#I mean he was until Luke met Ben

[scratchandplaster]

First Words

CW: grief

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"Say Dad." 

The infant nestled in his lap eyed the nursery warily. Shepard realized quite fast that his son only fell asleep with him close by; a fact he didn't mind at all. After a stroll outside, he figured a short lesson in pronunciation couldn't hurt. 

"Mmuh," his son hummed instead.

"Daaad. Like that, Luke. Dada is too childish, but I'll accept it as a temporary measure."

Despite quietly babbling and entertaining himself with blowing spit bubbles, Luke didn't even try to copy the words. Stubborn little thing.

"Not Pop or Father, that's horrible. Fuck no. What am I, a priest?"

Finally, reaching both hands upwards towards him, his son spoke:

"Mah…mhh."

Oh.

"Mom is watching out for you," Shepard murmured, quick to swallow the bitter lump of hurt in his throat. Pressure weighed his heart down heavy, suddenly feeling so much lighter when Lukas' fist wrapped around his pinky.

"She's always with us."

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Masterlist]

Prompt: singing/first words/inside jokes

@augusnippets @whumpyourdamnpears

[ratcatcher2world]

I met ben barnes , jessie mei li and the cast of Shadow And Bone this weekend for the SAB convention 'ASOCAS3'.

For the first day I took my photo with ben. He was really super nice. When he saw my sweater and my hat, (merchandising his "Songs For You" EP" he said "wow , you look amazing". he asked me how I was. He gave me a hug as soon as he saw me. I managed to speak to him in English. I showed him the pose I'd chosen and he agreed straight away. He thanked me in French.

In the afternoon I had my selfie with him. Basically it was just a single photo and he took 2 (a simple one and a funny one).

Throughout the day, there were various panels with all the actors/actress.

The second day I had a total of 5 extras with ben and jessie.

I got my picture with jessie mei li . She loved my beanie with the grishaverse logo. She said i was amazing . And then my picture with Ben and Jessie. They were sweethearts, super nice. Just before the darklina photo, despite the stress, I managed to focus on Ben and asked him "can you wait a bit until I put on my beanie for the photo" directly he said yes. When he saw my beanie, he had a big smile on his face and said it looked cool.

I didn't get a chance to ask Ben my question at the panel, as a lot of people had gotten up to ask him questions.

In the afternoon there were selfie sessions with Jessie. She was really sweet with me. She took 3 selfies with me instead of just one.

After that came the autograph session. For Jessie it was quite quick as I had managed to get to the front of the queue.

Fun fact: jessie pronounces my first name correctly. When she heard how I pronounced it, she repeated it very seriously so as not to make any pronunciation mistakes. She was even very touched that I wrote her a letter. She looked me straight in the eye and said "thank you, darling, that means a lot to me". (So now I tell myself that Jessie has a bracelet that I made her).

For Ben's autograph, the queue was surprisingly quick too.

I asked Ben (with the help of the translator because i was very stressed), was he inspired by Billy Russo (his character in the Marvel series The Punisher) to play Kirigan. Since Billy and Kirigan have a lot in common .

He told me he'd been inspired by it, as they're very similar.

I waited until he had signed my book before handing him the letter I had written him.

He was really touched that I had written him a letter. He thanked me by holding my forearm, looking me in the eyes and saying "thank you, beautiful, that means a lot to me".

It really was the best weekend of my life. I don't regret a thing. I met some extraordinary people. I overcame my shyness a little during the weekend. I cried at the end of the closing ceremony because I didn't want it to end.

Another fun fact. Calahan Skogman was so touched by the presence of so many fans that he took out his phone during the opening ceremony to film us (so I'm probably in his phone). And Luke Pasqualino unfortunately had to leave in a hurry due to a personal problem. He still finished everything he had to do at the convention, and then went back to the panel room to thank us for our kindness, for the warm welcome he'd received from us, and for making him feel at home with all the fans.

There was also a problem with a couple who brought their children (one not even a year old and the other not even 6 months old). All this without protecting their ears).

There was also a problem on both days. With a "fan" who made Daisy Head and Danielle Galligan cry. Right after she made Patrick Gibson and Sujaya Dasgupta really uncomfortable. Patrick laughed but very nervously. They didn't answer the question, which was so embarrassing for them.

After that, she forced Calahan to do a pose for the photos that he didn't want to do because he was so uncomfortable. She pushed until he reluctantly agreed. Then she said he'd touched her inappropriately during the photo. Which isn't true, because the fans in the room and the organization's staff saw exactly what had happened and that she was the problem.

[askbensolo]

Hi ben! Hows space mom?

…I don’t know.

I mean, not that anything’s wrong. I just…don’t really talk to her much.

I know. It’s bad.

She used to get on my case about not calling or visiting enough. Not as much anymore, though. Maybe she just got tired of fighting with me.

“Family is important,” said Uncle Luke, who had come home one day to find his aunt and uncle gone forever. “You never really know how much time you have left.”

“You should be nicer to Mom,” said Rey, who had been abandoned by her birth parents as a child. “We’re lucky to have her and Dad. You’re lucky.”

“I know you’re all grown up now, but don’t be a stranger, okay, kid?” said Dad, who had never had a family at all until he met Mom and Luke. “We like having you around. Miss you.”

“You’ll always be my baby,” said Mom, who had been forced to watch as her mother and father and everyone she knew perished in a bright light a million miles away. “And more precious to me than you’ll ever know.”

“Thanks,” said me, Ben, who had spent his entire life around all of them all of the time, and kind of liked his new life apart from them. “Got it.”

[artist-issues]

Thinking about how people call TLJ Luke Skywalker a "character assasination" again.

I’m going to try to keep my response to this short and sweet. Basically everyone wants to dump on Rian Johnson’s explanation of Luke Skywalker hiding on Ahch-To and almost killing his nephew once a long time ago. They think Luke Skywalker, strong and heroic at the end of A New Hope, would never do such things. “He’d never give up on Ben! He’d never leave Leia and Han and the galaxy to defend themselves!”

Okay but think for one second. Think in step with the Original Trilogy.

The best characters are believable. Luke is believable because he has multiple levels to who he is. Yes, when met in the OT, he is hopeful and adventurous, and he sees the good in others. Old recluse Ben Kenobi, irritating but lovable smuggler Han, treacherous father Vader, you name it. If it breathes, Luke seems willing to believe it has good in it. But Luke is more than just your standard Hopeful, Forgiving Hero. He is also prideful. LET ME FINISH: - Luke is told by Yoda that he cannot be trained because he is too young, but Luke insists that he can. - Luke is told not to go confront Vader until he is ready, but he goes anyway because he believes he is the only one who can save his friends.

He is told not to go to his father, because it is too late for Vader to be saved, but he goes anyway. It turns out all right in the end; Luke goes, in his pride believing he can resist the Dark Side and the Emperor. He almost turns to the Dark Side, believing he can stop his sister’s endangerment and the death of the Rebellion. He is goaded into fighting Vader, and almost kills his own father. But then he chooses to have mercy and be a Jedi, instead. If not for Anakin’s return to the Light, even that decision would have gotten him killed. But like I said, it turned out okay and Luke was remembered as the hero who kept up belief in the Light.

So let’s say you’re Rian Johnson, and the character everyone believes is a super powerful god of hope and heroism has, for some reason, been sitting on an island while his nephew kills his best friend and almost kills his sister and destroys everything Luke worked for. You have to explain that.

You have to keep Luke in-character. So what part of Luke Skywalker,  in the OT source material, might have grown in the lifetime since we saw him last? What would the Sacred Original Trilogy Luke do if he had a family member who, leaning into the dark side, might be revealed to someday destroy everyone he loved?

Wasn’t there a moment where Young, Sacred Original Trilogy Luke Skywalker almost killed a family member under the same circumstances? Oh yeah. When he had Vader at his mercy at the end of Return of the Jedi. So it looks like, sometimes, it IS in-character for Luke Skywalker to have “a briefest moment of pure instinct,” and “I thought I could stop it,” and then “it passed.”

Okay, so maybe Luke threatening his nephew in a moment of fear and weakness can be said to be in-character. But what about after that? What about, in the consequences of that, Luke deciding not to make up for it but instead go into hiding? That’s super out-of-character, right? I mean, who would do that? Who would fail to save the Galaxy from a new darkness after driving his apprentice to that darkness, then choose to isolate himself and seek answers about where he went wrong by studying ancient Jedi artifacts?

Oh. Ben Kenobi. Who failed to prevent or defeat the darkness in his apprentice, and so decided to isolate himself and study the Force with his Master’s ghost. Ben Kenobi, who was one of Luke Skywalker’s only two role models in the Force did that same thing. Of course, Ben Kenobi was guarding Luke all the time, so he wasn’t totally abandoning the galaxy. But maybe, when Luke ran from his failure, he thought he was going to find some sort of answer to the problem. Some sort of insight to where he went wrong, so he could go back and save Ben. Only to find, on the island, that the only insight he could reach was the utter hubris of the Jedi Order he used to idolize. Then he starts internalizing that hubris, projecting it onto himself, coupled with the crippling added weight of having failed the only family he has…and he truly believes that the world is better off without him.

Okay, but who would, after failure, begin a young woman’s training and then leave her to go fight the danger you’ve been avoiding, all alone? When you know she might be killed?

Oh. Master Yoda. Who started an ill-advised apprentice’s training in Empire Strikes Back, and then when that apprentice stubbornly flew off to confront his nemesis, warned against it and ultimately stayed behind. Master Yoda, Luke Skywalker’s other only role model in the Force who did the same thing. Now, luckily, Yoda corrected this. Yoda finished Luke’s training, and gave him advice on his destiny, then passed into the Force. And when Luke was getting ready to leave Rey to her fate, it wasn’t until Yoda reappeared on Ahch-To that Luke returned to hoping. He realized that, yes, Rey was going to fail to turn Ben Solo the same way he failed to prevent Ben Solo from turning to the Dark Side. But thanks to Yoda, he also realized that that didn’t mean she needed to do what he did and isolate herself, or close herself off from the Force. She needed to learn from the failure and grow beyond it. That is what Luke is doing in the final Act of TLJ. He is proving to Rey, through a dying connection to the Force, that she can focus on and have peace in her purpose.

That IS in-character for Luke. Maybe, if Ben Solo hadn’t been Force sensitive and Snoke hadn’t turned him to the Dark Side from afar during training, Luke would have had a different in-character development between OT and ST. Maybe, if some galactic threat that had no direct, dark-side connection to his family had appeared, he would’ve kept fighting and become an even stronger beacon for hope in others and perseverance. But that’s not what happened. It’s a little tragic, but then, the story isn’t about him any longer.

The story is about Rey. And Rey needed to learn that “her place in all this” wasn’t important.

(Which is paralleled beautifully by Luke choosing to give himself up literally, and thematically, for her to go on. He was choosing to pass into the Force BECAUSE he didn't need to be the one in the spotlight, saving the galaxy, with everything rising on him, anymore. Ever since the cave at Dagobah, Luke's whole problem is that, we'll-intentioned as he is, saving the galaxy and helping his friends, he thinks too much of himself as the instrument of change, for good or evil. He thinks too much of himself.)

Rey didn’t need to be the answer to Kylo Ren’s problem, and she didn’t need to find out that her parents gave her meaning. It was just finding a purpose in helping others, passing on the Jedi growth to new generations, that mattered. That's what Luke's whole role is in this movie. He learns that in hiding away on an island, he was still acting out of hubris; like if he joined the galaxy again and came out of hiding, he'd cause more problems just by being a living legend. But in this movie he essentially learns from Yoda "it ain't that serious." Just pass on your strengths and your weaknesses because it ain't all about you.

Which is hard for people to understand, because Star Wars fans love Luke Skywalker. He's Luke Skywalker. But this isn't Part 4 of the Sacred Original Trilogy. It's a BRAND NEW trilogy, FOLLOWING Luke's story, but not HIS story any more. If this were the new "Luke Skywalker" tv show, and we opened on our main hero running from his problems, then yeah, we could have a legitimate offense. But that's not what this is. Context is the only way out of the plastic bags Luke fans seem to be suffocating under.

And also, it’s actually kind of great, the way Luke passed on. It echoes the OT, but in a better way. In the OT, Ben Kenobi dies by choosing to deactivate his light saber after deliberately engaging Vader, a “lost cause,” when he knew there was a young hero who could carry on the mission after he was gone. Luke deliberately engages Ben Solo, but NOT as a "lost cause." In fact, by being a Force projection, Luke NEVER gives Kylo Ren the option to "strike him down in anger." He won't be the instrument of Ben Solo choosing more darkness. And he even says to Leia, "nobody's ever really gone." Where Ben Kenobi sacrificed himself so that Luke could defeat his fallen apprentice in the future, Luke sacrifices himself so that Rey could live on and SAVE his fallen apprentice.

If that's not Luke Skywalker, tell me what is.

And it goes perfectly with the best theme in the film, "We won by not killing what we hate; saving what we love."

So yeah. Explain to me how that was a character assassination? Explain to me how that did anything other than make TLJ a better movie and strengthen the main characters?

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Barista!Luke Masterlist

All I Want For Christmas (Is You) (ao3) - onceuponatime michael/luke E, 11k

Summary: “The little bell clings above the door when he pushes it open, and he stamps his feet on the welcome mat to rid any clumps of snow that may have stuck to his shoes. The place is completely empty, not even anyone behind the counter, and he wonders for a second if they’re even open when there’s a small crash and a ‘fuck’ from somewhere in the back.

Michael chuckles to himself and unzips his jacket. He knows the cause of that racket. “You okay back there?” he shouts, leaning over the counter to try and see into the storage room.”

Doubtful Heart, Foolish Love (ao3) - valiantnerd (arareads) luke/ashton M, 18k

Summary: Cameron left their sheets smelling like foreign flowers every other day, not even extending Ashton the kindness of showering between beds and Ashton doesn’t know if it was the mistress who created the cracks in his relationship or if she just sneaked between them and then left neon signs pointing at them; but neither of the options make it better.

Ashton’s absent lover ruins their relationship by seeking greener pastures, leaving him devastated. Luke, the barista who becomes his unlikely ally, helps him find greener pastures for himself.

espresso hues (ao3) - kaliedoscopeminds luke/calum T, 4k

Summary: It’s not until he’s pulling into his own drive ten minutes later that he glances back down at his drink and is fairly horrified by the ghostly sight that meets him. His four-shot latte is a hideous shade of almost grey. Who the fuck made this latte and thought it was appropriate to serve to him? Calum sighs and lets himself into the house. He might have met a hot Starbucks employee called Luke, but he’s got an extremely feeble latte in return.

Home is just a feeling, after all (ao3) - Aston (orphan_account) michael/calum T, 11k

Summary: Luke is a new barista at a coffee shop in town. This is exactly how he meets Ashton, Michael, and Calum.

I’ve Got The Recipe (ao3) - FayeHunter michael/luke T, 4k

Summary: Michael keeps going back to the same coffee shop and no, it has nothing to do with the cute barista.Or 3 times Michael went to Luke’s coffee shop to see him and 1 time Luke visited Michael at his job

like a bursting sunrise (ao3) - bellawritess luke/calum T, 2k

Summary: Luke holds out his free hand, and Calum shakes it. Of course his hands are exactly as soft as they look. Calum starts to resent the limitations of visual art. How is he meant to convey the soft hands, the twinkling eyes, the deep and mellifluous laugh? With an HB pencil?

“I’m gonna go make your coffee,” says Luke, and with that he walks away. Calum watches him go and resents the fact that drawing Luke’s face means he can’t draw Luke’s back. Art is highly overrated.

(Or: Calum’s an artist, Luke’s a barista, you know the drill.)

melting in the snow (ao3) - toddamyanderson luke/calum T, 5k

Summary: The cute barista is working at the coffee shop.

This isn’t a rare occurrence, but the circumstances are rare, because it’s snowing and Calum is cold and he’s not on his way to work this morning.

put the stars in our eyes (ao3) - burstintocolor (anchormate) luke/calum M, 25k

Summary: Ben hangs up, leaving Luke still reeling. His family thinks he and Cal are dating. And they weren’t surprised. They’d been waiting for it. His mum cried because she was so happy for him. And worst of all, he hadn’t had a chance to correct Ben. Luke rolls over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and letting out a groan.

or, luke's family thinks he's dating calum. luke doesn't correct them.

sail along, let your path unfold (ao3) - deserteyes, TheseEmptySoundsAndEndlessStories luke/calum T, 6k

Summary: His heart's beating frantically with nerves. He doesn't know why; it's not like he's going to propose or anything. Just say "Hey, my name's Luke, I'm your new neighbor, nice to meet you" or something like that. Easy. He's got this, one hundred percent.

