#I need to find more people who are as deranged about them as I am

[musical-chick-13]

Which do you ship more: River and 11 or River and 12? (And if you feel like it, why?)

Oh, man. This is. Legitimately an impossible question, lmao. (Cop-out answer, I know.)

I tried looking at this from. Every angle. Which particular brand of derangement resonates more with me (can't decide). Which do I like writing more (can't decide). Is it more fulfilling for me to have highly messy angst or a degree of relative peace (again: can't decide). The only metric that might mean anything is that I like 12 more than I like 11 because he's The Only Man Ever, but...even that feels disingenuous, because...yeah, these two dynamics are different and these two guys are different, but. It's clearly still the same ship. He's really into how dangerous she is. She's really into how strange he is. They work together exceptionally well even if, by all accounts, they shouldn't (<-it's because of the intellectual compatibility, which they are both really into). They banter and occasionally drive each other up the wall, but they care so much and get so jealous for no reason, and he grieves intensely over her when she's gone (or when he thinks she's gone), he feels bad about her thinking she's less-than (hello Christmas special Reveal Scene and TATM wrist-healing scene), she is the most shameless person to ever live, and the feelings they bring out of each other are intense in a way they aren't with anyone else. He's absolutely desperate to impress her, and she pretends she's fine when she isn't, and they both give each other so much leeway that they just. Do not make a habit of giving to people. All of these things are true with both 11River and 12River.

I think I'd say some of my favorite moments are with 11River ("[I'd suffer] more than every living thing in the universe [if I had to kill you]." The entirety of Berlin Episode Series 6, episode of all time. "You're forgiven--always and completely forgiven." "This is my normal face/Yes it is." "YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE TO ME.") But that very easily could have been eclipsed if we'd simply seen more of 12River. (Show me the 24 years, Steven. SHOW THEM TO ME.)

I guess, marginally, I'll give the edge to 12River (my GOD that hurt me to say). Solely because if I want to write the two of them actually communicating, it's easier to do with that particular version of them, and I DO love writing the catharsis that comes from Genuine Communication. (I was able to write the Christmas Grief Fic in like two or three days for a reason, lmao. If I'd tried to do that with 11River it would have taken probably about another couple weeks and at least 5,000 more words.)

(Then again, back when I was starting out writing fic at like. Age 18. And everything I wrote was very stupid. I DID write a fair amount with them, that DID actually involve them communicating. So. Maybe my previous statement isn't accurate, either. a;sdfklja;slfaskl)

[voodoo-tofu]

Steve Harrington needed hearing aids.

He wasn't born needing them. In fact, he was just about as healthy as a young man in his social class could be. But numerous head injuries eventually led to gradually worsening hearing loss, leading him to needing mostly useless hearing aids.

His damage was so severe he actually needed cochlear implants but his parents kicked him out of their house and off of their insurance plan when he got caught kissing his teammate back in high school. With his minimum wage job and splitting rent with his roommate Robin, he currently did not make enough money for such a luxury.

So he did the next best thing: he learned ASL.

It was free, other than his time invested, and Robin was the one to suggest it. After all, she was already fluent in five languages and had been in band for twelve years. If anyone could teach herself and a hard of hearing person to sign, it was Robin Buckley.

The only bad part was, they were the only two who seemed to know the damn language, leaving Steve to strain to hear or read lips lest he get (mostly) silently yelled at by some deranged customer.

So when he spotted a guy around his age with long, dark curly hair and perfectly round black glasses with side shields, he knew he had to act.

He knew what it was like to have people gloss over the fact that you exist, or even berate you for it; so he took a page out of Robin's book.

He learned braille.

Sure, technically Steve could still speak to the boy, but wouldn't it be more special if he could read what Steve wanted to say?

So he practiced and practiced until he was happy, bringing the card to work where his crush appeared to be a regular.

As Steve sees him walk in, he knows today's the day.

⠓⠊ ⠊ ⠁⠍ ⠎⠞⠑⠧⠑ ⠎⠕⠗⠗⠽ ⠊⠋ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠊⠎ ⠺⠑⠊⠗⠙ ⠃⠥⠞ ⠊ ⠚⠥⠎⠞ ⠺⠁⠝⠞⠑⠙ ⠞⠕ ⠎⠁⠽ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠗⠑⠁⠇⠇⠽ ⠉⠥⠞⠑ ⠁⠝⠙ ⠊ ⠺⠕⠥⠇⠙ ⠇⠊⠅⠑ ⠞⠕ ⠁⠎⠅ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠕⠥⠞ ⠕⠝ ⠁ ⠙⠁⠞⠑

Hi I am Steve sorry if this is weird but I just wanted to say you are really cute and I would like to ask you out on a date

Steve is giddy when he wanders over to the boy in dark clothes. He had on black jeans that are ripped at the knees, a Metallica band tee, a leather jacket, and a denim battle vest. He's perfect. He's hot.

Steve's footsteps must be louder than he expects because the object of his affection immediately turns in his direction.

"Hi," Steve greets as he presses the thick stock paper into his hands.

The boy angles his head down with a frown as he traces an index finger over the raised dots, before looking right at Steve behind those dark frames.

He takes them off, and Steve learns after so long that his eyes are brown.

"I'm sorry," his crush says, Steve recognizing those syllables easy enough, "But I can't read this. What is it you're trying to say?"

But now that response is too much, Steve can't keep up. All he knows is the card he worked so carefully punching little holes in with a special tool he had to buy was now being pushed back into his hands.

Steve doesn't try to answer, he just wants to get the hell away before his tears spill over, but a hand on his shoulder stops him in his tracks.

He tenses, squeezes his eyes shut and braces for impact, but when a familiar hit doesn't land on his face, he cautiously opens his teary eyes to find him staring right at Steve.

"Are you okay?" He asks, but Steve can't be quite sure if he's checking on him or asking if he's gay.

Steve's own frown appears on his face as he points to his ears.

"Can't hear too good."

His mouth drops open, rushing to spiel something Steve doesn't catch. He must realize this because he's taking Steve's card back from him now as he mimics writing something with raised eyebrows.

Steve nods his head, more confused that the guy he thought was blind seemed to be understanding him perfectly.

He fishes out the little pad of paper and pen he keeps with him for moments not quite like this, passing the two items over.

He scribbles for a moment before letting Steve read what he's written in big loopy letters.

Hi, I'm Eddie. Sorry, I can't read braille. What did you say?

Steve furrows his brows.

I thought you might know it. Aren't you blind?

Eddie shakes his head with a little smile.

The glasses? I have killer migraines. Never go anywhere without them.

Steve smacks himself in the face. He's been such a fool!

Eddie taps him to gain his attention once more before handing him the notepad and pen.

What did you say? I'd like to know :)

Steve worries his bottom lip.

Hi I'm Steve. Sorry if this is weird but I just wanted to say you're really cute and I would like to ask you out on a date

He's nervous as he hands it back, but Eddie's wide grin and eager nod does wonders to knock back those worries.

I thought you'd never ask, Steve.

[empress-simps]

Line That Leads To You

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem! Reader AU: Soulmate AU CW: Language, Genre: Angst with a happy ending (don't worry guys) Summary: You make Sirius realize that having a soulmate isn’t all that bad— that he too, will have his happily ever after.

Note: One of my favorite tropes to write, soulmate AUs! Sirius just needs love and affirmation. I love writing for this! Enjoy! Picture is from pinterest, credits to the owner!

You know, Sirius never really believed in those pesky soulmates stuff. It irks him to no end, and makes his head hurt.

The topic makes him snappy, bitter, and it leaves him feeling angry. To whom? The world— the one who’s responsible for everything that has to do with soulmates. He thinks it is a bunch of bollocks. It’s a pathetic little concept that everyone seems to be too invested in.

Sirius would be very much happy to tell you it doesn’t really end with a happily-ever-after.

“I’m telling you, Prongs. It’s just a bunch of crap.” Sirius tells James one time at the drawing room in the Potter Manor. James shakes his head, disagreeing with his best mate.

“It isn’t always like Walburga and Orion, Pads.” James gently tells him, eyes swimming with empathy for Sirius. “Just look at me, Lily and I are together, finally.” Sirius can’t help but scoff, shaking his head in a disagreeing manner.

“That’s because you were already pathetically in love with her before you even knew she was the one, Prongs. Same thing for Lily, but she was quite stubborn trying to deny what she felt about you. You guys are actually made for each other.” James lets out a laugh, the memories resurfacing making a love-struck smile appear on his face (Sirius gave him a disgusted look)

“That’s what soulmates are, Pads. You’re supposed to complete each other, balance the other person out” He pursed his lips and sighed, there’s no way Prongs could understand his opinion on the matter.

Complete each other, huh?

Then can someone give him a reasonable excuse on why his parents broke each other? One descended into madness; the other doesn’t really seem to care as long as the noble house of Black lineage will continue.

Sirius bites his bottom lip, deep in thought as he stares at his pinky, willing the connection to be seen; a red string that was tied into a bow that leads to Merlin-knows-where. It serves as a connection; the string that he and only his soulmate can see whenever they want. He tugs on it curiously, awaiting any reaction with bated breath. He almost scrambled away when he felt the other end also tug it. Sirius was utterly terrified, a shiver crawled up to his system, it’s foreign feeling for the Black’s eldest son. It made everything feel too real. A fact that he desperately tries to deny.

That night, before they returned to Hogwarts as sixth year students was the last time he ever willed to see the annoying little string in his pinky, not caring if his supposed other half was finding him or already found him.

Maybe it had to do with his twisted upbringing. He saw how his father cut the string tying him to their mother, the purple string that bound them together turning gray and withering away.

He saw how Regulus flinched, no one should’ve seen a scene like that, but they did. Someone severing their connection to someone who should’ve been with them through better or for worse, the one that fate intended for them. Their life got worse just after that, forcing him to flee and leave his younger brother behind at the deranged hands of Walburga Black.

“You should eat more, Reggie.” You turned towards the quiet and reserved Slytherin, pushing his plate closer to him, which made him wince. “I am quite full.” You raised a brow “None sense, all you did was sip pumpkin juice so you better do as I say or I’ll tell Evan and Junior.”

“Do you know that you boss people around quite well?” He grumbles, shoving a few spoonsful of dinner in his mouth as you hummed in approval, cracking a small smile. “I was told.” Your eyes flickered to the Gryffindor table, it seemed to gravitate you, pulling you in.

Looking down at your pinky, you willed the string to be visible to you. Seeing the red string attached to Sirius Black made your stomach churn; was it butterflies? Unease? You don’t particularly know, having mixed reactions to the string that leads to your other half.

You’ve known for over a year now, keeping it to yourself as you quickly figured out that he wants nothing to do with his soulmate.

“Reggie! Reggie!”

You exclaimed, slapping the poor boy’s arm as he was currently staying in the L/n Manor. He looked in your direction, quite annoyed, he was interrupted reading his book. “I’m reading, Y/n. You know, you should too. It’ll do you some good.” He sassed, trying to find which part he stopped reading. “My soulmate! They tugged the string!” You gushed, “They must be looking for me too, right?” You asked no one in particular, you can still feel the tingles you felt, how your heartbeat picked up, and how you felt like you were in could nine.

Quite the opposite from what Sirius felt, huh?

You never told him, never planned to. It was quite clear what his views are on the concept of soulmates when you saw him snogging different girls every week. It wrecked you; you swore you felt your heart stop beating every time you see him loving a girl other than you even just for a week. It sounds stupid and all, but you would give up everything just to know what it feels like; how he will look at you with love and adoration in his eyes, how his touch and kisses would linger on your body, and how his voice would sound like as his breath fans in your ear, whispering promises of love.

