#I mean now I'm back to one ep a week but that's alright

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

I KNEW IT!!! I knew that one of the two episodes left of the year had to be a holiday one aha!! *LE GASP* does that mean the last one will be sonic 3?

*nods* respect 👏

A Christmas special with TARI, oooh! and noticeably a shorter one too, huh. alright, let's-a GOOOOOOOO

(the following is my live reaction:)

aww, look at Tari being adorable (see that's how you get me, have my favorite characters do cute little hops and my life is yours)

bringing back the side characters LET'S GOOOO

CLENCH omg you're back I hope you can stay for the whole episode

ooooh tari's christmas list just dropped. hmmm let's see...

Saiko = KFC Theme Guitar (honestly slay) Mario = Spaghetti Necklace (whether he's going to wear or eat it, he'll enjoy it regardless) Kaizo = Scythe Polish Luigi = Gardening Kit SMG4 = Body Oder Spray (my man can't catch a break, "he stinks" canon) Belle = Nintendo Switch Case SMG3 = Dog Grooming Kit (for Eggdog awwww) Melony = How to draw Manga book (nice callback to "SMG4 and SMG3 Shop For Cursed Items" episode for Christmas shopping) Whimpu = Glasses Repair Kit Boopkins = Body Pillow Cleaning Kit (...) Bob = Karaoke Machine (that's actually sweet considering he is a rapper and the obvious choice would be a gun or smth, tari's a good friend) Rob = Corn Keychain

the cliche superhero transition *wheeze*

can I just say I love the fit Mario has on

1920's spaghetti?

i did not expect to see Sonic 06 (foreshadowing, eh?) and as a sonic fan, i gotta respect the hustle

now, i know it's supposed to be disgusting and you obviously have to put gross things here to convey that but... there's that eye imagery again.... *flashbacks ensue*

oooh Christmas party! I wanna see that!

aww tari did get clench a glove, maybe she didn't want to spoil the surprise too soon

also let's take a moment for that board in the bg:

"Random Text Here Shameless Advertising Happy Birthday smg4!" then something signed by a "Fan"

gotta love the small details

gonna be using this as a reaction pic for now on

Mario, don't you guys have a basement? pretty sure no one will grab the bag in there

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMG OMG THERE'S NO WAY THIS IS REAL THEY ACTUALLY USED CANTRO'S OUTFIT DESIGN FOR THIS EPISODE THAT'S AWESOME DUDE (am aware that the Team used the model before in a previous ep but it was only shown for a few seconds, this is BIG)

new merch, eh?

...i'll take your entire stock

Oh Tari, it's okay to say no. Four did ask if you had time

beautiful commercial....wha? Bob, da hell are you doing? oh the usual

charity? understandable, have a good day

PFFT HAHAHAHA that grenade bit somehow got me

oh Four somehow teleported outside, chair and all

*wheeze* the way they just latch on the back of the cop car like that

BOOPKINS? ...yeah I should've seen that coming. and he's on a toddler seat too

question for the people: is UNO a board game? if not, then boopkins, you got it wrong buddy

RIGHT NOW?! boopkins she's got her hands full

GEEZ even I'm getting stressed

gonna be real here: it was actually a good choice to have the plot at a faster pace just so we could feel Tari's stress rapidly building up

oh hey Meggy's matching with Mario (love that for the M&M siblings) but Saiko, girl, please get yourself a coat :( you're gonna freeze

OH GOD Tari, i need you to breathe please! all of this is stressing you out, it's okay to say no

...oh no

i can't look dude, i know Tari's technically fulfilling everyone's wishes but this isn't the way to go :(

C'MON TARI, HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT IN TIME PLEASE

NO NO NO *flips table* oh poor Tari

OH NO CAN I GIVE HER A HUG PLEASE? *shakes my laptop screen* LET ME INNNNNNN

WTF NO SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS

TARI DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE VOICES IN YOUR MIND, YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND

...three? let me turn the brightness up

yeah that's Four's model but for some reason has Three's voice and line.... huh... (I'll come back to this later)

dude, i literally had to pause and leave the room

fuck you got me tearing up. Team, is that what you wanted from me?

no tari, it wasn't your fault :( you didn't ruin anything

YES TELL HER, SAIKO

STAWP I'M THIS 🤏 CLOSE TO FULL-ON SOBBING WTF

FAMILY IS FOUND 👏👏👏

...wha? Three?

wait, this whole episode was you were retelling what happened to Tari, to Eggdog?

...that actually puts things in a whole new context (I'll talk about it later)

*gets hit by the book*

AY Congrats to Mango for your art being featured in the end credits! 🎉 what an awesome Christmas gift from the Team honestly

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

This was a fantastic Christmas special! This really punched me in the gut (but in a good way). Everything, as always, was amazing. Excellent job, Team!!! Too bad Clench couldn't be in the whole episode.

Oh Tari, my girl :( I felt the emotional rollercoaster along with her and I just wanted to give her a giant hug.

Me 🤝 Tari → people pleasers with a dose of abandonment issues

Tari, I've been there and I promise your friends aren't gonna leave you. What you can offer, what you're able to, that is worth something. It doesn't need to be material, just being a part of their lives is enough. No matter how big, because to them, it could mean a lot more than what you think.

It's what I've been struggling too, that the people who have approached me only wanted what I could offer, but not as a person. And it takes time to heal and open up again to people who are worth opening up to, but you'll get there.

So, to remind you (yes, the one behind the screen): you are enough. We are enough. What you do, means a lot more to other people than what you think. You'd be surprised how much a second of your presence means to people, and they value that. It's why it's okay to say no when you aren't able to, they'll understand if they truly do care for you. I promise, time will come around for you to find the good ones.

That's why I love this show. It isn't just a "silly meme show", it's so much more than that. Yes, it does have its funny moments but it can be emotional, dramatic, exciting. And even relatable. That's the point of stories. Like I said countless times before:

Every story, no matter how outlandish it seems, is grounded in reality.

That's why I'm glad this was one of the last episodes of the year, to bring it all back that it's a story that we all can relate to in some way. That we aren't alone. Grab each other by the hand and take one day at a time.

Oh boy, sorry for that emotional stuff. Just wanted to bring some comfort 💙 With that, I'm gonna bring back what was the most interesting of this episode: SMG3

It wasn't until the very end that we realized this whole episode was Three retelling Tari's story not only to Eggdog but also to Terrance.

(If I remember the layout correctly, right in the same nook above the fireplace is where Terrance's photo is placed)

So, yes, he is reading a bedtime story to both of his sons. (just gonna cry in the corner for a second) He's such a dad 🥺

Anyway, i shall put my theorist goggles on:

Back in the part when Tari was too late to buy the Crew presents and the voices in her head were bashing her for failing, we have SMG3 for some reason come in:

To be clear, that's Four's model (notice the lack of chip of the cap) but Three is the one saying: "And I thought I was evil..." Other than being the narrator, Three wasn't in the story, so the question is why?

The obvious would be that the Team simply made a mistake and forgot that they placed this in. Ok, sure, that's if it was on accident. But what if they did it on purpose?

As Three stated in the episode "Trash Friends", he truly believes he's "the worst version of SMG4"

Think about it: the basic roles for them are Four as the hero and Three as a villain.

If Three was ever in an episode all of a sudden is because he is the negative force of the story. Recall back to the episode "Meme Hunters" when Three was forced to be "the conflict" of the episode.

Now, it may seem harmless but to him, he was afraid to be perceived as nothing more than "SMG4's cheap and worst copy"

And also in "You Used to Be Cool", people have noticed when he does lay back a bit from the usual villain/rival role and bash him saying, "This isn't you."

Hero or villain, you're seen differently by everybody

Then there was the whole "moral of the story" part:

Ofc, it's a whole thing that Three refuses time after time that he's not friends with the Crew

Now with the context that we have, we just got a peek into Three's fears/insecurities. Basically: if he opens up and accepts that he has friends, they might try and take advantage of him. So, what should he do? Close himself off, be an asshole, and deny, deny, deny.

Despite risking literally everything, INCLUDING HIS OWN LIFE, for them, he's doing this to protect himself from emotional harm when he's the most vulnerable.

There's indeed a trope that villains, especially redeemed ones, would have a sense of empathy of some kind. They know what's like to hit rock bottom, it's why they can empathize with the people who least deserve it, like Tari. (Even with Four back in IGBP.) So yes, as much as this is a story about Tari, it also relates to Three.

How can you have what you want when you're the one holding yourself back?

Three: "I also need love, understanding, and tenderness." [IGBP movie, Spanish dub] Three: " I just want the USB in that spaghetti in your stomach so I can use it to gain fame and love that SMG4 has too much of, okay?!" Mario: "...Is that it? Silly SMG3, you could of just told Mario instead of suppressing your inner emotions and your fear of being forever forgotten." [Trash Friends]

I mean, look at the last episode, he was so happy to know he got fanart.

The pressure he has, the role he has to play, what he's perceived as. It all affects him. Sure, he doesn't care that he's not perceived as the standard definition of a villain but he is really as human as he can be, with fears and desires.

Another way to see the "failure" part of the episode is that Three could never see Four in a negative light. Sure, Four has made terrible mistakes but past the YouTube Arc, Three has never seen Four as a villain (again, the role of the hero thing). Four is flawed just as he is, but since he's the one telling Tari's story, he replaces Four with himself in the narrative.

It's not confirmed it's because he cares about Four in this instant but it's obvious he has done it on purpose. All because that's the role he plays, one he absolutely fears, "an evil and worst copy of Four".

(For all we know, he might've altered some other things in the story we haven't even known about.)

AND the fact that he's telling it like a bedtime story to his son(s) as a warning, so they don't go through what he went through when he was younger (his whole parenting of reminding them that they're loved and appreciated for even the smallest things)

So, long story short: me 🤝 Tari 🤝 SMG3 → underlining abandonment issues

I've been noticing that a lot of points from past episodes are starting to resurface again (like IGBP) and I do hope we get to bring back what's going on with Three. Then, we might get Three having the same conclusion that Tari went through: as much as he wants to deny it to protect himself, he'll realize that it's okay to be vulnerable and have friends.

And he'd be surprised how much of what he did was valuable to them. That what he seeks is already right in front of him. After all, he's already part of the Crew :)

He would just have to let himself avert his view and see the truth.

[danikatze]

[ID in alt text]

✨ This scene ✨

[jirsungs]

ep. 4: p.y.t (pretty young thing)

word count: 1.4k words

After discovering that the Park Jisung, the same guy who spilled his entire drink on your brand-new outfit a month ago, was in Rockway, you had little time to back out. There were twenty minutes until four, and you were mentally debating with yourself about whether you should tell your friends a useless lie or suppress the pettiness you felt.

But who could blame you? The dumb emo wannabe, with his stupid and cute glasses, ruined your outfit, and it took a whole week out of you to wash out the stains to the original color. Not only that, but trying to hide the mess from Ningning, who gifted you the outfit, was the hardest part that night. And for the big cherry on top, his excuse to go get napkins just to end up ditching you and never coming back is one of the oldest tricks in the book. So much for thinking you could get his number by the end of the night.

“Yo, Y/N, you alright?” Yeonjun's nudge to your shoulder takes you out of your trance.

You look around the room and see Yeonjun sitting next to you on the bed. Across from you, was Ningning sitting on your desk chair while Jaemin and Renjun kept themselves busy with your knickknacks on the bookshelves.

“Yeah, I'm fine. But how'd you guys get in here?”

Ningning gives you a disapproving look before retrieving the spare key from her purse, holding the metal object delicately between her thumb and forefinger. You suddenly remember that you entrusted her with a key.

“Now, what are we waiting for? Get changed, girl!” Ningning gets up from the chair and pulls you up by the arms.

“Yeah, it's almost four.” Renjun chirps out. He's now sat on the floor with most of his focus on the liquid motion bubbler sensory toy set in his hands. With you out of the way, Jaemin steals your spot on the bed.

“Okay okay, just give me ten minutes,” As you walk over to your closet to rummage for an outfit, you quickly snatch the sensory toy out of Renjun's hands, “And this is mine!”

“The fuck was that for?!”

Ten minutes turned into twenty, and when you and your friends arrived at Johnny's house, it was already crowded.

You all follow Jaemin as you squeeze through the crowd. He stops in the middle of what seems to be a hangout space and turns around to make important eye contact with everyone. "Okay, whatever you do, do not - and I mean, do not - drink whatever concoction Johnny gives you!"

Renjun raises his brow before asking, "You learned that the hard way, didn't you?"

There's a short pause.

"Maybe."

Jaemin was about to go over some more warnings that were associated with Johnny's parties until the attention shifted to the man himself as he tapped the microphone set in front of him.

"What's up, yall! You know me, I'm Johnny, and I'm glad you all made it tonight, before I pass the mic to my boy, Mark, I just wanted to let everyone know that my bedroom is off limits. After last time, I'm not trying to clean another mess up. Alright, thank you." Johnny removes the mic from the stand and signals Mark to take it, "Let's make some noise for Mark, everybody!"

Like clockwork, applause, and scattered cheers of the band members' names echoed around the room, including from your friends while you stood there slowly clapping your hands to not feel excluded.

Everyone's attention then turns to a guy named Mark, who, as mentioned earlier, has a guitar strapped around him and is dressed in casual, baggy clothing.

"Hey, guys. Once again, thank you for all coming out to support Rockway tonight. As requested by our beloved vocalist, Haechan," Mark is suddenly interrupted by cheers from the crowd at the mention of the vocalist. But he isn't a bit mad as he chuckles, looking over at his said band member who mirrors his delight.

He continues once the crowd quiets down, "As a request from Haechan, we'll be covering a song. Tonight, we will be giving you Rockway's version of P.Y.T, Pretty Young Thing by Mr. Michael Jackson. Please enjoy."

As the audience begins to applaud, Mark backs away from the mic, Haechan taking his place in front of it. Amidst the crowd, the noise of two drumsticks tapping against each other catches the crowd's attention.

And that's when you see him. Jisung.

Somehow, you feel the crowd blur out, and what's left is you and him. He begins to start the beat on his drums, leading Jeno to follow with his bass shortly after.

Ningning dancing and singing along next to you has your eyes finally being pulled away from the drummer, and that's when you realize Haechan's already singing the first verse.

Where did you come from, lady? And, ooh, won't you take me there? Right away, won't you, baby?

Your friends jamming out diverts your attention from Jisung for a while as you catch yourself singing along with them.

It almost felt like a mini-concert, and no one had their eyes on you.

Or so you thought.

Your ears pick up Haechan's vocal of the chorus, and your eyes move on their own, looking at Jisung once again.

And to your surprise, his eyes meet yours right when Haechan sings the line,

I want to love you (P.Y.T.) Pretty young thing

Talk about perfect timing.

You feel yourself getting hot because your eye contact lasts a lot longer than it should, but you can't help but not pull away. He's the first one to break contact when he stumbles on his rhythm, but he gets back in so swiftly that you're the only one who recognizes it, and the crowd is left unnoticed.

It was 8:10 when Rockway finished their set, and against your will, Yeonjun, Jaemin, and Renjun left to introduce themselves to Haechan and Chenle, who were socializing in the crowd. While on Johnny's living room couch, Ningning was busy chatting with Mark and Jeno once she found out they were fans of her work.

Which left you in the kitchen, alone, a solo red cup half full of cherry soda, the only thing keeping you company.

You watched the drink swirl around as you lightly spun the cup with your hand until you felt an arm brush against yours, leading you to look up at the person.

And there he is, once again, Park Jisung clothed in a baggy black shirt which he paired with even baggier denim jeans. And of course, his big black-framed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

He doesn't see you looking at him when he's pouring himself a drink, but that's before he murmurs a "sorry" under his breath when he catches a glimpse of you.

That's when he sees you in a cute short dress and your arms are covered by a cropped denim jacket. Your hair dolled up, just as he remembered.

But his ogling doesn't last long when his eyes reach your eyes again, and they don't look... as pleased.

"So, you can say sorry. Good to know."

His brows furrow at you, almost as if he's trying to analyze the reason behind your malice tone, "Excuse me?"

You scoff. How could he not remember?

Before you can say anything, Jisung speaks again, "Look, I just wanted a drink, that's all. My bad if it got your panties in a bunch."

He immediately leaves the kitchen, leaving you stunned by his new attitude. You feel the frustration welling up inside you, steam practically pouring out of your ears.

As Jisung leaves, Yeonjun and Jaemin enter and spot you leaning against the counter, your drink perilously close to spilling as you angrily squeeze the cup.

"Woah, easy, girl."

Your mood softens as you spot your two friends, and Jaemin reaches to take the cup from your hand, which you oblige.

Jaemin busies himself by pouring a cup for him and Yeonjun when he asks, "Who's got you looking all mad?"

"Jisung. This hatred for him will last for more than a week, so Yeonjun," You look over at your friend who takes his focus off his phone, "Bet 30 dollars instead."

Then, you walk out of the kitchen, leaving your two friends to exchange looks in pure confusion.

When you're out of earshot, Yeonjun exclaims, "My ass, I'm betting 30 dollars!" prompting Jaemin to snicker.

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

note: my first written chapter!!!! i'm kinda rusty since it's been awhile but i hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it :)) the next chapter will finally reveal jisungs side of the story 😔🙏

🎫: @idkwhatursayinh @sunghoonsgfreal @multifandomania @nanaxwi @odxrilove @sourrpatched @hancafe @chaellaa @dojaejunging @jising-jisang-jisung @heheheeral @haechansbbg @leeknowarchives @seunghancore @woshixinqgiu

[keravnous]

treat me like a s!ut ; tangerine x fem!reader (smut, 18+)

read pt. 1 here | read pt. 2 here | read pt. 4 here

Tangerine comes home to you scrubbing the blood out of one of his button-downs in the bathtub. He always had a thing for seeing his favourite plaything on its knees.

word count: 9,5 k

warnings: spanking, fingering, oral (male receiving), cumshot, toys, bimbofication, housewife kink (that a thing??), mean/strict dom!tangerine (but he's actually a big softie), negotiated objectification, uh face slapping - once or twice, daddy kink, pet names, spit kink, size kink, name calling, multiple orgasms, edging, (heavy) squirting; this man is into some nasty shit - convince me otherwise, my feminism left my fucking body alright, the angry man™ makes my knees go weak

i listened to kim petras' slut pop ep and listen, it-, I-, so -, yeah. Lost control, I guess. I also saw the pictures of atj in a million little pieces and that didnt help much

thank you mel for encouraging me and thank you v for enduring me while writing this

You barely hear the door of the town house falling shut over the splashing of the water.

You are currently kneeling - very much to the protest of your upper back, which has been causing all sorts of pain during work at the office today - over the tub in your spacious bathroom, water still running into the already half-full, half-bloody bathtub. Your arms are wet up to your elbow from trying to scrub out some nasty and very resistant bloodstains out of one of Tangerine's shirts.

He had been in a nasty pub brawl after last week's West Ham victory and, knowing it was one of his favourite shirts, you had tried your best to get it clean. But even two rounds in the washing machine didn't do much. Thus, you decided to give it a good old handwash.

"Love?", you hear a familiar voice calling out and you huff with exhaustion, sinking back onto the heels of your feet.

"Yeah, I'm in the bathroom!", you answer and a moment later he appears in the opened door, leaning against the frame, arms crossed.

"What're ya doin' there?", Tangerine furrows his brows. He is wearing one of his suits, hair still neatly combed back like he hasn't been out for 8 hours, doing God knows what.

"Hand washing this shirt of yours, stains won't go out in the machine", you pull the fabric out of the tub, water slushing down. There's little improvement. You decide to rub a little harder.

Tangerine says nothing - just watches you, dressed in nothing but a big shirt and what he assumes are panties hiding underneath its hem; watches the way it scoots up every now and then when you scrub with more force, confirming his suspicions. It is a tiny light blue string made from fine lace, one, that he had bought for you a while ago.

He swallows, feeling himself growing hard in his slacks. It is not just the sight of you - even more so it's you doing this for him. Cleaning something up, that he had messed up.

Actually, he's thankful that you are going out of your way to clean up his clothes. He knows that it is a hell of a job to get blood out of any sort of fabric and he feels guilty for somehow putting you through it, especially since it is painfully obvious where the stains come from.

He knows it was your decision to stay - to stay with him - to keep up with the life he leads, and the job that brings in the tons of money keeping you afloat comfortably.

Still, he feels like making it up to you. There is something about you kneeling there, doing chores, that remembers him of something you had said to him a while ago. Something that now has his blood pumping, making him feel like he's about to burst.

"Darlin'?"

"Yes?", you say, brushing a loose strand of hair from your forehead, a few drops of water running down your cheek.

"Get up, love."

You look up, eyes furrowing with confusion. "Why? I am nearly done with -"

"Wanna properly say Hello to my little housewife, me", there is a mischievous gleam in his eyes and it has your heartbeat picking up immediately.

You know what that means. You have been speaking about this: the idea of him coming home after a long, maybe even dangerous day and just taking you, bending you over the nearest surface because it pleased him - that the thought of him treating you like nothing more but an obedient housewife, cleaning up, keeping everything tidy and clean for him, and taking his cock whenever he pleased, made you wet. That the thought of being nothing more than a stupid little hole to him excited you.

The first time this particular thing had come up, had been after Tangerine returned home late after a delayed flight. You'd been up still, cooking him dinner. What was intended as nothing but a sweet gesture of adoration - knowing that he'll be both hungry and exhausted - turned into something else, after he had grabbed your hips from behind and bent you over the countertop for a quick fuck. It made something in your brain click, a new desire taking over your fantasies.

Now, you swallow, his shirt slowly sinking back into the soapy water - with its swirls of dried and darkened blood of some poor soul who was unlucky enough to meet your man on a particularly violentday - as you get up.

"You don't have to, you had a long day", you say softly.

"It's fine, lemme do this for ya", grabbing the nearest towel you dry off your arms and hands before coming closer to him. He stretches one hand out.

"C'mere", Tangerine smiles, all bright teeth and lines around his eyes and you do - taking his hand and then he pulls you against his firm chest, your hands resting on his shoulders. You inhale deeply, taking in his scent - wood, vanilla, orange - that wraps you in like a heavy blanket and you sigh.

"Don't burn yourself out over this fuckin' shirt, dove", he mumbles into your hair, arms wrapping around you, one hand confidently grabbing your ass cheek.

"I wasn't", your nose brushes over his throat, lips peppering gentle kisses to the soft skin. His hand firmly brushes over your tense shoulders, feeling the hardened tendons and both of you know that you are lying.

"Relax, love", he whispers, lips ghosting over your ear, "Let Daddy take care of ya."

And your body obeys to him as quickly as it always does: sinks against him, muscles going a little slack. You allow yourself to surrender to him fully, body going limp and mind going blank as you hand control over to him.

Tangerine's hand brushes through your hair, cups the back of your scalp and gives you a few gentle, patronizing strokes while one of his strong arms wraps around your waist, keeps you pressed against him upright.

"Y'good, love?", he says quietly and you release a satisfied hum.

"Words, poppet, be a good girl."

"Yeah -- yeah, I'm alright, keep going", you whisper against his chest, "Please."

The hand stroking your scalp vanishes, fingers brushing over your cheek and cupping your chin until it is lifting your head up. Your eyes meet his.

"So, what did I say?", Tangerine says sternly, gaze boring into yours.

You swallow, breath hitching a little and your chest heaves with it. The tone of his voice has your head swimming, your tummy tingling with want. The hand on your cheek is warm, the cold tingle of his rings on your skin grounding you.

"What did I say?”, he says again, squinting at you. It makes your knees buckle.

"N-never scrub without a brush", you whisper, lust making you choke on your words.

"Mhm, exactly", he hums, nods, "Then, why didn't ya do it?"

"Because --", you suck in air through parted lips, thighs rubbing together, eyelids fluttering, "Because I am stupid, stupid girl."

"That you are, m'little airhead", he says softly, voice growing deep, "And what do stupid little girls get?"

"Punished", you whisper, eyes glowing with excitement and stomach tingling with it just the same. You know, that he is not really mad and it sure does feel like a lot like it, making you bite your lower lip.

Tangerine nods again, thumb caressing your cheek. "Get on the bed, get naked - ya can still do that for me, can ya, silly? Or did ya little brain already leave your pretty head, there?"

You shake your head, fingers clinging into the expensive jacket of his suit as you stand up straight again, mind already a little hazy.

"Good", Tangerine nods slowly, eyes darting down to where your bodies meet. His hand leaves your cheek and you whine but it crawls down, one long finger hooking in the collar of your shirt and pulling it down. He tilts his head a little, as he's looking at your cleavage, tits pressed up nicely by his chest. You're not wearing a bra and he smiles - cold and cruel. "Get going, love, I wanna see what's mine."

You nod, swaying a little on your feet as you take a step back, arousal pooling in your abdomen. "Don't take too long", he says, gives your ass a lazy slap as you walk past him.

You do as you're told, carelessly dropping your shirt and panties on the armchair in the corner of the bedroom, before climbing onto the soft mattress. Splaying out on your stomach with your feet dangling in the air you wait for him until he finally, finally enters the bedroom. He is still wearing his suit, only dropped his jacket, and is carrying a small pink bag. You know what's inside, stomach tingling at the thought.

Tangerine tosses it onto the bed and sits down next to you, hooks his slender index finger beneath your chin, guiding your head up. His thumb brushes over your lower lip and your jaw goes slack, tongue darting out and rubbing over it. He grins and pushes the digit in, has you obediently closing your lips around it, sucking on his thumb.

His other hand wanders up to his tie, loosens it and then carelessly drops it to the floor, pops open a few buttons of his shirt.

"Stupid lil' thing, hm", he hums, "Sucking on my thumb like it's my cock? That needy already?"

You nod nod nod, blinking up at him and his other hand cups your chin, keeps your head in place. Your tongue rubs over the pad of his thumb and Tangerine licks his lips, eye twitching a little. "Listen here", he bows down a little, voice nothing but a growl, "Ya gonna take what Daddy gives ya, y'hear me? If I wanna see your little cunt cum ten times, then that's what we're gonna do, 'lright?"

You nod around his thumb, excitement fluttering in your tummy but he just tsks at you. "Thought so -", pulling his thumb from your mouth he pats his thigh, "Time for your punishment, love. Only good girls get rewarded, don't they?"

"I wanna be a good girl", you whisper, as Tangerine deliberately and carefully rolls his sleeves up. Eagerly you crawl over his lap and then sink down, upper body on the mattress, hips on his thighs with your ass in the air. You can feel his already rock-hard dick pressing into your stomach and your whole body tingles with lust at the sensation.

"You wanna be a good girl?", Tangerine says, mocking your tone, as one large ringed hand grabs your ass, kneads the flesh, "D'you know what good girls do?"

Biting your lip you shake your head, looking at him over your shoulder, through your lashes. "They don't fuck up simple tasks."

"'M sorry, Daddy", you say cutely and he fucking growls at that, a dark shadow dancing over his blue eyes, turning them navy - into a stormy sea. Tangerine's hand rubs over your ass, the other presses down between your shoulder blades. The stretch in your back is delicious, and the way it presses one side of your face into the mattress has your head swimming, eyelids fluttering. "Legs together, dove", and you obey, pressing your thighs together, "There ya go. What d'ya think? Fifteen?"

You mewl, feet kicking with excitement, wetness pooling between your legs. "Want you to say it", Tangerine's hand plays with your ass, grabs one cheek and spreads it apart, thumb digging into the flesh and kneading it, "Go ahead and tell Daddy you want him to hit ya."

"Uuh", you mumble dumbly, heart racing and pussy already wet, and he scoffs at that meanly, "Wanna - Daddy, please - want you to hit me!"

"For?"

"F-for being a stupid girl."

"Atta girl", his hand gently strokes your ass cheek, "You'll get fifteen - no whinin', no yappin'."

"Y-yes", you nod, biting your lip in anticipation, readying yourself for the first hit. And he wastes no time, gives your ass a light squeeze and then his ringed hand comes down, hits your right cheek with a loud smack. You gasp, eyes falling shut as you feel the tingling burn spreading through your backside.

The second and third hit follow, making you moaning quietly - warmth spreading on your skin, the slight burn tingling.

Tangerine watches your skin slowly turning into a soft pink and grabs a handful, thumb brushing over the forming bruise. He hums quietly to himself, hand wandering down, caressing your inner thigh - his rings are cold, bracelet rustling, and shivers run down your spine.

He squeezes the flesh of your thigh, hand wandering dangerously high and you hum, but it vanishes before being close enough to your cunt. The other hand on your back adds a little more pressure, and you gasp at the stretch.

"Such a pretty girl", he hums, bounces you on his legs a little, "What a shame you're so silly."

You whimper, hands aimlessly darting over the sheets. You want him to hit you again, with your ass already feeling a little sore and the way the slight pain runs straight to your core, makes your pussy so so wet.

"Can't even clean a fuckin' shirt", he tsks just as his hand comes down once more, two quick blows on your left and right cheek, has your ass jiggling with the force of it. He watches it, then grabs a handful and feels you up.

His thumb digs into the flesh close to your crack as he toys with your ass, and you can feel the way it spreads your folds apart. Your pussy is desperate for any sort of friction and you gasp as your clit throbs, rubbing your thighs together.

"Uuh-huh", is all that leaves your mouth dumbly, with his hard cock pressing against your stomach, hot and twitching through his slacks. It's hard to think, to form a coherent thought - all that's on your mind is his thick cock. "Daddy--", you gasp, rutting your hips down on his thigh, fresh wetness running down your legs and onto his trousers.

"Stop - fuckin' - movin'", each word lands another blow and you cry out, trying your best not to move on his lap, but the sharp pain has your hips jolting upward, shoots riiight into your cunt, hole clenching.

"Oh, you're really enjoying this, aren't ya, poppet?", Tangerine scoffs as you moan, your legs falling apart a little, "I can smell how wet you are, darlin'. Lemme see."

Your fingers claw into the sheets, wanting nothing more but the smallest touch. His large hand brushes over your ass, rings cold on your hot and reddening skin and then it dips between your cheeks, brushes down your crack and between your thighs.

"Fuckin' hell", he whispers as his index finger runs through your folds. He wasn't wrong - you are incredibly wet, thick watery slick makes his finger slip over your pussy smoothly as he assesses your arousal. Easily, he slips one ringed finger into you, bottoms it out. Your cunt clenches around it and he marvels at how tight you are, a trembling moan leaving your lips. It's not enough, you want him to fuck you - hard and fast - but it has your chest fluttering nonetheless.

