#I once had shadowheart gale and jaheira

[maddisandy]

everyone has some pretty reasonable dynamics and then there's soleil and gale

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

2 & 3 from section 1 for peri and 7 from whichever section has a more interesting #7 for diodore -moss

oooh these are fun ones!

2. Describe their tent set-up (outside and inside) (Peri)

I think Peri's tent is constructed similarly to Gale and Astarion's (boxy, fabric walls, little covered area outside). Deep blue fabric w/ golden astronomical embroidery, mostly the sort of thing you see on star maps. Little golden tassles around the edges of the tarp (?) and the doorframe. He'd have a small, circular, dark wood side table short enough that you can use it sitting on the ground, and a dark blue pillow next to it; there would be some parchment and a bronze miniature astrolabe on the table. The inside would be just. full to the brim with the gaudiest night-sky-themed pillows you've ever seen. No bedroll, no palette, just a nest that would put those cube pits in trampoline parks to shame. There would be two bird perches for his familiar Medani: one taller one next to his tent and one shorter one under the overhang. The shorter one would have a crow-sized bow-tie hanging from it. Rugs on rugs on the outside area ofc. 3. What would their character quest be titled? Why? (Peri)

This is a hard one! His tav ending involves taking over the Waterdeep arm of the Harpers, so I think his arc would have something to do with that. He'd be pretty bitter about being dropped into another near-apocalyptic mess when dealing with the last one a few years prior was supposed to be a one-time thing. Something-something ptsd in a world that doesn't have the words for that yet, something-something 'once a hero always a hero', something-something the weight of responsibility...he's a planeswalker so I think part of it would be whether he decides to stay on Toril long-term and directly help rebuild the Waterdeep Harpers or if he continues to run travel around afterwards, so maybe The Far Traveller/The Far Walker?

Harpson/Fae-son are also potential options. "Fae-son" nods to him being a changeling without it being super obvious (like Astarion's "The Pale Elf"). It would also mimic his backstory reveals from RoT ("oh he's not 'from here' so, like, the Feywild" -> "OH he's not from here"). 7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one? (Diodore)

Buckle up because we're in for a long one here. I've thought about Dora's story arc a lot because she's the first of my tavs that I truly made for the game while having full control over her backstory, etc. (versus Corentin, who had their arc baked into the story as a durge). Dora's a paladin of Corellon (oath of ancients) and her story arc as a companion would have to do with whether or not she should accept capital-r-Redemption, the process by which a drow can be truly "freed" from Lolth and rejoin the ranks of the rest of elven society. It involves all of the Redeemed drow's memories being erased and them being reincarnated as a surface elf. The implication seems to be that without that, regardless of a drow's actions, they'd be thrown back to Lolth when they die? Or at least that their eternal fate is unknown (which is the way I prefer to think of it for. personal reasons). Under normal circumstances, Dora would be a long way from Redemption being presented to her at all (she's not even 200 yet and has only been on the surface for a couple decades), but like with the other gods' Chosen among the companions, near-apocalyptic circumstances tend to speed up those sorts of things.

Of course, you'd have the themes of faith & relationship with deity when they're all unequivocally real and are also mostly all assholes; maintaining or breaking generational cycles; facing the unknown; morality when none of your choices are "good" (and how that interacts with morality vs self preservation); power vs freedom; identity outside of the people who made you; etc. The choice would first be presented to her sometime in late Act I/early Act II, likely the first long rest after the group resurfaces from the Underdark and you've probably gotten some of her backstory already. I have no idea how Larian would have characterized Corellon, but he's considered one of the more benevolent/open-minded deities iirc, which could be interesting to see contrasted with Mystra, Vlaa'kith, and Shar. How much that open-mindedness would extend to a drow, even one who has been a faithful follower even before she escaped to the Surface (and who inherited that faith from her father), is unclear. At the beginning of the game she would be leaning towards accepting Redemption, despite her own misgivings about whether or not she would still be her in that case.

Her final decision (at the ending pier scene) would depend on the relationship she has with the PC and the other companions. Her best ending, imo, would be her not accepting Redemption but continuing to be a force for good. If she has a good relationship with the PC, she would have something to lose. I think seeing the House of Mourning would affect her too. After all, the thing Corellon is offering to her as a way to find peace is the same thing the Sharrans are using as a way to manipulate and control others.

She's viscerally aware of how she was socialized and very actively chooses "good", so pushing her towards a darker path would be incredibly difficult but not impossible. If you side with the goblins she'll leave immediately, and turn on you if she's in your party when you attack the grove. But if you decide to try and control the cult in Act II, depending on your over-all actions before then and how you've interacted with her, you could disillusion her to the point of convincing her to break her oath. That path would entail convincing her that controlling the cult is actually the best idea. I'm sure there would be other times that her oath could break that wouldn't necessarily lock her into an "evil" path, especially with how Oathbreakers are handled in the game. Knocking out Minthara instead of killing her outright and letting Auntie Ethel go in Act I instead of killing her are two things that come to mind.

If she doesn't choose Redemption she would be at the epilogue party, of course. I'm a bit undecided on what would happen if she does choose Redemption. She may not be there at all, w/ Jaheira, Halsin, Minthara, and/or Astarion mentioning running into her in her new, reincarnated state. Or she would be there, confused, and mention how the PC seems familiar in a way she can't quite place. In that case, she would ask them how they know each other and mention something about feeling a twinge of grief looking at everyone, but that she doesn't know why she feels that way. It would be up to the PC how much they tell her (if they tell her anything at all).

[justporo]

Who's the goose... (1)

Finally having arrived in Baldur's Gate, Astarion finds the wrong pocket to pick - and gets turned into a goose as punishement. Peace was never an option.

PART 2 | MASTERLIST | AO3

Author's Note: This might as well have been the stupidest idea I've ever had but I couldn't get it out of my head, so here we are. Thanks for input and giving me some more stupid ideas for this to my bf, @tatterings, @bearhugsandshrugs and @the-littlest-raindrop and @megschaef98 for already cackling about it (and everyone else on that server for your love and support!); ah also Neil Newbon for coming up with this... The wonderful little doodle is once more done by the lovely @azaani-art!

Pairing: Uhm, Goosetarion(Astarion)/GN!Tav (You)

Rating: Stupid

Warnings: goose? (I'm sorry, I'm really just running with the bit by now...)

