#I need little victories
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Denim jacket came in the other day. It’s a hefty boy. Heavy heavy. Sleeves are kind of long, but I have nefarious plans for them, so it should work out. Stocked up on supplies. Big bucket. Big bleach. Armful of fabric dyes in varying shades of black and yellow. It’s been in the 100°s here, and I already sweat like a swamp beast. Strictly fall & winter wear. Plenty of time to make something garish and gauche. It’s a good distraction. My life is falling apart. I need good distractions.
#I have very little idea of what I’m doing but I like that#I like when people have no idea what they’re doing but they try to do it anyway#I’m hoping it at least makes it unique#it���s easy to think outside of the box when you have no idea what the box is#just let me get a little hyped for this please#my life right now is… not great#I need little victories#I spent last night cleaning and crying and I’m just so tired#I have no idea what I’m doing. in general. in life. right now. I’m lost.#no no this post is about a jean jacket#no moping allowed#I can’t wait to huff bleach in my tiny bathroom#I need a fucking hug#and weed. and sleep. and lots of affection. I can get one of those. the other two… blegh 🫤#I actually probably don’t need drugs and I couldn’t get any if I did. not unless I want to drive 3-4 hrs across state lines…#…which… I have thought a lot about this past week. I’m one bad day away from it I swear#I just… I can’t handle this. I can. but it’s hard. I just want to rest and not feel like my world is ending#Ian shut up#okay kisses#you can ignore this#text
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Charles has always left Edwin little notes slipped between the pages of his favorite books, in his science equipment, places he knows Edwin loves. Just silly things—post its that say “hi Edwin :)”. doodles of Edwin with his nose stuck in a book. reminders to stock up on wolfsbane. but.
Then, post canon, Edwin tentatively starts dating people. And it’s ridiculous, because Edwin’s right there, all the time, but Charles..misses him a bit. And his heads a mess, and he can’t sort out what the hell he’s feeling most of the time, and whenever he tries to say any of it out loud it comes out rubbish.
So. He writes down some of the shit he can’t say right, and because he’s a coward, hides them so he doesn’t have to see Edwin’s face when he reads them.
then Edwin starts writing back.
Neat lilac blue little envelopes appear in Charles coat pockets. In his bag. Once, in his shoe? Some nights, Edwin will clear his throat and mention something from a letter, offhand, like they’re just picking up conversation, and Charles can pretend they are. That they always have talked about the basement, the belt, the nameless fear that chokes him every time Edwin walks out the door with someone else on his arm.
Sometimes he can’t. The words get stuck in his throat. Edwin’s not mad, he’s maddeningly, stubbornly kind about it, which is worse.
Some nights they trade. A secret for a secret. Charles learns about the novels Edwin used to hide under his mattress, about all the lonely years before Charles got there. About Simon.
Meanwhile, Edwin is losing his mind, because Charles has accidentally stumbled onto what was a fucking courting ritual in his time. Love letters were something engaged couples treasured for years, kept and reread over and over. (Edwin does. keep them in a special box, will take one out and trace the words, tuck it in his breast pocket for courage).
Edwin would rather have to reattach a limb again than lose Charles trust, all the dark and beautiful things he shares with Edwin only. He knows—knows Charles doesn’t mean to make him fall more in love with him.
#payneland#dbda#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#mini fic#charles x edwin#chedwin#fic#anyone is welcome to write this!#maybe I will eventually once I crawl victorious from the mountain of my 10+ wips#either way I’m a strong believer in the 2 or more cakes principle#would love different peoples takes on this#UGH BUT JUST IMAGINE… Edwin being scared to date & try new things#reading over and over how Charles is scared too how he’s faking being brave most of the time.#keeping the letter over his heart for courage#(I do think Edwin should date people for a while because like. he’s hot! he never got to be a teenager!#let him kiss cute boys for a bit! realize there’s nothing wrong with him! become more confident! more centered!#maybe it makes Charles a little crazy! proud and possessive and confused horny!)#they have time! :) & sometimes you need to go on your solo journey so u can then become more freakishly codependent with your#work bestie husband ride or die twin flame in the future. yk
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giving victini bodyguards to protect him from ME.
#beartic is a woman. i need you all to know that#its VERY important#beartic#druddigon#victini#<-at least his dumb fucking ears bc these two are giants#victory star casino tag#my art#druddigon is more genuinely loyal of the two while beartic is just there bc she knows that#her little demon of an employer could make her life hell if she got on his bad side.
