#I love her more than anything in the world I just don't think she actually has any romantic feelings left for me...
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hey I was planning another post today but instead let’s talk about how much I love that there’s not really a ‘good’ ending to the companion plotlines in Veilguard. It reminds me of Leliana and Alistair’s plotlines in DAO in that what you choose says more about the player/protagonist than anything
I just finished Isana Negat a second time, and I did the other ending and I thought it was just as good. Like, yeah, Harding does deserve to be angry! They did fucking get everything taken away from them! It’s so painful and horrific; yes you can, and should, be mad! But also Harding prioritizing her very real love for and compassion towards other people is not wrong. It’s just different! It’s just Rook’s friend/lover asking them for advice, and Rook giving it! You know, like in real life except with huge magical rock giants
And okay I’m never going to kill Illario because I think it would make Luca really sad and he has enough problems, Whoops I misremembered this, I don’t think you can kill Illario actually. I love that for Luca <3 But yk, I’m probably still not going to imprison him. but I can see it! Because the cycle has to end, right? The violence and infighting of the Crows endlessly attacking each other over power is part of what allowed the Antaam to get a foothold in Antiva, because there was like a double agent or something (if I’m remembering right from Tev Nights). Some kind of ending needs to be made to this endless violence. And I suppose it depends on how retributive Rook is, which is a great question to ask of the player (one that is asked repeatedly throughout the game). It’s not like Illario didn’t do anything, you know! He probably deserves punishment. But Rook, as they always can at various points, can be merciful, can choose absolution. Wow no, I’m glad I was wrong I love it more like this.
And oh boy, I LOVED the ending of Emmrich’s quest, don’t even get me started! Like!! I thought it was going to be ‘well obviously we HAVE to save Manfred’, but how Emmrich talks about accepting his death and his sacrifice convinced me! I was like alright man, this is a real choice! I actually did make him a lich last time (made a lot of sense from a Watcher perspective, imo) and not only was the cutscene sick as hell, but the follow-up was so funny and I got some really sad Spite dialogue which fucking wrecked me. It was great— seriously, his plotline is one of my favorites in the whole game.
And Davrin’s! I’ve already expounded at length about how much I like his quest line and how it ties into the Grey Wardens, but I really think both of his options for the griffons are so workable, because you know the Grey Wardens, especially under Antione and Evka, aren’t going to hurt those little guys again! But also the scenes with Eldrin are so endearing, and Davrin’s hope for a brighter future for them is so sweet and genuine. It’s hard to pick! It’s about Rook's perspective!
Neve's I'll admit I don't vibe with as much just because of the like 'trust the authorities' angle, but i haven't tried saving Minrathous yet and I think it would be sooooo involving as a Shadow Dragon especially. Because that's what they're fighting for, right? That better Minrathous where they CAN be sure that if they send the insane cultist lady to prison she’s going to stay there? But there’s always the practical consideration of people’s lives being at stake NOW, of Neve needing her friends safe NOW. And just killing Aelia ensures she will never be an issue again. So I can see both angles for sure
And Taash ;-; oh, Taash. I haven’t posted about them that much yet because they make me very emotional and it’s hard to organize thoughts like that. But I really love their quest, and their struggle to define themselves. And look, I know people wanted the option to tell them they could be both, but like as a person who has lived a similar experience, it really feels sometimes like the world is making you choose. It can feel like you’re not enough of either thing for anyone. And there are parts of your identity that you will have to make a choice on, and I think it’s trying to speak to that. I did the Rivaini one, and it’s like… well, they’re embracing the culture of Rivain, but it’s not like anyone is ever going to look at them and NOT see a Qunari. You can’t get away from that. What you choose to do in response is a real dilemma and I think that if you engage with the text genuinely you can see what Trick was doing. Also, there is a really great dialogue from Rook that I think gives more context to the discussion; they can say that they have been many things, and it’s important to take what works from each experience and make it part of yourself. So I don’t think Taash’s plot is trying to make them throw away any of themselves, just defining priorities. (Sorry, that got long. Feelings, opinions about that one)
And I don’t think Bellara’s is obvious, either, especially with how they involve the Nadas Dirthalen in her personal plot. This is a thing that is really emotionally and culturally significant to her, but at the same time it is part of what hurt her brother and ultimately took him away from her. She’s really preoccupied with not causing harm by her actions; she spends the whole game worried about it! And even though Rook doesn’t see the dangerous elements of the repository, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. The puzzle quest you can find in Arlathan proves that other people besides Cyrian were taken in by Anaris. And also, there’s the plot thread they briefly touched on in the last game which is that the culture the Dalish have built, that they have RIGHT NOW, is not wrong. You can tell Solas during the romance that you want to keep the Vallaslin, even knowing what it once meant, because it means something else to the elves now. But it’s also important to remember history, even if it’s unpleasant or could be dangerous, which is another thing you can discuss with Bellara during the game. So there’s no wrong choice! It’s just about Rook and Bellara and what’s important from their perspectives.
Anyway it was super refreshing to have these kinds of choices! It reminds me of the best character choices in DAI and DAO, especially, and I’m so happy they carried those things forward and improved on them.
#datv spoilers#veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#Taash#bellara lutare#davrin#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#lace harding#emmrich volkarin
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Life Series Character Renders:
Featuring Martyn, Mumbo and Pearl
(I actually have quite a lot to say about two of these this time.)
Martyn:
Human.... ish. Hear me out on this one:
So Martyn has this fascinating background lore to the Life Series called Watcher/Eyes and Ears Lore. I'm quietly obsessed with this.
I love watching his lore streams after every series, and have come up with a few theories on my own: His thumbnails are always fully illustrated, so his character has a canon 'look' for every season, which I think is just, deeply cool.
But in his lore, there's also this space between SMPs, where the Watchers kind of... hold people until they can be used again. And since Martyn is the protagonist of the very cool story he's writing, I got it in my head that in this space between, Martyn isn't QUITE human. Maybe he was at one point.
Maybe he never was, I don't know.
But alongside all the cracks and stuff that have started to show up on his body; there's seams along the joints, and light shining within, as he starts to become more befitting as a vessel.
A vessel for what? No idea. I probably won't be drawing all those seams in any fanart comics of the series themselves - I imagine they get covered up when he's sent out into the world to interact with others in various SMPs - but I thought the idea was too cool not to draw at least once.
As a past winner, he gets his crown, and the burning eye of Mars by his name.
Mumbo:
Vampire Mumbo!
I know he doesn't have the grey streak in his life series skin but I love it too much I'm keeping it forever.
It makes him look so much more threatening and serious than he is.
Poor Mumbo. I was really rooting for you buddy. Better luck next series!
At least he still does damage with those End Crystals.
Pearl:
A lunar moth
As a winner, she gets her crown, and she gets her moon.
I'm not going to lie I want that lunar moth hoodie more than anything.
I had a lot of fun with Pearl: Her skin design is so simple (Well, maybe not this season, but usually) that it leaves so much room to interpret it. She's always going around with dogs, making her wolfish would've been really easy, but I think Moth suits her more.
There's a lot of mythology with moths being a little off kilter, mad, or leading people to madness that I think fits with Pearl's tendency to be a little bit of a loose canon, wild and unpredictable. Like a moth's flight patterns.
Red Hood Pearl had to put in an appearance here, especially with how it's sort of creeping to overtake her in Wild Life this season, and she just gets so earnestly threatening when she's on a red life despite still being all smiles and all laughs.
Unlike Gem or Cleo, I think there's an edge to Pearlie Pop on red that just reminds me of a horror monster, in the best, best, best way.
I haven't figured out heights but she's also the tallest.
#Life Series#Life Series SMP#Life Series Fanart#InTheLittleWood#ITLWArt#Martyn Fanart#PearlescentMoon#Pearlescent Moon Fanart#Mumbo Jumbo#Mumbo Fanart#My Art#Life Series Renders#Queued Post
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Shit I might want to read this, it looks cute. What is this?
I am assuming you're talking about the manga with a cute art style, the one with this trio, which I love dearly
If so, I am very sorry Anon, my blog is misleading propaganda. None of these three are the protagonists, or even sidekicks to the protagonist, they are either stuck as a gag character for half of the manga, pushed to the side, given an antagonistic role/a role that have a diferent belief from the mcs, or all of the above simultaneously.
This is not their story.
They do eventually get focus, there is a reason I have grown attached to their arcs more than the protagonist's stories, but I am aware most people do not vibe with them. Many actually hate these three. They aren't the heart of this story. If you read this manga, rest assured it won't be for them.
So let me try to give you a more accurate idea of what the story is about without any major spoilers/details.
The manga is called "Toilet Bond Hanako-kun" which is a strange mainstream translation considering "suicide boy Hanako-kun" is the more accurate one. Very different vibes between those two translations, right? That's how the manga feels too, it is a mix of strange and goofy and 'oh, shit got dark'.
The story takes place in a fantasy world where supernaturals and ghosts exist and the trio in the spotlight are these three goofballs!
The red eyed girl is our main protagonist, Yashiro Nene, she is in love with the idea of love, a true hopeless romantic!
She attracts trouble and have a wild imagination, easily getting stuck inside her own fantasies as a form to both find strength and avoid tragedies. She is an insecure but very kind soul with a lot of hope in her heart, but she is not that smart. While she does have her moments, if you dig strategy stories and logical characters this story isn't for you, it's more about whimsy and vibes.
