#I liked crows and wanted to draw them for a grade and I totally did so. I win

[tracle0]

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[mistydeyes]

Hihooo!! I saw you did pairings and I wanna try it out :3

Pronouns: She/They

Appearance: Short black hair with slightly chubby cheeks. Pear body shape basically. Usually wearing military aesthetic, gothic, dark academia or witchy

Personality: I like to keep to myself sonce I'm a major introvert to strangers but I absolutely become invested in recreational topics (intertwines with interests). From what my friends say, I'm basically the mom they wanted and needed who would cook you the best shit evem on the first try. I'm a bit of a perfectionist who over thinks so much that it basically stops me from doing anything. I am also a people pleaser. I am also easy to entertain because a rolling spider could literally make my day) search cartwheeling spider)

Interests/,Hobbies,/Work

Im a violinist freelancer that is a first year nursing studentl. I am also a Catholic Witch since Grade 8. . My interests involve a lot of creativity, arts, aesthetic and typically anything within the realm of science, spirituality and nature. I write, I sletch and paint, I play the violin, I read tarot cards sometimes and I lobe collecting crystals, flowers and little cute trinkets. I love spiders, crows, snakes and cats (especially cats).

I think that's all? Idk what else you need

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish

How you met: Civilian This was the last place you would expect Johnny Mactavish to be in. But here he was eyeing the tarot cards and crystals around the store. He had no intention of buying them but something about the image of the cashier wearing a long black skirt and a top with infinite constellations drew him in. "Hi sir, can I help you?" a voice called behind him as he examined another deck. "Just looking for something, not sure what," he said and turned to look at the cashier who stood in front of him. He took in the sight of you in front of him, noticing how you were adored with crystal jewelry which perfectly completed the silver constellations on your blouse. "I can tell you that generally these decks call to you. Keeping looking and I'm sure you'll find it," you smiled before returning back to organizing the shelves. After a while, the man returned to your register with a nice deck and a collection of crystals. As you were checking him out, you commented on the arrangement of stones he had brought you. "Quite a collection you have here," you spoke and he looked up at you, "rose quartz, aventurine, garnet, kunzite, and chrysocolla. Looks like someone is looking for love," you giggled. Johnny took a few seconds before responding and blinked as you finished wrapping the delicate crystals. "Um ye no hen at home for me, just me and all these crystals," he replied and you noticed the soft blush on his cheeks. "Well I'm always here if you want to stop by for a quick conversation or tarot reading," you smiled back at him. "Might take you up on that bonnie lass," he said before taking his bag and heading out of the story. As he walked out, you didn't have the heart to tell him that he picked the most expensive deck, his total coming out to €95,62.

A peek into your relationship: "Johnny are you sure about this?" you asked as he led you into the tattoo parlour. "It's just some ink, hen," he said as he gently kissed your forehead. Prior to the appointment, he had you draw something that signified your relationship: a tarot cards that depicted "The Lovers." You put your own spin on it taking inspiration from The Lovers II (1928) by Rene Magritte and adding your own personal additions of flowers, crystals, and stars. As your boyfriend settled in the chair, you held his other hand as the tattoo artist prepped his bicep. "Beautiful work," the artist complemented and Johnny had a large smile on his face. "The best," he said and you blushed at the compliment. The entire 3hr session, Johnny entertained you with some random facts he had known and you laughed endlessly at his jokes. When it was finally over, you walked to his side and saw the tattoo. You marveled at how the artist perfectly transferred your vision onto your boyfriend's arm. "I love it!" you exclaimed as the artist applied saniderm to the area. "Good, now you can get one of my sketches on you," Johnny joked as you shook your head and laughed.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Sixty-Nine: Doctor Sleep

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream...” Edgar Allan Poe 

Y’all...if I’m currently cruising through The Golden Years of Steve, than Doctor Sleep is the crown jewel. It doesn’t get any better than this book. It’s one of the few sequels that far surpasses the original. It’s just that damn good. 

In the Author’s Note, Steve writes about being on tour for Bag of Bones, and having a Constant Reader ask him whatever happened to the kid from The Shining. Steve admits Danny Torrance never left his mind, along with the concept of sobriety, and what that could have done for Jack. The story he managed to create is terrifying, compelling, and one of the greatest horror stories ever. Period. Come at me bro! It’s my blog and I can make all the grand proclamations that I want. Although, fair warning, if you hate that statement, you’re really going to hate my next post all about The Shining and Doctor Sleep movies. 

Doctor Sleep starts with little Danny Torrance, still haunted with images of The Overlook. Desperate for help, Wendy calls Dick Hallorann, asking for help. Dick gifts Danny with a shiny treasure box, which he instructs him to use to capture all the evil spirits, and store them in the corners of his mind. Once the spirits are trapped in the box, they can’t hurt him. 

