#I need them bc i need them leave me alone
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i’d like to say this is NOT a request i do just be yapping because you're such an inspiration to me!! thinking about a scenario where lighter gets injured protecting his s/o…him downplaying or ignoring his injury until its just the two of you, and when you’re fussing over him and dressing his wounds he’s gently thumbing away your tears and telling you all the sweet nothings about how it’d take a lot more than that to get rid of him, where’s your faith in the red scarf? he’s okay baby it looks worse than it actually is.
trying to be calm for your sake but he’s so shaken up internally because if he hadn’t jumped in he might’ve lost you…and at the same time, seeing you cry over a guy like him? wrapping him up with such care like he hasn’t broken bodies with his bare hands? he’s so overwhelmed and when you’re done disinfecting and bandaging and try to leave his side for any reason he’s wrapping you up in his big scarred arms and he won't let go for anything. please just stay right here where he can nuzzle against your pulse and smell your shampoo and feel your warmth.
every wet little sniffle from you is met with a kiss from him, he turns your face into a mural for his love, peppering kisses of relief and apology alike across your forehead, temple, cheeks, and nose. and when your lips finally meet it’s like you’re breathing life back into him, he can’t get enough. suddenly nothing is enough. he’s gently coaxing your clothes off because he needs you closer, needs to feel your bare chest against his so he knows your hearts are pounding in tandem. if you try to deny him because of his wounds he’s not afraid to beg, you can ride him as slow and careful as you want he just needs you. ughghgh slow soft emotional sex with lighter where neither of you care about actually getting off has me in a chokehold
i'm,,,,, i'm an inspiration?? anon i will kiss you on the mouth that's like the best thing anyone's ever said to me
the rest of this ask is a close second bc oh my god. soft comfort sex w lighter.
trying so hard to keep it together for him, because he's the one injured, why is he the one comforting you? you're scolding him for being reckless but your heart isn't in it, he sees the way your hands shake as you dress his wounds ever so gently and the tears threatening to spill over, and he's also trying to hold himself together because it doesn't look like you could handle him in any worse state. and that fact alone makes that knot in his chest tighten, how much you care for him, the fact he's lucky enough to love someone so much and have them love him back and he was so close to losing that. he's forcing himself not to think about what would have happened if he'd jumped in just a little later, because the brave face he's putting on is holding on by a thread. he really just wants you as close as possible, needs to feel your skin against skin, needs there to be no doubt that you're still there, and you need the same.
#when he nearly loses you and him saving you means you nearly lose him#anon ur mind is unparalleled im gonna be thinking about this for the rest of my life#i'm. i'm unwell he's so hhhhhhhhhh#goldie yaps ♡#goldie yearns ♡#mdni#lighter x reader#zzz lighter#zzz lighter x reader#lighter lorenz x reader#zzz lighter lorenz#x reader
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mizuena/ena5 incoherent rant below bc i love them so much im losing my mind
I can't stop thinking about how much of mizuki's conflict in prsk is resolved entirely by ena's actions, not mizuki's own, and that's actually really fucking good. hear me out.
One of the driving emotions for Mizuki's conflict is obviously fear; she's afraid of being left once people know her secret, she's afraid she can only ever have shallow connections with people who wouldn't really accept her as who she is, she's afraid of losing the few friends she has and the one space where she feels like she can express herself through their shared art.
But beyond that, the other driving emotion for her is guilt. She feels guilty that she's been "deceiving" everyone else, she feels guilty that she's left Ena waiting for so long without telling her her secret, she feels guilty that everyone else seems to be moving forward and facing their fears while she seemingly can't. And when her secret is revealed, the strongest emotion she's going through isn't her fear of being left behind, it's the guilt that's been eating her away from the inside.
She tells ena that it can't be the same, that now ena won't be able to treat her the same, that she knows Ena and Kanade and Mafuyu are so kind they'll smile and tell her they're fine with it, but that they'll just be forcing themselves for the sake of kindness. That they'd rather not have to deal with everything that makes Mizuki complicated, but they would anyway because they're kind like that. That she can't bear that. She doesn't deserve that.
