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#I never wanna be this person but. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT
k6tzie · 2 days
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COD P☆RN LINKS | PT. 3
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ghost: always so quiet and reserved, seeing you like this is refreshing. so humane having ur guts rearranged after doubting your lieutenants skills! dove, you're so needy. but luckily for you, you have a patient, big bf came back from prices' baby shower now u and si want a baby of ur own, but u can't wait:( doughy ass bouncing on his long cock that no one's sucked in over a year, thankfully now ur here! sharing the captains daughter with soap<3 trusting is hard for him, so once he has you, he doesn't wanna let go warm winter fuck with ur gentle boy price: once you taught olderbf!price how to make hotter videos, he thinks he's so much cooler but that old man lives within him💔i mean look how he's holding the phone! you feel a big, throbbing thing in your tummy, hopefully he doesn't press down on it D: when u took him to meet ur parents, you just looked too good not to fuck afterwards :( as much as he loves his quiet girls, he can't say no to a bubbly one night stand now can he he didn't wanna have to do this but this IS what bad girls get... dadsfriend!price taking you upstairs during the bbq. there's so many people so no one will hopefully notice ur gone... soap: totally something soap would do, fucking you levitating 😭 first time having a crush this intense, taking sneaky photos of you, drawing you in his sketchbook, leaving you little gifts anonymously - now that you gave him a chance, he's too shocked to even do anything! honestly his dream is hot gf x loser guy he's a messy boy who likes his sex quick! so so much cum dripping out, it's like your boys' in heaven filthy gym partner can't keep his hands to himself only one person can eat you this well when you're sick, soap! gaz: your drunk sex was so good, you won't forget it even when you're sober <3 appreciating that pussy with the love and tongue it deserves so wet and tight like ur ex boyfriend did nothing at all smh, must've been tiny deeeeep in ur gfs womb! pretty boy barely ever gets angry, but when price has been on his back the whole week, and now you're giving him attitude - he can't take it anymore! hot belly bulge - who would've thought from the serene, goofy guy? graves: ah, so THAT'S how you passed recruitment i see, interesting... what a baby, never been with a real woman. actually a very soft, sensual man. don't mistake him as rough cuz of how he acts at work lucky shadow of the week gets to record the barracks bunny and graves kept trying to draw milk out of you but he didn't realise not everyone just...lactates :(he can't stop rewatching this video y'all took, how your greedy pussy just swallows his dick whole :o purposely just teasing you so he can see u angry konig: an efficient way to wake up his beautiful baby✨ his cold tongue and your warm socks make an interesting contrast🤔 he caught you masturbating all by yourself and you didn't seem to reach ur full potential :( loser!konig coded, once he finally gets his rough hands on you, it's hard letting a beauty like you go ruined ur cute little panties smh, greedy big boy mean colonel punishing his secret fuck buddy after he found out you've started talking to another person💢 bonus!!: surprise ;)
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@xtrrdnrypotato @livingdead-g1rl
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kiddiesmores · 3 days
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𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐝𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞: 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥
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𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐞: bello! this is the prequel to the college ted smut fic LOLL, this is gonna be a cute little series. more headaconish if anything, everyone say thank you @michibap !! this series is less edited, and i’ll talk abt them as i please, but if you ask for more i’ll probably tell u more abt them so, you never know. ok enjoy!
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smutty towards the end.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k
and as always!! dividers by @cafekitsune
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Ted was the RA of your hallway yalls freshman year
At your first meeting you kinda sat in the chair with your roommate next to you a little geeked out
Those stupid glasses and collared shirt had a grip on you it really did
But outside of the occasional room check (which he literally does nothing but stand and look side to side before leaving) you don’t see him much
However on your walk home from your friend's dorm across campus, your roommate gave you a heads up that she’s having a person over, and if you could stall an extra 30 minutes or so that would be great.
Whatever, you’ll hang out in the common area
That was at 9pm. It’s 11.
And you’ve blown this girls phone up and fucking nothing, and it’s not like you’re not LITERALLY RIGHT OUTSIDE THE ROOM so you know whoever it is hasn’t left yet.
And you’ll be damned if you sleep in room with your roommate and her victim of the week.
So you decide to suck it up and text your friends who’s dorm you were just at and asking if you could sleep on the floor tonight and just bitch at her tomorrow
“You locked out?”
Your angel, saving grace, Ted Nivison
“Nah just um, trying to be a good roommate.” you joke, pointing at the pink scrunchy on the doorknob that your roommate used to signal she has someone of “importance” over
He laughs a bit to himself, “Well, I can keep you company, or better yet kick whoever it is out, yk, can’t have opposite sex over past 10pm and all”
You sigh, “I don’t even know if it’s a man in there or not so, we can hold off on that one”
He sets up next to you on the common area couch, “Then I guess I'm keeping you company.”
Your brow raises, “Don’t you have any RA duties to finish, like i dunno, loud sex complaints or people smoking out their shoe box?”
And he laughs again, you got this man giggling, you’re so in
“I’m off duty now, finished my last walk around so, you want me here or not?”
You pretend to think for a moment, “Yeah, you wanna see pics from my cadaver internship?”
“Forgot I'm on the floor with the freaks.”