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walk with me... “you’re the one holding the knife” ... what if i said that shauna was always the more powerful one in the relationship? on one level because even back in the high school world all of jackie’s “successes” were hollow. her captaincy is undermined by tai and shauna scheming behind her back. her best friend feels stifled by her and secretly resents her. her picture perfect boyfriend has been fucking the aforementioned best friend on the down low. and what’s the common factor? SHAUNA. shauna is the literal shadow agent who is actually living out jackie’s successes. (of course, they’re kind of hollow successes for shauna too, cause pretty much all of them blow up in her face eventually. but still, it’s about jackie thinking those successes belong to her when shauna is actually benefiting from them)
and then there’s this whole other level that’s just between the two of them and relates to their power struggles specifically. at first glance it looks like jackie is in charge and shauna is just at the mercy of her whims. the classic popular girl and dorky sidekick dynamic. but if you look a little closer it becomes so obvious how dreadfully insecure jackie is and how totally devoted to shauna she is. what if jackie actually envies shauna more than shauna envies jackie? what if jackie would do anything shauna asks of her because she loves her that much? what if shauna is actually the leader and jackie is the follower? what if shauna was always the one holding the knife?
#IS THISSSS ANYTHINGGGGG??????#are these the deranged ramblings of a madwoman?#it probably needs to marinate a little more...consider it a first draft#also im sure a lot of this is derivative and im not the first to bring it up#like about jackie's victories being 'stolen' by shauna#or jackie being more devoted to shauna than shauna is to her#like i know im preaching to the choir lol#but i just wanted to try to bring it all back to that quote#yellowjackets
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Sometimes I'll just be going about my day and then I'll remember how drastically my brain chemistry changed when Fit said "if I had to choose between the two it'd be a dad" and how I've never been the same since
#qsmp#fitmc#one of my favourite qsmp clips ever#literally perfect#i remember how taken aback i was when he said that cause i genuinely didn't think qFit would ever get a canon sexuality#and the moment just after as well with Ramón being like i need a moment I'm so happy#🥹#i also felt a little bit of victory at that moment too if I'm to be completely transparent lmao#plenty of people hced and wrote fit as bi/pan before then but i always saw his character as fully gay#it's always fun to have a little i was right! moment#fitmc tag
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Softly, slowly, I want to love you anyway (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Loop#Isabeau#Siffrin#Sloopis Sloopis Sloopis#Top tier polyship heck yes#Poor Loop :'0 Give them love now!!!#Kinda-sorta inspired by my Loop fic - that transformation had to be difficult ;;#The ones with Isabeau are deffo more Star of Your Dreams tho <3 Isa's so sweet weh#Loop honey letting people in is like The Thing that will help The Most#Always deflecting giving outs letting people off the hook at their own expense :'( Pushing others away is easier than letting them see ;;#It's why Isa's such a good boy!! He genuinely wants to know to be close to see the real them - both of them!!!#It's work but it's worth it <3#And obviously Sif understands haha#If ever a pair needed some self-love it was these two like Sheesh#Loop still wouldn't make it easy hehe <3 They're just like that#It'd be so easy for Sif to accidentally hurt them and need to backtrack and it's worse because Loop would Get It#They understand each other so intrinsically and yet Sif still has - will always have - a victory that Loop never got to ;;#Even loving each other and sharing what they currently have it's still a painful reminder of what they left behind :'0 Loooop </3#They really are fun to draw hehe Loop's eyes are so pretty ♪ And actual sparkles on the dark gradient this time! Yes!#I debated whether I wanted their tears to be visible - blotted out by how bright their head is? But went with it for expression reasons#Gods can you imagine how beautiful their tears would be tho? Little prisms splitting up their white light#Although that would imply colour lol - I mean if Anyone Would have a bit of colour it Would be Loop sooooo#Hmngh love 'em
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One thing that I really like about Book 1 and the Epilogue is how they establish the game's main formula and themes (also a solid start for the story) while also adding a bunch of mysteries.
The first one that comes to mind is the mines and the phantom dwarves, but also Grim's Chimera form and Riddle's Overblot.
About Riddle's case, that's the only time where a victim's eyes change colour during an overblot, not to mention how he's being suspended by blot strings like a puppet.