The finger retreats as quickly as it entered you, circles your hole and thehand on your back crawls down, gives your left cheek a light pat that has you squirming.

"Nothing but a set of pretty holes f'me, aren't ya, love?", and you mewl, feet kicking a little as his fingers continue to run through your folds, his other hand now landing another blow on your ass. It stings nicely and you moan, desperately trying to roll your hips onto the finger rubbing lazy circles over your clit.

"D'ya want Daddy to put it back inside?", and you nod nod nod, but he just laughs.

"Words, silly, good girls use their words, don'they?", and you inhale a shaky breath, before lifting your head a little, looking over your shoulder.

Tangerine looks at you, one brow smugly cocked, and it's only the slight flush of his chest visible underneath the unbuttoned collar of his shirt that betrays him. That, and his hard dick pressing against your stomach.

It makes your head swim, blinking up at him dumbly, lips falling agape a little. "Uhh", you breathe, "P-please--"

Tangerine lands another blow on your ass and you gasp loudly, followed by a desperate noise leaving your throat. "Words, slut."

You look up at him with big, watery eyes. "P-please", you say, voice shaking a little, "Finger m-me."

"There ya go", he says softly, finger abandoning your clit and pressing into your hole a moment later. He slips it in with ease, buries it deep inside of you and immediately starts to thrust it in and out.

"Yeah, wan'me to use you, eh love?", he fucks into you fast and deep, squelching sounds filling the air, "Want Daddy to stuff your pretty little hole, don't ya?"

"Y-yes", you plead, feeling his finger brushing over your walls, his golden ring against your hole. You can hear him hum and then his hand comes down for two more hits on your ass, has you clenching around his finger, moaning against the sheets.

Tangerine wastes no time, adds a second finger, stretches your tight hole out with the way he pushes them in, cold rings slipping in a little.

The sensation nearly has you going insane on the spot, rutting back on his fingers which earns you nothing more but another blow on your right cheek. "Keep on movin' and I tie you to a fuckin' chair for the rest of the day, whore", and you moan, hips stuttering and he pushes a third finger in.

Obscene squelching sounds of your hole being fucked and filled, of your slick wetting his fingers, emerge between your legs and you gasp as his digits brush over your favourite spot. Your loins ignite with it and your abdomen clenches, cunt squirting against the palm of his hand.

"Please, p-please - oh - fuck, fuck", you brabble, eyes tearing up and he tsks, shakes his head.

"Ah ah ah c'mon, words, love. Don't ya curse - you're too pretty to curse like Daddy always does, aren't ya? M'pretty lil' thing, eh?"

His hand comes down on your ass hard, has you gasping loudly, wincing in pain while his fingers continue to fuck you.

"One more, baby", and your hips buck, "Can my slut take one more?"

Tangerine's hand caresses your reddening ass, where a bruise in the form of his hand forms, an angry red and dark red where his rings hit your skin. His bracelet rustles and he grabs a handful, jiggles your left cheek. "Y-yes", you moan, his fingers rubbing your walls, making your legs tremble.

"Ready up", he says and you can hear him grin. Still, nothing can prepare you for how hard his hand comes down and how loud the blow echoes off the bedroom's walls, how the pain shoots through your ass and right between your legs, has you crying out with both: pain and pleasure.

Your walls contract around him as your lower belly contracts, squeezes his fingers and he knows what's about to happen, knows your body like his own.

"Don't you fuckin' cum, now", he says sternly, with his fingers pumping in and out of you, pushing your slick in and out in and out, and then in once more, as he nestles his fingers deeply in your tight and hot cunt halting any movement, "Be a good girl and hold it fo' Daddy."

Your muscles clench and your thighs contract, as you're giving your best to hold back your release, chest heaving as you moan into the mattress.

Tangerine leans down a little, his other hand wrapping around your waist and keeping you in place, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. "Don't" - he whispers, the fingers inside of you start moving again, their pads very very slowly rubbing along your walls - "You" - his tongue darts out, licks over the shell of your ear, moustache tingling a little, "Cum now."

Your chest heaves with every ragged breath that you suck in, hips trembling and cunt squirting against his fingers, lust pulsating wildly through your loins and making your head swim as you are trying your best to just not cum. Tangerine chuckles lowly, gaze wandering over your body, taking in the way your legs tremble and feet kick - he can feel the way your walls clench around his fingers and he really, really wants to get you on all fours and just bury his cock inside of you, fucking you senseless until you're a brabbling, drooling mess. His dick is so fucking hard, pressing against his slacks and it has him on the edge, the beast inside him tearing at the seams, but he knows better than to just act upon it, wants to make it better for you.

Tangerine watches the muscles is your legs and back relaxing over the passing minutes that you warm his fingers, walls and pussy growing plush and warm warm warm, as you hold him inside of you, breath slowing down a little with it, too.

"Mhm, there ya go", your hole flutters around his fingers as he pulls them out and you mewl, legs wobbly with your denied orgasm, cunt aching for just another small touch. You can feel it pulsating, your clit throbbing.

"Daddy", you whine helplessly, hips lifting a little, "N-need your cock." And he's gonna give it to you, feels like he's about to burst anyways.

"Shh shh", Tangerine coos, sticky hand rubbing over your sore ass, the slight pain igniting your lust even more, has fresh wetness pooling between your folds, "Good girls get rewarded, don'they?"

You nod frantically, thighs rubbing together. "Well," you can hear the grin forming on his face, "Get on your fuckin' knees, then."

Tangerine parts his thighs a little and you scramble from his lap hastily, sinking down between his spread legs. Your ass is sore and burns and as you sink on to your thighs you can feel the sting, eyes tearing up a little and you blink up at him - hands resting obediently on his knees.

"Look at ya", he whispers, a dark shadow dancing over his eyes, as he licks his lips.

Tangerine cups your face with both hands, carefully brushing a few loose strands from your cheeks and forehead. Your hands brush over his thighs, feeling his muscles twitch beneath the expensive fabric and then you lean in. You're all cock-drunk, needy and wanting with your cunt pulsing between your legs. Your tongue runs over the outline of his clothed dick, leaves a damp stripe behind and Tangerine groans, eyes growing even darker. "Fuckin' hell, you really need't be stuffed, huh", he watches you running your lips over his bulge and he feels like he's about to burst; creaming into his pants like he's fucking 16 and living on the streets again, watching some hooker giving a City man a gobby behind a dumpster.

"Stop it", Tangerine husks, grabs your hair, and yanks your head away, breath already a little ragged, "Fuckin' behave ya'self."

Your eyes gleam up at him and he grins, thumb brushing over your temple gently. "C'mon, get my dick out, will ya?"

You comply, fingers hastily fumbling open his belt and pulling down the zipper, opening the fly of his pants and yanking his satin boxers down.

Tangerine inhales sharply as his long and thick dick springs free against his abdomen, tip flushed pink and glistening with precum. Your mouth waters at the sight and he wants to drag it out, he really wants to, feel arousal pumping through his veins - gets high on it like only adrenaline usually does it for him.

But it's physically impossible - the way you're looking at his hard cock with watery, dopey eyes and flushes cheeks while kneeling in front of him naked has his boner fucking aching. "Fuckin' get to it already, slut."

And you do, one hand grabbing his dick at the base, tongue darting out and licking a wet stripe up to the tip, flicking your tongue over it and licking his precum up.

You love his cock, you really do. Nice and long and thick, cut and resting between neatly trimmed pubic hair. You love the way he fucks you with it, too, how it never misses the spot that has you seeing stars and white spots, how it feels like it has been made for your pussy and yours alone.

You love how it tastes, salty and musky, and you wrap your lips around its tip, resting it on your tongue - not sucking, not licking - just feeling and tasting his dick.

It's fucking huge anyways, looks like it too, wrapped in by your slender fingers. You close your eyes, tongue swirling around the tip before your close your lips around it, gently sucking while your hand strokes the base of his cock.

"Mh, that's how it's supposed t'be, ain't it, sugar?", he hums, hands brushing through your hair, "Me coming home to ya, my pretty little housewife, ready to please."

You hum around his cock, slowly letting him in deeper, tongue rubbing over the bottom while your lips suck. You can hear him breathe deeply and your gaze flicks up to him.

Tangerine looks down at you, eyes dark and shining with lust, one hand gripping the edge of the bed, his chest flushed. The look on his face makes you wet wet wet, wanting to please him.

You keep your eyes on him as you take more of his dick into your mouth, relaxing your jaw but still gagging a little as the tip grazes your throat. He chuckles meanly.

"C'mon love, you can do better than that, can't ya?", Tangerine fists your hair and you hallow your cheeks, your jaw going slack as you let him in further.

You want to be good for him - good girl good girl good girl - your body practically igniting with every little praise he grants you and you want to hear it again. Thus, you move your head around his cock, sucking him off, tongue rubbing over the bottom his dick.

Quickly, you are overdoing it, choking, and gagging around it, eyes tearing up as you hastily suck in a few breaths through your nose.

"Look at ya, all pretty tits and tight holes, but no fuckin' brain", Tangerine mocks, thumb stroking your cheekbone, rubbing over your temple, and then wandering through your hair, cupping the back of your head, "You look so pretty with my cock in ya mouth like that. Only thing you're good for, eh?"

He doesn't wait for you to regain your breath, rolls his hips once, holds your head in place as he thrusts into your mouth.

You relax your throat, letting him in, the tip of his cock hitting the back of it. Still sucking in air through your nose your eyelids flutter, readying yourself for what you know is about to come.

Knowing him, you're not wrong as he starts to roll his hips again and again, groaning with the sensation of his dick burying itself deep in your throat.

Tangerine watches how his cock vanishes in your mouth, bulges your throat a little and he can't hold back anymore. His hand grabs your neck, thumb pressing against your scalp and starts to fuck into your mouth. "Fuckin' hell", he huffs, your spit slicking his cock as he slips in and out of your mouth.

You moan, sending vibrations through his cock that has it twitching in your throat, making your eyes tear up, gagging a little.

Being used by him like this has your heartbeat picking up, bruises on your ass still stinging and cunt throbbing and you rub your thighs together, hands clawing into his slacks.

"Yeah, that's it -- get's you all fuckin' wet choking on my big cock like that, dunnit?", it does, has you sputtering around the thick base, spit running down your chin, wetting his trimmed pubes.

Holding your head in place Tangerine fucks into your mouth, groaning and moaning occassionally, watches your chin turning wet with spit, eyes wet with tears - your thighs rubbing together. The way he ruts into you has his bracelet and chain rustling.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ", he groans and you can feel his thighs clenching underneath your touch, the muscles underneath his waistcoat hardening and his cock twitching, pulsating on your tongue. You know he's close and you ready up for --

Suddenly, Tangerine pulls his dick from your mouth - has you gasping for air - and takes your hand, the one still firmly resting on his thigh. He holds it in his and then wraps it around his cock, your hand resting beneath his on his dick as he starts to jerk himself off with it. His hand is so much larger than yours, cold jewellery hard and heavy against your fingers, that wrap delicately around his hard cock.

"Keep your eyes open 'n look at me", he rasps, and you can feel his dick twitch in your hand as your gazes lock and then he moans, deep and feral - thick, hot ropes of white cum shoot out of his cock onto your cheeks. He strokes himself through his orgasm with your hand, sucks in a sharp breath as he paints your face white, marks you up.

Your eyelids flutter as you try your best to keep them open, his cum missing your eye by mere millimetres.

Tangerine groans as the last bit of cum lands on your face, goosebumps raising on his skin. His dick slowly goes flaccid after he sucks in a few breaths. Looking at you, he grins, licks his lips.

His free hand brushes through your hair, keeps the strands out of his cum, gently stroking your forehead. "Put m'cock away, will ya?"

You comply, kitten licks cleaning the few droplets of cum from the tip and then his hand lets go of yours, allows you to carefully put him back into his boxers, pulling the zipper back up.

Watching your blown-out dark eyes and puffy lips, he sucks in another deep breath, cheeks reddened a little and the colour spreads down down down his throat, tints his chest in a pretty pink beneath his chest hair, vanishes underneath his unbuttoned shirt. "Y'wanna cum, too, hm silly?"

And you nod, nod, nod.

"Atta girl, jus' a second - we should get ya cleaned up, shouldn't we?"

Tangerine's slender fingers run through his cum plastered on your cheek, scooping some of it up before tapping your lips. You open up obediently and he wastes no time pushing them in, feeding you his cum like it's cream. "There ya go, lick 'em clean", and you do, tongue swirling around his fingers, before he pulls them out and moves them across your face, collecting some more of his cum until he is pushing them back into your opened mouth, "Least that ya clean up well."

You can feel your cheeks turning red, the taste of them mingling with his cum and the remaining taste of sucking him off, has you moaning around his fingers. "Maybe I should fuckin' cum on everything I want'ya to tidy up? Would you like that, whore?"

Your eyelids flutter, nodding like you are fucking possessed. "Yeah, bet you love that. House would be fuckin' spotless. Bet I could fuckin' shoot a load on the floor and you'd lick it up, huh?"

You hum around his fingers and his lips tilt up. "And what would you say then, hm?", his clean fingers, sticky with your saliva, slip from your mouth.

"T-thank you for keeping me busy", you croak.

"So ya do have manners after all", he mocks, looking genuinely amused and gives your cheek a light pat, rings connecting with your sticky skin, "Alright, get back on the bed. I ain't fuckin' done wit'ya."

Tangerine gets up, grabs your hand, and helps you back on your feet, watches your naked form as you crawl onto the mattress. He is still fully dressed and your whole fucking body tingles as you catch him staring, eyes roaming over your flushed backside, your plush and aching cunt resting firmly and exposed between your thighs as you kneel on all fours before rolling on your stomach. You bite your lower lip and - deciding to make a show out of it for him, to finally, finally get what you want and need - you stretch one leg out delicately, arching your back a little.

Tangerine huffs. You look so fucked-out, used, with your swollen lips and dark, lustful eyes. Your cheeks are flushed and your hair a mess, nipples hard and cunt all puffy. But you can't help it - you feel like you're on fire, hands darting out for leverage as you spread your legs, exposing yourself to him.

He kneels between your spread legs, the mattress dipping a little and his hands run over your thighs. You hum, gaze flicking over his strong arms, as one of his hands brushes higher, over your hip and waist, cups your tit and squeezes your nipple.

"Back to actin' like the whore you are, eh?", you squirm as he toys with your nipple, pleasure shooting through your body, fresh wetness pooling between your legs. His other hand brushes up your thigh and his fingers quickly dip between your legs, running through your slick. "C'mon, spread your legs f'me", following his command your knees fall to the side, giving his gaze way to your wet and aching cunt.

Tangerine licks his lips, giving your tit one last squeeze before running down your body, spreading your folds apart with both hands.

"Jesus Christ, you just have the prettiest cunt, don't ya?", Tangerine's thumbs stroke your outer labia, pulling them apart while he watches your cunt throb, hole fluttering open, wanton for his attention. "Wouldn't want to fuck another one, 's perfect."

He grabs the pink bag that had been laying discarded on the mattress and ziiips it open, reaches inside. You stomach tingles as he pulls your favourite vibrator out of it, tosses a bottle of lube onto the sheets. It is slightly curved and has just the right girth and length to be sufficient; you love to fuck yourself with it when he is away, having him cooing pretty things into your ear over the phone while he jerks himself off to your sweet sounds.

Your breath hitches and you watch his every move, cunt aching for any sort of friction and the unspoken promise of being fucked by him with the toy has you going a little dizzy. It's not quite like being fucked by his dick, but it's strong and usually leaves you with shaky legs.

Tangerine's gaze flicks over your face and a smug grin dances across his lips, one hand running over your thigh. "Y'gonna let Daddy have some fun with your cunt?", he brushes the toy over your sensitive clit and the cool silicone has your hips bucking immediately, "Wanna see ya come, such a pretty thing." You roll your hips onto the cold and quickly dampening toy, the friction being nice enough to make you moan quietly.

"P-please", you whisper, "T-turn it on."

Tangerine lifts an eyebrow. "You gotta speak up, whore, don't act like you still got cock in ya mouth."

His command has you blushing, eyelids fluttering. "C-can you", you swallow, speaking up a little, voice shaky, "Can you please turn it on?"

He scoffs, one hand grabbing your thigh. "Oh, of course. Why didn't you say that earlier, hm?"

And then, his thumb presses down onto the little button, has the vibrator coming to life in an instant, presses the tip down on your clit.

"Oh my god", you gasp, throwing your head back, hands grabbing the sheets. "Jus' me, love", he grins, licks his lips and presses the toy flatly onto your cunt. The vibrations are running through your abdomen, and you moan lewdly, grinding against it.

Your cunt pulsates and your clit throbs against it, mouth falling agape - moaning and panting in rhythm with your hips rolling onto the toy.

"Look at my silly little whore", he grabs your chin roughly, his gaze boring into yours as you look at him heavy-lidded, mouth slightly agape. Tangerine runs the vibrator through your folds and you arch your back into it. Squeezing some lube onto your cunt he is running the toy through it, until he decides it's slick enough and pushes it into your hole with one rough, quick stroke. Your hips buck with the sudden intrusion, the way you can feel it vibrating inside of you has you moaning, throwing your head back.

Tangerine gives you no time to assess to the feeling as he starts to immediately fuck you with it fast, obscene sounds filling the air as he pushes the toy in and out of you.

You gasp loudly, closing your eyes and fisting the sheets below you. Incoherent, dumb little sounds escape your throat as you moan and gasp, lips parted a little. The stimulation quickly becomes a lot, nearly too much, has your head falling to the side and eyes darting open, watching how his hand shoves the toy in and out of you. It's also not enough, had your stomach tingling and loins feeling they are on fucking fire, a strong pulling sensation in your lower belly that makes you feel like you might go insane.

"Daddy", you plead uselessly, clenching around the toy, "'S not enough."

"Ah, you poor thing - too bad", Tangerine tilts his head a little, smiles at you meanly, "You'll take it."

His hand abandons your chin and runs over your chest, roughly cupping your tit and giving a light slap before running back up up up, over your throat and then grabbing your chin again. Your gazes meet and something dances over his, dark and dangerous and you know that he is holding back just a little. And you know, that you don't want him to. Do it you mouth and his eyes fall shut for a split second, before opening up again, dark navy hazy with lust.

Your brain goes all foggy and swims with anticipation, as his hand vanishes. It comes back down on your cheek with a loud smack, throws your head to the side.

You moan like you are some cheap whore out of some fucking porno - high-pitched and loud -, throwing your head back with your hands grabbing the sheets hard as your body rocks down on the vibrator.

Tangerine scoffs at you - watches the way your slick mixes with the lube and spreads around the pink shaft - makes his fingers all sticky with it - shakes his head a little. "Needy fuckin' thing."

It's all too much and your legs fall shut, knees pressing together as your body tries both: to flee the immense stimulation and to embrace it, drown itself in it. But Tangerine is having none of it, grabs your knee forcefully and spreads your legs back apart, grabs your thigh and holds it down onto the matress. You whine, chest heaving and body shaking, has your tits bounce with it - his eyes follow the movement hungrily.

"'S too much", you whine, throwing your head to the side, eyes falling shut. You feel like you're on fire, toes curling and eyes rolling back, your cunt all plush and plump and throbbing and so so ready to fucking cum already but you just can't, it's just not enough.

"You'll take what I fuckin' give ya", and your whole body rocks with it, the pent-up pleasure running rampant through your body and you pull one knee up, angling your leg, feeling the toy gliding in deeper. You moan desperately, eyes watching how it drills into you, hips and legs starting to shake.

Tangerine grins at you, tilts his head a little. "Oh", he pouts at you playfully, cocks an eyebrow while his eyes gleam down at you, "Does she wanna come? Does she, yeah?"

His tongue kisses his teeth as his thumb flicks over the button on the vibrator. The sudden increase of the vibration has you gasping loudly, a very vocal Oh leaving your lips, followed by a high-pitched moan. One of your hands darts out and grabs the pillow above your head, giving you some more leverage to thrust down onto the toy.

You can feel the vibration of the toy pulsing through your whole lower body and it has you gasping with it.

"Yeah, that's it, innit?", his thumb presses down on your clit, rubs small circles and it has you coming loose, finally, a near scream ripping from your throat, shaking, and rocking onto his thumb and the vibrator. You squirt, wetting his arms and wrists, jewellery shining with your juices and the sheets get sticky and wet with it. Tangerine whistles lowly, watches how you come undone in front of him - tits bouncing and cheeks flushed - moaning and gasping, the ecstasy has your face in a near angelic expression.

And it gets him so fucking hard.

He knows that you will be ready for him again in no time, edging you leaves you wet and horny even after an orgasm and he just has to feel you now.

Tossing the toy onto the mattress, he runs a finger through your hot and sticks folds, has you whining and squirming. He feels you up, asses your slick and teases your hole for a short while, until sweet sweet moans replace your whining, until he can feel your clit throbbing beneath his finger.

"C'mon", Tangerine unbuckles his belt, "My stupid little whore has another one in her, don't she? One more f'Daddy?"

You whine, knees falling apart like you are his personal fucking sex doll, hole clenching around nothing. Your hands run over your tits, squeezing them while you watch him getting undressed - shredding the waistcoat first, followed by his tie and shirt and then his pants - one of them wanders down down down your body, lazily circles your clit.

Your eyes dart down to his hard dick that springs free as he tosses his boxers away, curving against his abdomen, the taste of it still on your tongue and your head swims with it.

"Don't ya fuckin' touch yourself", he swats your hand away and leans in, spits onto your hot and plush cunt, thumb immediately rubbing over your sensitive clit. Your legs shake, hips bucking and it takes only a few strokes of his finger for you to squirt again, adding fresh wetness to the sticky sheets below you. "No one touches you like I do, eh?", and you shake your head, eyes tearing up a little with lust, "Mh, thought so - not even yourself. Always need me to get ya off nice and proper, don't ya?"

He's right. Whenever he is gone and allows you to touch yourself over the phone you do come, but it's nowhere as good, toe-curling and le-shaking as it is when his tongue and fingers are on your cunt, dick buried deep deep inside of you. And thus, you nod -Yes yes yes escaping your lips like a chant.

He is so much taller, so much stronger than you - could snap your neck in a blink of an eye, rip your throat out with bare hands - and it has your head swimming while you watch him stroking himself, tip of his hard dick flushed pink and your brain practically shuts down fully at the sight. It tips you over, has your mind enter a foggy state and limbs going slack as subspace embraces you.

"You like that? You like being my slut, don't ya?"

"Y-yes, Daddy -- l-love it", you moan sweetly and then he looks up at you, lips curling into a crude smile.

Stretching his hand out towards you, he tilts his head a little. "Spit then, slut", and you do, leaning forward and spitting into his hand. Some of your saliva runs down your chin and he scoffs at that, wets his dick with your spit. You watch how he spreads your saliva around the flushed skin and your lips fall agape, a soft moan crawling from your throat. Your legs spread further, hands running over your thighs - up up up - spreading the lips of your cunt apart.

His gaze flicks up, watches how you expose yourself to him, practically offering him your hole, stretching it out for him. "Jesus Christ", he huffs, feels his heartbeat picking up and then he grabs your ankle forcefully, pulls you closer. You barely have any time processing him manhandling you as he lines his cock up with your entrance, pushes in with one strong stroke, buries himself fully in your pussy.

He grabs your hands and pulls them away from your folds, carelessly drops them at the sides of you body, holds your hips up by your waist - watches the way you split on his dick while you gasp and pant.

His cock is so much bigger than the toy, longer and thicker and you gasp as he pushes in. The way your hole stretches around him is delicious, slight pain igniting your loins. No matter how often you take his dick, you are never fully used to it - the dull pain increased by a tenfold with your overstimulated and plush cunt, welcoming his cock home. "Ssh, there ya go, take it all", Tangerine coos, and you moan as his cock pushes in all the way, rests between your walls, hot and pulsating.

"Such a tight fuckin' cunt", he hisses, as you squeeze around him, while he starts to move slowly inside of you. Tangerine watches your lower belly bulging a little with his large cock, sees where it is fucking into you through your skin. One of his hands hooks around your knee, lifts your leg up a little, the other one gently caresses the small bulge in your lower stomach, feels himself beneath your skin.

Tangerine starts to roll his hips faster, angles his thrusts deeper as he looks at you, brows furrowed a little, hand cupping your lower stomach. You whine and mewl with the agonizingly slow way he pushes his cock into you, a smile tugging at his lips as he watches your face slowly coming apart, eyelids fluttering while you watch him fucking into you.

"You feel so fuckin' good, takin' me so well, eh", Tangerine's thrusts speed up, and your body slightly rocks with it, your hips meeting his. Your head falls to the side and you loose yourself into the way he fucks you - losing all track of time, your body going a little numb, feeling nothing more than his cock inside of you, his hands on your body.

"You fucking slut - fuckin' made to only please me", and you hum, a little drool gathering in the corner of your mouth, slooowly creeping out and dropping onto the mattress. Tangerine's gaze follows it hungrily and his eyelids flutter, while you look at him through heavy-lidded eyes. "Shit", he huffs, hips bucking into your hole wildly, hands gripping your hips, fingers digging into them hard.

You are so fucking pretty to him, all fucked-out with your body obedient to him and your mind buried deep deep in subspace and a part of him wishes you'd never come back - staying in this blissful and stupid state, chasing nothing but pleasure and waiting for him at home, on your knees and offering your waiting holes to him.

And Tangerine can't stop his mind from going there, conjuring up the delicious image of you bend over the kitchen table in nothing but a tiny apron, cunt stuffed with some fucking toy, waiting for him to come home and take you. And that's what he'd do, drenched and dripping in blood, would leave red stains all over your soft skin when he grabs you, pushes his dick into your hot cunt.

It makes him moan, head falling forward a little, a few strands of hair coming loose. He has to hear you say it, feels his balls tensing at the thought. His eyes dart up at you through hooded eyes and dark lashes.

"Who d'ya fuckin' belong to?", he growls.

"'M all yours, fuck fuck fuck", sweet sweet moans fall from your lips and it has him going fucking feral. Tangerine moans deep in his throat, wraps one arm around your waist and with all his strength pulls you up, rests you on his muscular thighs. His shins are resting on the mattress as he hammers you down onto his dick and it has you seeing stars, the way his body presses against you, cock pushing into your hole deeper and deeper.

Desperate for any sort of leverage your arms wrap around his neck, fingers clawing at his shoulders while you turn into puddy in his arms, as he lifts your hips up and bounces you on his dick, manhandles you while you fuck yourself with it. Your tits bounce against his firm and sweaty chest, his breath tingles on your throat.

"There ya go", he grunts as you roll your hips, toes curling with the way the thick head of his dick brushes over the spot that has you seeing stars. You moan and gasp, head falling back as you rock onto him, chasing your release.

"D-daddy", you pant, breath hitching in your throat, blinking away the tears forming in your eyes. It's all too much but not enough and you need him to say it - need him to tell you that it's alright, that you're allowed to come. "'M gonna cum, p-please, I-I -- y-you", you whine incoherently, looking down and watching how his cock drills into you, your juices wetting his pubes and abdomen, running down your thighs, sounds of naked skin slapping onto each other filling the air.

There's a heavy pull in your loins and you gasp loudly, sweetly, hips stuttering.

Small tears of pent-up arousal run down your cheeks and he cups your face with one hand, leans in and licks them away, tongue gliding over your cheeks. "Shh shh", he murmurs, his dark blue eyes prettily framed by long lashes as they transfix your fucked-out gaze, "I'll let ya cum, love - whenever ya want, jus' let go."

"C-can't", you stutter, goosebumps on your skin as you gasp, fingers entangling his dark locks that curl right above his shoulders and pulling on them lightly. And that, that gets him fucking going.

Tangerine moans loudly, his cock twitching deep inside of you. He grabs your chin roughly, holds your head in place. "You fuckin' slut", he growls and you can't help but to tug again, completely out of it and unaware that it might have consequences for you - you just need to feel his cock twitch inside of you again.

It does, has you moaning, lips falling agape. "Fuckin' behave", he growls and then, in a blink of an eye, his hand leaves your chin and connects with your cheek with a loud smack, throwing your head to the side. It tips you over.

You squirt heavily around his cock as you cum, milking him, while rocking down on it and spreading your slick, making it shoot up and wet his abdomen, skin glistening with it. His trimmed pubic hair rubs your overstimulated clit and you release more wetness, obscene squelching sounds filling the air.

Tangerine's cock pulses inside of you as he comes, too, shoots thick ropes of hot cum into your cunt that seem endless while filling you up. You squeeze around him and you feel so so full, his cum already pooling at the base of his dick, pushing out of you, and mingling with your creamy release.

He roughly pushes you back onto the mattress, hands grabbing your knees and then he is rutting into you with near inhuman strength, fucking both of you through your cojoined orgasms. Tangerine's cum squelches in and out of you and you cry out as waves of pleasure roll through your body, makes your limbs tremble and squirt shooting against his dick, wetting his pubic hair and abdomen like you're a broken hose. You can feel it run down your legs, dripping down onto the sheets.

"Fuck fuck fuck", you cry out, shaking wildly and then everything goes white - your own body feeling far far away. Your limbs feel so so heavy but you also feel light, like flying, not a single thought remaining as you feel your orgasm running through your veins, making you shake with it.

It takes a while for your body to snap back out of it, slowly drifting back into reality. The first thing you feel, is a warm body pressing against your back.

"Are y'lright, love?", Tangerine whispers, strong hands running over your arms, your sides, your hip. Your body feels so, so heavy as your mind is slowly coming back.

"Yeah", you croak, throat sore and voice raspy.

"Don't ya move, dove - I'll get ya cleaned up", you turn your head and blink at him, still a little out of it and he smiles at you, presses a soft kiss on your sweaty forehead, his stache tingling a little, "You did so good for me, didn't ya? 'M so proud of ya."

You nod lazily, your hand brushing over his strong forearm. "Thank you, babe", you whisper quietly, all worn out and tired, "I really needed that."

"Mh, you're welcome, love."

***

It's the faint smell of coffee in the air that carefully tickles you awake the next morning. Outside the opened window birds are chirping.

The first thing you notice is, that your legs hurt. The second thing is, that the other side of the bed is empty.

You call out your lover's name, his actual, real name but there's no answer. Groaning, you get up, legs heavy and sore from last night, and walk out of the bedroom. You can hear water running and follow the noise.

