#I need to go back and revisit every arc the two of them have been in now with this Context. oh my god……

[cospinol]

Most insane line ever written

[rwbyrg]

RWBY Ship Parallels #1: Fear & Bravery

There are too many ship parallels to put them all in one meta, so I'll make individual posts as I remember them. The first one I want to tackle is how all the canon or hinted-at-being-canon ships all have pivotal moments where the themes of being afraid and/or having courage come up.

Some elaborations under the cut!

For starters, just for context to refer back to throughout the post, the definition of courage/bravery is as follows:

noun 1. the ability to do something that frightens one. 2. strength in the face of pain or grief.

I was initially going to list these chronologically, but we're going to do it on a ship by ship basis instead. First up:

Renora

The first incident for them happens all the way back in V4 during their backstory flashback. Ren underwent a small arc learning from his father that sometimes the worst action to take is not taking any action at all, even if it's scary. He then tries to support Nora by teaching her this same lesson: that they both need to be brave. She expresses vulnerability about how scared she is, Ren confesses to feeling the same, and together they decide to look after each other from that point on. Which makes everything just a bit less frightening.

We also revisit these same themes in their V8 confession. First we see Nora criticizing Ren for running away just because things got difficult:

And after Ren owns up to this cowardice, the things he did out of fear of failure, the conversation shifts. Nora admonishes herself, and Ren lists things off about her that he admires, the last of which - while not using the word itself - calls to how brave of a person she is and cites it as one of the main reasons why he loves her. Because as the definition above states, being strong and helping people without worrying about how much it might hurt you in turn is what it means to have courage.

WhiteKnight

Their heart-to-heart in V9E9 says it all. Weiss has been carrying the weight of failing to save Atlas since it fell, and after Ruby's actions in the episodes prior, she became aware (a bit too late) of how those same failures were weighing on their leader. So when Jaune acknowledges the harm he caused from trying so desperately not to repeat their past mistakes, Weiss is the perfect person to step up for reassurance.

She knows that their failures do not equate to their worth or all the good they're capable of doing. And reminding Jaune of this, calling him a brave and good person in spite of his failures, is what he needed to hear to be able to reach an acceptance he hadn't been able to achieve in all those years trapped alone in the Ever After.

(Also the framing parallel of BB and WK both holding each other is a very nice touch.)

Bumbleby

With BB it's not just one or two moments. Blake and Yang's characters both centre around the themes of cowardice and bravery since their beginnings and we see it come up throughout the show a lot. Back in V2, Yang sees the bravery in Blake when she herself can only focus on the opposite:

Blake: When you figured out I was a faunus I didn't know what to do, so I ran. when I realized my oldest partner had become a monster, I ran! Even my semblance... I was born with ability to leave behind a shadow of myself. An empty copy that takes the hit while I run away.

In V4 and 5 we see Yang struggling to get back on her feet after losing her arm and the trauma she endured at Beacon. Blake tells Sun that she sees Yang as the "embodiment of strength" and we, the audience, get to see the proof of this every time she keeps fighting despite shaking, and especially when she faces off with Raven in the finale.

These parallel arcs culminate with both of them facing off against Adam together, but most especially gets called back to in their mutual confession scene in V9:

Yang acknowledges what she saw in Blake all those years ago, that she doesn't give up on what matters to her, even when people hurt her, she still fights for what's important. While Blake acknowledges Yang's reliability, her strength, and her courage. And both of them, like Renora, cite these reasons as things they admire, and reasons why they love each other.

Now last, but certainly not least:

Rosegarden

One of the very first things Oscar says to Ozpin when he leaves the farm is that he's scared. This comes back time and time again, especially in the Atlas arc where Oscar spends so much of his time counselling Ironwood against letting his fear control him (a conflict Ruby is also a part of). Our little prince even has a theme song titled Fear to really drive it home.

Whereas Ruby has always been the poster child of "keep moving forward", no matter how much the trauma, stress, pressure, and grief weighs you down. You just have to be strong and keep pressing on, fighting the monster that took her mother away. No matter what.

So, much like BB, there are themes around bravery, fear, and perseverance that apply to both Ruby and Oscar's personal arcs. Both of them especially have focus on being brave despite fears of loss. With Oscar, it is fear of losing himself to the merge; whereas Ruby has a fear of losing those she loves.

All the way back in the infamous Dojo Scene is where we first see these themes addressed in their dynamic. It starts with Oscar expressing vulnerability to Ruby about how afraid he really is.

Ruby initially tries her usual strategy; surface level reassurances about just pushing through it... but it doesn't work on him. So after some upset from Oscar, she ends up being vulnerable with him too. Something she hadn't done with anyone else in show by that point.

Ruby admits that she's afraid too, not just for herself, but for the threat Salem poses to the world as they know it and the people within it. Ruby tells him about those she's lost and says that if it had been her instead, those friends would have kept fighting too. That vulnerability, which requires courage in and of itself, is what motivates and inspires Oscar to keep moving forward where Ruby's earlier attempt could not. The scene closes off with one more nod to these themes where Ruby pauses at the door and turns back with one final thought:

In both the above scene and the V4 finale, Ruby cites "fighting for those they've lost and those they haven't lost yet" as her main motive to keep fighting. Up until V8/9 she used this as her greatest source of strength, but that strength is a double edged sword which eventually became her greatest weakness when Neo used it against her. First trapping her in a room with all the people she "failed":

And then landing a finishing blow with making her kill lose one of the people she loves most: Oscar.

Ruby can be brave if it means she can protect the people she loves. But just as Penny's death dealt a very big hit to Ruby's hope, what little she had left was crushed at the thought of losing Oscar (and Little) too.

Aside from that, there has also always been an underlying mystery around what having silver eyes means for Ruby. In V4, she is hunted by Tyrian and in V8 she finds out what her fate would have been had he succeeded. A fate which very justifiably terrifies her and seems to be a theme that will carry on into the Vacuo arc. It is also something that was brought up in the second RWBY x JL movie, I talked about this a little bit in this meta, but I'll share it here as well. In the movie, Ruby opens up a bit about this fear saying the following:

“Did you know I lost my mom when I was a kid? I don’t know exactly what happened to her, I don’t really remember her, I just have stories. And I keep trying to live up to those stories, but… I realize they don’t matter anymore. Heroes fall. And I just want to get as much done as I possibly can before I do.”

This scene directly parallels one of Oscar's back in V6:

“I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be… me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”

Both of these scenes show their respective courage around fears related to their issues with identity. Oscar saying he will do whatever he can before he loses himself, and Ruby doing whatever she can before she loses her life as all heroes eventually will.

So to summarize: Renora, Whiteknight, Bumbleby, and Rosegarden all have a scene where one or both partners cite the other's bravery as something they admire or love about the other person. All of these ships also include at least one scene - but often more that just weren't listed here - where they open up and are vulnerable with each other about their fears and motivations. And lastly, with BB and RG especially, bravery and fear are central themes to both their relationship dynamics as well as their individual character arcs within those pairings, all of which narratively parallel each other extensively.

CRWBY is very consistent with how it writes its ships and this is only the tip of the iceberg of all the parallels we've seen between these partners so far. But that's all for now; thanks for reading!

[cozage]

Hi!! Can I request how they would behave with a shy s/o that didn't confess yet because of that and doesn't plan to do? They'll need to find out.

For Beckman, Lucci and Crocodile (If you can't do some of them it's fine!)

Thank you!! I love how you portrait OP boys!!

A/N: I can indulge you with Beckman, anon, but I have failed miserably in trying to connect with Lucci and Crocodile. Forgive me!!! Also I need to note that I am only at Wano Country arc. I know all these men show up briefly after Wano but I’m not there yet so maybe I’ll be able to revisit this with a more accurate description after I get caught up on the manga?

Characters: gn reader x Beckman

Cw:  bar scene, alcohol mention, little bit of angst

Total word count: 2k

A Life of Adventure

The Red-haired pirates had been coming to the bar you had worked at for about a month now, and every time Benn Beckman walked in through that door, your heart fluttered a bit. He sauntered over to the seat directly in front of you and sat down.

“The usual?” You asked, already pulling out a glass and filling it with top shelf whiskey. 

“You know me so well, and we’ve only just met.” He smirked at you from across the bar. “Are you stalking me?”

It was the same banter you two exchanged every night, and every night it made you blush. The pirates sat scattered throughout the bar, but Beckman always sat in front of wherever you were making drinks.  

You all had become quite close with each other in that time. Your eight-hour shifts ended frequently with you and Beckman strolling around the town, stargazing or night fishing. He always had some new adventure to show you, and you never wanted to turn him down. You had to admit, the pirate life seemed nice; you understood why he was a part of it. He managed to find and show you parts of the island you didn’t even know existed, even after living here for your entire life. You couldn’t wait to see what adventure he’d take you on today, tomorrow, and every other day they were here to shake up your life in your tiny island town.

“We’re leaving tomorrow morning,” Beckman said, breaking your thoughts.

“Leaving?” His words shocked you, and the glass in your hand dropped to the ground, shattering on impact. You stared at him with your mouth open, trying to process his words.

He just nodded, swirling the whiskey in his cup and then downing it all in one swig. He slid it back across the bar to you, and you reached out to grab it before it fell to the floor with the other glass. 

You quickly filled his glass and set it back down in front of him, and then excused yourself to search for a broom.

As soon as you got to the back room, you could feel the tears starting to form in your eyes, and you blinked them away, fanning your eyes to keep them dry. You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself, and then grabbed a broom and went to clean up the mess. 

You weren’t delusional. You knew pirates didn’t stay in one place forever. Being a pirate meant that they were free to go wherever they chose, and Beckman probably wouldn’t even remember your name in three months. They’d move on to another island and he would find another bartender to be friendly with, just like he had with you, and just like he probably had hundreds of times before. 

“Y/N?” It was Beckman, and he was peering over the counter to find you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah Beck, I’m fine. Just a bit clumsy.” You swept up the glass quickly and stood to face him, trying to push down your sadness. 

He smiled at you, and you thought for a second you saw some sadness in his eyes, but then he laughed. Whatever emotion you thought you had seen was gone now, most likely a manifestation of your own feelings.

“Think you can get off early tonight? I have a little adventure I want to take you on.”

You wanted to go; you really did. But the bar was packed tonight, and you couldn’t leave your coworkers short staffed. Plus, a small part of you knew if you went, his absence tomorrow would only hurt more.

You shook your head. “Sorry, not tonight. We’re already short-staffed as it is.”

“Not even for my last night?” You tried not to flinch at his words. His eyes watched you carefully, watching you while he took a sip of the whiskey in front of him.

You hesitated, looking around again. The bar was lively now, but it might calm down as the night went on. “Ask me in a few hours, mmkay?”

--

“It’s been a few hours,” the voice sang from your favorite seat in the bar, and you glanced over at the man you had slowly fallen for over the past few weeks as he spoke.

You had to admit, you were a little angry he had given you such short notice on his departure. If you had known it would be his last night, you would’ve taken off, maybe you would’ve been bold and asked him on a date. Something. Anything. You wanted to spend the whole evening with him, hopping fences and jumping streams to find the best view on the island like you had been the past few nights. You wanted one last adventure with him before he left.