Wordcount: 3,7k

~~~

A goose sat in front of you all.

And it looked weirdly humanoid how it sat there: tiny rubbery legs stretched out in front of it and the wings too – as if it didn’t know how to properly move or place them.

The goose’s head turned around on the long neck to look at you and your companions out of its small red button eyes. The feathers on top of its head were a bit ruffled and almost gave it the look of having a flurry of white curls right there.

It lifted its stretched out wings a little. Looked at them one after another and made a small croaking noise as it did so.

That made it shut its beak again and snap its red gaze back to you.

You looked down at the goose in shock. The goose looked at you with what you presumed was shock too.

And then it opened its beak wide and started wailing with loud honks, as loud as its avian lungs would allow.

The party had finally arrived at Baldur’s Gate. And then had quickly realised that none of you had really an idea where to start your investigation. So, you had taken to walk around the Lower City and just casually ask around to find out more about what seemed to be going on in the city – especially with this Lord Enver Gortash and his newly established Steel Watch.

The day had been long and exhausting. You all kind of had forgotten how a day without a battle, killing and mortal peril was spent – just walking around in the city, engaging in inconspicuous small talk and trying not to lose your mind by getting nowhere with it – what could possibly be more dreadful than that?

Morale had already been low since the start. Halsin had very obviously been a bit unsettled by the big, bustling city, no matter how much he had tried to hide it. Jaheira had just stoically taken in the city and what had changed since she had last been there. Lae’zel had basically been gnawing on your ears with her complaints of how stupid your approach of talking to people was. That in turn had made Shadowheart almost want to choke her (again). And Wyll had become awfully silent since you’d entered the city – too much was weighing on his mind. Gale was just sad.

Karlach probably was the only one in quite the happy mood: since it’s been a very long time for her since she’s actually been to Baldur’s Gate she was just amazed by everything she saw. And she promptly called that out. Every. Single. Thing. So really not doing anything to help with the low mood of the group.

You had just tried to make the best out of it although you certainly had had to admit to yourself that the missing success of your day had been weighing on you also. But you had tried to be stubborn about it.

Astarion had walked by your side the whole day, surprisingly diligent on his part. You had felt that he was tense – as could have been expected upon entering the lair of his master again. But he had really tried to support you with your current goals – and you were absolutely thankful for that.

But as the day had grown late you had felt the annoyance rise in him too, just as much as it had within you.

It had already become dark in the city. Lanterns and the pale moonlight now had been the only sources of light. You had known that the group should’ve soon gotten back to the inn to retire for the night – despite having found out nothing today.

But you had wanted to push for one last attempt - unfortunately. And when you had happened upon a rather feisty older fellow, Astarion’s thin-stretched patience had finally snapped.

After you had tried to talk to this guy and he had only kept answering in riddles, you had been about to give up when you had noticed that the vampire beside you had disappeared.

You had feared nothing good from this finding and sure as all Nine Hells you had seen how Astarion had tried to sneak up on this man and pickpocket him.

And this had been, when things had really gone sideways – and then backwards; and down a hill.

With Astarion’s hands still in his robe the man had turned around to the vampire and looked him straight in the eye: “What do you think you’re doing there, young man?” He hadn’t even sounded awfully angry, rather a bit amused.

Astarion had simply blinked at him, absolutely dumbfounded that he had so easily been found out. The guy had watched him for a second longer with a small, suppressed smile playing on his lips and then started to whisper as an ominous purple glow had started to emit from him.

The vampire had hastily tried to scurry back, but it was already too late. An explosion of purple light had blinded you all and made you turn away with groans.

And when you had turned around again, both men standing there had been gone, only a single goose left in their place that had looked dazed and very out of place.

So here you were now: with a vampire turned into a screaming goose.

You really didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry – probably both. The wailing from polymorphed Astarion was ringing in your ears. Gods, geese could be really loud, couldn’t they?

You looked around your group of friends in desperate need for help.

Karlach had completely lost it, almost doubled over on the cobblestone street. Even Lae’zel bit her bottom lip in an attempt to not burst out laughing, covering half her face with one of her hands. But most of your other companions just looked as shocked and surprised as you.

Gale had his hand on his chin and was obviously very deep in thought – surely, he was already figuring something out to fix this mess. At least you immediately deeply hoped for it.

For a moment you just stood there. Warm, orange light from some nearby windows was lighting the absurd scene. The goose’s wailing drifted to the background for a few moments as your vision blurred and your gaze wandered miles away.

How exactly had you ended up in this ridiculous situation? Out of everything, how had all the steps you had taken led you to this night where your already traumatised soulmate had been turned into poultry and was now shouting the whole city down? Didn’t you have enough on your godsdamned plate already? Would the damned gods ever give you a break?

Your eyes started to burn and water as you stared into the void. You really couldn’t take much more.

But how many times had you been at this point? Too many already anyways.

So, you did, what you always did: took a deep breath, closed your eyes for a hot second, pressed your fingers to the bridge of your nose and tried to focus your thoughts again.

You’d find a way out of this and if not… Well, you’d find a way to live with Astarion as a goose, for better or for worse.

When you focused again on the scene, you saw how Halsin was slowly approaching the goose that was Astarion and was still honking as if his life depended on it – and maybe it did, who knew? Gale was whispering an incantation and focusing on the goose. The rest was just still standing around with quizzical looks on their faces or casually losing it and losing their last shreds of sanity.

Halsin had almost reached the crying bird, all the while softly mumbling calming words to Astarion. The druid stretched out his arms as if he planned to pick up the still screaming animal.

But just before he could reach it, Astarion saw it coming, stopped his whining and jumped up with fluttering wings. With a quickness that would have been astounding for such an animal, had you not known that it was normally a dexterous rogue, the goose got up from its awkward sitting position and snapped at the fingers of the druid. Halsin immediately recoiled and looked a little hurt.

Astarion was flaring his big white wings now – lifting them up and his long goose neck stretched out, ready to snap again at anyone that tried to touch him. At least he had stopped honking now and was just swaying his head around at all of you standing around him in a loose half circle – ready to fight anyone who would dare touch a single feather on his head.

“Astarion?”, you asked cautiously, fearing that the transmutation hadn’t altered the vampire’s mind as well. The goose immediately turned to you, a small and much more silent honk left its throat. Its wings lowered a little as soon as it heard your voice. “I know this will sound stupid given the situation, but uh, please try to calm down?”, you asked him and made a grimace while you helplessly stretched out your arms to him, bending your knees.

Astarion honked once more in a clearly annoyed tone and let his wings sink fully as if he was letting his shoulders drop in defeat.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered and felt a wave of sadness wash over you. Meanwhile the others had started to get out of their stupor or calmed themselves from their laughter. Everyone stayed clear of the clearly readily violent goose though.

You crouched down fully and stretched out your arms even more towards the animal that kept watching you intently. With no more words or honks, the goose settled down its wings and carefully waddled over to you and your opened arms.

Once Astarion was very close you couldn’t help yourself but go to your knees and reach out both your arms wider for the animal – ready to give it a hug. Astarion slowly stepped into them and you carefully wrapped your arms around the goose as it made a small honk. It sounded pretty sad and helpless and you could suddenly feel tears well up in your eyes.

You held the much smaller animal. The feathers were surprisingly soft and Astarion carefully placed his small goose head on your shoulder with another quiet honk. It was so light you could barely feel it at all resting there.

The mood in the group had suddenly soured watching you take your partner in your arms – no matter the actual ridiculousness of the situation.

You held the goose and petted it softly, until Gale interrupted the awkward silence with an exclamation.

“Aha”, the wizard made and came back out of his trancelike concentration. He looked around in some confusion as everyone watched the tragic scene of you sadly hugging the poor animal that had awkwardly stretched out its wings a little to return the sentiment – it hadn’t really worked well.

“Uhm”, Gale made and then cleared his throat to catch everyone’s attention. The group just looked at him in silence.

“By the gods, what is with the sudden graveyard atmosphere? You all do realise Astarion is not de- I mean…”, he started sassily and interrupted himself when he realised his mistake. And before he could start again, the bird in your arms had started writhing and honking again. Obviously, Astarion had opinions on not getting the same kind of compassion from Gale as from the others now.

He tried to break free from your arms, but you held him easily – he was just… a goose after all. Although, you got whacked in the face by his wings several times. “Astarion!”, you scolded him. “I really don’t think you’re in a position to be feisty right now. And I’m pretty sure he has something to share that will help about the situation you are in. And might I add, the situation you put yourself in on your own!” A bit of anger welled up in you at the vampire and his godsdamned shenanigans that had landed you all in this mess now. Also his audacity to still be sassy about it – not even being turned into a featherball could stop him from that, it seemed.

The goose calmed down, reluctantly. Its beak was still open as it stared at the wizard – probably the equivalent of the vampire baring his teeth at him. You carefully let him go and just sat down backwards on the ground. You could use it right now.

“Now, if we’re not in a poultry house anymore”, Gale continued cheerily and gave the present poultry a death glare. The goose gave a very slight hiss – at least he had retained that capability.

You waved Gale to please go on.

“Alright, it’s – as you might’ve figured already – a transmutation spell. And might I add a mighty one. I really have no idea who that fellow was, but it surely was the wrong pocket to pick, Astarion – or might I say Goosetarion”, the wizard explained in his scholarly manor and wiggled a finger at the goose while grinning – earning himself another hiss. At least someone present seemed intrigued about the whole situation.

Hearing that it was a mighty spell already let your heart sink. But Gale went on and everyone just listened intently: “The good news is though: transmutations spells can’t be held for overly long. So, I’d say we’re back with our sassy humanoid companion in about…” Gale drew out his words as everyone hung on his lips.

“I’d say twenty-four hours at the latest.”

“TWENTY-FOUR HOURS”, came back the answer in unison from almost all the companions – and a mournful honk. Your mouth fell open but honestly you were immediately flooded with relief that you wouldn’t have to spend the rest of your life with a goose – although you would have committed to that.

“Tchk, and what are we going to do with him in the meantime? Walk him around on a leash? We can’t waste any time!”, Lae’zel commented. Karlach started to snicker again, and so did Shadowheart and Wyll around her.

Goosetarion small red eyes flashed viciously and he quickly lashed out at her like he had at Halsin before, aiming for the githyanki ankle. But Lae’zel had the upper hand and quickly pushed him away with her foot – not exactly kicking him but not exactly being gentle either.

The goose landed ungracefully on its back, legs flailing in the air while it kept complaining and trying to get up again.

“Lae’zel”, you shouted but she simply shrugged at you.

“Well, what else are we going to do? Tomorrow will just be another day of walking around the city trying to gather more information. What harm can it be then? Also, it’s not like we could just leave him here anywhere anyway. Beastly as he is, but he’s still only a goose now, we need to protect him”, Wyll chimed in sympathetically. You nodded your head in agreement and the others muttered their agreement, although some just a tad reluctantly.

Goosetarion in the meanwhile had waddled back over to you to be embraced again, head hanging slightly, doing his best to look like… well, a kicked goose.

You softly stroked his long feathery neck and noticed to your amusement that his rump started to wiggle when you did that. It surely seemed he wasn’t aware that he was doing that. You couldn’t hide a grin and you saw that Halsin grinned at you and the goose too.

“Can we just go back to the inn then? It’s already super late and my feet hurt”, Shadowheart added after it had been settled. Everyone hummed in exhausted agreement.

And so you went on your way. You softly got up from your seat on the cobble road while the goose complained about the lack of caressing happening. You stretched your back and watched after your friends that had already started to walk back towards your location for the night.

“Want me to carry you?”, you asked looking down at the goose and stretched out your arms again. But Goosetarion gave a curt honk and stretched his long neck away from you in an offended manner, then started to waddle after the others.

Now that you knew that he would hopefully be back to his normal humanoid self very soon, the humorous nature of the situation wasn’t as lost on you anymore. The way the goose wiggled its whole torso around while trying to catch up with the others was a sight to behold. Especially if you compared it with Astarion’s usual feline grace. And yet he was way too proud to just accept help.

You snorted and started to follow behind Goosetarion. He heard that and swung his head around while he kept walking, making him look even more ridiculous. You snorted more. And were pretty sure you could see the small red eyes scream bloody murder at you for mocking him.

But Astarion was way too focused and needed all his energy to keep up. Occasionally, he even had to break into a sprint – almost tripping over his rubbery feet and spreading out his wings to not lose balance. It was truly hilarious.

Some idle chatter developed between the companions and you on the way back. And of course, Goosetarion was the subject matter.

“Is there nothing you can do before the spell runs out?”, you asked Gale at some point while you were careful to walk exactly by the goose to offer at least a little protection.

“Oh, believe me, I would if I could – although I have to say I’m enjoying this situation a little bit-“ (“HONK!”) “ but it is, as I pointed out before, a pretty powerful spell. And if I started to fumble with it I might make it worse and-“ (“Honk…”) “- and I guess you’d rather have him back in one piece”, Gale ended and ignored the bickering animal between him and you. You nodded in agreement with the wizard – seemed your safest bet would be to just sit this one out.

“Looks like until tomorrow you’re just going to be a silly little goose then, aren’t you, Asta-OWW!” That had been a line crossed for Goosetarion. And other than Halsin and Lae’zel, the wizard surely was not quick enough to avoid the rogue goose’s vicious attack on his ankles. Gale awkwardly tried to kick at the goose but Goosetarion had learnt from the last time and quickly ducked out of the way, rushing around you so he could hide behind your legs.

“You had that one coming”, you mumbled under your breath as Gale looked at you hurt. He walked a little faster then, trying to steer clear from the murderous bird and engaged others in conversation. Goosetarion waddled through your legs so he was walking in front of you again although you noticed that he was clearly starting to struggle

“And couldn’t you not just at least cast “Speak with animals” or something?”, Karlach took up the conversation about Goosetarion’s fate. You hadn’t even thought of that so far. You had just been too occupied with the situation as a whole. You simply shrugged because you had absolutely no idea.

“But he is not an animal”, Jaheira replied to Karlach’s suggestion in her matter-of-fact demeanor from in front of you. Halsin beside her nodded silently. “He is still his vampiric elven self, just temporarily in another form. Even if Halsin or I wildshaped into geese we would not be able to speak with him because we are at least partly beast when we turn”, the infamous druid added to her explanation. “As far as I know there is no spell to work in this situation. But quite frankly maybe we could all do without his yapping for at least a day and he learns a lesson about all of this”, she finished and gave the goose a stern look.

Goosetarion stopped and made another rather sad honk. He really must have been having the worst and most humbling of times.

You stopped just behind the goose: “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” The look Jaheira gave you made sure though that she absolutely did, but you brushed over it. You held out your arms to the goose again. However, Goosetarion again just waddled off on his own.

But the way to the inn was long and the goose was soon almost completely exhausted, probably amplified by not being used to moving around like that. At some point, when you had already slid out of all the other conversations and were just deep in your thoughts, you were stopped by another soft honk just below you.

Astarion stood before you and had spread his wings towards you, neck craned up towards you. It again looked weirdly humanoid with the way he moved and behaved. When you didn’t immediately react because you were really just very exhausted and didn’t catch on, the goose started to kind of hop in place and honked again.

“Oh, you want to be picked up! Sorry”, you replied and bent down to awkwardly grab the animal.

After some wriggling around and Astarion’s earnest tries to not writhe around too much in your arms, you were able to lift him up. He was stretching his neck and small feet out and made small noises that made you think that he wasn’t quite very comfortable with what was happening. But he gave his best to cope.

Once you kind of had him settled down on your hip, one arm around him and one under him to support him, he seemed to be considerably more comfortable, better even. When you had caught up to the others again and Gale sassily lifted an eyebrow at the goose now being carried around, Astarion made full use of his long neck to peck at the wizard’s sleeve.

Gale squealed again – much to the amusement of the rest of the group and made sure to keep even more distance from the goose. Goosetarion gave a contented honk then and refrained from biting anyone else for the rest of the way.

You were still laughing softly with the others, when the inn came into view. At least you hadn’t lost your humour so far.

(To be continued...)

~~~

Taglist: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @bloopthebat @dark-star-exe

[vibingandsimping]

Who else loves random descriptions of intimate positions?

Me, I do. I am incredibly touch starved. Anyways-

Main good route companions + random intimate positions! Pt. 1

All of you villain/evil route lovers, you will be fed soon. (I am one of them)

Forewarnings: Suggestive content, fluff and not proofread

Astarion loves to hook your leg over his shoulder as he kisses you. One hand crawling up that leg from the hip, to the thigh and to the calf. His nails trailing and leaving a tickling grace in it’s wake. You shudder at the touch and squirm a little. He relishes in that and you can feel his cheeky smirk against your lips. You gasp as he nips your lower lip with his fangs. He takes that chance and deepens the kiss between you two.

Wyll intertwines your fingers in both hands. Presses them on the ground up by your head as his mouth lavishes your neck. You can feel his breath against your earlobe and it makes you shiver. His legs trap your thighs and you’re laid beneath him as he stares at you. His gaze speaks only admiration. It’s so intense- and raw. He whispers sweet nothings as he kisses you. You’re sure to find some marks he left on you in the morning.

Lae’zel hooks her leg around your hip. You’re kissing on her chest as her fingers place upon your head. Her little gasps and whimpers are quiet- muffled. She’s trying to conceal how much she enjoys this as ever the strong woman she is. You dig your fingers painfully into her waist and she groans unabashedly this time. You hum approvingly before she takes the reigns. You turned this into a challenge.

Shadowheart loves to place her head on your thighs. No matter how small or large. You can feel her hair tickle your skin, the braid held in one hand as you run along the length of it. Her eyes are closed contently as she savors the warmth you emit. It’s almost unnoticeable the way her fingers gently creep up the outside of your thigh. Not until she’s placed her palm on it and squeezes. There’s a smirk on her face as she continues to feign innocence.

Karlach has your head placed on her chest as she lays. You can hear the infernal engine working under her ribcage. It’s mechanical and unnatural… but the heat she radiates comforts any sort of unease you have. Her hand strokes your head and neck as you bury into the soft flesh of her breasts. There’s a laugh that rocks her body, seemingly amused by how you snuggled into her. You laugh with her too, pressing a gentle kiss against the glowing part of her skin.

Gale wraps your legs around his hips and you instinctively lock your ankles together. His hands slide under your thighs towards your rear, cupping it as he holds your hips in the air. He gazes at you with warm brown eyes as he lowers his head. He plants kisses from the center of your chest down to your stomach. His teeth occasionally nip as his tongue darts out to taste the flesh. He does so until he reaches your pelvis before retracing his steps. Once he reaches your chest, he parts and meets your lips this time.

Halsin holds you in his arms as he stands. You feel weightless in his grasp, even if you’re bigger. Despite his size- people still seem to underestimate how strong he is. He kisses you tenderly as he wraps his arms protectively around you. You’re enveloped in him as his scent washes over you. It smells like forest dew and wild-berries with a hint of his natural musk. He whispers in your ear about how you’re the finest creation nature could bestow him with.

Jaheira seems to regard you almost like porcelain. She’s an older elf and it’d been over a century since she had a lover. Fighting Ketheric Thorm and surviving the curse was her purpose for years. She holds you like you’re going to vanish. Arms linked around your waist and legs tangled in yours. Her nose presses against your skin and she breathes in your scent. You smile softly as you allow the woman to enjoy your presence and touch. Your fingers tracing shapes onto her shoulder-blades as she relaxes like putty.

Minsc holds you tightly and almost crushes you against his chest. He truly forgets his own strength sometimes as he hums happily. He savors the feeling of your heart thrumming against his skin. When you squirm, he blinks and loosens his grip with an apology. You simply smile and shake your head, telling him it’s alright. He has a guilty look as he watches you carefully. You sigh and crawl up a little to press a kiss against his cheek. Like that, he straightens up and holds you again. He’s more careful this time but the grip is still firm enough to hold you against him. What a gentle giant he is.

