#I miss being gay scientists Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[benetnvsch]

I am so ill DJHDKHDK

[hello-nichya-here]

Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

[clownhara]

is there like a jester ocs 101 i do wanna learn about them

Putting these under a read more because this might get long

My family :)

Edward Roberts-Rosales: I made too many jokes about this bastard being my dad and now he's my dad. High key wants to fuck plants. Evades taxes like no ones business. Kind of a shit guy but it's funny to watch him mess up everything so we keep him alive for that alone Max Rosales: My better dad. Can really do so fucking much better than Edward but he settled </3. Is a plant man. Likes baking. Is the dad that actually loves me. Heron Rosales: I don't do to much with her but I'm trying to do more. Max's trans sister. Wants Edward dead and honestly, we don't blame her. Average chronic pain haver tbh please get her some Ibuprofen. Boaty McBoatface: My brother who is a boat. Edwards favorite son, despite being terrified of being on boats after he was the sole survivor of a ship wreck. I fuckinh hate this thing

Project Moon adjacent ones

Despise Domek (Or just Des): Local Enkphalin hooked rat. Goes by it/they but people close to it can call them she/her. There are two remaining people who can call them she/her. Steals things from people it likes to keep a piece of them, so don't invite them to your house. Things WILL go missing. Says the phrase "Well it didn't kill me so I'm fine" way to god damn often. Ambrose Domek: Not actually related to Des at all his parents just stole Des's parents last name. We heart religious fanaticism to the point of self harm!!!!!! Has two boyfriends and has convinced himself neither of them like him. Him and Des are besties :) Keith: Real Jester-heads remember Keith. I made this bastard before Ruina came out and he keeps fucking staying relevant to whatever game is out. How does he do it. Lobcorp him is Geb and Myo's adopted son, a Rabbit, and had a complex where he's gotta prove himself 24/7 and ends up getting his leg ripped off. Ruina him is trying to find Gebura again after the whole Library situation happened, and is wildly distraught after learning Myo's whole deal. Limbus Keith is content, much older, runs a weapons shop, and is gay married to Heathcliff. Jesus Christ I made him before the new translation of Lopcorp happened I think HOW LONG HAS HE EXISTED WHAT THE FUCK

Damien Domek: Also not related to Des, just took it's last name because he liked it. They are qprs though. Also is broke as shit but mostly stays out of the Rat lifestyle by just old fashioned robbing people. Loves lying to people for fun and profit, but he is honestly a pretty nice guy. Minus the lying

Randos

Arlo: Disgusting rancid cyborg scientist who needs to bathe and touch grass. I adore him though. Ellie: Arlos little sibling. She/they user. Kills people for money and feeds the bodies to the eldritch horror that follows her around Hector: The eldritch horror that follows Ellie around. usually just looks like a dilf tbh its easier for Ellie to explain. Can't actually speak so he usually just talks telepathically while making a bunch of hums, chirps, and clicks to mimic speaking.

Oleander: Local unethical scientist that unethicaled a bit too hard when trying to revive his even worse older brother and turned off most of his emotions manually to avoid coping with the mental toil. Sad! Many such cases. Can't feel any emotions other then joy now. Kinda sucks but he certainly doesn't seem to upset about it :)

Simon: Oleadners brother. Kinda. Moreso a robot piloting Oleanders brothers body. Fucking hates Oleander but after Oleander lobotomized himself Simon begrudgingly takes care of him now. Despite his complicated feelings, he's wildly overprotective.

Cybel: A robot Oleander made! They are meant to gather as much information as they possibly can in case some horrible event happens that kills off humanity. is quite literally indestructible. Likes ice cream.

Octavius: I made this guy to be a danganrompa villain back in high school and I succeeded too well. I fucking hate this fake ass bitch

Tabb: This fucking guy. Trapped in a time loop but he doesn't know and its technically not a time loop. Met his (now) husband ages ago but died shortly after meeting him, so he revived Tabb, then the two got married, then Tabb died again so Halt (the husband) revived him again but he lost his memories then halt died and Tabb revived him the Tabb died again so Halt revived him but he lost all his memories so they dated again and got remarried then Tabb died again and you get the idea. Very nice guy, a bit anxious, perfectly normal minus the dying thing. If it wasn't for him losing all his memories and Halt tampering with shit so he was in love with him i uh. Don't think he'd actually like Halt all that much tbh

Halt: Just wants to be happy with his husband :(. Sad he unethicaled all over that science. Hey are you noticinga theme here. Also he's a cat boy but thats really not relevant to his depression issues

Urge: Halts kinda milfy twin sister. Really sick of all of this loop bullshit because she gets to watch her bestie Tabb die repeatedly, so she packed up her bags and left. Can't be in the same room as Halt without them getting into a fist fight. Do you see the themeing with their namesan d their ideals. Halt is kinda halted in place but Urge keeps pushing forward because she has the urgeto move on. Do you see it. It is almost 1 am

Russel: A kid that got roped into this whole mess because he walked in on a Tabb revival tube without permission. Sticks around Urge most of the time. Had a bad homelife to put it mildly, so Urge took him in.

Theres way more of these bastards but these are the most relevant ones. I am going to bed now. Goobnight

[weirdmageddon]

yesterday i wrote a scene where jade wasnt a plot device and was left the hell alone in A6A5 because this being dave and jade’s last proper conversation in years made me sad and i wanted to see them reunite properly. i mixed a bit of narration in too even though it was rare around this point in the comic but its just to paint a better picture. also i wouldnt mind feedback on character voice (it’s important to me that the dialogue sounds believable)

[3 years are over, everyone is in the new session. The prospit ship is on LOMAX, as is everyone who arrived on the meteor, safely warped by Jade onto LOMAX as well. Jade has banished B2 Jack to the Furthest Ring already. She hasn't seen her friends in 3 years, not to mention she never met the trolls in person yet.]

[Jade teleports to LOMAX where John was talking with the meteor crew. Her eyes widen when she sees the trolls, giving everyone a greeting. Jade waves to the trolls.]

You’ll have time to catch up with them later. First you want to reconvene with Rose and Dave.

> ==>

Dave... Oh my god! DAVE!!! That’s right! The last time you saw him, he died in your arms after Jack redirected the bullets from your gun into his body!

JADE: dave!!!! DAVE: hey DAVE: this has been three years coming hasnt it DAVE: cmere

> ==>

[Dave hugs Jade with a slight grin on face. He notices her… sniffing him?? but doesn’t even bother to question it.]

JADE: it is so nice to hold your body when its not a corpse :) DAVE: ok DAVE: weird thing to say DAVE: actually who am i kidding who gives a shit DAVE: i almost forgot how much i missed the enigmatic riddlefuckery that is your phrasing DAVE: fortunately i have context for this so i know what youre saying DAVE: humor me for a sec and imagine that i didnt DAVE: but first DAVE: are those dog ears JADE: yes! i am part dog now JADE: because i prototyped my dreamself with becsprite JADE: jadesprite became part of me! and so did her doggy traits from bec DAVE: got it DAVE: oh yeah john mentioned that on the back of his dumb poster inside that bucket that appeared out of thin air DAVE: right before we had to haul ass out of there before jack caught up to us DAVE: karkat had a complete fucking meltdown over that btw i wish you couldve seen it DAVE: damn it feels like so long ago now JADE: heheheh i remember JADE: john realized it at the last second but it was too late! DAVE: of course it was johns idea only he could do something that gooberish DAVE: you know what this means though JADE: yup!! woof woof DAVE: it means youve done it harley DAVE: youve finally done it god damn it DAVE: the evolution of humankind is finally upon us DAVE: the scientists said it would never happen in our lifetime DAVE: but look what we have here DAVE: before me stands mans first legitimate furry subspecies DAVE: homo canis DAVE: as the name implies theyre gay as fuck btw DAVE: its too bad all those scientists are dead and cant witness this phylogenetic breakthrough DAVE: rip to the science community yall wouldve lost your collective shit DAVE: hey jade lets pour one out for the science community for being real ones

> ==>

You are still nestled into Dave’s shoulder. He’s taken a sort of protective position over you. Your perceptive barkbeast ears can hear his formerly bullet-riddled heart beating a mile a minute with the regularity of quartz beneath his time-branded pajamas, all the while he continues to ramble to you about certifiably dumb shit. You can tell Dave is psyched to see you again, even if he expresses it in his OWN bizarre way, which means extended metaphors and topical tangents. What a hypocrite, calling YOUR phrasing perplexing! You sure missed this guy.

