#I needed to put this somewhere

[glitteris-mean]

Here's some writing for the void:

O Ares.

They call for me upon the battlefield, to paint an abstract of red. My heart aches, and at home sit my daughter and wife. I, by my lonesome, do not have the strength in neither my bones nor my heart to bring such terror to the field.

I am a simple man, with naught but a gun in my hand. I lay in the trenches, but I seldom shoot. The bangs in my head echo of the guns around, and sweat rolls down my neck and cheeks. Dirt clings to not only my uniform, but my heart and soul. I lay here for my country, yet I can not bring myself to fight.

Is it, O god of war, that deep inside my breast, where my heart lay, I do not find my women worth fighting for? I do not find my country worth it? I recognise a coward such as myself should not call upon you, yet alas I am. I know, O Ares, that you most likely do not have time for me, but I beg of you, from a man with a woman to another, from a man with a daughter to another, to give me the strength that may permit me to return home at the end.

I beg of you, O Ares, god of war, god of courage, to lend me some strength. A strength to keep my heart beating, and strength to shoot. A strength that may lend permission to my soul to keep going, and my heart to beat. And I understand if you do not wish to give such blessings to a man who can’t live on his own will alone, and I will not deny it. I am not a man who can live on his own in this time.

I believe I am a man who can survive, but I believe if I continue as I am now, I will return to my family as no more than a shell of my former self.

I ask of you, the Olympian god of war, Ares, to lend me your courage. To give me the strength to return to my wife and daughter as, if not as close as possible, to the man I left as. I am not a painter, and I have seldom wished to familiarise myself with the arts. Even now, I do not wish to. But I must.

I do not have a paint brush, nor do I have a standard canvas of white. But I do have a gun, a field of opposing men, and my own beating heart.

[heartz4shauna]

i put on my headphones

and higher up the volume

i look at my arm

the pained one

my scars are faded now

still there, less so

i look to the little black box

i know exactly what’s inside

my pain, my relief

i long for it

[just-observing-here]

Metal Sonic be like:

I am your mirror image

I move when you move

I act as you act

But when you talk I make no sound

I am not your echo

When you move away I stay in place

I am not your shadow

The people you know are not the people I know

I am not your friend

I am your mirror image

Your reflection

Your opposite

I am not you

Only a replica

Only a copy

I will never be you

[sunmoonyandstars]

I always feel annoying when I talk about my sexuality or gender because the environment I'm in most of the time treats being queer as the butt of a joke and something to mock and so even if I'm a safe space I feel like if I mention it I'll be seen as irritating and overbearing like I have so many good jokes but I don't want to be annoying

[madderruz]

[mariagreenwoodart]

Okay so happy mcm rambles incoming if you don't wanna read it just ignore

So I went to mcm London on Friday, and I loved it (except for the fact that my feet hurt but that's unimportant). I also met a new friend there! I had walked outside, looking for genshin cosplayers (because OF COURSE I was), when I met a beidou cosplayer. I was like "oh my goodness, I love your cosplay! Beidou's my favourite character! Can I have a hug and a picture?" and they were like "of course!" They were also leading the genshin meet! I was sitting next to them in the main picture, I was standing next to them and holding their arm when the others were taking group photos, I was talking to them about all sorts of genshin stuff (their favourite ship is beigguang too WOO), they even gave me their Instagram! (We're friends now :3) we also saw a ningguang cosplayer at the meet, so of course they were excited about that! I had so much fun at that meet (it was my first meet ever :3), and I hope I have that much fun at other cons!

[beewwebb]

[revengeofthelawn]

I’m rewatching Doctor Who with my wife and because of ✨therapy and healing my inner child/teen✨ it’s basically 2014 tumblr going on inside my head

[ubersea]

[escapefromnewyork1997]

my roommates are making me watch s*pernatural with them and this is basically how its going so far

[officialspec]

modern au but set in brisbane. is this anything

[chaosandwolves]

Me: two days in pain again

Yesterday it was way better

Today: yay pain free

The universe/my body:

Hey, how about feeling like you haven't slept and eaten in days and like even breathing is too exhausting of a task?

Well... Thanks I guess....

[desideriu-m]

going through heartbreak in a polyamorous relationship is so strange. there's a weird peace to it. before i get into a new relationship at all, there's an acknowledgment that it could only be for a short time, an understanding that seats itself deep and encourages me to enjoy these moments. the start of a new partnership is always exciting, but each shimmers in their own way, shines their own light; beginning to see how the pieces of your lives fit together, feeling the budding sensation of love, learning the intricacies of another soul, just existing in their presence and needing nothing more. and suddenly, those images are flashing by as if projected on an old film screen. the resolution is low, and the picture cuts out occasionally; it becomes abundantly clear that those idle daydreams are no longer a possible future, now a mere fantasy. then follows a power struggle between acceptance and grief, alternating waves of "this was always a possibility," and "i wanted more time."

i've worked hard to feel like i have a claim to grief. early on, i'd feel shame and almost anger at myself for feeling heartbreak over losing people. after all, i have a life partner. what right have i to be upset over someone wanting the same for themself? is it not selfish to want them to want that with me? but a loss is a loss, and i'm human. i'm trying to sit with it, and feel it, and be kind to myself. it just, it hurts. it hurts that even if i can see a happy, committed non-monogamous relationship with someone, that may just not be possible for them to envision. the knowledge that someone does care for me, and that's why they feel the need to pull away, is both a comfort and a twist of the knife. no amount of pre-emptive acceptance has prepared me for this feeling, yet, and i don't think it ever will.

[tencents121]

it sucks when you break up with someone you really loved because you both knew it wasn’t working out and if you tried to stay together you would just get more hurt and end up hating each other and you don’t want that because he’s a really good person and friend but as partners you just don’t work right but you still love him because he was your first kiss and such a good boyfriend but you were the problem because your mental health got in the way of communication and he understood but you were too scared to be understood and so you let each other go and now he has a girlfriend and all you can think of is what you lost but you’re also happy for him because you love him as a person and wish him the best but also you miss talking like you used to and you’re so fucking lonely and miss him so so much and a little part of you selfishly wants to drag him back in but a bigger part wants to keep him far away because he deserves better but he has his own problems and you keep wondering what if you guys had actually communicated about both your problems where would you be

[iamacolor]

the political mess that is France at the moment became even more messy when yesterday the leader of the historical right wing party called the Republicans announced on TV that he would consider an alliance with the main far right party for the next parliamentary elections to oppose the new alliance of the left (even though his party has historically been against any alliance with the far right - which he has said himself several times over the years - given that it was created to follow the ideology of Charles De Gaulle, who led the resistance army during ww2). But then most of his party said "we are absolutely not doing that", when the vice president reacted on TV she said "we're going to fire him, I don't know yet how we can do that since he's the head of the party but we'll find a way " and then the far-right leader confirmed the alliance while most of the republicans were saying no and some were even quitting. then today they tried to organise a council meeting to fire the president but he locked the doors of the headquarters so that no one could come in and he's inside while the rest of the party's leaders are outside and the main secretary announced he's fired and they've picked another interim president. so he posted about how the party's status don't allow the decision and so he's still the president. but now they apparently got a key and they're forcing the doors open. there's a new twist every 10 minutes

[ingoodjesst]

have you put the pieces together yet, detective