The boy with the cap is the main lead and our titular boy "Hanako." He is a ghost, more specifically a supernatural, which are ghost whose soul got corrupted for staying in our world instead of moving on once they died. He is also the main love interest. A mischievous morally grey spirit with no self-love, no hope, and a lovely mix of being apathetic and caring too much. He is dangerous, selfish, awkward, and possessive and he hates it.
The blond one is Minamoto Kou, an exorcist who never exorcised anything, he is a kind and insecure guy, not very smart logic-wise but his emotional intelligence is surprisingly good (bad habits aside). He is selfless to the point of concern, and starts out determined to be Hanako's eternal enemy but they become besties by accident. He is desperate to help, very determined, very impulsive, very easy to trust. Horrible at being an exorcist.
The friendship between these three is very sweet. You feel like it will be a generic love triangle on their intro but no, they all care about each other. Romance may be a big thing in this manga but this trio are besties.
The humor can be hit or miss, sometimes it's so silly or dry that I love it, but sometimes it's passes my bar and becomes overly exaggerated. Some of the gags just don't land (at least to me), and if you think about the story too much, is not hard to find inconsistencies, but the main sell of this manga is character comflict, which is usually real good, and the supernaturals elements/stories which are the main events of the manga. All the supernatural stories are amazing.
I don't want to spoil the powers and rumors and tragedies but here are some 'vibes' of the supernatural elements.
It is a rollercoaster of cool ideas and vibes and creative ways to explore the wishes and fears of the characters.
A lot changes through the story, this trio won't be the main dynamic forever but it is the heart at the start, and the supernatural stuff is strong during the entire manga! So if the pros sound better than the cons, go check it out!
You can read it: here
#i have so much self control i can't believe i actually stayed focused instead of going 'let me make it about my side trio anyways'#should i tag this?#no one in the tbhk tag need a tbhk resume/propaganda/idk how to call this
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Hello friend, I think I might have mis-said some of what I meant.
Firstly, I did vote for Kamala. I sincerely wanted her to win, and for a few weeks thought she would. Then I started seeing more and more Leftists argue and bicker like they always do. Then, my hope vanished. Most Leftists who have a platform, aren't in High stakes areas where these things will hit hard and fast. Thankfully, my state grazed by the skin of our teeth as we elected Jeff Jackson as General Attorney and didn't get Mark Robinson at a governor.
Overall, I'm not saying we should tolerate hate or anything of that nature. But, we cannot deny all the data that shows the reality of the situation that men are choosing Trump because they feel more welcomed on the Right than the Left.
There's a way to grow a community where everyone feels loved and accepted, but not tolerate hate. I put a link to a man that does it very well in my comments but I'll put it here, along with two white men who have talked about their experiences with the Alt-Right/Neo-Nazi movement in America and how they escaped. Their stories of escaping are more similar than you think.
Most of my Ideology, is fueled by reports from WW2, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and most notibly Daryl Davis. A black man who has attended hundreds of KKK gatherings, and actually is responsible for turning many of those hateful racists into people who are now speaking out against hatred.
Now, I'm not saying everyone should do this. Everyone deserves to have their own assumptions and do what they wish, but I've seen his work in action. I've done what he's done. It's tiring, and it's a long process. But here's the thing.
The right is an echo chamber of ideas. There is no getting out unless you meet someone that challenges your views and expectations of the people you hate.
If we simply cut everyone off at the slightest hint of arrogance, there would be no people in the world to talk to number one, but two, these people would proceed to get even further into the pipeline and even more violent.
I was lucky enough that my viewpoints were challenged early. My brother not so much. My friend? Even less so. Did we crawl ourselves out of that hole because someone challenged our views on how the people we hated really act? Yes. That's what dragged us out. I used to hate queer people, and hide my own queerness. Now, I freely express it. All because of one selfless act.
We get so wrapped up in not wanting to interact with other people, that we forget they are people. No one deserves to hate other people just as those people don't deserve to be hated. It's exhausting and tiring on all ends of the spectrum, even more for the victim in this situation since they are receiving the violence.
My point being, we can't keep closing people off and just expecting them to get better. If you have an infection, and know you have an infection, why would you wait to see the doctor? You'd get started on the treatment right away. We need to treat these people as if they have an addiction, because these people are sick. Their minds are being fed propaganda at an alarming rate, and it's programming them into thinking and acting a certain way.
Now, absolutely punch the nazis. But tend their wound afterwards. Have conversations with them. One selfless act always inspires another, no matter who they are.
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"Leftist" Rant
I'm lowkey so tired of calling myself a leftist. Every time I talk to another person, a man, woman or nonbinary person, trans, cisgender, queer BIPOC or Indigenous, there's ALWAYS someone taking the hit for something, somewhere.
I'm a firm believer in human rights. I believe humans shouldn't be controlled by a governing body but citizens should control it. I believe in fighting today a better tomorrow. But goddamn am I so tired of hearing how every time there's something good, it comes at the cost of the blood of another.
No, not all men are bad. Not all white people are bad. No one group of people is evil, and we shouldn't be demonizing any groups of people for any reason. White people need to recognize privilege, but everyone is taught to be wary of other people because of the circumstances of our forefathers or our own personal experiences.
It comes back to the, why can't we just be fucking people? What is so hard about opening your heart to other people's struggles, learning from them and loving them even if they hate you in return? Why do we care about the color of people's skin, or their sexual/gender orientation? Why can't we celebrate life, and celebrate love no matter the form it takes? It's so aggravating. No one should have to feel uncomfortable for who they are or choose to be. I'm so tired of leftists pushing white men out for being white men. I'm so tired of leftists pushing out black people for being black, and indigenous people for being indigenous. The movement isn't supposed to be about specific people, it's supposed to be about the betterment of ALL people.
The betterment of HUMANITY. We're all fucking human. It's aggravating when people try to gauge how human you are about how many minority points you can score. I've seen the ugliest of people, I'm watching a genocide unfold before my eyes. A climate crisis that threatens to kill us all.
But what I'm hearing is the sounds of drums, because everyone either wants to use it for their own gain, or have different ways of wanting to fix it.
Maybe it's because I'm young, I'm only 21. But god, am I fucking sick and tired of hearing people fight and argue. Most of us are on the same fucking side, and can't we get along? It's the only way we are going to survive. Bridging these gaps and healing the generational trauma. But you can't heal trauma if you're constantly taking it out on everyone around you and giving them trauma. I don't know. But I do know most of the men that voted for Trump in my life, did it because they felt pushed out of the movement. They felt demonized by the Harris and leftist voters. If we focused on being intersectional, on inclusion for EVERYONE, no one would feel left out or unwanted. Shouldn't that be our fucking goal in the first place? Healing ourselves and the climate, living alongside each other in blissful harmony? Isn't that what we all want and crave? To never look over our shoulders, just be able to grow and thrive with no laws about tradition or who we are or love?
I don't know about you, but I like the sound of it.
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague “world" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't 😭#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green 😭 please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE 😭 the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
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#idk how to deal with how my relationship currently works#I love her more than anything in the world I just don't think she actually has any romantic feelings left for me...#other than just me being her best friend and family and the fact we've been together so long there just isn't much of anything else..#it just feels like there's so little to no romantic love left in our relationship and that she resents me for putting her in this position#where she cut herself off from everything back in her hometown where she came from just to pursue a relationship with me#and because I can't make her feel loved in the way she needs. in ways I used to make her feel about our relationship#and now 7 years later she feels like she's wasted the best years of her youth#with someone that she doesn't even know if she loves anymore#because all the shifts in dynamics. terrible poly relationships. my inability to not get romantically involved with her partners#which just ends up making everything very awkward and usually just ends in disaster. hurting our relationship#At this point all kinds of intimacy feels so forced that it makes it so hard to believe it's genuine intimacy and not pity or obligation#because of all the baggage in the last 7 years our BPD and rejection sensitive dysphoria makes romance and intimacy so difficult#it's so hard to look past all the failed attempts and heartache in the past when you remember it all#right now we're decided to separate romantically and she's going go look for other partners so she can learn to love again#before she'll even try to approach having a romantic relationship with me again#she's my favorite person in the world and I would do anything for her.. I just don't know how much there's left for me to do at this point.#I don't know what to do..#I don't even have anyone to talk about it because she's the only person I've talked to in the last 3 years because I'm such a shut-in#and I have literally no friends...#I just feel so fucking alone
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i have to tell you guys i’m not a skeptic anymore, i believe in ghosts now and my cousin can see dead people for real :D
#and i'm so annoying because my first thought wasn't ''omg this changes my world view immensely''#it was ''i need to find out how accurate my story is'' fjskjdsj#and the answer is... actually pretty accurate??#she says dead people don't hang out in cemeteries - they hang out with their loved ones#she also said they don't ever speak to her or even really look at her - they're in their own world#but she said there was this one woman who screamed and cried all night long so she couldn't sleep#so she did some digging and found out who the woman was - and as soon as she said the woman's name she stopped crying and chilled out#if only it were that easy for asa fjskdjjs#basically she describes them more like echoes of people than ghosts#they're not trying to fulfill some greater purpose or anything. they're just here because their family is here#anyway take this with a huge grain of salt but it's cool to think about#i bet my great grandpa is calling me slurs lmao#nonsims
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I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.
But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.
People don't like Falin
Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.
Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.
The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.
The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.
But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.
Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.
Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.
Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"
And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!
Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.