But tonight was too busy for even a casual conversation with him. You zipped around the bar, pouring drinks and serving food to patrons who never stopped drinking and eating. You coworkers had tried to pick up a few of your tables when they realized your situation, but it still wasn’t enough for you to take a seat and talk with Beckman, let alone leave the building with him.

You gave him a regretful look and a sad smile and shook your head at him. “Sorry, Beck. We’re just too busy tonight.”

He nodded and turned his gaze down to his drink. He’d wait as long as he needed to have one last fleeting moment with you.

--

Beckman had met many people in his travels with the Red-Haired Pirates, and he had flirted with just about every single one of them. But you were different. You made him want to stay, or at least take you with him.

A strong arm wrapped around his neck, and his captain leaned into him “So, what are you going to do?”

Beckman sighed. “I’m sticking around for a bit longer, but you guys go ahead. I’ll be there tomorrow at first light.”

Shanks laughed loudly, his voice echoing around the bar. Beckman’s eyes glanced to you, but you were preoccupied with another customer.

“That’s not what I mean, Beckman. I mean what are you going to do about that?” Shank’s eyes slid over to you as well, and Beckman felt his stomach knot a little.

“What about it?”

“Don’t worry, I give you my blessing, you know.” Beckman could see Shank’s eyes still on you, and he was grinning mischievously, as if the captain knew something he didn’t.

Beckman was getting irritated by his captain’s riddle. “Give your blessing on what?”

“Whatever you want to do.”

“Captain-”

“Ask them to join. Or offer to stay. Whichever you want.”

Beckman’s face must’ve been a sight to behold, because Shanks began laughing again. This time, you glanced over to see what the ruckus was, and caught Beckman’s eye. You smiled and gave a small wave, and his face began to feel warm again.

“Come on, Beckman,” Shanks voice was now low in his ear as they both watched you. “I can tell you’re head over heels for that one. And Y/N is head over heels for you too. So just ask them to join us. Or stay here.”

Shanks sighed, pulling away from his first mate. “I’d prefer the first one, personally. I’d love to have another crew member, and I definitely don’t want to lose you. But the decision is yours.” And with those final words, the red-haired captain left Beckman alone with his thoughts and the opportunity to keep you close to him for a while longer.

--

He stayed until the bar closed down, and then waited outside for you while you cleaned up.

“Go! We’ll be fine!” Your coworkers called, pushing you out the door. There was still a lot of closing tasks to do, but they were insistent they didn’t need your help. So you gathered your things, and took a deep breath before you opened the door into the cool night.

He was there, leaning against the side of the building, waiting for you like he promised. When he heard the door open, his head tilted up, and that smile you had grown so familiar with appeared on his face.

“I hate that your last night on the island was spent waiting for me to get off,” you apologize to him, but he waves it off.  

“It’s no big deal. Come on, I’ve got a place to show you.”

You follow him through back streets and into the forest. You all don’t speak; you preferred the silence of the night while you all moved silently through the trees. After a few minutes of walking, you arrived at a small clearing. There was a lake on the far side, and the stars shone brilliantly overhead.

You had been here before, the two of you had found it on one of the first nights you had gone out exploring, but you hadn’t stopped long to enjoy it. Now though, you’re realizing you passed up an amazing view in search of a better one.

The two of you sat by the lake, and you listen to his stories of his adventures on the Grand Line. You tell him stories too, about your quiet and relatively uneventful life on the island. It’s amazing how you both can exist in the same part of the world and have such different experiences. You envied him, and you wondered if he envied you in any way.

“Are you happy here?” Beckman asks, and the question takes you by surprise. You turn to look at him, but he’s staring at the small fish that are swimming lazily at the lake’s edge.

“As happy as I can be.” That answer feels right to you. It’s not exactly the truth, but it’s not a lie either.

Beckman nods, and it’s silent for a while. You can see the night sky begin to lighten, and you realize the sun is starting to rise.

His voice comes again just as the sun starts to peek over the horizon. “Could you be happier? If you were somewhere else?”

Now is the time for you to tell him. All of the alarms are going off inside your head. Confess to him. Admit how much you long for an adventure. Tell him how exciting your life has been these past few weeks, how you desperately don’t want this to end. Beg him to stay, or ask him to take you with him.

But you can’t bring those words to form in your mouth. “Probably.” You curse yourself for such a simple and vague answer.

You risk a glance over at him, and you can see he’s still focused on the sunrise. Ships always leave at first light. He’s going to be late back to his crew, but he doesn’t appear to be concerned.

“Do you want to come with us?”

“Yes.” The words are out of your mouth before you even realize what he’s asking.

“Really?” He asks, not sure if he heard you correctly. He looks over at you, shocked by your immediate answer, and you blush deeply.

“Yes! Yes, Benn Beckman! Take me with you!”

His lips spread into a grin, and he stands quickly. His hand reaches down to take yours, and as you stand, he doesn’t let go. He pulls you along, back through the woods, through the town, and to the docks, never letting go of your hand until you reach the Red-Hair’s ship.

“Shall we?” He gestures to the plank that leads up to the deck, looking only at you. “Adventure awaits.”

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie

Unpopular Opinion

It's season 7 but it appears the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Disclaimer: These are my opinions and they're based on my observations and interpretations of the BTS pics, interviews and promos that have been released in advance of the upcoming episodes.

Back to the regularly scheduled program...

Eddie

It appears my favorite character Eddie Diaz is about to be sidelined yet again and he won't have a beneficial or substantive storyline 🤔🧐 all his own, possibly for the remainder of season 7. As usual, he'll be there to support Buck but is there anything else for Eddie? Can he please have a storyline that's solely about him and Chris and it not be one that's tied to giggly, creepy and smiling Marisol? He hasn't had one since season 3 and it's been four years therefore, it's time (I'm not including the shooting because the audience didn't see his recovery nor am I including his PTSD arc because it wasn't given the time it deserved and after 5x14 he wasn't shown going to therapy anymore so there's that. Furthermore, he wasn't even shown preparing to go back to the 118, he just slid down the fireman's pole in 5x18 and it wasn't revisited). Can Eddie and Chris FINALLY have an open and honest conversation about Shannon? Eddie views her through a pair of rose colored glasses because he thinks it's his fault but there were two people in their relationship so he shouldn't shoulder all the blame especially when she left and was gone for almost 2 years without a call to her son. A conversation between just the two of them is needed because Chris is older now and he read the letter she wrote in 7x1. The audience didn't see him ask Eddie any questions about it and we didn't see how he's feeling now that he knows she may not have ever returned if she hadn't died.

Eddie and Chris have the largest biological family of all the mains (not including Bobby because other than his deceased wife and two children, the audience hasn't been introduced to them... like ever) but for some reason they moved Eddie’s abuela back to El Paso even though his aunt has that big house that she lives in by herself. Also, the audience never gets to see Eddie’s sisters and with all the attention that's going to be given to Tommy in the upcoming episodes, it's likely the audience might not get to see them this time either. Eddie has a deep and interesting background but the show barely touches the surface of it. Can Eddie please be given a worthy storyline all on his own? He deserves it!

Buck

So... is the audience supposed to just forget everything that happened to Buck in season 6? Apparently, so because based on OS's multiple interviews, Buck’s not dwelling on the broken relationship with his parents (they're still $hitty, their rushed and trifiling redemption arc sucked and it was undeserved. I don't trust them but Buck does so, whatever), there hasn't been any more mentions of Connor's and Kameron's baby (Full Disclosure: I still don't believe their baby is biologically his but it's probably been forgotten or retconned like everything else including Buck’s age), does he or does he not still want to be captain? He's not in therapy and he may or may not go back but he's moved on from his death, so I guess there's no trauma resulting from it. How does he feel about his job now because... HE DIED while he was doing it in 6x10 but the audience didn't see him process it even though every other character processed their own individual traumas.

Eddie used a baseball bat to destroy his bedroom in 5x13, Maddie walked into the ocean in 5x12, Hen went to therapy after 3x8, Bobby broke his sobriety in 1x4, Athena broke down in season 5 after she killed Jeffrey and Chimney took Jee-Yun with him to find Maddie in 5x4 and they were gone for 6 months. They all went to therapy at some point but it appears Buck’s immune to the trauma he's experienced so there's that.

7x4 airs tomorrow and I'm still not excited about it. After the way 6x18 ended, I hoped things would be different but maybe my expectations were too high. I don't think so because IMO, the upcoming episodes seem to be repetitive and basically a wash, rinse, repeat of the past. Maybe it will be different... but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Will the rest of season 7 be different for Buck and Eddie or is the focus still going to be solely on Buck? Who knows except the showrunner, writers, producers, actors and actresses since they are the only ones who know the answer to that question.

[thephantomtheory]

A small note,

So as SnK is now officially ending, I just have a few thoughts I’d like to share — and in many ways, this is a thank-you note. I feel like this is a place where I can do that and no one will pass judgment on me for feeling so attached to a story (and forgive me, as I’m feeling very sentimental). So thank you, if you decide to read what I’ve written below. 

I was just 13 when I watched Attack on Titan for the first time, all the way back in 2013/2014. I remember my friend introducing me to it and I can still remember sitting on my bedroom floor while she showed me the first episode. Back then, it was such a different show. Or at least, we didn’t know that the story which was unfolding before us could only be told for the first time, once. There is no going back. Once you learn the truth of it, you can only return to realize that it was always this way, the signs were all there — you just didn’t know how to read them. What a way to tell a story. What a way to build a character, with that same approach. 

It’s been 10 years and my love for SnK has only grown as I have. I was 13 then, I’m almost 23 now, and so much has changed. Within all that change, I’ve always been able to revisit these beloved characters as every new chapter or season released. Despite the horrors they’ve endured, I found comfort in their perseverance. I grew up with them, and so as a new graduate, in which I’m watching my childhood sunsetting before me, it makes it twice as hard to say goodbye to them now. Sure, the manga ended 2 and 1/2 years ago, but there is such a sense of finality now that the anime is coming to a close as well. 

SnK is a masterpiece. In my opinion, it is one of the most brilliantly crafted stories I’ve ever read, and trust me — I’ve read a lot. As a writer, I look to stories, in any medium, as a foundation from which to build my own. I will look to SnK over and over again as a model for my own characters, my own arcs, and mostly as a way to answer the question: How do I tell the story I need to tell in a way that matters? Because at the end of the day, no matter how many flaws are littered within the pages of SnK, the story that’s being told matters. It matters to me, and I know it matters to so many of you, too. 

In many ways, the characters from SnK are my heroes. Truly, I often find myself wondering if I am acting with empathy and compassion the way Levi does. If I am able to grow and lead the way Jean does. If I’m allowing myself to be me, shamelessly, the way Hange does. I think about my relationship with my brother, and I think about Connie and Sasha — two halves of a whole. I try to love wholly, and fervently like Mikasa. I try not to doubt my abilities, the way I know Armin does so often and shouldn’t. Am I acting before I understand something? Can I hold onto my hope, breathe life into it, the way he embodies it? And every once in a while, I hear Eren in my head — fight. I have so many dreams and I’ll never get them if I cannot fight for them. I won’t live them if I don’t try. 

For what will I dedicate my heart? 

It has been such a pleasure to experience this story from beginning to end, to watch how it’s evolved and how it’s been received. And it’s been so humbling and beautiful to be able to experience it with all of you. It’s been so much fun. 

