#this has been very long due
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read the tags !! // officially quit
#⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀#ok first of all why am i writing in tags you may ask#well i find it less awkward to express in my tags rather in the actual post it self since im one hell of an awkward piece of shit hihi#ANYWAY TO THE TOPIC OF ME QUITING#this has been very long due#like i mean everyone has to have seen it coming#specially since i dont post as frequently and j lost most of my motivation#one. because school is my current priority#two. is my personal life !!! i’ve been vry vry busy keeping up with irl frends and also my family#but the main reason had to be my lack of motivation as in its non existent#next topic !!!#i will be deleting most of my asks and random posts soem of which are memorable to me will be rbloged to my personal acc !#ah and yes will i be coming back?#probably will be lurking time to time but who knows i might actually come back on joshuas bday solely to post a joshua mb HAHAHAHA#ilovemyman frr#I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS ON THE DAY JOSHUA ACTUALLY POSTED ON HIS IG#ok im getting sooooo off topic#but like hooray my last theme is actually jjong toram HAHAH#i actually quited before november like the end of oct but i was too lazy to make a post about it hehehe#but luvi knew ofc :>#anyway if were close moots frel free to add me in discord not like im actually really active#@stariaz. 🤓#who knows i might actually take this back if suddenly the little devil inside me decides to revive itself#anyway this is user k-yujin offically(?) signing off 🤓🤓#ALSOOO DOESNT MEAN I QUITED PPLCAN USE MY STUFF W/O GIVING CREDS !!! (ehem ehem my dividers 👁)#please give creds or i will literally come alive#i still have someone who acts as my eyes here even though j wont post no more#guys i have to wake up at 5 am gud night 🤩#also i cut my hair ���#thabks for 3.4k though 🫵🫵
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Tigran: launching into a story about a time when he was 7 and watched a guy get eaten alive by dogs, completely unprompted and unnervingly blasé about the whole thing.
Etsushir: not listening, warming his hands over the nightly allotment of yams, smoking.
Palo: this is the tenth time he's heard this story, not listening, wondering whether Etsushir is smoking tobacco and where the hell he got it and can he have some?
#Lore:#Tigran has kind of a psychological fixation on people being eaten by dogs. Which is rooted in childhood trauma but it's hard#to tell because he loves dogs and always seems weirdly enthused by the whole concept.#More lore:#They're cooking on a dry dung fire which is very common in the region in general- largely grassland and savannah. Most of the#formerly wooded areas are deforested both on a long scale due to the drying climate and on a short scale of human use.#Wood is a valuable commodity and grown in agricultural regions and harvested with coppicing or otherwise imported by sea.#The northeast has an intact forest that hasn't been widely exploited due to distance from urban centers and impracticality of#transport over land and that's pretty much it.#The Highlands also retain woodlands within the interior but the formerly surrounding forests have been heavily exploited#(due to proximity to major rivers) and were fully wiped out within the past century.#The fact that cremation is the default and expected funerary practice and also used in most sacrificial offerings heavily#contributes (cattle and khait dung is allowable for these purposes due to the animals' sacred status but not considered preferable).#(associated with lower class funerals)#Anyway bottom line dry dung is going to be what the majority of people use for everyday fuel needs and also what pretty#much everyone on the pilgrimage is using (which the wealthier members are unaccommodated to but these guys are)#etsushir#tigran otto#palo apolynnon#the white calf
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Kinda in regards to the Empress & BodyGuard 2-
Is Zaphira (sorry if I spelled her name wrong) an elf or do humans have pointed ears in your universe? If no elves, how do the pointed ears happen? Are there different length of ears and if so do they mean somethin?
Love your art & use of colours!
Thank you! and thank you for asking! (this sketch took me way too long .. and the colors still look washed out on my desktop screen but im not editing a third time ..)
