felt it sink deep under my skin and erase everything inside of me. I loved the pain it inflicted on my heart, the way the melody ripped me apart into a million pieces. I loved how for the first few seconds everything stopped being important to me. Breathing, feeling, living. Nothing felt important for a few seconds. Nothing but him.

Haechan leant against the rail of the ship, hands in his trousers and a smirk on his lips. It almost felt like a déjà-vu. I remembered how I felt when I first saw him. Feelings that were once so innocent and unfamiliar are now unconditional and fierce. “My pretty girl.”, he whispered, and I felt the weight on my shoulders lift. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”, I asked, taking a few steps closer to him. I was craving his closeness, his touch. I needed him to touch me, anywhere. I didn’t mind where.

“Ready to come with me.” My head was clouded, brainwashed by his beautiful voice. But wasn’t that exactly what my father told me, what he warned me about. “I can see your doubt in me, sweetheart. What is it that is plaguing your beautiful mind?”

“Do you plan on killing me?” I don’t know why I asked him that question. I don’t know how I got the strength to break out of the haze, even just a little bit.

“Killing you? Why would I kill you?” His eyes darkened and I could see his body language changing. I could see all of him changing. Haechan let out a chuckle before walking into my direction, stopping when he was right behind me. Brushing my hair back, never once touching me, as he leant down to whisper into my ear.

“I really wanted to kill you at first, my sweet girl. I wanted nothing else but to rip you apart.” My body shut down, letting me fall weakly to my knees just like the day before. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for more than five seconds. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, yet again and placed his hand on my cheek. Finally, I could feel him. I could feel the one thing I craved most, his touch. But it didn’t feel how I imagined it to. Instead of lifting me up and making me basked in comfort, it made me flinch. His touch made me want to never see the light of day ever again. “But how could I kill such a beautiful thing? You are my precious girl, aren’t you? So sweet and special.”

I wanted to run, get away from him. I wanted to do anything but to stay with him, but my body didn’t let me. My body stayed down on the ground, heavy and useless. “Does it hurt, love? Does my touch and my words hurt you?” He didn’t need an answer because he knew. He knew how every bone in my body felt like it was on fire as soon as he muttered those words. He knew all I wanted was to make this growing pain stop. “Just come with me. I will make the pain stop.”

When I looked up at him, I saw only a glimpse of him. His skin was pale blue, scales all over it, and his teeth were sharp and long. This wasn’t the boy I met a few nights ago, the boy who made me feel like I was floating on the clouds and the boy who gave me a reason to live. This was a creature, a monster. A siren.

“Go away.”, I croaked out with the last strength I had left in my body.

“Oh no, you poor thing. Don’t be like that.” Not even his voice sounded like the sweet melody I once heard. It didn’t give me sweet pleasure anymore, it only gave me pain. “You love me, or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten all the feelings I inflicted on you? Have you forgotten how good you felt when you were with me? I can make that come back. You just have to come with me.”

“Go to hell.” I didn’t know that this simple sentence could mean the end of my life because the next thing I felt was a sharpness going through my body. And I knew this would be it. This would be the last few seconds before I was gone.

“Y/n!”, I heard someone shout, loud and piercing. I opened my eyes, only to have my vision be blurry. I tried to move, look who that voice belonged to and if I was imagining it again. “Go away and never come back, or I will have you killed and each and everyone of you creatures on this planet.”

I took a hurtful breath and it felt as if my lungs were filled with broken pieces of glass. My eyes tried to stay open, but I didn’t have the strength. “No, Y/n. Stay awake. Please don’t leave me.”

Whiteness surrounded me, filling me up and taking me in. Silence. I heard nothing more than silence. I tried looking around, kicking and fighting as I was trapped in nothing but endless vastness. Far away from me I could see something, or someone waiting for me. I tried to walk towards it, reaching my arms out to grab it, but I never came close.

“It’s not your time yet, Y/n.” And before I could question those words, my eyes opened.

It took me a few seconds to regain my vision, seeing the familiar walls of my room. As I remembered just what had happened, I felt panic filling my body, my breaths coming out faster than normal and my mind spiraling in wild circles.

“It’s okay, Y/n.”, I heard the voice of my father first before I felt his arms around my body, pulling me tightly into him. “Your safe. Nothing can hurt you anymore.”

I looked up at him with wide eyes and my mouth agape. I felt like a little kid again, crying in the arms of my father after having a bad dream. Just that this wasn’t a dream. This is reality.

“It’s okay. We are on our way back home. That creature will never find you again, we made sure of that, okay?” My father held me with so much delicacy, fearing he might break me. “You’re safe. I won’t let anyone, or anything hurt you again.”

And I believed him. There in the arms of my father I believed his words. So, I closed my eyes, let the sleep consume me and hoped that this promise would be one he could keep.

September 10th, 1878

Day 64 on sea

I let the salt air take away all the scars of the past weeks as I watched the soft waves flow under the setting sun. This was the first time in eight days that I had the courage to leave my room. I couldn’t face the place where everything happened. The place where I almost lost myself.

I closed my eyes and imagined the soft grass under my toes, the chirping birds in my ear and the blinding sunlight in my eyes. I imagined biting into a sweet apple, feeling the fresh morning air on my skin and smiling at the veracity of the moment.

“Daydreaming again?”, I heard a voice in front of me, making an actual smile appear on my lips. A smile I haven’t let myself show in a long time.

“What brings you out here? Shouldn’t you be in your bed, sleeping like everyone else is?” Jisung just shrugged his shoulders, his hair softly swaying in the wind.

He showed me a sweet smile, sitting down beside me and taking one of my hands in his. “I am not going to ask you how are doing, since everyone else does that every day.” I nodded at him, grateful for not hearing the repeating question out of his mouth as well. “But I am going to ask you if you still feel the withdrawal, you told me about.”

My eyes filled with tears again and I tried my best to swallow them down. “Yes.”, I mumbled, looking down, too ashamed to let him see me this way. To let him see me so weak and pathetic. “Yes, I still feel it, every day. I long for him, and I know it isn’t right. He isn’t who he showed me to be. I know I was blinded by a trance. I was blinded by need. I know what I am feeling isn’t right and that he wasn’t right. But for a few seconds, for a few seconds every day, it felt real. For a few seconds every day I could just be. I could be me. I could forget the pain and my thoughts, and I could breathe.”

Jisung just nodded his head, not letting go of my hand, but he didn’t say a word. I appreciated that. I appreciated the quietness of him. Because as opposed to the others, he didn’t lecture me on my feelings. He didn’t tell me how it is wrong to feel the way I do and how I should have seen all this coming. He didn’t try to tell me how to move past this, or how to continue living my life. Jisung just stayed silent.

“Why are you awake?”, I asked him after a few moments, breaking the silence he gifted me.

“I couldn’t sleep. And the last time I told you about my sleeping problems, you told me you could tell me a story, like my mother did. A bedtime story to make me fall asleep.” I let the tears that still lingered in my eyes roll down my cold cheeks, as I nodded my head. “Will you tell me one?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I will tell you any story you want.”

And so, I did.

I told everyone my story.

Bonus

“What took you so long?”

Haechan swam into the cave, brushing past everyone that was looking at him with expecting eyes. He ignored them all and just kept swimming.

“Answer my question.”, Jeno spoke louder this time, but Haechan just kept swimming. He didn’t care that everyone was waiting for him, waiting for him to fulfill his promise, to fulfill all the promises he had made for the past weeks.

“We had a fight.”, he told Jeno with a shrug of his shoulders, nonchalant about the other one’s questions. Haechan could see the disappointment and anger in the faces of everyone in the cave, and he couldn’t care less. He knew what he was doing was right. He knew it was necessary to go through all these lengths to get what he wanted, what everyone wanted.

“A fight?”, his friend repeated, skeptic lingering in his voice. “This isn’t a game, Haechan. We put our trust and time in your hands. How long until this plan of yours backfires? How long until they notice that their ship hasn’t been moving in days? How long until they discover us and put an end us?”

“Jeno.”, Haechan’s eyes piercing into the older boy, voice clearly stating a warning. “Have you lost all your trust in me? I know what I am doing.”

“Are you?” Everyone was looking at the two, anticipating the outcome of this long-awaited conversation. “You were the one promising us you were going to get us this girl. You were the one convincing us how much you were craving her and how much we should as well. And we have given you time, but all you do is play around. This isn’t a game, Haechan. This will determine our lives. Without her, we will not survive, and you are very well aware of that.”

“This is where you are wrong, my dear friend.” Haechan turned his body, facing all the sirens watching him. “This is a game, and I am the leader of it. This girl we are talking about is different from everyone we have ever had. This one is special. She isn’t easily fooled by my tricks, by my voice. She has a smart mind, that one.” A wide grin appeared on the siren’s lips, making him almost look crazy, and his eyes narrowed on his friend yet again. “This one will bring us everything we have ever dreamt of. And it will work. The game I am playing, the fight we were having today, it will all work in the end.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” The question lingered in the quiet of the cave, the eyes of everyone looking at Haechan, faith and trust all in his hands.

“Because it is all going according to plan.”, he announced, voice thick with pride and confidence. “It is all going according to my plan.”

#lee haechan #lee haechan imagine #lee haechan imagines #lee haechan angst #lee haechan nct 127 #lee haechan nct dream #lee haechan nct #nct dream imagines #nct dream x y/n #nct dream x reader #nct dream fanfic #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #lee haechan x reader #haechan imagines #haechan x reader #haechan x y/n #lee haechan x y/n

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stephaniebrownslover · 7 months ago

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CREEPYPASTA PIRATE AU-PART I

Okay so it would be reaaaaaaaly nice if anyone could ask or draw anything because the only thing I can do is writing and even that's suck.

But I really needed a pirate AU. Although, this post is more like why they became a pirate.

I did some research but I'm willing to listen the tips and facts that will come from you. Also sorry for grammar mistakes.

And I've told you guys that I had so many creepypasta AU's.

Main characters

-Slenderman

➤Captain

➠The captain of a pirate ship was very often the arch-criminal brains of the pirate operations.

When he got kicked out of the national army as a high-ranking soldier because of incorrect accusations, he decided to rebel this corrupted government while considering one's own interest.

He bought the ship called "Laverna" with all of his life savings. This name means the roman goddess of thieves and the underworld, and he thought this would be the perfect name for her.

Slenderman was the nickname they called him in army because of his tallness. But he uses this name for not forgetting where he comes from. To remember how his country betrayed him.

-Jeff The Killer

➤Cooper

➠The Cooper ensured the barrels remained as airtight and watertight as possible, and he could dismantle empty barrels to increase space for newly captured cargo. The cooper also made and repaired buckets.

He was nothing more than a criminal who sentenced to death when Slenderman had found him. He saved him only because of his long reputation. Jeff doesn't know why Slenderman kidnapped him the day of his execution but he likes to push Slenderman to the edge.

Jeff and Liu were staying in different orphanages while they were kids, and they hadn't see each other for about five years. Not until Jeff burned the orphanage he was staying to the ground because of the attendant nuns.

The nuns were fully convinced that he was possessed by a demon and they were hurting him to get that out. Jeff used the matches he stole from dining hall to burn them. They not only hurt Jeff physically but also mentally in the ritual.

-Clockwork

➤Quartermaster

➠A pirate quartermaster was often the second-in-command, and below him were the first and second mates. He was, then, the equivalent of a merchant First Mate or a naval First Lieutenant.