Little Danny turns into black-out drinker and casual drug user, Dan Torrance. Dan wakes up after an epic black-out, and finds himself in bed with a woman, Deenie, who he barely remembers meeting the night before. He stumbles out of bed, finds his wallet empty, and cocaine residue all over the living room table. He grabs money out of Deenie’s wallet just in time to see her toddler stumble out of his bedroom. Dan feels slightly ashamed of taking the money, but not too ashamed to leave it behind. Dan spends the night sleeping under a bridge, and his shine later rewards him with images of Dennie and her child’s dead corpses. They were beaten to death by Deenie’s abusive brother, and Dan feels guilt. Maybe he could have stopped it from happening. He ends up taking a Greyhound bus to Frazier, New Hampshire where he meets Billy Freeman. Billy helps him to get a job, and more importantly, get sober. Dan starts living a life he’s proud of. Well, except for the guilt he still feels about stealing from Deenie, and her eventual death.

And then, there’s the True Knot. The True Knot is a group of vampire-like people who live on the “steam” of children with the shine. The Knot is headed up by Rose the Hat, and they travel around the country in RVs, looking for their next meal. While the Knot is taking steam from Bradley Trevor, a little boy they snatched on his way home from baseball practice, Rose senses the presence of someone watching them. Rose can tell it’s a little girl with the strongest steam she’s ever felt. They need this little girl to grow up, and her steam to get even stronger. 

On the other side of the country, Abra Stone wakes up screaming about “the baseball boy” and how they’re killing him. Her parents comfort her, but feel helpless. They are used to Abra’s strange dreams and unusual occurrences (spoons stuck to the ceiling after a magic trick gone wrong). Abra has also been leaving notes on Dan’s chalkboard in his room; they share a connection with “Tony”, Dan’s imaginary friend from childhood. You later find out their connection goes even deeper than that: Dan is actually Abra’s uncle. His dad had an affair at Stovington Prep with Abra’s grandmother, and Abra’s mom and Dan are siblings. Got all that? Dan has been working at a hospice, where he has a reputation for helping patients cross over, with the assistance of Azrael the cat, who seems to have a knack for knowing every time a patient is going to die. Dan is known as Doctor Sleep. 

Side note about Azrael. Little did I know, Azrael is the Angel of Death. I just thought it was a hipster nod to Gargamel’s cat from The Smurfs.  

Dan and Abra end up connecting because she can’t forget about “the baseball boy”. Dan and Billy drive to Iowa to dig up Bradley’s corpse and retrieve his baseball glove, which Abra thinks will help her track down The Knot.

Oh the Knot... they’re not doing so well. Come to find out, Bradley’s parents never had him vaccinated (a rare time I actually support anti-vaxing parents); and older members of the Knot are catching smallpox and dying. Abra gets inside Rose’s head, and Rose sends the Knot across the country to get her. Abra senses them coming, and Dan shoots them all dead. Except Crow Daddy (Rose’s sometime lover), who kidnaps Abra to bring her back to Rose. Abra uses her powers to get Crow to drive his truck into a tree, killing him. Rose is PISSED. 

Good and evil meet at the scenic overlook where (ha!) The Overlook used to be. Dan and Rose fight it out, while Abra astral-projects herself there. It’s a psychological battle of unleashing beasts on one another, but at the end of the day, Rose the Hat is mortal, and falls off the overlook and dies. It’s one of the rare Steve books where the good guys come out with a victory, and come away unscathed. It’s satisfying, and kind of a relief when the other shoe doesn’t drop. 

One of my favorite Easter eggs takes place early on when both “Christmasland” and “Charlie Manx” are mentioned. For those that are not familiar, these are NOS4A2 (by Joe Hill) references. When it comes to Easter eggs, you’ve also got:

Castle Rock

Jerusalem’s Lot

“other worlds than these” 

“Life was a wheel, its only job was to turn, and it always came back to where it started.” 

This post didn’t do this gorgeous book justice. There was so much about sobriety and recovery, which is not only important to Danny and Jack Torrance, but important to Steve also. I just... I can’t recommend this book enough. Quick read The Shining, and then pick this up and fly through it, enjoying every beautiful word. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 42

Total Dark Tower References: 64

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Doctor Sleep: A+

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

Just After Sunset: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Blaze: B+

Hard Listening: B+

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Joyland: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D

Next up is Revival; which reads more like a Ray Bradbury book, with some Steve-like elements thrown in for good measure. Stay tuned for a Shining/Doctor Sleep movie post soon. Happy New Year to all my constant readers, and thanks to everyone who continues to follow this blog, it’s been a fun ride. 

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[rainbowcolouredstudies]

Mental Health Studying Tips!

So I know that a lot of us are struggling with their mental health and I know from my own experience how hard it can be to study when you are depressed, anxious, have panic attakcs etc. There is not one solution that fits everybody, but there are solutions that help a lot of people and even if they may not help always, they may help sometimes; and that´s why I want to share them with you guys.