Zaphira is human, there are no elves, as such, in this world, though humans tend to live longer than IRL and have differently shaped ears-
the shapes are rather diverse (example above) and culturally (so far) they have no significance, they are merely a trait just like different nose shapes or fantasy hair colors
the worldbuilding reason is that these are extremely diluted demonic influences- in the past demons were frequently in the human world, though largely in secret/disguised, and long time exposure to demonic presences can have varying effects, the most immediate and common being a longer life or wounds healing faster than normal; there might have been other long time effects but the only trait that stayed even after their disappearance is the ear shapes
(there was a mass extinction event of demons that wiped out all above a certain age, since demons generally dont die of natural causes their life neither depends nor revolves around reproduction so there were extremely few left and those were too young to keep most of their knowledge and culture alive, as they rarely wrote anything down; Shargon is of the current oldest generation and witnessed it happen, just like most now adult demons, Thor and Eadrya are both a bit older than him and thus the oldest living demons, which doesnt mean much considering the technically endless lifespans of them)
and to explain me including Shargon in a human appearance- hes the only demon that spends as much time in the human world as at home, largely to escape the others since they are not interested in going there and would otherwise attack him any chance they get (the human world is rather uncomfortable for demons to be in and they have better things to do than to chase him that far), while hes generally very weak compared to them, something he is very good at is shape shifting, mainly the speed of which, being able to shift between full demon and the smaller more humanoid form extremely quickly, or even mid forms that are a mix of both - even in motion! while for the others it takes them quite a bit and forces them to stop which is the main reason he keeps escaping them not able to keep up with his rapid shape shifting (though it does take its toll .. also a reason hes so skinny)
he is the first (only?) one that at some point will learn how to shift into a much more human looking one (depicted in the sketch) too, but its rather dangerous since it involves supressing and compressing his demon heart and system... which is what keeps demons alive (its somewhat like holding your breath for way too long) so the only time he would make use of it is in extreme situations, like avoiding detection by maschines that can pick up demonic energy or escaping shackles made of celestial silver (which drains their energy and can scar/hurt them permanently, like silver to vampires(?werewolfs?) in a way)
....the point is that if he shifts into a human form he has very long ears, meaning that is basically the extreme form that doesnt occur in humans and hints at the origins for those ear shapes being demonic exposure in the past
#ganondoodles#art#original characters#original art#oc#ocs#oc lore#man i cant ever keep it short can i#its 1am again ............#welll i hope that answers your question njdflndflnjlsd#also as a sidenote- zaphira and midas are siblings but not biologically#she was adopted into the royal family and is good chunk older than midas as he was born a while after shes been there#he was supposed to take the throne after their parents died in an allegedly accidental fire but he was like ... 6 at the time#and begged her to take up the throne instead despite the people not being very fond of her due to her agressive nature#.... which was proven correct in a way given she waged war for many years after taking up the crown#(.. bc she found out their parents were killed by a neighbouring country and the fire placed to get rid of traces)#(no one but her and a few officials knew of that being the real reason she attacked that country and not just a lust for power)#(midas still doesnt know -even now)#( though it got out of control and she ended up taking over multiple countries .. hence her title)#(after her wife died she swore to never engage in war again and been spending the last .. 20?30? years trying to repair the damage she did)#just adding that again bc its kinda central to her entire problem of everyone and their grandmother wanting her dead#and her being determined to do as much as she can before midas has to take over and pick up the pieces#..............though none of it goes as planned of course#ANYWAY i need sleep#sorry for the long text spam#i cant help but yap about my special lil guys
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"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]
#*chanting* skask skask skask skask-#vincent aurelius lin#adamandi#hello. let's talk about what's going on here! i've been tossing the idea about here wrt skin translucency ever since that post came out#(it's linked above fyi. but to quote it.) 'attempting to pursue this unachievable white ideal of the young academic; maybe leading to gory#representations of mimicry; replacement; taking on someone else's skin; altering the self'#this is primarily key in vincent and the skask; in the actual show iirc they used a jockey mask or smth? but i was thinking about the#delightful way skin is semi-transparent. and so a literal layer of skin alone would be unlikely to provide the whiteness pursued-#the under layer of the original tone would be there. so smth about the failure and unattainable.#additionally; at this point of the show the skin would have been likely yellowing or greying due to post-mortem development? so even more#Not white. from observations (as a kid;comparing skin tones?) white people have a pinker undertone (this might be. a generalisation but.)#here the lighting is yellowish to further push the difference + give the super harsh lighting that if you suspend disbelief has some hair#appear as blonde to further the ambrose-ness.#also the hair- messier on the non-ambrose side; a reference to the whole monologue about the haircuts they got#we bring to you also another episode of <i like drawing fabric folds> in the jacket symbolism! from bottom right to top left; it tracks#vincent throughout act two: the initial long jacket for standing out (nonchalance?) at ardess is removed; the yellow coat is put on- aided#here by ambrose's ghost which is represented by the hand! (it is very very slightly transparent- you can see the jacket pattern through it)#(if you look close) and then the satchel goes over it; this mimics the clothes in <oh ms reporter>#and then the Actual Ambrose jacket goes above along with the skask; following the outfit from the pyre scene at the end.#the spark/star thing is partially foreshadowing for the upcoming stabby eye trauma thing (@quincy) and partially just so i could highlight#the eye of the mask/ the place where vincent's eye probably is Behind the mask. because i liked the idea of merging faces; intersection.#back to the translucency of skin - you can kind of make out where the rest of his face is from the darker bit? aka it's not the same colour#as the skask. smth smth limited effectiveness...#tldr? face skin. jacket skin. altering appearance over time; unfeasibleness#when i was doing this i suddenly remembered covering my skin in talcum powder as a kid... hm. i'd forgotten about that.#anyways! when i posted my first ever adamandi thing i had the thought of 'this musical makes me want to paint' and surreally enough#that has proved to be so so true. and ngl i am really enjoying it? love it when the motivation to create is there haha#i will add as a disclaimer that i'm literally chinese and if the colours look off.. i did not mean to make a caricature. please be nice#that said because stage lighting tends to shift colours about a Lot i essentially used my own skin as a reference under yellow light?#so hopefully that checks out. <disappears>
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I find it fascinating how afo is able to understand others emotions easily and able to manipulate them through that understanding, but when it comes to his own emotions he's overwhelmed and struggles to process them. often leaning on the denial of them in order to deal with them.
