#I need to get diagnosed
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before the anniversary day ends (for ME!) let's recap ☝️ and yes because i am insane i have kept track
since i first watched the show in september last year i have:
actually started writing consistently for the first time ever !! i've written 42845 words—6 full fics, 5 of which are angst help?, 4 ficlets, and 4 poems (all but one 2k fic of which were written this year)
made 18 drawings (not counting some because... they were bad)
made 16 edits, 2 of which are video edits
made it to the top of the good omens tag and onto tumblr's official email during the godforsaken boopocalypse
honestly become more accepting of many things
turned 21...
made many friends that i love so much and some that i grew so much closer to than i ever thought i would?? like i am so bad at making friends so this was a surprise lol
anyway i love u all and i am going to be here and freaky and yapping until you are all SICK OF ME <3
#fearandhatred#i will be doing another recap at the end of this year because i goddamn love recaps#even formatting this collage was so fun#i need to get diagnosed#mutuals i love you and i am trying to make new mutuals but i am still trying to break the habit of following as little people as possible#good omens#good omens ANNIVERSARY BABEEYYYYYY#that's not the tag i got excited#good omens anniversary
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I go on tumblr and then I’m like
What was I doing?
Literally my whole life
Surprised I get shit done tbh
#I need to get diagnosed#HAHAHHA#with being a bad bitch#you thought#what mood is this today haha#hello#hi#mine#unhinged
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These… symptoms… are… adding up…
#autism#moment of realization#I need to get diagnosed#hopefully#girlblogging#girlblogger#girlblog#this is a girlblog
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if what i've said and done last night was not a symptom of bpd idk what is. but fr i need to go seek help... but jfc my anxiety says noooo
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When the autism becomes unironic
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Bee(related) fact #3
Fun fact, wayyy back in the day (Like medieval times) beekeepers used trees! So they would either hollow trees out and hope for bees or they would fine trees with bees already in them. They use cut a hole in the tree near the top and would also put a door in the tree. The door would be closed when the weather was bad :)
#fun facts#bees#bee related#i love bees#fun fact#medieval fact#medieval beekeeping#beekeeping#am i doing this right?#this is my special interest#i think im autistic#I need to get diagnosed
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Yeah I’m pretty sure I’m autistic. Self diagnosing here but it makes sense looking back at like my whole life pretty much
#I need to get diagnosed#when the day comes I’ll be scared though#I struggle with talking about emotions#autistic#i might be autistic
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awh fuck i got a bingo too god damnit
POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything
Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity
#i need to get diagnosed#at this point i know i have it#i just want PROOF#mostly for my own ease of mind#ANYWAY#AUTISM BE UPON ME
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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i’m so sorry but comedy peaked when the shameless writers made lip gallagher have anger issues and then decided he was absolute shit at fighting like you can’t get any fucking funnier than that
#i love him the more i think about him the more unserious he gets#like they really wrote this absolute geek who desperately needs to be diagnosed and had the meanest sense of humor ever#but they also made him the biggest teddy bear#and they expected me NOT to love him ????#like let’s all be ASTRONOMICALLY serious here#i don’t have to cutie patootie sweetie bear cookie pie him he does it himself#boyfriend i fear#sorry for being overbearingly down horrendous in the tags again#he’s just the most perfectest character ever i don’t make the rules sorry#lip gallagher#phillip gallagher#fiona gallagher#ian gallagher#debbie gallagher#carl gallagher#liam gallagher#shameless#shameless us#shameless uk#lgbt#lgbtq
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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every day i get slightly closer to seeking an autism diagnosis
Autistic and Hating to be Perceive
Neurodivergent_lou
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they shouldve cried during jinlan. both of them bursting into tears at the same time. one of them running with his arms outstretched towards the other. preferably shen qingqiu but i’m not fussy. so long as they fall in a pile on the floor and get snot bubbles and choke on every second word.
#svsss#bingqiu#show the jianghu how ‘dangerous’ this pathetic demon lord really is#make the immortal master a pitiful figure that no reasonable man would accuse of anything ever#the man sobbed into his disciple’s hair for an hour. who the fuck would believe he’s controlling the sowers. opm get in the water prison#i need a professional to diagnose me with ‘binghe kinitis’ please. it would be so funny#.txt
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Well I want to be honest, my mental health hasn’t been the best the past few months. I’ve been really struggling to the point of crying about several different things and it’s not anyone’s fault. Maybe my situation irl is affecting how I feel online, and it sucks because everyone is so nice and kind but I feel like I don’t belong? Idk how to explain it. It’s a very awful feeling and I’m recovering from several traumatic things I thought I’d gotten over but they keep resurfacing, I think I need to organize my feelings and stop overthinking, but I wanted to explain myself too. I’ll be unfollowing several people and you’re free to unfollow me too 💖🙏 y’all have been nothing but wonderful and a source of inspiration but I need to work on myself ;v;)b
I wish everyone a very lovely evening tbh UwU you’re all the best, bless you 💖
#pix habla#it’s hard to be honest but I have to be ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)��#i could just unfollow but I wanted to explain myself too it felt wrong not to#i tried so hard to reason with my dumb little brain#but there’s too much and I need a break#this has happened before like? three times ? it’s weird#mystery skulls and undertale#hmmm i guess fnaf too then#getting diagnosed with autism made it so much worse actually now I’m convinced people only keep me around because they feel sorry for me#so I’m going to work on that#it’s not personal at all#im sad I can’t feel better no matter how nice and supportive everyone is
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I am beginning to suspect that my success in communicating with the socially awkward, highly skilled, specialist technology team members is not just down to "having lots of experience talking to my dad"
#You need something from a guy#And the team go#“ah Colin can be a bit tricky sometimes”#And then I go and have a simple and straightforward conversation with Colin#!?!#And I go#It was exactly like asking my dad for help!#Which I have YEARS of experience in#Why is my dad socially awkward?#Why are details about this One Thing a basis of communication?#Why do I get good results with people 'like my dad' where others struggle?#Hmmmm#anyhooo#The most normal of the siblings just got diagnosed#With the adhd and the autism#And I look at her and go#Gurl YOU are the normal one#... My suspicion grows
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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