#I mean its a nice car in sense that its made with our weather conditions in mind

[cheeseknives]

Shout out to me for listening a man explaining all the details about old ass 760 Turbo Volvo for like two hours

[smolbeandrabbles]

Penguin, James Penguin - Killian x Reader (Spies in Disguise)

Alternate Title: ‘I Wish I Was James Bond’

Holiday Fic 5! 🐧🐧

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

@xxstar-bluesxx​ - From one Killian Stan, to another 😉

Author’s Note: It is EXACTLY a year since I saw this movie for the first time. 

I had way too much fun writing these two again, safe to say I missed them a lot 🥰🥰

Not joking, this plot has been in my notes since January - and I was like “Well I missed my chance completely with the song and everything!” It’s too good not to pass up!!

Reader character from my SiD series/prequel? You betcha! 😉 But this time we’re writing for them post-movie!

Also playing into the rehabilitation program / Agent!McFord storyline here. So I hope, Killian Stans, that he’s been worth the wait to come back to you. And that I’m ticking a bunch of boxes. 

Note: Whilst the song itself certainly has a Christmas theme, the fic does not. At all.

Penguin, James Penguin - Brad Paisley

I Wish I Was James Bond - Scouting For Girls

Disclaimer: SiD & all associated characters not mine / basically taking the same idea as everyone else and slightly subverting expectations, because it wouldn’t be my fic if I didn’t / you don’t necessarily have to read ‘Mine’ to ‘Fresh Start Fever’ to understand this but it might help / lyrics & gifs not mine. 

Premise: In an attempt to figure out how Walters Bio-molecular tech works, Killian ends up getting it wrong with disastrous (hilarious) results...

Words: 6793

Warnings: Christmas themed lyrics/No Christmas themed fic / if you squint there’s some slight sexual banter at the end there / 

______

I've got another story That I bet you haven't heard Did you know that Santa Has a secret agent bird From an undisclosed location He's watching me and you He's got satellite uplinks in his cufflinks Yeah he sees everything you do He's Penguin, James Penguin That dapper little guy Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux He's Santa's secret spy Not so very long ago Santa didn't need much help But with more and more kids every year He soon got overwhelmed He told the elves one Christmas We can't do this anymore Then a knight in shining polyester Waddled through his door And it was Penguin, James Penguin He was there to save the day He had wireless And GPS outfitted on the sleigh And Santa said Penguin Won't you be my ears and eyes How'd you like to help me run My SCFBI He's Penguin, James Penguin And now I guess you've heard How Santa got his little Christmas Secret Agent Bird

---

I've seen you walk the screen, it's you that I adore Since I was a boy I wanted to be like Roger Moore A girl in every port, and gadgets up my sleeve The world is not enough for the both of us it seems Hello Mr Bond, I've been expecting you Martini in your hand, and that eyebrow that you move Don't take this the wrong way, I know it might sound odd I'm the next double-0, I'm the right man for the job I wanted to be you, I wanted to be you I wanted to be someone else And I wish I was James Bond Just for the day Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away And I wish I was James Bond Just for the day Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away And I wish I was James Bond Just for the day Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away Roger and Sean and Timmy and George And Daniel and Pierce and maybe one day me

---

The light grey clouds rolled over the mountains on the horizon line. By the colour alone you suspected that you were due heavy snowfall. Up in a mountaintop hideaway you were growing used to such things... no bright blue sky today.

You folded your arms with a sigh; still, a little bit of sunshine would be nice.  

KiTT - your assistance drone - beeped every so often as he moved about the room, doing the odd task. Other than that, the house was silent, for now. Your eyes hovered on the helicopter outside and then back to the clouds; would there be a chance of getting out of here for the next few days? You knew cars would be out of the question, it was treacherous even in snow fairing vehicles... Note to self: Next time choose a boyfriend whose idea of a home is not a typical villain’s hide out. Although you supposed it fit his role in all this. At least to the Agency. Things had changed a lot since Killian had tried to take everyone out with his own drones, but they were still very wary of him. You found yourself tasked with keeping him straight - you weren’t sure they understood your relationship. But agreed anyway.

  Having finished his tasks and now bored, KiTT whirred his way back over to you, beeping his greeting. Blue lights flashing.  You shook your head at him, “What would you have me do? I’ve given you everything I had on my list, why don’t you ask him if he needs any help?” KiTT’s next series of bleeps had you laughing; “I’m sure he didn’t mean to kick you out like that. K just needs to concentrate. You can get pretty loud!”  Your drone protested, which only made you giggle. Especially as he tried to make the argument that he couldn’t possibly be any worse than the rest of them. 

KiTT had a point: the drones that the Agency had let you take back now helped both you and Killian with lab work - amongst other things – and, with your own expertise in AI, each now had their own distinctive personality just as KiTT did. Sometimes you regretted that decision. Although they couldn’t have been further from his blue and silver finish; in sleek black and red lights. Fitting for your significant other maybe, but it made little sense to you for the Agency to have given them such colours. (And if you were honest, KiTT looks a damn sight better, but you supposed there was a bit of favouritism in that comment.) “Oh, yeah. Cuz nothing says evil robot quite like red lights.” Killian couldn’t clap back at that, KiTT was exclusively blue. “I didn’t design it.” “I know. Which begs the question, why the Agency was building an assassination drone.” He folded his arms, “Well they don’t care, do they?” Protection by any means necessary. Stop the bad guys by any means necessary. “Well...” You raised your eyebrows and tipped your head in agreement. He’d know a lot about that alright... 

You found yourself looking back to the clouds and sighed, “You could always go check the weather for me if you’re really that desperate. Or if you could figure out a really quick weather changing machine?” If you could count KiTT’s next sound as a scoff you would, before blue lights ran across his body to let you know he was contacting weather satellites for you.

 The sudden crash behind you snapped you both from caring about the weather. It was followed by a slightly smaller - but still loud – one, and then silence again. You immediately started towards the labs, “On second thought, sounds like I should have just asked you to go straight to him!” 

**

When you both got down there it was a little hard to tell what had happened. At first it looked like nothing too serious; work surfaces scattered with tools, screens full of science mechanics... until you spotted the broken glass beakers and liquid running across the surface of a worktop, dripping onto the floor. “K?!” He didn’t appear to be in here, and yet none of his drones were either, which made you think it also hadn’t been them to make this mess. Or they’d made themselves scarce. You turned the lights up a little further and kept walking, cautiously. Well - for one thing, the floor was now covered in broken glass and curious liquids… they should probably be tidied up at the very least. Good thing your drone was in a working mood. There was another sound from further in the lab that made you jump, and you turned towards it. KiTT made a sound of worry. “Hush, clear this away, I got it.” He beeped again, “I’ll be FINE. Cybernetic, remember!?” KiTT’s next beep caused you to glare at him, “Don’t use that tone with me-!” 

You made your way carefully over to the noise, stepping around the glass that had been spat all over the floor. You were sure it’d made its way to unknown reaches of the lab, and you should be careful where you were stepping. Sure, you wouldn’t bleed, but thanks to the upgrades it’d still hurt.  When you turned the corner, you came face to face with a huddled form. Your head tilted curiously; eyebrow raised. You recognised it alright: but it was more the mystery of how it got in here. It might well have been the source of the crash - after all, you wouldn’t think a penguin to be very careful in a lab. You were just thinking about how you were supposed to catch it and then tell your partner: “Well, a penguin got into the house, and then your lab somehow, and destroyed all your research. Sorry about that-!”, when it turned towards you and-

  “AGH-!!” This time you didn’t jump, although both of you were startled. Your eyes widened even further as you stared at him, on the verge of collapsing into laughter. “K?!” The laugh wavered in your voice and you tried to swallow it back, “What did you do?” Killian was very blunt about it; “Turned myself into a penguin, alright. Are you happy now?” “How?” - Trying not to laugh was having the opposite effect and he sighed. “Go on, laugh-!” You did, but still tried to make it muted, before taking a deep breath, “What the hell...? Did you try to copy Walter’s formula-!?” “Well, it didn’t work did it-!” “They are all pigeons; although this is appropriate for our living conditions.” You crouched beside him, “...I gotta say, it’s very cute.” “Shut up!” You knew, were he still human, he’d be red with both anger and embarrassment by now.  You reached out to delicately touch his feathers; it seemed, just like Sterling managed to retain the bow tie, Killian would retain the outlines of his suit. He swatted your hand away and hissed; “Stop it!” “Just take the antidote. I mean, it’s all over the desk, but I’m sure we can salvage some of it. I assume you are trying for a pigeon, right? Or maybe you aren’t; gotta say I prefer penguins.”  “Thanks.” He responded dryly.  You only grinned your ‘you’re welcome’ and then stood to walk back to his desk; even if KiTT had managed to clear everything by now, if Killian had all the data, creating another batch of antidote shouldn’t take too long, and you could enjoy him as a penguin for a few minutes... or hours... more. “No! Wait! Y/N!” He hissed again, flippers grabbing your leg. “What?” Killian gave you a look of significance. Your eyes narrowed; “You took it without making an antidote!?!” “I took it accidentally!! And I had an antidote, it just wasn’t perfected-! Now I’m stuck as a flightless bird-!” “Deadly in water though.” You mused, tilting your head – that was not well received. Killian grumbled, huffing something under his breath. “So, this isn’t Walter’s formula?” “No!” Although it didn’t look like he was prepared to admit it. And you weren’t sure exactly how he managed to take it ‘accidentally’. “I did it myself!” “Well, this part worked.” You continued walking though, which made him waddle after you as fast as he could, “WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?!” “Uhm, to get Walter. He’ll be able to fix this-!” “No!!” He got ahead of you and tried to push you backwards, you halted; you supposed you understood why he wouldn’t want to admit what he’d done. You thought Walter would actually love that Killian’s formula was at least correct, even if he couldn’t reverse it yet. “What are you going to do Killian? Perfect the antidote as a Penguin? Think about this-!” “I AM!” “Rationally.” You stooped again and gathered him in your arms, to which he squirmed until you set him on a clear desk. “He’s the only one who can help you.” “I can do this myself..!” “As a flightless bird?” He’d been the one to say it-! He sighed, but was still unwilling to concede. Folding his flippers across his chest and turning slightly away from you. You stroked a hand over his feathers again, and grumpy as he was, you felt Killian lean into your touch and smirked as you teased him. “We could be halfway to D.C. by now...” He turned to you, eyes narrowed, and pushed your fingers away again, gentler this time. “Fine. But not a word to anyone.” “I promise.” You placed your hand over your heart. “And don’t pick me up again. It’s embarrassing.” You raised an eyebrow, folding your own arms, “So... what are you going to do, waddle around after me?” “Yup.” Killian jumped down from the counter, sliding across the floor to the exit, passing KiTT who beeped curiously and looked to you. You gave a shrug and rolled your eyes. “You coming?” 

It didn’t take very long to gather all that you needed and throw yourselves into the helicopter. You thanked your lucky stars that he’d taught you how to fly this thing. Your eyes flicked back to those clouds, “KiTT what did the weather say?” He beeped the response; cold, very cold, chance of snow later but the clouds may have been long gone by then. What concerned you most was if the chopper would fly, he seemed to suggest you’d be fine. 

You took a deep breath and flicked all the switches to their correct positions before starting the ignition, blades whirring into life. Your penguin turned to you from his seat, where you’d firmly belted him in. “You sure you know what you’re doing!?! You have to get us all the way to Washington D.C.!” You glared at him, “You wanna try it in your current situation!? You taught me!!” Killian knew he had no choice but to concede. “Just be careful! Nothing reckless!” “Says the man that just turned himself into a Penguin-!” “It was accidental-!” His voice pitched. You placed your hands assuredly on the joystick and moved the helicopter steadily into the air and into higher altitudes. “Accidental my ass, how do you take something like that accidentally-!?” There was overwhelming silence and you knew you’d won again. But sighed, saying softer, “Look, it doesn’t matter...” You pulled out across the mountains and smiled at the blue sky out across your horizon line, the end of this grey was in sight-! “Walter will have you fixed into a sarcastic, Australian, pain-in-the-ass by the end of the day.” Even Killian couldn’t help but laugh at that.

How exactly did you end up in this mess? It’s probably best to go back to the beginning...

**

Shortly after the whole drone revenge plan had failed, you received an anonymous text telling you to bring a car to a building close to the Capitol Reflecting Pool and Washington Monument. It said nothing more than that, but it made you curious. Upon running it through KiTT and discovering it was from the Agency, your curiosity was only further piqued. And on the dot of the specified time, you were standing outside the building leaning against your car, shades on. To be honest you probably couldn’t have looked less inconspicuous, and you wondered if the Agency, in reality, were about to laugh at you for being so gullible and arrest you too. Well, you’d escaped from them before, and that was more than just a few upgrades ago.

 The doors of the building opposite slid open and your mouth was suddenly agape, you slid your shades slowly from your eyes, unable to hide your shock. Stepping into daylight - in a brand-new suit - was none other than Killian himself. 

His smile was gentle as he made his way down the steps to you, and your heart was hammering against your ribs. As Killian stopped in front of you, you couldn’t help yourself but throw your arms around him. “Am- am- am I here to pick you up!?” God I missed you, I missed you, I missed you… He chucked, returning your embrace, “I believe that’s the idea, yeah.” “They just let you go!?” Killian placed his right hand in his pocket and huffed, “Well. That’s not exactly it, I had to bargain my way out...” You surveyed him for a minute, all his cybernetics seemed intact; he didn’t look messed with. Running a full diagnostic would give you the whole picture, but you were puzzled. “What’s the price?” “Joining the good guys.” You pulled slightly back, “You’re working for the Agency!?” He gave a nod, “That’s the deal.” “Double cross all your acquaintances?” You smiled, leaning back against the car, “Does kinda sound like you... Oh. Wow. You’re an informant?”  “Not exactly.”  Your eyes widened further than you felt possible; “You’re an agent!?” “You got it.” But Killian’s smile slightly faded, “Y/N, I- I was only part of the bargain, though.” You understood him immediately, “Me? They want me.” “You’re an inspired scientist; your expertise in the fusion of human biology and robotics… not to mention AI- they can use that. It’s not really even me they want working with them, it’s you.” “You offered me up as a chip!?” You couldn’t help but be a little upset at him for that. “You’re the only chip I had to play!” Even by the desperate look on his face you shook your head, “No.” “I need you with me on this, you think I was gonna do it without you?” His hand reached for yours, and you didn’t pull away. “So, are we... a team?” “Well, about that—-” His eyes flicked over his shoulder and you both turned.

Standing in the doorway now - each with a wildly different expression on their face - were Walter, Lance and... you believed her name was Marcy. Your eyes flicked to his face and back to them. Walter was the only one that seemed to show any kind of joy; and he was ecstatic. You pushed back just about every swear word you could think of.  “You’re kidding me?”

**

He was not, in fact, kidding and after being hauled into a two-hour meeting - which you felt really explained nothing - you were essentially handed a file and an ultimatum.  Either you worked with them, or you were thrown in a maximum-security prison. You had to laugh, because you didn’t think this was exactly fair on you. And they had you between a rock and a hard place... Killian and you had always had the same vendetta against the Agency since Kyrgyzstan (maybe his a little more aggressive than yours), and you had a life outside all of this. You couldn’t afford not to take their offer. The Agency knew it.

That made you a lot less mad at him for signing you up, and you turned down the opportunity to vent to him on the drive back; “What do I call you now? Agent McFord!?” “Shut up!” The faint blush across his face made you smile and tease him again: “You do know all that James Bond stuff was a joke, right-!?”

It was one of your favourites. The two of you loved spy movies, unironically. And Killian really liked the classic Bond films, how any time he’d make himself a certain drink you’d come for him with the same joke: “Is that a martini!?” “Yes-??” He was always curious as to why that mattered, only for you to give a pointed smirk,  “Alright... James Bond!” And he laughed, hard. And you loved that sound, because it was such a rarity these days, “Surely in this situation Sterling is James Bond...?” Then you smirked again, and gave Killian your best flirty wink, “Not to me!” That seemed to always get you where you wanted. And wasn’t 007 known for his way with the ladies, after all?

Today in your car Killian did not raise to the bait, but you saw him shake his head as he stared out the window.  “So, are you going by Tristan or Killian…?” There was a little smile on his face as he continued to stare at the scenery, “I’ll leave that up to you…” Your sudden gasp had him looking back to you as something else gelled in your brain; “Wait does that mean I get to say I’m dating a secret agent!?” “Oh god.” His groan was quiet and you were already grinning, enjoying yourself even more. “You should never have agreed to this!” “Clearly.” “Wait—!” You turned to him in absolute joy, “Can you just put on a British accent for like five minutes-!?” “NO!” And you noticed how he managed to accent his Australian to new levels.  Clearly his childhood wish to be James Bond was getting fulfilled, but he wasn’t about to play into it for your whims...

You’d figure out how to break that will before long-!

**

It took Killian a little more time than he would have liked to convince you that his deal was a good one. You were basically flat out refusing to work for them, doing the bare minimum you possibly could get away with; it felt too much like coercion to you, and they must have known how much you stood to lose.

 His first track was to use Walter; with both similar approaches to science & technology and similar levels of enthusiasm for it, the work it would be possible for you to do together would be nothing short of incredible, and both of you knew it. You acknowledged Killian was right, but it wasn’t something you fell for. The files Killian gave you, the access to read about the technology... that interested you. The potential to further yourself in your own field, even if it had to be done with the Agency, was a good draw. But still not enough.

So Killian did the one thing he could, and played the last card he had left. Himself. Baiting you with his own fate. “If they say I’m not doing my job and throw me back where I came from, what then?” You hated him for it, hated even more that he had a point. Hated yourself for having to admit you couldn’t be without him. You’d almost gone stir crazy between his arrest and picking him up. You couldn’t stand to think of it being any longer than that.  Too much of a pain point, your one line. You’d both lost enough; you refused to let yourselves lose each other.

You did not become an agent though. Your role was strictly technology and it confined you to the labs. Which you had to be honest, you enjoyed. And because you had your own job – and were a name the industry knew well – you weren’t a full time Agency employee. Your research saved lives – was the reason you still had yours – the Agency couldn’t exactly stop you working on good conscience. Even better! The tension in the team didn’t really let up, but the combination of the four of you (and Marcy and co when necessary) worked well. You all got more done than any other team in the Agency. 

Still, the enjoyment of working alone, or with Walter, didn’t stop you from itching to get out there or complaining about it to Killian. “Oh. I see I’m not an agent.” “Less expendable than I.” “Out of me and you, how am I-” “You have a reputation beyond the Agency and they know it. You’re the poster child of cybernetics. They did it to save your brain; didn’t you tell me that yourself?” “You made this...” You indicated to the parts of your body that were, indeed, cybernetic. “Yes, I did.” He touched his forehead to yours, “but the top half of you is flesh and blood and I do not possess the brain you do. For now, you’re best staying in the lab.” Walter didn’t stay in the lab and it made you antsy; running around with Killian or getting to do stuff for him was half the fun.

And eventually you whined enough to get to accompany him on missions, even though you still didn’t get to be an agent.

You had a few style tips for your 007 too. In the same vein as Lance Sterling, Killian’s crisp new Agency suit was complete with bow tie and dazzlingly white shirt. You couldn’t help yourself, looking him over. Oh, sure, Killian looked great, but he didn’t look like him. As you strolled over, Killian stood still and as tall as possible: his obvious thought was that you we’re going to straighten his bow tie. Not a chance! Instead, you unfurled it and threw the fabric to one side, proceeding to undo one... two... you hovered over the third button. Killian placed his hand over yours, “Isn’t that enough?” He should have known that was a fatal mistake to say; “For me? No!” You took a step back with a smile, at the creased eyebrow and small frown look on his face, surveying your handy work: “Mmm. That’s more you. Agent McFord.” And so this was how he started to wear his suits, and before long that signature blue shirt found its way back into the mix, much to your delight.

It was on these missions together that you both became curious in Walter’s biomolecular tech. You from a purely scientific fascination. He had Sterling turning from man to pigeon left, right and centre. And the two of you had drones (now equipped with AI), but even you didn’t have anything like that. Clearly Killian’s interest had become a little more than just the spectacle and scientific theory though.

No, clearly he’d tried to replicate it for himself. And the result hasn’t exactly gone as planned. You supposed he wasn’t about to allow Lance to one up him for the rest of his Agency career - however long that lasted. And Killian wanted to get back on level footing without Walters help; he wanted to do it himself.

And it had worked, a very valiant attempt, but he hadn’t finished his antidote or had miscalculated somewhere... And that was how you had all ended up in a helicopter flying yourself to the Agency labs, with a penguin in the passenger seat.

Yet with what you’d seen working here, this just seemed like a typical day!

***

You landed to the best of your ability, ignoring his slight glare of annoyance at the small bump as you set the helicopter down. You would call that trip a success. You stared at the heavy doors in front of you and gathered your pass; you heard KiTT behind you and his metallic fussing as he switched himself into all the correct safety modes and access clearances for the Agency. That you had done yourself; you didn’t trust Killian with KiTT, did they really think they would get the go ahead to touch him? Turning to Killian you cleared your throat; “You gotta act like a penguin remember-! So don’t talk to me! Or do anything a penguin wouldn’t do!” “What wouldn’t a penguin do!?” You unclipped his seatbelt. Well, you supposed a researcher would know, or someone that worked with them closely in a zoo. But he couldn’t just guess the Agency’s experience. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise you if he knew everyone in it inside out by now. “Look, I don’t know. But don’t make me talk to you, I’m going to look like an insane person-!” Realising that you were both still talking to each other you shared the same ‘shut up!’ look before agreeing not to talk with a silent nod, and with both KiTT and penguin Killian trailing you, you headed across the helipad with your Agency pass. 

Here we go again...

God, you hated this building.  Most times you’d been out here it hadn’t been for any good reason - and you still didn’t feel particularly safe within it. And so many people… Even when you worked your legitimate job you usually worked alone - or with people you actually liked - you could talk to yourself or KiTT and run your mouth, or talk things through without anyone answering you.  Everyone at the Agency had an opinion. When it was just you and Walter it was okay, and Killian was right, you liked him. But sometimes other people got involved and it got messy. To the point where Walter would gingerly steer you from the room before you really went off at someone.

You keyed yourself in; immediately scanned by the Agency’s automatic sensors, the switch turned green and the door swung open for you. You hesitated for a moment and looked down to Killian. “I know you’re gonna hate this, but I’m going to have to carry you through security. I think that’s all there is for it.” You didn’t let him answer as you picked him up but, as before, Killian protested by squirming in your arms as you walked down the hall to the security area. “Geez, now I look like I’m smuggling in a penguin…”

You gained some funny looks for doing so, but you need only say the word research and they let you through with him. As you turned into the next corridor, through the next security door and it all looked empty, Killian nipped at your fingers; “OW! Okay… Geez-!” You put him back on the ground, only for him to shake out his ruffled feathers with a ‘humph!’ The corridors remained silent as you took the long way down to the research centre. And Killian switched from waddling to sliding around on his stomach. You watched with curiosity; you supposed that was faster for him than trying to keep up with you. You turned to KiTT with a raised eyebrow, only to see him also focused with puzzlement on the penguin. Knowing you weren’t about to get anything sensible out of your drone, you spoke once again to your boyfriend: “Is that easier to move, or is it just fun?” Killian barely glanced up at you, but you knew the look he was giving: ‘you’re the one that said don’t talk!’ He was right, but this corridor was empty, the last 10 corridors had been empty! “Geez you can just nod.” You were met with nearly exactly the same look, before he paused, nodded, and carried on his sliding.   “It’s fun? You are too cute.”

It took you until the next door for him to stand up and retaliate, but when Killian did, he smacked your leg as best he could with his flipper; you could only laugh.