--

Luke gets a new neighbor.

taking flight (ao3) - strxngersagain luke/calum G, 5k

Summary: Luke likes routine. He likes getting up every morning in his tiny apartment he shares with Michael and getting the same train to the airport every morning. He likes going to the dive bar on Hunter Street on fridays with his friends. He likes his routine. 

Luke works at Starbucks at Sydney International Airport. Calum is a security guard at the same airport. Luke spends most of his mornings looking forward to when Calum comes for a coffee on his break. Calum spends most of his mornings looking forward to when he gets to see Luke on his break.

[isbus]

The Sinful Affection

Chapter 3: Rich Girl

“Let’s head out!” Luke exclaims, excited to find something new to wear. You waited for the other’s to step out of the mansion first, but Luke opened the door but didn’t exit. “Ladies first..” He smirked. It was like he wanted you to think he was gorgeous.

“WHY, THANK YOU LUKE! I’M SO HAPPY YOU THOUGHT OF ME!” Samuel strutted out the door before you, scowling at Luke while saying that in a very bad female voice. Damn he was rude.

Luke frowned at Samuel, clearly mad that he ruined his moment. To make matters worse, Samuel was taunting him with the way he walked out the door; Samuel was swinging his hips with each step which was basically shaking his ass at him. Wow. Unimpressed, you continued on. “Thank you, Luke. You were very kind.” You smiled at him.

“At least someone knows.” His frown turned into a sincere look of happiness. You met him yesterday, but you could already tell this was different from his usual cocky expression. This was special.

“Come on, hoes! Stop acting like garden tools and get a move on!” Luke shook his head when hearing Samuel ruined it.

Before one of you could step out, Levi rushed out the door. Ben and Bertram tried stepping out at the same time, but of course that didn’t work. Ben pushed through, and Bertram backed off. Alfonse sashayed out. Last was Matt. Luke exited after the blonde, then you.

“What about Vaughn?” You ask.

Luke shook his head. “Forget about him. He doesn’t matter. Today is about us eight, not him. Any day he decides to come out can be his day.” He laughs.

“But I still feel bad to leave him out.” You continue on about the mystery man. You don’t even know him, but you still protest against leaving him. You must have had a gut feeling that he would be important.

“If you keep going I’ll have to punish you~ I promise it won’t be as pleasant as it sounds.”

Alfonse butts in. “He will too. I highly recommend his spanking~” You blushed at Alfonse’s remark. “But still shut up about Vaughn.”

“That’s what I’m saying! If Vaughn is THAT important, then go get him yourself.” Now you were put on the spot. You decided against going back since you didn’t know him and you were awkward.

“Nevermind..” You say detachedly. It was obvious that you felt bad about it, and that you felt something bad would happen if you left him. But it was too late. Everyone was walking away.

You took a breath, then caught up. Luke smiles. “That-a-girl! Now, let’s go to-”

“Gold shop here I come!” Matt cuts in with a smile.

…

Levi tells him the actual plan as Luke shakes his head again. “I still can’t believe that he doesn’t do Crypto Currency or NFTs.”

“I might be greedy, but I know a bad deal when I see one!” Matt shouts back to Luke. You chuckle at Matt’s remark, having prior knowledge about dumb shit like that. Like, who even does that stuff and thinks it’s smart?

Back to the story!

They kept walking with you, making sure to set a perfect pace so that you could follow without you falling behind or you not seeing where they went. “Almost there!” Alfonse shouts when you start to see buildings ahead.

“What do you mean, almost there?! We haven’t even gotten close!” Ben laughs.

Alfonse looked down. “I meant that we were nearly within the city..” Ben noticed it, then fell back to Alfonse.

“Need a soda or cake or something? That’s what makes me happier!”

“Ha! I might be a ho, but you can’t bribe me with food!” Alfonse sounded happier. Ben laughed again, this time, it didn’t sound nearly as cocky as earlier.

We continued to walk until Samuel and everyone else stopped. Looking around, you see that you have re-entered the city. You only knew that because there was a sign on your right that said the usual. ‘You are now entering: Hell’s City - Pop: 666,666,666+’. Damn that’s a lot of sixes…

Samuel looked back at us with a neutral expression, then waved us forward. We followed and kept stepping behind him. He led us on, then Luke ran to the front with Samuel right next to him. Everyone talked to each other- Levi talked with Alfonse, Ben and Bertram, Samuel and Luke. Only ones left were you and Matt.

What would you do?

Strike up a conversation like a match!

“Hey, Matt!” You smiled at him sweetly.

He smiled back like a goldfish*. “What’s up, [Y/N]? Got any shinies?”

“Uh, not right now, but I did wanna talk.”

“Oh. What about?”

CHOOSE WHAT TO TALK ABOUT!

>Flirt.

*Friendly Conversation

*About the others…

*Surprise Me!

When looking down at the chat box, you decided to get surprised.

YOU SELECTED: Surprise me!

After that something within you opened your mouth and made you speak. “So, you like jazz?”

Fuck. Was that flirting?! That was so dumb! Now he’s looking at me crazy!

…

“How’d you know?!” He exclaimed. He actually liked it?! Wow. L-U-C-K-Y! “What’s your favorite style of music?” Matt asks and you reply with your favorite. He gasped.

“Yup. That’s my favorite.”

“Nice! It’s always fun hearing about someone new!”

You kept the conversation going, making sure neither of you guys got bored. You two occasionally laughed at jokes we made, and you two smiled A LOT at one another. It felt nice. Ah, to speak to someone half-way normal…

You could guess he felt similar to how you feel. It made you feel comforted when he laughed. When he agreed, when he smiled, when he was normal- everything he did made you feel safe in the city of Hell.

“Alright! We’re in the city, and right over there is Maison Du Vetements*!” Alfonse exclaims. You were shocked with how long it took to get there. It wasn’t super slow, actually it was relatively quick! Everyone except for Matt sped up. You sped up a little bit, but you made sure not to lose Matt. You barely know him, but you can tell he gets distracted easily.

“Ready, Matt?” You looked happier than when you left the house. When you looked back at Matt, it was as if you traded emotions with him.

“Y-Yeah.. Can I tell you something really quick?” He looked up at you. Once you got out of everyone’s way, he stuttered a little.

“What’s up, bud?”

“I- I think…” He looked over at everyone else who were watching him. “OH! Thank you for coming with us!” He laughs almost nervously.

You could tell that’s not what he wanted to say, so when they walked into the clothing store, you stopped him from following. “What’s wrong?” You whisper.

“It’s not important.. Let’s just get inside so we don’t make them curious.” He looks back and forth at you and the ground. He entered the store and you were sure to follow him like he wanted. “Do you know where the Indian outfits are?” He smiles at them.

A shopkeeper overheard the group. “Indian formal wear is that way, French is there,” She continued listing off the areas of the world and pointing to where they would be found. You ask about your nationality. “Yup. We have it over there!” She points.

“Thank you.” You were about to walk off.

“Say.. are you with them?”

“Yeah? Why?” You ask.

“Well, be careful. They’re called sins for a reason.” You were super confused. “Beware of them becoming akratic*. It can be terrifying.” Sins? Is that what they are? You wondered about it but it made sense. Yet it was still not right. Why would they keep up these appearances if they were truly the embodiment of sin?

“Yeah… That can’t be right.” You shake your head.

She chuckles. “Are you sure? Haven’t you noticed their personalities and such? There’s seven of them! Like the seven sins!”

“No, they can’t be!” You were sure that wasn’t right. You started to get fed up from her bullshit. She might have theories, but you had evidence that she was wrong. But, your evidence isn’t solid, so you can’t really explain.

The shopkeeper nearly got angry at you, as she was about to shout at you but stopped. She began coughing. The coughing turned to spitting out blood. “What the fuck?! What are you-” She yells at you.

“She’s not doing anything; I am.” A familiar voice sounds out from behind you. The attitude, and how her eyes turned a neon green- it was obvious now. You look back at the voice and see Levi who was glaring at the woman. His eyes glowed green as he stared angrily at her. “If you want to be banished to purgatory, then keep it up. If not, apologize.”

“Why would I-”

He cocks an eyebrow and she coughs out more blood. “Why would you apologize? Well it’s simple, but I guess I have to dumb it down for you. You’re being an asshole to a girl just because she’s hanging out with The Seven Deadly Sins.” He uses air quotes on the last part. “Which is bullshit, by the way. So say it.”

“You fucker!” She shouts and immediately screams from it.

“Uh-huh…” He looks at his nails mockingly. It might be just your imagination, but his choker was glowing too. “Say it, and I’ll help you out. If you keep being rude to me, your acidic blood will burn you to nothingness. If you say one more word to or about her, your going to purgatory’s torture system.”

She growls, her pride getting the better of her.

“What would you choose, [Y/N]? Apologize, disappear, or go through an eternity's worth of torture until I deam it unneccessary?”

“Apologize, duh. Would you rather be in a shit ton of pain or say some words?” You say to her, finally gaining some composure from the green haired biker boy.

She finally gives in. “UGH! FINE, I’M SORRY! GET RID OF THIS, NOW!”

“I’ll take it.” He begins to walk away.

“Wait! Are you going to get rid of it?!” He turns to her, his eyes and collar finally dying down from the glow.

His eyes widen as he flicks his head. “Whoops! I forgot I couldn’t heal, silly me!” He laughs loudly. You follow him as he walks back to the Hispanic section. “What do you need?” He stops when seeing the perfect shirt-corset-skirt combo for him in his size.

“Well, thank you for starters…”

He snickers. “You’re thanking me? Surprising.”

“Secondly, can you help me pick out something for this ball?” You ask, hoping to talk to him more.

“Someone as good as you shouldn’t be hanging out with me, you know that? Even if I just saved you from an ass beating.” He looked away. When his head turned, you noticed his earring; a piece of a broken heart in a shade of green. It dangled from his ear and moved as he did. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You jumped a bit at the sudden sound of him. “I’m sorry.”

“Haven’t we gone through this?!” You heard Samuel’s voice. He didn’t really sound angry, he just sounded… comedic. He sounded like he was talking to his lover and he wanted to play with them.

You laugh a little. “Yeah, haha.” You smile at him. You felt someone looking at you, looking behind you, it was just Levi looking at the clothes he picked. Weird.

“Come on, hoes! We got to get ready for the ball! It’s nearly seven!” Alfonse exclaimed from the front of the store. Everyone rushed out of the shop. Once everyone bolted out of the store with the clothes, you watched in awe. Alfonse bent over to laugh at the shopkeeper, who was on the floor. “And no, we aren’t paying for your trashy service.”

Alfonse came back up and sashayed out with a huge amount of bags. It looked like Luke had nearly the same amount, but it wasn’t enough. “Gender-convenient, am I right?” Luke chuckled.

“Well this includes, makeup, the dress, heels, gloves, a fan, and more so~”

- End Scene -

*THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK! Goldfish~

*Mansion of Clothes

*Akratic better fits the word than the previous one. (The previous being Yonderly)

[galacticwildfire]

found.

Twenty Two

Pairing: Kenobi!oc x Din Djarin

Summary: Satine and Obi-wan’s daughter fought in the war against the Empire and lost her faith when she lost Mandalore. Until she found him. A lone Mandalorian searching for a Jedi.

Warnings: lil smut, fluff, parent things, not much warnings but she meets Ahsoka and it gets angsty, next few chapters will be intense

Word Count: 7.5k

A/N: next chapter is boba time and so so so sorry its been so long

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Din's hand is in mine as we fly back to Chandrila and I'm heavy with contemplation at what comes next. We have Moff Gideon to deal with, but I need to find someone who can help me in keeping him safe, who knows more than I do, and Yoda was hardly a help.

I need to find Ahsoka, in truth I don't know how Bo-Katan has managed to keep tabs on her but she has enough to know where she is. All those years through the rebellion we never met, it was as if she'd all but disappeared and has now emerged again. I'd known others, having briefly met Kanan and Ezra when Leia and I undertook a mission on Lothal and through Hera and Sabine I'd learned of their connection with her but in the chaos of war I'd never been able to find her, almost as if she never wanted to be found.

It frustrates me in those early years before the Death Star I couldn't have done more on the front lines like she did, but for the sake of Mandalore I had to operate with the same discretion as Leia had, and when it came to working with the few remaining Jedi I knew of... I couldn't give the Empire any further reasons to suspect me of being one either.

"You alright?" Din asks, noticing my quietness.

"Just thinking," I tell him. "We have Moff Gideon to deal with and I want the child to be safe and I need to know how we can train him to give him the best chance possible." In the back of my mind I debate leaving him with Luke when our journey inevitably takes us back into the moff's path, Luke has become a great Jedi but neither of us are prepared to train an individual like Grogu alone, or even Ben yet for that matter. Which is why I need someone who knew Anakin Skywalker, someone who knew an individual as powerful as they have the potential to be. "We'll get the kid and go to Ahsoka first."

He nods, trusting me. "Alright."

He heard me when I told Yoda in no uncertain words that I would marry him, he hasn't acknowledged them but I've felt something change in him since, as if he's suddenly at ease.

"It will buy us enough time for me to check with my contacts," I tell him. "Find out where Moff Gideon is and the type of strength he's got. From what we saw on Tatooine this isn't something we can handle alone which means we need to get the advantage over him in knowing what we're facing and having plans in place."

"Yes general," he says and squeezes my hand, easing me now as he tilts his helmet towards me. "Whatever the plan is, I'm behind you."

"I know," I say with a smile but say the words that have been playing on my mind. "I have officially ceded Mandalore and myself from the New Republic, of course since it was destroyed it was never officially made part of it but by association it's survivors were, the same as Alderaan. Now that politically and diplomatically all Mandalorians are under my authority not the Republics it gives us some diplomatic immunity to do whatever we need to do to kill Gideon without breaking the Galactic Concordance." 

He nods along and asks "If you don't have access to the Republic's military we'll have to look to other Mandalorians for help."

Those words certainly do not comfort me and I tell him "Let's just make sure Grogu is safe and then we'll deal with Gideon." He nods again and I continue. "That also means as long as you don't break the Republic's laws I can protect you."

"So if I killed someone-"

"The Republic can still arrest you," I tell him, knowing that would be pushing it. "It means I can handle your ship being a million years old and illegal but not breaking into Republic prisons."

"That was one time," he says but pauses before adding. "I think."

"Mmm," I say and ask "Any other crimes I should know about just in case?"

"None the Republic know about," he answers but goes silent before adding "I used to be a different person. I did bad things, I ran with some bad people, I wish I could say I didn't do some of those things willingly but I did, I- " he hesitates "Alzoc III, that was when it all changed."

"Alzoc III," I repeat, having some idea of the things that happened on that planet during the war but don't let anything cross my face. "What side were you hired to fight on?"

"The wrong one," he answers and I give a stiff nod, having expected it. "I left a member of the crew behind, he got locked up and the crew hired me again some months ago to get him out. His sister was crazy and..." he trails off and shakes his head in a way I recognise far too well. "I was a different man and made some regrettable decisions-"

He doesn't need to elaborate for me to get it and so I ask "Which was the regrettable decision, fucking her or how you left her?"

"Both," he sighs while I could almost laugh, glad I'm not the only one with romantic regrets and from the pure revulsion I feel from him I know there is no need for any jealousy. "They betrayed me on the mission to rescue him so I left them there for the Republic to deal with."

"Look at that, you are the good guy," I say, able to sense his guilt and tease to lighten his own tension. "And it's good to know I'm not the only one with a messed up ex lover."

"Oh you aren't," he assures me but he's anxious as he tells me "And you aren't the only one with a past-"

"And we'll face both of ours together," I promise him and squeeze his hand. "Your past doesn't scare me Din."

"And neither does yours," he quickly says. "But you're a good person, you're a hero, I've never been a hero."

"I love you Din Djarin," I tell him, knowing he is a hero. "I knew when I met you what you are, but I also knew that very same moment that you're a good man, a good man who's done bad things but regardless of his past chooses to be good to save others. That ner cyare, is a hero."

I feel him draw a breath at those words and he takes my face in his hands "And I love you because you make me believe it." It's as I lean in to press a kiss to his helmet his voice breaks. "I love you so much."