Here’s to many more years of loving this story, even when the dust on the shelf begins to settle. 

“Maybe the reason I was born was so that the three of us could be racing there. I thought the same thing when I read books at home on a rainy day. When a squirrel ate some nuts I gave it. When we all walked around the market, too. I felt it. That these trivial moments… might actually be precious.” - Armin Arlert

“I was very happy to spend time with readers that I would never have been able to experience if I lived a normal life. Also, now that the series is over and I’m free, I want to walk around an unfashionable town with a cup of sake in my hand. I think that’s what freedom is all about.” - Hajime Isayama 

See you later, Eren. 

[valkeakuulas]

Crosstech: "There's no going back if we do this."

Have some cuties being cute. 

95. “There’s no going back if we do this.”

The crooked grin 990 - no, Crosshair gave to Tech was as daring as one could give while missing two of their front teeth. “C’mon, you know you want to,” he cajoled, pale eyebrows waggling the tiniest bit. 

Tech pursed his lips, arms tightening around the datapad he was holding against his chest. “This plan has less than 27,9% chance of succeeding,” he said, needing to point out the odds that were against them. 

Crosshair’s grin only grew wider, his eyes sparking brightly even in the dimness of the barracks. “If you’re with me, I’ll take those odds,” he replied without a hesitation, offering his hand to Tech. 

Tech blinked, surprised and warmth pooling down into his belly at the trust the other cadet was placing on him, not even questioning how Tech had even managed to calculate such a thing. 

“There’s no going back if we do this,” he tried but he was already loosening one hand from around the datapad, reaching for Crosshair. 

“Only if hey’ll catch us,” Crosshair coaxed and the second Tech’s hand was in his own, he squeezed it reassuringly. 

Tech nodded, already adding modifications to the plan Crosshair had presented him with. “Only if they catch us.”

“Which they won’t.”

“... They won’t.”

** ** **

Later, years later, Tech would walk by a group of young cadets, huddled together, only to slow down when he heard what one of them was saying. 

“ - not a single cup or sticky spoon was found! Ten whole pallets of chocolate pudding had disappeared straight from the kitchens!  Without a single trace! The security feed had been scrubbed and none of the kitchen droids knew anything! The Kaminiise even woke a whole squad of Alpha clones to search for the culprits - ”

“No way! No Alpha ARC would spent their time in finding some stupid pudding thieves!” cried one of the cadets, voice full of disbelief. 

“You calling me a liar?!” the cadet who had been speaking raised their voice, clearly upset at being questioned. “Because I heard this from 8746, who heard it from CT-5555 and they heard it from one of the CCs themselves!”  

The sounds of squabbling made Tech unable to hear the reply from the second cadet, so he continued his walk. He couldn’t help but smile a little, fingers curling around the unopened chocolate pudding cup. 

Entering the Bad Batch’s barrakcs, Tech spotted Crosshair cleaning his rifle on his bunk. Nodding his greetings to Hunter and Wrecker, Tech made his way to the sniper, who lifted his head when Tech’s shadow fell on him. 

Tilting his head, Crosshair gave Tech a slow once over, mapping every detail of him before Crosshair’s eyes honed in on the pudding cup Tech was holding in his hand. 

A knowing smirk spread on Crosshair’s lips and he carefully put his sniper away, patting the spot next to him with his free hand. 

“Did you get caught?” the sniper asked, teasing, even as he took the offered sweet. 

Tech huffed, mock-insulted, as he sat next to Crosshair. “Despite the revisited security in the kitchens, the chances of getting caught are much lower than they used to be,” he informed somewhat-primly, leaning against the other man. He felt Crosshair shift a little so that he could support Tech properly while eating the pudding.

The scent of the artificial flavor they used to make the pudding mimic the taste of chocolate filled Tech’s nose, making him grimace a little.

How Crosshair could still eat them, Tech had no idea. He had gotten sick after half a pallet of pudding, while Crosshair had eaten his way through not just one but two whole pallets. 

But the way Crosshair lit every single time Tech kept sneaking him an extra pudding cup years after their daring little heist made the mild discomfort worth it. 

The cuddles were nice as well. 

And they might’ve found the little thiefs. 

Sighing, Tech closed his eyes, listening to Crosshair demolish the little pudding with pleased little hums. 

** ** ** **

A/N: There was never 10 pallets of chocolate pudding. Only four. You know how rumors tend to grow as time passes. But they DID get some Alpha ARCs involved with the mystery of The Missing Pudding Cups. 

The said Alphas (three of them) were highly amused about the whole thing and but also a little jealous that there had been no pudding cups when they’d been cadets. 

And they might, just might, have not reported anything to the Kaminoans.

They were given the last remaining one and half pallets of chocolate pudding.

[eemoo1o]

Shadow has never been stated to be 18 or 20 though, he has only ever been stated to be physically 15 /nm

(Long post ahead. Tags are also important in advance. I will admit this post spirals into a tangent on how this matter started as well as stuff about other characters, and despite all linking together under the same theme-gazebo, it kinda derails, so feel free to read at your own pace.)

I don’t know much about the games—and that may make you feel “oh then why are you..” yeah, I mean like I don’t check manuals or have played them but I watch analysis videos, avidly Google shit and revisit the wikis now and then.

Just putting that out there.

The Sonic News Network wiki page merely renders him as ageless, whereas the Sega Wiki wiki page (where I got my information from last post) stated three (kinda) ages for the character:

(Please note that the Wiki is themed in a darker grey to what the image is here. Same with the following. I turned the exposure up on each for visual clarity.)

Oh, look, they even included a canon birthdate!

Oh…

Well, I know Wikis aren’t always accurate, so to back up the apparent evidence I had, if I’m just to Google his age just to double check—

Hey! That’s the game, damnit.

Think this was my mistake in the previous reply, so I suppose I should apologise. And I do. I think my train of thought was: “He’s 18 years of age (y), with some range in other games (17-22y respectively)”, which isn’t right—but every source I could find on the character’s age came up with 18y and not 15y, so I stand by the claim that even though he’s “ageless” (immortal, basically) he’s physically 18.

It also doesn’t make much sense that he is “ageless”—perhaps due to his origins of being put into stasis like some sort of autobot, or something—when a physical age for him has been stated to be 18 (which makes sense, as Knuckles was, by technicality, the original Shadow, having been invented seven years before Shadow was, and as far as I remember is meant to be a year or two older (16 or 17) than Sonic (15)—it also makes sense because Rouge is also 18, apparently, and I’d have imagined them to be of very similar age). Technically that should just let him do an Edward Cullen and be 18 forever.

(I will note that I’ve never liked the prospect of Shadow being immortal. Or the duration it took for him to come out of stasis just to link to Dr. Robotnik somehow. Perhaps I’m just biased, but to me it feels heavily unjust—I wanted Shadow and Sonic carrying their rivalry all the way to the old folks’ home, damnit. And now that vision is ruined.)

Overall, being immortal really doesn’t suit Shadow’s character, in my opinion, and just feels like a plot point now simply discarded and forgotten. It really wasn’t necessary in the first place, and making him 18 (immortal or otherwise) would have been much easier, rather than the oh-so-enigmatic “ageless” genotype we all know and love today.

To remedy this, I like to think red-eyed Shadow is different to brown-eyed Shadow in the sense of age and therefore backstory. I made a post on it—in fact I think it’s probably the post right before this one on my blog—but currently my main focus is going to be on Prime, which is why I’m now so bitter about Shadow’s age, and Sonic character ages as a whole.

None of it really fits, and I think they all need to be updated (Sonic and Amy’s, especially). I mean, I know Amy’s was back in the day, but with how she’s depicted now as opposed to back then, even post-redesign (she went from an 8yo Sonic recolour to a 12yo what-we-know-now). I mean, I know her main, more “well regarded” character arc is learning how to mature, but with her literally being fucking 12 is just a pisstake.

Sonic’s age is less annoying as opposed to Shadow and Amy’s (respectively) because I don’t think too much into it until I notice it doesn’t suit him due to the situations he’s in. Yes, he’s young and he’s a teenager—a cocky one at that, which is one of the many good things Hardcore Sonic Fans (aka the “bronies” of this fandom, for lack of a more adequate word) praise Prime for depicting—so it’d make sense for him to be such (15yo), but to me it’s make much more sense for him to be like 16.

I’d be willing to say “maybe even 17”, but 16 just seems so perfect and on the nose. It’s such a nitpicky little detail but to me Sonic’s age wouldn’t seem so absurd if they just made him 16. It’d both make an immense difference and yet basically none at all that would force any impact on his characterisation.

Amy’s the most absurd—her age still hasn’t been updated from 12 and even though it’s an improvement from her being 8, it’s still ridiculous. If you’re (and by that, I mean the creators, not you, the anon) not going to change Sonic’s age, at least change hers. To me, she seems like she should be a year younger than Sonic at least.

Same could be said for Tails. To me he feels similar to Amy, or at least in the terms of arcs. He should be younger than Sonic, and either the same or younger than Amy, too. He’s still eight, and with how his character has evolved over the years, especially in the modern era, he needs to be just a mite older, like 12 or something.

I feel like Shadow’s age, I most have a problem with for literally being 50 (I don’t care if he’s “physically” 18 or whatever. He’s not Edward Cullen, although that too is also pretty creepy) and as for the coma thing, put it like this: if Timmy fell down the well at 8 years of age and woke up from his head-trauma-induced coma 50 years later, he isn’t automatically excused from picking fights or relationships with kids.

I added the “relationships” into it because this (the thing with the coma) seems to be the primary excuse for Sonadow shippers (I suppose with Rougeow it isn’t so bad because she’s canonically 18, probably to make her past sex appeal to humans somewhat legal, but still). I mean, I’ve seen the same being said for other ships, but not really. The primary ship seems to be for Sonadow, seeing as Amy’s age is always disregarded anyway, especially in the Sonamy side of the fandom.

Shadow was my favourite part in Prime, I’ll admit—I liked his banter with Sonic, and I liked his voice actor (oh, Ian Hanlin, how I love your vocal range so)—which is why my anger for Shadow’s age and backstory made a resurgence (it was either mid-last year or the one just before, where I went through a Sonic phase on my blog after revisiting Boom, and somewhere during that I’d said the same thing, although not to this much feedback from an anon/anons).

I also made the post about Shadow’s eyes because if noticed they were brown in Prime but didn’t really pick up on what exactly was off until I’d googled it. One could argue they’re red for TV as opposed to the games, but in Sonic X they’re red, like in the games, and in Sonic Boom they’re a more saturated colour, making them mostly dark red, borderline brown.

So, I assume as the modern era of Sonic-based media progresses/progressed, they’ve turned from brown to red. It’s subtle but I hope it says a lot. Mostly for his backstory, because god, do I hate Shadow’s backstory.

[brightbeautifulthings]

A ​Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir

"But sometimes, there is no reason. Sometimes you kill and you hate killing but you are a soldier through and through so you keep killing. Your friends die. Your lovers die. And what you have at the end of your life is not the surety that you did it for some grand reason, but the hard knowledge that something was taken from you and you also gave it away. And you know you will carry that weight with you always. For it is a regret that only death can relieve."

