#I need to be healed after S3

[whirlingstarz]

Man I now love hurt/comfort Stobotnik but with Stone being hurt, idk I love the idea of Robotnik having to care for Stone for a change

[5hrignold]

they for real just had wander call himself worthless with no objection or indication that he’s wrong and it never got brought up again and that’s just how he sees himself apparently probably likely not

[lenievi]

this is still so sweet

[gojoest]

AIIII JSKSKAK HIII I MISSED UUUUUU 5 DAYS FLET LIKE 5 YEARS HOW ARE U MY DAYS WERE TERRIBLE WITHOUT YOU BTW🙊

LOVE OF MY LIFE EACH DAY FELT LIKE A DECADE WITHOUT YOU IT WAS A LONG AND EXHAUSTING JOURNEY BUT HERE I AM AT LAST (kind of 🤧)

[mosovi-vian]

And I will stay alive for my future self, so they can one day learn to be kind to who I was as a child. And I will teach them to honor who we used to be, so they can remember the comfort of what once was our untempered flesh and gentle soul. Me and myself are each a fresh wound and a rough scab, bearing respectively the gift of green faith and honed will.

This has been in my draft for a while because I was determined to post this only after I knew what I should write underneath it. I’ve read a lot on the concept of healing the wounded inner child since even before my c-ptsd diagnosis. However, I’ve sought as much comfort in my little self as they had in me. Looking back, I was an impressively emotionally-intuitive kid. I remember well how I used to think, the things I would write to my future self; they were wiser and gentler than I could ever hope to be as an adult. Needless to say, the little poem above is inspired by the aforementioned experience. Sure, big me is armed with a more developed pre-frontal cortex and access to invaluable resources (coping mechanisms, therapy, on and offline communities) , but I struggle to rediscover/reinvent my identity. Little me was the biggest vestige of my lost personhood. So yeah, this might be just a huge self-indulgent projection with my favorite character, but thinking that post-S3 Hunter would also be in my shoes is not completely baseless. 16yrs old Hunter is the fresh wound (a lot of things happened before his teen years, but I’m going to interpret the events of Hollow Mind - which happened when Hunter was 16 - as the ultimate boiling point in his trauma timeline, hence the ‘fresh wound') and 20yrs old Hunter is the rough scab. Each version of Hunter could be dealing with a different set of trauma-induced symptoms. I think his loyalty to Belos kept him going as a child. Being doubtless was important to Hunter back then; it held his sense of self together. And maybe when he survived and was rewarded the time and space to grow into his own person and live for himself, there was this lasting emptiness. I feel this sort of emptiness even today. My only reference of what ‘wholeness’ felt like was when I was obedient to my family. I equated self-abandonment as the righteous norm. The symptoms I deal with today are definitely different from when I was Hunter’s age pre-time-skip. Now that Hunter is in a safe space and an adult post-time skip, he might also need to seek that strength from his younger self. Reminding himself of how far he’s come and the parts of him that he'd like to keep from his past. The parts that he knows in his bones are purely his - not instilled by Belos, not inherited from Caleb.

[heradion]

Empathy- (A Sterek s3 off-screen moment ficlet)

Set after this scene where Scott and Derek help them out.

"Come on, let's get you guys out of here" Scott said helping their parents out of the makeshift hiding spot where Jennifer had held them.

Stiles urged everyone to get out first and helped Allison out when a hand reached out in front of him.

He looked up to find Derek standing there offering a helping hand to get him out. He took it as he was helped out of the pit.

"Thanks" Stiles said as Derek let go while Stiles patted the dust off of him

His dad and Scott had walked ahead checking on Melissa while Chris stayed by Allison's side.

"What happened to your head?" Derek asked looking at him as they followed the others out of the woods

"I got into a minor accident" Stiles replied shrugging

"It's nothing serious" He reassured

"You're bleeding" Derek stated

"I was, not anymore" Stiles replied

"You should get that checked" Derek replied "Could be a concussion"

"I feel absolutely fine" Stiles replied before nearly tripping over a rock when Derek grabbed his arm steadying him

"Yes I can see" Derek quipped raising his eyebrows as he let go of Stiles once he was steady

"Alright fine, I will" Stiles stated as they reached the end of the clearing where Chris and Derek's car were pulled over by the side of Scott's bike.

"I can drop you home" Christ stated looking between Melissa and Noah.

"I can take Allison on my bike" Scott stated earning a reluctant nod from Chris

"I'll drop Stiles home" Derek interjected just as Noah was about to ask regarding his son earning a surprised look from Stiles

"Are you sure?" Noah asked looking at Stiles

"I'll be fine dad, He's no longer a criminal" Stiles joked earning a glare from Derek

"Alright, I just have to drop by the station, I'll see you home in an hour" Noah said patting his son's shoulder before leaving with Chris who was shortly followed by Scott and Allison.

Stiles turned to find Derek opening the trunk of his car and getting out a box and walking up to the passenger side opening the door.

"Sit." Derek gestured to the passenger side seat holding the door open

Stiles furrowed his eyebrows looking confused before obliging. He sat in the passenger seat facing the door as Derek opened the box and took out some cotton cleaning pads along with an antiseptic before shutting it and handing it to Stiles.

"Since when did you have a medical kit in your car?" Stiles asked looking curiously at the box

"Every car comes with a medical toolbox" Derek stated putting some of the antiseptic onto the cotton

"Yeah but isn't your car a 100 years old? It's probably expired" Stiles said looking at him curiously

"I bought new ones, medicines just in case" Derek said "Now sit still this is going to sting"

Derek leaned over titling Stiles head up with his fingers under his chin earning a surprised look from Stiles. Derek moved Stiles's hair out of his forehead where he had injured himself holding it up with one hand before slowly cleaning the wound as Stiles flinched closing his eyes in response.

"Why would you need medicines? You heal" Stiles stated opening his eyes and looking at Derek who was focused on cleaning up the dried blood .

"In case someone in the pack gets hurt" Derek replied moving his free hand under Stiles's chin to turn his head gently.

"Nearly everyone in the pack can heal themselves" Stiles said confused as Derek remained silent for a while

"Not you" Derek stated cleaning the blood that had dried along the side of his face.

"Oh" Stiles said looking away taken aback "That's.. surprising"

"Why?" Derek asked

"I didn't know you thought about stuff like that." Stiles said looking at Derek who turned to meet his eyes

"I do." Derek replied cleaning up the blood near his neck " You have your strengths but your ability to protect yourself isn't one of them"

Stiles narrowed his eyes looking at Derek " So you're indirectly calling me weak."

"I didn't say that" Derek said grabbing another piece of cotton and putting some antiseptic on it before cleaning up some remnants of blood from Stiles's face

"But you really need to learn self defense." Derek replied "Your bat isn't going to help you everywhere."

"Well I tried watching youtube videos but they were of no help" Stiles shrugged watching as a car passed by.

Derek grabbed a piece of gauze to patch up the wound shutting the medical box.

"Stay still" Derek said leaning forward and turning his head to face him as Stiles looked into Derek's eyes which were focused on patching up his wound.

Derek finished patching up the wound and looked back at Stiles who was still staring at Derek's eyes curiously.

"Stiles?" Derek called out looking between his eyes and down to his lips

Stiles swallowed hard touching the now patched up wound "Thank you Derek."

Derek nodded in response before standing up straight and taking the box from him and shutting the passenger side door

Stiles looked at himself in the mirror noticing that Derek had done a pretty good job at cleaning it up.

Derek opened the drivers side door and sat down starting the engine.

"I could teach you" Derek stated as they drove towards Stiles's house

"Huh?" Stiles asked confused

"Self defense" Derek said

"Oh" Stiles said turning to face him " Wait, Really?"

"Yes" Derek replied looking at the road ahead

"When is it ideal for you?" Stiles asked

"Meet me after school ends or during your summer break" Derek said as Stiles nodded

"Thank you Derek" Stiles said as they drove in silence, Stiles turned to gaze out the window, a sense of understanding lingering between them, unspoken yet palpable.

[pyrodolls]

Hello!!!

Please can I request headcanons on how twdg men would react to an injured Reader 👉👈

VARIOUS TWDG MEN X INJURED! READER HCS PT. 1

WARNINGS: spoiler free, gender neutral reader, could be read as either romantic or platonic hcs, angst to comfort i guess ?

A/N: woah hey guys... it's been a week.. oops. but hey i'm posting the requests... slowly... but it's only slow bc i'm constantly going back and changing things so i'm never really satisfied with my work smh. also if this does well i'll do the s3 and s4 men. btw i'm so sorry lee's was short idk what else to write for him.

let's say you went on a run for supplies, but it went wrong. you were attacked by walkers, and you just barely survived without getting bit.