Natalie grew up in a very poor family. Her mother was a prostitute and her father was the one reason why she had born. He sweared that he would be a good father and he named their daughter as 'Natalie'. But he left the day she born.

She had a tough childhood and she always had to fought for what she wanted. One day, when her father decided to meet with them, he hated Natalie because of how impolite and bearish she was. He convinced her mother who wanted a husband to take care of herself to send Natalie to a mental asylum. This could only mean a death sentence for Natalie.

She escaped while they were on the road of asylum and she run to the sea. She thought that there was no chance of life left for her at the land area as she was a high wanted person who killed her kidnappers. She met with Slenderman at there and Slenderman offered her a job because of how fast the rumours spread. She introduced herself as Clockwork, because she felt sick in the stomach everytime she heard the name her father chose for her.

-Masky

➤Quartermaster

➠A pirate quartermaster was often the second-in-command, and below him were the first and second mates. He was, then, the equivalent of a merchant First Mate or a naval First Lieutenant.

He is one of the first slaves Slenderman had bought for his crew. Tim, or the nickname as he goes, Masky, was a soldier from enemy country. All of his mans died in a battle, and they sold him as a slave with broken ribs that guaranteed he couldn't try to escape.

When Slenderman bought him, he hated to being pitied, especially by an enemy who lacked honour. He tried to fight back and resist being a slave but Slenderman beated him in order to prevent his escape.

He works for Slenderman even though he hates him more than anything. He owns him his life and he now is a slave of his principles. He cannot betray a person who saved him from death or a worse destiny but that doesn't mean he has to like his master.

-Ticci Toby

➤Boatswain

➠The boatswain supervised all those tasks requiring seamanship and was responsible for the ship’s stores and ensuring the ship’s rigging, sails, and anchors were in good working condition.

Toby was born in a family full of sailors. His life had been on the ocean even though he hated it. He wanted to get high education and create something with his bare hands. Being a salesman hadn't caught his interest at all.

That's why his father and he had so many arguments. They couldn't agree on anything and their fights became more violent each time. His father was the only one in the family who didn't support his education dreams and he was the only one who had right to do something about it.

When his family's ship sank because of a very dangerous storm, he was the only one who could survive. He was the only one who knew to swim and he couldn't save neither of his sister or mother. Slenderman saved him when he spotted that Toby was swimming towards his ship. Toby decided to stay in the ship as he had no future lying ahead of himself and he didn't even know where he was.

-Nina The Killer

➤Musician

➠They were useful as a source of rhythm to aid manual tasks like pulling rigging, to create a cacophony of noise which contributed to the general terror of a pirate attack, and they were at the beck and call of any of the crew who had the impulse to be entertained.

She was in the same orphanage with Jeff and Nina loved how he was the only person who could defend himself against the meaningless rules. She idolized him but this was only because of the lack of role modals in her life.

She was locked in a dark room while Jeff burned the orphanage because the nuns caught her playing the piano in the church before and a girl making music was inappropiate. No one came to save her and more than half of her body burned.

Nina escaped the orphanage that day the time firemans came. She followed the tracks of Jeff and she played piano and singed songs in pubs for a living for years. When she heard Slenderman took Jeff, she tracked the ship and basically begged for him to take her with him. Slenderman had heard her musical talents before and decided took her to his ship.

-Kate The Chaser

➤Gunner

➠The ship’s team of cannon operators was led by the gunner, who shouted the order 'Fire!' and who was assisted by a gunner’s mate.

She was the only daughter of a very well-known aristocrat family. They wanted her to be their perfect heir for the family ans they pushed her for this through all her life. But she never liked this. She never talked much, she never obeyed their rules, she never became the daughter they wanted.

She started to escape in order to train herself in archery and gun using. She worked really hard to became the best at what she was doing and she dedicated her life to this, because she viewed doing what she always wanted was a riot against her family.

She built a reputation as 'The Chaser', known as a very feared underground criminal. When the karma came for her and she get caught, her family rejected her. The only one who offered her help was the Slenderman. She accepted as she had no other choice and she became one of his crew.

-Zalgo

➤Major

➠In the army major is a field officer above the rank of captain and below the rank of lieutenant colonel. It is equivalent to the naval rank of lieutenant commander in the other uniformed services.

He and Slenderman were really close friends back in the army days. They were two very close friends when they had went to military service. They even gave the decision to stay in the military for their future career together.

But Slenderman was better than him. Zalgo was nothing but a shadow of Slenderman, but he didn't mind it. When Slenderman got promoted before him and he heard the sickening rumors, he knew ha had to do something about it. He spread improper facts and made inorrect evidence against Slenderman's sake.

Slenderman had given the nickname Zalgo to him. After he got fired from the national army, he couldn't face the fact what he did, so he still goes by this name. He still respects Slenderman, that's why he is very determined about consignin his old friend to the government and killing him by his own hands.

Random facts about this AU

This universe sets in 17th century, in the beginning of the Golden Ages of pirates.

*¹ The only active couple in this universe is Jane and Mary but they're not married. Being homosexual is counting as a huge crime and neither of them want to risk the other's life.

Slenderman is one of the most feared Pirate's ever in the history. They respect him and they do whatever he says except some members of his crew. Maybe that's why he still keeps them as their crew. No one knows the reason.

...

*¹ I want everyone to enjoy this AU without minding the ships. But shipping is totally fine as long as they're not weird like Sally x anyone!

Again, questions are open for everyone!!!

#jeff the killer #nina the killer #ticci toby creepypasta #masky creepypasta #creepypasta clockwork #kate the chaser #slenderman #zalgo creepypasta #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta au

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whereismymindnow · 3 months ago

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I'm awful with photoshop, but it doesn't mean I'll stop trying.

I've had this written up for a while, figured I'd upload it and see if it sparks a bit more than a few sentences of inspiration.

Dark!Aemond x OFC x Dark!Aegon

"No, father." Aemyra quickly grabbed Daemon's hand as he immediately moved to release Dark Sister from his scabbard. "Stop." His lip curled as she stood on front of him, guarding the one-eyed prince and Cole from his wrath. "Let them play their games." Aemyra whispered softly. At the sound of her exhausted voice, Daemon looked down at his daughter's face and sighed.

Aemyra was known for her pale skin, the peasants whispered that she had been carved from the moon itself, but she was almost ghostly in complexion now that he saw her in the light. She had holed herself up in her quarters over the last few days and Daemon was certain that she had shrunk. Her once bright eyes were reddened from fatigue. The last thing that Daemon wanted to do was leave his daughter alone with the Hightower cunts, but the King's order stopped him from taking her back to Dragonstone. "Look at mama."

Daemon glanced at Rhaenyra, his heavily pregnant wife ushered the rest of the children on to the ship, a hand resting on her back as the weight of the babe strained her. The stress of the Driftmark hearing and the disastrous dinner had taken its toll and his wife had been insistent on taking her children back to the safety of their home. "I will not abandon you."

"You have no choice, father." Her soft hand cupped his cheek and she stepped forward to rest her head against his chest. "You must protect them. They need you."

"And what of you? You cannot fight against all of them by yourself." Daemon inhaled as his drunken nephew stumbled down the steps to stand beside his brother with a grin. He whispered into Aemond's ear causing the corner of his brother's mouth to lift. "Tell me... tell me what they've done to you." Aemyra avoided his gaze and shook her head.

"I cannot. I cannot say it."

Aemond’s hand wrapped around her throat, the feeling of his cold rings made her flinch. “Shhhh.” His tone was gentle as he held her tightly against his chest with one arm. “Keep looking.” Her eyes locked onto their reflection in the mirror. She felt naked as she was dressed only in her thin nightgown having just finished her evening bath.

“You smell delicious.” Aegon stood beside them, quite enjoying how she was kept captive by his brother as he drank from his goblet. “Good enough to eat…” He slowly dropped to his knees and gripped the end of her gown in his hands. His grin was predatory as he pushed the material upwards until it was over her hipbones. Aemyra tried to look away as she was bared to them both but Aemond tightened his grip around her throat in warning.

“Don’t. You’ve played so well thus far.” He took the material from his brother so that Aegon could have full access to their niece’s body.

“Imagine if Daemon could see this.”

“What would your mother think?”

Aemyra would not admit to her father that her uncles had destroyed her behind closed doors. "Just know that I will continue to fight. I won't let them win. I shall be waiting for your return." She gently pressed a kiss to his cheek and tucked her arm under his, steering him to the ship where her mother stood waiting for him.

"Sweet girl..." Rhaenyra shook her head and exhaled a shaky breath. "I am so sorry. I did not wish this for you."

"Do not worry, mama. I shall see you again soon and you can present my beautiful sister to me." Aemyra painted a teary smile on her face and embraced her mother. "Have a safe journey. I shall look after grandfather until you return."

“Remember what I taught you.”

"You need only send word and your father will bring you to me. Stay safe, daughter." Daemon held out his arm for his wife to take, and despite neither Targaryen wishing to leave their daughter at the mercy of the Greens, assisted her to board the ship.

Aemyra waited for the ship to leave port before allowing her tears to fall. Oh, how she wished she could join them. She wished that she could go back to her Dragonstone where she felt protected and happy... but she couldn't. Her grandfather's ruling that she would marry Aemond stopped her from escaping. She would never forget the look on her father's face; the murderous rage that filled his eyes as he listened to his brother's words. Despite being kept apart for years, her father was her greatest advocate. She may be the product of a lust-filled night in a brothel, but she was his and he despised anyone that tried to take her away. Aemyra only hoped that Viserys would live long enough to see the error of his ways and dismantle the betrothal. If she could get some time with him, then perhaps she could change his mind. She had her father's silver tongue, after all.

Once the ship was nothing but a tiny dot in the distance, Aemyra wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. She could still feel the presence of her uncles a few feet away and she was determined to keep fighting against them, no matter how much they took from her. They could mark and stain her body as much as they wished, but she was a true Targaryen, and her fire burned hot. She would continue to charge into battle, even if she may not win the war. It was not in her blood to submit.

"Ah, niece... all alone." Aegon drawled from behind her. "Rhaenyra must prefer her brown-haired bastards to you. She didn't even look back."

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fanatic-writers · 1 year ago

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Adventures in Baby Sitting

Chapter One: The Adventure Begins

Previous | Masterlist | Next

A/n: I have a lot of fun things planned for this series. A lot of it is going to stick to the basis of the show but I also want to add some fun filler-type fics here and there. Some slice of life if you will. If there is anything you'd like to see feel free to send me a message and I will try to incorporate it into the series. I hope yall enjoy this and I'm actually really excited to keep writing this.

Word Count: 1952

Pairing: (Eventual) Din Djarin x Mandalorian!Reader

Warnings: Canon levels of violence but it's very tame, unedited like everything cause I'm lazy lol

Summary: Reader is the Armorer's daughter and is also a foundling. She and Din have known each other for a long time but he was never quite able to break his shell. When the Mandalorians help Din escape with the child she is ordered to go to his ship to help him care for the thing.