[tcustodisart]

Because the farm is really Shadowheart's ending I was thinking, what would be Connie's post-game thing (he loves the farm life to pieces, but I was thinking, you know, if he was a companion what he'd be talking about during the epilogue party). And I came up with this idea - he writes and illustrates the very first Guide to the Birds of Faerûn. I don't want to torment you with my words, so if you're interested, the rest is under the cut. It's long but there are some additional doodles there.

About the book:

The book is basically like Collins Bird Guide. Including very detailed descriptions of what sounds the birds make.

Connie's already in touch with a publisher (recommended by Volo)

While Shadowheart does proofreading to see if it's digestible for non-bird-obsessed people, Connie's stepfather and Arnell help him with fact checking.

Connie was consulting Halsin while writing about waterfowl.

The book's dedication reads: "To my dearest wife and our four dogs, eight cats, nine chickens, six pigeons, four sheep, Daphne the milk cow, the odd little squirrel, Buttons and last but not least, our crow."

He thought that dedication was hilarious.

After publishing the book, he's been getting at least one letter every week regarding it.

Thanks to these letters the book gets improved with further editions.

He gets invited to various schools across the country to hold lectures but he almost always declines. (Public speeches aren't his thing and he also doesn't want to leave the farm that often.)(He made one exception for Gale because he asked very nicely and didn't take no for an answer).

Far in the future nobody remembers him as one of the heroes who saved Baldur's Gate. He's being remembered as one of Faerûn's best ornithologists.

Other companions reactions:

Lae'zel genuinely liked the book. So much in fact, she read it more than once.

Tara hates Mondays.

I projected on Karlach how hard it is to read books sometimes.

The scary part of the book was the birds of prey section.

Jaheira didn't even read the book, but she does a bang up job pretending she did. She's still very proud.

Shadowheart read it so many times during proofreading she could recite some parts with her eyes closed. For a week she had nightmares about geese.

Details:

Because whenever I make a drawing with a proper background I like talking about the details I put there. So:

The picture of magpies on the wall is the same one Connie gave Shadowheart in this comic. She kept it in the same book she kept the first night orchid he gave her.

That brigs us to the night orchid next to magpies. It's the same one.

There's a doodle of Shadowheart and Daphne near the window.

As references for all the feathers in this drawing I used feathers from my own collection.

Wooden duck is obviously the one Halsin gives you in the epilogue.

The bird drawings are from this drawing I made almost 3 years ago.

Oof, thank you for reading all that, here's one last doodle:

[ladyofrosefire]

fuck it, bg3 companions shower routine

Shadowheart: Shar hates self-care, but a Shadowheart does take pride in her hair, and a Shadowheart who has learned to be kind to herself can indulge. Long, complicated hair routine, very specific water temperature, and a tendency toward long-ass depression showers. LOVES a bubble bath and will make a whole event of it with flower petals and candles just for her. Will bring a book with a little book tray and a glass of wine.

Astarion: Similarly complicated hair routine. Gotta hydrate the curls, and being dead does not do nice things to your hair. Less prone to standing there staring at nothing while the horrors set in, but prone to scrubbing too hard. Similarly fond of a bubble bath, although without the book or flowers, although he will fuck with an essential oil heater and likes to make his own blends.

Lae'zel: Queen of the 4 minute shower. She has been accused of not even waiting for the water to heat up, but she likes it blistering. Does not actually use 3-in-1, thank you. Having fairly short hair helps. She finds the other companions baffling. Would get bored in a bubble bath unless she had company (rubber duck counts).

Wyll: Sings. If someone called him on it, he would be embarrassed, the first time, for about a minute. Neither wildly efficient nor inclined to standing there for ages and ages and prefers to shower in the morning. Washing his hair is a chance to relax and take care of himself, although before he has his family back, it can be a bit melancholy. He has fallen asleep in the bath before. I feel like he'd love a bath bomb and he'd love the full romantic evening with candles and flowers and music.

Karlach: Please, please someone boil her. Once she gets her engine fixed all the way, she tries a cold shower just to remember what it feels like and keeps up a running commentary about how much it sucks while also not turning up the temperature. Absolutely loves sharing a shower with someone and will also sing. Should not attempt her little jig on wet tiles. May try anyway. Someone should introduce her to proper hair/skin care because if anyone is using 3-in-1, I'm sorry, it's Karlach. Genuinely cannot sit still for a bubble bath unless she has company to cuddle.

Gale: Voted Faerun's Most Likely to Relitigate Arguments in the Shower, Even if He Won Originally. Loves to pamper himself, canonically, loves a spa day, also canonically. You simply are not getting the bathroom back for a good hour, although not all that time involves running water. Plays around with different products and researches the living hell out of everything. Loves a long soak. The only person with a feline in their house to ever bathe in peace. Constantly torn between wanting a book with him when he has a bath and not wanting to get the pages steamy and damp, much less actually wet.

Minthara: Her ideal hair wash involves someone else doing it for her while also having the utmost certainty that the person will not attempt to murder her. If her partner washes her hair for her, she turns into a puddle. She has an incredibly specific lineup of products. If she shares, understand that she has bestowed upon you a great gift. More about bath salts than bubbles and could be persuaded to a sufficiently elegant bath bomb (it would not be a difficult check).

Halsin: Low-flow showerhead user. Hell, he might be the kind of person to turn the water off entirely when not soaking/rinsing out his hair... However, he is not immune to the "shower together to save water" line even though he KNOWS it doesn't work that way. He needs low-scent soaps/etc considering his heightened sense of smell. And listen, this man does not fit in a bathtub unless he goes somewhere special or finds a particularly large one. He made everyone floaty ducks, properly sealed against water damage, and he has one for himself that holds his soap.

Jaheira: Understands that having a chair in the shower is just being kind to yourself and proceeds accordingly. Will revisit arguments she had that day, but despite that has a quick and fairly simple routine. She needs the water pressure to pound the everloving hell out of her back. Loofa on a stick user. Like Wyll, she has fallen asleep in a bathtub, in part thanks to having and using a bath cushion. Truly, the expert on bath-based comfort.

Minsc: Also sings in the shower. LOUDLY. Boo is allowed to sit a shelf out of the way. The best way to get him to use lotion is to give him something that smells yummy. He has similar problems to Halsin regarding fitting in bathtubs. He tries anyway. He has been banned from at least one hotspring for doing a cannonball.

[sorcerous-caress]

So fun fact about me irl I work with children but often my teacher language slips out like telling my friends to say “bye bye bus”, telling another person in my lecture writing to “be nice to the pencil, it’s your friend.” And greeting a roomful of grown as adults with good morning boys and girls. It’s mortifying but How do you think the companions would react to having a teacher!tav slip up like that.

Dealing with a Teacher Tav

[Bg3, fluff, platonic kinda, nb!reader]

[Gale, Shadowheart, Laezel, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc]

Gale

He delightfully plays along whenever you tell him to thank a stranger or say goodbye to an inanimate object. He thinks it's very silly and joyous.

Teachers have always been a big part of his life, it doesn't phase him in the slightest when you unawarly awake the deep memories of being in wizards pre-school for him.

Says good morning to you back, adding a teacher honorific at the end for the sake of being playful while asking if you've finally graded the homework he handed in.

He gives you an apple occasionally. He thinks he is very hilarious.

Shadowheart

She freezes in awkwardness whenever it happens, not sure if you’re being serious or just playing around. Sometimes, you don't even register slipping up as go on with your day, leaving her wondering if she's imagining things.

She has zero experience with the school system, completely confused by the need to say thank you for carriage after it arrived. It's just a carriage, why should she?

One time while her and Laezel were arguing, you used the same call you'd use in the classroom to get the kids to quiet down and it completely caught them both off guard. They just stood there baffled, forgetting their original argument.

Laezel

Why, yes, she is very familiar with teachers. In fact, she was the best out of her class, ask any githyanki teacher, and they'd tell you endless praise about her throat cutting techniques and sword welding stances.

You, whoever, use very unusual teaching techniques. How would learning a song about washing your hand and brushing your teeth help her in slaying her enemies?

Intriguing, so you take advantage of the brain's tendency to latch on to phrases that rhyme, which makes them easier to remember? And you encode your melodies with instructions to embed them into the impressionable youth?

Huh. She actually is impressed. She made her decision, you will lend your teaching skills to help her embed the most effect way of fracturing someone's spine into a melody to spread to the githyanki children.

Wyll

As someone who has been an unofficial teacher for so many kids throughout his years, he can relate to your struggle a lot. He slips up more than he cares to admit.

The both of you meeting early in the morning while still groggy and tired, your brains working on automatic mods as you greet each other with the same high pitched enthusiastic voice you use to greet a toddler.

Then just stare at each other, complete understanding between the two of you. Like two people accidentally using their customer service voice in front of the other.

You struggle to tie your boots once, and he unconsciously bends down to tie them for you while using the rabbit loop euphemism, only to stop in his tracks as he realises what he's doing.

He uses a curse word once, and you immediately use your teachers voice and say, "we don't speak like that here, that's wasn't very nice."

You're both tired, you both need a nap and neither of you brings it up when the other slips.

Karlach

Much like Gale, she finds it extremely amusing. Top tier comedy to her. Unlike Gale, she hasn't been to any proper schooling system, so she doesn't exactly know what most of these phrases mean or imply.

In a way, it lets her pretend she was a part of something like a school in her youth, like she could've had a normal childhood like everyone else.

She'd indulge you, saying goodbye and thank you to the pigeon that delivered her a letter, or overhearing Wyll's rabbit loop ryhme and whispering it under her breath as she ties her own boots. Who knew this could've been so easy?

Astarion

You remind him of how Leon was with his daughter back in Cazador's manor. Astarion never was close with any of them, but still, he sometimes overheard him attempting to give his daughter a semblance of a normal childhood and growth.

It's endearing when you accidentally use your teaching ways while dealing with the owlbear cub, but he'll never admit it.

Doesn't indulge you with it, he has appearance to keep. Well, unless he has a chance to twist your innocent meaning words into a sex or gorey joke like the 12y old humour that he has.

Ah, the scrowl on your face is the exact same one Leon had around him, such fond memories.

Halsin

Ah, you bring him back to his old days of having to deal with the children at the grove. Although his methods focused more on showing them that nature is a friend rather than inanimate objects.

But who is he to judge your ways? If anything he could learn a thing or two from you to add to his skillset.

Tells you about the fables that were passed down from elf to elf throughout the generations, animal stories have always done a great part in teaching him morality.

Do you happen to have any? Maybe you could tell it to the children of the grove, they are good kids.

Minthara

As a noble, she was only given the best and most prestigious of teachers while growing up. Even the ones that weren't a drow would still be considered the best of the best, crème de la crème.

Yet not a single one of them applied such...childish methods. etiquette and discipline were taught by the lash and threat of punishment, not lullabies and gentle guidance.

....it's not as bad as she imagined.

She doesn't get why some of your companions find it amusing. She doesn't bother indulging either.

But sometimes, sometimes, when it's just the two of you, and she is sure not a single soul is around, she will reply with a pun with the most deadpan face expression you've seen.

Jaheira

Despite what most would think, she actually integrated the same methods into her teachings back when her kids were little, it just happened to be weaved with her more dangerous lifestyle ascept.

Here comes the plane, with the airplane usual holding a good dosage amount of poison to build resistance.

A short rhyme about what to check before leaving the house, except the list has a suspicious amount of daggers and trap disarm kits in it.

If it works, it works, so what if she had to alter a kid's book about a honey loving yellow bear into one with decipherable texts to teach them Harpers' secret communication language.

Minsc

Ah! Boo does use the same method on him sometimes, the two of you have a lot in common. Although Boo's methods do involve a bit of biting every now and then.

Say, how about he teaches you some fables from Rashemen, a lot of them are about a rabbit who got lost after not listening to his witch frog companion.

You could use it in your teachings later! Show the youth the importance of good teamwork. Yes, he is aware of the fact he didn't listen to Jaheira and got captured by the cult. No, he doesn't see why this is relevant? Why is Boo suddenly agreeing with you? He is supposed to be on his side.

[tragedybunny]

I Should Tell You - Chapter 1

༺Summary༻

In a fit of guilt, Astarion tries to confess his deception to you. At the last moment, he loses his nerve and ends your relationship with another lie. He's resigned himself to having lost his chance with you forever when once again everything changes. With the two of you out on your own, will he be able to take a chance and tell you everything, and will you forgive him when he does?

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Female Reader

༺Warnings༻ Sexual references

༺Word Count༻ 1888

Astarion was, well, he was loath to admit it, but he was brooding. He’d taken up a private room at the Elfsong now that everything was over, one where he could keep protected from the sun while the rest of his companions, yourself included, lived their lives in the light of day. Slowly, condemned back to the shadows, locked in his room with drapes drawn tight against the burning daylight, he’d drifted further and further away from the group. Culminating in tonight, where he had one perfunctory drink at the farewell party and slipped off away from the group to hide out amongst his books and the shadows of his mind. 

