#I often draw things and then just leave them on my tablet for myself

[keferon]

AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEMMMMM

[queenoftiddies]

Fuck it, I’ll do one of these things

50 notes- I’ll start posting more art

75 notes- I’ll decide what fandom I want my oc to be in

100 notes- I’ll actually post art and lore about my oc

150 notes- I’ll do the above often

200 notes- I’ll start taking more water to bed with me

250 notes- I’ll drink more water

300 notes- I’ll start eating breakfast again

350 notes - I’ll start eating lunch again

400 notes- I’ll start running again

450 notes- I’ll try to stop feeling bad about my body

550 notes - I’ll open requests for drawing fan art of the fandoms I’m in

600 Notes- I’ll open up to my parents about maybe having adhd or add

700 notes- I’ll tell my parents about how I was rlly depressed last year (+ Had a bunch of panic attacks)

800 notes- I’ll thank my friends for being the reason I’m still here

900 notes- I’ll try save money from my babysitting job

1000 notes- I’ll draw whatever the first comment is

1100 notes- idk.. I’ll out myself on the most traumatizing fanfic I’ve ever read

1200 notes- I’ll do a Q&A

1500 notes- I’ll try to do character designs from Epic the Musical

2500 notes- I’ll keep my school bag neat this year

3500 notes- I won’t just leave school papers around

4500- I’ll start saving my money for a tablet

6000- I’ll start writing Jason Todd x reader (and other characters from fandoms I’m in, Jason Todd was just the most popular) oneshots/ blurbs again

NO MORE SPAMMING IN NOTES

SPAMMERS WILL BE DELETED IF I SEE THEM AGAIN

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 288: A Date at the Movies, p4 (Boner Alert)

My eyes had shot wide as suddenly I recognized the bitter taste that had laced the sickly sweet green smoothie shot I’d just swallowed. Bessie, meanwhile, blithely continued to clean up our table and the girls had already dissolved into laughter.  “What’s in it??” Josie asked, between a couple girlish snorts, “What’s it gonna do to him??”

“It’s mostly just vitamins for energy, some kale and beet greens,” Bessie, my new medical assistant who apparently still moonlit here at BOOMfood Smoothie Bar, followed up. Then she looked at me, and added with crooked, dimpled smile, “But they say twenty minutes from now you might want to be someplace private.” 

Fuck.

Two of the girls across the table were both suddenly adjusting their tops, Stephanie biting her lower lip and Randi’s eyes flashing with mischief. Josie tossed her hair behind her shoulder and I could feel Shanette on my left draw in a deep breath and inch in toward me, closer with her big, softly chocolate breasts, presented lushly in low-cut top of white spandex. 

“Haha what? What’s happening?” Melissa asked, as I sat back and pushed the rest of the green, murky drink away from me, “What was in it?”

“It was Viagra,” I answered, kicking myself already for drinking the thing and watching Melissa dissolve into giggles along with the rest of her friends. How stupid am I? I marveled, but also wondering how a place like this could get away from serving medication on their menu? Yes, yes, sildenafil had been made non-prescription, placed over-the-counter just about a year ago, and it was widely available. But served in a smoothie at a chain restaurant?! And how could I have not asked to read the description on the take-out menu before downing nearly all of it?!

“And you had a double,” Bessie confirmed, “I’ve never been allowed to sell more than one to a customer before haha!” The girls sitting near us, at the counter along the wall, had turned to us to listen. 

Jesus. My erections, when they came these days, were already enormous and often painful. Yes, I had just orgasmed a couple hours ago but in my priapic state that didn’t count for much. I mean, I was sporting half chub already, just sitting here with these young beauties, with all their perfumes. What was going to happen to me tonight, now that I’d just ingested-

“How many milligrams are in this thing?” I asked Bessie, praying it was maybe a bit less than the low, non-Rx dose one could buy as a little blue pill at Rite-Aid. Like, 10mg or something. Even that could be potent, though. 

“In a ‘double’?” she replied, checking her tablet, apparently looking for the ingredients of ‘Boner Alert’, “I dunno, let me do my math…”

My brow furrowed. 

“Like…180?” she answered. 

“A hundred and eighty!!” I exclaimed, bringing a new round of laughter from the girls surrounding me, who were obviously finding great humor in my dismay. Christ! As a gerontologist, I’d prescribed a lot of sildenafil over the years, but never more than 100mg in a single dose…and even that was a lot. Normal prescription dosage was 25, maybe 50 milligrams. 

“Oh, sweetie, you didn’t finish the whhhole thing,” I heard Melissa offer in condolence, from my right. She giggled. 

“Yeah drink up,” Randi chided, pushing the small plastic cup with the remaining green stuff towards me. 

”I…I think I should probably leave?” I muttered, causing the whole tableful of girls to suddenly coo and close in around me.

“Nooooo….!” Shanette and the rest of them sang, as a new wave of perfume descended over me and I sat further back, resigning myself to what was about to come…

…

Ten minutes later, maybe fifteen, I was laughing. Jesus, what else was in that drink? I felt giddy, energized. No deadly boner yet. The girls around me were popping fried tofu squares from the plate Bessie had dropped off at the table. “On the house, something new on the menu, ” she said, but warned me not to have any. “Infused with energized estrogen,” she explained. Didn’t have to tell me twice! The girls seemed to love them, though.

“Mmmm you can really taste the saw palmetto…” someone commented. 

“So, Dr. J…” Randi asked, from across the table to my right. She was only part way through her second smoothie, and seemed to be resisting the plate of snacks. “You’ve always, like, hired girls, worked with women. Why?”

“Yeah, why?” asked Josie, chewing an “EstroBomb”. She’d removed her little black jacket and her surprisingly big breasts were still a tempting display across the table, as were Stephanie’s and Randi’s. Gosh, when had they all gotten so busty?

“Oh, uhh…I dunno…” I answered, taken a bit aback by the question, taking a sip of the diet coke Melissa had asked Bessie to get for me. 

“We know you’ve had affairs with other girls, over the years, at the office,” Randi continued, “There was the Deanna girl, Rina…now Melissa…”

I glanced over at Melissa, who smiled at me girlishly. No one was saying anything of the tryst Randi and I had had, how she’d seduced me in her car. Or Shanette in my apartment. Marisela in the waiting room. Or Morgan In my office, Lakshmi in the backseat…

“When you hire someone, is that what you’re thinking?” Randi pressed, “If they might eventually want to sleep with you?”

“What?! Haha n-no?” I blurted, my reply not sounding convincing enough, even to me. “I was m-married, remember..?”

The girls pushed on.

“Oh, c’mon…” 

“Be real…”

Melissa watched me intently. 

“Have you been looking for a particular kind of girl, over the years?” Randi asked, “Someone you hoped replied to your, like, job postings?”

“Uhhh…” I stammered, laughing nervously but feeling some weird sort of liquid courage bubbling up inside me. There was more than just phosphodiesterase inhibitors in that drink, for sure. 

“Dr. J what’s your ideal woman?” Randi finally asked, straightforward, staring me down. 

I looked her right in the eyes, meeting her sparkling amber gaze with my own, and actually felt a little crook of a smile curl onto my lips. ”I...I guess I do have a type, an ideal sort of woman that I, um, gravitate towards,” I began, not even considering that I was feeling the effects of the drink, buzzing a bit, loose of tongue. Dizzy, a bit, flushed. Amorous. 

”And just what is this ideal type, Dr. J?” Randi repeated. Girls were now, I saw, hanging on my every word…including all six-and-a-half feet of the bosomy brunette to my right. 

I paused to think. I turned to my right, glancing up at Melissa and smiled. The girls all saw it, I knew, and I felt it myself. It was not my usual reticent smile, not cautious or vague but a frank, unguarded, smile that flashed in my eyes and crinkled my usually bashful dimples. She looked down at me, expectant, and I before I answered Randi’s question I boldly lowered my hand to Melissa’s left thigh.