You looked at him from the Slytherin table; so close yet so far.

Regulus noticed, the all too familiar broken look in your face. His heart hurts for you, even if you do not tell him, he already knows. Seeing his brother’s indifference, Regulus’s gaze hardened. How could he have the guts to do this to his soulmate?

The memory of their mother's despair, the way she withered away after their father severed the bond, was etched into his mind. Regulus does not wish for anyone to feel that way, he does not wish upon it even in his worst enemies.

It was a pain no one should endure, a lesson that should have been learned.

Yet there sat his brother, laughing with his friends and willfully ignoring the pulls of his heart. The person who held the other end of this unseen tether, was beside Regulus. Your soul ached as you watched your soulmate. It was a betrayal of the heart's deepest connection, and it stirred a tempest of fury within Regulus that he struggled to contain.

“My brother is foolish. Eat.” He states, pushing your food and placing the cornbread on his plate to yours. She cracks a smile, chuckling. “Alright, Reggie. You’re lucky I love you.” You pat his curls, proceeding to eat the bread, smiling a little. Reggie never really shares his food with anyone, except for you. You’re the only exception.

“Padfoot.” Remus starts, looking out of the window as Sirius lays down lazily in his bed, looking at nothing.

“What, Moons?”

“If I say that I have an inkling on who your soulmate is, would you… look for them?” Remus asked cautiously. Peter and James perked up, eyes wide with shock. How could Remus possibly guess who his soulmate is? Unless… They’re also in Hogwarts?

“Don’t start with that crap, Moony.” Sirius sat up; a scowl displayed in his features as his grey eyes turned stormy.

“Don’t you even feel the slightest amount of guilt in your system as you snog other girls?” Remus frowned.

Sirius’s scowl deepened, his hands clenching into fists. “Guilt? For what, Moony? For not wanting to be chained down by some ancient magic?” His voice was a low growl, barely containing the emotions that surged within him. “I won’t be dictated by fate. I make my own choices, and I refuse to be bound by a bond I never asked for.”

Remus’s expression softened, the lines of concern etching deeper into his face. “It’s not about being chained, Pads. It’s about finding someone who complements you, who understands you in ways no one else can.” He paused, his gaze steady and piercing. “You’ve seen what happens when that bond is severed. You’ve seen the pain it causes. Is that what you want for yourself? For your soulmate who’s probably hurting somewhere?”

Sirius looks down, biting his lip and playing with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t plan on severing our bond, Moons- “

“Then what the fuck are you doing?” Remus spat, Sirius flinched, looking at anything but them. He knew deep down that Remus was right. He can’t deny he also wants to look for his soulmate. The only thing that was holding him back is that he’s scared. What if your story would end similarly like how Walburga and Orion’s did? Dread fills his system as he reflects on how he slowly realized he’s becoming like his father. Peter and James exchanged a glance, the weight of the conversation settling heavily upon them.

“I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Scared of finding her… Scared of repeating the same mistakes.” He paused, his gaze lifting to meet Remus’s. “But you’re right. I can’t keep running from this. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to me.”

James offered a supportive smile, feeling happy for his friend. Sirius stood up, his posture straightening as if shedding the weight of his fears. “I’ll do it. I’ll find her,” he declared, his voice steady. “I owe it to both of us to at least try.”

“That’s our Padfoot.” Remus breathes a sigh of relief as Peter nods encouragingly at Sirius.

The next daylight soon came. Sirius gulps, looking around the great hall, feeling quite overwhelmed at the number of students entering for breakfast, eating, or chatting amongst themselves. For the first time in a long time, he willed the red string of fate to reappear within his vision.

Ah, there it was. The red string connected to someone from the Slytherin table. Sirius felt his heart drop, seeing the end of the string connected to your pinky. “Y/n?” The name left his lips in a hushed awe, his heart skipping a beat as he saw the string connected to your pinky. You, who laughed with such ease beside Regulus, were the missing piece.

Whether it was some brotherly instinct, Regulus looked at him, shooting him a warning stare as if to say: ‘If you hurt her, you’ll never see the light of day ever again.’

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, knowing eyes set on his friend. “Found her, Pads?”

“Yeah. Found her, Moony.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” James chimed in, a grin spreading across his face as Peter silently cheers him on. “Go on, before you lose your nerve.”

Sirius took a deep breath, trying to shake off the weight of Regulus’s protective stare. It was a silent challenge, a vow to keep your heart safe from his brother. With a nod of acknowledgment, Sirius stepped forward, crossing the small distance between the Gryffindor table and Slytherin.

“Y/n,” he said, standing before you, the red string pulsing with a life of its own.

You stilled, slowly looking in his direction. Eyes wide with surprise, searched his for a moment before softening. “I was wondering when you’d come around,” you teared up, making Sirius’ heart ache.

Sirius extended his hand, the red string wrapping around both your destinies. “Let’s talk, yeah?”

And in that moment, as your fingers intertwined, Sirius knew that whatever the future held, he had made the right choice. For in finding you, he had found a new path that began to unravel, one filled with hope and courage. The buzz of Great Hall continued, but both of them felt time still, feeling the bond weave into their souls deeper.

Sirius’s and Y/n’s story had its flaws, but it was theirs, uniquely woven by the red strings of fate.

[thebadchoicemachine]

I’m absolutely deranged right now BUT

2012 AU where April is the only one left. Ever. Life on other planets is gone too. The turtles got warped into a cosmic eldritch state (technically gods but like them as people are for sure super dead). The remnants of them follow April.

Donnie is now a force of inspiration, Raph of strength and passion, Mikey of chaos, and Leo of clarity and stealth.

April travels dimension in their ship now, searching for a world just like hers that she can just hop into. Since the multiverse is infinite but she no longer ages she can search infinitely. This drives her a little insane obviously. She’s also run into a LOT of worlds where one of the main four or splinter is dead or where they don’t exist at all.

Then she crashes into ROTTMNT world. Wants a break to hang out there for a moment. Needs a break.

Anyway, then the Rise gang has to deal with this alternate dimension “”April”” who’s clearly Unwell mentally but also can keep up with every turtle in their respective field for some reason?

April goes “MIKEY! Why’re you so small here? You still a weirdo? Good. RAPH! Whoah are you guys different species here? Donnie! You’re even more purple that I was expecting, nice! Can you help me with a tracker—LEOOoooo…. there’s nothing familiar about you to me! but I am happy to see you too!”

After a LOT of convincing they let her stay. They slowly bond discussing their dimensions differences. Eventually April starts saying some really weird things, asking questions about death in fits of solemness, talking to herself as though the tmnt are there, stuff like that. Especially to Rise!April.

Rise!Donnie after snooping investigating her stuff gets it in his head that she had gone insane and killed everyone and was plotting to kill them. His evidence? The braided cloth she wore around her neck was actually all their masks.

Rise!Raph calms him down like “hey. That’s crazy.”

Leo integers with the evidence that SHE (Other [2012] April) is crazy.

Mikey, who’s been oddly silent and hasn’t stopped staring at the masks, (the only one who’s put the empathetic pieces together of the loss April must be going through) begins to ask “What if she just—“

Other April is standing in the doorway with her hockey stick, casting a shadow on all of them. She’s visibly furious, and honestly terrifying as she rushes toward the brothers.

Instead of attacking them, though, she just shoves them out of the way and frantically begins braiding the masks back together.

“You can’t separate them,” she scolded, panic and anger and a deep forlorn in her voice. “They have to stay together. How’d YOU feel if I tore you from your bro—“

She stops realizing how they’re all looking at her. Apologizes. Says she’ll leave now.

Mikey says wait and asks very very gently if she’d like to talk about it. Other April stops. Then breaks down a little.

One emergency session with the whole family gathered later, Shedder asks Other April to begin talking, if she’s ready. She numbly shrugs and says “it’s a short story. I lost everything.”

Splinter goes into a really wise and comforting lecture about how there’s always something left as long as she’s around but Other April snappily stops him.

“You don’t understand. I lost EVERYTHING. It’s not just my dad, or Splinter, or Casey, or Leo, Mikey, Raph, or Donnie. It’s all gone. I can never go home because I don’t have a home to go back to.” She starts tearing up, processing emotions she’s spent lifetimes avoiding with her search. “When Earth was destroyed I thought ‘that’s it. I’ll never be sad again. I just watched billions of people die, I watched my whole life—every human’s entire world—implode. How do you even grieve that?.”

She explains her whole story, though the others ask a lot of questions when she gets to what exactly happened to the turtles, and her goal of finding a home exactly like hers but without an April.

They all agree she’s 100% insane, but genuine, and IS their friend. Lots of good family stuff happens and In the end, Other April is unable to be convinced to abandon her mission of finding HER friends again, but is a lot less one-minded about it. Donnie helps rig her up a way to track the dimensions she’s in both so she can search easier and so she can return eventually.

They all say goodbye, Rise!April gives her the biggest hug imaginable and a bunch of weapons. The boys send her off with a copy of just about every Lou Jitsu and JJ film they can think of, and she’s off.

[honeysweetcorvidae]

something bouncing around in my mind that I’d really love to hear your thoughts on is regarding how shuake age together (assuming they get to, bc I am a Goro lives truther). On one hand, I love thinking about what a mature, comfortable relationship might look like for them. (Learning each other’s sensory idiosyncrasies? favorite foods? preferred ways to wind down after a tiring day and what time to carve out for each other vs for themselves?) and yet I also wonder if that domestication… like… loses some specific flavor in the shuake? they’re Weird about each other, we know this to be true & its like the spice of the ship. I’m curious what you imagine their relationship might look like in 20, 30 years. Because I’ve personally experienced how the things that are exciting at 17 are annoying/uninteresting now that I’m older, tastes change, things get stale… yet I also believe they would continue to find the other interesting and continue valuing and loving each other, even in domesticity haha. But there are so many ways to imagine that changing as they age, if it does. as someone else who has Copious shuake thoughts I wanted to toss this at you and hopefully hear your take on things. love and light <33

(forgive me if this is a little disconnected, it’s one a.m.) this is a really fun question to think about!! i’m personally of the opinion that they will always be at least a little bit deranged— i think they’re the type of people to say “see you next week!” to a friend and the next time you see them they’ve like, traveled halfway around the world and destabilized a tyrannical government. as a way to unwind from a long few weeks of running a cafe. (more under the cut)

as a COUPLE i personally find myself in a camp of “deeply intense and kind of annoying”— they’re the kind of guys who do not tend to do things in half measures, right, so i think once they’ve settled on being Together they’re fuckign together. long haul. really profoundly aggravating to be around. they compete a lot still but i imagine it mellows over the years.

akechi in particular, i think, would be really set on Having And Taking Care Of joker (a fic i’m particularly fond of that gets into the dynamic i imagine for them(albeit in college, so still fairly close to canon) is malevolentmango’s old habits die loved) because he’s the kind of guy who needs A Purpose, and if he’s going to keep living beyond his expected use date then he needs SOMETHING to DO, you know? again, i think that mellows over the years, but he’ll always be Kind Of Intense.

i also have a vague headcanon about them adopting. personally i don’t have a breeding kink can’t really imagine them wanting to go the bio-kid route, but i can absolutely see them taking in a kid, particularly an older, more “difficult” one. one series i looooove [although i’ve never really been into joker as a therapist, but they do make it work] is frockbot’s tricksters, which goes super into detail on them taking in kids in a similar situation to goro and struggling through the growing pains of it. my OWN unwritten-but-moderately-fleshed-out babyconcept is “horrible little rat they both independently bond with in a kind of sitcom parallel-storylines situation”. (behold.)

anyway that aside:

i do think there’s merit to the idea that the shit you liked when you were seventeen doesn’t always hold interest anymore. but i also think they’ll probably always enjoy the rush of arguing over everything and scheming for no reason and fighting in another world, if they can get it! they probably chase their weird freak highs in a lot of ways. i could see all kinds of things— rock climbing. intense ballroom dancing. really dangerous investigative journalism. things of this nature. i can’t see them settling down Normalstyle with 2.5 biological children and a dog and office jobs and therapy*, personally. i do believe they’re always going to be weird and a little codependent and a little unnerving to be around. but in a nice way! eventually.

anyway, thank you for the ask!!! it’s soooo fun to think about this sort of thing. i love the idea of them with a future and space to breathe.