"Babe?", you peek through the half-opened door of the bathroom. There he is - in all his glory, with no shirt on - freckles dusted over his back like stars, scars and tattoos on full display, a cigarette dangling from his mouth while he is hunched over the sink. His hair curls over his shoulders, a little damp from what you assume must have been a recent shower. The air is still a little damp, despite the opened window. You can hear water splashing.

"Mornin'", Tangerine says, puffs out a cloud of smoke.

"No smoking indoors", you sigh, suppressing a yawn and he chuckles at that, deep in his throat.

"'M sorry, love, won't happen again."

"We both know it will", your hands brush over his shoulders and then you lean against him. You inhale his scent, feel his warmth against your palms. The muscles in his back and shoulder are working, flexing beneath the skin and you close your eyes, feeling the way his body works beneath you. He is oddly alive like this and you hope that he'll be home for a long time, won't leave again soon.

"Why are you up already?", you mumble against his firm back.

"Wanted to wash the stains out", and he sounds so, so annoyed by it, "But it's no use - it's either gonna be the dry-cleaner's or the bin, innit?"

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 5

why does this episode make me feel like i'm missing something?

alright, here we go. logan's landed on something here. he's really good at finding something that'll annoy alex, no matter how many times he does it (with the utmost affection from both sides, ofc). but now he's found one particular bit that alex will literally always laugh at. and my favorite part is the williams camera crew genuinely seem to not know. they don't do it in here but as soon as he starts doing the "And The Winner Will Get The Chance" game show host act there's literally scenes where they do like a super-zoom on his face, because he's finally playing to the camera. he's playing by the rules, but he's not doing it for the show– he's doing it because alex will laugh even if he doesn't mean to. which he does, right here. it's like their own little inside joke, something that they can do right in front of the crew and pretend like it's an "everybody" thing when it's not. it's just a them thing. and alex laughs like he can't help it, like it's an instinct he's lived with and won't bother questioning, he's literally leaning his head towards logan as soon as logan starts The Bit and then his far-off expression turns into that helpless try-not-to-laugh smile. and they literally cut him off there. but i wish they hadn't because i love this intro so much– not just because of this new dynamic but because of how they look with each other. alex is fidgety and playful and distractable as always, but it's not because he's bored. he's just genuinely excited to play and can't sit still or make himself focus. and logan isn't teasing him or trying to draw him back to reality or make him participate or force him in anyway; but isn't quite ignoring him either. he's leaning back towards alex, half-turned in like he's trying to play to both the camera and alex even though alex is a million miles away. he's letting alex be in his own hyperactive little world like, "it's okay, i've got the intro, you do your thing" but "wait this is your favorite part" and then he leans back in waayyyy closer and when alex hears the change in his tone of voice he finally looks up and logan calls it "The Williams Racing Wheel" full government name and alex just– yeah every time

okay but can we talk about just how... comfortable they are with each other? it's like the collage episode but also not like that. because yeah they're both super focused on getting the ball in the basket (and then finding the balls when they go all over the deck). and it's a little chaotic so they're not quite as smoothly coordinated (logan has a moment of blatantly considering stealing the ball from alex's hands before he thinks better of it). but they're not just focusing, it's not just logan honed in on getting a task done. they're playing. alex is laughing, making comments, there's a short period where he stops for a bit and then logan steps in listing how many baskets he has and they have these out-of-breath half-exchanges with each other throughout the game... but also logan is SO much more expressive than he usually is. not like last ep when he was in some specific lovestruck mood where his nerves were showing on his face; he's just showing normal expressions for this normal situation. it's not just deadpan dead-eyed focus, he's laughing a little, frowning a little, just generally moving more. he's more in touch with the world around him and the people around him. you'd think this ep and last ep were shot weeks or months apart because it looks so much like alex has been rubbing off on him, even in the way he stands... they're not just silently doing an activity together they're in tune. there's a desire to connect, to stay talking, to narrate the events the other can clearly see for themselves because this is what makes it fun when they're together

nothing much. just alex panicking about the stupid plastic hoop and saying in the most unmanly high-pitched voice ever "put the basket down!!!" even though he's the one closest to the basket, and then he turns and nearly runs straight into logan and logan is just muscle car boyfriend era "i got you babe" with that hand on the side to run forward and shove down the fucking basket while smiling and licking his lips and yeah sure NOTHING MUCH THO

but of course logan can't be too nice about it it's like he's just been reminded that alex exists and now he has to go block his shot from the net and then when he jogs back he's not even looking at alex he's looking down but ends up so close anyway that he's like "i'm just gonna block this one too" (not really) and then they're both laughing. like stupid out of breath going back to the game immediately after but still laughing. and yeah they're not touching because they're focusing on the game but they're not being mindful of each other's space not because they don't notice but because they don't care. it's fun and it's carefree and suddenly they know how to be fun and carefree with each other like it's been their dynamic this whole time i feel like we've skipped years

Alex: [makes a pretty outrageous shot, it goes out of the camera frame]

Logan, o/s: "That's in!"

[the ball goes in]

Alex: "OOHHHH!"

my absolute favorite part of this is alex's disbelief. like, he has this sort of naivety and innocence about him that is impossible to believe, because you can't be that successful as a racing driver and be innocent. but he seems so surprised by so many things. when he laughs at something it's like he's hearing it for the first time. and he has this almost childlike joy and exuberance that he slips into so easily, just give him literally any vaguely competitive task and he's over the moon. and i think it's exaggerated in logan's presence, consciously or unconsciously, because logan's such the opposite of that. but even just having alex nearby is good for logan, it's like carrying a little bit of the sun around in his pocket. and that's just alex without even trying. not like oscar and the shoey in silverstone, sweet and empathetic and Aware of a Bigger Picture. alex just is a comforting person as he is and he brings out this silly side of logan that's such a blessing to see

this is what i mean about missing something. because on the surface, this is a pretty familiar scene– an activity wrap up with one of them (usually alex) not focused at all while the other carries the whole script. but it's different. and none of it's spoken (it usually isn't with these two) so it's gonna take me a bit to break down the body language BUT. logan's mannerisms are so much more like alex's now. he talks with his hands, looks back and forth between alex and the camera and the ipad, he shifts as he stands; all in all he's just way more dynamic. even as he's delivering the dryest part of the video. and alex has got most of his excess energy out through the game but not quite all, making himself stay still is a visible effort. but logan is leaning into him, tilting his body, holding out the ipad at the right angle so alex can see it even when alex isn't looking. and even with the hand gestures it's like he's gently but assuredly bringing alex back to the present, trying to ground him. and alex is huddled up next to logan making himself focus and he's still hyper enough that for awhile the only thing he says is just to confirm what logan's saying. logan's describing the wheel and the prizes and alex is just going "yes. yep. yep." like he's pretending he knows what's going on but really he's just following logan's voice, because logan is keeping them both going through the activity while giving alex a space to be scattered and distracted. it's not "you have to focus on me right now" it's "i'm here when you're ready to focus". and alex is literally leaning closer and closer to him as they talk even when he forgets to look at the ipad because logan is keeping him tethered to the flow of this whole video. even alex just giddily saying "ooh strong spin" and logan responding "big spin :)" and alex just echoing him "big spin :D". it's so mundane and so sweet and so i'm going to let you be excited and i'm going to take care of this and alex is so effortlessly comfortable in his own skin and logan is comfortable taking the guiding role for once and they both settle into these roles so comfortably and seamlessly it's like that's how it's always been. it's like i've missed something!!

so much of what happens between them seems to happen in their own little world. completely in their own world, not like charlos who don't always say it out loud but whose feelings are always plainly decipherable from their facial expressions. if you're not looking you will definitely miss it. because the way they connect doesn't make sense, it's unexpected, and from a logistic point of view it should never work but the connection they have just goes beyond words, beyond verbal communication. they just fit each other and it's accepting and it's welcome and it's going to be torn away and fuck

episode 6

[softspeirs]

These Heartbeats Clear (1): Rosie Rosenthal x OC

A/N: Rosie/OC… literally couldn’t resist. I was torn between this OC and a Red Cross OC from the flak house, but I think I wanted someone who would see him during all the hard parts, not just for a week when he’s Suffering. Spoilers for eps 5 and 6 of MoTA. These Heartbeats Clear Masterlist

one - adjustment period.

Grace watches warily as the crew approaches on the jeep - she’s not sure what she expected… for them to be jubilant and laughing, looking refreshed and ready for action? Nervous, scared, resigned… some combination of the two?

Her eyes land on Rosie, as they’re prone to do. He seems calm. That’s not a surprise, but the glimpse of something — fear? hesitation? — in his eyes is.

Helen, standing on her left, shifts her weight, her posture the picture of worry and sadness.

“Try to pull yourself upright,” Grace says quietly.

"I'm trying--" Helen says, her voice dull. To her credit, she flashes a smile as the guys get closer, her frown softening.

"Ladies," Rosie says, fingers on the brim of his hat. "What's the welcome wagon for?"

"Coffee." Helen says, "Just brewed."

He smiles thankfully at her, but his eyes go back to Grace's. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, Lieutenant Fleming--"

"Bearer of semi-bad news, I'm afraid." Grace says, ignoring the way her heart picks up a little at his half smile. She rushes to finish before she can see his face transform - he can't afford any more bad news. "Doc wants to see everyone, just a quick chat. After that there's food in the mess."

He nods. "What's one more doctor?" He mutters. She suspects she wasn't supposed to hear that. Then, louder, "You heard her, gents. Doctor's orders."

They grumble a little, but head into the infirmary behind Grace and Helen, taking a cup of coffee each as they go. Helen follows behind, empty tray tucked under her arm. She looks back at Grace, but Rosie is lingering behind, twisting the brim of his cap in his hands, and Grace can't bring herself to leave him out here alone.

She waves Helen on, telling her she'll catch up in a minute.

“Captain?”

He starts, like he forgot she was there. He also looks like he’s forgotten about his promotion. And that’s the thing with flying — a promotion isn’t always wanted. Deserved, certainly. But it often comes at the expense of other pilots, and it’s always a tough pill to swallow. “How’s it been? How’s— everyone?” He asks her. His face is so earnest. It makes her throat tight.

“As well as we can be, Captain. Most of the replacements are here.” She hesitates before continuing. She’s been here right along, with the Red Cross girls and the doctor and the other nurses. But just because she’s been here as long as everyone else doesn’t mean she understands what the flight crews have gone through. “How was your week off?”

“Too long.” He says, no hesitation. His smile is small, wry, a barely-there upturn of his lips. “I wanted to get back.”

“And you’re alright?” The question comes out almost without her permission. They don’t even know each other that well - she’s patched up a few of his scrapes and bruises and they’ve made idle conversation as he checked on some of his crew that ended up in the infirmary, but this is bordering on too casual.

But she’d argued with him, the day before he went on leave. She’d been too casual then, too, and so had he, both of them lost in the emotions of the Munster mission.

It feels a little awkward now, but she does her best to press on.

She can’t help but worry about him. She admires him, at the heart of it. The way he kept his men together through it all, the way he always has a kind word and a joke for anyone who needs it.

She just hopes he’d say so if he’s the one who needs it, this time.

“I’m as good as I can be, Lieutenant.” He replies.

“Grace.” She reminds him softly. “It’s— you don’t have to call me Lieutenant.”

“Grace, then.” He echos. “I’m okay. Have to be. For them.”

“I hope—“ she pauses, looking down at her shoes. “Forgive me sir, but I hope you know that we’re all here for you. What you went through—“

“I know.” He interrupts her, not unkindly. “You think we haven’t seen the way you’ve been there for us? Even when you thought we didn’t notice?” He shakes his head. “You write our letters when our hands shake, and get us extra blankets, and tell us it’s going to be okay when it’s—“ He stops himself, shaking his head.

When his eyes meet hers, they’re so soft she can barely stand it. This is dangerous, what this conversation is turning into, but she’s also relieved to hear that what she’s been doing besides being a nurse and keeping them alive has made a difference.

“I appreciate it more than I can put into words, Grace.” His voice is rough.

There’s a long moment of prolonged eye contact. Her senses are screaming, danger, danger! But no matter how hard she tries, she can’t look away.

“You just keep yourself and those boys alive, Captain.” She says, her voice thick. “For the rest of us.”

He salutes, a jaunty thing that lightens the mood. “Yes ma’am.”

She laughs, and he grins at her in response. “Go on, you have to meet with the Doctor too. Just standard procedure.”

He hums. “Heard a lot of that the last week.” He takes a few steps away and then stops, “Grace?” His face is suddenly boyish, shy. “You’d better call me Rosie. Or at least by my first name.”

It feels right — she’s given up calling anyone else by their rank anymore. They’ve been through too much for that. The new guys will be an adjustment - she’s not sure she can manage getting attached to any of them. Because it’s inevitable, what happens after.

But the line has already been crossed with this man, looking at her in the fading sunlight.

“You got it, Rosie.”

His answering smile stays with her until the next day, long after the roar of B-17s fades into the distance.

[kpopsexstories]

Kissing Booth Ep. 7 – Chenle and Jisung share a girl

‘Kissing Booth’ is a fictional podcast hosted by boyfriends Chenle and Jisung. In it they discuss love, sex and relationships. This Kissing Booth Tumblr series is excerpts from the couple's most sexual conversations on the show.

EPISODE 7: SO "SOO"

Jisung: Do you remember Soo?

Chenle: How could I forget her?

Jisung: Lea wasn't the only girl in our lives. Soo was our makeup artist.

Chenle: She was so much more than that.

Jisung: Yeah, she was our friend. I wonder where she is now and what she's doing…?

Chenle: Yeah, she left the company so suddenly.

Jisung: Way too sudden. God, I miss her.

Chenle: Shut up!

Jisung: *Smirks* Why, jealous?

Chenle: Noo, why should I be? I fucked her too remember?

Jisung: She was sooo good though.

Chenle: Hah, “Soo” good. But hey, shut up! She was never as good as me.

Jisung: Sorry babe, I just can't help but tease you.

Chenle: But yeah, she really was good.

Jisung: Better than…?

Chenle: Fuck you, I made Lea come many times, okay?

Jisung: Sure you did babe. Whatever you say.

Chenle: I did! Did you ever make Soo come?

Jisung: Ehm… Well, fine, we both suck.

Chenle: Nah, you don't suck babe. You're great!

Jisung: *Smirks* I suck.

Chenle: Not like that! You know what I mean.

Jisung: I know babe, I'm just teasing you.

Chenle: What about Soo? Are you suggesting we tell them about our threesome?

Jisung: That's exactly what I'm suggesting.

Chenle: You think they can handle that?

Jisung: Last week we got a question about the amount of sperm I produce when I come. The week before that we talked about your poop cleaning routine before we have sex. I'm pretty sure they can handle a threesome.

Chenle: Our dreamies are nuts!

Jisung: They are. But that's why we love them so much.

Chenle: Yeah. Alright. Go on, tell them about Soo.

Jisung: So, Soo was one of our makeup artists for a few years. She was great.

Chenle: Great in bed.

Jisung: I meant great at her job. She was a professional.

Chenle: I bet SM wouldn't agree.

Jisung: Well, she already quit, we can tell this story. What are they gonna do, fire her?

Chenle: You're right, I'm sure she won't mind.

Jisung: You wanna tell it or should I?

Chenle: Go for it.

Jisung: So, Soo was working for SM. Chenle and I were already together. Occasionally, the staff had these parties and we sometimes joined them. We already knew Soo well, she did our faces all the time.

Chenle: Hehe, we knew Soo “soo” well.

Jisung: You're not even funny.

Chenle: That's quite an intimate experience though. Doing someone else's makeup.

Jisung: Yeah. I know several of the 127 guys had sex with their makeup team.

Chenle: Jungwoo. And Jeno. And Mark and Haechan. I mean, we spend so much time together with our makeup girls, it's probably inevitable that there will be sex.

Jisung: Have you ever…?

Chenle: No! I have you babe.

Jisung: You didn't always.

Chenle: No, but we were kids back then. No, I have never had sex with anyone from the staff. Have you?

Jisung: No. Never. Except of course…

Chenle: Soo.

Jisung: Yeah. Wanna continue the story for the listeners?

Chenle: At one of those parties, Ji and I were making out on a couch. Soo came to join us. We joked that we should experiment together.

Jisung: It was just a joke. Neither of us actually expected or even wanted it.

Chenle: But the idea was kind of exciting.

Jisung: And Soo was kind of into it.

Chenle: So were you…

Jisung: And you…

Chenle: Anyway, long story short, we were drunk and she ended up going home with us. We were all close friends at the time so it wasn't that weird.

Jisung: We had just moved into our new accommodation.

Chenle: Yeah, we finally all had our own rooms. Jisung and I shared a bed though.

Jisung: I still can't believe the company was okay with that.

Chenle: Well, they want to keep us happy. I can't believe they're okay with this show. But if they had separated us back then when we were finally officially dating that wouldn't have been good.

Jisung: No. I'm glad they've always been so supportive of our personal lives.

Chenle: Yeah.

Jisung: I'm not sure they'd approve of this though…

Chenle: No, if Soo hadn't already left the company we wouldn't tell this story. But go on, tell the people what happened.

Jisung: So Soo went home with us, but we hadn't quite thought it through. Chenle and I went to bed, and we invited her to join us. She had no where else to sleep.

Chenle: Plus, we had joked about a threesome already.

Jisung: Yeah. I think we all secretly wanted it.

Chenle: It wasn't even that secret.

Jisung: No. But I remember that in the room, we weren't quite sure what to do. We all undressed as if we were just going to sleep.

Chenle: We were so drunk!

Jisung: And you were so horny. We started making out.

Chenle: And Soo was right next to us. I think we felt bad for her.

Jisung: No, we wanted her to join. And she wanted to join us.

Chenle: She had a crush on you.

Jisung: What? No she didn't.

Chenle: Yes she did! Johnny told me. She talked about you to the 127 team.

Jisung: No way! I had no idea.

Chenle: It's true. I think you were the reason she came home with us. And I can't blame her.

Jisung: Yet, it wasn't me she made a move on.

Chenle: I know we've talked about it before, but I still can't believe you let us do that.

Jisung: I wanted you to. We all wanted it. It was a mutual thing, and it was purely sexual. You know I only love you babe.

Chenle: I know. But man am I glad you let me explore.

Jisung: I got to explore too. It was so hot!

Chenle: We said long story short… we all ended up naked and Jisung watched and jerked off while Soo and I had sex. Then we swapped.

Jisung: Only because you failed to satisfy her. Like you failed to satisfy Lea.

Chenle: Shut up! I'm gay, okay? I have no desire to satisfy women.

Jisung: That's such a lie! How come then you always end up in bed with women?

Chenle: I do not! I have you. Lea was my best friend. Soo was a special case that involved both of us.

Jisung: You're bi, just admit it.

Chenle: I never said I... Oh, I guess I did. But the only person I want is you.

Jisung: Naaw, you're so sweet.

Chenle: You're not gonna skip the best part though.

Jisung: The best part?

Chenle: Yeah. You had sex with her too.

Jisung: Oh. Right. But I'm 100% gay. It was purely sexual.

Chenle: If you wanna have sex with girls, then how can you be 100% gay?

Jisung: I don't. But I had just seen you naked on top of her. Fuck that turned me on! When you came in her and she wasn't done, I took one for the team.

Chenle: You did not! You loved it.

Jisung: I mean, another human being pleasured my dick. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed that. But not because I was into her specifically and cetertainly not because she was a girl.

Chenle: You were all over her. You touched her boobs, kissed her neck. You fucked her like you'd wanted her for along time.

Jisung: But I always knew you were right there watching me. That's what turned me on. I wanted to make you come again.

Chenle: And you did. Holy shit it was so hot watching you guys!

Jisung: You were like hovering over us.

Chenle: Yeah, I was hard again so fast. I was rubbing your butt.

Jisung: I think that's why I kept going. I love the way you touch me.

Chenle: I love to touch you.

Jisung: And then you squirted on me. I remember because it was actually the first time you came on my back. I knew what you were doing behind me, but I was still surprised when I felt your load spraying me.

Chenle: Ohh, fuck, just the thought of you laying there, humping Soo, the way your ass cheeks moved. I love feeling your ass when it's tense.

Jisung: I prefer feeling your mushy cheeks.

Chenle: And then you came too. You pulled out and came on Soo. She was laughing about it.

Jisung: I still can't believe you came inside her. We're lucky we didn't get her pregnant.

Chenle: Yeah, that would have been a disaster.

Jisung: Wait. How long was this before she left…?

Chenle: I don't know, a few months maybe. Wait... You don't think…

Jisung: Naah, she would have told us.

Chenle: Why did she leave? Did she ever say?

Jisung: No, she didn't.

Chenle: Shit!

Jisung: What?

Chenle: Did we get her fired? Because she slept with us? I know they're not allowed to.

Jisung: Nooo. Well… shit. Did we?

Chenle: Nah, she told me about her new job when she got it. I'm pretty sure she applied for it anyway…

Jisung: Yeah… Sure… Yes, I'm sure she did.

Chenle: …

Jisung: …

Chenle: Fuck.

Jisung: We gotta call her tonight.

Chenle: I'm sure it's not our fault. And I'm sure she didn't get pregnant.

Jisung: Imagine that, you as a baby daddy. We gotta make sure though.

Chenle: Yeah, right, let's call her tonight.

Jisung: Still got her number?

Chenle: No, do you?

Jisung: …

Chenle: Fuck. Oh my god we ruined her life!

Jisung: I'm sure she's fine.

Chenle: If not, I've got a hard dick right here to make her feel better.

Jisung: That's not funny.

Chenle: Sorry. I'm “Soo” sorry.

[truefant4sy]

EP 1: "you really know how to make me cry when you give me those ocean eyes" | the first episode of Sweet & Salty

the first episode to my new series 'sweet & salty' Centered around the Hulu show 'The bear.'

warnings: kinda fluff, a smidge of angst, a lot of nostalgia,kissing,almost smut

"shittt okay vee so either we go stupid and get 4lokos or we get some nasty ass bear and just chug that" i looked at my best friend awaiting her answer "um..be stupid and grab them damn 4lokos" vee laughed showing her pink braced teeth "okay I'll go grab some chips and shit. This is finna be our best movie night yet" i clapped my hands together and grabbed about 4 4lokos out of the cold liquor store freezer i look around the store for a minute then walked up to the counter "uh my friend is getting everything else can i just sit those here?" i asked the bored counter clerk he simply nodded and continued looking at the erotic magazine. 'Fucking cunt' i thought before walking over to the candy isle as i looked around i could feel a presence looming over me like the feeling you get when you teacher is standing over you during a test "damn can you mo-" i turned around and stopped my sentence "my bad..Jojo?" i eternally cringed at the high school nickname "hi carmen" i nodded trying to shake the awkwardness off "eh..how are you?" he asked me shifting from on foot on to the other "good. I uh went to New York and got my degree" i told him.

It was always easy to tell him everything "yeah? i went to New York last year" he smiled "yeah? i heard through the grapevine that you got yourself a restaurant" he rubbed at his face and nodded "i do" he said in a monotone voice. i wanted to bring up Mikey but i just decided against it "can i ask you something Jojo?" he looked at me waiting for me to say something "did you really get the uh..tattoo removed..like you said you would?" he asked me.

I said two years ago when i left for New York and said that i was gonna get the tattoo i got of his name removed and i did not do it whatsoever.

"no I didn't actually" I turned to the right and moved my hair to show him the small letter that began at the back of my ear and ended and the bottom of my neck "well that's good..You got something planned tonight?" he asked me before waving his hands "not that like I wanna come over or something like that" I laughed only laughed at him trying to explain it "yeah me and vee are having a sleep over slash movie night I guess since I'm back" I told him trying not to be so awkward "that sounds fun..I'm sorry I didn't call you- or try to" he looked down at the ground "it's fine Carmen I should have cut you off like that" he chuckled "it's fine i mean at least I'm still Carmel to you" he shrugged dramatically "yes you are" i smiled "uh..can I have your number?..to stay in contact of course" he asked before looking away once our eyes locked "yeah can i see your phone" i twisted my necklace 'stop doing that' i dropped my necklace.

he handed me his phone for me to type my number in I called my number to make sure it rung and it did "I'll save your number now" I told him as I pulled out my phone "you still have that photo?" he shook his head and smiled, I looked at my case and saw the collection of high school Polaroids I kept one of us doing nothing but just looking at each other "yeah I don't throw away shit" I said before saving his number "josie did you-" vee stopped in her tracks and sighed "well hi Carmel macchiato" she shook her head and laughed before giving him a quick side hug "hey vee" he said simply "still got your braces I see" he said sarcastically "shut up I'm getting them off next week dude" she rolled her green eyes "I'm just fucking with you" he said patting her shoulder "I know carm" she laughed "well hurry and grabbed some shit josie I wanna go watch that movie" she sighed and walked over to the counter.

"alright" I nodded "you should the nerd's ropes" carmen stated "yeah? okay then" I grabbed the nerd's ropes and looked at them they did seem good "and um get chocolate too because too much fruit flavored candy makes you-" I interrupted him "throw up? I know carmen" I laughed and grabbed some twixs and snickers "alright well I'll call you tonight if that's okay?" he asked me running a hand thru his wild curly hair "yeah of course" he nodded and walked to the back of the store to grab a drink "bye Jojo" he looked at him from over his should "bye carm"

My fucking stomach hurts and I now remember every reason why I don't fucking drink 4lokos anymore because my god.

Vee was in the bathroom throwing up everything she ate and drunk today, and I sat there trying not fucking cry from how much my stomach was killing me "Vierra? Vee?" I called to her trying to see if she was okay thru my own pain "yes" she said weakly "I stood up and walked over to the bathroom to see her resting her blonde head on the side on my tub "I have clothes just shower and ill uh..door dash or something" I said still clenching at my stomach "no..I don't want door dash" she replied drunkly "I want you to get your boyfriend carmen over here so he can cook" she burped "carmen isn't and wasn't my boyfriend Vierra" I shook my head at what she had said.

He was my best friend "Fuck you. Just get that man over here because I'm fucking hungry Josephine" I nodded and walked over to my dresser to grab her some clothes "okay ill call him just please shower" I helped her get up and get undressed before I ran her a bath making sure to some of those calming bath salts that I bought last week.

After I got her into the bath I stepped out at plopped down on my bed before grabbing the painkillers in my night stand and popping two of them into my mouth and chasing it with a water 'call carmen' I groaned and listened to my head before picking up my phone at first my thumb just hovered over his name in my phone "fuck it" I pressed the button and waited for him to pick him which wasn't a long wait "Josephine?" his voice was deep and soft "I'm sorry were you uh sleeping?" I asked him knowing the answer considering that it was 12:52 "kinda. Whatcha need?" he asked me and I kind of hesitated "um could you come over and make something to eat for me and vee, she specifically asked for to cook" I told him my leg bouncing with anxiety "yeah. I can" he said groaning "okay. I'll send you, my address."

It wasn't long before he was knocking at the door of my apartment I got up from the bed and opened the door "hi josie" he looked so tired 'and so fine' I shook my head at stepped aside to let him in "I'm sorry to wa-" I tried to apologize but he interrupted me "it's fine. I rather it be you anyways" he groaned and ran his hand thru his hair again "what does she want to eat?" he asked me while he looked around my kitchen pulling out pots and pans "chicken alfredo" I leaned against the island in my kitchen he nodded "josie? is your boyfriend here?" a drunk Vierra called out of my bedroom "vee yes he's here and he's not boyfriend" I sighed and carmen only scratched his head I took a seat in the barstool at my island and just watched him.

"you just gonna stare or are you gonna tell me about New York?" he was going back in forth from my fridge to the stove to the cabinet cooking away "well if you don't mind I'm gonna do both" I giggled 'like a damn school girl' I shook my head "well uh in New York I ate a shit ton of food and the people aren't that bad" I scratched my head "yeah? what all did you eat?" he asked me as he added a stick of butter to a pan "everything. Like I basically ate at every fucking restaurant I could find" I laughed "still got a huge ass appetite I see" he shook he head and turned around to give me a quick smile 'that was cute' "yes that was" "hm?" he looked at me "I said yes I do. I'm a hungry whore..like the game hungry hippo but sluttier" he shook his head and put his hands on his hips "gotta be nicer to yourself" I rolled my eyes at his words "Josephine."

I threw my hands up " okay I'm gonna be nicer to myself carmen" I stuck my tongue out at him "now. Where's your pasta?" he asked me still stirring and picking stuff in a skillet "in the last cabinet to the left he opened the cabinet and looked at me "only 3 packs josie? I should be ashamed" when he said that I remembered Michael saying the same thing 2 years back before I left for New York "uh carmen...I'm really sorry about Mikey" I sighed "it's fine."

he said quickly and bluntly "is the food done yet?" Vierra shouted from my room "no vee not yet" carmen shouted back "can you pull out some plates Jojo?" he asked me still focused on the stove and making sure the pasta didn't over boil "..yes chef" I stood up from the stool and made my way over to the dishwasher were I pulled out a few heart shaped plates "that's cute" he said looking at the plates "I know right?" I replied back "oh uh..could I see your room...? because I uh remembered how narly your bedroom was when we were kids so I just thought it would y'know still be uh..cool" he ran his hand through his hair "yeah. It's still narly probably even more narly because I got my own money to puy any decoration I want" he laughed "yeah your apartment is cute" stirred the pot again as he complimented me "aw your sweet carmy that's why I call you Carmel" he laughed.

Finally the food was done and Vierra ate that shit down "this is why we love carmen right josie?" she wiped her mouth after eating her 3 plate "mhm" I only nodded my head to what she said "bye" vee got up from her seat at my island and went back into my room "well at least she's happy" carmen joked as I stood up to put the dishes in the sink "do you uh..want me to go or?" he asked me at he rested his chin the palm of his hand "no. I mean you should stay" he nodded.

We sat in silence for a bit, "you know what? last week when I had gone to that same liquor store guess who I saw" carmen looked at me "uh who?" I asked "Claire" I rolled my eyes at his answer "you know I don't her." I rolled my eyes again "can I ask why?" he tilted his head in a boyish manner "yes because she was a fucking bully, so I punched in her stupid fucking face. Shes still one of those manic pixie dream girls" he nodded "that was funny" he laughed.

"wanna go sit on the couch?" I asked him as I stood up stretching my body 'those stools hurt.' carmen nodded and walked behind her they both plopped down on the couch and just sat there again in silence to take in each other's presence "legs?" carmen looked at me "legs." I nodded and put my legs in his lap like how we did when we were just high school students, we always said it like that "I really fucking missed you carmy" she admitted to him he only nodded his head in agreement "why did we even stop talking?" carmen asked his eyes staring holes through me "you blew up at me the week before I was supposed to leave for New York..so I just thought that the end" I admitted to him 'why the fuck am I telling him everything' "I didn't mean to. I was just-" he gave up on his sentenced and just sighed "it's fine. We're over that now, right?" I asked him softly putting a comforting hand on his should "right." he nodded.