LEE would stay calm. or at least, he'd appear calm. it was mostly for your sake, because he didn’t want you to panic. he'd seen plenty of injuries at that point, so he was quite desensitized to blood and all kinds of wounds. he was still worried about you, but he was just relieved that you were alive. after the incident, he allows you to continue going on runs and doesn’t fuss over you. he believes that you're strong enough to handle yourself. he isn't going to baby you after one little incident, but he's definitely going to start asking you if you need his help. if you say no, he'd respect that.

KENNY on the other hand, was panicked. he saw you unconscious with blood everywhere. he was the first one running over to you to find out what happened. he immediately checked for a bite, even after you reassured him that you didn’t have one. once he saw that you weren’t bitten, he was still panicked anyway. he was angry. he was desperate to find someone to blame rather than admit how terrified he was to lose you. you could've died out there. you should've been more careful. he should've been there. why wasn't he there? he should've protected you. the person with you should've prevented this. the person with you should've helped you. his anger wasn’t diminished until he saw you healed and walking around again. he masks his sadness with anger and often doesn't know how to control his emotions, but at the end of the day, he always remembers that the important thing is that you are safe. and you were never allowed to go on a run without him again.

BEN had no clue what to do. he was convinced that you were going to die. usually, he'd think a little more rationally when someone in the group is injured. he may be young, but over the course of the apocalypse, he's garnered a small bit of medical knowledge. he's aware that a simple accident isn't enough to kill someone. but when it comes to you, all logic is thrown out the window due to how much he cares about you. when he saw you bloody and weakened, he was terrified. he begged whoever was taking care of you to do their best. he stayed by your side as much as he could. he barely ate or slept until you were healed. once you were finally healed, he swore to make sure you never left his sight again. he's aware that you're stronger than him and you're capable of taking care of yourself, but he'd be damned if he lets you get injured again. he knows he isn't the strongest guy around, so there's not much he can do anyway, but after your accident, he started to get paranoid when he didn’t see or hear you after a short amount of time.

LUKE was incredibly worried when he found out you were hurt, and he rushed to carlos to make sure you were okay. he trusts carlos and he knew that you were in good hands, but he still needed to see you in order to know you were okay. once he saw that you were alive and not bitten, his worries quickly washed away. he confident that you can handle yourself, so it was just a little accident. but to be sure, he stayed by your side to tend to all of your needs and acted as your personal butler as you were healing. but there was still that nasty thought that crept into the back of his mind: the thought that you could've died. but he shook it off, not wanting to think about it. as long as you aren't alone on your runs, he isn't worried at all. he knows you can handle yourself. but if you can't, he would gladly be your knight in shining armor and take care of you.

NICK immediately spiraled when he saw you bloody and unconscious. he's lost enough of his loved ones; he can't lose you too. he paced outside the door where carlos was taking care of you, fiddling with his thumbs and being uncharacteristically quiet. the minute that carlos opened the door, nick rushed over to you and kneeled by your bed. he stared at you in silence, contemplating what he would do if you died. the others had to pull him away from you to let you rest. he was quiet for days after that. he let you rest, but he didn't leave the house at all just to make sure he was there to take care of you. he's convinced from then on that you need someone with you on runs. it's not that he thinks you're weak and you need to be protected, he just doesn't want to go through that period of depression and worry ever again. he was shattered at the thought of losing you. he's already damaged by plenty of his loved ones being killed, but your death would've been his breaking point.

[virginiaisforvampires]

Initial thoughts for 2x08 (Episode 15) — SPOILERS INCLUDED!

FINALLY! I can talk freely! 🤣😭🙌🏽 Do y’all know how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut over the fact it was LESTAT who saved Louis while Armand directed the play?! But I’m coming to all that. I’m glad I knew about all this beforehand, because there were a lot of things left up in the air and many loose ends. That is the twist to which I think Sam was referring. No concrete answers to certain things other than the main points. So here we go.

The rocks healing inside Louis’ ankles. Are you joking? The way this made me physically hurt and cringe and feel so bad for Louis. His feet have to be in pain to this day, yet he’s punishing himself by not removing them. I’m going to need a scene of Lestat finding this out and those rocks finally being removed by Lestat. A true symbol of the healing and forgiveness that Louis is desperately trying to extend to himself.

Louis saying no matter what would’ve changed in his life, Lestat was always his destiny. 😭

How long did Armand let him starve? Louis’ wails and moans were ripping my heart out. Let him go!

Louis’ rage. It’s a thing of beauty. Possibly one of my favorite sequences across the entirety of both seasons. Torch those assholes! 🔥

Also? Louis has power! When he used the mind gift to hone in on Estelle and Celeste, I got chills. It reminds me of Sam and Jacob saying that Louis should, by the later lore, have those powers too, because Lestat made him, and Lestat is powerful from both Magnus and Akasha.

Louis vs. Santiago. I cheered. It’s been building, and Ben Daniels created a Santiago that was actually worth the time Louis took to kill him. Do not underestimate Louis. 🥰

Lestat just hanging out in Magnus’ tower? Repeating the words that Magnus spoke to him? Mmhmm. Oh I’m sure. Y’all see now why I said it had Armand’s handiwork written all over it? Louis choosing Armand over Lestat in the most melodramatic, telenovela way? I’m betting a million dollars that scene did not happen like that, and I’m also betting Lestat wasn’t the arrogant, apathetic fiend like we see in that moment either.

I do, however, believe Louis went with Armand to spite Lestat. It goes right along with the intentions of the OG interview in 1973 and all the petty insults in an effort to get Lestat’s attention, which pokes another hole in the Magnus tower scene. Louis seemingly blames Lestat for Claudia’s death in the tower, yet that’s not really the tune he’s singing in 1973. Again, like I’ve mentioned several times, why has the story changed in Dubai? *ahem*

Daniel. My man. The MVP. “Where does the bullshit start, Armand? Amadeo? Arun?”

Sam was the Talamasca operative all along. Very very interesting.

“I could not prevent it.” Mmhmm. Not only could Armand have prevented it, but he directed the entire trial and made several important notes in the script wrt the Loustat relationship and how Lestat was supposed to behave and even directing it to have Lestat not look at Louis until the key moment, because Armand knew what would happen the second Lestat looked at Louis.

Lestat rehearsing. Oh yes, he’s sooooooo invested in the play to the point he’s resistant to their directions, screams that they know nothing of Claudia’s strength, and literally throws the script back in Armand’s face.

We still don’t know how/why Lestat got to Paris and exactly what all went down with him before, during, and after the trial. THANK GOODNESS WE HAVE S3 CONFIRMED! 🙌🏽

Lestat saved Louis. It took all his strength to do it. That’s why he couldn’t save Claudia too. Daniel bringing up the soldiers from 1x03 was meant to highlight this. Remember how weak and pallid Lestat looked afterward? How he collapsed with his ears bleeding?

He looked the same at the trial, and his ears were bleeding.

We also have the glimpse of Lestat completely zonked in the aftermath and swaying on his feet before Claudia dies.

All of this from Lestat’s POV in S3 will be devastating.

The Loumand breakup. I was very interested to see the reactions to Louis throwing Armand into the wall and telling him to get out.

Louis and Daniel. 🥺

“Not my Lestat!” from 1x05 🤝 “Not my Armand!” from 2x15.

In all seriousness though, I don’t think Armand was really going to let Louis die. I think there was more to it and perhaps he’d worked something out with Santiago. I don’t know, but it is a rather cold turn for Armand, even though I think the show has honed in on the fact the trial was always (even in the book) about Lestat and about Armand’s desire for revenge against him for what Lestat had done to his coven and for rejecting him. It’s always always been about Lestat — for both Louis and Armand.

Sebastian Melmoth. I smiled. Little Tale Of The Body Thief easter egg. One of Lestat’s favorite aliases.

LOUSTAT REUNION! 😭♥️🙌🏽 Our babies came home to us! We’ve been living off Louis’ side of the hug for months, but now we have Lestat’s side. It was worth the wait.

Look at his face. Look at his hand trembling. Look at the way he closes his eyes in profound relief. The overwhelming love and relief that Louis, his beautiful Louis, is alive and safe. He’s not dead like Nicki and Claudia, which is a direct aspect from The Vampire Lestat.

Lestat saying he left Louis with Armand and asking if that was saving Louis….I told y’all the parallels with Nicki were smacking us in the face.

