#“SONIC! I’VE JUST BEEN TOLD THEY HAVE SPRINKLES!!!”

[afterlife-2004]

Since it’s Idris Elba’s birthday today, I’d like to repost this art piece of mine that I drew for Knuckles’ birthday back in February of last year!

Happy Birthday, Idris Elba! 💥🥊🥳🎂🎊🎉❤️

[taylor-on-your-dash]

Writing of 1989 Timeline

1989 changed Taylor's career forever. If Red had just sprinkles of pop sounds, 1989 was marketed as a pure pop album from the get-go.

While many fans and critics kind of expected that, it seems like:

Taylor didn't have a clear direction from the start (except for the cohesiveness): “I wanted it to be a sonically cohesive album, and it ended up really being the first I’ve done since Fearless. I also wanted the songs to sound exactly how the emotions felt. I know that’s pretty vague, so I really didn’t know where it was going to go, but I knew that I wanted to work with the collaborators I had such crazy electricity with on Red, like Max Martin. I wanted to do some things that sounded nothing like what we had done before.”

She knew that she didn't want another Red: “When people say that they like one of my albums, like when people told me that Red was their favorite album I'd done, I didn't take that as, 'So, I should make that again'. I took that as, 'Great, awsome, now I wanna make them like this new album just as much if not more than the last album.' But I want them to like it for different reasons.”

She was worried about the change of direction of her music: “I worry about everything. Some days I wake up in a mind-set of, like, ‘Okay, it’s been a good run.’ By afternoon, I could have a change of mood and feel like anything is possible and I can’t wait to make this kind of music I’ve never made before. And then by evening, I could be terrified of the whole thing again. And then at night, I’ll write a song before bed.”

October 17, 2012: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor writes This Love in LA. This will be the last song produced by Nathan Chapman and the only one recorded in Nashville.

“The last time I wrote a poem that ended up being a song, I was writing in my journal and I was writing about something that had happened in my life – it was about a year ago – and I just wrote this really really short poem. It said, 'This love is good /this love is bad / this love is alive back from the dead / these hands had to let it go free / and this love came back to me.' And I just wrote it down, closed the book and put it back on my night stand […] All of a sudden in my head I just started hearing this melody happen, and then I realized that it was going to be a song.”

Handwritten lyrics:

November 18, 2012: Taylor meets Jack Antonoff and his band, fun., for the first time in Frankfurt, Germany, while at the MTV Europe Music Awards. They bond over 80s music.

January 4, 2013: Taylor is seen in a boat without Harry Styles, ready to return to LA from the Virgin Islands.

She will wear the same dress in the Out Of The Woods music video (and also in Look What You Made Me Do)

January 10, 2013: Taylor tweets "Back in the studio. Uh oh...". She will confirm that the song was All You Had To Do Was Stay on October 27, 2014 on Tumblr.

Candids here;

“There’s a song on my album called 'All You Had To Do Was Stay.' I was having this dream, that was actually one of those embarrassing dreams, where you’re mortified in the dream, you’re like humiliated. In the dream, my ex had come to the door to beg for me to talk to him or whatever, and I opened up the door and I went to go say, 'Hi,' or 'What are you doing here?' or something — something normal — but all that came out was this high-pitched singing that said, 'Stay!' It was almost operatic. So I wrote this song, and I used that sound in the song. Weird, right? I woke up from the dream, saying the weird part into my phone, figuring I had to include it in something because it was just too strange not to. In pop, it’s fun to play around with little weird noises like that.”

January 11, 2013: Taylor is seen again at Conway Studios, likely to continue working on All You Had To Do Was Stay.

January 15, 2013: Taylor posts a picture of herself in the studio, with the caption "Somewhere in LA". She'll later reveal that she was writing How You Get The Girl.

“The song ‘How You Get The Girl’ is a song that I wrote about how you get the girl back if you ruined the relationship somehow and she won’t talk to you anymore. Like, if you broke up with her and left her on her own for six months and then you realize you miss her. All the steps you have to do to edge your way back into her life, because she’s probably pretty mad at you. So it’s kind of a tutorial. If you follow the directions in the song, chances are things will work out. Or you may get a restraining order.”

March 6, 2013: Taylor is seen going to a studio in LA.

March 23, 2013: Taylor posts a picture of herself playing guitar, which might mean that she was working on a new song: "Pre show. Columbia, South Carolina". This could be either Wonderland, New Romantics or a vault song.

May 27, 2013: While in Rhode Island for the Memorial Day weekend, Jack plays Taylor an instrumental track that will later become I Wish You Would.

“'I Wish You Would’ is a song that I wrote with Jack Antonoff and it was the first song we ever worked on together. I think, for this song, we wanted to create a sort of John Hughes movie visual with pining and, you know, one person’s over here and misses the other person but is too prideful and won’t say it. Meanwhile this other person is here and missing the same person; they’re missing each other but not saying it. And I had this happen in my life and so I wanted to kind of narrate it in a very cinematic way where it’s like you’re seeing two scenes play out and then in the bridge you’re seeing the final scene, where it resolves itself. So it says, 'It’s a crooked love in a straight line down, makes you wanna run and hide but it makes you turn right back around.’ It kind of is like that dramatic love that’s never really quite where it needs to be and that tension it creates.”

[Voice Memo Intro Transcript] “This is another way I’ve written songs recently. This is a song I did with Jack Antonoff, and Jack is one of my friends and so were hanging out and he pulled out his phone and goes ‘I made this amazing track the other day. It’s so cool, I love these guitar sounds.’ And he played it for me and immediately I could hear this finished song in my head, and I just said ‘Please, please let me have that. Let me play with it, send it to me.’ And so he sent it to me and I was on tour and this was me playing the track on my laptop recording me singing the vocal into my phone and it ended up being a song called 'I Wish You Would', because Jack wrote back and said ‘I love that’. So this is another way of writing, it’s writing to track.”

[Secret Sessions] “Taylor said that she wrote ‘I Wish You Would’ a couple of months after her and Harry Styles broke up, and they decided to become friends again and she said this was the first time she had become friends with an ex, to the point where they were comfortable enough to talk about why the relationship didn’t work out. She said he told her about how, after they broke up, he bought a house literally one road adjacent to hers. Every day he would drive home, and accidentally turn into her street, and he told her how he just wanted to stop at her house and see her, but he never did. She said this song is about while he was in the car making the decision to get out the car and see her, she was sitting in her bedroom, wishing he would make the move and go back to her and just pitch up at her house. She compared it to a classic John Hughes movie where both parties want the same thing but neither has the guts to say anything. Honestly, she spoke so fondly of that relationship.” [this is from a secret sessioner and therefore it should be taken with a grain of salt]

Between May 28 and June 2, 2013: Taylor writes I Wish You Would. She settled in Rhode Island basically all summer, so it's possible that she went to Jack's studio in New York by car without being seen and especially photographed, cause I couldn't find any pictures with the same outfit. Conway Studios are also credited but it's possible that she recorded background vocals there. Taylor was in LA in late August.

June 7, 2013: During an interview at the CMA Music Festival, Taylor confirms that she has started writing her next album.

[Transcript by me] “[The new album] is starting, all the anxiety is starting and when the anxiety starts, then the writing happens right afterward usually. I like to write for about two years before I'm finished with an album because at this point I kind of know that whenever I read in the first year is going to get away, because I'm going to like it but it's going to sound a little bit like the last project I had, and the second year usually ends up sounding like the next project. So I think at this point I feel like staying the same is the easy way to go but it's not the way that I want to go creatively. I think you need to challenge yourself, I think you need to change up your influences, I think you need to be inspired by different things that you've been inspired by before. It's harder to call people you don't know, it's harder to think of topics you haven't covered and think of new ways to say old emotions that everyone feels. I think one of the things that I'm happiest with in the last year is the acceptance level in country music for me experimenting and for me trying to evolve and challenge myself musically because I think it's never felt better to be on that stadium stage performing knowing that and so welcoming of change.”

July 13, 2013: After a show in New Jersey, Taylor has an interview with Rolling Stone, where she says that she has been writing a lot.

“The floodgates just opened the last couple weeks,” she says of the songwriting process. “I’m getting to that point where I’m irritating to be around because I’ll be with you for half the conversation and then the second half of the conversation I’m clearly editing the second verse of whatever I’m writing in my head. I really loved collaborating: you work with a lot of different people and you find the people you have this dream connection with in the studio. I know those people and I know the ones I want to go back to. But I also have a really long list of the people I admire and I would really love to go and contact. So that’s kind of where that is. I think that the idea of having a different approach to every single one of my albums is so exciting to me. I never want to make the same record twice. Why do it? What’s the point? It’s so overwhelming that when you’re starting a project there are such endless possibilities if you’re willing to evolve and experiment. If you’re willing to become a different version of yourself, you can really go anywhere with it. And that’s kind of where I am. The kind of the laboratory experimental stage of really catching onto a new thing that I’m liking.”

Somewhere around June and early September 2013: Taylor and Jack write Sweeter Than Fiction. No credits are available but we know that it's the second song on which Taylor and Jack worked, so that places it before I Wish You Would and Out Of The Woods.

In 2014, Lena Dunham (Jack's girlfriend at the time) posted this photo of Jack and Taylor working on the song at Jack's house.

September 15, 2013: Jack completes the instrumental track that will later become Out Of The Woods, after his show was cancelled.

[Jack Antonoff] “When I did the track for Out of the Woods, which is a Taylor song that I'm really proud of, there was some issue at a venue and our show was canceled that night and I didn't have my stuff, I had left it on the bus, so I only had these old samples on what was on my laptop, and caught up that 'oh oh'' thing, and I only had one drum kit on there, and these dumb little things sometimes turn into a great song.”

Somewhere around September and October 2013: Taylor writes Out Of The Woods.

Voice memo here;

[Jack Antonoff] Although Antonoff and Swift shared studio time for some of their other 1989 songs while working throughout 2014, “Out of the Woods” was completed as a long-distance collaboration. “She’s very natural -— when she gets an idea, it just happens very quickly. I would send her these tracks, and when an idea would happen, we’d be 5,000 miles apart or whatever, but she would start emailing me these voice notes like crazy and it would just be happening so quickly that there’d be this excitement. There’s a frantic feeling in the song,” he says. “What’s interesting about ‘Out of the Woods’ is that it doesn’t really let up. It starts with a pretty big anthemic vocal sample that’s me, and then there’s a drum sample that kicks in that’s kind of huge, and then you don’t really know how you’re going to get any bigger, but then the chorus hits and it just explodes even larger. And then the bridge hits, and it gets even more huge.“When I was working on the track, I was thinking a lot about My Morning Jacket,” Antonoff continues, “and how everything they do, every sound is louder than the last, and somehow it feels like everything is just f—ing massive. And that’s the feeling that I went for. It started out big, and then I think the obvious move would have been to do a down chorus, but the idea was to keep pushing.” Antonoff is excited to share the rest of his work with Swift on 1989, but he views “Out of the Woods” as a highlight on the project. “This song means a great deal to me. On a production level, on a writing level, Taylor’s lyrics and her melodies — there’s something very important about this song.”

[Jack Antonoff] “After 'I Wish You Would' and 'Sweeter Than Fiction', we did 'Out Of The Woods'. So it was the third thing we worked on together, and probably the easiest. I sent her the track for it, and she sent back a voice note with the verse and chorus in what felt like five seconds. And it was just perfect. It's eerie how similar it is to what the final product is.”

“It kind of conjured up all these feelings of anxiety I had in a relationship where everybody was watching, everybody was commenting on it. You’re constantly just feeling like, ‘Are we out of the woods yet? What’s the next thing gonna be? What’s the next hurdle we’re gonna have to jump over?’ It was interesting to write about a relationship where you’re just honestly like, ‘This is probably not gonna last, but how long is it gonna last?’ Those fragile relationships... It doesn’t mean they’re not supposed to happen. The whole time we were having happy memories, or crazy memories, or ridiculously anxious times, in my head it was just like, ‘Are we okay yet? Are we there yet? Are we out of this yet?’”

“That line is in there because it's not only the actual, literal narration of what happened in a particular relationship I was in, it's also a metaphor. 'Hit the brakes too soon' could mean the literal sense of, we got in an accident and we had to deal with the aftermath. But also, the relationship ended sooner than it should've because there was a lot of fear involved. And that song touches on a huge sense of anxiety that was, kind of, coursing through that particular relationship, because we really felt the heat of every single person in the media thinking they could draw up the narrative of what we were going through and debate and speculate. I don't think it's ever going to be easy for me to find love and block out all those screaming voices.”

October 21, 2013: Sweeter Than Fiction is released. Big Machine was originally not on board with the release since they wanted a dormant period between album releases.

Late 2013: Taylor writes Bad Blood, after Katy Perry announces her Prismatic World Tour.

“For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends,or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?’ Then last year, the other star crossed a line. She did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it.”

“That was about losing a friend... But then people cryptically tweet about what you meant. I never said anything that would point a finger in the specific direction of one specific person, and I can sleep at night knowing that. I knew the song would be assigned to a person, and the easiest mark was someone who I didn’t want to be labeled with this song. It was not a song about heartbreak. It was about the loss of friendship.”

October 20 to 22, 2013: Taylor is in Cape Town (South Africa) shooting The Giver. One of the members of the cast is Alexsander Skarsgård. He is said to have inspired Wildest Dreams (or at least he's the most popular theory, as far as I know), because the music video is set in Africa and it features Clint Eastwood's son Scott as love interest, just like Alexsander is actor Stellan Skarsgård's son, but we don't actually know more about the song.

“I think the way I used to approach relationships was very idealistic. I used to go into them thinking, ‘Maybe this is the one – we’ll get married and have a family, this could be forever’. Whereas now I go in thinking, ‘How long do we have on the clock – before something comes along and puts a wrench in it, or your publicist calls and says this isn’t a good idea?’”

Note: Selena Gomez was present when Taylor wrote this song.