I'm wearing a lovestruck smile as I touch my forehead to his "And to think, if you hadn't shown up on Tatooine..." he tugs me by the waist from my chair into his lap as we enter the atmosphere of Chandrila and I remind him "We can also get arrested for having sex in my cockpit in view of the horrified inhabitants of the city."

He chuckles "It would be worth it."

And that is certainly one unexpected benefit to this new relationship of ours, the incredible mind altering sex that's already left my body sore in the sweetest way and I hold him tight in my arms, that being the one thing better than the sex. Being able to hold him and be held by a man who truly loves me, one I trust completely.

The city comes into view and I climb off his lap to fly us to my apartment, thankfully fitted with its own helepad and when we enter we find Luke training Grogu, or rather trying and failing to get the child to focus during meditation. A lost cause.

The child's eyes immediately spring open and he waddles over to us.

"We're home," I smile at the Child. "We're home Grogu."

His eyes widen at the sound of his name and he makes a surprised exclamation and much to my own surprise he leaps from the floor into my arms and I catch him, exclaiming "Look who's learned to jump!" He makes a happy sound and I smile over at Din, for just a moment wonder what it could be like to hold another child in my arms. One I grew in my own stomach to be a sibling for Grogu.

But first it is past time we saw Ahsoka, one of the last survivors of the Jedi and then we'll have a war to fight I suspect, and I need to be in fighting shape when we have Moff Gideon to kill.

For a moment I remember back to all the lengths my parents took to hide me from the Empire, training me to fight while still letting me be a child, and I know I'll be reliving that history with Grogu.

"Cyare," I say, passing Grogu to Din while Luke watches with a close lipped smile. "Take him while I talk jedi business."

He nods and happily takes Grogu away, chiming his name in awe and Luke asks me "So, you learned his name?"

"We learned his name," I tell him and then the more scandalous news. "He is Yoda's kid."

"What!" he exclaims. "How?"

"Procreation permitted for survival of species," I say and watch the disturbed look that comes to his face. "I don't want that image either but he is Yoda's."

He feels the utter rage I still harbour and gathers "So you spoke with Yoda?" I give a stiff nod. "What did you say."

"Many things," I sigh. "Grogu was his child and despite all those years on Dagobah Yoda never once searched for him." Luke grimaces. "You can imagine that I let him have it."

"Oh I can imagine," he says and asks "So now you'll seek out Ahsoka?"

All we know of her comes from those who knew her, stories Bo-Katan told me as a teenager after she encountered her again during the early days of the rebellion by chance and the very little my father could bring himself to say when he discovered through Bo that she was still alive. Although through the survivors of Spectre Cell I did learn more, namely Hera and Sabine who I worked closely with during the war and in the aftermath. 

I nod again, lost for what steps to take next, with Mandalore, with the Empire, but this one is clear. "We won't be safe until Gideon's dead and gone and Grogu needs all the help he can get."

"Find her," he says and hesitates for a moment before asking me "When you do, tell her I would like to meet her. To know someone who knew my father before he was Vader."

I nod and promise him "I can do that."

"Thank you," he says thickly and I know despite all his preaching about the code this is one attachment he still struggles with, his father.

And yet nowhere near as much as Leia.

"It would do Leia good as well," I say and he's hesitant at the thought of approaching the subject of their father with her. "It's my understanding Ahsoka was the closest thing to a daughter either of our fathers had before we came along, I think all of us could benefit from speaking to her."

He nods and agrees "So do I."

We give each other a smile and hear Din in Grogu's room talking to him.

"We know your name now kid," I hear Din telling him. "Grogu huh? I like that."

Luke sees me listening with adoration filled eyes and tells me "You've picked a good one this time."

"Yes," I agree proudly. "I really have."

"Everyone loves him," he tells me and I realised they must have had a meeting after dinner to ensure me bringing a bounty hunter home isn't a stroke of madness. "He's different that's for sure."

"He is," I say and tell Luke "I love him more than I ever loved Boba, I trust him completely."

"But are you coping with the fact Boba Fett's still out there?" he asks me, wanting to make sure I won't go on another mad hunt for him. 

"I am," I tell him, surprised by that fact. "I have Din and Grogu, everything else feels so small in comparison. My past, all of it. All I care about now is keeping them safe."

"And what then?" It takes me a moment to realise what he's referring to. "Mandalore?"

"I got up on that stage in front of those holocameras and declared myself Duchess of Mandalore," I say heavily. "There may not be a Mandalore left but there are Mandalorians. I can't call myself Duchess, I can't call myself what my mother did, if I don't fight just as hard for them."

My fathers legacy is one I easily took up, is one I easily returned to, but my mothers... that is the one that is the hardest to face.

"I know you will," he promises me, having seen me through the purge. "You fought harder than anyone else ever could have, just because you lost Mandalore doesn't mean it can't be reclaimed."

I nod slowly in contemplation and tell him "Thank you."

It's then Din comes out with the kid and asks Luke "Did you teach him to jump like that?"

Luke's almost amused as he answers "I did."

Din looks at the kid as he leaps into my arms, a proud father. "Good job Grogu!"

The kid smiles and Luke and I both share a look, easily forgetting how something so normal to us fills people like Din with such awe. 

"You ready to head to Corvus?" I ask him ready to keep moving, ready to finally meet Ahsoka Tano.

~

After a quick detour to Tatooine to pick up the Razor Crest before the Jawa's decide to take it apart we are on our way to Corvus. 

I sit back and observe as Din dotes on Grogu, a true father, and for once I'm the one to make us food while he's distracted. Almost glad for some domestic life to drown out all the blazing uncertainty of what comes after this. 

"Come on," I say lifting Grogu up after he's eaten and Din comes down below deck with me to put the kid to bed despite wanting to stay up. "No, you need to sleep."

Grogu protests I put him in his spot in the sleeping compartment while Din stands back with his arms crossed over his chest "Huh?"

"What is it?" I ask as he tilts his head inside the compartment.

"I'll have to make some adjustments," he says and looks around the ship. "I can convert one of the storage holds into a space for the kid and widen the sleeping compartment to set up a bigger cot for the both of us."

His thoughtfulness warms me deeply enough I almost become emotional. "I'd like that."

"Do you know who does Solo's renovations on the Falcon?" he asks me and I raise my eyebrows in surprise as he tells me "He said he renovated part of it into a kitchenette for his wife, not that she was too happy with that."

I laugh at that, remembering Han's poorly thought out marriage present for Leia, a kitchenette on board the Falcon. Well intended, but not quite fully thought out considering how Leia took it. "No she was not, but it's sweet the two of you are fast friends."

"I wouldn't say that-" 

"Din, sweetheart," I chuckle. "I am happy you get along so well with my family and you and Han do have lots in common."

He's confused. "How so?"

"Well, you're two people who had less than legitimate careers, flying around in antique ships until you happened across two force sensitive princesses and now have force sensitive kids," I tell him, knowing Leia and I have indeed found it quite amusing. "And I'd say it would be Peli on Tatooine although she may have questions since the last time she saw us we were pulling guns on each other and now we're asking her to widen the sleeping compartment."

"Well," he says holding me by the waist. "I want to make this feel like home for you."

I smile up at him and wrap my arms around him as I promise him "You feel like home."

He tugs me in closer, helmet tilting down as he says "Maybe we should have left the kid in the cockpit considering the cots the only place dark enough I can kiss you."

I raise an eyebrow. "There's other ways."

He takes my hand and pulls me back up into the cockpit where it's harder for the kid to escape his bed and walk in on us, we don't want to traumatise the kid more than he already is. When we reach the cockpit he sits down against the wall of it and pulls me into his lap, my fingertips running over the beskar of his chestplate as he brushes the hair back from my face. We've had each other enough times by now there should be no nervousness, but this isn't sex. This is something far more intimate than sex could ever be when he lays himself out so vulnerably, the ultimate expression of his trust in me. 

I hear the breath he releases as I kiss the inside of his wrist, lips lingering over his pounding pulse and he breathes "Close your eyes." But it's not his helmet he moves for, it's the fabric belt holding my tunic together and I smile as I realise what he's doing. Gently I feel the fabric come to cover my eyes and he asks "Is this alright?"

"Yes," I smile for him, so he can see it, feel it, and he ties the belt at the back of my head leaving me in darkness, leaving me free of one sense to feel others so much more intensely. "Now can I kiss you?"

I hear the thud of his helmet on the ground and the next moment his lips are on mine. Gentle, unsure, still getting used to the sensation. I take his face in my hands and hear the sharp breath he draws at the touch, feel the stumble beneath my fingers and kiss him slowly, wanting to love him how he's never been loved.  

"Are you alright?" I ask him gently and I feel his breath as he huffs a short but uneasy laugh.

"Very."

Sex is easy, sex is about pleasure, but this- this is trust in its purest form, bending his code as far as he'll allow himself all so he can give himself to me in the most intimate way he can.

"Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum," I tell him, I love you, I will know you forever. "Ner karta"

He kisses me before repeating the words back to me "Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum."

And even now I can feel his lips I bring his forehead to mine, finding a peace in him I've never known before.

~

By the time Corvus comes into view I've been in his arms for hours, soaking in the pure bliss of him, but the moment we land it is pure business as we quickly realise something is not right on this planet.

We walk through the dead forest, saturated with darkness, until we reach the walls of a city.

I keep my head down with a veil wrapped around it, knowing my face would be recognised by whatever clearly ex-imperial operation they have here. From the pain I feel inside those city walls it is no wonder Ahsoka is here. 

A guard atop the wall greets us "State your business."

"We've been tracking for a few days," Din says, finding it safer to let him talk and to keep silent, inconspicious. "Looking for a layover."

"Nice armour," the man says. "You a hunter then?"

Din nods. "That's right."

"Guild?"

"Last I checked."

The corner of my lip turns up.

"And her?"

"My wife," Din says with a hand on my back and I keep my head down, smiling to myself beneath the veil at just how much I like how those words sound.

It must be good enough for them. "Open the gate."

We walk in trying not to attract attention, but that's hard with Din, the big silver Mandalorian in a place as grim as this. There's armed men with rifles on the rooftops, which says enough about the sort of place we've stepped into.

"Be careful," I warn Din, able to feel a true darkness here, and take the bag with the child in from him to hold him close incase he finds himself needing quick access to his blaster. 

He gives a silent nod and I walk beside him as he discreetly tries to question the townspeople with little avail until a man finally tells us. "Please, do not speak to them, or to any of us."

I raise a hand to quiet Din but it's too late as two armed guards stand behind us.

"The Magistrate wants to see you."

Din looks to me and I give a nod to keep walking, and as we're taken to the magistrate we pass people strapped to shock poles. Something tells me Din and I won't be leaving this settlement without a fight.

We're taken inside to the magistrate, a peaceful looking woman draped in robes with grey streaking her hair, but the energy I feel from her is anything but peaceful. My head tilts slightly as I find familiarity in her face, unable to put a name to it but knowing very well she is Imperial.

It's a strange thing, looking at a person you know will die very soon, likely by your own hand, but it is a feeling I have become quite accustomed to.

She instructs us to come forward and so we do.

"You're a Mandalorian?"

"Yes."

"And who are you?" she asks me and I feel a sharp protectiveness from Din.

I keep my head down, playing the obediently quiet woman. "His wife."

"That was not what I asked," she says and asks me one more time. "Who are you?"

"Tala, a native of Tatooine," I tell her, not elaborating and she doesn't ask further but still keeps an eye on me and I on her, indeed finding her face familiar. Although I am unable to place it, everything about her and this town indeed confirms to me this is an Imperial operation run by another officer scraping the bottom of the barrel for some control over another unfortunate population.

"I have a proposition that may interest you, Mandalorian."

"My price is high," Din replies, wanting to get straight to finding Ahsoka as much as I do, wondering if coming to this town was a mistake.

"This target is priceless," she says, piquing our interest. "A Jedi plagues me." 

Perhaps not a mistake after all. 

"That's a difficult task," Din says.

"But one my husband will do for the right price," I intervene, wanting to know where Ahsoka is.

"The Jedi are the ancient enemy of Mandalore," she says and I can feel Din's eyes on me. "But you would know this."

An Imperial who knows more of the Jedi than most.

"Like I said, my price is high."

And so she brings forward a spear, one I immediately realise is pure Beskar. 

"What do you make of this?"

Din steps forward to examine it, coming to the same conclusion as I do.

"Kill the Jedi, and it is yours," she promises, reeking of the Empire and I know I'll enjoy killing her. 

"Where do I find this Jedi?" Din asks upon returning it to her.

~

We walk back through the town, silent as we are escorted out while I'm formulating plans for liberating the town and killing the Imperials. But first we must find Ahsoka. 

But just as we pass through the walls the man escorting us says to Din "You should leave your woman here. We'll take good care of her."

Again I feel that sharp protectiveness but something far more primal than before as he roughly reaches for my waist so he doesn't reach for a blaster and it takes him a moment to calm himself enough before saying "She comes with me."

But the men exchange a glance before trying their luck "Are you-"

I immediately take Din's hand before he can reach a weapon and he leaves no room for argument as he repeats "She comes with me." The men certainly do not try to argue, it's not until we are out of ear shot he finally speaks "When can I kill them?"

"Soon," I promise him. "You get to kill them and I get to kill the magistrate."

He nods and asks me "Imperials?"

"Yes," I answer. "We aren't leaving until the town is liberated."

"Wasn't planning on it," he assures me as we venture deeper into the wasteland of a forest and I remove my veil and put it into the bag holding Grogu before passing him back to Din as I feel a presence. "What is it?"

And it's only a moment later when a blur jumps down upon us and my saber meets hers. The sight of another Jedi is enough to throw her off her attack and I look into the shocked eyes of Ahsoka Tano.

"Ahsoka, my name is Kyra," I tell her, but she still does not trust me. "Kyra Kenobi."

She lowers her sabers, eyeing me in disbelief. "Kenobi?" There's a sadness in her eye as she says "You're Obi-Wan's daughter." She withdraws her sabers and takes me in with a sadness before remarking "You take after him." She looks past me to Grogu and sighs in realisation. "Bo-Katan told you where I was, didn't she?"

Bo-Katan was the one who found Ahsoka during the rebellion, who told my father of her survival before Bail ever dared tell him that Ahsoka worked for the rebellion. I know my father looked for her but he was never able to find her before he was killed. There was always a sadness in his eye at the mention of her, he told me she was the padawan of Anakin Skywalker and the rest I pieced together after the war.

"My father looked for you before the war," I tell her and she blinks at me in surprise, and almost pain. "I don't know how Bo-Katan found you but I know who you are and I need your help. This child needs your help."

"You know who I was," she corrects and steps past me towards Din, looking at Grogu in his arms and back to me. "I heard about all you did during the war from mutual friends of ours, how you fought for Mandalore as a Mandalorian, I'd assumed you'd given up the Jedi way."

"My father did, and so did I for a long time," I confess to her. "But this child has come into my care and he needs me because the Empire- or what's left of them- they won't give up looking for him." She's hesitant and I continue "I know you fought the Inquisitors and Empire before the war broke out, and I know you and my father meant something to each other before the Empire took over so I am asking you to please help me. If not for him, or even for Bo-Katan, then because it is your duty to help this child."

"Your father was a second master to me," she tells me and quietly says "At the end we fought because of a decision the council had made, but he was better than the rest of them, and I am sorry for how he died. Bo-Katan, she told me he was killed by Vader."

"I saw it," I tell her, the wound after all these years still wide open. "I loved him more than anything and he died saving us, Anakin's children and I. He spent my entire life trying to right his wrongs, to take care of Anakin's children and myself." Her eyes sadden before they widen. "His children are good Ahsoka, they are everything he could have been."

"Children?" she asks and I still. "There is more than one?"

"Luke and Leia," I tell her and watch something in her eyes change at Leia's name. "Princess Leia Organa."

"Bail's daughter," she sighs in realisation. "I should have known." But it's then a horror dawns on her "Alderaan-"

"Vader tortured her and then made her watch," I say and she shuts her eyes in pain. "Her own father tortured her and destroyed everything she ever knew and loved. Luke may have forgiven him, but not Leia."

"Anakin," I hear her whisper, shaking her head and she laments. "I should have come searching for them, but I- I knew it would only put them in danger. It wasn't until I heard that Luke Skywalker blew up the death star I realised the truth. I was at their mothers funeral ... she still looked pregnant but it seems that was on purpose." Sadly she looks at me and says "Your mother was there as well, I felt she was pregnant but I could never have imagined Obi-Wan was the father. He always obeyed the code, but it seems even he wasn't perfect."