You hadn’t seen him come in at first, focused on your work despite the assistance of the machinery crafting armor from beskar wasn’t the easiest task in the world. Although that was the least of your worries. You watched as Din, or the Mandalorian as he was simply called now, fitted in his familiar armor had taken his seat. You glanced up from your work as your mother joined him. She hadn’t beckoned you over, so you did your best to continue despite wanting to catch up with your old friend. The two of you had known each other for quite some time, both foundlings, however, the Armorer had taken you under her wing when the Mandalorian that had found you passed shortly after. You were still too young to take the oath when it happened, but your mother had come to show you everything about her job, from forging to leading. You had grown since then, sworn to walk the path and follow The Way, honing in your skills by making armor for the foundlings. She eventually raised a hand to call you over and you joined her. Standing beside her as she handed you the piece of beskar. “Imperial?” You mumbled looking to the armor-clad man in front of you through your visor. “How did you-?” “It does not matter how.” Your mother spoke up “It is back in its rightful place. I’ll be crafting a pauldron, bring it to the smelter and then finish up with your work.” You nodded, silently doing as you were told. You watched as the beskar melted down, your mother preparing her tools. It wasn’t long before your piece for the Foundlings was finished, and she was handing over the new piece of armor to your friend.

“You didn’t speak to him.” Your mother’s voice filled the room that had been taken over by silence as you cleaned up your workstation. “He didn’t wish to speak.” You responded as you pulled out a failed project from ages ago, preparing to melt it down and turn it into a chest piece for yourself. As part of your practice, the Armorer had wanted you to slowly craft your own armor set, knowing the leather that the both of you wore wouldn’t protect you in every circumstance. “You didn’t ask.” You could hear the smirk on her lips despite the golden helmet that covered her face. If you hadn’t worn a helmet of your own, she’d see the look you gave her, but you hoped she could sense your disdain for her meddling in your relationship. You knew she only wanted what was best for you and that she knew how you felt about Mando, that didn’t mean you wanted her to try and set you up with the guy. “He’ll return eventually, and we will speak.”

Your mother had finished her work for the day, but you weren’t done yet. The sooner you finished your own armor the sooner you could work on more sets for the foundlings. You remembered watching your mother work on other sets of armor, patiently waiting for the day your own would come. Eventually, you were gifted a helmet for when you took the oath but most everything else was made of leather and chainmail. It wasn’t until you were able to create your own armor that you had your own set. You’d grown out of that long ago though. Your hammer swung, the pounding of metal filling the room as you let yourself get lost in your thoughts. What in the hell was Din Djarin doing with Imperial Beskar? And if he had it did it mean they were back? You put your anxiety and fear to work, letting it strengthen your swings. If they were back, you’d need to be ready to protect the Tribe, to protect your small clan. You looked at the chest plate, the final piece you’d needed to complete your set, and smiled softly. You were rarely happy with your work but this one felt right, it felt finished. All it needed now was a coat of paint. You’d have to do that later though. Instead, you cleaned up the armory and put the pieces in their place for when you were ready for them next. After that was finished you slipped from the armory and made your way to your room. The one upside to living with the Mandalorian was that despite the overall lack of privacy provided by the tunnels and caves something as simple as a cloth over an opening was respected as a door and never moved.

You pulled the tarp open over the opening of your small room and got to work removing your leather armor and finally, your helmet, setting it on a ledge next to your bed made of a pile of fabrics and whatever could have been scrounged up. Despite the circumstances, you considered your room rather cozy and your bed comfortable. You lay down and pulled the blanket up to your chin, turning your back to the door should someone intrude for whatever reason.

Days later you had spotted the Mandalorian as he walked down the halls to the all too familiar armory, a smile gracing your lips upon seeing his return. You briefly make your presence known to him before slipping into one of the many side halls that connect to the maze you and your clan had learned to call home. You noticed that there seemed to be quite the commotion going on at the armory, so you made your way there, sure you’d heard Paz getting upset about something yet again. The older Mandalorian always seemed to be in a mood lately, so you mostly stayed out of his way. Your mother made quick work of dispersing the conflict and you joined her in the armory, watching her work. It was expected that one day you would take her mantle. Whenever it was, she retired you had to be ready to not only mold and shape Beskar into the best armor but also become a guide for the Tribe. Your mother had done her best to make sure you would be ready when she was gone, knowing she had left quite the shoes to fill. She was the one who made sure that everyone was safe, especially after the destruction of Mandalore. You stood, lost in your thoughts, along the perimeter of the armor. You moved expertly to the various points your mother had instructed you to go to long ago when you first began your training, making sure you had the best angle to view the work she was doing. It was rare that the opportunity came to make a full set of armor from beskar alone, especially all in one go. You stole glances at the Mandalorian who waited ever so patiently for his new set of armor. Once the pieces were formed you joined your mother in her work, shaping the metal to its final form and making sure that it would function properly. When she was pleased with the pieces you had worked on your mother had tasked you with the making of the whistling birds. You were sure your joy was evident as you began to work on your favorite thing to craft. You carefully placed each “bird” in its slot before handing your piece over to the Mandalorian. “You’ll have to show me your new set-in action.” You spoke as you set the piece on the table “It's rare I get to see my craftmanship at work.” Din nodded before taking the pieces and leaving for the room he rarely used, preferring the razor crest to anything here. You could hear your mother take a breath, preparing to speak. “Don’t start.” You mumbled, causing a soft, and rare, laugh to escape her.

You’d spent the rest of your day working on the finishing touches of your own armor. There wasn’t much paint to go around in the caves, but you’d managed to find a merchant in Nevarro that had some. Youd painted the edges of your armor a pale green, keeping the design rather simple. You wouldn’t have enough to cover the entirety of your set, instead settling for hints of color here and there. Your signet you painted a deep red doing your best to match your helmet. You finished off the rest of your detailing with dull blue accents. “Let's hope your paint has dried.” Your mother spoke from behind you “Din Djarin is in trouble. Put your armor on and meet the rest of us outside” You frowned and turned to her, it had been a while since you’d been caught in a fight. “You are no longer a child; this day would have come soon enough.” Your mother spoke before disappearing. You noticed the others running by, getting to the easy exit points. You quickly slipped your armor on stretching out a bit to make sure everything fit well before leaving in the same path you had watched the Armorer take. “You may need to fight your way there, but I want you on the Razor Crest. Whatever it is your Mandalorian has found is worth fighting for he will need help keeping safe. Understood.” Your mother commanded. “He’s not my Mandalorian.” You mumbled as you made your way out of the tunnel and into the light of day, or rather evening.

The fight had already begun by the time you had emerged from hiding. Most of the fire was in the middle of the street, leaving alleyways open and mostly safe. You ducked behind cover and moved in the shadows as you watched the rest of the Tribe come to Din’s aid. Despite his earlier qualms, you watched as Paz evened the playfield before spotting the Razor Crest. You booked it to the ship, noticing another form entering the hold. Frowning you picked up the pace, only slowing when you remembered you’d need to make a quiet entrance. You weren’t familiar with most of Navarro’s citizens, but it was hard not to recognize Greef Karga. “What do you think you’re doing here?” You asked the man, blaster at the ready. “I could ask you the same.” The man put his hands up, but you knew better than to trust his sign of surrender. You maneuvered so you were further into the hull of the ship, making sure his back was against the entrance rather than your own. “You could make this easy for the both of us and accept your defeat, but you look like a hard-way kinda guy.” Karga chuckled, shaking his head “Aren’t you a smart one?” His hands darted down to his blaster but before he could get a hot off you pulled the trigger on your own, shooting him in the chest. You watched as he flew back a bit before crumbling to the ground, an all too familiar Mandalorian facing you with a bundle in his arms. “Sorry to make a mess in your ship.” You smile at him under your helm, your blaster finding its spot at your hip. “We should go.” You made quick work of rolling the body out of the Razor Crest. “We?” Din asked, keeping the bundle of cloth close to him. “You think my mother trusts you to care for a living thing on your own.” You teased as you walked back over to him, trying to get a peek at just what was buried under all that cloth. “This isn’t your fight.” He contested, trying to find a way to get you off his ship. “It is now.” You shrugged, pushing past him and up to the cockpit.

#mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #mandalorian fanfic #grogu #star wars fanfic #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian/reader #mandalorian/you #din x reader #din x you #din/you #din djarin/you #din djarin/reader

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randomfoggytiger · 6 months ago

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Scully: Lies and Self-Edits

Scully's lies and self-edits stemmed from a desire to be believed in: she wanted trust, admiration, and respect, honing her self-image to a fine point in order to earn that belief.

What I found interesting was how she self-edited her image to others particularly; and how that reflected in her relationships with those closest to her.

**Note**: Will ghost edit later.

"Agent Scully"

To her peers, to coworkers, and bosses (and even in her early friendship with Skinner), Scully maintains an edge of unbreakable, unapproachable distance. Her life is her own; and she will not be broken by misogynistic assumptions (2Shy and D.P.O. and Never Again) or blinded by personal connections (Revelations, Orison, etc.)

Scully seeks to earn their belief through respect, self-editing to cover up her personal struggles and weaknesses.

"Dana, What Are You Doing At Work Getting Knocked Down?"

Bill Scully is shown only one aspect of his sister's chosen line of work: abductions, trauma, and loss of inter-familiar connection. Furthermore, he is hurt, angry, even jealous that Dana would rather go to work and die in silence than admit her failing health to the family, who would be ready and willing to support and lift her up.

What Bill fails to see in his own behavior (and which Scully is too polite to point out to him) is his lack of confidence, faith, and belief in his sister: that her decisions-- be it getting knocked down at work or trying to adopt a little girl she's known for only a few days-- are born from rationality and conviction, not irresponsibility and emotions. He has prejudged her-- unlike or more than he did Melissa, by all accounts-- as flighty and frivolous: climbing to greatness before tossing herself off the mountain to doom.

Scully seeks to earn his belief through rationality, self-editing to appear emotionally detached and logical in the face of his (half-merited, half wildly unfair) criticisms.

"You Were Always the Strong One"

We get a clear picture of Maggie Scully's reliance on her daughter in Beyond the Sea and Memento Mori, setting up one-half of the complicated dynamics of Scully's Starbuck complex. She openly grieves, openly weeps, and openly clings to her daughter-- "the strong one" of her children, boys included. That angle would reinforce Captain Scully's expectations and benevolence to Scully's achieving, self-sacrificing nature; and Scully has always bloomed towards praise, even after her personal revelation in all things.

Scully seeks to earn her unshakeable love, self-editing her own struggles out of a fear that her "cowardice" or failure will dry up Maggie's motherly love or belief.

"Other Fathers"

In Beyond the Sea, Captain Scully is prodded to ask his daughter about her job-- the very issue that fractured his and Scully's relationship from recruitment to field work (quite a long period.) Scully buries her insecurity, answering with a dutifully tight-lipped "It's good." But when her father walks away, she slumps, disappointed at his desire to move quickly away from that fulfilling part of her life.

At his funeral, she begs her mother: "Was he at all proud of me?" And works through her feelings of shame until her closure in One Breath. Still, the question haunts her; and she misinterprets her dissatisfaction and disillusionment in Never Again as a symptom of her "other fathers" hangup with Mulder. The truth she learns then was a different one-- post here-- but the similarities remain. Always patching holes back onto the ship, never pushing the captain too far.

Scully sought (seeks) to earn his pride through being a dutiful second mate, self-editing and downplaying her break for freedom in an attempt to win him back.