For the last several weeks, everyone had put their all into assisting Baldur’s Gate in starting to rebuild. Those who were left anyway, Wyll and Karlach were in Avernus, and Lae’zel was off to wage war on Vlaakith. Now those who were left would be parting ways as well, Shadowheart to see the world, Gale back to Waterdeep, Jaheira and Minsc to rebuild the Baldur’s Gate Harpers, and you and Halsin…hells, he didn’t want to know. 

If he were being honest with himself, which felt like it was to be avoided these days, there was more to his self-imposed exile than returning to a nocturnal life. Seeing the two of you together made it feel like a dagger was shoved between his ribs and playing around with his insides. 

And the worst part was, it was all his fault. He couldn’t be mad at you or the infuriatingly perfect Druid. Well, he shouldn’t anyway, he still found himself wanting to shred Halsin’s throat with his teeth every time he pulled you close and kissed you like you were a goddess he was paying worship to. He’d done it to himself though, weaving a web of lies and manipulations so dense he’d trapped himself while you slipped through, unscathed. 

That web became too entangled with the way you’d stood firm against that Drow, for him. You’d seen him as a person, and he’d repaid that by seeing you as a pawn. At least at first. By the time you shouted at that vile creature on his behalf, he’d become so hopelessly lost in the strands of feeling that had grown and wrapped around his heart, he knew he had to give up the plan, and give you the truth, even if you hated him for it.  

As soon as your group had made camp that night, not far enough from the shadows of Moonrise Towers for anyone's comfort, he'd made his way over to you. “I want to thank you,” he’d started, sure of his course. “For what you said whilst in front of that vile Drow…

“...You made me realize I never stopped thinking like his slave.” He drew in a breath, despite the fact that he didn’t need it, and froze. Patiently, you stared up at him with that affectionate look you always had, giving him space to collect his thoughts. You, the fount of warmth and sweetness he didn’t deserve, the love he couldn’t hope to keep. Frantically, he willed himself to speak, to tell you what you needed to know, no matter the consequences.

“And I realize I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship.” The words had spilled out of his lips before he could think them through and he watched as your eyes widened in hurt. 

“Gods no, what the fuck are you doing,” he cursed himself, but still the words came. 

“Being with someone still feels tainted, I need to figure out who I am, what I want.” Finally, he’d bitten down on his own tongue to stop the tide, but the damage was done. 

Those loving eyes of yours sparkled with tears, but that composure he’d begrudgingly come to admire since he met you held firm. “Is this really what you want, Astarion?” 

“No, no, no. I want you, I want it to be real.” If he gave you the truth and you sent him away, he couldn’t bear it. At least this way he could salvage your friendship, still bask in your light from time to time. The excuse was flimsy, even to himself, but he’d been a liar from the start. 

“I think it's for the best, I'm sorry.” Twice, he’d lied to you, twice, there would never be any coming back from this. “Please don't be mad at me.”

You stepped forward and he instinctively came close to cowering away. But you weren’t intent on harming him, instead wrapping your arms around him in a gentle embrace. “I think I understand. I’m not mad if this is what you need.” 

Your arms felt as though they were crushing him, their touch burning his skin. The urge to pull away and flee was almost overwhelming. But you deserved this one last bit of comfort. “Thank you,” he murmured, resting his head on your shoulder, breathing you in, and resigning himself to a life without this.

After you finally pulled away, you went to his tent and packed your things, leaving to set up on your own and let him endure the night without you at his side. There was a time when he’d never believe his own space could feel so empty. Back in the spawn dormitory, he would have given anything for this solitude. Now it was wretched. And so his first night alone was passed in miserable resolution, and when the day dawned, he went on as though all was right. 

It wasn’t lost on him that you would eventually find other companionship, you were attractive, witty, brave, and immensely caring. And from what he’d seen, you certainly weren’t interested in a celibate lifestyle. That line of reasoning still didn't prepare him for the night the group camped outside Rivington. 

Astarion had just returned from a hunt, the blood of a rabbit fresh on his tongue. It wasn’t you but he hadn’t dared ask to touch your neck after everything, electing to spend his trance hours dreaming of those moments between you instead. It was better than the nightmares of Cazador and his tortures at least. As he’d crept into the circle of ruined buildings that camp had been set up in, he stopped short, the world feeling as though it was closing in around him. 

You were talking to Halsin, who held one of your hands in his, and somehow, even with his ridiculously large hands, delicately brushed a strand of hair behind your ear with the otherl. Time slowed and Astarion felt as though the blood in his stomach might make its way back out of his mouth. 

In the dim firelight, the stars gleaming without a cloud to obscure them, Halsin kissed you. Softly, slowly at first, and then his hands wandered to your hips to pull you in as he deepened it. Your hands came to rest on those broad shoulders and instead of pulling away as Astarion desperately hoped you would, you leaned into it, eager and wanting. He wasn’t close enough, but Astarion could swear he heard the little moan you probably made. The same sound you used to make for him. 

Halsin stared down at you after breaking the kiss, no doubt with naked lust written on his face, and offered you his hand again. And that was the that, the two of you began to quietly walk away from camp while Astarion fled to his tent, crawling into his bedroll and desperately choking down the sobs that threatened. 

It had been bound to happen, but how soon, was what burned from the inside out. Just like that, you’d forgotten all about him, as though he hadn’t mattered in the first place.  How dare you. He tried to summon anger with you, to wash away the pain. It was a betrayal, he had every right to be angry. You waited for no time at all, you moved on so easily, you…you just forgot he loved you. 

Not that he’d ever said it, but you must have known. The bedroll was even colder than usual as Astarion clung to the one object he found comfort in. Kept secreted away amongst his things, a shirt of yours he managed to pilfer before his botched confession. By day, it was tucked in his pack, and at night it filled his bedroll beside him. Pulling it into his arms, he inhaled what was left of your scent on it, and buried his face in the pillow to weep bitter tears. 

He emerged the next morning into daylight that no longer held the promise it had so recently. Almost immediately you ran to him, taking your arm in his, giving him a moment of foolish hope. If things had gone badly between you and Halsin, he would rectify his mistake and tell you everything, he privately swore. 

All it took was one look in your eyes to know that hope was in vain. “Astarion, I need to tell you something, and I wanted you to hear it from me first.” You led him away from the rest of the group, almost to the spot where he’d seen you with Halsin. The rest of your companions pretended not to notice the obvious personal moment occurring a stone's throw away from them.

It was a good thing he'd cried every tear he had last night. “Well go on Darling, don't keep me in suspense,” he plastered on a grin. 

“The thing is,” you look everywhere but at him, “Halsin and I, well, things happened between us last night, and I think I'd like to pursue whatever this is. It just felt right to tell you first.”

Astarion laughed, a hollow sound to his own ears, but convincing enough for you, it seemed. “My Dear, you were worrying yourself about this? Don't vex your pretty little head like that, I don't begrudge your need for intimacy. Even if I fail to understand the appeal of a man who's always going on about enjoying the freedom of nature's gifts.”

“Astarion,” you scolded, but a subtle smile told him you were relieved. “Behave yourself.”

“Let me have a little fun at your expense.” He disentangled his arm from yours, its warmth suddenly smothering. Taking your hand, he kissed it gently. “I'm glad, you deserve to be happy.” That part he did mean, even as he reviled how it was happening. “And I'm sure you and Halsin will be. Don't worry about me.”

“Please worry about me. Can't you see how I'm bleeding?”

Leaning up, you kissed his cheek, with all the gentleness in the world. “Thank you, Astarion, I'm glad you understand, I'd never want to hurt you.”

From that moment on, you were Halsin's and Astarion had to grin and pretend to be happy for you. That's what friends were for and you insisted you two were friends. The two of you seemed so disgustingly infatuated with each other, he wanted to scream at times. So naturally he'd assumed you'd be happily headed out on some grand, romantic journey together. 

Which was why it startled him to nearly a second death when you burst into his claimed sanctuary, clearly distraught and slamming the door behind you. “I'm sorry… I can't be in there,” you gasped out between sobs.

@micropoe10  @writingmysanity @mxxny-lupin @azu21

Tag List:

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@bambamwolf87 @fayeriess @lumienyx @lisrelly

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[petit-etoile]

Congrats on 200 followers! :D For drabble ideas, how about one where Tav is becoming overwhelmed from being the leader of their group and they end up having a bit of a breakdown in camp, so Astarion whisks them away and dotes on them for the evening to help soothe some of their worries.

i  am  tired  of  being  brave

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount:  1,036 content warnings: none other tags: canon compliant, introspection, character study, idiots in love, established relationship, gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils,@8-opossums, @worryknotdear, @abirdaboxandachippedcup, be added to the taglist here

summary: All you want is to get away from everything. Astarion indulges you.

‘Enough!’ you shout.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart have the decency to look properly chagrined when they peer over at you, frozen as if turned to stone. Shadowheart’s knife dips underneath Lae’zel’s chin, but the pretense of applied pressure goes away. You have no idea what hour it is or how long they’ve been going at it but the little patience you have snaps like a fine thread.

‘We have only gotten this far because we trust each other,’ you snap at them, pulling your nightshirt tighter around your shoulders. ‘But if you want to ruin that, leave me out of it!’

In what is likely the silliest mistake to make, you turn around and march to your bedroll to pick up your hunting knife and then march beyond the outskirts of camp  —  beyond Halsin and Jaheira and Gale and Wyll and Karlach, and Withers who seems to be musing over the situation with faint interest.

If Shadowheart and Lae’zel want to fight to the death, let them! You’ve done all that you can to get the group this far. You’re tired, you’ve been woken up two nights in a row, and you’ve had it with the drama.

You plunge yourself through the nearest bush you can find and sit next to running water, your arms pulled across your chest to keep the breeze from chilling you to the bone. You’re miserable beneath the moonlight. You can’t remember the last time you’ve slept more than four hours.

You almost doze off in the underbrush beneath a tree, but then there’s a hand sliding over your mouth and a body behind yours, somehow wedged behind you once your eyes closed. You gasp and try to reach for your knife, but Astarion tuts and continues sliding between you and the tree. It would be annoying if you weren’t relieved it was him. You relax back against him despite the feeling that your heart is going to leap out of your throat.

‘You shouldn’t fall asleep in the woods,’ Astarion warns you. ‘There are terrible beasts that have made this place their hunting ground.’

You shiver. ‘I didn’t mean to fall asleep,’ you say. ‘I just needed to get away.’

He hums. ‘Did something happen back at the camp?’

It doesn’t do any good to keep secrets, and your other companions had already witnessed it. You tell Astarion about Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s never ending fight. It doesn’t make sense to keep attacking one another, especially since the Artefact is the only reason the worms haven’t burrowed deeper into your skulls. It wears you down every day to keep making decisions for everyone when there are people with better experience. Everyone looks to you no matter how much you wish they’d look elsewhere. You never wanted this fellowship to hang on your every word. You just wanted allies.

‘It’s hardly fair,’ Astarion agrees. ‘To have the weight of this…Absolute sitting on your shoulders. I can’t imagine what it must be like to wrangle us all into cohabitation.’

‘Some discomforts are easier to resolve than others,’ you say. ‘It was easy making everyone throw their stakes away.’

‘I’m fairly certain Wyll kept his,’ Astarion snorts.

‘Yes, but he doesn’t wake us all up holding it at your neck,’ you say, elbowing him. ‘They don’t have to become friends or lovers or anything of the sort. They just have to get along until we arrive at Baldur’s Gate.’

Baldur’s Gate still seems so very far away. Acknowledging this drags you down more than you wish it to. You’re tired of walking and fighting and lying your way out of every other conflict. You miss your family and your life before the worm. The only good that’s come of it is Astarion. He lets you lounge on him when you please in exchange for some blood, and…

It’s more than that.

Astarion lets you do whatever the hell you please as long as it doesn’t annoy him. You’re free to nap in his tent or sit at his side while he reads, and he’s even allowed you to style his delicate curls with pomade. He lets you kiss him if you ask, holds your hand. If you asked him to kill someone for you, you’re certain he would without question.

Reluctantly, you sit forward. ‘I should probably head back,’ you admit. ‘I should make sure everyone is still alive.’

‘To the hells with it,’ Astarion disagrees. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back. ‘You close your eyes and sleep. Let them come looking for us if it troubles them that much.’

‘And if Shadowheart kills Lae’zel?’

‘I’m almost certain Lae’zel would win,’ he says. ‘But, I have no doubt they’ll behave. You, on the other hand, are being naughty.’

You laugh but you do as you're told. You worm further in the roots and lean back against him. It’s chilly, but having someone else there does wonders for how willing you are to fall asleep. It’s almost nice how secluded you are away from the drama and stress. You almost wish you were a vampire so that you could sneak out and use hunting as an excuse.

The respect for all you do is nice. Sure, Halsin and Jaheira have both commended you for how hard you work for your age, but it isn’t the same. You still stand in the middle of camp trying to handle things on your own. The planning, the decisions. They somehow fall on your shoulders. A little more input would be nice, or a sign from a god that you’re doing the right thing. You try not to think about it as you feel sleep edge toward your consciousness. Astarion hums softly in your ear, and though it’s uneven, you can’t help but think it’s so off-tune that it’s lovely.