"He didn't know until after I was born my mother was pregnant," I say quietly. "He'd gone into hiding after Order 66. He took Luke to Anakin's step family on Tatooine and Leia... well Bail Organa adopted her. I'd known her and loved her as a sister since we were ten years old, we became family after our parents died, and yet I never knew the truth until the end of the war." 

"Well," she says, finding a light in this. "I know your fathers and nothing would have made them happier to know that you're family."

"Leia has a son, named Ben after my father." I see something in her eyes, a remorse, guilt almost, that she was not there for it and look at Grogu in Din's arms. "Ahsoka we really need your help, and so do Luke and Leia. The Empire will stop at nothing to get their hands on my padawan, my foundling, and I just know they'll come for Ben as well."

She nods slowly and tells me "I'll see what I can do."

~

Din and I sit watching her as she gets into Grogu's head, convening with him in a way I haven't been able to. I'm watching with an understanding of what is happening, but Din is just confused.

He leans over to me and whispers "What is she doing?"

I hush him. "Be patient."

Finally she brings him back over to us, both of us noticing how Grogu seems to be speaking with her and realise how much may still be lacking in my own training. 

"Do you understand him?" I ask her, able to connect with him on some level but it's been so long since I've been as deeply connected with the force as she is.

"In a way," she replies. "Grogu and I can feel each other's thoughts."

"We went to the temple on Coruscant, searching through the database for him and found he was Yoda's," I say and she seems scandalised, a little disturbed as well, but then surprised. 

"You met Yoda, I thought he died during Order 66?"

"Luke and I went searching for him on my fathers advice," I tell her and smile at the memory. "As soon as he heard the names Kenobi and Skywalker he started swatting us off like insects with a stick." 

The thought of that makes her laugh. "He would. Your father, Anakin and I, we were quite the disaster lineage. Anakin was my master but in a way he was more like a big brother, your father was the responsible one but even he wasn't immune to causing a little chaos."

"That does sound like him," I smile fondly. "He raised me first as his daughter, and second as a Jedi, mostly for my own protection. So when I learned Yoda just abandoned Grogu well- as it would seem Yoda's force ghost is still quite alive and it wasn't pretty for him."

"I don't doubt that," she tells me, understanding me in a way that's uncomfortable. "You have your mother's passion for justice, and your aunt's anger, but your father's strife of being left with a padawan who is unique and hunted in so many ways. He was left to raise a child with exceptional strength in the force, and it seems that legacy carries onto you now. Can he still wield the force?"

"Yes," I answer, looking at him. "When we try to get him to do it on command he's just like a child who wants to play, but the moment he or us are in danger his command of the force is unlike anything I've ever seen. It seems to come out most when he is afraid."

She nods. "That would make sense. He has had to survive for a long time, and hiding his abilities would have been a great part of that as you would know."

Din finally speaks. "I was tasked to bring him to a Jedi, and I found Kyra. Since then we've been running from Moff Gideon, trying to find someone who knows more about how to help him than we do. He needs your help."

Ahsoka's face is heavy as she contemplates this, before finally deciding. "Let him sleep, I'll test him in the morning."

~

Come morning I stand with Ahsoka, Din sits nearby listening, not having gotten much sleep. Stressing about Grogu being assessed despite reassuring him he'll be fine.

"So, you trained Anakin's children?" Ahsoka inquires.

"I trained Luke after my father was killed, I was just nineteen. Half the time I had no idea what I was doing, let alone if I was doing it right but somehow I didn't mess up as badly as I thought I would," I tell her and somehow I know as she looks upon me she sees my father and I wonder if he once said similar words about Anakain. "After the war I trained Leia, she was a better student than Luke much to his surprise. I suppose that while Luke was gentle she had a real fire in her, she had from the day I met her but she elected to go into politics."

"Just like her mother," she remembers, we have learned who Padmé Amidala was but know little of her. "They'd be so proud of them both." I smile to myself as she takes Grogu. "Let's see what knowledge is lurking inside that little mind."

Din's been letting me handle everything without having much to say, but I can feel that he's nervous as he comes to stand by my side.

"It's fine cyare," I promise him, squeezing his hand as Ahsoka walks away with Grogu and sets him down. "There's no need to worry."

We watch as Ahsoka floats a rock to Grogu and he happily catches it. "Now return the stone to me Grogu."

"He doesn't understand," Din says, still fretting.

"He does," Ahsoka and I both say and I tell Grogu. "It's okay, you can give her the stone, it's safe. Just like what you were doing with Uncle Luke."

He still whines a little and drops the stone, Din sighs like a dad watching his child being assessed at school and I give him a look to stop freaking out since it's only putting pressure on the kid.

Ahsoka tells Din "He's hidden his abilities to survive over the years as Kyra has, it will take some time for him to feel safe using them." She looks back at Grogu. "Let's try something else, come over here."

Din nods for Grogu to go but he doesn't move. "He's stubborn."

"Not him," Ahsoka says to Din. "You. I want to see if he'll listen to you."

I nod to Din to do what she says and he agrees but not without comment. "That would be a first."

"I like firsts," Ahsoka remarks. "Good or bad they're always memorable."

I watch in amusement as Din tries to get Grogu to take the stone and gets frustrated when he doesn't, throwing the stone aside. "See, I told you he was stubborn."

"Give him the ball," I tell Din, looking at his pocket. "You know how much he loves that ball."

Din sighs and pulls it out, holding it between his fingers. "Alright kid, one more time, take the ball. Come on, you can have it."

I'm smiling as Grogu uses the force to take the ball and Din erupts in celebration. "Good job! Good job kid!" Din walks over to Grogu, bending down in front of him. "That's right, I knew you could do it. Very good."

"He's formed a strong attachment to you," Ahsoka notes, although the emotions with that are hard to read. "To both of you. He sees you as his parents."

"We are," I say proudly. "I was raised by a Jedi and a Mandalorian. I don't see any reason why he can't be as well."

"Remember Kyra, you are the exception, not the rule," she warns and my body stiffens, having not been reprimanded for such a thing since Yoda. "I know better than anyone what attachment can do to a Jedi."

My voice is harsh. "Not anyone. I would know having been the victim of it too many times," I tell her and she feels it, the sharp pain those memories of loss and torture bring but I stand my ground. "But that is only when you let that attachment turn to fear, possession, anger. My parents loved me dearly, and I loved them. Yes losing them drove me half mad but not to the darkness, my father raised me better than that."

"He raised Anakin better than that as well," Ahsoka reminds me and I become defensive. "But look what love did to him. You have fought many battles but you are still young, do not think yourself and the child immune to it."

"Yes, love can be a cruel thing," I say knowing it well. "The closest I ever danced with the dark side was because of love and I left him for dead." I can't look at Din but Ahsoka can feel it, the anger of my mothers side buried within me. "But that was many years ago, I know where I stand with the force, the darkness does not tempt me and we will raise Grogu how my father and mother raised me."

"Then I wish you well," she decides, knowing this is a battle she cannot win. "But I cannot help you if this is the path you wish to take."

"What?" Din exclaims. "Why not?"

Ahsoka looks at me. "She knows why."

And so I speak up and remind him. "It is common Jedi belief that attachment is forbidden, any sort of love, familial, platonic or otherwise." There's a bite in my voice as I remember what Bo-Katan told me, the reason I came to Ahsoka. "But considering you turned your back on the Jedi Order I thought you would know better than that."

"And this is what I mean," she says approaching me. "There is anger in you, and fear in Grogu. And that fear can lead to-"

"Lead to what?" I ask her, that anger certainly surfacing. "He's a child, what can he do? There are no Sith for him to join, there's no Palpatine, just bad men who want to harvest his midichlorians for some sick experiment!" Din starts to step between us but I swat him away. "I came here because I thought you would know that the code isn't always right."

She crosses her arms over her chest "I do know that."

"I thought you would help us while leaving me to raise him and train him because I've trained both children of Anakin Skywalker, the two people who had every reason to turn to the darkside, and they turned out great!" My next words are crueller than I intend. "You didn't, you never even came looking for any of us once so don't lecture me on the darkside when I am trying to protect Grogu and Leia's son from it and you are just sitting here hiding like all the rest!"

She just nods, not wanting to fight with me and turns her back on us, walking away. "This was a mistake, you should leave and I should get back to the village."

I'm willing to let her but it's Din who calls out "The magistrate sent me to kill you." She stills and looks back at us. "I didn't agree to anything, and I'll help you with your problem if you just help us protect Grogu."

I avert my gaze, leaving this mess to Din and she agrees while I take Grogu and walk away, hearing Din giving her the briefing on the situation but I keep going until I can no longer hear them and hold Grogu in my arms.

"I won't fail you," I promise him. "Not like all the others did. My father, he taught me better than that." 

I look at him, unable to believe this child could ever become what Vader did and kiss his little head as I hold him close, standing there like that until Din finds me.

"Are you ready to kill the magistrate?"

I give a single nod and ask "What's the plan?"

~

And so I play the bait, running in supposed fear to the city, putting on my best act.

"The Jedi! The Jedi's here!"

They let me in, sobbing with fake tears.

"Where is the Jedi!"

"Out there!" I gasp out and beg "Please let me see the magistrate, my husband- he's dead!"

They guide me through the town, bringing me straight to the magistrate while Ahsoka and Din wait to attack inside the city walls.

"Magistrate, the Mandalorian's wife."

They bring me in and leave me with her, just a few guards with us and I know this will be easy.

"Did she kill your husband?" she asks, feigning empathy.

"She told me something," I begin, my veil covering my face. "That you worked with the Empire to destroy and pillage worlds."

She stiffens. "Did she now?"

"My own world, was destroyed and pillaged by the Empire for its beskar." I pull back my veil and show my face to her. "Funny that you have the spoils of Mandalore's destruction right there in your hand, and a Jedi standing right in front of you."

She holds the spear tight, knowing who I am. "Kyra Kryze."

I ignite my saber and ask her "Tell me, do you still work with Moff Gideon?" She doesn't answer and I just laugh. "Oh it is funny, because while he's been trying to hunt us down here we are, and it only seems fair I leave him a little message."

Now she seems amused. "You're going to kill me?" It's then we hear the shooting start in the city and her eyes widen in realisation. "The Jedi and the Mandalorian-"

"The Jedi are the ancient enemy of Mandalore but it seems I'm both," I tell her, knowing she isn't walking out of here alive as the guards raise their blasters. "Fire away."

The blasters ring out only for me to deflect them right back at the guards, each of them falling to the ground. And that's when the duel begins.

And perhaps it is wrong the anger I channel with each swing, the grief with each manoeuvre, everything a Jedi should never do. But in its strength is my discipline with those emotions, wielding them as I wield the force, never letting it lose control, but using it with discipline and finally with releasing them when the Magistrate falls and I leave her breathing for Ahsoka to get whatever information she may need but she will never rise again. 

And so as I emerge and lay eyes on Din and Ahsoka I raise the beskar spear.

Victorious.

~

As dawn rises we stand outside the city walls, listening to the celebration within. Din having reluctantly accepted the Beskar Spear as it will be of more use to him than me.

"I suppose you'll be leaving now," Ahsoka says and can feel the weight on her shoulders.

"We will be," I say, not prepared to leave yet. "We won't be safe however until Moff Gideon is dead."

"Perhaps there is something I can do to help you," she says and tells us. "Take Grogu to the planet Tython, there you will find the ancient ruins of a temple that has a strong connection to the force. Place Grogu on the seeing stop on the top of the mountain and from there you can gain a deeper understanding of him, and how to best raise him with the path he wishes to take."

I nod in respect. "Thank you Ahsoka." I'm about to leave but turn back to her. "Luke and Leia would like to meet you, to learn from someone who knew who their father was before Vader."

She's conflicted, but nods. "I will see what I can do." She steps forward and slowly raises a hand to my face and tells me "You look so much like him." She gives me a sad smile. "You have so much of his heart as well." Out of the corner I see Din taking Grogu to the ship and Ahsoka leans in to tell me. "Your father, he would like him."

I smile to myself. "He would."

Something in her softens as she says "And he would be proud of you, proud of the path you are taking."

I nod, suddenly emotional. "Thank you, Ahsoka."

I look forward towards the Razor Crest, to where Din stands waiting and holding Grogu in his arm, and know he would be.

But before I can leave she stops me "Wait." I look back and feel the pain before I see it as she asks "How did Vader really die?"

I stood there on the platform, the Emperor dead by Vaders hands. Luke knelt before his father, but all I could see when I looked at the man before me was Vader, not Anakin Skywalker.

"Luke, help me take this mask off."

Luke saw none of Vader, only his father.

"But you'll die."

"Nothing can stop that now."

It was then Vader looked at me, the daughter of his brother who he'd broken time and time again, who had taken her parents and home from her, who stood there to see his demise.

"When I see your father," he began, dying. "I'll beg his forgiveness for the things I have done."

It was not my fathers he would have to beg for.

"You'll be begging for mine and your daughters forgiveness until there is nothing but star dust left in galaxy."

And so I left Luke to mourn his father alone, for I had no forgiveness to give. 

"He killed the Emperor," I tell her and watch her eyes widen. "But not without all but killing himself trying. Luke and I, we were there." I could tell her all the awful things he had done, to me, to Luke, to Leia, but instead I tell her as my father would have wanted. "He turned to the light before he died."

And yet those words only put her in further pain for she knows all he did and despite it all I don't know if she can truly forgive him either but when she meets Luke and Leia, she'll know he left some good in the galaxy.

But she is still a Jedi and looks upon me as she says "I am sorry for everything he took from you." She then treads carefully "I know the things Bo-Katan said to you after the purge, but she is the only family you have. Believe that when you have need of her, she will come."

I give a stiff nod and tell her "Just please, go to Luke and Leia. You will find him on Ossus. Luke has forgiven his father, but I dare say Anakin will have to beg for Leia's forgiveness until she joins him on the other side but... perhaps you could help her find peace."

She gives me a nod and says "I will try." She debates her next words. "The Magistrate, she worked with Grand Admiral Thrawn, it's why I came here."

I blink at her. "Thrawn disappeared years ago with..."

"Ezra Bridger," she finishes. "You were the same age as him yes?" 

I give a stiff nod. "I had only met him along with Kana a handful of times during my work in the early years of the Rebellion but Sabine was my second in charge during the war so I've heard many stories."

"Then we may just call on you," she tells me and extends her hand to me. "May the force be with you Kyra Kenobi."

"And with you," I say and leave her to return to Din and Grogu, knowing now where our next destination is and yet... I feel a pit in my stomach at the thought of what may come.

[nevertheless-moving]

Lost Luke Part Three

Star Wars Time Travel AU #19  (Wholesome Luke Time Travel AU) Part One . . . Part Two

One of the best things to imagine in this au is how the Skywalkers interact with Obi-Wan Kenobi because this is just before/interrupts the incidents that profoundly broke their faith in him but after he earned their unshakeable devotion (that is, to say, after he met them).

Anakin: “So you lived with your Aunt and Uncle but Obi-Wan was the one who actually raised you, right?” Luke, who has barely ever had a conversation with Old Ben: “No, I mean he seemed cool obviously but no. I mean he was around sometimes I guess...” Anakin, nodding knowingly: “Yeah, he totally raised you. He’s stealthy about that sort of thing.” Luke: ...?

Later on, as Luke is learning about the force and stuff, he starts to get a little bit more of a sense of how Ben had in fact been a feature in his life 

(he’s been hired on as civilian mechanic with the 501st. Obviously this should be banned because a) that’s not a thing and b) attachment, but consider: He’s genuinely talented at everything, the Council reluctantly kind-of liked this one, Anakin pulled the slave card right when the council was at peak-slave guilt, Obi-Wan was quietly sure if they said no Anakin would quit, and also when Palpatine first heard about twin brother he went, ‘oh, worm?’ (The whole Luke vs Palpatine is a separate thing))

Pretty much everything he figures out about Ben on Tatooine is just- really sad. Like, he knew the Jedi were gone and Ben was upset about it but the Jedi are clearly Obi-Wan’s entirely family and culture oh my gods he really didn’t have anything did he.

And Luke doesn’t quite share Anakin’s conviction that Obi-Wan was on Tatooine just for him- it is in Hutt space, not a bad spot for avoiding imps. Luke was maybe a coincidence, or a bonus. Why else would he wait so long to actually introduce himself? It’s uncomfortable either way to think about this incredible Jedi Master and General fallen so low, an outcast and a drunk. But living on Tatooine for the sole purpose of being the same vague proximity as his dead friend’s son would be...yikes, pretty tragic.