*frockbot notwithstanding. tricksters Earned that shit

[howling-medic]

The next generation of chaos

A/N: Here are a few headcanons about the sons of two of my favorite chaotic menaces. This quite literally kept me up. I went to bed thinking about these fools, and I woke up still thinking about them - an hour before my alarm. Yes, I am salty about that bit of it. As such, it's not edited the best, and it's far from my best writing. However, it is up because I want it out of my WIPs folder, and I need to cry with other people about how much I love these characters.

Credit to @emilybeemartin. Their artwork inspired these deranged ramblings. Please check out the original post. I am not kidding when I say that the first time I pondered this I was scrolling, stumbled on her artwork, my jaw dropped, and I ran to my laptop to jam out a few notes. I am still in awe of this art. Go give her all the love.

With all that said, here are some headcanons about Faramir Took and Elboron. Guest appearances of their fathers along with Aragorn and Eldarion:

Faramir Took would love to learn like his father and namesake alike. We know Pippin later assembled the Tale of Years, and Faramir aided in continuing the tradition as he grew up and took over as Thain. As was noted in the original post, Faramir would also be the spiciest lionhearted hobbit - just like his father. There would be no foe too big for him. He would train with the Rangers of Ithilien and the Knights of Gondor to hone his swordsmanship at every opportunity. Pippin would train with him back in The Shire. Watching his son learn to fight would remind Pippin of learning from Boromir in Eriador. One night after training, Pippin would sit Faramir down and tell him all about his namesake’s brother and how Boromir saved his life. Faramir would have heard this story many times before, but he would listen to it all again in rapt attention.

Elbooron grows up to be slightly more reserved than Faramir (the younger), but he gained a bit more mischief than his father - for which Pippin is absolutely responsible. He never causes any lasting damage or harms anyone, unlike Faramir the younger who may or may not have accidentally blown up a shed with a firework, but he plays small pranks when he gets the chance. Well, no lasting damage unless you count the premature gray hairs he puts on Faramir’s head. Faramir (the younger) loves to join in on the fun whenever he is around, and he makes everything ten times worse, in the best way. Nothing is safe in the kitchen, no fireworks can be left unsupervised. The problem is Faramir Took knows far too much about how to be sneaky to be caught by a few guards. After all, he had to learn to best his dad, who stole the palantir from Gandalf. Pippin takes great pride in how sneaky his son is, and Diamond has to remind him to be serious when son is in trouble for his latest mischief.

As the two boys grow, Elboron eagerly shares all his latest findings and pieces of knowledge with his dear friend from the time they are children - whether in person or in letters. When he is very young, he will beg Éowyn or Faramir - whoever happens to be closest - to write letters for him about the new flower he found or the new game he played. He works twice as hard to learn to his letters to be able to write Faramir on his own, so he never has to wait for his parents again.

Faramir looks forward to these exchanges more than almost anything even when it’s the most mundane of facts or theories that hold little interest for him. Elboron’s excitement is infectious. (I am simply ignoring the fact that it would take at minimum 3ish months to travel from The Shire to Ithilien, which would make it a six month process to get a response to a letter; time and distance mean nothing)

As adults, both Elboron and Faramir would be treasured advisors to the other - Elboron leaning on Faramir when unsure if a situation calls for military action and needing reassurance that it is the correct decision as well as leaning on his friend to be his more impulsive and hot headed half in general, and Faramir leaning upon Elboron to temper his more fiery nature.

The two fathers love nothing more than watching their boys play together and learn from each other when they're young.. They sit together and reminisce on their younger and wilder days. Some days one of them will get a far off look in their eyes and wonder aloud what Boromir’s children would be like. The other would sigh and say “would that he could share in these moments with us.” “He lives in us, and then in them, my friend,” the other would answer. For a long while they would both fall silent and gaze out towards the Falls of Rauros and Amon Hen. [expanded below]

Aragorn and Eldarion make a point to watch over all the children of Faramir and Pippin as they age, promising them both to keep them out of trouble and keep them safe when their fathers pass, serving as a godfather and older brother respectively. The assurances bring a degree of peace that neither knows they need, but what surprises them most is that the promise to look after their friend’s son is almost more reassuring than the promise to look after their own. Both know their own son will manage, but they fear for their friend’s son losing them, for they know they have become a confidant and comfort to them over the years.

The task is a challenge, but they mostly succeed. Faramir takes to calling Aragorn 'Strider’ even when not appropriate, just as Pippin did. Thankfully for all, where Pippin became more of a menace as he aged, just was smarter about it, Faramir seemed to learn at least a little bit from his namesake about mellowing...and got smarter about his mischief like his father did. He never did stop calling Aragorn 'Strider.' Elboron, while as quiet natured and scholarly as his father, also inherited his father's keen perception and ability to read people. With it, he inherited Faramir’s propensity for mischief and teasing (we saw Faramir in Ithilien with Frodo and Sam, he likes to mess with people; the man is a bit of a menace) that would only exponentiated by his close relationship with Pippin and Faramir. Rarely does it get Elboron in trouble, but every once in a while it lands him in a tight spot when he's a little too on the nose with his teasing or calls out the wrong noble for ill intent with no concrete proof other than vibes. Eventually, he does master both causing mischief and being politically savvy with the help of his gift. It gives Aragorn a few gray hairs, Faramir the younger loves it, Eldarion loves watching his father fall victim to a new generation of chaos and remembers fondly his days spent with Pippin and Faramir the older.

I am impossible and simply cannot let a good chance for some angst and feels to go, so here. Let me annihilate your emotions as I did my own! (aka I made myself sad, so now you all have to be sad with me)

What can never be

Faramir and Pippin sat on a bench along the edge of the Garden of the Fountain. So rare were the days they could spend like this, especially in the White City. There were times, however, they both reported back to Minas Tirith. Over the years, those trips had become precious gifts, and occasions for their families to visit, as much as they were political events. 

The sun had begun to set on this day, and on this visit. Elboron and Faramir played in the grass, some game involving chasing each other and periodically freezing, of which only children could fully comprehend the intricacies. At one break in the action their fathers had asked and became rapidly baffled, but they were giggling with such glee that it warmed both Pippin’s and Faramir’s hearts too much to fret the details. 

While the sun continues its descent, they reminisced on the old days, their younger and wilder days. They keep their voices hushed for fear of encouraging their children to engage in exactly the same mischief they themselves did. Pippin snickered. “Did I ever tell you of the time that Merry and I stole one of Gandalf’s fireworks? Surely I have.”

“Many times, Pippin,” Faramir assured him, “But tell me again. I was just thinking of how much I miss Mithrandir and his wisdom.” 

“Well, I cannot say this was one of his wisest moments. It certainly was not Merry’s or mine, but…” and with that he plunged into the familiar tale. Faramir grinned. He wondered how many times Boromir heard exactly this story. Well, not exactly. Pippin never told the same tale more than once. They always shifted and grew in their retellings based on what effect the hobbit wanted to have. This one felt as though it might be close to the truth. It was a quiet retelling, private, meant to hold onto the memory of a dearly missed friend at a time when things were simplest for the Pippin. 

Faramir wasn’t sure when Pippin fell silent, or when his own gaze had gone distant, but he blinked twice and came back to himself. He found Pippin looking much the same as he was sure he had moments before. Neither of their eyes were trained on their sons, who played on utterly unaware of their fathers’ distraction. Instead, both of them stared out at a spot that was far from visible, but they could both see it with perfect clarity. When Pippin spoke it was barely audible and his focus never came back to the moment. “What would his kids be like, do you think?” 

Faramir had no need for Pippin to say of whom he spoke. It was not the first time, nor would it be the last, they had this conversation. Faramir sighed, a deep and pained sigh. “We will never know with any certainty, my friend, but he lives on in us, and then in them.”

Silence hung between them until Pippin uttered what they both were thinking. “Would that he could share in these moments with us.” 

They fell silent once again. It was an easy silence. One of shared pain, which gave comfort to them both. The sun had nearly fallen past the horizon, and both sons sat in their own quiet conversation. Their fathers gazed out towards the Falls of Rauros, Amon Hen, and beyond to Parth Galen lost in memories and wondering about what could never be.

////////////Tagging @ @elevensiesexpert at their request///////////////

[zan0tix]

I yap so much about the comic and the importance i find in its contents but i hope when i write dirk or jake or rlly any of them it doesnt come off as me dumbing them down😭

I know the core internal mechanisms at which they all operate from otherwise i wouldnt understand why they even do what they do and why they speak how they do since that is so crucial to analysis of their behaviour and Why they were written.

But i mostly write silly scenarios so the deeper messier parts dont get to show much😭 working on deeper things tho rest assured i am locking in🫡🫡🫡

I try to match the tones of how i believe the characters would act continuing off the ending of homestuck. With dirk and jake specifically i try to write them to where they still both kinda dont say everything they need to but they dont have the weight of narrative destiny on their shoulders anymore so they can admit they like spending time together and have actually confessed like normal people and got out those apologies they kept yammering on about in the last half of act 6

I try to reinvoke the ridiculous nature of the one time we really see the real dirk and jake talk (which was actually a dreambubble memory. jake is so gay.) but i try to make it feel how that did, they really do love spending time together and just being weird and cringe and bantering about stupid shit ❤️(the most we see dirk type laugh in the comic)

(Always Highly recommend reading this log if you havent in a while. Its just such good writing theyre so funny) https://www.homestuck.com/story/4844

I feel like the Best Bros part of dirkjake kinda gets lost alot of the time considering THEY NEVER SPEAK DIRECTLY (which is insane that hussie could craft this universe bending gender norm shattering yaoi with no fucking interactions wtf anyway) but there is alot you can gleam from jakes interactions with hal and this one log to tell us how they usually speak

Dirk always veers into making homoerotic comments because.. i dunno he might have feelings for jake or something whos to say. and when jake presses him dirk immediately diverts. I think from being around dave and everything daves realised thats bullshit about masculine standards and heroism that let him have a healthier relationship to masculinity, hearing abt that would loosen dirk up about Actually being affectionate to jake

But hes still somehow trying to no homo his way out of things that are incredibly homo just in a subtler way, not immediately going “Haha, what? I never said that. Anyway.” (Its both out of his fear for what his true identity means about him as a man but also because he doesnt think he deserves to get such affections cough thinks himself an evil)

And jake was always going with the flow. If his friends socially decreed something as okay to talk about then the fucking damn burst open and he couldnt keep it in anymore but they had to Very Clearly Clarify with him about it. So i think dirk going down a more positive road would lead jake there too seeing that if its okay for dirk to be less restrictive with his feelings jake can be too.