You yawn so hard your jaw pops, and Astarion hushes you, kissing idly behind your ear. It lulls you into an ease you haven’t experienced for a while. You melt into the touch. If you could purr, you would.

‘This,’ Astarion says, ‘is what you deserve. To relax here in my arms. Sleep now, and we’ll deal with what shall come in the morning.’

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Sunwalker

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 2.2K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, near death experience for y/n, Astarion crying, companions featured!, visiting Avernus (yikes), the Underdark, guilt, fear

--------------------------

Astarion smoothed his thumb over the ring on your finger. No matter how long you had been married it was still as if you had just said “yes” to him. 50 years have passed since the elder brain. 40 of which you have been married for. And every day you woke to those scarlet eyes and fell in love all over again. You remained yourself, Astarion never pressured you to turn into a vampire like him. He knew the loneliness it could bring and he didn’t want that for you. You managed to cultivate an elixir that froze your mortality. It nearly cost you your soul to get all the ingredients, most of which you had to beg, borrow, or just flat out steal from some very prominent gods. But you did it. You froze your aging, remaining as young and beautiful as you were when Astarion met you. 

You watched the glow peer through the sheer curtains, leg thrown over Astarions waist as he held your waist in his sleep. Holding you close as always. You looked out into the Underdark, the strange landscape had been your home for quite some time. Beautiful as it was, you missed the sun. The fresh air, the occasional breeze. You never let onto it, knowing Astarion would spiral, envisioning himself as some sort of leech who kept you trapped with him. You would trade the sun for him any day. But still, the heart longs for things it once knew so well. 

“Your face will get stuck like that if you frown any harder.” Astarion whispered. 

You looked up at him, his eyes were closed still, the ever perceptive bastard. “Bad dream.” you mumbled as you relaxed your face, snuggling into his chest. 

“Tell me?” he asked while gently massaging your scalp.

“Sleepy…” you said with a yawn before kissing his chest.

“Then sleep my love, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

-------------------------------

You awoke feeling refreshed. Your house was still bathed in darkness. You had grown accustomed to this, but still, sometimes you missed being greeted by the golden rays of the sun. 

“Darling,” you started as you stretched your rigid limbs, “I was thinking… Maybe we could go to the surface for a few days? Gale has been begging to see me ever since we moved to the Underdark. I miss our friends. And Jaheira isn’t far off from Waterdeep. Neither is Shadowheart. And I’m sure Karlach would slip away from Avernus for a bit if she knew everyone was top side.” you picked at your nails, you hated talking about the surface. You alway wondered if it made Astarion feel bad.

Astarion kissed your forehead before pulling you up so you could be eye level with him. “My sweet, you may go to the surface whenever you wish, you know that. But… somebody has to stay with the spawn. Especially the younglings, they’re still so unpredictable.” his eyes held a sad look. He would never admit it, but he missed your companions too, even Gale. But he knew what he signed up for when he released them. He kept balance between he spawn and the Underdark’s natural inhibitors; drow, myconids, duergar, etc. 

You let out a small sigh, “Only a few days, I swear it.” you kissed him, thumbing over his cheek as you held his face. 

He leaned his forehead against yours, “I know, you can’t live without me.” he said with a smirk but you could hear it in his voice. The waver that held uncertainty. He knew you loved him, but it is so easy to leave and never return. 

------------------------------

You opened a portal early in the morning. You left Astarion a jar of your blood on the kitchen table along with a little love note. He knew you were leaving early, giving you a small kiss before he watched you go. 

The sun was blinding and took your eyes several minutes to adjust. The soft glow of the Underdark didn’t compare to the ball of fire in the sky. It almost felt oppressive. However - feeling the warmth on your skin, the wind in your hair, the smell of the grass. Gods how you missed it all. You ran your hands through the  tall grass as you walked towards Gale’s tower you saw off in the distance. 

He captured you in a bone crushing hug as soon as he saw you. “Y/N! My dear friend, how I’ve missed you.” he said fondly. “Come, come! Everyone is inside!” 

As promised everyone was inside, even Lae’zel. You hugged them all, holding each of them a little longer than normal. God’s you missed them all. Everyone looked just the same, a few new scars and wrinkles here and there, but the same. Gale had managed to pull something off similar to you, ingesting dark fire to keep his soul bound to this plane of existence thus his body remained as well. 

“No Astarion?” Karlach asked with sadness evident in her voice. 

Your friends all looked at you sympathetically, “The spawn… they need him. And the sun… tends to be an issue.” you said with a slight laugh, trying not to bring the mood down. 

“Did you never find the Sunwalker’s ring?” Shadowheart asked.

“Our leads stopped years ago… we made a home in the Underdark. It’s not so bad, we never get sunburned.” you shrugged with a lopsided smile. 

Your friends nodded, quickly changing the subject as they noticed your mood dropping. You talked, drank, ate, and laughed. It felt identical to when you traveled together, regaling each other with new and old stories. Eventually though, bedrolls called to everyone. 

You looked out the window of Gale’s tower. You had almost forgotten about the moon. You felt a pang in your chest, you missed your husband. You twisted your wedding band around your finger, trying to feel close to him in the dark. 

Gale walked up to you slowly “Missing someone?” he said as he passed you a chalice of wine. 

You smiled softly, “You only get one great love in life… it hurts to be away from him.” you said looking into the deep red of the wine. 

Gale nodded in understanding. “If I may, I might know of another way.” 

“Way for what?” you said with a confused look. 

“A way for Astarion to walk in the sun again.” he said, his eyes shining with hope.

Your eyes widened, “Go on…” you said.

“In Avernus, there is something called “The Eternal Pit "; it is a hellish void. A portal really. To a realm of the unknown, but if you survive it, those who have returned alway return with their hearts desire.” Gale said with excitement. 

“I’ll do it.” you said immediately, “Now, we go now.” you said as you jumped down from the ledge of the window. You rushed to Karlach’s room, knocking lightly before you rushed in. She laid on her bed, resting but her eyes met yours as soon as the door opened. 

“Hello?” she said with confusion on her face.

“I need you to take me to The Eternal Pit.” you said quickly.

Her face was dripping with shock. “I’m sorry, what? You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack.” You said sitting on the bed next to her. “Please, it’s the only way Astarion can walk in the sun again. He deserves it, Karlach.” you begged, your eyes becoming glassy. Your lover deserved the world, and you’d do anything to give it to him. 

She sighed, her eyes searching yours. “I have a feeling you’ll go with or without me… fine.” she sighed.

She started to put her armor on. You dawned your mage armor along with your simple chain mail. “After you.” she said, opening the portal back to Avernus.

----------------------------

“As requested, The Eternal Pit.” Karlach said, cringing as she looked into the swirling black void in the center of the burning, abandoned monastery. 

Your gaze never broke from it, “If I don’t return…”

“Don’t” she said sternly.

“If I don’t… tell Astarion I’m sorry for leaving him alone… I just wanted to give him everything he deserved. And that I love him more than he could ever know.” you finished your sentence before letting yourself fall forward into the pit. 

Heat enveloped you, thick and sticky like tar. It felt fluid and yet molten at the same time. You walked through a sea of nothingness, just emptiness for what felt like ever before you arrived at a shimmering mirror. You gazed at yourself, skin melted, bone showing. You touched the shimmering surface of it before you were thrown backwards. A devil slowly made her way out of the mirror. Her imposing figure looming above yours. 

“What dost thou want?” her voice echoed in a sinister whisper throughout the void yet her lips never moved. 

“The Sunwalker’s ring.” you stuttered out as you lay in the blackened tar like fluid. 

“Why?” she asked.

“My lover needs it.” you said simply, not wanting to overshare in case the devil was trying to form some sort of trick.

“What whilst thou sacrifice?” she asked, outstretching her hand.

You thought hard. What could you give of equal value? “Take whatever you wish, just not my soul or immortality.” 

The devil smiled, “You’re brave. What are you willing to endure for this boon?”

“Anything.” you said. Suddenly you felt all your skin peeling off. Your nails being removed one by one. 

“Pain is your price. If you say stop, your soul stays with me.” she smiled wickedly.

The pain was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Searing. Melting. Evil. You writhe about, feeling every part of you be ripped apart just to be put back together and torn apart once again. You screamed and cried but never said stop. You remember everything fading, slipping deeper into the tar like water before you felt… nothing. There was an absence of everything in this abyss. 

--------------------------

Astarion rushed through the halls of Gale’s tower, not caring if the sun scorched his skin every time he walked past a window. He made it to the laboratory in the basement. He stopped when he saw your body resting on a gurney. 

He rushed to you, “What happened?!” he yelled, demanding to know. 

You had been missing for three days before you reappeared in Waterdeep. Fainting as soon as you materialized, Gale kept you in the laboratory. He watched your vitals day and night, Karlach blaming herself for taking you despite knowing your stubborn heart would have gone no matter what. 

“OUT! Both of you get out!” he screamed. Feverish tears rushed down his cheeks as soon as he knew he was alone. He held your limp hand, kissing over your face “Wake up, please… you promised…” he held your forehead to his. His sobs wracked him, he kept his head on your chest for hours, listening to the only sign of your life. Your heart beat was weak but steady. He didn’t meditate for days. 

“Astarion…” Karlach said as she entered. She left a cup of fresh blood next to him. “They… I know their heart and mind was filled with only you when they stepped into that pit.” she patted his shoulder. 

He didn’t move, he was practically catatonic. They had told him what happened. Why you went. Your last words. Everything. He couldn’t be without you so this is where he would stay until he too faded into nothing. 

Astarion was sure he hallucinated it, a twitch of your eyebrow. Then your finger. He saw your eyes shifting beneath your lids. His head shot up despite the dizziness he felt due to lack of feeding. “Little love?” he whispered.

You shot up bolt right, leaning off to the side to throw up black liquid that scorched the stone flooring. After coughing and gagging for a solid minute you regained your sight a bit, “Astarion?” you mumbled, unsure if he was really there or if this was a fever dream. 

“Darling?” he said, kissing over your face. 

You sunk back down feeling weak. 

“GALE!” Astarion let out a booming yell which had the wizard running in. As soon as he saw you were awake he rushed a bottle of antidote and superior healing to your lips. Color returned to your face quickly. 

“Don’t ever do that shit again.” Astarion said with a watery tone. 

“I know, you can’t live without me.” you mumbled with a smirk as your shaky hand reached for his face, cupping his cheek. 

Astarion let out a shaky laugh before he kissed you. The healing potion tingled against his lips but didn’t distract him enough to feel a warm sensation slide up his ring finger. He begrudgingly pulled away to look at the cause. A golden band with a golden gem softly glowing. 

His eyes widened, “How did you…”

You softly smiled at him dragging him back into a kiss. “Let’s go home.” you whispered against his lips as you carded your fingers through his hair. 

“No…” he shook his head, “My brothers and sisters will manage without me. We’ve lived in the shadows long enough. Let’s make a new home.” he said.

You nodded quickly, pulling him into a crushing kiss as you pressed him close to you. He held you tightly, responding with just as much urgency and passion. “I love you.” he said.

You kissed him over and over, “I love you. Now, Sunwalker, let’s go make a home for ourselves.”

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Naboo's Note:

Hello all! This was based off a request so thank you for sending that in. This was awesome to write! Had a lot of fun with it, got the creative juices flowing. I hope everyone is well. I work an overnight tomorrow so expect another fic to be out soon! Thanks for everything!!! TTYLXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[zwolfgames]

Idk, but I think bg3 reader would try to leave the group, if they know about their yandere personalities, lol. Please, your bg3 works are so good. I expect the new one

(So, not a continuation of the last drabble. This is hypothetical for now. Also it deleted my answer the first time :( so this is try two, it may seem a bit rushed. And I got a bit off track, woops.)

Warnings: mentions of yandere stuff I suppose.

Y/N in this au (aka teen tav) really isn't stupid, sure they grew up in a village with just their mother and pulled random spells out of their ass like a true sorcerer, but they're not stupid.

The party started with variable reactions to a minor in the group. Act 1 doesn't showcase a lot of Yan tendencies due to everything still going kind of fine and everyone getting to know each other.

The yandere part really starts in act 2 when they enter the Shadow cursed lands. Unlike the normal region of act 1 are the Shadowlands riddled with danger.

The party quickly gets their wake-up call after things like Kar'niss (who gets his little momemt) and the other bosses and dangers. Katherine Thorm, being a threat, also doesn't help ease the party's feelings.

The group would go from silly to way more protective in act 2. But Y/N can't do anything about that yet. The shadows would eat them alive, or someone else could get them. Better left with unease rather than dead, right?

I've purposefully mentioned Y/N's mother in the drabbles to show the main goal of the reader, which is to return to their mother. This goal is being held back by a party of people who no longer seem intent to part ways with you once this is over.

Sure, Y/N wanted their cool adventure with heroes like Wyll Ravenguard, but staying with them permanently? Haha... no.