"My mom asked about you." I told him as I traced little shapes onto his skin "she did? what did she say?" he asked his head back on the couch, his eyes closed in a relaxed manner "Just the usual like 'what happened to carmen?' and 'where's carmen?' " I told him giggling at my mom's nosiness he laughed, as he laughed, I just stared at him.

I kind of forgot how..pretty he was in a weird way, like he was pretty but in a manly sense and handsome in a chaotic way his hair crazy his eyes stared holes through my soul when he would look at me his random tattoos the littered his skin his chaotic-ness never failed to calm me at the worst moments even when he made me cry I could never blame him.

"weird question." i said he opened one eye and looked at me "yeah?" he waited for me to ask "can i uh..kiss you? sorry if thats weird" i blurted out quietly making sure I didn't wake up vierra "no its not weird. And uh yeah" his head lifted from the couch as my hand held his cheek his eyes closed for a second as if he was embracing the feeling of my skin on his all over again I leaned in our foreheads just touching the tips of our noses brushing against each other with each breath, his nose and skin were always cold 'just kiss' I listened to the small voice in my head and kissed him and the feeling was intensified by a thousand.

I never knew it was possible to miss a person this much as I missed how his lips felt on mine. When we were in high school we only ever kissed once as a joke but this time was, weirdly real and love filled I guess I just knew I did want it to end My hands ran through his hair "fuck" he murmured softly into my mouth this wasn't how I planned to spend my first week back in Chicago at all but his chaotic-ness always went with my straight forward plans which was why we were such good friends in high school but instead I was the chaotic one and he was the straight forward planned one 'the roles always switch with him'.

His tongue wrapped my very own making my body quiver his hands held my back as he softly pushed me down onto my light pink sofa he didn't break the kiss as he got onto the sofa more his arms now on both sides of my head, he softly grabbed my legs and put them on his waist as a sign for me to wrap them around his waist he softly pulled away "is this okay?" he asked me his forehead still against mine I nodded he kissed me a few more times before going to my neck kissing and biting at the brown flesh making me cover my mouth so I could keep quiet 'you went 2 years without sex by the way' the same small voice reminded me in my head, he lifted my shirt up and began to kiss my stomach making my eyes flutter "god save me." I muttered under my breath as he looked up at me as if he wanted approval.

My hands grabbed at his hair his kisses got slower and lower then by bedroom door sung open "have you guys-" Vierra stopped in the door way making carmen sit up and pull my shirt down "oh uh fuck my bad" Vierra awkwardly turned around and went back into my room "well fuck." carmen groaned and rubbed his face "I should get going" he stood up and grabbed his phone and keys "alright" I stood up with him and opened the door, before he walked out he kind of just stopped "I missed you too" he said in a quiet voice "I know you did." I said sarcastically making him roll his eyes before he walked out of the door, he hugged me. Giving me the biggest bear hug ever and he smelled great "see you later Josephine" he let go of me "see you later carmy and text me when you get home okay?" he smiled and nodded and before I knew it, he was in the elevator on his was down to the lobby. I closed my door and locked it.

And there he was again, already back in my life changing the course of everything once again.

[iguessitsjustme]

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna Ep 3 & 4 Thoughts

It has been a week and an entire half. I wanted to watch this earlier this week but there was just no way that was gonna happen. Not only was my tendonitis acting up but dear god. I’ve been going through it. Anyway now I finally have time and it is time for me to resume my liveblog for this wonderful and glorious show. Let’s goooooooooooooo. As always, under the cut.

You guys will never believe it. But right as I was about to watch my mom called. So I need to pause before even starting to discuss Pit Babe with my mother who has just finished it.

Okay. I’m not done talking to my mom but my aunt called and my mom needed to take her call. I was just in the middle of my rant which I can finish later. So my liveblog will probably get interrupted again. Which means nothing to you guys reading it except for when it interrupts my commentary. But this way we both get interrupted…I digress. Let me actually start watching now. Also my finger is currently bleeding so I’m not sure how much I’m going to type because of the…ya know…blood. And I’m too lazy to go get a bandaid.

I love how cute this opening song is. It’s perfect. Adorable. Cute even.

Hey bastard. Do not EVER comment on what someone else is eating. Especially a stranger. It’s not okay with friends, it’s not okay with family, it is not okay NOW. Keep your big mouth shut and mind your business.

I fucking love her. I’m sad she drank that beer but I love that she shut him up. He was such an ass.

Awwww they’re comparing how they wrapped their gyoza but they are so sweet about it. No judgement. Just different. I love them.

Awwwwwwwwww she specifically picked up the beer. She put down her chopsticks to pick up the beer. Oh I am unwell about this.

Anyway who is gonna come visit me to have gyoza rice and beer? I like two of those three things but now I feel like I gotta try them all together. And I need someone to do it with me. Any takers? No? No one? Yeah I get it. I’m too far away from y’all aren’t I? (makes note to tell my mom to get certain ingredients for when I’m there for the 4th)

Ope and look at that my mom called back.

I just word vomited all about that Wandee Goodday episode today to her so everyone thoughts and prayers for my mother for having to deal with me and my incessant chatter. If you think I don't shut up on twitter, you will not believe what I'm like irl.

SHE LAUGHED. Did I rewind it just to watch it again? You bet your ass I did. How wonderful.

Good advice. Direct communication. Just ask.

Awwwwww she gave her food when she didn’t even know how much she needed it….I’m really gonna need to learn their names. But I am so, so bad at it. Someone help me actually.

No YOU’RE crying

Alright time for episode 4. I can only do two episodes today alas. But I am loving this show.

Me, about all of the QLs that are currently airing

Yes, yes she is.

I did not have a lot to say during episode 4. I was too busy smiling at my screen. I enjoyed it immensely. These two. I’m….fine. I’m fine. I swear.

[puckpocketed]

squeezing out the second part of the d-men podcast transcripts I started a while back. the fear of losing media compels me <3 here's part 1 if you missed it, but it's not essential to understanding what's being said here. (all episodes are available if anyone just wants to listen to them) transcript + edits done by me, all mistakes are mine.

Topics of discussion:

shorting the zone and the evolution of the game

point shots and why they suck

Lane Hutson, Zach Werenski, a few others, and how modern defensemen create and score.

Published 13th November 2024, Hockey IQ Podcast: Modern Defensemen (with Will Scouch) Ep #2 - by Hockey's Arsenal, hosted by Greg Revak (apple / spotify / youtube)

[START Transcript]

Greg Revak: Alright, welcome back to episode two here. We've got Will Scouch and myself, Greg Revak, here on the Hockey IQ Podcast. Now we're going to be talking about point play.

So last week, we talked about modern day defending; what does that kind of look like? We looked into Lane Hutson, some Rasmus Ristolainen, some other players, talking about controlling speed, getting good gap control, position before possession, et cetera.

A lot of powerful stuff there, but today we want to talk about point play. We ended last time talking about shorting the zone. So: getting down off the blue line, especially if the puck is in a corner, getting down into the zone. Instead of standing at the blue line, maybe we're at the top of the circles. [There’s] a lot of reasons we talked about why that's good for defense, gap control, et cetera. but let's start with thinking about point play.

The space from the top of the circles to the blue line up top in the zone, that, generally, is what we're going to call the ‘point’. When we're talking about defensemen or talking about point play, that's the area we're living in. With shorting the zone, we're already starting on top of the circles — [the] blue line is behind us. I love it, [shorting the zone, just from a tactical standpoint] you have so much space to go into, you can make someone chase you and you can do some shimmies.

Lane Hutson is a great example. You start low, bring the puck up, throw one fake one way, go the other. Or a little double move where now the opponent's feet are just completely messed up.

So just from an idea of saving space; I am in this space so I can go to that space, rather than starting at the blue line and now I don't have any space to go backwards — the only options I do have are laterally, left or right. And if I'm on the wall, I only really have one option, which turns into two: either I chuck a terrible point shot — and we know point shots suck — or l've got to move to the middle. You're really limiting yourself. Shorting the zone gives you a lot more space up top.

Will Scouch: Yeah, I agree. I mean, we kind of talked a little bit last episode about offense and defensemen, and I said something along the lines of, “I don't really think about point production a tremendous amount,” but it is interesting when you watch a lot of defensemen who do score a lot and how many, especially outside the NHL, [are] literally peppering the net with point shots.

And at the junior level, when you're facing goaltenders who can often have save percentages down in the .870s, .880s, some of these shots are going to go in, right? Some of them are going to be rebounds in front. That's just so much rarer in the NHL in this day and age. Rebound control is better, defensive zone control is better, positioning is better, they're stronger. It's just tougher to do that.

And so point shots — I mean, it's good to have as a weapon. If you have a defenseman who can really shoot the puck and hammer one on net from 60 feet out, cool. It's not a bad thing, but it's not a great thing to rely on. Goaltenders are getting better and better and better at seeing the puck, tracking the puck, making sure that they can stay on top of these kinds of plays. 

To me, it's more about having a defenseman who can juggle multiple options; a guy who may have a point shot to play around with, but [also] the skill and the creativity and the vision to see what's going on and make a play, rather than just going, “Alright, my job is to put it on the net from here, that's what I do.” Because you also run the risk of someone blocking that shot, it goes out into the neutral zone, maybe you're caught a little bit up the ice and you just wasted an offensive zone possession and you're chasing the puck coming your way.

There's a lot of risk that comes from that in a potentially dangerous area of the ice. I'll cherry pick a really bad example of this, but I remember at the World Juniors when Connor Bedard was there. I think it was a semifinal game or a quarterfinal game, but Connor Bedard was just carrying and carrying and carrying the puck, flying around the perimeter of the ice, and just turned and lobbed one on net from the middle of the ice right from the blue line.

[A] guy, I think it was the Czech Republic, blocked it, Bedard fell down or something, was just caught at that blue line, and they went the other way and scored a goal. And so that kind of thing is something where I always note it down and go, “Yeah, that's just not an option,” that's just not going to work in the NHL. Guys are going to know, guys are going to be able to figure it out.

So yeah, [a point shot is] something that I think is important to know that you have with your defensemen, but [it’s also] important that your defensemen know when to and when not to deploy it, if that makes sense.

GR: I also laugh because anytime you see a team practice and we work on offensive specific stuff and defensive specific stuff, it always seems like somehow the defense ends up working on point shots. It's kind of getting archaic at this point, maybe we should work on other things? That’s kind of, like, the last option.

You know, there are times [they’re appropriate] but a lot of it is at the higher levels [where] maybe we have the strength for those point shots. At the lower level half the time those pucks are barely getting to the net. There's a lot of issues there, but to your point: point shots suck, and I will continue to say that until everyone understands it.

There's increasing goal scoring in the NHL. There is a decreasing save percentage in the NHL. And all the studies I'm continuously reading and finding, the work that's being done out there, seems to point to the same thing: people are no longer settling for crappy shots. 

You may see them every once in a while, but it's more of a change of pace to the usual, to mix it up, more than, “This is our go-to strategy,” like you saw in the dead puck era or the mid 2000s.

WS: Yeah. I think the only real exception I can think of off the top of my head sitting here is the Carolina Hurricanes sometimes seem to really deploy a point shot, a more [chaotic] style of offense. But it kind of works for them in a way because they have the skill and the intensity level from their forwards to gain possession back, or cause tips or crazy plays in front, chase play into the corner.

That's just their style of play. It just seems to be the system that they're deploying, and it does lead to good results, but just saying, “Oh yeah, our defensemen will put it on net and we'll tip it, or we'll catch a rebound or something,” it doesn't generally work out in that way.

You and I, we talk a lot about Lane Hutson, and I think Lane Hutson is probably the most extreme example of the opposite. Where, yeah, once in a while, you'll see him shooting the puck from the point, but the big thing with him — and everybody, it's a meme now, people are pointing it out as a meme of, like, that shimmy shake he's got at the offensive blue line, that ability to bait and switch guys from one way to the next.

I know some people are already pointing at that and going, “What a silly thing that he's doing out there, he's looking like PK Subban!” But number one, PK Subban won a Norris Trophy. And number two, it works. Lane Hutson is a guy who can create, that's how you create space for yourself nowadays, right? You use your feet and your hands and your body in conjunction to create room, to drag pressure around.

Half the name of the game with the puck on your stick is dragging pressure around, right? Manipulating your opponent, making them put themselves in positions that they don't want to be in, and gaining pockets of space and exploiting it.

That's really the name of the game, and point shots can kind of eliminate those opportunities, so I love seeing players who think outside the box, and work off the offensive blue line, and can get a little bit creative, and have systems and support from their forwards that can step up and help them out, help them engage in the offensive zone. It just is the way the game is going, whether you like it or not.

GR: Yeah. Well, first, we'll start with the Carolina Hurricanes example. They also have a puck recovery strategy that they play with, their weak side defenseman is shorting the zone and already heading to the corner as a puck is being shot from the point. They know they're not getting the pass, so they're already playing for the rebound. Which, there's an opportunity there for the other team; if they get the blocked shot that weak side winger is going to [be a step ahead of] the weak side defenseman.

But the Canes get so many pucks back just by activating that weak side defenseman, because most of the time you're not really creating a rebound, you're creating a loose puck. So now you've got to be thinking about loose puck recoveries rather than rebounds. And [shots] from the point, it’s 22 to 24 percent of the time [they] actually create a rebound. Rebounds actually come from shots from the inner slot.

Editor’s note: he said “rebounds” here twice, which makes ZERO sense in context. I have changed it to “shots”. There are a few wonky sentences through this where I’ve reworked the syntax or added a word where they clearly misspoke within the context of the sentence, just trying to make this readable </3

WS: Oh, yeah. Scoring areas, right?

GR: Yeah. From actual scoring areas, so why are we taking so many? So get rid of [point shots] and then we’ve got to find ways to create offense from outside of there.

I did a study with Zach Werenski, he led the league, I want to say it was the 2019-2020 or 2018-2019 season. And he was the number one scoring defenseman, he had the most goals. 20 goals, two were empty netters. so he had 18 actual goals. How did he go about scoring those? If you had to guess, how many do you think were point shots?

WS: All of them. Hard flat bombs from the blue line, 120 miles an hour, easy. No. I honestly have no idea. I'd love for you to enlighten me, because I'm fascinated.

GR: So he scored [on] one point shot, which was basically he got handcuffed with a bad puck, and he was like, “Well, don't really want to turn this one over. So let's just get it in deep.” In which case this one was ‘in deep’ towards the net. Wasn't even a purposeful, “I'm just going to hammer this [one-timer] from the point.” It was literally, his defense partner went d-to-d, basically handcuffed him, and he just tossed it at the net.

WS: Nice.

GR: That was his best option at the point because he just got a suicide pass, defense-style. The other 17 were from within the house. Like, he's getting off the blue line, he's activating into the zone. He's not just standing out there.

Editor’s note: ‘the house’ is slang for the prime scoring area in front of the net, in the middle of the zone. Defenders are often taught to “protect the house”

So you've got [18] different goals which, the fascinating part is, you would think a lot of that might come from the rush before the defense gets set up, but only one of the goals came from the rush. The other 17 were in-zone. CBJ got into the offensive zone, worked it around. He was able to activate, find better spaces to get into the house and then shot and scored.

We have 11 one-time shots, six wrist shots and one backhand, those were [the] distribution. You would think it might just be like, oh, a quick point shot, like a boom one-timer, but there's a lot of wrist shots. There's even a backhand in there. He’s finding ways and finding good pre-shot movement to get himself into a better spot to score. [It was more so about] “How does he find ways to get into scoring places?” rather than having the world's best point shot.

WS: Yeah. And I think that that's — when you look at some of the best offensive-defensemen in the league nowadays — that's what that's like. I'm looking at Evolving Hockey right now, so shout out to the Evolving Hockey boys, but the leaders and individual expected goals by defensemen over the last two seasons… Werenski is number four on that list, which makes a lot of sense, but the only guys ahead of him? Rasmus Dahlin, Cale Makar and Roman Josi.

And those are all similar, all of those guys are pretty similar, to me, especially Josi and Makar. Behind them, you've got guys like John Carlson, Victor Hedman, Erik Karlsson, Evan Bouchard. I would be very curious about individual expected goals per shot on net, but regardless we don't need to get that much into detail. It also involves math that I don't want to do right now.

But a lot of those really good premier offensive defensemen are the ones who are generating those kinds of results; the guys that are getting into the offensive zone, getting their hands a little dirty and jumping in and playing like a forward.

I remember we did work a while ago. I sent you information on some of the trends that have changed in terms of scoring and why the NHL is scoring so much [more] now than it did when I was younger or when both of us were younger. And the main — the only real difference — it's not that forwards were shooting more, it's not that goaltenders were just worse, it was that defensemen were getting more involved offensively. 

Out of everything out there, the only real significant change was that there were more defensemen in the NHL who can score, right? Before, there were way more defensemen [whose] job was just not to play offense. They're just not allowed. Just cross the red line, dump it in, go for a shift; cross the red line, dump it in, go for a shift.

And now it's very different. To me it goes back to this discussion I have all the time with people where I'm just sort of going, “I want every single player on my team to be,” to use an oversimplified word, but, “good!” right? I want every single player on the ice, regardless of position, to be able to play in the offensive zone and create and be creative, and put pucks on net and generate scoring chances, and have forwards who can cover for defensemen who want to do that.

I think there's been more and more of that in the NHL just because it's good hockey. Now you're seeing a lot more defensemen who are generating a lot more of these individual chances, and Werenski is definitely a good one.

GR: It leads to winning. You definitely can't win a war by sitting in a foxhole, and you can't win a hockey game without scoring goals. If you can find ways to increase that offense, to your point, that's where all the offensive improvements that we've seen in the last decade plus have come from, is just defensemen being more than defense. They're hockey players, they're not just defense.

It's been good to see, there's been a ton of improvement. There's still a lot of detail, I think, that we can flush out within this. I was talking with Seamus Casey (NJD prospect) and I ended up writing about what we were talking about, which is some of the finer details up top.

One of the big ones is just catching within movement. Don't get the puck, then move; be having an idea of movement where you're constantly shifting. Again, offense is about movement: you're constantly shifting the angles and the positioning that the defense has to cover and respect. That's a common mistake I see, a common issue I see at the lower levels.

I was working with a junior-age player, now he's got a freshman year in college this year, [and this is] the number one thing I told him: “Every time you get a puck, you're standing flat. There's no movement. So now you're just putting yourself in a terrible spot where you're easily closed down. The same thing as a moving target versus a stationary target, which one's harder to hit? That's the idea here. So making sure we're catching within movement, even if it's just a step or two, that's a step in the right direction of where you want to go.” Just, have a little bit of movement.

It's one of the reasons I'm a big believer in Ryan Healey out of Harvard.

WS: Oh yeah.

GR: Quite the defensive depth chart to climb in the Minnesota Wild organisation, but I have good feelings about that kid.

WS: Yeah, I remember Ryan Healey. He had some fun moments. And yeah, that's definitely a good example of a player who brings that brand. It’s something that I am always looking for, It's something that you're always trying to get.

At the youth level, it can be hit or miss. I think that there's a lot of — and again, I'm in Canada — and I still think there's a lot of differences between programs in the CHL. How they kind of coached defensemen to be this way, or how they try to bring them along in order to play this brand of play that I think is more and more important into the future.

I mean, there are definitely Canadians who are among some of the most creative and intelligent and skilled offensive defensemen in the world. Cale Makar is a great example of that. But it is, I think, still something that is being explored and figured out and I think there is a perfectly legitimate discussion to be had about the balancing act of all of these things and how you coach your players to recognise opportunities and how to exploit those opportunities.

Like we've said many times in this series, it's a rabbit hole. You can go down deep and these kinds of things can be a long-term process. You take time, work through the good and the bad with the players.’

I don't know, at the end of the day I just love when hockey is creative, skilled, exciting. To me, in the offensive zone especially, I think there's a lot of room for defensemen to be that way. It's changing for the better, in my opinion.

I was just looking in terms of the number of expected goals out of defensemen. I believe there were 10 — ten years ago, there were 10 defensemen with 10 expected goals or more. Last season there were 30, and that's at 5-on-5. There's just a lot more of this going on, and I think we're all better for it. Everybody loves goals, right?

Yeah, everybody loves fights, but fans also get out of their seats when there are goals, and it's always exciting. I love a game where, when you're down 3-1 you have a better chance of coming back because you're really good at scoring goals. That's just what I love.

GR: Yeah, so the other detail I'm thinking about as we're going through this is just positioning, right? We've talked about positioning and just [like] anything in life, positioning makes your life easier. If you position yourself — anything, X, Y, and Z — better, you're playing life, or the game, on a much easier mode. 

For point play here, we want to have some movement, but whether that be into the puck or away from the puck, I'm always talking about positioning and where we are relative to the blue line and relative to the boards. If we can get inside the zone — so getting some depth, like shorting the zone — great.

The other piece is just; from East and West across the rink, making sure that we're getting pucks within the dots. We can take the puck outside if we want to, but we don't want to start there, particularly from the weak side defensemen.

So, one, you can skate towards your partner, catch the puck as it's coming to you and be inside the dots, which is fantastic. Or, if that's maybe not a good option, that space is closed off, making sure that you're giving yourself to the outside. Take a step into the dots or even further in, not just on the dots, but slightly in so now you catch that puck and you can actually fan out

A lot of weak side wingers struggle to get in that shot lane, so even if you want a point shot or you see a passing lane, it's going to open that space towards the net in general. So, just making sure that you're giving yourself good positioning to start your puck touch, you can decide, “Do I want to go inside, do I want to go outside?” and having those options available.

The most common mistake I see is players start in wide open spaces, and they feel so comfortable, “Oh, I've got all this time and space because I'm in space!” Rather than what's better, which is actually putting yourself closer to your opponents where you have, quote unquote, less time and space — but really, you have now opened up space that you can potentially use.

It's not comfortable maybe immediately, but it will become comfortable as the puck touch evolves, rather than the opposite, which I see a ton, which is players start in open space, they feel comfortable like, “Oh, I've got more time and space because I'm physically further apart,” but then their options are so limited.

WS: Right. It's a game. Hockey a lot of the time is a game of creating space. It's a game of finding ways to get out of situations like that. I think that if you are in motion, quick little chips, quick little puck touches can do that for you. Obviously, you want to make yourself a pass target, but little tricks on pass receptions are probably just as important as what goes into that in the first place.

It's something that I still feel like I might be a little bit behind on in that world, listening to you talk about it. It's something that I haven't fully considered exactly, but I totally see where you're coming from, because, yeah, it is a thing where, just because you have space and you're waiting for a puck in that area, doesn't always mean you're going to have it when that puck hits your stick. It doesn't always mean you're going to have it the whole time when you want to have it.

Being able to problem solve and figure out how to create opportunity for yourself whether or not you’re under pressure, it's such a great thing to build on. And again, it goes back to what we talked about last week a lot of the time, with that footwork, the ability to pivot, make quick changes in where you're oriented and where you're headed on the ice. So even those defensive skills that are out there, it also is quite important in the offensive zone as well.

GR: All right. I think, point play, we've opened up a Pandora's box for people to explore, so we should probably end here and we'll head back next week talking about defending the rush.

[END Transcript]

[xerith-42]

yo yo could i perhaps have a crumb of your rewritten storyline for s2 ep 95? luv ur stuff

I always love people describing art in a fandom as crumbs. Makes me think I'm sitting on a park bench throwing out crumbs and bird feed to the local crows but instead of food I'm just tossing out pieces of paper with my inane ramblings about block people on them.

This is a segment of my rewrite of Season 2 Episode 95, titled Fool of a Muse. Said rewrite is the one with my oc Haven in it, so she's there because she's one of Laurance's emotional pillars, and I change Aph's name to Irena because I like fucking with her. I actually re-rewrote this scene a few weeks back to include some of the original dialogue to prove that aspects of the scene could work given the right context.

Fool of a Muse

Laurance tried to keep his head straight, but it simply wasn’t possible. Not there. Not while hearing her speak of secrets of the deceased. The voices of the calling were always louder when reminded of death, and staying in a tomb was practically asking them to start acting up. He left in order to get some space to clear his head, walking towards the beaches, hoping the ocean waves would drown out the sound.

Instead he found the opposite of what he wanted. Standing on the sands was Irena, a hand over her stomach, who turned at the sound of Laurance approaching. Clutched in her other hand was Aaron’s bandanna. The voices only got louder at the reminder and the sight of their target.

“Laurance? Is everything alright?” She asked softly. Laurance stepped back, which only worsened her concern.

“I-I’m fine,” He lied. Irena simply laughed, turning around to admire the sunset again.

“You don’t have to lie to me Laurance, I know that look.”

“You needn’t worry about my well being.” Laurance finally stepped closer to her, standing at her side and hesitating at the urge to try and hold one of her hands. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing… alright.”

“Now who’s lying?” Irena chuckled a little bit, and Irene help him if that wasn’t one of the most assuring sounds Laurance had heard. Even if it was shaky, she could still laugh.

“What makes you say that?”

“Dante told Garroth about what happened to you the other day. And Garroth couldn’t help but tell me.” Irena sighed, tucking the bandanna into her pocket.

“I told him to keep that between us. It was just an imp playing a trick on me.”

“Why are you trying to hide from me?”

“I’m not—”

“Yes you are.”

“I just don’t want to talk about it. Not while the wound is still fresh.”

“You know that Dante told Garroth because he’s your guard, and that’s why Garroth told me. It’s our sworn duty to take care of and protect you. We can’t do that if you refuse to tell us what’s happening.”

“I wasn’t going to keep it from you for long. This is a security issue on our island that would be brought to light in due time. I just… I needed time to process what I saw.”

“You mean who you saw.” Irena let out a sigh.

“Why did you run?” Laurance turned away.

“You know why.”

“I want to hear it from you.”

“Irena, I… I couldn’t be around you like that. The calling never ends, not in my waking hours. If I had seen the way you were immediately after his passing, I don’t know if I would have been able to hold myself back.”

“Are you sure that’s what this is?” Laurance finally looked to his side and saw Irena’s pitiful expression. They were alone. She was weak. He could just do it now.

“I told you, I’m not your problem to worry about.”

“I'm going to worry regardless. I know you aren’t proud of it, but you are prone to jealousy. I just want to ensure that’s not what this is.” Laurance looked away as his hands clenched into fists. Why was she pushing this?

“And what if it was?” Irena went silent. “Look, I’ll never pretend I understood Aaron, or why he did any of what he did. And I didn’t trust him entirely either, not after he hid he was the Lord of Falcon Claw from us.”

“Laurance, it’s not that simple—”

“What I want to know is why you cared so deeply for him. What made him so special he was worthy of your love?”

“I-I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Well I do.”

“Laurance, regardless of my feelings, he proved himself trustworthy to us. Remember when you turned? He saved my life without killing you.” Laurance held back rapidly growing tears.

“And I’m ashamed he had to do such a thing. But you’re avoiding the question.”

“Maybe it’s a question I don’t want to answer.” Irena’s continued refusal had Laurance already losing his patience. The voices had enough too.

“Why not?!”

“Laurance!” Garroth suddenly snapped. “That’s enough.”

“Stay out of this!” Laurance suddenly roared, his head jerking so he could snarl at the intervening guard. Irena moved back when she saw the flash of red in his eyes.

“It’s not our place to question her on personal matters.”

“Don’t pretend like you aren’t upset over this too.”

“I’m only upset I couldn’t protect my lord adequately. You should be grateful you have the opportunity, not throwing it away over your jealousy.”

“You weren’t here, Garroth! You didn’t see the way he acted around her!”

“I only wish I could have been. He made the ultimate sacrifice for her, and in turn did the same for me. You should understand that. You were lucky enough to come back from it.” Too far and Garroth knew it, but there was nothing he could do now. Anger flowed through Laurance faster than he could keep up with, the voices of the calling louder than his own thoughts. Garroth was right, he was taking this too far, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“Don’t speak as if you understand the hell I’ve been through! The hell I went through just to get back to her! I’m here now so why care about him?!” Laurance’s eyes flashed back to their normal state, but by the time regret came to his expression, the damage was already done.

With those words, Haven finally moved from where she’d been watching the conversation, racing forward until she was a step away from Laurance, before slapping him across the face. Irena groaned, nearly falling over which made Garroth rush to her side while Laurance stood there in shock. When he finally could hear his own thoughts over the voices, he saw the tears building up in Havens eyes.

“Would you listen to yourself?!” Haven nearly screamed. “Would you think of saying the same thing if I had followed through?! If I had used my own life to break the realm barrier either of the two times I almost did it, would you be stupid enough to be enraged with someone for grieving over me?!”

“Y-You’re different–” Laurance couldn’t even fully remember what he said.

“Am I?! Aaron loved Irena the same way you love me! Would you accept someone yelling at you for mourning my death?!” Laurance opened his mouth, but closed it after a second. Then he noticed Haven’s hand on the handle of her sword, her sheath undone. “Whether you realize it or not, your selfish words have begun to harm Lord Irena. If you continue to do harm to my lord, I will not hesitate to strike you down.”

“Irena, you need some rest,” Garroth insisted as she groaned again. She just nodded, letting Garroth half pick her up and carry her over to her home.

“Will you stand down, or are you finally going to fight me?” Haven could see the battle in Laurance’s features. Streaks of red flashed through his eyes, and his pupils had begun to shake. There was a clear conflict about what the hell to feel and how to act on it. It went against his nature to wish harm on Haven, let alone Irena, but the calling was almost jumping at this chance. The voices in his head started to demand it.

But he couldn’t. Laurance’s shoulders slumped, and he stepped away from Haven, his humanity clearly winning. Haven still didn’t remove her hand from the handle of her sword, not until Laurance finally fell to his knee, tossing his sword aside, and hanging his head in shame.

“If you see it fit to punish me, do it now,” He insisted. “I have acted shamelessly, and allowed my emotions to cloud my judgment. Only a fool would ask for forgiveness, yet I throw myself at your feet to beg for it.” Haven sighed, finally buttoning up her sheath and taking her hands off of her sword.

“I will grant you what you ask, but in exchange you must promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“I need you to promise me that you won’t keep running away from how the calling making you feel.”