That second, that moment stretched out, my hand laying on her leg. First it was as if a static shock surged through the both of us, our bodies connecting where my questing hand met the silky soft sheath of skin surrounding her spectacular thigh. Hadn’t she been wearing leggings earlier? I thought for a brief sec; I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but apparently she’d - yikes - soaked through them at the movies, and had luckily had a pair of soft grey shorts in the car. Anyway, as I moved my hand slowly down her leg, the contrast between her soft skin and the solid muscle underneath was amazing. I began tracing the individual muscles of her quads with my hand, and felt Melissa obligingly flexing each one as I reached it, both of us now looking down. My hands looked so small against the backdrop of her huge, bare thigh.

”My ideal type?” I repeated, thoughtfully, as I looked back up into Melissa’s eyes, tawny and green in the light. I paused again to renew my smile. “I think I’m looking at her.”

At that, in perhaps my most foolheartedly bold move to date, I grabbed the small plastic cup of what was left of my boner smoothie and downed the remaining inch, thinking: 

My erection will be a tribute to her. 

“holy shit,” Josie said. 

The table erupted in a thunder of female sighs, moans, laughs and “awwwwws” and suddenly - after I saw golden lightning explode in her eyes - Melissa turned at the torso more fully towards me, wrapped two hands around my face and pulled me in for a kiss that shredded my guts. The world around us disappeared, sound and light vanishing as all at once my whole world was her mouth and lips and tongue and the taste of her and her breath. I groaned - that I could hear - loudly, and I think the girls around us cheered. 

Suddenly, I could feel the stirring in my own groin. Here it comes. Melissa’s mouth was still consuming mine, my tongue beaten back into my throat by the aggressive push of her own, but - jesus. I was used to being oversized in the schlong department, but had never felt this big before down there. Even at not-100%-full-mast the strain was quickly becoming unbearable against my pants. I needed suddenly to readjust and with - still not breaking our kiss - my free left hand I shed my last few trappings of modesty, frantically shifting the angle of my cock against my right thigh through my khakis and boxers. Hell’s bells, I thought to myself, as Melissa’s tongue continued to dominate mine, here it fucking comes. I suddenly felt a little unsteady, sitting there, could almost picture my circulation being redirected away from my brain and major organs and down towards my waist. Yes, my head was starting to swim a bit. As we kissed I was getting harder and harder and harder. I groaned again, this time not in the rapture of the tongue lock I was sharing with this most beautiful of women. I groaned because it had started to hurt. 

Melissa was the one to break our kiss. She looked down at me, into my eyes, and saw all she needed in my plaintive gaze. My erection surged again, from me just looking at her, and my jaw dropped open. 

“Ow,” I said, eyes narrowing. 

“Oh my god you poor thing,” she said, a breathless thrill in her voice, “I’m gonna get you home.”

=================================

[sunset-aria]

(Vent Art) "Just Draw For Myself"

For the folks wondering why I haven't been streaming art that isn't commissions as of late. 

When it comes to drawing for other people, the process feels nearly effortless. I can have trouble drafting or finishing a piece to my satisfaction sometimes, but I can take someone else's commission idea and bring it to life with clarity and accuracy enough that I often feel justified in bragging that I can "read a customer's mind". 

In the times that I've given myself the room to play with fanart, mostly Zelda-related, I've enjoyed the satisfaction of carving out a unique interpretation of something I find inspiring, from material that I'm deeply familiar with and that resonates with me. 

In recent months, I've been trying to pivot my workflow more towards leaving myself room in the week to do my own thing, to return to original characters and stories of mine that I've mostly left neglected, since most of my working time for years on end has been dedicated towards drawing things to make other people happy and to earn money. With how often I've mentioned to my husband, "I'd love to draw X", or "I really should go back to working on Y", I figured I'd have more than enough inspiration to fill the days in the week I've opened up for myself. 

That... hasn't really been the case. 

I'm not lacking for ideas, but the act of sitting down and creating for myself first and foremost has become foreign to me. I'm an artist motivated by praise from my customers and loved ones for rendering their ideas exactly as they see them.  And it feels like I've been doing it that way for so long, I've forgotten what it feels like to just enjoy working to build something I can call wholly mine. Even with the intentions of laying down a plan for an ambitious project, and structuring it how I might attempt a customer's piece, or inversely giving myself the freedom to experiment without the pressures of quality or customer expectations, my canvas becomes a blank wall standing in front of my will to create. I'll tell myself in the morning what I plan to work on for myself that day, but by the time I've sat down to put pen on tablet, the vision has faded. At best, I'll manage something small, but usually nothing at all, or I'll pivot to working on a commission instead.

Safe to say, re-learning to draw and paint for myself is still a work in progress. I know I can do it, because I've done it before, but it frustrates me to no end to struggle this hard to give myself the satisfaction I give to others so easily.

[grad604-haydenmiddleton]

20 OBJECTS WRITING CUT DOWN EVEN MORE (VER. 3)

Seraph of the End Manga

I watched the Seraph of the End anime for the first time when I was around 13 and ironically, I nearly didn’t finish it, but I’m really glad I stuck with it because now it’s one of my favourite pieces of media of all time.

Burts bees

I used to not take good care of my body at all and Lip balm is just a representation of the changes and routine I made to try and get better when I was depressed. I use lip balm all the time and it’s a simple self care thing that makes me feel better.

Washi tape

Washi tape is a staple at a lot of stationary shops and I can't handle the temptation and usually leave a stationary shop with something. I just like the aesthetics and patterns of washi tape that inspire some of my brightly coloured art, and sometimes I even digitally draw washi tape to emulate physical craft style.

Miffy wallet

Miffy is a rabbit character from the Netherlands and another character I enjoy collecting items from. This Miffy wallet is also a gift from my sister, as she’s always looking out for me and things I might enjoy, as she knows I’m a bit of a collector. Rabbits or rabbit features show up in my work a lot, almost as a representation of myself.

Tamagotchi

This is a Sanrio edition tamagotchi, which only ever came out in Japanese. My sister and I both had tamagotchis around 2010. I watch videos about the timeline and all about the different versions of tamagotchis that were made. It's a nostalgia thing and reminds me to put a childish 2000s flair into my work.

Stickers

I’m a collector, and my stack of sticker sheets is further proof. I get really nervous about using them. I want to keep all of them nice forever. A lot of the stickers are made by artists and often they’re made as merchandise for a show or cartoon I watch. It's been my dream to sell things like stickers myself.

Water cup

I have a love for water and hydrating, like all normal living things do. I genuinely believe drinking a lot more water and staying hydrated throughout the day has made me a happier, healthier person. Everything also just tastes better when drunk with a straw.

Converse

I wore fake Kmart Converse hundreds of times before finally investing in a pair of real Converse. I got them at my mum's insistence since she was sick of me getting blisters with the ill-fitting dupe. Shoes are extremely important to see the world in and to take inspiration from the world around me for my creative practice.

Pokémon cards

I have spent a crazy amount of money on my Pokémon card collection. But for me, it isn’t about pulling the crazy rare and expensive cards, it’s all about collecting the pretty cards or cards I find visually appealing. I collect these to appease my childhood self who wasn't allowed to buy Pokémon cards.

Ticket stubs

Here are some of the ticket stubs or receipts I’ve collected from going to shows. I keep these to preserve the memory of going out with friends or family to watch something. I really enjoy taking in the art and beauty of animated movie as inspiration for my own bright and bold creative style.

Keroppi figure

Keroppi is a frog from Sanrio, and I got this specific figure from a blind box, which means you’re not sure which design or character you’re going to get when you buy the box. I thought it was really cute that I got the one that is shown to be drawing just like a representation of me.