Handwritten lyrics:

November 19, 2013: Taylor records Blank Space. This is based on the wall behind her on an Instagram post from this day, the credits, and the behind the scenes clip.

Voice memo here;

Behind the Scenes here;

“Every few years, the media finds something they unanimously agree is annoying about me. 2012-2013 they thought I was dating too much, because I dated two people in a year and a half. ‘Oh, a serial dater. She only writes songs to get emotional revenge on guys. She’s a man-hater, don’t let her near your boyfriend.’ It was kind of excessive and at first it was hurtful, but then I found a little bit of comedy in it. This character is so interesting, though. If you read these gossip sites, they describe how I am so opposite to my actual life: I’m clingy, and I’m awful, and I throw fits, and there’s drama. An emotionally fragile, unpredictable mess. I painted a whole picture of this character. She lives in a mansion with marble floors, she wears Dolce & Gabbana around the house, and she wears animal print unironically. So I created this whole character and I had fun doing it.”

November 21, 2013: While at the American Music Awards, Taylor tells Billboard that she has around seven or eight songs ready.

[Transcript] “We got a lot already,” says Swift. “There are probably seven or eight songs that I know I want on the record. It’s really ahead of schedule for me. I’m just stoked because it’s already evolved into a new sound, and that’s all I wanted. And I would have taken two years to make that happen, but it just kind of happened naturally, so that’s all I could really ask for.”

December 2013: Taylor meets Diane Warren and they write Say, Don't Go.

[Diane Warren to Rolling Stone] Warren, who typically writes on her own, says the two of them “sat down and wrote the song,” which was released Friday as one of 1989 (Taylor’s Version)‘s vault tracks, “from scratch” during the last few days of 2013. She remembers being impressed with how specific Swift was with her lyricism and how considerate she was about how her fans might receive it. “She was very particular about how she said certain things. It was a really interesting experience. She gets her audience,” Warren says. “She’s deeply aware of how her fans want to hear something. I can’t explain it, but that’s probably why she’s the biggest fucking star in the world.”

2013: Taylor writes New Romantics and Wonderland. Not much is known about these songs, except that they were both written in 2013.

[About New Romantics] “People will say, 'Let me set you up with someone', and I’m just sitting there saying, ‘That’s not what I’m doing. I’m not lonely. I’m not looking.’ They just don’t get it. I’ve learned that just because someone is cute and wants to date you, that’s not a reason to sacrifice your independence and allow everyone to say whatever they want about you. I’m not doing that anymore. It’d take someone really special for me to undergo the circumstances I have to go through to experience a date. I don’t know how I would ever have another person in my world trying to have a relationship with me, or a family.”

New Romantics handwritten lyrics:

Wonderland Handwritten lyrics:

January 1, 2014: Taylor records Say, Don't Go.

[Diane Warren to Rolling Stone] Several days after writing the song together, they got into Warren’s office to record a demo, where Swift played it on her acoustic guitar. “We demoed it on New Year’s Day. And I’m a workaholic, and that’s fine for me,” she says. “But I remember being impressed that she did, too. Everybody’s on vacation, but she showed up.”

January 6, 2014: Taylor decides to look for a house in New York.

[Lover Journal] LA. So I've decided I want to look at places in New York. I know I went through this phase months ago, but it has to mean something that i've circled back to it, right? You know what they say, if you love something let it go and if it comes back... blah blah blah. so I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. Dating is awful. Love is fiction/ a myth. I'm over it all.

January 21, 2014: Taylor sends Ryan Tedder the I Know Places Voice Memo.

January 22, 2014: [From the 1989 Booklet] Taylor and Ryan finish and record I Know Places.

“I had this idea of like, when you’re in love, along the lines of 'Out of the Woods’, it’s very precious, it’s fragile. As soon as the world gets ahold of it, whether it’s your friends or people around town hear about it... it’s kind of like the first thing people want to do when they hear that people are in love is just kind of try to ruin it. I kind of was in a place where I was like, ‘No one is gonna sign up for this. There are just too many cameras pointed at me. There are too many ridiculous elaborations on my life. It’s just not ever gonna work.‘ But I decided to write a love song, just kind of like, ‘What would I say if I met someone really awesome and they were like, hey, I’m worried about all this attention you get?’ So I wrote this song called ‘I Know Places’ about, ‘Hey, I know places we can hide. We could outrun them.’ I’m so happy that it sounds like the urgency that it sings.”

January 23, 2014: Taylor and Ryan Tedder write Welcome To New York. Ryan produces a demo in three hours. This demo is the one included in the album.

“I wanted to start 1989 with this song because New York has been an important landscape and location for the story of my life in the last couple of years. I dreamt and obsessed over moving to New York, and then I did it. The inspiration that I found in that city is hard to describe and to compare to any other force of inspiration I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s an electric city.”

[Ryan Tedder] “I thought we were going to walk in and start something from scratch because that's what I was used to. Then she calls me and says, 'Is it cool if I already have an idea?' I said, 'Sure.' She said, 'I have this song, I'm obsessed with New York and I just moved there, I want to write an ode to New York because no one's done it in a long time.' And then she sent me a voice memo. She's like, 'I want it to sound like the 1980s.' So the next day I brought in a Juno-106, which is a very 1980s keyboard, and I literally programmed that entire song right in front of her. It was very much on the fly, and that song was done in about three hours. And I did the rest of the production I think later that week.”

Handwritten lyrics:

January 26, 2014: Night of the 56th Grammy Awards. Taylor delivers a legendary performance of All Too Well, but loses the Album Of The Year Award to Random Access Memory by Daft Punk. This will prompt Taylor to make a "sonically cohesive" pop album.

[Lover Journal] January 25th. LA. It's the middle of the night and I was at the Clive Davis Party tonight which means... the Grammys are tomorrow. Never have I felt so good about our chances. Never have I wanted something as badly as I want to hear them say 'Red' is the Album of the Year.

“It was the night of the Grammys this year. I remember going home and playing a lot of the new music I had recorded for some of my backup singers and one of my best friends. We were all sitting in the kitchen and I was playing them all this music, and they were just saying, ‘You know, this is very eighties. It’s very clear to us that this is so eighties.’ We were just talking and talking about how it’s kind of a rebirth in a new genre, how that’s a big, bold step. Kind of starting a part of your career over. When they left that night, I just had this very clear moment of, ‘It’s gotta be called 1989.’”

“I woke up one morning at 4 a.m. and I decided the album is called 1989. I’ve been making ‘80s synth pop, I’m just gonna do that. I’m calling it a pop record. I’m not listening to anyone at my label. I’m starting tomorrow. I liked the idea of collaborating. But with 1989 I decided to narrow down the list. It wasn’t going to be 10 producers, it was going to be a very small team of four or five people I always wanted to work with, or loved working with. And Max Martin and I were going to oversee it, and we were going to make a sonically cohesive record again.”

January 2014: Taylor writes You Are In Love. This is actually speculation but it's based on (1) Taylor going to NY in early January and (2) Jack Antonoff confirming that it was the fourth song they did and (3) it's the only Antonoff-produced song that is copyrighted in 2014. Based on the credits, I'm pretty sure that Taylor and Jack worked on the song separately, with Jack recording the instrumental at the Jungle City Studios in NY (which is a studio that Jack used in 2014 to record Bleachers' first album Strange Desire) and Taylor recording the vocals at Conway Studio in LA.

“I wrote it with my friend Jack Antonoff who’s dating my friend Lena. Jack sent me this song, it was just an instrumental track he was working on and immediately I knew the song it needed to be. And I wrote it as a kind of commentary on what their relationship has been like. So it’s actually me looking and going, ‘This happened and that happened, then that happened and that’s how you knew you are in love.’”

“I’ve never had that, so I wrote that song about things that Lena Dunham has told me about her and Jack Antonoff. That’s just basically stuff she’s told me. And I think that that kind of relationship — God, it sounds like it would just be so beautiful — would also be hard. It would also be mundane at times.”

“We first worked on that song together and realized we kind of have a good thing, and the next thing we did was ‘Sweeter Than Fiction,’ which was on the [One Chance] soundtrack, and after that we did ‘Out of the Woods’ and another song called ‘You Are in Love.’

January 26, 2014: At the Grammy's, Diane Warren reveals that she and Taylor wrote a song together (aka Say, Don't Go).

[Transcript] “I worked with Taylor Swift on a great song. I don't even know what she's done [for her next album], I'm excited about the one that we did, it's pretty cool.”

[Billboard 2016 Interview] “I know [Swift] likes it, so hopefully it will see the light of day. I know she really likes the song. She didn’t want me to give it away, so hopefully that means she wants it.”

February 9, 2014: [From the 1989 Booklet] While in London, during the European leg of the Red Tour, Taylor and Imogen Heap write Clean in just 9 hours at Imogen's home studio. Taylor will sing the song just two times.

Voice memo here;

“'Clean' I wrote as I was walking out of Liberty in London. Someone I used to date – it hit me that I’d been in the same city as him for two weeks and I hadn’t thought about it. When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well’. And nothing else. And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day, and planning fun dinner parties, and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. The first thought that came to my mind was – I’m finally clean.”

“'Clean' is the last song on the album for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it felt like the complication of this emotional process I’ve been going through for the last couple of years. You know, I feel like my personal life was really, really discussed, and criticized, and debated, and talked about to a point where it made me feel almost kind of tarnished, in a way. And the discussion wasn’t about music. It broke my heart that I had made an album that I was proud of, and I was touring the world, and playing sold-out stadiums, and still they managed to only want to talk about my personal life. At a certain point I felt a switch and it was at the end of recording this album that I began to feel like my life was mine again and my music was at the forefront again. I was living my life on my own terms and I really no longer cared what people were saying about me. That was when I started so see people talk less about the things that didn’t matter.”

“I had this metaphor in my head about being in this house, there’s been a drought but you feel like there’s a storm coming. Instead of trying to block out the storm you punch a hole in the roof and just let all the rain come in, and when you wake up in the morning, it’s washed away.”

[Imogen Heap] “We met at my studio in London. She had the bare bones of “Clean.” She had the lyric, the chorus and the chords. I thought it was brilliant.I was really writing the tiniest amount just to help her do what she does. I put some noises, played various instruments on it, including drums, and anytime she expressed she liked something I was doing, I did it more. It was a really fun day. She recorded all her vocals during that one session. She did two takes, and the second take was it. We always thought she would probably re-record it, because we thought it can’t possibly be that easy. But after we lived with it for a few months, we felt it was great. I knew she loved it. She said she loved it and her mum loved it. But I wasn’t sure it would be included on the album. But everyone felt it had something special. It came together really magically.”

Imogen's detailed blog entry about this songwriting session.

[Taylor about Imogen Heap] “The coolest thing about Imogen for me was that there was no one else in the studio. There was no assistant; there was no engineer. It was her doing everything.”

February 11, 2014: Taylor gets a haircut. (I'm including this for funsies)

February 15, 2014: Taylor, Max Martin and Shellback write Shake It Off.

Voice memo here;

[Lover Journal] LA. This week I've been in the studio with Max and Johan every day and it has been the most creatively successful and fulfilling time. The first day, Johan just made a really up tempo drum beat because we decided we needed something up and light. We worked at it for a few hours before i just started singing "shake it off, shake it off, shake it off" And then the best way i know how to describe it is that the chorus just fell out of the sky. It ended up being this song about doing your own thing even though haters are gonna hate, and you just have to dance to your own beat. We all went home and I wrote the first and second verses and brought them in the next day. We wrote this chanty cheer leader bridge that I absolutely LOVE. We spent all day doing vocals and the next day recording the background vocals. I think it'll end up being the first single and Max said it's his favorite song he's ever been a part of.

[Max Martin during the lawsuit] “Shellback started out with a drumbeat. Shellback, Taylor, and I then collaboratively developed the melody and other lines of ‘Shake It Off’ to Shellback’s drumbeat. I did not write or provide any input into any lyrics in ‘Shake It Off,’ which were written entirely by Taylor.”

“I've had every part of my life dissected – my choices, my actions, my words, my body, my style, my music. When you live your life under that kind of scrutiny, you can either let it break you, or you can get really good at dodging punches. And when one lands, you know how to deal with it. And I guess the way that I deal with it is to shake it off.”

“The message in the song is a problem I think we all deal with and an issue we deal with on a daily basis. We don’t live just in a celebrity takedown culture, we live in a takedown culture. People will find anything about you and twist it to where it’s weird or wrong or annoying or strange or bad. You have to not only live your life in spite of people who don’t understand you, you have to have more fun than they do.”

February 19, 2014: Taylor, Max Martin, Shellback and Ali Payami write Style. This is the last song made for the album.

“I loved comparing these timeless visuals with a feeling that never goes out of style. It's basically one of those relationships that's always a bit off. The two people are trying to forget each other. So, it's like, 'All right, I heard you went off with her, and well, I've done that, too.' My previous albums have also been sort of like, 'I was right, you were wrong, you did this, it made me feel like this' – a righteous sense of right and wrong in a relationship. What happens when you grow up is you realize the rules in a relationship are very blurred and that it gets very complicated very quickly, and there's not a case of who was right or who was wrong.”

“This song is about those relationships that are never really done. You always kind of have that person, that one person who you feel might interrupt your wedding and be like, ‘Don’t do it cause we’re not over yet.'”

[Guitarist Niklas Ljungfelt] “I played on “Style,” a song I started with Ali Payami for ourselves. He was playing it for Max Martin at his studio; Taylor overheard it and loved it. She and Max wrote new lyrics. But I recorded the guitar on it before it was a Taylor song. It was an instrumental. I didn’t have a clue that Taylor would sing on it. The inspiration came from Daft Punk and funky electronic music.”

1989 is officially done!

[Taylor On Ryan Seacrest] “I'm pretty sure after we finished this one I knew the record was done. Shake It Off and Style were the last two songs to be written for 1989.”

February 19, 2014: While on tour, Ryan Tedder produces another three versions of Welcome To New York.