The Epilogues has a highly specific premise and was being manned by caliborn and calliope 2.0 cranked to the max in the deranged fanfic behaviour so. Of course it would not be a healthy environment for characters to grow💀 anyone who takes it as full confirmation about how theyd act or become as adults and ignores the fact of its premise Being “Homestuck but Sick and Twisted; The Fanfiction” is kind of stupid its like saying homosuck was in character. Ofc everybodys lives goes to shit because the two running the show dont know how the hell to be good puppeteers 😭

Said it on twitter but you can tell how much a dirk hates himself based on his relationship to a jake. Because tho ult dirk wouldnt ever admit it jake is dirks anchor of self worth just as dirk is jakes. When they show compassion and kindness to one another its a step closer to self acceptance because Jake is quite frankly a living embodiment of EVERYTHING that is “wrong” (queer, cringe, sincere, feminine) about Dirk to himself in his saviour complex surrounding manhood. (See Everything caliborn says about jake) jakes always waiting for dirk. If dirk were to step down and admit his own humanity itd mean hed have to accept he is capable of growing and isnt inherently evil, and jake would be ready to embrace that about himself too

Anyway all that to say. Even in my simple silly writing i at least do try to retain dirk and jakes strange emotional dodging olympics but also its just on a smaller level since theyve inching their way to fully internalising that Its Okay to be Cringe and Gay Together❤️ because the World isnt Ending anymore. Its in the little things they dont say because haha im the one who makes them say words.

Dirk and jake hate themselves because theyre not men in the right way but their love is because of them not being men in the right way so.. nerm.. Whos flying the plane?

[jadeazora]

Quite a long read below, but I have to admire the dedication to the meme 😂

Feeling blue? It’s because there’s too much water. Your mood can turn gray on rainy days. From a broader perspective, water is the cause of all the world’s woes. All life exists on land. It is where Pokémon hatch from their Eggs. Where they train, battle, and evolve. It’s the source of the Berries that heal and sustain them. Even the mighty Mudkip, Hoenn’s beloved Water-type first partner Pokémon, sees a limited future for itself in water. Why else would it evolve into the Water- AND Ground-type Marshtomp?

Deep down, we all recognize the dangers of water. Land rhymes with grand. Boom! Roasted. Speaking of which, you can’t roast anything in water, and roasting is one of the five best cooking methods—but back to water’s imminent dangers. Even a puddle can ruin someone’s day, so the only safe amount of water is none. While humans fall victim to technology, turning away from nature’s sanctity, Pokémon remain deeply connected to nature. And Pokémon know that water is dangerous; why else would Dragonite dedicate its precious time to flying over immense stretches of sea to rescue people from drowning? How far have we sunk morally that this noble Pokémon must exhaust itself rescuing humans from this dire threat when there is an alternative solution at hand?

If we’re being honest—which the anti-water faction can afford to be with the advantage of facts and Groudon on our side—water tastes terrible. There’s an entire line of products specifically designed to enhance its flavor. It’s worth noting that there are no products to enhance the flavor of earth, because it tastes fine exactly the way it is. If you were thirsty in the middle of the ocean, what would you do with all that water? Clearly, the deranged water apologists bent on marinating us all in this deadly liquid have failed to accurately assess the threat that it poses to humans and Pokémon alike.

It’s no accident that many sports and leisure activities are devoted to avoiding the water. Boats are the most common method of traversing the stuff, and yet their entire purpose is to help you stay dry. Surfboards, jet skis, wetsuits, and even ridable Pokémon like Lapras, Mantine, and Basculegion are all indicative of humanity’s natural and entirely logical aversion to water. In reality, you can enjoy all these activities on land. Sandboarding is every bit as thrilling as surfing. And from a purely fashionable perspective, life vests and flippers ruin any ensemble. Of course, to each his own. Who am I to judge if someone likes the frayed shorts and bandana look? As a person whose style is impeccable, though, I’m much more aware of how important it is to look your best.

Like any person of reasonable logic, I could pontificate on the many dangers, drawbacks, and downsides of water for longer than Groudon’s subterranean slumber, but I have responsibilities elsewhere. I hope I have managed to plant the seeds of doubt concerning this insidious substance. Should you decide to take up our cause, you know where to find me.

Seeing red? You probably need more water. Irritability is a proven side effect of dehydration. There’s no problem that can’t be solved by water. Water is life. Without it, there would be no Magikarp struggling heroically to overcome the limitations of its biology, inspiring us all with its courage. No surfing Pikachu lifting spirits with its gnarly moves. No Squirtle, and certainly no Squirtle Squad. Eager young Pokémon Trainers would visit Professor Birch, excited to meet the Mudkip that would become their first partner on their Pokémon journey, only to find an empty Poké Ball.

What’s so great about land, anyway? There’s a reason land rhymes with bland. You know what isn’t bland? Soup. Everyone knows soup is the epitome of culinary ambition and delight, and what is soup if not seasoned water? If only being bland were the land’s only crime. Land is dangerous—volcanoes, quicksand, drought, and so forth. You know what extinguishes volcanoes, liquefies quicksand, and ends drought? Water. In fact, Kyogre, that magnificent master of aquatic realms, is known to save people suffering the effects of droughts. Without the parched, overrated land, the world and its many beautiful Pokémon would never know the horrors of another drought.

If the land is so safe, explain shoes. While swimming or otherwise interacting with water, we shed our footwear, instinctively wanting to maximize our physical contact with water. When walking on land, though, we wear shoes, acknowledging the inherent danger and uncleanliness of the earth. It’s not unreasonable to theorize that any pro-land faction is secretly funded and driven by Big Footwear.

If land is so wonderful, explain the existence of swimming pools. What are these giant, land-bound containers if not an expression of humankind’s yearning for the soothing, invigorating embrace of that life-giving liquid? Similarly, we embark on cruises because we long for the sea. Without water, we would forever lose the majesty of jet skis, gliding as effortlessly as Lapras. Snorkeling, kayaking, diving, windsurfing, wakeboarding, and water polo would all cease to exist without water. Water aerobics, which we can all agree embodies the nobility of the human spirit and incredible capability of the human body, relies entirely on the presence of water. Without it, we would be left with just aerobics—a pale and paltry imitation.

Finally—our bodies are roughly 60% water. Without it, we would be dried, unrecognizable husks, which is an accurate description of anyone unfeeling enough to dismiss the beauty and wonder of soup, the sea, jet skis, Squirtle, and our existence. Long live the water. I hope these arguments have sufficiently piqued your interest and whet your appetite for knowledge about the benefits and necessity of water.

Article here.

[earl-grey-teacake]

so how are we feeling after that news.

I am not sure how I feel about everything since I just keep finding out more stuff and it makes me feel worse and worse. I’m sad, and upset, and it feels like a tinge of grief. Not for my own dreams or aspirations but for Logan’s. That being said, I will continues writing my Baby!Loscar AU and I will continue/ start my other Loscar fics. I feel like it is a tough time and I hope to make it a little bit lighter.

I think my biggest feeling is overall disdain and disgust for how Williams went about this. My biggest issue is the whole situation being portrayed as “Williams is a business, this was a business decision. No emotion here” Businesses are not faceless entities, they are teams of people. It’s why teams put a lot of effort in PR and companies invest so much in HR. They are comprised of people and we as spectators and fans also play a role in the business that is Williams. Fandoms are profitable, fan content keeps people engaged, and those who are engaged spend money. This decision has shot William’s PR and whatever goodwill they managed to achieve last year. Logan is a martyr in the eyes of fans and James Vowles has come off as a deranged man. For the past month, any comments to the media are either of him passive-aggressively calling Logan a failure or thirsting after Carlos in a way that makes me want to call HR.

This decision isn’t even a money decision either. They talk about the upgrades, and need for points but are putting their faith in a driver that is clearly being brought up from F2 too early. They are taking risks that genuinely make no sense to me and I am afraid it may damage this new rookie’s confidence on top of it.

I cannot tell if James Vowles is doing this because he wants to live a bit wild before Carlos comes, has a vendetta against Logan, or he is just off his rockers.

I am happy Logan is out of there though and wherever he goes, I go. I hope he goes to Indycar. This is not me seeing Indycar as so lesser sport where unsuccessful F1 drivers should go it. I have great admiration for Indycar and genuinely enjoy watching it more than F1. My wish for Logan to go to Indycar is for the general vibe and how friendly everyone is and for the fact that I live 3 hours away from a track and will absolutely take PTO to see Logan race.

Personal feelings are below if anyone wants to read them.

I got into F1 last year around September but really dove into it around the beginning of November. Logan was someone who never really stood out to me in the beginning but I began to notice him more and more around October and November and I couldn’t help but sympathize for him. I remember how anxious I was waiting for him to be re-signed and the relief I felt when it happened.

I wanted him to do well and succeed so desperately and as it became more and more apparent that James and Williams, were doing, I became a bigger and bigger fan of him. I know I’ve mentioned it briefly on here before but near the end of last year and the first half of this year, I was dealing with a toxic workplace and an abusive supervisor. As the months went on, the treatment towards me got worse and worse and so did Williams’s treatment of Logan. Our workplace started to mirror each other.

The remarks, the veiled threats, the passive-aggressive comments that points to the same message “you’re under-performing, you’re not good enough”. Most of all, the expectation to practically perform miracles with tools and equipment that was vastly behind the rest of the field. I know very well how heavy and oppressive the work environment must have been. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to have to be doing it everyday, to have to perform for the public like everything is fine, and take the abuse from James, from journalists and commentators, and social media. I was already breaking under my supervisors treatment of me, I definitely would have snapped in Logan’s shoes. However, while my supervisor got kicked out of their position, Logan was the one who got kicked off the team. I do hope he takes the summer to enjoy himself and heal.

I feel so bad for him and I’m so upset at how I didn’t know this was his last race. I had Abu Dhabi planned out thinking that was going to be Logan’s last and now I’m just a bit crushed.

[velvet-vox]

My Top 10 Favourite Male Villains of all time.

"How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything but irrelevant". -John Greer, Person of Interest (2011-2016).

There comes a moment in a blog's life where some things are just long overdue, and while the argument could be made that this happened way too early, I'd say that as long as this helps me to find my groove, I am free to experiment as much as I want.

So..... Villains.

Gotta love them. As long as I do not meet them in real life. This post is in particular about male villains since I have one dedicated to their female counterparts in the pipeline so expect that to come soon enough and for this part to be rewritten. By the way, "villain" is a generalisation, I can totally put antivillains, antagonists or more general antiheroes in this list; your definition of "Bad Guy" can vary greatly and so can mine, someone like Walter White from Breaking Bad could have made it in here. My taste is very unusual, so prepare yourself for some unexpected picks.

Also, since these are meant to be some big celebratory posts, for the occasion I'll reveal my Italian heritage and translate every line of dialogue in Italian and publish it separately with a link, so that English readers who are learning Italian can exercise.

Here's also a follow up to this post, the first part of my top 30 favourite female antagonists of all time. Check it out, if you are curious to see more.

The bad girls

But first, some honourable mentions:

Oropo (Wakfu): Once you see the number 2 spot for both this list and the female villains list you might notice that I tend to gravitate towards characters with wasted potential more often than not, but while we're just talking about this guy, I cannot stress enough the amount of unceremonious mishandling that lies within his concepts and execution. Really needed two seasons of 25 episodes each to explore it to their maximum.

Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda): I love him, but not as much as others, it's a matter of personal preference. He's an amazing antagonist, so even if he is just an honourable mention, I wouldn't call him a lesser villain by any stretch of the imagination; I once felt like he was too sympathetic for his movie's sake, but looking back at it again, he's actually moderately evil for a lot of reasons, even if Shifu is the main one.

Bill Chyper (Gravity Falls): It's been way too long since I watched Gravity Falls, I really can't give you an accurate opinion on this guy anymore.

Flintheart Glomgold (DuckTales 2017): That season 2 episode. If you know what I'm talking about, you KNOW. Also the music for that whole sequence was a banger, really driving home the deranged nature of that twist reveal.

Big Jack Horner (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): I feel like when people praise Jack for being a breath of fresh air in a stale environment, they often forget just how good of a villain he was in his own right without the larger industry wide void of truly devious antagonists that act out of pure malice.

The Wolf (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): Two villain entries from one movie? Of course it was gonna be The Last Wish, what else could it be? Honestly I don't even wanna talk about this guy, you need to experience the movie for yourself.

Rob (The Amazing World of Gumball): Everything I have to say about this guy gets talked about much better by the number 6 Spot on this list, but as it stands Rob was my first villain OTP and the guy who opened the box of Pandora for me on what an antagonist could and should be, since then my perception of villainy only widened and now I enjoy their role in a story in much different way.

And now, with that out of the way, let's finally start with the ranking of my personal favourite male villains of all time.

Major spoilers down below:

Number 10: Silco (Arcane)

This guy is the reason that brought me to specify who or what counted for this list as trying to simplify Silco into one specific group of characters is a challenge that can only end in a misunderstanding of what makes Silco such a complex and fascinating character with an amazing character arc, that ends with him not being redeemed, mind you, but allows the audience to grieve in such a way that would make a side character death jealous.

When writing an antagonistic character, Silco is my goal and high standard, and just for that he deserves all of my respect and endless praise.

Now, admittedly, Silco's arc takes a while to kick in, but it works out to his advantage by the end of it since you don't realise just how much you've grown to care for him until he's dead and you're left with the surprise.

10 out 10, the nation of Zaun would have been much better (worse) with him than with Vander.

Number 9: The Riddler (DC)

The Riddler is literally my ride or die villain, when I'm in the mood for him, he's literally my favourite antagonist ever; when I am not in the mood for him, I completely forget about his existence.

When compared to many other entries on this list, Riddler is definitely more on the pop culture side of antagonism, and when you've been around for almost a century, you tend to have many different versions of the same character written by different writers, so I wanted to highlight here my favourite versions of him:

Arkham Games: He's hilarious. He's not my ideal Riddler, but whenever he comes on screen, his whiny rat's ass voice stimulates my pheromones.

Batman The Animated Series: I've heard somewhere that this version of him is disappointing, and to that I'll say... yeah, but only when he wasn't on screen, because otherwise, he kind of slayed.

Matt Reeves The Batman: This is the version that rekindled my love for him after so long. Out of every interpretation of The Riddler throughout the years, this is the one version that treated Edward more as a character rather than an obstacle for Batman to overcome, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

LEGO Batman The Videogame: My very first introduction to The Riddler and the Batman universe as a whole, this version has a permanent place in my heart , I love how much information and emotion you can get out of him by just looking at his mannerisms and quirks alone; unironically, being silent helps him reach that quote on quote idealised version of Riddler that I was talking about earlier.

Number 8: The Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

There are many things that can carry on a villain in a story, their evolution, stage presence, complexity, thematic contrast to their counterpart, and so on and so forth. While an antagonist can check off many of these boxes simultaneously (like the one pictured), there's one box that is almost impossible to truly nail perfectly: comedy.

You see, comedy is subjective, and when your main antagonist is also the funniest part of a given story, it becomes hard to also match a sense of gravity and menace that allows them to also be an imposing threat, even harder is to give said antagonist depth and a tragic backstory.

But somehow, out of nowhere, The Snatcher from A Hat In Time manages to simultaneously be the funniest character in his section of the game, carrie said energy throughout the whole experience even down to the DLC, simultaneously strikes the balance between being scary, wholesome, sympathetic and tragic, exude an insane amount of charisma, all while having a deeply disturbing backstory that touches on some heavy themes and re contextualises his actions into something more complicated and out of a broken man, everything I just said + he's the biggest bastard in his videogame and never repents nor does he have his actions called out.

Snatcher really has all the right cards that make a stationary character work and uses them to his maximum potential, and it works because his character arc throughout the game is more about becoming affectionate to Hat Kid than it is about redeeming himself.

Lastly, his voice actor, Luke Sizemore, aka Yungtown, really sells the performance of this devious soul eating worm and burns his catchphrases into your brain for the rest of eternity, much like his boss theme,

Your Contract Has Expired

A song that switches around being scary, epic, energetic and desperate in a short, yet perfectly paced amount of time. You need to listen to it regardless of if you've played the game or not.

Fool.

Number 7: Judge Claude Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

You can never say no to a classic.

There's nothing that I could say that hasn't already been said by thousands of videos on YouTube, but I'll try anyway: you see, Frollo is the reason why we need a new term to identify certain villains that aren't "sympathetic" but still make you feel some sort of human emotion and a form of "I wish someone could give you the care you need to fix your life", I guess the term empathetic exists, but when do you really see it used?

Now, don't get me wrong, Frollo is absolutely not sympathetic in the slightest, he wants to r##e a Romani woman that's way younger than him, but you can still feel that he's very troubled about it in the Hellfire scene and has definitely a lot of unidentified issues and internalised bigotry that could be worked through, even if it's too late to work through them right now.

In general, I feel like people forget that the main reason why past Disney villains worked had to do more with their human traits juxtaposed to their malice rather than just their plain wickedness, otherwise the Horned King from the Black Cauldron would be top of the Disney villains league and that couldn't be further from the truth.

We should really strive towards writing more villains like Frollo, less omnipotent beings that end up falling flat because they don't have much thematic relevance aside from being a threat (Bill Chyper works because he represents Ego and he's used sparingly) and more average vicious individuals who use their power and influence to get what they want.

All in all, if you've seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame, then you know why this guy is here, but just to cite a couple of repeated points, the Hellfire scene is perfect. It's immaculate. It's unreproducible; there will never be another scene like this coming out of the House of Mouse or animation ever again, the excessive amount of stars and elements that came together to create this gothic classic is so vast that it's literally a miracle.

Frollo is truly the personification of the dark, twisted side of humanity peaking through the door and into your mind, from which he shall never escape as his performance still remains perfect to this very day.

Number 6: The Spot (Spider-man across the Spiderverse)

"You've hit me with a bagel!" It's still the greatest villain origin story of all time. There's truly something maniacal about this reveal, like the entire universe was shattered and reality was shocked at the mere realization that while Miles was having his coming of age moment back in the first film, this guy was having his normal life completely and utterly shattered by a combination of both our heroes stepping up to do the right thing and our doofus lack of foresight and self reflection; all of this stuff is hilarious and completely made up for the film but good god they did such an amazing job tying all the elements together in an unexpected way that makes sense and parallels the journey that our protagonist faced in the first movie.

Like with Rob from The Amazing World of Gumball, and a little bit like number 2 on this list, I just really enjoy the concept of turning background characters who had no relevance whatsoever into the big bad of the story who's been there all along and the heroes (and the audience) just couldn't notice.

With The Spot in particular, there's that sense of satisfaction of turning the wasted potential of a villain who has been underestimated for literal decades and treated as a "villain of the week" (God do I love the meta narrative of this movie) into an actual competent, well written antagonist that is aware of his reputation and strives towards bettering himself and his powers.

He's also the funniest character of his movie too and the voice acting of Jason Schwartzman only accentuates his mannerisms and pettyness.

He also has the coolest usage of portals I have ever seen and his whole "There's a hole inside all of us" metaphor is simultaneously hilarious and very deep personal information that can only be understood if you put yourself into his shoes.

I can't wait for Beyond the Spiderverse to come out and see how his arc resolves, more importantly, I wonder if he's going to rank higher in the future.

Number 5: Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

"Happiness must be taken. And I'll take mine"

.....

What a character.

What a movie.

You cause so much pain and suffering, because you don't understand the people around you, and then those people banish you, and you can't understand why, so you start to believe that they hated you.

They never loved you, so you keep causing pain and suffering but it's not that easy anymore; the guilt starts to resurface, all those bodies keep piling up, but you can't stop because then it would have all been for nothing; so you keep chasing those dreams of grandeur because that's all you have left; the emptiness in your heart can no longer be filled by love, so you try to fill it with something else.

You try to fill it with power. You try to fill it with glory. You try to take everything else for yourself so that you can fill that cup, but it doesn't work, because that cup has no bottom.

And so you're left... with yourself.

And the damage you've done. But now it's different; you've failed. You are left with nothing. Nothing.

And so you outrage, for the last time... And then it all ends. Forever. And you've finally come to accept this, after all....... Who could ever love you?

Number 4: Spamton G Spamton (Deltarune)

You know, in retrospect, it's kind of insane what Toby Fox managed to achieve when creating Spamton.

Not only because Spamton feels like the most insane combination of ideas ever conceived, but also because Toby Fox created such a complex character with such a complicated language and personality and then not only shafted it all aside for the players to go out of their way to interact, but also made all of this in what are officially 2 or 3 cutscenes at most (4 if you consider his shop encounter as one) and only one of them being truly mandatory.

You spend so little time with Spamton, and most of that time is spent fighting him, and yet by the end of it you've become enlightened by the knowledge of him, that after a while... you forget how scary it all was.

All the memes comparing Spamton with Turbo are 100% correct and justified, Spamton truly is Turbo but better; you go through an insane rollercoaster of emotions with this character that you are left absolutely dumbfounded when it all comes to a stop and you go back to play the rest of chapter 2 normally.

His insane mannerisms and mood swings are pretty funny at first, but once you peel back the layers a bit they reveal a pretty realistic and sad portrayal of mental illness, mania and hysteria coupled with an unhealthy amount of social distancing, loneliness, and abandonment issues, that reinforce into your brain the idea of someone lacking proper healthcare and needing to be locked away from society for their (society) own good, simulating the vicious cycle that Spamton lives by: nobody wants to help him but he's still expected to act like a regular individual despite the amount of hardships he's facing and the lack of a support system keeping him from falling back into his bad habits.

I'll admit, I've considered putting Spamton in place of the Number 3 spot on this list; but then I've realised that on an objective level, the next entry totally deserves to be ranked above Spamton; plus, with at least 5 more chapters of Deltarune on our way, whose to say that one of the next gremlins won't be able to dethrone even the number 1 spot?

Drumroll for our top 3:

Nox, the Watchmaker (Wakfu)

There will never be another experience in my life as cathartic as watching the first season of Wakfu for the first time ever again.

On a later rewatch, the initial problems that you've noticed throughout the first half of the season and a little bit in the second half become too apparent to ignore, but the first time everything that goes from the ball tournament to the finale is one of the best paced arcs of television, and everything that happens when the team reaches the Sadida kingdom is just peak Wakfu.

And the king, the culprit, the crown jewel of properly paced stories and arcs is no other than the sad clockwork dilf himself: Noximilliem Coxen the Watchmaker.

Arguably, the greatest sympathetic villain of all time. There has never been another case of a character who has committed such vile, unspeakable crimes, and yet still managed to make me root for them while simultaneously not putting down the heroes.

And let's not be mistaken here, Nox is pretty evil:

Aside from the generic murder, Nox also defiled and stitched together the corpses of multiple victims and turned them into his obedient puppets in order to commit even more murder and genocide in order to achieve his goals.