“Haven, I didn’t run today, and look what happened.”

“And look at how Irena didn’t even have the strength to yell at you to leave. Your Lord is in frail condition, both emotionally and physically.”

“The calling will tempt me.”

“And if you ran from it, she could die without you there to protect her.” Laurance groaned at the thought of it, something that clearly ran through his mind every day he was away from them, and Haven knew it. She knew Laurance frustratingly well. “And if Irena were to fall, not only would the grief of losing her begin to take hold of your mind, the calling would latch onto me next. Would you really risk that happening?”

“I would fall on my own sword before I ever considered hurting you.”

“Well you’re no good to me dead.” Haven glanced down at him. “Pick your head up.” Laurance raised his head to look at Haven, and she saw nothing but love and oh-so-human fear in those beautiful eyes of his. “I want you to promise me you won’t run from this. And if you do, know that I will follow after you.”

“Haven–”

“I didn’t before, remember?”

“And I told you–”

“I don’t care what you told me! Laurance–” Haven rolled her eyes and groaned as she tried to formulate the best way to word this to him. “Look, I know you guards struggle to understand this, but the people you’re protecting care about you. Even if you’re willing to go to ridiculous lengths to protect us, we’re willing to go to the same lengths to ensure you don’t die in the process.”

“Seems like an exhausting thing to do.”

“It is! If I were able to, I’d just stop caring about you sacrificial idiots! Unfortunately–” Haven looked down at that frustratingly charming smile of Laurance’s. He loved seeing Haven riled up and frustrated, and he was clearly enjoying the way she kept pausing to try and get through to him. They were both furiously stubborn, and he loved it. “Unfortunately, if I were in the Shadow Abyss that day, I would have thrown myself into whatever danger I had to in order to save your life.” Laurance froze for a moment, a chill going down his body.

“Haven, don’t say stuff like that.”

“What I’m trying to say is that you aren’t going to get away with this again. You can’t just keep running from the consequences. You wanna run off into danger, try to satiate yourself with isolation so you don’t want to kill somebody?! Too bad, cause I’ll be right behind you!”

“But I don’t want you to be!”

“But that’s not how the story goes.” Haven smiled as she knelt down in front of Laurance. “The poet will travel to hell and back just to get another glimpse at their muse.” Laurance sighed, finally relenting, taking his hand off of his knee and holding it out to Haven, who took it tenderly.

“And their muse will always follow, in hopes of hearing just one more note of their song.”

“So, darling muse, will you make this poet into a soldier who fights the fates for you?” Laurance looked up into Haven’s eyes, before pulling her hand closer and placing a kiss against it.

“My fabled poet, you need not do such a thing. They already fear you.” Haven giggled, before pulling Laurance into a kiss. It was slow, not about feeling particularly good, rather just about cementing in that promise. And the fact that Haven was easily the more stubborn of the two.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

WOW, a Mario Reacts! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Hell yeah, I can work with this!

(no bc seriously, I just finished watching ep. 7 of Arcane before this and I need an emotional break, yeah I know the rest of Act 3 is gonna kill me)

(the following is my live reaction:)

oh hey, Mario! Wassup?

jigsaw, is that you?

oh nvm, hello Swag! nice to see you again since last episode

I'm about to commit a crime [*strikes a pose then walks away*]

I'm willing to work in a government office just so I can come up with an acronym like, gee idk, Y.U.R.I. or something (I should've been a worker in NASA)

NO STOP STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!

At this point, Mario, I would just give up

[*clears throat*] mejor me muero, ni modo que sigo con estos porquerías. bueno como dice Mario, bye bye [*drinks some water*] alright I'm back

TADC? ah, just a normal Saturday

no thoughts, head empty

honestly, mood

well, in his own way, yeah

[*echoes announcer voice*] VR, the new era of entertainment

...mr puzzles? nah jk jk

oh, Four's theory may not be wrong here (omg it's jesus)

still can't believe christianity is canon in the SMG4 universe

oh, so I was right! [*jigsaw voice*] "I wanna play a game."

That's actually kinda sweet that he immediately chooses his brother

OH SHIT OOOOH that's gotta hurt

NO MARIO, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME

[*other me pops in*] emo girlfriend, omg it's smg3

no, we're NOT gonna look too much into this, shut up other me

PPFFFTTT that caught me so off guard

say it with me now: YOU CAN'T CONTROL MARIO [*applause*]

I mean, we've been through simulations before, we can take this one too

unironically, I wouldn't mind a 10-hour video of just Mario (and/or the rest of the Crew) just dancing :)

it doesn't even need to have music, I can just put my playlist on and I would totally join in

ooooh, you want to scan that QR code so badly

but also, how did they get a screenshot of my computer?

Mario 🤝 Mario Buddy from the last episode → destroying PCs for the LOLs

AKLDHLKSAFB;KL just the way Mario goes for a fighting stance just so he could run away will never not be funny to me

LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNNNNN

10 hours, welp I got my wish lmao

Mario morphing his face... hmmmm..... [*flashback noises*]

[SMG4: MAR10 Day]

....

don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it

KIRBO NOOOOOOOOO

NO NO NO SWAG NO

same vibes

meme factory? youtube arc? is that you? /j

(yeah I know that the Team uses the same assets ik)

LET'S DO THISSSS oh welp time to vibe

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

what would that be, Swag? Try not to Laugh challenge? I might win tbh

LET'S GO GAMBLING

laughing because of early victory call? very in character for Swag

oooh that's some good animation (y'know, as always)

HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE

am i thinking too much into this or is this the same military base from last episode?

Alright, my little headcanon: the events of this episode and the last one took place on the exact same day

that's just for me specifically

oh hey, more TADC ref

Also, nice PINGAS STUCK IN A DOOR ref

man Mario can't catch a break dude

Congrats to CMorseu for your art being featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Such a good episode! Not plot-heavy, just a silly episode. I'll gladly take it as my late birthday present. And it's great to have Swag back, kinda was half-expecting Chris to just pop out.

I've said this once and I'll say it again: I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with goofy episodes. After all, we just came from WOTFI and we do need a bit of a break so the Team could work on the next arc. (From the looks of things, we might get goop!4 *cough cough*)

Loved the bits of animation and Mario's expressions as always.

Now, I know there is some talk about the SMG4 Crew/Mario Does Things being on hiatus and merging with the Saturday videos. If you can even call it that. Personally, I don't mind it. I completely understand if doing 2 episodes per week is a lot for the Team to handle, though I do wish they would give an explanation for it. I think the best solution would be for the Team making an announcement of the change, the reasons behind it, and how it may be different from the regular Saturday episodes. Also make it clear that "hey, the title says this so it doesn't impact the main storyline".

Anyway, it has been overall a pretty funny episode and I quite enjoyed it! Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna cry my eyes out watching the rest of Arcane Act 3 and bring that angst to the next episode concept :)

OH THE MISERY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYYYYY

[xian1na]

buncha words bout some spring animes #5

Now that I'm a Serious and Employed Person I appreciate series like Skip and Loafer or SpyFam even more. There's nothing better than coming back home and relaxing with some cute and funny anime. It may well be that if I rewatched some older series which I'd dropped or skipped altogether because they seemed boring, I would actually like them much more now. Well, for now let's stick to spring shows. Enjoy!

The Witch from Mercury (season 2, ep. 1-3) - one more week and I'll finally catch up to GWitch. These first three episodes were a real rollercoaster - we started with a pretty chill one, just reestablishing the characters and plot for the second cour. AND THEN! Episode two was wild. I gotta say, what's really amazing about the writing in this series is how it keeps introducing asshole characters, only to make you feel sorry for them after just a couple of episodes. And it actually works, I really care about these guys. I want to believe they're going to be alright... I don't know how dark Gundam endings usually are, but I get a feeling it's better to expect the worst and get a nice surprise, instead of the other way around.

Oshi no Ko (ep. 6) - yeah, yeah, I've watched another one. I planned to give it one last chance before dropping it but then Oshi no Ko had the gall to drop the best episode since the prologue. I still have some issues with it but I think it did a great job characterising Akane (and Yuki, too), making her relatable and sympathetic. What helped a lot was that Aqua was barely present in this one. You know what guys, I don't think I like Aqua very much. Which is a shame, because acting and film stuff in this series interests me more than idol stuff. Methinks I should look for some anime/manga about acting.

Skip and Loafer (ep. 7) - The highlight of this episode was seeing the drama club pres guy actually doing something decent for a change. And of course we have a brand new character introduced in the last minutes of the episode. I guess she's either Shima's family or one of the people he met when he was an actor. I wonder how will this plot develop and how will this person be neutralised by Mitsumi. Or hey, maybe she won't be! There are some people with whom you just don't get along, and I don't see that a lot in anime, I don't think.

Heavenly Delusion (ep. 6-7) - We got less school and more Maru and Kiruko's adventures, I'm definitely fine with that. Episode 6 had some great jokes, faces and cuts of animation, and episode 7 on the other hand got really disturbing towards the end. I like how this series treats the characters' sexuality (so far) - I mean, they're kids, they're figuring things out, and it's presented with honesty you don't often see. These episodes were also a bit thinner on plot elements and mysteries, but I liked that. I guess it could be a breather before what comes next.

Hell's Paradise (ep. 7) - Last week I speculated, that something major was going to happen this episode. That... turned out to be wrong, more or less. We now know a little bit more about the island and the elixir of life, but the majority of the episode was devoted to lighter character moments. So now I don't even know what I should expect next week. To be honest Jigokuraku is also close to falling off my watchlist but I'll give it one more chance.

Insomniacs after school (ep. 4-6) - Aaaand I caught up to Insomniacs. I think it's growing on me - the side characters were nicely fleshed out in the recent episodes and the relationship between the two leads is cute (not my top ship of the season, but they're nice kids!). Am I really going to watch another romance series this season? I almost never watch them!

I skipped Yamada-kun this week, but I'm definitely coming back to it next time. And finally:

Spy x Family (ep. 10-12) - Ok, two things: 1) Bill Watkins (6) was even better than whatever I was picturing before watching the episode and the whole game of dodgeball was a riot. 2) And then episode 11 had some brilliant Anya Starlight Anya moments. I can't wait to see the pupper. Thankfully I don't have to wait three months, I can jump right in the second cour. Episode 12 was kind of a weak follow-up to the two preceding episodes and a weird finale to the whole season, but the penguins were cute. So really, it's impossible to say if it was good or bad.

And that's it from me! Thanks so much for reading, have a great week and see you next Saturday!

[inkedmyths]

S2: E5 "Simon Said"

Brought to you by Kayla was bored and I was bored enough to continue AND ALSO THIS WAS A MONTH AGO I'M SORRY

This ep featuring: Murder suicide, demon touched pussy, grand theft auto, and yet another fucked up brotherly parallel

Silas: UR STILL ON SEASON 2? Crepe: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES Melon: They’ve been watching at a rate of one-two episodes every two weeks. We’re gonna be here for the long haul (years) Me: Bc I have been busy <3 Silas: BYE I THOUGHT UD BE AT 3 AT THIS POINT HAGAHAYUGADG Me: SHUT UP SILAS Silas: SO MEAN TO ME

[ There is a brief interruption as I'm about to start because my mom walked in to make a joke about being a bad influence. This has nothing to do with Supernatural. She has never watched it and refuses to. A wise decision, probably. ]

What the fuck? What the fuck

[ The peanut gallery continues to make fun of my slow watch rate. I ignore them in favor of staring in bafflement at the screen. ]

Vision? Flashback?

Visions!!

[ Aspen now enters the chat, making a comment that they were just thinking about how long its been since the last time. ]

UHHH

DAMN HE JUST COMMITED A MURDER

MURDER SUICIDE

Oh hello Sam

Back at it again with the evil visions huh

[ Why the fuck does Aspen have a teletubby emote. ]

Dean beloved your phrasing needs work. Its so bad <3

The bar all goes 👀 when the boys walk in

Does. He

He has no pants. Ok

THATS PRETTY DAMN SPECIFIC SAM

WHSHSGSGS

[ Kayla at last arrives, late as hell for someone so invested in me watching this. ]

REO SPEEDWAGON...

DEAN.... WHSHSGSG SINGING IT IN DEAD SILENCE IN THE CAR

Okay so we are tracking down another kid who might've been visited by the demon

LAWYERS

LEFT HIM AN ESTATE

GUYS ISN'T THIS LIE TAKING IT A BIT FAR—

Kayla: nah. its funny

Barbarian Queen riding a polar bear...

WJSHDH DEAN "I don't know, I'm starting to like this dude. That van is sweet."

I mean it is a reasonable connection that so far these uh. Idk. Demon touched psychics? Are violent?

And like Sam has a point, hunting is killing and violence, even if Dean is pretty keen on separating that completely from normal murder

Kayla: read that notif as demon touched pussy. i was like shit fr? Me: DEMON TOUCHED PUSSY.......

Dude actually I'm with Dean on this one. This guy fucks

Literally, judging from the girl waving at him

Dean thats not subtle.... why can't you guys be subtle..........

DID. DID HE JUST STEAL THE CAR

IN TEARS.

DEAN HE JUST STOLE YOUR CAR

WHAT

He's like some kind of? Affects minds?

"He full on Obi-Waned me" HELL YEAH LET'S GO STAR WARS REFERENCE ON MAY THE 4TH

OH SHIT MAN JUST WALKED INTO TRAFFIC

Dr Jennings...?

Ok ok...

WJSHSH "AND OJ WAS GUILTY"

I can't believe this, this is so funny

The guy LITERALLY stole Dean's car and he's still like "Man this guy FUCKS I can't be mad at him"

Dean viewing his van with a disco ball and a bong: This guy is so real

Guy has a thing for weird eccentric guys in long coats I guess

MOBY DICKS BONG

OH SHIT HE APPEARS

IT NOT HIM IT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE?

What the fuck?

Oh fuck? What the fuck what is happening?

OH HE HAS A BROTHERRRRE

OH OH I SEE

OH THIS FUCKIN GUY

I SEEEEEEE

Sam buddy you alright

OH THE GIRL

His long lost twin was jealous?

Or something? Why the murder

Damn Sam these visions are sucking worse and worse huh

Ohhhh weird weird creepy fucker

OH HE'S WEIRDLY? WEIRDLY OVERPROTECTIVE? WHAT THATS EVEN CREEPIER

The constant weirdass parallels to the Winchesters huh

Whaaaaaat the fuck

LMAO (jedi mindtricking) "You really don't want to do this" (gets punched)

What in the fuck is happening here

Dude what

Yeah exactly!! Just talk to your brother like a normal person

THE MAN WITH THE YELLOW EYES

Kayla: you wanna know a funny story abt him Kayla: he actually has a name Kayla: however when i first watched his whole section (i was 10 i think) i decided that the man w the yellow eyes was too long Kayla: this was pre name reveal Kayla: so i Kayla: named him. Kayla: his name was jeffery. Kayla: i stand by that. Me: WJDHDHD Crepe: JEFFERY

Ohhhhh poor Andy :((

I love Andy I would die for Andy he was just living his life and his twin had been got by the demon so he showed up and was a murderous bastard

AUAUGH

DEAN NO

Sam is at his ropes end, Dean is deciding that ignoring things is the best option

Oh fuck shes onto them

Well fuck. Broke pattern, who knows how many weird psychics the demon has tabs on

Aaaaand end episode

Damn!

---

Okay, really interesting episode. I stand by that I would die for Andy, I hope he's okay after all of this nonsense.

But it's definitely setting up some crazy shit with psychic people... wonder where this is going... genuinely. I have no idea. But its probably not good!

[tjsplace]

aug 20

11.51 pm

today has been. a. lot. woke up feeling like shit, as i've grown accustomed to for the past five days, and dragged myself into the shower. washed my hair and had a good class. our professor liked our progress and even tho one person from my group didn't show up, we actually had several things to show her. i went to my mom's to borrow her car for the akashic records on the other side of the city. i had lunch with my grandma even though i was super irritable. she asked me five times if i wanted salad and i tried really hard to not snap at her. i cried with my mom, then drove to the reader's house. i sang the ep boy by luke hemmings the whole way there. seven songs three times each. i have a notebook page with my notes. but basically, i gotta accept myself, i'm not crazy, i gotta make peace with everything i've done and gone through, and i gotta accept my father too. it's his birthday today. she also told me -my masters also told me- that i have such a hard time quitting cigarettes not because i'm an addict. but because cigarettes have been my life-long partners. our bond is even romantical at times. platonic at best. they got me through life. they helped me feel less alone. and i started at sixteen, in a psychiatric clinic. i gotta find the reason i picked up my first cigarette. apparently it's super traumatic for me and it'll be a whole painful thing, but i gotta grow up. i'm still a teenager. i'm telling myself this with all the love i got for myself. i have to restrain myself for adding which is not much to the last sentence. i fail. i'm okay. then i went to my dad's birthday and it was alright. i saw my siblings and even though i was tired as fuck, i had a decent time. after the reading, i went back to my mom's to return the car. we had a conversation, because my masters said i should talk about that traumatic period of time with my mom, my sister, and my closest friends. and write. write a lot and don't quit. ever. anyway, my mom told me so many upsetting things about those weeks surrounding my first suicide attempt. my little brother had been born the week before. i took the pills the next day of my mother's birthday. i'd forgotten about that. she told me even though she hated i started smoking, her psychiatrist told her it was better that i smoked than it was for me to cut myself. i felt the ants between the stay in the hospital and the stay in the psychiatric clinic. it was about the time i lost so much weight because of the doctor who was too mean to me and made me scared of eating sugar. i think my eating disorder was at full-machinery. was that about the time i bought the book la dieta de la muerte? i met the author in the clinic. i became friends with her. but wait, i remember cutting myself after i met another girl in the clinic. she cut herself and i thought she was cool so i started doing that after those twenty days. were they twenty? my masters also said something like i will be free of the cigarettes by the end of the year, but all of the reflecting will be really hard and i'll need to tolerate it to grow up. because i'm still a teenager. i'm still dependent on my mother, especially economically. next year is me entering my adulthood, finally. i will be out of school. i will graduate and have a diploma. i will need to get a job, maybe i need it now. oh no, i don't wanna spiral on what i should or shouldn't do right now. i wanna enjoy my last semester as a teenager. maybe that's not possible. who knows. also i mustn't experience those traumatic events as if they're happening in real time. i just gotta observe then. judgement-free. just as the person i am today. i don't judge people, others have told me it's one of my best qualities. anyway, i'm tired. weird thing is that i didn't smoke as many cigarettes as other days. as yesterday, for example.

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Rubbish and Probably a Podcast Q&A! Transcript

[Garageband Good Omens theme song plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen the show too many times…

G: And I, someone who also has seen Season 1 and 2 of Good Omens, discuss every single episode of- Good Omens. [laughs] I still have no idea how to do that intro.

C: Yes. But for today's episode, we are discussing our predictions and wishlist for Season 3, and answering some of y'all's questions. Or I guess all of your questions. We didn't exclude any of them. So yeah!

G: Yes. Hell yeah!

C: Hell yeah! Alright, so it's been like, two weeks since we last recorded, and you're no longer in active Good Omens mode. So how's it going? What are you thinking? What's your life?

G: You know what? While Good Omens was happening, I rarely had any funny thoughts about it. [laughs] [C: Uh-huh.] You know, I would talk about it in the podcast, and I would, you know, joke about. But like, outside of that, every time I thought about Good Omens, it was always like, thinking about it seriously. I feel like now that it's over and it's like, done with, and I'm not in the podcasting mindset anymore of like, "Oh, I have to talk about this in the podcast, and I have to have something worthwhile to say," [C: Yeah.] I feel like [laughing] I like Season 2 better!

C: What??

G: I'm like, "That's funny!" I mean, okay, maybe not Season 2 specifically. [C: Uh-huh.] Actually, I have not engaged in any content that's like, Season 2-specific. More of like, my anger for the season has like, dissipated. [C: Huh.] You know, like, okay, whatevs. 'Cause it's over. It's done. [C: That's true.] I feel like it's just going to rise back up when Season 3 comes out. God. I hope Season 3 doesn't happen. Let's just end it right here. [both laughing] [C: So true.] But yeah. I still have not involved myself with the Good Omens fandom. I'm like, scared. I'm gonna talk about it later 'cause there is a question in our Q&A that made me look something up on Tumblr, [laughs] and it will be with so much rage and upset, so I just am never doing that again.

C: Yeah, I mean, the tag is a difficult place to be.

G: It is. I mean, I feel like this is so mean to say, like, [laughing] at the first five minutes of our Good Omens recap ep.

C: What, that no one in there's funny?

G: No, because, like, I mean, probably the people who listen to us are like, people who are on Tumblr, blogging about Good Omens and stuff. [C: Mm.] But like, I just mean, like, I feel like when you go to the main tags, it's always the [laughs] worst of the worst that gets filtered to the top. So yeah.

C: Is the thing that you looked up that filled you with rage the coffee theory?

G: The coffee, yes.

C: [laughing] It's so bad! [both laugh] Yeah, we'll get to it.

G: I am so grateful that the person who sent us that question asked it and then said their thoughts. [C: Yeah.] Because I feel like I wouldn't be able to interface with it well if they just asked it with the assumption that they agreed with it. [laughing]

C: Right, I'd be like, "God, [laughing] I need to be nice to you, but I don't agree with that theory!" [G laughing] Yeah.

G: But anyway, yeah. [C: Anyway.] Also, I think I've been more just thinking about Aziraphale and Crowley in the Season 1 context, even until now. I don't know. Season 2 is fine, but- I keep on dillydallying. I just said it's fine, I like it, but also, it's not real to me. Like, I refuse to read fanfiction that is set in Season 2 or even has aspects of Season 2 in it, you know? FUn stuff! How about you?

C: Huh. What about me?

G: 'Cause I mean you, you're like, you watched Good Omens, and [laughs] you didn't exist to create content out of it for a really long time, and then, you know, for a whirlwind three months, it was the only thing on your mind. So how was that? That's not even an exaggeration. [laughs]

C: This is true. I mean, it was wonderful. [G, laughing: Like it literally-] It was wonderful. It's all I've ever wanted. [both laugh] I don't know. It was nice to get to do like, a deep dive into it because I feel like I gained a much better understanding of the characters. Because I think before, it's like, I watched it, I had feelings, and then I relied on like, fic and the occasional post to like, shape my deeper interpretations of things, but then I got to come up with stuff on my own. Congrats to me!

G: I do also quite like that about my experience of watching Good Omens. I mean, in general, I'm not a person who involves myself in fandom. That's a complete lie.

C: Yeah, we went to Supernatural together.

G: I mean, for Supernatural, I obviously involved myself- [laughs] We literally went to- But Supernatural was kind of more of an exception. Like, a lot of other stuff, I either do not involve myself in the fandom-

C: What was the Ace Attorney Twitter?

G: Yeah. And that one I literally hated everybody [laughing] I ever met in that place, so like, [C laughing] you know what I mean? So I'm not fond of that kind of stuff. But it it is miserable sometimes when you're like, "But I do want to talk about it, but also, I feel like every single person available that I can talk about with it doesn't interface with it the way I wish to." I don't know. Having this podcast is like, I think you're generous enough to interface with me the way I want to interface with, like, Good Omens, and also, the people who opt in to listen to us, like, our episodes, are so long and arduous. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] [laughing] Like, if they're listening in until the very end, it's like, they probably agree. You know what I mean?

C: Yeah. [laughs] I mean, we could have hate-listeners, but if so, hiii!

G: Yeah, if you're a hate-listener, I really do really wanna know. [C laughing] Like, it's my dream that someone listens to an episode of- like, waits for an episode to drop and then texts their friend-

C: Someone, yeah, listens to the six-hour episode that is 12.2.

G: - texts their friend that "Oh my god! In 4 hour 30 minute mark of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast [C laughing] Episode 12, they said that blah blah blah, and I vehemently disagree. Crystal and Grey are the stupidest motherfuckers alive!" And like, that's my dream. If you do do that, thank you so much.

C: I do imagine, like, the time when we called Aziraphale and Neil Gaiman people with like, 15-year-old on Tumblr reading comprehension, I know in my heart that someone was like, "Yeah, and so do you guys." [G laughs]

G: It's important to me. I wish people hate-listened to us. [laughs]

C: So true. None of this is a Season 3 prediction or wish, so.

G: [laughing] The only wish is that people hate-listen to us. God. I want everyone to know that that episode is like, 6 hours long, and the raw footage- "footage"- the raw recording is like, [overlapping] 8 hours and 50 minutes. It's crazy! Almost 9 hours, and it was split through two recording sessions because I couldn't- I couldn't hold out. I couldn't. I cannot.

C: This is true. It's so crazy that our original plan was to have all of Episode 12 be like, in one recording session. That would have totalled to like, what? Like, 14 hours? 15 hours?

G: Yeah. I mean, the moment we ended that one, I was like, "No, I can't do it." [laughing] So I was right. I was right. I mean, the last episode we did a two-parter on, [laughing] I literally fell asleep in the middle of recording of the second one, so like-

C: You did?

G: I literally did.

C: Okay, Season 3 predictions? When do you think they're gonna see each other again? Which episode number? Oh, okay, I don't have predictions, I guess. I was just gonna ask questions, but do you have real predictions?

G: What do you mean "When are we gonna see each other again?" What are you talking about? When are they?

C: When are they gonna see each other again? [G laughs] Which episode out of 6?

G: [laughing] I was like, [both laughing] "Are we gonna completely disappear from each others' lives despite also having another podcast responsibility?" C: Yeah, as soon as this Q&A ends, I'm blocking you. [G laughing]

G: The moment they unblock me, the podcast is back on.

C: Real and correct.

G: That's a very interesting question. I've actually not thought about that. I don't think it's going to be Episode 1.

C: I think the 2 or 3 mark.

G: I think maybe it will be fun if it's like, Episode 3 so we have one episode that's Crowley and then one episode that's Aziraphale.

C: Mm.

G: And then we get the meetup episode on Ep 3.

C: Yeah, though, I mean, I feel like the style of Good Omens is that they loove cutting back and forth so much, so I don't know if either of them would get a solo ep.

G: They can cut back to Anathema or something. [laughs] I don't really give a shit.

C: God, yeah. Pleaaase. Please. [G: Pweaaase. Yeah.] Anathema, pleaase.

G: No, literally, the first thing on my Season 3 wishlist is, "I want Anathema back." I sincerely do. I've been thinking about her a lot, and it does frustrate me because I'm- like, when I read fic, I'm very very very very very- like, I filter out everything, you know? I do not like to see what I do not like to see. My preferences are listed to the tee. So Newt is always out, Anathema x Newt is always out. And so I feel like I just have missed so many fics where like, Aziraphale and Crowley are there and then Anathema is like, also a character. Recently, out of the goodness of my heart [C laughs], and also missing Anathema. I- like, exited those X's on the preference. [C: Wow.] And now I've been reading fics with like, Aziraphale and Crowley and Anathema in it. So yeah, I miss Anathema. Want her back, etc.

C: It would also be nice to see Adam again, but [laughs] I feel like that child actor probably has school to do or something, so, unlikely.

G: I mean, the kids are probably like, 17 now.

C: Oh, yeah, that's true. Well.

G: Like, he's about to graduate high school. He doesn't have to go to college, I think. [both laugh] He can become a full-time actor.

C: [laughing] For the sake of Good Omens Season 3.

G: [laughs] Exactly. I mean, I want to see Adam less than I want to see Anathema because I feel like bringing back those kids would be a little bit like-

C: "We're getting the gang back together"?

G: Yeah, and, I mean, the fics about it are nice, but like, the show does not interface with them, as like, people who even like each other, [laughs] you know? Like-

C: You mean Aziraphale and Crowley and the kids? Yeah.

G: Yeah. So I don't know about that.

C: I mean, she did tell him to shoot, and then he did shoot.

G: [laughs] Recently, I've been thinking about the fact that, like, so many fics have, like, you know, Crowley be nice to Warlock or whatever, [laughing] which is so funny to me because he literally told Aziraphale, "You should just kill that kid" in 1.01. [C laughs] So true!

C: Yeah, it's true. [laughs]

G: He literally sang that kid to sleep like, every single night for years. And [laughing] he's like, "Yeah, we should just probably shoot him. I don't know."

C: He had bad vibes.

G: Exactly. I have no predictions, actually. All of these are like, wishlist stuff. So do you have any other predictions?

C: Predictions? Huh. I mean, the only thing I know properly about Season 3 is that Neil Gaiman was like- he considered Season 2 gentle and romantic [G: Oh yeah, I've seen this.] and Season 3 as decidedly not. I mean, I think he just means there's gonna be plot that happens.

G: [laughs] I thought you were gonna say there's gonna be porn, [C laughs] which is so funny! Well, maybe there is. Maybe they would fuck raw in the street.

C: Maybe they would fuck raw in the street. I don't know. Okay, like, I think Jesus is gonna happen. I think I think the baby Jesus headcanons are cute, but I feel like it would just be sort of hard to do on a set. So I feel like they're just gonna have Jesus be like, full-grown in his 30s or something.

G: Yeah, they're going to create Jack Supernatural, which is wonderful. Wonderful character! I love Jack Supernatural. [C: That's true.] But also, don't recreate Jack Supernatural. [C: Yeah.] That's Jack Supernatural. You will never be Jack Supernatural.

C: I think it's, yeah. I think it's unlikely that Adam's gonna come back because it'll make it too clear that it's like, "So you did the Antichrist in Season 1 and now you're gonna do the Christ in Season 3?"

G: They're gonna fight it out, yeah.

C: Yeah. If Anathema's actress has the time, I think there is a way that they could incorporate more Agnes Nutter.

G: I think so too. I mean, she threw away that that fucking paper, and that's very important to her journey. [C: Mm-hm.] Let's bring her back, though. Like, [laughing] IDGAF.

C: Yeah, let's destroy her journey. I wanna see her again. [G laughs]

G: I feel like it will be interesting for Anathema's character to be like- and even without the you know, even without the Agnes stuff, even without the prophecies, she's still like, a capable person. She's still an occultist, as she says. She can probably sense that something's up, and she knows that there's an angel and a demon in Soho.

C: Though, I mean her memory of that's pretty hazy, but it's still somewhat.

G: She remembers. IDGAF. [both laugh] She remembers somewhat.

C: Yeah, yeah. And I feel like that having a new apocalypse happen and her be prophecyless is a way for her to like, grapple with the decision she made on a larger scale than just like, [G: Exactly!] having to make like, monthly life choices. And then she can drop off Newt, or she can open with like, no Newt already!