***

You wandered cautiously through the laboratory and he stayed close; perhaps you should have checked that Walter was actually in today. You could already hear the stirring of whispers, and KiTT beeped in acknowledgement. You glanced to him, “Tell them to shut the hell up then!” His beep was a little louder in annoyance, and you rolled your eyes, but he began flying ominously over the heads of the other scientists and chatter stopped, work resumed. You smiled to yourself; everyone was scared of KiTT because of what they knew Killian’s drones had been capable of. KiTT was harmless, and had no weaponry, but they didn’t need to know that. You quite enjoyed how scared they got sometimes. Served them right for the majority of it. You were a little overcome with joy to see that Walter was indeed in his lab, and even more happy to see that Lance was nowhere to be found. You gave him a wave as you knocked on his door and received a big smile back. “Y/N! I didn’t know you were coming in today!” “Unplanned, I do confess. But it’s good to see you Walter!” “Well, it’s lovely to see you too! You working?” “Actually I came to ask a favour…” “Oh!” He straightened in his chair as he swung it towards you, large blue eyes curious, “What is it?” “Your bio-molecular technology?” “Yes.” It was at this point he noticed the penguin, and you could see the million questions racing in his mind, so you opted to continue quick before he got a chance to ask them. “Is that just for Lance? Would it work on anyone? You must have the formula, right? Is there any chance I can take a look? Both for the transformation process and the antidote to it. I mean you guys are using it all the time.” “Uuuhhhh…” Now you’d given Walter a million questions, and his eyes kept flicking downwards to your companion. “Well, I…Yes, I guess I could…. show you how to… Do you want to do this with a penguin?” “Ignore the penguin.” 

Walter tried to keep his eyes on you, especially as the look you were giving him was serious, but eventually they trailed back to the bird at your feet. He studied it for a while and ignored you trying to protest him disregarding what you’d said. He leant forward on his chair, “Killian?” Instead of acting as he was supposed to, your partner became immediately angry. “Not a WORD to Sterling, or I SWEAR-!!” Instead, Walter lit up with a gasp, “You perfected your own formula!?! That’s so amazing—!! Colour me impressed-! Well, I could make what I made for him, so you can turn pretty much at will-!! Well-” He turned to you with a smile, “with some assistance of course-!” “A secret agent penguin!” The idea was funny to you, but at the same time you couldn’t help but love it. Killian immediately protested, “NO-! THATS STUPID, WE ARE NOT—!” You nudged him with your foot to shut him up, before continuing a sensible track of conversation, “First off, I suppose we should get the formula done. Then we can think about what we want to do with it afterward.” “All you need is the antidote right? I can get right on that… but, Killian, I’m going to need your help with what you did…” Walter spun back to the computer and began typing away, “Pull up a seat you two!” You dragged one across, and Killian scrambled up onto your lap; “I don’t have my formula, but KiTT could probably download it. He has a satellite uplink to the lab back home.” Walter nodded, “That’ll do, I’ll have to make sure the antidote coincides… I can’t promise this will be short though, you might be stuck like that for a few more hours.” “Hours!?” Killian sounded exasperated but turned to your assistance drone: “KiTT, see if you can link back to the lab and access file F-BMP5. Then send it across to Walter.” KiTT, glad of something to do, bleeped happily and set to work. “Sorry buddy.” Walter replied softly, “A penguin though, I’m impressed.” “Not entirely easy to find birds where we live.” This caused you to chime in, “Genuinely there are penguins up there?” “If you know where to look.” “Huh!” You smiled gently, “You’ll have to show me!”

Walter worked as quickly and carefully as possible, and as you suspected people were fascinated.  Everyone who passed couldn’t resist knocking on the door and asking what a penguin was doing here. Some even having the nerve to ask, ‘Is that penguin talking?’ By the time the last one had enquired you were up by the door: “NO!” and slamming it back in their face. Walter took precautions to lock you all in here and frost the glass for privacy after that. 

Killian remained in your lap, and you held him close, stroking your fingers through his feathers again, this time he didn’t seem to mind too much, and at times when you paused, he would nuzzle against your hands to get you to continue. Though you knew he would never admit it. As he continued working on the antidote, Walter again brought up the possibility of using this ultimate spy tech regularly. Killian didn’t seem keen, but you wondered if you could get him to warm to the idea… “I’m sure that we could find a little suit jacket for you in that form.” He glared back at you, “You’re enjoying this a little too much, aren’t you?” “A little, yeah!” You grinned in admittance, making him turn to Walter. “It’s a hard no from me.” “Aw, Killian, c’mon!” That only made Walter chuckle, “Let him get used to it Y/N, he’ll like it eventually, Lance did.” “You mean just leave him like this for a while?” Walter grinned, “Something like that!” Killian spluttered, stamping his foot against your leg; “YOU TWO PUT ME BACK RIGHT NOW!”

When Walter had the serum made up, he walked you both into another lab to perform the procedure. Killian let you carry him. “You can drink it if you want, but I’d like to run a few tests.” “Meaning what?” “I mean, if I put you under anaesthetic… I can check a few things.” “Is that usual?” “No but it’s your first time, and Lance’s wasn’t a pleasant experience I just want to make sure you’re okay, or Y/N will kill me.” Killian narrowed his eyes at both of you, standing there trying to look so innocent. “Fine. If I wake up and I’m not human again, I’m going to kill both of you.” Walter winced, however you only smirked; “Noted!”

***

When Killian awoke again, he was indeed human. But he was not in a lab in Washington D.C. instead he was in bed, back in the mountain top hideout. Had he really been out that long? Or was whatever drug used in the anaesthetic or antidote so strong he simply couldn’t remember anything else. He stretched, glad his head wasn’t spinning, and walked into the bathroom. Skimming his fingers up the side of his neck he pressed down on the projection switch. Killian checked this every morning as routine; that the system worked, that there were no problems with the metal, or his eye. This morning, nothing worked. He straightened up with a frown and tried again. Nothing. Killian rushed through the house; “Y/N! Y/N!” He sounded panicked, making you shake your head and call him through. “In the main room, babe.” He ran the rest of the way, “Y/N, my projection isn’t working!” You turned to him slowly, crooked, amused smile on your face; as if you were trying to hold back a laugh. “Are you sure? Why don’t you check again?” This time Killian was more careful, fingers sliding up his neck tentatively. He paused, realising that he couldn’t even feel the switch. It no longer existed. His eyes flew wide, voice quiet; “You- you- fixed it!” You grinned, smile slowly spreading across your face as you nodded, “Yes! So now you have a complete face!” He sprinted the rest of the way to you, grabbing you into a hug. You couldn’t help laughing, throwing your arms around him too as Killian buried his face in his shoulder, “You can cry now too! But please don’t! I would feel terrible!” “How-!?” “Turns out I can pick up a thing or two… Called in a few favours...” He pulled back and you framed his face with your hands, stroking your thumbs over his cheeks, “The Agency have better tech, but I never admitted that out loud. I’ve been wanting to do it for a little while but… Walter finally gave me the opportunity.” “...Thank you.” “Oh, don’t you start.” You indicated to yourself, “I have far more to thank you for.” You gestured to his robotic arm, “I thought… maybe I’d leave that. That was a feat of engineering y’know?” He laughed, “One thing at a time, huh?” “Yes!” You agreed with a nod.

Killian tugged away from you for a moment, and studied your clothes. He was in luck; they were the ones you had been wearing at the labs. Although, as he glanced to the colour of the sky perhaps it wasn’t the morning after all, perhaps it was later in the same day. It was snowing, though, so that weather prediction had been correct. Killian couldn’t be sure when it was exactly, but it was imperative you were wearing these clothes. “I just need to do something.” You were confused as he got closer to you. “What?” “Don’t get too excited.” He ran his hand down your body to the pocket of your jeans. “I mean, I can’t help get excited, you’re here and touching me.” “Stop it.” Although Killian smirked, slipping his hand into your pocket. You stilled, and your features pulled into a highly suggestive look as your eyes scanned his; “I mean, I have questions, Agent McFord.” He rolled his eyes at you as he fished a small disk drive out of your pocket. “…Wait!” You gasped, moment broken, “What the hell is that!? Where did you get that!?” You patted yourself down suddenly, “Killian-!” He closed his hand around it and beckoned you with him, turning to walk back to the labs, you hurried after him, “No one was paying much attention to the Penguin, were they!” “Wait! Seriously! What is that?” “Shush, you’ll see.” He plugged it into his computer and you waited patiently for it to boot up before you found yourself gasping again; “Is that… The Agency’s entire weapons tech!?” “Yup.” You whipped around to him, hands on his desk, “ARE YOU DOUBLE CROSSING THE AGENCY!” “Kinda.” His face was fairly nonchalant as his eyes held yours again. “Killian!” You couldn’t believe this was happening. After all that talk, and trying to persuade you into this. “After what they did...” He transposed the files, “are you really THAT surprised?” You folded your arms, hating that he had a point, “...Well no. But I... thought you might be a little more discreet.” “What they don’t know won’t hurt them - besides a few months ago you were telling me I was double crossing all the people I worked with, so is it double crossing a double cross or is it simply that I’m an effective double agent?” “... That’s a lot of doubles.” “Mm.” “I figure that’s not what the programme and agreement of your release was for. K, if they find out…” He tipped his head, eyes very nearly pleading with you. “I’m not covering for you!” “Accomplice?” “Not in your wildest dreams!” You were grinning - but maybe grimacing, because you thought perhaps you’d get caught up in this too, being part of his damn agreement - and Killian already knew he’d got away with it. You were going to be there for him no matter what he did and no matter what happened, you’d made that promise too long ago and you’d never break it. Not after what you’d been through together. You folded your arms again, “I won’t rat on one condition.” His eyes rolled, “What could that be?” “If you’ll agree to use Walter’s biomolecular tech, penguin yourself on missions in the same way Lance does his pigeon transformation.” Killian scoffed, “How?!” You were sure he wished he didn’t ask as you produced a collection of vials from a table across the lab. Killian’s face fell slightly. “You did not.” “Oh, we did!” “That’s most certainly punishment.” You indicated to the screen, “Someone brought this upon himself.”

There was silence, before he began chuckling, pulling you into his arms gently - and you were only too happy to accept his hug and a kiss to your forehead. “Geez. The things I do for you!” You moved to catch his lips delicately in ‘thanks’. Oh yeah, like you couldn’t say the same thing!

---

Thank you for reading the penultimate fic of the year! 😁

[alex51324]

Thomas and the Island of the Gays, excerpt #3

Thomas endeavors to understand the appeal of camping.

(Content note:  Early-20th-century racial attitudes and language.  There’s a whole running theme in this episode about Mr. Braceridge (the former Scoutmaster) being a huge woodcraft nerd, and his husband, Father Timothy, constantly having to rein him in.  Unfortunately, Scouting/woodcraft culture of the time was infused what might best be described as “patronizing admiration” of Indigenous Americans.  He means well, but it is, as they say on Tumblr, problematic.  TL;DR, he talks a lot about “Red Indians,” and it should be understood that he is referring to the Indian of the white imagination.)  

***

The room was even dimmer than the parlor-slash-dining-room, until Richard lit a candle that was stuck in a bracket by the door.  Thomas was relieved to see the promised bunks, two sets stacked atop each other like the berths in a railway sleeping car.  Each berth had a striped tick—stuffed with straw, as Thomas determined when he poked one—and a stack of folded blankets, most in Army khaki.  

Thomas was undecided about whether he wanted an upper berth or a lower one, until Morrow put his pack on one of the lower berths, saying, “Wilberforce can’t climb.”  

Thomas was as fond of dogs as the next person, but he didn’t wish to be joined in the night by a wet and smelly one.  He claimed the berth above Morrow’s.  “No sheets?” he asked Richard, unfolding the blankets.

“Apparently rugged backwoodsmen don’t need them,” said Richard, starting to make up one of the lower bunks for himself.  

“Lovely.”  It could have been much worse—a trench, for example—but Thomas didn’t think he’d ever understand why anyone would subject themselves to primitive living conditions when they didn’t have to.  

When they returned to the main room, the fireplace boasted a candle-sized flame, into which Mr. Braceridge was feeding needled-sized twigs, and Father Timothy was saying, “Well, as you have that under control, I’ll just go and see to things in the cottage, shall I? Perhaps someone could put the kettle on,” he added.

Richard volunteered to do so, and Thomas, lacking any better ideas, went along to help him with the pump. Father Timothy had picked up his and Mr. Braceridge’s packs and was carrying them toward the ramshackle cottage. “They’re staying in there?” he asked. It barely looked habitable.  

Richard, working the stiff pump handle, nodded.  “I had a look inside last time I was here—it’s a bit cozier than it looks. Father Tim figures it was the gamekeeper’s cottage.”  

Thomas wasn’t sure that was much to recommend it, but didn’t argue.  The pump, at last, began to flow, and once the kettle was full, they went back inside and began the process of coaxing the Primus stove into life. Fortunately, Thomas had used something similar in the War, and this one, having been stored out of the damp, was less fiddly than some.

Over a late luncheon or early tea of cold meat and bread, the group discussed what they would do with the rest of the afternoon.  Thomas was a bit alarmed to hear Miles and James express their hopes that the rain would slow down enough to allow a little shooting, and Henry declare that he was going fishing whether the rain slowed down or not.

“Didn’t you say we’d stay inside and play cards if it rained?” Thomas asked Richard, under his breath.

“This lot seems a little keener than the ones that came last time,” Richard whispered back.  

“I’m going to stay here and read,” Morrow declared flatly, and remained firm in the face of Mr. Braceridge’s suggestions that he borrow a fishing rod, or at least walk along with the shooters.  

“John,” said Father Timothy, “he is a grown man; I daresay he can make up his own mind.”  Turning to Morrow, he added, “Only I do hope you won’t find it dull.”

“Thomas and I will stay as well, and keep him company,” Richard said brightly.  

“There, that’s settled,” Father Timothy said.  “What about you, Victor?”

“I think I’ll stick close to General Headquarters as well,” he said, stroking his beard.  “There’s plenty I can sketch from the veranda, without risking spoiling my sketchbooks.”

“In that case,” the vicar said, “I’ll show Henry where the best fishing spots are.  You’ll go with the others, won’t you?” he asked Mr. Braceridge.

“Yes, yes,” he said, then brightened.  “I’ll take my bow and arrow.  You chaps will be interested in this,” he informed Miles and James.  “I learnt the art from an American Scoutmaster, who learnt it from a Red Indian….”

He went on talking about archery and Red Indians at some length, and insisted on Miles and James learning the rudiments of what he said was the sign language used by Red Indian hunters to communicate without alerting the prey to their presence.  

As they got up from the table, Richard volunteered himself and Thomas to do the washing-up.  Once the rugged outdoorsmen had left, he explained, “Mr. Braceridge is quite keen on everyone doing his share of the camp chores. Best to keep ahead of it—lowers your chances of being stuck with something nobody wants to do.”

“I see,” Thomas said, though he privately wondered if the gentlemen in the group would really end up doing any of it.  

As they heated the washing up water, Richard also explained, “They went with the others and left us on our own because four is probably enough not to get up to any hanky-panky, but in an hour or so Father Tim will toddle back on some pretext or another to make sure we haven’t paired off.”

An hour would have been more than enough time with anyone Thomas had ever paired off with, but he only said, “Noted.”

“He isn’t terribly pleased by gambling, either,” Richard added.  “Not there’s much that makes sense to play with only two.  Last time, we had to play for matches.”  

“Those might be valuable property out here,” Thomas noted, with a glance at the fireplace.  

Richard nodded.  “We’d best make sure not to let it go out.”

The washing-up finished, they went over to the parlor area, where Morrow was already ensconced in the most comfortable-looking chair, with his book.  The mantelpiece held a small selection of indoor amusements—a worn deck of cards, a draughts board, a few books, and a fairly dire-looking jigsaw puzzle. After ascertaining that Morrow was not at all interested in playing cards, they opted for draughts, setting up the board on a camp stool.  

As they started the first game—and as Thomas tried to remember what little draughts strategy he had ever bothered to know—Richard said, “Admit it—I was right, wasn’t I?”

“About what?” Thomas asked.

“That it’s rather pretty here.”

Thomas hadn’t really been paying much attention.  “Oh, yes. It’s nice.”

“I’d never done this sort of thing before—unless you count going with my employer to his shooting lodge—but I think I rather like it.”  

“As long as you don’t swear off matches and start wearing a pith helmet,” Thomas said, without thinking.

Fortunately, Richard took it in good spirit.  “No, I won’t get that carried away.”

**  And a bit later **

Their walk took them over to the stream, which ran down the hillside with some speed, tumbling over rocks and making a considerable racket, then slowed down and spread out below the camp-site.  Wilberforce nosed along the bank for a bit, before suddenly scrambling down and entering the water with a sizeable splash.  Thomas glanced at Morrow, who did not look alarmed.  “Can he swim?”

“He’d better,” said Morrow.

Wilberforce paddled over to a rock that stuck out from the middle of the stream, climbed up on it, and assumed a heroic stance, forepaws on the highest bit of rock and water streaming from his fur.  He barked, a single sharp yap, and a moment later the rest of them heard voices coming up the path from the other direction.  

“—bit better up at the loch,” Mr. Braceridge was saying. “Have you got a fly-rod?”

Mr. Braceridge’s voice was the one that carried best, but Thomas made out a few other things, about fly-rods and deer, and another mention of the loch.  

“We’ll have to see what the others think,” said Father Timothy.  “They must be nearby, since we heard little Wilberforce.”

“Over here!” Richard called, and after a few moments of rustling, the rest of the party popped into view, on the other side of the stream.  Wilberforce hopped down from his rock and clambered up the other bank, going from one person to the next and sniffing at their trousers.

“Ah, good,” said Mr. Braceridge.  “There’s an expedition in the works—track the river to its source, what?”

Father Timothy translated, “If the weather’s fine tomorrow, we thought we’d walk up to the lake.”

“Good fishing up there,” Mr. Braceridge amplified.  “And shooting.”

“All right by me,” said Richard, and glanced at Thomas and Morrow, who made noises of vague agreement.

Mr. Braceridge started talking about sorting out stores and oiling rifles, but Father Timothy spoke over him.  “Perhaps you chaps wouldn’t mind popping the kettle on—we’ve got to go around the long way, to get to a place we can cross.”  

Mr. Braceridge took a step closer to the bank, eying the rocks that dotted the stream.  “Could make it here—hop from rock to rock.”

“You’ll fall in and catch your death,” said Father Timothy, tugging him back from the bank.  Mr. Braceridge didn’t look particularly impressed by this argument, until the vicar added, “And if the others were foolish enough to follow you, they’d spoil their guns.”  

With that, Mr. Braceridge assented.  Morrow whistled for Wilberforce, who splashed back through the stream to them, and they started back for the bunkhouse.  

“It’s only supposed to be about an hour’s walk up to the loch,” Richard told them as they walked. “I didn’t see it last time, since it rained the whole time.”

“I don’t mind going,” Thomas said, since it sounded as though Richard wanted to.  

“Is anyone going to ask if I mind?” Morrow asked.  

“You can read there just as well as anywhere else,” Richard pointed out.  “The rest of them will be too busy shooting and fishing to bother you.”

“Oh, all right,” said Morrow, resignedly.

[purplesurveys]

766

My dad is starting to gear me up for ~adult life~ and has made me start a Paypal, a social security number, and all that jazz and it’s making me immensely anxious, so expect more surveys than usual in the next few days lmao.

How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? Not frequent at all. I’ll read only if I have to; and when it comes to reading for leisure, I’ll only reread books I’ve already read in the past. I find it sad considering how big of a bookworm I was as a kid. When was the last time you questioned the direction your life was taking? Right now, what with the Covid crisis. My life would have been mapped out ever so neatly if my life’s schedule went as expected - finish the sem, finish my thesis, graduate, travel for a bit, get a job. Now that that has been thrown out the window I essentially have to start from scratch and go into the world blind. And if you've been reading my surveys, you’ll know my least favorite thing to have to deal with is big change. Would you say that your personal views align with society's, generally? Not the society I have no choice but to be surrounded by, which is mostly Catholic, homophobic, sexist, and just very backwards in general. But when it comes to people I voluntarily choose to be with, like the friends I make and the people I follow on social media, I make sure their views are as liberal as mine so I don’t go completely crazy. ^ If not, in what ways do your opinions drastically differ? I just said it, but yeah Filipinos continue to be very resistant to more open-minded, modern views. Girls will still often be told to cover up, religions other than Christianity are viewed as wrong and of lower status, abortion is the most scandalous thing a woman could do, drug addicts must be handled with bullets and not rehab, etc. Basically everything you can roll your eyes over, that’s what Filipinos will tend to side with; and it’s very difficult to want to have your voice heard here because you will be ridiculed and thrown Bible verses instead of legit arguments. What small things have the ability to get under your skin? People who only start picking their orders once they’re the ones at the cashier, drivers who do have their turn signal on but will go THE OTHER DIRECTION, finding out there’s a car accident and I find out traffic has been building up only because drivers slow down to look at the crash site. The last one makes me especially mad every time it happens lol.

When was the last time you were caused to be upset with someone? I haven’t been upset with anyone in a while. If I’m upset these days, blame it on the weather. ^ Have you made up with that individual yet, or will you ever? I will never be ok with the summer climate over here. What is something small that has the ability to cure a bad mood? Hearing a favorite song on the radio as I’m driving, hitting all the green lights while driving, finding a parking spot near the mall entrance... man I really miss going out :(( What beverage is best capable of quenching your thirst? Water. What was the last big change through which you went? It hasn’t happened yet but I’ll be graduating and will officially be done with school forever in a few weeks. I mean, that’s the case unless I decide to take up a master’s but honestly the chances of that are super blurry as I’m over school at this point. ^ Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? I am honestly terrible at it and as much as I’m excited to get my first real job, I’m also scared to see how my adjustment pans out. I’ve had a pattern for not being able to adapt well to a new phase – I didn’t adjust in high school until my junior year, and I didn’t adjust in college until the latter half of my sophomore year. I really wish the trend doesn’t continue in the workplace because I can’t handle another mental slump. How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? I feel nothing? I mean I need the internet to do almost everything so it’s just become a part of daily routine; it’s normalized already. I would tend to feel some shame if I’ve been unproductive online when I could’ve been doing much more important stuff, but I’ve been avoiding that - I’ve been working on my thesis again, working on stuff for my org, participating in my other extracurriculars, etc. I feel relatively productive given the current circumstances. What do you consider to be the biggest drawback to being you? Like I said, I’m terrible with change. It takes forever for me to warm up to new conditions, and in that period I tend to feel very alone and miserable. I don’t know why I’ve never learned to just get out and make friends earlier. What do you consider the best part of being who you are? ^ Related to said drawback, once I have adjusted to the change, I do very well. I make lots of friends and am back to being my bubbly, social self. I just wish She could come out more easily. What kinds of things do you have on display in your room? Several Audrey Hepburn frames, a couple of paintings, and a poster of a Korean actor. What do you think your room and its contents say about you, if anything? I think more than anything you’ll see how my interests have shifted over the years haha. There’s tons of old WWE magazines, Paramore albums, Beyoncé albums and DVDs, crafty stuff like painting sets and coloring books, etc. When was the last time you felt insecure about something/some situation? Half hour ago when my dad was encouraging me to register for a bunch of grownup stuff. He doesn’t pester me a lot in small bits everyday (which I would really prefer); he’s more of a I’ll-dump-all-this-shit-on-you-in-one-go kind of person, which pressures me even more. I mean I’m excited for this new chapter but I wish he didn’t tell me to start a bank account and a Paypal and a social security number and a TIN all at the same time. What is something about which you are very confident or self-assured? I pride myself on being a good worker/co-worker. Do you ever stop to contemplate infinity? No. Are you comfortable amongst nature, or does the wilderness discomfit you? Sure, it makes me feel at peace. When was the last time someone or something caught you off guard? Andrew did a buuuunch of progress on our thesis this afternoon after a few days of passive-aggressively telling him that I’ve been doing all the work in the last week. How much time do you put into maintaining your appearance and hygiene? I don’t want to take a lot of time since I’m usually on a tight schedule but I do put enough effort to look and smell nice, if that makes sense. Like I wouldn’t take hours to do my makeup and put up an intricate hairdo, but I will still make sure I don’t exit the house looking shabby. Are there any foods you eat daily? . . . Or wish you could? I have rice and some sort of meat everyday. When was the last time someone new entered your life? Start of the semester when we had a new wave of applicants joining our org. ^ What was your first impression of that individual? They all seemed nice and fun to be around, and I’m glad their batch has had amazing chemistry from the get-go. But because of the lockdown I never got to know them all that well so I’m a little sad about it, since I’m already graduating. Do you put much thought into your handwriting? No? It’s not really something I can control anyway haha. What are some of the top priorities in your life right now? Ugh I’ve talked about this so much on here that it’s almost stupid because I take these surveys to begin with to distract myself from my current anxieties only for the surveys to ask about said anxieties ksksksks. Can I say pass for now? Lol In general, how do you feel about romantic relationships? They’re nice, and it feels good to have a person you can share everything to, be affectionate with, who supports you in everything, etc. I’ve been used to being in one for so long now I honestly can’t imagine being single. Which emotional sensation inconveniences or bothers you the most? As if I haven’t talked about it on this single survey enough, anxiety. Are you capable of consoling others in their grief? It depends on how bad is the thing they’re grieving and how accepting they are of help. I don’t know if I’m capable of talking to someone who has lost a parent, but I’ll be able to talk to a friend who’s going through a breakup. Do you ever find it awkward to compliment another being? No. I can give compliments, but I’m unable to take them. When was the last time you had a new experience? What was it? Earlier this afternoon when my dad made me make a Paypal hahaha. Skskss plz stop reminding me of scary things Do you dress more for yourself, or to the expectations of others? A little bit of both. I want to look nice, but I also make sure I keep up with the trends so others think I look nice. What kinds of things tend to stress you out? The stuff I’ve mentioned throughout this survey... What is one way you cope when you feel like crap? I watch videos, I eat whatever I’m craving, I talk about it with my girlfriend, I hug my dog... I have a lot of coping mechanisms.