The more he meditates and learns, the more he feels that something about Obi-Wan’s force-signature is familiar, but he can’t quite make it match up with his hazier pre-training memories. 

It’s not until Obi-Wan is truly miserable- maybe a trooper Obi-Wan tried desperately to save dies in his arms- that Luke goes oh. Because the ozone-heavy-petrichor-aura of Obi-Wan’s grief is a lot more familiar. 

The impression of Obi-Wan’s quiet sadness clung to the incredible hand carved ships Luke found on Shmi’s grave as a child, and ok that explains where those came from. 

A few nights when he was young he tasted the scent on the wind, always when there rumors about Sand People Raids, and that also explained how their homestead sometimes seemed mysteriously protected, even if Owen’s irritation and anger about the fact still didn’t make sense.

One time while racing alone in begger’s canyon he had panicked at the rumble of a Krayt dragon beneath his speeder, only to nearly crash in relief when a mating call from over the ridge redirected it. He had even tried to describe the petrichor smell to his friends but everyone in town acted like he made the whole thing up, because Old Ben had even been seen leaving town around the same time and he didn’t look eaten either.

The time he most vividly remembers the force-impression was just a couple years ago, when he and Biggs were in trouble with some of Jabba goons over a complete misunderstanding- long story. Luke admitted that he might have been a little drunk- again, a total misunderstanding. He and Biggs were hiding under a filthy cantina table when they heard shouting just outside, one of the voices recognizable as a particularly sadistic enforcer. Someone entered the bar and approached the bartender to ask a question; the two tensed up in fear. Footsteps drew closer to their not-very-good hiding spot and a man sat down, inadvertently kicking Luke in the face.

Old Ben peered beneath the table, looking extremely surprised, “Luke? What in the core are you doing under there?”

Biggs shushed the drunk Hermit, desperately whispering, “Please Mr. Kenobi, Jabba’s goons are after this, you can’t let them know we’re under here.”

“Jabba’s goons?” Ben asked, sounding bewildered, “You mean those ruffians who were standing outside?”

Luke and Biggs nodded frantically. 

“Oh, they left, you don’t have to worry about them.” Ben took a sip of his drink, leaning back with a smile. 

The two boys exchanged a look, “Are you- are you sure? They seemed pretty mad.” Luke asked tentatively.

“Oh, yes. Apparently there was a break-in at one of Jabba’s warehouses and he’s extremely displeased at all of his servants for their failure to prevent it. I imagine whatever small quarrel they had with you will be totally forgotten in the fallout.”

The pair dragged themselves up to the bench across from Kenobi, slouching over in relief. 

“Oh my gods- thank the Krayt! Let’s get out of here, Luke. See, I told you things would blow over.” 

Luke punched Biggs in the shoulder, “Yeah, right. We got lucky, bantha brains.” Luke cleared his throat and addressed Old Ben directly, “Thank you- I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t shown up.” 

At the time he had ignored the hair raising on the back of his neck, the surge of foreign mixed emotions, and the strangely familiar smell-that-wasn’t-a-smell he could never quite identify. 

At 17, he was somewhat used to what his Uncle called his ‘damn bleeding heart’ and what Bigs called ‘being weird about other people.' He figured it was kind-of like how deep spacers got twitchy about crowds after spending months with just himself- he spent so much time on the farm that sometimes just being around other people was overwhelming. Plus he was a little drunk at the moment.

Ben cleared his throat, “Oh no, no need to thank me, I’m sure I had nothing to do with it.” 

Biggs rolled his eyes. “...Right. Well, anyway, thanks for letting us know. Come on Luke, let’s beat it!” And they scurried out, not looking back. 

-

Luke hesitantly tells Anakin about the almost-familiar force presence that clung to these memories and Anakin gets frustrated and sad and happy and confused because force why did Obi-Wan have to be so weird about feelings? He appreciates that he was obviously silently protecting his son for 19 years but he seriously couldn’t have talked to him? Luke quietly grieves a man he never really had the chance to know and who he’ll never fully understand while firmly attaching himself to the current Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan: Fucks sake, now they’re both clingy, what did I do to deserve this?

[star-wars-fashion]

this might be rambly and incoherent but I have A LOT of conflicting thoughts and feelings about episode six of Book of Boba Fett. spoilers ahead.

first and foremost: this show is supposed to be about Boba Fett. it’s literally named for him y’all. why was he only in one (1) single scene and not even in the previous episode at all??? I know the creators/producers said BoBF would be like the Mandalorian season 2.5 or something so I’m not surprised that Din showed up but I still think a lot of this should be in season 3 of the Mandalorian or even waited until the Ahsoka series. I’m actually extremely surprised that Luke is back. I’ve heard rumors that Harrison Ford will show up but we’ll just have to wait and see with that one. I just feel like they are relying too much on cameos and not focusing on Boba.

that being said, I have to admit that I LOVED seeing Din, Ahsoka, Grogu, and Luke again.

it warmed my heart so much to see Luke be a teacher but it really does have a bitterness to it knowing what will happen to the Jedi school and the sequels. is Grogu going to be killed by Kylo Ren?? are we going to see toddler Ben Solo?? he’s been born at this point right? whatever, I digress. having the training sequence that mirrored Empire Strikes Back made me smile so much though. I really wish I had recorded my reaction.

and Luke and Ahsoka interacting!!!! I have been wondering about them meeting for years. for YEARS you guys. the thought of Ahsoka meeting Luke and Leia and telling them about Anakin before he was Vader has always fascinated me. I’ve wanted them to meet each other for so long. it means so much to me to know that Ahsoka knows Luke in canon! and they talk! they talk about Anakin! jury is still out on if Ahsoka has met Leia. I just truly can’t put into words how much joy this makes me feel y’all have no idea. BUT. I do wish this happened in the Ahsoka series or something because them meeting each other has fuck all to do with Boba Fett.

then the ending really pissed me off. it felt really ooc for Luke to make Grogu choose between being a Jedi or going back to Din. to me that just doesn’t feel like something Luke would do. his attachments to Leia and Han is what made him leave his training with Yoda in ESB. Luke always felt like a Jedi who was okay with attachments to me. except for Disney!Luke and maybe that’s the root of it. Luke in the sequels didn’t feel like Luke to me. I don’t know why Disney wants him to be a traditional - no attachments - Jedi when he doesn’t seem that way in the original trilogy. maybe I’m misinterpreting his character? idk

I had some other thoughts about Cobb Vanth and Cad Bane but not as strong as my feelings about the other stuff I mentioned above so I’ll just leave those thoughts out. anyway.

I wish this series didn’t put the main character on the back burner for two episodes in a row.

I’m just so conflicted.

[creativeashproductions]

Lost Time // Luke Patterson

Summary: Things changed since Sunset Curve fell apart literally as three out of four members died before a gig. Leaving a sad girl behind Luke by chance runs into the reader with someone else. Death tore the couple apart, and time can’t fix this.

Warning: Talk of death, depression, angst and fluff

Words: 2.2k

Might as well join the Julie and the Phantoms fan club!

*For the sake of the story the time frame has been altered, it takes place in the mid-2000s. Also! I tried to make the reader as generalized as I could to make sure that everyone can relate. The reader is Alex’s sister, for inclusion that can be biological, adopted, half or stepsiblings. I want to make sure all people can be the reader.

Masterlist

THIS IS FROM MY SECONDARY BLOG! REPOST!!

The 1990s was definitely some of the best years of your life watching your brother grow more comfortable in his identity. Alex had kept his sexuality secret, taking the frustration of the secret by learning how to play the drums. You would often be found curled on the chair listening to his growing talent; Alex was a great brother.

Alex found friends in three local boys Reggie, Bobby and Luke, even a little more than friends with Luke briefly. By 1991 the boys had formed a band Sunset Curve with each other and a loyal fan in you. By mid-1994 the band had a fanbase and some gigs, but playing The Orpheum was the goal.

Luke had admitted to Alex, he had feelings for you, and with a lot of encouragement from Alex, he approached you. Luke had been focused on music since his parents gave him his first guitar, so relationships weren’t even on the backburner.

“Hey.” Luke spoke, pressing a kiss to your cheek backstage, “Missed you.”

His hair tickled your skin, bringing a bright smile from the teenage boy and a deep blush from you, private time wasn’t as often as it once had been. After Luke’s fallout with his parents a few months back, he had couch surfed between Reggie and Alex’s rooms; he wasn’t allowed in yours.

“You saw me last night.”

“A monumental time.” Luke bent his bend to place a lingering kiss on your bare shoulder, his jacket having fallen down, “Three years together and a bright future ahead.”

Last night had been the third anniversary of your relationship and hopefully the previous night worrying on parents walking in, cheap dates Luke often felt guilty about. Luke knew in his bones playing The Orpheum tonight would open the door to a legendary future. A future where money wasn’t tight and he could you on dates he deemed acceptable for the love of his life.

Bobby voiced brought Sunset Curve’s lead singer back to that moment, you dropped from the stage to settle in the empty audience to watch the soundcheck. With a wink from Alex, he started making the beat to Now or Never, you beamed as they poured their souls into the song. The four were talented and made to be in a band together even if you didn’t really like Bobby.

Cringing at the awkward wink Bobby sent you turned on your converse to head to the bar for a glass of water. Thanking the bartender, you tuned out the conversation with the waitress and the band only jumping when arms wrapped around your waist.

“We’re getting street dogs.” Luke spoke, bringing your body to rest on his chest, “Do you want one?”

The thought of those street dogs honestly horrifying given they were cooked in some random guys car. The one time you tried, it had permanently tattooed the taste in your memories forever, and just remembering was vomit-inducing.

 “I’ll pass.” You wrinkled your nose, turning to wrap your arms around his neck, “I don’t know how you guys like those.”

“Tradition.” Luke shrugged caressing your cheekbone with the pad of this thumb. Gazing at features he wanted to wake up to for the rest of his life, “Still down with the plan?”

“The minute I’m eighteen, we go to the nearest chapel.” You grinned playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, “I’ll be waiting Rockstar.”

Luke pressed a long passionate kiss on your lips, pulling away to jog over to Alex and Reggie waiting at the door. Bobby having declined the street dog invitation to flirt with the waitress Rose. Alex waved before the door closed. Little did you know that would be the last time you saw them alive.

1995 was the worst year of your life. 1996 was the hardest, especially with the forever reminder of your love. You wouldn’t trade 1996 for the world however, only wishing for one change.

Los Angeles, 2004

Alex, Reggie and Luke had learnt a mere few days away from that life had drastically changed forever. Firstly, the three boys had died from eating the street dogs mere hours before performing on the stage of The Orpheum. Secondly, it was no longer 1995 but instead nearly ten years had past bringing the three ghosts into 2004.

The most jarring wasn’t being able to be heard playing music with a random girl named Julie but that the most constant part of the band no longer was there. You hadn’t died that night, and Alex was pretty sure you were still alive. Luke felt lost waking up without you beside him and the deep regret of not reconciling with his parents.

It would be a week before Luke would swallow his pride enough to orb himself into his unchanged childhood home. Emily, Luke’s mom, was in the well-worn chair knitting a scarf Luke recognized as his favourite colours. Mitch was in the kitchen, putting the groceries away. It was heartbreaking being invisible to his aged parents.

“Hey, Mom.” Luke sniffled sitting on the couch nearby staring at his silent mother, “Sorry for not visiting sooner.”

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes feeling hopeless, not being able to ease his parents’ pain, the regret and guilt bubbling to the surface.

“How is Y/N? I bet she’s living in New York of London now. We promised to travel the world together. Part of me is guilty of wishing she had eaten a street dog that night so we could be together.” Luke sobbed, wrapping his arms around his midsection reminiscing on the beautiful girl he had unwillingly left.

“Hey.” Mitch spoke, kissing his wife’s forehead. Her eyes closing in contentment.

“I wonder if you know where Reg and Alex’s parents are. Reggie’s neighbourhood was torn down who knows when. It makes me scared to see if Alex and Y/N’s parents still have their place. I don’t think so. They lost their son.”

“Hey Luke.”

Luke glanced over his shoulder to see Alex at the door, reluctant to impose of Luke’s privacy.

“Yeah.”

“We’re rehearsing.” Alex spoke, smiling as the other teenager took one more wistful look at his parents before orbing out of his house to the Molina family’s garage. Minutes later, the front door opening and feet thudding brought the noise to the Patterson home.

“Grandma!”

A four-foot blue of green and black blur covered the room in seconds nearly sprawling Mitch to the floor. Why was that 1996 year difficult? Well, ’95 was when Sunset Curve tragically died, and a stick changed your life. ’96 was spent going through the last five months of pregnancy without Luke.

October 1995

You kept your lips pressed tightly together, unable to look at the smooth, shiny mahogany rectangle surrounded by flowers. Looking up meant the reality kicking in. Funerals sucked. Especially the third funeral in the last handful of days. It was surreal thinking that one week ago you had kissed your boyfriend and hugged your brother and now they were dead. Gone. Not even a goodbye.

“Are you okay?” The broke voice asked, gaining your attention. Swollen red eyes matching yours held unimaginable pain. While the last few months had been icy with your parents, it didn’t mean losing one of their kids didn’t sting.

“I will be.” You whispered clasping your hands over the scratchy black velvet dress, one you had worn three times too many.

The sobs broke out seeing the best picture Alex had taken in his life, it encapsulated his best features; his beaming smile and kind, caring eyes. Alex was gone. Your brother was gone because he ate a bad hot dog with his friends. You would never see your boys again. Never feel Luke’s skin or share a laugh with Alex or complain about things with Reggie. You wouldn’t get to meet in the chapel with Luke wearing second hand ‘fancy’ clothing. In one night, your life changed.

It changed further seeing the two lines on the test later that night. The heartache growing. The baby you carried would never meet his uncles and his Dad. Would never hear them play or learn to play. ’95 and ’96 sucked ass.

You sighed, closing the door to follow the rambunctious ball of energy into the living room where he entertained Mitch and Emily. Some days it was difficult to stare into the green eyes he inherited from his father.

“Benjamin Lucas.” You spoke crossing your arms, meeting the gaze of the eight-year-old boy, “What did I say?”

“To not runoff.” Ben quietly replied, playing with his hands. His messy brown hair, in need of a trim, falling into his eyes, “Sorry Mom.”

“Please don’t do it again.” You gently told the little boy elated as he quickly found the toy box in the corner of the room.

Ben was loved deeply by Mitch and Emily, who had stepped up when your parents made the decision to sell your childhood home. Wanting Ben to know his paternal grandparents, you had struggled to find an apartment and job to say in the neighbourhood. Since the baby was the last part of their son, the Patterson parents’ had welcomed you into the home where you stayed until Ben was two.

“Do you want us to come around for Luke’s birthday?” You questioned sitting on the love seat, the same love seat you had made out on with Luke many times during movies.

The room turned sad at the question and reminded that for the ninth year, you would celebrate Luke’s birthday without him. A day where Ben wouldn’t fully understand. Emily simply nodded her head.

 “Have you met anyone?” Mitch asked, leaning over to clasp his hands together. For the last few years, they had been pushing you to date. They wanted your happiness and for Ben to have a father even if Luke couldn’t be it.

“Mama can we stay here tonight?” Ben’s innocent voice cut the tension, saving you from answering the question again. Mitch and Emily each nodded their heads at the question, unable to tell the young boy no.

“Have you ate?” Emily asked, turning to look at you in concern. The chuckle left your mouth at the question she frequently requested, she missed cooking for more than two.

“We had pasta before we came.” You replied, turning to gaze out the window to the dark sky, “I should put Ben to bed.”

The soft whine from your son and denial was a nightly routine and very much a mirror image to Luke’s character as well. With a smile, Emily held out her hand to her grandchild, she was notoriously the only one able to get Ben to sleep fast.

 “Come on Bug.”

It seemed the universe was keeping Luke from seeing you and discovering Ben, but when that night came, he was shocked. Emily was curled up on the patio couch, watching Ben in the newly bought sandbox. The patio doors opened. Inside, Mitch had invited a stranger who knew his son into the house.

 “I think I heard the doorbell. I’ll be right back.” Emily called out to you. You had found shade under the tree reading a new book.

The soft cry had you up and running to Ben before you even realized, on his knee was a bleeding wound. You had already scooped the boy into your arms to quickly get into the kitchen. The moment your foot stepped into the home, the sound of a familiar voice and song filled the house.