Year Read: 2023

Rating: 4/5

About: There are spoilers ahead for the rest of the series. Laia and Helene have allied against the dual threat of the Nightbringer and the Commandant, now self-proclaimed Empress of the Empire. As the Soul Catcher, Elias is forbidden to get involved in human conflicts, but when the Nightbringer's magic threatens the Waiting Place and all the souls who cross over there, he'll be forced to confront the human life he left behind to save the world as they know it. Trigger warnings: character death (on-page, graphic), war, genocide, fire/explosions, severe injury, violence, blood/gore, trauma.

Thoughts: This series has been all over the place for me. I adored the first book and slogged through the next two, which had too much filler and too little plot, but A ​Sky Beyond the Storm came back strong for me. Maybe it was that I took a year's break between them, but I found myself happy to be in this world with these characters again. Despite its size, the pace didn't often lag, and I found myself moving through it quickly. While I've come through a full realization since beginning this series (and others) that fantasy isn't my genre, and dystopian even less so, I enjoyed this one overall. (I also feel like readers could easily just... stop with the first book and be fine, so do with that what you will.)

My feelings about characters and plot elements remained pretty consistent. Laia is a strong character with plenty of development, but I disliked Elias as the Soul Catcher from the beginning, and it put a serious damper on my enthusiasm about their relationship. There's just so much unnecessary pining for characters we know are going to end up together (or dead, given Tahir doesn't have any qualms about hacking off major characters in this series). His chapters slowed things down for me, and they seemed to move things forward the least. Helene is still my favorite, and she has possibly the strongest arc of the series.

I'll admit I wasn't super invested in the stakes of this book. The plot gets a bit unwieldy, and the effect that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has on contemporary storytelling overall is really clear here. Not every story needs world-ending stakes to be interesting or effective, and I enjoyed the characters' smaller struggles more than this one. There's also the fact that I've just never found the Nightbringer compelling as a villain, and every attempt to redeem him or give him depth had me rolling my eyes. But, whatever. I'm a jaded old lady, well outside the target audience for these novels. There’s a strong theme about generational horrors and the way that more violence only perpetuates them that reminds me a lot of Laini Taylor’s books, and I suspect fans of those would enjoy these. If I'm ever going to revisit this series, it won’t be for the themes or world-building, but for the characters.

[filipinoizukuu]

hello mr simp do you have any thoughts on the leeks 👀

FIRST OF ALL. THEY CAME SO FUCKING EARLY??? BRO I WAS ASLEEP

SECOND OF ALL

holy SHIT YALL

Okay, it's no secret that I'm an All Might stan. I LOVE All Might. Very very much. Not just as a simp, but genuinely, I enjoy his character SO MUCH.

--And unlike what some people may think, I'm not totally blind to his flaws. I know he sucks as a mentor and that he's done way more harm to Deku than good. He's.... not perfect. in every sense of the word. The whole point of AM's character is that he is a DEEPLY FLAWED individual— but at the end of the day, still good.

This new chapter gave me SOOO many new feelings. I'm not gonna lie to y'all and say I was a Stain apologist beforehand because I wasn't. I disliked Stain to a certain degree, but I also knew he was morally grey enough that I was able to still quite appreciate him as a character. This chapter was about EVERYTHING to me because I honestly did NOT expect Hori to go in this direction and for things to happen the way they did. It was too good to be true! Too fanfic-y! The disbelief I felt when I read what happened was on par with when Bakugou and Deku had that apology and kinda-hug in the rain!

But this disbelief is not because it was a bad thing.

I think the writing in Chapter 326 is phenomenal. The moment that All Might was really beginning to lose hope in not just himself as a hero, but himself as a PERSON... we finally hear the opinion of someone who would abso-fucking-LUTELY make or break the last of his spirit.

Stain is, as much as his views are pretty agreeable and his label is that of a vigilante, still a pretty shitty guy. He's tried to kill literal kids who got in his way, even if said kids made pretty dumb decisions. AM hearing what he has to say is absolutely mind-boggling to him because he knows all of that. He knows Stain is a shitty person and that his worldview is perhaps terribly skewed. He knows Stain has spent a hot minute frying his brains down in Tartarus and isn't good at making judgment calls. Knows that for all intents and purposes, Stain's opinions are not to be trusted.

But the thing is... Toshinori also knows that Stain, regardless of the soundness of his mind, is telling the truth.

Regardless of how fucked-in-the-head Stain is, we as readers are able to acknowledge that he isn't blinded by hero worship. Sure, he's bitter, cynical, and quite the absolutist--but Stain is still clear-headed enough to be able to see AM's flaws for what they are and accept them, ultimately proving to Toshinori that the power of All Might was never his own but rather the legacy that he inspired.

The society MHA takes place in is flawed. We all know this. Heroes, as a concept, had been corrupted into being purely about good and evil. Purely winning fights for money or fame or the abstract concept of victory (coughs Endeavor and the no.1 spot coughs), making heroism as we know it about flashiness and power instead of mercy and the desire to help others.

All Might symbolizes the ideal version of the Hero Society. He represents doing the best you can. Being a hero until you reach your limits, and then going even past that. He symbolizes pure intention and the desire to be a hero not for material gains but because of the pure want to make society a better and safer place. Stain refers to Kamino Ward and the statue as a "holy land" because he believes that through and through, AM's only had the purest of intentions and morals. To him, Toshinori was like a deity that had no fault in making society what it was in the present because that accountability fell on the generations of heroes that failed to fulfill his legacy.

The point being, Stain understood that All Might was fundamentally not about 'being there' for everyone 24/7, but rather the message his presence had sent.

All Might's monologue at the beginning of the chapter essentially boiled down to the ideas that:

A. He regrets not being there properly for Deku

B. His image was a delusion that ultimately led to the downfall of hero society.

To break this down, his problem with Deku is his inability to be a competent mentor. It shows that he has led him down dangerous and horrible paths (Deku's stubbornness to do things by himself and his 'dark' arc post-war), and is unable to bring him back into the light even if he tries. It was only when Class 1-A had intervened that they were able to get Deku to rest and let people tag along, after all, which is why Toshinori was far too embarrassed to follow him into UA's walls even after everyone had come out with umbrellas.

Stain disproves this in two ways.

First, he says that it was never about All Might's ability to actually be there for people. The whole point of what inspired Deku to be the inherently good-hearted "true hero" he is today is because of the values that AM's brand had instilled in him as a child. AM's biggest positive impacts came from behind the screen where he was used as the proof that true heroes can and do exist. Deku does want to be exactly like All Might, yes, which is why we see Toshinori leading him down the same path that he walked--but the underlying message of this is that the very first thing All Might gave him even before OfA was the courage to help fix society.

I do believe Deku is an innately compassionate person. Most people in the series are. However, what makes All Might's smile so uniquely impactful to what it did to Hero Society is the way it gave people courage to help people. Less hesitation. Less bystander syndromes. The ability to move without thinking. Because you can feel the want to help a person, but the courage to be nosey and actually do it? That's portrayed as something AM's image teaches people.

The second way he disproves AM's insecurity of dragging Deku down is that he makes it clear that this pain is somewhat of a necessity in reforming society. He says, interestingly enough, that this is but the 'middle process' in reforming society. This spills over to how he addresses Problem B, but what Stain is essentially saying here is that this sort of brutality and isolation that Izuku faces is impermanent. A phase. It implies that even if Deku is struggling and Toshinori is unable to help him, it is something that needs to happen before they re-realize the ideal heroes All Might's image is meant to create.

The second problem in regards to how All Might feels about current society (how it's collapsing because of him, etc. etc.) is more interestingly addressed. There are many things that Stain says--like how Toshinori doesn't need to actually be the one to fix society with his bare hands. The current society is not his fault because of the fact that it is not finished developing. I'm not sure if I can go so far as to say that Stain means this in the sense of the Scorched Earth method of tearing everything down to build it back up better-- but I can say that Stain still has faith in society to rebuild after this period of chaos.

This rebuilding starts with the old generation of heroes correcting what they messed up (i.e. Endeavor v Dabi) and more importantly, paving the way for a better generation of heroes that was inspired by All Might's image. Heroes that are led by people like Deku, who is defined by his proclivity to help without thinking. The violent deconstruction of society is about exposing society to the raw truth of All Might's image that not everybody can be as strong as him-- which is why we have to take care of each other.

When the lady comes in to remove the sign and start cleaning the statue, it's symbolic. It's a clear metaphor that the past few chapters are the turning point for society as a whole, and how people are starting to remember what real heroism is. From the distrust that was seeded in society ever since LoV had surfaced, we are seeing that trust being returned TEN-FOLD now that people can see not only the mask of a hero's smile, but also the person underneath.

I think it's some really neat symbolism here too about how Deku, who's metal mouth guard was literally all about representing All Might's smile, is shed.

This is hero society dropping their masks. Letting people see them for as they are. Toshinori revisiting the statue in this form makes all the more impact because he shed his mask ages ago during the Kamino Bust, so this is him coming face to face with the image he's created and seeing the differences between them, and how his image continues to live on even after he's almost completely Quirkless. The lady cleaning the All Might statue shows off the fact that things can be repaired again--that society can be clean (hehe stain pun) again.

It's interesting to me here how Stain offers the information from Tartarus.

He doesn't care anymore about his life. It's evident. He disagrees with what the LoV is doing, but believes enough in Deku to think that it's time for him to retire the mantle of 'Stain'. Unless this is another test, it's very odd for me to hear that Stain is offering a blade and his life to someone he isn't even sure is All Might.

But the impact of this action reads loud and clear.

This is Stain taking pity on All Might. This is him realizing that All Might too is a person behind the hero. That Toshinori Yagi is incapable of doing anything past the image he had already created. By offering that knife and information on Tartarus, Stain is giving control back to Toshinori. He is giving AM the chance to do something big again to help society's reconstruction. To be a part of the revolution that he so badly deserves to see. That knife is essentially an exit ticket from the sidelines, and one last chance for All Might to be able to see what his image has done for people.

I personally think that the main reason Stain is willing to die then and there by Toshinori's hand, despite not being sure that he is All Might to begin with, is because of the final impact it creates that it isn't about Toshinori Yagi's true power as a person, but the image of All Might. It is because he looks like the symbol of peace, that Stain (the literal HERO KILLER) feels comfortable laying his life in his hands and giving away valuable information.

If that isn't a great testament to the power of AM's image, I don't know WHAT is.

I guess all I have to say is I absolutely love what Stain did in this chapter. Everything felt so incredibly symbolic and emotional and as someone who absolutely ADORES All Might and what he stands for in the story, this felt like a cool balm after seeing Deku tragically reject his bento box a good few chapters ago. I have a few more opinions about symbolism, and how I think Deku's generation of heroes is going to stray from the old gen, but I think that's a discussion for another time.

Thanks for reading 'til the end!

[adelheidvonschicksal]

hello I'm the person who asked imagine reader fem x Gojo. with the Arcade music, I wanted anguish with a happy ending, thanks and sorry for the incomplete order.

Summary: Gojo has to come to terms with killing someone he cares about…again. (spoilers for Gojo’s past arc)

Notes: Okay, I wrote three different scenarios. This one that’s posted, a second about an open relationship falling through, and one with a terminally ill reader-chan. And hated them all (It’d help if he had more humility too, cause he’d need to crawl back in most everything I thought of, and I can’t imagine this man crawling back to anyone). So, it kind of turned into a character study. So, this is the one I liked best I think, or could at least piece together into something coherent. I might revisit that second plot though for something else.