From that point on you two were in contact with each other
Walking back from class and checking his door to see if the wheel on his door said he was inside or not before knocking
Always thinking it’s another resident but it’s just you with a bag of chick fil a from the student center and a stupid smile while sweat drips from your forehead
The two of you sitting in his floor sharing fries and discussing class and the drama from your opposing friend groups
Finding out he’s a theater and film kid from all the playbills and movie posters scattered across his single bedroom
Complaining about how it’s been months and you get no play and have to just suffer and live through your roommate
And he’s just eyeing you like 🌝
So yall start hooking up! for the plot
He was kinda waiting for you to just lean over and just start kissing him but a win is a win
Eventually you’d be sleeping over all the time and one night yall are watching a movie on his laptop
And he has an arm around you and just looks down at you like “Are we like?? Dating??” Cause atp it’s been going on for months
And you shrug and you’re like “We can be”
And he’s giddy but tries to stay cool about it
But the cuteness aggression gets to him and he just starts hugging you tight as fuck and rolling around violently and you’re like “bro chill” but you like it so it’s whatever
Fast forward to sophomore year and yall are out of the dorms thank fucking god
Yall end up living in the apartments close to campus where all of your older friends used to stay
But the real issue is debating if you’d wanna live TOGETHER or not
You decided against it because the thought of living with a man is driving you crazy, you get enough testosterone when you see him and schlatt together you don’t need that evil energy near you at all times
Speaking of Schlatt, that dumb ass sigma chi president
When you first met it was when Ted drug you to one of the parties they threw, something about getting the “full college experience” or something who knows
Schlatt approaches you both and he kinda looks at you funny?? So you look at him funny?? But you know that look, you’ve seen it from the girls and twinks in the Fine Arts building whenever you go in and sit with Ted before class starts
He wants your guy and now you’re on guard
You end up going shot for shot with him at the next party to assert your dominance over him but you both just end up drunk and shoeless down the road eating half frozen burritos he took from the house fridge
Ted notices you both are missing and tracks your location and drives to find you both sitting on a curb leaned against eachother
“How the fuck did you guys get here?? And what the fuck are you eating??”
“Rito..” you mumble, mouth full of tortilla and you even hand it to him as a peace offering
He sighs and takes a bite before lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder with a “hff” from you, and looking down to see Schlatt falling over since you were his ledge
“Get up man, you’re embarrassing the hoes” and Schlatts at full attention and stumbling to the car
So yall fucked with eachother after that, hangover the next morning went CRAAZY and yall sent each other snaps back and forth showing how fucked you both looked
When yall decided to get the apartments, schlatt was there, in Ted’s ear about how Tucker and Charlie would be happy to live with them if you didn’t want to
And you look at him like ???? cause since when was he moving into the apartments
“If I stay another year in that house and see those pledges everyday and hear them try to butter me up, I might burn the house down.”
“Type shit”
Even at separate houses Ted still loves to be in yours.
Sleepover? Yeah if it’s in your bed. Wanna fuck? Yeah but only in your bed.
Girl house energy is so much better than chuckle house.
You’ll wake up to him tucked into your side or laid on top of you, face in your neck and snoring softly.
No shirt on, hands on your hips and sleepy mumbling in your ear, you don’t even mind how hot his body temp is because he looks so precious on top of you.
Loves when you rub on his back and whisper his name to wake him up, slowly waking up and squinting at his lack of vision and because of how tired he is before smiling softly when he sees you.
Yall are so codependent it’s sickening.
Loves touching you, like LOVES IT. CRAVES IT.
When you’re out together he will have his hand on yours or hand on your waist or hip.
Hanging out with friends? He needs to be sitting next to you, thighs touching or head resting on top of yours, hands interlocked and kissing your fingers while staring at you softly while you speak.
Mornings after sleepovers he’s stood behind you while you cook or move about in the kitchen, hands around your waist and leaning against you while trying to force himself awake.
“You’re gonna make me trip if you don’t move Ted.” “Buh.”
Off chance you’re at his place, it’s never just you and him time. It’s you, Ted and Schlatt time.
You’re cuddling? Schlatt is sitting at the bottom of the bed or in the office chair at the desk on his phone. You wanna smoke? Schlatt is sat between you both as a footrest for you and someone to lean on for Ted.
Yall have a group chat called “Bottoms n Schlatt”
He always oddly fits in with you two.
You learn that he and Ted had a weird aura when they first met. Not knowing if they were just close friends or wanted each other but inevitably never doing anything about it.
And you only found out when one drunken night at a party you found your boyfriend and schlatt talking oddly close to each other in a corner, giggling and poking at each other while Schlatts hand tightly gripped your boyfriends hip to stop him from running from his playful gnawing.
But you weren’t upset at all! In all honesty it was hot! And it’s not like you and schlatt haven’t fooled around before.
That drunken night as yall sat on the curb was only the beginning.
It’s where he admitted his distaste for you because he thought you were stealing his bestfriend. And how he found you both so attractive it made him mad.
To which you replied, “Type shit” and let him kiss you, only stopping when he pulled back and grumbled about having to throw up, making you go “eugh” and rub his back as he did so.
You told Ted the next morning, a bit guilty as you guys had JUST started dating but he wasn’t phased at all.
“Did you like it?”
“Huh?” you mutter, still twiddling with your fingers anxiously. He smiled sweetly, slowly sliding his hand over to yours to interlock them, leaning in closer. “Did you like kissing him?”
You think for a second, dumbly blinking with slightly widened eyes. “I mean, for the 10 seconds before he had to hunch over I did..” “Eugh..” “I had the same reaction.”