So after the wake-up call of act 2, Y/N would take their chances at escape in Baldur Gate. The thing is, though, Y/N isn't from Baldurs Gate. They don't know the alleys like the back of their hand in the same manner that Astarion does. They didn't grow up playing in the secret passageways like Karlach...

This is a dangerous game you're playing. The more you wiggle, the tighter their hold. It's just how it goes with people who have faced enough to lose it.

They handle you in different ways, of course.

Wyll, Gale, and Halsin strike me as the type to have wanted to protect this poor kid from the start, so their resolve just strengthens to unnecessary levels. You wouldn't mind just being carried to bed by a bear man, would you? He knows some good elvish lullabies.

Lae'zel is her own separate category, she's a githyanki, they have very diffrent ways then most folk on faerun. I'm basing her motherly ability on the prologue where she raises the gith egg. She may not be affectionate, but she does not want you out of sight. Expect training.

Karlach and Astarion surprisingly go together here. They don't seem like the parental type. More of an aunt/uncle. Would try and stay your friend. Guiltripping from Karlach that she may or not be aware of herself, and straight up manipulation from Astarion. They both had a bad past. You can stay, right? As a little gift from the gods?

Shadowheart didn't like you from the start, not a fan of kids. Her yandere strikes a lot later. First, she had only been worried about your health as a cleric. After her arc at the end of the shadow cursed lands (freeing Dame Aylin etc) she gets a bit of that parental feeling nonsense too. Though I'd say she shows it the least. You'd be tricked easily into thinking she's the only normal one in the party.

Minthara, I'm unsure if I can find a good way to let her join, but she'd be similar to Lae'zel, just crueler and definitely bot secretive about her want for your stay. If you ask her directly, she'd just plain out and say that if she catches you, you're getting bound.

Jaheira, natural mom, she's got kids, protected the kids. Don't expect her to be sweet, but you're definitely not going out of sight.

Minsc joins in Act 3, so really, he doesn't have the time to get to know you, he's funny, you're funny. Friends. Not that the rest appreciates the time you spent with him. They're scared you're gonna make up a talking animal next.

All in all, Y/N would try and escape. It just isn't very likely to succeed. If you get far... well, there are other beings out there still after you, you know?

Just forget your mom. Aren't they better family now? Your mom didn't teach you spells, did she? Or swordplay? Maybe how to make balms?

Cmon, they're the best option. Stay.

Just an answer lol, hope i didn't make anyone too OOC with just this. Xd.

[shadowshrike]

Astarion on Halsin Leaving

I can't stop thinking about Astarion's lines when Halsin chooses to leave your party, so have a fun mini-analysis. Note that this text is pulled via datamining because I don't have all the appropriate saves atm. Since the context of your personal story is everything in this game and can wildly change how lines come across, please take my thoughts here as a fun exercise with the text and nothing more.

I think the things that are needed to fully understand where my head is at regarding his lines are two fold:

1. How Astarion talks about other companions leaving

Shadowheart and Wyll can both also leave in Act 2. His responses are as follows.

Astarion: I don't see what Shadowheart got so upset about - it was not that nice of a temple.

For Shadowheart he gently deflects the crux of the matter. This isn't surprising because he is a master of minimizing other people's grievances when he thinks they're legitimate but inconvenient. Otherwise, he responds fairly mildly.

Astarion: So, that's how the legend ends. The Blade of Frontiers, cast down to the Hells. Hardly a fitting ending. But so few are.

Unlike Shadowheart, Wyll is forced to leave by being dragged to the hells. There's no justification he needs to rebuff for Wyll leaving the party's side, so instead, he uses it to double down on his philosophy that 'nice guys finish last and the world is a dangerous and horrible place.' Which, ironically, is not entirely unreasonable given the circumstances.

2. How other companions talk about Halsin leaving

The Good companions don't blame Halsin for leaving. Wyll even blames himself for not doing enough. Karlach also regrets the loss of another strong person around, reminding us once again that Halsin is physically imposing in the narrative, even if the stats say otherwise because of how D&D balance works.

Gale: Druids will always follow nature's purpose over any mortal threat. Halsin goes where he is needed, as must we.

Jaheira: Halsin long urged the Harpers not to abandon this land to the curse. I cannot blame him, for being unable to bear it a second time.

Wyll: I can't blame Halsin for leaving. We could have, should have, done more for him and for the cursed lands. They may never again feel the breathe of life on them. What a shame.

Karlach: Pity about Halsin. I was getting used to having an extra Strong around. He smelled nice, too. Like outside.

(Fun fact regarding Karlch's comment: Astarion has a line where he refers to Halsin as "musky bear-fellow" - musky is also the word used to describe the attractive smell of corpse flowers - and Halsin's underwear smells like an herb garden according to its flavor text. Apparently, the guy canonically smells really good?)

Even Shar Path Shadowheart expresses regret in losing Halsin. Not because she wants to end the Shadow Curse, but because Halsin's nice to look at.

Shadowheart: This land remains cloaked by Lady Shar's power - good. A shame it cost us Halsin as a travelling companion though. He may have been misguided, but I liked looking at him.

That brings us to...

Astarion's tantrum over Halsin leaving

Go ahead and listen to it yourself first, and then I'll dive into both lines.

Astarion: Just like that hulking bear to stomp off in a huff. I swear, druids care more about the plants of this land than the people.

"Just like that hulking bear to stomp off in a huff."

This first statement is not only indignant and deflecting, it's so factually false that it's laughable. Halsin is always calm and regretful when staying behind no matter how you treat him.

Player: You have to come - I need you. Halsin: This place needs me. I wish it were different - I truly do. As long as the curse remains, so must I.

Player: Do as you wish. Halsin: This isn't what I wish. It's simply the way it has to be - I'm sorry.

Player: The shadow curse was always your burden - not mine. Halsin: Yes, and so it must remain. I wish you success on your path. Had things been different, I might have walked it with you.

Player: Perhaps we can still do something to lift the curse. Halsin: No. If you linger, you'll only jeopardise your own mission. This is my burden alone now until either the curse is lifted, or I breathe my last.

Halsin is renowned for letting people treat him horribly and taking it on the chin. Him pushing back is usually related to calmly setting boundaries or expectations. The only times I can think of offhand where he raises his voice in anger is with Kagha, if you interfere with the portal, and briefly after certain parts of the Evil companion routes, though not as intensely (I might do a write-up on that later because his reactions are interesting). He certainly never "stomp[s] off in a huff", and he's not doing it now either.

However, the way this is worded gives me pause. Because "just like [him]" said so angrily gives the impression that Halsin has reacted this way to Astarion before. Given Astarion's habit of rewriting exactly how events went down to absolve himself of accountability, it makes me wonder if Astarion's tried to get a rise out of Halsin in camp and been shut down. Since Halsin is the only Good companion at that point who is also old and worldly enough to not get flustered by Astarion's cruelty, mind games, and flirting, it wouldn't surprise me if Astarion has built up resentment. Halsin refuses to be manipulated or confirm Astarion's cynical worldview, and Astarion isn't ready to consider changing his mind with Cazador on the horizon.

"I swear, druids care more about the plants of this land than the people."

This is, again, a false statement wrapped in a little more truth than the first. Druids are indeed infamous for putting nature above humans (see: Shadow Druids), and Halsin talks a big game about Balance and Nature. However, Halsin is probably the most people-oriented traditional druid we see in the game, going so far as to cause chaos in his grove by aggressively taking in refugees and personally traveling with an undead and servant of Shar because they need help. He chooses people over Silvanus' classic teachings so often that it's fascinating.

That aside, given what the shadow-cursed lands are doing to anyone on the way to Baldur's Gate, choosing to stay and attempt to lift the curse is hardly serving plants over people - the Absolute and the Shadow Curse are both significant threats to people. What Halsin is doing, however, is prioritizing his own problems over those of Astarion. He's setting aside the tadpole cause, not because he's selfish or duplicitous, but because he's not willing to abandon the other people he swore to help a century ago and has obsessed over ever since.

Some fun implications

Given all this information, there are many interesting ways to read Astarion's language beyond a surface "he hates Halsin and/or druids" level (gotta love his charlatan background making almost every line capable of ambiguity). Some personal favorite interpretations of his feelings:

Begrudging affection towards Halsin. Astarion has no reason to get so angry and make such absurd statements if he didn't want Halsin to stay. He certainly didn't make such a big fuss about other companions. However, since Astarion isn't in an emotional place to be able to consider Halsin's worldview seriously now that he's staring down Cazador, that admiration gets bungled into a "well screw you, I didn't like you anyway" attitude, much like how he handles some partner breakups.

Resentment and fear of being left behind or rejected. Astarion is selfish. He's been fairly consistent that he doesn't want to help others, but he also hates when no one helps him. That self-fulfilling prophecy is a rather large part of how he moves through (un)life and can easily continue through Act III depending on whether your dialog choices give him an opportunity to express it. Seeing a good person that he truly believes is good choosing something else over him makes the 'truth' of this cynical, self-centered worldview sting harder, especially as he is at his most vulnerable heading into Baldur's Gate.

Guilt for not doing more. Halsin has been clear about his priorities from the start. He's one of the most straightforward, reasonable communicators in the whole game. That means Astarion knew he would leave if the Shadow Curse wasn't lifted, especially since Halsin doesn't have a tadpole and, therefore, has no reason to risk his life for them. Since Astarion is almost universally unwilling to take blame for his own actions or inactions, he's trying to push the responsibility onto Halsin by painting him as unreasonable for following through on his stated priorities rather than let himself feel bad about not helping Halsin.

I'm sure there are even more readings you can think of, too. Hats off to this hidden bit of dialogue, the incredible delivery, and how much depth it brings to a relationship which is easy to ignore.

[senualothbrok]

Content

Summary: After seeing everyone at the reunion party, Gale wonders if you regret choosing him over Astarion.

Word count: 1.4k

Disclaimers: Non-18+. Unascended Gale x Tav. Unascended Astarion. Mild hurt/comfort. Fluff.

AO3 link

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That-” The bed dips as he collapses beside you. “Was a lovely evening.”

It is instinct now, to nestle yourself into him, to nuzzle into the nook where his neck meets his shoulder. To interlace your fingers with his.

His words are lightly slurred, drowsy from wine, heavy with pleasure. He is so warm. A light drizzle has begun outside. You lie still, listening to the gentle patter of rain on the sea.

“Everyone looked so happy,” you say. “Did you see Wyll and Karlach?”

His grin is so wide you can hear it. “I can’t say I didn’t see that coming.”

“Even Lae’zel.” You laugh. “She told me she was having a nice time. She used the word nice.”

Gale chuckles. Your body moves to its rhythm.

“Shadowheart wants to stop by again next month.”

“That would be marvellous.”

“Did I show you the duck that Halsin gave me?”

“Yes, my love. More than once. I think you showed everyone at the party.”

You sigh. “Even Jaheira and Minsc looked well. Well, Minsc looked like an escaped prisoner, but I guess that’s his version of thriving.”

“It’s heartening to see that some things never change.” He runs his fingers through your hair, slow and soft. Your eyelids begin to flutter. “And that some things do. Astarion, for instance. He seems remarkably well, doesn’t he?”

Your eyes spring open. You shift your head slightly.

“He does.”  

“He and Tara took to each other like flies to a carcass. For almost half an hour they traded casual insults about my beard, my lack of organisation, and my life choices in general. It was most entertaining. For them.

You trace your fingers over his chest. There are the faintest indents in his skin where the mark of the orb used to be.

“Some things never change.” 

“Indeed.” He kisses your forehead. “Just like the good old days, I suppose, when we were two suitors battling for the prize of your precious affections.”

You look up at him with an arched eyebrow. “Is that what I was? A prize to be won through a contest of manhood?”

He rubs his nose against yours. “Of course not. Your love is a gift, one I never dreamed I’d deserve.”

He goes on before you can protest.

“I think he may still hold my good fortune against me, though. Despite being a changed man. A leader of seven thousand spawn, even.” There is pride in his voice.

In the silence that follows, you bask in that pride. You too are indescribably proud of Astarion, how far he has come, the life he has made for himself.

“No regrets, then?” Gale asks.

He disguises it as a jest, a throwaway comment. But there is a stiffness in his chest, a hollowness to his tone, that he cannot conceal from you.

“Regrets?”

He shuffles. As he tilts his head, you see a crease on his brow.

“Do you regret your choice? Now that you’ve seen Astarion again, in all his glory?”

It is the briefest of moments. You hesitate. And he sees it.

He moves back.  Doubt darkens his features. Desperation quivers in them. He searches your eyes.

You had wanted to brush it off, dismiss it as absurd. Reassure him that you had never entertained any doubts, that you had never been uncertain about your choice. But that would not be true. And you had promised, when you had sworn your lives to each other, that you would always tell the truth.

You had promised each other that you would not sacrifice your own needs on the altar of the other’s approval. Those days were over and gone. You had vowed to always tell each other the truth about what you wanted, what you needed, what you felt. No longer would you ignore or deny who you were out of fear that the other would withdraw their love.

Your marriage had been built on that promise. You could not disregard it now.

“You can tell me.” He nods. There is turmoil in his gaze, but also kindness. And love. So much love.