Long story short: I tried. :,(

A broken heart is all that's left I'm still fixing all the cracks

Satoru never truly opens himself up to people. Sure, he’s sociable, the friendly demeanor and air of confidence he puts on that somehow manages to draw common people to him like fish on a line isn’t even a lie. Gojo knows he’s strong, knows he’s good-looking and charismatic. Even now, he can flash a smile to the nervous woman opposite him in the train car, the one that’s been staring at him for a solid 30 seconds, and have her number in half the time if he really wanted.

The brief connection following their interaction wouldn’t be the same as letting her close to him.

Satoru accepted and acknowledged that it’s probably for the best, seeing as there was never another person that he feels could understand him after the last one. That relationship made his life's complications even more jumbled than they were originally to the point where even he finds it hard to straighten sometimes.

He didn’t have time to figure out how to piece everything together to present them in a way that’d be digestible for another person to even begin to understand. Let alone the fact that there wasn’t anyone he thought was worthy to even spend the time collecting all the pieces of himself.

Yet when he touches the boundaries of Sendai, he reaches for his phone readily and searches for the characters that make up your name.

“(Name)-chan,” he greets cheerfully. “Guess who boarded off in Sendai. Since you’re in town, why don’t you come to Kikusuian with me? My treat.”

There’s a soft scoff on the other side of the line, and he can already sense this will be a fight. The same kind of teasing you do to each other every day as your voice comes through with faux disgust. “Are you trying to talk me into that zunda mess again?”

Satoru smirks, recalling the day the two of you first met. He took you to get something to eat as he did with almost everyone he meets, and you so quickly turned your nose up at his offer of the green and white mochi. Now, you seldom reject an offer from him, only give a little fuss for show.

“I’m telling you it’s good. Come on. You wouldn’t make me go alone, would you? What if someone tries to kidnap me?”

“They’d bring you back in five minutes.”

He visibly winces at your words. “Ouch. What did I do to deserve this today?”

“I’m kidding. I’m already on the way.”

“I knew you loved me.”

“Well, I figured if it’s the great Gojo begging me for my time, I couldn’t say no.”

Gojo pouts even if he knows you can’t see it. “I wouldn’t call it begging…but I’m glad you get the idea.”

“Yeah, yeah. If you make me wait, I’ll buy out the shop and not share one piece with you.”

“Wouldn’t.”

“Better hurry. I’m already 10 minutes away.”

Gojo clicks off his phone. He finally releases a deep sigh, waves off his seat partner, and heads out to meet you at the shop before you can make good on your threat. It doesn’t take long to meet you at the shop. You already have a bag of goods in your hand and a smile breaks out over your face as soon as you see him walking up.

It makes him smile, too.

Even if this occasion isn’t one worth smiling about.

Lost a couple of pieces when I carried it, carried it, carried it home

Satoru doesn’t let people close to him.

Not after losing his best friend.

The day Satoru last talked to Suguru, truly talked to Suguru, waxes and wanes in his mind. Normally, he’s able to shove it back and not think about it whatsoever. On rare occasions, it’s on the forefront of his mind to remind him why he chose the path he did to rewrite the sorcerer world. He’d contemplate on it during the quiet hours of the morning before everyone gathered in the dining hall for breakfast, before Utahime cracked a wisecrack about him being lost in space, and before Nanami attempted to avoid him out of fear that Satoru would drag him into whatever nonsense the older sorcerer was contemplating.

Then, he’d sense someone, invading the frozen outlining of space, the external and internal infinity, he purposely keeps between himself and others.

Satoru didn’t stop you immediately, unsure why it takes more than a picosecond to throw on his guard when he knows full well what you are. When you got close to touching him, he quickly halted your advance. He bent his neck back to look up at you from your position above him. Your hands were angled towards the black blindfold over his eyes, twitching in eagerness.

A smile started to form on your face.

“You’re slacking, Satoru. I almost got you this time,” you said. “What’s the matter—getting old?”

“Not at all,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I did it to lure you in,” he said, reaching up to poke your nose.

You pulled back with a pout. “Do you really not want to show me your famous technique? You always mention how pretty your eyes are unless…do you perhaps have a lazy eye you’re embarrassed about? Astigmatism?”

Satoru scoffed at your observation. He couldn’t hide the amusement you managed to draw out of him as you slowly slid your way over to his side of the couch. “Of course not. I have 120-120 vision,” he said, tapping his temple where the blindfold lies.

Your mouth hanged slightly, and your eyes widen. “Wait, Six Eyes isn’t literal, is it?”

He cackled at your dumbstruck look. “Of course not. But it’s funny you thought that.”

With a pout and a roll of your eyes, you plopped down on the seat next to him. He looked your way with a smile, but it faltered upon seeing your concern. “But seriously, it seemed like something was wrong. Do you want to talk about it?” you asked.

For a half-second, he almost contemplated saying yes but instead waved it off. “I’m fine, just thinking about what to eat for breakfast.”

You nod.

“Alright,” you said, and he expected you to drop whatever interest you had in him as you stood to your feet and stretched. “Whenever you’re ready then. I won’t force you, but I’m here if you ever feel like it.”

You managed to cut down the smile on his face, if only for a second.

I've spent all of the love I saved

We were always a losing game

Satoru wouldn’t describe himself as a cold person.

He cares about the wellbeing of others, has no problem that the world has to rely on him as the strongest, to do what needed to be done. Satoru simply refuses to have to rely on someone else for support if it can be avoided as getting too attached complicated things.

Yet you wormed yourself in there some way.

No matter how many times he told himself not to get too attached to you, no matter how he tried to keep a thin layer of distance between the two of you once he realized you were beginning to crack his domain, he still found himself seeking out your company.

It’s the first time since those years ago that he’s felt a spark for anyone else, something more than fleeting attraction or a way to entertain himself. Satoru already knows the two of you will never work even if he did play into those creeping feelings clawing around in desperate search for the little corner left in his heart for deeper emotions other than basic instinct and occasional human decency.

Satoru was a sorcerer, and you were a curse user.

An informer.

A traitor.

One he was assigned to bring in from your assignment for interrogation and subsequent execution. Probably because the higher ups knew you were stronger than you let on and more likely to punish Satoru himself, to torture him just a bit more since there was no way they could touch him themselves.

If anyone asked, he’d say he only found out recently about your traitor status, but he knew all along. That’s why he stuck so close to you in an effort to watch your movements. It was a bit of a game to see when you’d slip up on all that false information he’d feed you.

Satoru couldn’t pinpoint though the exact moment that being around you became his choice. When after you’d share with him about your life, about being the only member left of your massacred clan and wanting to do good by them, he’d share a little bit about himself that may have actually been true.

Satoru never got close to answering why you’d want to work with curses. You seem way too softhearted to want a world built around pure strength if the smile you gave him was anything to go by.

Grinning, you teeter the brown paper bag, the white spun handle nuzzled in the first bend of your finger as you hold it out to him.

“I told you I’d pay for us,” Gojo says, and you shrug.

“The line was getting long besides you bought me lunch last time anyway,” you remind him and head towards the door to find a place to sit and eat before Gojo suggests the two of you could walk around town a bit instead. You follow along the sidewalk with him, believing that he called you out for a reason. “So, what’s up? You didn’t call me out just because you wanted to get sugar.”

“I told you already I didn’t want to go alone,” Gojo explains as he opens up the bag and looks for the familiar packet of sweets.

You laugh. “What’s wrong? Your students not giving you enough attention?”

“Not at all. Kikufuku is simply better in the presence of a pretty woman.”

“Oh, so it wasn’t me you missed at all. You just needed eye candy to go with your store candy,” you respond as if offended but the small hum you make as you chew your mochi makes your anger a clear farce.

“Of course not. You knew what I meant. You’ve been in Sendai forever. I missed having you around.”

“Yeah. I missed you too. What brought you to Sendai anyway. You have a mission?” you ask him with curious eyes, and Gojo collects the familiar feelings, finds the right voice to put on, and the best smile for the situation as he brings his finger to his lips.

“It’s top secret.”

“Even from me?”

“Especially from you.”

You pout, playful and childish, and he wonders for a second what kind of face you’d make if you knew the truth about why you had been shipped to Sendai these past weeks and why he was truly here. It makes his heart ache in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time, in a way he swore to himself he’d never let himself feel again. “I thought we were supposed to be friends.”

“We are.”

“Best friends?” you ask.

“2nd best friends,” he says. The spot in his heart for first was already taken by someone else, but there was also a special room that was for you that couldn’t be filled by his late best friend.

“Shame,” you murmur, walking slightly ahead of him, “Guess I’ll have to make Nanami my favorite after all since I’m only your second.”

“I’m way better than him in the friend department! Way funnier too,” Gojo complains, but the words feel like a lie on his mouth as he thinks about how you’d hang, head and body separated, those beautiful eyes blotted out with blood.

“I’m kidding.” You raise your hand and twist your fingers together, saying with a wink, “You’re a solid tie with him. But after tonight, you maybe move ahead of him. Maybe.” you tease but Satoru knows…he knows he’s your favorite.

And he enjoys the moment all the while trying to get the image of you cursing him with your final breath out of his mind.

All I know, all I know Loving you is a losing game

It isn’t far-fetched to say Satoru likes you. Loves even or at least the closest thing to love he’s ever felt and probably ever will.

It’s why he spends all night with you, hoping to give you one more good time where the two of you could be on the same side.

As you come up to the shrine on the edge of the downtown strip, he keeps questioning himself on why he hadn’t pushed you away more, why he hadn’t made a move to get rid of the threat you presented sooner.

“You’re right,” you tell him, finally finishing off the last of your snacks and stuffing the empty bag into the recycling bin. “Cream and zunda do go oddly well together.”

“I told you so,” he says cheerfully as you sit on a nearby stone bench together. Your head cranks up to look up at the sky as you comment on the shame of being unable to see the stars as dark clouds start to build up.

“Should probably head back and call it a night soon.”

“Probably,” Gojo agrees but he can’t help but think how true those words are for you. This would probably be your last night out once the school was finished with you, and he’d have to execute someone else he cares about.

It causes an ache in a small part of him he thought he sealed off long ago, that’s still desperate enough to open up, truly open, to another human being. Gojo slides his hands into his pockets while you release a deep sigh and begin to stare up at the little specks of stars that manage to peek through the cloud lining.

Satoru wishes the rain would hold off, that time would hold off a little longer so the two of you could make TikTok videos together again to stave off your shared boredom, maybe prank Nanami together before rating celebrities’ newest looks. He’d especially miss that pout you’d make when he’d poke your nose after catching you trying to bypass his infinity. He both hated and love those moments, because he did want to let you in but the idea of baring himself completely to you, being vulnerable, still made him uneasy for this exact reason. Yet he foolishly relished in your time together all the while resenting the fact that your fate would end up exactly like this.

Exactly like it always does when he makes a connection, no matter how small.

“Hey, Satoru…what would you do if I told you I wanted to kiss you?” Satoru tenses and whips his head back in your direction. Seeing his reaction, you turn your head back to the sky and mumble, “It’s alright if you don’t want to. I was just wondering.”