You realize you started tuning him out while thinking about all this.

DAVE: jade JADE: umm homo is the species name JADE: so wouldnt that mean were all gay? :p DAVE: yeah that sounds about right DAVE: anyway enough of this bullshit

> ==>

[Dave motions to retract his arms since he doesn’t want it to get too weird, but Jade squeezes tighter. Dave immediately yields to the movement]

DAVE: jesus wow ok DAVE: really happy to see you too DAVE: like if you had a tail it would be wagging so forcefully youd be knocking over all the fucking furnishings in the room DAVE: just slapping it so hard on the owners thigh that it feels like theyre being flogged DAVE: talk about getting bitch slapped JADE: :D DAVE: so howve you been JADE: really really excited to see you guys all again!!! JADE: and to meet the trolls! DAVE: yeah theyre pretty weird DAVE: and im still not used to it DAVE: but it gets more manageable the longer youre around them DAVE: by the way JADE: ?

> ==>

DAVE: sorry you had to go through that JADE: through what? DAVE: seeing me die and stuff again DAVE: except that time right in front of you JADE: .... DAVE: when we were gathering up all those frogs i knew jack was going to appear DAVE: i was waiting and waiting to play it out DAVE: mentally rehearsing my fucking torso getting turned into swiss cheese and knowing you would have to watch on top of it DAVE: i had to make sure it happened to protect the integrity of the alpha timeline DAVE: but if you knew this was going to happen you wouldve tried to prevent it and created a doomed one DAVE: and so i didnt say anything DAVE: i couldnt DAVE: so DAVE: sorry for putting you through that JADE: oh..... JADE: dave D: JADE: well im here JADE: if you ever want to talk about it DAVE: its cool DAVE: you just deserve to know what happened there DAVE: but thanks DAVE: so am i JADE: yeah i know JADE: i guess i should be glad you did that then... JADE: even though i was freaking out when it happened ._. JADE: otherwise you wouldnt be here will us now dressed in your red god tier time pajamas DAVE: yeah these magical rags really are comfortable arent they DAVE: and they stay like perma clean JADE: they are! i would wear mine over and over for days on end JADE: id take a nice shower and put it right back on JADE: and you know how much i love cycling my outfits through my wardrobifier JADE: by the way dave your cape is sooo cool! :o DAVE: thanks DAVE: yeah i love it its hella soft DAVE: its like ive got a portable snuggle blanket with me in case i ever need to drop to the floor like a tired sack of shit and get my snooze on DAVE: ive got a permanent personal reservation at club bed featuring dj pillow and mc blanky JADE: heheheh JADE: can i touch your cape? DAVE: of course go nuts JADE: yaaaay!!

[virtuouswhitehatorganization]

Heroes And Villains Who Totally Would Have A Big LGBT Fanbase (Even If They Are Not LGBT Themselves)

Heroes

Goldheart

Given he has a big fanbase I wouldn't be surprised and many speculate about his sexuality to the point it ranges from thinking he's gay to pansexual. Also the tons of shipping people have had between him and Flug despite being archnemeses. And again I totally see him getting into LGBT activism for both clout and because he secretly is a member.

2. Miss Heed

Given how popular she is through social media, I like to think she would be open about her status of about what canon sexuality she has (which I think is bisexual). She probably uses her status to get clout when it's pride month and proclaims how active she is in being a good LGBT activist. Also she loves to pander to anyone who can give her love and attention from any source.

3. Omega Nuclear

He's just straight ally incarnate he just would be the best supportive person he can be from my oc sidekick of his, Green Rod to his fellow former partner, Miss Heed, before he brainwashed him. He totally has a LGBT fanbase who again probably are bara fans and he doesn't mind them unless they are pairing him with Coyote.

4. Airlock

Probably isn't in tuned with her fanbase, but I do think some would find her an icon due to her butch look. She probably would be apathetic and ignore it and would probably do something mean to them like she did with that PEACE agent forcing them to give them their belongings to her.

5. Sunblast

Like Omega Nuclear, he's total bara bait for many people. I like to think before his capture by Penumbra he really loved to pander for the LGBT fanbase for clout and didn't really think much about being an ally except it can boost his image.

Villains

Flug

Why the bagged top scientist of Black Hat because seriously he was Goldheart's arch nemesis and again you know people were shipping them? Also people wonder what is under that bag and like to think there is a cute face. Also we all totally think he's into guys in addition to girls. He probably gets flustered he gets this kind of attention.

2. Miss Valdoom

Given she's called the "Evil Queen" I think she would love attention from any source. I like to think she would love to be admired by her beauty by both men and women. Also this line here they mention how it's laughable she would fall for Heed, so it indicates that Miss Valdoom is attracted to women. And again Illuminarrow was going all starry eyed at her so totally has a LGBT fanbase.

3. Coyote

I see this guy as straight, but I totally see him having a fanbase of LGBT people who are into the bara scene and he fits the image. Also again you can't go wrong with a guy who does leather. I do think he would find it an ego boost he's got some sort of notoriety with a specific crowd it gives more villain cred. However, like his archnemesis, Omega, he probably doesn't like being paired with him. I also think he would be a straight ally and encourage the "Be Gay, Do Crime" rebellious thing.

4. Demencia

Even though she's obsessed with Black Hat, I don't think that would stop her from having admirers in the villainous community. I totally see her as bi with a target on Black Hat (who she totally would love regardless if he was presenting himself male or female). She's probably indifferent since they aren't Black Hat, but probably calls them perverts who get off her kicking ass and taking names.

5. Metauro

Straight ally with a huge LGBT fanbase which comes with the same reason as his fellow villain Coyote which is he's bara bait. I like to think he's very interactive with his fanbase and also makes jokes about himself and why they would find him attractive. He also tries to use his fanbase to spread awareness about cruelty to bulls and how to prevent it.

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

Virtual Character Tourney - Battle for 5th!

Propaganda below (May contain spoilers!)

P03 propaganda:

bro literally is stuck in a floppy disk and its whole goal is to perform 'the great transcendence' and upload the game its trapped in into the web to copy itself across the entire internet in attempts to be in charge

Ultraman X propaganda:

X canonically lost his physical form and lives in Daiichi's phone. His presence caused Daiichi's phone to turn gold, instead of the standard-issue silver the rest of XIO's employees have. It's possible for XIO's scientists to send powerups to X because he lives on Daiichi's phone. There's also a couple episodes where X gets trapped in cyberspace and Dr. Gourman and friends have to design something for Daiichi to help him escape. (Dr. Gourman is the first to notice Daiichi is secretly Ultraman X. Also in the crossover movie, Daiichi and X got separated and X couldn't live on Daiichi's phone so he jumped to the nearest computer (which belonged to Naomi from Ultraman Orb, air date 2016) and began pulling up photos of Daiichi in a "Have You Seen This Nerd?" sort of way. The enemy goons saw Naomi and her cryptid hunting gang putting up missing posters for Daiichi and tore them down bc they had him captured at their crystal witch's base, a creepy haunted house. Eventually when Daiichi and X reunited as man and lil alien on his phone, they were so happy they ignored everyone else in the room. They were grateful enough to fight alongside Naomi's sad space cowboy, Kurenai Gai, in battle.