#there's very few occurrences where he shows genuine emotion in the story#not counting the times where he's filled with hate due to tomura and emoting wildly#but the few times we see him show genuine emotion often leave me wondering more about who he really is#so much of himself has been defined by the part he's chosen to play that we don't really see the true man that lies underneath#he's been a part of the story for so long yet I feel like I barely know him#I can only examine a few brief moments of where he shows his true self and infer from there
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my gay son
#aka filet crochet that took me 9 months to complete#this is not new he has been in the closet for about four years. hes auite heavy as well so ive not worn him very often.#anyway to me he's not really a scarf he's just a big old rectangle to me#and the blocking on this is actually sooo bad bc as u may be able to tell that thing is gigantic and i ran out of black thread and the stor#where i bought it way on summer break so i bought black thread somewhere else and i thought it was the same yarn weight but it was ever so#slightly thicker so the last ~10 rows are really wavy. thats issue no 1 the second problem with the hugeness was that i just had nowhere i#could block it on so i mcgyvered a solution which was a wool blanket tucked over my sheets and i blocked it on there and i wore my#bathing suit to sit on it to block bc it didnt work any other way. and then come night time of course it was still wet (even tho i pointed#blowdryer at it for so long that the blowdryer switched off by itself due some child safety mechanism) and i had to take it off my bed so i#could sleep on it. so yes the blocking is a bit wonky#crochet#mine
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Team ranchers Week-Oct 27: Canary in the deep dark
There once was a thriving cavern city that had the ability to jump to another world. Over time something seemed to make people sick and violent. The town above destroyed any way for people to leave, hoping to stop, whatever came through the portal, from killing them all. Only tall tales and legends remain of its destruction, a warning.
Background
Under a town there was a huge city in a cavern, the massive portal was often on. It wasn’t until a canary bird flew through that it stopped shining. They caged the bird, hoping for answers unaware that something else had entered through the portal before the golden bird. Sculk. Sculk has made its way through the portal. It started covering parts of town, seemingly appearing out of nowhere (The infected people spread it). A group of traders had entered the city but when they had suggested to get rid of the sculk as it made them feel ill. Most were violently thrown from the town, somewhere never seen again.
Once the Town above heard of this they tried to investigate, however only 2 of the 3 recon team returned. Fearing an outbreak of whatever had caused their sister city to descend, they took every tool and sealed every entrance and exit. Some affected people of the city begged to be let out, others violently tried to make their way out of the dark. But as the final entrance was sealed they were left in the deep dark nothingness, except the light blue glow of the sculk. Any survivors either starved and or took desperate measures to eat the remaining sculk. Everyone else was already one with the Sculk.
Jimmy is from the portal, he came through in his canary form trying to escape the sculk that was consuming his world. He was trapped in a cage unable to shift back. Unable to warn them of the dangers on the other side of the portal. Unable to tell them of the infection that they allowed into their world. He was trapped as they were sealed in. Someone came and picked him up. In the chaos the cage was dropped, breaking on impact. He immediately flew away from everyone and everything. (I.e. he found a hole to hide in so he could unshift safely.)