And all of this guilt is so real for this young trans girl to feel because it's what we're pushed towards constantly, even when we're supposedly accepted for who we are. The lie that we're deceiving others when we present as our own gender is so deeply written into our collective psyche, and even beyond that, even in "progressive" spaces, the violence we suffer is often treated as our own burden to bear, as something we have to deal with and not burden other people with.
So many basic bitch stories about trans women, with trans women protags written by cis people, have them struggle and "grow" as the story progresses, having to "face their fears", to come out to people they're scared of leaving them, to "trust their loved ones" and take that first step. I think a lot about The Missing, a game that gets a lot of the horror of being a trans girl and yet still has the protagonist, who is so terrified of how her mom would react to her coming out she tries to end her own life, learn the lesson that she should come out anyway, trust this person that's only given her reasons to fear her, because that's the only way for her to move forward.
Mizuki doesn't do that. She doesn't have to. Mizu5 is all about the horror of being outed before you're ready to come out yourself, even to someone you know would show you kindness. And it allows Mizuki to stew in her own guilt, the guilt that she never faced her fears herself, that she's burdening N25 with her suffering. But Ena5 is about Ena, so patient and unwilling to hurt Mizuki, finally being moved to action by kaito and meiko agreeing that it's up to her to be selfish and try to bring Mizuki back, to recognize that Mizuki doesn't want to be alone.
It's up to Ena to do the scary thing, for her to be open and vulnerable about her feelings. For her to go up to Mizuki, despite being ignored for so long, as someone who is so sensitive to being ignored- to being rejected- and to tell Mizuki what she needs- and deserves- to hear. That she's wanted. That Ena doesn't care if Mizuki thinks she deserves it or not, that Mizuki's guilt shouldn't factor in because Ena wants Mizuki beside her.
It's the ultimate transfem fantasy because it's the fantasy of being truly wanted, of being unconditionally loved. It's the fantasy of someone seeing you for who you are, and not just "accepting you" as if it's a favor they're doing you, but going as far as telling you that the way you've been conditioned by a lifetime of violence to feel and act to protect yourself is NOT your fault, it's NOT just your responsibility to deal with, that you deserve someone who will go through the effort of digging you out of that hole and that you're not a burden for needing that.
In a lot of subtle ways, Mizuki's story feels 1000% written by people who understand trans girls so far beyond the scope of the usual explaining-transness-to-cis-people style of narrative, even understanding ways that these narratives fuck up routinely and also understanding exactly what is needed to sneak this into a highly commercial hatsune miku gacha game. There's a lot of compromises made there for the sake of being this kind of story in this kind of game, but what we get in return is so much more meaningful as a transfem narrative than anything of similar popularity that I can think of, it fills me with so much emotion and I truly can't fathom believing it's somehow "bait" or "not real rep" unless you've never had to think about transmisogyny and how it emotionally affects you to this degree.
I'll never stop thinking about them. Congrats on the wedding mizuki and ena. someone like ena is exactly what every trans girl deserves, and never has someone proven herself more deserving of a trans girl's love than ena. i love them both so much my heart feels like it's going to explode whenever i think of them. huge thanks to everyone involved in creating their story
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Might as well write this post while I wait on the bus
“What the hell do you need photos of the inside of a van for” -my roommate, one month ago
Also colors for this one were picked from the palette of this song’s album cover
#idk roommate don’t question me#I need them bc i need them leave me alone#stranger things#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#if even a single one of u says sm odd about the album name#i will scream#inktober#inktober 2023#inktober day 31#for my future self#described in alt text
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You!! Hey you!! Are you looking for a pair of kittens? Do you live In Or Near Oklahoma? Do you wish you could listen to purring all the time? Do you want a cat that looks like an aye-aye?
long story short, we found these two kittens at the bottom of a garbage can!! I don't like to think about how they ended up in there- but we heard them crying while on a walk, and it's very lucky they were so loud! They were scared at first, but now they NEED to be snuggled at all times. Crazy how adaptable kittens are. I'd prefer to rehome them as a pair, but I'd consider adopting them out individually if that's my only option! Please IM me if you're interested in both/either of these babies, or if you have any questions at all!!