[Ryan Tedder interview] “I was in Switzerland on a tour bus, and I did four versions of 'Welcome to New York,' one of which I liked personally more, but the thing about artists is they become very obsessed with the demo. She was in love with the demo so no matter how hard I fought, she brought it back to the demo, so really what you hear is what I did on the first day.”

March 22, 2014: Billboard reports that Taylor and Ryan Tedder have worked together in LA in January

March 24, 2014: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor moves to New York.

[Lover Journal] So in the last few weeks, I've completely moved into my apartment in Tribeca. That's right, I'm writing this from my new bed in my new place, watching Law and Order with Meredith. Strangely, I've never felt more busy.

May 1, 2014: 1989 Photoshoot (I got this date from an insider)

May 29, 2014: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor chooses another photo for the cover, after having a nightmare of the previous one being not enough.

May 30, 2014: Taylor chooses the album cover.

[Lover Journal] Shanghai. So we got to China at around 2pm and I knew it would completely ruin me if I slept when i got to the hotel, so I decided to work out. WHY IS THIS PEN RUNNING OUT?! Just went to my purse and got my pen. So a crazy story unfolded in the last 24 hours. Last night, I had this vivid dream where the photo I'd chosen for the album cover wasn't good enough, intriguing enough, artful enough. it woke me up. I couldn't shake it and it stayed with me all day. Because that nagging feeling I'd been pushing back for weeks was now confirmed in my gut... it wasn't good enough. I went to the venue, mind racing, wandering if I'd have to do an entirely new photo shoot... I got to my dressing room with newer versions of the "cover" I looked at it and felt nothing. The team pulled up this new scanned file of the polaroids we had taken during the shoot. I saw it within 10 seconds. The shot. The cover. It's a polaroid of me sitting against a beige wall with a blue seagull sweatshirt on. You can see my red lips but the photo cuts off my eyes. For some reason unknown to me it's the most intriguing photo i've seen. I think it's the mystery of not seeing my eyes. Maybe it just looks effortlessly cool. The craziest moment came when something caught my eye. The cover photo is photo 13. I kid you not. I played a sold out show in Shanghai tonight and the crowd was amazing. Tomorrow we go to Tokyo, where they'll have the whole ticker tape parade at the airport. Smile and wave...

Mid To Late 2014: Taylor and Jack write Now That We Don't Talk.

[Tumblr Music] "Now That We Don't Talk is one of my favorite songs that was left behind. It was so hard to leave it behind, but I think we wrote it a little bit towards the end of the process, and we couldn't get the production right at the time. But we had tons of time to perfect the production this time, and figure out what we wanted the song to sound like, and I just think it's, I think it's the shortest song I've ever had. I think it packs a punch. I think it really goes in for the short amount of time we have, I think it makes its point."

Conclusive notes

What 1989 represented for Taylor:

“The 1980s was a very experimental time in pop music. People realized songs didn't have to be this standard drums-guitar-bass-whatever. We can make a song with synths and a drum pad. We can do group vocals for the entire song. We can do so many different things. And I think what you saw happening with music was also happening in our culture, where people were just wearing whatever crazy colors they wanted to, because why not? There just seemed to be this energy about endless opportunities, endless possibilities, endless ways you could live your life. And so with this record, I thought, 'There are no rules to this. I don't need to use the same musicians I've used, or the same band, or the same producers, or the same formula. I can make whatever record I want.'”

“In the past, I've written mostly about heartbreak or pain that was caused by someone else and felt by me. On this album, I'm writing about more complex relationships, where the blame is kind of split 50–50 ... even if you find the right situation relationship-wise, it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work.”

Bonus: Secret Messages

Author's note: I wrote this timeline around 2 years ago. While I found some dates later on, this is 100% my research. If you use this timeline for your posts, research or whatever, PLEASE, credit me! I'd be very thankful. This is 2 years of work.

Links to my other Timelines:

Writing of Fearless Timeline

Writing of Speak Now Timeline

Writing of Red Timeline

My Spreadsheet with a timeline overview

Credits:

Most of the quotes have been copy-pasted from Taylor Swift Switzerland.

Taylor Swift Pictures for the candids.

Heather from Nerdy by Nature for the WTNY handwritten lyrics picture.

[chaoxgardens]

An In-Depth Analysis of Sonilver in Sonic 06 (with some other media sprinkled in)

Sonilver is a pairing very near and dear to my heart, but exclusively when it comes to their “rival era” of sorts. (Aka earlier iterations of Silver, primarily Sonic 06)

I believe that they shine best when they have their own goals and either 1: clash heads or 2: team up, depending on if their goals align or not. But we’ll get to that in more detail later. Let’s get to it, shall we?

—————————————

There’s a real irony to their dynamic in this game that I’ve never seen discussed online before. As we all know, Sonic is pretty much the main force or “bringer” of justice in the Sonic universe. I’ll go into more detail about Sonic himself at a later date, but regardless the universe would probably be utterly fucked without the blue blur.

Silver has no prior knowledge of Sonic’s achievements or ideals because he’s from 200 years in the future, and Sonic would be long-gone at that point. (In any canonical sense at least) All he knows about the guy is what Mephiles has told him, that he’s the Iblis Trigger who must be killed to restore peace to his future. Silver then convinces himself it’s okay to kill Sonic because it will bring the justice that his future deserves, even if he has to kill a man (hedgehog) to do it. Ironic, huh? Silver must kill the blinding blue light of justice himself to get the justice he wants for his future.

Even as he meets Sonic in person and gets glimpses of his true nature, (through his own confrontations with Sonic and his allies that defend him) he doubles down and gets more aggressive, believing he MUST be right.

I believe Silver’s sense of pride and stubbornness tends to get overlooked and people instead cling onto the term Naive like a lifeboat, but that’s for another time.

When Silver learns the true story of Mephile’s deceit and Sonic’s nature, that pride and stubbornness prevents him from a proper apology, and he instead pulls the “Circumstances have changed” card. (I love that aspect of his character by the way)

Sonic isn’t the kind of guy to hold grudges, so he quickly forgives him and they become allies. Despite my love for their rivalry, I think this shift to allies works well in 06. Their mutual respect and Silver taking the initiative to carry on when Sonic “dies” is really heartwarming and contrasts well with their earlier interactions. Now, since this is Sonic 06, none of this actually happened technically, and they forget about they had ever met. The angst is real and I love it!

—————————————

Maybe I’ll go more in depth with the Sonic Rivals series at a later date but I’ll give the basics to further my point. Sonic rivals continues their rivalry (hence the name) and has them meet again having no prior knowledge of eachother. The two butt heads as they both try to find Eggman Nega individually, but they eventually set aside their differences and work together when it suits the situation best.

The same thing happens in Sonic Rivals 2 despite their prior team up and their rivalry becomes more competitive than antagonistic. I think this shift between rival or allies depending on the situation is the pinnacle of Sonilver (as is any other pairing in Sonadilver). It highlights their individual ideals and goals while also showing their similarities and sheer ability to thrive as a team.

—————————————

Unfortunately as the years have gone by their rivalry has been watered down to a more palatable allyship with some occasionally teasing. This is mostly due to IDW, but I’ll be here for hours if I discuss all my gripes with that comic series.

Instead, I’ll just say that while I find the teasing endearing, I missed their initial resolve to solve things on their own before working together when they must. I just feel like there’s a lot more flavor and intrigue to that angle that compliments both of their characters better. Regardless, there’s nothing I can do about that. I’ll just continue to wish for my Sonilver beef on a silver platter without an expectation of change.

—————————————

Now you may be asking, okay we get it. They have a cool dynamic, but how do you think a romance between the two would play out? You see, the funny thing is that I don’t want them to become romantic. Sure they might have some hidden not so platonic feelings that they will continue to suppress for eternity (I’m more a queerplatonic shipper myself) , but to try to force them into the standard romantic relationship would absolutely destroy what makes their dynamic so interesting in the first place.

Of course, if you do enjoy romantic Sonilver all the power to ya’, (Sonic and Silver characterizations are so consistent from game to game anyways that it’s nearly impossible to be wrong.) but I personally just don’t see the appeal of putting them in that sort of relationship considering the dynamic I enjoy best.

—————————————

Feel free to comment or DM if you have anything to add, I’d love to hear your opinion regardless if you agree with me or not. Let’s just all be civil, alright?

Also as a little addition, I’ve added a song that I think fits my ideal Sonilver dynamic to a T.

- Jay🦔‼️

[sonicforces]

“Sonic, I’ve just been told they have sprinkles!”

[crusherthedoctor]

Alright, Crusher. Let's open a can of worms here. What are your top 5 favourite Sonic games in order, and what do you like about them? I'm really curious as for as long as I've been following you, you've only mainly focused on the bad aspects of Sonic, both the games and the fandom, both new and old.

I'd say I give praise to the things I like more often than you give me credit for. Yes, I've criticised IDW and the Twitter/YouTube community a lot, but have you not seen all of my posts relating to the movie? :P

Still, any opportunity to gush about the good is appreciated, so here we go. Note that these lists tend to slightly change depending on the day and mood, and this one is no exception. Also note that I actually like a lot of Sonic games, so it's never easy to narrow it all down to five.

1. Sonic Mania - It's a very close call between this and #2 below, but Mania edges out just that little bit more due to the additions of Mighty and Ray, the gorgeous graphics, Tee Lopes' fantastic compositions, the Hard-Boiled Heavies, the brilliant reimaginings of old zones alongside the equally amazing new ones, and the clever Easter Eggs and little references sprinkled throughout the entire thing. A gargantuan amount of love was put into this game, and it shows and paid off handsomely.

2. Sonic 3 & Knuckles - Sonic 1 and 2 are great, but the one that gave us the & Knuckles meme will always be my favourite in the Genesis trilogy. Sonic 3 - the full Sonic 3 - makes it very clear from the moment Sonic jumps off the Tornado that it's a step up from the first two not just in gameplay, but presentation as well. For that reason, I guess you could also say it has my favourite “story” out of all the games, since due to the more cinematic nature of the game, Eggman really gives it his 110% from start to finish, without getting fucked over at any point. It's a simple yet grand adventure to stop the Death Egg from relaunching, and I always have a blast with it.

3. Sonic Adventure 1 - This is a game that I like more and more as time goes on. I used to enjoy it enough, but wasn't super impressed with it, to the point of putting it and SA2 in the same rank. But since then - possibly due to comparing it more thoroughly with SA2 and other 3D installments - I started to appreciate so many details great and small. Despite kicking off the alternate gameplay schtick, everyone not named Big is still fun to play as (and even Big honestly isn't that bad, since you can complete his story very quickly). Its soundtrack is one of my absolute favourites in any video game, and despite how aged the graphics may be nowadays (and the downright hilarious character animations), the environments are still really lush and retain a whimsical edge. Chaos also remains the best of the giant monsters, though that’s hardly a difficult feat when looking at the competition.

4. The Sonic Advance trilogy - Cheating, but it is my top five after all. The first and second installments were the first Sonic games I saw and played respectively, but even putting nostalgia aside, they hold up as solid titles on the GBA, with some of the best music and graphics on the system. The third one is more flawed due to the occasionally weird level design and some other design choices, but I still have fun with it overall, and the team-up gimmick lends itself to some fun combinations.

5. Sonic CD - As far as level design goes, I think it's just okay for the most part. But everything ELSE really elevates it IMO. With the time travel mechanic, the game is allowed to tell a story without saying anything, like S3&K would later do. The zones (sorry, rounds) are given a lot of different contrasts between their different incarnations, and every last one of them are pleasing to the eyes, even the dilapidated Bad Futures. Eggman also told us in song to Get Some Help, which was really thoughtful of him.

If you're wondering what the #6 runner-up would have been, it’s a tie between Generations and Rush Adventure. :]

[purplesurveys]

1180

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I’m pretty paranoid and always feel the need to use conditioner because of a bad rebonding job from like a decade ago that stiffened up my hair as soon as it would get wet. It lasted for around a year, so I formed the habit of always using conditioner every time I shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used just shampoo since then.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans?  Dark, but I suppose it would be nice to start experimenting with lighter shades as well.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen?  It depends if I know the lyrics or I’m feeling the song at the moment. Obviously with my new obsession with BTS I can’t really sing along to entire songs, but I do sing the few English lyrics they have per song, hahaha.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook?  Yeah but she’s been muted for like half a year already, as is the rest of her family. I do have plans to unfriend her entirely; I’m just not sure when I would push through with it, and I already gave Angela permission to log onto my account one of these days to be the one to do the unfriending.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person?  Gabie. I miss the friendship sometimes; I don’t think I’ll have a friendship as deep and connected as the one we had, so I will always feel sorry about how that went to waste. But I don’t really think about our relationship anymore as I’m pretty good at blocking off certain memories, so I don’t miss her in that sense.

How many cars are parked at your house right now?  Two.

Do you have any Italian ancestry?  I highly doubt so. If anything there’s probably a tiny drop Spanish blood in there but that’s the most European I’ll ever get.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature?  Like, drinking water? Ice cold, always. I hate warm water.

Has anyone ever told you you���re a control freak?  Not to my face, but I know I’m one so I’m sure other people have said that about me at least behind my back.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found?  Yes, my friend Mik and one of my aunts. They were both found eventually.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?  Eating ghost pepper instant noodles was a pain I would never want to go through again...I threw that shit out after my first forkful, lmao.

Do you need to talk to someone?  No, not in particular. In a more general sense I do wanna start gaining more friends though, so I’ve been meaning to expand my circle by creating a new Twitter account just for my BTS dump. In other words, I am a 23 year old with a stan Twitter HAHAHAHA

Is something confusing you at the moment?  No, I’m good.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat?  Maybe my conversation with Andi a couple of nights back. We were talking about a tricky situation with their ex-friend who turned out to be a real dick when they came out to him a year ago, and they just wanted to get my perspective on how I would handle it.