“Did you hurt yourself?” I talked about this moment already here, but I won’t ever get over this. He loves Louis. Like, OMG. He LOVES Louis. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Louis apologizing to Lestat. Louis explaining that he was wrong and wanted to be awful to Lestat due to his own suffering. Lestat’s soft little “I see” in response. The way you can already see his self-loathing and the way he believes he failed at making Louis happy. Louis finally acknowledging vampirism as the gift that it is. Louis thanking Lestat. Lestat’s shock that Louis isn’t there to berate him or reject him, and that’s when Lestat’s walls crumble, and the first true words to Louis are asking about the suicide attempt. I can’t, y’all. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!

Lestat punishing himself by living in squalor. However, I don’t think we’ve heard the full truth of everything that he’s endured since Paris. He sounded so weak and ill in 1973 and in 2022, he’s still seemingly in a mental fog. He’s not well, and there’s no way Louis would’ve left him in that condition.

Louis softly kissing Lestat’s face. The way it looks like he kisses the mouth scar. No words. Just….no words. A small glimpse into their future. The way the embrace starts to loosen, but then Louis clutches him back into his arms, and Lestat easily goes while he continues to sob.

At the end of the day, this was two parents grieving the loss of their daughter. She will continue to haunt them for the rest of their existence. No one can know this pain except them. They were the happy family. She was their baby, their child. They both failed her even though they both loved her.

Having said that, y’all remember the flack I got for saying Lestat loved Claudia? 🖕🏽😊

This is what I meant when I said Loustat is left ambiguous. We don’t know how they leave things or if they did leave things. We don’t know where Lestat is during the final scene in Dubai, which brings me to a theory that must be considered.

What if this meeting is the contested NOLA meeting? What if Louis didn’t find Lestat in NOLA, because Lestat went underground when he got the call in 1973? What if Louis included this meeting in the book as a call to Lestat to draw him out? Just something that needs to be considered, but I like to believe it really happened and Lestat was sleeping in the bedroom in Dubai, even if they’re not yet “together” again.

The symbolism of Loustat clinging to each other as the hurricane rages around them. The world could be crumbling around them. As long as they have each other….it’s always only them. Fatally. They are it for each other.

The color coming back into Louis’ life after reconnecting with Lestat? My heart. 🥺

Ah yes. The final scene with The Vampire Louis. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. “I own the night.” YES, LOUIS! YES! 🙌🏽👏🏽

Do y’all see how this perfectly sets up The Vampire Lestat? Louis is now in danger. Lestat, wherever he is, won’t stand for that. 🥰

Lastly, The Vampire Daniel. Y’all! I was screaming over this! So so happy! 😭 So yeah, idk how anyone could say Devil’s Minion wasn’t a thing after this. For one, I don’t believe Daniel was made out of spite. Nope. For another, I think parts of Devil’s Minion already happened, and this perfectly sets up their journey together, because Daniel is Armand’s only fledgling.

Again, thank the lord we have a S3 confirmation! 🙏🏽 So many things were left open and so many threads/arcs being established. The pacing was an issue. Too many things extended in the earlier episodes that could’ve been condensed, because 2x07 and 2x08 needed the time to breathe, and I feel like everything was simply packed into the last two episodes, because time was wasted at the theater.

Overall, did S2 exceed S1? No, but this part of the book was never my favorite, and I’m just glad to be moving on from this dark arc, and finally knowing we’re gonna get to see Louis and Lestat moving forward together and getting the development that only existed between the lines in the books. Onward and upward! 🥂🍾♥️✨🙌🏽

[sabine-smitten-obviously]

And now i don´t need S3 anymore ...

and you need to read this wonderful fanfic:

A lighthouse burning by @books-and-omens

What it is about:

In good weather, one can see the lighthouse at the Rock from the shore: a dot on the horizon, a distant star flashing red and white and red again. It’s been dark for a fortnight, of course—ever since the incident that every newspaper had breathlessly written about, that the paper-boys on the corners had shouted themselves hoarse over. This is where Aziraphale is headed: it is his duty, after all, to find out what happened, to make sure that the beacon can be safely lit once again. He does not expect Crowley to follow him to the windswept isle, to the lonely lighthouse at what could just as well be the edge of the world. Crowley follows him anyway.

What i like about it:

👻It´s a ghost story, it´s spooky and it´s a mystery. It´s the 19th century and dark. And it is set at a lighthouse. All my favorite boxes - check!

🩷The plot - incredibly clever written and it took me quite long to at least have a guess what is really going on. It doesn´t say in the tags so i won´t say any more about it, because it probably would kill the mystery.

🩷The angst - it is layered and comes on 2 different levels, at least for me. Will they make it? (Yes, it is a safe read for all our broken hearts.)

🩷It is rated mature and has some very tender moments.

Most beloved quote ❤️

You remember them, he thought. You remember them, just as I do, and you care. You´ve kept your own watch for six thousand years.

What i really took away from this one:

Crowley remembers so many places, where he met Aziraphale throughout the centuries, its a treasure to read it.

And i realised - no matter how many episodes S3 would have, we would never be able to catch up with 6000 years. It doesn´t matter if we see 90 minutes or 360. It will never be enough.

It will always be up to our minds to imagine what they have seen. The places they have visited. The events they have observed?

That was a very healing thought for me and i can gladly take at least the big finale now being a movie (better than nothing, ey?).

Reading is not an option, its a must.

[hugmekenobi]

Heal

A Bad Batch Post S3 Oneshot

Gif by @barissoffee

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Shaking the effects of Tantiss is easier said than done

Warnings: Literally one use of (Y/N), swearing, hints of Tech/Phee, references to past pain and torture, angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares and trouble sleeping, descriptions of illness (headaches), reader is hard on herself, suggestive dialogue, light PDA (kissing, teasing touches), mentions of food, me making up what everyone is up to on Pabu, fluff and happy ending

Masterlist for S1, S2 and S3

Word Count: 7.2K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Okay, not gonna lie, I struggled with this one. It was a last minute idea as I was rewatching and writing the final few episodes of season 3 but it worked and felt a lot better in my head and when it came to writing, my brain was not my friend lol. I hope it's still enjoyable! The next oneshot is the story I've had planned for months so that should be a smoother process haha

It had been a few weeks since you’d all taken up official residence in Pabu.

Shep’s offer of setting up homes for you all stayed true.

You and Hunter had been put in a hut perfectly designed for the two of you that was a short walk away from the water and there was even a spare room for Omega who alternated between sleeping in your home and the home Tech, Crosshair and Wrecker all shared.

The three other clones may have been grouped together but there was plenty of room, and not a lot of time was spent indoors anyway.

Wrecker had taken to fishing like, well, like a fish to water.

Crosshair did a bit of everything, helping out with tasks of whoever needed assistance but he mainly he kept up with practicing shooting with his left hand. He wanted the practice, and he genuinely enjoyed it. He didn’t miss being a soldier anymore but that didn’t mean he had to renege on his skills.

Tech spent much of his time with Phee or assisting Shep in rebuilding parts of Pabu that still needed it and upgrading equipment.  

Omega often kept close company with Lyana and the other young reg clones or she went off with Tech to plan out a potential search for lost or salvageable pieces of the Marauder- the two of them had dreams of rebuilding new a ship with as many pieces of their old home as possible. It was yet to be undertaken but the vision was there.

The task of reuniting the children from Tantiss with their families had been successful but with that final mission complete, you and Hunter were also in the same boat as Crosshair and still yet to find your official niche on island. For now, you both were just relishing in the peace and each other’s company.

One thing you had managed to achieve was finding a way to finally get in touch with Lyra again, who- despite being filled in on everything that had happened since you parted ways on Christophsis- still managed to scold you for the lack of communication. But after hearing you all were alive and settled, she’d sent you all packages of more suitable island clothes with promises to visit soon.

Everything was coming together and so you were feeling one with the island life.

However, life here was not without its challenges.

The impact and aftermath of Tantiss remained a constant shadow that would still find ways to rear its ugly head. Something you and Hunter in particular found yourselves dealing with.

--

“I figured we could have the party in the next couple of weeks right here in the colonnade and, I don’t know, you could slip away or…” Shep trailed off as he saw the way Hunter’s brow furrowed in pain.

“Uh huh.” Hunter agreed distantly. He didn’t want to ignore Shep, especially when he was doing him the favour, but fuck had the sun always been this bright? The blinding pain behind his eyes and throbbing in his skull was getting harder to dismiss.  