Environment

Bevor you start to study, think about your environment and about your needs. You live alone at home or with a family that harms your mental health? You hate being alone in a quiet room? You have very little room at home or many distractions? Then you should probably avoid studying at home. But what can you do instead? Well, there are multiple places you could go, depending on your requirements!

o   Study with friends! If you need to be with people to not drown in your own thoughts or triggers, study in a group or at least with one friend. This is especially great, if you need lots of social contact or distractions from yourself. Explain the topic to each other, practise together, maybe write an excerpt together.

o   Get a baby sitter (for a small calm child or baby) or an cat/dog sitter job! This gives you access to a totally different place. A calm child won´t need that much attention all the time as many children have lots of toys for playing alone. Animals neither need constant attention but they are a great comfort if you are struggling with your mental health. This of course is a bit risky because the child or animal might need lots of attention but it can be worth a try, especially if you can filter out the ones over time, that stress you and only keep the clients that allow you a relaxed study atmosphere.

o   Go to a library! Whether it is a public one or the one of your school/university, there will be lots of seats and often even multiple computer and printer that you can use for a really little amount of money. Of course you have to hope to get a seat there but most cities have some „hidden“ libraries, unknown to most people and therefore less crowed. Adult education centres too have often rooms with tables to which the public has access. And most universities have huge reading halls where you can work in a quiet and calm atmosphere. Make a list of all the places your city offers and find out, where you are most comfortable.

o   In summer, you can study outside: Be it in the park, beside a river order in a forest even. You can either look up such places or just walk around till you find places you like. This is of course not ideal if you have to use a laptop, but if you charge it before leaving your home, it will give you some hours of studying between sunlight and singing birds – which can be very calming and grounding.

o   If you are the type for auditive studying (which does not work for all subjects but for many) you can record yourself explaining the topics and then listen to these records while going for a walk. This is especially good if you tend to have too much energy to sit for a long time.

o   Many people also study in a Café. You are not alone but you also don´t have to communicate. Of course you mostly have to consume a drink so this can be a bit difficult if you have financial problems. Also you should search for a Café that has tables that are big enough for your laptop or books. Look for a Café that´s not too crowed or you might have to consume all the time in order to stay there.

These of course are situations that can be problematic. They are limited to certain times, space limits like empty seats and weather circumstances. That´s why I do recommend these study environments only for those, who have no other choice because either their mental health or their family makes it impossible to study at home. If you are one of these people, then you´ll need a tight time schedule; everything has to be planned and coordinated because you basically have to finish your studying till these places close.  I therefore also ask all the other people, that can study at home, that don´t have problems with studying in their own room, to leave the seats a bit more often to the ones that need them more!

But this is not the only thing that counts as environment. Even if you study at home there are so many factors you have to decide:

-        Do you need to have it cosy? Then you will probably love studying in your bed or, if it is carpeted, on the floor. Yes, studying on the floor can be great because you have lots of space and you can use a notebook or laptop as table on your lap so that you will be able to write properly. When reading it is even more pracitcal!

-        If you have troubles staying awake, definitely choose a normal table. This can be the table at your room but it can also be in the kitchen or the living room if it is quiet enough there. Often the kitchen table is the biggest so that may be great if you have to work with many books!

-        If you have a balcony or garden, this is also a great place to study. But make sure your paper sheets won´t fly away!

Make always sure to study at a place where you feel safe but also not distracted! Your mental stability is one of the most important factors for successful studying.

Okay, so now you know where you want to study. Now you need…

The Setup

The setup basically means what you surround yourself with during your study sessions. Find things that motivate you, that remind you of something beautiful or positive but that don´t distract you too much. This might be cute pastel stationery or maybe a plushie that calms you. Crystals also help for many people. Basically it should be something that makes the study space a safe zone for you. If you study in your own room, this is very easy: print out beautiful calming pictures, buy one or two easy to handle plants, maybe some fairy lights or other decorations. Get sticky notes and highlighter in the colours that calm you the most. If you have a bit more money, buy framed pics in these colours, sheets, carpets, curtains. Anything that helps you relax is great. But attention! You don´t have to find beige and white and black, or pastel colours or glitter or rosegold or succulents relaxing. A wooden skull, black walls, a picture from Dali and an old clock can do the same for you maybe. Or maybe you need some space aesthetics? Maybe science fiction, fantasy, wildlife…anything can be right for you. It does not have to fit the tumblr standards of a perfect studyblr; it has to fit your standards and only yours!

Make sure to keep everything you need at hand. Having to get up and search for study materials can really harm your focus or motivation. So get all the books you will need, the laptop, the charging wires, paper and pencils, water and maybe a snack. Especially when you don´t study at home it is important that you take everything with you – you´ll not want to hurry back. Also make sure to have enough light – best is natural day light but if you cannot have these, a soft yellow light is often better for your mental health than a bright and cold white one. Fresh air is important too. Find music, that helps you relax, no matter what kind of music this is.