Jimmy tried to show the survivors soul fire but everyone soon died. Jimmy tried to culling the sculk back. Due to the lack of resources and him being one person he couldn’t stop the spread completely. He needed food and he needed to rest so desperately he set fire to the edges of the city before turning into his canary form one last time before he slept. There he stayed fixing the wall of fire anytime he woke up. He wouldn’t let what happened to his world happen here.
Wardens are a mashup of the people who were infected, their bodies were torn apart and their souls screaming. Wardens always try to find a way out both from the people wanting to to get out and the Sculk’s need to spread. (‘baby’ Wardens are horrifying as they are mostly just torn flesh and broken bones as the sculk hasn’t covered everything yet)
Tango is the mechanic of an expedition team that consists of Pix (The leader and Anthropologist), TFC (Miner expert), Scar (The Naturalist), VintageBeef (The Cook) and Cub who is the navigator/ cartographer.
Plot Ideas
Pix learns of a City underneath a ghost town that is surrounded with warnings about a dangerous infection that took over the city. Along with the stories of adventures going missing looking for it.
Pix got in contact with Doc, Joe, Cleo, Vintage, and TFC for either them to join or help out. Cleo told him about Cub, Cub brung on Scar and Doc suggested Tango to go with them. Cleo and Joe couldn't go on the full expedition but they would check on them and help bring them supplies. (Joe is a medic)
After 2 weeks of mining they find a cave near the main cavern. Joe and Cleo stopped by with more supplies before they breach the cavern.(Last time they ever see some of their friends)
Tango meets Jimmy first. Jimmy heard something abnormal and went to investigate, he stole a bag of chex mix. As he was flying away Tango heard a bird. Upon investigating the noise he found a yellow feather and saw a bright almost glowing canary flying above a ruined city surrounded by blue fire. (There's no way a bird could have gotten down there, there was no way it could have with no one noticing)
After they discovered the cavern their tunnel collapsed trapping them (Alot of their stuff is back there)
Cub’s hand gets cut while they inspect the cave in
They officially meet Jimmy who tells them to go back and that its dangerous to be here. After explaining their situation Jimmy tells them where it's safe, and to stay away from the sculk while they try to get out (Light is an issues down here (Jimmy has a half working redstone lamp in his ‘home’))
TFC is trying to figure out how to get the tunnel open again without it collapsing, Pix is trying to get as much information from Jimmy about the town/ trying to get a closer look. Scar is trying to get a closer look at the Sculk with cub,Tango is helping Vintage prepare dinner
Cub slipped where a fire had gone out, face planting. He and Scar laughed it off as he pushed himself up and went to go eat with everyone. (They told Jimmy and helped him relight the fire, as he explained how it worked) (They didn’t realize the cut on Cub’s had was enough for him to get infected)
After meeting Jimmy/ the tunnel cave in: some of the fires that kept the sculk in check started going out (Jimmy is extremely low on resources to restart the fires, fires go out for many reasons but this is starting to be abnormal)
Someone suggests that if they got the tunnel back open and caused a cave in to trap the sculk then Jimmy could come with them. Jimmy is very against this as more people may come and find it only for the fires to be out, causing an apocalypse.
Scar is the first one to find out Cub got infected. He had noticed something was off about him but after being trapped for a while he brushed it off. It wasn’t until after he interviewed Jimmy about the sculk (Read: Bothered Jimmy about the sculk cuz he was curious) and the fires where being put out when he realized that something may be more deeply wrong with Cub
Scar tells Jimmy about his worries and they go together to confront Cub (Telling no one smh). They find him at the edge of the city. Scar jumps towards him and asks a bunch of questions but Cub cuts him off. Cub confesses that he thinks he got infected when he fell a while ago. He tells scar he’s liked him for quite sometime. That he wishes they had said everything sooner but it's too late now. He says he loves him, he always will. With that Cub runs through a gap in the fire, into the city.
Scar yells after Cub and tries to follow him but Jimmy stops him. At this point everyone hears him and rushes over. They also help keep scar from running into the city (Jimmy couldn’t keep it up much longer)
Jimmy tries to tell him that Cub is gone.
Despite Jimmy being extremely against anyone going into the city, he’ll go look for Cub. Solidarity says he’ll see if he can see where he is and what he's doing (Some newly infected once tried to activate the portal. There's no way he could ever handle an outbreak like that. This is one of the main reasons he does go looking)
Jimmy gets injured/ attacked while looking for Cub (A Warden ‘woke up’ and heard Jimmy flying). The Pix grab him from the edge, saving him from being infected. (It's a very VERY close call) (Cub running into the city is what woke the warden up)
Pix gets infected while saving Jimmy and he discovers the soul sand under the sculk (He drops a normal torch on a patch of sculk and it turned blue. Killing the sculk around and leaving a patch of soul sand exposed)
They know they need to leave immediately, Jimmy is against leaving as the fires are going out and if they all got out, the Sculk would follow them. Vintage brings up the food situation isn’t looking good.