You were a casual observer and listener to the conversation between the young reg clones and the adult clones that had remained on the island- Deke, Stak and Mox had no shortage of questions for them. But you sensed a rising discomfort and then you caught the way Hunter kept pinching the bridge of his nose and squinting to get away from the glare of the warm sun. “Excuse me.” You politely removed yourself from the conversation and hurriedly walked over to where Shep and Hunter were conversing. “Shep, I’m sorry to interrupt but do you mind if I steal him away for a moment?”

“Not at all.” Shep bid the two of you farewell with a smile.

You lightly rested a hand on his upper arm. “Hunter? Another flare up?” You figured, keeping your worried voice quiet.

Hunter just about managed a nod and said through gritted teeth, “But I can wait it out. Shep-”

He would attempt to come up with an excuse every time and every time you wouldn’t even entertain it. “Come on.” You carefully wrapped an arm around him and guided him back home.

--

You opened the door and carried on through to the bedroom. You gently prompted him to sit on the bed as you knelt down and took his shoes off before you shut the bedroom window to cancel out the noise outside and closed the blinds to keep the sunlight out. You kept your voice low and monotone as you instructed him, “Lie down.”

Hunter did as you said and rested on his back.

The routine was second nature to you. He hadn’t had headaches like this for a while but since Tantiss and because of what he’d suffered there, they’d become more frequent. His senses hadn’t quite readjusted back to what they used to be.

You moved silently throughout the house as you went to the freezer and came back with the cold compress you stored specifically for these moments and placed it over his eyes. “I’ll just be in the living room if you need anything. Try to sleep.” You whispered caringly before you lightly squeezed his hand and made to leave. However, you had barely stepped away from the bed when Hunter’s hand caught your wrist.

“Stay.” He requested through a wince.

“I don’t want to overwhelm you.” You cautioned quietly. You had remained a couple times before, but it had never been a certainty that he wanted you to stay when he was going through this. You always waited for him to give the okay.

“You can’t.” He murmured. He needed you here to ground him in a way the usual methods could never do.

You removed your own shoes and supported his back as you sat him up and slotted yourself behind him.

Hunter rested his head against your chest.

You readjusted the compress slightly once you were both in a comfortable position. “This okay?” You asked as you softly massaged each of his temples.

Hunter let out a tranquil sigh and he could already feel the discomfort receding. You always knew just what it was he needed from you in these moments. “Perfect.”

--

Hunter wasn’t the only one still feeling the lingering toil of Tantiss. Your screams of terror and the way you thrashed next to him woke him up. He called your name and shook your arm to wake you up. “Hey, hey. Easy, easy. It’s alright.” He assured you as he saw your eyes widen in fear.

You shot awake and hastily sat up, your breathing hard and uneven.

“You’re okay. I’m here.” Hunter whispered soothingly as he sat up alongside you.

You closed your eyes and let his voice be the only thing you focused on.

“You’re alright. It was a bad dream.”

Right yes, a bad dream.

“Hold on.” Hunter pressed his lips to your clothed shoulder before he got out of bed and ran a cloth under some cold water.

You worked on getting your breathing back under control. You ran a hand over your face and felt the beads of sweat dripping down your temples and down your neck and back. Your sleep top was sticking to you uncomfortably. But you forced yourself to concentrate on anything that didn’t remind you of the nightmare you’d just escaped. You took in your secure and familiar surroundings of your bedroom to calm yourself down. You weren’t back there. You were on Pabu with Hunter. You were safe here.  

Hunter slid back in bed beside you. “Arms up.” He prompted delicately. When you did that, he carefully removed your sweat soaked top and tossed it to the side of the bed– he’d deal with it in the morning- and placed the cool cloth to the back of your neck and spine before he tenderly dabbed at your temples. He then put a replacement top back over your head and continued to press the flannel around your forehead and neck.

“I’m sorry.” You rasped as you hid your face in your palms in embarrassment. You hated this. He would already have tough days and you couldn’t even offer him any relief in the evenings. The two of you had gotten into a rather unfortunate ritual where you would comfort him during the day and then the roles would switch as soon as night fell.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.” Hunter reassured you lovingly. He placed the cloth on the bedside table and rubbed his hand up and down your back to ease away the lingering tension and to help settle you back down. “Same one?” He guessed.

You nodded but kept your face hidden from him. “I’m just standing there. I’m watching him hurt you over and over again and I’m not doing anything to stop it.” You said, your voice cracking with each word. “Then he goes to the rest of you- to Omega. I’m completely frozen and all I can do is watch you all writhe in pain. I keep fighting to move but nothing happens. I’m just so useless and I stand by and let it happen. You’re crying out for help, and I just stand there.” You whispered with plenty of self-loathing behind your words.

Hunter shushed you consolingly. “But that’s not what happened. It’s just the nightmare talking.”

“Is it? Because it feels an awful lot like that’s what I did.” You said with self-directed disgust.

““You didn’t do nothing. You didn’t give up. You did what you thought you needed to do to get us out of there alive.” Hunter reminded you.

“Imprisoned.” You corrected.

“Alive.” Hunter countered.

You knew there was no sense in arguing with him over it. “I should be over this by now. I coped after Christophsis. I don’t know why this is sticking with me so much.” You said critically instead.

Hunter was all too familiar with this line of argument. As soon as you admitted to the nightmare and the fear it brought, you started looking for ways to berate yourself for feeling the way you were. “You couldn’t process Christophsis on your own time. You were in a position where you were forced to carry on. And I don’t think going through and being impacted by torture has a time requirement.”

You finally half-turned to face him. “Do you really believe that?”

The doubt in your voice made his throat constrict and chest tighten. “I know it.”

“But dealing with this is annoying.” You mumbled self-consciously and you averted your gaze once more.

“Do you get annoyed when you’ve needed to help me?”

You lifted your eyes back to him. “No, of course not.”

“Exactly. You help me through those episodes. Why do you think I’d treat you any differently?” He rubbed his thumb along your cheekbone. “You still need to give yourself the same treatment you give other people.” He said caringly.

You leaned your head against Hunter’s shoulder and just gave a series of reluctant but agreeable noises to signal your acceptance of his statement.

“You’re talking to me though. That counts for something.” Hunter praised, angling his head so he could kiss your forehead.

“Yeah, I’m a work in progress.” You managed to say with some light-heartedness before your voice went solemn again. “Just don’t give up on me… please.”

“Never.” Hunter promised with steadfast seriousness.

Your eyes flickered shut and you snuggled closer to him as he ran his hand up and down your arm in soft, delicate patterns.

“Want to sleeping try again?” He suggested after he felt your breathing and pulse settle back down.

You gulped but agreed to give sleep another go. “Okay.” You laid back down readjusted the covers you had kicked off in your sleep-panicked state. You breathed deeply as you closed your eyes and willed yourself to at least get a couple uninterrupted hours. But the darker part of your nightmare, the part you couldn’t vocalise, lingered with you and you didn’t know how to get past it.

Hunter wrapped his arm around your side and pulled your back tight to his chest, but despite all you opened up about, he knew you were holding something back. It was the same every night and he knew sleep would continue to elude you.

--

This new day was nearly over. Dusk had come and gone but the concept of night and sleep filled you with a deep anxiety. You needed to clear your head before you even thought about winding down for the night. “I’m going for a walk; I’ll be back soon.” You said, giving Hunter a chaste kiss to his lips before you exited your home.

Hunter gave you a slight smile as you parted from him, and he could only watch you leave. He had never felt so helpless.

He knew he couldn’t quite help you in the way you needed but there might be someone else who could.

--

“Hey there, Hunter.” Phee greeted cheerily as she opened the door to greet the clone.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Hunter asked apologetically.

Phee rolled her eyes, “Pfftt no way. He’s been at this for hours, if you can get his attention onto something else, be my guest.”  She led him through to the living room.

Tech grunted his greeting as he sought out the tool that he needed for the task he was completing for Shep. The island had a healer- Dalia, but she mainly operated out of her home because, until recently, that suited just fine. But when the attack on Pabu occurred, Shep and Dalia had found themselves ill-prepared for accommodating the seriousness of the injuries that followed so Tech was assisting in expanding and updating her equipment and resources. AZ was already a big help with that, but more was needing done. It was a longer but important project that Tech was taking very seriously.

 “Sorry about the mess.” Phee said with an annoyed yet affectionate stare in Tech’s direction, but she was not surprised when the clone did not appear to even register that she’d spoken. She had stopped trying to get Tech to tidy as he went about altering this latest piece of machinery since he’d insistently claimed there was an order to the chaos around him. The entire area in which he was working was covered with random tools and intricate pieces of machinery. Phee struggled to see how this all equalled a system since all she saw was an array random pieces of metal taking up her living room floor. It didn’t truly bother her though; it was just another quirk she was fond off. Her appreciation for his intelligence and passion outweighed a little untidiness.