Gently placing Ben on his feet, you followed the sound to the living room. Across the room behind a young girl stood a boy.

“Luke.” You breathed floored at the sight of the teenager who looked exactly like he did back in ’95. The ghost singing widened his eyes at yours, taking in the mature features and change of fashion.

He continued to sing the song Unsaid Emily he had written as an apology to his mom following the last big fight. The song he never got to show her. His voice faded as the ending of the song came around.

“Mama!” Your attention broke from Luke’s when a tiny hand reached for yours. The pain in his voice bringing you back to the most important part of your life, “It hurts Mama.”

Despite being sad, Mitch was the one to cross the room to lift the little boy into his arms. Placing the little boy on the counter, the man gently wet a paper towel to wash the area.

“I think he needs stitches.” Mitch sighed, furrowing his brows.

“Who is that?” Luke asked the Molina girl. The girl shrugged taking in the features she could recognize. Julie asked Emily.

“That’s Ben.” Emily beamed, looking over her shoulder at the little boy that filled the void of Luke’s death. It didn’t fix the wound or erase the pain, but Ben’s existence helped with the loss as he was a precious gift, “When Luke passed away his girlfriend Y/N found out she was pregnant with Luke’s baby.”

The choked sob fell from Luke’s mouth echoed by the thud of his knees, hitting the floor in the pure shock. The heartbreak painted so clear Julie was sure she could feel Luke’s agony.

God, why did Luke have to eat that fucking street dog. Fuck his band dreams. Nothing hurt as bad as finding out about Ben and Y/N having to be a single parent.

“I have a son?” Luke cried, orbing himself as far as he could from the Patterson home and his most tremendous loss.

Part Two

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[certifiedskywalker]

Reunion - Poe Dameron

Anonymous said: could you do some poe x solo!reader where she tells him about kylo being her brother

Poe left with BB8 on a mission to collect intelligence regarding the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker, your uncle. A day after his scheduled return when you get word that he was captured by the First Order. You’re struck with fear and worry, fretting over how your family could be lost. It is then you get word that Poe Dameron somehow made it back and is healing from his wounds.

“Where is he?!”

“Who?”

“Dameron, Poe Dameron!”

“He’s been logged, but we’re only letting ranking officials in to see-” You flashed your credentials at the nurse, whose eyes widened at the sight. “Oh! Lieutenant Solo!”

“Which room?”

“Here, follow me,” the nurse said, quickly moving out from behind the desk. 

Her calmness and steady steps infuriated you. Your heart beat wildly in your chest and your pace was nearing a swift jog. Panic still held you in a tight choke hold; just as tight as it had been when your mother told you of Poe’s return. The moment after she told you, you made a mad dash to the medbay, pushing past anyone that stood in your way.

“He’s in poor condition,” the nurse said, breaking you from your thoughts. “He’s been drifting in and out of consciousness. But he is stable.”

“How can he be stable but unconsciousness?” 

As you asked, you quickened your pace. A new wave of desperation fell over you. You needed to see Poe. You needed to see and learn what had happened; though you were scared to find out. And scared too see how poor his condition truly was. 

“Well, it’s difficult to explain, really. He had a high burst of adrenaline, which got him here but then it crashed and -here’s his room- but, as I said, it crashed when-”

You ignored the nurse’s attempt to explain the medical reasoning for Poe’s condition. Though, when you saw him, part of you wanted to know what made him look so small. For as long as you had known Poe, loved Poe, he had been larger than life. He had been strong, with a smile and presence and took a chunk out of any room. It took strength to hold on as he was, but he looked as if the galaxy had chewed up him and spat him out. 

“Poe…”

You walked over to his bedside, your footfalls falling into a beat that nearly matched the steady beeping of the vitals monitor. His tanned skin was pale and bruised in places. Cuts on his cheeks and one across the bridge of his nose made your stomach twist. He had been tortured, beaten, but the rise and fall of his chest was a reminder that he was alive. Perhaps that meant that your worst fears were fruitless, left unfounded.

You reached a shaking hand out to grab Poe’s. The flesh of his hand was still warm despite the coldness of the medbay. The limpness of his fingers was startling as you intertwined yours with his. You didn’t dare squeeze for fear of somehow waking him from his much needed rest. You did not move a muscle; not even when another nurse brought in a chair for you to sit in. Still as a pilotless fighter, you stayed standing by Poe’s bedside.

Time passed around you and the silent Poe. You weren’t sure as to how much time had passed until the door to his room hissed open.

“Y/N.”

You turned and met your mother’s gaze. Leia’s brown eyes were sad, glued to the scene before her. She saw your joined hands and lingered in the doorway, knowing that you wanted to be the first to be with Poe when he woke. Though, in the moment, you wanted answers.

“Did he do this?”

“It’s impossible to tell.”

“There’s no Force signature or something?” You were grasping for the right words, “there has to be some way to tell, to know that...”

“If you had finished your trying with your uncle, you would know that the Force doesn’t quite work like that. It’s not like a ship leak you can trace unless it’s left on purpose.” You squeezed your eyes shut out at Leia’s words. You shut them to control your anger; and to block the tears that threatened to spill out and over.

“If I had finished my training I would be dead,” you replied, “or worse: I’d be like Ben.”

When you opened your eyes, you met Leia’s gaze. Her mouth was slightly open in shock. You hadn’t said your brother’s name in so long. Even now, with his name said and hanging in the air of the room, it felt like a ghost. A tear slipped down your cheek at the thought.

“Tell me when he wakes,” Leia said softly, “after you’ve talked.”

“Gener-Mom,” you began to say, taking a step forward. But Leia was already gone. You bit your bottom lip to keep it from quivering as you listened to her walk down the medbay hall. Eventually, her footfalls grew quiet and you couldn’t feel her presence nearby.

Coldness left in her wake reminded you of the chill you felt the day you lost your brother. It was as if the entire galaxy had been filled with the cold snow of Hoth, only it was invisible. Every step and breath was harder, heavier. You were younger then, but you knew what the cold meant. It was darkness, the very thing you family had fought and was fighting. Ben had succumbed to it and left you, your family, lost in the snow.

“Crying over me?”

You gasped Poe’s name and turned your attention away from the now empty doorway. Despite the evident pain he was in, Poe was smiling at you. His grin coaxed you into moving to be as close to him as the medical cot and equipment in the room would allow. You smiled and, when you did, you felt the wetness that had gathered on your cheeks. Quickly, you wiped them away. You hadn’t even known you were crying.

“H-hey you,” you stammered. At the shakiness of your voice, Poe’s smile fell. He shifted in his cot, pressed his back against the small, metal headrest. 

“I’m okay,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze. “C’mere.” 

When Poe lifted his free hand and pulled his blankets up to make room for you, you felt your entire heart lurch with relief. Carefully, you clambered into the cot with Poe and wrapped your arms around him. You maneuvered around the tubes and wires connected to his flesh, fearful that knocking them would alert the medical staff of his lucid state. Selfishly, you wanted Poe to yourself, even if it was only for a little while. 

“You know I couldn’t not see you again,” Poe said softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I promised you that I would be back.”

“I know,” you whimpered. All of your strength and stoicness was gone now, held loosely, but warm, in Poe’s arms. 

“What’s wrong then? Tell me,” Poe’s voice had lost it’s signature, confident edge. Exchanged it for a tone of deep concern. He was worried about you.

You craned your neck so you could look up at him from where you head rested against his shoulder. His brown eyes were darker under the synthetic lights of the room. With a slightly trembling hand, you reached up and trailed your fingers along his jaw. His already half-lidded eyes closed at the contact. In a way that was more longing than sensual, you brushed your lip along Poe’s full bottom lip. The sigh he released at the touch kissed the skin of your hand.

“You’re still really good at distracting me,” Poe murmured. A bit of lightness had returned to his voice which relieved the ache in your chest.

“I couldn’t distract myself from worrying about you.” 

Poe opened his eyes and, when you thumb brushed against the corner of his mouth, he pressed the softest of kisses to it. A smile crept it’s way onto your lips and you felt your stomach twist. Despite wanting to savor the moment, bask in the fact that your love was back by your side and alive, you also wanted an answer. No, you needed an answer.

“Poe….who did this to you?”

His gaze fell from yours to his lap. A shuddering, haggard breath shook in Poe’s chest. The dash of contentment that washed over him disappeared in an instant. You shifted in his arms so that you could look into his eyes. When Poe finally met your gaze again, you could see the fear that was nestled there. 

“Kylo Ren.”

Coldness returned to wrap its arms around you, a chilling reminder of the darkness that threatened to engulf your family. It had nearly destroyed Poe. Your eyes grew suddenly misty as you looked into his eyes. At the sight, he reached to hold your hold in his hand.

“Hey, I’m alright,” you pressed your face into the meat of his palm and closed your eyes. Poe, somewhat startled by your tears, continued to comfort you. “He’s more interrogation droid than man. He got to me, but it’s nothing we can’t fight. Once we find BB8, we’ll be ahead of him, alright? We’ll be okay.”

“No,” you whispered as you opened your eyes. “We’ll never be done with him.”

“Baby,” Poe said softly, “what do you mean?”

You looked into his eyes, savored the feeling of his concern, his love for you. After you told him the cold truth, he might not look at you the same. “He’s my brother.”

Poe’s eyes widened but he did not recoil as you originally thought he would. His hand remained pressed against your cheek, with his thumb rubbing soothingly against the skin. When the silence stretched on, you pulled away from his touch. You readied yourself to leave in a rush; a trait that your mother said you got from your father.

“Kylo Ren is-

“Ben Solo,” you finished for him. You snuck a glance at Poe only to find he was still looking at you. Despite the shock in his expression, there were still hints of affection in his gaze. 

Poe let out a heavy sigh and laid back in his cot. “And I thought meeting your father would be intense.”

Poe’s quip was enough to cut the heavy tension that had rested in the air around you. At his words, a sharp, bitter laugh fell from your lips. You had to place a hand on your chest to keep from tumbling into a fit. When you managed to collect yourself, you looked back at Poe. There was a slight smile on his lips as he stared back at you.

“Too soon?”

“How can you...how can you smile and make jokes right now?” A small flame of anger burned in your stomach. How could he be so light at a time like this? 

Then the fire fizzled out under a wash of pure admiration. You loved Poe for that very reason. For, whenever it felt like the world, the galaxy, was crashing down around you, he could lift it up again. He could lift you up, save you from the drowning depths of your mind. Poe could do it so naturally, so effortlessly, and you were lost in him.

“Because your laugh heals all wounds,” Poe teased as he leaned towards you. He took your face in his hand and held your gaze. “Because I love you, no matter what, and I know you get trapped in here,” he tapped the tip of his index finger against your forehead, “and I want you here, with me, Lieutenant Solo. Can you stay with me?”

Without hesitation you replied, “always.”

Poe smiled at your answer and leaned in. For the first time in cycles, Poe’s lips have found yours. Warmth spread to every nerve ending in your body and the coldness melted away.

[elionwriter]

MY FAV STAR WARS COUPLE DYNAMICS:

(for the sake of this post let's all just pretend no one dies, ok?)

Anakin - Padme: their relationship started with pure drama and really bad, corny pick up lines and it just goes on that way. Even when they are happily exiled on Naboo with their children and everyone knows about them, whenever they talk about their love or tell the story to Luke and Leia it's always with the tones of a 'larger than life situation'. Obviously Anakin is the drama queen who really pushes it (and is still salty he had to give up his title as Jedi Master) but Padme fell for him when he did the whole whiny speech about sand and married him, she secretly supports this s***t! 😝

Han - Leia: bickering is their love language. Screaming to impose supremacy is their flirting. The thing is, they never bicker for serious stuff, because they actually agree on what matters and get along as a couple, it's the principle of things! Sometimes a friend of Ben overhears them and goes 😱 "I'm really sorry for intruding on this, pal. Will your parents be alright?" And Ben with the calmest expression will answer "They literally do this all the time". It's the silence that's worriesome. When Leia is just too tired to keep fighting after hours of doing so with politicians, when Han doesn't bother to stay to face the argument and just hops on the Falcon again, THAT'S when they realise they are falling out. So they push duty and lust for adventure aside to go back spending quality time together and patching things up. Sure enough, the bickering starts again and Ben is like "😌 aaah everything is fine again".

Din - Luke: they are the picture perfect couple. They literally never argue, at best they poke eachother when one of the two does something the other doesn't entirely agree on. They have each other's back in any instance, support every choice and are there for backup when others want a fight or have something to say either on Din's leadership or Luke's approach to the Jedi code and teachings. It took them forever to actually get together because they acted like shy teenagers on their first crush and Leia, Han and Cara had to practically push them into each other's arms, but once they got there they were solid a couple as a rock. Others look at them and think they are either disgustingly mushy or still in a 'honeymoon face', because NO ONE has such a stress-free marriage. Din and Luke truly don't get what the fuss and all the drama's about. So even though they end up practically parenting the space version of the kids from 'Cheaper by the dozen' they act like parental figures to their friends as well. Life as Manda'lor and the Reviver of the Jedi order can be hell, but together they are just balanced like that and can face everything! They even create a new co-op fighting style for Jedi/Mandalorians that becomes the terror and amazement of the Galaxy for centuries to come!😌😏💪

Kannan - Hera: very similar to Dinluke except they do at times have some small moments of tension because Hera is a fighter to the core and Kannan can't help but wonder if the battle will ever truly end. But his queen's passion and resolve is so bright and steeled that he can't help but fall in love a little more every time and follow, knowing it's the right thing to do. They have an example to set for their son, after all. Kannan will absolutely love Jacen and will introduce Ezra to his son (once Sabine and Ashoka bring him back) as his older brother. Much like when he trained Ezra or faced Sabine, Kannan will sometimes doubt himself and wonder if he's acting like a good parent to Jacen. Hera will smile and reassure him, describing to him the bright and happy smile on their son's face or how Jecen's nose scrunches and his long, greenish ears wiggle in delight whenever Kannan plays with him or cuddles him. As Hera says so, Kannan holds her and feels like he can actually see it too.

Sabine - Ezra: After Ezra is brought back to his family from wherever or whatever happened to him after facing Thrawn, both of them will just indulge in sudden hugs or touches to make sure the other is actually there. Of course, they first think of their bond as a solid friendship and camaraderie, because that's what it was when they left off. The extra touching is just the response to being apart for so long and being worried for each other. But then Sabine notices that Ezra actually looks really good with long hair and the scruffy beard he grew out. She catches herself thinking of how warm and safe if feels in his arms and mentally kicks herself because she's a Mandalorian, all she should need is a loaded blaster to feel safe. Ezra, on the other hand, starts playing with Sabine's hair when complimenting her new dye and suddenly finds himself cupping her face like it's the most natural thing in the world. Long story short, they fall for eachother hard and become the prototype of the couple "my boyfriend/girlfriend is my best friend". When they are comfortable with their new status, Ezra goes back flirting dorkishly with her like he did all those years back when they first met and Sabine will tease him by shooting his advances down.

Ashoka - Bo Katan: joke's on Bo-katan for cringing back in the day at her sister's relationship with a Jedi. She thought destiny or the force or whatever was really messing with her when she realized that her rival and pupil, Din Djarin, the new leader of Mandalorians was also falling helplessly in love with a Jedi (Obi-Wan's student nonetheless). When she hears Sabine Wren and her Jedi boy also got together she stops questioning it. The thing is that she herself has been inexplicably, undeniably charmed and hooked to a Jedi for years now. The very same Jedi she had teased didn't have enough booty, what felt like a lifetime prior. But she's Bo-Katan, she can be in angry denial about anything. Ashoka, on the other hand, has seen and has been conditioned too much on what attachment does to a Jedi, even if she doesn't consider herself one anymore. So, even if the chemistry between them and the long lingering stares are real, their love is always kept a quiet, unspoken thing. Whenever they call eachother "my old friend" they know they actually mean more, but leave it at that. Everyone around them can't help wondering 'are they a thing or...?!' but they never feed the theories and gossip. They know what they are and mean for each other when they are alone in the same room, talking about the past or what must be done in the future and Ashoka's mere presence is enough to cool down the ever-present burning rage inside of Bo. Meanwhile, the other can't help but admire how single minded and devoted to her people and culture the Mandalorian princess is, how she never gave up on them, despite everything. They smile softly at each other, then one of them breaks the spell by leaving. They go back to their own business and life untill destiny or the force or whatever brings them back into eachother's orbit.