They try to figure out how to kill the sculk and or keep it from getting out forever
Cub isn't dead. Not fully.
More Wardens wake up. They can't pass the soul fire but they do have ranged attacks. (Jimmy's 'base' is on the opposite side of the city however it is high enough to avoid any major warden attacks)
Their only saving grace is wardens can't see, the problem is Infected Cub still can.
Pix tells TFC about his Infection. TFC Grabs Jimmy under the guise of the structure of the cave. They talked about Pix’s infection and the soul sand under the sculk.
They talk about how if they could set the city ablaze it would kill the sculk, that's when they go get Vintage, Tango, and Scar to tell them of the situation and their idea.
Tango says if they can blow up certain areas carefully then it would almost kill all the sculk. They could go in soon after and burn it by hand.
????
Jimmy stays with Tango after everything
Scar moved in with Grian and Mumbo so he wasn’t alone after Cub died
Other things
Pix and TFC are old friends
Cub and scar are Roommates
Cleo and Joe almost joined but they had other commitments and couldn’t join/ They do supply runs
Doc was contracted to build machinery for the expedition
Jimmy has a very limited amount of food. He tends to sleep most of the time (Your hunger doesn't go down when you’re sleeping). He also tends to stay in one form for long periods of time as shifting takes a bit of energy. His Canary form is much more convenient to travel through the deep dark and to keep an eye out. While he mostly only uses his human/ hybrid form to relight fires
Both worlds have hybrids but only Jimmy’s world had hybridization (I.e. he wasn’t born with wing nubs)
Jimmy’s world is dead. Jimmy knows that at that point there was no way for the Sculk to have been stopped. If Jimmy had been there for a few more days, he would be dead. He knows this.
Jimmy hasn’t had a proper conversation with someone since a little before he went through the portal
Soul fire doesn't go out on its own- it needs to be punched and or water to extinguish it. (There is a huge reservoir of water above that dips down and occasionally puts out the fires)
Jimmy and Scar become really good friends after as Jimmy understands the horror of sculk and losing people to it
Jimmy stole his boots from a corpse (He's gone through a few pairs of shoes, one pair was gifted and the rest were stolen )
Tango used to be apart of a company called ‘The Boomers’. He knows his way around explosives, including how to make em
The Expedition team isn’t the first ones to find the cavern. Only about ¼ ever find the cave but very few of them leave. The first two times Jimmy didn’t find them till they were already infected. Some of them tried to escape so in a panic Jimmy pushed them into the soul fire. After that he started to look for people every time he wakes up
Art
From the initial page to my most recent for 4 am
*Not pictured the designing hell of Jimmy
#teamranchersweek#Its very late and unfinished but shhhhhh#I was just going to do a drawling but it spiraled rapidly into an AU.#Im only doing this day; I really liked this prompt#ranchers#rancher duo#convex#(They weren't supposed to be here by they invade my mind and wouldn't leave. )#TFC#Tin Foil Chef#pixlriffs#Tango Tek#jimmy solidarity#vintagebeef#cubfan135#goodtimeswithscar#I totally didn't forget about this like 2 times#There is no official time line. It dose happen over the course of a while tho#Jimmy has been focused on the sculk so long that hes barely even a person anymore; its only Sleep. Light the fires. Look for adventures. Sl#hermitshipping#I guess#Theres supposed to be more Ranchers at the start when they met and slowly start to have actual conversations#And how if Jimmy is near the group he tends to be near Tango#Also Jimmy is in his canary form when he gets injured#so Pix picks him up and throws him at Tango (In Pix's defense WARDEN)#Tango helps him take care of his injury in both forms. Jimmy forcibly shifts (Despite it being a terrible idea and it hurting even worse) J#(Jimmy doesn't think to ask Pix how he's doing due to his wing basically being shattered and being thrown like a football didn't help)#Canary in the dark Au#PlatAus#plat's art
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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thinking abt what you said with house viewing Benny as a son and I’m obsessed. Like. The man spent most of his life before the war presumably alone, and then after the bombs fell he was alone again, save for AI he himself devised. Then he decides to pull in some Tribes, and one kid shows promise! So sure, treat him well, train him, groom him to be his protege, then next thing you know UH OH he’s got developing paternal feelings towards this guy. Wanting some semblance of a family when the time has long since passed, yet fostering that feeling all the same seems so accurate for him. Benny meanwhile only views him as a boss, and not a particularly good one at that. makes me wonder how House must’ve felt when he found out about Bennys plans
I view it as House blames only himself for this, cause he kind of does in canon (strap in this is a long one).