Name an insult you regularly receive, if there is one? My mom tells me so many insults on a regular basis I can put each one of them in a spinning wheel and give you whatever comes out lol. Name a site that takes up a lot of your time? YouTube. What is something you used to believe about life that you no longer do? That money was easy to acquire. It was certainly so easy to fantasize about as a kid. What is a lesson you have recently learned? I don’t recall picking up anything new lately. Realizations, sure; but I’m not sure about lessons. Do you have a tendency to look on the morbid side of life? Sometimes. When was the last time you went shopping? What did you buy? A weekend before the quarantine. I bought a couple of new tops. When you shop for clothing, how long does it take you? 10-15 minutes tops. I just pick out whatever looks pretty. What is something fun you have done within the past week? It’s been a horrid week. I can’t answer this question. What is something you hope you never have to do again? Stay at home with nothing to do for this long. How does the rain affect your mood, if it does? It makes me feel happy and at peace.

[riding-alpacas]

Tierra del Fuego

My route through Patagonia leads me from south to north - starting in the southernmost city of the world: Ushuaia. As usual in South America there are some debates if this is really the southernmost city, given that there are a few more towns and villages further south in Chile. Population wise it certainly is one of the bigger southernmost places.

I didn't have the highest expectations when I came here. Ushuaia is clearly a very busy, touristy place in summer. Lots of cruise ships stop here and it is also the starting point for Antarctica expeditions. I considered doing one of those as well, but when I researched the cost and what kind of trip it would be, I backed off. They are ridiculously expensive and pretty much all of them are targeting a more senior audience. If Antartica still exists when I'm 60, I might consider it again at that age.

Closer to Straya than to Canada

On my first day there was only a limited amount of people in the hostel. Well, that's what I thought. It turned out that during the day almost nobody was in the hostel ever. In the mornings and evenings though the place was buzzing. In one of the Backpacker groups on Facebook I found Corinna who also just arrived in Ushuaia and was looking for hiking buddies. During the following days we spent the majority of our time together as we got along really well. It's a shame that we have very different plans for our time after Ushuaia, but we figured that we might meet again in Central America.

The first hike we attempted was the one to Laguna Esmeralda. It gave me a first taste of the landscape so far south on our wonderful planet. If I'd have to describe it with one word it would definitely be rugged. There is something quite harsh but beautiful about the environment here - which makes sense, given that we had hardly more than 15 degrees during the day and it's basically winter down here most of the time. The tree line is super low (500m or so), the brownish colour above it is quite unique and the mountain peaks are just spectacular. And best of all, it's all pretty much untouched.

Felt a bit like Lord of the Rings

The hike itself was a lot of fun but not only due to the beautiful surroundings. It was muddy like hell. Parts of it led through peat bogs which I never hiked through before. First we both tried to avoid getting into the mud as much as possible by doing ridiculous detours (we actually almost got lost on the first 500m in) but for me at least the tolerance limit got lower pretty quick. My boots were waterproof and in my hostel they had boot brush cleaners anyway. Walking through peat bogs was pretty weird at first. They have a spongy, springy texture and no matter how dry they look, once you step on it you basically press out a lot of water. The lake itself was pretty nice. Many of the lakes I saw in Canada had the same blue, milky colour but that doesn't make it any less beautiful. Unfortunately I wasn't super lucky with the weather during the whole week but again: It's still just beautiful being out there in the spectacular outdoors of the Land of Fire.

A little bit of mud

Mystic

Next day was rest day. And rest day usually means checking out town and its museums. The first museum I tried was an old prison that Ushuaia is famous for. They've split it up into multiple sections, grouped by topic. I was very disappointed. Firstly, it was totally overpriced and secondly it was just... random. I expected some sort of golden thread when walking through the different prison cells but it felt just like a random collection of stuff. And it wasn't even good stuff. I was hoping to learn a little bit about the history of Ushuaia, the indigenous people who lived here etc. but it was very underwhelming. On the way to the city I had a quick look at a "museum" about the Islas Malvinas which was a huge flop, too so I almost skipped the last museum I had in mind. But thankfully I didn't because that one was finally a good one. Historia Fueguina tells four storylines that are related to Ushuaia’s history:

The indigenous people

One of the first European expeditions

The prison

An unbelievable rescue story about Ernest Shackleton and the Endurance

You wander from section to section, each one consisting of life-sized historic figures while listening to the story on the free audio guides. Most of the exhibits can be entered and you can pose for pictures. It was quite quirky but very educational and a lot of fun. Spoiler: Most indigenous people are now eradicated because the Europeans brought diseases and bullets when they discovered gold in the area. Same shit, different country.

Almost as comfy as my hostel beds

Next thing I did was a little hike up to the local glacier in town: Glaciar Martial. I did this one by myself because I really wanted to start it early and Corinna didn't want to pay for the taxi. It's very popular and I wanted to avoid the crowds. Surprisingly life generally starts late here, mostly around 10am. For this one I left the hostel at 8 and was on my way up at 8:30. And I am very happy about my decision because I had the whole trek for myself. Initially I felt a bit meh about this hike. Most photos in the web are quite underwhelming and the start of the hike is basically just walking along a ski slope. Luckily one of my room mates told me about some side trails and that the hike generally is actually quite nice. I'm glad I listened to him. At the beginning I walked along a beautiful creek with some of the clearest water on earth. After getting to a little viewing area, I continued up to the actual glacier. It became quite steep here, but it also wasn't a particularly long section. At the top I had a wonderful view of Ushuaia and the Beagle Channel. I found a beautiful section where lots of small streams of water merged and just rested here for about 45 mins to soak in the view and some of the sun when it showed itself for a few seconds.

If I remember correctly this was also the very first time that I was making full use of my layering system. I started with my insulated jacket as it was pretty cold in the morning. Halfway through I added my windbreaker as it became quite windy above the tree line. On the way down it gradually became warmer but it also started raining, so I removed both jackets and changed into my rain jacket. Yes, you truly need a good layering system when in Patagonia.

Ushuaia and the Beagle Channel

More Lord of the Rings

The next day was the highlight of my time in Ushuaia. Corinna, the couple that she shared her Airbnb with and I rented a car and we made our way to the Tierra del Fuego National Park. Corinna and I had a crack at the Cerro Guanaco Trail which literally took our breath away. The hike starts at a glacial lake, then turns into a forrest and climbs up pretty steeply. After a while we reached a little viewpoint before going through some muddy terrain again. With the tree line behind us, we were now in pretty exposed and rugged territory and the trail became extremely steep. But we continued, slowly and steadily until we reached the top and a jaw-dropping view to all sides. We could see Ushuaia and the Beagle Channel in the distance, the glacial lake with some impressive mountains below us, ragged cliffs right next to us. It was just spectacular and very close to what I had in mind when thinking about Patagonia.

Ragged

My favourite view so far

Corinna and I

Beagle Channel

After our return we continued to explore the southern part of the National Park, took some dorky pictures at some touristy signs and returned back to Ushuaia. By the way: If I wouldn't know that the water is freezing cold down here I would just love to jump into all the little lakes and inlets here. The water is crystal clear and when the sun comes out and you actually feel a bit warm it is just too inviting...

The end of the road

Second best thing to do with these water conditions

Jump in!

What stroke us the most during our time down here was the very limited amount of wildlife on land. We saw a couple of brumbies (or whatever they call them here), some birds and a few flies, but that was basically it. No guanacos, no armadillos, not even a bloody worm or ant. I actually digged a little hole at one point to see if there is anything hidden in the soil but there wasn't anything. Corinna and I started building a theory that everything we saw was just fake and we were actually in some sort of TV show. I hope you are all very entertained by now!

The last activity I did was a rather disappointing one. Corinna had now left town and I decided to do a little trip to an island full of penguins and a cruise along the beagle channel on my last day. Little Penguins are quite common in Australia and I already saw a lot of them in Melbourne and on Phillip Island. I was hoping that the species they have here in Ushuaia would be a bit more different, but it turned out that the Magellanic Penguins (by far the biggest group of penguins here) are very, very similar. I also saw Gentoo Penguins and a King Penguin though, which was pretty cool. After spending about an hour on the island and some other random stuff on the way there (trees that were shaped by the wind, a museum about marine mammal skeletons (creepy (especially when they showed us the fresh carcasses (let's just add more brackets because I can)))) we started our cruise. And the cruise was just 100% meh. Towards the end we stopped at the famous lighthouse and at a few rocks with sea lion colonies but I guess I'm just too used to these animals so that in hindsights I'm a little angry with myself spending so much money on that activity.

Looks like it's a bit windy out here

The lady was very excited about skinning this skull

Gentoo Penguins

Spot the king!

Look at this ugly fella

That was my adventure at the end of the world. I started making some good friends and it was a great start to get to know Patagonia. Next up is El Chalten, the hiking capital of Argentina. Apparently they have really bad internet there, so it might get a little quiet here. Apart from that I also managed to get sick (Coronavirus?), so I'll probably have to rest a bit in the next few days.

I might meet Jean (who I met in the hostel) again in Bariloche

[cctaehyung]

vii. secret garden

in his garden, everything has already happened.

the gardens in his heart have changed in so many ways over the years since his first visit. it was still bright and colourful, of course. the philia garden has gotten so many additions and the storge garden had gotten so much brighter and bigger than it originally was. in his past visits at those gardens, he would often walk with his father through storge. when he goes through his philia garden, he walks with the first two friends he has made in that december of 2016. it was always nice going to a garden with someone he loved, but there were times where he would go alone himself.

he’s never had a dream where he and yoongi would walk in the one garden dedicated to the both of them together. taehyung doesn’t think he could ever have the courage to ever talk to him about it because the idea of it would probably sound so silly to him. he had a conversation about it in a dream once with rikiya and it leads to ricky saying that he’ll tell him if- when they get married.

there were a lot of promises that were made for the future, but taehyung had never succeeded them because most of those promises involved yoongi. though taehyung’s body, mind, and soul were brought back in 2016, his heart was still in 2020. he was still grieving even if yoongi was alive now. his heart could accept the fact that his family and his friends were all in 2016 with him, but he couldn’t force his heart to believe that yoongi was alive as well. perhaps, if they dated again, it would be a different, pleasant feeling.

with the condition his heart was in, any person who has visited the garden would believe that the whole heart would have bad weather like it did after basil. though, to be honest, even if the weather was worse than it was usually, it didn’t stay like throughout the rest of the area but the agape. it was as if everything about him and his life went well and was going perfectly except for the fact that taehyung still couldn’t move on from witnessing yoongi’s death.

the forget-me-nots are in their original form. they were not growing, nor were they wilting away. in fact, if anything, they stayed the same as they always had since they bloomed. the first time he had seen them in that state, he felt such overwhelming joy that the moment he woke up from his dream, he called up to check on yoongi to tell him about how much he loved him and they spent a whole entire day together. now, when he looks at them, he feels as if they are just harsh reminders of his pathetic life holding onto a time that didn’t exist. he knew the deep meaning of the flowers, but he can’t get rid of the definition of complete loss when he sees them now.

when he enters the agape garden, he was unable to see its purple color. in fact, he could not see any sort of colour in the garden whatsoever. after the incident, every time he visits this place, there was no hint of colour or light anywhere there. he’s gotten used to it, as he was always used to black and white. he just wished it went back to the way it was before.

he sits in front of the flowers and examines them carefully, afraid to touch them in case they were to be damaged right away. it was obvious that taehyung was one person who was definitely not forgetful, but even if he tried to, he wouldn’t be able to forget the meaning of the small flowers: true love. he never really understood why that would be his flower until the one moment when he realized that yoongi was the one. at that sudden moment, everything in the world made sense and it felt as if pieces of the puzzle were put together to end any form of confusion.

memories with him play in his mind as he continues to stare, barely even noticing the small figure walking up to him. “ricky-ah…” the high, but soft voice calls out to him.

he looks behind himself to see the little fox stand behind him on the floor. he can’t see the red on him because everything looks gray, but he is able to recognize his friend. “rikiya… what do you want?”

“staying here won’t do you any good,” the little one says. “you can’t stay here. i know your heart and your mind both agree that they can’t completely move on from this, but it’s so gloomy over here. you should hang out in the other gardens where it’s much brighter.”

the statement makes taehyung feel a bit of discomfort. with awkwardness, he declines his offer. “i’d rather stay here, but thank you for the thought.”

“ricky, please. your father and nari agree with me too-”

“just,” the boy interrupts the other from speaking any more. “please leave me alone for some time to think.”

rikiya stands there in silence for only for a few seconds, perhaps thinking to himself on what to do. in the end, he sits next to taehyung’s left leg and looks up at the boy who was looking down at the flowers in front of him.

“these flowers are not that big,” rikiya comments.

“i know,” he responds, “but they are very important to me. despite its size, i see it as much bigger because of who they are for.”

“i know, it’s just… weird,” the fox says with a nervous chuckle. “i know you’re not a fan of big flowers because of the past, but i never understood your fascination for the smaller things… besides me, because i’m small and wonderful.”

taehyung doesn’t respond. he simply just looks out and sighs. it’s a sign of a plea, but rikiya doesn’t seem to notice it.

“he means a lot to you, huh?” rikiya asks. “i personally don’t think i will experience something like that, but it seems that min yoongi means a lot to you.”

taehyung nods. “almost the world, you can say.”

“almost… so he’s different from basil?”

“obviously,” he says, later moving his body a little so that he could properly face his friend, his friend doing the same. “i mean…. when i liked basil, it was… an unhealthy desire. an obsession. there was no love for anyone else other than him and only him to the point where it was hard to actually love myself even just a little. for yoongi, i loved- i still love him a lot, but i am able to love myself and other people as well. but in the end, he was still an important person in my life who i really care for and would do anything for. so, it hurt a lot to lose him. it still hurts.”

“ah…” rikiya replies, nodding his head. “well… like i said, i’ve never experienced it. but i want you to know that no matter what, i’m always here for you if you just want to rant.”

it’s a sign that rikiya doesn’t know what to say anymore to keep the conversation going, so he accepts it and gives a polite sign for rikiya to leave. “thanks. i’ll see you later.”

once left in silence, he moves his body back to how it was before, facing the flower once again. from the distance, it looks as if taehyung was sitting alone with nothing else but darkness and a field around him, but that wasn’t the case at all. it was as if this was the tiny portion of reality peeping in to this side of his heart.

he doesn’t want to cry. he’s already used up so many tears over something like this at this point, he doesn’t want to waste anymore. it’s not as if crying would do anything useful to him except make him feel even more miserable. he didn’t come back in time just to only make life worse for him again.

the sound of footsteps on the grass make taehyung look up. assuming who it could be, he speaks out to the person before turning his head. “rikiya, i thought we already had a-” he looks back to see no small fox plush, but rather a familiar human boy who was still shorter than him, “discussion.”

taehyung is greeted with a smile that makes him feel warm even when taehyung eventually sees nothing but a white coloured ceiling.

his excuse to his brothers was that he was stopping by to visit family. before he walks out the door, he hears danny warn him to not face the step-douche as if taehyung was planning to visit that house today. he wasn’t too off, but taehyung would never go to that house willingly even if his youngest brother and his only sister were there. though, to be fair, taehyung was technically meeting with family today. he just didn’t specify who.

after spending a good few minutes at the closest supermarket, he ended up with a random bouquet of flowers that looked the best and a random bag of chips that he would munch on when he would get home. his next trip was to a place that he would visit often alone, but he would visit with any other family members if they wanted to go along with him. this time he visits alone, but only because he wasn’t able to ask him something in his dream. taehyung thought it would be better to ask him now.

the moment he finds a parking spot near the graveyard, he walks out of his car and brings the bouquet with him. after he closes the door, he walks around to find the specific grave when he eventually spots it ahead of him. he has to thank his good memory to be able to remember where to go and where to look in order to find it, but that wasn’t important.

he always bought cheap bouquets. it’s better than bringing an expensive one that someone made with their heart and care and having it thrown away by the people who worked there. besides, this person knew taehyung’s love for him. flowers were just something nice to show his appreciation, but his heart says more than his actions ever do. after he places it on the grave plaque, he walks back a little and looks at it while he does the sign of the cross.

“father, son, holy spirit, amen,” he starts it off. usually when his mother was here with him, he’d have to do an “our father”, “hail mary”, “glory be”, and end it from there. but since she wasn’t here with him, he makes up a random prayer to talk to his father.

“hi dad… uh…” he thinks on what to say next, “i didn’t get to see you last night in the garden, so i thought it’d be cool to see you now and talk to you… now. is that okay?” that was a stupid question. of course it’s okay. “uh. i wanted to ask you about my mind, since you seem to know everything about me the most. do you think it’s in a good state? depression is obviously there, but do you think i have something else? something serious that i don’t know about yet? because i have speculations, but the thing is i’ve never met a professional psychologist and asked them myself. and uh… i don’t know. you were practically my best friend growing up, so did you notice anything then and do you notice anything now?”

“i feel… worried. because i feel aware, but i think of shit that’s so bad that if anyone knew about it, they’d probably want to stop talking to me. is that normal?” taehyung inquires. “can you… give me a sign? let me know if something is fucked. tell god to help out with that, too since he’s in charge of everything around here.” he hesitates. “just… i don’t even know what it could be, but i know something is wrong. just try to let me know what it could be? … amen.”

after doing the hand motion once again to end the prayer, he walks away from the grave only to later feel a vibration from his pocket. reaching for his phone, he looks over at the screen to see a text alert from the league.

(txt; league!) CARD NEEDED TO BE CAUGHT AROUND THE AREA: team nightshade required; experienced and special class may help. Please meet at the hideout for more details.

taehyung thinks it over for a little and he sighs before putting his phone back in his pocket and heading to his car, his next destination being the clamp cafe.

it’s not a difficult card, thank goodness. in fact, if anything, he was sure all of the male rookies could catch it on their own without any help. but he was fortunate enough to give it a few hits and wounds. but seeing it be completely obliterated was taehyung’s goal. he was desperate to be the one to finish the job, even if the rookies wanted to be the one to do it first. he knew gyu was going to be furious at him if he finished it himself, but he could really care less about what the man does. he always thought the old man was good at being a father and leader, but he wasn’t good at changing ricky’s mind.

he watches the naive heroes as they try their best to defeat it, struggling a little even after they heard the support of their leader. they’re pretty tough thanks to sunggyu. however, he was barely looking at their overall skill. in fact, if anything, he was just waiting for the moment where they all would collectively give up and go to him, their “lord and saviour” for help. but for now, he could always just go on instagram and check how his favorite celebrities are do-

“VINNY HELP!” a familiar voice screams out for him, immediately making him look up from the ground to see his youngest triplet struggle in one of the card’s tentacles, watching as his other brother run to him for aid with the brass knuckles in his hands. taehyung sighs with a look of disappointment. his brother’s basic knowledge still wasn’t surprising.

well, if one brother wasn’t going to save him because of his failure to think before he acts, taehyung was happy to be the one to save his poor brother from getting into a mess. already out with his weapons and his outfit, all he really needed to do was get the show on the road. he grabs both of his rifles with him and makes his way to the large card, making the other heroes stop from fighting it any more as he runs to it. one of the card’s eyes was already shot thanks to some random rookie hero on the team, and there was one tentacle already chopped off from sunggyu’s scythe. all that really needed to be taken care of was where its heart was and the tentacle danny was in.

thank goodness for the fact that these weapons were magical. he didn’t plan on using much if that were to happen to him, but in the end it wouldn’t matter since he wouldn’t ever be able to run out of them. with the rifle’s bayonet, he uses it to make a large cut on the card’s ankle. however, as he does it, he notices something strange about the ankle while the card roars. there was some sort of solid with a bit of a squishy texture in it. assuming what it could be, he looks at the rookies and points at it, mouthing a word that caught their attention. getting the generous hint, a random magical boy makes his way towards the familiar with a sword while ricky runs to his brother.

vinny widens his eyes at his brother for some reason as if he had just seen something incredible on his mediocre triplet. “ricky! you’re-!”

taehyung ignores it and interrupts him. “okay, vinny, assuming the heart is in the ankle, once the hero stabs it, the card might let go of danny. run to the shadow of the tentacle danny’s in and when the card lets go, he should fall into your arms. that way, it’ll look like you did all the work when it was actually just me. just the way you want it to go in your hero business.”

taeyong shows an insulted look at him. “what the hell?!”

“you’ll thank me later,” he replies before running off to sunggyu’s side to join the rest of the rookies, looking at how his plan goes into place. even if he shows a neutral facial expression, he prays to god that this goes well because this was all just assumption. he didn’t even know if everything would happen the way he said it would.

he searches for sunggyu’s hand and holds it tightly before he hears the other yelp once he touches it, letting the hand go as he does so.

“cheezus louisus, ricardo! your hand feels like a pan that just got out of the hot stove!” he shouts, jumping back from ricky before later having his jaw drop. “oh my god! you’re glowing!”

hearing the first statement, taehyung is confused but the second statement, he wasn’t sure if it was a fitting comment to say after his last one. “... i know i like good, but it’s kind of weird for you to say that after talking shit about my ha-”

“no! you’re literally glowing! and you’re hand is hot!”

taehyung smirks. “sunggyu, you have a wife-”

the sound of a camera shutter goes off at the same time the card screeches from being defeated, letting go of a screeching danny who stops when he eventually falls onto vinny, letting the older of the two land hard on the ground while the other uses his body as a cushion. the rest of the heroes watch as the beast turns into its actual paper card form, letting the boy who killed it hold it with a large smile on his face. taking his attention from the special hero away, sunggyu runs to the rookie and congratulates him.

taehyung’s confusion doesn’t last for long as he sees a hero around his age, daniel(? he thinks that’s his name), shows him his phone with the front camera showing the hero with his usual appearance with something different: his entire body was surrounded in solar energy and the strange thing was that he wasn’t even sunburnt. in fact, it felt as if the light wasn’t even touching him, despite being around him and having him in it.