He laughs and kisses your cheek, squeezing your hand before murmuring a low, “M’not mad, I think this is definitely a conversation for all three of us to have though.” To which you nod and softly kiss his lips.
To this day that conversation never happened. You all kinda just hit on each other whenever you were all together.
At a party and talking to Ted while stood next to Schlatt but Schlatt’s hand is on your hip as he sips his drink, and both their eyes are locked on you.
How you and Ted cuddled in an empty room while everyone else went crazy down stairs suddenly shifted to Schlatt sitting in the room with you guys quietly but then turned into all three of you sandwiched together, drunkingly giggling and whispering to eachother.
How you caught them making out in a dark corner and only whined because you wanted to be included.
To which they took turns kissing you while being passed around in their arms.
Multiple pictures in the digicam of you three, the taller two holding you up while you pout or the three of you teasingly sticking your tongues out at each other while the tips touch.
But your personal favorite, was the one of them both between your legs, smiling goofily with glistening lips and dazed eyes, Ted's glasses crooked.
It started off playful, you laid back in Schlatt’s arms and play fighting with ted, small kicks and giggly grunts as you tried to keep him away from you, only for Schlatt to end up holding you down while Ted tickles you.
Once the tickling stopped he’d lean up to kiss you, still between Schlatts legs as you kiss him back, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. You let out soft moans, starting to forget that you’re both quite literally between schlatts legs until he lets out a low huff, making you pull back with a trail of spit between your lips to look up at him.
“Well don’t let me stop you.”
Ted’s face ends up buried between your legs with Schlatt’s hands under your sweatshirt toying with your tits and locking you in a hot sloppy kiss, grunting into your mouth when you moan out for Ted.
Pinches your nipples and it makes your back arch, causing Ted to groan and rub his nose against your clit as he eats you out.
Schlatt marks up your neck, huffing in frustration because he needs MORE
Does a weird shuffle to move from under you, confusing you a bit because where are you going??
Regardless he manages to get from under you and lays you against the headboard, walking around to the end of the bed to join Ted between your legs.
Pushes his face over with his hand like “Move over.” “Guh”
Your eyes kinda widen because what are they gonna-oh wow.
TWO MOUTHS???
THEY’RE ALTERNATING
This is a planned attack, has to be.
Regardless you enjoy it, two mouths lapping at your cunt, two mouths to clean up the mess. Efficient!
In your haze you notice the digicam on the bed stand, shakily reaching over to grab it with a wicked smile.
The two of them are rutting against the bed and cleaning you up, Ted whimpering and Schlatts low groaning giving you a good contrast of the two.
“Say cheese boys!” you tease with a playful cunning smile, causing them both to look up and press a cheek to either of your thighs.
Both looking just as pitiful as the other, only difference is Ted’s glasses are all fucked up and he’s way redder than Schlatt is. But they enjoyed it an equal amount!
So yeah y'all are all kinda locked in after that.
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drewsprincessy · 1 day
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loving you was hard.
warnings: angst, anxiety, anger, comfort, arguing, crying, lmk if i missed any
summary: rafe and reader are in love, but rafe struggles to accept it, he doesnt believe in love.
part one
rafe cameron x female reader.
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you had fallen for rafe, hard. it started off with stealing glances at each other every so often, then it escalated to him asking for your number. you two talked every night, dusk til dawn until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. you were the only person he was gentle with, the only one he would give affection to, and even crack a smile with.
he caught himself re-reading your texts and smiling at them, going through your insta posts, checking your following, checking your location, and checking when you were last online.
he thought he just needed a quick hookup, and that was all. but no. the way you smile at him and your dimple pokes through your cheek, or maybe its the way your eyes light up when your excited about something.
he doesnt know what it is, but he cant fall in love. your not important, its just all in his head.
he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands as he thinks, he regains his composure, shaking his head to try and get rid of the thought. he lets out a long breath, and he stands up. he goes to smoke some weed.
he stops answering your calls, and even stops responding all together. he cant fall in love, he's not fit for a relationship. right?
your a mess. you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt the way that he ghosted you out of nowhere. but i mean you cant be mad, because your still just a hookup for him. right?
i mean you thought it'd be different because hes never met up with a girl more than once, you guys have even been on real dates. not just the ones where you have sex and not talk for another 2 weeks. you two had gotten to really know each other.
you were just confused, and hurt. you decided you were gonna try to let it go. try and move on, because theres always other men out there.
~
2 weeks pass
you were at home laying in your bed, you just had on a comfy tee shirt, and some yoga shorts.
you had been scrolling thru your phone, giggling at a video you seen on tiktok. you clicked on the comments and scrolled thru them, and you were giggling until a message popped up at the top of your screen. from rafe; your smile faintly drops as you click on the message
-
imessage:
rafe: been thinking about you. um, im really sorry for ditchin you n' shit. i just been going thru stuff and didnt wanna take it out on you. im sorry alright?
y/n: its okay rafe, i understand. call if you need anything. okay?
you were so understanding, and forgiving. even with the half ass apology he gave you, you still forgave him.