When reflecting on the issue of Benny, House chastises himself first and foremost for not acting quickly enough when it comes to priming Benny. He describes Benny as being ambitious, ruthless and capable; compliments coming from a man like House. House has an ego and while he is logical enough to understand there was never any evidence Benny saw him as a father-figure, he lacks the humility to admit he let his own views on his relationship with Benny blind him to the activities happening behind the scenes.
I doubt that House was as aware as he makes out about what Benny was doing, he knew early on but certainly not early enough to stop Benny from hacking and obtaining a securitron along with getting the chip in the first place. I take it he was distracted by all the possibilities he was calculating of Vegas' success and growth with him steering and Benny as the new figure head, not because of any normal affection for Benny but the admiration of his capabilities. It's to be noted that House believed menial incentives (likely caps, booze, basic needs, etc..) were enough to keep Benny tame like the other Chairmen but, as evidenced by the Omertas and Mortimer in the WGS, this is not enough when it comes to more driven Vegas citizens. This implies he still undervalued Benny and created a space in which Benny felt the need to rebel.
House in my eyes is not sentimental in the traditional sense. I can imagine his pride was severely scorned as someone he certainly deemed dumber than him was, albeit only for a little, able to out-gambit him. It would definitely hit home seeing how his brother also betrayed him but I feel like that's why he's so apathetic when he tells the Courier to do as they see fit with Benny. I doubt the way he terrorized his brother brought him any emotional satisfaction other than a "Now who's in charge!" ego boost. Putting that same emotional intensity towards Benny isn't worth it because who does it benefit? Wasted time, wasted planning, and most importantly wasted potential are all he gets from continuing to be hands-on with Benny. I say the closest example is not being able to throw out old toys due to the memories attached but knowing it's necessary as they are broken or just taking up space for new ones, and then asking someone else to do it so you don't need to get caught up in the feelings of throwing something you put so much effort into. It's not Benny House cares about in my mind, not in a way that sounds healthy to any non-emotionally constipated individual, but what he could've represented for him, which is why he so quickly offers the same position to the Courier.
As for Benny's view on all of this, it was a long time coming. Benny didn't and doesn't believe House is a completely shitty boss. He admires what he's been shown and admits House knows how to run the strip, but disagrees with the directions. Ideologically, House is an anarcho-capitalist while Benny is just an anarchist. House wants to run the strip to profit, though money is not what he's concerned with being rich with anymore. Benny wants a free state that he wishes to become a place for the people, except for the Chairmen who would be on top (I like to remind people that Benny's motives were selfish but not for personal gain/power as was it for the people he actually saw as family). Benny was never looking for a father but a future. He was not interested in being adopted, or having the chairmen adopted, as bigger names still overshadowed in House's legacy.
Truly, it's easiest to summarize as House feeling strongly and thinking positively enough of Benny to start incorporating him into the future of Vegas (a huge honor actually) while Benny was so disillusioned by House's ego and indifference that he thought the only way Vegas could be the future is with House gone.