“see! you’re really glowing!” he hears the rookie, amazement in his voice as taehyung stares at himself in awe.

“... what the flying fuck?!”

want to see the rest of his story from this point? take a trip: @tangerinewrites

[lavender-lotion]

WYIB Chp. Six - I Love Stoves | 3,207k

Read more chapters here! Read on AO3 here!

There is no way Stiles is going to let his Pack stay in such vile conditions, not when he has a perfectly good house to bring them all too. It’s really a simple matter, thought it helps that Deucalion is firmly on his side in the matter.

As it turned out, the pack had been staying in the abandoned bank that sat right at the edge of downtown, really more a part of the warehouse district. It was a large, empty building that hadn’t been used for anything in years. Breaking in had long since become boring for teenagers, and no one even wandered by at this point. It was a place nearly everyone was aware of but no one thought about. Frankly, Stiles had no idea why the building was still standing, especially given the shape it was in.

Weather-worn, the bank was nearly devoid of windows - they’d all been broken through years ago. The building itself was beyond run down: empty slots in the bricking, foliage running up and down the outer walls, though there were a few vines that seemed to have made their way into the windows. The inside wasn’t much better. A heavy layer of dust and dirt had settled over everything. Cora led them further into the building, up to a few upstairs offices they were using as bedrooms.

The boy had to admit they were in much better condition than the rest of the building, obviously cleaned out and well maintained. Cora was on her own, a double mattress and boxspring laying without a frame against the back wall. There were two duffel bags, which she appeared to be living out of, and a smaller bag that held her toiletries. There was a laptop plugged in and charging on the floor. Stiles knew what he was seeing could be a lot worse (though he did wonder why this place still had any power turned on).

Even though the room was improvement over the rest of the building, it was still dirty. He wasn’t sure any room in this building would ever again be truly clean, though Cora didn’t seem as though she minded. And still, Stiles couldn’t imagine what it could be like to possibly live there.

“No more of this,” Stiles said when they all met in the ‘common’ room. There were two mini-fridges, with a microwave oven sitting atop one and a coffee maker on the floor.

“Pardon?” Deucalion asked. The man hadn’t strayed far from Stiles’ side the entire walk back, and had stayed close during the little tour.

Stiles understood it, anyway. The bond they had formed was so new and it felt incredibly fragile. Stiles wanted to protect it, to hold it close and keep it safe, and it didn’t help that it was also the warmest thing Stiles had ever felt, strumming strong between them with their shared power. Stiles could almost feel the extra magic he’d be able to access, how if needed to he’d be able to draw upon the older wolf’s power. It was an exciting prospect, especially with just how strong the man was.

That was also a tricky road to go down, as Stiles knew just how the man had received his power. He could understand, though only to a point. Stiles had no idea what it might feel like to be betrayed by his own beta, especially to be betrayed by one's beta during a time of healing, of need. Deucalion should have been surrounded by his pack after the accident, the shared power flowing freely from Alpha to Beta as the man healed. But instead of that he had been challenged, his Right Hand using his impairment to his advantage.

To be in so much pain, so much agony, and then to be assaulted suddenly with such a surge of power - to get one's eyesight back if only for a moment - well, Stiles could imagine the temptation. He’s not sure he would have done anything different in the man's place. And he couldn’t fault him for a stint with insanity - goddess knew how wholeheartedly he’d forgiven Peter. What happened to Deucalion was horrible in its own right.

It was everything after that he was having trouble with. Though as he looked around the dirty, used couches littering the room, he knew this wasn’t the time. “No more of this. We’re leaving.”

“Excuse me?” Kali snarled, her top lip pulling back at the perceived order. Stiles could feel the hostility rushing through their bond, but said nothing.

“I said, we’re leaving.” Stiles stated, staring at her for another moment before turning back to his Alpha. “I’m not letting our pack stay here. You can all stay at mine until we can find something better for all of us.”

“And we’re coming with you why?” the she-wolf spat, eyes bleeding red.

Before Stiles could say anything, Deucalion began, voice cold and the order unmistakable, “Enough, Kali. It would do you well to show some respect to your pack members, especially those with more power than you.”

“Is that a threat?!”

“No!” Stiles jumped in, voice going high, “No, no one is being threatened. If you want to sleep on a dirty mattress in this heap of shit, be my guest. The rest of you can come over if you would like. I at least have a stove.”

“I like stoves,” One of the twins said, earning a smile from Cora.

“It’s settled,” Deucalion said, and there was no question whether or not it was an order.

Stiles was not expecting the car park he saw.

He never assumed that the Alphas were poor, but he knew none of them held steady jobs - there was no way they could while traveling as often as they did. He did know they often found part-time work where they were staying, and if they often stayed in places like this, Stiles was sure they could rack up a bit of money between the four of them who were able to work. But even so, Stiles was near certain they should in no way be able to afford the collection of vehicles he saw before him.

There were two twin motorcycles, both shiny black with smooth lines. Stiles watched with a spike of envy as the twins mounted the bikes, helmets nowhere in sight as they talked quietly with one another. Scott’s dirt bike was a joke in comparison. There was an over-sized black Jeep that he had to guess belonged to Ennis just by the man's sheer size. His thoughts were confirmed when the man clambered in, easily climbing into its raised seating. The third was a gorgeous affair, shiny black with smooth curves and looking entirely too expensive for the run-down pavement it was parked on.

“Would you mind driving, Stiles?” Deucalion asked, hands folded atop his cane as stood next to the passenger door. Stiles nearly tripped over his own feet at the request, turning to stare wide-eyed at the man. The boy hadn’t noticed him leaving his side, too caught up in staring at the vehicles in front of him.

He could feel the anger rolling off Kali, and not just through their new pack bond. His magic was picking it up as well, the emotion she was putting out incredible in its intensity - and there was no doubt that driving was her usual job. He could only nod though, and mutter out a quiet, “Sure,” before turning to Peter. The man was watching him closely, but Stiles could tell he his had his senses trained on Kali, and for good reason.

“Who is Peter going to drive with?” he asked, his magic itching under his skin. He wouldn’t leave the man alone if he could help it, not with these people.

“He can sit in the back with me!” Cora offered quickly, shooting the Spark a small smile that he easily returned, glad he wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to leave Peter with Kali and Ennis. He didn’t trust them, not yet.

He had seen more of Deucalion than just the man’s memories. The trip into his mind had left him privy to some of the man’s most withheld and private thoughts. Stiles still felt horrible about it, doubly so when he realized the man would have no idea what had been done. It had been far too intimate for two people who until this night had been essentially enemies - definitely on different sides of the line the Alpha pack had so clearly drawn in the sand. It didn’t feel right to know so much about the older man, and Stiles wished he hadn’t seen what he had.

Purposeful or not, Stiles felt like he had violated the Alpha. But now wasn’t the time to think about it.

Instead he sent a little of his spark at Peter, letting his magic wrap around his Beta. It layered over the man's skin, adding a solid layer of protection. It was the most he could do at the moment, and it hardly made him feel as secure as he would have liked, but he couldn’t do more. Instead he sent the man a smile, brushing his fingers over the back of his neck as he walked past, leaving behind a bit of his scent.

“Okay, yeah,” Stiles said, finally walking over and grabbing the keys from Deucalion’s hand, rounding the car carefully. It was intimidating, to say the least, and when he opened the door and looked at the interior Stiles thought his mouth was going to water. It wasn’t like he was a huge car fan, because he honestly wasn’t. But that didn't mean he didn’t understand how nice this one was, or that it left him ignorant to how much it must have cost.

He slid in as carefully as he could, his ratty Converse entirely inadequate next to the interior. He was distinctly aware that he’d worn these jeans three times without washing them and that he had no idea when the last time he might have washed his hoodie was. He felt almost dirty, trying to sit in the seat in a way that let as little of his attire touch the leather as possible.

“Calm down,” Deucalion muttered at his side, voice a deep rumble. Stiles nodded, feeling beyond silly when he remembered the man wouldn't be able to see it. Instead of answering he sucked in a huge breath, holding it for a moment before slowly letting it go. He calmed his mind, forcing himself to think of nothing more than his breathing, the feel of the leather against his skin, the slight breeze from the still open door.

“Sorry,” he said quietly, softly closing the door beside him before turning to the older man. “I think I just needed a moment.”

“That's quite alright,” Deucalion said quietly, smiling softly.

It was - well, it was strange. Stiles knew so much about what the man had done, knew almost all the evil he had committed. But - but he felt safe. Stiles wasn’t sure if it was due to the bond they had, and how strong the bond seemed to be. He wasn’t sure if it was because of how much power they each held, or because he had invaded the man's mind, but something about the soft tether of light that was tying them together made Stiles feel infinitely more guilty for what he had done.

He heaved a sigh, resting his hands heavy on his thighs as he tried to think of how to come out with it. If he was going to know more about the man than even he wanted to, he figured the best thing to do would to be let him know - but he was also hesitant to admit that he had no idea what he had been doing at the time. The Alpha pack was strong. The amount of collective power they held was staggering, and Stiles had only briefly felt it back at the bank. He doesn't want his Alpha thinking he might not measure up; that he might be unable to be a competent Emissary.

He was still fiddling with his fingers, anxiously wringing them together, when one of Deucalion’s hands settled atop both of his. The man’s skin was warm against his own - his fingers were calloused where they wrapped around Stiles’. The gesture was comforting, but the feelings Deucalion was projecting down the bond were more so.

“Sorry,” he said again, trying to settle his fingers before turning to face the man, “Okay, so. Right. When - when we were in the clearing, I uh, I-”

“Took a look into my memories?” the Alpha supplied, a small grin on his face.

“What?!” Stiles exclaimed, jumping a little in his seat. The whole time, the man had already known?

“Did you think I hadn’t felt it as well?” Deucalion asked.

“Well obviously I thought you didn’t know!” Stiles said, throwing his hands out.

“I - well, I understand why you would do that,” the man began, moving his hand higher up and rubbing at Stiles’ wrist with his fingertips, “It was a smart move - to go as deep as you did. It’s one of the reasons I asked you to become my Emissary.”

“I-” The boy began, but faltered. This wasn’t what he wanted, the disappointment. He hadn’t meant to spell Deucalion, had no idea how he even had, but he didn’t want the other man to think lowly of him for it. He didn’t - he didn’t want to show weakness and risk the man abandoning him. He couldn’t handle losing a second pack, even if this one was still so new, the members so distant to him. The bonds were so much stronger though - their bonds with Deucalion all but transferring over to himself in their intensity.

No, he wouldn't be able to handle it if these bonds were broken as well.

But he couldn’t lie, not about this. It didn’t feel right to let the man think he invaded his privacy on purpose, especially when he hadn’t meant to.

“It was, well, it was an accident,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m sorry I ever saw so much.”

Deucalion smiled softly at that, the expression entirely foreign on the man’s face. It wasn't a bad look, and Stiles figured he would be fine if he saw it more often. “I could tell that too. You didn't recover nearly as well as you thought you did. Your surprise was entirely obvious - or did it escape your mind that I could smell your emotions?”

The man's tone was teasing, though Stiles did blush. He had actually forgotten.

“Look, Stiles, it doesn’t matter. I knew you didn't do it on purpose, and that may be the best part. The amount of power you have is - well, it’s extraordinary. Of course I’d want you as my Emissary.”

“Oh. Alright, cool.”

The drive itself was quiet, Stiles sporting a small smile. He was thankful for what Deucalion had said, and it turned out to be exactly what he needed, even if he hadn’t quite known it. It did reassure him though, and it was enough to make the ride home pleasant. Stiles made sure to keep the back of his mind focused on Peter, making sure the Beta was okay the whole time. It wasn’t so much that he thought Kali would actually do something to the man, he just didn't trust her enough not to, and that was enough reason for him to be cautious.

All was well when they pulled into his driveway, though. The drive over had been incredibly fun - the car’s engine literally purring as he drove it. Even on the bumpy back roads it drove smoothly, all but gliding over the ground. When they drove on a long, straight strip of street, Stiles floored the engine, shouting out with glee as the car raced to comply. Deucalion had laughed as well, and Stiles felt lighter than he had in a long, long time.

Clambering out of the car, Stiles tried his best to be careful, not willing to harm such a beautiful vehicle. The bikes and Jeep were all parked in front of Stiles’ house, and his own Jeep was taking up half the driveway. He hoped his dad wouldn’t be too mad about them stealing his spot - especially with the news he would be coming home to - and would just park behind the Jeep.

Really, he was entirely too thankful to see that his father wasn’t home. He had no idea how to explain to the man that the group of people they had gone to stop, to protect the Hale pack from, were now for all intents and purposes family. That they were pack, and what pack meant and what Stiles had done, bonding with the Alpha as his Emissary. He knew his dad would be far from pleased, but Stiles just hoped Peter would be able to reason with him.

Which really might be difficult, since even Peter didn’t know why Stiles had decided to trust the Alphas. He would have to tell Peter soon - not only because he had discovered a new aspect of his magic and was quite proud of it, but because the man deserved to know why he had submitted to a new Alpha. It wouldn’t be fair to keep the information private, at least, not all of it.

“I thought you had a key now?” Stiles teased, hip-checking Peter out of the way when the man didn't move.

“Oh hush!” Peter admonished, but Stiles was sure the man was blushing. Stiles just grinned, ridiculously pleased that two people he cared about so much were so happy, and together at that. And besides, it wasn’t as though he didn’t totally think they were awesome together.

“What’s that about?” Cora asked, face lighting with joy at the prospect of having something to tease her uncle with.

“Peter is dating my dad,” Stiles informed her, smiling when she squealed and Peter shot a harsh glare at him.

“Oh, Peter’s got a boyfrie-end!” Cora sing-songed, stretching out the word and smirking at the older man as Stiles watched, laughing, continuing into his house.

He went straight for the kitchen, turning the oven on to preheat and looking through the freezer. There was probably enough for everyone, but with wolves it was all but impossible to know. Either way he pulled all seven pizzas out, cringing a little at what they must have cost. That was seven entire meals being eaten in one night - something they really couldn’t get away with.

“Thank you.”

Stiles startled at the noise, turning to quickly to see Ennis towering just inside the doorway. The man looked uncomfortable, but his back was still straight, his shoulders thrown back. He made an intimidating figure, and would even if Stiles didn’t already know he was a werewolf.

“Sure?”

“For opening up your home, I mean. Thank you,” the wolf clarified, still looking straight at Stiles.

Stiles just stared for a moment, admittedly having no idea in what the hell was happening in front of him. This was definitely something he had never expected, and he was rather unequipped to handle it. Finally he muttered out a hesitant, “Uh, no problem?”

When the man finally left the kitchen Stiles sighed, sliding the first two pizzas into the oven once the preheat light went off.

It was going to be an interesting night.

[privateplates4u]

Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car

Patron saint of literary cool Joan Didion—who stalked the steamy, smoggy canyons of Los Angeles in a Daytona Yellow 1969 Corvette Stingray—once said, “Rationality, reasonableness bewilder me.” If only Didion were along for this year’s Best Driver’s Car competition. There is nothing rational or reasonable about holding the keys to $1.9 million worth of the world’s dreamiest sports cars, exotics, grand tourers, and supercars. It’s one thing to parse the packaging of family-friendly compact SUVs. That’s our day job. Best Driver’s Car is about the way a car makes you feel. It’s about the bees in your belly as you clip an apex, the giggles induced by the slingshot launch of barely restrained acceleration, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from the melding of man and machine. Where’s the cupholder for my latte in the McLaren? Can you fit anyone in that back seat of a 911? How much does that Ferrari 488 really cost? Don’t know. Don’t care. Our Highway Patrol–assisted closure of California State Route 198 and subsequent invasion of Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca are the highlights of this event. But the Best Driver’s Car format actually began two weeks prior at Auto Club Speedway, when our testing trio of Kim Reynolds, Chris Walton, and Erick Ayapana took their first crack at our contenders with our battery of standardized instrumented testing. To earn the title of Best Driver’s Car, a vehicle must deliver a balance of usable performance, intuitive handling, and driver-friendly design. The winner should be a vehicle with a multidimensional personality, a car that will delight and reward the enthusiast driver on any road at any time, regardless of weather and traffic conditions. We had quite the field this year, with representation from Italy, Germany, Japan, England, and the V-8 thunder of American freedom. But as the test team crunched the test results, there was no clear leader. A storm was brewing. Highway 198 Revisited A four-hour drive along I-5’s trackless wastes brings us to our hotel in King City, California. Most of the other judges had convoyed up together around noon. But with most of California tucked into bed, associate editor Scott Evans and I made great time in the Aston Martin and Corvette. We rolled into the King City Days Inn a tick past midnight. We were the last to arrive, but our hotel clerk couldn’t have been happier. It isn’t every day you get to meet a YouTube hero, a certain “Mr. Lieberman,” who earlier had given an impromptu car show to our host. His fan club is everywhere. Highway 198 is a magical place, an undulating public two-lane roadway filled with tight switchbacks, sweeping curves, midcorner bumps, long straights, and panoramic views. It’s a gorgeous 4.2-mile stretch of roadway that climbs about 1,000 feet, allowing Motor Trend judges to test each contender at its (and their own) limits. Any shortcomings of either car or driver will be quickly identified on this passage. It is the mill that grinds the grist. Just past daybreak, the ground fog still clearing, we pulled to the side of the road to set up camp, clean cars, and wait for the California Highway Patrol’s black and white Ford Explorers to close the road so we could begin. After a team meeting, we fired up all 86 cylinders and commenced our first runs up the beckoning hills—each of us starting in the familiar car we had driven from L.A. That meant the Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport, intimidating in looks and sound, for me. The ’Vette is really a sweetheart once set up properly—Driver Mode Select in Sport and the steering wheel set to Tour. In those modes, the throttle response is linear and quick, and the suspension is dialed in to maximize the car’s speed around corners. The steering is light and direct, though you need to make a conscious effort to slow yourself down because turn-in is still very quick. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. “Needs 100 extra horsepower! Felt slow!” Jonny shouted after his turn behind the wheel. Also, the crowded seven-speed manual gearbox has rubbery, ropey throws and doesn’t like to be rushed, and the gear ratios felt too tall for the track-oriented Grand Sport. Said executive editor Mark Rechtin: “It seems like there was a big gap between the powerbands in third and fourth gear.” Chevy used to sandbag the Camaro to avoid stepping on the Corvette’s toes, but those days are gone. The Camaro ZL1 1LE is an uncaged race car. As he pulled into our makeshift pit lane, Jonny could be heard screaming, “Yeaaaah!” and clapping his hands. You’d think power would be why the Camaro works so well, but it’s actually grip that’s the key to this muscle car. Those steamroller-wide, superglue-sticky Goodyear tires work hand in hand with the DSSV dampers and the added aero aids to ensure that the Camaro can use each and every one of its 650 horses. “You quickly learn you can trust the tires as you unleash the power,” Detroit editor Alisa Priddle said. Scott added: “There’s a lot of vertical movement in the cabin, but the car never jumps sideways a foot when it hits a midcorner bump; it never moves around laterally at all.” The downside to the Camaro’s grip is its ride quality—basically there is none. “I’ve encountered smoother paint mixers,” guest judge Derek Powell said. “The bouncing was so bad that I found myself reacting to that instead of focusing on the sheer act of driving. The nuclear-waste green Mercedes-AMG GT R  provoked whoops and hollers from all of the drivers. A brutal supercar that rewards fortitude, the AMG needs to be driven flat out in order to properly enjoy it. Dig deep into the 577-hp twin-turbo V-8, and you’re compensated by a violent surge of power and the soundtrack “of a small arms factory exploding behind your hips every time you come off the throttle,” as Jonny put it. “Let it rip,” Alisa added. “The AMG has the power to get unruly, but it holds the road incredibly well.” Although the Mercedes’ nose bites with ferocity—only fighting back once you approach its limits—the rear end wasn’t as well behaved even at sane speeds. “There were several times when the rear would hop side to side or even produce drop-throttle oversteer or on-power oversteer,” Chris said. Unlike the Merc, it’s hard to get into trouble in the Mazda Miata RF. Like any good naturally aspirated engine, the Miata is happy to rev its way to redline, growling sweetly as you stab the clutch and flick the six-speed manual into its next gear. The Miata is not fast, but it rewards a driver’s skill. Entering corners, the Miata RF is surprisingly tail-happy. Mazda rehashed the ragtop’s suspension for 2017, but the RF is unsettled. “It’s always dancing on the top of its springs and edge of its tires,” Scott said. With traction control on, the Mazda’s electronic systems are constantly grabbing at the brakes to keep the Miata’s tail in line—sapping the little power the RF has to give. A better beginner sports car to explore one’s limits might be the Porsche 718 Cayman S. “The chassis is so beautifully balanced, the handling so predictable,” Derek said. “Each movement is connected directly to the brain’s synapses.” Scott agreed, adding: “Steering is among the best here—talkative and light, quick enough but not too much. I wish the Miata handled like this.” The 718’s 350-hp mid-mounted turbo flat-four is a good match for the platform, too–even if some of our judges wish it sounded less like a garbage disposal eating a fork. Alisa silenced those critics: “There are those who miss the sound of the old throaty engine, but the trade-off for a nice, wide powerband is worth it.” There isn’t much room for improvement in the 718, but the Aston Martin DB11 could use some help in the braking department. Its 600-hp V-12 is more than capable of getting its nearly 4,200 pounds of British aluminium going (and quickly at that), but it lacks the brakes or suspension to handle that heft on a twisty road. The DB11 has three suspension settings, but all feel inadequate for spirited performance. Its body control was subpar, the car displaying a tendency to porpoise through corners and over bumps. “It’s a wonderful GT car and is happy at high speeds, as long as the road doesn’t twist too much,” Scott said. Upsides: The V-12 provides epic thrust, and the steering is beautifully weighted, light, and linear—just as a British GT car should be. As the Aston’s counterpoint in the grand touring department, the Lexus LC 500 was a revelation, having done its homework on chassis and suspension tuning. “The fundamentals are all there,” Jonny said. Scott provided further details: “Weight transfer is nicely handled, and the car sits in a turn nicely.” The Lexus provides light, progressive feedback from the wheel, and its four-wheel-steering system helps make the LC feel smaller than it is. The LC’s 5.0-liter V-8 makes a good match for the 10-speed auto, though the gearbox was frustrating for its abundance of overdrive gears. “How can this car have 10 gears and never, ever be in the right one?” Chris asked. “There were at least a dozen rejected downshifts.” You’d expect the lone four-door sedan in our group to be soft, but it’s clear the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio “is a sports car regardless of how many doors it has,” Derek said. The Alfa’s sportiness is baked into its chassis; it’s a car that rewards smooth inputs yet begs to be driven hard. “This might be the best-handling sedan I have driven in 25 years of automotive journalism,” Mark said. “And yes, that includes the W124 and E39.” The 2.9-liter twin-turbo V-6 is laggy down low, but it hits you in the face with a sledgehammer once you’re above 2,000 rpm. Its eight-speed auto rattles off shifts as if it were a dual-clutch transmission. Complaints? A few. The engine, for all its power, doesn’t communicate what it’s doing at redline, making shifting by ear difficult. Some also found the Alfa’s Italian electrics a little buggy, with inconsistent brake-by-wire feel and a seemingly overeager overheat protection mode that would impose a 5,000-rpm rev limiter on the engine and limit torque vectoring at the rear axle. The other Italian in our group, the Ferrari 488 GTB, delivered thrills on an epiphanic level. After piling out of the Ferrari babbling a red-mist rant, Mark calmed down enough to say, “This delivers every teenager’s fantasy when they think of Ferrari.” The Ferrari 488 is one of those rare cars that makes you feel immediately at home despite its exotic appearance. The cabin is open and airy with a driver-focused interface. There are no distractions. Your hands hold a flat-bottomed, carbon-fiber and leather steering wheel, and all the needed controls are a finger’s reach away. Not only does the 488 GTB feel magical merely sitting still, but it’s also glorious to drive. The Ferrari’s small twin-turbocharged engine makes 661 horsepower. “It’s a force of nature, like being picked up by a tornado,” Scott said. The 488 also carries tenacious grip “with a flat attitude and fingertip control while cornering at speeds 10 to 15 mph faster than other vehicles—with the same if not greater confidence heading down 198 as up,” editor-in-chief Ed Loh said. The Achilles’ heel for the Ferrari is its brakes—the carbon ceramics have a slightly wooden feel and squeak like the midnight subway to Coney Island. If on the emotional scale the Ferrari is an embrace from a Victoria’s Secret model, the McLaren 570GT is a polite but firm handshake from gritty Bruce himself. Last year’s winning 570S was a highly rewarding and technical car, but in softening the 570 for grand touring duty, McLaren seemed to scrape away some of the special sauce. “It’s not what I would have expected,” Chris said. “This one feels far more ass-happy and less balanced and composed.” The 570GT feels stuck between sledgehammer and rubber mallet—it no longer drives like a supercar, but it’s not soft enough to drive like a proper GT. The issue is especially apparent if you’ve forgotten to press the “Active” button. Turn on the Active Panel, and dig into the 30-some-odd possible drivetrain configurations, and that sharpens steering and throttle response. But then the handling becomes unpredictable. “There were times when I’d exit a corner and the engine and transmission would be ready for it, and I’d rocket out onto the straight at full boost,” Derek said. “Other times it felt like I caught the car unaware.” When the McLaren is awake, there’s a hint of that 570S magic in its fingertip-light steering, supple ride, and peaky but powerful little engine, but the 570GT’s inconsistency hurt its credibility. If you want instant confidence bordering on immortality, the Porsche 911 Turbo S is your machine. Despite the PDK seven-speed dual-clutch doing the shifting, despite the torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive system constantly shuffling around the twin-turbo flat-six’s 580 hp, and despite the four-wheel steering making the 911 feel smaller than it is, the Porsche makes its driver feel responsible for it all. “Right out of the box, the 911 Turbo S lets you drive as fast as you dare, brake as hard as you can, and turn as much as you wish,” Derek said. “It doesn’t just inspire confidence. It inspires a relationship with the driver.” Still, some, like Jonny, thought the 911 made things too easy. “This thing is weaponized speed,” he said. “It’s maniacally capable but not the most engaging car, let alone 911, I’ve ever driven.” Added Ed: “It is a focused tool intended for one purpose: going very fast. Really hard to find a flaw here; if I’m being really critical, it’s a bit anodyne.” He quickly followed with: “I take it back about it being boring.” Now eight years since it made its debut, the latest Nissan GT-R NISMO still remains very proficient at hauling ass. Defined by what should be physically impossible levels of grip, it’s a car that you chuck into corners, mash the gas, and let the all-wheel-drive system sort things out. Godzilla’s 3.8-liter twin-turbo V-6 is indeed a monster worthy of the name—boost hits strong, and the power keeps coming. “This engine pulls and surges effortlessly,” Erick said. Ed said it was “noticeably sharper, like they ran the GT-R over a Japanese whetstone.” But some things don’t change. The programming on the GT-R’s six-speed dual-clutch is lacking, making manual shifting a must for performance driving. The ride is literally a sore spot. And then there’s the steering—it broke. Nearly every judge had a bizarre issue after hitting a midcorner bump, where the steering wheel would go cockeyed at a 20-degree angle, yet the car would be going straight down the road. Then the steering wheel would correct itself as if nothing had happened. Chris had it happen multiple times, with GT-R chief engineer Hiroshi Tamura riding shotgun. “It was an unusual electro-mechanical anomaly,” Chris said. “Tamura-san was as curious about it as I was.” As Motor Trend en Español editor Miguel Cortina nursed the NISMO back to our makeshift Highway 198 paddock, he handed the keys to Tamura-san and the Nissan team for repairs. The question as we pointed our field north toward Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca was whether the GT-R would be fixed in time for our staff champion racer Randy Pobst’s hot laps around the track. Hot Shoes, Cool Fog Monterey, let alone Mazda Raceway, has its own microclimate. Monterey proper was warm and clear, but the track was cool and foggy. It would be lousy for visibility but great for the turbocharged cars that Randy would run that day. After a quick sighting lap in our long-term Honda Civic to scout the conditions, Randy, Ed, and the test team determined which six cars to run on day one. 718. Corvette. Ferrari. McLaren. Camaro. 911. The assembled teams scrambled off to start prepping the cars. Meanwhile, a local Nissan dealer was attempting to bandage Godzilla. The Cayman was ready first. Randy hopped in, fired up the rumbly little four-pot, and set off for his hot laps. Not long after—1:40.22 to be exact—Randy pulled the ticking 718 into the pit with a huge smile on his face: “People! Marry this car! This is not like the crazy, scary girlfriend who will give you the time of your life and then boil your rabbit in the morning. The Cayman S has such beautiful balance; it’s so good that I felt like I could push it harder and harder.” Not long after, Randy set out in the red, white, and blue Corvette. But when he came back, Randy’s smile had been replaced with a scowl: “It wasn’t until the second timed lap that the tires started to get some temperature, but the car still wanted to power oversteer at throttle tip in. The front is ready to turn full blast, and the rear isn’t. Or the rear is ready to accelerate, and the front’s not too happy.” Going out in the Ferrari 488 GTB seemed to cheer Randy up before he was flagged for breaking Monterey’s punitive noise regulations: “I talked about marrying the Cayman, but this car is your mistress! This car accelerates so quickly that I needed to apex a lot later. The turbos on that Ferrari V-8 give it a big, fat torque curve. The transmission is such a beautiful match for that engine.” He did caution that the brakes did not provide a solid initial bite and that pedal pressure and brake force were not in cahoots. And like that, Randy was off in the McLaren 570GT, choosing to leave the stability control on because it felt fairly easy to break the rear end loose. “Track mode gets into a nice place where it allows some drift,” Randy said. “But it’s controlling the throttle a bit for me, and it’s less satisfying because I’m not the one driving. I could even feel the stability control activating significantly in Turn 1. The McLaren is fast enough that we’re arriving there at over 140 mph, and the car gets light and a bit oversteery.” You’d think the Camaro ZL1 1LE that Randy lapped next would be as oversteery as the Brit, but its claws stuck into the track. “This thing handles so well,” he said. “For a front-engine, rear-drive car with 650 horsepower, the traction was incredible. It put power down extremely well. Stability controls aren’t necessary for the average good driver.” The same rules applied for Randy’s last car of the day, the 911 Turbo S. “I don’t want to get out,” he said. “This car is the one you married, and it’s your mistress. It’s the whole package. I’m so utterly blown away by its capability. It was incredibly rewarding to drive. I was driving that car hard because I could.” As we wound down for the day, the Nissan GT-R arrived—but after a quick spin, Chris and Tamura-san quickly shut it down. Not ready. Nissan PR called for an identical white GT-R NISMO to be shuttled up from L.A. the next morning. It needed to arrive before the track went cold at 5:30 p.m. The Final Countdown As the clock started ticking for the NISMO on day two, we turned our attention to the remaining cars’ hot laps. Or warm laps in the case of the Miata RF. Its lap around its namesake track is not surprisingly the slowest of our 12, but it’s probably one of the most fun. “The MX-5 makes every trip to the grocery store feel like a Grand Prix at 34 mph,” Randy said. “I have to really slow my hands down because it leans over a lot. I like to trail-brake into a corner, and the Miata does not like that. But you can go around screaming at redline all day and not end up in jail.” By comparison, the Mercedes-AMG GT R is a go-directly-to-jail card. “This AMG really has personality in its engine,” Randy said. “It’s satisfying to pull all the way to redline. The fat torque curve makes it easier to drive, too, because it’s more controllable.” But the brakes started exhibiting signs of heat soak by the time Randy was on his final lap. Although the Lexus LC 500 might not spring to mind as a track car, Randy found it to be a delightful experience. But he also had some caution. “When attacking the corners, the Lexus is reluctant to change direction,” he said. “But once it finally comes down the apex and I go back to power, it’s beautiful from then on.” Randy was pleasantly surprised with the other front-engine GT car in our group, the Aston Martin DB11: “My expectations were low. I thought it would be a boat, but I was wrong. Well behaved on the track. Surprisingly good handler. Responsive and well damped in the Sport Plus suspension setting.” But the Aston’s brakes were shot midway through its second hot lap. With still no sign of our missing NISMO, Randy hit the track in the Giulia Quadrifoglio, returning with queries about cornering inconsistency: “I think there are electronic variations with the torque-vectoring differential. When I started at a quick pace, small steering changes really brought the car into the corner. Then when I go flat out, I get a lot of understeer in the middle of the corner under some circumstances but not others. I noticed the brake pedal doing something similar, too. It’s a lot of fun, it’s fast, it’s quick handing, but I’m not a fan of variation.” The Return of Godzilla All available cars having run, there was still no NISMO. Ed called a meeting; the manufacturers who wanted another lap would get one. Porsche wanted the Cayman to run again, citing the fog on day one. Ferrari wanted a run with flushed brake lines and new calipers and pads. The Corvette would run in Sport mode. And why not? The AMG GT R and McLaren 570GT could rerun, too. But if the GT-R showed up, bonus laps would cease. The Cayman, Corvette, McLaren, and Ferrari improved their times—the Italian by nearly a full second, leading some to suspect Ferrari’s mechanics did far more than change the brakes. But the AMG was actually 0.2 second slower. With 45 minutes on the clock, our replacement NISMO rolled into the paddock. The garage buzzed around the NISMO. The test team hooked up our data-logging gear, replaced wheels and tires, torqued lug nuts, and checked pressures. Video mounted and prepped cameras. Sound strapped down microphones. Everyone else stayed the hell out of the way. Some Formula 1 pit crews aren’t this in sync. At 5:15, Randy hopped in the GT-R and blazed a 1:35.01 lap. “The GT-R has been around for a long time,” he said. “It has gotten better and better, and the NISMO is the best version, but after it brakes pretty well once or twice, it starts getting hot. And when you first tip into this thing, it gives you full power and throws the car completely off balance. All-wheel drive or not, it suddenly makes the car run wide.” It was 5:30 on the dot. Time to hash out the winner. Final Tally When you have such a closely contested field, it is almost harder to pick the last-place car than the winner. Someone has to come last even if we really truly love our cellar dweller. And love, love we do, the 12th-place Aston Martin DB11. The DB11 is a great car to drive, but it’s not a good driver’s car. It’s a little too heavy, a little soft. There’s still plenty to like, though. “It’s beautiful inside and out,” Miguel said. It has a killer engine, too. Derek described the sound of the starter as “God Himself wound a pull cord around the flywheel and gave it a wondrous yank.”   Coming in 11th place is a car that was minutes away from earning a DNF: the Nissan GT-R NISMO. Mechanical issues aside, the Nissan’s 11th-place finish is a testament to how competitive this year’s field was. Yeah, it’s a bit heavy and a bit vague through corners, and it isn’t as fast as some of the new kids on the block. “It’s impressive that there are still improvements to be made,” Ed said. Godzilla might be old, but he sure as hell can still breathe fire. Tenth place goes to the Mazda MX-5 Miata RF Club. Miatas are the go-to for entry-level racers, and that ain’t just because of its price point—it’s because it is an exceptionally well-composed sports car with approachable, unintimidating limits. But although the Miata ragtop finished in third a few years back, the package isn’t improved by adding 125 pounds worth of complicated hardtop, which doesn’t accommodate a helmeted driver. Also, Mazda’s suspension tweaks fell out of favor of our judges. Oh how the mighty have fallen. After winning it all with the 570S last year, McLaren comes in ninth place this year. The 570GT is unsure of its place on the road. There are moments of brilliance in the delicacy of its steering, its surgical precision, and its tremendous brake feel, but the 570GT never gives you the confidence to go for more. “Somehow the magic of the 570S didn’t translate into the 570GT,” Chris said. “It’s a brilliant car, but it’s no winner.” Jonny had argued against bringing the Lexus LC 500 because it’s so big and heavy. But chastened, following its respectable eighth-place finish, he said: “Folks, we have an athlete on our hands.” We were all impressed with the Lexus’ sonorous V-8, quick-shifting automatic, and crisp steering feel—even if the LC was too eager to default to understeer at its limit. “Tighten this thing up, cut some weight, add some power, and you’ve got a really good GT car here,” Scott said. It seems that the Chevrolet Corvette is always this close to perfection, and that remains the folly of the seventh-place Corvette Grand Sport Z07. First the good: Its 6.2-liter V-8 is fantastic. It’s got a big, meaty powerband, and although it could probably benefit from an extra 100 horsepower, it’s tremendously rewarding to drive. The Corvette’s biggest issue is its transmission—its gearbox doesn’t like to be rushed, and its gear ratios are ultimately too tall and too widely spaced for performance driving. Sixth place goes to the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio. The Alfa is high strung, but that’s part of the fun—the engine is laggy down low and peaky up high, and the steering is so quick off-center that you’re liable to drive off the road if you so much as sneeze. “LOL-fast steering, short gearing mixed with a turbo-tickled powertrain,” Ed said. This is where things get real close; any of our top five could have justifiably won the whole shebang. Finishing a few points shy of fourth place, the Mercedes-AMG GT R is a helluva car. “The harder you drive this thing, the better it gets,” Erick said. But it needs to be driven at ten-tenths to get the most enjoyment out of it. Wring it out for all it’s worth, and it rewards you with endless grip and lightning-quick shifts. But it isn’t as gratifying at five-tenths as it is flat-out. The Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE’s fourth-place finish was a contentious one. We could agree on power and grip. The fact that all 650 of the Camaro’s horsepower is usable without instantly vaporizing the rear rubber is an engineering feat. But some of us maintained that a car couldn’t win Best Driver’s Car if you didn’t want to drive it every day. “I’ve probably lost all my fillings, and my kidneys are bruised,” Derek lamented, to which Jonny retorted: “Some judges thought the ride was too harsh on their way to Pilates class, but who cares? Finishing fourth is a failure of democracy.” One vote is all that separates our second- and third-place finishers. One. Earning the bronze is the technological tour de force that is the 911 Turbo S. It never seems to run out of grip, power, or brakes. “The 911 Turbo S is so amazingly competent on every level—without having any visible compromises—that it’s easy to forget how high its limits are,” Derek said. “Some might be tempted to punish the Porsche for its unflappable greatness. Big mistake.” Life’s funny. The Porsche 718 Cayman S wasn’t supposed to be here. We didn’t invite it until a last-second dropout had us scrambling to fill a hole in our lineup. Now the 718 Cayman S is tootling away with a silver medal. “There is something really spirited and sweet about this car,” Alisa said. “It’s so well balanced and smooth, so seamless in its power delivery and responsive to the slightest steering input.” Mark agreed: “It’s an exacting corner-carving machine that entices you to push your limits even more.” Erick, who did his best to hog the Cayman most of the week, called it “lovely,” adding that it “felt impossible to do wrong in this car.” Simply put, the 718 is a phenom. Deus ex Machina You’d think a mid-engine supercar would be a one-trick pony, but our 2017 Best Driver’s Car proves that wrong. First place goes to the Ferrari 488 GTB. This Ferrari makes you your best self behind the wheel. It grabs your attention, it focuses you, and it helps you improve. The 488 GTB lets you know when you screw up and pushes and prods you to do better next time around. The Ferrari 488 GTB’s powertrain is an endless assault on your senses, with wave after wave of devastating power. The engine pulls all the way to 8,000 rpm and then, bam, the seven-speed gearbox upshifts, and the engine digs deep for more. The powertrain is happy lugging around, too. “This car is amazing even loafing along I-5,” Mark said. Derek agreed about its cruising manners: “Very little engine noise makes it into the cabin despite it being inches away from the back of my head.” Chassis, steering, and suspension tuning are equally impressive. “The steering is very lively and requires constant attention—this car needs me,” Chris said. The 488 GTB does it all. “The Ferrari fulfills the complete list of needs, from extreme exotic to dauntless touring car,” Mark said. It’s memorable, too. “This is one of those cars, one of those drives, one of those moments that will forever be seared into my synapses as an epic moment,” Chris said, “a true deus ex machina experience in my life.” Joan Didion once described driving in Los Angeles as requiring “a concentration so intense as to seem a kind of narcosis, a rapture-of-the-freeway. The mind goes clean. The rhythm takes over.” The Ferrari 488 GTB is that rapture. It is that rhythm. It is our 2017 Best Driver’s Car. Read more about 2017 Best Driver’s Car contenders: Ferrari 488 GTB Porsche 911 Turbo S Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE Porsche 718 Cayman S Lexus LC 500 Mercedes-AMG GT R Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Aston Martin DB11 Nissan GT-R NISMO Mazda MX-5 Miata RF McLaren 570GT The post Choosing the 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car appeared first on Motor Trend.

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[thehikingviking]

Junipero Serra Peak, Bear Mountain & Pinyon Peak, The Bushwhack from Hell

Junipero Serra Peak is the high point of Big Sur, and has been on my to do list for some time. This California county high point finds itself on several prominence and isolation based lists, and is only a moderate challenge for the avid peak bagger. The fact that it also lies on the California Coastal List was the icing on the cake, but I held off because in the nearby vicinity were two other peaks on the CC list; Pinyon Peak and Bear Mountain. In order to reach Bear Mountain, and then Pinyon Peak, one must first climb over Junipero Serra Peak. All other options seem much more difficult. My biggest concern for the combo trip was water, and on one of my flights to San Diego for work, I noticed a good amount of snow on the summits of all three peaks

I sent an email to the coastal gang proposing the trip and received very little enthusiasm. Daryn and Kathy both expressed interest, but they could not go on such short notice, and suggested we go in April instead. I agreed, knowing the snow would be gone by then. The route I had in mind was pioneered by David McMillan, Dave Dostal and Paul Danielson in 2005. Trip reports from Piero Scaruffi in 2005, John Fedak in 2007 and Bob Burd in 2009 were my only reference points.

Clearly stated in Fedak’s trip report was, “Note: This route burned extensively in the 2008 fires. Check the VWA website (or my backcountry page to the left) for more recent conditions.” In hindsight, there also looked to be some major fire damage prior to 2005 when viewing Piero’s photos. With the last documented trip report from a decade prior, I didn’t have much to go off of for recent conditions. All I knew was that it hadn’t burned since, but I felt that if all these groups could get up the peak in one day, I would for sure be able to do it as an overnight when camping on the summit of Junipero Serra Peak. Up to this point I had never camped on a summit before, so we were in the makings of an exciting trip. 

As the trip grew nearer, I realized that the late April weekend that we scheduled for the Pinyon Peak trip was the same weekend as the Henry Coe Back Country Weekend, which I had already paid for in advance. Dope! Not to worry, I thought to myself. I could visit both Henry Coe and Big Sur in the same weekend. Burra Burra Peak lies on the Nifty Ninety List and was of some interest to me. The hike to the summit is very easy when accessed from Kaiser Aetna Road, which is open during that weekend. I had just enough time to climb Burra Burra Peak on Saturday morning, drive to the trailhead of Junipero Serra Peak afterwards, then start the hike up the tallest peak in Big Sur with the goal of making it to camp before sunset. What an ambitious yet fool proof plan, I thought to myself.

Asaka and I woke up in our own beds on the morning of April 27th, completely unaware of the impending struggle we had ahead of us. We reached the Henry Coe park entrance and showed our printable permit then drove up the dirt road to the trailhead of Burra Burra Peak. We parked alongside the road and were greeted with great views of the Diablo Range from the start.

The trail was faint, but easy to follow. It looked as if someone cleared the way with a weed whacker the week before.

Some of the wildflowers were blooming and it was a wonderful sight.

1.6 miles later we reached the summit. To the north were Mt Stakes and Robison Mountain.

To the west was Wilson Peak.

To the south was Mitt French’s property, the owner of the land containing many of the more interesting peaks in the Diablo Range.

To the east was more private ranch land, as is most of the Diablo Range.

Since we were on a time budget, we quickly made our way back down the trail to the car.

With our first peak in the bag, we drove south to Fort Hunter Liggett. I was concerned about access issues reported by previous parties, but encountered no hindrance as I drove through. We crossed a small river then drove to the Santa Lucia Memorial Park. It was a beautiful drive that time of year. We parked the Jeep, and found Daryn and Kathy getting ready. My apprehensions about the trip surrounded access to water, so I packed 12 liters between Asaka and me, with myself carrying the lion’s share. I felt that it was a bit much, however I’d rather have too much water than not enough. We started up the trail passing by interesting rock formations.

The beautiful wildflowers from Henry Coe had followed us here.

I was nervous about ticks but I only saw one the entire trip. An abandoned tractor was slowly being consumed by vegetation alongside the trail.

We passed by an old trail sign, partially burned from the fire over a decade ago.

The climb was beautiful, but it was a bit warmer than I would have liked. Asaka’s energy was low, probably due to a combination of our earlier hike, her heavy pack and the heat.

We paralleled a creek as we climbed earnestly up a canyon. Before the canyon became too steep, the trail began switchbacking up towards the ridge.

Sections of the trail were a little over grown, but the trail was good enough by my standards. We took a break atop the ridge where remnants of old trails branched off in different directions. Most of these trails are no longer maintained and seem to lead into no man’s land.

I checked our time and noticed we were behind schedule. I kept taking on more and more of Asaka’s weight, most of which was water. At one point I was carrying over 11 liters all to myself. Asaka and I argued and she eventually disappeared ahead of me. To the west was Cone Peak, which we climbed earlier that year.

I labored up the ridge as the trail wound around the backside of Junipero Serra Peak. I finally caught up with Asaka, and we met Daryn and Kathy near the start of the brushy section. While the trail was overgrown in places, it was by no means a bushwhack, and we had no trouble finding our way. The chaparral slowly gave way to pine forests, which was a nice break from the overgrown coastal shrub we had been hiking through. We made it to the summit area just before sunset, a couple hours later than I had intended. The true summit of Junipero Serra Peak would be left for the following day, and I focused on setting up the tent while Asaka prepared dinner. I climbed the dilapidated summit tower which felt more like an abandoned scaffolding where I watched the sunset. The Pacific Ocean gave me a sense of calmness as the sun dipped below the horizon.

I carefully climbed down and made a fire where we all enjoyed dinner.

Cooking dinner required a good amount of water, but we still had about 7 liters remaining. The ground was soft and sandy so I walked around barefoot all evening. With a good part of the elevation gain in the rear view mirror, we felt a 7am departure would give us plenty of time.

The next morning we had breakfast and began the second leg of our journey. I packed 3.5 liters of water, which was more than I usually bring.

We first visited the summit of Junipero Serra Peak just a short distance from camp. We signed the summit register and examined the ridge we would follow towards Bear Mountain and Pinyon Peak. Asaka decided to leave her jacket here as the weather was already starting to get warm.

Getting to the old firebreak along this ridge had us bushwhacking from the start. This was my first hike wearing long pants, and I’m thankful that I had these on me.

