#I need November to come NOW
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Hi
#I’m so normal about this#I totally didn’t tear up when i saw Violetta’s face reveal haha I reacted very nonchalantly#so… normal… hullabaloo… violetta.. lore.. totally didn’t care at all!!!!#idv violetta#soul weaver#tracy reznik#idv mechanic#I need November to come NOW#viotracy#since Tracy is apart of Violetta’s relations perhaps we will see them interact since that wasn’t touched upon yet..??#smiles
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#catherine tate#dw spoilers#you lost him!!!! but he's coming back to you!!!!!! ;A;#s c r e a m s#i need it to be november now!!!#ok but anyways today i've also been listening to some eighth doctor adventures#and i'm on ravenous 3 and it's been excellent!!!
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But like hypothetically if I decided to make a series of YouTube video breaking down and rambling about how I think the first year trio encompass the full gradient scale of what it means to be “morally good” and how by the end of the series they have grown exponentially but their moral inner workings are so entrenched in who they are they never needed to change they just became more of who they already were.
Because initially Yuuji wants to save the world in that abstract way all heroes do, Megumi is only interested in saving those he can save and Nobara is only interested in those she wants to save. And all these are treated as morally valid by the narrative and not really flaws in need of changing but instead philosophies in need of refining and understanding.
Because Jujutsu Society as a whole encourages and thrives off a moral apathy or superiority, they are in the business of killing curses not saving lives and that ultimately raises the question of if you’re going out there everyday killing curses and inadvertently saving lives does it really matter the reason why? Or the morality behind it? Maybe not to you but to the society, maybe.
So anyway, hypothetically ….would you be hypothetically interested👀
#this is me testing the waters of interest#I’ve been really toying with the idea of making a “the psychology of trilogy for these three for such a long time#but unfortunately I am a creature of procrastination#their moral philosophies and the spectrum they encompass is just so interesting to me#especially because yuuji who arguably has the most selfless philosophy is the only one constantly questioned on it#and having to reshape what the idea of it means to him and he more or less still comes up on the same side just slightly to the left#but I think for him now it’s more than some abstract promise to his grandfather to protect those that need protection#now it’s seeing the worst the world has to give the way people seem to be doomed by the narrative they were born in#and deciding to fight for them anyway#It’s why even after everything he still offers sukuna the chance to have another go round#a chance for a life filled with something more than curses#I don’t think the Yuuji at the beginning of jjk would have understood or done that.#Yuuji’s whole arc is kinda about becoming more of who you already were cracks and all.#don’t even get me started on my girl nobara#hopefully November will be my month#watch out world Kacie YouTube incoming#jjk#throwing thoughts to the void#jujutsu kaisen#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#yuuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#nobara#yuuji#jjk megumi#jjk yuji#itafushikugi
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Josh English, "On form"
#josh english#on form#poem#poetry#fragment#literature#.ttf#loading up the queue with snippets from poetry (november 2024) !#coming up to this poem and oaugh !!!!#its just so good#(also adding alt ids now bc i really needed to be doing that this whole time)
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I feel like instead of mellowing with age my emotional meltdowns are getting worse. And also a lot of things about me. are worse.
#i've had the wind in my sails these last couple of weeks#relatively#and then last night i just went to pieces#now i'm exhausted#but i can't afford to lose momentum just yet! i have a bunch of deadlines coming up! and someone visiting that i want to do stuff with#need to keep my spirits up somehow#i cannot! crash right now!#later. november is fine.#i can be a miserable zombie in november.
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like 🤝 fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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Potential November Reads
In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden
The Everlasting Man by G.K. Chesterton
Something by Charles Dickens
A nonfiction book
A piece of classic Russian literature
#monthly reading list#books#i've decided to make both lists because i'm in a 'obsess over all the options' mood#and this gets it out of my head#i've already mentioned brede#i plan to stick with it#i'm a couple chapters in and liking it so far#i've ordered 'everlasting man' from the library so i won't have to read my copy with horrendously small print#(after reading h.g. wells and seeing how nonsensical his view of human nature is from a christian perspective)#(i decided i needed to read chesterton's rebuttal to wells)#i've got dickens on here because despite spending october reading almost exclusively victorians#i came out of the month wanting to read some dickens#november has *strong* associations with 'great expectations' so i've got to see if some other dickens will satisfy the craving#if nothing else i got a volume of his christmas novellas out from the library and i may just have to give one a go#i need to read some nonfiction again (essays/apologetics don't count)#a top contender right now is 'the guns of august' because i found a used copy a couple months ago#and wwi is the perfect november nonfiction (oh that reminds me i should finish 'a hilltop on the marne')#and after reading victorians all month i need to read some classic literature from another country#and winter is a very russian-lit time of year#(the victober wrap up is coming btw)#(it's just that concisely summarizing these reading experiences takes a lot of time)
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are you guys all s;eeing this. Trhe new compendium cover,
#invincible#invincible comic#THE SUN IN THE BACKGROUND. OK!OK!OK!OK!OK!#IVEB EEN WAITING OFOR NEW CONTENT OF HIM FOREVER.....YOU DONT UNDERSTAND..IM CRAZY#grand regent thragg#thragg#no comment i can't say anything or i'll lose it at any given second. just take a look at this. please#清洁工碎碎念²#coming this november I CANT WAIT. I CANT WAIT TO HAVE IT. NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. i NEED HIM INEED HIM INEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEE#i have a lot to say about this actually but all those words are stuck in my throat.#just know that i'm losing my shit so intense at the symbolizing of the sun IJsll:?q?!?<w!