"A Source of Strength"

In Irresistible, Scully reveals to Karen Kosseff her realization: she relies on Mulder. She also recognizes her desire to never become a burden to him-- as she says in Fight the Future, "I've only held you back." She breaks down by the end, but that doesn't stop her inability to freely admit weakness until Milagro, and then not fully until after all things.

Scully seeks to earn his belief through attention: is he staring at the stars, forgetting her? Running off to the basement after perpetrators while her heart is being ripped out upstairs? More focused on his pursuit of the truth than her limitations? "You didn't need me, Mulder. I just held you back" is another way of crying out "I ruined your life by turning your focus away from what was more important-- from what is more important to you", after all. Scully self-edits her limitations to keep up with Mulder, be it physically shoulder-to-shoulder or mentally toe-to-toe.

"Life Is... Just a Path"

Melissa Scully, ironically, was the only relationship that needed nothing from Dana: only gave and gave and gave, pushed and pushed and pushed for her to become better. (A powerful storytelling tool, as well as a powerful relationship; and probably why Chris Carter kept acknowledging her influence in his mytharc episodes.)

Scully sought (seeks) to earn her belief through reassurance, self-editing her weaknesses to Melissa in an attempt to prove she is fine. However, she could never fool her sister, leaving them both frustrated and persistent.

THE TRUTH

Scully wants others to believe in her.

She will always face doubts in her chosen field of work; but she's won the belief of Skinner and a handful of others.

Bill may never fully trust or believe in her motives or actions, but her father jumped at his chance of redemption.

Mulder might not always give her the attention she craves but Maggie did; and Maggie might not always understand, but Mulder will.

Melissa's impact lives on, touching her life and propelling her to resolve those unsettled issues within herself; which, in turn, shifts her focus from denial to acceptance.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #xf meta #mine #meta #Scully #Scully: Lies and Self-Edits #lies #Mulder #Bill Scully Sr.#Bill Scully #Maggie Scully #Skinner #xfiles #x-files #the x files

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xjulixred45x · 1 year ago

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Since I'm in the Helluva Boss Mood, I'm going to talk about something that I hope doesn't get me crucified.

I.ABSOLUTELY. HATE. THE .STOLYTZ.

Although I only realized this year.

If we go for the bases, we go with the bases.

✨NEITHER OF THE TWO KNOWS THE BASICS OF A STABLE RELATIONSHIP✨

Stolas was put in an arranged marriage as a child, having an EXTREMELY absent father and living in a turbulent relationship (which became abusive at times, with quiet moments but well, I don't think it would last long) with Stella. We are not told that Stolas has tried to be unfaithful in the past, so Stolas has no REAL EXPERIENCE in HEALTHY relationships to enter into one.

Blitz is much worse in this regard. He had an alcoholic father who left him in the background ALL the time above his best friend, and having to take care of his mother. He accidentally causes an accident that ends up killing his mother, leaves his best friend disabled, his sister hates him, etc.

Blitz, unlike Stolas, did have more relationships before him, but we know that they all ended BAD, especially VEROSIKA (there are even hints that she wanted to help him with his bad situation but he pushed her away) and as such it only did more harm than good .

all this without counting episode 1/season 2

Stolas clung TOO much to the good memory he had of Blitz, but to him it didn't mean HALF of what it meant to Stolas (since he already had positive things in his life like his sister, his mother and Fizz) so what? What does an adult with zero knowledge of healthy affection and ZERO experience in real relationships do? HE MANIPULATES TO GET WHAT HE WANTS.

Which brings me to my second point.

✨THE IMBALANCE OF POWER✨

If we ignore the fact that Imps are considered the lowest race in hell (because like all forms of racism, it is STUPID reasoning) even so the biggest red flag is the huge imbalance of decision-making power that exists in the relationship.

Blitz only wanted Stolas' book, HE REALIZED and what did he do? HE MADE A SEXUAL "ARRANGEMENT"(ABUSE, BC THE SEX CAN'T NEVER EVER BE A COIN TO TREAT WITH)WITH BLITZ TO GIVE HIM HIS BOOK (which HE KNEW HE NEEDED) ALL IN ORDER TO GET CLOSE TO HIM.

This is a monumental ABUSE OF POWER by Stolas! because at the end of the day he is the one who decides whether he gets the book or not (he knows it is VITAL for his work, WHAT HE LIVES ON) AND he tries to excuse it with the fact that it is a "way to spend time with him" EXCUSE ME !?!?

First of all, how the hell was Blitz supposed to realize that Stolas "loved" him if in episode one they literally had to censor everything that Stolas wanted to do in bed with Blitz? (and it's like that until chapter 6-7 where he begins to act more affectionately)

THERE ARE A THOUSAND WAYS TO INVITE SOMEONE OUT AND YOU HAD TO CHOOSE THE MOST ASSHOLE AND TOXIC ONE OF ALL. Abuse of power, control, poor communication, THERE'S EVERYTHING HERE, I'M IN CHERNOBYL!

AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST.

Just because! There are toxic relationships that are fine to show on screen, especially in this case, gay/lesbian couples are rarely put under a toxic air, so there was A LOT to take away.

but the WORST thing is how ROMANTICIZED IT IS and as if BY FORCE they want you to 1) feel sorry for Stolas/get angry with Blitz or 2) that you SHIP THEM...

WHAT

Look, I like both characters, their stories are interesting and I like their personalities. the episodes focusing on JUST ONE of them are very good, but that's the point.

✨THE QUALITY DECLINES EVERY TIME THEY ARE TOGETHER ✨

Stolas is much more likable when he's being the prince of hell who's going through a turbulent divorce, dealing with his teenage daughter who he adores, singing songs to said daughter, helping other Demon Lords (I'm looking at you Asmodeus), etc.

Blitz seems much happier being with Millie and Moxxie killing people, talking about Loona, doing his job, getting into trouble with humans and being a complete bloodthirsty.

BOTH SHINE BRIGHTER BEING SEPARATED, NOT TOGETHER.

If you ignore the whole romance thing, they are good characters, but they forcefully want to introduce this drama...

ahg....it's late, I have school tomorrow, don't kill me for my honest opinion. If I think of anything else I'll edit it.

love ya❤️❤️❤️❤️

#helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #i bloody LOVE helluva boss but i see their flass really clearly now...#anti stolitz

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poledancingdinos · 11 months ago

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Hostile Territory - Chapter 19

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 2.9K

Warnings: past injuries

Catch up: Series Masterlist

Taglist: @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @persephonepraxidikechthonios @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @summersong69 @identity2212 @liecastillo @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @happydistraction @hannah9921 @valacircareads @toooldforobsessions

Masterlist

Day 203

It was the smell of coffee drifting up from the kitchen that pulled Sy from his light dozing. He jerked upright thinking he’d missed his alarm and overslept but it was not yet five in the morning.

“What the hell?” he muttered, running a hand down his beard. Should he shave it off completely before going to see Leah? She’d never made any comments about it, unlike a few of the older soldiers who had earned the right to bust his balls.

He threw the blanket off, rising from the bed. A shower would be in order but first he needed to investigate who else was up.

Shirtless and wearing only loose shorts, he stumbled down the stairs in search of the black gold he’d missed while he was away. The distinctive sound of bacon hitting a hot pan was followed by the blessed greasy, salty scent and Sy definitely did not groan aloud as he stepped into the kitchen.

“I figured after your mother came to bed announcin’ you would be leavin’ this morning that it would be my only opportunity to cook ya a proper breakfast.”

“I’m sorry I’m not stayin’. I’m sure Ma explained why.”

“Yes, she did. She couldn’t get back to sleep with her excitement.” His father added eggs to another skillet before turning to face him. “Had to tire her out,” he added with a smirk.

Sy rolled his eyes with a smile but didn’t comment. Had he been ten years younger, he might have made a disgusted sound but he’d come to admire the way his parents so clearly loved each other even after all their years together.

“You should head back up and shower then I’ll drive ya to the airport when you’re ready.”

Sy had long since mastered the art of two minute showers so he was back down the stairs within ten minutes with his bag packed and ready to ship out. As he sat at the table, his father delivered two steaming hot plates of food and equally hot coffees. They ate in silence for the first few minutes until Sy worked up the nerve to speak.

“Any advice?” His words were almost a whisper, but his father heard him all the same.

“Whatever ya have to say, make sure ya don’t leave any room for doubt. Sometimes us men ain’t so good at sayin’ what we really mean. Oh! And don’t let them flowery movies your mama likes so much fool ya. Showin’ up at a girls doorstep without an invitation ain’t all it’s cracked up to be—especially not when that girl knows her way around a gun. Make sure you’re not too disappointed if things don’t go as planned.”

Though unconventional, that particular piece of advice was completely justified. Leah more than knew her way around a gun. She knew her way around several types of guns.

“Fair enough.”

It was almost eleven by the time Sy made it to the small two story house in a quiet suburb. His attention immediately went to the crotch rocket sitting in the driveway. He’d always loved taking the old dirt bikes out as a teen and couldn’t help but wonder if it was Leah’s or her brother’s.

His question was answered when Leah walked out of the house holding a full-face helmet and wearing a protective jacket. She froze with the door half closed, staring at Sy. Her mouth opened as if to speak but she seemed to have changed her mind when she shut it again.

“Bad time?” He felt stupid asking but he didn’t know what else to say.

“How did you know where to find me?”

Sy walked up the old concrete path to where Leah still stood. He put his hands in his pockets looking a little sheepish. “I called BJ.”

Leah hummed in understanding. She’d given BJ a few of her sketches before they left and had put them in an envelope from a letter Caleb had sent her.

She wasn’t angry with BJ. He would never breach her privacy without good reason and giving her address to Sy was not a breach as far as she was concerned. However, she sort of wanted to see Sy squirm.

“What did that intel cost you?”

Stepping closer, Sy trailed his knuckles over her cheek before cupping her cheek.

“It cost me nothing but it was worth everything.”

Leah could have sworn she felt literal butterflies fluttering in her stomach but the moment was interrupted by an alarm going off on her phone. She cursed under her breath and pulled it from her pocket as Sy stepped back.

“I need to be somewhere in twenty minutes and I’ll be gone all afternoon.” She pursed her lips, chewing on her cheek. “You umm… You’re welcome to follow me.”

Sy didn’t hesitate to accept. “Lead the way.”

Leah nodded once, locking the door and heading down the walkway towards her bike.

“Did you drive here?” she asked, looking around for Sy’s truck as she zipped up her jacket.

“Not quite. I caught a flight then rented that sardine box over there.” He gestured towards the tiny hatchback that looked like a clown car next to Sy.

Leah straddled the bike, watching as Sy crossed the rest of the distance to his rental. Realizing she’d been so stunned to see him that she hadn’t even said “hi”, she called out to him.

“Sy wait!”

Leah climbed back off the bike, leaving her helmet on the seat before running over to Sy who’d frozen at the sound of his name. He turned just in time for Leah to pull him down into an eager kiss. His surprise only lasted for a second before he pulled her flush against his chest, holding her there with a hand on the small of her back.

Leah was first to break the kiss, sporting a deep flush on her cheeks as she took a few steps backwards. “Think the sardine box can keep up?” she smirked.

“It’ll manage,” he called back, feeling relief and excitement in equal measure.

When she’d straddled her bike once more and strapped her helmet into place, Leah waited just long enough for Sy to get in the car then led them through the empty streets and onto the main boulevard. Despite her jokes, she drove safely, following speed limits and constantly checking for surrounding traffic.