Gojo scowls, his eyes focusing on your face. Specifically, the softness of your lips as you gently suck on them to bring moisture back to your delicate arches. His memories sketch in the fact that you have beautiful lips. Kissable. “It’s not that I wouldn’t, but it doesn’t really seem fair to you,” he admits.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“I don’t really think it’d be kind to kiss someone I’m supposed to be arresting. You know what I’m talking about, right, Ms. Traitor?”

You open your mouth to speak but quickly fall silent and purse your lips.

“Not going to deny it?”

Gojo hopes you’ll deny his accusation with some pretty excuse to prove to him that he’s wrong about the situation, yet he knows he’s right, and he also knows you know that any excuse you have wouldn’t be sufficient.

“No. It’s the truth. I’m a curse-user, not a sorcerer.”

Satoru grits his teeth at your confession. His suspicions finally solidified with real evidence that he can’t bury away due to his absurd feelings.

“To be honest,” you begin, picking at your pants leg. “I had figured that the elders had already figured it out. It’s the only reason I could think of for why they would keep me in Sendai for so long.”

“You know. You could’ve run away when I first called you if you knew.”

You laugh bitterly. “Please, you can warp, and I’m not arrogant enough to think that I’d win in a fight against you when you hunt me down. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think you’d steamroll me either, but you’d definitely kill me in the end.”

“I would,” he responds, and you scoot back slightly as if he’d attack you that very moment. Your desire to kiss him turning into a desire to put distance in between the two of you stinging him when he had in fact aimed those words at himself. To talk himself into the fact that he would kill you here and now, without giving you the chance to cause anyone pain should he hesitate this night, like before.

The only one who would be in pain at the end of this should be him.

Because he may be the strongest but he’s human too.

No matter how hard he tries to think himself higher.

“That’d probably be for the best.”

Confusion strikes him first, and he quickly has to pull together his thoughts to form a coherent question, “You want me to kill you?”

Your lip twitches as you try to find the voice to explain, “The curses already are trying to kill me, and the only other options are execution or torture then execution from Jujutsu Tech. At least with you I know you’d make it quick.”

Then, it’s something you say that breaks his chain of thoughts.

Had you made the curses angry as well?

“The curses you work with—why are they trying to kill you? Aren’t they your allies?”

You shake your head. “I stopped feeding them information months ago. Anything they know now has to be someone else.”

“Any idea who?”

“Not really.”

“Convenient.”

“It’s the truth. Guess they didn’t trust me enough, well, good for them that they didn’t.”

Gojo droops his shoulders, relaxing back once again as he pinches the bridge of his nose to try to collect all the information you’re feeding him, to debate whether to believe you or not.

“I still don’t understand. Why’d you choose to work with curses in the first place…They promise you a coatrack too?”

“I wish. I have way too many jackets,” you say, remembering that one of the other humans on the curses’ side was promised one for his cooperation. “I did it because sorcerers are evil. They had no problem wiping out my clan as soon as we stopped toeing the line with them. I didn’t think sorcerers deserved their place. That’s why I chose to work with curses,” you confess. “I thought you all work the same in the top clans, but you guys at the school are so different from what I thought sorcerers were like. I couldn’t find a reason to keep hating sorcerers. At least not all of them especially not you.”

Gojo blinks a few times, studying your face for any sign of a lie, but he couldn’t find any in the gentle look you give him as your fingers inch closer to his hand, lightly brushing his skin as he realizes that he let his guard off around you…like always.

“You don’t have to believe me, but I’m telling you the truth when I say it’s not me, Satoru.”

With you admitting all this to him, he couldn’t find it in himself to kill or capture you when your conscience is already set to atone, the words you give instantly giving lifting the weight off his chest that he wouldn’t have to kill. Not this time. And replacing it with another pleasant, burning feeling. A selfish one. And he smiles, knowing that the higher ups would have another reason to want his head mounted on the wall.

“Calm down,” Gojo interrupts. He pulls his hand away from yours to bring it to the top of your head, lifting your gaze up to meet his. “I’ve already decided I’m not going to kill you.”

“So, you are going to turn me in? If that’s the case, I’ll have no choice but to go out fighting you.”

“Nope!” he says, gleefully bopping your nose with his finger before he takes a more serious tone, “If you’re no longer feeding information, then there’s not much of a point in killing you other than some petty revenge. Luckily in this case, I don’t feel the need for it.”

“You believe me then?” you question skeptically. “You…really trust me? What if I’m lying to you?”

Gojo hums, digging his finger in the top of his fold and pulling it down to study you. Immediately, you tense, but not from fear but fluster as it’s the first time you’re seeing his face. Gojo flashes a quick grin, the same smile he gives when he catches a woman staring at him, and you do what they all do and suddenly stare hard at your feet as you shyly debate meeting his eye.

“Yeah. You’re being honest,” he says, and hesitantly you raise your head to meet his gaze.

“How can you tell?” you breath out softly.

“It’d be no fun if I told you all that now,” Gojo says with a wink causing you to huff softly. Though, the simple answer is that he’d be a lousy person if he couldn’t tell when a close friend of his was lying to him. He pats your head, like a person pets a beloved child. “Well, that’s that. Let’s go home.”

“Home?” you ask.

“To the school. You said you wanted to stay with us.”

“Satoru, I,” you begin unsurely.

“It’s fine. Let me handle everything. The higher-ups already want my head mounted on a wall, so why not give them another reason to do it,” he says confidently, and you frown as a soft apology comes out your lips. “Don’t worry about it.”

You glance at his back broad in front of you, the relax posture and carefree whistling as he walks inviting you to catch up to his side. “I’m trusting you, Satoru. ...Don’t lie to me.”

Satoru looks to you, your eyes soft and pleading as they scan him for any sign of danger as you take the first nervous steps behind him.

“You can count on me,” he pipes out, “Just save that kiss for me as a reward and also maybe mention to Nanami that I’m your favorite now.”

You laugh, a beautiful sound to him. “Deal.”

Still I carried, I carried, I carried on

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[alexromero]

I feel like S/R is just a ploy for the press to come after R, but how NO ONE went lol wtf he's your 21 employee has me worried they're going to revisit it later. That + Ted/Sassy happening again (even if I don't think they'll be a thing) has me thinking the writers will pull a "soulmates aren't necessarily romantic" bs by the end. Never trust male writers.

you know anon, I think after this last episode I've begun to let go of my expectations just a little. there's a lot to be said for the way the show has dealt with this relationship (s/r) thus far that can't be erased. that, I think is an incredibly valid point to uphold the show to. now, as far as ted and rebecca goes... this episode exceeded my expectations. especially after episode eight.

I want to withhold my opinion overall until I see the last two episodes but if they're anything like episode ten... I'm genuinely excited once again to see where these two characters are going. I know this season is going to end in an incredibly dark and sad tone. that's been known since before the season aired.

that being said... I find it very hard to believe these writers would take the time to weave such an intricate and intimate relationship between these two characters not to go there. and I'm not saying this through any kind of subjectivity here. I'm saying in from an objective and practical stand point. Jason strikes me as a smart kind of guy. sure, as a writer he's made mistakes this season, especially with rebecca, but overall he has a vision. his vision for season two was individual journeys for both of these characters. whether we liked their journeys respectively, that's a whole other argument (one I've made before and we all know.)

going back to jason. he spent the better part of three to six months trying to find the perfect actress to play the role of rebecca. they went as far as auditioning famous celebrities and people apple wanted to pick. yet, jason picked hannah because she fit the role the best. it was the person he envisioned for the role of rebecca. he already has, in his mind, mapped out these journey for both of these characters and I don't see it being where they don't go to the full depth of their emotional capacities as adults who got divorced, underwent such intense traumas and came out of it to find one another. it's just a lot there for it to be this friendship in passing, where ted ends up with someone he's barely gotten to fully know. at least, know like he knows rebecca and connected w/ her the second they locked eyes.

what this season has shown us, both through them and through us as the audience, is just how much they rely and depend on one another. how much rebecca, no matter how many men she physically connects w/ (because I do find it interesting that she sleeps with sam at the first chance she gets & I don't say this in a judgemental tone, but in a "hey isn't it funny she was looking for an emotional connection and when she finds out its sam she immediately has sex with? funny how she's been using sex to cope all season as opposed to really opening herself up for a genuine connection w/ someone? & why she felt compelled to use two apps to make that happen?") it's all very interesting w/ rebecca because while she is putting herself out there, she's all holding back. she needs ted for all of her emotional needs (needing him at the pub w/ her mum, needing him at the funeral, needing him through food as she still relies on those biscuits, needing to know he's okay during his panic attack and needing him for emotional support during a talk w/ her mum) like we've seen how rebecca relies on this kind of emotional intimacy that should she ever really date someone and she still needs ted in this way... it would be awkward because a relationship, a romantic one that can last, begins in friendship and slowly morphs into what we see with rebecca in this season (the emotional validation and comfort ted brings to her.) this season for rebecca was about finding out what she doesn't want and for letting go. letting go of her father and her resentment and anger towards him. which is why she breaks it off with sam after. she has to let him go. let go of all the things she knows are only adding to the weight of her anger and grief. now, I know a lot of people aren't satisfied w/ the way she ended things because it leaves the "door open." tbh, rebecca in that moment realizes that he's... a kid. not in the infantilizing way but in the way that young people who are infatuated halfway in love with someone are. keeley tells her to be gentle. for rebecca, gentle is living that door open for sam and not shutting him off completely from the possibility of love for the future. not with her. but she doesn't want to be the one to make him resent love. a lot like her dad did and rupert.

for ted, I see it as a defense mechanism. he's incredibly afraid of a lot of things this season that have been bubbling since season one. his arc this season is all about overcoming his fears of not being present enough, or being enough for everyone. it's about his fear of not doing the right thing by everyone and forgetting to do well for himself. he's also someone who compartmentalizes. a lot. I mean, he thought that if he put the issues with his wife on pause and he left to Richmond, that somehow would fix their problems. time. he thought time would do it. but he's coming to realize that things are ever-changing and that sometimes the thing you may want is not really the thing you need. change is a hard thing for ted, just like it's a lot for other people (rebecca*). it also stems from his father's death. not just his death, but the way he did. ted is always afraid of losing people. of the suddenness of that loss and he's trying to overcome that fear this season. which is why I wouldn't be surprised to find out ted is scared of loving again. he's probably felt something for rebecca that is so strong and so scary he's... compartmentalized it for another day. he's also not aware yet of just how much he depends on rebecca. that need to bake for her every single day? that's stability. but once he found out she started dating? boy did he get spooked and started to withdraw. if you are at a distance, nothing can hurt you right?

this is just a tidbit into the many other thoughts I've had about this but I will say this... for someone who used to be afraid, like really don't the entire trajectory, I don't anymore. I'm certain that this is a love story where these two people come together. they are bound to one another by time (September 13, 1991 to be exact), and no other relationship, of love because that's what this show is about, can ever be it for either.

[completeoveranalysis]

~

Warning! This post contains spoilers up to chapter 170 of Tsubasa (and Chapter 71 of xxxHolic). Please skip this if you have not read that far.

Please also make no comments about what happens after that point in either manga.