He's used the phone's vibration function a few times to try and get people's attention, and he doesn't like being turned face-down because he can't see. In order to take on a physical form he has to essentially fuse with his human partner Daichi. (also they get a power up form after Daichi nearly Dies to save him and it's rainbow themed.) While X is very chatty and enjoys talking with his partner, he's often a formless voice while they're fused.The exception being one occasion where he looks like an entire network. tldr this alien is gay he is very polite and deserves your vote.

HAL 9000 propaganda:

One of the most iconic AI villains

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

Giffany propaganda:

Pink hair

The blueprint for both Five Nights At Freddy's and Doki Doki Literature Club

in one episode of gravity falls soos plays a dating game to get better at social skills and the main girl in the game is sentient and falls in love with him. then soos becomes interested in a real woman and giffany takes about 3 seconds to start possessing animatronics and trying to kill them both. girlboss

[fexalted]

watching tos for the first time since like, roughly 2012/13-ish? i don't remember what year it was, or why i only got thru most of season 1 before stopping

it's been fun to refresh my swiss cheesed memory with this tho so here's a semi-liveblog of the first 10 eps that i watched over the past couple weeks

1x01 - the man trap

things i remembered beforehand:

salt monster

"plum" uwu

that gay little run and crawl jim does when he's taking cover (it fills me with such delight)

things i did not remember:

how many people died, good god man it's only the first episode

1x02 - charlie x

things i remembered:

jim's bright red exercise pants

that stupid fucking face charlie makes when he uses his powers

not liking this ep at all when i first watched it, possibly due to me being around the same age as charlie at the time

additional thoughts: i enjoyed it more this time and felt more sympathetic for charlie. poor kid needed some parents, and also, like, a hug

1x03 - where no man has gone before

things i remembered:

bones isn't in it :'( (bored) (sad) (missing my bestie)

"James R Kirk"

that post i saw on here recently about how their contacts were made of glass

the only thing i could think about while watching:

their contacts

were made

of GLASS

(yes i understand this was how contacts were made back then. still freaked out by the concept of people putting glass in their eyes on purpose)

1x04 - the naked time

things i remembered:

sweat disease

sulu fencing

oh kathleen

"ONE-MORE-TIME!!"

"love mankind"

spock breakdown (extremely uncomfortable to watch)

bones casually ripping jim's shirt sleeve to jab him in the arm (extremely hilarious every time i think about it)

did not remember:

anything about them almost crashing into a planet lol

jim's little monologue when he gets infected (lmao)

time warp???

additional thoughts: hey remember when they reused this plot in tng and tasha and data fucked (<- literally the only thing i can remember about it) ((edit from future fex: i rewatched that ep. it was wild. tos did it better tho))

1x05 - the enemy within

things i remembered:

unicorn dog :)

evil kirk and poor little meow meow kirk

"I'M CAPTAIN KIRK!!!"

things not remembered:

dog dies :(

evil kirk's killer eyeliner

additional thoughts: say what you will about shatner / his acting but this ep is Peak shatner performance and a lot of fun to watch. he put his whole pussy into it, as the kids say these days

1x06 - mudd's women

things remembered:

could not forget harry mudd if i tried

the women are color coded like the powerpuff girls lol

they're also like, on some kind of drug that keeps them looking young or something

cool costumes tho

i don't have much to say about this one lol, harry's a fun character but the rest of the ep wasn't super interesting to me. did finally learn how to pronounce "ophiuchus" tho so i'll thank it for that

1x07 - what are little girls made of

things remembered:

is this the penis rock episode (it is)

uhhh i think kirk gets put into some kind of spinny machine that makes androids (he does)

more cool costumes (debatable)

things i find funny:

the number of planets we've encountered so far that are populated by like. 2-4 people

the way ruk (the big guy) just picks up and throws kirk like he weighs nothing

so much buildup with kirk and the penis rock and he doesn't even get to hit ruk over the head with it smh

also not a funny moment but i liked the way kirk was able to get a message to spock thru the android kirk, v clever

wait i just realized bones wasn't in this ep either. deducting 1/4 of a star from my mental rating bc i missed him (but apparently not that much)

1x08 - miri

remembered:

planet of children (bc everyone else died of terminal puberty)

"no blah blah blah!"

bones tests his newly discovered, untested cure on himself, in true mad scientist fashion (also spones moment <3)

saw this ep on a "what's your fave 'bad' episode" poll here recently and i can't remember if i thought it was good or bad when i first watched it lol

forgot:

another earth?? there's just a second, identical earth floating around out there?? and (of course) they don't mention it at all for the rest of the episode

300 year old children

oh these kids are so much more annoying than i remembered, however i may just be biased bc i don't like kids shfkshfk

1x09 - dagger of the mind

remember:

absolutely nothing! oh boy!

thoughts:

wow this ep is fucked up!

okay actually i don't think i've seen this one at all before?

usually there'll be moments that jog my memory but the only thing even slightly familiar to me was kirk going "helen don't go!" while in the neutralizer chair, but i could've just seen a clip/gif of it before

i remember skipping episodes in season 1 (i was impatient and wanted to get to city on the edge of forever) but i thought i'd at least made it to halfway thru the season before skipping any

anyway did i mention this ep is fucked up? (star trek really does love to drop an absolutely haunting 50 minutes of television on you and then never address it again, i understand this now. roll credits!)

1x10 - the corbomite maneuver

remember:

uhh

there's a thing out there

it's in the way

preventing them from boldly going, even

looks like an old windows screensaver

i might've skipped this ep too now that i think about it

thoughts:

cute mckirk moment in sickbay :3

i love that this cube has its own theme music whenever its on screen

oh shit it's the sequel to cube: orb

jesus christ that's a big orb

man they really said "okay we've got 3 music tracks and we're gonna get our money's worth out of them"

i gotta say this ep slaps tbh—WAIT HE'S A BABY???

LITTLE BABY MAN

LMAOOOOO

honestly great episode tho i'll stand by that

[scr-ppup]

Coinfight prep info. Team villains

I'm going to already tell y'all I'm a throughout guy lol and this is fuckig long. Feel free to check around idk, it consists of things about me and so on like last year. It's big to give people an idea for things to coin and what I'm good with being included in and so on. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll at least try to answer.

Lil nitpick info btw

- I will most likely be making primarily alterhuman or general non-gender specific related flags. That's been happening quite a lot recently so might continue on that path lol.

Edit: related to the upper text, I'm focusing on gender flags instead since I wanna get back to gender coining again. :)

- Please ask me for a revenge chain if you wish to do one. Since my school starts at the same week of the event, I'm not sure how well my spoons will hold up and I don't want to end up leaving anyone on the shore with a started revenge chain lol.

- I'm more than welcoming of combo, themed, and non-gender flags and terms, this including from aldernic & dissos, to misce to orientation & MAD related flags.

///

So starting on interests & themes

- medias; Ninjago & dragons rising, Voltron legendary defender, Arknights, CoD franchise, criminal minds, subway surfers, code 8 & part 2, BNHA, school bus graveyard webcomic, the blank city webcomic,

— character specific; Subway surfers; frank, miss Maia. Criminal minds; Aaron hotchner & Spencer Reid. CoD franchise; the shadow company & KorTac (Phillip Graves, Velikan), the konni group (Makarov), Terminus Outcomes (Sona "keres" Mirzoyan). Ninjago; Garmadon, pythor, the dragons, the wolf clan, the stone army. SBG; Ashlyn & Logan.

- Bands; Hollywood undead, fall out Boy, class animals, new medicine, arrested youth, get scared, Jann, Kesha, ashnikko, femtanyl, creepP, odetari, scene queen, derivakat, graveyard guy, arctic monkeys, poor man's poison, ado, Luluyam, set it off, the ooze, jazmin bean, baby bugs, cassytte, and lustsickpuppy,

- I enjoy splatterpunk, medical horror and generally horror themed things. Also gorey and macabre art and literature, devotional love to someone or an entity and self destruction for that love.