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)
like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it’d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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Ya'll I'm sorry but I'mma need The Heart Killers to come out yesterday. Pls and thank you!
#fr tho#like i'm dying waiting on this show#i need it now#get on it gmmtv#(yes i know abt it maybe coming out in november but that's way too far in the future for me)#the heart killers#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#khaofirst#khaotungfirst#joongdunk#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#joong archen#dunk natachai#gmmtv#gmmtv bl#gmmtv series#gmmtv drama#thai bl#thai drama#thai series#asian lgbtq dramas#jay's saying stuff :)#jay's talking BL ;)
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when they cancel plans to help you finish some games you’ve been stuck on for months 😭
#im excited honestly#I need to make room for zombies so I have a tonne of games to get through by october#i finished still wakes the deep last night and it was fucking great#a new face#I’m actually gonna buy it on ps5 I think#it’s literally outlast but make it lovecraftian#and easier cuz it was mad easy 😂#but I finished that#so gears and halo are next to finish#we’re doing halo first cuz I can’t bring myself to watch dom die yet#like seriously if halo reach fucked me up I can’t imagine how I’m getting react when don’s time comes#I’ve already seen it in lore videos#but playing it is so so different#and then I fucked myselfnon infinite and saved over my solo campaign with my co op campaign so that’s really annoying#I literally can’t play with now without co op#UNLESS#I have an idea but I don’t know if it’ll work#I’m gonna try and make a second save file of it so I can have my file back 😂#and THEN if i have time i only have like 3x races left in forza and im golden#but I also really wanted to unlock all the cars#realistically I should delete all my resi games since I have them on other consoles#but I’m stubborn 😁#but also genshin coming to xbox in november#im so fucking stoked#I need to just delete something off my ps5 so I can update it#I watched gamescom onl so now a fire is lit under my bum to finish everything for when new games come out#I swear i don’t have a problem
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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I need sapphic media recs NOW. Books preferred, but shows, webcomics, etc too. Just. Anything sapphic. Specifically cozy sapphic rather than sexy/ dramatic sapphic, but like. Also just give me your best recs, I've just not been good at finding good ones so far.
(I've been having my first crush that I've been aware of while it's happening, and I need an outlet for my pining other than writing gay yearning poetry and sharing crush posts to my close friends insta story on the off chance she'll see it)
#ive been very emo for like a month now#this crush started in like. october/ november area but it suddenly became more intense just before i graduated#and now i will likely never see her again 🙃#on the bright side the lesbian pop artists have really been coming through for me in my time of need#anyways ive been reading gay fiction as usual and i just. want it to be girls#please help i beg#lesbian#queer#cloudy rambles
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// My copy of YS X: Nordics has been delayed twice, and I don't feel like Amazon understands how much of a crime this is. How am I supposed to stare at and admire one (1) Adol Christin if my game isn't here?!
#[ first it was supposed to get here tomorrow the 28th#now it's not expected until the 5th of November. amazon plz.#this was one of my most anticipated games. >_> but i guess it's okay.#i still need to finish refantazio AND sonicxshadow AND Dragon Age comes out on the 31st#but still. >______>;;; TWO DELAYS??? ]#ooc ; out of character
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today I have learned that instead of fighting against the urge, you just have to embrace it.
sacrificing one so that the other shall truly shine.
#this had made me realize that I need better planning#and writing after just meeting your fam after so long is just so so different#especially if it's the same character#but I know that I want to write#so now I will change my goal#and write from the draft of the fic that comes after Fight for Me#November will be a longg month
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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