#tdlr House saw Benny as the perfect face of his Legacy while Benny saw his legacy as a stagnant mosquito infested pond#its more complex as house certainly would of been irate if he hadn't known and the courier came to kick benny's ass#but more someone being mad youre fucking with their things#i likely thing that even in a more traditional father son relationship House is conditional and would force Benny to confrom more to his#standards as I also believe the Chairmen are more tightly monitered due to bennys unique relation to house and being the first tribe#so itd be smothering and oppressive for someone like Benny even though imposing his beliefs and standards would be how House shows affectio#and fatherly praise which would result in Benny probably wanting to act out even more. like the only way a father son dynamic is healthy an#works is if house would relent some control and show he sees benny as an equal which would never happen cause its house but its still tragi#to me cause house has that longing for something more personal to him than Vegas and tries to fill it with progress cause its rather hard#to create those bonds in the state he is in and benny was the closest thing to that and even that he inadvertently ruined#but on benny house kinda ruined him cause the chairmen for all intents and purposes liked and trusted benny as a leader after bingo who#benny really only killed because of the illusions of grandeur house put into a young impressionable mind and how bingo refused to hear him#not to absolve him of his wrongdoings and being a dick but benny didnt just attack bingo he challenged him and won and in the end while#nostalgic none of the chairmen choose to leave and go back to the old way which says something cause they can leave#this is long and honestly should a seperate post on benny cause i have thoughts on him and how more people need to add his all roads traits#to get a cohesive picture of how hed really act#benny gecko#benny fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#robert edwin house#mr house fnv#mr house#ask#anon#sorry if this is confusing I have very indepth thoughts on all aspects and possibilites on how unhealthy and power inbalancey anything#with house would be but this is so interesting cause its oddly vulnerable for house of all people to disclose this to the courier
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On the topic of How Do You Handle XYZ Comment, I've always wondered how you handle terrible responses on your toh takes. Like I know the toh fandom doesn't lack piss on the poor reading comprehension and they also really enjoy wildly out of touch takes, but I've never seen any comments on your princess luz stuff of that nature. I'm sure they must be there but maybe I'm too early? But anyway, how do you tend to deal with the "acktually shipping luz and Hunter is incest" and the "ur not a real lesbian because putting amity in a poly ship is lesbian erasure" and the "as a white person kinda sus you make the poc woman an empress" kind of responses? Ones that are technically not hate and maybe if you squint could be from people who aren't inherently trying to do bad but just lack the maturity needed to engage with the internet at large?
this ask made me giggle. honestly, i haven't received as much pushback as you might expect! way less pushback than i expected. in the princess AU, i've gotten a LOT more "this is actually too grotesque for me to stomach" comments than "this is problematic" comments, which is fine. horror-thriller isn't for everyone, those comments do not upset me.
i have had a Few run-ins with bad faith people, whom i mostly block. there's one prolific commenter in toh tumblr fandom who would repeatedly write angry essays on my humor meta posts -- essays that were all about how belos is too evil to be sympathetic and/or about how hunter is a soft gentle boy who shouldn't be jokingly referred to as evil. then they'd go "i can't help my active and conscious decision to type a bunch of rude fucking words and then my active and conscious decision to send those rude fucking words because i'm autistic :(((" around the fourth or fifth time this happened, i was fucking done with that nonsense and finally blocked them. shoulda done it after the first comment tbh!! no more autism exceptions.
as for the rest of it, my main management strategy is to simply.... preempt the bad faith comments?
i had a LOT more unpleasant and conflict-filled fandom experiences when i was in the raven cycle fandom. that was my first exposure to "you can't ship multi-gender polycules if anyone involved is gay" and "queerplatonic het relationships are just heteronormativity shipping that you're trying to get away with." having dealt with those takes before, i've found a few different ways to disarm bad faith readers before they get started.
first is to be super open and honest about my interests. i talk about what i find compelling in different relationships All The Damn Time. it's really hard for anyone to accuse me of only wanting hunter to fuck amity if they've seen, like.... anything i've said about hunter and amity.
same with hunter and luz. the only negative reactions i've really gotten to how they're written in the princess AU is like.... two people being squicked by camila thinking they're romantically involved. i REALLY expected more pushback on the touchyfeely bed sharing stuff, but from what i remember, there's never been Any....? not even from people who consider them siblings.
i expected a lot of pushback on how mean hunter and amity are to each other, since it's taken So much farther than the canon. but it turns out that there's a very large overlap between people who like dark horror AUs and people who like hunter and amity murdering each other. (in a fluffy fic i don't think this characterization would fly Nearly as easily.)
i find that being funny really disarms people, too. when you look at any of my toh meta posts that could be controversial, they're basically all funny. people are a lot more willing to listen to what you have to say if you make them laugh, and it's harder for them to get angry at you.
and then the last thing is that i think i'm in sort of a privileged position in toh fandom. i've written a lot of controversial subjects and relationships and characterizations.... but i've also written some WILDLY popular mainstream fic. and people who like the mainstream fic don't really want to beef with me about differing niche opinions, bc there's a level of respect there. which they might not have for a writer they don't like.
but anyway. when things Do happen, i almost always just block and move on. there are so many people here who get what i'm talking about that there's no need for me to try to convert people who don't, you know??