- animals: reptiles; bearded dragons (pogonas) especially!! (<- owner of pogonas vitticeps) Snakes. Raccoons, opossums, hyenas, jackals, magpies, ravens, cats. Pitbulls, greyhounds, borzois, dobermans.

- medical themes are welcome, no cutesy nurse-related things though. When I mean medical, I mean combat/field medic and doctor professions specifically with themes related to my interests. Also mad and cruel scientists !! :3

- taxidermy, hunting, bones, dead Animals & mysticism behind that. grotesque, death, suffering, and whump themes are more than welcomed.

- apocalyptic and scavenger themes, gas masks, apocalyptic fashion

///

Identity;

Gender labels and related; genderqueer, genderless, demi(gender)fluid, androgyne, boynymgirl, cisneutral, muttgender, divinemutt, whumpgender, theorpangender, gendervir

Lurkerian, Slasherval, marvlaen, Hazexiv, Exulancian, Gorture, limerencial, homipavren, lectence, dimensen, altumen

Mōna transmasculine, transandrogynous, and transneutral. (Thistle) femmetwink, green anole, mutt, pedigree, flying lemur leaning raccoon, lasiurus, black squirrel, jumping spider, opossum, harbringer, final person, chinchilla, GNC, tomboy.

Orientation labels; achilligirl, sapphic achillean/sapphillean, gay, quroplatonic & queerplatonic, Apothderium attraction, euclidean aroace, aroacespec, sunne lesbian, tulipian.

MAD stuff: ADHD (heavily suspected by self & family), AVPD-ish, religious delusions, social anxiety, social anhedonic, MADD adjacent immersive daydreaming. sleep issues. (I'm also hypermobile with a fucked up knee and get bouts of chronic pain due to this and costochondritis lol.)

Alterhumanity related labels; nonhuman, transspecies, paraanthro, alteranthro, holothere, fictionkin. Immersive. Lith.

If needed, undercut is the whole list of what I am for individual things. It also features info of my misceverse identity at the very bottom. Okay, bbyyeee.

///

Alterhumanity

Alterhuman (preferring nonhuman terminology instead of alterhuman), transspecies, otherkin, and holotheres and such. I'm polykin and my alterhumanity spans morely from neurodiversity, attachments, disconnections, and trauma (I'd describe that as being apothane). I also use plenty of dissodic and aldernic terms.

Specifics —

Holotheres; undead, zombie, apocalyptic scavenger, medic, Ashlyn banner (from school bus graveyard.). Creature/cryptid, eldritch (mimic that mimics humans), faceless, glicthed & winged being separately. Hostiakind/hostiaen, immortal. Mutt/hound, hound-/dog-/puppyboy hybrid/kemonomimi. Kalma.

fiction; Sentinel, lycanwing, monstrous nightmare, and speed stringer (from HTTYD & HTTYD:RTTE). Logan Fields (from School bus graveyard). Pidgey and the green and red lions from Voltron. Fictional/mythological canines such as blink pup, and hiiden hurtta-adjacent. MC spectator (Minecraft). Lucario, poochyena, and Houndoom + Houndoom/onyx cross (pokemon).

Deityfolk related; deity of death & medicine (generally medicine, medical areas, knowledge, and practices) and deity of crossroads and the lost. Eldritch deity. Hostiaen/hostiakind (sacrificial specifically). Oracle & immortal, death omen and harbringer.

Therian/animal types: African wild/painted dog, jackal, mutt/hound, manned wolf. Hyena, wolverine. Magpie, sparrowhawk. Eels.

Concept; violent death/surma, immortality, eternity & winter conceptkin.

Alterhuman; infected/plagued, apocalyptic scavenger, polymorph, merfolk (apocalyptic merfolk, carrion [feeder] merfolk, scavenger merfolk). Revenant, time traveler.

Transspecies specifics: undead, werewolf, African wild/painted dog, mutt, dogthing/boy, zombiez

—

Undead, unholy, ghostly, folkloric, celestial nonhuman & alteranthro and paraantrho. Anjesque but not angel.

Species specific: Morima, calamoer, drakemoian (specifically fear & melancholy drakemoians), eldrorian, aniluma, korathioner; chioner & vathmer specifically, but relation to koramer. Suianis. canithrope.

Animas; Eternity, eldritch & eldritch mer, immortal,

Eitments; eldritch, eternity, void,

Emsouls; eldritch, mutt, Lurkerian,

Emotionalink to crows & ravens.

///

Misceverse identity;

Misceverse for those who may take interest in coining;

Dynamics; dynamic fluid, but primarily Iota & anull (In my verse Iota is described to be beta aligned Omegas, and the individuals of this dynamic may also be called "iota omegas" without being a bidynamic since that's related to temperament and behavioral patterns, nitpick info lol.); Guardogdynic (guard dog),

Scents; scentfluid! bitter herb, peppermint, cherry, violent death, blood & smoke, wet dog, petrichor, lavender, ocean, corvidae, otherwordly corvidae, metal, gunpowder, death/rot, carrion, melancholy, (Primary scent is bitter herbs, cherry, and peppermint.)

Behavior: jumping spider, eldritch, merfolk. Otherwise den maker & denning iota,

[olliegearloosecabrera]

Ok so, I decided to add some facts about The Trio so people can know more about them. (TW Sexual, mental, and physical abuse; Mention of P!lls and E@ting D!sorder and depression)

Sean:

Sean is actually from Mexico and can speak Spanish fluently. He still keeps up with some Mexican traditions sometimes.

Sean is A junior Woodchuck Like Huey. That's how he met Huey.

Sean is in love with Huey. (My head canon for Huey is that he's Bi)

Sean Loves reading and writing. He wants to be a writer in the future. Sean also loves science, like Oliver

Sean is a huge nerd.

He is also a Darkwing Duck fan

Sean actually gets adopted by Drake and Launchpad and becomes the adopted brother of Gosalyn

Sean's birth parents disowned him for being gay🙄

Sean's pronouns are He/him

Sean's favorite music artist is Cavetown.

Sean's birthday is on June 16

Benji:

Benji is a HUGE theatre kid and a funny kid. He wants to be on Broadway and also wants to be a comedian when he gets older.

Benji is Omnisexual. ( Which means he likes any gender but has a preference.)

Benji is In love with Dewey. ( My headcanon for Dewey is that he's Pan)

(this is going to be traumatic TW abuse of 3 kinds) Benji's mom and her boyfriend physically, mentally, and sexually abused him.

Benji's mom also killed his dad and older siblings, and his mom threatened that if he called the police he would be killed too.

Benji has Major depression and hides it very well, and he goes to therapy.

Benji takes anti depressive pills.

Benji is basically the funny friend who doesn't talk about his feelings and mental state bc he doesn't want to seem selfish.

Benji also has a eating disorder but gets better after a while of knowing Dewey.

Benji's mom and her boyfriend are in jail for all the things they did.

Benji's pronouns are He/They

Benji's favorite artists are Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, and Taylor swift( I know such a difference and Benji is a swifty fr).

Benji has a spirit possessing him. He used to be evil but then they just became cool with each other. The spirit's name is Lynx.

Lynx's Voice claim bc I think it's perfect for him.

Lynx has the personality of Bill Cipher ( Gravity falls) mixed with Angel dust (Hazbin Hotel).

Benji is amazing at singing

Benji is ENTP

Benji also has a magical amulet that helps him and Lynx control their powers. (Kinda like Lena's)

Benji's birthday is on April 19 ( Like tommyinnit)

Oliver:

Oliver is the nephew of Gyro Gearloose.

Oliver loves Science and music. He wants to be a musician and scientist in the future.

He had a twin sister named Catherine, but tragically died in a accident on a school field trip.