Sonny Angel

At first, I used to think Sonny Angels were creepy but the more I learned about them, the more I was swayed. Of course, they are also just a piece of expensive plastic that we buy and collect, but sometimes it’s about the simple pleasures in life.

Wacom

I got my first Wacom tablet when I was around 12 after borrowing my sister's far too much. I’m actually a horrible physical artist compared to my digital skills which you would think would crossover. This was the first step in taking me down the path of graphic design and helped me realise what I wanted to do for work later in life.

Testosterone

This is my medical prescription for testosterone. I go in every 3 weeks for an injection of this stuff. It took a lot of time to get to this point in my life, but I can confidently say it has made me a happier, more confident person to finally feel like I’m comfortable in my own skin. Cis or not. It’s important for us as people to express ourselves authentically.

Fuggler Box

This box once housed a fuggler, a funny, ugly creature. These toys are meant to be, well, ugly to an extent. They have interestingly shaped bodies, small beady eyeballs, and visible, semi-realistic-looking teeth! Despite the intent of them being made ugly, I find them quite endearing. I like this idea of finding the beautiful behind the ugly.

Grape Fanta

My love for artificial grape flavouring knows no bounds. I don’t even like real grapes! Fizzy drinks, soda, pop, whatever you want to call it, is one of my favourite things to drink as a treat. When I’m feeling down or I’m losing motivation, I treat myself to full strength, full sugar, definitely bad for me, soda.

He/Him Badge

I got this badge just before starting my transition. It was really hard to know inside that I was a man, but people around me didn’t know, which makes sense because I definitely don’t look like a typical man. To be honest, I don’t wear it very much anyway, as I became more confident in myself, and as long as I and the people close to me understood my identity, that’s what mattered most.

Splatoon Amiibo

Splatoon is a video game where you play as a 'squid kid’ (a kid who can also turn into a squid) and hang out in Inkopolis Square, shop for colourful streetwear fashion with unique abilities, and play games of turf war where yo try to paint the majority of the map in your team colour.

Dsi

The DSi was my first ever gaming console. I got it for Christmas one year from my nana when I was 7. This began my love for Nintendo and video games. I played a lot with my sister and they are fond memories. Video games go hand in hand with graphic design as they communicate a story visually and through a creative style.

Tote bag

I started buying tote bags for university thinking they would be cool and convenient. In actuality, they were inconvenient. I still have a considerable collection of them because I think they add to an outfit and you’ll typically see a tote bag as a creatives bag of choice, so I guess I’m just doing my duty as a designer.

[brot-writings]

I always dreamed of creating something magnificent. Something that people would lay their eyes on and marvel. a lighthouse draped so bright amongst the starscape of everyone else that no one could ignore it even if they wanted to. They wouldn’t want to though. 

But magnificence and marvels and masterpieces require time and dedication and craft that I long since realized isn’t me. I can’t even look at this screen long enough to purge my thoughts out in one sitting, much less hone a skill to the level of attention. I know that, but it hasn’t stopped me from clinging to trying outshine the stars anyway even when it falls apart before the scaffolding is even in place over and over again.

My drafts folder has three beginnings of stories or poems or ramblings or something or other that have been eroding to the tides for well over a month. I’ll think about them all the time, losing the smallest bits and pieces to the waves until the the spark that brought it to life is doused out.

There’s a drawing tablet buried in three months worth of dust sitting on the desk next to me that I spent way too much money on five months ago. A folder on my desktop that has twenty three files that I can’t bring myself to delete even though they laugh like thunder barely visible on the horizon.

I’ve got a package of Origami Paper in the little keyboard drawer with four hundred and sixty three pages inside watched over by a clan of nine nuns, six butterflies, four cats in various poses, three ducks, two mice, a jumping frog, and twelve lost souls deformed by shaking fingers. 

I don’t even want to think about all the outlines and first chapters sitting in my google docs. 

I still pull out the jumping frog every so often though. His name is Gerald. Every time I try to see how many jumps it takes to get from one end of my desk to the other. I just took a break to see and it only took three this time! usually it’s at least five. maybe I'll make him a friend to race with. I’ll name her Gertrude. 

When I logged back into this account for the first time since January 1, 2021 I drew a new profile picture for myself using that tablet because I wanted something cute and fun and I’ve had the nickname “I love bread” or “Bread man” from my internet friends for so long I needed to finally tangibalize it somehow. I really love the way the smile and the eye highlights turned out.

And now this little rambling that I started three months ago with just “I used to dream about being important” is actually something. and I definitely am not important in the sense I meant when I wrote that beginning but I think this collection of words and phrases can be. If I got the point across in the way I wanted to, I mean. I might not have though I’m still pretty new to this whole writing thing. (I’ll leave it in the tags if I confused you just to be sure.)

I just ordered one of those glass dip pens with a bunch of colors of ink and a leather notebook with an owl on the cover. I’ve always loved owls, they look so silly. I think it’ll be fun for a bit, even if no one sees it. Maybe I’ll draw a starscape inside. 

[livi-in-digital-circus]

I strongly agree.

But I think Glitch and Goose should finally decide together who TADC is for. Like you said, Goose wants it to be for a more mature audience, while Glitch's marketing makes it look more like it is for kids.

No wonder TADC often gets thrown in the same bag as Poppy Playtime and used for shitty stuff like content farms. The merch they sell is what attracts kids, even though their show/game is not something people that young should be watching. The problem is even worse in my country where bootleg plushies of Pomni and Catnap are sold next to bootleg plushies of characters from Bluey and Paw Patrol.

There's nothing wrong with creating something for adults with a cartoony aesthetic and "kid-friendly" characters. Take, for example, all those movies about killer dolls. But again, marketing is what makes the difference.

Another thing I want to point out is parents. It's up to them to decide whether or not what their children are watching is appropriate for them. I myself don't want my younger brother to watch TADC until he's much older, but he already knows the characters since I have a Ragatha plushie or because he saw Pomni in one of the games on his tablet. My mom works as a kindergarten teacher and some time ago I saw one of the kids in her group playing with a bootleg Jax plushie. She knows what TADC is, but it's weird that she didn't say anything about it, especially since she once complained about my brother drawing Pomni, Jax and Ragatha lol.

Goose isn't the only one in this situation. A lot of people can't help it if kids see their work. It's also very important to note that she's not the one who should check the age of every single TADC fan, but like I said before, this task belongs to the kids' parents.

As for the fault being on her side, all I can say is that she can't change the fandom, but she can always change herself and just stop with the s3x jokes. Young kids watch TADC, that happened, and we should just accept it instead of ignoring it and just throwing NSFW at them, which can have a huge influence on their minds.

I myself had a closer relationship with someone who was a bit older than me, and that someone got me into a terrible kind of h3ntai that made me a bit s3xually unstable at 13. But that was a different thing because this person was aware of how old I was and kept doing it until they turned 18 and realized they could go to jail for being a p3do (funny because I was about to turn 15 at the time, which is the legal age to have s3x in my country). I was manipulated, used and at the end of the day their friends and even their mother said it was all my fault. My birthday Bunnydoll one shot "PRWTSD" and the recent "The Abuse" are no coincidence (though the second one is more fictional).

But back to Goose and the minor she was talking to. This may sound a bit controversial, I'm not taking sides, but I feel a huge need to say this.

Can minors stop posting NSFW without indicating their age?

Goose had no idea how old this person was, but it was still bad of her to continue inappropriate conversations after she found out, that's undeniable. However, what I noticed while looking through this document is the fact that the said Adamas28 seemed to be interested in the NSFW stuff, also made inappropriate jokes, posted suggestive art and showed it to Goose, etc. as a minor. This makes the situation even more complicated, especially when none of them SEEMED to have a problem (in capital letters, since we don't know what was going on in their heads at the moment) with an adult and a minor talking about such things.