#reblogs would of course be appreciated#kittens#cats#sergle.txt#WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN EVERYBODY LAST TIME IT WAS CHALUPA NOW IT'S TWITCH AND CHAT#please please please take these cats from me I swear to god. you will love them. something clicked in their heads and now they LOVE people.#I'm telling you right now that adopting cats as a Set is the best idea. there's no better way to have two cats that Get Along#and you get to watch them play. and bc they keep eachother company they can handle being left alone for chunks of time#Chalupa really needed all hands on deck but I actually think someone who works full-time could have these two no problem#because they keep themselves occupied if you leave them alone but are ecstatic when you're around#source: they are upstairs rn to keep them separate from our Resident Cats and I hear them galloping around all the time while they play.
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i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.
He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.
And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.
And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.
Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.
Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."
There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.
It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.
Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.
At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.
"Do you like to do anything?"
Nothing. Just silence.
Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.
Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.
Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.
And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.
He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.
Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.
So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.
"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"
"Don't."
He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.
Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"
"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."
It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"
The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."
Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."
And they fall back into silence.
Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."
He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.
(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)
At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.
Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.
("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")
(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)
(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)
It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."
The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."
The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.
When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.
Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.
"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."
When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.
Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc prompt#man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two#bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives#or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another#this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b#i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode#danny is the first son#tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand#Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it#Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to#them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad.#oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores#out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant#distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for#safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a#fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap#most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than#sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said#'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you'#danny doesn't know he's batman btw#starry rambles.#was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if#anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it#and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta
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She can never remember Doctor Baizhu's face, but Qiqi doesn't mind.
Her baba is so much more than just a face. To her, he is a warm hug, a gentle laugh, a source of endless kindness, and he smells like home.
#doodles#I just wanted to draw them but I didn't have the energy to embark on a full piece bc I'm using all my art energy on other projects#so doodles it is#I'm so very unwell about them#baizhu#qiqi#baizhu and qiqi#genshin impact#i'm all up in my feelings about them today leave me alone#i needed this serotonin#he can't pick her up ;-; but he can get down on the ground and hug her#my art
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u know what would be a cool genshin fic idea? isekai/transmigrated reader, but instead of appearing within the general timeline, you come into the genshin world 500 years prior to the start of the storyline in khaenri'ah.
honestly it could be either a little before the cataclysm, giving enough time to delve into some relationship building + explore some world building with characters like dainsleif, traveller's sibling (which would probably be lumine bc i actually do like her as abyss sibling & aether as traveller), and npcs like halfdan (still crying over him to this day ;w;) and possibly the khaenri'ahn royal guards (assuming you either join them or have a good enough relationship with them), OR it could be you appear during the crisis, completely and utterly lost as to why you were brought amidst the chaos and bloodshed as you watch everything you barely knew about this nation crumble before your very eyes.
either route will still result in reader's existential crises and constant "why am i here? just to suffer?" monologues because really, who would be fine after going through that after coming from /our/ world? and not to mention you've had to endure the next 500 years wandering with no real set path because you don't know this world— this era of teyvat or of genshin. you're merely stuck, unable to die, and forced to live a life of uncertainty with no clear direction for you to go to.
despite it all, you've at least been able to see dain during this course. while your meetings pass far too quickly for your lonesome, and his solemn demeanour is something you're yet to be accustomed to after having been with him before the fall of khaenri'ah (assuming it's the route where you appear before the cataclysm), you're glad to see a familiar face every now and then. after the messy departure with the lumine who left for the abyss order, you've come to appreciate his quiet presence more and more each time.
and then you decide it might be time to settle. you soon realise it's difficult to do so when your lifespan has become far more than that of a human's — of a mortal's — and so you find yourself becoming used to staying in one place for a few years before setting off for the next. rinse and repeat. over and over. it's come to a point where you've witnessed the nations undergo various changes each time you visit. you know change is inevitable, and yet your heart stings each time you witness it; a testament to how the world is ever-changing, yet you're stuck in place as a bystander.
one thing you're grateful for, however, are the bonds you've established amid your back-and-forth over the centuries. from archons like zhongli and venti to long-life beings such as neuvillette and the adepti to regular mortals who have showed you kindness as if one of their own... you've grown to cherish those memories, often reminiscing them when the nights get too long and surroundings too quiet. it was difficult at first, and still is, but you've become used to the inevitable change and the passing of those you once knew.
and after 500 years, you find yourself face-to-face with one you haven't seen since before you appeared in this world; the protagonist of this world, and the one you eventually join in hopes of finally finding a means to an end, aether.
little side notes/extras:
from /our/ world, you would probably know the storyline from up to around current (5.0) or maybe a little after the fontaine aq conclusion. it gives a lot to work with, but you definitely won't remember a lot of the lore after so long other than some main events, especially since most of your knowledge is pretty irrelevant for the next 500 years,,,
i think it would be cool if you had an inteyvat on your person as a little homage of khaenri'ah, which may or may not invoke some opinions from certain characters (*cough* aether immediately being reminded of lumine and having an existential crisis *cough*)
post-cataclysm you would go through a, uhm, long phase of helplessness, wondering why you were even brought to this world so far back if you couldn't even make any contributions. it does eventually morph into a resolution to do what you can to help those you come across if it's within your capabilities, but the nightmares and helplessness come back every now and then as a reminder for what you can't do :D yippee :D
honestly i'm on the fence whether you would have a vision or some other type of abilities (think on the similar lines of aether/lumine's and dain's), but i think having some type of purification mechanic would be a must in your arsenal !! would definitely lead to some moments between you and characters like dain or zhongli who suffer from the erosion as you give them a slight reprieve from what rages within and corrodes them
a little self indulgent, but i'd like to think your first /proper/ meeting with zhongli happens during a lantern rite festival, wherein you're admiring the lanterns in the sky after making a wish of your own and he comes up from behind with "they're beautiful, wouldn't you say so?" and !!
also as for love interests, as much as i would love for human/mortal characters, a part of me feels like this story would be better suited for the immortal/long-life characters as love interests?? idk i feel like considering that 500 years is, well, a long time, the bonds you would have with them compared to characters like, say, alhaitham or diluc would be way too different ?? though i would definitely still add them as love interest bc i am a sucker for so many of the human characters ;w; it would also add to the angst and hurt/comfort ahahha...
anyway thank you for reading this massive brain dump of a fic bc i absolutely would put this as a long term project, and if u made it this far then i would like to say that dain solos—
#sophie talks : concepts <3#dont mind me i am just in HEAVY brainrot over this genshin x reader concept bc OURGH??? THE POSSIBILITIES??? THE LORE??? THE RELATIONSHIPS?#also exploring dynamics with the immortals/those with longer lifespans like zhongli; the adepti; neuvillette; the archons in general; DAIN#and lumine; and maybe fatui... hehe.... AND AETHER TOO#omg imagine pierro trying to convince u to join him in the fatui after having finally tracked u down after the cataclysm bc of ur frequent#changes from nation to nation only for u to turn him down saying u dont wish for further damnation. he leaves u alone and u think he wont#pester u anymore until u see him years later again and again and again; him with the same question and u with the same answer#BUT ALSO KHAENRI'AH WORLD BUILDING/EXPLORATION BUT ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE WRITING A MEDIEVAL ROYAL AU RAAHHH#sir royal guard captain!dain interactions... the royal guards... adopted royal!lumine interactions bc ur just like her from another world#and tells u stories of her and aether & u grow closer and u travel with them before dain joins u both before the inevitable break up and#OMG WAIT MADAME PING DYNAMIC WHEN U BECOME FRIENDS WITH THE ADEPTI AND SHE JUST OFFERS U TEA AND A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON BC SHE KNOWS U SO WE#AND OHHHRHJFHJHGJF#cries. this fic would be a lot of emotional hurt/comfort and self acceptance for new life and reader will need a big fat long hug#anyway i will write this. one day. hopefully.
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there are just so many ways to say "i love you"
#i'm so emo about them i'm so sorry#THEY'RE JUST SO...#few3h#fe3h#edelthea#yes i had to sneak in that one quote from edelgard bc i can#i will always point it out that in the jpn ver of their a support edelgard actually says “you are irreplaceable.”#AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM? sobbing crying throwing up#i need them to leave me alone blease it's been five years i cannot go on like this#shut up val#dorogard#dorothea#edelgard
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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
#and there's something else in there about like ....#tbh once i got over something like 1k followers#i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON.#yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc#but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about#in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers#bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like#jesus christ lord almighty#every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me#each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!!#their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was#fucking cottagecore !!!!#like girlie this person needs THERAPY#again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc#bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this#and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!#aND THEY ARE!!!#something something something they know this content makes them money#they don't give a SHIT about u babe
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The Seer
Has a general outfit design! This,,, is for lore purposes bc LBD's plan finally goes right 💀 huzzah for her, ig. I wanted to go fancy w it but then I decided to keep it simple for the sake of my own sanity. Pls, I am a silly little guy. I'm drawing this fucker, I need my neurons to stay in place pls.
The Seer is stuck w her ass for a while. Because we literally never see her shit (where she lives, the dynamic the Spider Queen and her goons have, that kind of shit), I get to be silly w it.
Also here's more Seer stuff bc I'm trying to figure out how I want their personality to be LMAO
#Spindrax and Seer FOR SURE gossip with one another#Anytime Spider Queen and LBD start bickering they find each other#'What did she say this time?' 'That she needs to find a throne if she wants to talk shit.' 'DAMN.'#I KNOW SPINDRAX ISN'T CANON TO THE STORY BUT LEAVE ME ALONE#Syntax gets shit on often by them#Huntsman and Strong also get shit from Seer#Huntsman more than anyone else bc I think it's funny#Spider Queen doesn't say shit against Seer... to their face#YEAH. SEER KNOWS SHE SHIT TALKS THEM BUT LETS IT SLIDE BC LBD HUMBLES HER OFTEN#lmk y/n#lmk fanfic#lmk fanfiction#lmk fanart#lego monkie kid fanfic#lego monkie kid#y/n#lego monkie kid x y/n#lego monkie kid x reader#lmk x reader#Kroh's Art
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I open github. warning label: "heyy u only have 1 email address here we recommend more what if u lose ur account". I get an email, it's from github "hey dude did u notice u only have one two-factor authentication method we recommend setting those up bc what if u lose access to ur account". someone knocks at the door: "hey do u have a moment to talk abt our lord and savior github mobile app bc we noticed u don't have it we'd recommend it bc what if u lose access to ur account"
#istg like I've set up so many login things there bc it keeps bombarding me with ''but hey u don't have this thing tho''#like I don't rly need 5+ diff ways to log in thank u leave me alone#(tho sure like losing ur account would be pretty much the worst thing but I've got it covered stopppp)#(also no one yell at me to set them all up; github does that job very well)#codeblr#july 2024#2024
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Ride 749: The last Straight Road*
(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)
Pag 1
1: I....
3: Imaizumi-san!!
4: Go- good work!!
Good work!!
You were taking a long time for this lap
Pag 2
1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!
Yessir!!
2: It's the tire!!
4: Only tires can get a flat
Ah- damn, yes, that's right
Right!!
6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these
Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them
Pag 3
2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?
Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....
3: You don't want to use the,?
We'll use them, thank you so much!!
4: You saved us, teh....!!
That's true
6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san
Earlier you said that
7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?
Pag 4
1: He retired
Pag 5
1: He's still displayed on the board, but
3: There's still time until midnight
If Sugimoto-kun....
4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!
5: Onoda insisted
6: Re... tired.....
Sugi..... moto-san....
Pag 6
1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated
2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time
4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh
Huh!? That? So at that time-!?
5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things
As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years
6: Soon
Pag 7
1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools
Yeah, there's still 40km
2: If we join our strengths....
Don't cooperate
5: Teh!?
7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends
8: Huh....
Our “buddies” stickers.....!?
You have to fight
Pag 8
1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!
Pag 9
1: Fa.... ight....
2: Against.... Kinaka-kun
3: Against.... Rokudai
4: 35km left!!
Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!
Do your best...!!
5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!
Amazing!
Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?
Pag 10
1: Fight....
2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....
3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!
4: And also
5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!
Pag 11
1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san
But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....
2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?
4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto
5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know
Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other
6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal
7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day
8: So I think we need it
9: Our third year Inter High members
Pag 12
1: Definitely need a “first year”!!
3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be
4: He accepted it, and fought
Pag 13
1: For the fifth place
3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!
That's too much food
4: Danchiku probably understood it, too
That's why he fought with all his strength
6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!
7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength
Pag 14
1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!