Also, this is one of the funniest crimes Nox has committed: he abused his dog. It's really not that hilarious nor is it that important in the context of the show, but if you look back at it from an outside perspective then it's really like: Oh yeah. That happened too. Lol.

One of the best parts of his entire arc is his defeat. The "20 minutes" scene deserves a "One Villainous Scene" coverage video to forever immortalise it amongst the greatest. Everything from the music, the subversiveness, the cinematography, the voice acting and just the general art direction of it is worthy of an Eminem award at the Oscars, there's genuinely nothing wrong with this scene, it's truly immaculate.

Words alone cannot do justice to the treacherous, gut wrenching emotional rollercoaster that is experiencing his story for the first time. An hour long video essay would only serve to cover the basics and fundamentals, while for the real deal you need to watch the first season of Wakfu for yourself.

Number 2:

Bradford Buzzard (DuckTales 2017)

And now it's the perfect time to pull out my final wild card, the hole of the sink of my autism, the masterpiece of wasted potential that is Bradford Buzzard from the DuckTales remake of 2017.

When you'll also see the number 2 spot on my villainesses list, you'll come to realise that this spot is more of the "I really wish I could put this at number one but I can't because objectively he doesn't deserve it and the majority of things I love about him in canon were probably an afterthought and in fanon were never plausible to begin with."

And that's how I feel about Bradford Buzzard, an antagonist I spent more time thinking about than probably anybody else on the Earth.

The show runners were so genius for this: we are going to create an original character that will probably struggle to maintain a foot print on the franchise due to the way the Duck verse works, we'll give him an insanely cool backstory and motivation, all coupled with interesting character traits and ideology, we'll make him the ultimate foil to Scrooge McDuck that has been working with him for literal decades, we'll make him the one who has got the closest to isolating Scrooge and destroying his family, and THEN we'll turn him into a generic anime villain that shoots lasers and fumbles his own plan and loses because of insane plot armour and contrivance. Good job writers.

Anyway, I should probably make the case for why this guy ranks so highly in my mind to the point of almost taking the podium for my most liked villain of all time, especially when compared to the stiff competition that we just went through.

Now, part of it is just because this is a personal top 10 and so I can put whoever I want in whatever order I want. But also, with Bradford in particular, there's a personal aspect of relatability, various interests, and passions all coming together to make him stand out in my brain.

The thing is, I've had a pretty strong connection to Disney's Duck's comic books my entire life, even if my love for them came dwindling over time, so when I finally started watching the Reboot and it was amazing, all of that buried passion and love finally re emerged back to the surface, turning me into an annoying super fan. But while season 1 and 2 were great, season 3 actually gave me something to latch on for the rest of time even after the show had ended: the character of Bradford Buzzard.

You see, DuckTales, both in the shows and comics, always had a plethora of villains; from the crazy, megalomaniacal millionaires, to witches, demons, and other mythological creatures, to power hungry aliens, to straight up super-villains. But while all of that is true, there has never been another villain, aside from Magica, Glomgold and Rockerduck at traits, that was built specifically as the anti Scrooge McDuck, and even further, there has never been another antagonist who challenged the very core ideas and concepts of the entire franchise.

Bradford is like the Frank Grimes of DuckTales: just a regular, average, real world guy who's fed up with the nonsensical constant state at which their fictional universe operates and seeks to correct it in the most logical way possible. And while Frank was ultimately a victim of a world in which he couldn't conform, Bradford's outrageous and extreme plans and methods put him on everybody's hit list until he was left all alone, but not before indirectly causing every major disaster throughout the reboot's runtime.

A cold, calculating, machiavellian mastermind whose impact and presence secretly permeates the show, right till the very end.

Shame he wasn't written better.

And now, for the one and only,

Number 1:

Qilby (Wakfu)

Qilby is the biggest example of an anomaly that you could ever observe in a work of fiction. The first time experiencing a story is the most important and impactful moment of that story, as every future rewatch won't be as good as the first. In particular, this is an important aspect of twist villains, as they can only surprise you the first time, since at future rewatches the twist becomes predictable.

Furthermore, if the twist ends up ruining the character that was established up to this point, or it doesn't make any sense, then the story is kind of ruined and it only gets worse on future rewatches, since now you know that everything that you are seeing right now is ultimately worthless and doesn't provide any value.

So why do we love twist villains and keep churning them out? Well, you see, it's a matter of execution. A bad guy introduced in an unconventional manner is much more memorable than one introduced in a straightforward way; the twist can also serve to showcase different aspects of the character before becoming an obvious obstacle, be it quirks, interests, personality in casual settings, or cunning.

Let's not beat around the bush.

If Nox is the single greatest sympathetic villain of all time, then Qilby is by far the greatest twist villain of all time, and the crazy thing is, that he surprises you two times in a row, at first by revealing himself as more evil than you could ever imagine, and then, by outing himself as more complex than you could have ever anticipated.

Let me paint you the picture: you just finished the first season of Wakfu, and you are still pretty fresh of the hype surrounding Nox, so you think to yourself "Oh, now every future antagonist is ruined because nothing could ever top the emotional gut punch that I just went through. Whatever, I'm going to stick around just to see if the story gets worse" and you start the second season.

So far, everything is normal, even better of the first season in terms of engagement value, but you can't help but feel the lack of a Nox like figure inside of the story, but at this point, you just accept it.

Then the final six episodes roll around and OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAS THE WHOLE SHOW JUST GONE INSANE?

Somehow, in some mystical, french, magical way, the season 2 finale is arguably even better than the ending of season 1 despite the fight having less buildup and introducing a lot of brand new characters and an entirely irrelevant faction into his conflict.

The entirety of the scene in Emrumb is some of the best writing I have ever experienced in any work of fiction, and the music accompanying it only accentuates the repressed dopamine being released after various episodes of filler, all of them important for this moment to be as impactful as it is.

Qilby is also just a great, tragic character, that is simultaneously an unforgivable bastard that tried to kill his family and doomed his entire race for a family trip, and a sad, nihilistic man still trying to reconcile his love for his family and his need for knowledge and discovery; his curse never truly allows him to move on or relate to others but his ego and need for his forgetful brothers attention just pushes him even further into resentment, ending up damaging himself and those around him, until he's finally isolated again by the vary people he harmed and showed his love towards.

He's as good as the evil secret sibling trope can get and I never get tired of watching him on screen. His reveal scene to Adamai still gives me the chills to this very day and demonstrated me just how good the surprise villain concept can get when it's executed correctly.

Just an all around great show.

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

i am doubtful that you've found her Compelling enough to really have strong onions about but i'd love to hear your thoughts on Sakura for the ask game anyway!

hiii synnie!!! don't get me wrong here i find sakura incredibly compelling i just also find her incredibly intimidating. i don't really understand her but i do have probably misguided opinions about her!!!!

first impression: mildly indignant on her behalf for all of the atrocities she has to suffer through by nature of being a heroine in naruto

impression now: i love her very badly but i have a hard time wrapping my head around her. she's fascinating on like, so many levels, but the narrative has a very hard time exploring literally anything it brings up about her. it wants her to be normal but she is literally so weird. she should be allowed to kill people. she wants to be self-sufficient but unfortunately that will never happen because the narrative just fucking hates her. so badly. she has a second personality that just gets dropped after the first half of the series. she's just so. there's so much going on there.

favorite thing about that character: i do not actually mind that sakura is a medic. it does fit her. is it annoying in the grand scheme of "all women are medics?" yes. but sakura specifically hitting that balance between violence and healing is very interesting to me.

least favorite thing: the hororrrrs let her out!!!!! every time a "perv on sakura" gag comes up i have to punch a wall it's literally not her fault but good lord!!!! set her free!!!!!!!

favorite line/scene: i really like when she decides to poison everyone and then go kill sasuke on her own it's absolutely deranged behavior. i actually just love everything about that section she's so completely unhinged the entire time and it's like played as romance on her part?? which like yeah i guess. but hear me out that wasn't very normal behavior of her.

favorite interaction that character has with another: i love her dynamic with naruto they bite each other... i like that she's allowed to be feral and kick him around like he is a chew toy. especially when sasuke's gone and the two of them descend into almost perfectly parallel despair alkdsaglfd they're so funny to me... when kakashi like. says his name. and then both of them fall to the ground in tears. that was the good stuff.

character that I wish that character would interact with more: god i WISH sakura/kakashi parallels were like. intentional or elaborated on. they're the people who are left behind. like not only would it be so nice to see sakura get some actual training from that guy i'd also love to see them just INTERACT!!!! least existent inner team seven duo dynamic i would kill to see more canon interactions between them.

character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: kam flower that bloomed nowhere. it's the morals that seem kind of normal until you examine them and realize that they are deranged. and the desperate scramble to be the Normal Sane Girl.

headcanon about that character: her parents die during the orochimaru/suna invasion and she never tells anyone because she just can't find the right way to do it. that'd be awakaaaard plus the rest of them already don't have parents what are they gonna do??? throw her a party?? she also doesn't really see herself as an orphan or believe that she needs sympathy or aid because she's an adult when they die (12. but allowed to kill people!!!)

song that reminds of that character: that's why i gave up on music by yorushika

unpopular opinion about that character: that she's a person?? that she's just a human and not like, evil??? that she's an interesting character underneath the terrible writing? sakura opinions are WILD i went into her tag once and it scarred me for life people will just be saying shit about her... the narrative hates her so so badly for the sin of being a women and she can't even get it to lay off in fanon. tragic. and there's another flavor of depiction that "fixes" her that i ALSO hate because like,,, making her a girlboss/fujoshi/braincell haver is also not great. in terms of hashtag feminism. that is not a interesting character that is a cardboard cut out..... sighs.

favorite image:

really like early sakura she was always making excellent faces and showing her teeth.

[skinnypaleangryperson]

Feeling strange because I'm pretty sure that the next time I sit down to write and work on my stories tomorrow I'm officially going to be done with my 20 million plus or narrative of the BoJack Horseman fanfiction I started writing I think 3 years ago and worked on everyday since, which has been the biggest and most complex spiritual profound in a journey that I think I've ever gone on in my entire life, and I've never discovered so much about myself neither as a creative or as a person until I started writing it after the experience BoJack has a character gave me.

It's strange because an American society if you're just a nobody that's creating things, especially fanfiction, people will either ignore you or insult you, and that goes for literally every platform in existence with no relief from it. I know that the story that I've created will never receive anything but apathy from every person and every community that will ever exist have best, and it deranged morbid insults at worst as has been the case with the entirety of the journey of writing this.

But I'm so happy, and I'm more content and more confident and fulfilled within myself and I've ever been in my entire life, despite the fact that I also feel like I've completely lost my mind from the individuality that I've learned and from the experiences I've had solely from my creativity and the extensions of the worlds I've created.

I know I'm not the only person on here that's creating entire worlds and emotions and feelings only to be completely ignored. It's just the way that things are. I feel like I'm living a completely split identity, one for the people around me (both for real life and online communities), and one for the person that I actually am going the person that I wish that I could be if people cared about it or if people were wired to care about something other than what they've been molded to only care about within the superficiality of the way that people think and are. This goes for both real life and online life, there's no difference, and I'm literally forced to put on a performance between the person that I actually am, a profoundly passionate storyteller, and the person that realizes that those things don't matter to literally anyone on this earth, and having to be able to accept putting on the performance of person people will ever respond to.