BUT WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT, this has happened in the past, Adamas stated this in their post about TADC and I hope both they and Goose have acknowledged their mistakes.

Still, we should remind Goose that there are children in the fandom, and I know she desperately wants them to leave, but there's NOTHING she can do about it. The only thing that can ultimately be done is to tell kids that they should show TADC and Goose's tweets to their parents and let them decide if it's appropriate for them or not.

That's all I wanted to say, thank you.

Minors please do not interact

The people compiling this document have been long time TADC fans who often check in for updates and had noticed a pattern of concerning behavior with Gooseworx that led us down a rabbithole. Gooseworx publicly had inappropriate convos on her twitter with someone she initially started talking to when they were 17 and she was 26. At one point the 17 year old made a post about their upcoming 18th birthday and, despite the history of inappropriate comments/interactions between the two, she replied to the post "how are you all so young??" and kept contact, where these types of convos continued. Gooseworx has also acknowledged the kids in her fanbase even before TADC in very gross ways + still makes sexual jokes/comments despite knowing who follows her. More details and screenshots are shown in the document below.

Mobile users please use the Google Docs app for readable screenshot quality

[michelle-is-writing]

Family Matters, Greg House

Word count: 1.7k~

In the time I’ve worked at Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital, some might say I'm the bubbly doctor in our group. Although I don’t know how true this might be, I do know everyone can agree I'm definitely more bubbly than doctor Gregory House, but that's for another day to discuss. I'm usually the one people send in to try and cheer up patients. Because of this, I mostly work in the pediatrics ward where young, sick children are. Sometimes, I have an easy time talking to the kids and making them happier, and sometimes, I don't; usually, when I'm upset, I have a hard time.

Right now, I'm having a very difficult time.

A young New Jersey girl at the age of 11 had developed mastoiditis, an infection that affects the mastoid bone above the ear and is typically caused by a middle ear infection. Usually, this all clears up, but sadly, this infection had grown to be so bad that the girl ended up with only twenty-three percent of her hearing left in the one ear. Although this is the case, I'm not having a hard time because of the girl's loss of hearing, no.

I have my own problems at the moment.

Since I'm working in the children's ward, I don't get to see Wilson or Greg as much as I want to. Despite Greg's tendency to be an asshole, he's still my best friend and not to mention that Wilson is the kind of guy anyone can talk to about anything. However, our schedules are all different, so, as I said: we don't get to see each other that often.

At least they're still in my life though. For my family, I can’t say the same. Recently, I've just lost the closest person to me in my family; although it wasn’t through death, but through immaturity and childishness. Because of this, all of my other family members have closed me out as well, causing me to be alone. With all of my friends busy and my family shutting me out, I have no one to talk to or enjoy time with... no one. I can't even get a boyfriend for Christ's sake, and it's not like the guy I have my eyes on actually likes me back. Greg is the type of guy you can easily fall in love with, yet at the same, you really shouldn't.

"Doctor (y/n)," the young girl by the name of Jessie states. Putting all my focus back on her, I remind myself not become distracted anymore today. This isn’t the first time, unfortunately. "Will my hearing ever return?"

I smile sadly at her and shake my head. "I'm sorry, Jessie," I tell her. "Your hearing in that ear won't return, but it's not a bad thing!" I assure her. She smiles in relief. "We can always get you a hearing aid, and that will help get your hearing back to normal again, but the wait might be a little long," I explain. "Is that okay with you?"

She nods her head at my question. "I'm okay with that, doctor (Y/n)," Jessie tells me, "I'll have my family help me until then," she smiles brightly. "You can always look up to your family, right?" She states, confident in her words.

Tears slowly rising to my eyes at the thought, I nod and quickly blink them away. "That's right," I tell her, still smiling. "And don't you ever forget it," looking toward her parents, I nod my head. "The discharge nurse will be here in a few moments with the papers. If you'll excuse me..."

Without another word, I quickly leave the room and walk as fast as I can to the nearest empty room. I prefer going to James’ office instead, but it's two floors away, and I don't want any awkward elevator trips. So, before I have a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway, I find an unlocked janitorial closet before walking in and closing the door behind me, ultimately sliding down the hardwood door once it's shut.

Sitting on the cold, tile floor, I begin sobbing as quiet as I can, my hand covering my mouth. I already had my family drama on my mind all day, but for that girl to unintentionally throw it back in my face? That was the frosting on top of the already leaning, three-layer cake.

Tears stream down my cheeks like raindrops as I cry my heart out. I can tell my cheeks are red by the sensation of heat I currently feel on them; my hands feel it too. I'm crying so hard my chest begins to heave up and down as if I were having a panic attack. Oh God, I can't have a panic attack. Not here, not now.

Behind me, I feel two knocks on the door, causing me to halt. The only problem is: the knock wasn't above me, it was where my back is against the door. Remind you, I'm currently sitting on the floor. The only way someone can knock that low is if there is a midget behind the door there or someone used something like a cane... it's Greg.

Slowly moving up a little, I shakily open the door and let the grey haired man in, watching as he looks at me with pity. I've never seen the confident doctor House look like this with anyone. It's like a... a totally different Greg.

Sitting down beside me against the door, Greg drops his cane beside him as he sighs and wraps his arm around me before gently tugging my body close to his. Shocked, I tense up, tears no longer pouring out of my eyes. Greg never comforts anyone like this. He always makes fun of them or says something that many people take offense to, but he never... he never cares. He always brushes it off his shoulder, yet for some reason, he seems like he actually cares this time.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his voice deep as usual with no emotion.

I wait a few seconds before lying. "Nothing important," I tell him, my voice wavering from my scattered emotions.

Pulling me back to face him, Greg looks me in the eye before sighing again. "I know you've been crying by the wet tears on your cheeks, slight puffiness, and redness to your eyes, and fast-paced breathing - and I don’t even have to be a doctor to notice that," he breaks down my current state, lifting an eyebrow. "Now, are you going to begrudgingly tell me what's wrong or do I need to stay in here with you until you finally give in to all my unrelenting sexiness."

His comment makes me laugh, causing a grimace of a smile to fall on House's lips. Out of all of us, I've been the only one to do that. I've been the only one to break Greg's stone exterior and interior. Plus, It doesn't help that I like Greg romantically. I like the fact that he's confident and witty; he's not afraid to be himself. Although, he can still be quite an ass to others, but to me, he’s always been nothing but kind. Even when I first started working here, he was still patient and sweet - a rare sight to everyone else. It used to hurt me to think he’ll never feel the same way as me, but I’ve gotten so used to that fact that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

"It's just... my family," I explain, Greg pushing my head back onto his shoulder as he holds me. At this point, I'm not shocked by anything he does. The infamous doctor could be high for all I know. He probably took a few Vicodin tablets before coming down here now that I think of it.

"They've completely... shut me out," I explain, shrugging as I rest my hand on his shoulder. "They never talk to me anymore, they've blocked me in any way of even trying to talk to them. My cousin just sent me an email last night telling me that I didn't need to contact them anymore as they no longer wanted me in their lives," I close my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Plus, I wish I could work with you guys again," I take a breath before saying the next thing. "I miss you."

A few seconds of silence pass before Greg leans down to my face level. Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by his own sapphire orbs, watching as he continually inches forward until his lips plant themselves on mine. Our eyes close at the same time in response to the touch of our lips, and they stay that way too. With my heart beating fast and a different fire in my cheeks, I instantly respond to his kiss while placing my hands on the sides of his face, feeling his hands attach themselves to my hips as I do so. We kiss until we have to breathe, both of us pulling apart simultaneously.

"They don't deserve you," Greg tells me, a little out of breath. "You are wonderful; a decent and kind human being, inside and out," he takes a small pause, flashing his blue eyes down to mine. "I never thought I’d say this, but… because of you, I think maybe not everyone is a horrible person and that maybe I can be a bit nicer a time or two," he then smiles at me, kissing me once more. "You have made me feel love believe it or not."