~

OK SO HERE IS SPOOKY KUROFAI MARRIAGE PORTRAIT

The splash text reads: Shed blood and tears, without forgetting them, turn them into an existence.

Here is a link to my original post if you need the full context.

But here is the thing I said that just made me want to scream here in 2021, specifically in regards to that splash text:

"Incredibly motivating. It’s like the optimistic view of how things are when things are tough. The tough times are unavoidable a lot of the time, but you can and will get through them. You just have to make the choice to pick up the pieces and use them to construct a new future - which is never easy, but it’s the only way forward. For the dads, it’s both their past and their future. Kurogane has already gone through this; his life shattered and he used the pieces to forge a new identity and found new things to live for. For Fai, this is something he still needs to work on. He’s so used to running from his tragedy that he hasn’t yet figured out who he is beyond it. The “without forgetting them” is sort of a call out for him in that respect. You can’t grow by pretending they didn’t happen, or by pretending you’re a different person. Once he’s faced the pain and accepted that he’s alive and can continue living in a way that can make himself and others happy, then he’ll finally be moving forward."

IN WHICH.

LIKE.

I have no idea how anyone even reads this liveblog armed with knowledge of what happens next because APPARENTLY I JUST SAY THINGS that are VASTLY UNJUST and now I wilt away with the memory of what I thought of Fai back then.

I don't mean to give myself any undue credit here - I predicted none of Fai’s backstory. I had something completely different in mind when writing this, entirely based around the knowledge of Fai fleeing from Ashura with no context whatsoever about who Fai really was.

When you know where Fai came from? Oh my god.

Oh my god.

The words just toss my intended meaning out the window and dance around with the actual truth right in your face. Especially the “pretending you’re a different person” bit - I could never have predicted that Fai was using his brother’s namesake both as a way to eliminate himself from the world and to devote his life towards resurrecting his brother in his place. But HOT DAMN do these words ice skate in all the correct patterns without any knowledge of what the heck they could possibly mean in the end.

Also I'm in physical pain from the phrase: “without forgetting them” is sort of a call out for him in that respect." I know that past!me was thinking purely about Fai running away from confrontation with Ashura and pretending that he was fine and that everything was fine and that he could stay away from it all as long as possible. Things I did not know: That Fai's memories had been deliberately changed by two separate people to control the direction of his life. "Without forgetting them" is NOT a callout for Fai - Fai had no choice in that whatsoever (but they could still be a callout for ME for forgetting any of this plotline had ever happened oh my god). Fai was only ever running from Ashura with good intentions (ie, to NOT murder someone), and there was no way he could have known that his past had been rewritten to such a massive degree that it shaped the core of his personality for his entire life. And just as the splash text implies, it's only when he gets the CORRECT memories back that he can use them to forge a healthier and more accurate life moving forward.

A call out for Fai. Imagine. Past!me has so much to answer for.

I also want to revisit the bit where I said “once he’s faced the pain and accepted that he’s alive he can continue living in a way that can make himself and others happy, then he’ll finally be moving forward”, because this comes off entirely flippant now that I’m looking back on it.

My expectation for Fai’s potential trauma was somehow barely a tenth of what it really was in the end. And like, the idea I was getting at? Technically correct! But also only correct on the surface level. Fai didn’t need to just “confront his problems”. He needed to be completely stripped of the version of himself he had constructed from his false memories, worn down to the very core through reliving the worst parts of his life - and then shown how he was wrong about them. He was lied to his entire life, and so the goals he based his life around were aimed toward an abstracted version of reality. He was never going to be able to resurrect his brother, but he never could have known that without knowing that Ashura and Evil Wolverine had manipulated him and his memories every step of the way.

It's only when he can decipher this for himself that he can course correct - and it was only in taking the Original Fai completely out of the equation that Our Fai could finally begin to comprehend the idea of living for himself, and others, instead for fixing a mistake he never actually made in the first place.

So, yeah. “Once he’s faced the pain (of his past) and accepted that HE’S alive (and he’s allowed to be, because he never killed his brother) he can continue living in a way that can make himself and others happy” IS ACTUALLY ACCIDENTALLY CORRECT IN THE END.

I also want to point out that in the initial liveblog I never really discussed how Fai’s expression was relevant to this image, because I didn’t know exactly.

He’s smiling.

It's a small, gentle smile, but CLAMP really draw attention to it with the way he's looking off centre. Kurogane looks directly at the camera, but he's off centre - Fai is in the middle of the frame and he's vaguely looking elsewhere, head tilted in the wrong direction, as if he were looking towards Kurogane but seeing something else entirely.

The image itself was part of a series of splash pages where CLAMP were depicting the current state of the relationships between all of the main cast throughout the Infinity Arc (and it was glorious) and while I absolutely caught the fact that the relationship between Fai and Kurogane was intimate but strained, I didn’t know the context of Fai’s smile. His backstory shows us that Fai smiles as a way to make other people happy, because deep down he thinks this is the only possible value he can bring them - a smile is his only way of improving the world for the people around him, and his smile is the only thing he’s worth.

Here in the image Fai is partially draped over Kurogane but his distant look shows that he isn’t fully committed to the scenario - because before Seresu he could never be. As much as he liked Kurogane and allowed himself to get close to him, it was always always with the intention of him trading his life away for his brother’s at the end of the day. This is what caused the tension between them in the first place - when Kurogane made choices in Fai’s stead to keep him alive (in Acid Tokyo), he threatened Fai’s chance to trade his life for his brother’s, and so Fai distanced himself from Kurogane. Even if they fixed what they had between them, anything he had going with Kurogane could only ever be temporary until Fai could trade places with the real Fai.

And so Fai smiles - because any happiness he can give Kurogane and the others is all he’ll ever be worth. It's a temporary happiness that was never supposed to last or even exist in the first place.

And it’s not until we get OUT of Seresu that Fai finally has the opportunity to build himself from the ground up and start living for himself. For his own happiness and those around him.

And finally commit to the idea of being able to (and being WORTHY OF) making Kurogane happy in the long term.

Which is where we then get the punching scene in Nihon. And it’s perfect.

But OH BOY did past!me say some things that sounded correct but were utterly and completely wrong at every level.

[911lonestarscreentime]

Owen Strand Screen Time Meta Post

Welcome to the first in a series of posts analyzing the screen time of characters post season 2 of 911 Lone Star. I thought this idea would be more interesting, and efficient, than trying to put all of my thoughts for every character, and the entire season into one post. 

First up is Owen because he’s the highest billed character and because when I put out a poll, he was the only character no one wanted to see first. So let’s dive in! 

Read my analysis below the cut:

Season 1

I’ll be honest, when I started calculating the screen time I had no idea how much of an impact Owen’s time would have on the fandom. I really don’t recall there being that much discourse over it until I posted the results... and it didn’t really bother me before I saw the numbers? But after I did that first episode I was like oh..... yeah that’s a problem. 

At least that pilot episode was the most screen time he’s gotten, though I’m willing to bet that will change with season 3′s “Owen Begins.” I mean in a way, the pilot episode was his begins episode (or could even be considered “Begins Again” like what they did with Bobby on 911) since it was about him packing up and starting a new life as captain of the 126. Essentially, the pilot episode served to set up that this would be Owen’s show. 

The other episode where he took up a larger chunk of the screen time was 1x06 (”Friends Like These”) which makes sense because it was exploring his friendship with Billy... little did we know how important that would be later.

Most of his screen time in season 1 was concentrated around 8-10 minutes. Obviously that is the most screen time given to a character on the show, which makes sense since the show and the character was written for him and he hold the executive producer title. 

The least amount of screen time he got was around 7.5 minutes in 1x03 (”Texas Proud”) and 1x08 (”Monster Inside”). I do find that especially interesting since those are still episodes where he played an important role in the plot, compared to other characters whose least amount of screen time meant they were lucky if they spoke one line. It’s also worth noting in 1x03, Owen still had the most screen time (though Michelle was a close second) and in 1x08, Michelle did beat him by a few minutes.

Season 2

We really went into season 2 with higher hopes, though it wasn’t much better (I would argue there was some improvement... but I’ll talk about that more later). 

It says a lot that Owen’s top 3 episodes are 2x10, 2x11, and 2x12. Though he didn’t beat his previous record of over 20 minutes, he got nearly 15 minutes in 2x11 (”Slow Burn”)... which if you didn’t already know, is also the episode that was written by his son, John Owen Lowe, and directed by his brother, Chad Lowe. He also got around 12 minutes in the two episodes that buffer that one, 2x10 (“A Little Help From My Friends”) and 2x12 (”The Big Heat”). This three episode arc accounts for about 32% of his screen time this season.

Before that major arc in 2B, in the first half of season 2 his big episodes fell around 10 minutes each; 10:45 in 2x07 (”Displaced”), 10:00 in 2x03 (”Hold the Line”, the crossover), and 9:45 in 2x01 (”Back in the Saddle”)*

A big difference for this season compared to season 1 was that there were episodes where he did not get as much screen time. Whereas his least screen time was 7:30 last season, this season there were four episodes that were lower than that; 7:15 in 2x06 (“Everyone and Their Brother”), 6:00 in 2x13 (”One Day”), 5:30 in 2x02 (”2100°”), and of course, a mere 1:00 in 2x09 (“Saving Grace”). That is really the only episode where Owen has completely stepped aside, playing a very minor role in the overall plot. In 2x02, 2x06, and 2x13, Owen came in second behind Tommy (in x02 and x13) and Paul (in x06). And in 2x09, he came in fourth (the only time thus far he was not in the top 3) behind Judd, Grace, and Tommy.

(*I’ve mentioned the new method I’ve been using to calculate screen time on a few occasions now and I’ve only revisited 2x01 so far (almost done 2x02 tho) anyway, I’m using the data I collected using the old method for these posts but in an effort to be totally upfront about how the new method is going, Owen’s screen time for 2x01 is actually about 30 seconds higher than I originally calculated, coming it at 10:15 instead of 9:45. Not much of a difference, and idk how much the rest of the new method results will impact this meta post, but I wanted to be clear about it).

Total Screen Time

As the infographic above states, his total screen time for the two seasons comes in at nearly 3 hours and 45 minutes. Divided in half, thats around 112 minutes per season, which does fall in line with the totals for each season (103.25 minutes for season 1, 120.5 minutes for season 2). However, there was only 10 episodes in season 1, compared to the 14 we saw in season 2. With that in mind, you can begin to see how season 2 was actually a smidge better than season 1 when it came to how much screen time was given to Owen. But the real indicator is the averages, which is discussed next.

Average Screen Time

As you can see in the infographic, Owen’s average screen time in season 1 was around 10:15 and dropped to 8:30 in season 2. The series screen time (which is the total divided by 24, not those two totals divided by 2) comes in at about 9:15. 

Obviously, even 8.5 minutes is still a huge amount of screen time. But compared to over 10 minutes in season 1, his average screen time is seeing a clear downward trend. I would take this as a win. It’s a small change, but it’s an indication that we are heading towards a day where Owen doesn’t eat up the majority of the screen time each episode.

Outliers

The idea of outlier episodes wasn’t even something I considered until a few weeks ago. This would be an episode where the screen time total was either much higher, or much lower than what is normally seen for that character.