In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden#yes dungeon meshi is a story about the neurodivergent experience (and many many other things)#but through that lens it is also basically autistic wishfullfillment#where people come to see and appreciate you for who you are and your specific special interest is tantamount to saving the world!#and so OF COURSE the two most obviously autistic characters are going to have people who deeply care about them#both despite and because of their autistic traits!!
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saw a bitch that was even more annoying than me about the same guy and now i feel a lot better but also angry bc i clearly need to get more annoying and obnoxious about this shit
#her fucking byf and dni were like 'i think i love him most in the world' and 'don't follow if you don't think he's mine' like bitch#would you be willing to die to prove it!! because i'm more than willing to scratch some eyes out... and other violent things etc etc#this was on twt and she didn't speak english and obv i'm not gonna actually fight this girl on anything she's clearly just as insane as me#but that doesn't mean she can just sayyyyy she loves him more 🙄🙄🙄 there was a little uh... 6 year lapse there but#i'm not gonna be in a competition with a loser who says shit like i used to say when i was 17#but i assure you. i would win regardless
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Task force 141 reacting to their very pregnant wife still trying to clean, cook etc
This turned more into ‘Task force 141 preventing their very pregnant wife from trying to clean, cook, etc’ lmaooooo I hope that's alright
Price
HA! Good one!
No seriously, it's actually hilarious that you think you'd do anything for yourself when your hubby's around
That man has been waiting on you hand and foot since you first got together. So now that you're pregnant and you think he'd let you so much as lift a finger? You must have a serious case of pregnancy brain, sweetheart
Price is doing all the cooking, the cleaning, the running errands, etc. throughout the entirety of your pregnancy (and at least the first several months postpartum)
He's kept you practically bed bound these last few months to the point where you think there's a perfect indent of your body molded into the mattress
Seven months in, he's suddenly called away to a quick mission halfway across the globe, and you think finally you'll get some of your autonomy back...
Well, think again because who should show up at your door the next morning than your mother-in-law herself, ready to pick up where her son left off
She came at the behest of your husband, of course, and was armed with a detailed set of care instructions
What does your husband think you are? Some sort of one-of-a-kind, priceless artifact that needs special handling? (Actually that's exactly what you are. Price-less… I'll see myself out 🚶🏻♀️)
Ghost
When it comes to having some semblance of independence during your pregnancy, Ghost will give you a bit of a longer leash than Price, but only just so
You’re going for a walk around the neighborhood? Hold on, let him grab his coat to join you. Or you're going into the backyard to tend the garden? He'll pull the weeds while you water the plants
But when it comes to letting you do certain things, there are some hard nos that he will absolutely not budge on
You try to use a stepladder to reach the top of the cupboard? Stop! You'll break your neck! You try to pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds? Stop! Give it here! You try to drive?... Don't even fuckin' think about it, precious.
The farther along your pregnancy progresses, the better he gets at predicting (and intercepting) your next move
You were gonna do laundry today? Well, wouldn't you know, he's already got a load going in the washer. You were about to make dinner? Well shucks, he just ordered takeaway from that Greek place you love
His ability to read your mind is honestly impressive once you get past how damn annoying you find it. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you're incapable of fending for yourself, and you're tired of him acting as if otherwise
But really, you can never get mad at anything he does for you. After all, what kind of a husband would he be if he didn't take care of his missus and your little one?
Soap
If you take Ghost’s cautiousness, mix it with Price’s thoroughness, and crank it up to an 11, you get Soap
From the moment he found out you were pregnant, he put your house into full lockdown mode, stopping just short of booby trapping the front door in case you got any funny ideas
You want some fresh air? Just open a window. You want to go for a walk and stretch your legs? Just take a few turns about the living room like you're some Austenian heroine
Don't let him catch you doing any kind of physical labor, because so help him Jesus he will grab a spray bottle and use it like you're a feral alleycat he's trying to house-train (he wouldn't really... but don't test him)
You try to unload the dishwasher? Ehrr! Wrong move. You try to remake the bed? Ehrr! Nice try. You try to mop up your own mess. Ehrr! Enough already. You try to– OCH, WOULD YE BLOODY SIT DOWN, WOMAN?!
For nine long months during his requested leave from work, your husband is attached to you like some kind of loving, smothering barnacle
But doesn't he miss his job, or the lads for that matter? What if the world needs saving? What will they do without him?
Well, (in his exact words) fuck the rest of the world! You're his world, bonnie, and he'll give you everything you could ever wish for and then some
Gaz
By far, you have the most independence with Gaz than you would with any of the other three men… at least, at the beginning of your pregnancy, that is
Once you get to around five or six months he becomes just as helicopter-y as all the others; he's just ever so slightly more bearable, perhaps
There's lots of peeking his head around the corner to check on you throughout the day or appearing seemingly out of thin air whenever you're doing something he'd rather you wouldn't
You've lost count of the number of times you've been in the middle of cooking or hanging up the laundry or whatever and his hand has suddenly appeared out of nowhere, gently taking the object from you before directing you to sit and rest
And like, look. He knows you can handle yourself. He knows you could conquer the whole world if you wanted to. That's one of the things he loves about you the most
But seeing you like this – so fragile, so vulnerable, so beautiful and soft and pregnant with his child; his child – it just… It makes him…
He just needs to do these things for you, alright, love? Just let him take care of you, please? Would you let him do that?
You already have so much you have to carry. Let him ease some of the burden off your shoulders. Let him do these small things for you because they don't even compare to all that you're doing for him 🥲
#wiw asks#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#john mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#john price#simon riley#john mactavish#kyle garrick#tf 141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#cod x reader#cod mw3#call of duty#modern warfare 3#female reader
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Okay I think I'm ready to write the second part of this post about Milsiril
To make it easier for me I'll just divide this into her relationship with Kabru, Mithrun and Helki (her ex-canary prisoner teammate)
First about Kabru
This is an extra from the daydream hour 5. The caption says "Something like this might as well have happened" so its probably not canon but could be. I honestly think his reaction to Milsiril visiting and being overbearing says a lot about the type of relantionship they have. This is the fakest bitch in the whole of dungeon meshi, he never says what he trully thinks unless there's an advantage to doing so, he's a people pleaser that does and says anything to make people like/trust him. And yet he immediatly converts into "Mooooooom you're embarassing meeeeee" when he sees it's Milsiril.
This translation used "Mom" but as I understand the original he uses the more formal version so I think it would be closer to "Mother" but still he acknowleges her as his Mother, and he acts like her kid in every interaction we see between them.
I really don't understand where the idea that he learned to be fake from being "forced" to be her adoptive son comes from.
(Continuing under a cut)
The other interaction we see between them is the Kabru extra from the Adventurer's Bible
Kabru comes to her with a deep fear he clearly has had even before she adopted him, he trusted her with this fear and she did not disappoint him, she comforted him and then gave him the information he needed to believe what she was saying
I'd also like to point out in no moment she discouraged him from calling his his bio-mom "Mom". He also says she taught her children everything they asked
I doubt this would only be true for him, it also mirrors something she said in the manga
"You can go ahead and learn all you want about something else." I believe it when Kabru says she made every effort to answer her children's questions. I think this is also the way she expresses the love she has for them. Plus I love the thought bubble with Kabru mirroring what he learned from her. I also love this daydream hour, she sacrifices her own comfort to do something for Kabru.
Milsiril isn't a perfect mother tho, besides the fact she is overprotective she comes from a very different culture from her children. I like to call her Kabru's white mom cause I think that would be the real world equivalent. This extra is the one I think the most about showing this context perfectly
Kabru wants to share Utaya sweets but looks at his mom looking gloomy/rejected so he talks about fruitcake instead. This very rude for Milsiril to do since she's kinda trying to overwrite his actual cultural background, but I think its done more as a "I want you to like the things I like" rather than something nefarious, and once again Kabru doesn't hide at all his distaste for it, he does the bare minimum to please his mom since she's being dramatic but he doesn't lie to her, he shows how displeased he is about fruitcake, something he refuses to do when eating the harpy omelette that is way worse, because he must make a good impression for Laios. Kabru is honest with his overbearing white mom once again.
Now a little about Rin, from Kabru's context, this is her extra in the Adventurer's Bible
(look at Helki he's such a gremlin i love him) anyway, Rin has a trauma about elves, they really mistreated her so she hates them, but when they notice she isn't thriving they go to Milsiril for help (Helki specifically I'll talk more about him next). I think this indicates she really has a better understanding of short lived kids, her kids are thriving differently from the ones the other elves try to care for. I'd also like to remember she lives secluded from other elves so while Kabru probably had lots of interactions with elves during his life, most of it was probably spent with Milsiril and her other adoptive kids. She also asks Kabru if he would do this to help Rin, he isn't being forced or anything, I also think it's good that Milsiril knows she cant take in any more kids, this to me shows she's worried about the quality of life her kids have. That is all to say, Rin is the one with elf trauma, not Kabru, because Kabru had Milsiril to shelter him from them.
Helki
This will be short and sweet since there's barely anything about Helki, he's her prisioner companion from her time in the canaries, but he was pardoned after Utaya, it says so in the Canarie's Structure page in the new adventurer's guide but I cant really find it translated again... so here's google's machine translation (I remember it saying "Retired and pardoned as a reward after Utaya", something like that)
so officially he isn't a prisoner anymore, but I think he still works as a canary, even so he and Milsiril seem quite close, he is the one to go talk to her about Rin, He is there when she's training Kabru (both laughing at Kabru and then participating). I saw people theorizing she stays close to him because he is also someone who she can feel superior to, but I don't believe it at all, he's STILL in contact with her even after they have nothing to with each other, I think they really have a friendship, and there's no point where it seems like she feels like she's better than him or that he's less than her, people seem to interpret Milsiril and her relationships in the worst possible ways every time and I don't understand why.