While both elements can be justified due to their symbolism to Riddle's story (Idia being connected to his Phantom as a way to represent his grief, for example), or maybe just an early design choice that wasn't used with the other overblots, the fact still stands that this was the FIRST overblot we saw, at the QUEEN OF HEARTS dorm, in a game called Twisted WONDERLAND. Also Yana is great at foreshadowing.
With Book 7 bringing back the overblots, I can't help but wonder if those details will come into play in the story. Maybe we'll have to fight Riddle's overblot to free him from the strings so he can fight on his own, or the red eyes show that SOMEONE is watching and this can be the first time we meet the mastermind behind the overblots (we need something to worry about in Book 8, why not set up a final future boss right before the big Malleus fight)
Playful Land is also focusing on puppets, so there's that too...
#I just need the STYX folks to make an off-handed comment about how overblots with different eye colours are considered dangerous#maybe a higher mortality rate because the victim is almost losing themselves to the blot....#mastermind using Riddle's voice to give a speech akin to “enjoy your little victories because the war is FAR from over”#twst#twst spoilers#riddle rosehearts#just giving my two cents on the while “why are Riddle's eyes red” discussion
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Save me sleep deprived overworked woman, save me
#yulha#nikke#goddess of victory: nikke#gacha#I need her so bad#you don't understand#even tho I think her open crotch pants are a little funny#but also maybe that adds to her appeal#idk#she's hot and I need her carnally#she also likes to drink a lot so she's literally me frfr
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Since it’s Idris Elba’s birthday today, I’d like to repost this art piece of mine that I drew for Knuckles’ birthday back in February of last year!
Happy Birthday, Idris Elba! 💥🥊🥳🎂🎊🎉❤��
#idris elba#movie knuckles#knuckles the echidna#knuckles wachowski#sonic movie art#sonicmovie3hype#sonicmovie3#sonicmovie2#sonicmovie#my art#Happy 52nd Birthday Idris Elba!#happy birthday movie knux 💥🥊#sonic the hedgehog#sonic wachowski#movie sonic#miles tails prower#movie tails#tails wachowski#Idris Elba does an incredible job voicing him! My favourite voice actor we’ve ever gotten for Knuckles so far!#Plus he’s super quotable! For example “Dot Dot Dot Dot”#“SONIC! I’VE JUST BEEN TOLD THEY HAVE SPRINKLES!!!”#“I am having THE FUN!”#“AH! MY VICTORY CHARIOT!”#“do i look like i need YOUR power?”#“HOW DARE YOU ATTACK ME IN MY HOUR OF SORROW”#God bless Movie Knuckles since he’s the reason why the character is being taken seriously once again#still love this drawing btw 🥰 one of my favs!#“Birth of day isn't what I expected.”#he’s loving every moment#He's even got the little noise maker 😭😭
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i think i’m dying
#ffxiv#wol#ff14#fanart#ok since my azem borrows aspects from the goddess nike but gender instead the wings are necessary for the lore#nike statues have the spreading wings + arms as a form of favour/sign of sureness in victory#nikolaos loves all forms of competition and he’s a very speedy little guy he’s always running off somewhere#i need those wings it’s LORE COMPLIANT FOR MY AZEMWOL#i NEED wings#i’m going to tear them off that gayass turkey and that stupid lizard#IT WONT MAKE SENSE IF I DON’T HAVE IT#AND FOR A PIECE I HAVE WITH FUBZOZO AND NIKOLAOS#YOU ARE FAVOURED MR FUBZO#VICTORY IS AT HAND#BUT IM LOSING
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one day I’m actually going to grab everything I went through last year and pour it into a raritwi breakup fic where they don’t get back together and I don’t do my usual thing where I hint there’s hope for them
And I think that will probably be a very emotional and good fic but also it’ll probably be incredibly crushing more than anything Ive ever done so honestly maybe we should all be grateful I haven’t written it yet
#I’ve been listening to JP Saxe’s ‘A Little Bit Yours’#and i can feel it clawing at me#‘all i do is get over you and I’m so bad at it’#‘maybe if I’d said the right things it never would have gone this way’#‘but maybe that’s the problem cause I still kinda think it was up to me’#‘when I never could have made you stay’#rarity moves away from ponyville because everything is twilight#and she sees twilight just lock it out block it out put it away in a box and move on#and rarity can’t#and she tries#and tries#and a thousand miles away#in the dark of the night#the silence staring her down#she has to live with the idea that twilight got over her like that#that twilight probably already let go long long ago#and yet rarity is there knowing still she’d kill if twilight asked her to#and there’s no victory in that#no poetry or muse#no beauty#it’s just sad and pathetic and a masochism and so self centered#to cling to the hope that twilight still loves her or needs her when she knows it’s not true and it never will be#and the element of generosity wonders when her core got twisted#when generosity and caring and giving became erasing yourself for some pony else#and maybe one day it’ll stop#maybe one day she’ll be fine#but for now#she quietly makes peace with a simple fact#that even if twilight sparkle isn’t hers anymore and never will be again#at least for now rarity is still a little bit twilight’s