“Don’t worry, it’s something I’m very used to.” Hunter said lightly as he carefully stepped over some discarded screws.

“Sit down.” Phee encouraged, gesturing to a spare chair as she took a seat on the couch across from where Tech was working in the middle of the floor. But when Hunter made no move to do so, Phee properly looked at him and she noticed the distant and slightly nervous expression Hunter donned. “Everything alright?”

“I need your help, Tech.” Hunter said in answer.

Tech spoke for the first time since Hunter arrived as he found the spanner he needed, “I’m not yet finished with this. Once I’m done-”

“I don’t need you to fix anything, Tech. It’s about (Y/N). She’s struggling right now and-”

“Well, we know that she has a habit of taking things on by herself. A habit both of you have shared for quite a while.” Tech said plainly, not taking his eyes off the medical equipment he was fixing up. “I wouldn’t take her refusal or dismissals personally.”

Hunter bit back his frustrated huff. He knew attempting to get his brother’s focus when he was so absorbed by a project was always going to be challenging. He went to speak again but Phee beat him to it.

Enough was enough. Phee firmly nudged Tech’s good thigh with her boot, “Would you stop playing around with that and actually pay attention to what he has to say?”

Tech snapped out of his intense concentration. “Right, yes. Sorry, Hunter.” He started officially packing up. Once he was done, he gave his brother his full attention and it was then that he saw the genuine worry on Hunter’s face which told him it was more important than any mechanical repair. “What’s going on with her?”

“She keeps having nightmares from her capture on Tantiss. I can’t remember the last time she slept through the night.” Hunter took a ragged breath. “And it’s not like she’s keeping them to herself and that’s why they’re so bad. She’s doing everything we’ve worked on. She talks to me; she lets me in and help her, but I know there’s something else she’s keeping hidden. And it’s because she knows I can’t offer her the right words, or she wants to protect me from whatever it is she’s not telling me. I’m stuck and she’s not getting any better and I can’t offer her anything more than what I’m currently doing.”

“So, how exactly can I help?” Tech asked, rather puzzled as to why his brother had come to him with this dilemma. He wasn’t exactly known for providing helpful assistance for this type of issue. It wasn’t that he never wanted to, it just always didn’t come easily to him and usually you and Hunter would always be able to work through it yourselves.

Hunter began tentatively, “Y-your experiences were- were similar. I’d thought about Crosshair but what he went through was a bit different and from what you’ve told us, it sounds closer to what she’s been through. I hate to ask it of you but-”

“Where is she?” Tech asked, getting to his feet.

“If you’re not comfortable doing this I understand. It’s a lot to talk about and-”

“Hunter, just tell me where she is.” Tech interrupted with a firm reassurance to show that he truly didn’t mind.

“Down by the shore.” Hunter told him through a grateful sigh.  

Tech nodded and got ready to leave for the beach.

--

You breathed in the fresh and clean sea air, a gentle breeze wafted through your hair. The moonlight cast the water and sand in a luminous white glow. It offered you a peace you were yet to find in your own mind. The faint but demanding whines of the hound you’d acquired on your walk down had you smiling to yourself as you focused on the sounds of the waves lapping on the shore.

Tech saw you seated on the sand, Batcher waiting for you to throw a stick for her. “Did you know that gravity and the gravitational pull of the moon creates a phenomenon called tidal force, which is what causes the ocean tides to change?”

“I mean… I knew it was something like that.” You straightened your shoulders and managed a tight smile in his direction. “Hey, Tech.” You hoped you didn’t sound as exhausted as you felt.

Tech picked up on the heaviness in your voice despite your attempts to conceal it. “Also, did you know that water absorbs the red light of the colour spectrum, leaving the blue for us to see.” He added as he threw the stick for the hound.

You hummed out your acceptance of the fact as a reply whilst Batcher returned the stick but- after greeting Tech- decided she’d had enough and curled up beside you. “You didn’t come here to share ocean facts, Tech.” You said after a moment. “What’s going on?”

“You’re right. I have another purpose in joining you.” Tech admitted as he sat down on your other side.

“Which is?” You asked leadingly.

“Hunter asked me to. He’s worried about you.” He gave you a chance to speak but you offered nothing, so he carried on, “From what I hear, you’re having difficulty sleeping due to nightmares. They are based around your confinement on Tantiss?”

You cleared your throat to buy yourself some time before you answered, “Yeah.” You brought your knees to your chest.

“Can you tell me more? Whatever you’re comfortable sharing is fine.”

You breathed deeply and peered up at the starry night sky. “Well, you know about Christophsis.”

Tech nodded. That was something he’d been told about on the shuttle back.

“Tantiss… Tantiss was different. I took beatings but they were a treat compared to that fucking droid. Hemlock did a much better job of getting the most out of that damn serum. It got harder and harder to fight it. He knew exactly what buttons to push.”

“I’m afraid I had a helping hand in that.” Tech said sheepishly.

You placed your hand on his shoulder. “I don’t blame you, Tech. Not at all.” You reassured him earnestly.

“Regardless, his methods would’ve been that effective because I told him what would work.”

You patted his shoulder to indicate that you really didn’t hold any of that period against him before you removed it and placed it back across your bent legs. You surprisingly found that you kept wanting to talk so you carried on, “I’d never be able to ignore him, he’d always be able to get in my head so, instead, I’d would look for things to take me out of it.”

“A reasonable response.” Tech agreed. The times when he’d resisted, he’d acted similarly.

You felt irritation rise in you. You’d been weak, how could he not see that? “He told me you were alive, and I used it as a way to keep pushing back against him. Omega didn’t doubt it and she only heard him say it once.”

Hunter had warned him about this before he’d left. He expected you to say things designed to make him reprimand you instead of sympathising with you. The part of ‘no emotion’ element of the Jedi Code was deeply engrained in you. Despite your affinity for handling attachment and genuine love for them, when it came to your own emotions, you had gotten a bit too good at supressing or dismissing them. “Years fighting in a war has a way of creating a certain cynicism- or realism- depending on your point of view. It helps with survival and enduring each battle. I may have gotten out of it but even I have to admit that the odds were slim. I called out the plan. I knew what I was doing, I didn’t expect to live, and I didn’t expect you all to assume that I had.” Tech easily explained away the argument. “I’m grateful for Omega’s optimism and hope- it is a wonderful quality of hers and it got me out of there and brought me back to you all-, but I never expected you to believe I lived.”

You couldn’t accept the fact that the people around you were okay with how you’d acted. Every night was a painful reminder of how you’d failed them. “What I don’t understand is why Tantiss is still affecting me in this way. I got over Christophsis just fine.”

“No, you didn’t process Christophsis. You were thrown into mission after mission and were left with no choice but to keep going. It is highly plausible that Hemlock’s own similar torture was harder to get through because it was a reminder of a traumatic time that you’d already experienced but not healed from. Plus, I don’t believe feeling the effects of torture has a time requirement.”

You sighed heavily, “You’re the second person to tell me all that.”

“Does that not tell you something?” Tech prodded but he did it gently.

“I guess.” You said through a weary sigh as you ran your hands through the sand to distract yourself. “I handed myself over to Hemlock though. I gave up.”

“The guilt you’re experiencing over agreeing to Hemlock’s terms is natural. You-”

“It wasn’t guilt. Not wholly.” You said, your voice so quiet it barely registered over the rhythmic lull of the waves.

Tech glanced at you in surprise, but you were keeping your head down, stroking Batcher’s snout- the dog seemed to sense your distress and had nuzzled closer to you. He allowed the silence to grow as he patiently awaited further explanation from you.  

You swallowed thickly as you went to speak again. “I was relieved.” You admitted, it was the first time you’d ever said the words out loud, and you instantly wished you could take them back. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you awaited the disappointed and shameful remarks from Tech.

“What were you relieved about?” Tech asked calmly.

That hadn’t been the response you were expecting. “Um-” You searched for the words to answer him. “When I was-” You broke off and started again and you found yourself being more honest than you’d anticipated. “When I was in that training room watching Hunter be tortured and I heard Hemlock say that he was going to do the same conditioning to Crosshair again and to Wrecker too… I gave him what he wanted. Throughout my time there, he wanted me to join him and that’s what I was prepared to do. But as I said it, there was a sense of relief. Finally, I could stop fighting him. The torture he put me through would end. And in the dream- nightmare- I keep having, as much as I hate what’s happening, part of why I can’t move to help any of you is because I’m just relived it isn’t me.” You visibly tensed as you finished speaking. Saying that last part out loud caused you physical pain and your stomach churned nervously as you waited for judgement. There had been a reason you couldn’t share this with Hunter. It sounded so selfish, so pathetic.