This segways into Mithrun
I've also seen people assuming she only got close to Mithrun because now he needs her and has no power over her, once again with the theory that Milsiril surrounds herself with people she can feel superior to. But once again, Milsiril had a change of perspective about Mithrun after seeing his Dungeon
Rather than she feeling superior to him I think rather she realized he was just like her. (And I think she's friends with Helki for a similar reason, it's probably easier to see him as an equal than other nobles)
I've also seen this part used as proof of that. "He said that you've got suspicious ulterior motives and that I shouldn't listen to you" as if that's true, but this is past Mithrun, the one that didn't trust anyone and thought ill of all his teammates, ofc he doesn't believe someone would help him without an ulterior motive. This doesn't prove much about her real motivations.
Also before she showed up, Mithrun was being cared for by servants hired by his brother, he isn't someone helpless she has power over, he is still a member of an important Noble family that has a caring brother providing for him, he can do without Milsiril, he had done without her for 20 years before Utaya happened and she quit the Canaries.
This is all to say I think Milsiril is just a white(elf) adoptive mom doing her best, I don't see much of anything nefarious about her or her motivations, she is flawed as all the dunmeshi characters are, she isn't a perfect mom, she isn't an evil mom, she's just a person.
Elves in general also see short lived species as "children" so I imagine this makes her "You'll always be my baby" attitude way worse, she really treats pre-teen/teen Kabru like he's a toddler sometimes. But she also respected him enough to go all out in training him. I think they're a family with everything that entails.
PS: I didn't get much into Interracial adoption since this is something that happens irl too and I don't know much about all the issues that entails, but in the end, in this case, it seems like a net positive for the kids she adopts considering all we see about how she raised Kabru.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Milsiril#Mithrun#Kabru#The Canaries#part 2 of 2#longpost#long post#Kabru of Utaya#Helki#dunmeshi thoughts#Dunmeshi Extra
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༺✩༻ Taking what's not yours
theodore nott x fem!reader
wc. 1.5k
summary: in which reader has a bad habit of taking her boyfriend's things.
tw. reader is a Gryffindor, some italien pet names
a/n. I genuinely have no idea how far from the Gryffindor common room the astronomy tower is soooo….
“Where in the world are you going at this hour?” You turn around, bag over your shoulder and a blanket in hand. Ron, Harry and Hermione are sitting around a table in the common room, Harry is looking at you clearly confused, eyes darting between you and blanket. “I'm going to the astronomy tower, I've got to finish up my star map for Trelawney.” Ron raises his head, looking at you as if the prospect of actually taking Trelawney’s homeworks seriously – which you had to do since you cannot bullshit your way through a star map – was unfathomable.
“We don't need to go to the astronomy tower for that homework?” Narrowing your eyes at Ron, you deadpan. “The homework is to draw a star map, meaning you have to see the stars Ronald. Unlike you two I won't settle for less than an A.” Harry snorts at that, clearly not caring one bit about said homework. He smiles at you, eyeing your blanket. “Where did you get that blanket from? I don't think I’ve ever seen this one before.” You glance at said blanket, the soft, fuzzy fabric already warming up your hand. “It’s – You knit your eyebrows, trying to come up with something. – it's kind of old so I don't use it much? Yeah that's why I’ve never seen it before.” You add more confidently. Hermione looks up from her own work, offering you a tired smile. “I think it's great that you’re putting in the work.” She glares at the two boys at that – while Hermione still thought that the study of divination was absolutely ridiculous, she didn't like how easily Harry and Ron would fake their way through their work (usually by predicting their own death) – You roll your eyes, heading towards the portrait. “I'll see you guys later!” You exit the common room, and start making your way to the astronomy tower.
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Okay, maybe you should have brought something warmer. You’re currently freezing your ass off in the astronomy tower, your divination homework already done, sitting on your laps, forgotten. Trying to concentrate on anything but the biting cold brought by the late october night, your ears fail to pick up the sound of footsteps. You snap your head towards the stairs, the sound of someone tripping and cursing bringing you back to reality. You get up as a figure appears. “Theo!” You smile and run up to him, finding comfort – and warmth – in his embrace. Your nose is filled with the smell of his cologne. “I'm sorry I'm late Bella, Draco and Mattheo keep asking me for help with the Arithmetic homeworks.” He apologizes, deep voice softer than usual, a tone he only uses with you. You leave his embrace, just enough to get a look at his face. The moonlight illuminating his features, green eyes, staring at you lovingly. His gaze travels from your face to the rest of your body. He smiles, taking in the blanket on your shoulder. “I was looking for that.” He says, his finger grazing the soft fabric of the blanket. You smile letting out a soft laugh. “Yeah Harry was wondering where I got it from.” “Cara mia you need to be more cautious, you did the same thing last week with my sweater. At this rate, your friends will soon find out about us.” As much as you loved your friends, you couldn't bring yourself to tell them about you and Theo. You simply couldn't tell Harry and Ron since they are convinced every single Slythrin are pure evil and with Hermione, – who you knew would be the most understanding – you had tried, only for her to tell you Draco had called her a mudblood yet again on the day you had planned to tell her. Theo’s hand finds your face, finger softly grazing your cheek. “Are you alright?” You nod, silently pulling his hand to sit down.
He sits down beside you, one arm around your waist, the other inside his pocket due to the biting cold. Man, I wish I had pockets right now. You flex your fingers, desperately trying to warm them up, when an idea pops into your head. You discreetly stuff your hands in Theo’s pocket, cuddling further into him. Theo raises an eyebrow as you shove your hands in his pockets. “What are you doing, trying to steal my pockets now?” He teases, you send him a scandalized look, a smile teasing the corner of your lips. “Stealing???! I’ll have you know I am simply borrowing it, since I’m cold!” Theo smiles, looking up at the sky. “Semantics… – he pauses and looks at you – So what are you gonna steal from me next? You’ve already got my heart, my blanket, my pocket… what's next on the list.” “Your family name.” Theo’s eyes widened a bit, clearly caught off guard by your answer. He quickly regained his composure, a smirk on his face. “I’ll be happy to oblige when we graduate cara mia.” You smile and he leans in, your lips meeting in a tender kiss, gentle and sweet, like the first snowfall of winter. Pulling away, you rest your head against his shoulder, content to spend some time with your boyfriend. Suddenly, Theo's head snapped to the side. You raise your head to look at him confused when he puts a finger over his lips. There. It's unmistakable; someone is coming up the stairs to the astronomy tower. Your eyes widen and you look at Theo, panicked. Could it be Filch? Or maybe a student? He silently gestures for you to get up and follow him. The both of you somehow manage to make it down, only to find Filch and Norris, blocking the very staircase leading to the Gryffindor common room. You turn to Theo who's been surveying the staircase, as if staring would make Filch leave faster. “What do we do, it's already late.” Theo’s eyes meet yours. “You could come to the Slytherin common room with me.” You open your mouth to protest but he stops you. “I’ve got my own room. You can sleep with me tonight and tomorrow I'll sneak you out early.” Thinking about it for a bit you nod – while you were still anxious about the whole thing there was absolutely no way in hell you’d pass up the opportunity to sleep with your boyfriend. – “Okay fine, let's go.”
Theeo’s room is exactly how you imagined it would be. Chaotic but at the same time organized, papers and discarded cups of coffee on his desk and stacks of books next to his bed. You remove your Gryffindor robes in favor of one of Theo’s t-shirts and slide beneath the soft, warm sheets. You sigh as Theo lays down behind you, his arm finding your waist. He places a kiss on the crown of your hair whispering a small good night.
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You wake up a few hours later. It's been a while since you’ve slept that well. You hear Theo shift behind you, his hand lazily draped over your waist. Letting out a deep breath, you shift your head slightly looking at the clock next to the bed. 8:35…. 8:35???!!!!! You bolted upright, the realization hitting like a bucket of ice water. You were late. Very late. “THEO, THEO WAKE UP!!!!” Theo let out a groan, shielding his eyes from the sun peaking through the curtains. You get out of bed, looking for your uniform. You enter the bathroom, quickly wash your face. Going back in the room, you rummage through your bag trying to find your mascara, concealer and some lip gloss, hoping none of your friends would question where you had spent the night. You glance at the bed where Theo is still half asleep. He opens his eyes a bit, just enough to look at you. “Cara mia what's going on?” “Theo, my love, it's currently – you look at the clock – 8:40, we are VERY late.” Theo’s eyes snap open. “WHAT.” He turns towards the clock, and groans, scrambling out of bed. He almost trips in his haste, putting on his pants and shirt. The both of you somehow manage to leave the Slytherin common room without being seen by anyone. Reaching the Great Hall, you give Theo a quick peck on the cheek, walking a little faster not to seem suspicious. You quickly make your way to the Gryffindor table, sitting next to Ron. Hermione looks up, smiling. She opens her mouth, eyes darting to your neck. You hold up a hand “Yes yes I know, I’m late, I’m sorry,” You grab a piece of toast, and serve yourself a cup of coffee, throwing a discreet glance at Theo, who’s currently talking with Draco. You make eye contact and his eyes linger on your neckline, he smirks and turns back to his conversation. You narrow your eyes, wondering what that was about. “Y/n?” You start buttering your toast. “Yes Hermione?” “Care to explain why in the name of Merlin you are wearing a Slytherin tie?”