Smiling, I lean up to kiss his forehead before sitting back down and resting my head against his chest, my eyes cast upon him as he looks down at me. "You've also made me feel love," I confess to him, my voice shy. "I've grown to love you as well. You and your sarcastic comments and witty comebacks and your insults to apparent stupid people," for once, he laughs, making me grin. "I can't help but love it all."

After a few moments, Greg speaks up. "I know I can't be your entire family," he murmurs, holding me close. "But I can try to be your... your..." He draws on, clearly trying to come up with an appointed title for himself. After a few seconds, I giggle and cut him off.

"Boyfriend?" I ask, making him roll his eyes.

"I was going to say significant other," he argues, looking over to me. "The term boyfriend is so, well, childish," he complains, making me giggle.

Leaning closer, I peck his lips. "Good thing you have a childish mind," I tease him, pressing my lips to his one more time before he responds to my comment with something horrible or completely inappropriate. It is Doctor House we’re talking about, after all.

[thegalleonsnest]

INTERVIEW CHORDICAL Time to ask the artist questions.

Figured I make the most of my down time due to my tablet going on fritz and ordering a new one, so I went ahead and drew this out in my sketchbook for the authentic journalist sketch style. It probably looks a bit cleaner than the actual style, but only because I was using super light H pencils before outlining.

Anyway, I actually wrote out the interview months ago, but never got around to uploading it, so they’re down here if you wanna read! It’s a bit longer than the average interview, but hey, my oc, I do what I want lol.

Who are you?

My name is Chordical Gallopano. I’m an artist who just graduated, but art’s not exactly at the top of my priority list at the moment.

Why is that? Are you going through an art block?

Eh, kind of? I guess it’s a bit of a small burn out, but I’ve gotten over it for the most part. If anything, I’m taking some time off to focus on myself. I still draw here and there, just not all that often. Mostly been helping Gramble at his barn.

Why come to Snaktooth Island?

Actually, the main reason was because I won a vacation raffle! I never really have faith in those raffles, but I was just like, “eh, screw it,” and gave it a shot. I was slacked jawed when I got the call about it too, hehe.

Wait, Lizbert held a raffle?

Well, yes she did, but my situation’s different. I found out that Lizbert held her own raffle, and Shelda won that one. The raffle I won let me pick a vacation of my choosing, as long as it was within the country; and then I remembered hearing about Lizbert’s trip to Snaktooth. Honestly, I didn’t care what grumps were saying about Lizbert and her Bugsnax discovery being real or not. It gave me a reason to go with her on her expedition. Thank grump that Lizbert wasn’t super finicky with external raffles and let me come anyway!

So was there any other reason you picked Snaktooth?

Erm...um...The best way that I could put it is that...I needed to get away. I needed a break from some stuff. I...rather not talk about it, at least not on the record. I would appreciate that.

Thoughts on Bugsnax?

Gonna be real, I’m not that into them like the rest of the guys here. They’re more annoying to deal with...and they’re a bit unnerving.

What’s wrong with them? Don’t you eat them too?

I mean, yes, I do, but only when I really have to. I’m pretty sure you noticed but uh, I rather not be stuck with nubs for paws for a week. I can’t draw without my fingies, and sketch paper isn’t exactly built for bacon grease media. There’s a couple of bugsnax that give me claws or something to work with, but even still, I prefer my fuzzy paws instead of cheepoof dust.

What exactly makes them “unnerving” to you?

It’s...hard to pinpoint why, but something about them rubs me the wrong way. I mean, they only exist on this island, apparently, and they turn your arms and legs into food. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I would be one of those Grumpuses to yell “HOORAY” for having a weenie arm...At least they’re kind of cute as pets I guess.

Why did you leave town?

Honestly, the entire fight between Gramble and Wambus was something that hit its boiling point after being at each other’s throats for a while. They would constantly be fighting and bickering because of petty crap, and they wouldn’t settle things like adults! I had no choice but to basically be the mediator between them for months. It sucks. Even though I’m friends with both of them, I had to go with Gramble and help him.

What were they fighting about exactly?

If you’ve talked to Gramble already, he was right about one thing: Wambus broke into his barn and started snaknapping his little buddies. I actually SAW it happen too! Lizbert was only gone for a day; I get that we gotta eat, but what Wambus did was downright dirty. I just wish that they could just TALK about it instead of baring their fangs all the time. Otherwise, I don’t think we would have been in this mess to begin with.

Why did you go with Gramble and not Wambus?

Listen, Wambus is an older farmer grumpus, he can take care of himself. We’re still on good terms, but whatever beef he’s got with Gramble is between them. I’m just trying to mediate as best I can. I had to go help Gramble because have you SEEN the poor guy? He’s a wreck with how little sleep he gets! Not to mention he’s barely eating anything other than sauce and whatever science experiment Shelda had cooking up at the time! I’ve been helping out at his barn since almost the start, and I care about him...someone has to look after him.

Any info on Lizbert?

Lizbert is pretty cool, not gonna lie. I actually asked her if she needed any help documenting any of the Bugsnax and she’d let me go out with her and do live studies of them. I drew a good chunk of the bugsnax in her notes and helped keep them organized. For who she is, she is really encouraging and friendly. She would honestly be a good big sister if you let her, heh! She kept everyone fed from her hunts, but I don’t think she was keeping up with everyone. Like, socially, I mean.

Did she ever talk to the other Grumpuses?

Of course she did, but I don’t think she was really paying enough attention. It’s one thing to be a leader, but it’s another to actually listen to someone’s problems. I know she really cared about her partner, Eggabell, but I could tell she was a major priority most of the time. I think it’s because she spent more time hunting than actually being in town most of the time. If she had a break and someone else took over the hunting, I could see her spending time with the other Grumpuses, but as it stood, no one was willing to take her place. That’s probably why she did it anyway, in case they disappeared like she and Eggabell did.

Do you know what happened to Lizbert and Eggabell?

I wish I knew. The only thing I do know is that we were supposed to go to the mountains to document a few more Bugsnax and study some weird structures, but she ended up taking Eggabell instead. I know they had a falling out a few days beforehand, so maybe Lizbert decided that it would have been better if it was just the two of them so they could sort out their issues. But then that earthquake hit not too long after...Grump I hope they’re ok.

Thanks, Chordical. This was all very informative.

Hey, I’m glad I could give ya something to work with! If you ever need someone to talk to or just chill with for a bit, I’ll be hanging at Gramble’s. Bet we could compare some art notes while we’re at it!

[prisonhannibal]

What do you do when drawing becomes a source of anxiety/panic attacks?

Sorry if this is a weird question. I have no one to confide in. And I'm barely keeping it together trying to even take out my stylus and tablet from it's box. It's been months since I last drew anything. But I don't want to give up the only thing I'm good at in life. Because then, I'd be completely worthless. But I'm terrified.

not worthless, just struggling. sometimes the feeling just isn’t really there, I don’t think I even opened my art program between february and december 2019. it sucked, but it wasn’t the end of the world, I’m back to it now and now I draw every day. the way things are right now are never a prediction for how things will be every day forever.