-
over the next few weeks, you and rafe start going out again, he fell more and more in love with you, and you felt the same about him. he had enough of it. he couldnt be falling for you.
he was high off drugs, and his breath reeked of alcohol. he was stumbling and could barely walk. there were crowds of people around him at the party he attended to.
you had also been there with rafe, but went off somewhere with kiara and sarah. you decided the topic of conversation was boring, and excused yourself with a "ill be right back." and went to find him.
he had went off into a room with some random chick, they were making out and her clothes were half off. you had almost stumbled on your feet when you walked in, your eyes had immediately began brimming with tears. to save yourself the embarrassment you walk off, quickly as possible. trying to get the hell out of there.
rafe comes outside to where you had walked off to, he immediately catches up to you since his legs were longer, and grabs your arm "whats your problem..why are you crying?" he says, trying not to slur his words
you decide, fuck it. he doesnt care anyway. "your my problem rafe. i fucking love you, i have for a long time. and you lead me on and act like you love me the same way, but then i find you about to hookup with some random girl, that you dont even know! like i dont even exist rafe, and im gonna be honest. that shit HURTS! im so sick of this, im sick of you, and your bullshit excuses, your half ass apologies. FUCK YOU!"
rafe feels a pang of guilt in his chest, even thru the alcohol and drugs. he still manages to muster up some excuse, hes trying to hide the way he feels. "i mean..y/n. what did you expect? i told you what the hell u were gettin into. i dont gain.. feelings. so quit being a damn crybaby"
it starts to rain, and you storm off, even when he yells your name, telling u to come back you dont listen. you kick your heels off, and walk all the way home in the pouring rain.
once u get home, you delete his number, and cry yourself to sleep.
he tries to act as if he doesnt care, he drinks until he passes out.
~
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓭
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jockwrites · 13 hours
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LUST - p.b
warnings: angst, cursing, straight people
part: 1
part: 2
a/n: if u can’t tell i love chase atlantic and i love to base writing off of music so..hehe
this will have smut.. but that’s a few chapters down hehe anyway i’m gonna post the second chapter like 10mins after this hahhahaha ok bye
today was the day. the day you’ve been dreading, but you know it’s for the best regardless.
you’re breaking up with your boyfriend.
for 3 months, you’ve been cheating on him. not only are you fucking another person, that person is a girl.
you’ve never called yourself gay, ever. you wouldn’t even consider the term bisexual.
but after you met paige bueckers, your whole world flipped upside down.
she was perfect, in every way. the way she touches you, looks at you, cares for you, every. little. thing.
she made you feel the way a man never has, or could.
but this wasn’t just hooking up to you, even if it was. to you, it felt like love.
the late night drives, long walks, beach trips, she even took you to disney world, a place you’ve been dreaming of since a child.
the first time you two hooked up was at a party. you didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.
you exchanged glances from time to time, she walked up, complimented your outfit, told you to meet her in the bathroom, & the rest is history.
it all happened way to fast. but it was like a fever dream. and you didn’t even care about the fact she was one of the biggest basketball players in America.
now the main reason you’re breaking up with your boyfriend? it’s because of paige.
she’s hated him since the beginning.
the night after the first hookup, you got her number. she shot you a text, but you told her it’s not something that can be continued because of your boyfriend.
God she hates that word.
you’d vent to her about him a lot. you’d mention his late texts, the constant back and forth between you and work. it was like he never made time for you.
but paige, oh paige. she always had time for you.
between water breaks at practice she’d text or facetime, when at events she calls, even in the locker room before games she sneaks to send you a little heart emoji or an “i’m gonna win for u. love you”
you loved it. actually, you love everything about her.
but the sad part is, your boyfriend is a good guy.
he doesn’t deserve this, and you know it. he can’t help it that he has a tight schedule. but it all feels so right.
as of right now, you’re driving to your boyfriends apartment. alongside the teary eyes and hurting heart, you can’t help but rethink for a minute.
is this what i want? is this what he would want? or is this just what paige wants?
but then again, you realized you want it. you want paige, you want every part of that woman. you love her.
as your car slowly approaches the building, you wipe your tears. you’re ready to face whatever he has to say to you. but the thing is, you have no excuse.
you don’t know what to say to him. you can’t just throw it on him that you’ve been cheating, with a woman.
you sit in the driver seat, thinking about the memories you’ve had with him. all of the good, the bad, it’s all to much for you.
but you have to keep in mind, you want this.
you regain you slowly regain composure, getting out of your car.
you walk into the building, getting on the elevator to go to his apartment.
as you approach the door, you take a few deep breaths. your thoughts are taking over, and that isn’t something you need right about now.
you knock twice, waiting for a response, or any type of noise that signifies he’s here.
as you hear the door knob unlock, you quickly put on a nervous smile.
“hi, jacob!” you exulted nervously.
“hey, what’re you doing here? i was just finishing up some work, so if you wanna come inside, you can.” he smiled, motioning for you to step in.
you walk in, hating this already.
as he closes the door, you turn around toward him.
“jacob, i need to talk to you about something.”
“what is it baby?” he said. “are you okay?”
“no, jacob. i’m not okay. that’s exactly why we need to talk..”
“okay well, sit down baby. you can talk to me about anything.” he smiled.
you sit down, tears ready to flow any second.
you hate this. you hate everything about this.
“jacob, first off, i just wanna say i love you. i love you so so much, and i hope this won’t change anything between us. i know it will, but i can only hope.” you cried.
“baby, baby.” he walked toward you, crouching down to your level to comfort you. “what’s wrong? why’re you crying baby? you can talk to me about anything.”
the problem is you can’t talk to him about anything. not after what you’ve done, or what you’re doing.