Revan - Carth: normally they act very much like Leia and Han with the bickering and teasing bit but then Revan has one of her memories returning or is haunted by how she basically condemned her lifelong best friend Malak to a terrible death and Carth instantly does a 180° shift becoming the most caring, comforting and tender partner. She'll hide into his chest until the crisis in over. Sometimes it can go on for days and Revan is oh, so grateful of how patient and good Carth is to her. Then, at times, Carth is the one burying his head in her chest and she's the one doing the tender, hair strokes. Carth needs a lot of reassuring and might get upset and fret over even what appears to be a trivial thing. He's trying to heal and get better but the long, long years of solitude, hurt and paranoia are hard to iron down. Expecially when Carth seems to have an instinct that puts a Jedi to shame, foreseeing a crisis neither she nor Bastila had picked up. But he is making an effort to improve and she's proud of him, even as he tries very clumsily to patch things up with his son Dustil. She doesn't really step in that matter more than she has to, since Dustil is clearly not happy nor comfortable with the idea of them being together yet. Carth will sometimes open his heart to her and say something deeply meaningful on how he wants her to stay ( when she looks particularly haunted and about to leave without a work of warning) and be happy but does so with such awkward word choices that Revan just cannot refrain from laughing at his face and making puns. It's at this point that the back and forth teasing resumes. There is no denying they are still deeply wounded individuals and they are at their best when their friends are there to lighten the mood and show love to the both of them. Because they could easily go down the path of drama like Anakin and Padme but they choose the Ebon Hawk crew shenanigans instead.

Obi Wan - Satine: their love is stored in the memory of that glorious time they spent together in their youth. A moment in which no responsibility or sense of honor could keep them from giving in to that feeling of want and need for each other. It's a love that never truly went away, never left space for anyone else, but it never fully grew and bloomed either. So years down the line, that's what it is for Obi-Wan, a pleasant memory. He would never change how things went afterwards, but he wouldn't give up those memories and feelings for anything in the world. Satine feels the same, mostly. There are nights that she falls asleep wondering what could have been if only she had talked up at the decisive moment and dreams of a life spent together with Obi-Wan. But when she wakes up, she sobers up and goes back to her things. It's when she looks at her Korkie smile and notices how resembling to his secret father he is that she is truly at peace. She managed to keep a peace of Obi-Wan in her life.

Cal - Merrin: I have no idea for this one, but just stop and consider the possible 'nightsisters babies' though! Wouldn't they be the cutest things ever?! 😀

Sorry Cara Dune, you just haven't met the woman of your life yet. 😔

Also, I kinda like Zeb and Callus too but I don't really ship them enough to add them here, you know? Anyway I'm sure they make a lovely couple.

[obi-wkenobi]

Whumptober 2021

Day 5: Comfort (alternative prompt)

Read below or on A03.

“I need to leave for work now,” Bail said, picking up his datapad from the table and smiling at Obi-Wan. “Once I’m back we’ll have some more time to talk about how you could help the Rebellion. You’ve been away from any action for a long time,” he teased gently.

Obi-Wan huffed and nodded, resisting the urge to remind Bail that he would only be on Alderaan for a short while. Luke still needed him on Tatooine, after all.

In the silence of Bail’s home he decided to use the computer to check the HoloNet. 

Ten years ago he never would have had to do such a thing, as a Jedi he was always kept up to date on the latest Galactic news and hadn’t realised just how much he took it for granted until he was forced to live on Tatooine. His homestead in the Dune Sea didn’t offer him close-by access to prominent Senators or the Republic’s capital, instead he barely even saw one individual in a standard week and so the latest news was the furthest thing from his mind.

At first it had been difficult, but as he glanced through the news he found that he didn’t care for any of it. This knowledge wouldn’t affect his life whatsoever, he had adapted himself to a myopic worldview whereby his only considerations were how much water he had, what he should eat next, how he would get that piece of food and if Luke was safe. Why should his focus be on anything else? He was still a Jedi and so he knew that he should still somewhat care for the state of the Galaxy, but he could also acknowledge that he was a bit bitter. The Galaxy had not helped the Jedi and so why should he care? Perhaps if he had the ability to do something about it then he would. He huffed to himself, such thoughts were pointless. 

Soon afterward he went to explore the house, where he quickly found a patio door that led to an expansive garden blooming with exotic flowers. In the distance a winding gravel path could be seen leading to a large, bountiful lake. He stood there in awe, amazed by all the colours, flourishing in an infinity of shades. The lake mesmerized him the most, it’s complete stillness, yet also its constant motion. The ripples that could be seen from a harsh breeze and the small splashes made when wildlife came up for air. They showed that it was a living thing, not just an inanimate object. 

There weren’t such colours or displays of life on Tatooine, all he had to see there was an endless expanse of sand, capable of movement but always the same; coarse, rough, and beige, with no indication that it relied on its surroundings to survive. 

Obi-Wan stood there for a long time, staring at the lake in contemplation. A consequence of Tatooine was that time had become unimportant to him, why shouldn’t he spend a minute or an hour on one task? Other than the darkening of the sky there was no need for him to monitor time. What was the point when there wasn’t even the changing of a season to keep him company? He was unable to say what year he had broken a finger whilst climbing a canyon wall, or what month a sandstorm had blown down the enclosure that contained his Bantha. If asked he could comment on which had come first, but not the exact date that they happened or the amount of time that had passed in between. 

The tedious desert had taught him the one thing that he had always needed to learn, how to live in the present moment. Although, he suspected Qui-Gon had not had such drastic teaching methods in mind when training him all those years ago. 

Therefore, he wasn’t too surprised when Leia turned up at his side sometime later. She stood there with him as he continued observing the boundless swaying of the trees and ripples of the lake, so like his time spent watching the ebb and flow of the Dunes outside his home. He wasn’t disturbed, nor did he mind when she slipped her hand inside his own, patiently waiting for him to start a conversation. 

Eventually though, it appeared that she was unable to contain herself and so she asked, “Do you like the water? I think I prefer space, that way I can fly wherever I want.”

Obi-Wan pulled a face instinctively. “I much prefer the water, flying isn’t something that I really enjoy.” He wondered if he had been exiled to an ocean world if he would have come to hate water, just as he had come to hate sand. 

“You don’t like flying?” she said, aghast. “But you must have flown to loads of planets.”

“I have,” he conceded. 

Still curious, she inquired, “Did you just have people flying you to places then? Like your Padawan?”

He stiffened immediately, his hand tensing within Leia’s. 

“You don’t like talking about him do you?”

Obi-Wan didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

“Father told me that he died, is that why? You must miss him, especially after you spent years and years together.”

He battled with his grief before deciding on the truth. “It’s hard to talk about someone who you miss.”

She gazed up at him, innocent and oblivious. “Maybe one day when the Jedi Order is restored you can have another Padawan?”

His eyes closed in anguish. One day the Jedi Order may be restored, but it wouldn’t be in his lifetime. And even if it was, he wouldn’t take on another Padawan lest he failed them as well. 

A tug on his hand drew his attention down and he stared at Anakin’s child, whose earnest eyes only made him think of the young slave boy he had met on Tatooine. 

An unpleasant wave of helplessness crashed over him then. He was the one unifying thread intertwining the fate of the Galaxy together, he was bound to these children—and Anakin, and it was his destiny to bring them together and to ensure that their purposes be fulfilled. It had never been his decision to do so though, that had been taken from him when Qui-Gon had made him promise to train a troubled, young boy. And so he may have been the key to everything, but his life had never been his own and he must bear the brunt of it—of the responsibility and the guilt, for they had always been his alone. 

Leia frowned at him in concern, her underlying Force sensitivity undeniably able to sense his distress. “Ben?”

The soft name roused him from his despair and he scolded himself for being unable to find balance, for letting his fear still hold him hostage even after all this time. Surely he could find some cause for joy here? Leia was safe and happy and that more than anything should have stirred his optimism. But even that didn’t comfort him, who knew what might happen to Leia should he fail in the end.

“Are you okay? Why are you so sad?”

He smiled at her gently, though he was sure it wasn’t convincing. “I’m okay.”

Her lip wobbled threateningly, so he fell down on one knee and grabbed both of her hands in his. “I promise I’m okay,” he reassured.

Irritation appeared on her face even as her eyes pulled down in worry. “You’re lying,” Leia mumbled. “You’re so sad, I can feel it, you’ve been sad since you got here.”

What could he say to that? Obi-Wan knew his shields were strong and so he could only assume that she had a certain talent for detecting people’s emotions, but how does one explain to a child the extent of his grief? The sadness of his Force signature was always present now and he very much doubted that would ever change.

It wasn’t that Obi-Wan hadn’t accepted his loss, he had. He had accepted the destruction of the Jedi and had accepted that it was his pupil that had helped with the genocide of his fellow, but he was a forever changed man because of it and as a result, his presence had changed too.

As with before he decided to be honest, or at least as honest as he could be. “I am sad, but that doesn’t mean that I’m also not happy. Seeing you and your father has made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

In a display of perception that no normal child would have, she narrowed her eyes at him and observed him with quiet interest, “Really?”

“Yes,” he said truthfully. 

Having decided that he wasn’t lying, Leia gave him a nod of acceptance and then launched herself at him and drew him into an enveloping hug. It took his breath away. He had not been touched with such kind intent in nearly a decade and the knowledge that it was Padmé’s and Anakin’s daughter doing so made him want to cry from both happiness and remorse. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled, further sitting on the floor and pulling Leia onto his lap, smiling when she rested her head on his shoulder.

[allthingskenobi]

Obi-Wan in Exile – Vader

(Originally published on AllThingsKenobi.com December 13, 2020)

Welcome to the first in a series of looks into Obi-Wan Kenobi’s time in exile on Tatooine between Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. We’ve tried to mine as much Legends and canon material as possible to help guide you through some of the period’s most common and repetitive themes so that when the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series airs, you’ll be ready.

Not everything he ever did in the entire 19 years will be explored here, but as we said, we’ve tried our best to pick out the most prominent and impactful moments to give everyone a better understanding of exactly what one hermit had to endure out there all alone in the sandy deserts of Tatooine.

While Vader himself was not a common reoccurrence throughout Obi-Wan’s exile, the threat of him certainly was…well until now that is. As Vader so often does, he’s recently made his way back to the forefront of the story and will seemingly loom very large over the upcoming series, thus moving us to start with exactly what that might mean for Obi-Wan and how it might work with the canon boundaries we currently have. Yes, we understand that canon can change and probably will, but we do love a challenge.

“Vader,” Obi-Wan muttered. “Vader’s alive.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Let’s start at the beginning. We have one instance in Legends where we see Obi-Wan learn that Vader survived Mustafar and it comes mere months after his exile on Tatooine begins. He first hears the name “Vader” mentioned again on the HoloNet during one of his trips into Mos Eisley and nearly faints before panicking to find a way to take Luke and run. (1) This early recognition seems to be reconfirmed in later canon as one of Ben’s greatest fears in the third year of his exile continued to be “sand crunching beneath heavy black boots, a dark cape billowing in the desert squall, the mechanical wheeze of a respirator.” (2) So will we see Obi-Wan only just learning of Vader’s fate in the tenth year of his exile? I’d say that’s highly doubtful unless the show provides a flashback for us—which we will gladly accept.

“Instead, Padmé was dead and Obi-Wan was running for his life, as stripped of everything as Vader was. Without friends, family, purpose…”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

At the same time, Vader was also very convinced that Obi-Wan was still alive and would remain so despite his greatest efforts. Because if there was one thing Vader was good at it, it was holding a grudge like he held a lightsaber, and he would expend quite a bit of energy over the 19 years between episodes III and IV searching for his old Master. (Just ask anyone he comes across in the comics.) Oh, and let’s not forget that it’s also Vader who would later inform a disbelieving Tarkin, in no uncertain terms, that Obi-Wan was still alive and on the Death Star. (3)

“No, I can’t [leave],” Ben said, firmly. “I must be here.”

KENOBI BY JOHN JACKSON MILLER L

“The core of Anakin that resides in Vader grasps that Tatooine is the source of nearly everything that causes him pain. Vader will never set foot on Tatooine, if only out of fear of reawakening Anakin.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Now that we’ve established that they both knew of each other’s survival, it begs the question as to why their paths never actually crossed in 19 years. Personally, I think it’s fairly simple: Obi-Wan would never leave Tatooine and Vader would never go anywhere near it. We will discuss Obi-Wan not leaving Tatooine more in-depth at a later time (and yes, we know what Ewan said about having a ‘rollicking time’), but Vader would canonically never visit his home planet until well after Obi-Wan and Luke were both gone. (4)(5) And by then it was much too late.

That brings us to the most recent ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ news and how that fits in with what Legends and canon have told us so far. We received a lot of exciting and thought-provoking announcements in a short amount of time, and frankly, our minds haven’t stopped spinning since. Could the show undo what we currently assume to be true? Yes. Could the show work within those same parameters? Also, yes. Do I personally have any idea what’s going to happen? No. DO I THINK THE SHOW IS GOING TO BE AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT? Y E S. The goal of this exercise is to simply try and reconcile the new details to the existing Star Wars lore because I think that’s what makes it interesting. So you can take it or leave it. The choice is yours. (Until it isn’t because the show has aired and this is all pointless.)

HERE WE GO.

“[Deborah] Chow confirmed that audiences will “definitely see Obi-Wan and Darth Vader get into it again” as we see the blue blade of a hooded Obi-Wan clash with the fiery red blade of Darth Vader.”

“McGregor knows the battle will be eagerly anticipated, and he’s looking forward to performing it just as much: “Having another swing at each other might be quite satisfying for everybody. We hope that you enjoy it as much as we’re going to enjoy making it.””

DEBORAH CHOW AND EWAN MCGREGOR DURING THE DISNEY INVESTOR’S REEL

Not only was the “Hayden Christensen returning as Darth Vader” bombshell dropped in our laps, but we were also fed the above morsels (not once but thrice) and told to digest them. Our first reaction was a hearty and well-deserved cry of rejoicing until the realization of what this could all mean set in and it turned into a hearty and well-deserved sob.

There’s hardly a way to be disappointed in the fact that we will see Ewan and Hayden not only together again, but “getting into it” as well, but we do have to wonder what this means for the moment where Obi-Wan and Vader face each other again on the Death Star. The moment is not only pivotal to Episode IV, but I would argue, the entire saga. And it’s made even more impactful by the fact that the two men have not physically confronted each other since their fateful battle on Mustafar.

What we do know, and that which should not change, is that Vader never knew where Obi-Wan was hiding nor that he had Luke, his son, with him. That tells me two things: whatever kind of “rematch” happens here does not endanger Luke’s safety in the long run nor is it probably something that would occur more than once. I think what we’re going to see happen is isolated and “unexpected,” occurring only once ten years into Obi-Wan’s exile.

You: But, All Things Kenobi, if they could never physically meet on Tatooine or elsewhere, then what does this all mean??

Us: Do we look like Deborah Chow or Ewan McGregor? Do we have all the answers for you? NO! But can we try to help ease your mind until the show airs and I’m proven all sorts of wrong?? YES! SO PUT ON THAT TINFOIL HAT AND LET’S DO THIS!!

“I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since…”

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE C

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do.”

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI C

Instantly our minds turned to these two particular comments from Vader in Episodes IV and VI. They’ve always stood out as peculiar, demanding explanation, but even more so now. The first is a vague, open-ended statement that leaves us to assume they hadn’t met again since they parted on the slopes of Mustafar. The second is a seemingly wistful reminiscence of a memory Vader has of his old master.

Luke had just finished making a heartfelt plea for Anakin to remember his “true self” then says, “come with me.” Where did Obi-Wan make the same appeal to only be shunned by Vader as well? Is it possible the series will show us this after all these years and possibly solve the riddle of both enigmatic statements at once? Is it possible that any such conversation might quickly devolve into another lightsaber-fueled clash??

“Count Dooku was Yoda’s apprentice.”

“And Count Dooku has fallen to the dark side.”

“All of us have apprenticed to Master Yoda.”

“He cannot be held accountable for Dooku’s descent.”

“But they are connected. Profoundly.”

THE CLONE WARS 6×11 “VOICES” C

A distinct bond exists between each Padawan and Master and unfortunately that bond does not disappear when one or the other becomes a Sith Lord. Despite the bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin being firmly closed at both ends, there’s no doubt that a presence remains. And even the most sturdy walls might crack from time to time.