I think you may be scaring yourself out of trying. like you put so much worth on drawing and tie that to your self worth that it becomes a barrier for even trying (like “what if I can’t do it or what if it turns out bad” in my experience thoughts like that make it feel easier to just not try) I don’t struggle with anxiety or panic attacks and I have no experience with it, but I can imagine something like that could give anxiety around the topic

I don’t know you and again, I don’t have experience with anxiety, but what helped me keep going with art was just to keep the bar extremely low. like telling myself that the drawing doesn’t have to be good, and I don’t have to draw for four hours. if I have an idea, just put it on paper like stick figures and leave it like that. or tell myself that I’m gonna sit down and draw for 20 minutes, and then I can stop. I find that this makes it a lot easier to start than if I’m just sitting down without a plan, often I end up drawing longer because I already started. but if not then I have 20 minutes more work or one sketch that I can continue working on next time, which makes it easier as well.

anything you can make at all is a win tbh, it’s all about creating and keeping the habit. the longer you avoid the scarier it can get. and like, you don’t have to get 100% into it, I think just doing a stick figure or 20 minutes of drawing on paper a couple times a week makes it easier to not get out of practice. also helped for me to carry a sketchbook in my backpack and just do a quick drawing whenever I saw something (like seeing someone bend their arm a certain way and going OH that’s how the joint moves, I have to draw it so I remember how that looks!) which wouldn’t be detailed at all it would be like 30 sec concept sketches. but 1. it keeps the habit going, 2. if you have ideas when you’re out, it’s more likely you’ll procrastinate or never do them if you’re like “i’ll do it when I get home”, and 3. you have something to continue working on, and I usually think it’s easier to continue a sketch than start a new thing. it might be easier to do traditional art too, less of a barrier, less associations for now probably as well

baby steps, be patient with yourself etc enjoy the process of making things instead of stressing yourself about what you should or should not be able to do. you are not worthless and neither is your art, and you are not worthless without your art either. things like this are hard, but you can get through it. good luck 🥰

[whimsicallyreading]

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

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[keibea]

Hey there, hope you’re having an amazing day and week! First of all I absolutely love all of your photos and you’re sims are stunning! 😍

I don’t know if you’ve answered this before but how do you edit your photos to look so amazing?? I’m trying to step up my photoshop game and would love some pointers! 💛

this is so kind of you to say, i might just cry 🤗🥰 thank you so much for taking the time to say this! i really appreciate it! honestly you made my day and week so thank you!! ❤💕

i have not actually answered this before, and i'm 100% happy to give pointers! i am still learning myself, so i will also leave a bunch of resources at the end of this post that really helped me, just because im really bad at explaining things at times, so i apologise in advance for that! i am also happy to make a video explaining all this, if that's easier for anyone, so if you would like that, please let me know and i will! i know lots of people are very visual learners so i truly am happy to!

1. Reshade is not necessary. I use reshade, but you do not need to, I know a lot of computers can't handle that and ive seen so many photos come out just as amazing without it. But, if you can use reshade, i like to use this preset by @breadcrumbss3 and usually any by the lovely @intramoon !! I use them all with the latest version of reshade (4.9.1) and tweak it (very rarely) if i need it to look different.

2. Topaz Clean is super helpful, and i use it a lot just to smooth everything out. it's especially good if you do a lot of gameplay pics and just want a quick little thing to do without having to do it manually. I would go here (sims 3 tutorial hub) to get it without having to...well...spend money we could use to buy things on the sims :) if you need a direct link to anything, let me know. i personally use this action set by avonlea, as i just have to click a button and it does it all for me. however, if you dont want to use topaz, you can get the same sort-of effect by reducing the noise, i found a tutorial here as well for you.

3. Shadows!! If you're doing edits shadows are really good at bringing some depth! i often over-do them whoops, but usually it just makes it look more real. i normally do a soft shadow over all the main parts of the face or body that need it, using the overlay blend layer before going into a harsher shadow for areas like the nose and edges of the mouth to define it more. for this i use a smaller brush and a brown-ish colour, with the multiplier blend layer. i will sometimes then blur it out using gaussian blur, depending on how harsh it is. there's a really good tutorial i watched for this that i'll link down below!

4. colouring and psds! there are so many out there, but usually i just play with the colours myself until i get what i like. but otherwise i'll use this big set of psds that come with a bunch of options.

5. hair strands! i love doing this, it's my favourite part!!! i have a drawing tablet, which makes it a bit easier to do but again sometimes mine can still look crazy when i over do it haha. if you would like to do hair strands and stuff, i use this brush set :)

Those are the main things i can think of, i hope it's at least somewhat helpful, i know im really bad at tutorials. a video would probably be easier to showcase things, but i wasn't sure if you wanted that. again im totally happy to do one if you'd like that! now these are some really good sources and tutorials that i use a lot (most are for the sims 4, but it's basically the same for the sims 3 too):

- TS4 Basic Editing Tutorial in Procreate (although most of these effects you can use in photoshop, which is what i did)

- Sims 4 | Screenshot Editing Tutorial

- Intramoon's tutorials

- This one by Pea-Milk is really good too!

- Lamatisse's Tutorial

- PeonyPyxels Tutorial

sorry about this mess, hope you could understand somewhat! thank you again for the lovely words. if you wanted to know about anything in particular, dont be afraid to ask again or pm me! have a beautiful day!

[theroundbartable]

Can you tell us what you have learnt a LOT from each art request you’ve done? This could be fun to read :D

Hello ^^ Sorry for he late reply hehe. I didn't know what to say. What do I learn? From the process itself? From the people that requested art? What I learned from my art? For my art? About my art? If my answer is weird or anything, feel free to ask a more specific question :3 I don't bite... usually XD I think what I learn each time I draw... Is that I need more patience. Like... more, a lot more patience. I keep rushing the pictures and end up staying in my comfort zone. Not focusing on details, because.... I am lazy af. I take like 3-5 hours per picture. The longest I've ever taken for a picture was ten hours in one day. I'm trying to take longer, but I get really lazy half way through XD Also I am bad at procrastinating. Kinda. I always want to have stuff done right away. This can be different, if a person asks for multiple requests. Then I procrastinate with a random limit. I think I did one after a year or smth. Not that I get many requests XD I just spend a lot of time on them. And it's still not enough. Time = quality in my case. (I need better time management. I spend all my free time drawing, writing and/or watching stuff lmo.) The thing I love about requests is that people tend to ask for animals and cuddles mostly :D It gives me the opportunity to challenge myself to do better, without worrying too much about the motives :D And without leaving my comfort zone entirely. Things I focus to improve on are always random. often it's anatomy and faces. Mostly faces though. But depending on the picture also clothing design (folds and stuff), Sometimes I really randomly wanna do backgrounds. Sometimes it's composition or character interaction. Whatever I focus on is likely to be the best developed part of the picture. The most detailed or has the most color and lighting effects and stuff like that. It's an unconscious thing, but it's funny to notice. When I upload a sketch, I usually focus on the idea itself more than it's development. Or line art. (I have never practiced line art digitally, rip me, I hate it.) When I post grayscale, then I was focusing on values. If I post a full color picture, it's mostly the vibe I'm going for. If the line strokes are bold and big, I was very impatient. If they are small and thin, then I probably abused my graphic tablet. I keep making the same layering mistakes XD I use the overlay layerin krita a lot, too. That's how I make the glowy effects. I love glowy effects.... which you wouldn't notice... at all *cough * Honestly... that's all I have to say to that. There is a lot I learn. But it's very specific art stuff that I can't fully describe, because it's mostly muscle memory related. You learn art by watching things and breaking them down into shapes. Anyone can do it, really. About anything. At least what I do. I've seen art that is so specific and wild that I have no idea how they can do it. I just do fanart sometimes, there is a big difference. I just happen to do art a lot more recently, because it's entertaining? I'm weird. I rather spend 10 hours staring at a screen and scratching the surface to make some random internet person happy, than play a game or do stuff that are actually fun XD I am, however, patient with myself. If my head requires a break, I can be strangely kind and forgiving. I know most artist start feeling bad. But like... art block is actually the constant state of mind. The motivated part is much more rare. And you cannot force it. That's why I try to keep myself content with my work as much as possible. So that I am happy to return to my work space :) I hope this answered some of your questions ^^ Feel free to ask more. :)

[therosefrontier]

Whumptober Day 5

No. 5 - I’VE GOT RED IN MY LEDGER

betrayal | misunderstanding | broken nose

+++

Genshin Impact | Zhongli and his memories

(crossposted to AO3)

+++

“I met with Azhdaha again yesterday.”