#༺✩༻ravenwrites#harry potter x reader#hp fanfcition#hp fanfic#harry potter fanfic#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x you#theodore nott fluff#theodore nott x reader#slytherin boys x you#slytherin x reader
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On Tommy Kinard
"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"
*clears throat*
Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.
He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.
He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.
He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.
He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)
He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.
He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.
His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.
He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.
He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.
He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.
He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.
He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.
He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.
He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.
He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.
He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.
He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.
He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.
He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.
He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.
He does NOT take his coffee like that.
Oh and
He's a beast.
This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.
And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).
In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.
As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.
Got that off my chest, whew.
#9-1-1#evan buckley#bucktommy#911#tevan#kinley#tommy kinard#9-1-1 meta#9-1-1 shipping#fandom discourse#firepilot#trying to use all the ship tags we have#buck x tommy
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imperfect for you (joel miller x f!reader)
masterlist | a/n written for @janaispunk's 1500 kisses challenge! i got joel + nose kisses with this lovely moodboard and actually managed to write something!!! believe it or not this started out as a drabble lmao. i hope you like it jana - sorry it's a bit late, and congrats again on your milestone 🤍 summary: you never thought joel miller would accidentally call you baby. warnings: age gap (joel is mid 40s, reader is 23), fluff, very brief instance of blood, tending to a wound, joel is eepy, soft kisses, cuddles word count: 5.5k ao3 dividers by @saradika-graphics
"When's the last time you slept?"
He doesn't bother to grace you with an answer, hands clenched on the steering wheel as you barrel down the vacant stretch of highway back to Lincoln. He's been ignoring you for the past fifteen minutes now, eyes straight ahead, brow furrowed, jaw clenched. But he looks pale, almost sickly, the whites of his knuckles stark against the sudden greenish hue of his skin. The last thing you need is for him to pass out and for the two of you to crash into a damn ditch.
"I'm just saying," you continue with an exasperated sigh, "I could drive the rest of the way, we're almost there."
No reply. You roll your eyes and cross your arms indignantly in the passenger seat, returning his icy demeanor. He's in one of his moods again, the ones only Tess really knows how to handle, but you'd volunteered to try your hand at a supply run in her stead which means she's not here to mediate. You should've known some issue would arise, stubborn Joel inventing problems in typical Joel fashion.
"You could've tried to last at least one more hour pretending to like me," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear. He doesn't say anything.
Almost a year of working with them now, and you still don't understand him. You're not sure you ever will. Tess, she's much easier to understand, much more open to being understood. She'd seen your potential and taken you under her wing, brought you in to help, taught you everything you needed to know about smuggling. And Joel... well, he's a different story.
"You know, Tess thinks I have promise," you continue anyway, expression crumpling into a scowl, "She thinks I can do this. I don't get why you don't."
No answer.
"And don't say it's 'cause I'm a kid, because I'm not. I'm twenty three now, I'm past the point of being called a fucking kid. The shit I've seen in that QZ-" you cut yourself off, shaking your head, "I'm not a kid."
His lack of response is beginning to hurt deeper than you'd really like to admit. You glance over at him again; he's still staring straight ahead, still ignoring your presence. It makes unwanted tears prick in your eyes, nose stinging a little as you peer down at your lap and fold your hands together.
You'd been excited for this supply run, probably against your better judgement. You'd wanted to show him how much you know and understand, how hard you've been working, how you're up to the task. Hoped maybe he'd give you a smile - rare, but not impossible - and tell you that you did good, that he sees potential in you too.
You care what he thinks, almost more than what Tess thinks. And you know why, can sense it deep in the pit of your stomach and in the way your heart stutters when he looks at you, but you're clearly living in a fantasy world if you think he's ever gonna get past whatever this stigma is that he has against your age. She's too young, Tess. She'll get hurt, Tess. She shouldn't be doin' this, Tess. You've heard it all, muffled through closed doors in a dark and damp hallway.
He doesn't want you, and you're not sure how much longer you can go on like this. If he's not willing to change his stance, view you as anything other than an inconvenience...maybe Tess will have to find somebody else to help out.
"I know what I'm doing," you mumble, a tear dribbling down your left cheek, "I just wanna help."
You spare him one more look, fruitlessly hoping that maybe he'll feel bad now that he's made you cry - a childish thought, considering you're trying to make a case for being mature, but you can't help it. You know he's capable of being gentle, of being kind. You've experienced it with him before, quiet moments between the two of you in his apartment while waiting for Tess to return, making small talk, him peering at you with a softness in those brown eyes that have since made frequent appearances in your dreams. Moments where you swear you felt wanted under that gaze, but it must've been in your head, because you certainly don't feel wanted right now.
He doesn't look well, you have to admit. His skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, getting paler by the second, turning an unnatural grey color akin to some of the hair on his head. His eyes are glassy, dark bags settled beneath them that you've noticed getting worse and worse over the past few weeks. You shoot a glance at his hands again and are surprised to see that he's loosened his grip, that his fingers seem to be trembling against the rubber.
"Joel," you say, raising your voice a bit, "Joel, are you okay?"
His lack of response no longer angers you - it worries you. Carefully, you reach over and slowly wrap your hand around his right wrist, eyes trained on his face. At your touch, he finally turns to look at you, almost like he's only just noticed you're even there.
"You say somethin'?" he asks, voice raspy, a bit slurred.
Your grip tightens on his wrist, "I think you should stop the car."
He looks at you curiously, dazedly. It's the expression of a man who's running on two, maybe three hours of sleep in the last few days. You choose your next words carefully, eyes flickering back and forth toward his face and the road that he's suddenly no longer watching.
"Let's slow down a bit," you murmur, thumb stroking gently along his skin - he's warm, warmer than normal - "I'm gonna drive the rest of the way, okay?"
You expect some pushback, an attempt at an argument, but the tiredness is setting in quickly. Without any hesitation he eases his foot off the gas and you hurriedly reach your own leg over into his space to push down on the brake. He doesn't seem to notice the way your bare leg brushes his jeans, the crease in your knee bending over the warmth of his thigh.
"There we go," you say softly, bringing the car to a slow stop. He's still looking at you, eyes unfocused as you carefully lean over a little more to unbuckle his seatbelt. You try to ignore how good he smells, how big he is compared to you, putting all your attention on getting him out of the front seat. You unlock his door and then unbuckle your own belt, hurrying out of the car to his side.
"M'okay," he mumbles as soon as you open his door. You start to help him out, and you think he's becoming a little more aware of the situation now, allowing you to pull him to his feet as you tug open the back door. "What's happenin'?"
"You're just tired," you tell him softly, "It's okay, you can sleep in the back, I'll drive."
"Bill n' Frank's," he says as you lead him the right way, pushing him a little and helping him place his knee down on the seat, "Y'know where it is? You remember?"
"I do," you tell him confidently, your hand coming down to press flat against his back - he's so solid, heat radiating against your palm, "Only twenty minutes away now, I got it. You just sleep."
He doesn't argue; in fact, he makes your job easier by crawling onto the seat and settling down with a low groan, rolling onto his back and breathing deeply. You can't help but let a small smile cross your features, watching as one of his hands comes up to rest atop his belly, the other dangling onto the floor. His eyelashes flutter a little, lips parting, and you're about to shut the door when he speaks again.
"I know you jus' wanna help, baby."
You stand there for a moment just staring at him, confusion racing through your thoughts. Goosebumps rise on your flesh as the last word repeats like a mantra in your head, steady and slow as Joel drifts off. It's only when the door is shut and you're in the front seat that you're able to put some meaning to the words, eyes wide as you stare at the faded lines on the road.
I know what I'm doing, you'd said, I just wanna help.
You leave him in the car when you get to Bill and Frank's, typing in the gate code with a backward glance at his loose form in the backseat. They must see him on one of the security monitors, because as soon as the doors open you spot them sprinting out of the house toward you, a scanner gripped in Bill's hand. Typical.
"He's okay," you tell them as soon as you're out of the car, instantly alleviating their stress, "He's just exhausted, I think he needs to sleep for a little while."
"Understatement of the century," Frank replies with a relieved laugh, eyeing the backseat, "Think we can get him in the house?"
"Just leave him in the car," Bill says with a wave of his hand, already turning to head back towards the house with the scanner hanging out of his pocket, "He'll be fine."
Your gaze meets Frank's and he rolls his eyes, "Come on, baby, let's get him upstairs." Your brows go up at the pet name, the same word that had fallen from Joel's lips only twenty minutes ago, but then Bill is shuffling back over with an annoyed look on his face and you quickly realize he's not talking to you.
Getting Joel out of the car proves to be a lot more difficult than getting him in. You try a gentle approach at first, brushing his arm and stroking his skin with your thumb again like you'd done earlier. You can feel Frank's eyes on you as you squeeze Joel's bicep, his wrist, his thigh, and you pretend you don't see the look that passes between him and Bill as you step out to let them take a turn.
Bill goes for a much more aggressive approach, shaking Joel's shoulders wildly and practically yanking him out of the car. Understandably, Joel wakes with a gasp and kicks his legs out, hand reaching for his pistol as he frantically tries to escape Bill's grasp. Before he can grab it though, he's suddenly falling forward, knees buckling as he faceplants onto the pavement beside the car.