You place your hand on his heart. You take a deep breath.

“After we ended things, I worried for Astarion. For a long time, I thought I had broken him, even more than he already was. I thought, after all he’d been through, for me to leave him like that…”

You remember the cold tentacles of guilt that latched around your heart, the weight of the shame that crushed you.

“I thought that I could help him. I wanted to be there for him, when no one else had been. He said I was the only one who had ever been kind to him, the only good thing he had experienced in this godsdamned shitty world. To have left him, after all that… I thought I had destroyed him.”

You remember all the sleepless nights, the dreams, the nightmares.  You know, with such certainty, that Gale will understand. You have cradled him in your arms, after all, when he has woken stricken and confused, calling out Mystra’s name. Some things do not need to be explained.

The tenderness of Gale’s gaze gives you strength to continue.

“It was exhausting, to feel like I always wanted him to be something he wasn’t. He resented me for it, for trying to change him. All the times I had to talk him down, justify my decisions, tell him that it was worth it to be kind and compassionate, to help people without expecting anything in return. I’m a Paladin, for gods’ sake, and the number of times I had to explain my oath…” You shake your head. “I felt like I had to make myself smaller, to be a different person, for our love to survive.”

Your voice breaks. “It was too much, anyway, to be the one to save him, to be his only hope.”

There is uncertainty in Gale’s frown. You see the question he holds back.

“It was different with you, Gale. You were a good man long before we met. Even being cursed with the power to obliterate an entire city couldn’t take away your kindness. Your goodness. Even that couldn’t make you bitter or cruel.”

Gale’s face has softened, but he averts his eyes. He looks contrite, when he has no reason to be.

“I admit that I’ve had some concerns.” He grimaces. “When you’re frightfully out of practice, and competing with someone with such clear expertise in matters of seduction…” He clears his throat. “It’s difficult not to wonder.”

“It was never like that.” You hand moves to cup Gale’s cheek. “And seduction, sex – that’s different from…well, making love, forgive the cliché.”

You have discussed intimacy before with Gale, but you have never discussed how things were with Astarion. You do not want to hurt him, but you owe him the truth.

“Sometimes, touch was hard for him. Being close. Showing love. And I understood that. But sometimes, I needed to be touched. To be held.”

It still surprises you, how easy it is to show Gale your heart and all its scars. How safe you feel in the knowledge that he will never run away from them.

“I felt so, so selfish for that.  And for a long time, I blamed myself, for leaving him, for choosing happiness with you.”

The tears come without warning. You brush them away, but they do not stop.

“I could never regret this life with you, Gale. But I did feel guilty. Ashamed. Now, after seeing him, knowing how happy he is, knowing how truly well he is, being able to hug him…” A laugh bursts from you, bright with relief, shaky with tears. “I don’t have to feel that way anymore.”

When he smiles, it is like the light of a thousand stars radiating through you.

“My love,” he whispers. “If I’d known that you were carrying this burden with you all this time, I would have asked you this question sooner.”

He reaches for you and holds you to his chest. You can feel the beating of his heart, echoing through you, boundless as the night sky.

“Choosing you was the best choice I’ve ever made,” you breathe.

His lips caress your hair, your ear, your neck, the tears which fall down your cheeks. His tongue melts into yours as your limbs entwine with his. You give yourself to each other, as you have before, as you will again and again. And for the first time in as long as you can remember, you are content.

----

Liked this fic? You can find more of my work here.

[redlittlefoxari]

Astarion Epilogue :An Adventure in Making Life Chapter Five: Together Again

Summary: The gang sets off on the adventure to Waterdeep and has decided to keep the pregnancy a secret from those you are traveling with.

After getting so much needed rest after finding out Tav(you) are pregnant with Astarion’s child your old friend Gale pays you a visit.

Warnings: NSFW+18, smut, pregnancy, blood, violence, fluff, angst.

Relationship: Astarion X Tav

Characters: Astarion (Baldur's Gate) Karlach (Baldur's Gate)Gale (Baldur's Gate) Wyll (Baldur's Gate) Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate)Lae'zel (Baldur's Gate) Tav (Baldur's Gate) Jaheira (Baldur's Gate) Halsin(Baldur's Gate)

Master List

Five Weeks Pregnant

The sun was rising over the hills when you and Astarion Started to lock up your home and set out for the gate. Your armor felt heavy and pressed against your sensitive breasts making you hiss every time you moved. You tried to get the local blacksmith to rush order you a new armor set, but he didn’t have the time, and neither did you. You shouldered your pack and looked at Atarion who looked stunning in his black leather armor and well-worn leather boats. 

“I will say I’ll miss our feather bed and hot water.” Astarion cried as he too shouldered his pack. 

“It won’t be too bad. The company will make up for the lack of comfort.” You said as cheerfully as you could. 

You couldn’t wait to see everyone again. It had been years since all of you got together in one place again and you could barely hold in your excitement. You wanted to know everything about what had been going on with them. Letters were one thing but hearing their voices might bring you to tears and only some of that feeling was because of your hormones going crazy. The rest was the real deal. 

“I know but I’m still going to miss it or rather what we can do in it.” He gave you a sly smile. 

“We can still do that the first time we had sex was on the forest floor.” You shot him a flirtatious look right back. “I’m pretty sure you fucked me on a pinecone.” 

“I did not. I made sure I picked them all up before I ruined all other men for you.” He was returning your flirtatious look back to you tenfold. 

“And would you look at that I’ve had no other men but you these last fifty years, It worked.” You began setting the pace as you walked towards the gate which would take about thirty minutes. 

“So I guess I won.” 

You rolled your eyes and smiled, he had ruined other men for you. He was everything you wanted and then some. And you tried to be everything he needed and then some. It was hard sometimes but you always tried your best. In the first year of your relationship, there were so many obstacles. That’s why you hunted day and night to find him the ring he now wore on his left ring finger. The ring that allowed him to walk in the sun once more. 

There were times you would come home to find him staring at the sun from a shadowed corner of the room reaching out just to see if he could feel the warmth from its glow in the shadows. Whenever you saw him do this, it made your chest tighten and your eyes water. It drove you harder to find what you needed because you loved him and that first year you did everything you could to prove to him that he was loved. 

“I love you Astarion.” You had no idea why you were telling him this now. Maybe the thought of him in that first year brought you back to worrying you needed to prove it to him. 

“I love you too darling.” He grabbed your hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “And I always will.” 

The two of you made your way to the gate longer than you intended to. Your pace was slow as you took in the city you both called home. The city where your love created the life that was now growing inside you. You still held each other's hands you both seemingly feeling the same way. Outside the gates was the unknown you didn’t know what could happen. You didn’t know why but it scared you. 

You stopped pulling Astarion with you. Your breaths became hard and fast, your eyes darting around like you were a trapped animal. “Astarion I’m scared what if I mess up and something happens to them.” You took your free hand and wrapped it protectively around your stomach. 

Astarion pulled you into him resting his chin on your head. “We can turn around right now and head home just say the word and we are gone.”

You wanted to go home. You wanted to shut the door and hide from the world until your baby was born happy and healthy, but that was no way to live. You stood in the ally in each other's arms till the panic subsided. In his arms, you knew you were safe his arms around you grounded you and made you feel safe. Your breaths returned to a normal, steady rhythm and the panic subsided. 

“I think as long as you are with me and there to protect and ground me I will be okay.” Your arms snaked around his waist. 

“I will protect you with my life.” His vow hung in the air and the streets grew quiet. 

“Hey, lovebirds! If you're done we wanna get on the road!” The accent was unmistakable. You peered over Astarion’s shoulder to see Karlach waving her arms at the two of you. 

“We’re coming!” You shouted back to her. You gave Astarion a quick kiss. “Ready?”

“Darling, I was born ready.” 

With that, the two of you closed the distance between you and the rest of your party. Karlach’s hair had turned grey in some places but she was still the seven-foot teifling you knew and loved. She no longer burned with the fire of the hells and had her heart back in its proper place. That was what really bonded Wyll and Karlach into the everlasting love that they shared. He went with her to the hells after the battle to save Baldur’s Gate fifty years ago and fought demons, devils, and archdevils to get her heart back. In the process, they fell in love and the rest is history. 

“Gods elves have it so easy! You look the same as you did fifty years ago.” Karlach wrapped you in a big bear hug squeezing you and lifting you up off the ground. 

“Well, you know someone had to keep all the good looks you know.” 

“You can put her down now thank you very much I would rather you not crush her into dust thank you very much.” Astarion’s words were light as he spoke to Karlach. 

“Do you want a hug instead Astarion? Getting jealous now?” Karlach put you down and turned towards Astarion. 

“No, I’m not really a hugger. I didn’t want you crushing the only person I’ve ever cared for.” 

“That’s fair. What have the two of you been up to? Anything fun?” Kralach asked you and Astarion. 

“Let's see we just returned from an adventure a little over a month ago. Saved a town from some harpies that had made a nest nearby and were stealing their children.”You tried to think of anything else to add but couldn’t think of anything. 

“Ah yes those wretched creatures got what was coming to them, it was a shame that they all died so quickly though,” Astarion added a click of his tongue to the end of his statement. “Since then we’ve been taking a little respite, sleeping till noon eating till we feel sick that sort of thing.” 

You gave Astarion a look sideways glance. You knew what he was trying to do: explain away any noticeable weight gain from your pregnancy by stating that the two of you had just been lazy these past weeks and stuffing your faces.

“Yes, I so did miss all the good food in the city.” You took a longing look down the street to drive your story home. 

“I agree to that.” Shadowheart approached her hair still dyed silver. “I have my bag stuffed with everything I could think of that I would miss from the city We can share.” 

Shadowheart also looked much the same as she did fifty years ago. She had a few more wrinkles around her eyes and mouth but for the most part, she looked like an average fifty-year-old woman that you would see walking down the streets of the city.  She now worshiped Selûne and not Shar, going back to the goddess that she worshipped before she was taken and forced into devoting herself to for forty years of her life. 

“That would be great Shadowheart we can compare what we brought later by the fire. We have a long day's journey.” You sighed as you thought about how your feet would look after twenty-four miles. 

“We will be sleeping outside for a few days but it will be just like the old days.” Wyll spoke with optimism in his voice. 

Wyll was always able to see the sunshine where there was darkness the human turned teifling and now had a dusting of a black and grey beard growing about his chin and his stone eye still seemed to be looking into your soul. Since breaking his pact with Mizora Wyll seemed as if he stepped lighter. His Warlock powers may have been gone but the blade of frontiers still slashed and diced any monster that dared endanger the innocent. 

“I Still don’t understand why we can’t just teleport there. That would make this journey a whole hells of a lot shorter.” Astarion tried to embody a look of annoyance on his face but all you could see was worry buried deep in the lines of his face. 

It would have made it easier but this trip was about much more than leisure. This was a chance to have a nice journey with everyone again and see the Sword Coast almost entirely. The trek to Waterdeep was seven hundred and fifty miles long and you had never been there in all these years so using a portal wouldn’t help because you had no idea where they were anyway. Gale could teleport you all there instantly, but you had a feeling that Gale wanted you all to go on this little adventure together. The road was a way to catch up and plus he seemed busy with all the preparations for his ceremony. 

“You know as well as I do Astarion that Gale has a lot on his plate and plus this will be fun.” You took his hand and squeezed it gently giving a small amount of reinsurance that everything would be alright.” Don’t you want to spend this time with your friends instead of sitting at home for two months waiting? That sounds boring.” 

“Yes well, the next town closest to the city is four days away so if we don’t want to make camp in the middle of the night we really do need to be getting on our way.”Astarion understood what you were trying to do. He would agree that he would much rather be out on an adventure than wait at home for two months. 

“Let’s crash Gale’s party and make him regret inviting us.” At your statement, everyone cheered and you all set out on the long journey to Waterdeep. 

[cfcreative]

Dumb BG3 thoughts based on a single pun for Korydass…

The Companions & Their Relationships to Makeup

Thoughts under the break…

Lae’zel: “Tchk! It is called battle paint, Istik!”

Shadowheart: Loves it, is clearly talented & practiced with it—also wildly jealous of Isobel’s eyeliner game. Has she worn poisoned lipstick? Probably at least once she can’t remember.

Astarion: Will deny that he uses anything. Actually uses everything he can get his hands on. Has gotten incredibly good at doing things by feel/memory. The only reason he isn’t more dramatic with it is that pesky lack of reflection.

Gale: Has a meticulous skincare routine and a manicure kit. Very particular about his hands AKA “The finally tuned instruments with which I compose the intricate melodies of my art!” Used to have a haircare routine, but it fell by the wayside when he wasn’t leaving his tower.

Wyll: Careful haircare routine. Enjoys eyeliner and eyeshadow. Was much more fussy about everything when every other day he had to attend a ball. Much more practical now that he’s been the Blade of the Frontiers.

Karlach: Is interested, but since there weren’t cosmetics that could stand up to the fiery hells of Avernus at her disposal she hasn’t had a chance to dabble. Unironically will ask Wyll (before anyone else) for ideas on what she could/should wear, because he’s her bestie and that’s who you ask!