The time schedule

Especially when you have issues with your mental health, a well planned time schedule is important so you won´t get stressed. Make a to-do-list for everything you need to get done. Then draw a star beside the things that you have to get done until tomorrow. Do these things thirst. Afterwards, allow yourself a break but don´t stop studying for that day. The further you get, the less stress you will have. Study until you find you are getting tired – often physical tiredness comes short before a mental health issue. Stop as soon as you get too tired, so that you won´t trigger your anxiety or depression (I know for many people it is always there, but it can be stronger or less string. Tiredness makes every mental health issue stronger and this something that you can truly avoid.) Okay, so stop. Just stop. You´ve done as much as you could and you can´t do more now – your mental and physical health is still more important than your grades!

Don´t go to bed immediately. Having no free time is one of the worst things you can do to your mental health! Enjoy something: Go out for a walk or talk to a friend, watch a movie, read a chapter oft he book you wanted to read for ages. Sit back and listen to music, close your eyes and just enjoy it. Write in your mental health journal, and if you don´t have one, go get one now! (I will make a post about that topic soon). Don´t go too much on social media. You will just compare yourself to others and feel less successful. You can and should be proud of your success so please don´t let anyone ruin it!

What to do:

-        Document your success – be it in a journal, a bullet journal, a students planner, just a sheet of paper or a Word document. Write down what you did, even if it was not much.

-        Before you start to work, write down what you have to do. Break it down into smaller bits so you can cross out the bullet points more often.

-        Reward yourself! Be it with small things like allowing yourself to read a chapter of your favorite book in the evening or maybe with bigger things. For example, once you managed to finish that important paper, 25-pages, professionally researched; once you managed that, you go out to the movies our buy yourself some stationery or the new CD you love. Or maybe you just relax for a day and try not to think about studying.

-        Avoid expectations! Don´t tell yourself that you have to get a certain grade. Just do your best and it will be enough.

-        Make sure you don´t plan to much for a day. Otherwise you will feel overwhelmed which again can trigger you. So be pessimistic when making the plan for that day and the plan will turn out realistic. Trust me, it works most of the time.

-        Spend your breaks with things that calm you and where you know that they won´t trigger you.

-        Don´t have a set schedule when you will take breaks and when you will study. Take a break when you need one and don´t be to hard on yourself.

-        Write on top of every page of your excerpts a line from a song or a movie, some kind of quote that will make you smile.

-        Write down these quotes basically everywhere: one on every page of your planner, one in every study book you own, etc.

-        Put cute stickers or printed pics basically everywhere. They will remind you of hope and light and of all the beautiful things in your life.

-        Don´t look at what lies ahead of you but at what you have already accomplished.

-        Eat food that helps your mental health: for example, avocado. Avoid lots of fat: it makes you feel tired and heavy which again can trigger a lot of bad emotions.

-        Avoid too emotional music. Listen to songs that can´t trigger bad memories or thoughts.

-        Don´t even start to study when you literally don´t feel like it. Instead, do something that improves your mental health of that moment: any hobby that helps you, a song, going for a walk, petting you dog or dog, talking to your fish, taking a nap, whatever…Once you are a bit more stable, start with an easy task that you can finish in short time. It will give you a feeling of success and therefore motivate you to get done more. Slowly intensify the difficulty of your tasks.

What not to do:

-        There are people that can get really bad symptoms from caffeine, I know, it keeps you awake and coffee tastes nice and everything. But if you have issues with your mental health, please be careful! It can literally cause you some kinds of short-time hallucinations. Also, and that is a problem for even more of us, it makes you feel more awake then you are; you won´t feel it early enough when your body gets tired to prevent your mind from getting tired. And therefore, it is way harder to avoid triggering your mental illness.

-        Don´t isolate yourself, at least not after you finished for that day. Isolation harms us so badly. Even if it´s no deep talk about your feeling, just talking to your friend about what you achieved today or about your plans for the next holidays can help a lot. Communication and social interaction DO help us, even when we feel sociophobic – but you have to be careful and avoid toxic people.

-        Often times, bright cold white light can give you not only a headache but might trigger negative emotions. We associate cold white light with hospitals, with strict offices, with tough university classes. When we see these lights during our study time, all these associations are triggered – and with them, lots of negative emotions.

-        Never compare yourself with what others get done. Compare yourself with your former self and try to improve. But even if you don´t, remember that you are always doing your best – and that is always enough!

[rosesupposes]

Ivy League

In which Race goes to dinner with Spot, his professor, and his asshole classmate and Spot ends up defending Race’s honor.