It's a profoundly lonely existence, to be a genuine creative person and to write and to create every single day, to have profoundly complex interimagined experiences that cannot be found in officially published consumption. But as lonely and as disorienting as it is I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Not a single thing. Finding my own inner voice as a creative has changed everything about the way that I view the world and how I navigate the day-to-day life of myself and the people around me. The blackest part about it is that I've developed a disdain for 99% of people because I've realized that they were never care about the true genuine imagination in of who I actually am and I will be forced to put on a mask if I ever want a relationship or a sense of community with anyone, and I'm looking at a very dull disorienting performance of an existence to appease my need for human connection even if it's only fake tolerance at best.

But I can't change the way that people think. I certainly can't change the way that the only respond to things that are officially published for them to consume that they are assumed the only things that are worth paying attention to. If my own family cares more about celebrities and TV shows more than they care about their own daughter's projects, of course I can ever expect a partner, friends, or a community to ever care.

I'll always have my muses themselves, and the profound in our life in and of itself of an experienced, and I will continue to live an entire world that is apparently only for me, that will only exist, as the entirety of my existence has really only been experienced by me in all of its resounding complexity, and magic, and experience and will continue to be so. I will continue to see what nobody else sees, and I will continue to have a rich life for it.

Congratulations to Bojack And His Wife being completed, a 20 million word romantic fantasy philosophical narrative.

[wordsandrobots]

OK, my lovely followers have spoken (or pressed the like button, which I am going to assume counts). For Shino/Yamagi day 2025, here is a preview of something that will very much become smut just as soon as I find the right brain key to hit to let me write porn without a long-term end-goal or a toothsome emotional tangle to unpick.

It will be fun. Eventually.

[Disclaimer: this is post-endgame content for Wishing on Space Hardware, a post-canon Iron-Blooded Orphans fanfic that involves me grabbing hold of every single loose thread, making one (1) very important alteration to the events of the series, and then running off towards the horizon, cackling and sprinkling consequences in my path like deranged confetti. It is the single longest story I have ever written, has received such glowing reviews as 'LOOK HERE YOU BASTARD' and 'HOW DARE YOU', and wilfully embraces polyamory as a solution.

What is the problem? Doesn't matter. The answer is polyamory.

Anyway, here's four dumbasses trying to safe-sane-consensual their way out of a wet paper bag.]

“So…” Eugene begins, staring around at a lounge decadent in size and luxurious in furnishings, “are we really doing this? Having an orgy or whatever?”

Yamagi breaks off from inspecting a bedroom that is likewise yet somehow even more so and gives him a look over his shoulder. “You haven't ever actually been to an orgy, have you?”

“Oh, and obviously you have?”

“I got invited to one once. But I ended up wussing out.” He shrugs. “Too many people, not enough time to work out what really turns them on.”

“I know, right?” Sri throws up her hands. “All the casual intimacy of a gang-bang and every other guy's stoned out of his skull anyway, so it's either going to get very boring, or you have to join them and what's the point of an experience you barely remember?”

“…huh.” Yamagi's eyebrow rises for a moment, then he turns back to Eugene. “You need a lot more than four for an orgy.”

The other man pinches the bridge of his nose, tamping down the suspicion his ears have started to go red. “Thank you, Mister Pedantic. What I meant was, are we really going to have a foursome on your wedding night?”

“Eugene.” Shino hurries up, taking hold of his arm with an expression of grave concern. “Buddy. Please tell me you are not trying to talk yourself out of doing this. Kudelia bought us a room here and everything!”

“I'm pretty sure she didn't do that just for – there are three bedrooms!”

“Oh fuck me.” Yamagi slaps his forehead, deciding he's not nearly drunk enough to deal with this. “Somebody stop him, he's trying to be gallant again.”

Shino gently shakes Eugene, an insistent push and pull, equal parts aggravated and kid-tugging-on-a-sleeve-for-sweets. “Yeah, it's my wedding night! Which I wanna spend with my husband, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's girlfriend, because why the hell wouldn't I want to do that?”

“Yeah, but – Yamagi, come on – are you really –?”

“I literally dragged you into the taxi myself. How many times do I have to tell you – me and Shino getting married isn't going to change anything! Stop being such a – a –!”

“I think,” Sri puts in before they can find out exactly what term of abuse this situation warrants, “he's probably a bit worried about me being here. Isn't that right, Big Man?”

That, at last, puts a pause on proceedings. Shino lets go and shuffles his feet. Eugene brushes his jacket straight and pins Yamagi with a look of his own. “You want me. I get that. Shino wants all of us because of course he does. But you're the one who's always calling Sri 'awful'.”

“Well, she keeps calling me 'short-arse'.”

“That's true, I do.”

“Exactly! You two are – are you seriously telling me you'll be OK with –” It is ridiculous, in Eugene's opinion, that the times where he needs to talk seriously about love and sex and so on are when it becomes the hardest to get the words out. “I'm all for fucking until we can't stand up but I don't want it to get fucking awkward in the middle, you know?”

“That's actually a good point,” Shino agrees, scratching his neck and casting a glance at Yamagi, who rolls his eyes over-dramatically but then seems to accept that it is, indeed, a point.

He puts a hand over his heart. “I solemnly swear,” he tells Sri, “not to bring up the fact you nearly got Eugene and Shino killed by an evil robot again until at least tomorrow morning. Even if getting hurt protecting Atra and Akatsuki doesn't actually make up for it.”

She laughs. “In that case, I promise to temporarily ignore the fact you're a smug little jerk who needs to learn to let things go. Although obviously I'd sooner kiss an exhaust pipe.”

“Oh, yes, absolutely, no.”

Eugene groans, knuckling his forehead. “Urgh – that's what I'm talking about!”

“OK, OK, just to be crystal clear.” Jerking her thumb towards Shino, Sri asks Yamagi, “For tonight, you're fine with me and these two getting up to whatever we like where you can see?”

“Why else do you think I wanted you to come along?”

“Ooooh. I get it now. I'm a wedding present for your blushing bride.”

“I mean, I can think of places I'd tie the bow…”

“Hah! Ah, what a shame my kinks don't include being gagged. Worse, I bet yours don't either.”

“Guys…” Shino shakes his head, grinning more than he's genuinely despairing of them. “That's gotta have been the shortest peace treaty ever.”

“Fiiiine.” Yamagi moves across to the table where they put Atra's 'gift bag'. “I'll play nice.”

Sri shrugs. “Apparently, he doesn't actually hate me.”

Making a dubious sound, he picks up the bag, then goes to grab Eugene by the tie. “I'm still going to suck your boyfriend off right in front of you.”

“I mean…” She chucks Shino under the chin, and that grin focuses solely on her for a second, cheerfully lascivious. “Who hasn't?”

...

[gallusrostromegalus]

AEIWAM ask spam 1: you’ve already elaborated on all the weird grudges people have, what about weird friendships?

THANK YOU! I am stupid busy but I am having a ton of fun with the friendships in this fic, so short versions that I can/will elaborate on later:

- Kenpachi and Byakuya: when Kenpachi first arrived in the Seireitei, Byakuya was a recently orphaned teenager and Kenpachi is, as he says "related to his mother" and can't help but take him under his wing a bit. As it stands, Kenpachi is, functionally, Byakuya's step-father.

- Izuru and Komamura: Wabisuke and Tenken were friends first, but it grew from there when Izuru got sent to investigate the curious incident of the dog in the night.

- Hanataro and Akon: The 4th needs more supplies than any other division and the 12th provides them, so the 4th's Toxicologist and Go-Fer gets to see the 12th's shadow captain all the time.

- Ikkaku and Sasakibe: the first lieutenant's meeting Ikkaku was at was ALSO the first lieutenant's meeting after TBTP, when nearly all the lieutenants had been field-promoted or killed, and there was a general bereavement, but when Sasakibe walked in to see what maniac the wildman that took over the 11th appointed for a lieutenant, he instead found Ikkaku doing stage magic tricks to cheer up a distraught Isane and Kaien, and realized this was a kind, if fundamentally ridiculous soul.

- "The Kids": Yachiru, Nel, Toshiro, Weiss, Syoga No Kotowari, and all the other Court Guard Brats tend to travel as a pack, and things can get a bit Lord Of The Flies sometimes.

- not exactly a friendship per se, but The Thirteen Daughters of Aramaki, including Hisana Kuchiki nee Aramaki.

- Soi Fon and Chikane Iba: after TBTP, Soi Fon ended up bonding with her fellow female captain and single mother Chikane Iba. And by "bonding" I mean "basically moved in with". Chikane was deeply relieved to have a regular babysitter and Soi Fon relieved to have another home to go to that doesn't contain her family. Or what's left of it.

- Rangiku and Retsu: Retsu, canonically, runs the Ikebana club, is the Chief Judge at the Seireitei Flower Festival, and keeps an enormous flower garden. Her first introduction to Rangiku is finding the academy student crouched in her foxgloves, and then being subject to a surprise 30minute lecture on the medical and cosmetic applications of digitalis, and realized she had found a kindred soul.

- Nanao and Gin: Nanao was quite possibly Gin's favorite person in the Court Guard, because she was very used to explaining things very slowly and in little steps, and Gin was functionally an escaped sausage roll in an executive position so 76% of the credit for the 3rd division's functionality goes to her. She liked having someone who actually listened to and took her advice and MAN, things got weird after Aizen.

- Uryuu and Yamamoto: Yamamoto doesn't actually hate Quincies- it's really only the "evaporating souls" thing he's got a problem with. Long ago, before the gotei-13, he was even friends with the ancestor of all Quincy, and misses his friend and curses Yhwach for what that monster did to him. Uryuu bears a startling resemblance to his ancestor, and it's nice to have someone to practice his German on again. Uryuu is fucking bewildered, but also severely short on men to look up to in his life and- well. Maybe. Maybe if they are friends, they can finally stop this feud?

- Yumichika and Ukitake: Yumichika was raised by his mother and the rest of the nurses in the first hospital in the Rukongai, and that's where he learned to fight too. It's a huge surprise for Ukitake when Yumichika knows what to do when he starts to have an anaphylactic reaction, but far from an unwelcome one.

- Renji, Iba and The Lads: Graduates of the Zaraki Kenpachi Finishing School for Young Men With Good Knees

- Orihime and Tousen: Hey, remember when we were both kidnapped by a deranged maniac that one time and coped by doing religious math and improvisational surgery about it? Good times!

- Chad and Komamura: "What do you guys even talk about?" "Nothing." "Why the secrecy?" "No Literally. We don't talk, and if we do it's about Nothing."

- Tatsuki and Mashiro: "This is boring, you wanna break chairs over each other's heads?" "Yeah!"

- Momo and Byakuya: The Rice Farm Subsidies Fraud Investigation.