G: I mean, I would like her to open up, [laughs] and then we just never acknowledge that guy. Like, he's just never mentioned. That's my dream.

C: Yeah. Well, now, we're back at wishlist. [laughs] We can pingpong between. It's fine.

G: I would like Anathema. I think it is very nice to be like, she threw away that piece of paper, that book, the second set of prophecies, and like, now, they're at a time where like, "It would be real nice if we had that book!" And, you know, like, grappling with that, like, maybe guilt, but also, like, saying that "I don't need it." and being like, "Wait. Actually, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I did do the wrong thing." Again, like, one of our main complaints for Season 2 is they paralleled everything to Aziraphale and Crowley and it got tiring real fast, but like, if they really want to do a parallel to Aziraphale, like, let's bring Anathema in! You know? [C: Yeah. Yeah.] I think her questions of faith with like, Aziraphale being like, "All of the heavenly commands and dictates are very clear, but, like, God, is this nebulous thing. Like, I don't really know what God's asking of me." That could be, you know, applied to Anathema, where, like, all the dictates are so clear, but also like, "I don't really know a lot of the time what Agnes is actually saying," you know? And then, "Now I really don't know, 'cause I threw it away." Which is something that Aziraphale did. You know. You know. I think it's important that we bring back Anathema.

C: Mm-hm. I agree. I agree. [G: Yeah.] Okay, what's Crowley even been doing in between Season 2 and Season 3? First off, I guess I don't know how long the timeskip is, but I feel like it's gonna be like, basically zero.

G: You know, I don't think there's going to be a timeskip at all. I think we're going to pick back where we left off.

C: Ough. Alright. In that case, it doesn't really matter what Crowley's been doing, because it's just been like, a day, and she's just been getting white girl schwasted in her flat.

G: One of my other wishlist is the Crowley mane, of course. [C: Oh, yeah.] But you know what? [C: What?] I'm doubling down. I want to see Aziraphale have a beard.

C: No! No, god, it'll be so bad!

G: I wanna see it. It probably will be very bad. [laughs]

C: You want to look at the screen at your special little guy and be reminded of Michael fucking Sheen?

G: I mean, not particularly, but I think I do wanna- I think I've said this. I do want to see something change in Aziraphale's looks in Season 3.

C: Yeah. His outfit will be different. You did it. It happened.

G: Boo! Well, what if we put like, I don't know, golden tattoos on his face or something? You think that'd be fun?

C: Sure. Yeah. A lot of people have his eyes go purple, but that's a Gabriel-specific thing.

G: No, that's what I'm thinking! No but like, is it? 'Cause like, maybe it's a heavenly host/commander of the heavenly host thing.

C: No, I mean, [sighs] according to Neil Gaiman's Tumblr, I think he just saw purple eyes on a human and then stole them, like, I think that was what the question was.

G: Yeah, and he should steal it again for Aziraphale.

C: Aziraphale should go to Alpha Centauri [both laughing] and steal Gabriel's eyeballs. [G laughs] Yeah, and Crowley will just be like, [fake-teary] "You went to Alpha Centauri without me??" like, not even giving a fuck about the eyeball-stealing

G: Oh, speaking of Gabriel, I'm unsure how much presence him or Beelzebub-

C: I don't want him or Beelzebub in Season 3. They're out. Goodbye. [laughs]

G: Do you think so? Or is that a wish?

C: I don't see why they would be back.

G: They like to employ John Hamm in this show. I feel like John Hamm will be back.

C: I just think if no one from Season 1 came back, [G: Oh, yeah.] I don't see a reason to do like a "And now we have to go consult Gabriel and Beelzebub about the Apocalypse."

G: Okay, they're gone. Okay. Here's my only condition. If we never see Gabriel and Beelzebub again, we should never, ever see Nina and Maggie again. Like, it should not happen.

C: We're gonna see them again, though.

G: Are you sure? [laughing] If you fucking say that "Neil Gaiman said on Tumblr," I will fucking disappear into the void.

C: No, he didn't say anything. [G: Okay.] I think it's just because in the final fifteen, Crowley waves goodbye to both of them [G: Yeah.], it seems like an odd move if they're not gonna come back.

G: Yeah, he said goodbye, because, you know, they're never gonna see each other ever again. [C laughing] That's the final goodbye. It's a big one.

C: Well, if we're talking about side characters, we know that Muriel and Shax are gonna be in Season 3.

G: Of course, yeah. We need to do a Furfur and Shax torrid love affair situation. [C laughs] Why not?

C: Yeah. Why not? Okay for Shax, it's like-

G: Wait, we're already doing a Michael/Shax torrid love affair situation. [C: Polyamory's real.] Well, they can be a throuple, just like House and Cuddy and Wilson.

C: Mm-hm. [laughs] But yeah, obviously, she's very pro-Apocalypse, and she's gonna win that Dark Council seat. I don't really see like a "redemption arc" for Shax, but I also don't see a, like, "They shove her off a cliff as she yells 'noo!'" ending, [laughs] so like.

G: I mean, obviously not. It would be a bit weird if they do like a "And then they die" [C laughs] ending for anyone, 'cause I mean, like, in even in Season 1, right? Like, they don't. hurt Gabriel, they don't hurt Beelzebub, like, no one- Ligur was literally the only casualty.

C: Do you think Heaven and Hell are gonna end reformed at all? Or is it just like, "We've held them off for another century"?

G: Season 1 paints this as like, "the big one," you know, "us versus them." So I think maybe they would lead more into the like, human aspect of the saving the world. Whatever.

C: Mm-hm. Which is why we need Anathema back so hard and so raw?

G: It cannot be a Season 1, "We're gonna go back to the status quo, therefore delaying the inevitable new Apocalypse in the future." I think there will be a big change by the end.

C: Yeah, I mean abolition of Heaven and Hell, Perhaps

G: I don't- do you think Neil Gaiman-? [laughs] I don't think Neil Gaiman-

C: - has the courage to say that? No, he doesn't even have the courage to say that God is bad, so, [laughs] [G: Yeah.] I don't think it's happening. He will never be Philip Pullman.

G: I have only two other things on my wish list, and also predictions, which is "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" [C laughs] plays in this fucking TV show. But also, I want an expansion of Crowley's music tastes. [C: Yeah.] I want to see what other stuff they're into, you know? Can we play some Velvet Underground in this thing? We should.

C: Is the bit that, like, every single CD in their car turns into Queen- that's not canon in the TV show, right? And like, when Aziraphale brings out the Velvet Underground, Crowley's not like, "Oh, that'll be Queen by now." So like, I guess, like- So in the show, Crowley does listen to all the Queen, like, on purpose. In the book, Crowley doesn't even like Queen, I think. [G laughs] That's just what happens to their music.

G: The Bentley likes Queen. That's a very different thing than Crowley liking it. Yeah. I don't know. They're going to be back in the flat. God! It's gonna be so miserable. Or will it be? Who knows?

C: I feel like it's gonna be not that miserable 'cause I feel like Season 3 is gonna focus more on the plot, and like, once, Neil Gaiman's like, "I'm no longer writing a romance primarily," he'll just like, drop a lot of the emotional baggage that we ended Season 2 with.

G: We actually have a question regarding this later. [C: This is true.] So I'm going to talk about that in that question more, but I mean, in Season 2, right? "Write Aziraphale and Crowley with the intention of making it a romance" is like, I feel like it's not as effective as it could have been. Or, I mean, it's not as good, I should say, as it could have been. I don't know. Maybe it will actually help if it's not so romance-centric.

C: Yeah, we can get back to the Season 1, Episode 3, which was the height of romance.

G: Yeah, that shit was crazy. I'm still thinking about that. I'm still there. I'm still in Rome, baby. I'm still in Rome. [C laughs]

C: Okay. I mean, wishlist, like Aziraphale memory-wipe blast 100, go. But yeah, I feel like if this is gonna be a more human-centric apocalypse, I feel like Aziraphale getting his memory wiped would just derail all of that, and we wouldn't get Anathema back or anything so like, maybe not. If there was like, gonna be a Season 4, which, like, luckily, there will not be, please? [knocking] Knock on wood. Then I would allow Aziraphale to get memory wiped, but I think we don't have the time for it. The Book of Life, I don't know if it's gonna come into play in Season 3. Like, it seems like it should, but also it's fully possible that he just made this thing up to create fake consequences and fake stakes in Season 2 and then drop it immediately, so [laughs], I don't know. Aziraphale erases Jesus from the Book of Life, not clickbait, question mark? I don't think it's gonna happen. Would be funny, though.

G: I mean, we've been introduced to the idea of like, removing the angels' memories from like, the time of angelness, but I feel like to implement that on a large scale is incredibly mean, and like, very bad. [laughs] So probably not.

C: Oh, you mean a form of Heaven abolition is just like, wiping every angel's memory and dropping them down to Earth to be humans?

G: Yeah. That's disagreeable.

C: Yeah, that would not be niceys.

I mean, it'd be nice if they talked it out, but I don't think they're gonna talk it out.

G: No one has ever talked.

C: Yeah. Should we get to the Q and the A?

G: Yeah, let's get on the Q&A!

C: Alright. Oh, I guess you should ask the first two, [faux-egotistical] 'cause I'm the one answering them, 'cause they're just for me, 'cause I'm like, special or whatever.

G: [laughs] Okay, fine. [C laughs] Well, so the first set of questions is like, about canon-related stuff, so I mean, if you're like, "Oh, but you asked one of my questions, why not the other one?" It's because the other one's like, on another category, that's why. Well, so our first question is from anonymous. "What are some aspects of Good Omens you preferred in the book, and what are some you preferred in the show?" This is a Crystal-specific question because I still have not finished the book.

C: Yes. Yeah. Okay. I feel like- I think it's mostly stuff that I've talked about during Season 1, where I think that the, you know, the scene where they wrap up everything with Adam is much better in the book because they actually like, give him lines that make sense, and he talks about free will and all that shit, whereas it's "you're not my dad" [laughs] in the show. I guess they just turn it into something interpersonal that wasn't there before that also has no real canon backing. So yeah, I really really prefer Adam's speech to the Metatron and Beelzebub in the book. I also think that book does like, a more- it does like, a better job at like, Heaven and Hell equivalency, I suppose, where like Aziraphale and Crowley both consider their sides sorta meh, especially Crowley. I feel like there's a focus on how like, Heaven and Hell are just as bad as each other in the narration and in like, Crowley's POV. In the show, I feel like sometimes, they try to say that, but it still doesn't come across, really, because of- I don't know if it's like, the visuals or the whatever. You could definitely make the argument that, like, Heaven and Hell and the show, are equally sinister or whatever, but I feel like they're not portrayed as equally sinister. Like, imagine if there was a battle scene where, like, they killed off like, 60 angels. Like, it wouldn't happen 'cause I feel like people would be like, "Oh, no, that's bad!"

G: Yeah. Okay, I get what you mean.

C: But like, it's fine to kill off 60 demons, right? Like, demons are portrayed as "less than" angels in the show, and that's not really an aspect that I get in the book.

G: Also just the visual aspect of it, right? Like, when Aziraphale was being- I keep on thinking "crucified," but that's just just for crucifixion specifically. [laughs] You know what I mean. Aziraphale was being- what's the term? Sent to die? What's the term for that?

C: What, sentenced to death?

G: Annihilated? There's a specific term. Assassinated? It's not that. [laughs]

C: Executed?

G: When he was being executed! Like, when Aziraphale is being executed, it's a very corporate thing where it's like, "You did something bad, so now I'm punishing you. And I am pissed at you, but only because you did something real bad." But with Crowley, it's very vindictive.

C: I mean, Crowley did kill someone. [laughs] I feel like that's a more valid reason to execute someone.

G: Yeah, but like, they have all of those demons watching on the other side of the bathtub window, and it's like, that also adds a layer to what you were saying that like, "If they killed a bunch of angels, it's like, you'll go, 'Oh. Whoa.'" You know, because, like, the demons that we do see in the show, like, we see more of them, but like, as fodder, you know? We more of them, but just shouting in the background-

C: - in the background to have blood on their face and like, be menacing, or whatever. Yeah, demons are treated as a lot more disposable, and Aziraphale has this whole line about "Even demons aren't that stupid!" and also like, apparently, there's like, demons that are "practically the damned" that, like, I guess, are are treated as less than people like, 'cause of- I don't know exactly what it is. Yeah, it seems like it's like- they seem to be acting like there's a group of demons that are less intelligent than other demons, and that makes them more killable. [G: Yeah.] Which is pretty fucked up.

G: Can I also add something?

C: Yeah.

G: 'Cause I have read some of the book. 'Cause in the show, Nanny Ashtoreth is Crowley, and Brother Francis is Aziraphale. I suppose I do like it when it's not them. [C: Hm.] I like it better because then, like, having Crowley and Aziraphale talk about-

C: "Kill that kid."

G: And it's like, there, you have a more understanding version of it, because you're like, "But they're not personally connected to this child. They're, you know, they're just observing this child from the distance. It's their people who are connected to this child." I mean, I joke about it earlier, like, "Maybe Warlock just really had bad vibes because Crowley sang that kid to sleep every night for years and like, is still like, 'Okay, let's kill him.'" But like, it makes it worse from like, Crowley's perspective, that, like, they were with this kid for a long time, and still is like, "No, I don't really give a shit."

C: Yeah, it's unfortunate.

G: Also, the line in the book of like, "They would just meet occasionally in like, theaters and on tops of buses and stuff and giggle over their reports" [C: Yeah, in museum cafes.], it's soo corny! [laughs] Yeah. And it's wonderful. But yeah, I've been thinking about this. Like, we never really see Aziraphale and Crowley, be like, attached to humanity specifically. You mentioned that one line in the book where Aziraphale goes, "I mean, we should do something, 'cause there's people here," but like, even then, it's not like, a personal basis, you know? It's just that general benevolence towards humans. It's never a-

C: Yeah, part of it is him feeling responsible for having messed about and caused a lot of this to happen. But like, yeah, it's not that he likes any of them particularly.

G: You just assume it's because both of them don't interact with people- one person, you know, specifically- that much, so they don't really give a shit. But with, you know, the reveal that actually, Crowley is Nanny Ashtoreth and Aziraphale is Brother Francis, it's like, "Wait, they do interact with people, like, on a prolonged period of time," specifically, this one person, and they still do not GAF. So like, okay, well.

C: This is true. I mean, I guess, back to my Heaven and Hell equivalency point, I really wish that they had somehow kept in the paragraph where Crowley maintains that, like, most demons are fine, and they're just doing an unpleasant job like tax collectors do, and Hastur and Ligur just happen to be like, total assholes [laughs] and not representative of demons as a whole. I feel like that does not at all come across in the show, and it adds to the whole, like, "Hell is worse, and Crowley is an exception to the rule in a way that Aziraphale is but also isn't entirely." Stuff that I preferred in the show... I mean, it's nice to see David Tennant's face. [laughs] [G: That's true.] I mean, I guess, you know, the 1.03 montage/cold open doesn't happen in the book, and in some ways, I think that it's good because it allows people to form their own headcanons on like, what they were doing throughout history, but, like, on the other hand, that thing, like, reinvented cinema for all time forever, so like, [laughs] I think I still do like it better being there.

G: I mean, Good Omens the show, I don't think was ever supposed to get a Season 2. I do appreciate that, like, the book was published, what? '89.

C: 1990, I think.

G: 1990, yeah. And then, like, 2019, TV show comes out about like, the book. And then you just have this, you know, added insight into their life. And it's like, that must have been real nice for the people who like, have like, liked the book for a long time, you know?

C: Yeah, yeah, unless they're like, "This totally ruined all my headcanons and my fanfiction." [G: That's true.] I think I do like that Heaven is more involved directly in Aziraphale’s life and in surveilling him in the show even if it created some new character traits that I wish were more similar to book Aziraphale's, just 'cause I think, you know, in the book and in the show, like, Hastur and Ligur are both there to surveil Crowley, and they have, like, an active hostile presence in their life, so it helps to also have Heaven be more present in Aziraphale's, and I think it makes his faith journey better, more interesting to watch.

G: I mean, I've said it many times, but, like, I really like Aziraphale's journey of faith in Good Omens, so I think they lean more into it in the show than they do specifically in the book. [C: Yeah.] And yeah, I appreciate it. I appreciate it.

C: And I like that Anathema has a little bit more agency in how she chooses to burn the prophecies at the end of Season 1.

G: Yeah. For our second question, [C: Yeas.] this for Crystal again. So "Have you listened to the Radio drama at all, and if so, what do you think of it?" I'll answer first 'cause my answer is very short. No. [both laughing] I asked for a link once and Crystal sent it to me, and then I just never clicked on it. Yeah.

C: Yeah. Oh, you don't even know what Crowley's voice sounds like! Wait, just click on the link and listen to what Crowley's voice sounds like, please!

G: [laughing] Okay. Wait, is it in our pinned messages? God! Our pinned messages are tru- [laughing] [both laughing] Why did I pin, like, every single photo-

C: No one can ever see this.

G: of David Tennant I've ever- [laughing] [C screams] Wait, okay, it's here. I've clicked on the link. Radio Episode 1. Should I start with Episode 1?

C: Yeah, I think Crowley should show up pretty fast.

G: Is this Aziraphale?

C: Talking first?

G: Yeah. Aziraphale!! [C: Yeah.] I like the Aziraphale voice, actually.

C: Yeah, I mean, they really just need to get someone to play a gay man, and they really did.

G: Ew! Ew! Ew! [laughing] Ew!

C: [laughing] Did you get to Crowley's voice?

G: Ew! [laughs] I just heard Crowley speak-

C: How are you doing? How are you feeling? [G laughing]

G: [laughing] Ew! [both laughing]

C: You good?

G: [laughing] Stop this at once! I literally- he goes, [deep voice] "Ssso," and I just paused completely! I can't do it! Okay, I'm going to click okay now.

C: Yeah, your brain can do this.

G: Oh my god, I can't do it! [C laughing] Why is it so deep? Why is it so deep? [laughing] What the fuck? [C: Well.] What a jumpscare! [C: Well.] Jesus Christ!

C: Well, how do you feel? What do you think?

G: Why is he doing ASMR? [laughing] Why is he doing ASMR? [C laughing] I'm like- [laughing] I cannot explain the state that I'm in. I'm in shock. [C laughing] Okay, well.

C: Well, I don't know how you're gonna edit that to have it work, but anyway. [both laugh]

Yes, I have listened to the radio drama. I think it's a good, fun time. I mean, it was a bit of a shock when I first heard his voice [G: Okay.], but I got used to it. And, I mean, it's fun. Like, if there was no TV show, I feel like, and I didn't have an idea of Crowley's voice, I feel like that would make sense. Like, they're just leaning into the snake aspect with the acting, right? Like, that makes sense. Aziraphale's voice, great. They just had someone play a gay man.

G: It's wonderful, yeah.

C: Anathema's VA. Call me. [laughs] I like radio Anathema a lot. I'm not sure-

G: Is radio Anathema British? No.

C: Yeah, radio Anathema is British. [G: Yeah, okay.] I mean, I love Anathema's American accent in the show, and I also love her British thing in the radio. [G: Yeah.] I think the radio play is really fun, 'cause it's like, you can sort of see the seams of like, where they tried hard to like, adapt the narration into a radio format because they don't have God or anything.

G: Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, that's why I asked, like, "How long will I have to skip?" Because I thought there would be a God thing.

C: Oh, no. No God. In order to like, introduce Crowley, it's like, Ligur and Hastur and hanging around the cemetery, and like, Hastur's like, "Pop quiz. Do you know what Crowley used to call himself?" [laughing] Like, so true. That is how you do exposition.

G: [laughing] You do a pop question about every character that shows on screen.

C: Yeah. I think, right, this is the adaptation that introduced the idea of Crowley being Nanny Ashtoreth and Aziraphale being Brother Francis. Yeah, you said that you didn't really like, but I mean, I think it's fun, most of the time, so.

G: I mean, it is fun. It is fun.

C: Yeah, but it's fun-ish, but also, I don't know. I think it does work better without that. I think that there are some iconic moments. Like, I think, the way that this Crowley delivers, "Nice dress. Suits you," like, good job. They have in fucking raw in the street every day. [G: Yeah.] I don't know. Other fun moments... when the paintball fight happens, and Crowley's like, "Oh my god, Aziraphale, you actually have blue blood?" : So yeah, I don't know. It's a fun time. I enjoyed it. It's been a while since I've listened to it, and I think I've only like, listened to it like, three times, so I should probably revisit it sometime. But yeah. I guess what I think about it is that it is fun.

G: Okay. I've been convinced. I'll listen to it.

C: Alright. Cool! Good luck with Crowley's voice. [laughs]

G: Thank you. [laughs]

C: Okay, the next question is from my friend Ansel, and he asks, "If you could change just one thing about Good Omens Season 2, what would it be?" The difficult part of this question being the "one" part, [laughs] not the rest of it.

G: Yeah. You know what? I'll just change Maggie and Nina. I don't know. Something else.

C: As in remove?

G: Maybe it's still them, but like, just changed. I don't know if I- 'cause the thing is like, changing Maggie and Nina, they're such a big part of this fucking season, so like, if we're talking one thing in the broadest term, I'll say Maggie and Nina. But like, if we're talking like, one specific thing, like, I don't know. The whole thing is a fucking mess.

C: Okay, yeah, I read it as more of like, one specific thing, and I feel like what like, really ended up frustrating me in the end is just like, the lack of stakes in terms of them not giving a fuck about how Shax was gonna raid the bookshop, and then, like, the Book of Life threat just going nowhere, and like, Crowley not even caring about it.

G: After Episode 11, you said one thing to me that I was like, "Yeah! That's true!" Which is that if they just had a throwaway line after the demons like, threw in that rock into the window, where Aziraphale goes, "Oh, I didn't think they'd actually go through with it." and Crowley's like, "Wait. You knew about this?" and Aziraphale's like, "Yeah, they told me." [C laughs] And then Crowley's like, "Yeah, I mean, that's fine. They also told me." And it's like, yeah. They just didn't think it would go this far.

C: Yeah, both of them are just like, "Oh yeah, I didn't think they were gonna actually do anything. I thought Shax was full of shit." That would help a lot. I think on the other end of it, it's like, if they had them be a bit worried- like, I think if it was just like- if we just got a brief scene after, like, Shax came by and threatened to declare war on Aziraphale where like, Crowley was like, checking the protections of the bookshop around the door, or like, was drawing- Oh, yeah, I think I was thinking about, like, Crowley could have hidden like, a sigil thing or something in the bookshop after like, Shax came and told them about how she was going to declare war on Aziraphale, and if that was the thing instead of the halo that, like, set off a bunch of alarms, I feel like it would help with the "Crowley doesn't give a fuck" issue and with the halo, it's such a- Oh god! I forgot how to pronounce it. [both] Deus ex machina. Ex machina? Ex machina? [G: Yeah.] Yeah, I feel like that would solve two issues that I have with the season. [G: Wow.] So that is a possibility. Yeah, another thing that I would also take is the thing that you said during or 12.1 recording- or 12.2? Yeah, 12.2. Where it's just like, if Crowley was standing next to Aziraphale during the Book of Life threat and also looked very scared, and like, they were like, on the verge of action or something before the Metatron came in, that would also help a lot with how frustrated I was with the last two episodes.

-

G: Okay, our next section of the Q&A is like, stuff about like, Good Omens like, fandom/playing with canon, you know?

C: Headcanons and such.

G: Predictions, even. So our first question is- Oh my god! [both laugh] So this is from anonymous. It goes, "sorry if this has been asked or answered before"- Never be sorry about asking us a question that may or may not have been answered before, because we will probably answer it again and just say the exact same thing with as much enthusiasm.

C: Yeah, we'll come up with new shit.

G: Yeah! [laughs] "- but do you subscribe to any of the theories that there was 'more' going on in the final fifteen? [C laughs] coffee theory, the Metatron was listening so they’re doing elaborate kayfabe, crowley stopped time and they were able to talk before he left the shop? i see why people can see evidence for some of them, but i think i settle on this always being the way the conversation was going to go, in terms of results at least if not the exact words. aziraphale was always eventually going to go where crowley couldn’t follow, he still hasn’t let go of the idea of being part of heaven. and i think maybe the emotional integrity of the conversation depends on there not being a lot of other trickery going on?" You're so correct.

C: Yeah. Correct. Yeah. Yeah.

G: I looked- I mean, I was reading this, and I was like, "I don't even know what the kayfabe means." So I looked that up, and I was like, "Okay, that's weird that people think that." And then I looked up "coffee theory good omens" on Tumblr [C laughing], and I was filled with rage that I had to click out. And then, yeah. I didn't bother searching up the others because I mean, they're pretty easy to figure out.

C: I mean, I don't wanna be mean about it, but also, I do hate it so much.

G: I don't wanna be mean about it, but it seems to be like, it originated from like, one person or one group of people. So I don't want to be like, "And they're all stupid." [both laugh]

C: Yeah, [laughing] but also, what if I do wanna be like that? But I don't. But I don't. I just- okay. If this is- I don't know how mean this is gonna come off. I think that this is what happens when, instead of spending like, a good time on Adam and on actually like, doing your themes in 1.06, you waste a bunch of time on an elaborate fake-out bodyswap thing that doesn't really make sense when you like, look at it very closely and was never in the book. I think you start getting people, like, expecting there to be [G: Fake-outs like that, yeah.] trickery and stuff like, at the end of Season 2 as well, which I just- I don't think is happening. And like, I don't know. This is like, the shit that you get with like, the Sherlock Fandom, and TJLC too, right? Like, the writers like, pull one thing over on you, and you're like, "Oh my god, they must be so smart. They must have stuff up their sleeve like, all the time, and like, there must always be something going on underneath the surface," but it's probably just like, they came up with one idea and thought it would be fun, and like, don't actually intend on doing a plot twist every single time. They've just like, created an expectation for it. And then, like, that's just what happens. I blame Neil Gaiman for this mostly. I think it's- I just don't like the headcanon. I think that anything that lessens the emotional impact of the final fifteen, I'm not particularly a fan of, because I feel like it relies on people being like, "Oh, but like, Aziraphale wouldn't really do that," or "Crowley wouldn't really do that, 'cause they're like, so in love." But it's like, they do have other shit going on, and they do have problems in their lives, and like, that is the point of the final fifteen, is to be like, yeah. Like, they- yeah. Yeah, Aziraphale still hasn't gotten over his connection to Heaven, and it just- I don't know. I just don't subscribe to anything that- yeah, I mean, I already said everything. Just anything that cheapens the emotional impact.

G: Yeah. I think for me, I mean, two things. One is that this made me realize that people- I mean, not made me realize. I knew this already. But like, people really do watch things differently. Like, 'cause for me, the big part of why I love Aziraphale is the, you know, the faith journey of it all. So Aziraphale entangling himself with his faith in this way is like, something that appeals to me. But like, I suppose if it's not something that appeals to you, you'd be like, "Well, I don't like it. Let's make it be not that." And it's like, "Okay, fine." [C laughs] Another one is that I think the reason why- I mean, the way I said it is just like, "I looked it up, and I was just like, so mad." [both laugh] And a big part of it is that you're saying two things with this kind of stuff which is that, 1) You think Aziraphale did the wrong thing, and 2) You don't even think that Aziraphale is capable of doing the wrong thing. Like, there must be a reason why he did the wrong thing that isn't because he's wrong. We know how I feel about the "Aziraphale is wrong" situation which is that I think it remains to be seen. My opinion on whether Aziraphale can do no wrong or not is that well, he should be able to. I mean, isn't the point that, like, I don't know. Free will? Part of having free will is, you know, making mistakes. That's just how it goes. I mean, it's so stupid to say that like, "Oh, agency, blah blah blah." Like, none of these people- none of these characters have agency. They're characters being written in a story. But it does frustrate me because, I mean, I've had experiences in my life where when I tell people how I have dealt with, you know, my faith, and they have reacted in a "Oh, you're like, being brainwashed," [laughs] you know? [C: Aw. Yeah.] And it's like, I think I'm a completely reasonable person when it comes to my faith. It's been a super long journey for me. People tend to hear it and then reduce it instantly to like, "Oh, but like, you know, your religion hates gay people, and you're gay, so like, what's up with that?" And it's like, a lot of things are more complicated than, you know, those very simple statements. I see Aziraphale also as more complicated than the statement "He wouldn't do that because" and whatever comes after that, you know. And I feel like sometimes, you- I mean, there are times when a story is written, and you're like, "Okay, that's written bad." But there are times when you have to also look at the story and go, "Okay, maybe I don't agree initially, but let's interface with it in a way where I'm trying to understand what it's trying to tell me." 'Cause I feel like that's kind of the missing part in a lot of how we look at things now. It's like, what I get from it is different from what it's trying to tell me. And it's like, even if what the story is trying to say, you don't want to hear, well, it's still the thing that it's telling you. [C: Mm-hm.] I feel very fiercely protective of Aziraphale's character and character's decisions. So yea. I mean, it's a big reason, again, why I have mostly stayed out of Tumblr, specifically, circles of Good Omens. Because, I mean, with AO3, you can filter to hell and back. [C: Yeah.] Like, "I don't like this, I don't-" But like, with, you know, those more scrolling-scrolling stuff, it's harder to do.

C: I didn't even bring up coffee theory in the recording. Like, I'll bring up things that other people have like, interpreted, even if I don't agree with them just as talking points, [both laughing] but coffee theory just doesn't deserve the time of day.

G: I mean the "Metatron was listening so they're doing elaborate kayfabe," like, you're insane. [both laugh] I'm sorry. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you doing? Did you really look at Crowley's face in that scene and went, "Oh, yeah, they're doing a very heightened production of this situation."

C: I mean, the Metatron came in, and he expected them to have a giant blowout crying fight ending in a kiss. [G laughs] Like, you're right. They were like, "What would the Metatron want to see? What would he expect?" And they were like, "That one? Let's do that one." [laughs]

G: I mean for the Crowley stopped time, I just- I don't think it's true that they were able to talk before he left the shop, but-

C: I think the reasoning for that is because of, probably, the clock ticking sound. 'Cause like, when it's absent and when it's happening, people are probably like, "Well, why is the sound gone? Does it indicate something about time?" Which I think is like, a reasonable thing to think, but I feel like it was just like, for the effects of it.

G: It's reasonable. And I mean, I've talked about how like, that scene where they were like, looking at each other before Aziraphale steps into that elevator is like, slowed down. It's in slow-mo. [C: Right.] I was thinking of that, and I was thinking of this, and I was like, "But never in a million years would I have been like, 'And that's because Crowley has stopped time so they can talk before Aziraphale steps in that elevator.'"