Oliver's mom was very abusive.

Oliver went missing for a few years after a plane crash with his dad. Presumed dead kinda like Della was.

Oliver's dad betrayed him by joining F.O.W.L and basically told Oliver that he never wanted him in the first place.

Oliver can Speak Italian, Greek, and Ukrainian fluently (And English ofc).

Oliver has MAJOR anxiety.

Oliver has ADHD.

Oliver is in love with Louie. (Head canon for Louie is that he's Gay.)

Oliver goes to therapy too.

I had an AU that he landed on the land of the Dream Smp and basically got adopted by Tommy. Oliver got even more traumatized over there (poor guy😭).

Oliver uses He/They pronouns.

Oliver is Trans masc.

Oliver is amazing at fixing/ Inventing things.

Oliver is also amazing at singing.

Oliver looks up to Gyro and Fenton a lot. He thinks of Fenton as a uncle ( even though Gyro and Fenton get married in the future).

People close to Oliver call him Ollie or Olive.

Oliver's favorite artists are Arctic Monkeys, PUBLIC, Lana Del Rey, Cavetown, and Lovejoy.

Oliver is Gay.

Catherine is actually a spirit always watching Oliver, making sure he doesn't get in too much trouble. (Like Lena did for Webby).

Oliver's birthday is on January 3

This took way longer than I wanted😭. I wanted to basically give more facts about the Trio since I gave so little facts about them. I may give some facts about Catherine bc why not.

[bluiex]

Hey! Is me! The anon that give you the spire family AU cause I need help with some things cause I’m finally working on it again!!!

First let’s set the scene to help you(me) visualise the story better! I think it’s set like some of the Empires still exist just to expand the world, Shopping centre is still shopping centre but it’s like the resort in Mystreet season 6, with like the tower thing in the middle and all other like islands(aka like Aqua town and stuff like that) are. Mother Spore is like on this Erie off coast of the shopping centre that was originally connected to the shopping centre but when humans came they destroyed the eco system that connect them</3

(We keeping the Undergrove, Overgrown, Ocean Empire(Swamp is literally just like under the rule of the ocean empire), Meazalia(?), and Grimlands(cause imagine, Count fWhips twin sister ‘KIDNAPPED’ by the evil Mother Spore! Is so funny!!)

Kept the Undergrove cuase im thinking it’s like where the sporelings are most accepted(cause Shubble’s well- a gnome- but she’s got her whole mushroom thing so I’m making her bestie with Mother Spore)

(THIS GIVE ME AN IDEA!!! Everyine else trying to find where Mothers Spire other hide out is: Shubble having FUCKING TEA with Mother Spore: And i told her, that he was a cheat but she just gaslit me!)

So like Lizzie. Let’s make her God of the Ocean cause obvi! Jimmy’s like the Demi god who fell in love with mortals(cause my heart PAINS for that</3)

Lizzie and her Human Joel who just- “What? Noo gods don’t exist.”

Kathrine is the kinda queen that pretends to be a peasant and is friends with her whole kingdom without a single one (-The guards cause incase she gets hurt) knowing(Scott use to live in the Overgrown)

(IM PUTTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD OF THE UNDERGROWN CAUSE ITS MEANT TO BE LIKE THEIR OPPOSITES THAT OBTRACT!!)

fWhip has gone insane when Scott hurt Gem in ESMP1 so what happeneds when she gets ‘kidnapped’? HE GOES SO INSANE ITS FUNNY LIKE AT 3AM THERES LIKE A GUARD COMING TO TAKE HIS POST AND FWHIP RUNS PAST “WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO???YOUR MY ONLY BRAINCELL AND ILL KILL ANYONE AND EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH YOUR DISAPPEARANCE!” And the guards just like “He pays me enough…but it really could be more”

So the sporelings-

Scott’s brother Spore- like I’ve mentioned before-

Pearl’s Scott’s actually sister so just cause if that she sister spore but it’s like when a princess runs away from being a princess except she doesn’t know she running.

All the resistance members are still there obvi! (Stress, Impulse, Ren,  Doc, Jevin, XB, Etho)

But also Sausage went cause Scott flirted with him.

Joey’s there cause Xornoth(Scott’s cousin) is there-(that’s real gay)

Lauren(cause I her😭) is Xornoth’s sister, went with her cousin cause that’s her bestie!

(There are just random NPCs, some are there cause Scott flirted with them. Some went cause they thought Grian was hot. NPCs are gay/thirsty as hell.)

HEP are all scientist

Zed’s that one that’s like super smart, gets like a lot of the important info but does stupid shit- like drops the very poisonous specimen then says “Oopies!”

Pix is there cause I feel like he just does it for ironically.

TFC(I miss him😭) was a scientist that left and joined the Sporelings but instead reminded Grian of his dad, and he’s like like “Da- Grandpa spore.”

Ofcourse Theres NPC duh!

Now….WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH MUMBO??? Is he sporeling, random gardener, redstone shop owner or just a nobody? OR LIKE AN EX BESTFRIEND/LOVER OF GRIAN CASUE I LIVE FOR DRAMA!!!!

I’m still working on placing all the other hermits and an one else I want to add. They’ll all get something special, even if just one scene. 

Okay that’s all from 2am anon! Okay, Bye bye! Love you! Eat food! Drink water! Stay safe!

-🌺🪸🥀

I love all of this! I wish I could give you ideas of my own but brain mush atm 😭

But Jsut know I'm absolutely living for this. And I think Mumbo should be a sporling

[aqueeracademic]

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 13:

season 4, episode 1, “Game”:

- season 4!! let’s go

- need me some gay stuff

- season three was not very fruity

- wtf instrument is this lady playing

- thursday is such an asshole sometimes it’s a wonder i like him

- trewlove is perfect in every way

- “where do you stand with all that?” “suicide?” “love.”

- morse and debryn supremacy!!!

- look i KNOW morse thinks of joan when debryn referenced the “one that got away” but…. don’t you think they could be talking about jakes too?

- because i think they’re talking about jakes

- morse’s papers going missing is SO frustrating

- people hate to see my boy succeed and i’m sick of it!

- i know thursday is sad because of joan but morse has every right to be frustrated with him

- at the same time…

- morse copes by working

- with everhthing

- if anything upsets him he goes to work and locks in

- so i can see how he wouldn’t be particularly understanding of thursday not being able to push through and he should try better to be sympathetic

- i still think he has every right to be frustrated w him tho

- tessa knight 🤢🤮🤮🤮

- thursday is SO MEANNNNNNNN

- and for what!

- these scientists are gay <3

- they bicker like a couple and then immediately try to take care of each other it’s adorable

- morse speaking russian 🥰🥰🥰

- i’m giggling

- i love that bright is always so dramatically impressed when morse does something well

- bright and trewlove are so 🤞🥺 i’m obsessed with them

- trewlove showing that sexist motherfucker UP

- I LOVE HER

- “it’s not my place to say.”

- he is. so catty.

- these parents deserve so much better i feel so terrible for them

- thursday’s way of “making it up” to morse is so annoying

- i know he feels bad for hurting morse but just talk to him

- we all know we doesn’t care about validation or congratulations

- like he knows that! and yet 🫤

- the russian man being fully capable of speaking english and just choosing not to do so is so funny to me

- i already don’t like journalists about 60% of the time but this girl is ESPECIALLY annoying and i hate her

- this author is kinda…

- morse obviously doesn’t wanna talk to this author about his job so why on earth did he pull up to the guys house

- that’s my question!

- is it just because he’s….

- because he is!

- morse would be right

- ofc he quickly ends up disliking him but it’s the hope in that situation that matters 🙄

- also morse telling him that police work is boring in real life as if he didn’t get attacked by a tiger and experience all the events of The Great Gatsby is wild

- just straight up lying at this point

- STEALING FROM A POLICE OFFICER?????

- you stole. from a police officer.