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Steve got the Cat Valentine treatment from the fandom. 😐
#cat went from being pretty alt with dark dyed red hair#a vague background that made her seem super mysterious#AND she just genuinely had a bit of a darker vibe#but by the time she was in Sam and Cat she was wearing only pastel fluffy dresses and long wave red hair#like they fucking lobotomized her#and i mean steve didnt have the same alt style as her but he's always been a bit of a bitch#and knows what he wants and how to get it#but the fandom treats him like he's a dumb little puppy who wears pastels and need eddie or robin to guide him through the world#just...#its kinda weird how people baby him#especially wjen he's one of the older and more mature characters#im like 99% sure its to make eddie or robin looker cooler and better next to him and its genuinely annoying#like sure he and cat were pretty dumb at times but that is NOT their only character traits#he's actually really strategic and caring as hell but all people write him as is some sumb pretty jock!#alright im done#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#steddie#cat valentine#victorious#sam and cat#also i didnt realize how shitty my spelling was in these tags very sorry
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Neon Genesis Evangelion is something everyone needs to watch after the election.
#neon genesis evangelion#evangelion#nge#rebuild of evangelion#it’s good therapy for those who are depressed and feeling nihilistic about Trump’s victory#Little worried about more antis joining the fandom but if it will help motivate people then I’ll live with it#Learn to love and take care of yourself while also accepting a need to grow and not expect everyone to give you validation#I can deal with more Reishin hate if it means pulling people out of depression and into action
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the line between ten's senses of selfishness and selflessness is very very thin because they both primarily stem from his sense of love (the thing he was born out of and the thing he lives and dies for). btw.
#not to make it about time lord victorious again but like#he is so sick of losing people (i can still save these people that need my help)#and he is so sick of losing people (i cannot bear the heartbreak for any longer and if i break history to alleviate myself of it so be it)#ten is suuch a little freak he is so wretched tragic protagonist in the body of a funny whimsy dude#experiencing heart rending loneliness that he bounces from wanting to escape from and wanting to cling to bc its all he has#this dichotomy is so important to me. he has a sense of love and grief so befitting a human but so unbefitting for a#near immortal alien destined to bring harm and destruction wherever they go.#thesis statement. hes . fuckin.. uh. trans and aroace for this one lol if you get it you get it ig#tenth doctor#dr who#my brain is melting over this LOSER why did david tennatn have to do all of that#10 era
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Had a huge cry, doubting all the options I've made and the impact it will make on my education in the future and my future in the long run.
Buuuuuut, I finally got a Logan cap so!!!🎉🥳🥳🥳🪅🪅🎊🎊🎈🎈🎈
#little victories#amongst massive amounts of pain and suffering#oh yeah#I havent figured out that first part btw#oops#logan sargeant#logan <3#ill tag him because people need to see the joy he causes
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Thinking about how aoki oji-chan is the only one who offered to get food with poppy after they won 🥺🤲
#taking a break from writing and waughhhhhh. they casted the jp seiyuus so wonderfully!!!! 😭💖 poppy is ADORABLE#like. she addressed omochiri with -chan too... little league princess privilege 🥺🥺🥺👏👏👏#the “uwaiiii tanoshimi!!!!” is ADORABLE 😭😭😭💖💖💖 larry totally has snacks for her stashed somewhere in his league hq office omg#idk if i'm imagining it but he actually sounds earnest with just poppy and kabu lmaooo 😭🤚 he sounds like he's about to Run from geeta and#meek with rika... it's absolutely Hilarious. i need to hear hassel scolding him in their victory lines KSHSKDJDKKD#honorable mention is poppy's “rika!!! next!!!” and rika's “hey! don't leave me!” JDHDKDJDK 😭😭😭😭😭😭#wackiest e4 dynamic... they're very dear to me 💖#elite four larry#gym leader larry#elite four poppy#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon masters ex#pokemon scarvi#scarvi#pokemas#pmex#paldea#pasio
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