C: Yeah, I don't think so.

G: I just don't think it's true. Yeah. And like, again, if there is evidence of this, fine. But I feel of this the exact same way I feel about Raphael, which is that, "Okay. There's evidence, okay. If it does happen, okay, I hate it, though. [C laughing] Like, I still hate it. Like, I still think it's stupid." You know? [C: Yeah. Yeah.] I still think it defeats the purpose.

C: Yeah. Oh, also, I feel like in our previous recordings, it seemed like I was like, "Yeah, he probably is doing Raphael!Crowley. Ugh." But actually, I've changed my mind. I don't think he is. [laughs] I don't think it's happening. I think Crowley was just higher-ranking, and that's it.

G: I mean, I really doubt that it would be Raphael specifically, but if it does play that Crowley is a higher-ranking angel, I'm like, okay, fine, fine.

C: Yeah, I don't even think Crowley is an archangel. I think Crowley was just like, bit higher than Aziraphale.

G: Yeah. But also, I feel like Crowley's a bit of a "thinks she's more important than she is." [both laugh] Like, "Oh, I didn't work on the plans, but like, we really worked close for this one!" [C, laughing: That's true!] And then, like, gets fired a year later. [both laugh] Like, okay, go Crowley!

C: For real. For realsies.

G: That shit is so funny.

C: "Yeah, like I worked really closely with upstairs on it," and it was just like, God accidentally, like, cc-ing Crowley on an email.

G: For real. Oh, our next question is actually from poprockringpop, but [laughs] for some reason, I wrote-

C: [laughing] You wrote "popcockringpop."

G: - for our questionnaire. [both laugh] No, but the thing is, every time I read this username- amazing username, by the way. poprockringpop. I read it as popcockringpop, which, you know, if you want to change your username up, spice it up a little bit [C laughs], that's a very viable option for you, poprockringpop. [C: Mm.] But the question is, "I think we all have thoughts about how our ethereal faves, as characters, would or should reconcile." First of all, Crowley is occult. [C laughs] Put respect on Crowley's name [both laughing] as an occult being. "but what’s your best guess for how Neil will have them start out season 3 and make their way back to each other, hug, and then do it in the street?" [C: Real!] Why are you not brave enough to say "fuck it raw in street"? But for fucking real though. "I keep thinking it’ll be more lighthearted than we’re all imagining but tbh I have no idea."

C: I mean, what I want and what I think will happen are quite different. [G: Yeah.] I have difficulty imagining what it will be. I feel like they're gonna be forced together by plot circumstances around Episode 3, and I feel like- I don't know, I think they'll probably form a begrudging ally thing.

G: I don't think they're going to reconcile immediately. Yeah, exactly.

C: I think they're gonna cross their arms and huff at each other and like, snipe at each other. Like, it's gonna be like, like, a divorcees vibe.

G: Yeah, it's going to be Season 15, Episode 9 of Supernatural: "The Trap." Is that what it's called? Or is it "The Rupture"? Is it "The Rupture"?

C: No, it's "The Trap." "The Rupture"'s the one Rowena dies in.

G: [laughing] And then "The Rapture" is in Season 4. Okay, yeah.

C: Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about, [G: Of course you don't.] because I only know about the apology.

G: There's the prayer in that one. Ahhh! The one where Dean kneels.

C: Yeah. But like, what do you mean it's gonna be like Season 15, Episode 9? Oh, do they bitch at each other a lot first?

G: Yes, very much so. They're mad at each other. I mean, the entire season from Episode 3 to Episode 9, they're mad at each other, and they're just like, you know, fighting and bickering and all that. And then Episode 9 is the one where they're actually forced together to like, do something because the other times it's like, they break up, Dean calls, you know, stuff like that. So they're fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting, and then Cas gets like, [laughs] kidnapped by some guy or whatever. I mean, they're in Purgatory for this one. And then, at the Dean, at a moment of fear-

C: Yeah, does the apology prayer.

G: - "maybe Cas is gone for good," just kneels and prays. [C: Uh-huh. Yeah.] Well! [laughs] It's Crover!

C: Okay, right, they're gonna bicker a lot. Every fic where it's like [laughs], "Crowley sells a book out of spite, and that forces Aziraphale down to Earth to yell at her and that's the first time they've talked since the end of Season 2" is wonderful. That should happen. I don't think it's gonna happen, though.

G: I think it's going to be funny, is what it is. Like, that may as well happen. I think- I mean, I think it would be funny. 'Cause, I mean, Good Omens purports to be a funny show.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Purports to be indeed. [G laughs]

G: I mean, Season 1 was funny. Season 2, not so much.

C: Season 1 was sometimes funny. I feel like after the plot stuff ends- I think Neil Gaiman is corny as hell in a bad way. [G laughs] I feel like they're probably just gonna go to the Ritz, and then like, kiss, and like, not talk about anything. That's what I think it is.

G: The thing is, I would like a nice quiet moment between them, just like the bench before the bus ride in Season 1.

C: Yeah, that would be nice.

G: Or you know, something akin to the morning confession. I'm still stuck on the fact that that thing happened in the morning. [C laughs] Like,I think about it sometimes, and I'm like, "Oh my god! It happened in the morning." It would be nice if their reconciliation happened in Crowley's flat. Do you think that's a weird thing to say?

C: [laughing] Why would it be a weird thing to say?

G: I don't know! [laughs] Yeah, they should reconcile in Crowley's flat so they have a bed to fuck in.

C: They should reconcile in Crowley's flat. [laughs] But like- no, yeah, I mean, you mean just because, like, the bookshop was the site of the last divorce, so it's good for them to reconcile it like, a place that isn't-

G: No, I think it depends on what the reconciliation is going to be like, which again, as I've said many times, is still up in the air regarding how Season 3 pans out. But, I don't know. I feel like a lot of the confession, even though we frequently talk about it from, you know, Crowley's terms, like, a lot of it was like, Aziraphale asking for something, and then Crowley denying. Because, I mean, even Crowley's confession, because of how the conversation went, even though it was the initial intention to confess already, it became like, more a response, then, to Aziraphale’s ask. So like, do you understand? Like, we're at Aziraphale’s home base.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: And like, I think it would be interesting to do a conversation where it's Crowley's home base and therefore, Crowley's conversation. And I think- you know. I mean, I'm not even saying that I want it to happen in Crowley flat. Like, that's just kind of like a- I want it to be like, Crowley's. [C: Yeah.] I don't know what I'm saying. You get it, though. Just like basketball.

C: Yeah. Well, perhaps it can happen in the Bentley.

G: Oh god! [laughs] Yeah, it could! It could happen in the Bentley! Oh god! That's miserable.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, god, do you think Neil Gaiman's gonna make one of them do the fucking apology dance? I don't want it. I don't want it. I hope it's dead and gone.

G: I don't want it. Keep your divorce out of this show, Neil Gaiman. [both laughing] Is that so mean? Should I cut that out? It's funny.

C: No, it's literally- Everyone was thinking it. Or at least everyone, meaning me, was thinking it. [G laughing]

C: Right, another anon asked, "Question for the Q&A: have you guys seen and/or how do you feel about various disabled!Crowley headcanons?" I haven't, really. Sorry, I haven't seen many.

G: I did a quick scroll through AO3, and most of it is alternate universe, which I do have [C: Dislike.] X-ed out most of the time. [C: Yeah.] So that's probably why I haven't seen a lot of it, but I have read a fic where, when they do the bodyswap - so this is like, you know, Good Omens universe - when they do the bodyswap, Aziraphale goes, "Why are your shoulders lopsided?" And Crowley's like, "That's not true. That's a lie, you're lying to me." And Aziraphale’s like, "Yeah, it is." And I don't know. I like that. Go scoliosis queen! Other than that, I don't really- I haven't really seen a lot of it. But, you know. I think it's wonderful. [laughs] I think it's wonderful to be able to project that onto fictional characters. I think it's wonderful specifically for Aziraphale and Crowley who are ethereal and occult being to have to be like, "Yeah, they're, you know, they're immortal, blah blah blah, and they, you know, still experience-" for example, chronic pain, or, you know, other kinds of disabilities. One of my favorite things I have ever done in fandom is write a Cas psoriasis fic. I found that very- I don't know. It was very nice. It was very nice for meto do it. And then, when I put that fic out into the universe, like, so many people, were like, you know, saying like, "Oh, this is so wonderful! I also have some semblance of a skin disease," whether it's psoriasis or otherwise, "and the scenes presented in this fic, like, really touched me." [C: Yeah.] It's, you know, I feel like disabilities still are one of those things where people are uncomfortable to interact with it in a positive way because the implication is always like, "But like, why would I do that when it's a cause of suffering?" or whatever. And it's like, but it's also like, a part of my life, though. You know? [C: Yeah.] So like, for me, I think I have- even though it sucks, and I know it sucks- like, I have to be able to deal with it in some semblance of a positive way of channeling that through headcanons or fanfiction. I'm sure it like, helps a lot of people, so, including, you know, the people making it and the people consuming it. So, wonderful! I think it's wonderful.

C: Yeah. Next question from another anon, "If Crowley and Aziraphale had been played by female actors, how differently do you think the fandom would’ve responded to their characters? For instance, do you think certain character choices would be more harshly scrutinized or that they’d be a less popular pairing?" Yeah.

G: This is such an interesting question.

C: It's a good question.

G: When I read that I was like- I've been thinking about it since it's been sent in, and I still don't really know how to answer it. What do you- I mean, you just said "Yeah," immediately.

C: Yeah, I think so.

G: For both? You think both is true? For me, I think it depends. Harshly scrutinized- If Good Omens book is Aziraphale as it is, and like, Aziraphale and Crowley in the book are seen as men, I think Good Omens the TV show Aziraphale and Crowley would be more harshly scrutinized than the book. For a less popular pairing, perhaps, if it was like, the book Aziraphale and Crowley are seen as men and then played by female actors, I think maybe it would garner some more attraction. To people like me, I mean, [laughs] I don't know to other people, but I would have definitely watched it earlier. [C: That's true.] But I don't know. I think if it was like, they were female-presenting in the books and then female-presenting in the show also, it would be definitely less popular, I think, to the point where there wouldn't even be a TV show at all.

C: Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Which is highly unfortunate.

G: Unfortunate. And also, I mean, we've talked about this- well, in passing, we have like, one line about it in, I think it was like, in 1.06 where I go, "I know Neil Gaiman wrote Aziraphale and Crowley thinking of them as men in his head because he wrote them like people." [C: Yeah.] And you look at all the other women he's written, and they're not written like people. So I don't know.

C: Though I feel like it would mostly be okay with these two characters, because he already like, wrote them out. I think if the script is close enough to the book that I don't think he would add in like, shitty things after he decided he was gonna cast two women

G: No, I'm talking mostly about if the book itself was different. [C: Oh, okay, right.] Like, original way of writing Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens book, thinking of them as women. I think it would be completely different than the book as it is right now.

C: Yeah, I think the jokes made would be quite annoying to look at.

G: Definitely.

C: I feel like the fandom reaction, I feel like they were cast as Aziraphale as like, a lot- like, as motherly, which, like, I don't think he is at all as a character.

G: Yeah, definitely not.

C: And that would be pretty irritating to see.

G: You know how like, when there's literally any woman who's hot, [C laughs] and then people don't like, engage with the woman character as a character.

C: Yeah, and they just make fancams? Yeah.

G: Yeah, and they just go like, "Step on me, mommy," or whatever.

C: Yeah, that's what Crowley would become.

G: That's what Crowley would become, definitely. [laughing] Even thinking about it is filling me with so much rage, but yeah.

C: Yeah. I feel like Aziraphale’s faith journey, people would be more predisposed to call him brainwashed, so yeah, I guess that's more harsh scrutinization.

G: They would definitely go like, "Oh, they're like, I don't know, you know, those lesbians who can't talk to each other." Fucking- [laughing]

C: Oh, right, like, "useless lesbians"? That thing? [G: Yes.] Right. The approach to them and like, Adam and Warlock. [G: Hm!]I don't know. There's gonna be posts that are like, "It's so important that Good Omens said that women can want to kill children." [both laughing] That's what I perceive.

G: For fucking real. "It's feminist that they want to shoot that kid." [both laughing] Well, maybe it is!

C: Yeah. Right, I feel like for Aziraphale, they would vary between calling her like, motherly and stuff and calling her like, a girlboss [laughs] because she's a business owner and an entrepreneur. [G laughing] And yeah, I mean- the interpretations of their characters would just be a lot more flat. I feel like people would like- Yeah, I feel like people would still ship them, but like, less people would watch the show at all. [G: Yeah.] Their dynamic is already- like, people already sort of impose weird gender norms on their dynamics in fic already, I feel like it's gonna be worse if they're women because of the flattening of their characters that would occur. It would indeed be worse, and that would be sad. Though, I mean, I guess there's also the fact that you're right that probably a different audience would come in if they were both played by actresses, and that could change how the fandom reacts to them. 'Cause I'm just thinking about the current fandom and not like, the imaginary other fandom that would happen. And like, I don't know. I feel like there's- there's enough- The thing is, we sort of- we have femslash Aziraphale and Crowley.

G: I mean, I don't know what the hell Good Omens fandom is like, first of all, but I don't know why I'm saying "yeah" to all of this, [C laughs] but yeah, go on.

C: We have femslash Aziraphale and Crowley on the AO3. And they're great.

G: Oh yeah, of course. I mean, I've read pretty much all of it, yeah.

C: They're usually great. But it's like, is that- I do wonder if- I feel like for some people, that depth of character for femslash Aziraphale and Crowley was more easily accessible because they were men first, but I feel like not everyone is like that. I feel like people would be better at interpreting them- like, for a few people, and if that is the audience that is being drawn in via this casting like, maybe it would, in fact, be a wonderful place to be, and there would be none of the issues we said. Yeah, but if it was like, at the level of Tumblr popularity that it is now, and they were both women, it would be pretty bad.

G: Yeah, unbearable. Yeah.

C: If it was like, niche as a result of them both being women, I think it could be- it could be nice.

G: Yeah. But isn't it so frustrating to think, "Oh, if they're both women, it would be niche"?

C: Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] It is pretty frustrating.

I mean, I guess I also wonder what their outfits would be if they were both women.

G: Yes, I do also. Like, what would Crowley's look be like?

C: We've seen them style women in Good Omens, and like, it's pretty great. Like, their outfits are all great, so.

G: No, but like, we're talking like, Aziraphale and Crowley.

C: Yeah, if it was Supernatural, I would have like, so much fear about like, how they were just gonna give Crowley a-

G: No, not even thinking of that. Not even thinking of that. The common question too, when you're reading lesbian Aziraphale and Crowley fanfiction,which is like, "How are they going to play with the gender presentation in this one?" And like, I feel like that is a very interesting thing to ask about Aziraphale and Crowley, especially if we are to assume that the book is written as they're both male-presenting.

C: Yeah, that's what I'm assuming.

G: 'Cause like, you know, like, Aziraphale is all often portrayed as like, you know, gay, [C: Mm-hm.] and like, obviously so. And it's like, "Okay, so how do we translate that to a woman?" A female presenting person. How do we do that?

C: I believe in like, butch Aziraphale rights, but I don't know if that is how they would adapt it.

G: For our next question, it's from our wonderful friend Wanni. "for the Q&A"-

C: Yeah. Hii!

G: Hi! "first of all love you both <3."

C: Heart emoji back.

G: "for my question if you could put az ( sorry still can’t spell his name ) [C: Real.] and crowley in any fictional universe what would it be?" Wonderful question. Can I put them in the fictional universe of Manila, Philippines? [both laughing] I think it'd be wonderful.

C: I was literally gonna be like, "the fictional universe of my life." [G laughs]

G: Literally. The fictional universe of the street where I frequent, yeah. [C laughs]

C: I mean, obviously, they should do a Much Ado About Nothing AU at some point, [G: Oh, of course, yeah.] but I don't think that's like, the best answer.

G: I don't think it's a one-to-one thing, though, for Much Ado. Like, who's who? We've had this conversation before? Let's have it again 'cause I forgot what I said.

C: Aziraphale is Benedick.

G: Why did I say that? Did I say that, or did you say that?

C: You said it in 1.04 because I was talking about how, after he hears that from the Metatron, he decides he can't be a part of this any more, and it's similar to Benedick quitting Don Pedro's company after the shaming Hero shit.

G: I think I said at some point to you that I want Crowley to go, "Alas, poor heart." So I want Crowley to be Beatrice.

C: Mm-hm. Though I guess in this case, Hero is like, the Earth, [both laugh] so like, I don't know how that's gonna play out.

G: Yeah, no, I also don't know. The thing about Aziraphale and Crowley is like, they're barely enemies to lovers. Like, they're not. They're not. They're begrudging co-workers to- I mean, I've said this before, but like, Aziraphale and Crowley is not like, "don't fuck your coworker," it's "do not start a business with your love interest." [both laugh] And yeah. We should do a Succession AU [C laughing]. It's literally not Succession at all, they're just two normal people who start a business together. [laughs]

C: I think there are other shows about that, but none that I can think of.

G: I mean, in Fleabag, they start a business together, and then the best friend kills herself, right?

C: That's true, but not for the business-starting reasons. And not on purpose.

G: Not on purpose, yeah.

C: Neither- they can't do Fleabag because I feel like it would be too Crowley-centric to have them be like, the only narrator.

G: Yeah, there's a lot of vampire fics on the AO3s for them. Usually, it's Crowley as the vampire. I think Aziraphale would be the vampire, though. I think that'll be more fun. It's more fun! Or maybe they're both vampires, and they're just, you know, annoyed at each other, which is also possible. You know, when I was first brainstorming about this, I thought to myself initially that like, it's essential that they're in a universe where they're immortal in some way, because, like, I think a big part of their relationship- it's not even the fact that they're an angel and a demon, and have [overlapping] nothing whatsoever in common!

C: "I don't even like you!" [G laughs] Yeah.

G: Yeah. It's about the fact that they always think that there's next time, and I think that's what shapes the relationship the most, the "next time." "One day." And like, I mean, I'm softened up to the idea of them not being immortal, with that in mind, because I feel like I thought I was thinking of it in a like, comparing and contrasting 6000 years versus normal human life span of 60 to 70 or 80 years, but now that I think about it, I feel like it does happen in life, too. Like, you and me. You know? Us people. We do still tend to think, "Okay, maybe next time." Like, we always still tend to think that we have more time than we actually do. [C: Mm-hm.] So I think it's it's reasonable to put them in a timeline where they're bound to die.

C: And then, I mean, I guess the obvious crossover is Supernatural, but like-

G: Booo!

C: - the way Sam and Dean fling holy water around, like, Crowley would be gone like, first episode, so let's keep her out of there.

G: Yeah. I do not want them near Aziraphale and/or Crowley

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. It would be fun if Aziraphale and Crowley killed them [laughs], but like, I don't think it's gonna happen.

G: The whole time, Dean would be like, "Okay, Cr-ow-ley." [C laughs] And Crowley is like, "It's Crowley!" I also want them to be in the fictional universe of a 7-11. I've been saying this. They need to be like, in a 7-11.

C: They should be in a Costco. The ceilings are really really tall.

G: Yeah, there's like, beams and shit, yeah.

C: They should fly around in the rafters of a Costco. [both laugh]

G: Exactly. There's like, giant like, air stuff in there. You know, those giant like- you know what I mean? It's like, the air conditioning is like, giant pipes. [C: Oh, yeah.] They should fly inside of those pipes. [C: Yeah.] They should sit on the corner of a pipe and just like, look down at the people

C: They should.

G: Ohh! I've been thinking about what it would be like for Aziraphale and Crowley to grocery shop. They would be the most annoying couple in the grocery store. And 'tis be the truth.

C: I mean, neither of them have cooked a day in their life also.

G: Yeah. But like, Aziraphale's like, "What if we make a charcuterie board?" [both laugh] And then they're in the fucking cheese section for six hours, and then a worker comes in and is like, "Um, we're closing." [laughing] And Aziraphale's like, [C laughing] "Crowley stop the time so we can have more time to choose the cheese."

C: For real and actual.

-

G: Our next question, two-parter. Two-parter. It's a duo. It's a group of the two of them. [both laugh] And the first one is from anonymous, and it goes, "Oh I would LOVE to hear that Destiel vs A/C comparison/debate," which is something we mentioned in, I think, Episode 11. If you don't know, after our episode ends, after the music stuff at the end, we have like, extra stuff. We just talk some more. And we talk about it in there. And, you know, they requested it for the Q&A. And then the other part of this question is from another anon, "Age old question-"

C: Wait, we're doing those together? They're very different.

G: No no no, I'm just connecting them together. [C: Okay. Okay.] So the age-old question for the Q&A is "Aziraphale or Castiel?" So first, let's do the Destiel vs Aziraphale and Crowley.

C: Okay, Aziraphale and Crowley, I'm on their side, and you're on fucking Destiel's side, I'm assuming.

G: [laughing] I'm on Destiel. Well, it's not that-

C: Well, okay, try to defend yourself. Just try.

G: Shhhh! [C laughs] It's not a debate, more like, you insist that-

C: They're not best friends, and they aren't.

G: - [laughing] Okay, maybe it's a debate. Yeah, like, if you were to say, "Oh, Aziraphale and Crowley are better than Destiel," I'm like, "Okay, that's fine." And you're like, "Aziraphale and Crowley is better than Destiel 'cause Destiel aren't even best friends!"

C: And they aren't.

G: - and I will fight you to the death. [C laughs]

C: And they aren't.

G: They literally are best friends, though!

C: Why?

G: "You're my best friend, but I just let you go, but it was easier than admitting that I was wrong."

C: Okay, like, he said that. So what? Does he even know what friendship is? I don't think so. [G laughing]

G: Who cares?

C: People can just say things. It doesn't mean anything.

G: Who cares? Who- Love represents itself in different ways for different people; we all know this; we all like, can we conceptualize this.

C: Do they respect each other?

G: Why cannot we conceptualize this for best friendship? It's different for everyone. It's different for everyone.

C: Do they respect each other? Does Dean respect Castiel? Does the "Your Dog" AMV that you yourself made indicate that Dean respects Castiel? [both laughing]

G: Season 15 changes the deal! That AMV ends- the last scene is from Season 15, Episode 3. But the show does go out of its way to go "But Dean is trying to be better. We will proceed-"

C: Is he trying to be better by pressuring Castiel's son into sacrificing his life to like, do that Adam and Seraphina thing, also by like, saying Jack isn't part of their family? [G laughs] Is that Dean trying for his best friend? [G laughs]

G: That's separate! You have to sequester that shit!

C: They're not separate! They're not separate!

G: No, yeah, I know.

C: A lot of their relationship ruptures because of Jack. Dean was gonna fucking kill that kid!

G: Yeah. [laughs] But that's a different question. The question isn't "Do they treat each other right?" The question is, "Are they best friends?" And you know what? You can have a toxic best friendship with someone.

C: Okay, fine. Okay, you think that they're best friends, but they don't treat each other well, [G laughs] and Dean tries to kill Cas's kid at every opportunity. But you think they are still best friends?

G: Yes.

C: It's different from like, your closest friend! [laughs] It's not the same thing.

G: Of course it's not the same.

C: Yeah, I know. And okay, I guess your point is that their lives are intertwined enough that you would call them best friends? Are their lives that intertwined?

G: Yes.

C: Like, are they? Like, why?

G: [laughing] What do you mean "why"?

C: Or, why do you claim that?

G: Why do I claim that their lives are intertwined? Because it is!

C: Uh-huh. And?

G: They're a family, etc etc! "Lebanon," Season 14, Episode 14, I think.

C: Yeah, I guess "Cas was like our third brother" is what he says. [G laughs] Is that what he says?

G: Which is- Cas is the third brother of the show. [both laugh] Words will come out of those guys' mouths. No, but the thing is- this isn't a discussion of Destiel vs A/C now.

C: Aziraphale and Crowley are better best friends than Destiel. We can do that.

G: No, here's my thing. Here's my thing, right? Aziraphale and Crowley are able to exist in both high-pressure situations and low-pressure situations. Like, they experience those like, harsh highs and lows of life, but they also get to like, just show up into each other's spaces, hang out, not a care in the world, you know, etc etc.

C: Hm-hm. Which is important to best friendship.

G: Yeah. And with Dean and Castiel, you cannot hold it against them that they're never given a break. They make do with what they have. You cannot compare Dean and Castiel's relationship to the normal best friendship of-

C: [laughing] The normal best friendships of the 6000-year-old-

G: - the ones that you have or that I have.

C: - angel and demon in Good Omens?

G: No, yeah! Exactly! You cannot compare them to those relationships because those relationships have room to breathe.

C: Not really in the present-day actual whatever. The only time they've sat together-

G: It does! They have four years! Four years hanging out!

C: Yeah, but we didn't see it. I'm talking about stuff we see. Like, I mean, off-screen, we know that Dean have watched movies together, whatever.

G: Well then, they're not best friends then! [laughing] If we're just talking entirely of the shit we see on screen! What's your proof, then, that Aziraphale and Crowley-

C: We see bookshop drunk scene! Bookshop drunk scene is everything! It's the most important thing that's ever happened!

G: Booo!

C: We see Rome. We see him inviting Crowley to have oysters with him in Rome. That's best friendship, like, budding best friendship.

G: Yeah! And, okay, the Rome scene, I've talked about this in my own personal life, [C laughs] but, like, the whole point of the Rome scene, is like, that's one of the few moments in their life that they're not both in there for a job against each other, and like, Aziraphale is like, literally just hanging out. So they're able to have that fun banter-

C: They don't have jobs against each other on-screen that often. Like, what times in the flashback were they directly opposing each other besides Wessex?

G: No, listen to me first!

C: [laughs] Okay! Okay!

G: [laughing] Listen to me- So in that scene, they're not opposing each other, and also, there's no other issue at hand. And then that scene, like, you see that Aziraphale is so bright and so happy about seeing Crowley, etc etc, 'cause like, it is just an opportunity for them to hang out. And like, do you not think that if Dean and Castiel just had an opportunity to hang out, like, that they wouldn't?

C: No, I don't think they would. [laughs]

G: Well, that's on you. That's not on me. That's on you, [C laughing] and that's not on Destiel; that's on you. Booo!

C: No, it's on Destiel being the worse ship.

G: Boo! Boo!

C: It's about Destiel being the worse one.

G: Boo! Boo!

C: Were they best friends for 6000 years? I don't think so.

G: What, were you best friends with your best friend for 6000 years? Fuck off!

C: I just think that- okay, how long were- First off, Destiel were never best friends. [G laughs] How long do you claim they were best friends?

G: I think they were best friends since...

C: Season 8?

G: Season 12.

C: 12. Okay. [G laughs] Yeah.

G: So three years. Yeah.

C: Okay, that's nothing!

G: Yeah, but it's everything to me.

C: Well, it's nothing to me. And it's nothing to them. [both laughing]

G: It's literally not nothing.

C: I mean, not to just- I know that this is just bad writing, but like, he sure got over it really fast, didn't he?

G: You can't count that in. That's unfair. You can't count that in.

C: I mean, okay. So okay, then, you can't count that in-

G: Crowley was just sitting there watching Aziraphale about to give Booked of Life, but we're not counting that in, are we? We're not counting that in, are we?

C: I am counting that in!

G: Well then, they're not best friends! He's literally just gonna watch that angel die.

C: I mean, he was blurry. Like, we don't know exactly what she's feeling in that moment.

G: Boo! That's not true, that's not true, [C laughs] that's a lie, you're lying to yourself!

C: There was a shot afterwards, right? Like, there wasn't a shot during the threat.

G: No. He literally is just lounging on that thing.

C: Okay. We can keep that [laughs] if I can keep Dean getting over Cas's death so fast at the end of Season 15. I think one of those is more damning. Okay, whatever. We will never agree on whether or not Dean and Cas are best friends [G: Yeah.], so we can argue on other points, I suppose. Like, is there any femslash Destiel out there that's good? I don't think so.

G: No, absolutely none, yeah.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah. Do they get to magically switch genitals and pronouns and like, just gender presentations whenever the fuck they want? I don't think so!

G: Well, you can't either! [laughing] Are you-

C: [laughing] Wait, what does that have to- We're comparing them to Destiel! Why am I here? We're comparing Aziraphale and Crowley to Destiel! What? This isn't about whether or not they're best friends! [laughing] You don't need to be able to swap genitals to be best friends. What are we talking about? What?

G: [laughing] I don't even know! [laughs] Okay, go on. Proceed with your tirade against me, personally. [C laughing]

C: [laughing] You're right. This is against you, personally. I'm going, "Grey, can you swap your genitals? I don't think so. [G laughing] Therefore, Aziraphale and Crowley are better than Destiel." This is logic. [both laughing]

No, okay, like, I think that the possibilities with Aziraphale and Crowley are so much larger than the possibilities with Destiel. Aziraphale and Crowley, like, have lived every historical AUs that you could have and every like, gender combo that you can have, and like, both have powers.

G: This is true.

C: I just think that they're just so much more interesting because of that.

G: Yes, I do agree with that one.

C: Okay.

G: I think a part of it is, like, with Aziraphale and Crowley, like, I would never read an AU. For Destiel, I probably would.

C: Yeah, 'cause they're lacking.

G: It's because the universe of Good Omens is already so full. Like, anything that you can throw in there, you probably can apply. With Destiel, it's a bit different.

C: Yeah. And worse, one might say.

G: I mean, one of those things appeal to people- would like, appeal to different people differently.

C: You can still have AUs for Good Omens, like, you just have less things-

G: Yeah, but they're not.

C: Are Destiel AUs good?

G: [laughs] I have not read a Destiel fic for a long, long, long, long time.

C: Yeah, me neither. I don't think I will again, honestly.

G: Probably me too.

C: But like, yeah, I don't know. Okay, I guess the other avenue- Okay, I'm glad we're agreed on that one. The other avenue is who's more in love, and it's Aziraphale and Crowley, thank you, next! [both laughing]

G: Yeah.

C: Oh, wow! You're not gonna argue that one?

G: I don't know. It depends, I guess, on what we define love as. If it's an emotion, I do think I can make the case for Destiel. If it's an action, Aziraphale and Crowley love each other more.

C: Yeah. And if it's an emotion, you can make a case for Destiel? I just- I truly think that both Dean and Cas could get over it, and I don't think Aziraphale and Crowley could get over it.