This is v v v self indulgent and probably doesn’t make much sense. Just know that Kelly Smaltzer is modern girlsie Smalls who just hasn’t gotten her nickname yet.

Read on AO3.

-

“Thanks so much for your help, Race. I was sure I was gonna fail this test.”

“No problem, Davey,” Race said, packing the empty containers from his lunch into his bag. Spot was on a meal prep kick and Race hadn’t been able to escape it. “After my midterm this morning, it actually reminded me that physics isn’t crazy.”

“Your Planetary Relations class right?” Davey started packing up his bag. 

“Yeah and then my Dance Comp one later. But Albert and I are having rehearsals beforehand and then we’ve got another rehearsal for a showcase.”

Davey looked confused, as he gathered up the trash from his lunch, along with the trash Jack and Crutchie had left when Race and Davey had started reviewing for Davey’s Physics I test. “I thought you and Spot had that dinner with his professor tonight?”

Race groaned and held up the garment bag he’d had to bring along with his backpack and dance bag. “We do. I’ve been lugging my pants and shirt around all day. I have to wear a tie, Davey. A tie.”

Davey rolled his eyes. “You’ll survive. Spot must really want to impress his professor if he’s risking making you wear a tie.”

“I resent that but it’s not untrue. And he does. She takes an intern every summer from her first year classes and he thinks it’s a really good sign that she invited him to this dinner. But she also invited that asshole classmate that Spot’s always complaining about. He’s bringing his girlfriend.” Race wrinkled his nose. 

“Oh, I see. That’s why your wearing the tie,” Davey said with the know it all tone that Race knew meant he was teasing.

“What?”

“You’re trying to out trophy wife the girlfriend.”

“Shut up and go take your physics test,” Race said, pushing Davey’s arm and then walking away from him. His phone chirped with a text from Davey not 30 seconds later. 

I’m adding 3 points to your pettiness score. You’re in the lead now.

-

His Dance Comp midterm went well, even if it ran over. He blamed Albert for drawing the last performance slot because he could have left early otherwise. His whole body ached, protesting the Pilates class from hell that he’d had before lunch and the three hours of rehearsal he’d had after. Going home and vegging out on the couch sounded infinitely better than going to Spot’s dinner. The food would be good, sure, and Spot’s professor was paying but he’d learned early on in Spot’s law school career that when people at law events found out he wasn’t also in law school, they tended to lose interest pretty quickly. He was usually relegated to the role of trophy boyfriend- which he could do and do well but it was kind of hard when he was this exhausted and coming right from a day of midterms. 

He tied his tie while he waited for his Uber and attempted to fix his hair using Snapchat as a mirror. Spot had mentioned that his asshole classmate’s girlfriend was apparently model pretty and Davey was right; Race was nothing if not petty. He was definitely going to be the better trophy wife tonight, even if he was exhausted and coming from four hours of dancing.

As soon as Race was in his Uber and had an ETA he trusted, he texted Spot.

mdtrm ran ovr b there 5 min l8 blame al

Okay

ur gonna wow her n then well get wine drunk w javid 2nite 2 celbr8

After texting Jack and Davey to make sure they could get wine drunk when Race and Spot got home, Race was happy to find his AirPods shoved into his wallet and he put them in so he could start reviewing the choreography for his upcoming Repertory midterm in his head. He got another text from Spot when he was about five minutes from the restaurant.

They're seating us now. Just ask for Taylor Caine.

k eta 4 min ur gonna kill it luv u

Race went right to the hostess when he entered the restaurant. She probably had a fancier title than hostess at a place like this but Race definitely didn't know the word, even if it was probably Italian. "Hi, I think my party's already been seated. I'm with Taylor Caine?"

The hostess gave him a once over, eyes catching on his poorly tied tie. "Of course, follow me, sir." She led Race through the main dining area and to another, smaller area where Race immediately picked out Spot and his group. He waved, hoping to catch Spot's eye and sure enough Spot saw him, his face brightening in a way that most people didn't recognize.

"Speak of the devil," he said, grinning as Race took the empty seat between Spot and who he assumed was asshole classmate's girlfriend. "This is my boyfriend, Antonio Higgins."

"Call me Tony, please," Race said, as if he ever used that name. "I'm so sorry I'm late, my dance midterm ran over."

The woman on the other side of Spot set her menu down and pushed her reading glasses on top of her head, offering her hand to Race, who took it. "No worries at all, we've only just ordered our drinks. I'm Taylor Caine."

"Oh the famous Professor Caine," Race crowed. "It's so great to meet you after all of Sean's stories."

"Only good ones I hope?"

"The best," Race agreed, grinning at Spot, who was getting the look he did when he was almost about to blush. Race decided to back off a little instead of laying it on so thick. "He loves your classes."