#also the 'making a character of color an empress is problematic' thing made me laugh aloud#as for THAT... i don't think i've ever been accused of racism in how i write luz (or camila or raine or darius or hennessy for that matter)#i'm obviously imperfect and have blind spots as a white writer. but i also like to think i do my due diligence#at the Very Least i have Black and latine friends willing to sensitivity read for me & i've gone to native spanish speakers for camila's#dialogue. etc. if anyone has a take that's THAT bad faith about how i write women of color i'm just gonna uh.....#assume that what they really mean is that they want me to write white boys exclusively.#and well. i will not be doing that!#replies#toh#princess luz au#long post#if there are typos in this i apologize. i was out again all day and i am Le Tired
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Malware Torrents: The Telltale Signs
Be careful with piracy torrents you guys. The majority of them are legit, but every once in a while you'll find someone trying to use them to spread malware. Recently someone uploaded a torrent masquerading as an episode of a TV show I like, but when it downloaded I saw it was actually a disguised shortcut (.lnk file) with a crypto miner attached to it, with just over 1 BILLION zeroes added to the end to make the file big enough to look like a valid video.
The first warning sign was that the episode was uploaded almost 3 days before it actually aired. That's rare, really only happens with hacks/leaks and those are usually newsworthy. Second, my automatic media organizer software refused to import it because it was "not a video file". Again, weird; why wouldn't my software recognize a valid video?
However the BIGGEST red flag was when I went to look at the downloaded file, it had a tiiiiiiiny curved arrow on it indicating that it was actually a shortcut, not a video. When I hovered over it, it showed that it was actually pointing at a completely different file in a protected system directory.
When I viewed the shortcut properties, I could see that it was going to run a command prompt and execute a batch command that installed an executable that would run every time I started my computer (basically, do a bunch of shit it shouldn't be doing. A video file shouldn't even have a target field, let alone one with command prompt stuff in it).
I had to learn how to use a hex editor to delete the billion zeros and separate the .lnk part (the install command) from the actual malware, and the instant I did that Windows Defender flagged it:
So. How can I identify suspicious torrents ahead of time?
When I went to inspect the torrent, in hindsight it was easy to see it was bad because of the file extension, but you can only see that if you inspect the files in the torrent, not just the torrent name. Many piracy sites don't bother showing you a list of files in the torrent ahead of time, so be sure to inspect them once they're in your download client.
I recommend familiarizing yourself with common media file extensions and then inspecting your torrents for outliers; any file name that includes a non-media extension like .lnk, .exe, .cmd, .bat, .ps1, .sh, etc. is automatically a huge red flag!
Secondly, look for that little shortcut icon before you open anything you download from the internet. And finally, don't ignore suspicious things that are adding up (in this case, the fact it was posted before the episode's actual air date, and the media organizer software flagging it as "not a video").
I think Windows Defender probably would have caught it if I had actually clicked it and the malware had tried to install itself, but our goal is obviously to never get to the point of clicking on viruses at all! So be aware of the warning signs, use antivirus software, and sale the high-seas safely!
#i've only run into stuff like this twice in like 10 years of downloading#so don't let this scare you away from torrenting#just posting to keep people safe and informed#the next thing on my list is a guide to piracy via torrenting but my time and motivation has been very low due to life stuff lately#fingers crossed i get to it soon!#torrenting#piracy#computer security#cybersecurity#mine#long post
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I love FNAF because even once you take out all the lore, the supernatural or sci fi elements, the dead kids, robots, etc. there's still so much horror left in because of bad business practices, corporate greed, cut corners wrt safety measures, and the ways kid's entertainment can be warped and weaponized by callous profit-chasing
#fnaf#i have a lot of feelings about fnaf#i went into a spiral for like 3 days just thinking about that ominous ~all staff meeting~ in security breach#and how many times the in-universe franchise has been rebooted#despite the busload of dead kids they're responsible for due to negligence alone#like ... there's A LOT there#even if you're not into the other stuff#which i very much am#i can understand why this messy ass franchise has held on for so long
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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i don't give a fuck that i'm getting older but seeing my loved ones aging does make me insane if im honest
#who else up with insomnia due to uncontrollable spiraling about the inevitable deaths of everyone they care for#im sure this is not a good mental health litmus but i'm not really sure what the best move is since it's not a fear i can reason away#my mom has been wanting to talk about her plans for when she dies#and her family is really long-lived so i'm hopeful that won't be for a long time#but it's so upsetting to talk about because i can tell she finds it upsetting to think about too#and seeing my parents uncertain still feels very scary in some ways even though i'm an adult now too#i know it's better to discuss it than live in denial but still :(#death mention#personal nonsense
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