Well, that certainly wakes him up. His hands press into the gravel and his head shoots up, blood trickling down his nose as he peers up at the three of you, stunned.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Bill," Frank groans.
"That was not my fault."
Ignoring them, you kneel down and gently touch Joel's shoulder, a concerned look on your face as you eye the splattered blood on the ground, "Fuck, are you okay?"
"What in the hell is goin' on?" he groans, turning to look at you, "Did Bill just break my fuckin' nose?"
"Don't be dramatic," Bill barks, spinning on the spot and heading into the house, "Shoulda just left you in the car."
Joel starts scrambling after him, rising up and standing on wobbly legs, hand reaching for his pistol once again. You and Frank grab him before he can do anything, both of you taking an arm and holding him back.
"Joel, you're exhausted," you tell him quickly, utilizing all your strength, "You just need to lay down. Please."
He turns his face to look at you and something flutters in your chest when you catch the way his eyes soften, the anger in his expression fading as he acknowledges your presence. You can vaguely make out Frank watching the two of you in your periphery, but you try your best to ignore it, instead opting to give Joel a reassuring smile.
"Let's just get you cleaned up, okay?"
You're grateful that Frank leaves you alone with Joel to tend to his nose. You've only met him a handful of times, but each time he'd somehow been able to clock the way you interact with Joel, the way you look at him. The last time you'd been here he'd subtly pulled you aside to give you a few words of wisdom.
"You do realize he's extremely unavailable, right?"
"I- I don't know what you're talking about."
He'd smiled, tapped his nose and given you a knowing look, "And I don't just mean because of Tess. That man is emotionally constipated, kiddo. He's an island." He'd laughed then at your confused expression, shaking his head, "Just be careful, s'all I'm saying."
You'd gone to walk away, forget the conversation even happened, when he'd softly called after you:
"And I'm pretty sure Tess would hang your head on her wall."
You think of those words now as you stand in front of Joel in the small bathroom off the landing, lip between your teeth as you eye the cut on his nose. It isn't broken, thank fuck, but you can see some dirt and gravel in there that you need to clean out.
"It's not broken," you tell him softly. He's sitting on the edge of the bath tub, peering up at you with a much more alert expression. The fall definitely woke him up, not to mention the choice words he and Bill had thrown at each other as you and Frank helped him up the stairs. He's still exhausted though, and he needs to rest.
"I know it's not," he grumbles, "Just wanted to give Bill a piece of my mind for once."
You laugh softly as you reach for the damp cloth beside you, bringing it up to carefully pat it against the gash on the bridge of his nose. You can feel his eyes on you, watching and assessing as you do your best to wipe the area clean.
"I can do that myself," he murmurs.
"I just wanna help," you say quietly, and your eyes fall to his in a knowing glance. He doesn't seem to remember though, just nods and lets you carry on.
It's rare for you to be this alone with him. And by that, you mean this far from Tess. You're painfully aware that it would be impossible for her to walk in at any moment, to see the way you're standing over him, touching him. Frank's words from last time echo in your head but you're not quite sure you believe them; would she really be that angry if she knew how you felt about Joel? It's not like he'd return it, right? The man is twenty years your senior and, as Frank said, extremely unavailable. Not to mention Tess and Joel's relationship has been a point of confusion to you for a year now, still unsure exactly what they are to each other - would she really care?
You reach for the antiseptic - one of the many perks of having an injury in a supply house - and carefully dab some onto the cloth. Your hand trembles a bit as you reach up to carefully hold Joel's chin, your thumb getting lost in his greying beard.
"You haven't shaved in a while," you breathe, your eyes meeting his, and you wonder if you've already crossed a line by even noticing.
He doesn't seem to mind though, sighing deeply, "I haven't slept in a while, so let's hurry this up," he eyes the cloth, "Don't gotta warn me, just do it."
His words bring you back to the present, and you slowly ease the cloth down onto his cut. He hisses a bit, a normal reaction, but it only takes a few seconds to clean and then you're already reaching for a bandage, reluctantly letting go of his chin.
"I was worried about you, before. In the car," you tell him softly, unpeeling the adhesive, "Why haven't you been sleeping?"
His eyes fall to the floor, "I just don't sleep good. Never have."
"Is there anything I can do?"
He shrugs, gives you a humorless laugh, "Handful o' pills and a couple sips o' whiskey usually does the trick."
It makes sense, then, why these past few weeks he's seemed worse. It's been longer than usual since your last supply run and the three of you had started running out of vital supplies over a week ago now, not only for buyers but for yourselves. Joel had written whiskey near the top of the latter list, along with hydromorphone which he'd underlined several times.
"You should've told me you weren't feeling well," you murmur, applying the bandage carefully, "I could've driven the whole way."
"Could've, should've," he dismisses you with a grunt, "Doesn't matter now, does it? We got here, that's what counts."
You linger a little longer than you should on the bandage, thumb falling to gently trace the crease of his nose as you assess your work. It might scar, but it feels pointless to voice this - he already has so many, scattered across his face and neck like confetti. It hurts a little, knowing he's been through so much, seeing the evidence written all over him.
"My mom had this superstition," you tell him softly, a smile playing at your lips as you trace one of the scars under his eye, soft and delicate, "Whenever I got hurt, skinned my knee or busted my elbow playing, she'd bandage me up and then kiss it. She said a kiss would seal her love in there, keep me safe and protected. And if it scarred, that meant it worked."
He blinks at you, expression faltering a bit, "That's...that's a nice thought."
You shake your head, "It's silly, and not true. But... but I still do it anyway, even though she's gone. Just in case," you bite your lip, "I mean, who doesn't wanna feel a little more safe? A little more protected?"
Your gazes lock, and neither of you seem to move, caught in the stillness of the moment and the way your thumb is still stroking his face. You know you have limited time, maybe a few seconds before he breaks it, so without much thought at all you lean down and lightly press your lips to the bandage, eyes closed.
He inhales sharply, a sound that triggers butterflies in your tummy as you hold your mouth against his nose, soft and sweet. It's the closest you've ever been to him, even if you're kissing gauze and not skin - you can still feel the warmth radiating from him, sense the way he freezes below you. A squeaking sound pierces the silence, his hand squeezing the edge of the bath tub tightly. It startles you, your eyes blinking open as you pull back to look at him.
His cheeks are tinged pink, eyelids heavy as he peers up at you with slow blinks.
"You're tired," you breathe, unable to stop your hand from flitting to his hair, pushing a little behind his ear, "Let's get you to bed."
The Joel Miller in Bill and Frank's guest room is not the Joel Miller you thought you knew.
This Joel is loose, pliant. He lets you lead him into the bedroom with a hand on his back, lets you carefully turn him on the spot to reach up and undo the buttons on his flannel. Frank had told you on your way up to make sure Joel didn't get blood on the sheets, so you're only following orders, only doing what you were told.
"Sorry," you murmur softly, fingers shaking every so often as they toy with the buttons, sticky with his blood. Joel doesn't seem to notice though, retreating more and more into the sleepy state he'd been in earlier.
Once his flannel is off you assess his t-shirt and jeans, and you're not sure how to feel about the fact that they didn't get dirty in the fall. On the other hand, though, you're not sure you'd have been brave enough to take them off. Instead you help him toward the bed, pull back the sheets and carefully push him ahead.
"There you go," you whisper, helping him under the covers and pulling the blankets back over him. The sun is streaming through the window, casting the golden light of early evening across the bed, and while it's quite beautiful you shut the curtains anyway, knowing he'll sleep better in darkness. When you turn back around, he's already fallen asleep, lips parted, face peaceful. A different man.
You don't linger, even though you want to.
It's around ten o'clock when you decide to check on him again. You'd watched a movie with Bill and Frank, feeling more than a little unwelcome as Bill tossed you a few dirty looks every so often, though Frank repeatedly told you to ignore him. Now they're in bed downstairs while you pad from your own room across the hall to Joel's, turning the knob carefully. The hinges squeak a little as you open it and you wince.
"Who's there?" you hear Joel grumble from the bed. So much for just taking a peek.
"Me, just me." You push the door wider and walk inside, eyebrows going up when Joel turns on the bedside lamp. He seems a little more rested, although you know he still needs a full night's sleep. "I sent a message to Tess through the radio to let her know we're not coming back tonight - well, Frank did. Picked a song called Tomorrow or something like that."
"Hope it was the Johnny Mathis version," he mumbles, and you watch as he brings his hands up to rub across his face. He accidentally dismantles the bandage and you step forward without really thinking, hurrying to his side and reaching down to fix it.
His hand comes up to grab yours and you freeze in place.
"I can do it," he says, giving you a curt look and then releasing your hand to adjust the gauze himself.
Well, you suppose lax and sleepy Joel couldn't stick around forever. You stand awkwardly by the side of the bed, toying with the edge of the blanket as he rubs his eyes and sits up a little, leaning back against the headboard. He looks so much older in this light; you can see the little flecks of grey in his beard and hair that have been starting to get more noticeable lately, the crows feet, the wrinkles.
He's so handsome.
He turns to look at you with a frown, as if he's only just realizing what you said, "We can go back tonight, I'm fine."
"You're not and you know it. Besides, it's already past ten and now I'm tired, I won't be able to drive."
"I can drive."
"Joel," you surprise yourself by sitting down on the edge of the bed, narrowing your brow as you give him a serious look, "You can't drive. You almost fucking killed us both."