“I understand that.”

You angled your head to face him. It was your turn to wait for him to talk.

Tech took a grounding breath before he elaborated, “In my time imprisoned there, Hemlock wanted to know all he could about you all. He knew there would be a time where he’d have to face you all again. I didn’t quite experience the same beatings you took; it was always psychological. But whenever I showed willing to give him information, all I felt in that moment was a profound relief that the torment and pain would end. Granted, that swiftly became guilt as soon as he left but I couldn’t deny the respite those few minutes of me telling him about you all gave me. Now, did you only feel relief at it being over? Or was it relief that you could join him and do his bidding?”

You thought back to that time and realised what he was getting at. “No, it was because I knew if I gave him what he wanted, then at least they wouldn’t have to go through any more agony. At the time, imprisonment felt like the better option than becoming one of his operatives and experiencing that level of hurt.”

“Precisely. Your sleep is being haunted by the worst outcome. It’s praying on the flash of relief you felt and twisting it into something more than what it was. If you accept what happened and stop fighting it, it loses its power. You didn’t do anything wrong, you acted how you needed to. The only person that has the power to blame you is yourself. No one here does, sometimes it just helps to hear it out loud once in a while and it’s true. You resisted him for as long as you physically could. Those circumstances would’ve cracked anyone.”

You looked at him thoughtfully. “Is that how you did it?” You asked quietly.

“Well, I didn’t. Not always.” Tech reminded you, assuming you were referring to how he resisted Hemlock’s torment.

“No.” You released another deep sigh. “You seem to have settled here. You’re coping with it, and you were there for a long time.”

“I was in hell on Tantiss but not so much anymore. Being reunited with you all has really helped. Though I think if I had to watch any of them get hurt the way you had to, it would be different.” As he spoke, Tech realised why Hunter had come to him for this. He was sharing this part of him with you because he knew you were the only one that would truly get it. There was no worry of judgement, no worries of saying something too jarring. You would understand him just as he understood you. “I’ve accepted what happened to me and how I reacted to it but you’re the only one that knows those particular details of my experience. Phee and my brothers do not. Family helps with some of the burden but until you’ve had the unfortunate time of living it, their support can only do so much. We need each other it would seem.” Tech said with a kind look in your direction.

You widened your eyes at his openness. You were incredibly touched by that, and you didn’t take the lightly. “Thank you, Tech.”

“You asked a question, I merely answered.”

You shot him a look, “That’s not the only thing I’m thanking you for.” After speaking to him and fully unburdening yourself to someone who could only understand where you were coming from without the worry of saying the wrong thing or being too much, you felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You weren’t plagued by all the horrible and conflicting feelings that had followed you since Tantiss. You could breathe. You were free. You gently squeezed his hand as you said, “Thank you for what you’ve done tonight. For all of it.”

Tech shrugged off the thanks but smiled at you all the same. “We’re family, it’s what we do.”

--

You walked through the door to your home and took your shoes off.

Hunter walked out of the bedroom as he heard you come through the door. “Hey, how was your walk?”

You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you just drank him in. You took in the way he leaned against the doorway, the book he was reading dangling from his hand. The way the soft linens of his sleep clothes framed his body. The way he’d still kept and worn the necklace you’d given him all that time ago. And the way he was looking at you with such deep care and affection, it made your heart clench and emotions clog up in your throat- you didn’t trust yourself to speak.

Hunter took your silence for upset. “I had to tell him. I thought-” But he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you strode towards him and embraced him.

You hugged him tightly. “Thank you.” You whispered.

Dropping his book and wrapping his arms around you instantly, Hunter rested his cheek on top of your head. He didn’t need or expect you to share the details of the conversation with Tech, he’d realised that you needed a different kind of comfort and that was okay. All that mattered to him was that it helped you.

You let the warmth of his soothing hold flow through your body, and you kept your voice hushed as you said, “I want you to know that it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you it all.”

“I know.” Hunter replied softly as he caringly caressed your back. He would not break away until you wanted to.

You pressed your face into the crook of his shoulder. Even though he had sent Tech your way, you didn’t want him to feel like he’d let you down or anything along that vein. “You did everything right. I needed you there… I still need you there. I can’t get through it without you but…” The words to describe just what it was Tech gifted you got lost and you frantically searched for them so he would know why you hadn’t just come to him with it.

The last thing Hunter needed or wanted was you feeling like you had to reassure him on the issue. “Sweetheart, all I wanted was for this to get easier for you. I know that there are emotions and parts of that experience on Tantiss that I will never fully understand- as much as that kills me, I wish none of it had happened to you or Tech in the first place but that doesn’t change the fact that it did. You needed more than a shoulder to lean on, and if Tech gave you that, then that’s all that matters to me. I won’t stop being there, whatever it is you need, I’m here.”

The wave of emotion came rushing back and tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and you found yourself pressing yourself tighter to him still so there were absolutely no gaps between you. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“I love you, giving up is never an option.” Hunter murmured as he kissed the crown of your head.

“I love you too.” You croaked as you fought through the lump in your throat.

You stayed like that for a couple more minutes before you finally pulled away.

Hunter wiped away a few stray tears that had escaped your eyes. “Fancy an early night?”

“Yeah.” You said through a deep exhale as the exhaustion you’d been fighting with came crashing into you. “That sounds good.”

--

3 weeks later.

“How’s your pain? Anymore headaches?” You asked Hunter as the two of you wandered arm in arm through the main square. You had been keeping a watchful eye in the time that had passed but he hadn’t had any bad episodes of late.

“Everything feels back to normal.” Hunter replied. “And you? How are you sleeping these days?” From what he could tell, you were sleeping through the night but that didn’t necessarily mean they weren’t still there.

“No nightmares at all.” You said with a relieved sigh. The weight of what you’d endured was no longer keeping you down. It had no control over you anymore. You’d thrown yourself back into mediating again and that also seemed to help a lot.

You both walked in easy silence, smiling at the clones from Tantiss who had stayed and at the merchants shouting out enticing deals and offerings from their stalls as you passed by.  

“Although, there’s one thing I need…”

You glanced at him expectantly.

“Can you try it now? I should be fine.”

You hadn’t done it since settling down here in case it was too much. “You’re sure?” You double checked.

Hunter nodded. It was the final step to the normality that he craved.

You both paused and headed over to the side walkway of the colonnade that offered shelter from the open area. You reached out into his familiar Force signature, the connection you formed with it giving you an extra sense of security and warmth. How does this feel?

Hunter closed his eyes and breathed out a serene sigh as he heard your voice in his head, but it felt like everything finally clicked back into place. Then, he felt the gentle press of your lips against his. He reacted automatically and placed his hands on your waist as he returned the embrace.

“What was that for?” He whispered against your lips as you parted.

“It’s part of the check up process.” You murmured before you took half a step back to look at him properly, but you kept your arms looped around his neck so that he was still close to you.

Hunter gave you a fond smile. “Ah, of course.” He sweetly stroked his thumb along your jawline.

You shut your eyes and leaned into his touch.

“Are you happy?” Hunter asked after a few beats of silence.

You dropped your arms and looked at him in surprise. “Yes, of course I am!” You looked at him, worry furrowing across your brow. “What brought that on?”

Hunter awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “I know things haven’t been easy since we arrived here. It didn’t get off to the peaceful start that I’d hoped for. I just want to make sure it’s still what you want and that you’re definitely feeling better.”

You were caught off guard by the emotions that caught in your throat. What did you do to deserve such a man? “I am very content and happy here; Hunter.” You took a hold of each of his hands. “I’m very content and happy being here with you.” You let out a faint, slightly embarrassed laugh, “I am very much in love with you, you silly man. Every day that I wake up beside you, every day that I get to come home to you and every day I just get to be around you is a day that reminds me that how lucky I am.” You removed your hands and lightly followed the lines of his face tattoo. “Are you happy?”

“Completely.” Hunter murmured as his eyes fluttered shut as he fell completely complaint under your touch.

“Good. Settling down here is what exactly what I want, things just weren’t settling down as quickly as I would’ve liked but it’s different now. We’re both doing much better, it’s a good thing.” You kissed his cheek and delicately brushed your fingers through the shorter strands of hair at the front of his head. I love you, that’s never changed, and it never will. Does that about cover everything?

