#but im lk scared they;; say you have this this this this this this etc....

[pettydreamz]

if what i've said and done last night was not a symptom of bpd idk what is. but fr i need to go seek help... but jfc my anxiety says noooo

[supersoftdary]

hey pals, sorry ive been so absent. and rlly sorry for not replying to requests and asks. i’m not trying to ignore anyone or seem ungrateful for getting them. i appreciate every ask i receive, every request is viewed w excitement. i hold them so v dear. i take a LONG time bc i give all your comments/suggestions/requests A LOT of thought, and rlly wanna make my responses as good as i can. and as i’ve been dealing w a lot, i’ve not been able to fully invest myself in the writing, if i’m able to write at all. which tbh i haven’t been averaging more than a line a day. unfortunate ik. i do apologize so much.

my personal life took some major hits in june. things are just starting to look like they’re headed in a better direction. and i’m hoping. that’ll mean more activity from me on here. hoping to. get back to writing and creating for patreon. creating lk stuff may be on hold while i dive back into my sv obsession. suuuuper jarrich bitch over here. zach and tom are everything and so good at what they do. and esp on that show. 

anyway come chat me up if u are so inclined. i was re-reading some of the super soft, kind, helpful bits of feedback y’all have left on the warry stuff i made public and it got me all misty eyed. fuckin 10ply o’here bud. wanted to do some thank yous. just letting u all know that i do screenshot and save every comment and use them to inspire me, help me continue, and uplift me when im struggling. big shout outs to:

 @bookgirlfan  who left one of the most lengthy feedback comments i’ve ever had the pleasure of getting. the insight was so well put and so needed bc it was a longer fic and i was so fuckin nervous to post.

@modeans3 for the immediate sweetness and love and the posi vibes RADIATE. and being such a pal to answer questions i posit that p much everyone overlooks. lol. warms my heart to chat w u always sugarplum

@ficfucker fuck. immediate kinship w one of the BEST warry writers ever. so humbled and grateful for the instant support u gave to me. and for always letting me go fully AWF abt my fic ideas/current stuff/daydreams/etc and amping me up and when u add on and then we are BOTH building a thing together?! i live and die fer it. 

@junk-food-forever who i got into this lil show and am so happy shes always down to read for me when im fuckin terrified to show the fandom my work. she’s also p much my sister and i would follow her to the ends of the earth. i love her. she’s my best friend. and she’s a saint and a goddess and an angel fairy made of sunshine and moonglow.

sincerely don’t wanna come off too strong bc i always worry abt doing that and scaring ppl off, but u guys all made an impact on me. u made me feel welcomed, appreciated, AND SEEN. u have to understand, before this i was just a grain of sand in the seb fandom sea where i witnessed a lot of petty games and silencing of unique ideas and just a kinda lack of diversity all around. then i come here and feel so supported by like everyone for who i am and what i wanna do w my content. whereas before it felt like trying to sell my wares to the main blogs so they could greenlight me and then i’d be accepted into the fold for the others? so fuckin bizarre-o. it was weird and kinda fucky and yeah. but not to say i didn’t make some v amazing pals along the way. those folks know me and agree w me that the toxicity is rampant. but they are also not just contained to mcu/seb and all that so. anyway sorry for getting all sappy and mush and softer ‘an shit on all a y’alls. i just. just rlly don’t wanna step away from this. ik i was gone fer a bit, and i can’t promise it won’t happen again if my health dips again. but. just wanted to ig let yous know im still here and ilysm. 

[feisar]

my thoughts on the bullshit (marvel vs capcom: infinite)

its so fuckin wack. when they announced 2v2 i was hoping it was gonna be like tatsunoko (which is the best vs series imo) and its not Awful but it feels a lot slower and kinda clunkier? idk the parts i did like was that tagging feels more dynamic and i like the idea of the gems being like the grooves in cvs2 but that’s it? im not a fan of the autocombos and the down down motions shouldn’t be in a capcom game with all the other quarter circles and charges etc. i definitely do need to spend more time with it and hearing about how creative you can be with the mechanics from the pros that are playing it at e3 is a good sign but idk first impressions from me aren’t good.

but ok enough about gameplay i wanna talk about the real shit. that being capcom and disney and the fgc because i think that’s the real reason why this game is gonna be so blah

im a huge marvel head bc it was the first fighting game i really got into once i discovered the fgc (and you know its fun as hell and the first friends i made in college were the kids down the hall i played umvc3 with every weekend). part of the reason why its so fun is because its so God Damn HYPE like look at this shit and tell me you dont get fired up watching this vid and wanna play:

and this brings me into the main reason why i think this game is gonna be bad and flop again and its marvel and disney. we already know about capcoms money, lack of talent, and planning issues with their fighting game department and mvci is set to repeat all the same mistakes they did with sfv (lacking content, corny ass story mode, small roster, LOTS OF DLC) but that’s just one part of it.

the whole game to me just wreaks of a cash grab from disney/marvel to both 1. get that sweet sweet injustice money 2. sell more mcu stuff to nerds and 3. get more people invested in the fighting game market to benefit capcom. yes i understand games are made to make money. the point i’m trying to make here is that this is the result when you get game and media companies who don’t understand why fans love something and try to make something as a response to it.

the modern marvel owned by disney and the pieces of media they put out are carefully constructed and sanitized to show you what they want to see, which is what makes them the most money and what gets you looking away from the other studios that control the rest of their characters, notably xmen. i guarantee you someone at disney was shown the above video about mvc hype and was like “oh we dont want this kind of crowd at our game. this is gonna scare away people.” this coupled with the whole simplification aspect of the game (which i’ll get to in a bit) shows that disney doesn’t really know how the fgc works or how people get excited about these games which is big moments, nostalgia and generally fun shit! not the cheesy ass story mode they’re making which based on the demo is mcu and capcom characters doing nothing but saying each other’s names and having cheeky banter with the lads then punching some robots. the whole game itself feels very MCU oriented from the looks to the sounds and it makes for one really uncompelling package that’s a lot less hype than previous games in the series.

im all for making fighting games more accessible and helping the scene grow but the simplification of the controls and inputs feels really half baked and it seems like capcom doesn’t really know how to draw newbies in. replacing shoryuken inputs but leaving in charges and reverting back to the more complex mvc2 style buttons (lp, lk, hk, hp) as opposed to a friendlier l m h s from mvc3 seems weird and the down down input they added doesn’t fit in with the vibe of the other move inputs as well. as injustice has shown us making a Good ass game with a lot of single player content will get people interested in fighting games enough to buy em and some of those new players will eventually learn enough to get good and start competing. for whatever reason capcom cannot learn these lessons and i feel like the choices they made to simplify the game might turn off current players and thus make the game less popular, leading to a loss loss situation between fg pros and newcomers.

idk this is a wicked messy post but marvel is the game that got me really into FGs and i’ve made so many friends through it and to see what was my favorite fighting game become the lifeless husk we have now is so depressing but i hope capcom learns something from this (they prob wont). we’ll see how it turns out i guess. lmk what you think of all this too