Who did you last see on webcam?  The PR manager for one of our clients, who we all despise because he doesn’t know how to do his job. Thankfully he’s resigning soon so we’re all just waiting for him to leave and finally meet a much more competent replacement.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Angela has two dogs, Hailey and Kennedy. Andi had Apollo, who I wanted to meet so badly but sadly he passed away a week ago at 15.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass?  There are photos of me sitting on grass, but not lying in it. I would imagine that would feel very prickly and uncomfortable.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Baymax or Flynn Rider.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk?  I’ve made my friends chug drinks or down shots and it’s happened vice versa, but it was always in good fun and we never made each other harassed from it. It’s just your typical college rambunctiousness, and if anyone felt uncomfortable or iffy then we didn’t hesitate to move on.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling?  I’ve only ever seen those in my first school, when I was in kindergarten. I never got to use it and they also took them out not long after.

Do you like being kissed on the neck?  Yessssssssss

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later?  Nope. I don’t think I would have sex with anyone I wasn’t dating.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra?  Probably a couple thousand bucks if I thought I looked good in it.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list?  I don’t think so. I never tried getting close with any of them, and I always tried to stay hidden as much as possible. I was just in class to get good grades and pass.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well?  I never really scroll through people’s Tumblrs anymore. That was more of a thing I did in like 2013, but these days going through my dashboard is enough.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand?  Some social media trends done for clout make me revolted, especially when it has anything to do with wasting food. I also hate when they do extreme pranks that I know I wouldn’t find funny if I were ever the victim, like tossing someone’s phone into the ocean.

Be honest: how do you feel about abortion?  Pro-choice. 

Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to?  I would love to catch up with Katreen at some point, but I know we’re at different points in our lives now and it would probably never happen.

What is your favorite piece of art you own?  I commissioned my sister to make an artwork of the 2D1N cast, and she did a great job making it! I haven’t gotten to use it or promote it yet, but I will soon. It’s really well-done.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month?  Replying late.

My favorite color is ______?  Pastel pink.

I wish I had _____?  Longer weekends.

What did you buy today? Nothing – I’d call that a success lmao, I’ve been spending money as if I had a million fucking bucks over the last week. I did have some packages arrive today though: my own copy of 2 Cool 4 Skool (my first physical BTS album!!!!!!); the official poster from their album BE; the Ivy Park sneakers I ordered earlier this month, and an Ivy Park bucket hat Bea had apparently gotten for me as a birthday present.

What has challenged your morals?  Vices.

What made you pick up the last book you started reading?  I had to read it in preparation for a one-on-one session with my employer’s CEO.

What about your life concerns you the most? Whether a stable future is in the cards for me.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend?  Probably Filipino-American comedians or influencers who use stereotyping of Filipino accents and habits as a punchline; they do more harm to the culture than good. I can tell you not one Filipino who lives in the Philippines actually finds those funny, and Bretman Rock is probably the only personality who’s able to flaunt the culture in an entertaining and hilarious yet classy way.

When it comes to being offended, I guess it depends on the context. My humor can get pretty dark and low-blowy, but I would have a problem with someone who I know has genuinely problematic views.

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another?  I think it may had still been Start-Up from last December. I’m not too big on Korean dramas since I find one episode waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long. I don’t think I’ll be starting on anything soon, Korean or otherwise.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same?  I’m single now, for the first time in technically six years. I also think I’m doing better and happier, breakup notwithstanding. OH and I love wasabi now, hahah. As for what’s unchanged, I still like taking surveys and I’m still stuck at home, though the latter’s not really in my control anymore.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take?  I’d just go back to UP for the free tuition. We also have the widest range of programs out of any university in the country, so it’s a damn good deal.

Name a song you’ve listened to today?  Fly To My Room - BTS

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard?  We didn’t; but one of our relatives that we’d regularly visit did have a playground that I’d use all the time. It’s still there, just very unmaintained since no one uses it anymore.

Is your mall nice?  Which one? We have five different malls nearby lol. Mall culture here is on another level.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there?  No. I’m not so sure what they serve there, either. I’m guessing milkshakes?

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around?  I’ll always exercise my right to vote.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries?  I hate strawberries and I hate fruits, so even if you coat that shit in Nutella and cookie butter and chocolate syrup I still wouldn’t touch it.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? No.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with?  I’ve never had a thing with guys.

To whom did you last give the finger?  I haven’t had to do that in a while.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?  My sister’s keyboard.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?  Not particularly. They make things look cute, but they never taste like anything tbh so I never saw the point in paying extra just to have them on my desserts.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before?  Nah. I cringe thinking about that.

Do you know how to do the moon walk?  I don’t.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice?  Never gotten that specific compliment before because I know I don’t have one.

Onion rings or french fries?  Onion rings.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? No.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast?  I don’t think so, but I know I have the tendency to do so occasionally, especially while I’m presenting a deck. Once I notice it I make an effort to pace myself.

Who is the best cook that you know?  My dad and both my grandmas all deserve that title.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most?  I literally never have lunch ever.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time?  I can’t juggle.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid?  Sandboxes, since I liked the texture; the sandboxes in school were also often empty, which worked well for my introvert self. I find that it’s carried over to today, since I still enjoy touching things like slime and kinetic sand.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much?  I think 5 or 6 lbs, I’m not exactly sure but it’s definitely somewhere in that small range.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do?  Work, for sure. I work a normal 9–6 so that’s already 8 hours out of my day, but I also OT a lot after hours, and I work throughout my lunch break as well so that technically makes it 9 hours. I also like getting up earlier and starting some work before my shift so that I would have less tasks on my plate for the day.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this?  I LOVE getting people gifts. Food is especially my love language, and I always get food delivery for my friends, family, and my team at work.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything?  I mean, I have work deadlines tomorrow so there’s that.

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining?  I love driving. I don’t think I ever complained about having to do it. It’s calming and relaxing when I’m doing it alone or with a partner; and it can be entertaining with the right set of people.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not always. If I don’t listen to the artist then I can find the conversation quite boring, like if my friends would get into a full-blown discussion about Taylor Swift.

Is acting something you enjoy?  No. It wouldn’t even be something I’d be interested in doing.

When do you feel most accomplished?  Finishing a work day with no tasks left behind.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross?  Idk what that is.

How many best friends do you have?  Two.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above?  I drink sometimes. I also kinda smoke, I guess.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced?  My mom had them pierced when I was a month old.

Do you own any exercise machines?  My mom has this rowing equipment thingy. I don’t have any of my own, though.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings?  No.

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait?  I remember having to draw one as a school assignment, but I’m pretty sure I half-assed that because I couldn’t care less for art class back then.

Who was your last voicemail from?  We don’t have voicemails.

Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious?  I don’t think so. That’s the sort of situation that would stick out in my memory if ever.

Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid?  No, not a thing here.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language?  Around an hour ago when I went downstairs and chatted with my sister briefly.

Have you ever received an anonymous gift?  Nope.

Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day?  Nope but I definitely still wouldn’t be opposed to doing that haha.

When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. < I’d have to agree. 2017 was also awful.

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you?  I used to know one but she got out of it. In a sense, I suppose I also was in one.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you?  Well they’re younger, so they definitely still live here, with our parents. I’m the first one expected to move out, but I’m taking my time.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops?  No.

Do you like fried rice?  Of course. I like any kind of rice.

What was the last thing you drank?  Water.

[onestowatch]

Lynn Gunn’s Honest Portrayal of PVRIS’ Past, Present and Future Plus Details on New LP ‘Use Me’ [Q&A]

Did you know that quicksand cannot really sink your entire body? Hollywood renditions of this frightening occurrence showcase “Indiana Jones” type heroes desperately reaching for a branch or a vine to evade being swallowed whole by the muddy foe. In real life, however, quicksand is much denser than the human body–namely your torso and lungs. So, although you may sink to some degree, you’ll only be engulfed to about your torso region. That being said, to escape the hold of this mucky captor, you’re called to utilize, not a vine or a stick, but a natural aspect of yourself–in this case, the buoyancy of your torso and lungs. Doing so allows you to adjust your positioning so that you are on your back and are therefore more easily able to free your legs and eventually, yourself.

During moments of crisis such as this, it is not often that we think to use what comes most natural to us in order to overcome difficulties. However, as PVRIS frontwomxn Lynn Gunn discovered, tuning into your natural inclinations can be exactly what sets you free.

After battling debilitating health issues, anxieties, and multiple album delays, the refreshingly new album Use Me is here, and it has the empowered LGBTQIA+ artist plastered all over it. From the distinctively raw lyrics, impassioned vocals, dexterous commixture of that classic PVRIS Alternative Rock and new-aged Glitch-pop, and even a 070 Shake feature, this new album is taking everything we thought we knew about PVRIS to much higher heights. Use Me serves as the first release since Gunn followed her heart and came forward as the sole architect behind PVRIS back in March. After listening to all 40 emotion-inducing minutes of this cinematic project, it becomes clear that Use Me is so much more than an album, it is an unapologetic reclamation of power.

We were able to speak with Lynn Gunn before the release of the album and gather her perspective on this new era of creativity, utilizing her natural abilities for this new project, and even on supporting social justice causes.

All quicksand jokes aside, sink into this interview with Lynn Gunn below:

Ones to Watch: Although you’ve been making music for quite some time, this new era seems to be of a new bloom, not only for PVRIS, but for you. As you have stated, PVRIS is still very much a collective, but you have decided to shed the skin of “band culture” and from it emerge as the sole vocalist, lyricists, and creative director of PVRIS. How has that transition been on you all? Are people taking to it the way that you imagined?

Lynn Gunn: I didn’t really imagine anyone taking it any way, to be honest, it’s happening regardless of what others want to say or feel about it. It’s felt great personally and as a unit. I’ve seen mostly support but obviously, with anything, there’s always going to be people with the opposite. At the end of the day, this is what this is moving forward and works best for us, I know my truth and what this journey has been and looked like so far. I’ve seen so many insane and comical theories and conspiracies about the transition/negative comments… but ultimately I think anyone who decides to wastes their energy like that might find their life to be much more enjoyable if they channeled that energy back into their own life as there’s clearly a lack/wound somewhere within themselves. If that seems sprinkled with “shade”, it is, but I mean that with the most sincerity as well.

The saying goes “you can never really outrun yourself”, and from White Noise to Use Me, it seems that you’ve left a bit of a breadcrumb-trail leading us to this point. Although PVRIS has primarily been recognized as an Alternative Rock “band”, we can hear tiny glimpses of the sound that best encompasses PVRIS now throughout your entire discography.  Was this glitch-pop, disco-esque sound something you were intentionally experimenting within your previous projects?

To be honest, this is always where I imagined PVRIS’s sound living and the type of production I’d heard PVRIS songs being told through. I think in the past I didn’t fully know how to communicate the little production nuances that would have taken some tracks from point A to B, there was also a fear (that I now regret having) about straying from the “rock” production/experiencing rejection from the “scene” we initially started playing shows and touring in.

For the most part, and I truly mean this, there really isn’t that much of a difference in the instrumentation and sonic choices of this album from the first two, it’s still a very even play of organic instruments and electronic/synths, it’s just being produced through a different lens that’s a bit cleaner, crisper and crunchier in some areas. It’s a new interpretation of the woodwork that’s always been there.

What has kept you motivated to continue creating and sharing your truth with the world?

That’s a great question because I go back and forth with that feeling sometimes… Ultimately seeing comments from fans/listeners and hearing everyone’s stories and ways that they connect to PVRIS’s music is the most motivating thing in the world. I also feel that no matter what type of obstacle course the universe wants to throw me through, I’m always going to be grateful for the bruises/lessons and always going to feel compelled to create and share those truths through music.

I understand you’ve run into a deluge of unfortunate health issues the past few years that have affected you and the band greatly. If you feel comfortable sharing, could you talk a little bit about these illnesses and the ways you have had to overcome the obstacles they brought forth to get you to where you are now?

Totally comfortable sharing! I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS) about two years ago and then about a year ago was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. AS is an inflammatory disease that mainly attacks the lower back, hips, and ribs, but it can also manifest in a lot of other ways as well such as joint pain, chronic fatigue, and even eye issues. Sometimes when my AS is really bad, I can barely get out of bed or even roll over in bed. Over time, if not treated properly or managed, it can cause your vertebrae to fuse... I’ve heard that’s super rare though. Crohn’s is chronic inflammation in the digestive tract and is a little more embarrassing but pretty self-explanatory haha…

They definitely taught me (and by taught I mean forced me) to take time in caring for myself and caring for my body. Resting properly, staying in shape, eating super healthy, setting boundaries with work, etc. It’s also just made me really appreciative of the moments when my symptoms aren’t as bad/just happy to be alive and not have it worse. I’m determined to manage both diseases holistically and through integrative medicine, so far I’ve seen great progress.

Do you believe these difficulties aided in your journey towards this self-actualization that listeners are able to distinguish in this new era of PVRIS? If so, how/in what way?

Definitely! There are definitely some references to those difficulties in a few of the songs. I think outside of the music, it’s given a lot more self-love, strength, and patience. It’s also just created even more urgency to live my truth and to live it unapologetically in the way that I want, which naturally extends into PVRIS and the art that I want to make.

If you had to use one word to describe each album thus far, what words would you use and why?

White Noise - Freshman - everything was so new and exciting and there was so much eagerness with it, like a freshman walking through a high school for the first time haha.

All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell - Bootcamp (haha) - creating it and touring it were both pretty hard experiences BUT incredibly strengthening.

USE ME - Upgrade - despite all the chaos around this release, this is the freest I’ve felt and the most confident I’ve felt about a PVRIS album.

All the visuals and music video treatments that you have conjured up have a strikingly symbolic and cinematic feel to them. However, the symbolism and tone of the music videos tied to Use Me seem to take on a different nature. Can you talk about this shift in creative expression?