“i just want you to know it isn’t you, it’s me. it’s all my fault, and i don’t know what to do.” you whimpered
“what are you talking about?” he worried.
“i wanna end things. im so sorry.” you choked out.
“what? what do you mean? what’s happened?” you can hear the pain in his voice.
God make it stop.
“i cheated. i cheated and i don’t know how to make it up to you. im so sorry jacob, i didn’t mean for it to happen like this. one thing led to another and.. i don’t know how to explain it. but please believe me, i love you.” you rambled, tears streaming like a waterfall.
he sat there and stared at you. the look in his eyes, it hurts you. he seems so angry, hurt, disgusted.
you did this to yourself.
“are you serious? with who? i genuinely cannot believe this.. i love you. and you do this to me?” he rasped.
“i know, i know.” you whined, “im so ashamed. but i just feel happier with her.. i can’t help it.”
as soon as that word left your mouth you immediately back tracked.
“i mean- him. i feel happier with him.” you sobbed.
“her? are you serious? are you actually leaving me for a woman?” he fumed.
“how? how could you do this to me? after everything i’ve done for you. the things i’ve put to risk for you?!” the pain in his voice makes you want to kill your self.
you feel like a horrible person.
you are a horrible person.
“jacob. please hear me out-”
“no,” he cut off. “if she’s better than me then go be with her. i tried my best, and if it wasn’t enough then i hope she is. i hope she treats you better than i did.”
the problem is, that’s the truth.
she does treat you better, and it hurts you.
he’s not her.
“i’m sorry jacob. that’s all i can say.” you cried.
“she can take my place. she might appreciate your sense of humor, and she might just be as equally insane.” he huffed.
“i’m gonna go now. im sorry, i really am. and i love you.”
“i loved you too.”
loved.
you walk out, not looking back. the regret you’re feeling is heavy. but you have to keep reminding yourself,
you wanted this.
after a few minutes you make it back to your car. you get inside, and the first thing you decide to do is call paige.
“i did it.” you sniffle over the phone.
“i’m sorry, it’s gonna be okay. if you want, you can come over baby.” she spoke over the phone, her sympathy showing.
“on my way.”
_______________________________________________
“he didn’t deserve you. you know that.” paige says, comforting you softly.
for about a half hour, you’ve been laying in paige’s arms, pouring your heart out.
“i just feel like- like i made the wrong decision. but at the same time i love you paige.” you sob, your words muffled as your head lays in the crook of her neck.
“look at me. it’s not your fault. after everything you’ve told me, he was not the fit for you. i don’t wanna see you hurt by that moron, you don’t deserve it.” she expressed.
“you really care about me that much paige?”
“what? of course i do. you mean the world to me. i’ll love you forever and always.” she promised.
a/n: ok so this is bad lol but if u enjoyed read the next chap plz lol bye
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localicecreambiter · 2 days
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demi god LU time
the law of hyperfixations says you must combine interests at every given chance
adding a cut here as to not clog feeds!! its a real long post
i wanna hear thoughts too! so dont be afraid to comment. these are my personal opinions and i wanna hear if anyone agrees or disagrees :D (apologies for all the tags btw)
edit to add the stupid doodle
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the gods all have favorites, and ironically none of them are their own kids (save for hades: he loves his kid. doesn't make him a good parent, but you know?)
In a more Zelda timeline abiding setting; Originally they weren't all at camp halfblood at the same time, but time shenanigans decided they were to be brought together
Imagine Chiron’s surprise when 7 of his dead campers waltz into camp (this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME they enter camp. Dionysus is completely unfazed, knowing the bs time shit the gods are dealing with atm)
By the time they enter camp in Wild’s Hyrule for the second time he kinda understands (Wind and Sky didnt have a Camp Halfblood, for the record, for obvious reasons)
Alternatively, its some form of modern au where they’re just from different parts of Hyrule (skyloft, downfall, ordonia, windfall peninsula, hyrule town (different from castle town), the list goes on) which would make a lot more sense for this kinda au (the world would’ve just had a LOT of calamities within the span of a few years, some of the heroes knowing about camp and others not so much)
(i think Legend, Wars, Time, Wind (post WW) and Four would’ve known about Camp Halfblood while the others were just kinda on their own until after their quests) meaning over half of them didn’t have prophecies and just went to deal with the issue themselves, possibly meaning on their journey they learned of camp
Ok well, all of them but Wars, who grew up at Camp Halfblood
All Zelda’s are children of Athena, save for Skyward Sword Zelda since she's the reincarnation of Hylia (yeah, im keeping the original Zelda goddesses! What of it?)