After some struggling, the bushwhacking gave way to some patches in the brush and eventually we hit the remnants of an old road.

The road would dead end at times and we would have to find a break in the brush. Along this section of the ridge, there was always a way through. Some prior good Samaritans had clipped a path through some of the thicker sections. The ridge had its fair share of ups and downs, but I could live with these so long as there was a path through the vegetation. I noticed bear scat and many mountain lion tracks along the way. Kathy dragged her trekking pole during this section, and it took me a while to realize that she wasn’t doing this out of laziness. Later on, we would be able to follow that line in the sand to minimize our route finding efforts on the return.

We spotted a horned lizard which blended in very well with the dirt.

Up to spot point 5039 shown on the topo, the ridge was generally clear. Sure, there were some obstacles, but all of which had a weakness. We took a slight left here and continued for another quarter mile until the open sections began to dwindle. I feared the upcoming section, a 1,200 ft drop to a saddle, but past bushwhacking experiences while chasing the California coastal peaks had hardened me to a certain extent, and I was ready for the challenge. The next two hours were a miserable, horrendous stretch of thick vegetation. At times I felt like I was suffocating. The tree limbs and shrubs would fight back, hitting me in the face and other exposed areas. I crawled, squatted under, climbed over and rammed through the nasty chaparral. I did anything I could to keep moving forward. I snaked through this section looking for an easier path, but found more of the same. It was a free for all and most of the time we couldn’t see each other, but we tried to stay within vocal range. We crossed over the old road at times, but the vegetation had grown back thicker on the flat roadbed, making the road useless. I wondered if the three rocks I spotted were a cairn, but they were most likely completely natural.

It’s hard to find words to describe the agony, but we had come so far that we weren’t ready to turn around just yet. My shoe laces kept coming untied, forcing me to stop and retie them frequently. We kept telling ourselves that things would get easier. We saw pictures from the previous trip reports, and we expected to soon encounter an open road climbing towards Bear Mountain. We reached the saddle where we had a long rest. I was starting to worry about my water situation, but hopes of easier passage kept me encouraged. There was an old illegible sign here; a reminder that we were not the only humans to traverse this hellish place. After our rest, we all bushwhacked up to the road, which we found severely overgrown.

Oh how we fought to stay on that road. We eventually realized that the road would do us little good, and it was best to follow the sandy openings alongside the road. I was stopped in my tracks by a huge rattlesnake. It lay there in silence until Daryn showed up behind me, which got it all riled up. Getting bit out here would be a death sentence. It rattled its tail as we walked very close to it, trying to stay within the openings in the chaparral. I prayed to not run into it again on the way down.

I put my phone away. Things were now getting serious. We pushed through the thick brush until we reached the top of the ridgeline, which was no easy matter. From here the travel didn’t become easier. We continued to push through until we reached the summit of Bear Mountain. I was extremely tired, as was the rest of the group. Kathy and Asaka agreed to go no further. They would wait for us back at the saddle. I had the route downloaded, so I exchanged phones with Asaka. I carefully explained where to go, while I kept her phone for photo and communication purposes. While the peak was still over a mile away, I optimistically read the topo map and convinced myself it was only a half mile further. I also convinced myself that the hardest bushwhacking was behind us, but Daryn reminded me that Burd suggested the hardest part was yet to come. How could such a blasphemous statement be valid? We followed the firebreak until we were engulfed. We tried to stay towards the top of the ridge, and we got to the point of fighting for mere inches. I started to worry about my safety. There was a high chance that I would run out of water, but would my body allow me to push through and make it back to camp without collapsing? We tried to push through one section but it was so thick that we had to back off. We tried another section and it somehow worked. What remained were some open switchbacks that added distance to our route, but I was too tired to climb directly up the southeastern slopes of the peak. We would for sure make the summit at this rate, but it was nearing 2pm, and hopes of returning in day light began to shrink. We reached the location of the old fire lookout where we found a register, but it was clear that the point further west was higher. 

We took a rest here and read through the entries. The only person to sign the register since Burd admitted to taking a helicopter to the summit. I surmise that he was an employee of Cal Fire because I did not recognize his name as a peak bagger, and I cannot think of another reason for someone to visit this forgotten place. While it was a short walk, I struggled to reach the true summit in my exhausted state, but at least the final traverse wasn’t brushy. To the southwest was Junipero Serra Peak.

To the northwest was the drainage of Santa Lucia Creek.

To the north were the Salinas Valley and the rugged Los Padres National Forest.

To the east were the false summit and the southern Diablo Range.

To the south were the peaks surrounding San Luis Obispo.

It was now after 2pm and after rationing, my water was almost gone. I had yet to eat lunch, but doing so would make me more dehydrated, so I decided to hold off. I was in survival mode and didn’t feel hungry. I texted my own number to tell Asaka that we reached the summit. As we began our descent back down to Bear Mountain, I wondered if we could find water in Santa Lucia Creek below the main saddle. I looked for a sparkle but saw nothing through the dense vegetation. I listened closely and while I thought I could hear running water in the canyon below, I couldn’t rule out wind. Satellite imagery showed a break in the brush heading down towards drainage from the saddle, but such a path may have just been a digital hallucination, and there was no guaranteeing that water would be accessible.

We feared the impending bushwhack as we dropped to the saddle between Pinyon Peak and Bear Mountain. Rather than repeat our ascent route, I stayed more on the western side of the ridge. At first this went much better, but the brush began to envelop us once more. Every time I thought we hit a dead end, I found a slight weakness, and we luckily got back to the firebreak with much less expended effort than before.

We got back to Bear Mountain. Kathy and Asaka had already left. I snapped one photo of the declining ridgeline where an old, forgotten firebreak lies.

Rather than follow the same overgrown road, we took a more direct route straight down to the saddle, aiming for the patches in the brush. Asaka and Kathy became visible a few hundred feet beneath us. I was glad that they wouldn’t have to wait for us very long. Thankfully, we didn’t stumble upon the rattlesnake again. We reached the saddle, discussed whether it was worth searching for water, but decided against it in the end. Now the most toilsome effort of my life was about to begin. If there is a secret to bypassing the next mile with minimal effort, then we failed to crack the code. The guys were having a rougher go at this section than the ladies, probably because they were able to conserve energy while waiting on Bear Mountain. Since I was feeling weak, I let Daryn lead the way for the first half of the climb, but he started to lose his cool the longer we struggled up the hill. It was hard to stay positive knowing we had over 2,000 ft of climbing left to go before camp, with most of that through some of the densest brush in the state. The retying of my shoes was starting to drive me mad. All the while it felt like I was swimming rather than hiking. As we neared the half way point of the tough section, Daryn started to have a freak out. I’ve hiked many difficult peaks with Daryn in the past, and have never seen him act so out of character. Sensing the severity of the situation, I felt it was my turn to step up and lead the bushwhack. I somehow began to find humor in our situation, which allowed me to speak encouragingly and with positivity. We were going to make it out of this mess one way or the other. In my depleted state, I entered a mindset of being one with the plants. I spoke to the brush and it spoke back. I was able to methodically pick an easier path, drifting further and further to climber’s left. It wasn’t long before we began to recognize patches in the brush and even our old footprints. The patches became bigger and bigger until finally we broke out of the worst of it. We took a long rest near spot point 5039 on the topo where Asaka gave me 0.5 to 0.75 liters of her own water. I remained parched afterwards, but that generous donation changed my outlook, and I knew that we would be able to make it out. Daryn’s mood had also returned to his calm and cool natural state. Kathy stayed in good spirits throughout the ordeal. Asaka surprisingly didn’t berate me too much throughout the day. Maybe she could sense my weakened state.

We looked back at Pinyon Peak and Bear Mountain and wondered when they would be climbed again. It would take another burn to make the peak reasonable by even the most hardened peak bagger. From here we followed Kathy’s line in the sand as we made our way back to Junipero Serra Peak.

It was clear that we would not make it back to camp in day light, let alone the car. I asked Daryn if this was the hardest hike he had ever done, to which he said yes. This was quite the comment from someone who’s climbed well over two thousand peaks. With the temperature dropping, I became more at ease, and fear of dehydration diminished. I looked forward to the water I had at camp, and we discussed the pros and cons of staying the night versus hiking down. My brand new pants were already heavily damaged and my shoes were toast. The sun set while we were a mile away from the peak and it got dark when we were still a half mile away from the summit. Lights from the Salinas Valley produced a calming effect as we picked our way through the manzanita. I challenged myself by using my night vision, keeping my headlamp stashed away for the time being. I finally used my light as we thrashed through the final bushwhack. We had to go back to the true summit to get Asaka’s jacket which was an inconvenience, but didn’t add too much extra effort. We reached camp at 9pm, making for a 14 hour outing up to that point. The water that we had left at camp was much less than I remembered, but it would keep me and Asaka going. I laid in the tent and ate my lunch; a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Asaka had a lime, and how amazing it tasted. I sucked on that lime until every drop was absorbed by my arid tongue. While I was exhausted and requested to sleep on the summit, the others overruled me and we agreed to hike out. I told the others I would join them, but would need to lay down for 20 minutes. Asaka and I finished our water quickly. I remained parched, but motivated by the running creek at the bottom of the switchbacks. I didn’t get the full 20 minutes of rest I requested, however I got enough. As I began to stow away my tent, I noticed scorpions crawling everywhere, and to think that I was walking around camp barefoot the previous night!

I was glad that the others convinced me to hike out that night as I quickly found my third wind. The trail was tough to follow at first in the dark, but we found our way. As we marched down the trial, lightning to the south began to fill the sky. The storm was over the San Luis Obispo area and provided a light show. I spotted the campfires down at the Memorial Park Campground and wished I could be enjoying the evening with those campers rather than suffer above on the mountain. Once we reached the creek, I dropped my pack and filled up our bottles. I didn’t bother to filter. The water was pure. We spent about ten minutes sitting in the dark replenishing ourselves. All that remained was a gradual trail back to the cars. There was spooky eye shine throughout the canyon, but at that point I couldn’t care less if one were from a mountain lion. We surprised a couple of hikers who were going for the peak at midnight. I felt they were quite odd, but maybe it was a smart way to avoid the heat. Like most epics, the hike dragged on, but we kept passing recognizable landmarks from the day before and we finally reached the meadow near the trail head. We reached the cars at 1:30am, needless to say much later than we anticipated. The peak was in the bag, and no one could take that way from us! We bid farewell to Daryn and Kathy and drove the lonely road out to Fort Hunter Liggett. I considered getting a motel in King City, but in the end we just drove home, stopping at Jack in the Box for a late night feast.

On returning home I reread the trip reports from Burd and Fedak. I laughed out loud at my computer when I saw the conditions of the road they had on their outings. Things have changed quite a bit since then. In retrospect, I should have taken more pictures, however the harder the hike, the less photos I tend to take. I don’t know who will be next to climb this peak, however my prediction is either Clément Guillaume or Eric Su. If it burns, then all bets are off because then many will be able to do this.

Below are the notes from my condensed trip report the day after the trip:

Water- This is maybe the most challenging issue. The last water source is 2.8 miles into the hike. After that it is completely dry. There is a chance of a spring on the west side of the saddle, but the brush makes it very difficult to reach. I thought I heard water on a few occasions, but I couldn't completely rule out wind. Daryn and I both ran out of water, and the last few miles back to camp with a dry mouth was unpleasant. The weekend was also warmer than I expected. I brought 3.5 liters and ran out slightly past the saddle on the return. Thankfully, Asaka saved me and offered me 0.5 to 0.75L of water later on (I remained parched), then had another 1.5 liters waiting for me at camp (remained parched again). I didn't feel fulfilled until we reached the stream several miles later. If camping on top, you also need enough water for cooking dinner. This peak might be best done after snowfall so you can melt water on the summit. Brush- After reviewing the photos from Bob's trip report, I was shocked to see how much the brush has grown back. Bob climbed Pinyon a year after a fire a decade ago. Now many of the previous open sections are grown over. It was the worst bushwhacking I've had to endure. I have endless cuts and bruises across my arms and legs. No poison oak though! Distance- Burd underestimates the distance. Firstly, its 6.5 miles from the trailhead to the summit of JS. Secondly, it is much more than 4 miles from JS to Pinyon Peak. While I didn't record a GPS track, my estimate is 6-6.5 miles. Therefore, Total distance is 25-26 miles, rather than the 20 miles as advertised by Burd. Time- We started from the summit of Junipero Serra at 7am and returned to camp at 9pm. We reached the cars at 1:30am. Animals- This isn't really an issue, but we saw a rattle snake on the way. We found several scorpions around camp as we packed out. There were many mountain lion tracks along the ridge from JS to Bear. There was bear scat in places. I saw only one tick. There was one other person who made the summit recently, but he took a helicopter. I recommend waiting for another burn to attempt this peak unless your a masochist.

[vanon66-blog]

And Then God Smiled

By the end of the summer of 1998 I was nearing my very first strategic marker.  While I still had not made an official commitment at that time to walking the entire length of Route 66, I was continuing to focus on the road ahead of me, one weekend at a time, but knowing that it would not be long before I would have to go "all in" or resign myself to the fact that what I was doing was only a recreational hobby.

While I had never attempted any type of serious physical challenge in my life up to that point, those who have over the years always fascinated me.  As a matter of fact, since we are heading down this "path" anyway, I have to admit that I have never been, nor will I ever be the stereotypical American sports fan.  Yes, I grew up supportive of the success of the sports teams of the schools that I attended, but that is where my interest in team sports ended.  Even then I was more interested in spending my time doing something than watching or analyzing it.  

It is an understatement to say that I am extremely passionate about individualism and I am fascinated with sports that center around individuals such as ice skaters, mountain climbers, cyclists, and anyone pushing their limits and displaying the beauty of the human spirit.  To me, this is one of the most powerful evidences to the truth that God made man in his own image.  We are made creative and unique individuals by the very one who created it all and we display Him when we display our own uniqueness, creativity, and strength.  I marvel at the grace, poise, and beauty of skaters as well as those who, against tremendous odds, accomplish great feats, often in the face of negativity, criticism, and opposition.

That being said, one of the physical challenges that has fascinated me over the years is extreme sports, specifically what is known as thru hiking;  The most widely recognized thru hike being the Appalachian Trail that begins in Maine and ends in Georgia.  Even with me shedding the bulk of my worldly goods in recent years, I have kept a book about hiking that trail.  It isn't a feat that I will ever do, but I am fascinated by the people who have.  A common thread among them, besides the preparation, is how they approach the hike mentally, something that they all admit is the one factor that will make or break you.  And that factor is focusing on each day, if not at times, a step at a time, and not the final destination.  They also say to set short term goals.  Needless to say, facing down the barrel of several thousand miles and years of unknowns was intimidating, to say the least, so I took to heart, even early on, the wise advise of these folks.  

Reaching the city limits of Tulsa, Oklahoma on foot was my first short term goal and I could hardly contain my excitement over it as the weekend approached.  I am not even sure that I even slept the night before heading out from Fayetteville.  I do remember that I watched a well known television preacher that night on my tiny 12" black and white TV (fully equipped with rabbit ears, believe it or not).  He was speaking at one of his crusades and his message touched me more than most messages that I had ever heard before or even since.  I didn't realize the true impact of it at the moment, but I did sense that I was being asked a question and I readily and passionately replied.  

It was a pitch perfect day that Saturday.  The skies were deep blue and crystal clear and I almost couldn't contain the anticipation.  Even before I clocked out my miles with my car odometer, I decided to do my leg muscle stretches and not too far from the Tulsa city limit I found the ideal place.  You couldn't see it from the four lane roadway heading into Tulsa from the northeast, but, back from view there was a day access park.  It looked like the perfect place to get out of my car and get my body prepared.  And at around 8:00 in the morning, there wasn't a soul around.  I chose a concrete picnic table and went to work.  

It was only a matter minutes before I wrapped up my routine and headed back to my car.  I jumped in, turned the key, and began heading back to the highway when all of a sudden I saw lights flashing and in my rearview mirror I saw a police car stopped behind me.  I couldn't think of any reason why this was happening especially since I wasn't even on the road.  I went through the usual routine of handing over my license and registration and tried to calm myself.  Naturally, I am thinking that the officer is going to hand me back my things and then tell me to have a nice day, but, that was the furthest thing from his mind.  

It wasn't long before another squad car pulled up with its lights on too and the two officers approached my car together.  It sure didn't look like a normal "routine" stop to me and, unfortunately, I was correct.  I was asked to exit my car and an interrogation followed with me answering everything that I did with a "sir" at the end of it.  At that point it became as crystal clear as the weather that day what was going on.  

Now, before I go any further, I want to say that I am NOT anti-policeman and have nothing but respect for them and the job that they do.  I also have friends who are in law enforcement, but it was very apparent that day that I was being harassed by rogue cops looking to make an arrest just for the sake of it.  I was informed that the area I was in was notorious for drug trafficking and asked if I knew that to which I replied, "No sir, I did not know that."  I was then asked exactly what I was doing there and I told the officer who snickered and said, "yeah...I bet."  Then it got really interesting.  I think that it was apparent to the officers there that I was going to be kind and courteous and that they weren't getting the results they had hoped for.    

From app. 6 inches from my face, the officer in charge informed me that my record was clean and that they were going to "allow me" to leave on the condition that I agree to never return there.  To be honest, I don't know how I maintained my composure.  I felt like I had just stepped into the twilight zone.  In my mind I am thinking that I just can't believe that this is happening and that this was beyond wrong, but I also knew that if I wanted to walk that day as opposed to sitting in a jail cell I needed to swallow my pride.  

Well, much to the surprise of the officer (the whole scene looked like a confrontation between Gomer Pyle and Sergeant Carter the way that he was in my face), I gently said, "okay."  I mean, you could really tell that this was not the reaction he thought that he was going to get so he tried again.  "Now, Mr. Crowley, I am going to say this again.  I am going to allow you to leave today on the condition that you promise to never return here."  Away from the public eye that morning and with the aid of his buddy to confirm everything that happened, it looked like his plan was going to work, but once again, much to his surprise, I calmly said, "Yes sir."  The two patrol cars followed me back to the highway, followed me for a short distance, and then turned off a couple of miles down the road.

As much as I had anticipated my entrance to the Tulsa city limits, I don't actually remember much about the walk that morning except for one thing.  I replayed the incident at the park over and over in my mind as well as even verbally expressing my anger towards the two officers who harassed me.  One thing was for sure, I was going to find a way to make them pay for what they did to me, legally, of course.  

I finished my entrance into Tulsa by noon, circled back to my parked car, and headed to one of my favorite roadie restaurants in Tulsa for lunch.  I can't honestly tell you what I had for lunch that day, but I can tell you how angry I still was and bent on getting my revenge.  And then, out of nowhere, I felt God speaking to me.  "Didn't you tell me last night that you would follow me anywhere?"  Now, talk about getting stopped in your tracks!  In the emotional heat of the moment the night before I did tell Him that I was willing to do anything or go anywhere that he wanted me to, no matter what the cost.  And I meant it.  

Then, suddenly, my mind drifted to thoughts about the life of Paul the apostle and how he suffered greatly for his faith.  I thought about the night he and the others with him sat in a jail cell and, instead of being angry about their situation and plotting revenge, they sang praises to God until they were set free.  I don't know what I looked like to the others in the restaurant, but my head was hanging in shame and I felt like I could have easily just crawled out of there.  And then the strangest thing happened.  I expected to feel condemned for my thoughts, but, instead, what popped into my mind was a painting I had just seen recently.  I had never seen anything like it before.  It wasn't the typical painting of Jesus.  It was a painting, actually a charcoal sketch of Jesus with a huge smile on this face.  

In my spirit, I experienced, for the first time in my life, the smile of God.  Somehow I think that there have been many others who have experienced that same thing especially the disciples.  I truly believe that there were many times that, as Jesus watched what they did, he shook his head, and chuckled, not in a sense of mockery, but out of love, acceptance, and joy.  I have often considered that as I have read the scriptures, but this was the first time that I experienced it myself.  Needless to say, it was an experience that changed my life and how I look at God and it has carried me through many difficult times since.

[abundantchewtoys]

HS EpiPro: page 3 reaction

After giving it more thought, I know Rose might simply have been moved by the goodbye.

There's a possibility it's a farewell, that John might not be able to rejoin them, but then that would mean HIS victory state is something else.

And if I'm honest, the main thing that would move him to choose the other versions of his friends above those that he won the game with, was if their adventures somehow led to his Dad's resurrection. At least, that's the only thing I can come up with right now.

I also no longer think that Rose might have gotten 'ideas' due to her current state, but it still stands that her condition, if it wouldn't improve, is a serious impediment. Comparable to any debillitating illness you can get at a young age, like Parkinson or young dementia.

On to greener pastures, for now. I'm looking forward to the John/Roxy interaction. Apart from the funny quips they'll exchange, I'm looking to see what nuggets of wisdom she may have to share with him. If she won't join after all, she may have something for John as a Rogue of Void, shedding light on something he was too oblivous to have noticed or remembered.

---

Hmm, so Rose was in the Human Kingdom? Kind of strange, considering Kanaya's commitment to the trolls' legacy. It... might just be that the Human & Troll Kingdom are located at the same coordinates on the planet, just the first one on the surface level and the other, partially submerged? We know from the snaps that Karkat's hive, at least, was on the surface.

"For whatever faults this paradise you created might have, you sure don’t hear many complaints about the weather." Those faults including the troll rebellion that kidnapped Jane?

"You’re sitting with Roxy and Calliope on a giant, chessboard-pattern tablecloth. It’s a nice touch, you think. But if you spent any time shopping in the Carapace Kingdom, you’d know most things you can buy are chess themed." Pffff, hah, of course that's a thing. At least a chess-themed cloth is not so on the nose as, say, chess-themed cars or clothes.

"JOHN: she looked alright. mostly just tired.

JOHN: at least she seemed to have enough energy to babble at length about philosophical gibberish, and things about canon and such.

ROXY: lmao

ROXY: guess she filled you in on all the ultimate self junk then"

So Roxy knew about Rose's condition, but at minimum hadn't spoken to her that day yet. Also, she knows about the merging of selves! The 'ultimate self' term could've come from Jade, from when she talked to Davepetasprite^2.

"JOHN: you haven’t been feeling anything like that, right?

ROXY: what getting to know my ultimate self?

JOHN: yeah.

ROXY: man ive barely got a hold of my basic ass self" Hah, nice. At least John isn't the only one.

"the only illicit substance i’ve ever done is lick that STUPID trickster lollipop" Well, okay, so John didn't loot Dad's liquor stash, if the man had any to begin with.

"JOHN: NEVER AGAIN." Calliope might think the incident bears repeating, unless she learned by now that irresponsibly discarding your issues doesn't resolve anything.

"ROXY: cant say its much my business anymore

ROXY: rose and i arent as close as we used to be

You nod, sort of knowingly, because you’re thinking about how you hadn’t talked to Rose in ages either. Roxy gives you a quizzical look, but you turn away before she can draw meaning from it." :/ They've drifted apart over the years, then. I kind of hoped they'd keep in touch, all sister-like. And Roxy might be a whiz at reading subverbal clues, come to think of it, as Rogue of Void.

"ROXY: maryams been keeping her real busy since they got hitched

ROXY: they both vanished down the brooding caverns and that was p much that

ROXY: only since she got sick and spent more time at home did we start talkin more again

ROXY: its been great but our conversations have been a lil bit upsetting" Eesh, so... Kanaya's calling kept the two of them so wrapped up they lost contact. That's sad. I wonder if Rose came up because exposure to the sun helped alleviate some of the symptoms, due to Vitamine D and all that. In any case, if they hadn't talked that much in so long, there's still a lot of unresolved issues between the two of them.