Even after 19 years apart, Vader is quick to recognize when Obi-Wan is nearby and goes so far as to know his intent. “Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone.” And he’s right. (3) As for Obi-Wan, the Force has plagued him with dreams and visions, even showing him “a limbless wreck hanging in a bacta tank, necrotic skin pallid and scarred.” (2)

Could their strong connection be the vehicle that allows Obi-Wan and Anakin to confront each other once more? Within the Force they could not only converse, but we could also see them “take another swing” at each other without any physical consequences no matter who “wins.” The mental toll would also make for great drama for both men and bring a new perspective and emotional weight to several scenes in the Original Trilogy.

“If you loved me, Obi-Wan, you would have killed me.”

STAR WARS: DARTH VADER 24 BY KIERON GILLEN C

Finally, it’s quite possible that Obi-Wan might not physically be involved at all in their “rematch” and it might be entirely from Vader’s perspective. One theory could be as simple as the fact that Vader once had a training droid whose deadliest combat setting took the form of his former master. (Oh, Anakin.) (6) Another theory, and a much more likely one, could be that Vader has a Force vision or dream that allows him to recreate and relive various moments between himself and Obi-Wan, including, but not limited to, another lightsaber battle. This would be interesting to witness as every time it occurs, it means that Vader is wrestling with Anakin.

Although the Obi-Wan that continues to exist in Anakin’s psyche doesn’t seem too different from the real thing, just imagine Ewan McGregor getting to play Obi-Wan from Anakin’s point of view…I’ll just drop my mic there.

Star Wars: Darth Vader 24 by Kieron Gillen (2016) C

Star Wars: Darth Vader 5 by Charles Soule (2017) C

Citations:

(1) Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno L

(2) “Time of Death” – From A Certain Point of View by Cavan Scott C

(3) Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope C

(4) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2016 by Kieron Gillen C

(5) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2020 by Greg Pak C

(6) Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (2008) by Haden Blackman L

[deniigi]

SO i've been reading your mando/luke series (which is brilliant by the way) and am so excited for when leia inevitably finds out about the marriage. i mean, can you just picture, tiny leia organa getting in din's fave like if you hurt my little brother i will kill you, and han just making apologetic faces in the background.

anyway! sorry to subject you to my ramblings, but i just wanted to say that it's really fantastic and you're an amazing writer.

Hi Anon!!

I think this was sent a while ago, before Leia became aware of things in the FTL Verse. But since then I wrote a cute little bit about her and Din bonding that I think you may enjoy.

Title: Flight School

Summary: Leia’s a shit pilot. Din’s her newest choice of flying teacher. Luke tags along against his better judgement and mounting anxiety.

--

About eight or so years ago, Han had tried to teach Leia how to fly, and coincidentally, about eight or so years ago, Han had banned Leia from the cockpit of every craft he had access to.

Luke hadn’t believed him when he said that he was done with trying to teach her for good and forever. He had thought, like a fool, that he’d have better luck.

Maybe it had been too much faith in their twin bond. Maybe it had been hubris.

The result was the same.

If Leia thought that she was putting so much as a toe over the cockpit threshold while Luke was sat at the controls, she had another thing coming.

The closest he’d let her to the console was the back right seat. That was it. That was as far into a corner as he could feasibly get her while still allowing her to see what was happening.

And so was established the present the order of operations that occurred on every family trip off of Yavin:

Step 1. Gather in front of the chosen vehicle.

Step 2. Board.

Step 3. Strap in Ben.

Step 4. Locate, disarm, and manhandle Leia into the seat next to Ben.

Step 5. Proceed with all other preparatory measures as usual.

This order of operations worked fine--great, even--until the family expanded.

Din and Grogu had their own pre- and in-flight procedures. They were haphazard. They were chaotic. They bore next to no resemblance to the word ‘safety’ and instead an alarming resemblance to a duck and cover drill, but you know what? Luke was willing to look past that because Din was a good pilot.

For all crafts? No. No, Din could successfully pilot about seven different types of ship before he started literally winging it.

Thankfully, his version of winging it was at least informed.

Sort of.

Kind of.

Alright, maybe Luke had more faith in Din’s natural ability to improvise than he did in his piloting, but that was not the issue at hand.

The issue at hand was Leia. Leia who had one single time seen Din take the controls from Luke so that Luke could go talk to her in the main cabin. That tiny misstep was enough to remind her that she wasn’t allowed to take the controls when she flew with Luke.

The jealousy had crashed over Luke like a seawall in a tsunami, which was how they’d gotten here. Right here. With Din waving Luke and Han off dismissively, saying that he’d teach the lady, no problem.

Luke snatched Grogu from his arms right after he finished that sentence. There was no way in hell he was letting the child on board alongside the toxic combination before him.

Din asked Leia what she knew about flying.

She said that she knew which way was down and that crashing was not optimal.

Din cleared her for takeoff.

“Relax,” he said while Han and Luke and Chewie crunched together and tried to practice deep breathing as one single body. “I got stuck on Paz’s first flight post-helmet and let me tell you: nothing will ever top that.”

Han told him not to underestimate Leia’s abilities. Whoever ‘Paz’ was, his record was sure to be beaten.

“I dunno about that,” Din said, giving Leia boost up into the ship’s entrance. “It took Paz twelve times to figure out how to land. The only thing that saved him was our oldest guy finding the mechanic’s pre-written homicide confession before the thirteenth try.”

With every little nugget of Din’s covert childhood came a new bout of indigestion. Luke was starting to regret having ever asked him to open up about it.

“Maybe shoot for a slightly higher goal, then,” Han suggested as Din hauled himself up into the Rust Bucket after Leia.

“I’ll take it under advisement,” Din said before closing the hatch.

 --

 Luke was rattling, rattling, rattling out here on the ground. If he looked up and squinted, he could just see Leia through the cockpit’s hazy windshield. She was pointing at things and talking. Presumably, Din was answering her.

God, what a way for those two to meet in person.

“Should we clear back?” Han asked Luke and Chewie.

Luke looked up at him and then back to the ship. He looked up again and then back again.

“Luke,” Han drawled. “Luke, buddy, let’s not. Just this once.”

Luke shoved Grogu into his arms.

 --

 Din told him to stop breaking into the ship for the eighth time, but Luke ignored him to scramble into Grogu’s usual seat.

He strapped every strap he could strap and gripped the sides of the seat as tight as his hands would allow.

His knees wanted nothing more than to bounce into oblivion.

He was aware that Din was looking back at him while Leia asked where the brake was. He did not look back. He trained his gaze out the windshield at Han. Han met his eye and then shook his head sadly. Chewie pulled him back. Han set Grogu down and followed him. Grogu turned around and gave a little wave.

Luke felt a tear threatening to fall.

He pried a hand from the side of the seat and waved back.

“Alright, I’m ready,” Leia said.

--

[mldrgrl]

Broken Things 24/24

by: mldrgrl Rating: varies by chapter, rated R overall  See Chapter 1 for summary and notes**

**Additional notes to follow in a separate post

Epilogue

There’s a bookcase in their room built by Luke Doggett that Mulder has filled with books of all kinds.  He’s glad they decided to extend the bedroom out when they did the expansion because it takes up a lot of space.  He’s also glad for the extra room because it means, while Katherine paces back and forth, he can follow behind and not bump into too many things.

Katherine stops suddenly and leans onto the bookcase.  She moans deeply and Mulder holds her from behind and rubs her hips.

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Monica says.  “Just breathe through it.  Keep breathing.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to lie down?” Mulder asks.  “Just for a little while.”

Katherine hisses through her teeth and shakes her head.  Her forehead wrinkles and she moans again and clutches Mulder’s hand so tightly he’s sure it might break.  Monica comes over and puts her hand on Katherine’s belly.

“I think having a lie down might be a good idea about now,” Monica says.

Mulder puts his arm around Katherine and moves her to the bed.  He helps her to sit while Monica stacks the pillows up at the head of the bed.

“You’re the first husband I’ve had at a birth,” Monica says.

“I’m not leaving.”

“It’s fine by me if it’s fine by Katherine.”

“Don’t go,” Katherine whispers to him.  

“I won’t,” he tells her.

“I need him here,” Katherine says to Monica.

“Whatever you need, you’ll have.”  Monica nods and then she helps move Katherine up to the pillows and she tells her to shift down a bit and bring her knees up so she can check the baby’s progress.

The miraculous arrival of the twin fillies is the only birth that Mulder has attended in his life.  He skimmed through one of Katherine’s textbooks on obstetrics to have an idea of what he might be in for, but he found it to be so terrifying he had to stop reading.  It doesn’t seem possible, even though he knows it has to be.

He’s never seen his wife as scared as she’s been throughout this pregnancy.  She’s been terrified of losing the baby and he understands her fears.  Every night he’s gently caressed her growing belly and whispered to the baby how wonderful the world will be when he or she arrives.  You’ll have your own cradle made especially for you by Luke Doggett.  You’ll have your own horses to play with and one day I’ll buy you a pony with a little cart, would you like that?  You’ll have all the picture books I can find and I’ll read to you every night.  You’ll have the very best, most brave, most wonderful, most beautiful, most special, most loving, most fierce, most smartest Mama in all of the world.  But, you just stay nice and cozy where you’re at for now.  Stay until the time is right, okay?

Katherine grits her teeth and then comes up away from the pillows onto her hands and whimpers pathetically.  Mulder looks at Monica who is nodding encouragingly and rubbing Katherine’s belly.

“When it grips you again like before, you go ahead and push,” Monica says.  “Mulder, why don’t you give her a nice place to lean into to help.”

Mulder scoots closer so that Katherine can lean back into his chest.  She’s breathing hard and there’s sweat beading across her hairline.  He holds her hands and then her body grows stiff and she squeezes her eyes shut.

“Push, Katherine,” Monica says.  “That’s it.”

Katherine groans and then she falls limp in Mulder’s arms.  He feels the same helpless panic he felt when he was trying to help the horse drop her foal.  He knows he’s utterly useless and he can’t stand to be.  When Katherine’s body goes stiff again, he drops his head and starts to whisper the same things he whispered to Mary.

“You’re the only one that can do this,” he says.  “But, you’re strong and you’re brave and I believe in you.  You can do it.”

“Just a little more,” Monica says.  “You’re doing great.”

“Almost,” Mulder whispers.  “You can do it.”

Katherine lolls a little against Mulder’s chest and then she takes a deep breath and pushes again.  Her face grows red with exertion and she cries out before she deflates.  A different kind of shivery little cry fills the room.  Monica laughs and begins toweling off the squalling infant as quickly as possible and then passes the little bundle into Katherine’s arms.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a new little filly,” Mulder whispers.

Katherine starts crying and brings the baby up to kiss her head.  She has little wispy blonde curls that Mulder runs his hand over.  The baby looks at him and he swears one of her eyebrows lifts inquisitively just like her mother’s.

“Look at those blue eyes,” he says.

“All babies have blue eyes,” Katherine murmurs.

“This blue?  They look like the ocean.”

“Well, what are you gonna call her?” Monica asks.

“I want to name her after Mulder’s aunt,” Katherine answers.

“Oh that’s sweet.  What was your aunt’s name?”

“Hortense,” Mulder answers, and then laughs at the look on Monica’s face.  “Emeline was her name.  But, I think we agreed on Emily Eliza if it was a girl.”

Katherine nods.

“Hey…”  Mulder eases out from behind Katherine.  “What day is it?”

“I heard the clock in the hall chime at midnight a little while ago,” Monica answers.  “September 9th, 1888.  She’s a seven.  She’s going to be very contemplative.”

“It’s two years to the day from when we first met,” Mulder says.  

“Only two years?” Katherine wonders.  “It feels as though we’ve been together forever.”

“Forever is ahead of us, not behind.”  Mulder smiles as the baby yawns and reaches out to touch her tiny hand.  She curls her fingers around his with a tight grip.  

↭

The year before Emily was born they took a trip to Boston with a stop in New York City to see the electrical lightbulbs that Katherine had wanted to see.  She was definitely impressed by the invention, but will always prefer the softness of lamplight to the glow of a bulb.  Of all people, she will be the most reluctant to modernize their home while it’s Mulder that will marvel at the on and off switches that bring light and darkness and later, he will never get enough of the telephone, sometimes simply picking up the handset to chat with the switchboard operator in town just because he can.

Three years after Emily is born, William Abbott, known by all as Liam, will come along.  By then, Emily’s blonde hair will have turned dark, like her father’s, but she’ll keep her deep blue eyes.  Mulder will often turn and think he sees the ghost of his sister running towards him as she grows.  Liam inherits his mother’s red hair and freckles, but his father’s hazel eyes and mischievous sense of humor that keeps everyone on their toes.

Doctor Black makes Katherine an offer that Mulder tells her she’d be crazy to refuse.  He sponsors an apprenticeship for her in lieu of formal schooling and after five years time, she receives her medical certificate.  When he retires, Katherine takes over the practice and the lady doctor that drives her own carriage through town becomes the pride of the town.

Emily will follow in her mother’s footsteps in some ways, her interest in science and medicine apparent from a very young age, but her love of animals pulls her in a different direction.  She studies to become a veterinarian.  When her husband is taken in World War I, she will come back to the ranch with her own young daughter in tow, seeking the peace and comfort of her childhood.

Liam takes a keen interest in literature and tears through all the books on his mother’s bookshelf before he’s eight years of age.  His favorite thing to do is to listen to the stories his father tells, ones he can’t quite determine are real or exaggerated, but that are always about how brave and strong and magical his mother is.

“Kids,” Mulder will say as they sit on the porch.  “Did I ever tell you about the time your mother shot a panther?”

“There aren’t any panthers in Texas, Daddy,” Emily will tell him.

“That’s because they got wind of your mother’s aim and they all packed up and moved to Mexico.”

“Mulder, you weren’t even there.”  Katherine will roll her eyes when he starts his tales.

“I had gone to Fort Worth to pick up some horses and your mother stayed behind with Pappy Melvin…”

Liam will take these stories and write them down and turn them into Fawkes Publishing House’s number one bestselling children’s series of the 1920s called Amazing Kate, about a young girl living on a ranch in the Texas plains who can do anything and everything.  He marries a suffragette he meets while tending to family business in Boston. One of their sons will pen a biography of his E. M. Abbott, sending shockwaves through the literary community and winning a Pulitzer.

When the children are small, Katherine will often wonder about her sister’s and where they are and if they’ve married and if they have children of their own.  Mulder will offer time and time again to track them down, but ultimately, Katherine decides against it.  She has made her own family here and Monica and Susannah are close enough to her to feel like the sisters she lost.  Mary Katherine Scully was her past and she has put it behind her.  She is and will forever now be Kate Mulder.

The ranch is only ever moderately successful and the need for trained horses dies out with the expansion of the railroad and the popularity of the automobile.  It suits Mulder fine and they simply become a haven for abused and neglected animals.  

Ranch hands come and go.  Trevor discovers a talent for building furniture through Luke Doggett.  Mulder sponsors their talents by starting them up with a business in Fort Worth where they form a successful partnership and their furniture is sold world-wide.  Richard announces one day that he thinks it’s about time he moves on, and then he just disappears.  Jesse and Jimmy are offered positions as lead trainers in a traveling rodeo that they hesitate to accept, but Mulder tells them they’d be crazy not to take the opportunity to travel the country.  Melvin stays with them until he passes on and they bury him beneath the magnolia tree that in twenty years time, has reached an impressive height of forty feet and blooms pink at the start of every summer.  

The years go by and Mulder and Katherine will be alone on their porch sometimes, sitting side by side watching the sunset.  Mulder will reach out and Katherine will take his hand and he’ll give it a squeeze.

“Just think where we might have ended up if Faithful Jenny hadn’t thrown that shoe that day,” he’ll say to her, for maybe the hundredth time since they’ve been married.  “The day that changed my life forever.”

Katherine will roll her eyes at him, also for the hundredth time.  “Any number of things had already changed your life forever,” she’ll say.

“But, specifically, if Faithful Jenny hadn’t thrown that shoe…”

“And if you didn’t leave Massachusetts, and if your father hadn’t sent you to live with your aunt, and if your aunt never bought you that pony for your birthday…”

“So, you agree, A leads to B, leads to C, leads to Jenny throwing that shoe.”

“I think we’d still be right here on this porch.  That’s what I think.”

“Kate, are you admitting you believe in fate?”

“I’m admitting nothing.”

Mulder will smile and squeeze her hand as she twists her wedding ring around her finger with her thumb.

The End