Zhongli started his story while seated on an old stone platform in Guili Plains, a low crumbling stone wall behind him, an ancient tablet the only company by his side. “Virtue grows tall like a tree, though there be shade it will flourish forever,” the dome-shaped tablet read. At times like these, he often wondered at what all the author of those words had in mind when she wrote that.

“I…assumed this would happen, one day. Elemental spirits are nigh immortal beings, and it would be foolishness to assume that a sealed spirit won’t some day find their way out.” Zhongli paused for a moment, his words feeling heavy on his tongue, as if someone really were here that he had to explain this too. “He…left, of his own accord,” he finally said. “His spirit is once again sealed in the mountain. Although, we may very well meet again. I simply might dare to hope that next time, it would be under better circumstances.”

“My life is nigh on eternal. I will go on with the infinite flow of time. And you, Morax... You too will live for many a day to come.”

But Azhdaha would never again be free. This…this was their contract.

Zhongli looked down at his hands and at the ground, the events of many centuries earlier being all too clear in his mind. The events of yesterday were but a brief addendum to what already happened. Azhdaha’s roar of rage and pain, his accusations of treachery, the underlying grim reality of knowing that all of Liyue could be in danger if he didn’t end this here and now…all of that happened, already. Yesterday, Azhdaha was divided, his rage and his benevolence split into two beings. The first time they fought, the benevolent and wise Azhdaha that he once knew was nowhere to be found.

“I never thought I’d be able to speak with him again, like he was. Well, it wasn’t his form necessarily: his consciousness had possessed a random human, but still, once his memories were regained, the words and the voice were most certainly his.” Zhongli smiled weakly. “I must admit, that despite the inherent peril of the situation leading up to this meeting, I was glad. To see him, that is. It…was as if he were still alive.”

 “Rex Lapis, we are at your command,” Moon Carver assured him with great gravity, he and Mountain Shaper and the other watching the approach of the rampaging earth dragon with a steeled gaze, ready to fight.

Rex Lapis hesitated only for a moment. Only for a moment did he allow his heart to twist in pain, did he allow his eyes to lose their vivacity as he looked down from the sky at the dragon who cursed his name through his own unfathomable anguish. There was no solution, he knew. Erosion was something that could not be reversed. But he didn’t want to believe it. Not for Azhdaha. He didn’t want to lose him, too.

“We will lure him into the cave underneath the mountain. Follow my lead.”

 Zhongli found Azhdaha as a spirit sealed deep in the earth, a simple but unique rock without sight or motion. His stirrings had been the cause of many earthquakes and tremblings, so Zhongli thought it fit to draw the spirit of stone up from the earth and grant his wish, to give him a chance to be free in the world outside. They made a contract, then. Zhongli always made a contract, with those he invited to join him. There was only one for him for which such an agreement was delayed…only because at first, he did not know what their partnership was even to be called. It was one of many ways that Guizhong confused him.

But for the great stone dragon, their agreement was clear. If Azhdaha ever endangered Liyue and brought ruin to order, he would once again be sealed in the dark.

Zhongli always kept true to his contracts.

 “Come, I wish to show you something,” Morax beckoned him with a slight smile, bringing his friend up to a ledge overlooking the waters, the sun setting over the mountains in the distance and washing the sky with color.

“What is this?” Azhdaha asked in a deep and booming voice, although its powerful aura was perhaps mitigated by the way he spoke with the curiosity of a child. “I have seen this water before; now it is different?”

Morax chuckled softly. “Take a moment and have a look.”

Azhdaha came up over the ledge with thundering steps. “Your sun looks different. The color has changed. Is it nearing death?”

“No, no, not at all,” Morax explained with a slight touch of amusement. “This is a sunset. The sun will soon disappear over the mountains. You asked last night why the light leaves the sky in such a way. So, I thought I’d bring you here to watch. Of course, the motion of the sun can be observed anywhere, but it carries a different effect, in some locations. The sun will change its color now, but after it disappears, it will come back the next day just as it was before.”

Azhdaha hummed in acknowledgement, then plopping down onto the grass with a shaking of the earth. “So now, we sit and watch?”

“Yes, I say we shall.”

 “Morax, how do I look? Unimposing? Like a true human?”

“You look very well,” Morax agreed with a smile. It was in an elemental spirit’s nature to be able to change shape and form, but this was Azhdaha’s first time doing it on his own. His human form wasn’t exactly all that ‘unimposing,’ being that of a man quite large and broad-shouldered, but he looked enough like a human, at least.

“Mm, that is acceptable.” Azhdaha put his newfound fists on his hips and looked down at the Guili Assembly plaza down below. “It is time to interweave myself with humankind. I wish to first try the foods that people keep telling me about. I do not see the appeal of this ‘Grilled Ticker Fish’ that Pervases speaks of, as it is merely a single fish, but I wish to obtain this first, so that I may give him my full opinion!”

“Sounds like a suitable plan,” Morax agreed with a nod. “Then, let’s not keep our human and adepti friends waiting.”

 Zhongli remembered his form then, strong with a youthful wonder that wizened into ancient wisdom over the passage of time. It was so startingly unlike the form half of him took yesterday, of a child with a bitter glare in her eyes.

“So here lies the wisdom of the gods? Destroy all deemed redundant, enlist tyrants to ravage the wilderness!” Jiu mocked in her (his) fury.

Zhongli had a contract to keep. He had to seal Azhdaha away. There was no choice.

“Is once not enough!? You would forsake me again!?”

It wasn’t what he wanted. But was there…really nothing he could have done? If he had stopped the humans from mining in the Chasm, if he had noticed the change in Azhdaha, if he had just taken the time out of his duties to pay him a visit, then maybe…

“Erosion ground Azhdaha’s consciousness into oblivion. Slowly, he forgot the face of his old friend, and his memories of defending Liyue Harbor disintegrated,” Azhdaha in Kun Jun’s vessel recounted his own story with a faint smile of regret.

Zhongli couldn’t stop erosion.

And yet…he mourned what came to pass.

Zhongli had known, for a very long time, that he would never again be able to mourn as a mortal would. Azhdaha was far from the only one he has lost to time and conflict. The name he called him, “Morax,” was a stark reminder of this, that name which he had walked away from a long time ago but never truly shed. Morax was a god of war, a slayer of thousands. Morax had for a long, long time grown used to the bloodshed that was Liyue’s reality, as god fought against god in the Archon War and sacrificed hoards of soldiers as pawns. Morax felt no disgust or horror when he walked through a battlefield after the fight was over, stepping over bodies and walking through pools of blood and entrails as he coldly assessed the damage done.

In some ways, Rex Lapis was no different. For that matter, neither was Zhongli. Although his thoughts on war had changed—he would avoid it through the employment of contracts and words, if at all possible—he could never feel the same revulsion towards death and bloodshed as a human would.

Rex Lapis saw many scores of yaksha and other adepti swear fealty to him over the millennia. They would give him their loyalty, and he would make a contract with them, and he would know, because of how many times it had happened already, that they might give their lives in his service. They might fall to the evil that plagues the land in battle, or they may be consumed by the very filth they faithfully eradicated. Rex Lapis did not consider their deaths to be meaningless, nor did he ever wish to sacrifice his subjects as a pawn of war, but…he might have accepted, at some point long ago, that such deaths were inevitable and necessary.

He could not mourn as a human would—or rather, as a human without authority might. A war god had to know, lest he be blind, that he was sending his people to possible death.

He bore that weight, and he accepted that responsibility.

But in that responsibility…what did that mean for Azhdaha? Whose soul was crushed not by the many battles they fought together, but by the erosion of the earth itself?

He was sealed forever by Zhongli’s own hands. That was their contract. That was justice.