According to my calculations, in season 1 the pilot episode at 20:45 is an outlier for Owen. In season 2, 2x09 (”Saving Grace”) is also an outlier at 1:00. And looking at the data set for all the episodes in series, both numbers (20:45 and 1:00) are outliers. (Outliers change based on the data set, so we need to look at each data set (season 1, season 2, and series) individually and not assume that an outlier for one season would also be an outlier for the series). 

What happens when you remove the outliers?

That brings us to the above question. Is Owen’s 20+ minutes in the first episode the reason why his time is so high in season 1? Is his 1 minute in 2x09 bringing down his time in season 2? And what about the series?

I’m not sure if it’s worth examining how the totals are affected since that’s pretty self-explanatory. Obviously all the totals will go down if you take out the outlier episodes. But where it makes a difference as far as we’re concerned is the averages. 

Obviously the average number is how much you should expect to see that character during an episode. But if 20 minutes is much higher than normal, and 1 minute is much lower than normal, then what happens when you take out those numbers? Well, something actually fairly interesting happens, that almost contradicts what I said before about the progress...

When you remove the pilot episode from the data set for season 1, the average comes to around 9:15. When you remove 2x09 from the data set for season 2, the average comes to around 9:15. When you remove both episodes from the series data set the average comes to (you guessed it) 9:15. 

9:15 is more indicative of what to expect for Owen’s screen time in an average episode, and since it hasn’t changed that says a lot about the progress we’ve seen for screen time distribution.

Now as for what to do with this? Honestly, I have no idea. I mean the fact is that while these episodes are outliers, they did still happen. There is an episode where Owen only had about a minute of screen time; just like there’s an episode where he got over 20 minutes. Outliers are weird because I don’t want to not acknowledge them, and I think it’s important to look at when studying the screen time as a whole. But as for the reported numbers, we can stick with what is laid out in the infographic.

Closing Thoughts

It’s hard to say whether this season saw less Owen, or about the same. Of course when taking all episodes into account, it is less. But when you remove the outlier one minute episode, it’s really not that much better. But then again, the fact that we did get an episode where he was only on screen for a minute is a very good sign, so taking it out of the data set doesn’t exactly make sense.

I guess the biggest takeaway still is that Owen still has a lot. He always will. Even if he did have less this season, it’s still much more than the characters who come in second and third had. I like to think it will get better, and maybe it will, but personally I’ve accepted that Owen will always have the most, and he will have much more than other characters, but it shouldn’t be as much as it is. Hopefully his screen time will continue to trend down and allow for more time to explore the other characters on the show.

[kuekyuuq]

Praise and blind spots... (6x12)

I know, I wouldn't be able to do the topic justice, so I will refrain from going in too deep into 6x12′s plot. This is not my usual format and will focus more on the series as a whole, in light of this episode...

Azie Tesfai wrote a beautiful episode on a very important topic. And managed to tie it in to what Supergirl (the show) needed to be, among other things.

Yes, it's a superhero show. But that's the thing: While movies have the luxury to keep their focus on the big picture, series should also find the time to address the micro-cosmos, the consequences, the backlash, the whole canvas.

We watch shows these days, that are more and more departing from the olden format of episodic and towards the serialized - meaning, not only villain-arcs (vaguely) span over the whole of a season, but also the main characters' developments and evolution... and more importantly the stories and characters surrounding them. This should allow for interesting stories to be told in the background, without becoming background-noise. What saddens me, is that Supergirl only really started using this narration device in an effective way in its final season. With a very important topic, that while having been touched on before, deserved a good depiction, worthy of it's depth.

In this season we had two episodes before, that made me happy on that level - both also heavily featuring Azie's character, Kelly. The story about the young black man and his little brother was a heartfelt one, a relatable and thought-provoking story, given more depth by being picked up again. Being treated not as just another plot-device.

Oh, I wished we had a time-machine, cut out so many of the unnecessary and bland filler stories (that never really went anywhere) and got to dive in deeper into the many topics CWSG checked off it's PC list during its run and actually told something worth revisiting. Like this. Like what Azie did right here in 6x12.

Now, we’ve got this little gem. In the last season. Focusing on one of the secondary main-characters. The girlfriend of the sister of the titular hero... While the titular hero herself is and has been side-lined in the past 4 episodes. (If not longer... *sigh*)

I really liked this episode. I really love its format. And the topic is so very important. On all its depicted levels (and there were many).

...why did this have to happen only now?

On one hand, I feel, this is something the series can be remembered for. The last season's arc of Kelly and the story her character has to tell, the awareness this story brings forward. In a show, that should have so much impact.

On the other, I feel it's taking up room from our main character, when there should be time spend addressing Kara's traumas, her healing, her relationships.... her story. And in better hands, we possibly could have (had) both. But, alas, this is the CW.

We should have had this episode two seasons ago!

Now we have a new hero, build up before the series' finale, when we know the new Guardian will not get to shine or tell her stories (is there even talk about a spin-off for her?).

I hope, sincerely, that the last stretch of episodes will be able to balance its stories much better. That Kelly - now that her story and origin and drive has been told - will not sink back into the shadows, while we also get more Kara (and let’s not forget wrapping up the rest of the Superfriends’ arcs).

The show hardly felt like "Supergirl" in a while now. Kara is there, yes. And I get the behind-the-scenes reasons as of why they had to have her on her own separate adventure for the first 7 episodes. But... there are so many unresolved topics around Kara, herself. (IMO, the only character that continuously got this much attention is Lena Luthor, having almost more background-story, character build-up, -arc, emotional depth and consequences, personal and surrounding her, than Kara - including the horrible over-the-top mess that was season 5.)

Gosh, the show even made a point of having Kelly say, that it wasn't Kara's job to deal with these little things. Which is right and wrong at the same time. Supergirl is an over-powered superhero. Which brings conflict in its own right. Which - in a series - should leave room to explore her as a person and dealing with the chasm between her powers and her vulnerability, her character, her emotions, her traumas, her desires, hopes and dreams and wishes, her evolution and re-evaluations...

Kara Zor-El Danvers should be the - or at least a - focus in her (last!) season.

And on top of that, we should get to see what happens when the heroes dust off their hands and leave the scene after fighting the big bad.

Consequences. The show has been horrendously bad at addressing those before. The Children of Liberty arc tried to deal with that... but in a way that lead to extremists, and for the sake of a big bad - rather than in a relatable Everyman / Everwoman / Every..person(?) way.  This episode did that. The previous Kelly episodes did that. So very well...

...addressing the little people, the normal people, the minorities, the (unintentional) victims, the over-looked, the individual sufferings, the by-standers...

...but also unintentionally showcasing the shortcomings of the show in a very unflattering way. But I guess, for an episode titled “Blind Spots”, that attempts to cast light on things that have been ignored before, that’s rather fitting...

... I don't think, I can say much else without accidentally taking away from Azie’s master piece or her intent and thoughtful execution...

I did very much appreciate the "24h earlier" bit, showing Kelly's tale paralleling the 'grand adventures' of the Superfriends.

I did not think, Diggle needed to keep telling Kelly how proud her brother would be, as Kelly should not need her brother's thumbs-up or for the show to yet again inadvertently compare a female to their male 'counterpart'. Kelly's Guardian will (hopefully) not be like James'. Just like Supergirl is her own woman and comparing her to Superman is just inadequate.

...and I love how even the mail was quicker than the jet that brought Lena back to National City.

...

I love the show for its quirkiness. Not the unintentional one, but the funny and goofy bits. For Kara being walking (or flying) sunshine incarnated, but also relatable in her day-to-day struggles. For characters with so much promise that I got so much more invested in the show, than its average writing deserves. It is a series, that had so much potential. To tell big and small stories, important and impactful stories. Fun, sad, thought-provoking, entertaining, exciting, adventurous, soothing, real, fantastic... I never asked for the show to 'pick a lane' (I'd take Lucy...) because there has always been potential to meld so many themes and motives and ...moods together - that's what an ensemble cast is perfect for.

Thank you, Azie Tesfai, for a great episode!

Fingers crossed, the last stretch of the show will be able to keep up with a bar suddenly raised so very high.

[forgottenlivesobverse]

‘The Demons of Dog Street’

For the first of Forgotten Lives 2‘s two stories featuring the Philip Hinchcliffe Doctor and his companion Rue, we welcome back Kara Dennison, who developed the characters for her story ‘Gauntlet of Absolution’ in Forgotten Lives. Kara talks about her new story, ‘The Demons of Dog Street’...

What's your new story about?

The Doctor and Rue receive a summons to present-day (1950s) Colonial Williamsburg, which in turn takes them back to Colonial Williamsburg proper to investigate the usage of a very powerful artifact that technically should not exist. They meet a lovely young lady who is being hunted by strange demons for seemingly no reason -- and whom Rue does not trust one bit.

On a secondary level, it's also about the lens of history, and CW is (and always was) a changing historical lens based on what its overseers (and investors) felt was needed at the time. Whether that was quiet contemplation, or a search for ‘American identity’, or a concerted effort to unearth bits of history that were previously ignored or overwritten. Having a fully alien Doctor and fully alien companion be witness to this allows for an examination of this at arm's length, which I really rarely get to do. How much of any historical analysis is fact, and how much is a reflection on some other point in history -- our own time included? Every era is hiding demons; humans are just very adept at pivoting the narrative to decide what those demons are.

What did you most enjoy about revisiting the Doctor you created for Forgotten Lives?

I loved getting to start building a world around the Doctor and Rue: what have they seen, who have they become in each other's presence, that sort of thing. They're very close with each other in a strange way—not romantic, but affectionate and understanding—enough that he will drop his silly swashbuckler mask around her, and she's beginning to understand the significance of that.

I also pulled in a few elements from the first anthology, things that are going to be more relevant in his life than he (or the readers, or even I) initially thought. This feels more like an era than a one-off now, with an arc story and the beginnings of a Big Bad. I hope there will be more of these anthologies in future; there's more I'd like to explore, and to see others explore.

What, if anything, did you want to do differently this time?

I wanted to really explore the dichotomy of this Doctor, poke at it a little bit and see what it's about. Initially it was a bit of fun: he's sort of a reverse Scarlet Pimpernel, absolutely daft on the surface but scarily brilliant when he's out of 'uniform’. Here, we see more examples of where he draws that line and why. I'm not sure even he's entirely aware of his reasoning, though. The more I write him, the more I get the feeling that this particular persona (as opposed to anything else it could have been) is a bit of safe rebellion, a way to feel like he's freer and bigger and cooler than he feels right now. Especially with the revelation we get in this story concerning his last two ‘jobs’. Perhaps the germ of his Hartnell-and-forward selves knocking about inside and begging to get out.

Aside from your own, which of the Forgotten Lives  Doctors is your favourite? I might be a little biased, but my Altrix cohort Paul Driscoll did some fantastic work bringing the Gallacchio Doctor to life. I'd love to swap Doctors with him sometime and see what comes of it. That very Victorian showmanship speaks to me. As it is, I'm excited to see another friend of mine (Nicole Petit) put her own spin on him in this anthology.

As a bit of an aside, there's really nothing more gratifying than seeing someone else write your Doctor and absolutely smash it. That's been the biggest joy of Forgotten Lives 2 for me: watching how he exists in someone else's mind, and seeing how clearly he comes through.

Can you describe your Doctor in three words?

Conniving disaster fop.