- i cannot believe she is like this 😐 i hate her sm

- and of course the same day he finds out that he is being intentionally sabotaged is the day he’s being berated for “losing his notebook”

- cannot catch a break

- at least he and thursday are trying to make up

- these scientists are SO GAY (the awkward one w the glasses and the snobby one with the mouse)

- teasing him while massaging him and then putting his hand on his waist when he gets up

- Science Bros™️

- i don’t like her and all that but tessa didn’t deserve to die 🫤

- the face casts are so upsetting

- makes my damn skin crawl

- the odds of morse finding that paper in the doll were positively MINUSCULE he literally just can’t keep his hands to himself

- justice for frazil i just want her to be happy

- incest should never be the answer in a murder investigation tbh

- or like… even an idea of what happened

- grody tbh!

- NO FRAZIL NO

- aw GODDAM IT

- THE LITTLE GAY SCIENTIST IS THE KILLER

- i’m so upset

- i thought he and the mouse man had something 🫤🫤

- they would have been so cute

- but no he’s not gay he’s fucking incestuous

- i’m mad 🙄🙄🙄🙄

- morse finally driving his car at a reasonable speed

- GO FRAZIL GO

- NO FRAZIL NO

- i stg if anything happened to her i would lose my mind i’m so glad she’s okay

- morse just roasting the killer to get him to surrender is… a choice

- “you have to make a stand somewhere. they’re not going to drive me out.”

- YOU TELL EM MORSE

- morse has lost everyone he’s loved and all he had left is the place he loves and he will not leave and i love him for it

[adhdvsautismbracket]

hello I just submitted these two (newt and hermann from pacific rim) and I would like to ramble about them :3 they're scientists that research kaiju! they bicker like an old married couple but also care for each other a whole lot (these bitches gay)

hermann is the one without glasses, hes very autism coded! he has some trouble with social cues and takes things literally, seems to have some sensory issues. unrelated to autism but he is also a cane user and I think that's pretty neat!

onto newt! to me newt is more AuDHD but I can see ppl seeing him as more ADHD coded. he's impulsive, tends to ramble, imo there's a scene where he handles his idea being shot down a bit like RSD. also he has a kaiju special interest!! he's covered in tattoos of kaiju and infodumps about them several times in the movie. first of which comes at kind of an inappropriate time so social cues missed? anyway sorry to put paragraphs in here but pacific rim is one of my special interests and I went a lil feral :'D

^

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I am deeply saddened to see that actor David McCallum has died. While 90 hardly a short life, when someone has mattered to you, even in the distant way of an actor playing make believe for a living, you always wish the life were longer.

I expect I am about to ramble, and not very coherently (sleep deprivation), so all of it will go under the cut.

Actually, he was about the first actor I ever remember recognizing. When I was 3 I adored an obscure tv series called The Invisible Man, where he played the title character. It bares little resemblance to the original story, instead following the adventure show of the 1970s-1980s formula. I think the fact he played a scientist, married to a scientist, and that the couple happily worked together had a lot to do with it. Reminding me of my parents was a natural thing to appeal to a preschooler.

To be honest, I only remembered fragments of the show, but I remembered him vividly. Even as a little kid if I saw him anywhere my first thought was “lt’s the invisible man!!” and a wave of affection would wash over me.

Affection is something you wouldn’t find with my favorite of his tv shows. Steel, in my beloved Sapphire and Steel, is hardly a warm character. How can I describe the show…Well, the title characters aren’t human, but beings that are sent out to deal with problems in time, or maybe you can say caused by time. Nursery rhymes, photographs, and gas stations take on a menacing quality. If these two show up you better be afraid because while they will go to extreme lengths to stop the threat, those lengths might involve sacrificing you.

Steel the cool, sharp edged, and anything but the lovable nice guy I’d adored as a tot….and I adored him here too.

I was late seeing Sapphire and Steel, but I was even later seeing The Outer Limits (original version) where he starred in two of my favorite episodes.

In one, The Sixth Finger, he played a coal miner experimented on by a scientist until he evolved far beyond a connection to his humanity. I have an action figure of that one!

The other, Forms of Things Unknown, has an obvious inspiration in a certain famous French thriller, but then in comes McCallum, a man experimenting with time. While in the other episode he played a man shedding his humanity with every mutation, here he actually is unearthly from the start, a peculiar characterization that reminds me of the madness of characters that have seen to far into the void, but also of a child lost to forces far beyond them….

TBH, I went through a period where this episode was comfort viewing. I would day dream up back story details for McCallum’s character, and even ways to connect it to Sapphire and Steel.

What? just because I was going full geeky fangirl on a single episode of a tv show made well before I was born isn’t THAT weird on here!

And here is another obscure one I’m fond of, a movie called The Ravine. It’s a movie set during WWII where he’s a German soldier sent to capture a woman that’s been acting as a sniper picking of his side like crazy. The concept, that they end up trapped together and do the enemies to lovers thing, seemed like the usual contrived thing. Still, out of mild curiosity I watched a horrible print on Youtube and I was surprised how effective it was. I was actually sold on the tragic relationship, and I’d gone into it expecting to be rolling me eyes. In fact , since it isn’t (or at least wasn’t) available on DVD in the US I got one from Europe. Good thing the acting and setting are more important than dialog, cause I don’t speak Italian!

Frankenstein: The True Story has about as much relationship to the original novel as Bram Stoker’s Dracula has to the book, but it’s actually a rather fascinating take on subject. Tumblr would approve of the gay subtext (more like text, cause how could even folks in the ‘70s miss it) McCallum’s part is supporting, but crucial being both Frankenstein’s mentor and brain donor. I’ll be honest with you, my weakness for mad scientists is showing because I swooned over even has he enthusiastically collects raw materials (ahem) for their work.

Is it weird that this is the roll he played that had me properly, classic fan girl swooning?

There are couple of adaptations that are notable for me. There is that adaptation of Kidnapped he was in. I got it on DVD for my father because the sequel to Kidnapped was a childhood favorite of his, and this was the rare version to use that book (TBH, Pop had a fanboy crush on the girl in that book, from the way he talk! LOL) Unfortunately Pop died before seeing it, so it colors my thoughts on it. And there was an adaptation of Our Mutual Friend, one of my favorite Dickens novels, but I watched it in a “see all the adaptations” kick so it’s a blur of compare and contrast.

I will end this with the most peculiar way a part he played connected with me.

It started unexpectedly, with me watching The Man from UNCLE on a DVD set my father had gotten for Christmas. My parents had liked the show, but like a lot of shows from before I was born I’d heard a lot about it before I’d seen it.

To be honest I wasn’t particularly impressed. Oh, it was fine, and I did like the warm dynamic of the main two characters. **It’s just sort plain potato chip tv, tasty but forgettable. Plus it was sooo of it’s time that the sexism irritated me no end. I have watched, and loved, a lot of 1960s tv, so maybe I just expected more. I enjoyed it, but if you asked me to rank my faves of the “ Sixties lets do the Spy Thing” tv shows I would pick Wild, Wild, West or The Avengers or Danger Man or Get Smart*** even before it.

So it was fine, I enjoyed it while we watched, and then didn’t really think about it anymore.

And then my father got sick.

My father’s illness, and eventual death, hit me hard. Very hard. I was alone dealing with it. I had no friends, and wasn’t even on Tumblr yet. I couldn’t weigh my parents down with my emotions when they had so much of their own. And with my father’s chemo and such I was often actually alone. Obviously not as much as now, but so many days completely alone was new to me then.

So there I was, on the verge of being an emotional but holding it together, desperately aching for someone, anyone, I could turn to….

And then I started dreaming.

Of course I always had dreamed, but this was different. This was nightly dreaming. Serial dreaming. Stories that continued on for days or weeks. And fictional characters started creeping in. Up until then the characters in dreams had always been my OCs, but now suddenly tv shows, books, movies, comics…they were all fodder for the stories helping me escape.

The part may be one of his most famous roles, but it still came as a huge surprise when I found myself dreaming about Illya.

Actually, the first dream was a general Man from UNCLE dream. It was fun, even if it seemed weird to be dreaming about the show. But then the next one had Illya only.

And so it started, an epic series of dreams, chapter after chapter, night after night. Adventures with Illya.

Well, and aliens and time travel and so on. It was, after all, my subconscious spinning the story, not screenwriters. Gotta get time travel and/or alternate universes in there somewhere if it comes out of mushed up brain.

After a while the dreams had bigger gaps between them, but the dreams with Illya still came. In fact over months they dominated my dreaming. Illya was there all the time.

It got so I spent time when I was awake, thinking about the dreams and the character. What would Illya think of this? What would Illya listen to? What would Illya say? What if Illya were in that situation? What if…

Now, I admit, the Illya I was imagining is only inspired by the one David McCallum played. It looked like him. It sounded like him. I even found myself replaying select episodes to remind myself of his “voice” so my brain could make him seem more authentic. But the truth was he was my interpretation of Illya, my head-cannon, my quirks, my obsessions..

Actually I guess it was my need. I needed someone. My dreams even created characters to be my avatars for interacting with him. I those dreams I could talk to him, laugh with him, cry in front of him, save him or be saved by him, and be his friend.

And in a weird way, that is what my brain was doing. It was giving me an imaginary friend while I slept. Someone smart and kind and brave, to save the world…just like the imaginary friend I’d had when I was little.****

I’d given myself an imaginary friend that looked and sounded like Illya!

Well, in dreams. I wasn’t so far gone I talked to him when I was awake!

But it was comforting. I found myself thinking about those dreams, almost cuddling up to them in those painful dark days. I confess I worried that if I ever were in a delirium or under anesthetic or something might call out to him and have some very embarressing questions asked.

Eventually the dreams stopped. Time moves on. Maybe I didn’t need them anymore, or maybe my subconscious got bored.

TBH I kinda wish I still had dreams about him, or some other characters. Any dreams with a repeated cast or continuing story would be beyond welcome. I could REALLY use their company now.

And now, writing this, I realize just why I actually gasped when I saw David McCallum had died. Yes, as an actor he had played many parts I enjoyed, but other actors have done that without the shock of their death knocking the breath from me. But the fact is no other actor has had their performance gift me with something that felt like a friend when I needed one most.

So that’s why I am sad. It isn’t just a list of parts he played that I loved or that he had been a familiar face as long as I can remember. He got stored in a special part of my mind, the strange area of the imagination where strangers and friends get blurred and fiction protect a fracturing heart.

I am eternally grateful he lived. Even if I didn’t have a list of credits I enjoyed ******, as long as I had those dreams he helped inspire when I needed them most I’d mourn his passing.

Condolences to all that loved him, be they friends, family, or fans.

**Though I would end up in fandom exile for seeing them as like brothers or little boy best friends instead of shipping them. Good on you if you do. I think it’s beautiful every character everywhere gets shipped with someone, but dang, what is with the hate for the non-shipping fans?)

*** The Prisoner, possibly my fave tv show ever, isn’t really in this category to my mind, but a lots of folks would disagree.

****My childhood imaginary friend was the ghost of a little boy murdered by his uncle during the American Revolution. Still, the smart, kind, brave, save the world stuff was there too.

*****I didn’t mention something he did that I enjoyed. For instance, Mother Love, a wonderful bit of tv that criminally isn’t on DVD, because it’s Diana Riggs’ showcase. But then I’ve also never seen any of the six billion years of NCIS (I think those are the letters). Who knows how many other of his work I never saw.

[blazing-michael]

for the ask game... 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21, 25, 34, 38, 39 and 44. (i sure do have a lot of shit to ask❗)

you sure do have a lot of things to ask...... ok let's go

3. do you smoke?

kind of? yes? no? i can smoke or vape if i feel dramatic but i never inhale. this is bad for your voice and i'm a singer. anyways it doesn't happen too often.

4. do you drink?

yes i do but then again not very often and nothing strong. i love cheap sparkling wine and cocktails. my favourites are piña colada & sex on the beach.

7. have any tattoos?

yes. a raspberry/blackberry vine through the length of my forearm in color. can show you if you dm about it.

8. want any tattoos?

if i have a shit ton of money. akchually it's quite painful for a thing that costs that much and has no practical use. but if someone said they would pay for it, i would do sylvia plath on my shoulder. or something with strawberries or violets or bees.

9. got any piercings?

i have my ears pierced. a hole in the left ear, three holes in the right. lately haven't worn earrings though.

10. want any piercings?

a septum piercing. but i don't want to deal with the wound so i just wear a fake nose ring sometimes.

13. biggest turn ons

hands in tight gloves oh my god. kissing. music. i admit maybe i have a thing for angels..... i know they don't exist but still....

14. biggest turn offs

telephone calls.

15. favourite movie

sister, act. a) the main character is a black woman starring whoopi goldberg; b) the plot is not revolving around a man. in fact it's about a singer hiding in a women monastery from a criminal and finding a way to enjoy being there; c) no sexualisation since they all are nuns; d) i ship two female characters 🥰; e) it's a kind funny movie made by gay men. i love it. sequel too. also i love midsommar.

17. someone you miss

i will forever miss my exes. not romantically of course but as friends. they are beautiful people. i wrote many songs about them so i can't avoid missing them every once in a while. hope it doesn't sound weird.

19. a fact about your personality

i can't cry at funerals or when i'm sad but if some little thing upsets me i can and i will sob.

21. what i love most about myself (+tagging @sweetslemon cause you also asked that)

idk. im pretty chill. it's a nice quality for a person.

25. my idea of a perfect date

kissing in the rain. napping together in a hammock. watching the stars. anything is fine as long as my woman is with me.

34. what i find attractive in women

kindness. being powerful yet gentle. laughter.

38. childhood career choice

i wanted to be a computer scientist or a space scientist, florist and musician. it took me some time to understand what it takes to be a space scientist... currently working at a flowershop and wondering if i can really become a good musician.

39. my favourite ice cream flavour

chocolate. to specify шоколадный магнат с кусочками брауни.

44. a random fact about anything

one day i climbed a spotlight at a stadium to watch a concert for free. the police couldn't make me get down on my own so they called a firetruck with a ladder. later they took pity on me and let me pass without any conditions.

wow that iz a lot. have fun reading all that 🚬 and thank you for asking now i feel like a superstar after an interview😎😎

[secrethread]

i often wonder why i'm transgender and generally come to the conclusion that it's probably a genetic fluke or neonatal hormonal issue or something, like the scientists say. cause i didn't mention this but jesus christ did testosterone solve every mental health issue i ever had, within the first 3 weeks or so. i can only assume it did something good for my brain, like gave it what it was missing or reduced production of estrogen that could have been causing mental problems. so i guess my theory is something is wrong in the brain. i'm not against the idea that it could be more of a nurture thing than a nature thing, i just dunno what would cause that.

i don't believe the terfs' idea that trans men have dysphoria and want to transition as a trauma response to misogyny, especially for myself because i didn't experience or witness much or any misogyny as a kid😂 i was pretty lucky. and i definitely wasn't thinking about not being able to do stuff as a female, i didn't particularly care about boy or girl stuff, all i cared about was reading books. when i first decided i was transgender, it was based on feelings about my body, i was totally lost and had no idea about anything i wanted socially. i guess when i was like 9 i wanted to be a cool guy like billie joe armstrong or gerard way or something but i also liked evanescence and i didn't wanna be amy lee... oh actually i remember wanting to be like kesha back then too so i don't know. anyways that idea is stupid as fuck because why do they think trans women are trans then🙄 yeah it's dumb. so anyways i think i'm going to listen to the scientists' theories instead. i would actually love to be part of a study on why people are transgender.

i sort of worry that the transgender "trend" where people are more likely to transition and detransition now, at least in my own observation, could really skew the results of that kind of study nowadays. i hope if they do a new one that they differentiate people who have been medically transgender for like 5+ years, since even if they're the 1% who detransition later they probably still have the same thing wrong with them making them trans. i think even "truly" transgender people detransition sometimes. Although i also hope that they do a study with people who detransitioned within 5 years or less... probably wouldn't learn much other than that they're mostly normal physically.

i'm not tripping over a lack of proper scientific explanation though tbh. there is at least explanation showing that it's an immutable part of people. i personally feel like it might be related to sexuality also but i don't have evidence other than that gay people are often gnc and trans people are often gay/bi (and straight trans ppl's sexuality isn't exactly the same as being cis and straight anyways)

i know that many trans people don't like the idea of this stuff being studied, but i'm very scientifically minded and i love human behavior and brains so i can't help being very curious about it. i don't like the idea of only some people being "truly" transgender due to some physical/mental/brain trait, since science is not perfect at all, especially when it comes to the brain. if people were judged that way it would cause some to fall through the cracks, and it wouldn't be worth it, since we have a pretty good way of determining who is transgender or not (literally just asking). i really feel bad for people who transition physically and don't like it though, because i can see how someone could misinterpret their own feelings and gender, especially if they don't understand what gender dysphoria feels like until they learn the hard way by changing their body and causing it in themselves 😭 thankfully i don't know anyone who's ever gone that far without realizing, the detransitioners i know realized because of social dysphoria when being male or a lack of it when being female.

[thebiggestmenace]

What were thoughts on the show? Was there anything that you didn’t like about it? Were there things you liked more than the game?

I didn’t like the car crash in episode 4. It felt very low budget compared to the game. I was also sad they didn’t do the drowning scene in the finale. That was my all time favorite scene from the game

I have to say I'm very biased to the show as it was my first introduction to the franchise (and I watched it all in one go, which made a brain goblin move in)!

I personally love the show and how both Pedro and Bella portray Joel and Ellie. I love how they changed and added some things, too. I liked the car crash in the show? I don't know why, but I did. I think it was the aftermath of it? when Joel was telling Ellie to go to the hole in the wall, because they're not gonna hit you. it's just such good soup to me 🤌💋

after having watched a gameplay, I was a little disappointed they didn't show Ellie getting the gun how she did in the game? cause she saved Joel after his near drowning, and then he taught her how to use a gun, even if she sort of already knew. but I do love how they showed it in the show, too! the fact that it was Frank's gun, so an older gay giving a baby gay a gun. a way to protect herself. it's so poetic :) and then when Joel asked her if that was the first time she shot someone? I really do love both adaptations. and I get why they wouldn't do it the way they did it in the show, so that it wasn't a risk to the actors, you know?

I wasn't disappointed about Ellie’s drowning not making it in the show, tbh. it adds another level of grief? for what's about to come, and we would've missed her puns and Joel throwing himself behind her to protect her as best he could. I think the show handled the finale better, too, simply because you're not playing Joel? in the game, you have to kill all the fireflies. you can't progress the story if you don't. so you don't see anything wrong? idk how to explain this properly, but you have to kill everyone or else you die along with Ellie. in the show, though, you're not playing Joel. you get to watch it from someone else's perspective and realize that he also didn't have a choice. and the show made it more. sad and grief filled. if that makes any sense. so I think adding her drowning would've made it hurt that much more, you know? it also would've put the actors at risk, so I totally get why they didn't include it

I love how they added more to the show, too! like, getting the flashback from 1968, where the scientist explains that fungal infections have no cure, right off the bat? it's such 👨‍🍳🤌💋 to me. and then getting to watch Sarah in the beginning, so we feel closer to her? beautifully devastating. getting to see Ellie at the beginning, too? before she met Joel and Tess? I really enjoyed that. it also showed us a bit of how Marlene was as a person (the oh, really? was Riley a terrorist? I feel showed who she was. she wasn't in it for Ellie, or even Anna, she was in it for herself) which I feel was important. the entirety of episode 3? also beautifully devastating. the letter had the same effect that the conversation with Bill did (in the game), it just felt more positive? like, Bill was mad in the game, so that conversation felt a bit negative. the show, while literally being after their deaths, felt positive? I don't know why, it just did. and making Sam deaf? I think was really important, cause it showed that Sam still wanted to protect Ellie as best he could. he wouldn't have been able to hear her once she woke up, so he sat facing away from her to protect her. and the fact she tried to heal him, because she knew beforehand? I think really set up the finale. yes, vaccines need more than just blood, but taking that with the 1968 flashback? I think just reiterates that you can't make a cure for a fungal infection. also loved the differences in episode 6, when they found Jackson. well, when Jackson found them lmao I love how they portrayed it all? how we actually got to see Jackson this time, and we knew that the dam was fixed. the fact that Maria's pregnant? I'm hoping they change Tommy a bit because of that (don't like game Tommy because of what he did at the end of the second game). also that could help to heal Joel a little from losing Sarah. that might just be me being delusional because of fics, though. but also Joel getting stabbed instead of falling off a balcony? I don't know why, but that felt more fitting to the show? and I liked that they showed Ellie stitching him up (did miss the don't worry, I've done this before from her, though) along with him being conscious enough to try to shove her away to go back to Jackson. loved the entirety of episode 7, too! I really, really love how the mall was Ellie’s first time being there, so Riley was taking her on an adventure. and that the photo booth actually gave them the picture strip! I just love the seventh episode, man. I don't enjoy episode 8, simply because of what it's about? but I like the little changes they did for Joel yelling what town and Ellie yelling that she's the little girl who broke your fucking finger. truly felt like those came from deep within, you know? also the fact they added in that David's people were hunting?? disgusting, but it's the little details. I love how they opened episode 9 with Ellie being born. and I love how it was Ashley Johnson, that definitely did NOT get any tears out of me once I finished watching gameplays. definitely not. I loved the giraffe scene, too! you got to see Joel’s reaction to it!!! proud dad! although I think that smile was more Pedro and Bella, but it was still so so sweet and it's so important to me :] I loved the conversation they had on that traffic blocker (wtf is that actually called??), about how it wasn't time that did it. I think it also drove home what the ending was gonna be. I already talked about the hospital, but I do enjoy that they weren't underwater for that. it's the fact that Joel tried his damndest to protect Ellie as best he could when that bomb went off. he twisted around her, so that he'd take the brunt of it. I think the ending after that stayed mostly true to the game, so there are my thoughts :)

oh, I loved the mirroring they did, too! I think Craig? maybe Neil. someone said they mirrored scenes so you knew it was an adaptation, and that it would be a little bit different than the original. Joel holding his girls different ways in the show vs the game?? 🤌💋 Ellie and Joel in his apartment being mirrored??? 🤌💋 the what town scene also being mirrored??? and then what town being added??? 🤌💋 I believe there are more mirroring scenes, but these are what I remember. I just love the little details, man

sorry this was so long, anon, I just love the show so much. it's what introduced me to the last of us. after I finished it (in one sitting, by the way, because I didn't want to forget what happened between weeks/episodes), I found a gameplay of the first game and watched that. then we did the same with the dlc. I wanted to avoid the second game, as I loved going into the show blind, but alas, I saw too many spoilers :( no one tagged stuff, so I figured I should watch the gameplay before the whole game is spoiled for me. it was devastating and I live in constant fear for how they're gonna adapt it. not because it'll be bad, just because Pedro and Bella are such good actors that I KNOW it's gonna devast each and every single one of us. the yell/scream from Ellie at the end of episode 5 still lives in my head, much against my will, so I'm very worried about the ones we'll be getting in season 2 (or more? cause Craig said something about 4 seasons?)