Mostly just working with new collaborators (Yhellow, Katharine White and Griffin Stoddard). I feel a lot less precious about things (to a healthy degree) and much more open to letting others run with the concepts as they wish! So many fun new exciting perspectives have been able to shine through.  

I know you are a film fanatic and dabble in cinematography. Do you have any staple films that influenced the creation of the last five music videos?

The Holy Mountain was a big influence for the “Hallucinations” video, as well as [for] “Old Wounds”. For “Dead Weight”, I was actually inspired by the opening credits to That 70’s Show and Saturday Night Fever haha.

In July, you announced that the album was being pushed back so as to allow the floor for the amplification of Black voices, and to generate events in support of Black Lives Matter. Do you believe artists have a responsibility to take steps such as these to create a better future, regardless of whether or not these issues directly affect them?

Absolutely. We all need to be educating ourselves and actively doing the work to demand and create change towards a future that’s equal and just for Black lives.

Fans have been clinging to the edges of their proverbial seats waiting for Use Me in spite of all of the justifiable album delays. If you could relay one message to all the fans who have been patiently waiting, what would it be?

Please enjoy/connect, be good to each other and please please please vote if you are able!

Who are your Ones to Watch?

DRAMA, Jax Anderson, HDBeenDope, Royal and The Serpent, Nikki Hayes, Kat Cunning and LEXXE!

[fabulouspotatosister]

“just breathe, okay?” give me some of that good disaster!reader & 13 uwu

(i'm so sorry this took so long!! it took me a little bit to get my motivation to write back. also, surprisingly, this isn't life-threatening angst again! that's for another day. // this also kind of describes school-related stress, inspired by my own experiences huhu)

82. "Just breathe, okay?"

This was a mistake.

The part of your brain that was freaking out was throwing a fit, metaphorical alarm bells ringing out and touching every thought with panic. The more lucid part of your brain sighed and made a note, adding it to a list of mistakes that was now growing by the minute.

When you said you wanted a break from travelling with the Doctor, you meant a break from the hectic atomosphere, near-death experiences, and general stress that those near death experiences caused. You should have been happy, really, when the Doctor dropped you off back on Earth in the middle of a hectic school week. Projects and assignments were things you could control.

That was something you stopped believing a few minutes ago.

The quiet hum of your ceiling fan was a constant, at least. The only light in the room was the bright glow of your laptop screen, settled on an empty document, with at least fifty tabs open on your browser. The poor thing was probably overheating, the keyboard keys already growing warm under your touch.

You definitely needed a time machine right now.

"Why'd I tell her to drop me off today? Oh yeah, give me just a few hours to deal with all the things that have piled up since I left, I can totally deal with that," you groaned to yourself. The light of the laptop screen was stabbing, making your eyes burn with the effort to see past it and look at the measly amount of words you had typed. "I've done this before! Why is this so hard today?"

It was true. You were the king of pulling all-nighters - a habit that unfortunately followed you onto the TARDIS. Living on a time machine and still staying up late. That must have been a special talent of yours.

You'd set your phone face down on your desk, the buzzing of notifications fading into the background like everything else did, creating a symphony from a cacophany of noises. This was a symphony you were supposed to be used to, background music for your battle against deadlines and unhelpful classmates. Challenging and triumphant.

Tonight, it was doubt and fear with just a hint of giving up sprinkled in.

You leaned back in your chair, taking a deep breath in to loosen the knots in your stomach, and picked up your phone. A fifteen-minute break couldn't hurt, right? Maybe that would be the thing to bring back some of your motivation.

You had spent the entire night making mistakes. Picking up your phone was the worst one.

You were hit with a barrage of messages, ranging from patient questions to aggressive queries in all caps.

"hey, we kind of need that thing by tonight"

"Hello? Where are you? Pick up the phone, please!"

"you still working on that? anyway i can help?"

Anyway I can help?

Time passes, time doesn't wait, and you were wasting so much of it trying to catch up. Trying to to everything yourself. You glanced at the time - 10 PM - you only had two hours and if you didn't get everything done you would let so many people down.

Your room was already small - the walls just seemed to get smaller. All the background noise rose to a deafening crescendo, your panic starting to overwhelm all of your senses - everything was just too much, there was just so much, and you just wanted it to be -

"What's going on? Hello?"

Quiet. It all went quiet for a precious moment as you saw the Doctor's head peek out from behind your bedroom door. The sight of her face was enough to make your chest constrict even tighter.

"Broke in. Sorry," she said quietly, opening the door slowly and stepping inside. "Before you ask, I know my sonic doesn't work on wood, but I have my methods. Do apologize to your mum for me, and pick up some of the glass -" She paused, her gaze stopping at your face. "What's with that face?"

A distraction, you needed a distraction. "You broke a window?"

"I didn't exactly break it, I maneuvered my way in!" the Doctor whispered, proudly, before her face fell again. "That's a fancy way of saying I broke it. I am sorry!"

You tried a laugh, and it came out more like a strangled noise from the back of your throat. Your thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and you were vaguely aware of a pain in your palms - you looked down to see that you were gripping the armrests of your chair.

The Doctor said your name, slowly, like she was throwing out a lifeline. "Are you alright?"

"Fine. Totally fine." And totally instinctual. "Why are you here?"

"You weren't answering our messages," the Doctor explained. She moved closer to you, standing not too far away from where you were sitting. You hoped she didn't get too close. "I - we got worried, so I came to check on you."

Oh, you'd flipped over your phone. Your phone with all the messages and the reminders of deadlines. You shuddered. The Doctor seemed to catch that, her brow furrowing slightly.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She was inches away now, her hands hovering in the air. "You can talk to me, if you'd like. I don't give the best advice but I will listen."

If she moved any closer you would probably burst into tears - with a well-placed push of your foot against the floor, your chair skidded backwards, away from her and any comfort you felt like you didn't deserve.

"I'm a mess," you said. You squinted, her face suddenly blurry in the dark. "I'm a mess and I don't know how to deal with things properly." You just couldn't stop talking now, the words coming out in short bursts. "There's just so much going on and I have to catch up with all of it and -"

There were hands on your shoulders, now. You looked up to see the Doctor's face just inches away from yours.

"Just breathe, okay?" she murmured, holding you squarely in place. "Breathe. We'll find a way through this, yeah? Just breathe for me. That's right, in and out. Perfect!"

You found something to focus on - her eyes shone even in the dark, and her hair reflected the faint light of the moon coming in through your window. You took in deep lungfuls of air, marveling at the way the Doctor's face lit up with every deep breath you took.

"Sorry," you muttered, with a wry laugh. The Doctor raised an eyebrow in question - "I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I really am a mess -"

"Don't call yourself that," the Doctor countered immediately. The conviction in her voice squashed the small voice in your head that told you she was lying. "You are not a mess. You are brilliant and determined and you can do this. We can do this."

The Doctor - an indescribable alien that traveled through time and space and was incredible in her own way - was calling you brilliant. It made you feel warm, and you let a smile form on your face, watching as the Doctor smiled back.

"There we are." The Doctor beamed. "Now, come with me - and bring your laptop."

"Wait a minute, what?" you asked - but she was already rushing out the door. "Doctor, wait! Why?"

The Doctor poked her head through the door, grinning widely. "Time machine! Get a shift on! I haven't written an essay in years, let's see if I can remember anything from the great authors of Iambos..."

Her voice trailed off as she got farther away. You stared in shock at the door for a moment before laughing quietly, shutting your laptop and running after the Doctor.

Maybe you didn't make mistakes all the time.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #354

“swimming through the void, we hear the word  /  we lose ourselves, but we find it all”

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. My hair is naturally pretty oily, and conditioner just adds oil to it. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. I never liked light-hued jeans. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? My first "real" boyfriend. I always do to varying degrees. How many cars are parked at your house right now? Just one. Do you have any Italian ancestry? No. Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? The colder, the absolute better. I can barely stomach drinking water that isn't cold, like literally. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? I don't think so, anyway. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? A certain hot sauce on the wings I used to get at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was close to the top of their little heat rating thing. It made me feel awful, and yet I enjoyed it still?? I think it was an adrenaline thing. I only get medium sauce now; I'm more interested in enjoying my food than feeling like I'm eating fire. Do you need to talk to someone? I'm ready for my therapy appointment honestly, but it's not 'til the start of June. Mom and I both don't want to go through the process of finding a new one, so I've chosen to just suck it up and wait. Is something confusing you at the moment? I'm always confused with myself and my feelings. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Real deep, I'm sure that would've been during PHP. Who did you last see on webcam? My former group therapist. I miss him a lot and really wish he could treat me outside of the program, but he doesn't do that. :/ What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Doris, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Buster, Beesly, Winter, and I believe only one of the fish is named: Raisha. Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? No. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Dory, probably. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? What the fuck, no. When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? I've never used one. Do you like being kissed on the neck? Whoa now buddy, we better be kind of serious by then for you to do that because it doesn't end "well" lmao. Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? I almost deleted this question because I didn't want to answer it, but I try to leave more unique ones in, so... whatever. I haven't. But I would for "somebody." What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Ugh, my relationship with bras is a hellish one because NONE FUCKING FIT ME CORRECTLY. Mom's tried so, so many places, so many different stores online and in-person, and even if the bra fits in the front, it won't go around my back comfortably. I guess my body is shaped weird, I don't fucking know, because I have literally ZERO bras that don't aggravate me. At some point, I'm going to some woman Mom knows who can size me properly and therefore buy some that don't piss me off. All that to say I'd actually pay more than the usual, but not a ridiculous price. Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? My old Physical Science teacher, who is actually now a very close family friend and our landlord, is in my phone. Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? No. What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? How ungrateful they can be. Be honest: how do you feel about abortion? I am pro-choice. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a lot of people, actually. Old friends I miss. What is your favorite piece of art you own? It... sounds cocky, but it's probably the drawing I did in high school of Pyramid Head and the Halo of the Sun intertwined. I worked my fucking ass off and I'm extremely proud of it. What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Hm. Probably just something minor, like bumping into Mom or something when passing her. My favorite color is ______? Pink, specifically pastel pink. I wish I had _____? A job. What did you buy today? Nothing. What has challenged your morals? Life, my dude. Live and learn. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It's the sequel to the last book I read. What about your life concerns you the most? Concerns me, my physical health, especially just how weak my legs are. I'm terrified of them continuing to deteriorate. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I cannot fucking stand the misuse of the word "retarded." Like just keep your damn mouth sewn shut if you have the audacity to say things like "hurr hurr this driver is retarded." ANY mental illness/condition is NOT to be mocked. Onto the next question, I'd say I'm more towards difficult to offend. It really depends on the topic. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I re-watched Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. We're working on Avatar: The Last Airbender too, but I won't resume watching it again until we can do it together. What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? Well, I weigh a lot more. .-. I gained back almost all the weight I shed since quarantine started, and I'm forever fucking furious about it. I'm the same in most other ways. If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? Uhhhhh meerkat behavior? Idk. Name a song you’ve listened to today? I've got Halocene, Lauren Babic, and Violet Orlandi's cover of "Aerials" by System of a Down on loop right now. It's fucking gorgeous and so mesmerizing. When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? We had a small playhouse with swings and a slide. Is your mall nice? GOD no. You better accept the possibility of getting shot before you walk in there. There's nothing that cool at all there. Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? Yeah. I love the strawberry slushy, and the Reese's Blast thing if KILLER. Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? Yes. How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? GOOD. STUFF. Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? I think so. Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? No, he's my closest guy friend. To whom did you last give the finger? Probably some idiot that ran a red light. I'm sure it happened in the car, whenever it happened What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? I've got no clue. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No, I hate the texture difference. And just sprinkles in general. Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? No. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah, but I beg to differ. Onion rings or french fries? French fries. I'm not a big fan of the other. Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? Nope. Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? When I'm excited, yes, it happens sometimes. Who is the best cook that you know? Uhhhhh idk. Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I don't really skip meals. What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle at all. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Swings. I'd dash to those at recess to try to actually get one. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? All I know is six pounds, no clue on the ounces. Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Sitting my ass at the computer, really... I don't exactly do much. Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? It feels sucky of me considering whenever I do get someone a gift, it's because Mom is letting me use her money with me being without an income, BUT I still do LOVE the process of thinking of something meaningful for those important to me and hopefully seeing them love whatever I got them. I cannot wait until I actually can do that regularly. What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? Take care of my pets. How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? I hate driving because you're in a speeding box of death, man. I do really want to start working towards my license though; I've long since reached the "enough is enough" point. But first I need new glasses so I can actually see five feet in front of me. Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Yeah! Is acting something you enjoy? No. I'm too awkward about it. When do you feel most accomplished? When I finish a big art pierce. Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? I like 'em. Just messy, which I'm not a fan of. How many best friends do you have? One. Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? None of the above. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? I don't remember exactly, but I was a kid. Do you own any exercise machines? No. I wish. On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Nah, but I used to do that. Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? Painted, but only because it was a school assignment. Who was your last voicemail from? I don't get voicemails because mine isn't even set up. Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? No. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Not since I was taking a test in high school for my German course. My teacher was a Germany native, so she was a total pro and fun to learn from. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. That's always sounded miserable to me. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I don't know if it's abusive, but it's toxic and dysfunctional as HELL. I don't know WHY she keeps going back to him, I feel awful for the woman. I'm definitely not, 'cuz I wouldn't tolerate that shit for half a second. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out by now. Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? Yes, as a safety protocol with mental illness stuff. Do you like fried rice? Yes. What was the last thing you drank? Would you believe me if I told you I have water right now?

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 81

Here we have a bit of fluff mixed in with our main plot. I really enjoy when I have the chance to mix life in with everything else going on, and for this chapter I was able to sprinkle some Maverick and Tyche interaction as well.

Only real trigger warning for this chapter is food, which I am seriously considering just applying to the entire story.  In my real life, family and love revolve around feeding people, so I know that gets threaded everywhere when I write.

I snagged my sister on the way out of Xiomara’s office.  “Hey.” My tone was soft, out of concern for the face I had seen her making earlier when she mentioned Antoine.  “Is everything okay?”