“Almost.” Hunter said huskily as his own love for you overcame him.

Before you could question what he meant, he tugged you in tight to him and kissed you passionately. You felt him cradle the hinge of your jaw, silently asking permission to deepen the kiss and you granted him access without a second thought. You tangled your fingers in his hair and pressed yourself close to him. You allowed yourself a few minutes to just get lost in the pleasure he was giving you, but you remembered where you were and with a groan, you withdrew from his embrace.

It hurt you to pull away and from the way Hunter just insistently pushed you back against the stone column and carried on kissing and raking his teeth along your neck, he wasn’t impressed with stopping either. “We- we came here for groceries.” You hummed distractedly as you found yourself titling your head to give him easier access.

“So, we’ll get them tomorrow.” Hunter responded simply as he kissed behind your ear and brushed his fingers under your shirt and along the soft skin of your stomach.

“We have- have no f- food and-” You attempted to protest but now his mouth was doing wonderful things along your pulse point that was making you feel very lightheaded.

“That’s fine. What I’m in the mood for, only you can give me.” Hunter teasingly dipped his fingers just under the waistband of your leggings.

You forced yourself to get a grip before you were too far gone. “Get off.” You playfully shoved at his chest with an exasperated shake of your head.

Hunter inclined his head in surrender, “How about you shop, and I meet you at home?” He offered as he stopped his teasing and removed himself from you.

“Is this your bizarre way of just wanting to get out of a chore?” You joked, crossing your arms and feigning irritation.

“No, I just think that if I stay, we’re going to wind up getting done for public indecency and it would be entirely my fault.”

Despite his admission, you still saw a faint but lustful glint in his eyes and you knew he was envisioning precisely what would happen if the two of you remained by this column. And you knew both of you would decide it was worth the risk. You gulped as you hastily said before you lost control of yourself, “I’ll see you at home.”

Hunter released a low chuckle before he kissed you softly once more, the promise of what was to come still lingered behind the action despite his best attempts to keep it brief.

You took a few hesitant steps away him and then gathered yourself and went about your task- your walk brisker than before.

--

Hunter watched you before he moved out from the shelter of the pillar. He spotted Omega sitting with Lyana by the Maya tree. He called over to her.

“What’s up?” Omega asked breezily as she jogged over to him.

“Can you round up the boys and meet me at home? I’ll get Echo on comms.”

“How come?” Omega asked curiously.

“There’s a mission I’m gonna need all your help with. But it needs to just be the five of us.” He indicated to where you were making a purchase. “Think you can get Lyana to delay her return?”

“A mission? Then why can’t-” An excited gasp left her as she saw the silent but confirming look that Hunter gave her. They’d all been eagerly waiting for this. “Yes! I’m on it!” She sprinted off back to Lyana, chaotically relaying the instructions before she ran go find the others.

Hunter laughed to himself as he saw her enthusiastic departure before he hustled off back home and readied the comm channel for Echo. It didn’t take long for the clone to answer.

“You better be calling for the reason I hope you’re calling for.” Echo said by way of greeting.

“Think you can help me out?” Hunter replied with a validatory nod at the holoimage of Echo and he saw the way Echo’s shoulders lifted as he realised it was finally going to happen. Hunter had talked to them all about it in the days after arriving on Pabu and it had been met with an enthusiastic yet somehow still teasing response. It reminded him of how he felt back before the two of you officially got together, with the others just waiting for it to happen. He’d wanted to do it sooner, but your circumstances changed, and so he wanted to wait until both of you were recovered. And, whilst they’d all accepted his decision to hold off, they had been impatient for this day for both genuine well-being purposes but also because they wanted it for the two of you- his family were very supportive and insistent on him doing this. With things faring better, he felt comfortable doing it now. “I don’t want to take you away from anything urgent or-”

“Name it!” Echo said with a pleased smile.

Before he could get into what he needed Echo to do, he heard the door open. Hunter half-turned to see the crowd of eager and motivated faces made up of Omega and his brothers.  

All of them gathered round him and Echo’s hologram.

Hunter took a deep inhale and exhale. In a strange way, this was going to be one of the most important yet daunting missions he’d undertaken. “Alright, we don’t have long before she gets home. Here’s what I need…”

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @notgonnaedit, @arctrooper69, @andreaaxy, @dominoeffectsworld, @allthingsimagines , @nightmonkeysstuff , @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff , @qvnthesia @justsomerandompersonintheworld

Next Oneshot>

[auxins-insanities]

I'm concerned about Purple and MT.

Like the two most mentally unstable bitches are now attempting to become a family unit??

That's a fucking recipe for disaster.

A lot of people see them as this perfect family almost immediately after AvM S3 ends. Like, it's cute and all, but MT is unstable and Purple isn't any better. The only difference is MT has much fresher wounds, and Purple has mostly childhood traumas, as well as the stuff MT put them through.

As much as they fill the roles of people they lost, the two honestly need time to heal separately because they probably just see each other now as Navy/Orchid 2.0 (MT feels like a combination of Purple's biological parents to me) and Gold 2.0.

But obviously, they are their own people, and cant be different just to give the other the comfort of conformity. (ESPECIALLY in MT's case. He obviously can't physically abuse Purple because that's what they're used to.)

Not to mention the scars MT has given Purple in S3, which makes them more likely to be terrified of him the second something goes wrong. MT starts thinking it's his fault, etc, etc...

At least one of them starts relapsing into a horrible mental state and we've got the same problem again.

All that said, I feel like they just need to get some goddamn help and have time to heal separately before becoming a family unit, otherwise everything can very easily go wrong and they deserve only the best.

(im very attached to these characters to the point that they're basically like real ppl to me abnsbnsbh)

[damnikindadontcare]

Actually The Bear is a really good case study on trauma being deemed as abhorrent when it’s not presented in a pretty or digestible way within media including how characters who struggle with it are seen as unlovable. Particularly within Carmen’s character and the audience’s response to his behavior in season 3. Let me start this off by saying I’m not trying excuse any of Carmy’s actions throughout s3, I’m just acknowledging that trauma and it’s effects on the traumatized individual as well the effects on people in their life are complex and unpredictable, furthermore, people who haven’t experienced trauma tend to be more judgmental than compassionate towards them. Carmy is no different; him exhibiting this behavior and a certain part of The Bear fanbase choosing to ignore his past or just plain forgetting it and acting he’s like the worst person to have ever existed for having trauma and experiencing many of it’s ugly side effects. I firmly believe that a big part of this reaction is because many people lack nuance in media and an understanding that nothing is ever truly black and white. There are many shades of grey within humanity and The Bear is one of the few pieces of media that does a wonderful job of showing that. It’s glaringly obvious that Carmy has a multitude of issues that need to be addressed before he can run a successful restaurant and maintain healthy relationships. But None of that makes him an irredeemable or horrible person. It makes him a flawed human being that needs help who is also deserving of love and support. Trauma is far from beautiful and I’m tired of people acting like it needs to be portrayed in media in a sanitized way that erases all the hardships that come with it because they feel uncomfortable when they’re shown the gritty, raw, vulnerable truth of what trauma really is; of what it really does to a person. Carmy is no exception, he is struggling with his mental health in a way that is not pretty and wrapped up in a bow and people can’t handle it because we’re being shown the reality of it. He is angry, lashing out, spiraling, handling his emotions the only way he knows how by throwing himself into his work. I won’t deny that he has treated the people in his life poorly and he will need to earn their forgiveness in his own time. Yet none of that makes him any less worthy of love and patience. He needs professional help but he will only reach out when he’s ready too and even then it won’t go away over night. It can take months, and possibly years to truly heal from every thing he’s been through and after all of that he will still have bad days and he will still be just as worthy of love on those days as he is on the good ones. Struggling with trauma will never make anybody underserving of being treated with kindness or compassion and it will never make anyone any less worthy of being loved.