"Oh don't flatter her," the woman next to her said. The way she put her hand on Taylor's shoulder spoke of  years of easy familiarity and it made Race smile to think of having that with someone- with Spot- one day. "I'll never hear the end of it. I'm Dalia."

Race shook her hand and then turned to the man at her side- presumably Spot's classmate. Race offered his hand. The man took it, but not before staring at it disdainfully. He eventually deigned to introduce himself to Race, but not before Race reintroduced himself first. “Antonio Higgins.”

 "Joseph Huntington III. This is my fiancée, Kelly Smaltzer."

"Great to meet you." Race was sitting next to Kelly so he turned to her as well and offered his hand, which she shook. "That dress is absolutely beautiful. Vera Wang?"

Kelly's face lit up. She was very pretty and Race felt a little bitter. "Thank you, yes. How did you know?"

While the others discussed whatever it was lawyers discussed, Race told her about Jack’s internship at the fashion magazine and how they would obsess over spreads together for hours and they fell into an easy conversation about fashion magazines. Kelly, it turned out, was writing for the website of a competing fashion magazine but she quietly admitted to Race that she was hoping to break away from fluff pieces soon and then move to a magazine more like the one Jack worked at- one that was focused on fashion but strived for inclusivity and female empowerment. She had some interesting ideas and Race was slowly starting to like her. She and Jack would be a force to be reckoned with if put in the same room together. If they were relegated to conversation as trophy wives for the night, he didn’t think he would mind it.

Eventually the waiter appeared with drinks. Spot leaned into Race's space to tell him, "I ordered you a seltzer, babe."

Race kissed Spot on the cheek, taking his glass from the waiter. "Perfect, thanks." 

As the waiter took their orders, Race suddenly realized he hadn’t looked over the menu at all- a dangerous choice, since he could be pretty picky with his Italian food. He began reading over but he only got through two appetizers before Spot interrupted him, quietly pointing out two of the menu items. “There’s lasagna you’ll like and a pasta primavera, if you want something lighter.”

“You know me too well,” he said with a wink and Spot rolled his eyes. He thought he heard Joseph scoff but he ignored it.

Once they'd settled back into conversation after ordering, Race found himself the center of attention. "So, Tony," Taylor said as she put away her reading glasses. "Sean tells me you're also at Columbia?"

Race nodded. "I am. I'm still an undergrad though- only a junior. Sean's too smart for me; he graduated high school and undergrad early."

"Don't sell yourself short. You’re-" Spot started but was interrupted by Joseph.

"You're a dance major then?"

"Yes," Race said, taking a sip of his seltzer, "a dance major and-"

“And what do you plan to do with that?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure yet but I also-”

"At Yale, dance is folded into the Theater Studies major. It’s not a very popular major. Most students at Yale choose a more… useful path for undergrad. I majored in political science. Joseph continued, a not so subtle attempt at shifting the focus of conversation to himself..

"Oh, how interesting," Dalia said, sounding perfectly interested though Race didn’t miss the little annoyed look that crossed her face.

Joseph launched into what was probably meant to sound like a description of undergraduate life in New Haven but was actually just a thinly veiled list of his accomplishments. Race nodded politely at all the right points in Joseph’s resume but caught Spot tensing his body out of the corner of his eye. Hoping to head off Spot’s seething, Race grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it once, shaking his head a little. He waited for Spot to nod back to him before turning to Kelly. God, Spot could be such a drama queen. And, coming from Race, who was now leading on the pettiness scoreboard in their apartment, that was saying a lot.

Race turned back to Kelly, hoping to hear more of her ideas for future articles. She seemed excited just to have the chance to talk about them and after listening to both Katherine and Sarah rant for hours on end, Race felt like he knew how to actually engage in the conversation as an ally without being a total jerk.

By the time their food came, it was clear to Race that Spot’s assessment of Joseph as a Grade A Asshole was correct. He attempted to make every conversation about him and his opinions. He kept making digs at Spot’s less than ideal childhood and cutting off his own fiancée to speak for her. He was sitting next to Dalia but spent the whole time clearly trying to impress Taylor. In his effort to engage with Taylor, he ended up essentially ignoring Dalia, Kelly, and Race, and only engaging with Spot because he had to. No one seemed overly impressed with his accomplishments or his attitude which helped restore Race’s faith in humanity a little but it did not make for a fun dinner table.

Race could tell Spot was getting closer and closer to going off. His jaw was tight and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists under the table. It was one of the things Race loved most about Spot- his righteous outrage in the face of someone treating others like shit- but now was not the time for an outburst. He kept one hand just above Spot’s knee, even while talking to Kelly, slowly rubbing circles right above his knee cap.