Sy guessed their destination as soon as the sign became visible in the distance and his suspicions were confirmed when her blinker turned on. They pulled into the lot in front of the tattoo shop. Leah squeezed into a spot next to a custom Harley and Sy was glad it wasn’t his truck he was forced to back into the last spot at the end of the lot.

For a moment, Sy was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to be alone with Leah but that sentiment was outweighed by the curiosity of finally seeing her relaxed and in her element. A bell chimed as he pulled the door open and held it for Leah to walk in ahead of him.

“Look what the fucking cat dragged in!”

A man looking to be a few years older than Sy jumped the counter, not seeming to realize there was a perfectly good opening a few feet away. He pulled Leah into a tight bear hug, keeping her against him long enough for Sy to start getting envious before finally releasing her.

Rationally, he was aware that Leah had known this man a lot longer than she had known Sy and that she was allowed to hug him if that was what she wanted but the alpha-hole part of his brain hated that the guy had his hands on his woman.

“You should have told me you were the one who booked my afternoon, I’d have dressed up or something.” He looked down at his all black outfit consisting of baggy jeans, an old band tee that showed off his fully tattooed arms and running shoes. “It’s not every day we get to welcome home our favorite pain in the ass.”

“Hey,” Leah punched him in the arm, “I gave my name to your receptionist when I called. It’s not my fault you don’t know how to read.”

“I was off yesterday, I didn’t know my other client had canceled until you walked in.” The man finally tore his focus away from Leah long enough to acknowledge Sy’s presence. “I’m Ash by the way.”

“Sy.”

Ash motioned for them to follow him to the back of the shop where metal music was playing through the overhead speakers. Sy had never been in a tattoo shop before but if he’d had to make a guess at what one would look like, it would be exactly like the room in which he was standing.

There were six workstations, three on each side of the room. Each had a different set up of chairs and metal tool boxes. The walls were covered with framed art work and pictures of finished tattoos. On some stations there were racks with hundreds of bottles of ink in different shades whereas others had mostly black ink. A woman with pink hair and a half dozen facial piercings greeted them on her way to the receptionist’s desk.

“Leah doesn’t normally bring anyone to these sessions. She’s more of a ‘suffer-in-private’ kind of person.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Sy realized how cryptic that response had sounded when Ash raised a questioning brow as he dropped onto a rolling stool. It seemed that Sy had lost his ability to communicate like a proper human being after so long away. Thankfully, Leah filled in the blanks.

“Sy and I are deployed together. He’s my CO.”

“No shit? Thank you for your service.”

Sy tipped his chin in acknowledgement, never knowing what to say when he heard those words. Luckily, Leah and Ash immediately got down to business, saving him from having to come up with an answer.

“Iʼm so stoked we are finally getting this piece done. Iʼve had it ready and waiting for months.”

Ash rolled across his work station to the desk. After a bit of shuffling around, he held up a piece of what looked like trace paper cut into some strange shape. In purplish ink was an outline of a fantasy style dragon.

Sy couldn’t quite tell what the final piece was supposed to look like but Leah seemed excited to see the image. They immediately launched into a discussion about some technical term or another which Sy did not understand. He simply watched Leah’s face light up as she and Ash compared the purple outline to an image on Ash’s tablet.

“Okay, strip.” At those words, Sy’s head snapped towards Ash. “I need to see if this still fits or if I need to resize the stencil.”

“What, are you saying I got fat since I last saw you?”

Ash wisely knew better than to answer that sort of rhetorical question but Sy couldn’t contain his scoff, drawing both Leah and Ash’s gazes.

“If anythin’, ya lost weight since your first day on base but your curves are still killer as ever.”

Had he not been watching Leah so closely, he would have missed that cute blush creeping up her cheeks before she looked away. Ash’s brows drew together in suspicion as he looked Sy up and down but he didn’t comment.

When Leah began to remove her pants it was Sy’s turn to blush. Looking back at the stencil, Sy realized the weird shape was meant to fit her hip and thigh.

Before he knew it, Leah was left in nothing but a shirt and a string bikini bottom. Obviously this wasn’t her first rodeo. She used a hair band from her wrist to tie the hem of her shirt then she did some twisty hand movement to make it look almost decorative. Ash busied himself with pulling on black latex gloves and handed Leah a roll of medical tape.

“Use that to hold the fabric so that I can undo the ties when I work on the upper half.”

Leah proceeded to cut strips off to tape the waist of her bikini to her stomach but when she got to her back, she couldn’t get it to line up properly. Seeing Ash was busy setting out little plastic cups of ink, Sy stepped forward instead.

Wordlessly, he took the roll from her hand, cutting a fresh piece. He made a conscious effort not to let his hands linger as he traced the small of her back, securing the fabric in place. He thought he heard Leahʼs breath hitch but the moment was interrupted as Ash began prepping Leah’s skin.

Once everything was ready, Leah curled up on her side as Ash instructed and the pixi-haired receptionist showed up as if out of nowhere with a second chair for Sy. He expected to be ignored for the rest of the afternoon but Ash seemed more than happy to include him in the conversation as he worked.

Once the outline was done, Ash suggested that it was time for a break. Not wanting Leah to have to wrap up the half-finished piece, Sy offered to run to the store across the street to get them both some snacks.

Ash had said to get something that was easy to eat and would keep her blood sugar up so Sy picked up two containers of pre-cut fruit and a few different sports drinks that had spouts so Leah could easily drink while lying down.

After Ash changed his needles for the second time, it seemed the pain was finally getting to Leah. She closed her eyes and didn’t speak except when asked a direct question. Throughout it all, she remained impossibly still.

“Now I see why ya barely flinched when ya got your head stitched up.” Ash had been running the machine over the same patch of skin for what felt like forever.

A small smile pulled at Leah’s lips but her eyes stayed closed. “What’s a few stitches when you sit through hours of getting stabbed repeatedly by multiple needles?”

That was a very valid point, indeed.

“How did you get injured?”

“I wanted to experience what it was like to be a victim in a slasher movie.”

Ash looked up from his work, cleaning away the excess ink and blood. “What are you talking about?”

“That’s her way of sayin’ she almost got killed by an ax wieldin’ lunatic.” Ash went pale, his face losing all its humor. He’d no doubt never realized just how risky their job really was.

“But you’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, Sy saved my ass. I walked—well, limped—away with a busted knee and a couple stitches.”

All things considered, that was far from the worst of what their team had seen out there but those were the things no one ever wanted to speak of. It did no good to make close friends or family more worried than they already were when there was nothing they could do about it.

After the sixth hour, Ash put down his machine and declared Leah officially done. She blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the bright lights. Rolling off the table, Leah made her way to the mirror.

Using the excuse of the new tattoo, Sy allowed himself to fully study her legs. On her hip was now a black and gray dragon that followed the curve of her body to her mid thigh. On the same leg was the leshen she had mentioned all those months ago. The other hip had flowers leading down to a wolf’s head which was also in black and gray but not quite the same style. It almost looked like a contrast of nature’s good versus evil.

“I finally got to mark you with one of my own designs,” Ash commented as he pulled out a roll of cling film. “Even Niki came in with one of your drawings.”

“Niki?” Leah turned, allowing Ash to wrap her leg. “What do you mean Niki came in with my design? When did he get a tattoo?”

“Guess you didn’t have Insta out there.” He snapped his gloves off and reached for his tablet, pulling up a picture of a familiar cerberus tattoo.

Leah’s hand covered her mouth as she looked over the pictures.

“He said he got it because he liked the idea of something watchin’ over him.”

Tear brimmed eyes locked onto Sy’s. “You knew?” she asked, sounding almost betrayed. Ash seemed to think it was best if he left the two of them alone.

“I saw it in the gym and knew it was yours.”

Leah looked back at the screen, running her fingers over it. When she felt Sy at her back, she leaned against him, relishing his quiet strength. His hand found her hip, holding her as he kissed her temple.

“I’d say it had the desired effect.”

Seeming to realize she still had no pants on, Leah cleared her throat, putting down the tablet in favor of pulling on her jeans.

“Where umm… Where were you staying tonight?”

“Hopefully wherever you are.”

That put a smile on Leah’s face.

“So there’s that southern charm people keep telling me about.”

“Is it workin’?”

“We’ll see.”

Chapter 20

#captain syverson #captain syverson fic #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson fanfic #cpt syverson #cpt syverson fic #cpt syverson fanfiction #cpt syverson fanfic #cpt syverson x ofc #captain syverson x ofc

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scienter · 13 days ago

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WE GOT LIFT AND RENARIN POVS!

CHAPTER 29

“I don’t stare at him,” Lift said, watching the Azish Windrunner give orders to subordinates. So confident, yet so studious. Not a brute, like so many of the Alethi. He had thoughts. He was smart. Not so tall as to be intimidating, but tall enough to be striking. “Pardon,” Wyndle said, “but you’re staring right now.” “Do you think,” Lift said, “he likes poetry?”

Poetry? Lift has a crush on Sigzil. Fantastic. 😂

Nobody had seen him since the attack on the tower though. Probably off sleeping somewhere. He was smart, that one. Always seemed to know when someone was gonna make him do something, so he got out of there quick.

For real though – where the hell is Zahel?

“He’s married, you know.” “Yeah,” she said, leaning farther to the side. “His husband’s hot too. Seems unfair. You’re hot, you can fly, and you have a hot husband? Windrunners, Wyndle, I’m tellin’ ya. Something’s up with them. You know, I ain’t never seen one o’ them run into a wall? Not even a small wall.”

Lift has a crush on Drehy too? lmao It was only a matter of time before Lift started thirsting over the Windrunners.

Gav nodded, knees drawn up against his chest, staring at the ground. “My mother gave me to Voidbringers,” he said softly, “to be tormented and killed.”

JFC. This poor kid is so traumatized. No wonder he worries Navani and Dalinar don’t want him. Good thing Lift made an effort to befriend him.

“I’m gonna learn,” Gav said, a small angerspren pooling beneath him, like bubbling blood. “How to use a Shardblade. How to fight. Then I’m gonna find everyone who hurt my father, and I’m going to kill them. I’m gonna make their eyes burn out and then, when they’re dead, I’ll chop them to pieces.”

😬 WTF. That's a little intense for a 5-year-old.

If Moash & Gav survive this book then there’s a good chance for a Gav gets revenge sub-plot in the second half of Stormlight.

“Gram,” Gav said on the way, “what’s ‘shit’ mean?” Lift winced. Maybe… maybe teaching the crown prince to cuss hadn’t been her smartest move. Secretly deep down, she was a bit of a druff, wasn’t she.

😂 Is this the first scene Brandon has ever used the word ‘shit’ in a Cosmere book?

I loved this scene so much. From Lift thirsting over Windrunners to befriending Gav to letting Wyndle into her secret handshake. TI adore Lift.

Wyndle nodded, satisfied. He glanced at her. Then he frowned. “You’re… going to follow them, aren’t you?” “Storming right I am,” Lift said, hopping down. “I mean, I need more snacks, so I was planning to get up anyway…”

I hope Lift sneaks into the Spiritual realm with Dalinar. I loved their scenes in Oathbringer and I’ve been hoping to see them paired up again.

CHAPTER 30

WE GOT A RENARIN POV! FINALLY!