She didn’t even look at me, just opened her datapad and started typing. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded tersely. “Just busy, and honestly I’m a little irritated that Xiomara is going to leave us in the dark about this.” She sighed and shoved a hand through her short-cropped hair.  “You know I hate not knowing.”  Closing her datapad, she sighed and finally looked at me.  Her jaw was clenched tightly and her gaze was so intense that I felt like she was trying to communicate with me telepathically.  “It’s Wednesday.  How do you feel about fish? I could really go for those tacos you make, with tilapia.  Especially now that I can eat them with that mandarin habanero salsa you always moan over.”

I felt the corner of my mouth quirk up at her request. I loved fish tacos, and with the technology on board? It was no longer a labor, and instead was a treat. However, I fully understood the message she was giving me:  Antoine would not be at dinner.  He despised tilapia, and actually referred to it before as ‘fish for people too lazy to use tofu’. 

Also, it was Monday.  She even told me, that morning, how she hates Mondays.  Something was up.

“Yeah, fish tacos sound great.  I’ll even teach you how to make the salsa.”  Instead of even trying to smile, I bit my bottom lip, scrunched my nose, and nodded.  It was a gesture I did whenever she and I were plotting something fun, and no fake emotions were required.

She and I parted just as Maverick stepped over from his conversation with Arthur. “What was that about?” he asked casually.

I tried to wave it off. “Oh, Tyche had a request for dinner tonight.”

Every effort I put into keeping my tone light had been in vain. “It’s Monday, and a certain person hates your fish tacos, because of the fish you use.”  At least he kept his tone equally light.

I shrugged. “Pretty sure she actually knows that, but still.  Do you mind if she comes over?” The question was sincere, despite knowing that he was well aware something was going on.

He laughed at the question. “Of course I don’t mind.  Conor has a late shift, so he won’t be home for dinner anyway.  We can totally manage three people on a Monday.”

“Why is he working so late?” I was honestly confused by this one. “He works Alpha this week, doesn’t he?”

“He does. But they are finally rebuilding the platforms in BioLab 2, and he wants to be present to ensure that there’s not a repeat.”

I sighed, but understood. Conor tended to blame himself for any failure of anything he was even somewhat-adjacent to.  Being in love with him definitely showed me my own tendency to take on too much responsibility.  Which was exactly why I had allowed Maverick and Tyche to convince me to hand our suspicions about the cult over to Xiomara and let her handle it. Bouncing up onto my toes, I gave him a quick kiss.  “Speaking of work and shifts, we still have half of our own to knock out.  I’ll see you tonight.”

He grinned as I brushed a lock of hair out of his face - he really needed a haircut, but it was so soft. “Fish tacos? Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Somehow I managed to focus for the next five hours, taking care of thankfully-small agenda items.  Work assignment swaps, housing transfers, and the never-ending list of suggestions and requests for social activities.  Someone really seemed to believe knife-throwing classes would be a hit. Let’s table that for now.  Admittedly I was intrigued, so it would probably be brought up at dinner, just to get some feedback.

I made it to my quarters with just enough time to shower, shouting to Maverick the list of ingredients we needed to make everything.  As much as I wanted to linger - I had finally managed to use the actual shower instead of the sonic scrubber as of a week ago - I had a feeling Tyche needed me more.  I did, at least, remember to put the oil she insisted on in my hair, although she still rolled her eyes when she came in.

“Your hair is a mess, as usual,” she grumbled.  Without hesitation, she grabbed the end of a longer section and held it in front my eyes.  “Oil goes on the tips first, dork.  That’s the old part, so it’s the driest.”

Maverick smirked as he brought over all the ingredients we needed, and I just shrugged. “I at least remembered to put it in there.”

“Will miracles never cease,” she agreed, grabbing a knife and the server of fish filets.  “Maverick, can you heat the oil please? One-seventy-five.”

“One-ninety,” I corrected.  “They’ll never crisp up that low.  One-seventy-five is for the shells.”

“Right,” she nodded, absentmindedly.  I was starting to worry about her using that knife.  However, she seemed entirely aware that she was distracted, because she never put her fingers near the blade. She very carefully held the knife by the handle, with her hand flat on the back of the blade.

I started mixing the spices and flour together, before moving on to shredding the cabbage.  “Miys, please restrict monitoring of my quarters to medical-only, override strictly keyed to myself and Tyche Reid.”

“Understood, Wisdom.  Please remember that restriction is limited to four hours.”

“Thank you, Noah. Can you advise me of the ending of the restriction?”

“Of course.”

A glance over my shoulder showed an approving nod from Maverick.  When I looked back at Tyche, she was wide-eyed.  “Did you really just do that?”

All I could do was snort. “Of course I did.  Clearly you’re worried about Antoine, and you wanted to discuss it in private without him present.  He has medical access to room logs, as I’m sure you’re aware, especially since he’s listed as my primary medical provider on board.  Not recording anything means there is nothing for him to hear, and he’s already aware that we were talking to Xiomara about the cult today, so we can easily say we discussed that.  In fact, I just said it, so it’s not even a lie.”

She sliced the final fillet into strips, scooped them up, and dropped them in the breading with a sigh.  “Thank you.”

Maverick cleared his throat gently.  “Oil’s getting hot….  Tyche, would you be more comfortable if I needed to get more tortillas from the commissary?”

That, at least, got a smile out of her.  “I appreciate the offer, but not only is it okay for you to be here, that is the dumbest excuse you could probably think of.”

“Hey, it was short notice,” he winked at her. “Conor is better at those kind of excuses.”

I pitched my voice low enough to croak. “Oi, I forgot to tell Charly when to be on site tomorrow.  She never wears her databand off work… I’ll be right back.”

“See? That is a much better excuse.” Tyche laughed before turning serious again. “But, no. I need both of your opinions, and Conor’s, too, when you get a chance to talk to him.” She started gently tossing the sliced fish in the coating.  “Antoine has been… off, lately.  Quieter than usual, things are always coming up at the last minute that keep him gone for long periods of time…. Don’t get me wrong, I like my me-time, but I’m starting to get worried.  As weird as it is to use the term in our relationship, he’s been distant.” She stopped, hands limp in the bowl, head down.

“Hug or no hug?” I asked, stepping around the counter.

“No hug.” She shook her head firmly.

I snagged the bowl of fish instead and started dropping it in the oil. “Okay. So, are we worried he’s having an affair, just losing interest….?”

She moved to the sink to wash her hands. “That’s the thing.  I’ve thought and thought and thought about it… You know how I over plan stuff.  And, really, it all kind of goes back to when we first started noticing people behaving suspiciously.” She may have been scrubbing her hands more vigorously than strictly necessary, but that was a good sign.

For what felt like an eternity, the only sound in my kitchen was sizzling oil.  Maverick recovered first.  “Tych.  Sweetie, do you… You think he’s mixed in with all that?”

“I don’t know,” she moaned, more irritation than fear. The nail brush clattered in the sink.  “The timing is just weird as hell.”

I scooped the first batch of fish out and dropped the next, careful not to gesture with the spider strainer and flick hot oil everywhere. “Okay, so.  Let’s start at the worst case scenario. Say Antoine is involved with this cult.  The suspected leader is a survivalist with very Norse-oriented leanings, who thinks that we are moving from Ragnarok to our new beginning.  Yes, they are antisocial enough for the two of us,” I pointed emphatically between myself and my sister, “to think they are going a wee bit overboard.  But, what percent probability is there that Antoine will actually stick with a group of people that rude?”

She tipped her head side to side with a grimace.  “He spent the End holed up in a senior care facility and robbing people for heart medication.  I’m going with ten percent?”

“So, statistically possible, and we have a baseline probability.”  I took a deep breath. “In that vein, this also started after the thing with Else. Which, I want to remind y’all, involved him butting heads with his direct superiors, putting me in a couple of comas, trying to figure out what a delirious Grey was trying to say - filtered through a couple of non-medical people, all while sick himself.”

“So he may just be exhausted?” Maverick asked for clarification.

“Or fed up,” I shrugged.

She nodded reluctantly, snatching the strainer to take out the second batch of fish before I burned them. “Even conservatively, that’s more in the eighty-to-ninety range.  Either of them, really.  I doubt he expected to sign on as a sidekick to the Futuristic Winchester Sisters.”  After adding the next batch to the oil, she groaned. “Fuck. This means I have to actually confront him, doesn’t it?”

I smirked involuntarily and started dicing onions for the salsa.  When I grabbed the cilantro, she complained but relented when she saw it was maybe a teaspoon worth, diced fine.  “It’s either ask him, or go by faith that the most likely outcome is the correct one.”  I reached for the next ingredient.

“Cucumber?” She scrunched her nose. “In salsa?”

“Balances out the strong flavors,” I clarified.  After mixing everything together, I set half of it to the side and grabbed two whole habaneros. After trimming out the stems, I started dicing them.

“You have got to be joking,” Maverick begged. 

“Nope,” I popped. “The recipe has four habaneros, so for half it’s only two.”

“But.  The seeds too?  Aren’t they the spicy part?”

“Nah.  That’s the membranes,” Tyche piped up.  “Even I know that, and I couldn’t eat this stuff for decades.”

“Just tell me you left some mandarin pieces for me?” He gave an impressively good puppy-dog eye.

I just laughed.  “Babe, you’re fine, I swear.  I had you get a double batch, so there’s plenty left for you to eat later.”

All the breath in my lungs was forced out in a whoosh as he whirled me around. “You are psychic, and I love youuu!”  My squeals and their laughter drowned whatever worries we had for the night, leaving us all breathless as we finished dinner.

Crisis after crisis? Bring it on. I wasn’t trading this moment for any world. 

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[afterlife-2004]

Happy Birthday to legend himself, Idris Elba! Who turns 52 years old today and also plays the role as Knuckles The Echidna in Sonic Movie 1, 2, The Knuckles Show, and upcoming Sonic Movie 3! 💥🥊🎂🎊 🎉🎈🥳

In celebration? Here’s some artwork I’ve done of Movie Knuckles in the past! ❤️❤️

[tillidontneedfantasy]

‘Fine Line’ - Harry Styles REVIEW: Finding His Balance

“When I played it for the label, I told them, ‘This is the first single. It’s two minutes, thirty-five. You’re welcome,’” Harry Styles recalls when discussing “Lights Up” in a track-by-track breakdown of his second solo studio effort, Fine Line, with Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield. Thank you, indeed. “Lights Up” was an excellent first single choice for a number of reasons, now all the more clear in the context of the album. Though oddly structured and not particularly radio-friendly, it’s interesting, catchy, short and to the point: as much as you try to hide who you are, once the lights are up, those watching will know, so you might as well shine; but do you know?

Just as importantly, does Harry? Fine Line is a vague exploration of the self, both personally and musically, filled with cryptic platitudes and slick guitar riffs. However, the one aspect of himself Styles seems to be most acquainted with, and thus most comfortable sharing, is the “dark running through” his heart that cannot be extinguished by all the lights; in fact, it is amplified. Perhaps Styles finds it difficult to be honest in his relationships, but Fine Line is sprinkled with dark confessions, most notably in a series in the middle of the album (immediately following “Lights Up”): “I can tell that you are at your best / I’m selfish so I’m hating it” in “Cherry,” a track of spewing bitter jealousy; “There’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands” in “Falling,” a heart-wrenching ballad for the books; “I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch / who can’t admit when he’s sorry,” in the pleasant-sounding yet morose ditty “To Be So Lonely.”

Those confessionals are the strongest demonstrations of Styles’s songwriting potential, and are the meat and bones of Fine Line’s takeaway: losing someone you once loved can cause you to almost lose yourself. Hopefully, you find yourself along the road to healing; but Styles often leaves the listener wondering if he really does know who he is now or not. What we do know is two things: 1) The end of his last relationship caused a lot of pain and introspection and 2) The man likes to have sex. Understandable points. Good equation for a successful album.

BEST TRACK: “Fine Line”

The title track and closer, “Fine Line” immediately invokes emotion as soon as it begins, and it only intensifies throughout its six-minute and eighteen-second duration. As the song moves along, new elements are subtly and meticulously added, layered in with his low and almost careful singing in a way that sounds like nature. Around four minutes in, the song really starts to come alive, the instrumentation building and building towards an outro that reaches a crescendo at Styles’s final “we’ll be alright,” and then perfectly finishes with high-pitch vocal notes that feel like freedom before it drifts out with a few light piano notes. While its message about maintaining balance on the fine line between the extremes of love resonates, the real victory of this song is its ability to move you with just the music. Despite its length, it always feels like it ends too soon.

WEAKEST TRACK: “Golden”

While a pleasant-sounding opener and a good tone-setter for the rest of the record sonically, “Golden” could have been cut in half, with about twenty fewer repetitions of the title, and used as more of brief introduction or interlude instead. In contrast to the closer, “Fine Line,” which is the longest song on the album and includes just as much- if not more- repetitions of its title, it serves a purpose in that song, whereas in “Golden” it feels like filler. This monotonous track is the most prominent example of how often Styles’s lyrics seem to be lacking; he surely has the ability to improve, he just needs to access it.

THE IN-BETWEENS

Luckily for Styles, the production on this album is so outrageously good that it’s enough to keep you interested throughout. “She,” a six-minute psychedelic rock song is an epic trip (I mean, Styles’s guitarist, Mitch Rowland, wrote it on mushrooms, go figure) into a daydream with the perfect woman who doesn’t exist. “Canyon Moon” is a road-trip-ready, light, feel-good song where his musical influences are rather apparent; Styles cites Joni Mitchell and Crosby, Stills, and Nash as his muses, and another idol of his, Steve Nicks, claims it to be her favorite track on the record, a lovely feat. The pre-released singles “Lights Up,” “Watermelon Sugar,” and “Adore You” are sincerely all pop perfection, more mature and refined from his 1D days. The most experimental track, “Treat People With Kindness,” is interesting but falls short for a song that feels like years in the making, considering it has been a phrase Styles and his fans have claimed for the past few years. Although it is clear that Styles’s intention with the song was to spread a positive message which focuses on being kind and not taking life too seriously (though he proclaims that “if our friends all pass away / it’s okay,” and…I don’t know, is it really okay, Harry?!?) it feels like he could have done more with it. One particularly good line is towards the end of the track when he sings, “all we ever want is automatic all the time,” and perhaps he could’ve taken his own advice and given a song with such a grand title a bit more effort.