Taylor and Dalia were wonderful, trying to keep everyone involved in the conversation. It was when they asked Kelly about herself that Race really started to get annoyed with Joseph. He kept talking over her, even when she was asked a direct question, ascribing opinions to her that Race could tell from her face she didn’t really hold. He told their engagement story with a focus on how amazing his plan had been while barely mentioning Kelly. When he excused himself to use the bathroom shortly after that, Race made it a point to ask Kelly again about the articles she wanted to write for her magazine. Taylor and Dalia both listened intently to her ideas of what fashion magazines could- and should- be.

“Sorry,” she said after a few minutes, putting her hands back in her lap and blushing a little. “I just get really excited about this kind of stuff.”

“No, no,” Taylor said. “Don’t apologize, you have a lot of really intelligent ideas and you’re very good at expressing them.”

Kelly beamed. “Thank you. I don’t have much chance to talk about them, even at work.”

Dalia hummed thoughtfully and nodded. “I remember seeing some profiles on your magazine recently. I thought they mentioned how progressive it was.”

“In some ways, it is,” Kelly said thoughtfully. “But in a lot of ways it’s white feminism and it’s lip service. There are a few articles on intersectionality in relation to feminism that I was sure I would get to write if I pitched them but I’ve been shut down again and again. They only want the type of feminism that’s palatable to their investors and they refuse to push for anything more. And we need to push for more. Intersectionality is the most important part of feminism and if I can somehow provide visibility to trans women or women of color-”

“This again, honey?” Joseph said, grinning as he sat down. “Sorry about that. She gets overexcited sometimes.”

Kelly looked visibly upset but also a little like she was used to it. “I’m not overexcited, Joey. This is important.”

“I don’t know why you care so much. It doesn’t affect you.”

“It does and even if it didn’t, then it’s even more important for me to care.”

Race could see a real argument brewing and, while he wouldn’t mind Joseph making himself out to be even more of an asshole, Kelly didn’t deserve to be put down in the middle of a restaurant, by her fiancee, when she was right. Without even thinking about it, Race took a sip of his almost finished seltzer and then set down his glass towards the edge of the table, tipping it into his own lap. “Oh my god, I’m such a klutz.” He stood, giving Spot a significant look and hoping his boyfriend picked up his cue to change the subject. “Excuse me, I’ll just go clean myself up.”

Race pulled a waitress aside as he headed to the bathroom, telling her about the spill. He cleaned himself up quickly. Thankfully, the air dryer helped with his wet pants. By the time he returned to the table, everyone seemed calm, though Kelly was decidedly not looking at Joseph. Dalia was speaking when Race sat down again. “I can’t say much obviously but it’s very exciting to represent them, even just in the patent filings. I mean, I have a degree in physics so it’s fun to go back to my roots with all the intermediary work before their next spacecraft is ready. Oh, Tony, is everything all right?”

“All set,” he said, taking his seat. “Just a little seltzer. Sorry, did you say you were working on patents for a spacecraft? Is it the Kord Industries one?”

Dalia’s eyes brightened. “Yes, actually, do you know it?”

“I do,” Race said at the same time that Joseph snorted. Race ignored it but could feel Spot seething next to him and reflexively reached a hand down to grab his knee. Spot was not going to blow his shot at this internship over whatever he thought was Race’s honor; not if Race could help it.

“And how do you feel about them? Most people who know enough to recognize them from such a brief description have strong opinions.”

“Oh, he does,” Spot said, a lot calmer than Race would expect.

Race laughed. “I guess that’s fair. I-��

“What would a dance major know about spacecraft?” Joseph had said it quietly to Kelly, who did not look pleased with him. The comment was clearly meant just for her but he hadn’t said it quietly enough because the whole table had heard him loud and clear. 

“Joseph,” Kelly said, sounding scandalized. “Stop it.”

“It’s okay, Kelly,” Race said, forcing a smile onto his face, even though he was kind of exhausted from dealing with Joseph tonight.

“No, it’s not okay,” Spot interjected, standing in his seat and leaning over the table a little. “Antonio is double majoring in Dance and Astrophysics, which you would know if you hadn’t been interrupting him all night. He is the smartest and most passionate man I know. He has more talent in his pinky finger than you have in your entire body and will graduate with two very difficult degrees with no class overlap from an Ivy League school in 4 years. He’s already co-authored 2 papers as an undergrad and presented at 4 major conferences this year alone. And what have you done? Relied on daddy’s name for a degree and law school entry?”

“Spot,” Race hissed under his breath, tugging on Spot’s wrist. Both Joseph and Kelly were frozen on the other side of the table. “Sit down.”

“No, Racer. He’s been rude to everyone all night and he doesn’t get to insult your intelligence because one of your majors is dance and he couldn’t bother to listen to you and find out the other.”

Joseph seemed to have collected himself enough to lift an eyebrow, looking amused. “And you got in based on what? The scholarship for poor orphaned kids from Queens?”

“I’m from Brooklyn, asshole” Spot hissed and Race almost laughed. Leave it to Spot to bring up Brooklyn rather than his LSAT score of 179.