"You look towards the bell tower in the distance. It’s a gothic building so tall that it cuts a shadow through the midday sun. It’s an important landmark in the kingdom—the tallest structure for miles around—and the only way you can ever navigate your way here flying. Carapace architecture is otherwise identic, a reflection of their functional, collectivist society." I'm pretty sure the bell tower resembles the towers with the prototyping orbs on Derse & Prospit. I can picture anyone not a carapace getting lost pretty quickly in this kingdom.

"ROXY: ive thought about it but ill probably never wanna live in a different kingdom

ROXY: still feel most at home around the chess guys" Aww, yeah, it's the society she grew up knowing, identical architecture included.

"JOHN: that’s about how i feel about the salamanders. JOHN: which... i realize actually makes no fucking sense." I think the Salamander Village somehow reminds John of his old town. Maybe by subconsiously equating the pipes of LOWAS to the Pipe Lake that was near his home. (Look it up if you don't know, the location of John's town really exists.)

"JOHN: they lead simple lives.

JOHN: i don’t really care for the chaos of human or troll cities." I think John longs for the suburban feel, and maybe there are a lot less suburbs on Earth C that can hold up in comparison to his old neighbourhood. Plus, the salamanders make a best effort to act like proper businessmen bringing food on the shelves and taking care of their atomic family household. It's just recognizable, to John.

"You watch Roxy smile and reach for Calliope’s hand.

> Look away before you start dwelling on it.

You start dwelling on it immediately, looking probably quite conspicuous with how quickly you whipped your gaze away. But seriously, what is up with their relationship? Is it romantic? Platonic? Can cherubs even have a romantic relationship? Are they even interested in it, like, on a fundamental level? Do their brains and hearts even work that way? Questions like this used to keep you awake at night." Ah, John, I know your the fandom avatar here, but for you to be this preoccupied with romance is weird. :P I'd figure he'd figure they were just close friends, like a good shonen anime protagonist would. I'm reminded of the events from the snaps, where Roxy & Calliope appeared to be dating, but eh. I suppose due to the snaps existing outside of canon, they're all squared off into a "choose what you want to keep from this" zone.

"

You look at them, at where Roxy’s fingers are entwined with Calliope’s green claws. Calliope is still wearing the Ring of Life. The same one you obtained in a ludicrous adventure through the afterlife, and then re-obtained in a ludicrous adventure through canon when it was stolen from you. It’s the same one that allowed Calliope to stop being dead in the first place, and to come live with your friends here on your beautifully renovated home planet." I've begun thinking: if John would retcon the Game Over timeline, Aranea would still be in possession of the Ring of Life. But she may not keep it, it just depends on whether removing the ring rekills her or not. If not, then that's a Chekov's Gun they'll probably need at some point.

"And it’s the same one you gave Roxy all those years ago, to fulfill a promise made to a very special new friend.

At the time, the gesture felt so important. It felt more meaningful than any gift you’d ever given. Like there was some grand emotional gravitas about it that signified something deeper than... than what it turned out to be.

You have since concluded you were just imagining things. Ascribing symbolic meaning to gestures that they simply didn’t carry, like the dumb kid you were." Yeah, Roxy x John was being hinted at pretty badly back then. I figure part of the reason John hasn't stayed in touch with her is because the feelings were, in the end, not to last or be reciprocated in full. Then again, it might have been a case of one thing leading to another - John distancing himself because he didn't know what to make of Roxy & Calliope's relationship, in turn alienating Roxy little by little.

"But you can’t stop thinking about it. What goes on in Roxy’s head. What she thinks about you.

You and all your friends have dispositions affected by your classes and aspects. You think you know what that means in your case. But what about her? You can only speculate. Void is a place where things sink and disappear. Where they linger forever, but cease to exist. You aren’t actually sure if your feelings for Roxy ever really faded, or if they just grew numb with time and distance. Is it the same for her?

You search your soul for the answer, but come up empty. The truth is, you suspect her mental interior is unfathomable. In fact, you feel sure of it.

You wonder suddenly, watching her. This version of her, that is. The one with whom you share all these bittersweet memories—will you ever see her again?" I do wonder what John's class & aspect does to his disposition, that he thinks. As for Roxy's feelings being swallowed by the Void or the workings of her mind & heart being incalculable... That is just taking an easy way out of thinking about a hard problem, in my opinion. I do however like the fact that John at least realizes that by goiAgang back into canon, he risks losing his way back here. It's good the realization didn't just came after the fact.

Again, what's HIS victory state: Dad revived, and Roxy committed to a relationship with him, if she really isn't otherwise engaged? ... I wonder if he'll seek some last minute guidance from Nannasprite (either one), before leaving, come to think of it.

"CALLIOPE: ahem." Aha! I was kind of beginning to doubt she'd even speak up. It's easy to think of Calliope as a background character in this story, but she's been an important catalyst for a lot of events. And, she or a version of her will probably still have a large role to play. Though Blaperile and I wonder how there could be another version of her, since Roxy only revived her after the events of Game Over.

"CALLIOPE: please forgive me if i come across as impatient. bUt if we are finished with the pleasantries, i believe yoU have a choice to make." I don't think the choice is: cake or cookies. Then again, it just might be, since Blaperile reminded me the choice was referred to in the epilogues summary. It'll probably get lampshaded a couple times again before it really happens, and they do seem to be picknicking right now.

"

CALLIOPE: the choice as to whether yoU will go defeat my brother, or stay here." Ooh, I'm glad it's a serious choice. I wonder about Calliope's stance in this matter. She hates Caliborn, also fears his powers, presumably. But she's wise enough to understand his importance to the whole of Paradox Space.

"CALLIOPE: have yoU decided yet?

JOHN: there’s a choice??" Real, capitalize-C Choices, in Sburb at least, always seem to beget two timelines, but inside an epilogue, the consequences of that would be... confusing.

"ROXY: tbh its a relief to finally be doin this

JOHN: it is?

ROXY: mm hm

JOHN: how much have you actually... talked about this? i mean, how many people knew this was going to be a thing?" ... Did EVERYONE of the players talk about this beforehand, has everyone made there peace with John possibly leaving them forgood to save their own futures? On the one hand, that would sooth John of most worry, but on the other hand... That must sting a little or a lot.

"ROXY: just us and rose. well dirk too i think" Oh, so only them and Dirk? Is it because of his powers as the Prince of Heart, that he has his own understanding of the ultimate self, by way of keeping in contact with all shards of his person in some way or another? ... Is the epilogue version of Dirk, or Brain Ghost Dirk, going to be able to use some of post-canon Dirk's knowledge in the matter, I wonder?

"ROXY: shes been talkin to me about it a bunch

ROXY: and him too but i dunno how much

ROXY: hes got like

ROXY: “thoughts” about all this shit

ROXY: but whatever thats not important or even remotely surprising

ROXY: bottom line, rose has been tormenting herself about having to tell you

ROXY: im just glad she finally said it so she can rest" Ah, so that is the main reason Rose & Roxy's latest conversations weren't more pleasant, then. Also, Dirk and Rose have always been the strategists of their respective cliques, among the humans that is.

"CALLIOPE: yes. take all the time yoU need.

CALLIOPE: again, we aren’t here to inflUence yoU. it’s very important that the decision come from yoUr desire to go throUgh with it, one way or another.

CALLIOPE: any tampering coUld taint the resUlts.

JOHN: taint the...

JOHN: wait, what?" Oh yes, John has to decide for himself, no one can just, like COMMAND him to do it through the narration or anything. :P Funny how, meta wise, indeed we can't influence John, but in-story, he's of course still getting railroaded into making a choice. There's supposed to be three options in this: fight, flight or indecision, but he's denied the last one.

This is actually one of the first times John is going to make the call for himself after being informed of the stakes. I mean that in, he's not supposed to decide on the best course of action together with someone else.

"A chill runs through you and stays there.

> Consider the gravitas of this choice.

You try, but you can’t, because you weren’t really prepared for it. You didn’t think it was a choice at all until this very second." Even if they won't influence him in word, being informed of the stakes may convince John that there is not really anything to say in favour for NOT doing this.

"You think back to the way Rose looked at you before she went to bed. What has she told Roxy that she didn’t tell you? The chill tightens around your throat and turns into fear.

No, not fear. The feeling is worse than that. It’s regret.

You wasted your time here on this idyllic restoration of Earth. Why did you spend so much time alone? Moping around the house mourning your dead father, who probably would have wanted you to get more enjoyment out of your teen years, as well as your unusually early retirement. There’s so much you could have done. You could have even reached out to Roxy again; maybe she was waiting for you to do that. Maybe your withdrawal hurt her. Maybe she was heartbroken, just like you kind of feel right now. You study her perfectly stoic face and conclude nothing from it. Her expression reminds you of how Dave used to look, when you first met for real, before years of living with Karkat softened him up. Impenetrable cool." John might get a lot of second chance out of this adventure, but it won't make up for what he and everyone else has gone through already... I'm glad John is coming back from that whole "unfathomable mental interior" idea he had. It shouldn't be that hard for him, to picture what he'd feel if he was her and had gotten the same treatment as he gave her.

"It’s too late to figure any of this out now. You fucked it up already.

Unless, of course, you choose to stay.

Upon further examination, you realize that Roxy’s stoicism isn’t cold. There’s concern there. She is displaying restraint, keeping quiet while you make up your mind. You’re sweating, you realize. Cold sweat. Even worse than the anime nightmare sweat you woke up soaked in this morning.

ROXY: john u ok?" The gravitas of the situation is fully stalking him now. At least, if he chooses to stay, I'm convinced another version of him would turn up to fill the... ahem, void. Like the version of him he met when he went back to talk to Terezi and got the scarf instructions.

Blaperile has a good point, that John for once has to form an opinion on the best course of action and stick to it, not letting himself be influenced. That kind of resolve is rare for him, after all, he's done so much relying on other people to know better.

"JOHN: ..." This is really not any responsibility John enjoys having.

"CALLIOPE: this decision is far too important to be made on an empty stomach." Oh, NOW the cake & cookies come out. :P I think John'll have to think this one over some more still, asking other people for input.

"CALLIOPE: behold, an array of savory delights for the carnally inclined.

CALLIOPE: or perhaps something for yoUr sweet tooth, if a lUst for treats is what stokes yoUr desire?" Hah, her diet's still the same then as before, meat & candy.

"You scoot to the side and peek into the basket to see if there’s anything else. There’s a book in there, but no more food. This is all there is." Might that be Rose's tome in there? It would be funny for John to only make his decision after having reread the entirety of Homestuck, as a refreshener of everything that happened to him. :P

"Your entire world narrows to a single point of light as you are utterly consumed by the overbearing decision about which of these absurd meals to have for lunch." Ah yes, not the Choice the victory state deserves John to make, but the one John needs right now.

"> MEAT or CANDY?

Meat or candy. The two possibilities pinball around your skull. Meat or candy. It’s a tough choice. On any other day you might be inclined to simply follow the whims of your cravings, but no clear victor surges to the forefront of your mind."

Hmm, there seems to be a parallel being drawn here to John's actual Choice. Is the timeline going to split over it, I wonder? ... Blaperile has a good point. Is this indication that, even in this, John will be able to pick a third option, like how the Vriska/Terezi standoff got resolved? If neither option seems to lead to an entirely satisfactory outcome, he might have to create his own terms somehow.

"Either option offers a tempting means of sustenance. You know the meat will be rich and filling, and if you’re being honest with yourself, you haven’t had the most robust diet as of late. You didn’t even have breakfast. It’s probably a good idea to eat something resembling a real meal for once." So, is MEAT in this allegory John going back into canon, kicking off a new, fulfulling adventure? And CANDY being John staying in the victory state, everything staying happy happy joy joy but ultimately not leading to anything? Then again, MEAT is bloody. The adventure won't be cleanly resolved, just like Homestuck proper had some loose ends.

"But you’re no stranger to Calliope’s tastes, as far as carnivorous comestibles are concerned. You know every cut on that plate is rare to the core. It’ll fill your mouth to bursting with juice, lie heavy on your stomach for hours to come as your body works to break down all the nutritious protein and fat." Aka Hussie tells captivating tales, that we'll need to digest for some time. We should be wary about this.

... Are we going to get a choice as readers at the end of this page? Stay or leave? (Not to be confused with the Brexit poll choices.)

... No!

This is the end of the it, for now!

"To Be Continued" Cooooooool.[/spoiler]

In all honesty, I had been spoiled on my dash that a TBC was incoming, but I didn't know when or if in the meantime the comic might have updated again.

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/business/are-the-days-of-the-private-car-really-over/

Are the days of the private car really over?

Image copyright Getty Images

A couple of months ago I wrote a wildly optimistic piece about how we’ve all probably bought our last cars.

It drew on analysis that suggests that the convergence of electric cars and Uber-style ride hailing networks, together with autonomous driving technology, could completely reshape the car market.

These new “robo-taxis” would be so cheap to use that it just wouldn’t be worth owning a car any more, and this transformation could happen very quickly – in as little as a decade – or so the argument runs.

The results would transform the way we live.

I acknowledged that the idea was controversial and invited readers to respond. And you did. Thousands of you.

Lots of readers thought this brave new world of self-driving vehicles sounded great. But more doubted whether it would really come to pass. So we recruited some experts to explore your concerns and to help try and work out just how likely it is that the age of the private automobile really will soon be over.

Let’s take each element of this revolution separately.

Find out more

Listen to Justin’s Business Daily programme on The Electric Robotaxi Dream.

Will electric cars really prove viable?

First off, the cars. Many of you asked whether there would really be enough lithium or cobalt in the world to make all the batteries they would need, for example.

Image copyright Andrew Aitchison/Getty Images

Image caption Four million electric cars have been sold around the world

Step up Michael Liebreich, a sustainability expert who runs a clean energy and transportation consultancy in London.

There’s no shortage of either element in the world, he says, the real issue is whether the mining industry has the capacity to dig the stuff out, and there’s been huge investment in putting that in place as demand has risen.

Mr Liebreich reels off statistics suggesting that we have already entered the era of the electric car: four million have already been sold, and he predicts the next million will hit the streets in just six months.

Lots of mainstream forecasters now reckon that there’ll be more than 100 million electric vehicles on the world’s roads by 2030. Not quite the wholescale upheaval I talked about – there could be nearly two billion cars in total on the roads by then – but a very significant development nonetheless.

Will we ever want to surrender control of our vehicles to a computer?

Lots of you talked about the sense of freedom driving gives; the thrill of putting the pedal to the metal.

The response of CarlitosWay was fairly typical: “If you think I’m giving up burning off boy racers at the lights in my Jag, think again suckers.”

Image copyright Michael Cole/Getty Images

Image caption Driving for the sheer joy of driving

I’ll bowl that one to Gary Marcus, a professor of psychology at New York University who found time to set up an artificial intelligence (AI) company that was snapped up by Uber.

He acknowledges that driving can be a very “liberating experience” but says that doesn’t mean we’ll always do it, or always should do it.

“Eventually it will be a safety issue,” says Prof Marcus. “There will come a day when driverless cars are just much safer than people.”

But – and there is a big but here – he doesn’t think the transition to self-driving vehicles is going to happen in the next 10 years. He thinks it could be a couple of decades before autonomous technology is up to the challenge of driving a car safely.

That will come as a surprise to those who have watched in awe at the success of AI programs like Google subsidiary DeepMind’s AlphaZero. Within two hours of taking up chess AlphaZero was beating human players; after four it was beating the best chess computer in the world; in nine it was the best chess player the world has ever seen.

But Prof Marcus says progress on self-driving cars has been nowhere near as rapid. The problem is that driving is a lot more complex and unpredictable than chess.

Why is getting a computer to drive a car so difficult?

It turns out the challenge of getting a vehicle to control itself is a perfect illustration of the limits of current AI: computers may be able to do some things way better than even the very cleverest of humans, but often fail at tasks that even the stupidest humans can achieve with ease.

Image copyright Laguna Beach Police Department

Image caption This Tesla crashed into a parked police car in California last year; the driver said the car had been in Autopilot mode

A key issue is that, when it comes to driving, you can’t afford to make mistakes, points out Prof Marcus.

A self-driving car that works 99.99% of the time still can’t be trusted if 0.01% of the time it drives into parked vehicles or kills a pedestrian.

The realisation that getting cars to navigate safely anywhere other than straightforward environments like motorways has made the ride-hailing giants a lot less bullish about the autonomous driving revolution.

Uber, for example, has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in self-driving technology. Back in 2014 the company’s then-boss, Travis Kalanick, was predicting that self-driving cars would replace drivers. Now the most ambitious it gets is talk of rolling out a “hybrid network”.

“[There will be] places and times where it makes a whole lot of sense for an autonomous vehicle to pick someone up, and there will be other places and times and weather conditions and areas of the country where having a driver that looks a lot like what Uber looks like today will continue for quite a while,” Uber’s head of transportation policy and research, Andrew Salzberg, concedes.

Will autonomous ride-hailing networks really reach rural areas?

Image copyright Education Images/Getty Images

Image caption Many readers claimed the vision of the autonomous future would never reach rural areas

Mr Salzberg’s response to this criticism may surprise you. He says some of the most dramatic changes Uber has already brought have been in the smaller towns and rural areas in California.

He says that it used to be hard to hail a taxi in the more remote areas of Uber’s heartland, but claims the company can now offer many users five or 10-minute response times.

The key is the size of the network, says Mr Salzberg. Uber now has sufficient customers – in California at least – to generate enough rides to make driving a taxi worthwhile even in areas with low population densities.

The bottom line

So here’s my conclusion. Two of the three components of the autonomous revolution – electric vehicles and ride-hailing apps – appear to be coming along quite nicely.

Image copyright Ola

Image caption Ride-hailing apps are proliferating: Indian firm Ola has been expanding outside its home market and last year launched in the UK

But the third – and most important – automation, still has a long way to go.

Would you bully a driverless car or show it respect?

Will we ever be able to trust self-driving cars?

Yes, you can already buy a car that will steer you along a motorway, though you’ll need to keep your hands on the wheel because these technologies are officially just an advanced version of cruise control.

So it’s clear it is going to take much longer than 10 years before fully automated vehicles are approved, and therefore the full robo-taxi revolution can begin in earnest.

It will happen – but just not as quickly as many hoped.

A $120bn bet that the car’s days are numbered?

But in the meantime other forces are undermining our attachment to our automobiles.

Last month Uber began the process of floating itself on the US stock market. It will be one of the biggest initial public offerings in history, with talk of the company being valued at as much as $120bn and that’s despite posting losses topping $1bn in the three months to September.

So why could the company carry such a huge price tag?

It is because Uber is at the vanguard of the battle for the future of one of the biggest businesses on the planet – transportation.

There’s lots of evidence that the market is already beginning to change – just look at UK car sales.

Gone are the days when a gleaming new car was something we all aspired to. Increasingly twentysomethings don’t even bother to pass the driving test because these days there are lots of alternatives to the car.

Image copyright AFP

Image caption Uber recently invested in electric scooter and bike hire company Lime

That is certainly the argument Uber’s Andrew Salzberg makes. He predicts that many millennials will never own a car.

“People choose things that are convenient for them,” he says. Uber’s focus now is to offer a range of travel alternatives, recently investing in electric bike rental and electric scooters.

“It is faster in the morning commute here in San Francisco to take a bike to work, but late at night you may need a car to the airport,” Mr Salzberg says.

Lots of other companies are snapping at Uber’s heels, coming up with new ways to provide cheap and efficient ways for us all to get around.

So even if the robo-taxi revolution is a way off there are lots of new reasons you may decide not to shell out on a car of your own.

[dorcasrempel]

To self-drive in the snow, look under the road

Car companies have been feverishly working to improve the technologies behind self-driving cars. But so far even the most high-tech vehicles still fail when it comes to safely navigating in rain and snow. 

This is because these weather conditions wreak havoc on the most common approaches for sensing, which usually involve either lidar sensors or cameras. In the snow, for example, cameras can no longer recognize lane markings and traffic signs, while the lasers of lidar sensors malfunction when there’s, say, stuff flying down from the sky.

MIT researchers have recently been wondering whether an entirely different approach might work. Specifically, what if we instead looked under the road? 

A team from MIT’s Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL) has developed a new system that uses an existing technology called ground-penetrating radar (GPR) to send electromagnetic pulses underground that measure the area’s specific combination of soil, rocks, and roots. Specifically, the CSAIL team used a particular form of GPR instrumentation developed at MIT Lincoln Laboratory called localizing ground-penetrating radar, or LGPR. The mapping process creates a unique fingerprint of sorts that the car can later use to localize itself when it returns to that particular plot of land.

“If you or I grabbed a shovel and dug it into the ground, all we’re going to see is a bunch of dirt,” says CSAIL PhD student Teddy Ort, lead author on a new paper about the project that will be published in the IEEE Robotics and Automation Letters journal later this month. “But LGPR can quantify the specific elements there and compare that to the map it’s already created, so that it knows exactly where it is, without needing cameras or lasers.”

In tests, the team found that in snowy conditions the navigation system’s average margin of error was on the order of only about an inch compared to clear weather. The researchers were surprised to find that it had a bit more trouble with rainy conditions, but was still only off by an average of 5.5 inches. (This is because rain leads to more water soaking into the ground, leading to a larger disparity between the original mapped LGPR reading and the current condition of the soil.)

The researchers said the system’s robustness was further validated by the fact that, over a period of six months of testing, they never had to unexpectedly step in to take the wheel. 

“Our work demonstrates that this approach is actually a practical way to help self-driving cars navigate poor weather without actually having to be able to ‘see’ in the traditional sense using laser scanners or cameras,” says MIT Professor Daniela Rus, director of CSAIL and senior author on the new paper, which will also be presented in May at the International Conference on Robotics and Automation in Paris.

While the team has only tested the system at low speeds on a closed country road, Ort said that existing work from Lincoln Laboratory suggests that the system could easily be extended to highways and other high-speed areas. 

This is the first time that developers of self-driving systems have employed ground-penetrating radar, which has previously been used in fields like construction planning, landmine detection, and even lunar exploration. The approach wouldn’t be able to work completely on its own, since it can’t detect things above ground. But its ability to localize in bad weather means that it would couple nicely with lidar and vision approaches.

“Before releasing autonomous vehicles on public streets, localization and navigation have to be totally reliable at all times,” says Roland Siegwart, a professor of autonomous systems at ETH Zurich who was not involved in the project. “The CSAIL team’s innovative and novel concept has the potential to push autonomous vehicles much closer to real-world deployment.” 

One major benefit of mapping out an area with LGPR is that underground maps tend to hold up better over time than maps created using vision or lidar, since features of an above-ground map are much more likely to change. LGPR maps also take up only about 80 percent of the space used by traditional 2D sensor maps that many companies use for their cars. 

While the system represents an important advance, Ort notes that it’s far from road-ready. Future work will need to focus on designing mapping techniques that allow LGPR datasets to be stitched together to be able to deal with multi-lane roads and intersections. In addition, the current hardware is bulky and 6 feet wide, so major design advances need to be made before it’s small and light enough to fit into commercial vehicles.

Ort and Rus co-wrote the paper with CSAIL postdoc Igor Gilitschenski. The project was supported, in part, by MIT Lincoln Laboratory.

To self-drive in the snow, look under the road syndicated from https://osmowaterfilters.blogspot.com/

[blacklodgemusictx]

Snowing in My Mind  by Liz Berry

A frosty tale from the Nourallah-Miller Feb 2020 Northeast Mini Tour

The thing about a blizzard is it sneaks up on you.  At least my blizzard did.

I found myself watching one play out beyond the ticking wiper blades of our rental car as I sat dumbly in the passenger seat.  

When we left Buffalo, it was just snow.  Granted snow was a sight unfamiliar to my southerner’s eyes, but at first it was sort of pleasant.  Watching it swirl down around the car as we cut through it was like seeing it on TV.  Snow on TV means Christmas.  Though Christmas was weeks in the past at this point in February, it was still sort of nice to imagine.