He always kept his contracts. No matter the price, no matter what he had to do…even if it was a pact paid in blood with Celestia, he did what he must for the sake of Liyue…

But was it true? Did Zhongli, in that near-final meeting, betray Azhdaha?

“I did what I must,” he spoke again to the stone tablet, cold and motionless despite the warm words inscribed upon it. “Virtue grows tall like a tree, though there be shade it will flourish forever.” But how did one define what “virtue” meant? How much of this “shade” was acceptable? This increasing debt, made in blood…

“His anger, however, does seem justified, in a certain way.”

“Guizhong?” He looked up, a small drop forming in his near-human eyes. “Did I do the right thing?”

[rainyday-deer]

Hi so going through some of your tags and looking at your amazing edits and gifs, I was jw what app you used for it and maybe if you could give me some tips for editing?

Awh, thank you! That's v sweet!

When it comes to edits, I usually use PS CC 2018, and then whatever art program I'm using at the time (It used to be SAI, now it's Clip)

As for tips, uhhhh... I'm not the best at explaining things, but I'll do my best!

I'll use some of my favorites as examples because I think visuals help lmao

This one in particular is the product of me frankensteining a LOT of different parts. The characters are all from different scenes, so is the background, and even Rapunzel's mouth is from a different scene and wasn't originally part of the screencap her body was from. With edits, I try not to redraw a whole lot of pieces myself, esp if they're stylized a certain way (IE; Mouths, Eyes, accessories) and try to pull them from other screencaps I have. If I can find it in the show, i will use it, even if it's just as a base. They're almost always on their own layer.

The only thing I often draw on my own is Rapunzel's hair, and just the very ends, only when I'm giving her a hair cut, just because it's easier. This is usually also on its own layer, under the Punz cut out once I've erased her braid.

Sidenote: Changing things like eye and hair colors. It usually looks MUCH nicer and less... Obvious that you changed it if you sort of build the color up. Rapunzel's hair is changed to brown by using a hue layer first, and then a multiply layer at like 82% to get it as close to canon as I can without just slapping color over her hair and having to redraw things like details or texture or lighting that might already exist.

It's actually WAY simpler to cut out ALL of a character, and then change things on a separate layer from everything else, esp if I want to keep the background the same, or just don't want to disrupt it, OR need to have a group layer over it (like for changing hair colors/covering something up.)

It's ALSO way easier to just... slap the character or a different background, or find the same one without anyone in it (which is easier than you think, since characters move around, or when they leave an area, there's usually a frame or two of the BG on its own)

Of course, if that's not possible (like in the above), you can usually get away with clone stamping the bg underneath the cut out of the character to try and cover up any existing bits of what might still be there.

And also sometimes just shrinking it waaaay down makes it harder to see any bg inconsistencies-- Which is fine for things like icons, which is what this was originally for:

ALSO HANDY: Pay attention to the BGs lighting, and even if you're going to change it later, it's generally easier to change the lighting on EVERYTHING if the BG and Character already match:

The BG and both characters were already daylit, so it made matching them a lot easier. Not that it's IMPOSSIBLE, it's just WAY easier. (Compare Hector below, who was in darker lighting than the BG was initially. He took a lot longer to adjust just right.)

It also kind of helps to sort of study how characters are framed in the actual show? Pay attention to scaling, the horizon line, etc. Use things like blurring or scale to your advantage to give the impression of some sort of depth, so it just doesn't look like you slapped one character on top of another. Try to make eye contact! Try to see if you can make it look like something is happening! Play around, see what looks good!

ESPECIALLY play around and see what you can turn 100% into something else. The shadow demon was originally only Tromus' hands and arms. Goopy Punz there was once just a Normal Rapunzel cap. It's v handy to push and see what you can do.

I draw, so a lot of this stuff I'm already familiar with, and it helps a lot tbh, since I use what I know.

That said EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING is 10x easier if you have a tablet. You have better control over the lasso tool, the brushes, color picking.

I've always kind of looked at it as like... Digital paper dolls. Everything is its own piece, and it's fun to try and see what you can get away with.

[chaoslynx]

Hi! I'm curious, what's your art process like? I want to maybe learn some ways to learn better :') /gen /pos

Oh gosh, being asked this when I'm such a beginner is a little terrifying, but I'll try my best to answer!

Well, you see, my art process is quite complex but it all boils down to one thing: Ash Lynx. /j

Seriously though, here's kind of what I do! You can also see a timelapse of one of my first attempts at digital painting here on my Instagram (on the second slide)! I use a Wacom Intuos Small size tablet, and CSP on my laptop.

My first step is usually (not always) picking a reference. A couple of my pieces (like this one!) aren't from reference, but most are. I usually use stock photo websites like Unsplash to find references!

Say this is my reference. My first lines on the paper are to create a rough sketch based on it! Some of these end up rougher than others, but here's what my sketch looked like based on this image:

(Honestly, this is one of my nicer first sketches. Some of them are way rougher.) You can see that I didn't really want to deal with hands yet lol, so I kind of just roughed out where they are. Sometimes on the first sketch I'll rough out hair too, or other times I'll leave it like this.

If I'm trying a painting style, I make a more detailed first sketch, but skip the lineart step and go straight to color. I'm gonna discuss more about my lineart style here since I have more experience with it, but check out that Instagram post I linked to see kinda how I do painting!

Then I turn the sketch blue and do my lineart over it! Feel free to deviate from the sketch if things aren't working out. I often do lineart on several layers; like here, the eyes are on their own layer, as are the hands and camera. I think I overuse layers, though, so that's not for everyone lol. Here's what my final lineart looks like over the sketch!

Don't be afraid to redo lineart over and over. Sometimes I'll be like "maybe it'll look better with color!" and it never does 😭 So lineart is really important! It took SO many attempts to get his hands right on this one. I had the reference image open on my phone and was trying to draw pretty close to how the model in the stock image had her hands on the camera.

Next I hide the sketch layer and do flat colors. Sometimes I'll use the bucket tool for this, but a lot of times it doesn't work super well and I'll just color them in myself. Again I seriously overuse layers, so usually each flat color has its own layer. For black hair I usually switch the color wheel to blue, then pick something on the darker and grayer side.

Next up is lighting and shading! I have different strategies for this depending on the piece. Sometimes I use clipping layers over each color layer and just shade with the original color, shifted slightly on the color wheel. (I've been told not to shade in gray!)

For this one, though, I used a multiply layer for shading and an add glow for lighting. I knew I wanted to have a brick background, so I used an orangey-red color for the shading and lighting. I wanted my light coming from the upper left, so I kept that in mind. Then I lower the opacity on both until it looks decent! Here's with and without the lowered opacity. On this one I blended the shading and lighting layers in quite a bit, because I wanted it to look kind of soft.

On this one I also added blushies on his nose, ears, cheeks, and lips. I added a highlight on Eiji's hair (also on an add glow layer clipped to the hair color layer). I also put details into Eiji's eyes to make them sparkle! Here's zoomed in on his face so you can see the changes:

I added details on the camera to make it look a little more reflective and less boring, and to draw some attention to it.

For the background, I put a layer under Eiji and made it the dark red color I wanted. Then I put the bricks over it, blurred them, and reduced the opacity.

On this one I wanted the background to have kind of a grimy but ethereal effect, so I drew cracks along the bricks with reduced opacity, and drew specks of orange on an add glow with a really reduced opacity. I also added another lighting layer in front of Eiji but not clipped to him for the background lighting. Then I just added a noise layer with super reduced opacity, and put my watermark on it with an overlay layer!

Here's how the final piece turned out:

I hope this is helpful! I've only been drawing for a few months so I definitely have a lot to learn still. Let me know if you have any questions. (That's open to anyone!) Also if anyone has advice for me and/or this anon, I'm sure we'd both appreciate that! 💖💖💖