"No I-"
"Yes you did," your tone is firm, suddenly angry - are you angry? - "If I hadn't been talking to you, if I hadn't noticed something was wrong, you would've driven us off the damn road."
He goes quiet at that, frown deepening, the lines on his face more prominent in the low lamplight. You sigh, eyes falling to rest on where your hand is settled on the bed, only inches from his. Part of you wants to reach out and touch, feel the warmth of his skin, the rough of his palm - the other part decides to do something even more stupid.
"You called me baby."
It's out of your mouth before you've even really acknowledged it, and once the words have tumbled out you know there's no taking them back. Your gaze snaps back up to his, slightly surprised to see that he doesn't seem very shocked by your admission.
He clears his throat a little, averting his gaze and shuffling a bit under the covers, "Did I?"
"...Yeah."
You think maybe he'll say something else - anything else - but he doesn't. God, it really is like pulling teeth with him; he's so fucking beautiful but so impossible, never being able to expand on something unless prompted, never being able to answer a single question without jerking you around first. How the fuck has Tess managed to deal with it for so long?
The thought of Tess sends a wave of guilt through your body, Frank's words echoing in your head, but you shove it down.
"What made you... I mean why..." your voice is soft, apprehensive and shy in the quiet of the bedroom, "why'd you call me baby?"
A beat of silence. Then-
"Don't ask me that."
The mood has shifted, your sudden anger ebbing and his annoyance fading into something else, something on the brink of being real. He's avoiding your eyes, peering at the window with the curtains drawn and tapping his fingers anxiously against the mattress, so close to your hand. He's nervous; you're making him nervous.
You stay silent, hoping he'll speak again, hoping maybe just this one time he'll tell you what he's thinking.
"I don't know why."
The words are barely a whisper, almost like he's telling you a secret, and he leaves them hanging in the air briefly before amending - "Well," he sighs and finally looks at you, an emotion you can't place crossing his features, "that's not true. But... I didn't mean - fuck, I was passin' out, for Christ's sake, I didn't realize-"
He cuts himself off again, raising his hand up to press his fingers to the bridge of his nose, briefly forgetting the bandage. He winces when he comes in contact with the gauze, "Can I take this off? It's drivin' me fuckin' crazy."
"Let me do it," you say quietly, inching forward on the bed and reaching for his face. He flinches when you go to touch him, and your hand freezes mid-air.
"Sorry," he mutters, shaking his head like he's shaking off a sensation, a chill, "Go ahead."
With careful - and slightly trembling - fingers, you remove the bandage from his nose. It looks much better than before, no fresh blood in sight, and you suppose it's okay for him to keep it uncovered for the night. Without really thinking about it you gently thumb the side of his nose just shy of the cut, the tips of your other fingers brushing against his cheek.
"It's not too bad," you murmur, and before you know it you're suddenly cupping his jaw, feeling the weight of it in your palm. Your gaze falls to his lips, your thoughts going a mile a minute.
You realize you're close enough that you could kiss him, if you really wanted to. If he really wanted to. All it would take is one small movement, one little push from the both of you, one leap of faith...
And then he whispers your name, almost a warning, and it's like his thoughts are mirroring yours - like he can see exactly what you're picturing, wishing for. Your eyes meet his and you feel a flutter in your stomach when you see the way he's looking at you, a quiet hunger hidden in the deep brown.
You decide to test the waters. You lean in and softly press another kiss to his nose, this time without the gauze in the way. Just like you'd thought, his skin is hot under your lips, soft but scarred, and his smell - god, he smells so masculine and safe, invading your senses as your lips trail downwards to press a small kiss to his cupid's bow, then another to the corner of his mouth. It's sharp, prickly from his scruff, but it doesn't bother you in the slightest - in fact, you kind of like the dull pain, the way it grounds you, keeps you in the moment.
"Baby," he whispers, and a soft little whine falls from your lips without meaning to as your lips move to ghost across his mouth, going for another kiss - a real kiss.
He pulls away before you get there, but then his hand comes up to touch your face, big and wide. He holds you like you're precious, small. His baby.
"S'not right," he whispers, though his thumb strokes your cheek soothingly, "S'not okay for me to want you like that."
You close your eyes at his touch, breathing deeply, "But you do."
"Yeah, I do," you hear him murmur, "You know I do."
"For how long?"
He doesn't respond right away, just continues to stroke your cheek, hold what feels like all of you in his warm palm. You tilt your head a bit to the side, eyes fluttering open to look at him again. You catch the way his lips turn up a little at the movement.
"Too damn long," he sighs, "But that don't... that's not..." he brings his other hand up to cup the other side of your face, holding you still as he peers at you in earnest, brow furrowed, "Point is, we shouldn't... you shouldn't be out here alone with me. Tess knows how I-" he cuts himself off again, and you can see now how difficult it is for him to communicate like this, to be open and honest, "I told her it wasn't a good idea."
"Why?"
He laughs lightly, thumbs circling the apples of your cheeks, "'Cause look where we ended up." He swallows, eyes falling to your lips, "Look where you are right now, baby. Look where my damn hands are for cryin' out loud."
"Keep calling me baby," you breathe, a desperation in your voice that betrays your emotions, tears pricking in your eyes as the weight of this conversation comes crashing down around you. He wants you - he's always wanted you. His words to Tess about not wanting to put you in danger, wanting you to stay away, those soft looks you've shared in his apartment, the small talk, all of it - it's because he wants you.
"We can't do this," he murmurs, leaning in to press his forehead to yours, eyes closing, "I can't do this, you're so- you're too-" he groans, fingers digging into your hair, "You're so young, baby."
"I don't care," you whine, butting your head forward to chase his lips, suddenly yearning to be kissed and held and protected by him, be wrapped in his embrace.
But he pulls away, removing his hands from your face and shuffling back a bit on the bed, away from you. Your hand drops but you reach out pathetically for him anyway, moving closer, attempting to pull the covers back. His hands capture yours and he squeezes them firmly, shaking his head.
"You need to go back to your room," he tells you, and his tone has changed from soft to serious, "It's late and I'm... well, you know I'm fuckin' exhausted. And you've had a long day." He looks at you with pleading eyes, like he's silently begging for you not to put him in this situation, "Let's just call it a night, okay?"
"But-" you start, tears shining in your eyes.
"Please," he breathes, "Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
You do not want to get up from his bed. But you do.
You do not want to leave his room. But you do.
You do not want to lie awake in your own bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how his hands felt on your face, the way his eyes searched yours, the way his skin felt under your lips.
But you do.
You lie there for hours, thumbs twiddling against your belly, tears trickling down your cheeks every so often. All you can hear in your mind over and over again is the word Baby, punctuated by that soft groan he'd made, the way his thumbs had stroked your cheeks, how large and warm and safe he'd seemed in that bed.
All you want to do is be in that bed with him.
So it's no surprise when, as the sun is beginning to rise and that warm golden light starts to stream through your window, you crawl out from under your blankets and cross the hall one more time.
"We shouldn't" he murmurs when you climb into bed with him, when you tuck yourself into his side and bury your face in his shoulder, but his hands are already in your hair, fingers stroking along the back of your head.
Your bodies mold together like they've always been meant to fit that way, your legs tangled with his, arms trapped under big biceps and hairy forearms, breasts flush with his suddenly bare chest.
"I wanna be your baby," you whisper.
The nose you'd kissed brushes slowly up and down the side of your face, and he doesn't hesitate this time. He reaches up to turn your head, presses his lips against yours and lets you melt into him. Lets you trail your hand downward to unbutton his jeans in the silence of the early morning.
"You already are."
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undercover verstappen | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem verstappen!reader
get you a girlfriend who will threaten mutiny to get you a seat at a competent team
based on this request: HI BABES I HOPE YOU ARE WELL! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM! So basically I have an idea for a (possible?) Smau series, so basically it's Charles leclerc × verstappen!reader, she is a reserve driver for redbull but is also maxs race engineer (idk if you call it that? The person that talks to them that one) so she's very involved with the team and f1 in general. The public doesn't know that her and Charles are dating, and they don't even think it as Charles and max "hate" eachother (they are both doing this to protect readers and Charles relationship, they are actually besties) and basically, reader has enough if ferraris tractor, so she's like 'I will get you too redbull' and then checo retires at the end of the 2023 season, and instead of taking the job when she was offered it, she asks if Charles could have it (obviously not publicised) and Christian is like "Yes very good idea" so he asks Charles who is uncertain at first but is then OK with the idea (he is worried about becoming a second driver to max but there is lots of reassuring that he won't be nd so he accepts) and then he goes on to win 2024 wdc (and wcc but irrelevant) and he's sad that he couldn't do it with ferrari omg that's long sorry babes - @lillians-world-is-f1
MASTERLIST | TIPS | F1 SMALL BUSINESS
redbullracing
liked by maxverstappen, yourusername and 1,390,887 others
tagged: schecoperez
redbullracing: checo has informed the team that he will be retiring from the sport at the end of the 2023 season. we thank checo for his service and all the good times, he will forever be a legend of this sport. VAMOS CHECO 👏
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user1: EXCUSE ME?
user2: they really thought they could drop this on a monday and we'd all be chill
maxverstappen1: i've heard tequila tastes even better when you're retired, congrats mate - we'll miss you
user3: wait does this mean it'll be double verstappen on the grid now?
user4: there's more than one of them?