Halsin: Works solely with what nature gave him, gods bless the man.

Minthara: Has a makeup/skincare/haircare routine that is precisely timed down to the minute. Has absolutely worn poisoned lipstick on multiple occasions. Also has painted her nails with poison. Not for a specific reason, just to test out the practicality of it. Didn’t use it again because it chipped too easily.

Jaheira: Used makeup more often when she was younger. After her kids and “bonus kids with weapons” (The Harpers) she didn’t bother as much with it. She still does her hair exactly the way Khalid loved it, though.

Alfira: Adores makeup! Stage makeup, everyday makeup, you name it! Can be overly ambitious with it.

Lakrissa: Never was interested when she was younger, in fact, was pretty anti-makeup… then Alfira begged her to try an eyeshadow. Alfira fawned so much over Lakrissa afterwards that Lakrissa has been wearing it ever since.

Isobel: Effortlessly an expert in makeup. Obviously adores a dramatic eyeliner and eyeshadow. Occasionally gets the whim to practice on Aylin. Takes up a more vigorous skincare regimen after resurrection because she’s quietly alarmed by the “clamminess” of her skin. (Nobody else thinks she feels clammy).

Aylin: Fully believes she is perfect without makeup. Fully believes she is also perfect with it. Does not own any of her own cosmetics. Really only wears makeup when Isobel puts it on her. Makes a lot of loud excuses about not understanding mortal hair-care because it prompts Isobel to wash and brush her hair.

Korydass: “Make up? Make up with whom? Have I offended someone?!”

[tragedybunny]

I Should Tell You - Chapter 3

༺Summary༻

In a fit of guilt, Astarion tries to confess his deception to you. At the last moment, he loses his nerve and ends your relationship with another lie. He's resigned himself to having lost his chance with you forever when once again everything changes. With the two of you out on your own, will he be able to take a chance and tell you everything, and will you forgive him when he does?

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Female Reader

༺Warnings༻ Sexual references

༺Word Count༻ 2484

thanks to @brabblesblog for the beta!

You awoke with a sense of disorientation; where you were sleeping was wrong. Below you was something firm, and cool, and somehow comforting. 

Oh no. Last night came flooding back to you. 

Slowly, your eyes opened and with dawning horror you found that you had been sleeping on Astarion’s shoulder while he meditated peacefully. It was the last place you wanted to be. 

He must have been miserable. Delicately, you lifted your weight off him and backed away across the bed. You should've known better than to accept his offer; Astarion had made it clear that he was uncomfortable with any level of physical intimacy and you slept on him. You were just trying to be nice. The last thing you wanted was to hurt him,but your offer to feed him had backfired and undoubtedly caused your friend to suffer. 

For a moment you paused at the edge of the bed, appreciating how peaceful he looked, how beautiful he was unguarded. If only you could stay in his arms. But the two of you weren't meant to be. 

It was very telling, you thought, that you were sitting here grieving your relationship with Astarion and not with Halsin. You'd been so desperate to get the taste of him off your tongue you'd practically ran into Halsin’s arms. It hadn't been right for either you or Halsin. 

Sighing softly so as not to disturb Astarion, you got up quietly  to look for the pack with your clothes in it. What had happened still stung, but you've had the whole night to think on it and maybe it was for the best; you clearly weren't over Astarion yet. Taking your clothes behind the dressing screen, you made sure Astarion couldn’t see you if he roused himself, determined to not make him any more uncomfortable than you potentially already had. It was probably time to talk to Halsin and to clear the air, then figure out exactly what it was you were going to do with your life now. 

You had known Halsin’s plan didn’t feel right for you,however what you should be doing now that the Netherbrain was dead and there wasn't a tadpole in your head, you hadn't been able to decide. There was no family waiting for you - you've been on your own since you could remember, barely surviving, depending on your magical talents to eke out a living. Hells, your home was a rented room with not much more than some spare clothes, if it even still existed out there in the wake of the battle’s destruction. 

Astarion had brought you a simple shirt and a loose, flowing skirt to dress in this morning;a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. You'd told him once you missed skirts but pants were so much more practical for traveling and layering your enchanted robes over when it came time for possible conflict. 

Fully dressed, you quietly slipped out of the room, careful not to disturb Astarion. Reaching the common room, you took a deep breath before opening the door; Halsin was never one to give himself over to anger, so you hoped there would be a calm discussion to be had. 

Your companions were all unfortunately gathered close to the door, apparently sorting through their various packs and belongings they’ve gathered on the journey. All eyes turned to you, causing you to flush: Gale and Shadowheart with curiosity, Minsc with confusion, and Jaheira looked as though she knew some secret you hadn't figured out yourself. But it was Halsin that made your heart ache as he stared at you with both sadness and longing. 

“G-good morning,” you stammered, your gaze immediately going to your former paramour. “Could we talk?”

“If that is what you wish.” Halsin was as gentle as ever; you were going to miss that. Why couldn’t you want to go with him? Other than last night’s events, he was an ideal partner. 

The two of you left the group behind, going to the corner where your beds sat side by side. Seeing his bed cleared of his belongings, while yours were still scattered where you left them, had a mournful finality to it. “I’m sorry-” you started but were cut off. 

“I feel as though I should be the one apologizing.” Halsin gently took your hand in his. “I did not think about how you would take such a decision being thrust upon you. I am used to deciding for my heart alone.” 

“I need to apologize as well. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. We should’ve talked things out.” 

“Truly, my heart?’ The hope is his voice threatened to break you. 

Softly, but insistently, you pulled your hand from his, and watched as his heart broke all over again. “Losing my temper was wrong, but my decision is right for me. Committing to caring for these refugees, many of them children, is just not something I have in me right now. But if this is your path, then you should take it.” Voice catching on the last syllable, you felt the sting of tears in your eyes. Even if you knew now things would never work out with him, a part of you was going to miss him. 

“I understand,” he said, and you looked at the floor at his words. Halsin was putting on a good show, but for you, the pain was clear. “If this is what you wish, but know you’re always welcome to join me, even as a friend and guest.” 

“That’s very kind of you.” You were suddenly pulled into a tight hug that you returned just as fiercely. This was goodbye, for now at least, and you both knew it. 

When he let go, Halsin looked down at you fondly one last time. “I suppose I should be off. There is much to prepare.” 

With that he withdrew, heading for the door, and you began to pack your things, attempting to organize and sort out what you actually would be using in the future. It would help if you had any idea what you were going to do with yourself. “Where will you go now?” Shadowheart spoke up from behind you, as though she’d read your thoughts and decided to join the conversation.

You dropped your stack of books back onto the table and collapsed onto the mattress beside it. “I don’t know,” you breathed out, finally letting out how lost you were. 

“You could come with us if you want, I was going to escort Gale back to Waterdeep.” Shadowheart had settled next to you, hand resting on your shoulder. “We’re still friends, you know. That didn’t end with the Absolute. If you need us right now, just say.” 

You pulled your fingers through your hair, stalling, and snagging them on a tangle. You’d been in such a hurry that you’d forgotten Astarion had brought your brush in with your other things. Her offer seemed reasonable;at least you wouldn’t be rotting away in Baldur’s Gate. Even Astarion was leaving, heading to the Underdark to check in with the other Spawn. You hadn’t thought much about what you would do when this was all done, too worried you’d actually manage to save yourself and stop the Absolute. Maybe a part of you had resigned yourself to returning to your meager existence, maybe a part of you never believed you would get this far. “I’ll think about it, when are you all leaving?” 

“We’re hoping to handle that mess,” she gestured to the pile Gale was still poking at, “and then get started, probably won’t make it too far today. Hopefully Astarion will take five minutes out of his brooding so we can see him before we leave.” 

“I can go see if he’s awake, to remind him,” you offered. “I need to brush this mess out anyway.” 

Shadowheart gave you a smile, and for the second time you felt like someone was looking into parts of you that you couldn’t see. “I think you probably should do that. Don’t need him to miss us and then complain we’re mean to him.” 

With defeat, you looked at the mess you still hadn’t managed to conquer. “I’ll be back for that, though,” you said, rising from the mattress. 

“You had better be,” she teased, “just because you’re our fearless leader doesn’t mean you get to leave your mess everywhere.” 

The two of you shared a laugh and you waved to the rest of the group on your way out, back down the hall to Astarion’s room. With each step you felt strangely apprehensive. You’d rushed there last night after your argument with Halsin, and hadn’t taken any time to think. Now though, it was strange to be getting so close to Astarion’s private sanctuary. Even if you had promised to remain friends, distance had grown between the two of you; it had grown between Astarion and everyone, but it particularly stung that he pulled away even from you. Even with your relationship with Halsin, a part of you had been dreading the day you would say good-bye to Astarion, and now it was here. If nothing else though, at least you knew he still cared for you as a friend. 

Lightly, you tapped on the door, seeing if he had roused himself from his trance yet. There was a muffled, irritated sounding reply before the door cracked open, Astarion glaring through it for a moment before his expression softened. “Oh, darling, do come in.” 

Stepping back, he opened the door wide and you were able to take the sight of him in, tousled curls, sleepy eyes, rumpled clothing. He still looked devastatingly handsome. Worried about making him uncomfortable with your stare you hurried in, allowing the door to shut behind you. “Now, what can I do for you this morning my-”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted, cutting him off. “I know you’re uncomfortable with…certain things and then I went and fell asleep on you.” You’d brought your hands up to gesture wildly, emphasizing your point, and a single spark drifted off your fingertip. Subconsciously, you’d gathered the Weave, and the Wild Magic in your blood threatened to loose itself. 

Cool hands caught yours, grounding you. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I woke you up when I came in, and you very kindly offered me your blood. No hard feelings.”

You could feel the flush building in your cheeks. “If you say so.” You pulled your hands back from his, worried you might lose your ability to speak if he kept holding onto them. “The others wanted me to let you know that they’re leaving soon, and they wanted to come say goodbye.” 

For a moment his face scrunched up and you worried he’d refuse,but he let out an exaggerated breath he didn’t need to and relented. “Fine, I suppose I’ll miss them as well. Probably best for a proper farewell. And what about you, my dear? When do you head off for your next grand adventure?” 

You shrugged, trying to downplay the sensation of being utterly lost. “I would have to figure out what that was first.” 

“Oh,” Astarion looked at you with widened eyes. “I’m sorry, everything has to be a mess for you after what happened.” He sat back on the mattress, gesturing insistently until you joined him. 

“It’s fine, I just can’t figure out what I want to do. Even before this thing with Halsin, we’d talked, but I couldn’t make any decisions.” Probably because you weren’t involved in any of the possibilities.

“Hrm,” Astarion chewed on the noise, thinking, seemingly upset. “So you have no idea what you’re doing and no home in Baldur’s Gate that you’re going to return to.” You nodded, waiting for him to continue. “I don’t suppose you’d care to… and I mean only if you really want to… come to the Underdark with me for a little while?”

Your mind went completely blank. “Y-you want me to come to the Underdark?”

“Of course, I understand it's not really an ideal place for someone who can actually walk in the sun. Forget I asked.” For the first time in so long, Astarion’s armor cracked. You were able to see beyond the sparky aggression he showed the group and the suave charm he saved for you. He seemed so lonely, and a little sad. 

There wasn't anyone or anywhere for him to call his own, either. Sure, he was going to see his “siblings” down there, but they barely got along. It was going to hurt, to be so close to him and still have the feelings you couldn't fight off even with another partner, but maybe this could teach the two of you to be proper friends.  And out of anyone in the group, didn't he deserve some companionship? “I think it's a great idea.” 

Beside you, he practically jumped. “You do?” 

“Absolutely. Another adventure without a worm in my head. An excuse to get out of Baldur’s Gate. The possibility of seeing weird mushroom people again. Sounds perfect.” Torturing myself by being so close to you.

Fidgeting with his fingers, you felt the weight of his gaze land on you and turned to catch his crimson eyes that never failed to captivate you. “Are you sure? There’s seven thousand spawn down there. Not that any are quite as impressive as yours truly, but it will be a bit different from our other companions. Not to mention the usual question of survival in the Underdark.”

“I already said yes, you don’t have to keep persuading me.” 

The slight smile that tugged up the corner of his lips would’ve convinced you to go to a different plane if need be. “I promise if you change your mind, I’ll escort you back.”

“Deal.” For a brief moment, there was silence between the two of you; all of your unsaid words swirled in your mind. 

That night when he’d told you he wasn’t ready for a relationship, you’d been sure your heart was breaking. I don’t want to let you go. The words clawed their way into your throat to die there. If he needed to be alone, that’s what he needed. I think I could have loved you. Trying to keep him would have been to be no better than the master he escaped. 

And it wouldn’t do you any good to lose sight of what he asked for now, no matter how you felt. “I suppose I should go finish packing,” you tore your eyes from his, “after I find my brush.” You cringed at the awkward laugh that followed your words. 

Astarion didn’t move from the bed, and even turned away, though you thought you could still feel him looking at you. Was he regretting his invitation? Was it a kindness he didn’t believe you’d take him up on? “Be ready by dusk.

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