G: Yeah, I think Aziraphale and Crowley can get over it.

C: Really?

G: Yeah.

C: How?

G: I think you can get over anything, including the both of them.

C: Okay, I think Destiel could get over it a lot faster and a lot easier.

G: Hmm. I don't think the easiness of moving on or the quickness of it defines anything, so I can't engage with that-

C: Okay, so you mean I'm right? [laughing] So you mean I'm correct?

G: I mean, you're probably right, but I don't see it as relevant.

C: - but you're saying that's not a valuable point.

G: Yes. Yes.

C: Okay. What is a valuable point regarding the strength of the emotion?

G: What you're willing to do for each other? And I do think, like, Dean and Cas are in the more self-sacrificial avenue than Aziraphale and Crowley. When I think about like-

C: Yeah. It's also the fictional universe that they're in, though. [G: Yeah.] Like, people are trying to kill themselves, like, every episode in Supernatural.

G: Yeah. And, I mean, I can say the same thing about Aziraphale and Crowley and their epic highs and lows of their relationship.

C: That what?

G: I mean, like what I said earlier, how like, they're given room to breathe, and they're able to be better friends because of it.

C: Okay, yeah, fictional universe, blah blah blah, yeah.

G: Yes. I think in 12.1, we talked about how- You were like, "Oh, maybe Crowley went up there," like, "According to my friend, they thought Crowley went up there to like, offer themselves up before Heaven so that they wouldn't touch Aziraphale." And I was like, "That's not true. Crowley wouldn't do that." because Crowley isn't self-sacrificing like that. Now, we can talk about whether love is supposed to be self-sacrificing or not, but if we are to define it as such, Destiel is a bit higher in that category.

C: Yeah, I agree with that. Though I still don't- I don't know why you were so fast to say "Crowley wouldn't do that."

G: You think Crowley would?

C: I would not be as fast to say that Crowley wouldn't.

G: Well, I'm quicker. [C laughs]

C: I think there are circumstances under which Crowley would-

G: [laughing] I've suddenly just become the greatest asshole when we reached this question.

C: I mean, we were asked to debate. I think both of us have have leniency to be assholes.

G: [laughing] No, my argument earlier. "Well, you can't, either!" [laughing] That's so fucking petty! [C laughing]

C: Yeah, and you also asked me how long I've been friends with my best friend. Yeah, you were very quick to turn this personal, Grey. Tsk tsk!

G: No, because when we first brought up this argument, it was personal! You name-dropped people.

C: Yeah, I name-dropped Hilson, mostly.

G: Yeah! Yeah.

C: Which is not a person from my life.

G: [laughing] No, actually, you're right! I think I name-dropped Danica [C laughing] in that conversation!

C: Are you looking through our history? Or-

G: No, I'm not. I'm just remembering it in my head. [laughing] I literally said, like- I think I said, "You cannot compare Dean and Castiel to like, someone with a more stable existence like [C laughing] House and Wilson and you and Danica." [both laughing]

C: God. So true.

G: [laughing] I'm literally a fucking asshole. [C laughs] Okay, well-

C: Okay, what were we on? We were on the point that- Oh, right. I think there are circumstances under which Crowley would self-sacrifice. I guess you could definitely argue that the bodyswap was like-

G: But that's equal.

C: Both of them were willing to risk death for each other.

G: Yeah, but that's equal.

C: That's true. I'd say- yeah, and both of them could be trapped in Heaven or Hell. Okay, wait, so you're saying self-sacrifice has to be unequal?

G: Yeah, 'cause it's self sacrifice if like, "Either I die or I don't die, and I'm choosing to die for you."

C: Okay.

G: But like, with Aziraphale and Crowley's bodyswap, it's like, "We're gonna die both ways, so let's try this thing out where we can possibly not die."

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. They're both going into the unknown depths, though. But you're right, that it's just like- it's an equal exchange or whatever. Though I guess the way that this is being defined is making me want to turn to the like, "Should we even define self-sacrifice as part of love" thing, though, because currently, I feel like it shouldn't be. Anything that you're claiming is one-sided, I don't think should be a main component of love.

G: I mean, that's true. I mean, I'm furiously on the side of "You cannot be in love if it's one-sided." [C: Mm.] Yeah. I just don't think that's being in love.

C: Right, okay, so what are the components that we're actually arguing based off of?

G: Nothing! Love is different for every single person. [both laughing] We've been arguing for like, I don't even fucking know how long, and I'm like, "And there's no argument even going on!" So true.

C: I- I still want to win. [laughs] But if you're like, "Well, there's no true winner or loser here 'cause love is different for every single person, and love is love is love," then I don't know where to go from there, so yeah.

G: [laughs] Yeah. So, I mean, the next question is, of course, "Aziraphale or Castiel?"

C: On this one, we're more agreed, I think. It's Castiel.

G: Castiel, yeah.

C: Sorry Aziraphale! It is Crowley over Castiel, though. But like, yeah.

G: Oh, for you? I think Castiel is-

C: Well, you have to remember that I met both of these people before I met Castiel.

G: Earlier. Before you met Castiel. Yeah. I've known Castiel for forever. Like, Castiel is like a brother for me, for fucking real. But also, I've known Castiel longer than I've had my little sister. You know. Like, Castiel has been in my life. Yeah, so I feel like it will take quite a lot to beat Cas. And Cas is kind of like the- like, characters come and go. Castiel, for me, is like tthe backdrop. And then I get into something real, real, real, real deep, and then I get out of it, and then Castiel's still there. [both laugh] You know what I mean?

C: Yeah.

G: So that's kind of the situation I have with Cas. And also because we just see more of Cas. Like, there's more of Cas. And Cas, throughout the seasons, you can make a case that, like, all those Cas-es are different people going through different stuff, different mindsets, you know. There's no like, one journey for Cas. I don't think it's just for me. I think, for many people, it's easy to relay your experiences on him a bit better because, like, [laughs] he's just been through so much, and you've seen it all. And like, I'm not saying that the only way to love a character is to relay your experiences onto them, but I think it does affect their staying power when you're able to go through something in life and think, "Ah, just like Castiel for real." [C laughing] You know what I mean?

C: Yeah. I mean, why Cas over Aziraphale for me? I mean, I had a period of being deeply, deeply obsessed with Cas that I never really had with Aziraphale, so like, I guess that's still pinging around in my brain.

G: Again, like, you've said it, right? Like, if it's Crowley vs Castiel, like, Crowley is the answer for you. [C: Yeah.] So I feel like this question is really more targeted towards me because it's like, Aziraphale’s my fave [C: That's true.] in Good Omens, so I think that's reasonable.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Also, I just don't think that Aziraphale's gonna, like, Season 3, come into a church, choke a homophobe to death, and then like, turn Jesus into him on stained glass. Like, I just don't see it for him

G: [laughs] He's so funny! Castiel is the funniest guy ever.

C: Yeah. Aziraphale will just never have a Godstiel arc, and I feel like that was- yeah, that pussy cunt slay is quite important to me.

-

G: So our next question is from [laughs] the frequently name-dropped in our last question, Danica.

C: Hii!

G: And the question is, "pressing question that i want you to answer on air i wanna know like eeeevery thought youve ever had about afterparty!omens like [laughing] i really wanna waste every one of ur listeners time with like afterparty!omens shot by shot descriptions." Again, this is a-

C: [laughs] I'm so glad you asked.

G: - Crystal-specific question. [laughs] I have no idea what any of these words mean.

C: What? No? [laughing] Danica meant this question just for you, Grey! You answer it! [both laughing] No, but-

G: I know about Afterparty solely because of Danica. Like, [laughing] Danica was like, "Grey, you should watch it," and I literally didn't, so. [C: Yeah.] That's the literally the only way that I know it.

C: Yeah, yeah. Afterparty!Omens, okay, I guess the point is that The Afterparty- I've only seen Season 1 'cause apparently, Season 2 is so bad that Danica doesn't want to do that to me or to anyone living [laughs], is that it's a murder mystery set at like, a high school reunion party, and each episode is like, a character being interviewed by the cops about what happened at the party, and like, they give, like, their perspective on what's happening, and they all like, view their life through a different genre. Like, Aniq views his life as a romcom, and Brett as like, this action movie, and Zoe as, like, a cartoon, etc etc. And like, it's all, you know, giving different perspectives on what happened that night, and how like, each of them saw different interactions or like, pieces of interactions, and then, like, you know, some of them are concealing things, including who did the murder. So yeah. But I guess the point of Afterparty!Omens is just that, like, I think Season 2 would be better structured like that where each character gets an episode-

G: Oh, yeah! You've mentioned this to me! The first one is Aziraphale, yeah.

C: Right, so Danica and I were on the phone discussing Afterparty!Omens until 3AM, and then you messaged me and were like, "You know we're recording in like, four hours, right?" [both laugh] And I was like, "Fuck!" So, okay, that was my night. Right,and we made a Google Doc for it, and Danica sent me the link, but like, I'm clicking it right now, [G laughing] and I don't think she added my email, so I can't actually access it to answer this question.

G: Yeah.

C: So okay, I'm gonna go off memory.

G: No, but I think you've mentioned this to me that like, it starts with Aziraphale.

C: Yeah, I put in an ask, I think.

G: And the confession is like, removed, yeah. [pained sounds]

C: Mm-hm. The primary characters, it's gonna have 8 episodes instead of the- Good Omens is 6, 'cause I feel like it's just important. And the POV characters are going to be, I mean, Aziraphale and Crowley, obviously, Maggie and Nina, Gabriel and Beelzebub, and Shax and Muriel. I think I've changed it around so that Muriel is actually the last one because they were standing outside at the window during the whole final fifteen, and I feel like they're someone who would give like, a generally objective account of that. So I feel like that would make sense as the last episode. So like, yeah, okay, Aziraphale’s version, I think, is like, him writing in his diary or whatever, and it's gonna be like- His genre is like, you know, like a Jane Austen romance thing where I think that he's sort of just covering up everything, including a lot of the helping Jim stuff and like, just being like, "And I wanted Maggie and Nina to fall in love, and I made this ball, and it was wonderful, and Crowley was there, and we danced. And that's it. Nothing else happened those weeks. Stop asking me questions." So that would be like, how we open, right? So we just don't really get that much, but there is like, a sense of something wrong underneath it all. And then I think-

G: I love how you just told us that like, you already talked about this Danica. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, and this question is from her, so there's literally no point in me going through all of it. [G laughs]

Okay, Crowley's genre is like, like, a James Bond movie, right? So like, Crowley is like, providing the general action of the last few days. And like, clearly is like, just not saying a lot of stuff about like, her emotions during that time and is just being like, "And I was so cool, and then I was so cool," but like, is definitely crying on the couch every time you cut back to like, present-day Crowley talking. Right. Crowley would also leave out the final fifteen. I think Crowley would end it with like, Hell leaving and like, the battle ending and all that stuff. We'd get some fun stuff with, like, them sneaking into Heaven where they make it seem like it was a lot more difficult than it was.

Okay, Maggie's genre is like, romcom. And that's like, gonna be fun because when we cut to Nina's POV, it's just gonna be like, "And this woman is so annoying." [both laugh] But like, in Maggie's POV, she's like, "And we were trapped together, and it was so nice, and I think Nina's like, really into me." Blah blah blah blah. Okay, right, we'd settle on Nina being like, sort of like the straight man in an Office-style romcom where she's constantly looking at the camera like "Can you believe this shit?" And we would see a lot more of her relationship with Lindsay behind the scenes, and like, what's going on with her there, which I think would help flesh her out a lot. And also, I think it would help Maggie and Nina be less annoying because for Maggie's one, like, you're watching the whole time, and you'd just be like, "Oh, like, she's just making shit up. This is funny." And like, we're not really supposed to like her or find her sympathetic that much. This is just like, an exaggerated version of like, what she thinks is going on with her and Nina.

Okay, Shax I think her part, she's gonna be giving like, a political speech to Hell about like, why she should be on the Dark Council and take over Beelzebub’s seat. A lot of her stuff is gonna just be narrating like, the threatening Crowley, threatening Aziraphale, and then storing the bookshop. Everything's gonna be shot like a war movie, with like, heroic music and all that shit. [G laughs] But it'll have her narration where- well, you know she's not very like, well-spoken and stuff, so there'll be a lot of fun contrast between that and like, the way that the battle is filmed.

Gabriel is mostly just gonna fill in, like, what happens with the Jim story. Like, I think he's talking to Beelzebub, like, while they're on Alpha Centauri- I think Gabriel and Beelzebub are going to be talking to each other. But, like, Gabriel's episode is gonna come earlier, and you don't know who he's talking to, and like, he'll leave off after the battle ends, so like, before he gets his memories back, so like, when Heaven and Hell pop in but before he gets the fly, so like, you don't know until Beelzebub's episode that- and Beelzebub's gonna fill in the flashback love story stuff. Yeah, so you don't know that it's Beelzebub until then. Gabriel's genre- Did we- I don't think we got there. What do you think Gabriel's genre would be? I mean, Sound of Music parody would be hilarious.

G: [laughing] Succession.

C: [laughing] Succession! No, for real, though.

G: Corporate, yeah. [laughs]

C: No, but if he's just narrowing like, Jim stuff- I mean, it would be really funny if it was Succession, but like, as an assistant bookseller.

G: For real.

C: But like, I don't know if that's mindset that he's in while he's Jim.

G: Oh, yeah, 'cause he's just Jim.

C: Well, if he's telling the story afterwards, he could be trying to make himself as Jim seem really cool to Beelzebub 'cause he's like, back to being an asshole, right? So like, he could be trying to Successionify it. But yeah, I don't know. Is Succession the one you're gonna settle on? Because I don't have a better option right now.

G: Huh. I mean, I don't know any genres. I have no idea what the genre is. [C laughs] [C: Fair.] I've never heard of a genre.

C: Yeah. Right, Beelzebub, I think we were thinking, like, horror comedy.

G: I think that would be it, yeah.

C: Which would be fun. I guess Beelzebub's just sort of reminiscing about like, what they were doing before and how they got here. We could probably see the ending of like, the Beelzebub and Gabriel reveal from like, Maggie or Nina's perspective 'cause they were there before Michael threatened to turn them into salt, so like, that would give us like, probably more. I think I think it should be Nina's [laughs] because I want her to look into the camera every time they say something corny.

Muriel, I think it's gonna be mostly in the form of like, a report to Heaven. Or, I think, okay, I think Muriel is gonna be mostly like, documentary-style, like, "Muriel's adventures on Earth," like, discovering bugs and shit.

G: [laughing] A vlogger! Yeah.

C: [laughs] Yeah. And like, stuff that they've written down in their notebook and stuff like that, but like, I think the final fifteen will be relayed fairly just true to what actually happened, just as a report, without that much narration. Yeah. And then, you know, it'll just end with them going into the bookshop. And then that'll be season. And that means that there will be no minisodes, but I feel like that's fine, even though there's not that much present-day plot, because the point of having a bunch of POVs is that you can do the same scene over [G: Yeah.], but like, make it seem very different. And it would be better than Season 2, I think.

G: [laughing] That would be so funny, if we saw the breakup through like, a fucking [both laughing] vlog camera outside of the bookshop. [C: Yeah!] And Muriel- you can see Muriel's thumb covering the lens every once in a while. [C laughing] So true!

C: Yeah. So, so true. Yeah, like, would it lessen the emotional impact? Maybe a little.

G: Probably.

C: But also, I think the emotional impact would be lessened because of the way it's shot, but I feel like the realization that this is what Aziraphale and Crowley were hiding during their episodes would like, make up for it a bit. Like, that would help.

That's the Afterparty!Omens. I'm glad that I was able to waste every one of my listeners' time with Afterparty!Omens shot-by-shot description! [G laughs]

-

G: Exactly. Well, so our next category is just Crystal and Grey talking about themselves extravaganza.

C: Meaning two questions.

G: [laughs] Yeah. So our first question is from an anonymous person asking, "Finally! Asking again for fanfiction recommendations! I really liked the one about Crowley having a daughter and the one about Aziraphale mysteriously becoming a human with amnesia, do you have any other recommendations that have that similar vibe?" Crystal explained this to me as like, these fanfics are like, kind of less romance-centric and more like, book-ish.

C: Yeah. Well, I'd say the plot is like, as important as the romance. Like, it's not the ones where, like, they just sit around and pine a lot.

G: Yeah. I do not read fanfic for plot, [C laughs] so I have no recommendations.

C: Yeah. Okay, so, first, anon, the fact that you read over 200,000 words of content on my recommendation is very flattering. [laughs] Thanks. And I'm really glad you liked those ones.

G: You don't know that. Maybe they already read it-

C: Maybe.

G: - and they were like, "Oh yeah, I like those ones that Crystal recommended."

C: Maybe. That's true. That's true.

G: You never know. You never know.

C: That's true.

G: They already listened to like, multiple hours of our podcast. [laughing]

C: Yeah, yeah, they don't have the time to also be reading 200,000 words.

G: Yeah. You don't have time to read fanfiction when your number one priority should be [both laugh] listening to Crystal and Grey talk for hours and hours on end.

C: Yeah. For fucking real. Okay, so, I don't really read that many long, plotty things either, so I only really have one that I think like, is actually what you're looking for, if I'm interpreting what you mean by "have that similar vibe." It is a series called "The Place You Need to Reach" by Zetared. First fic is called "The Persephone Clause," and second is called "The Orpheus Cure." Do spoilers matter? Like, how much like, how do I give a plot summary without spoilers? Okay, it's like- okay, I guess part one is sort of like, an Orpheus and Eurydice thing, where Aziraphale's getting Crowley out of Hell, and then part 2 is like, it sort of starts as like, Aziraphale recovering from that time, and then becomes like, an apocalypse part 2 plot thing that gets pretty wacky, but I think that overall, it's like, a fun time, and I really like a lot of the ideas introduced in like, part 1 of part 2- like, the first half of part 2 of the fic a lot, too. This is fully a book fic, which hopefully is what you're looking for. And I also enjoy fully book fics more than show fics a lot of time. And it was published in like, 2019 before Season 2, so it's not like, a Second Coming Apocalypse Part 2. Yeah. I mean, it's a good time. There's plot. There's the characters. I enjoy it. There's like, a Rape/Non-Con warning on part 1, but like, I guess if that scares you off, like, what that scene is is that an apparition of Crowley in Hell kisses Aziraphale, and then- like, sexually assault Aziraphale by kissing him- but like, that's the end of that. So like, nothing worse than what's happened in the show already.

Okay, so that's the main one that I think actually suits what you're looking for. Another book fic that I've read semi-recently that I think you could enjoy just because I think I think the style of it works pretty well with what you've liked in the past is called "By Permission of Heaven" by ImprobableDreams900, and that one's just like- it's just Aziraphale and Crowley during the Great London fire of 1666. It's nice. It's nice to see them in that historical setting and to see them earlier in their relationship like that.

I guess this probably isn't really that vibe, and I've already mentioned this in the podcast, but I would like to push "Before the Water Rises" by Vitreous_Humor one more time, which is the Noah's Ark one where both of them like, find a village and help them build boats in preparation of the flood. I think it's wonderful. I think it's great. [G: Hell yeah!] Yeah, I enjoy the plot elements and the lore elements of it that are sprinkled throughout, as well as the them being so in love and stupid about it.

Last question is from poprockringpop. " For those of us who are new to Crystal & Grey Enterprises, can we get some of your friendship lore and how you decided to start podding together (if you’re comfortable!)." So we went to Supernatural together. [laughs]

G: We literally did. We met in 2021 in Supernatural.

C: Yeah, yeah. We met via Discord and then got closer because we like, both made Supernatural AMVs. So like, we ran in the same circles regarding that.

G: Yeah. If you're unfamiliar, like, AMV culture in Supernatural, especially when it was big when Supernatural was real big-

C: Yeah, that was crazy.

G: Like, 2021 to 2022, I guess. Like, mid 2022s. It's unimaginable what it was like. Like, [laughs] I don't know how to explain it, because, like, Good Omens, if you're like, with us for Good Omens only, Good Omens is so not an AMV fandom. It's really not.

C: Yeah. There's more animatics than AMVs, and it's like, "But you don't have to draw all of that. They already did it! You're doing so much extra work!" [both laugh]

G: Supernatural is a AMV fandom. Like, it is. Like, the AMV circles are big,and you kind of find your specific niches with it within that circle itself. So like, AMV-making isn't a niche in itself, but the types of AMVs people make, you know, you kind of like, group together. [laughing] Crystal and I have never made an AMV that is alike to one another whatsoever. But, like, you know. For some reason, we just kind of like, ran in the specific circles in those areas.

C: Right, yeah, so I guess we started talking because of that. And then we became friends. And then on January 6th, 2022- [laughs] Not 2021-

G: Which is like, less than 6 months since we've known each other, I think. Because we started talking-

C: Yeah, I think we checked, and our first discord message was in [G: September.] September 2021. Yeah, but I thought that we DMed on Tumblr earlier.

G: We knew each other- no no no, we didn't. But like, we kind of knew each other from like, other areas. Like, you know, I see you on my timeline, Discord. But like, that's different. That's different.

C: Yeah, yeah, 'cause your first Discord message to me was like, "I hope it's okay that I'm messaging you here" was how it started, right? So we hadn't talked on Tumblr yet?

G: We were already talking in other places. But like, I feel like Discord DM is like, more personal, so I guess that's why I said-

C: Okay, that's true. 'Cause I feel like we had that conversation about the book of Job via Tumblr.

G: Did we? Oh, that's real fun!

C: I don't know. Did we? I'll look up Book of Job in our regular DMs. In April 2022-

G: Oh, so that's way later.

C: - you mentioned putting Cas into the Book of Job, and then I said, "Isn't Job set in prehistoric times?"

G: Yeah! That's the one.

C: So you're misremembering. You said this was one of our first conversations. No, it happened way later. We'd already had BABPod. But yeah, anyway. We talked about Job a bit-

G: January 6, 2022-

C: January 6, 2022, you sent, "Let's do a podcast." as a joke.

G: No, here's the context. Here's the context. You go, "Oh, I have, like, all of Supernatural on like, a hard drive, because I make AMVs with it. I have never actually like, sat down and watched every single episode. Maybe I should do that." And I was like, "Yeah, you should do it. And like, we should do make- let's do a podcast. And like, let's talk about every single episode of the show." And the thing is, I've been saying this to people all the time. Like, I've invited many people to do a Supernatural podcast with me. It's something I really wanted to do. [C: Yeah.] But, like, every single person like, just rejected me. [C laughs] Like, nobody wanted to do it [laughs] for, like, completely obvious reasons. It's so long and arduous, nobody likes Supernatural in my life, you know?

C: Yeah, I think I think the fact that I hadn't watched Supernatural yet [laughs] is what really allowed me to say yes to that.

G: Really, what I wanted to do was me, someone who knows about everything about the show, and someone who like, knew nothing, just like in our Good Omens podcast. But you were the only one who said yes, and you already knew a lot about it.

C: Yeah, I knew many things due to being in the fandom and making AMVs.

G: Yeah. So yeah, that's what happened. Like, you said, yes, and I was like, "Well, I mean, the opportunity has presented itself. We shall commit to the bit." And you know what? I do think that if it was with anyone else, we would have done like, I don't know, seven episodes and quit. 'Cause like, you and I, I don't think we understood what we were getting ourselves into [C laughs] when we started. Like, definitely not. [C: Yeah.] I don't want to complain about like, being- like, making a podcast. I like doing this. I really do. I like doing the podcast stuff. It is a lot of work, though. [C: Mm-hm.] And like, especially during the first, like, couple of months, it's like, we were doing two podcasts a week 'cause we wanted to get it over with.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: And then, like, at some point, we realized that like, "Okay, we can't keep on doing this, because, like, it's actually difficult. Like, this is like, so much work." And like, it was working for me at the time - 'cause I'm the editor - and it was working for me at the time 'cause like, a lot of this stuff was like, you're in your house, you know. Our economy and our schools and everything hasn't opened up yet at the time.

C: It was very fast. We came up with the name and made like, an official email and shit, like the day of that conversation. Like, I think, within an hour. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, we committed very quickly. And yeah, it was pretty insane of us to do given that [laughs] we had never spoken on the phone before.

G: We had never called prior. [laughs] I didn't even know what Crystal sounded like. So- I remember you sent me like, an example of what your audio would sound like, and then I heard it, and my immediate thought was like, "Holy shit! Like, Crystal really sounds like an American! [C laughing] Like, Crystal really sounds like an American." And like, I think I replied to that audio clip like, "Oh my god! You're an American!" [both laughing] Well, I was surprised. I was shocked to my core.

C: Yeah, yeah.

G: I think it is really like, a big luck situation to that.

C: Yeah, it could have been not good.

G: Like, speaking- Yeah. 'Cause like, you can message someone and like, have good rapport in messaging someone, and like, when you talk to each other, it's like, you just don't vibe or you like, you don't understand each other well. I mean, I've had friends who like- I have a British friend. [laughs] I've talked about this so much. [C: Yeah.] I have a British friend, like, the first time we called, we literally could not understand each other. [C laughs] Like, we were on the call, she could see my face, I could see her face, I could see her lips mouthing the words, and I still couldn't understand anything. Like, we had to type shit to each other. [C: Aw.] We had to message each other anyway to be able to understand each other. I don't know. Good thing you have a viciously American accent [C laughing] that I could understand, I suppose. So.

C: For fucking real.

G: Yeah, that shit was crazy, too. I mean for me, specifically, like, I'm I'm fluent in English, obviously, but being fluent in English in a way that people who don't also speak Filipino can understand is different than being fluent in like, English the way I was at the time. When you're thinking, "Oh, I'm speaking English, but if I slip a Filipino word here and there, the person will still understand me," that's different from like, speaking entirely in English. And like, it was very very very like- I was so scared that someone was going to point out my accent, [C: Aww!] and it will like, destroy me completely, which is, you know. [C: Yeah.] I think I've grown out of that insecurity. [C: Mm.] And I think I'm funnier, too, because I'm less nervous about everything.

C: Hell yeah!

G: But yeah. Podcasting- It really was a journey. [C laughs] We were crazy to do this. But you know what?

C: It worked out.

G: It worked out. It will continue to work out, hopefully.

C: Yeah, yeah, I believe it. So yeah.

G: I believe it too.

C: [laughing] We've been talking about ourselves for so long. Maybe- It really is an extravaganza.

G: I love to talk about myself.

C: This is true.

G: Well, that's actually the end of it. We- I love how we like, ranked this- I mean, I ranked the questions, [C: Ordered.] but like, I ordered the questions to be like, most relevant to the show to the least relevant to the show Good Omens, [laughs] but now it just seems like I left the "What are Crystal and Grey's backstory is?" like, for last, because it's the most important. [both laughing] [C: Yeah.] Well, maybe it is.

C: What if it is?

G: What if it is so? So- yeah.

-

C: Okay. Oh my god, we're not gonna talk to- like, we're not gonna do this for like, four year now.

G: RubbishPod, yeah.

C: Some people like, are only RubbishPod listeners, so we won't see them for four years.

G: Yeah. I know a lot of you guys don't listen to BABPod.

C: Oh my god, that's so sad! Yeah. I will miss the asks.

G: That's so sad. Yeah, because we do get a lot more Tumblr asks and interactions like that with Rubbish.

C: Yeah, just 'cause every episode of Good Omens is important, so there's things to say about them.

G: Yeah, and BABPod is like "whatever" per episode. [C laughs] Even though I think we do have a little more listeners generally in BABPod, like, immediately. But you know, it's a different kind of show. Which is fine. It's completely fine. But it was fun to like, interact with, like, every single ask as if it was like, a [laughing] theological debate that we were having. It was really fun! Like, truthfully, yeah.

C: Yeah. This was like a 24/7 engagement for me. Yeah, 'cause we were like, talking about the episode all the time throughout the week [G: To each other, yeah.] too, and I was reading like, Good Omens fic all the time during the week, too. But, like, it was great. It was great to have like, a honeymoon with Good Omens for 3 months.

G: Yeah, that's what it felt like, yeah.

C: And it was great that all of you audience people were there. 'Cause, yeah. It was very nice to answer the asks and like, think more about character interpretations and shit like that with all of you. So.

G: It's less about like, the actual the doing it and more like, the mental like, [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] state that you have to be in to do it, which is, for me and Crystal, it really was like, I wake up in the morning, [both laughing] I message Crystal about Aziraphale and Crowley. [C: Yeah.] Like, it was that serious for us. It was crazy! This time was crazy!

C: Yeah. Yeah. And I look forward to doing it again in four years, or however long it takes for Season 3.

G: Do you think it will take four years?

C: Um, he's writing it right now.

G: Yeah. If he finishes writing it by- I think maybe it'll take longer, actually.

C: I would rather he take his time to write it, given that [G: It's the last one, yeah.] Season 2 was bad and it was written fast. In some amount of years. [G: Some amount of years.] Unless it gets cancelled, [laughs] which would be really funny.

G: If it gets cancelled- it would be so funny if this is our last like, [laughs] episode, and like, all of it is just like, "Oh my god! See you guys in four or so years!" [C: Yeah.]And it just never happens.

C: Yeah, well, let's hope that that is not the case. [G: Yeah.]

That's it for this week's episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, in four years, we'll be talking about Season 3, Episode 1, which will probably be titled "Fucking Raw in the Street." [both laugh] Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts!

G: Follow us on social media. We interact through the social media set up for our Supernatural podcast, Busty Asian Beauties, so we're on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail- Ah, bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com, and you can email us at bustyasianbeautiespod.gmail.com. No, it's- [both laugh] bustyasian- No. [laughing] What the fuck is our email? bustyasianbeautiespod@g-

C: bustyasianbeauties@- bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com.

G: @gmail.com. Well, okay, and I would like to say that just because we have released our final episode, you can still message us. We'll still reply sincerely.

C: Oh, yeah, you should still ask us things about Good Omens. [G: Yes.] Yeah, literally, if it's two years later and you have a thought about Aziraphale and Crowley, [G: Yeah.] and you're like, "I want to hear Crystal and Grey's opinion on this," like, I will be there. [laughs]

G: Yeah. And also like, there are times throughout this recording that, like, our opinions have changed, so probably, like, some of the stuff we say here probably will change also. [C: Yeah.] That's just how thoughts go. [C: Yeah.] And, you know, contact us. We love the interactions. Really. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] Thank you.

C: Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. See you guys next time in four fucking years! [both] Bye!

[Garageband version of Buddy Holly’s “Everyday” plays]