[twoa-plus]

dissecting stanford pines and finding organs that don’t exist but like in a metaphorical way

that’s it that’s the title i’m going with. this is a long one folks o7

most of this isn’t sourced or canon at all it’s just personal interpretation/headcanon/whatever else u wanna call it, but!! since more people are seeing my deranged gravity falls ramblings now i figure i should probably give some perspective as to why i like/defend ford as much as i do

(in my other gf posts i do try to stick to canon to back up whatever point i’m making - this is just about my personal opinion of ford as a character, and should be able to be thrown out in regards to my other posts)

so for some background/setup/whatever (it’s important i promise bear with me), different people have different instinctual responses to anxiety/stress. i come from a family (genetics are fun) where the default response is to start (metaphorically ofc) biting and hissing like a cornered animal. this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any actual hatred or malice or anything towards the people that end up getting scratched - they might just be at the wrong place at the wrong time, they might’ve done something super minor and insignificant that added on to a preexisting pile of stress, etc etc

i cannot stress enough that i am not saying this is ok. you dont need me to tell you that hurting people who don’t deserve it is a bad thing, lol. what i am saying though is that sometimes people can kind of suck for reasons other than just genuinely wanting everyone around them to be miserable

this is the last “background” part i swear BUT another thing thats less genetic and more just me being weird is that i’m the type of person where like. any minor environmental change can really stress me out lol. like even just reorganizing my desk can be pretty emotionally taxing

SO. finally back on topic. stanford pines. i see a lot of the behavior/patterns i just described in him. like i’ve spent my entire life around people like this, and while i understand why a lot of people see him as just some asshole, i can’t help but see him as a guy who’s just kinda going through it lol

just talking about the more recent events as of the series, he’s just spent 30 years god knows where doing and seeing god knows what, he has an abusive ex who wants to murder him and his entire family (plus the whole dimension, really), and in the three decades he’s been gone the entire world - including his own house - has changed and left him behind. add onto that that he went missing in 1982, way before we had all of the emotional/mental health resources we have now, we all saw what the stans’ childhood was like, and that ford is terrible with people - including, imo, himself. if there’s anybody out there who would have Feelings and not understand what they are or where they’re coming from or what to do about them, it’s this guy

this entire setup is the perfect circumstance for fear and anxiety and stress and uncertainty to all get translated into anger. a really big example of this, to me, is how he talks about dipper in journal 3. i’ve talked about this before somewhere so i’ll try to summarize as fast as i can lol

reading his initial entry about dipper would make u think he like. hates this kid lol. but i really don’t think he ever did - he was really excited to meet the kids in the show and already seemed to care about them just by virtue of existing, and his opinion on dipper in journal 3 seems to do a complete 180 pretty quickly which ,,, doesn’t really fit ford as a character. like i love the man but that guy can hold a GRUDGE

here’s how it reads to me:

ford gets back to his home dimension after 30 years and everything is different

he’s subconsciously kind of struggling with the fact that he doesn’t really have a “home” anymore - the sense of familiarity and comfort that would normally come with the word is gone. (i specify that it’s subconscious because, like i said earlier, i do not get the vibe that he’s particularly aware of his own emotions)

he finds out that journal 3 - something he made with his own two hands and considers part of his life’s work - has also changed in the decades he’s been gone. this adds to the feeling of unfamiliarity with the world around him

it’s easier to blame that “final straw” and say that he’s just upset about his work being tampered with rather than address the actual root of the problem, so that’s exactly what he does. this still doesn’t mean that there’s any genuine hatred towards dipper. anger in the moment, yeah, but not hatred

again, this is entirely personal interpretation, and i completely understand if u don’t see it like this!! this is just a pattern of thoughts/behavior that i’m very familiar with, so it’s easy for me to apply it to situations like this even if it’s not really part of the canon

i also think there’s a big problem in this fandom with just ,, not seeing ford as a Person with Emotions? idk how to explain it but it feels like people expect him to always know exactly what to do in every situation just bc he’s old and academically smart. like whenever another character does something objectively bad it’s “well there were extenuating circumstances,” (which is usually true and i agree !!) but ford never really seems to get that treatment. if he does something bad it’s just because he sucks

a big example of this i think is the fight between him and stan (y’know the “you ruined my life”/“you ruined your own life”). you cannot look me dead in the eyes and, in full seriousness, with the context of everything ford was going through with bill at the time, say that he was fully mentally/emotionally stable during that conversation. “oh so you’re blaming stan-“ NO!!! stan was also going through it!!! that’s the entire point - they’re both people with their own lives and emotions and everything else that comes with that, they had very human reactions to their respective situations, and they both ended up hurt!! hopefully i’m explaining this right but i just don’t like it when people pin everything on ford, like there was a lot going on and at the end of the day he’s just a human

wasn’t really sure how to work this in so i’ll just put it here - i don’t think ford ever truly hated stan, either. familial bonds are complicated, and there can be a whole lot of anger towards someone without true hatred being present. i briefly mentioned the stans’ childhood sucking earlier, and i don’t just mean stanley - it’s easier to pinpoint him as a victim of abuse/neglect, but that doesn’t mean ford had it great either. their parents (specifically filbrick, but caryn didn’t exactly do a fantastic job with them either) expected nothing of stan and the world of ford, both of which would weigh heavily on any child. plus, ford being the favorite doesn’t mean all of his emotional needs were met - filbrick seeing him as an opportunity to make money doesn’t mean he was suddenly an emotionally present and caring father towards him. WCT wasn’t just an opportunity for ford to go be a famous scientist or whatever - it was a chance for his father to love him, something both of the stans desperately wanted. (WCT was also on the opposite side of the country from where they lived but i’m sure that’s completely unrelated !!!)

do i think stan deserved anything that happened to him after the science fair incident? no, absolutely not, he was a child. do i think it was right of ford to just stand there as his brother got thrown out? no, absolutely not - but he was a child too. as for them not speaking for a decade after that, like i mentioned earlier ford can hold a grudge like no other. (this doesn’t just apply to stan, either, ford dedicated half of his life to trying to kill his ex lmao.) i think ford’s ability to hold on to anger like that is actually a pretty major part of/flaw in his personality, but again, anger - even the strongest, most long-lived of it - is not synonymous with hatred. stan, who ford has always gone to for help when he truly needed it, it not what ford’s hatred looks like. bill, who ford actively wants to die, is

anyways!! i never know how to close these things lol. ig in summary i just see ford’s behavior (in the show at least) as more of a sign of internal struggle rather than like ,, genuinely hating the people around him and wanting their lives to suck. did/does he have an ego problem? absolutely. is he incapable of love and human connection? no. is he immune to manipulation/abuse/neglect/etc and everything that comes with that? also no

he’s an interdimensional criminal why can’t he go to the theraprism. i think he should

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

@iamthegoddes-blog Hyunjin compatibility

Please note: This is not absolute and I am by no means an expert in this sort of thing. This is also just MY interpretation of astrology.

Feedback not needed but appreciated and questions are always fine by me

Your representative quotes (Made by me just for you):

"4lifers the insane way" "If Gomez and Morticia were toxic and low-key hated each other" "Breaking news: Local couple match each other's freak a little too well" “A love so intense it requires an evacuation plan.” “The kind of relationship where one of you definitely gets a documentary made about you.” “Like two planets caught in each other’s gravity… and on a direct collision course.” “A romance so powerful it could fuel a small dictatorship.” “Somewhere between a soulmate connection and an insurance fraud scheme.”

Compatibility %

Overall: 0.05% Friendship: 6/10 Romatic: 3/10 Intimacy: 9/10 Spiritual: 3/10 Intellectual: 2/10

So, just right off the bat, you're two very different people. But you also both fill each other's ideal partners, not quite to a T, but enough to where the other will think "This is the person i've always wanted".

On your end, this love will definitely feel dream-like. Everything you always wanted, plucked straight out of a fairytale. It feels so, so unreal. But you also become less focused on yourself, and start pouring more and more into him. Non-stop. You lose small bits of yourself, and sacrifice everything for him. You just become very 'selfless' in the face of this love.

You accept everything about him because to you he's perfect. And you steadily grow...Blinded by him. Honestly, probably end up becoming his #1 enabler. Also, i'm getting this relationship would be secret...Which, honestly, checks out. Though I don't know if there'd be much willing major commitments, even if the relationship is hidden. Getting situationship vibes to be honest.

You'll feel addicted to him. I'm getting the two of you may end up trauma bonding to one another, and sharing your deepest, darkest secrets which just makes you feel more and more bonded to one another.

But this is definitely the relationship to where you can never leave and still be cordial after. If you ever break up for whatever reason you'll become full-blown enemies with so much hatred and resentment.

I also think you may both try and...Sabotage each other's lives? For the 'betterment of the relationship'.

Now, on his end, he feels wholly captivated by you. Subjugated, dare I say. I'm going to be so for real, looking at all this I do not think this is one of those relationships anyone will ever be leaving because there's so much...Obsession? Mutually? There's so much INTENSE attraction here. Definitely think you're like...His sexual ideal in a sense.

He's incapable of denying you literally anything and you know it. He'd pluck the sun from the sky if it meant that you'd be happy, even if the entire universe literally died because of it. He doesn't care who it's to the detriment to, including himself, as long as you'll be pleased by it.

Trying so hard to keep this reading PG but this is like...A very very sexual obsession. Deranged sexual obsession.

This is making me think of that Odetari song that's like "not in love baby it's just lust" i'm going to be so very honest, that's what this is giving.

You can make him do things he'd otherwise never do no matter how deranged just by asking.

I'm getting a lot of soul bond indication.

You compliment each other by having certain things the other lacks. Almost giving a sense of completion.

There may be a lot of resentment here though. You're both constantly trying to please one another, and as such not putting enough into yourself, and may end up feeling unappreciated. You both feel used even though the other never asked you to do all those things for them.

You both express yourself very differently, but you're also very responsive to the other's expression. You'll find it's almost like what you've been craving all along.

In general, this relationship is very passionate and all-consuming.

Now, onto the relationship itself.

This relationship happened very naturally. You were both drawn to one another immediately, and it grew from there. A lot of mutual attraction here. There's a lot of compliments, clinginess, posting cute photos and walks on the pier here.

It doesn't take much to keep the relationship going, and even if you break up and lose contact the attraction won't ever really fade between you two.

You two will want to be together all the time. I'm talking you'd crawl into each other's skin if you could. You both definitely feel like this relationship is a part of you, and it ends up becoming a key part of both of your identities for better or worse.

People will talk a lot about your relationship. On the outside, it seems like the kind of relationship everyone wants to have and will strive for, just based on how it appears from the outside looking in.

You'll want each other to feel supported always, and will definitely be one another's biggest fan/hype person. Definitely give power couple vibes.

You'll feel very comfortable and familiar with one another, like you knew each other all your lives. You'll definitely help heal each other's inner child, at least emotionally, and you'll feel a sense of warmth and comfort around one another throughout your relationship or even before.

You both try and hide the intensity of your feelings from one another, though. Like you're scared of running each other off by them. You're both probably very deeply insecure which also leaks into your relationship/dynamic.

This relationship thrives off lust, and can be prone to being unstable or demanding. Definitely mutual mind fuckery going on here, and your relationship is so confusing to outsiders. Everyone perceives it wildly differently and no one really knows what the hell is going on.

There's just so much confusion all around. Even IM confused.

You truly have a massive effect on one another. I also think your conversations can go into very strange or abstract topics very easily.

You two don't communicate your issues with one another. Which isn't a good thing, mind you. You bottle things up a lot which breeds resentment.

There's definitely a lot of attachment issues here.

Now...

The likelihood of this relationship working out? Depends on your definition of working out.

The two of you ending up together for a while? High. Mostly because I don't think either of you are ever going to be able to leave whether you want to or not.

The likelihood of it being a good and healthy relationship? Low. Very very low.

But you know what? There's worse things that could happen.

It's kind of like...Bobby and Whitney. I was gonna say Ike and Tina but not them I got my names mixed up.

Relationship moodboard

Relationship playlist:

WET DREAMS by Odetari Bad4U by H33ra Heart of Glass Miley Cryus ver. Because i can't remember the original if there is one A little bit harder now by She Wants Revenge Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys Stop the World I Wanna Get off With You by Arctic Monkeys The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift