#I might be lacking motivation
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ZDZUDZUSAZUSAFZSUIFAIUF
HIHIHIHIHIHIIHIHIHIHIHIHIIII SKETCHBOOOOOK :DDDD
KJIDSIJSDDSISDIDSLIDSIDSIDSISIDSIJDSA
HRUUUUU????????
ALSOALSO
HGRGRGRGRGRGR
I LOVE YOUR ART SM<3333
*STEALS AND EATS YOUR ART/J*
I HOPE IT WAS YUMMY
#i love asks#and im trying to answer them all#I swear#I might be lacking motivation#Or having anxiety#Or depression#But it��s ok cause I’m still trying#I’ll answer eventually haha
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@danielhowell and @amazingphil as Jesse and James from Pokémon
#i actually did this back in jan or feb and recently i havent been able to draw due a really severe burnout ive been having so i havent been-#-happy with my art at all and feeling no motivation/inspiration so im sorry for the lack of art ove been posting#i hope this piece makes up for it and i have a couple others in this style as well i might post if my burnout continues#phan#dan and phil#dnp#phil lester#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phanart#dapg#pokemon#team rocket#art#drawing#jesse and james except its dan and phil?#fanart#artists on tumblr#ghoulish art
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*looks at one specific W.I.P. AU in notes app*
*looks back at MASM*
*squints*
#moon and sun minecraft#masm#masm sun#masm eclipse#well I'll be damned#WYL AU might become canon before I could even write it#I still need to finish GG AU too#curse you lack of motivation to write#in all seriousness it's only remotely similar to WYL#Sun joining Eclipse to be evil was actually a lot more close to the AU#but like#in the end they do kinda get together#and uh... “raise” a “kid” together
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Trolls lore headcanon time! (Featuring Branch, Clay, and Viva)
Branch had already been dealing with predators wanting to attack Pop Village for a while now.
Post Trolls (2016) he’s added alarms so that if there is something attacking he can be there and post TWT he’s gotten Poppy to agree with getting a more official defense system going and other trolls have volunteered to help. He unfortunately doesn’t have much experience training other trolls and more often than not continues to handle most physical conflicts on his own with occasional help.
Post TBT the putt putt trolls were originally gonna be their own thing per Viva’s request and while Poppy was sad she respected the fact Viva made herself home there. Unfortunately they didn’t know that the Bergens had seriously branched out outside of Bergen Town and the putt putt course was on country territory.
This would have been very bad considering the alliance that Poppy had worked for with the other tribes and although Delta was more accepting now a days this would definitely be an insult to the country trolls who predominantly held a grudge and a fight could break out.
Poppy had to explain this to Viva and then again to the Putt Putt trolls who on one hand, understood the situation, but on the other did not feel 100% comfortable living in a village that had erased them from history.
This lead to both Peppy making an official apology to both the putt putt trolls and the village trolls and Poppy admitting to the fact that her predecessor were far from perfect and how she’s working towards a better and honest future.
The Pop Trolls definitely had concerns concerning the mount rageons. Branch decided to share his power of head of defense with Clay and Viva so they could all work together to upgrade security. Branch’s strength in understanding the forest and it’s patterns, Clay in adding safety measures in the village, and Viva in creating an official training regiment for lookouts and guards.
Branch technically still holds the title with Clay being head of safety and Viva head of training/commander but when they need to push for a new idea they rely on Viva throwing in her weight of still being a royal pop troll.
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls 2016#trolls band together#trolls world tour#tbt#twt#trolls viva#trolls branch#trolls clay#trolls delta dawn#delta dawn#trolls poppy#trolls peppy#queen poppy#putt putt trolls#troll tribes#trolls headcanons#I was gonna make a fic of this#but lacked motivation#still might tho#idk
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read the tags !! // officially quit
#⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀#ok first of all why am i writing in tags you may ask#well i find it less awkward to express in my tags rather in the actual post it self since im one hell of an awkward piece of shit hihi#ANYWAY TO THE TOPIC OF ME QUITING#this has been very long due#like i mean everyone has to have seen it coming#specially since i dont post as frequently and j lost most of my motivation#one. because school is my current priority#two. is my personal life !!! i’ve been vry vry busy keeping up with irl frends and also my family#but the main reason had to be my lack of motivation as in its non existent#next topic !!!#i will be deleting most of my asks and random posts soem of which are memorable to me will be rbloged to my personal acc !#ah and yes will i be coming back?#probably will be lurking time to time but who knows i might actually come back on joshuas bday solely to post a joshua mb HAHAHAHA#ilovemyman frr#I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS ON THE DAY JOSHUA ACTUALLY POSTED ON HIS IG#ok im getting sooooo off topic#but like hooray my last theme is actually jjong toram HAHAH#i actually quited before november like the end of oct but i was too lazy to make a post about it hehehe#but luvi knew ofc :>#anyway if were close moots frel free to add me in discord not like im actually really active#@stariaz. 🤓#who knows i might actually take this back if suddenly the little devil inside me decides to revive itself#anyway this is user k-yujin offically(?) signing off 🤓🤓#ALSOOO DOESNT MEAN I QUITED PPLCAN USE MY STUFF W/O GIVING CREDS !!! (ehem ehem my dividers 👁)#please give creds or i will literally come alive#i still have someone who acts as my eyes here even though j wont post no more#guys i have to wake up at 5 am gud night 🤩#also i cut my hair 😶#thabks for 3.4k though 🫵🫵
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OH SURELY SOMEONE HAS DONE THE “go for it , [name] !” ANIME THING WITH MISSA AND PHIL . SURELY
LIKE CMON . ITS LITERALLY PERFECT ?? PUH LEASE ?
#idk what to tell u if u dont know what im talking abt with the ‘go for it’ thing tbh#i might draw it myself but hahaaaaa erm#i have a consistent problem with saying i’ll draw smth and then not doing it bc of lack of motivation#sooooooo . not the highest chance i’ll actually do it and Finish it#BUT CMON THE IDEA IS THERE AND THE IDEA IS PERFECT FOR THEM#PLEASE#qsmp pissa#q!missa#q!philza#qsmp philza#qsmp missa#qsmp missasinfonia#qsmp#pissa#death duo#qsmp deathduo#qsmp shipping#missasinfonia#philza#philza mcyt#ph1lza
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the magic mountain meets greek tragedy meets bluebeard & other folktales meets the secret history meets grand budapest hotel meets radetzky march & emperor’s tomb meets the haunting of hill house meets black mirror meets midsommar meets the yellow wallpaper meets primeval and other times -> olga tokarczuk’s the empusium
#or at least this is my impression so far#tbf these are just vibes & motives. but I See Them#i would say: maybe (maybe) not as exceptional as the best olga can be#but I’m still having so much fun. immaculate vibes I can’t wait to find out what it’s all about👀#though I already have my theories and it’s not like olga writes mystery stories for mystery’s sake so yeah. I’m not expecting something#totally unpredictable#also i suspect part of the enjoyment is kinda lacking because I’m used to reading her translated in italian rather than English#so the tone of voice is slightly different#still. I’m already halfway through which might give an idea about how enjoyable the book is#the empusium
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disgusting how this year i have like. no motivation for halloween
#mostly because im lacking art motivation for anything other than a level and art is mostly how i celebrate#i might get a good grade. but at what cost...?#spouting to the void
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#very random (not snz) haha but#does anyone else feel like their social battery fluctuates like. 0 to 100 with no middle ground or is this perhaps something wrong with me#i will go for weeks without having the social energy to talk to people i love and treasure 😭#maybe it's a lack of dopamine in general idk... would not be thrilled to add another mental illness to the list#but then i'll have a night where i am super talkative and happily reply to half the people i've been talking to#or times when i send off all my responses and sit at my laptop like when are my friends going to reply 🙂 i can't wait to talk to them 🙂#i apologize if you have personally been on the receiving end of my extreme inconsistency 😭#i have been thinking about it recently and i think that's in part the reason why i also gravitate towards long form conversations;#it feels mentally easier for me to deliver a meaningful response once in a blue moon than like sustain that level of#conversational depth on a more consistent basis? because i am inconsistent#but sometimes in the long wait between responses (which i have arguably played a large role in establishing) i feel unexpectedly social and#then feel strangely lonely 😭 (🤡)... truly i feel like i am lowkey a badly adjusted adult#this is not a catastrophizing post (though i did catastrophize slightly more over it in past weeks); just passive musings atp#i go through similar flows with artistic motivation but the highs and lows are not synced with my social energy at all#i think i am someone who likes to analyze my habits just as a whole because i really enjoy optimizing for things 😭 so this tendency in#particular really perplexes me#delete later perhaps because i know this is truly a yap post. (i apologize)#i met with a friend earlier irl and this might be the remnants of the social energy from seeing her or it might be a function of#the drink i had (strawberry matcha 🥰) if you have read this far i apologize personally
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Still lacking the energy to write due to extra overtime but what a time for motivation to start rearing it's head. Sudden urge to write... something, maybe Khare finally revealing her injuries (and mutation) to somebody close.
#🌈 || musings#;; delete later#Working nearly 50+ hours his week and a little more into next week but DAMN#Writing motivation has been so lacking all summer and suddenly Khare's hammering on the brain cell#I don't think she's actually revealed anything to anyone just yet? At least nothing major#Small cuts are just explained away or pretends didn't happen bc healing factor kicks in#Would honestly like a thread where Khare just reveals the eyes ick and all#Pulsing wall of flesh with twitching eyes and teeth in it#Worst area is still her back and hip and doing that meme last night made me think of funny things#Somebody thinks she's getting frisky but NOPE#Biggest mood killer ever when there's clusters of eyes growing in gnarly scars and shit#As a little treat the flesh might even try to bite#More work tonight but soon nap#So cold and wet suddenly so </3
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Here’s some funny unhinged interaction dialogue I came up with. Featuring my oc (Ashley) and @xxsweetoothxxs ‘s ocs (literally every other character) I would have drawn this, (probably will in the future) but I’m way too fucking tired and mentally drained to draw as of recently, so this was my compromise.
Ashley: *wakes up in toyland* Where the fuck am I?
Rolan: oh hello! :D
Ashley: Bitch….. Are you a fucking phone!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley: *walking to her house and sees a lil toy Leslie on the ground*
Ashley: *picks Leslie up* Who the fuck left this dumbass doll in my yard?
Leslie: *spins head 360 degrees around and death glares her* BITCH. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!!??
Ashley: OH FUCK. ITS ALIVE!!??
Ashley: *yeets Leslie into a bush*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ashley: Why are you crying?
Ragz: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY AM I CRYING!? MY BAKERY IS RUINED!!!! YOU SET IT ON FIRE!!!!
Ashley: oh yeah…..
Ashley: that is rather unfortunate…… *dabs*
Ragz: ;_;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ashley: What the fuck!? Were you about to fucking BITE ME bro!!??
Domi: No… I was just-
Ashley: You have to prepare someone for that….
Ashley: *bares teeth and gets into fightin position*
Ashley: Alright. I’m ready. Let’s do this!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#ashley blackhart#xxsweetoothxx#im mentally ill#my oc is unhinged#im unhinged#random dialogue#Lack of motivation to draw won’t stop me#Buds in toyland characters#But also proxymoron characters#I’m sorry for making Ashley terrorize your ocs#but also i’m not#I might make more of these in the future#But I’ll probably just space it out next time and break everything into separate smaller segments#too much chaos in one post#If you have an oc and I know you#beware#I will probably make our ocs interact
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Yknow, despite acknowledging the racism and xenophobia of a lot of the authorial intent of these bits of Dracula, it's surprising how easily we can turn it on its head and make these "dracula helpers" be also people in a Shitty situation, hating the fact they have no real way to help Jonathan. Making the contempt for these people be something dracula intentionally plants in Jonathan's mind to make him distrustful of the people that *could* help him. Specially considering the depictions of the crucifix lady and all the kind souls in the coach... it enriches the story to make it so these folks are not actually racist caricatures but real flesh and blood (ha) humans in an extremely complex position
It does take deliberate effort to come up with justifications/alternate interpretations. But at the same time, yeah, you don't technically have to change canon to get a much better view of them - the lack of communication between them and our main characters makes their canon motivations cloudier and opens up options to pick a different one. And it really does add to the story if you do so.
Throughout the entire book, the minor characters aren't evil people. Even when they're working for Dracula, they're just doing a job and either don't know what he is (in England, the Captain of the Demeter) or are too afraid to act because they do know what he is (the locals near the Castle, the sailors). Admittedly the situation on the Demeter is a bit more complex with the first mate's likely knowledge of what Dracula is warring with his denial of it, but being in denial and being a harsh or even abusive boss isn't the same thing as wanting to help Dracula. Everyone seems to basically mean well, even if the results are often in service of evil. This actually becomes an interpersonal theme amongst the main characters, with loving and well-meant lack of communication making them vulnerable to Dracula.
Dracula has a bunch of people working for him, and they all help him out to various degrees - in addition to the ones like the people on the coach and inn who are just too scared to openly oppose him. In fact, Jonathan himself provides him a lot of help in planning and getting his legal necessities squared away, and if anything he is the ultimate proof that you don't have to want to support Dracula in any way in order to feel like you have to keep him happy. Having just a couple of "Bad People" is really out of place to the rest of the book. It would make more sense if there was a kind of 'everyone is shades of gray' complex morality on display amongst various people, but the book doesn't go there (despite all the 'heroes were the true villains all along' sequels/adaptations). It has a pretty firm stance that people are basically good and want to help one another, but that a combination of not communicating, not believing in others' capabilities, and fear leaves cracks that Dracula takes advantage of to wedge them apart. Once he's isolated them from each other he is better able to hunt them.
The lack of communication is evident among the main characters. The prejudicial ideas/lack of belief in capabilities is largely shown through benevolent sexism and ableism, but there is also some racist dismissal of foolish local superstitions at various points. And of course fear takes various forms, for oneself, for others. But if we go with a different interpretation of these people, rather than just being racist Evil Goons who are exceptions to the rest of humanity, they immediately fall prey to all three of those themes. The language barrier doesn't allow for communication. The racist ideas of them Jonathan has been told are reinforced by this lack of ability to communicate and by Dracula himself. Their fear for their own lives leaves them unable to answer Jonathan's pleas for help. His isolation leaves him more vulnerable to Dracula. It even goes the other way around too kind of, because if they have difficulty communicating (not necessarily always straight up language barrier) and people are operating on those racist assumptions that they're fine or even eager to be working for Dracula, then no one is going to try and help them either (which just as Dracula would like, potentially leaves them thinking they don't have much recourse but to serve him). The entire chase and fight at the end of the story could play into that, potentially.
So yeah, it is still a deliberate effort, because there was clearly racist assumptions/intent in the way they were written. But making the effort to have a kinder interpretations of them... It gives them a chance to be people in a bad situation, rather than racist caricatures, as you said. And that's preferable on both a personal level and for the themes of the book.
#dracula daily#dracula daily spoilers#dracula locals#replies#anonymous#but at the same time anyone who hated the way they are shown and wanted to change it i get because the racism is very much there#the same lack of insight into their perspective that makes it easy to rewrite their motivations also means we don't know/see#those motivations in canon. and all the effort is on the reader to 'fix' that which many a reader might not do
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I just reread some of my old fiction writing, and it was actually like not bad. I've been saying for a few days that I really need a hobby. Maybe it's time to give it another go
#I had a few conversations with people irl recently about fiction writing where I expressed my general lack of motivation for it#I feel more fulfilled with non-fiction writing and it's typically more inspiring for me#I decided to go back and revisit some of my old fiction writing and I realized I've been really tough on myself#I can definitely look at my old writing with an editor's eye and find things I'd like to change but the writing is pretty solid as is#I'm expecting to have some free time tomorrow so I think I'll give fiction writing another crack#I might as well take advantage of my free time to explore a creative outlet I'm not likely to have opportunities to pursue once I have a job#99% chance I'm not posting anything I write but it feels good to state my intentions somewhere#ashley rambles
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New style study, I'm thinking about changing my exiting one to something like this… I'm quite bored with my previous one.
#my art#survivors dogs#wolf#I'm afraid I'm expiriencing some kind of burnout#I have no motivation to read whatsoever (I loved to do it)#and nearly no motivation to draw new design projects....#tbh with ya (but not to be rude) I think the lack of motivation to draw might stem from how little attention (at least in my eyes) gets#my art and stuff...#I'm pretty tired of the lack of feedback. and I'm unfortunatly a creature who thrives on validation#but I hope I regain my strengths soon
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i'm so sad because i want / need to draw for presents (which is why i've essentially been on hiatus here for a hot minute) but i'm now on forced drawing hiatus to give my wrist some rest since it's been feeling very strained lately and i don't want to push it aaaaaaaaa
#║ ✰〳ooc.#[ i might take this time to look at my character bios#both for all my DB characters and maybe my other multi blog's characters#i've been debating bringing back my original multi blog and porting ALL my other OCs onto that one#(except for my P3 girl; she can stay on her own blog)#but that'll take me a lot longer due to lack of muse / motivation but. i would like to get back there#i miss my other girls lmao ]#║ ✰〳tbd.
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for fucking real like i think a xanax prescription would fix me. i KNOW its highly addictive and has many bad side effects. i KNOW its withdrawal is hell. however i really think my life would be improved if i didnt feel like i was being hunted for sport at literally any social gathering.
#i've tried all the other drugs#i can't be on normal antidepressants bc of my bipolar#i tried buspar (kinda successful? might try again)#and propranolol (mostly just for restlessness caused by my antipsychotics)#and i have an rx for hydroxyzine but i mostly use that for sleep. i should probably try using that more#and my psychiatrist doesn't want me to try gabapentin or pregabalin for some unknown reason .... she doesn't even know i abused pregabalin#lol#pregabalin did honestly help a lot though#i used it recreationally but it was one of the only things that have 'cured' my anhedonia and lack of motivation#not even stimulants do that for me
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