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “Falling”

A close second to “Fine Line,” “Falling” is one of the strongest in Styles’s solo discography and more impressive considering he wrote it in about twenty minutes in a towel. In this beautiful ballad, Styles opens his heart, grabbing the listener’s in the process. “What am I now? / What if I’m someone I don’t want around?” he sings in a panic. This moment of self-reflection after the end of a relationship truly settles in as reality and you can no longer look away from your mistakes is painfully relatable. This track is the most honest of the bunch, and thus feels necessary. With all the previously mentioned pop jams already aptly released as singles, “Falling” feels like the wisest choice going forward to keep the momentum; listeners love a man openly grieving a heartbreak and taking responsibility for his actions (even cheating, I suppose, as is mildly implied in the first verse…I mean, this is your mans? Good thing his regret sounds sincere at least), and the unbelievable tone of his voice when he belts the last word of the bridge, “and I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again” is just the icing on the cake.

                                                                   ***

It is always a difficult task for a former group member to come into their own as a solo artist, and very few have done so with the admiration and reverence that Styles has accrued thus far. With his self-titled debut solo record in 2017, Styles made it clear, as most group-departing members do, that he had a sound different from that of his claim to fame in One Direction. His seriousness as a musician was now established through the positive reception of his debut, and thus his success allowed him to have a little more fun on Fine Line. It also allowed him to get a little more candid and authentic, knowing that the world has accepted him with open arms and has been begging for more. Styles mostly delivers with Fine Line, but in some ways it feels unfinished. The musical production is intriguing and exciting, and by far the best thing about this album, but is still somewhere between a regeneration of classic inspirations and a sound unique to Styles himself; all he needs is a little more time to find his own signature style (no pun intended) rather than just creating a conglomerate of musical elements from his influences and signing his name. But in the meantime, the music still holds up. The real conundrum is the lyrics, which are well and fine, but do not effectively communicate the truth hiding behind the sentiments yet give you just enough to let him get away with it. If he had given us just a bit more, Fine Line could have been a true triumph. However, this is only his second album, and being a confessional songwriting superstar while still preserving your right to privacy is, well, a fine line to walk (I had to, I’m sorry!), but I’m sure he’ll find his balance in no time. Grade: 3.5/5

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I was a very casual One Direction fan during their peak of fame. I think Midnight Memories is a great pop album and I stand by that. I’ve always been more of a Niall girl, but I have never been able to completely resist Harry’s charisma; I’m only human. I listened to his debut album in 2017 maybe twice, three times at most, and just thought it was fine, but not particularly impressive. But since then it’s been impossible to deny his talent and star power. I was very intrigued by “Lights Up,” and with every single release I had found myself enjoying the songs more than I wanted to admit. I think Fine Line is a really great album. Sonically, it is in my exact sweet spot of the kind of music I absolutely love, so I was doomed to like it from the start. What stopped me from giving it a grade of 4 or higher though was that even with multiple listens I struggle to understand what the hell this guy is trying to say in his music. Many times, it takes me reading what die-hard stans say to understand what message he’s trying to send. Unfortunately, that is a failure to me. I know plenty of people love cryptic and ambiguous lyrics or poetry, but as a consumer, I want to be able to understand the story or the message with at least a couple of listens. Of course, lyrics can and should be left up to interpretation, but sometimes I don’t even know what he wants me to interpret! From my perception, this is just a reflection of Harry holding back from truly saying what he wants (with few exceptions, such as “Falling”). I think he is so talented and has so much potential but just needs a little more time unlocking it. I’m excited to see what he does in the future.

[heartlessconviction]

The Sonic Social Media Team.

Ok, with the Sonic franchise in this drought right now. I kinda want to talk about my concerns with the social media team. Note, are they to blame for the lack of news? No, despite my gripes with the team as a whole they are great people who do a great job, they have to go with what they are given.  Thus when they are given fuck all about the new game or project, what do you really expect? This is just my view point, let me state that clearly. I am by no means the enforcer of Sonic, this is just how I see it from my view point.  So you know what I’m about to say, I hate the memes. No hold on, I’ve always hated the memes, from 2015-now. I have always been consistent in this viewpoint and have never been disingenious about it.  You will argue that the memes are just a way to engage with the audience, I disagree with that and its all due to the stigma around the franchise when it pertains to the general public.  Whether you like it or not, even with the success of the movie. People have this misconception that Sonic was never good, he had a rough transition to 3D, hes a laughing stock and there is no valid foundation as to why they feel this way, they think this because they are told this by the vocal majority in this case.  So when you have Sonic Team not being able to produce a game with a credible amount of quality in 9 years. Sonic Generations being the last game, and every time since then you have flopped harder than a soggy piece of moldy bread.. The memes reinforce this stigma, its not interacting with your audience but its pandering and justifying the false notion that a vast majority outside of the fanbase has about the series to begin with.  The memes when done right can be used to great effect, however the only time the social media even post is to do a meme. They don’t announce anything, they don’t advertise anything such as the Sonic documentary that has been recently produced, or they don’t showcase anything.  The fact is they aren’t engaging with the audience of the fanbase, they are engaging with those outside of it and I find that to be a severe problem with their strategy. There is a reason why a lot of people are pissed off with these memes now, they aren’t being addressed by the team whos job...Is to address the fanbase!  To their credit, they have started to put spotlight on fan art. Which I really have to credit them for. However its a vast minority to the content they post. I feel they need to perform a 180, the occassional meme but putting a spotlight on the fandom itself and their passion.  For as toxic as the Sonic Fanbase can be, there has always been a sprinkle of hope burried within fan creations. From fan games such as SRB2, Sonic World, Sonic Utopia, Before and after the sequel, time twisted, P-06, GT so on and so forth. Truly quality pieces of work that ooze with passion, and thats just the game side of it, you have Sonic Unbound a comic animation in production, Sonic and Tails R an animation that actually has some of the original cast partaking in it such as Ryan Drummond the list goes on.  Why can’t the social media team partake in SAGE for example? Sega are not Nintendo, one thing I will credit Sega for despite their poor management of their ips. Is the freedom they give to fans in order to create their dream work, have the social media team partake in these events. On Sonic Official have them play these fan games or react to these animations. Base memes around these fan works to place a spotlight on these truly talented individuals.  Heck get interviews from these developers and artists so not just the community, but those outside of the community can see all the good that this franchise has to offer.  I’m not going to pretend I know all the answers, I just see it from a fan perspective. Yes we want new info on the games sure, but a lot of people are angry because it feels like the social media team aren’t listening to the fans. To me it just feels like they are trying to pander to an audience that doesn’t really have a vested interest in the franchise, rather than engaging in any meaningful capacity with the current and active fanbase. 

[twotwinks]

a thing i was tagged in a long time ago by @rochc93. i am, believe it or not, attempting to catch up on these things. i always intend to do them but it’s either not a good time when i think about them or i’m not thinking about them. sorry i’m a mess

Who were you named after?

First name, nobody bitch. That’s all me. Middle name, like twenty different characters who are important to me but all on accident because I didn’t realize we shared the name until after I’d picked it. Notable instances include Rita Rose Vrataski from Edge of Tomorrow and also Amy Rose (a recent discovery). Last name, Gary King and also because I like confusing people about my gender by deliberately using a “male” title while presenting female (though hopefully not for much longer) and also being nonbinary. (Also s/o to ladies who call themselves king instead of queen. Yes I’m thinking of Kagamine Rin in the WanOpo songs Death Should Not Have Taken Thee and Our Adventure Log Has Vanished.)

Last time you cried?

two weeks ago to the day, when my dad let our dog Koko get hit by a car, things have been Extra Bad around here since then

Do you like your handwriting?

No. When I was little everyone always used to tell me how pretty it was but then I started trying to be a Serious Writer and my penmanship degraded as a result of how fast I had to get the words out of my head. Now my mom whines all the time about how messy and illegible my writing is.

What is your favorite lunch meat?

TURKEY

Longest relationship?

Umm....about two years ago for about three months-ish? I think? Maybe two months? I don’t know, we were dating for Christmas and then I broke up with him right before Valentine’s Day because my mental health couldn’t take it. I realized I was aro shortly after. Who would’ve guessed, huh?

Do you still have your tonsils?

Yep!

Do you bungee jump?

no and i never will

What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Dude this changes like monthly. Sometimes Honey Bunches of Oats. Sometimes Frosted Flakes. Sometimes I get a ridiculously strong craving for Strawberry Awake or Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios. I just get to eat cereal so infrequently that I can’t really have a favorite, I just have to indulge whatever craving I currently have because I only get the chance to eat one box every three months or so.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Yes because when I was little my mom ingrained into me that not untying my shoes first would ruin the backs of them way faster than they should. In all fairness we were poor and couldn’t afford to buy me new shoes that often because my feet are so sensitive that an actual comfortable pair costs $100.

Do you think you’re strong willed?

oh fuck no i mean have you ever spoken to me??? i’m the biggest baby pushover to ever live

Favorite ice cream?

Either that Death by Chocolate stuff they serve at Purdue’s dining courts sometimes or mint chocolate chip. It has to be green though or it loses something sdkhsdhk

What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Usually like their shirt, I guess? I don’t know, this isn’t something I’ve ever really thought about. Maybe it’s also if they have one of those annoying faces or voices. Or if they have a queer vibe. Look I’m not good with people ok.

Football or baseball?

Football but only because marching band and/or soccer

Favorite doughnut?

Okay this is going to sound weirdly specific but. Chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Also on a related note I once let a girl in high school copy my homework (that I myself had found the answers to on the internet, it was a really unfair English assignment). She was so happy that she said she’d buy me a donut for breakfast the next day (she made a donut run for herself once a week as a special treat). I gave her my oddly specific request, but since I knew it was kind of a rare donut to find I told her anything chocolate would work. The next day, lo and behold, she showed up with the perfect donut. She had them make it special for me (insert Discord’s pleading face emoji). That was the day I learned my lesson about judging “dumb blondes”.

What music are you listening to?

I’ve been back into Touhou doujin arrangements again lately, especially eurobeat. However I’m also hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog again so the game soundtracks and the Crush 40 albums are starting to show up in my frequent rotation on Spotify.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

The obvious choice is mint green but I could also very easily be a lime green or a glittery ruby slippers red.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I believe I talked to my grandma a little bit on my mom’s phone not that long ago? Other than that according to my phone it looks like I took a call from my dad back in April?

Hair color?

that real deep almost black brown. i nearly got into a fistfight with some boys in second grade who insisted my hair was black. it’s not black it’s just very thick. it actually looks much lighter if you just separate a smaller chunk and look at it.

Eye color?

Hazel. Brown with some green flecks. Or possibly green with some brown flecks. Also both of my irises look different up close but you can’t tell unless you’re really up in my face.

Favorite food to eat?

pasta but it can’t have red sauce

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way

Last film you watched in the cinema?

do you really expect me to remember this. i honestly do not fucking know. i have no brain when it comes to movie theaters. i was gonna do a double feature of birds of prey and the sonic movie the tuesday before spring break (cheap prices for students!!!) but i ended up having a headache that day so i couldn’t go and then shit hit the fan and there was no theatergoing. i have tried and failed to get my parents to rent the sonic movie since. i’m very unhappy about it now that i’m hyperfixating again.

What color shirt are you wearing?

well i think it used to be white but it’s really old so now it’s like off-white. also it has a big snake on the back. i don’t even like snakes i just enjoy this shirt.

Favorite holiday?

Christmas!!! I don’t necessarily actually enjoy celebrating the holiday (thanks fam) but I love the idea behind it and the aesthetics. Also it’s peppermint season!

Beer or wine?

Listen I am super picky about alcohol. I haven’t liked any of the wine I’ve tried, but the first two wines I had other people told me it was bad (and then they took me out and bought me alcohol I would actually like because I’d never drank before and apparently getting me tipsy in Ireland over spring break was an Honor for them I literally didn’t pay for a single drink that night) and the third wine I had was paired with the wrong type of food (we couldn’t get the Right wine bottle open). I didn’t really mind the beer I tried in Ireland though, so I guess beer? I really like cider best though, and apparently I can also handle vodka.

Night owl or morning person?

night owl i wish i could be nocturnal

Favorite day of the week?

Friday. It has all the joy and anticipation of the coming weekend without the curse of my dad being home or the responsibility of homework looming over everything.

Favorite animal?

HEDGEHOG yeah i never really got past that from when i was little. but i also just love pretty much all animals. except like. snakes and spiders but sometimes snakes have their moments.

Do you have a pet?

Yeah. We have a lot of “family” pets but I consider Patches (cat) and Gabby (dog) to be Mine Specifically. If my mom hadn’t forced me out of therapy I’d probably be bringing Patches with me to college next year as an emotional support animal.

Where would you like to travel?

Europe babey. I just wanna hang out in France and England and Scotland and also go back to Ireland. I miss Ireland so much y’all.

ok that’s it. that’s all for this one. i’m not tagging anyone because i’m sure it’s already made the rounds among everyone. but if it missed you and you still wanna do it go for it. consider yourself tagged. poof.