[bisclavret]

incomplete list of things about gwaine that drive me crazy in no particular order:

he was the son of a knight but earned his knighthood by different means, so his origins are never mentioned again. except when merlin (in old bitch mode) threatens to ~out~ him with "i know what you are". assuming what he means is that gwaine is a [secret noble] and not a [homophobic slur]

does this mean his heritage is something gwaine does not want to broadcast? why? he's a noble now anyway. is it because the other new knights aren't of noble birth and he doesn't want to stand out? is he that insecure?

hold on i just got a note about this from the writers room. it says "who gives a shit" ???? what do they mean by this?

king caerleon and queen annis become important characters down the line and gwaine somehow does not get involved with their plot at all. he's from caerleon so that's literally the king that tore apart his family and left them to die. s3 gwaine seemed pretty severely traumatized by all this but i guess he got over it

it's like they put him in a suit of armor and he immediately got brain damage. what do you mean "how do we know which way is north"??? gwaine. gwaine how many fingers am i holding up

"why am i always the butt [of the joke]?" he asks his fellow knights. they clown on him even harder.

but tbh it's a fair question — why is he always the butt of the joke? it's always either him or merlin. y'know, merlin the walking talking gay metaphor... and sir gawain from the famous bisexual christmas story (that never happened). why are the two of them always the butt of the joke? i wonder if—no.... it cannot be.....

"got bored of playing soldiers" gwaine tells his closest friend before helping him rescue a "traitor". but we don't have time to unpack all that. in fact, forget he said anything. forget it just like he's about to forget seeing merlin do magic right in front of his face in a few minutes.

sir gwaine loves playing soldiers! he loves saying things like "enough! you speak to the king!" because evoking royal status to force people into submission is gwaine's favorite thing to do. as we all know.

a sorcerer looks him right in the eye and tells him "i am not evil. i am just someone who values his freedom" the "...are you?", like anything that could be remotely interesting in this show, is left unspoken. and is he??? idk guys

the diamair - that alien-looking creature that contains all the wisdom in the world - healed gwaine from the brink of death and seemed to single him out as important. but important how? he unceremoniously dies later that season having achieved zero notable quests as a knight; in fact he probably had more epic adventures as a rogue traveler!

or was the most important moment in gwaine's life — his purpose — to chaperone merlin to a cave without even knowing why?

i mean why not i suppose. kilgharrah was plotting his merthur doomed yaoi the entire time so it's plausible the diamair was on the merwaine doomed yaoi train.

speaking of doomed yaoi. (you knew we'd get there)

pov: you're a charming rogue adventurer with no friends. one day you meet a cute weirdo who begs you to get knighted and stay in town so you can keep bonding over your daddy issues or whatever it is guys do. you keep refusing but after the third time he asks you're like sure why not i've lowkey always wanted to try this. and then as soon as you're knighted he promptly loses all interest in you unless he needs something.

so what do you do?

a) keep challenging him the way you used to because it always works on him and he always comes out of his shell and it's always a rewarding experience for both of you

b) have a bittersweet arc where you grapple with the fact that knighthood and life at camelot aren't what you hoped they'd be after all — in part due to your people-pleasing tendencies

c) let the cute weirdo keep calling the shots even when he closes off even more and seems increasingly miserable and antisocial

d) passive-aggressively hint that you would do more for him than for any girl but never tell him how you feel or what you know and never directly ask him to trust you because misery and apathy are infectious and brother you've caught the bug

e) march off to face the local evil witch basically unarmed (you gave away your own sword in lieu of a love confession) and let her put you out of your misery once and for all <3

[zephyrusswinds]

Everyone's always like "oh Wukong getting the circlet back is gonna bring some good Shadowpeach drama" but like... How would Mk feel??? I can just imagine Wukong freaking the fuck out and Mk of all people is the only one who can calm him down, the WHOLE gang (including Macaque) just remind of the journey. ESPECIALLY TANG.

like bro... how hard is it to have some sunburst duo angst guys.... all I want to see is Mk realizing how emotionally fucked up Wukong is and him being the only person he's emotionally vulnerable with, I really wanna see how Mk and swk interacting like this because Mk feels like swk is all holy and shit, but I am in desperate need of swk being forced to show how actually broken he is, and who else can he trust BUT Mk?

mk Is one of the few ppl who actually care abt him, and in return, all of the love Wukong feels is directed towards him, which naturally has caused Mk to idolize him- even if he knows swk was never the best person. swk throughout s1-s3 has never truly been vulnerable w/ him, and in s4 Mk only scratches through the surface of the emotional trauma his mentor has. And so I feel like having Wukong freak the fuck out about the circlet is the first step in Wukong actually healing. I feel like he'll only confide in Mk how much he's scared or whatever because Mk is the only person who doesn't remind him of his past (the journey, specifically), and so the circlet has little to no association with him.

and I know some ppl would make the argument that "oh Macaque has known him emotionally or whatever" but I don't necessarily believe that means Macaque would comfort him in the same way Mk would. in the s5 trailer, it's MK putting his arm on Wukong when Li Jing put the circlet onto him, not MACAQUE. this proves that Mk cares abt him heavily (physically AND emotionally), but I don't disagree that Macaque cares, I just think that Mk is more prone to caring about him explicitally than Mac. it's obvious that he's way too early in his character arc to care for Wukong like Mk does.

and I think that that care would lead into Mk being more open w/ Wukong, and maybe after all that, Wukong would confide in him more.

i feel like at this point Mk will have to take on the task of being Wukong's emotional support system, he'll have to grapple with all the shit Wukong has been through, and I fully believe he'll wonder how tf Wukong was able to live with all that. especially now, when he's being forced to remember his past (in a more physical sense, that is, s4 was more emotional than anything)

SO when Li Jing puts the circlet back onto him, maybe Wukong will instinctually lean into the emotional comfort Mk provides him? and since he's probably the only person who's been willing to actually listen to him, maybe he'll open up to him more, now that he practically has no choice.

or he'll have a panic attack while Mk holds him in his arms and desperately tries to calm him down while the rest of the gang watches without realizing that they're making things worse, but hey, what do i know

i am a firm believer in Wukong having severe PTSD from the journey if you couldn't tell already

[raylenships]

GUYS. GUYS. It's gonna be okay. Just think of it this way because I saw @tastywormfood talking about this and it lowkey comforted me just a tiny bit.

Season 4 is a prequel, okay? It's the badly written season that they tried to fit in between s2 and 3 but did a terrible job. S3 is the actual finale where we get the yummy Snufmin angst and fluff and an amazing ending. So here's a lil comfort checklist that'll for sure cheer us all up after the long disastrous few days we've suffered through.

1. Take a nice long breath of Moominvalley air and say some positive affirmations.

-"S4 is a prequel"

-"Snufmin is the original meant-to-be"

-"I will survive this. Probably"

-"S3 will save me"

-"So will fanfiction"

2. Rewatch S3 and bask in the warmth that is Snufmin fluff and pining. Specifically, watch episode 8. Near the end. 18:36. Don't judge me.

3. Go to AO3 and pray to the Hobgoblin that it isn't shut down for once. If the Hobgoblin answers your prayers, go read every Snufmin fic you can get your paws on. I promise you'll feel better ;)

4. Let's all go pay @faygosta on YouTube a visit and blow up his notifications on his old Snufmin 3d video. Gotta get this guy to save our lives and help us create the better season that was always meant to be, am I right? Plus, his video alone could do a great deal of cheering up. Trust me.

5. Art is a great healing method and Pinterest is a great place to start your Snufmin art therapy sessions. God knows how much we need them after this.

6. Keep up hope that there's actually gonna be a finale episode in the coming months that I've been hearing snippets about. Maybe we'll get a little more mercy and kindness from the writers then after they've had a chance to simmer in the heat of the crockpot mess of a fandom they've created.

Good lord I have never been so disappointed in my life. We got queerbaited like no fandom has ever been before(unless the newly shortened Good Omens season has anything to say about it). But we are a strong fandom, a united fandom, one that cares about justice and freedom for their gay lil bois. Can I get an AMEN?! We'll get through this somehow!

[shorthaltsjester]

we don’t even get reasons to believe vox machina is scanlan’s family in s3 AND they undercut bard’s lament. like. yeah yeah. adaptation. blah blah. literally you can choose one of those to cut from the season and have any of scanlan’s arc feel like an arc and not just the guy existing in the corner and alas. like. scanlan saying “you’re my family” to grog and pike makes sense sure, saying it to vex and vax and keyleth after the season they’ve had? i have no reason to believe that beyond scanlan’s words. not to be a hater (lying) but this season was a bit heavy on failing the show don’t tell rule when it comes to group bonds which. are definitely the kinds of things you really need to show. also and this Is because i’m a Vex And Scanlan Worstie Soulmates Guy™ and i understand why but. vex not being the one to go get kaylie did hurt me intrinsically in a way that will not be healed. what do you mean vex didn’t look at a daughter with a shithead of a father and see that scanlan was a chance that kaylie still had to be loved in a way that vex herself would never feel. devastating news for scanlan and vex mirror selves truthers.