Of course she’d send a report. She still hoped, as Dalinar did, that Renarin would change his mind and agree to be king of Urithiru should his father fall. Barring that, they wanted him to be Jasnah’s heir until Gav was of age. Though Jasnah would ensure an elected official took her place, they thought Alethkar should have a monarch, even if they didn’t have absolute power.

Although we knew Dalinar originally wanted one of his sons to inherit Uritihru, I think it’s significant that Brandon chose to show us Dalinar’s conversation with Kaladin and not Renarin. He didn’t throw that in there without reason, right? Is this focus on succession simply world-building or is it significant to the plot?

“The way you look at Rlain,” Drehy said in response to Renarin’s apparent confusion. “Oh, that,” Renarin said, relaxing. It was an embarrassing topic, but at least now he knew what the topic was. “Is it… um… obvious?”

Oh, the Rlainarin shippers have waited so long for this day. It's good to see this ship finally take off.

“What do you want, Renarin?” Drehy asked. “Not what your aunt, or your father, or anyone else wants. What do you want?” “Maybe what I want,” he said, “is for my aunt, and my father, and everyone else to be happy.”

Oh, Renarin, your happiness is important too. 🥺

It’s great that Drehy is making an effort to help Renarin. I enjoy character interactions like this more than action or worldbuilding tbh.

“Those aren’t books full of facts or learning,” Renarin admitted. “They’re adventure stories, the kind written for young women. I had a whole collection, much to Father’s embarrassment.” “Renarin,” Rlain said, “I have seen how your father treats you. He’s not embarrassed of you.” “He was when I was young,” Renarin said. “But he was wrong back then, wasn’t he?”

Interesting. So in Alethkar men don’t have novels read to them? Only women enjoy fiction? Huh.

I’m fascinated with the reversal in Dalinar’s relationships with his sons within the story. Before the current story, Dalinar and Renarin had a strained relationship because Renarin was sickly and too “feminine” for Alethi culture. Dalinar no longer cares about traditional gender roles, and he is supportive of Renarin’s interests regardless of whether they conform to Alethi gender or class expectations. In contrast, Dalinar and Aldolin had a solid relationship in the past when Dalinar was the Blackthorn. But now Adolin resents his father and there’s tension between them because Dalinar killed Evi. Dalianr has yet to figure out how to connect with both of his sons at the same time.

Okay, so to summarize Renarin’s visions:

Renarin on a throne wearing singer clothing

There's a storm

Dalinar & a glowing figure stand on a clifftop as a city collapses into a pit

12 figures peacefully standing in Shinovar, including a Horneater, a Makabaki, Natans, and a blue woman with a blue skirt and white hair.

A femalen face with swirling black & red patterns

Renarian's future involves the singers (or at least Rlain).

Dalinar standing with the glowing figure (Taravangian?) is probably the aftermath of the contest of champions.

Pretty sure the blue woman is Syl. So . . . Syl in Shinovar with 11 other figures = Syl + Kaladin + Szeth + the Heralds? Don't know who the Horneater is though . . .

I think the angry femalan face with swirling black & red patterns is Ba-Ado-Mishram because she's pretty pissed about being locked up.

I really liked these chapters. The Lift and Renarian POVs were overdue and a welcome change. Hope we get Dalinar, Kaladin, and Szeth next week. Or Adolin. We haven't had an Adolin POV in a while.

#wind and truth #wat spoilers #wat speculation #the stormlight archive #cosmere #spoilers

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addaerontruther · 9 months ago

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I feel like it's worth discussing that Daeron didn't get involved in the Dance until after Addam did.

Lord Ormund Hightower had issued forth from Oldtown with a thousand knights, a thousand archers, three thousand men-at-arms, and uncounted thousands of camp followers, sellswords, freeriders, and rabble, only to find himself set upon by Ser Alan Beesbury and Lord Alan Tarly… Lord Ormund had therefore decided he could not proceed without support from King’s Landing. “We have need of your dragons,” he wrote.

If that wasn't enough to show that he wasn't with the army, it's repeated again that he didn't leave Oldtown... even after Aegon was wounded and Helaena was despondent, leaving only Aemond on the field.

With Sunfyre wounded near Rook’s Rest and unable to fly, and Tessarion with Prince Daeron in Oldtown, only two mature dragons remained to defend King’s Landing… and Dreamfyre’s rider, Queen Helaena, spent her days in darkness, weeping, and surely could not be counted as a threat. That left only Vhagar.

A few paragraphs later, Addam claims a dragon.

And Seasmoke, who had once borne Laenor Velaryon, took onto his back a boy of ten-and-five known as Addam of Hull, whose origins remain a matter of dispute amongst historians to this day.

Then he fights alongside the Blacks.

It is one thing to face a dragon, another to face five. As Silverwing, Sheepstealer, Seasmoke, and Vermithor descended upon them, the men of the Triarchy felt their courage desert them.

And then Daeron appears, clearly unexpectedly, to fight with the Greens.

Defeat seemed imminent…until a shadow swept across the battlefield, and a terrible roar resounded overhead, slicing through the sound of steel on steel. A dragon had come. The dragon was Tessarion, the Blue Queen, cobalt and copper. On her back rode the youngest of Queen Alicent’s three sons, Daeron Targaryen, fifteen, Lord Ormund’s squire, that same gentle and soft-spoken lad who had once been milk brother to Prince Jacaerys.

Fire and Blood is being presented from the point of view of a Maester that benefits from the social structures reinforced by the Green "victory" and his take is based on other men in similar positions. If one of the main Green's had doubts about their cause, there's no way they would document it. Aegon II's own brother being hesitant to support his claim weakens their cause considerably.

I really, truly, and in my bones believe that Daeron didn't want to get involved in the war because he had something else to live for. He'd been away from his family for years, but Addam was always on one of his mother's ships, and Oldtown is the number two principal port in the realm. It's beyond feasible that they met. Tessarion and Seasmoke's dance seems to prove my theory, but that's a different post.

I think Daeron didn't want to die for something he didn't believe in, and then when he found out Addam was fighting for the opposing side, his hand was forced. Jace was shot down by common soldiers, and Vhagar had already established herself as a serious threat to smaller dragons. Most of Daeron's victories were bloodless because he wasn't blood thirsty... until Maelor. But again, that's another post.

He couldn't let the war just go on without attempting to stop it before something happened to Addam. He wanted to get to King's Landing and force a peace before something horrible happened to the person he loved. And, despite Daeron being Rhaenyra's biggest threat (that's a direct quote, don't come for me), Addam didn't go for him immediately. He visited the Isle of Faces first, and whatever happened there sent him south.

In conclusion — they were in love, your honor. The Romeo and Juliet of Westeros if you will.

All quotes are presented in chronological order from Fire & Blood, Chapter 15: The Dying of the Dragons — The Red Dragon and the Gold.

#daeron targaryen #addam velaryon #daeron the daring #addam of hull #tessarion #seasmoke #fire & blood #fire and blood #asoiaf #aegon ii targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #ormund hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #maelor targaryen #my theories

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ramspatula · 4 months ago

Text

Zinnias | Lloyd Garmadon x reader | Part 6

Homeless, forced to leave the city but not alone

Previous part, Master list, Next Part

I came to a realisation as I let Lloyd lead me to the top of this skyscraper. I trusted him too much. That and he was the only thing stopping these stone warriors from killing me. He seemed to be the only thing stopping them, I could see how the other ninjas rendered useless at the seemingly impenetrable opponents. I thought they had powers? Why was Lloyd the only one using powers? How have I ended up in two situations like this in the span of 2 days?! A tug and my body colliding with another as a sword just missed me gave me my answer. I looked up to my green saviour, who looked down to check on me before leading me into the building where everyone was running up the stairs.

“Go! I’ll be up there soon!” Lloyd told me.

“But-“ He shook his head.

“No. I’ll be okay, I’ll see you soon. Just get to the roof and make sure you get on the bounty.” Lloyd told me, I looked up at the stairs but I refused to let go of his hand as I turned back around to look into his eyes.

“Lloyd, please-“ I wanted him to come up with me now.

“Ease my conscious, please, Y/n.” Something glitched, I didn’t care what. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do. I couldn’t believe I could leave him like this.

“I will come straight back down if you’re not up there within the next 5 minutes.” I told him and he nodded, I kissed the cheek of the mask before running up the stairs.

These stairs seemed to go on forever, I heard someone collapse and I turned to see an elderly woman. Against my better judgment, I ran to her and helped her up. I put one of her arms around my shoulders and held most of her weight. She thanked me endlessly as we made our way up these stairs. I was trying to be quick until I saw Jay grab the woman’s other arm and wrap it around his shoulders and together we charged up the stairs. Another women, younger, ran to the elderly woman and took her off us. I could now see how many people were trying to get onto the bounty, which was a flying ship.

“I don’t think everyone is going to fit.” I said to Jay who was next to me.

“They will, we’ll make sure of it. The bounty is tougher than she looks and bigger.” He was right. It was a lot wider than it looked. I ended up next to Kai who had a hand on his com which was in his ear.

“Everyone is on board, including Peach, waiting for Green and Misako.” He said and I couldn’t hear if anyone responded.

“Where is he?” I asked, not wanting to wait any longer.

“On his way, a satchel that has all the final battle scrolls got caught on something and they had to retrieve it. They’re on their way now.” Kai tried to calm me. It didn’t work.

“We need to get this thing moving, and soon!” Cole called out, the civilians nodded and agreement was heard.

“Not until those two are on board!” Wu and I finally agreed on something for once. It wasn’t long until we saw them emerge from the stair well. Lloyd boosted his mother or board and I watched as multiple stone warriors infiltrated the roof and tried to attack the thrusters. Lloyd looked directly in my eyes before fighting the stone warriors and getting rid of the one attacking the thrusters. We began to steer off and I felt my heart drop. We couldn’t just be leaving him? I heard Misako calling out for her son who used a stone warrior to jump on and then leap towards the bounty. Barely making it and clinging onto the side, he pulled himself on board. I’d never been so full of relief.

🪺. *. ⋆

We were in the air for an hour before we landed. That whole time I couldn’t hug or even interact with Lloyd in order to avoid suspicion. Jay told me that to which I almost yelled at him when he immediately walked away after that. When everyone had got off at and the ninja confirmed no one else was on board, I found Lloyd below deck who had just took his mask off.

“Did I scare you?” He asked and I hit his arm to which he giggled. I clung to him after and relished in the way his arms closed around me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to actually make you worry.” He apologised and I held him tighter.

“I thought you weren’t going to make it then.” I said and Lloyd leant his head atop of mine.

“Well I did and I’m here.” He told me, I tried to look up at him, making him move his head off mine. He knew what I wanted. Thats how we stood for a moment, in the hallway, stuck to each other like glue. Kissing like we needed each other. I was starting to believe we did. It’s almost how Lloyd spoke about how he felt. Through affection and touch, I knew he didn’t know how to communicate his feelings. It seemed like affection and any intimacy filled a hole in Lloyd he didn’t know how to fill on his own. He knew what to say to assure others but not himself. “This might be wrong to say, but I think I need you.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“You need me? I think I need you?” I said and he smiled.

“I think we need each other.” He told me and I played with the ends of his hair that brushed the back of his neck.

“You do more for me than I do for you. That much is obvious now.” I said, he frowned.

“You make me feel human again. You remind me that I’m Lloyd, not the green ninja. I think you might be crazy. Picking me over the green ninja when you had the choice?” He said and I laughed.