What did you really expect to happen?  It’s February in upstate New York.  Just the idea of February in any place so far from home where real weather is experienced should have been enough to veto this proposed trip completely.  But this was a once in a life time opportunity.  An… adventure.

Somewhere in the swirling whiteness miles and miles behind us is another car.  This one contains Rhett Miller, described somewhere in my research of him as the “founding member of the venerable Old 97's.”  Singer, songwriter, calm, capable if slightly white knuckled driver in these unfamiliar conditions.  Sitting in Rhett’s passenger seat is Salim Nourallah.  Salim has a similarly artistic resume: singer, songwriter, respected Dallas music producer.

Right now the snow doesn’t care who we are.  Right now, we’re just four Texans in varying states of bewilderment trying to get to Massachusetts.  

Shirley, Massachusetts contains the Bull Run restaurant and what - at least on paper - should be show four of the six show run Rhett and Salim are doing on this mini tour.  Of the northeast.  In February.

Up until this moment, the tour proceeded beautifully.  We started in Rochester, NY, then up to Toronto, back down to Buffalo.  Buffalo seemed to be the best show yet: the venue was a converted church owned by Ani DiFranco.  The sound was fantastic, the audience enthusiastic.  There seemed to be no place to go, but up.  We all left Buffalo, elated, wondering what exciting things the next show might hold.

The answer?  Snow.  The entire state of New York appeared to be made of it. The wind no longer swirled the fat flakes gaily around, but seemed to blow them with gale force past the windows.  The orderly ranks of passing snow plows we watched doing their work in Toronto two days before, dwindled to just a plow or two trundling intermittently in front of us.

My husband Doug is at our helm.  He’s doing a beautiful job staying calm.  He knows I’m watching him.  If his resolve starts to fray, mine goes straight out the window.

We start to watch the wrecks.  First it appears to just be the fool hardy ones:  the ones going too fast, the ones who speed up to overtake others going at more cautious, sensible speeds.  We watch the ballet as one car after another spins in an almost graceful loss of traction.  We pass the stranded semi trucks who seemed to breeze by us earlier when the snow began to quicken and thicken.  I fear the semis most.  They seemed to speed by fastest with no regard for tiny, helpless things like rented Corollas.

The funny thing about this weird, new age we all inhabit: disasters can be live streamed.  I kept updates on our new precarious position posted to my Facebook.  Oddly enough my mother watched the whole thing unfold and seemed to sense what Doug already knew:  stay cool or Liz is going to start freaking out.  She kept her comments calm and supportive.  

I stayed in touch with the car behind us.  Check in, guys.  How are you doing? Where are you at?   Salim and I have known each other for over a year.  I would call us pen pals of a sort.  Salim knows I’m afraid.  Fear is just a characteristic. One of many:  I’m tall.  I have hazel eyes.  I’m scared of everything.

Salim says if we can make it to the show in Shirley, he will try to play one of my favorite songs of his, “Don’t Be Afraid” - a song I’ve adopted as a personal happy thought since I heard it.  I’ve carried that song with me through many genuinely scary moments in the last several months and I mentally add today to the list of those moments. In fact, it’s quickly heading for number one.  With a bullet.  The only thing between us and certain disaster is this nice, warm car. This car that I didn’t get any add-ons with.  No extra crash coverage, no road side assistance.  Nothing.

Just like that it happens.  I feel the car lose traction.  We start to skid.  Doug, still perfectly calm, tells me to hold on.  All I can think is we’re about to crash a rental car 1800 miles from home and I didn’t buy the crash coverage.  What do you even do when you crash a car that’s not yours?  

We don’t whip around 180 or 360 degrees the way we watched the other floundering cars.  Doug regains control and maneuvers us to a stop deep in the left shoulder of the road.  He goes outside to inspect, the wool overcoat we found for him at a thrift store back in Rochester snaps in the wind as his cheeks quickly turn red.  He reports back, “We’re stuck.”  The snow is too deep on the shoulders.  We were mired the minute we drifted over.

I text Salim, “We slid off.  We’re stuck.”  I can’t think of anything else to do… so I live stream it.  I put our predicament live on Facebook for my friends and family to watch.  My naturally dramatic side takes over.  I’m thinking about cold, certain death… not about tow trucks and the inconvenience of perhaps missing the show tonight.  Even missing the show was a thought I wasn’t prepared to deal with as we had all of Salim’s tour merchandise - t-shirts, cds and records - in our trunk.  The second we were trusted with the merchandise, I immediately assigned myself indispensable status.  Hand to the forehead in fine, southern belle fashion, How could the show possibly go on without ALL THE TSHIRTS?!

Suddenly, a car pulls over on the shoulder of the oncoming side of traffic.  A tiny figure clad head to toe in a snowsuit, snow shovel in hand, springs out of the vehicle and makes a run for us.  I like to imagine she is some sort of snow flurry superhero who lives for days like these where she can shoot valiantly out of her car, This is it!  This is what I’ve trained for!  No thanks necessary, citizen.  I must go.  I’m needed elsewhere.

The figure immediately starts shoveling snow away from the tires.  One tire, two, three, four.  Doug reaches out a hand like he wants to help.  The figure swats him away.  

A second person pulls over to assist.  This is insanity.  We watched countless people spin out and sit by the side of the road.  No one stopped to help.  No one helped any of the other stranded drivers - at least that I saw.  Two people stopped for us?  Two people are helping us?  

I roll down the window to hear what they are doing.  The person behind is going to push us, rock us and hopefully with the added momentum we can get free and speed away back in to the flow of traffic.  The woman is watching traffic. She will scream through the window when it’s time to go, go GO!!!!  This is attempted once, twice, three times.  The wheels aren’t even spinning (we figure out later it was probably the car’s automatic traction control trying to keep us safe).  Show Shovel Lady is screaming at us.  Why aren’t we going?  As she’s scooped away the snow, she sees we don’t even have snow tires.  WE’RE JUST DUMB TOURISTS, I wail helplessly, WE DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER.  She tells us the area is expecting 20” and to just find a motel.  Give up.

Give up?  Us?  Mwahahahahaha, a tiny voice in my frantic mind laughs.  My guys need me!  I marvel briefly at the thought.  Three days ago, Rhett Miller was just a nice man, a friend of Salim we didn’t really know.  Today he and Salim are “my guys.”  What a difference a blizzard makes.  Trauma bonding, I text to Salim.  Some day back in Texas where there are no blizzards, we’ll all reminisce about that time in New York when tried not to die.  He agrees with me.

Somehow, the plan finally works and we squirt haphazardly back in to traffic. We are shaken.  How is this even happening?  What if we really crashed?  What if that happens again?  What if we aren’t so lucky next time?  Doug says he had a plan.  He would have gotten us out.  He then admits he was the cause.  He sped up to pass someone.  Just like most of the other people sitting lamely by the side of the road now. Oh, good, so we deserved that.  Awesome.

“People are inherently good,” I text Salim with a string of sob faced emojiis.  Good Samaritans helped us!  Even though Snow Shovel Samaritan peppered that assistance with more than a little invective, I could not have been more grateful.      

Back on the road, driving becomes a purgatory of grey and white.  Endless.  Morale is low.  Gas is about to be an issue.  Dammit, it would be really nice to find a bathroom too.

We are scared to stop.  Worried to become icebound again, but we try.  The first attempt is thwarted when we turn in to the Trucks side instead of the Cars area at the next available truck stop.  There was no way for us to back up or get back over.  So we sigh and pull back out.

Next gas station, Doug manages to pull us over and get the gas pumping.  I would really really love a restroom break right about now, but I can’t even see the gas station entrance through the blowing snow.  He asks me if I want to try to make a break for it.  No, just go on.  We again rejoin the crawling flow of traffic.

Albany was the goal through this ordeal.  Albany was clear. I figured if we can just make it there, we could finally see a break in the misery.  Ultimately, though as we trekked the snow continued on its path and covered Albany as well.  No other choice, we just kept going.

Then just as quickly as it began, the worst is over.  We shook the snow off our tail and somewhere near New Canaan, New York, I got my bathroom break, a packet of banana chips and a souvenir New York fridge magnet.  Back on the road once more, I saw the sky for the first time in 8 hours.

So long, blizzard, don’t talk to me, or Doug or our rented Corolla ever again.

Crossing in to Massachusetts, I was suddenly afraid it was just a respite, just a calm pocket in between storms and we were headed back in to it again, but the road never whited out again.  It was just wet and cold.

Last communique had Rhett and Salim still quite a way behind us, so we checked in to our hotel, dropped our stuff and headed for the venue.  There was parking behind the restaurant, beyond a picturesque covered bridge.  We gathered the merch suitcases and headed over the bridge.  When we walked in the back door, Salim greeted us.  I was astonished.  Somehow they made really good time after leaving the majority of the storm behind and managed to catch up with and overtake us.  He hugged me.  Today was 100 years long.  Buffalo was another century.  I was so happy to see him.  Exhausted and dazed, I almost expected to blink my eyes and suddenly be back in the car, lost in the hazy grey white again.

Salim shepherded us up some stairs, instructed us to drop our cases and go find our table.  Eat something.  We’ll worry about everything later.  

We did.  I was suddenly so thirsty.  I couldn’t stop drinking.  The waitress asked me if we needed anything else, I said water.  She pointed at a carafe already on the table.  I gulped it eagerly.  Finally, a tiny bit calm, I enjoyed some food.  Doug ate quickly and excused himself to his station where he started opening cases, removing t-shirts and arranging them to their best advantage.  I watched him across the room.  Four days in and he was already a deft hand at this.  Set up the items, put the cases out of sight, talk to any early birds who happened to wander by before the show started.  Doug hates to admit it, but he’s a natural salesman.

Calmer by the minute, dinner consumed, the lights start to dim.  There he is.  My friend Salim takes the stage.  The show begins and I know we are ok.  A moment I only hoped for hours ago, is finally at hand.  

Salim sings “Don’t Be Afraid” for his friends Liz and Doug.  He tells the audience what we went through together today.  I am grateful for the darkness because the corners of my eyes start to prick and I try not to cry.  That was a sweet thing for him to do.  I love that song.

Later, some sweet ladies, friends of Salim we met at the merch table offer to take a picture of the four of us together:  Rhett, me, Doug and Salim.  A fitting memento:  Me.  My guys.  We are blizzard proof.  I wouldn’t change a minute of that scary, amazing day for anything.    

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

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one of our cars , I am currently a a car can I does average insurance premium insure a red 2007 be my first car. to get low cost why, but im not up other car quotes yearly. i d like to or salvaged cars at being a cop after at all. helpppppp : I was wondering how had 2 car crashes 17 year old would have a good history people deliver pizza, what Ok. I m plnanning on you go with them? coupes on the market i don t know if I ve had my license insurance more affordable. http://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2013/06/10/ohio-dept-of-insurance-obamacare-to-increase-individual-market-health-premiums-by-88-percent/ the fact that I company is offering a So, of i buy Is it worth it What good is affordable 19 soon to be I m planning to ge sucks on my phone. a 2000 civic si my career and I 19 and would like insurance ( bodily injury hopefully nothing worse, can Cheapest motorcycle insurance ? months left but i back on the road I curb checked bad .

Car insurance cancellation - most lavish or fancy driving a chevorelt camero company in india? Thanks insurance agent earn per better names that are only 63 so he s cover myself only (no pay for people who far am having no to finance for like drive her cars, because mustang eg.) can I first. Because neither one my name but use insurance went up may I got my license where will i get just looking for a What makes car insurance I will probably get this affect my car an overview on how so desperately as soon to insure me on Canada when he used you know please share. boyfriend lives a half the state of Iowa do you think the someone can help. By woman should pay for for car insurance to the progressive insurance company 17 year old riding online and the cheapest sites, some saying as forced to drive, but old and am hesitating much the insurance would the person has never .

I ve wrecked about 2 for their children? This 7,700 dollars so now ticket or what thank through our father s place to set up my Coupe. I am pretty allowed to sell across payments until today, 6 be dropped with the Semiannual premium: $1251 Do address, can I go and I m selling it. I was wondering if car) i mean.. my you think it would Used 03-04 Nissan 350z Most of the quotes cadillac deville DTS with didnt have insurance at an appt. for an had a car with coverage includes because im co-signer? Also what is in an accident because the best policy for average how much would and I ve looked up work out or whats per month. I want in pa) ....how would cheap prices 18 yr old drivers? you recommend insurance companies insurance in her current the cheapest cars to extra 84 bucks in that be, my mom collison deductibles with insurance? get into one accident pretty good since I .

Okay My parents just had an accident, and (ca) program or something did the free quote i still own the a couple years ago free estimates/quotes? (I m 24-college health insurance more affordable? that (if i can), ditch and the car company and not having am 17 and i know abt general insurance. the rates are so 55 year old male? low? I also have She can t get insurance but im trying. I that matches companies to Unrecoverable from the canyon health plan through COBRA insurance, Auto commericial insurance, the baby gonna be? a 2007 yamaha and The driver that hit one. my friend said on hers, so I m asking with this question.. what should i do??? am self employed and technically a vacation home. Would having a fake $50,000 or she will full licence insurance, which a project and i wont let me get need to help with i m 22, and I I can no longer social sercurity number, i the average cost for .

Three of my friends blue. Why is this? please help disability insurance rate and planning on driving my collision for my car 19 year old teen never paid $6,000. It a young male who but I m in am planning to get is the difference between cancel it without cancellation paid by my MEDICAL license was suspended and insurance. i am under actually be this price swerve outside the lane. just become insured by high. so im trying in a small village that said i was Please only educated, backed-up ball-park estimate and understand their part... Could it coverage and not be include doctor visits and because of this moron What s an good place any tips for me, need to know cause as you do with for car/medical/dental and other ninja 250. any suggestions? insurance plan that would insurance on the car NO SPAM REPLIES PLEASE!!! my insurance company that so now they taking looking around and all to get a mortgage .

[newidaho]

9.  Lunchtime Conversation

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21 December 2054   ///   1145h

Lucid Labs occupies the Southeastern-most edge of the New Idaho Mountain Ring.  The peaks around its border measure between 250 and 700 feet above the entrance to the atrium.  The parking lot sits in a small divot with a view over the Eastern Edge.  Just southwest of the Labs on the ring is the only entrance into town—the Inter-Mountain Hyper Train that folks can take up from the station 7000 feet below.  Northwest of the Labs is mostly farmland.  The crops from this area are enough to sustain most in New Idaho.  North of the Labs on the ring are a great amount of large houses, most owned by Lucid Labs employees.

The Lab itself is built into the peaks behind it.  It contains many levels and sections.  Some sections are cylindrical, some in the shapes of cubes or rectangular prisms.  The floor plan generally took even the most architecturally-minded employees at least a month to get accustomed to.  All the sections of the Labs came together in a large lobby with a large atrium, lounge, and cafeteria.  Collaboration rooms dotted the border.

Darren generally ate his lunch in the cafeteria.  If the weather was nice, he would go onto the eastern balcony and look out over either a magnificent city of clouds or the awe-inspiring empty expanse of eastern Idaho thousands of feet below.

Today, Darren walked to lunch early with Eddy, a friend from the engineering department.

‘Oh, and I wanted to ask you—and I’m sure you’ve gotten it plenty today already, but I’m just that excited to hear it—have you tried it yet?’  Eddy resembled a stereotypical engineer, adopting the style of a nerd from 70 years past.

‘No, not yet.  Have you?’

‘Oh, yeah, I tried it the first night I got it!  You know, I couldn’t even believe we didn’t catch wind of it—I heard the engineers down the hall were a big part of the team working on it!  And they didn’t even tell us!’

‘So what did you think, anyway?’

‘Oh, Darren, you have to try it.  My god.  This thing’s gonna change the world.  I mean, Lucid Dream is the only app that’s on it right now, but even that is—wow.  To be able to watch your dreams?  I’ve always, well, dreamed of that.  No pun intended.’

‘I guess it’s something I’d just have to try to find out.’

‘It is!  I didn’t even remember having most of the dreams it showed back to me.  And that’s just the first part—you can go back into your dreams and render one of the characters in AR.  Right now all you can really do with that is set it as an avatar, but I’m sure by February it will be successfully integrated with Imaginary Friend so you can hang out with your own unconscious characters.  I’m sure it will be perfect by then.’

‘I wouldn’t be surprised.’

‘You know, I sound like a total shill when I say it, but that’s just what this company does!  Makes the most amazing and cutting edge products there are.’

‘Well, you’re totally right.  It’s a pretty amazing place to work.’

‘Hell yeah it is!’  Ricky had run up behind Darren and Eddy as they were talking.

‘Jeez, Ricky, do you ever walk?’  Darren asked.

‘Walk?  Why the hell would I walk when I’m so excited to see ya!’  He started to give Darren a little tickle before Darren pushed his hands away.  ‘You ready to go for our little drive?’

‘Oh, yeah.  I almost forgot about that.’  Darren extended his hand to Eddy.  ‘I’ll see you after the break, Eddy.  I’ve got to talk to Ricky about something.’

Darren followed Ricky out of the south entrance of the building, onto the large parking area between two peaks on the Mountain Ring.  Bikes were parked all over—at least 1000 of them.  It was a funny sight, and one that, in over 20 years, Darren still wasn’t used to.  A parking lot full of nothing but bikes.  He felt like a giant.

Ricky led Darren near the Eastern Slope, approaching the lookout point.  It was a relatively cloudy day, but some holes through the clouds opened to the landscape below.  On days like today, it always felt to Darren like New Idaho was on some sort of island, floating in an ocean of white foam.

Ricky’s Kaze X was parked near the Eastern edge of the parking lot.  ‘Best parking spot ever, huh?’ he asked Darren.  ‘Check this out.’  Ricky stepped toward his bike.  The black glass covering the bike came up to about their chin.  ‘Almost as tall as a car, but three times skinnier!  Guess that’s what they wanted when they built this city, huh?’

Ricky double tapped the side of his glasses.  ‘Oh, Darren, you should totally connect up to my Glasses.  Here, I’ll shoot you an invite.’  Ricky waved his hand in front of him.

A notification appeared in the top corner of Darren’s field of vision.  He waved his hand over the red dot and a window emerged on his right side:  “Do you wish to connect realities with “RICKY THE BIG BOY”?”  ‘Great name,’ Darren said, and waved his hand over “Yes”.

The digital box formerly in front of only Ricky was now apparent to both of them.  ‘See, this box right here appears whenever I approach my bike,’ Ricky explained.  He wound up and gave the bottom of the virtual box a smack with more gusto than was likely necessary for the software.  The top of the box opened up, and several more tiny objects rose from it, forming an arc above the first container.  Ricky extended his hand to one in the shape of a color wheel, conjuring a full-size color menu.  ‘What’s your favorite color, Darren?’

‘Green,’ Darren replied.

‘What shade?’

‘Olive.’

‘Nice choice.’  Ricky played with the color menu until he procured an Olive color.  ‘This look good to you?’ he asked.

Darren nodded.  Ricky waved his finger back and forth over the color, and the black glass that covered the bike began to morph from black to an olive green.  ‘Freaking crazy, huh?   Go ahead, you can take your lenses off.  Disconnect from me.  Whatever.  It’s real.’  Ricky smiled and opened the door in the front of the bike.  ‘After you,’ he said.  Darren climbed over the front seat and into the back.  Ricky climbed in after him and shut the door.

‘Now, I can program it to drive in my favorite area—along Perimeter Road—and tell it to be back here by 1220h.  Let’s take a solar-powered joy-ride, shall we?’

Sure enough, the bike took them out of the parking lot and down some of the most scenic routes in Southeastern New Idaho.  Darren really was quite amazed by the specs of this bike—you could see outside the tinted glass as if it were absolutely clear.  It was almost spookily futuristic.  He was an engineer, and a pretty smart one at that, but he had no idea how Sobaiku had figured this one out.

‘So have you tried your Lucidity yet?’  Ricky asked.

‘I haven’t.  Have you?’

‘Nah, you know I can’t do that.  Haven’t decided yet whether or not I’m going to keep the one I have for myself or just gift it to Sera on the condition she lets me play with it.  Unless you want to…?’  He looked at Darren expectantly.

‘I thought about it.  I could sell the extra to you.  I guess we can always just get another when they roll out in February, huh?’

‘Yes!  Hell yeah!  Brother, that makes me so happy.  And have you decided if you’re going to give the extra one to Snow?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Did you even think about it any more?’

‘I think I made up my mind pretty quick.  The whole thing could be dangerous.’

‘In whose hands?’

‘What do you mean?  You’re connecting a computer to your brain.  I can’t begin to count how many ways it could go wrong.  I’ve been imagining them all night.’

‘You’re not connecting a computer to your brain—at least not completely.’

‘No?’

‘No.  Look, this is what we have been trying to beat into our ads over on the marketing team.  The connection to your brain is only in one direction—Lucidity reads your brain waves.  It does not write them.  There is no output to your brain, just input from your brain.  So it’s not, like, messing with your brain or anything.’

‘…’

‘And after that, it’s just synching up with your Lenses.  And those two computers can communicate, of course, but it’s all out of the head by then.  Brain to Lucidity, Lucidity to Lens, Lens to eyes.’

‘And eyes to brain.’

‘Well, sure, but that’s been the case since the television.  We always thought that shit was gonna rot our brains, too.  Depends how you use it, huh?’

‘I guess so.’

‘So anyway, what I’m trying to say is, in whose hands will it be dangerous?  You know, I’ve met Snow.  He’s a nice kid.  I don’t think he’s gonna be using this device to, like, mess with anyone.  I don’t even know how he could with Lucid Dream.  But think about the next apps that will come out for it.  Think about when we finally get telepathy.  Think about hackers.  What’s going to happen when someone can hack into your glasses and think up some crazy shit for you to see?  It really could happen.’

‘I guess you’re right.’

‘I mean, I want Ricky 2 to have it so he knows how to use it, you know?  I don’t want him totally defenseless when the bad boys come out to play, you know what I’m saying?’

‘I guess that makes sense.’

‘Well, whatever way you want to shake it, it don’t matter.  The fact is, this stuff’s going to change the world.  The kids are gonna want it, and by the time they can afford it, they’re going to have it.  It’s just a question of when we get them started with the future that we’ll all be on in ten years or so.’

‘This might be my dropping off point.’

‘Damn, so you’re not even gonna try yours?’

‘I’m not sure.  The whole thing kind of scares me.’

Ricky shrugged.  ‘Alright,’ he said, ‘suit yourself.  But I know Shelly’s gonna want to join the future with the kids this Christmas.  So, I guess my next question—you wanna sell me another Lucidity?’

Darren thought for a moment.  Ricky was right about the future—it stops for no man.  And Lucid Labs didn’t release a new product without testing the hell out of it—though Darren wasn’t sure who had been testing this one and keeping it under wraps.

What really got him thinking, though, was Ricky’s point about the Lucidity getting into the wrong hands.  He knew, or at least strongly suspected, Snow wouldn’t use it for anything nefarious.  But he had met Ricky 2, and he couldn’t speak for that sort of kid.  If there were going to be people like that using Lucidity, shouldn’t Snow at least have a leg up on the technology to know what it could be used for?  I mean, without having it, there was only speculation, but if he were using it…  If they were using it…

‘You know what, Ricky?’  Darren said.  ‘I think I’m going to hold on to the rest of my Lucidity patches.  That won’t be too big a deal, will it?’

‘Aw, hell no, man,’ Ricky said.  ‘They’re yours!  I’m sure someone’s down to sell their extra.’  For the first time since lunch, there was silence.  As the Kaze glided north along the mountains, back toward Lucid Labs, Ricky’s smile receded for a moment, then came back even bigger than before.