2: Straaa-
Pag 15
1: Straight roaaad!!
2: - traight!!
3: …. ngh
Ugh.....
4: Kinaka-kun.....
5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!
Pag 16
1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!
If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!
2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!
To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!
3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!
So, for that....
6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!
Pag 17
1: But, Kinaka-kun....
It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!
4: You knee? It's your knee, right?
Since when? Since a while ago?
5: Since when we were at about 800km
Pag 18
1: It's a race, Rokudai
2: You should have told me, teh
I didn't notice, teh!!
3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....
4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race
6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race
7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore
So, once again...
Pag 19
1: It's a race, Rokudai!!
3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!
I can't, teh
4: Race me, pedal!!
I don't want to, teh....
5: Fight me!!
I won't pedal, teh
Pag 20
1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh
Pag 22
1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 749#the tags arent enough for the essay i want and need to write about this chapter#most painful chapter but also one of the best chapter of the whole manga imho#IVE BEEN CRYING SINCE YESTRDAY WTF WATANABE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES#YOU NEED TO PAY FOR MY THERAPY NOW#kinaka and roku's relationship is probably the most wholesome in the whole manga i love them so much#and this chap HURT SO BAD OH MY GOD#kinakaaaaa you're so strong for this ;A; the way he didnt want to tell roku about his knee bc he knew that roku would break#the way he even tried to provoke him to push him to race!! and he says he didnt want to lose against him again! but!!#He actually doesnt care about that anymore!!! hes just doing this for rokudai!!!#And rokuuuu!!! baby boy ;A; hes the purest boy ever!!! He didnt want to win like this against kinaka he didnt want to leave him behind ;A;#leave me alone im gonna cry forever ;A; (no actually dont leave me alone keep me company in my suffering plz)#page 21 is forever ingraved in my soul#even tho imaizumi told them not to cooperate in the end they did support each other until the last moment ;A;#(on a lighter not im happy that we finally have a reason for the race btwn sugimoto and danchiku - they both knew the team needed a first#year* so only one of them could be on the team)
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complete strangers keep asking me what happened to my foot (it is broken and I am on crutches) and it's actually getting so annoying so I'm going to start just making shit up. please let me know if you have any suggestions
#im thinking 'mosh pit got too crazy' and 'i was attacked by a small bear'#need more ideas#people like dont believe me when i tell them i just fell which i understand bc its ridiculous but thats what happened#yesterday the waiter at olive garden was annoying me so i just told him the full truth of how falling broke my foot which is really gross#i rarely tell people because its horrific sounding but if they wont leave me alone i will and they always regret asking
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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Feeding my sick as fuck baby bro some dope milk
#homestuck#bro strider#dave strider#epic galleria#well he's a baby but he's There#he's wearing a robe bc i didn't want to draw his fuckass arms okay i'm weak LEAVE ME ALONE. GO MY SCARAB#anyway listen. ik he's a jackass but i wanna believe that a small part of him Fucking Cared for dave. beyond the fact that it was his duty#still a jackass mind you but. beyond the manipulation; beyond the fact he's a Dirk. at least a fraction of his being had to CARE#he had to fuckin care for him despite all that. the urge to be close to him bc holy shit thats HIS kid. And he needs to survive#it's in the Strider nature to care so fucking much to the point that it eats them from the inside. are you listenin to me!!!!#gets on my knees & sobs. he had to. please#COUGHS. ANYWAY#for some reason i had the need to add some sorta shitty tan to his hands. stop wearing fingerless gloves motherfucker#you can barely see it 💥 but yeah it's there#also idk where i wanna put his scars so thats gonna be inconsistent forever i reckon
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just one of those days where i wish i'd be able to drink because today is a goddamn mess :']
#i hope he knows that no one is out to hurt or kill him#he just needs to recognize his fuckups and get proper help because he genuinely needs it#(not even like therapy. just literally anything to signify the want for improvement)#but seeing his recent posts aint giving me any hope#jfc man#also he needs to leave my moot alone i swear#sorry for the vent guys and sorry for the vague. i dont want to deal with him either bc i was a ex-moot of his before the bs back in novemb#*november#i hope he's safe and i hope my friend is safe. i dont want either of them to get hurt#[just me yapping]
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