[ineffable0husbands]

For Lost Boy - one of my fav songs btw - here! :) He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe Believe in him and believe in me Together we will fly away in a cloud of green To your beautiful destiny As we soared above the town that never loved me I realized I finally had a family Soon enough we reached Neverland Peacefully my feet hit the sand

Warnings: Heights, flying, and a tiny bit of self doubt

Ship(s): Ineffable Husbands

Tag list: @adoratato @iamdevilantlysatan @bri-cas @that-gender-bender @scum-of-the-earth @pieces-of-annedrew @scampycat4999 @elrilsf @my-emo-child @always-reading2 @larrklopp @l-garnxtt @halbarryislife @ninjacatinsanitycrazy @impossiblynervouscycle e @audder17 @boredafsposts @i-really-dig-the-purple @mycrappylife01 @lostwolf-fandomlover r @hamiltrashphannerd @she-who-must-not-be-named @sundry-whovengerslocked @deceitfullyanxiousprince @booklover223 @whats--a--sexuality @drunkinfandomstuff f @catsarebestest t @sonic-spade @reprehensibleghost @to-dance-among-stars-in-dreams @afternoon-sunlight @danifandxm @oddpopsicle @rise-abxve @shipping—hell

Aziraphale loved the feeling of flying. The wind in his hair, the freedom of movement, it was all so wonderful. He loved flying beside the love of his life even more.

Crowley laughed and spun in the air, shooting upwards like a rocket, his black wings splayed out. His eyes were closed as he grinned widely, letting himself freefall until he almost hit the ground, swooping up at the last second. Aziraphale followed him closely, eventually catching up and grabbing his hand. Crowley opened his eyes and beamed at his angel, his eyes gleaming. If any humans saw them, all they would see were two magnificent birds dancing around one another that they couldn’t pin the name of.

“It’s been so long since I’ve flown!” Crowley said happily, holding Aziraphale’s hand tightly as they flew together. “Now that all those bastards are off our backs, we can do this whenever we want!” Aziraphale’s smile fell slightly at the mention of heaven and hell, and Crowley must have been able to tell because he squeezed his angel’s hand. “Hey. Angel, look at me.” Aziraphale did as he was told. Crowley looked at him with soft eyes. “You don’t need to worry about them anymore. It’s just you and me now, love. For the rest of eternity.” Aziraphale’s smile returned and the two hovered in the air for a moment, foreheads pressed together.

“I love you, Crowley,” Aziraphale said softly, eyes opening to look into his demon’s gorgeous golden irises. Crowley’s eyes crinkled in a smile and he kissed Aziraphale’s forehead.

“I love you too. More than you could ever know.” The moon watched and the stars shone with joy as the angel and the demon shared a sweet kiss, holding one another as they soared through the air. They only needed each other, and that was that. Heaven and Hell couldn’t stop them if they tried.

[ialwayscomewhenyoucall]

Yellow

nine x rose

~2.2k words

*

“Ready!”

“Doctor...”

The Doctor squeezes Rose’s hand--as well as he can, bound as they both are. Mostly he squeezes her fingertips.

“Aim!”

Around twenty men and women, their skin gleaming golden in the sunlight, aim arrows at them.

“Doctor!”

Rose’s voice is barely a squeak. He cannot turn his head to look at her, so he puts every reassuring tone he can into his voice as he says, “Do you trust me?”

He feels her body calm beside him.

“Yeah.”

“Fire!”

The arrows loose.

*

three hours earlier

“Wrong again, Doctor. You said you were taking us somewhere blue.”

Rose follows Jack out of the TARDIS, shading her eyes from the bright sunlight. “Jack’s right, Doctor. Not blue. Rather yellow, actually.” The TARDIS is parked in a wide field of golden, waist high grain, waving gently under a bright yellow sun. Even the sky has a yellowish tint to it.

The Doctor pokes his head out the door. “This is definitely not right. Not enough water, for one thing. Hold on.” Jack and Rose stand amid the tall grain while he darts back to the console; they hear him pressing buttons and wiggling something and muttering to himself. After a minute or so he shouts out at them. “I was aiming for Rikon 7. Lots of water, blue grass, blue trees, most everything is blue. Even a particularly friendly bluish animal that looks like a cross between a rabbit and a squirrel. Lovely place. But this is Sapiarbok. I know nothing at all about this planet. Except that it seems to be rather yellow, as you say. And my ship--” he punctuates this by poking hard at a button--“isn’t being very helpful.”

Rose and Jack exchange a look at his last comment, laughing silently. They enjoy when the Doctor and his TARDIS have little tiffs.

But then he’s there, striding out of the TARDIS, jacket billowing. “Come on. Let’s have a look. We can’t learn anything if we don’t explore.”

They follow, of course.

*

It’s about a mile walk to what seems to be the nearest town. The Doctor leads, says he can “smell civilization,” whatever that means. Rose and Jack just let him get on with it when he says things like that, especially when to them the entire landscape looks flat and golden. But he’s right; it’s not long before they start to see smudges on the horizon, and soon the smudges reveal themselves to be trees and buildings. When they get close enough they see that even the trees have golden leaves. “Scrooge McDuck would love this place,” Rose quips, but no one appreciates the joke.

And then there are the people, who soon emerge from fields and buildings to see the strangers. They have all shades of hair color--black, brown, blond, even a few orangey-red. But their skin is a pale yellow, the color of parchment or lemon chiffon, and Rose gasps when the sunlight hits them just right. “They sparkle!” she whispers to Jack. “It’s like they have glitter in their skin!”

Before Jack can reply, the Doctor steps between them, throwing his arms conspiratorially around the both of them. “Pretty amazing for humans, don’t you think?”

“Humans?” Jack and Rose ask in unison. They both stumble.

“Yes, humans,” says the Doctor, pulling them to their feet. “And shush, you don’t need to draw extra attention to us, there’s enough already.” He looks at Rose, then Jack, then back at Rose. “Didn’t I tell you it was a human colony? It’s the only bit of useful information I could get out of the TARDIS.”

Rose shakes her head. “Pretty sure we would have remembered that, Doctor.”

“And I don’t remember humans being quite so shiny,” Jack interjects. “Not last time I looked in the mirror, anyway.”

Pointing at Jack, the Doctor looks at Rose and says, “Why is he here again?”

Jack steps up close behind the Doctor, resting his chin on the Doctor’s shoulder. “Because you can’t resist my charm,” he says with a grin.

The Doctor rolls his eyes. Rose giggles.

“They’ve obviously evolved, Jack. This is an old colony. There must be some evolutionary advantage to the sparkly yellow skin, even if we can’t see it. Come on, let’s go make friends with the locals.”

Jack takes the lead with a swagger. “Allow me. I’m good at this part.”

“Should we pretend we don’t know him?” Rose asks the Doctor. He laughs; she takes his hand and they follow Jack into the town.

*

Rose lays back on the picnic blanket, groaning softly. “They really know how to take care of visitors here. I can’t remember the last time I ate like that.”

“They’re farmers,” says the Doctor. “They eat like that all the time. Good hearty bread, lots of protein, all specifically chosen to for energy and strength.”

“I meant they’re good cooks.”

“Ah. That too.”

They’d been welcomed by the townsfolk immediately, and with bright smiles. It turns out the small town is actually an outpost. There is a much larger, more modern city about thirty miles north, but they are alone out here, responsible for growing the aru-wheat that is the most consumed grain on the planet. As they’d walked into town, chatting about the wheat and their home, the visitors had been invited to a picnic lunch in the park in the center of town. “We always pack more than enough food.” “Off-worlders always land in the city, it’s wonderful to have someone new join us for a meal!”

Not long after they finished eating, Jack had wandered over, arms around the waists of a blond man on one side and a raven haired woman on the other. He winked at Rose then said, “Jacob and Isobel here are going to introduce me to the local pub. Wish me luck!” The Doctor had snorted. Soon after most of the locals had excused themselves--“lots to do, the northwest field is ready to plant!”--so Rose and the Doctor are alone on their blanket. A man and a woman work together quietly, picking up the remains of the meal. The Doctor fiddles with his sonic screwdriver, flipping it into the air and catching it just so so he can scan with it right off, as Rose stares through the tree branches at the strange yellow sky.

“There’s something odd about these trees.”

The Doctor doesn’t even look. “Yes, I noticed.”

She squints at the yellow, heart-shaped leaves and the long, wispy branches. “I can’t put my finger on what it is, though. They’re just...odd.”

He flips his sonic, scans again. “Look at the leaves.”

She stands, walks closer to the nearest tree. “What about them? I’ve never seen leaves that shape before, and the color is a bit strange, given it’s clearly summer, but everything seems to be yellow here. Even the buildings are yellow. The people even wear yellow clothes! But the leaves seem ordinary enough to me.”

“Look closer, Rose.”

She reaches a hand up toward a low branch. Then, suddenly, she jerks it back. “Doctor,” she says, shivering, “there isn’t any wind.”

“Nope.”

She walks backward to the blanket, still staring at the tree. “But those leaves are moving.”

“Yep.”

“Doctor?”

“The sonic is giving me very cryptic readings. It’s almost as if…” He makes a face, then points the screwdriver more directly at the nearest tree.

But the tree doesn’t like it.

It had been about eight feet away, but it somehow moves across the ground and plants itself directly in front of them. A whip-thin branch smacks the sonic out of the Doctor’s hand, sending it skidding across the ground. Rose, unthinking, jumps toward the tree, to put herself between it and the Doctor, ending up with a fistful of yellow leaves. There is a high pitched keening sound that seems to come from everywhere at once, and suddenly Rose and the Doctor are surrounded by sparkly humans.

“You have harmed a Tree.” The woman in front of them sounds more sad than anything.

“I--I’m sorry,” says Rose, still shaken. “I didn’t mean it. It startled me. Where I come from, back on Earth, the trees don’t move about like that.”

The woman nods, but no one backs away. “We protect the Trees. They give us the aru-wheat and our protection from the sun, and in return we offer them what little protection we can give.”

“Of course, the trees are sentient! Those are brain waves the sonic was picking up! Do they have a language? Do you actually speak with the--”

The woman’s glare stops him.

“Sorry. Not the time then. We’ll just collect Jack and be on our way?” He moves to take a step but the people move in closer to stop him, some brandishing farming implements, a few with knives.

“You have harmed a Tree. I’m sorry, truly sorry, but we have very strict laws. Your lives are forfeit.”

Rose hears a whooshing in her ears. She grips the Doctor’s hand more tightly--when did she take his hand?--and her mind goes somewhere else. She thinks of a birthday party when she was six, the pink overalls she wore, and the birthday cake with the white icing and little silver sprinkles on it. The silver things were hard, and hurt her teeth, but the icing was good.

“I won’t let them hurt you, Rose,” the Doctor murmurs, and she snaps back to the present, and the feel of his fingers twined with hers.

Her heart beats a little faster. Turning to look into his eyes, icy in the warm sunshine, she feels the truth of his words. She squeezes his hand and gives him a tiny smile. He nods.

They don’t need words.

*

But the next hour passes in a blur. Jack comes back from the pub, arms linked with yet another man, to find Rose and the Doctor being marched across the square. The smile slips from his face when he realizes their arms are tied behind their backs. “Sorry mate,” he says to the man beside him. “I think this is my cue.”

Unfortunately, even Jack’s smile and charm can’t sway the locals. The trees are a vital part of the population. To harm a tree is death. And before he knows it, Jack is whisked out of town. “We would spare you from witnessing the deaths of your friends,” he is told. Thankfully before he leaves the Doctor manages to catch his eye and nod toward the park. He mouths, “Sonic,” and Jack understands. Jack makes an excuse about dropping his favorite pen in the park. The Doctor rolls his eyes, but is pleased when he sees Jack retrieve his screwdriver on his way back to the TARDIS.

The Doctor and Rose are tied to a hitching post in front of large building, something like a town hall. All the locals file inside, even a few children. Everyone looks sad. No one meets their eyes. Side by side, they are left to stare at the faded yellow town.

“I counted fifty-two, including the children.”

Rose doesn’t answer.

“Doesn’t help much, but it’s good information to have.”

She gazes at the park, at the trees.

“The trees are really alive? Like, thinking alive?”

“I’ve never seen it before, but the universe is a big place. You saw how that tree moved. And those were definite brain waves the sonic was picking up. Astonishing. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, a tree goes and surprises you.”

A tear trickles down Rose’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt it, Doctor.”

He reaches with his fingertips and just manages to grip hers. “I know, Rose. I know.”

*

“Fire!”

The arrows loose.

Rose can see every one, can count the individual feathers on the ends as they fly towards them. It’s as if time itself has slowed down just so she can gather in every detail of her own execution.

And then there is a familiar grinding, wheezing noise, the Doctor lets out a loud whoop, and the TARDIS materializes around them.

“Took you long enough,” the Doctor says. Arrows thunk on the outside of the timeship. “Just had to be dramatic, Captain Jack. Had to wait until the last possible moment.”

“I don’t care,” says Rose. “Not a bit. Can you untie me please, Jack? That was too much, I can’t hold myself up anymore.”

Jack flips a switch on the TARDIS, sending her into the vortex. “It was a long walk. I actually had to run some of the way. And you’re lucky I’ve been learning to drive your ship, Doctor,” he says, going to work untying Rose’s bonds.

“Nah,” says the Doctor. “She’s a good girl. She would have taken you right where you needed to go even if you had no idea what you were doing. Which you probably didn’t.”

Finished with Rose, Jack stands over the Doctor. “Do you want me to untie you, or shall I just leave you there?”

Properly chastised, the Doctor grins. “Excellent timing, Jack. Well done. Glad to have you as backup.”

“Quite,” adds Rose, kissing Jack on the cheek.

“Do I get a kiss from you too, Doctor?” Jack asks with a wink.

“I’m not that easy,” the Doctor says. “Untie me first, then take me somewhere for dinner.”

Jack laughs.

“Not somewhere yellow, please.” Rose puts her hands over her eyes. “I’d like to avoid the color yellow for awhile, if you don’t mind.”

“It’s too bad, really,” muses the Doctor. “I’d like to get to know those trees…”

“Doctor!” Jack and Rose shout it at the same time.

“Right,” the Doctor says. “Best just to find a new adventure.”

**

for @doctorroseprompts 31 Days of Ficmas || day 29 - fire