user5: max's sister is the girl you'll hear on his radio and she's technically the reserve driver as well. so she might step up to the second seat now checo has retired
user6: idk about you but that spells trouble to me
yourusername: congrats checo! will miss you, carola and all the little ones x
schecoperez: you won't be able to get rid of them that easily, i'll be cashing in on some well earned babysitting hours
yourusername: can't wait !!!
user7: what i'm hearing is that there's a chance for a daniel return to red bull?
user8: double verstappen or maxiel i don't want to choose they're both my children
user9: i'm making an outside shout for a charles leclerc red bull era
user10: i am seeing the lestappen vision
user11: my personal headcanon is that both verstappens and charles are all besties and have always been besties
christianhorner: thank you for your service checo, first drink on me 👍
user12: i know christian is sweating having to make a choice between child no 2 y/n and child no 3 daniel
user13: idk i think daniel might have the edge
user14: if geri or max have anything to do with it we might have a team so dutch that the car will be orange next season
user15: christian punching the walls cause lando extended his mclaren contract literally last week 😭
EXCERPT OF RECORDING OF THE RED BULL GARAGE, ABU DHABI
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 892,309 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: verstappens take the city
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user18: i just know they are simultaneously the best people to party with but also the people you probably don’t want at a house party
yourusername: i’ll have you know i once plunged a toilet at a house party and disposed of a “sick sandwich” i am a DELIGHT
user19: and max?
yourusername: no comment
maxverstappen1: as if ! i don’t care if we’re blood im suing you for slander
yourusername: i watched you volley a vase at AD21
maxverstappen1: i paid for it !!! and you said it was a sick shot anyway FAKE
yourusername: you can say that cause personally i was not at fault of any of my actions that night x
user20: PLEASE MA'AM AT LEAST ONE SEASON OF DOUBLE TROUBLE PLEASE
user21: idk if i could deal with seeing jos verstappen every weekend tho...
user22: obsessed with how neither verstappen follow charles but here he be in her notifications again
user23: someone add it to the interaction spreadsheet i am CONVINCED it will one day lead to more
landonorris: lando norris erasure once again
user24: DID YOU WRITE THAT NOTE???
landonorris: hell no i'd rather peel my skin off than call the three raccoons disguised as a woman pretty
yourusername: good gosh we would've got the point without all of that
maxverstappen1: yeah lando only i'm allowed to call y/n the raccoons in a trench coat. know your place.
user25: so you do wanna tell us who wrote the note then?
yourusername: nope ;p
user26: only y/n and max have been spotted out so maybe it's just brotherly love
user27: LOL? MAX? BROTHERLY LOVE?
danielricciardo: invite seemed to get lost in the mail again
yourusername: either get a room or get out of my comment section
maxverstappen1: ???
user28: no maxiel red bull again. i don't think y/n's blood pressure can take it
f1
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 2,544,924 others
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f1: ready to see them as teammates? charles leclerc has signed a deal with red bull to keep him at the team until 2028.
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user29: excuse me *clears throat* WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
redbullracing: welcome charles!!! no inchidents please
charles_leclerc: will we ever hear the end of that joke?
redbullracing: we know what the girlies want charles
maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while. no ice bath thirst traps here though
charles_leclerc: phew 😥
user30: this little hoe pretending he didn't love it
user31: wait ??? does this mean what i think it could mean? GIRLFRIEND?
user32: i can't take leaving ferrari and a girlfriend in one day sorry
yourusername: welcome to the team charles :)
user33: don't think we forgot about the recording babe... IS THIS WHO YOU RECOMMENED?
danielricciardo: it better not be because if you recommended your lil boyfriend over sexy ol' me i'm gonna be real mad 😭
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user34: WE SAW THAT WHAT THE FUCK
maxverstappen1: daniel you are so fucking dumb
yourusername: MAX? IGNORE IT?
maxverstappen1: bro it's all over twitter you might as well take the moment to curse out daniel before christian confiscates our phones
yourusername: DANIEL JOSEPH RICCIARDO YOU RAT BASTARD I'M GONNA RIP WHATEVER REMAINING HAIR YOU HAVE LEFT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR SURPRISINGLY PERKY ASS. IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT YOU AND YOUR CHILD BEARING HIPS WILL NEVER GET CLOSE TO A RED BULL EVER AGAIN FOR EXPOSING A SECRET US THREE HAVE KEPT FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS
charles_leclerc: what she said
maxverstappen1: oop.
user35: well. can we keep going this is quite fun.
christianhorner: they're all in time out sorry
user36: okay well now that happened... when can we get "who knows me better my boyfriend or my brother" lestappen version 🤨
charles_leclerc: i would wipe the floor with him
maxverstappen1: of course you would you BIG FAT NERD
charles_leclerc: i thought christian took your phone?
maxverstappen1: as if he doesn't fall for the verstappen puppy dog eyes every time
charles_leclerc: you'll use them for me right babe, RIGHT BABE?
yourusername: idk charlie, this is family business
christianhorner: i've taken their phones again
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc & maxverstappen1
yourusername: my favourite men in the world doing what they do best
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user37: take me out back and shoot me already
christianhorner: interesting i don't see myself here and considering i pay your wages...
yourusername: dads go in different categories?
christianhorner: don't use my paternal instincts against me y/n
yourusername: say goodbye to your father's day card
christianhorner: NO I'M SORRY
user38: the way this proves that second red bull really was y/n's ...
user39: for real imagine loving a MAN so much you give it to HIM 🤮
user40: she also said in that recording at jos made it so bad for the two of them when they did compete that she no longer wanted to give the fans and the media the chance to do it either
charles_leclerc: oh wow that's crazy, you're my favourite woman ever
yourusername: don't be so rude to mama pascale
charles_leclerc: well other than mama obvioysly
yourusername: so i'm not your favourite, i see how it is
charles_leclerc: I AM SO CONFUSED SO I'M JUST GONNA SAY I LOVE YOU
yourusername: awww charlie i love you too
user41: okay i've known about them approximately two weeks and i love them your honour
maxverstappen1: i'm so much better than him y/n be real
yourusername: don't be such a sore loser maxy
maxverstappen1: don't get it twisted, i still won on track
charles_leclerc: not for long
yourusername: okay girlies leave the trash talk for the weekends this is being normal for the sake of y/n's mental health time
user42: good lord this trio is so dear to me
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: best thing about winning is choosing the restaurant after - closely followed about the worst thing: third wheeling them.
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user43: max coming through with the y/n and charles content as he should
user44: i need him to open the vault cause i have not forgotten that y/n said this relationship is seven years old
yourusername: i think i had a wet dream about this sushi spread last night
maxverstappen1: as long as that's it, good.
yourusername: i don't need to have wet dreams anymore, the real thing is so much better
maxverstappen1: BLOCKED.
user45: i know y/n is elated to be able to publicly terrorise max with her relationship
user46: so does this mean that this is a system they've had for a while?
yourusername: room service is our middle names
charles_leclerc: maximilian can you please send the last pic to the shared album
maxverstappen1: on it 🫡
user47: SHARED ALBUM? I MIGHT DIE
yourusername: you two are such cutie patooties
maxverstappen1: but for real no being so cute on my jet again or just wait for me to go for my nap
charles_leclerc: heard and understood
yourusername: or maybe just get a life and stop being so lonely
danielricciardo: can i join for sushi or am i still banned?
maxverstappen1: eh, you could take y/n in a scrap
danielricciardo: she read my ass for filth on main i'm scared of her
charles_leclerc: she had you gagged
danielricciardo: and this litlle guard puppy agrees with whatever she says :(
yourusername: as he should !
maxverstappen1: don't try and fight it daniel, i've been in this losing battle for seven years
charles_leclerc
liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,834,903 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: life in blue could never be blue with you. i love you baby, thank you for giving me this opportunity, every trophy is for you x
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user48: GOD PLEASE SAVE ME PLEASE GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS SINGLE LIFE.
yourusername: i love you too charlie, i'd do everything and more for you. i'm happy you're happy x
charles_leclerc: you can't get rid of me at this point
yourusername: seven years strong, i'm stuck to you like glue
charles_leclerc: you'll have my last name (or i can take yours) next
maxverstappen1: you can give her a ring but you'll NEVER TAKE THE VERSTAPPEN NAME AWAY
yourusername: you good?
maxverstappen1: yeah but we must always be double trouble. not even THAT man will come between that
user49: this is the trio of my dreams i need a whole drive to survive ep or even spin off just following these losers around
danielricciardo: see how could you be angry that i would want to talk about all this cuteness ?
yourusername: we are cute, correct.
charles_leclerc: i'd use the words incredibly sexy but okay
danielricciardo: are you guys still angry? I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOU
yourusername: we forgive you daniel.
charles_leclerc: i was also kissing her on my first podium REGARDLESS
yourusername: you're so romantic 🥰
maxverstappen1: GAG.
user50: convinced that max will still be the biggest big brother asshole until he is in the retirement home
alexalbon: flexing the alex albon and lily mun he photography i see
yourusername: thank you for your service
lilymunhe: we can also keep a secret 🤫
danielricciardo: I SAID I WAS SORRY
charles_leclerc: we're gonna hold it over you forever buddy
danielricciardo: was taking the red bull seat not enough?
charles_leclerc: until i win a championship? yes.
fin.
note: I'M BACK!! hope this was what you were looking for xx also, if you guys ever want to support me in any way i have a tip jar on kofi and also my small business @badlydrawnf1cats that has a sticker sheet available right now - love you all xx
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc social media au
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