“I liked the nice boy I met over the green saviour who saved me. Greenie was funny but Lloyd makes me feel warm. Like it’s worth it. That’s not a feeling that you just come across.” I said and he kissed me again.

“That alone does more for me than picking up a sword and fighting for me ever would.” Lloyd said, the smile on my face wouldn’t leave.

“Can we go on a date after this?” I asked and he laughed.

“Of course.” He told me. “What do you want to do?” Lloyd asked and I paused in thought.

“I don’t know, just like some cheap place and then we do something fun after.” I said and he laughed.

“Well we don’t have to wait for the date for the fun stuff. Unless you want me to be a true gentlemen?” He asked and I laughed.

“I think we’re past that.” I said and he shrugged.

“Worth asking.” Lloyd said and I laughed again.

“You’re amazing.” I told him and he shook his head.

“You can’t say that to me when you’re looking up at me like that.” He warned and I smiled.

“Surely someone tells you it.” I said and his face told me otherwise. “Lloyd Garmadon, you are amazing.” I told him and his smile that reminded me of a child getting praised almost made tears spring to my eyes which almost poured out when he hugged me and rested his head atop mine again. “I’ve got it so lucky with you.” I told him to which he didn’t move. I swayed us gently. It wasn’t until he pulled us into a separate room and after a few confusing moments did I hear Kai and Jay walking past. Lloyd sunk against the door, tears were in his eyes. My heart broke for him.

I slid between Lloyd’s legs, he let me sit between them with my back to his chest. His arms fell back around me. His head fell to my neck where the now scar was.

“You smell really good.” He said, his voice sounded weak.

“It’s okay if it’s all just hit you.” I said and he shook his head.

“It’s not that… I have to fight him.” Lloyd said like it was a realisation.

“Your Dad?” I asked and he nodded.

“I have to fight and win which means I probably need to kill him.” Lloyd told me and I shook my head.

“Not necessarily! And even if so, you’re doing it because you have to. Not because you want to. Fate is cruel, fuck it.” I said and he smiled.

“You shouldn’t say that, they don’t like it.” He told me and I shrugged.

“I don’t care what they like, not when it hurts you.” I told him and he sighed.

“I am the green ninja.” He told me and I shook my head.

“You’re Lloyd.” I told him and he smiled.

“I’m getting confused. I’m both.” Lloyd told me and I smiled.

“Well I love Lloyd so you have to be Lloyd.” I told him and he smiled, holding me tighter.

“I’m Lloyd then.” He told me and I smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Good, Greenie is my homeboy so-“ he started laughing and sat up, resting his head against the door.

“I don’t have to worry about you and this homeboy, do I?” He asked and I pretended to be in thought.

“I don’t know something about masked men in green really gets me-“ He squeezed me and I yelped before laughing.

“It’ll be okay, you’ll be okay. Just do what you have to do and win, okay?” I told Lloyd who nodded.

“Will you be okay?” He asked and I smiled.

“Me? I’ll be more than okay. You should worry for how well I’m doing.” I said and he smiled.

“Seriously, I don’t know how long I’m probably going to be gone for.” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“Gone? I’m coming with.” I said and immediately shook his head.

“No. That’s a horrible idea.” He told me and I shook my head.

“You can’t stop me.” I told him, standing up.

“I can and I will!” He told me, I shook my head.

“I don’t exactly have somewhere to stay anyway! And you need me.” I said, he look bewildered.

“Exactly! I need you- alive! And stay at the monastery!” He told me, I sighed.

“On my own?! No thanks.” I told him as we now made our way down the hall. We ran into Cole.

“You’ll need masks on up there, we’re currently sitting ducks until Nya and Jay can get the thrusters working again.” He told me, handing me some form on ninja mask.

“Thanks!” I said, putting it on.

“They need you out there, big guy. There’s some heavy lifting that needs doing and I still have no powers.” Cole told Lloyd who nodded.

“I’ll be out there in a minute.” Lloyd said before turning to me. “You’re not coming with us to find my Dad, it’s not safe.” He continued, I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll be fine, I want to see what’s going on outside. I thought we’d already be up by now.” I said and he looked around like he was going crazy.

“Can you not hear me-?! You’re not coming, Y/n!” Half the hallway glitched and I turned to him to glare. These masks were surprisingly easy to breathe in. “Sorry- just… I can’t let you be in danger like that- I need a reason to come home. To fight for.” He told me and that made me pause.

“Lloyd-“ I started but was cut off.

“I’m afraid I must disagree with you, nephew.” A senior voice stated. I turned to see Wu making his way down the hallway with Misako by his side.

“What?” Lloyd asked, Wu’s eyes squinted a little as they stared at each other.

“I think it is best that ‘Peach’ accompany us.” He stated and I felt a triumphant feeling consume me whilst Lloyd’s heart dropped beside me.

“No-!” He immediately objected.

“I have already made the decision.” Wu stated, much to his nephew’s dread. “It is no secret that since Peach has entered your life, you are a new man. Focused, confident and alert. This secureness she instils in you, nephew, is exactly what you need to be able to take down this evil in your father and win the final battle.” Wu said and I almost felt like I was getting credit for something I didn’t do.

“Uncle, please- I don’t want her in harm’s way. She’s not trained or a ninja and she can’t control her power- how can she protect herself against whatever my father will be sending our way?” Lloyd asked, and it was a good argument.

“From what I’ve seen, she is quite capable of handling herself. Her powers seem to be quite active and protective. They are not of elemental origin, that unpredictability might prove useful in our ventures.” Wu told Lloyd who shook his head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe this.” Lloyd said and Misako jumped in.

“Control your temper, son. Your father will be sure to exploit it if not.” Probably the wrong person to be trying to lecture him. I felt like I was in the middle of everything even though they were arguing over me.

“I guess you’re coming then.” Lloyd said, annoyed. I didn’t know what to say back. I had gone against him and now everyone was against him.

“I didn’t mean-“ he was already heading up to the deck.

“Give him time, he is awfully protective of you.” Misako said and I nodded, pushing back the and though that crossed my head and asked if she even knew her son well enough to make that judgement of him.

“Thanks, I’m going to somewhere I’m not bothering anyone for a minute.” I said and turned away, I ignored how I made a door glitch off its hinges.

🪺. *. ⋆

After about an hour of sitting in a silent room and being filled with self-deprecating thoughts. I noticed that there was no roar of thrusters or movement at all. The ship was perfectly still and considering all passengers had been unloaded almost 2 hours ago, this was concerning because it meant we were still around those who had been evacuated. I thought we’d of left by now. And well, I had enough of being curious so I forced myself off the ground and headed towards the stairs to the main deck. My entrance went mainly unnoticed until I gathered the courage to voice my concerns.

“Why are we still on the ground?” I asked, seeing the huddle outside. Lloyd dropped part of a massive thruster. I didn’t realise how big those thrusters were. Were we in a fight? Or was he just annoyed?

“Those stone warriors managed to jam a couple swords and other things, mainly metal, into some of the thrusters which melted meaning different parts of our thrusters are now one big heroes mess so until we can replace them, we’re sitting ducks.” Nya complained, wrench in hand which probably proved useless now.

“What are we supposed to do now?! We have to get to the dark island somehow.” Kai complained and I frowned.

“I’m not even sure that’s a good idea, we couldn’t do shit to those things- why do we want to go to an island full of them?!” Cole asked and he had a good point to be fair.

“It’s true, my powers only slowed them down.” Lloyd added.

“Sorry but we’re not in much look of our defences are the green ninja who can only slow them and Peach who can beat them but not on command.” Nya said and they all sighed.

“The bounty is a ship right?” I asked, they nodded.

“We fixed her into a flying ship when we first found her, quite the technological advancement if I do say so myself.” Jay tapped the side of the bounty.

“If the bounty is a ship, why don’t we just sail it?” I asked and they looked at me with blank stairs until Nya hit herself in the head, almost catching herself with her wrench.

“It’s a boat!” She exclaimed as if I hadn’t just said that.

“We’ve never sailed her before, who knows if she could even hold up in water?” Cole stated and Kai shrugged.

“She was a ship, that was shipwrecked when we found her. She’s clearly been out in the sea before and she’s definitely a lot more tougher now.” Kai added.

“The correct proportions as well considering how effortlessly she flew.” Zane added and I frowned, did this much consideration need to go into the fact that a ship sails on water.

“So we’re sailing?” I asked and Nya nodded.

“We’re sailing!” She exclaimed. “We just needs to get her into the water first.” She exclaimed in a way that made you think the water ninja was going to get the water to come up and push the boat into water considering we’re right next to the ocean. “We need a dock.” She said. Why did everything that made sense to do, not happen?

🪺. *. ⋆

“Are you mad at me?” I asked, I’d been watching Lloyd run around doing things for 10 minutes now. Currently, he was hauling the anchor back up after testing that it still worked and was heavy enough.

“Mad at you? No. Mad that I’m not being listened to? Yes.” He told me and I looked up at him. He wasn’t looking at me.

“Seems like you’re mad at me.” I said and he sighed, setting the anchor back in place.

“You’re not listening to me.” He said and I sighed. Who let this man be sassier than me?

“I’m sorry but you look too good right now for me to fully be able to pay attention to whatever is coming out your mouth. Do you arms always look that big or-?” He turned to me, a small smile on his face.

“You’re already trouble.” Lloyd told me and I grinned.

“But look how focused you are!” I teased and he laughed, pulling me in close to him.

“Oh im so focused.” He said and I let him kiss me briefly before both smiling in our position. “What was I doing again?” He questioned and I laughed.

“Not her. Help us push this boat into water.” Kai’s voice cut in and I laughed, he rolled his eyes.

“Am I forgiven?” I asked and he smiled.

“I suppose.” He said and kissed me one last time before pulling down his mask and jumping off the side of the bounty to where Kai had disappeared to. That was hot.

🪺. *. ⋆

They got the bounty into the water safely, it was right next to a dock and that’s when I noticed Zane and Cole were back with many bags.

“Spare gis, clothes, everything that you guys put in your emergency bags! Peach, I don’t have a clue what you’re going to do.” Cole said and began hauling the bags onto the deck.

“Oh no, looks like she has to go home.” Lloyd said and I shoved him playfully.

“I’ll let you know when it’s rebuilt.” I shot back and he held his hands up.

“I’ve got spare clothes on the bounty from when we lived on it, they’re up for grabs.” Nya said instead and I nodded in thanks.

“Thank you, my stuff is currently sitting under rubble or halfway across ninjago on someone else’s back.” I reminded them and Cole’s face seemed to fall.

“What are you going to do about your whole living situation?” Jay asked and I shrugged.

“There’s a few shelters I know of. Maybe they’ll give me some sort of hand out or a different place to go.” I said and they looked at me weirdly.

“Shelter?” Kai asked.

“Why can’t you go home- to your parents?” Nya asked instead.

“I haven’t spoke to my mother for like 4 months, haven’t seen any of my family in 4 years and we don’t get along.” I told them.

“They won’t take you in?!” Cole asked, I shrugged.

“They probably would, I’m just not willing to put myself through that.” I said and they frowned. “They’re also not a big fan of the Peach thing.” I explained, they nodded.

“Do they know about your powers?” Kai asked, I shook my head.

“No. I think they’d never talk to me again, so feel free to tell them!” I joked but no one laughed, Lloyd let out a little chuckle but I think it was more at my attempt to lighten the mood. “They’ll know about my school though so I should probably expect a call sometime soon.” I said and they looked between each other before at Lloyd. “A part from that, I think I’m homeless.” I said, it hadn’t really set in yet.

“We’ll find somewhere for you to go- that isn’t some unsafe shelter.” Lloyd said, sure of himself and I smiled and nodded in thanks.

“No need for all this. Peach shall reside with us for as long as she needs.” Wu said, informing everyone of his presence. “In case you haven’t noticed, she is already making some valuable improvements to the teams. That being common sense.” He said as he walked away, I think he was referring to the fact I said a ship can sail.

“He’s a big fan of you.” Jay said and I shrugged.

“I must have some kind of charm with this family.” I said and Lloyd smirked before wrapping his arm around me and guiding me onto the bounty with his bag in hand. Lloyd’s clothes will be good too, I will definitely be wearing some of them.

🪺. *. ⋆

I did have charm with his family. I made Misako laugh so hard she almost spit out her tea onto her scrolls because I mispronounced a word. It was a tough word. And it was long. I even tried sounding it out in my head first. Turns out it was a name for some ancient tea pot. Wu spoke to me endlessly about the 4 golden weapons and the actual prophecy of the green ninja. I held onto each and every one of his words, even when he cut himself off to tell one the ninja to fix their form. We’d only been on the water for a couple days and yet I felt so close to the group already. Even if the group in question spent at least an hour a day standing on their hands whilst balancing an object. Not one of their bodies even shook lightly. I don’t think my body could survive a 2 minute plank without shaking like washing machine with a brick in it. That’s currently how we were, me and Wu sat drinking tea whilst he retells stories of his past ventures and tales of the first spinjitsu master, his father. The ninjas eyes were shut with most their faces holding focused expressions, Lloyd’s eyebrows were creased. He wasn’t meditating, he was overthinking.

“-the key to knowing when you have reached your true potential, is to have a sharp mind. Any of my students will tell you so. There are many teachings I can share with my students but they mean naught when they forget who they are or what they fight for. Do you know the best way to defeat your enemy?” Wu asked and I smiled.

“To be their friend.” I said and he smiled I heard the ninjas groan and share bewildered expressions. Thats the first time they’ve broken meditation the whole time I’ve been here.

“How?!” Jay asked.

“How does your mind even go there?!” Cole asked.

“Even if you defeat an enemy in combat they’re still your enemy. So there’s two ways to have no enemy at all, they die or you make them your friend. Your friends aren’t your enemies and if they are then they aren’t your friends.” I explained and Wu smiled.

“That’s the riddle I gave the ninja when we first took Lloyd in… when he was nothing more than a troubled boy in a skeleton hoodie.” Wu said and Lloyd smiled.

“That’s the day I learnt never to trust a snake.” Lloyd said and I smiled. The ninjas focussed back up and went back into meditation.

“Nephew, you may end your mediation and join us. The rest of you, for your disruption, another hour.” The ninja protested again as Lloyd got back on his feet and headed over.

“Do your hands go numb?” I asked and he smiled as he sat down next to me.

“Not anymore.” Lloyd said and poured his own cup of tea.

“I tried meditating once, not like that, Pearl called me a hippie and I haven’t meditated since.” I said Lloyd laughed.

“We meditate everyday, it helps to keep our emotions regulated so we stay focused in combat.” Lloyd explained.

“How did you find your mediation?” Wu asked and I paused, trying to remember how it felt.

“Weird. I didn’t exactly get the stress relief I wanted but I think that had more to do with the building full of students than the meditation itself.” I said and Wu nodded.

“Living with students can bring many deals of stress.” He said and Lloyd smiled as the other ninja fought their impulsive need to defend themselves.

“You should try again, with us, you’ll probably have better results.” Lloyd suggested and I nodded.

“I can’t stand on my hands for very long if at all anymore.” I said he smiled.

“Not on your hands, just traditional sitting down meditation with some breathing exercises.” He told me and I shrugged.

“Okay but you have to coach me through it.” I said and he smiled.

“I’m not near a master yet but I can walk you through basic meditation.” Lloyd said to which his Uncle nodded.

“Once you’ve mastered meditation, ninjitsu training will come much easier.” My eyes widened. What did that old man just say?

“Me? A ninja?” I asked and Wu nodded, I looked to Lloyd who just looked more stressed.

“If you wish to become one but ninjistu training on its own accompanied by your powers ensure protection. It’s foolish to assume that having these powers will not also bring danger.” Oh. Okay. I liked it better when Wu was freaking out the ninja and not me.

“Wow. Thats a big thing isn’t it?” I asked and Lloyd nodded.

“Knowing how to defend yourself isn’t the worst idea, especially if you’re with me.” Lloyd said and I nodded.

“You’re right… I’m going inside for a bit. I want to watch a rerun of that weird space movie you have on tape.” I said and Lloyd smiled.

“Have fun, I’ll probably join you.” He said and I smiled and held onto his hand for as long as I could before having to let go.

“The ninja will be on their hands for another 50 minutes, I suggest you make use of the limited free time you have.” Wu said and Lloyd frowned.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Lloyd asked and Wu looked ahead at the other ninja.

“48 minutes.” Wu said instead and Lloyd rushed to his feet.

I was warm. Lloyd’s body was incredibly warm. If I didn’t know him, I’d think he was getting sick. Lloyd let me know that we had about 45 minutes to ourselves and after some time enjoying that fact, we now had 20 minutes to just rest. So my head lay against his chest with half my body sprawled on his as we sat in silence. I traced his bare chest with one finger and listened to his breathing start to even out.

“You’re going to send me to sleep doing that.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“Good, you need some.” I said and he chuckled, brushing back some wet hair from his face.

“Don’t tell my Uncle this, but I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think I’d be this relaxed without you.” Lloyd said and I let his hand take mine and begin playing with my fingers.

“I’m glad I can be of some help, even if I’m here just to ease my own conscious.” I said and he laughed.

“You do know you’re not coming on the next one though?” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“If you’re leaving for a while I am.” I said. “What would you do without me?” I asked and he sighed.

“I don’t know, stress about you. Just less than I would if you were near the action.” Lloyd said and I smiled up at him. “On this mission- You’re just coming with us, okay? You’re not going near my dad or any of his goons.” Lloyd said and I smiled.

“Are you telling me to not run into potential death with those stone things or your father? Because I can do that.” I said and he laughed.

“That is exactly what I’m telling you.” Lloyd said and I smiled, leaning into him. Suddenly I could hear the patter of rain.

“Is it raining?” I asked and he grinned.

“Yep, and the others still have to be on their hands for 15 minutes.” Lloyd said with a big smile and I laughed before the ship rocked to the side suddenly and I looked at Lloyd alarmed. The rain got significantly heavier after this. A sudden burst of thunder sounded on the deck and I couldn’t help the way I jumped out of shock. Less than 5 minutes later we heard ninja yelling.

“I think we should get dressed and head up there.” I told him and he nodded.

It was raining for sure and Lloyd raced out to help his family. I didn’t dare step out into the rain considering how unsteady the boat was. Jay joined me in hanging back as the others held onto the rope that was keeping the sail hoisted.

“Why don’t you help them?!” I questioned and Jay looked embarrassed.

“I don’t have another pair of underwear.” He admitted and I frowned. Before I could properly questioned him, some star fish looking thing jumped on board by my foot. I looked up to see more of them appearing.

“What are these things?!” Cole exclaimed, kicking one off. Kai picked up one and threw it off board.

“I don’t know but if these things manage to get on us we’re going to look like Y/n after Lloyd discovered what a hickey was.” A bucket flung itself into the side of Kai’s head, by my hand not my power.

“To scoop the fish off the ship. They’re eating through the ship if you haven’t noticed!” I told him. And one glitched away from me after it tried to jump at me.

“You’re not improving the mood as much as I thought you would!” Kai yelled back at me and I rolled my eyes.

“I thought ninja had more common sense!” I counter-argued and he flipped me off.

“You’re dating Lloyd! How did you get that idea?!” Kai said and Lloyd smacked him up the back of his head.

“Now is not the time.” Lloyd told him and Kai rubbed his head before grabbing onto the rope again. Jay was forced to go help out considering the others had to try and keep these star things off the boat.

“Star Teeth! Thats what these are and they won’t stop until we have no ship- you have to get them off board!” Misako ran out from the bounty and I shrugged.

“I think we figured that one out.” I told her as I picked up one and chucked it over.

But it was impossible to keep all those star teeth off and we ended up with a ship that was on the verge of sinking. We were also stuck with using buckets to try and drain the ship of excess water. It was amazing we were even still afloat. We were all wet and cold. I was shivering badly, no matter how I tried to hide it by throwing water back into the ocean with a bucket, it was obvious. I would be surprised if I wasn’t ill after this. At the call of my name, I turned to see Lloyd at the top of the stairs to the lower deck and I nodded.

When I got to the top of the stairs, he began filling me in on what was being said about our situation at sea. I nodded, clenching my jaw tightly to try and avoid my teeth chattering. He frowned when he next looked me over. His hair had dried but mine was still damp and heavy. Lloyd raised his hand to hold my cheek causing my face to instantly relax and my teeth began to chatter. He frown deepened and suddenly the palm I was leaning against was oh so warm, I gasped and leaned into it.

“You’re still so cold,” He stated, concerned. I nodded and Lloyd brought me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. He was so warm. I clung to him, desperately. His head nestled itself in my hair. “Your hair is damp too- you’re going to get sick-“ He fussed and I squeezed him a little.

“You don’t need to worry so much. We’re all cold and wet.” I said and Lloyd shook his head.

“That’s different, we’re conditioned to endure all kinds of states. You spend your time holed up in your dorm room or robbing small stores.” He said and I gasped.

“Hey! I wasnt holed up in that dorm room alone, I think I’ve proven I can handle quite a lot.” I said and he laughed.

“That you have, however, survival doesn’t rely on that. It just enhances it.” He winked and it was my turn to laugh. Then someone called out his name and he sighed before going to let go of me but I held tighter.

“They can wait.” I told him and Lloyd laughed before grabbing my hands that were gripping the back of his gi and brining them in front of us.

“Come on, we’ll go together.” He told me and I grinned.

I expected a lecture of some sort. Instead, we were greeted with the view of a watch tower like lighthouse on a rocky island. Ninja being ninja, docked the ship and headed straight to the door.

“Do we just knock?” I asked and Jay took my words quite literally and knocked. The camera above the door looked down at us, I gave it a little wave but Lloyd just took my hand and put it down. I frowned at him.

“Waving is offensive in some cultures.” He told me and I looked at him weirdly.

“Waving?!” I questioned and he nodded.

“I wish I was lying.” He said and the door was thrown open and an old man appeared. That was not what I was expecting.

“Zane!” I wasn’t expecting that either. The man threw himself onto the nindroid and held him tightly, tears fell from his eyes as he held the man.

“Father…” Zane answered and my eyes widened. What a twist. They separated and stared at each other for a moment. “I thought you were-“

“Dead? I was for a moment.” Oh, it gets better.

“What happened?” Zane asked and an unsettling noise interrupted the man before he could answer.

“Let’s take this inside.” The man told us and quickly ushered us inside, taking one last precautious look out before slamming the door shut and bolting it excessively shut.

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