At some point fairly early on, a Zelda only had a son, who got together with Athena at some point and boom
Sky: child of Zeus 
self explanatory 
God of the skies? his name is literally Sky
not to mention how fucking powerful he is?
he was the "first" Link; Zeus was technically the first God, it makes sense (this is such a stupid reason)
The skies are his home, Zeus finding someone on Skyloft and “falling in love” with their love of the sky too results in this bad boy right here
The demise fight? Only a zeus kid could harbor lightning like that
A camp counselor in the modern setting (ik typically once you’re 18, you’re no longer a camper really, but shhhh)
Wind: child of Poseidon 
Don't roll your eyes, i've got a reason!!
the 4 wind gods throw a fit anytime he's sent on a quest (they all love him even if they won't admit it)
A world purely ocean and islands? Poseidon would have a fuckin ball
The Great Sea needed a hero, Wind was brought about more for necessity than out of the want to have a child (this leaves a hard disconnect between wind and the gods, knowing his dad didn’t really have him out of love for his mom but because the world needed to be saved)
The irony of Poseidon being the patron of pegasi and horses and Wind not knowing what a horse is will never not be a funny thought
Has more control over the wind than he does the sea (for now) 
he, like Legend, pointedly ignores that he's a demi-god, especially since he comes after the Hero of Time (kinda hard to live up to that, even outside of a demi-god au)
The ocean and winds are his mood ring: you upset him the wind gods are after you
In a modern setting, the same reason applies kinda; a quest under the sea would be virtually impossible for anyone but a child of Poseidon, and hell knows a cyclopes isnt gonna be sent (gotta love those prophecies) 
OR!! OR AND HEAR ME OUT
Wind isnt a demigod
The wind gods still adore him, but he doesn't have the hero’s spirit and i think that’d kinda translate to not being a demigod, yet still being the one who was destined to go on the quest because there just weren't any demigods to do it
Still not set on which id go with
Legend: child of Hades 
Ah yes, child of the big three goes on so many quests trope. Love to see it
he's Apollo's favorite favorite (Warriors is jealous as hell. Thats his dad! Wdym he likes Legend more????) 
Pointedly ignores the fact he's a demigod (at least, he definitely tries to)
Blessed by (and beefing with) so many gods from his quests
probably one of the few heroes who's spoken to their godly parent (trust me, it was out of obligation rather than free will)
Prefers helping out the more minor, underappreciated, and not as needy or bitchy gods (like Hestia, for example)
curses the Olympians constantly, they've learned to ignore him, hes their best questing kid
Sort of a general camp counselor since Hades doesn't really have kids (its technically his last year but hes been there the longest out of everyone)
Managed to block the oracle over iris message
After his trip to the dark world and lorule, the gods go haywire around him, much to his delight (because it means they leave him alone)
Hyrule: child of Hecate 
adopted by Hermes (much to the dismay of all the Hermes children)
I was on the line between Hecate, Apollo, and Hermes; Hyrule’s affinity for magic and the blood curse resulted in Hecate to win 
Very detached from the gods, the help he receives is never outright but more subtle blessings
The gods like to ignore Downfall after Legend died tbh (outside of modern, obviously)
Well, they still ignore Downfall as a city/country. 
Only learned of camp thanks to Legend, otherwise he wouldn’t have had a clue it existed
Wild: child of Athena 
Also adopted by Hermes 
One of the more chaotic children of Athena
The idea of Athena being his godly parent sourced from his resourcefulness and quick battle (or just general) strategies, along with his pre-calamity self being stoic and more on the critical side
Completely forgot he was a demigod and just let loose, Athena is more than slightly perturbed by him and yet so infatuated
Supervises archery at camp
Warriors: child of Apollo 
exemplifies almost 0 traits of his father other than his looks and his affinity for medicine (shit archer, shit musician, can't write poetry)
blessed by Athena during the war since he was struggling so much, she always has a soft spot for the heros since they fight to protect her daughters so hard (aka pity blessing) 
Actively beefing with Ares 
Aphrodite likes to keep an eye on him, mostly for entertainment (she woulda eaten the whole Cia debacle UP)
Very notorious in camp considering he was a war captain at the ripe age of 17; once learning of the whole Camp Jupiter has apartments and college for half bloods insisted and led a project at CHB to get something similar built (which is where he, Sky and Twilight stay after turning 18)
Twilight: child of Demeter
His love for ranch animals and caring for his farm lead me to this decision
Also the whole wolf thing, that also counts
Appalled by the fact Wind doesn't know what a horse is considering he's literally the son of Poseidon (jealous the kid can talk to Epona and he can't)
After his journey to the twilight, the gods kinda flicker between Greek and Roman around him so they tend to avoid him like Legend
blessed/cursed by Lupa, hence the wolf thing
Teaches foraging lessons at camp
Four: child of Hephaestus
He's the smithy, I couldn’t not say he's a Hephaestus kid
received a lot less help from the gods since he was one of the first 
started advocating that heros receive help from the divine after LU concludes so those after him have a fighting chance (not in the modern setting)
I havent played many of his games, but the kinstones sound like a thing Hephaestus would scatter across the earth as scrap from his creations
Not one of the fire wielders (the only one that can wield fire is Red when split, mostly because of the elemental bs in minish cap)
After drawing the Four Sword, Janus (despite being roman (i like to think the four sword would be a roman artifact, it just feels right)) was suddenly pretty interested and bestowed what wisdom he had for the demi-god
Vulcan, Neptune, Aeolus, and Ceres all came together to forge the elemental stones; the Minish were still the ones to bestow the sword to Hylian people
The gods tend to avoid him too, for the same reason they avoid Twilight and Legend (dark world shenanigans and the Four Sword)
He loves the damn forge at CHB, and was ecstatic seeing the one at Camp Jupiter
He was asked by Chiron if he would be interested in running a forge class for young demigods (be it his siblings or anyone interested) but sadly declined 
Has that air of responsibility to him, being a seasoned quester (and while his 3 doesn't stand to Legend’s 6, its still pretty sizable) hes looked up to by the younger campers
Time: child of Demeter Kronos? 
The Kokiri were so Demeter core dont even tell me they werent
I guess they’d kinda act like nymphs and dryads in a sense??
His abilities use to relate to his mother until the events of his first quest: the Ocarina of Time was designed to slowly corrupt the user, being a creation of Kronos’
However, it wasn’t really designed with a demigod in mind sooo…
Also self explanatory, the titan of time? Duh… huh?? what do you mean he was taken over?? What do you mean he was a child of Demeter?? No he wasnt lol that Neverrr happened
the reason he's the only “child” of a titan is mainly because of the fierce deity mask literally making him god-like, meaning he has a lot more power harbored in him sooo (the second he dawned that mask he discarded his old identity for that of a titan’s child, since it was also cursed object)
Don’t ask how he came to being Kronos’ kin, no one knows, not even he does (I do) (no, it does not imply a Hylian wandered into Tarturus and got out alive to have the baby)
Avoids interacting with the gods at all costs, he's weary of them as they are of him (even if he saved the world twice)
Extras :)
Ravio: child of Pluto 
blessed by Minerva for his natural quick witted nature and clever war strategies, if her own daughter can't succeed she might as well make sure ONE does
can tell if a rupee is real or not by glance alone
Sheerow scares the fuck out of the gods, which in turn means Ravio puts them on edge, a thing very few can achieve
the gods never gave him much thought until the events of albw, to which he suddenly gained like four pair of godly eyes on him
can and will plan one of the worlds most successful heists, refuses to participate 
also beefing with Ares (not Mars, Ares)
Based on my personal HC that Ravio’s some sort of artificer (be it replicating magic dungeon items or just flat out creating new ones) i think Vulcan has his eyes on him too
Hilda: child of Minerva 
by far the strangest child Minerva ever birthed
exemplifies the traits of a hero rather than a ruler
a little jealous her mother likes Ravio more than her
gods be damned, she's not going to let them neglect her kingdom anymore 
a force of fucking nature that single handedly forced a meeting with the gods and somehow forced them to agree to start restoring Lorule (she got the idea from Legend, who has done this multiple times for multiple different reasons)
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chaifootsteps · 2 days
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It is absolutely wild to me that ALL THE STANS KNEW about the fucking incident and the driver was that he had likely doxed the person earlier before and drunk drove a car into their family member's workplace in a brazen attempt to fucking KILL THEIR FAMILY MEMBER. Yet they IMMEDITATLY SIDED WITH THE FUCKING DRIVER AND CLAIMED IT WAS FAKE. They immediately made it about the "hatedom" and side with a drunk driver because he also liked their show. This is outright fucking pathetic and straight evil. Someone could've died, someone DID get hurt, property was damaged and they just straight up don't fucking care because they live their entire lives on twitter and don't even realize how serious this situation is. SOMEONE COULD'VE DIED. IF THEIR RELATIVE WAS IN THAT OFFICE THEY WOULD BE WITHOUT THEIR FAMILY MEMBER BECAUSE OF SOME MANCHILD GETTING BUTHURT OVER A FUCKING OPINION ON SOME SHOW. To the stans since I know yall stalk this account, you ain't slick with it dumbasses. What I wanna say to you guys is to keep your own words to yourself cause you all lack so much fucking basic empathy it's absurd. I hope you never know a moment of peace for the rest of your lives. Fuck You. (Side Note to DJ, learn how google works you dumb bitch. If you're googling "car crashes" without specifying location it's gonna pull up news specific to your area. Just cause it didn't happen near you doesn't mean it didn't happen at all, you're in your 30s and still use the internet like a dementia ridden grandparent)
And because DJ's trying to pivot to "Weeh, Chai's being nice to Anons asking for more information, which is all I did," that is most certainly not what the usual suspects did. They did what they always do and screamed about the hatedom and that dang, dirty Chai.
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iniqiiiluvs · 21 hours
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In class right now and I don’t understand the assignment like at all soooo…
JJK TEACHERS AT AN AMERICAN (predominantly black) SCHOOL
Note:there’s only one mention of Hispanic kids in Nanami I had to add Hispanic people cause they got some fire music too ‼️🔥
Gojo
It’s 50/50 with him
Some kids love him and others not so much
Isn’t hated at all tho
Has a candy stash
Some kids come in at random times to get candy
Some kid would be arguing with him and they would start laughing randomly
Then the kid would get mad again cause he laughed but they’re just like fuck it and forget why they were ever mad in the first place
Got so happy when a kid dressed up as him for “dress up as a teacher day”
(I think that’s what it’s called )
He don’t take phones he just lets them and if they miss the lesson…Oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️
Nanami
Is so so so loved by the girls
With the boys..it’s 60/40
Some dude dapped him up and he was SOOOOOO Awkward
Will not stand for misogyny or racism (he would stand for anything discriminatory but as a teenage girl these are the things I hear the most)
A lil boy saying something about a girl in the class calling her a bop,bitch,or just being mean in general is a instant write up
Some edgy non black boys calling a black person the n word or making slave “jokes” is another write up
He don’t play about that shit
Loves the music the black and Hispanic kids put him on
Someone recommended “boogie wonderland” and he loves it sm
Is good with the kids with anger issues
Principal Yaga
Nope I’d say only 20% of students would like him and that’s being generous 💀
He’s funny sometimes
You’ll always hear a student talking shit about him
Yeah
Utahime
70/30
Also more popular with the girls
she’s unintentionally funny
Also one of those teachers who you would hear her name everywhere but you wouldn’t see her until later in the year lol
Always has music playing in her class
Strict but nice
Let’s students touch up their makeup
SHOKO
Let’s students with bad mental health stay at her office
Cares about all kinds of health fr
Never smokes on school grounds one cause it’s illegal and two she doesn’t wanna hurt her patients
Low key gets scared when kids come in from a fight
Not of them but fights be getting serious and she doesn’t want anything life threatening to happen
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superbattrash · 8 months
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I never truly knew rarepair hell until I tried finding fics about my current obsession only to realize there are leSS THAN 200 WORKS IN TOTAL
HALF OF THOSE ARE NOT IN ENGLISH
and I swear another 45% is omegaverse which… that’s great, but not what I wanna read when the canon vibe is what I was longing for
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s0fter-sin · 6 months
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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numbuh424 · 9 months
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the 2nd half of death note should've just gone full comedy complete with a laugh track and had these two dissing each other the whole time
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mandalora · 8 months
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Stolen from amidonexor, no one asked me either
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skyland2703 · 5 months
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…ok so I got inspired <3
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Thesis in the tags
#OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT#Amelia is probably the most jealous person to ever relationship.#but it comes naturally ONLY for Javi. she never got jealous while dating Ollie or any of the previous partners.#but when she started dating javi—something flipped a switch in her and BOI OH BOI DID SHE GET. JEALOUS. OF EVERYTHING.#which kinda sucks because Javi is a music sensation and POPULAR 😭#and she’s Horny. SO. so. SO. horny. like. maybe it’s the Rafkonian biology but if he wakes her up in the middle of the night#saying ‘babe I’m horny’ she just. fucking. would go down on him. then and there.#LIKE SHE WOULD SEE HIM TAKING A PEACEFUL BATH AND GO ‘i wanna fuck you slide over’#and the exhibitionist kink 😭😭 don’t even get me started on that.#Javi was always a mama’s boy so he is THE best at cooking. his mom is even better. (typical desi mom Rina 😭👍🏻)#and so he makes them food. and she does the dishes because his prosthetics don’t let him do watery work good.#Amelia isn’t good with lovey dovey words. Javi is a POET.#HE TOLD HER HE LOVED HER BY WRITING HER A SONG#AND TELLING HER ‘you are the very oxygen i breathe’.#and he waited for her confession for three years 😭 for her to fall in love with him and for her to tell him she loved him#and like#idk man#also she steals all of his clothes.#Javi got vvv annoyed once realising she doesn’t have ANY super loose sweatshirts and comfortable things to wear. not even pyjamas.#(she used to prefer sleeping naked) but ever since she discovered Javi’s oversized hoodies… that fit juuust perfectly. theresno going back.#ever#anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk :D#they’re sooooo in love your honor I cant~#power rangers#power rangers dino fury#amelia jones#Javi garcia#cosmic fury#power rangers cosmic fury#dino fury
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dreamsy990 · 6 days
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
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#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. россия or whatever
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ruvviks · 4 months
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toying with the idea of making yancey's friends not real. would that be too evil
#personal#hear me out. the diner is a mimic and it's toying with the entire town and making people oblivious and just. stuck in time metaphorically#it's known to make people hallucinate it's known to show things that aren't there. it can fuck with technology#yancey has. problems. he's sick with grief and pain and regret and sorrow from his past moving into a strange new town#and there's all these people there in the diner and they all remind him of some part of his life#stevie quite literally reminds him of his ex but stuck in the state before anything happened. stevie is a constant reminder of like#what could have been had they not crossed the line of getting together#his relationship with daphne (friendship mostly but he has a little crush on her at some point) is like#the romanticized version of the life he had in mind for him and his ex. yeah he gets a little bit insane with it but he loves very deeply#freddy is what he wished for his older brother to be like. their friendship is what he wishes he and his brother would be like#rafiq is basically yancey's ideal partner. yukiko reminds him of his younger sister#hell even teddy is connected to him because he and teddy are basically the same person. dealing with a situation very poorly#but teddy WOULD be real since he is part of CALAMITY so his connection to yancey if anything is like. on purpose#he is SUPPOSED to mirror yancey because that will make yancey realize things about himself#that only leaves morrigan as the only other real person in all of this. because she is the only one not connected to the diner#(freddy isn't either but since he's first introduced on the radio as radio host he is sort of connected to the town)#(in like a way the diner could influence that too. you know what i'm saying)#and morrigan's whole deal is that she's so so stuck in the past. trying to get back what is no more. and daphne is her sister#so daphne could even be a manifestation of yancey's and morrigan's shared grief#for yancey the romanticized relationship with his ex. for morrigan her sister who died in the wildfires#are you seeing my vision. the diner is defeated and it's just yancey morrigan and teddy. it's always been#no one else has been real the whole time. they've only interacted with one another or yancey. never with teddy or morrigan#(with exception of daphne who would have interacted with morrigan bc of shared manifestation)#and yancey acts like the others have never existed. because they haven't. and now that he's no longer#under the influence of the diner. he doesn't remember. haha#idk if i wanna go with this because some of them aren't as solidified as concepts as others but man. MANNNNN
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monachopism · 4 months
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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derelictheretic · 4 months
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almost started rambling about my no cult au in a rb instead I will ramble about it in my own tags like a sane person
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