“I’m sorry but that is completely inappropriate language for a restaurant like this,” Joseph said still sounding amused. He looked to Dalia and Taylor, apparently aiming for conspiratorial. “I guess a place at Columbia is no guarantee for good breeding.” He turned back to Spot and Race, arms crossed as if he had won. “You should go now.”

“Actually, I think you should go, Joseph.” All eyes turned to Taylor who did not look happy at all. “Sean is right. You’ve been very rude tonight and I can’t say I blame him for lashing out. Kelly, darling, you’re welcome to stay. I’d love to hear more about your article ideas.”

Joseph’s absolutely shocked face would forever be one of Race’s favorite memories. He seemed frozen in his shock but Kelly jumped to action, standing and pulling Joseph up with her. “Thank you so much, Taylor, Dalia, but we’ll both be going. Sean, it was lovely to meet you. Tony, I’ll send you that article I was telling you about. Thank you all so much again. Have a lovely night.”

Kelly grabbed her coat and purse and pulled a shell shocked Joseph out behind her, without another word from him. Spot relaxed a little as he sat back down but Race saw the exact moment that he realized what had just happened.

“Professor, I am so sorry, that was completely inappropriate. We should go too-”

“Please don’t,” Taylor said. “You and Tony have been a delight tonight unlike Joseph. This is exactly why I do these dinners. You never know how a student behaves outside of class unless you meet them outside of class.”

“Yes, please stay,” Dalia said. “I’d like to hear Tony’s opinions on the Kord Industries spacecraft. The younger generation tends to have the most innovative thoughts on these things, in my experience. But first you’ll have to tell us where the nicknames Spot and Racer come from.”

Spot and Race grinned at each other. 

“Well, you see,” Spot started, turning back to the older women. “My brother likes to think he’s very good at giving people nicknames.”

[ellenneedscoffee]

some asks

I saw @whiisker share this and thought I’d give it a go. Originally posted by @lilflowerkiddo

• 1. have you ever been in love?

I have and still am. I’ve been with my boyfriend going on five years now.

• 2. who is your favorite artist?

There are so many! Charlie Bowater, Shirley Barber, Yehuda Devir, the list goes on.

• 3. what is your favorite music genre?

I cant say i have a favourite. I like all kinds of music, except for country but Luke Combs is an exception.

• 4. have you ever had a penpal?

I have two. I've known them for about 8 years I think? One of them is a fantasy author and I’m creating the covers for her new series. 

• 5. are you single or in a relationship?

Yep. I’m taken.

• 6. what color are your eyes?

blue.

• 7. what is your favorite word?

antidisestablishmentarianism.

• 8. do you play any instruments?

No but i’d like to. 

Favorite color?

Purple but I also really like emerald green.

• 10. do you have any nicknames?

Not really. Some people call me Elle but that’s mainy my dad.

• 11. what is your favorite flower?

Orchids.

• 12. what qualities do you find attractive in a person?

Well, My current boyfriend is technically my first so I’d say I love his humor and and his smile. Although sometimes I hate his smile because it means hes about to be a cheeky shit and I should be worried.

• 13. do you have any pets?

I have a land seal- I mean a Blue Healer and 3 cats. 

• 14. have you ever traveled outside of your home country?

No but I am planning on going to Bali at the end of the year. I would also love to visit Japan and the US.

• 15. what language(s) do you speak?

English. I did learn Indonesian when i was in primary school and high school but I only remember the very basics like “Good Morning” and “thank you”.

• 16. who was your first crush?

The crush i can remember was I guy I “dated” when i was 12. Turns out he was best mates with my boyfriend before he decided to hit his girlfriend and threaten to come to my bf’s house with a crow bar. Yeah, we don’t speak to him anymore...

• 17. do you wear glasses?

I have glasses but i don’t need them. I swear they’re just clear lenses because they don’t do anything.

• 18. what is your favorite pastry?

croissant

• 19. do you prefer swimming in a pool or in the ocean?

ocean. 

• 20. bright, dark, or pastel colors?

Half of my wardrobe is black.

• 21. what is your favorite social media app?

Instagram.

• 22. what is your sexuality?

Straight.

• 23. do you have any siblings?

I have two sisters. I’m the middle child.

• 24. what is your favorite scent?

Strawberry and cream body wash. My god so good.

• 25. where do you want to travel to?

Japan and the US.

• 26. what is your favorite film?

West Side Story. 

• 27. who do people say you look like? (celebrity/family member)

I look really similar to my younger sister (well duh). Total strangers recognize me because they know her and vice versa.

• 28. who is your best friend?

I've struggled with friends over the years but I can say that my current friend group are my best friends. We’re like a family, My friend’s son calls me Aunty Ellen.

• 29. what is your dream job?

Full time Illustrator. (*sigh* It would be a dream)

• 30. do you know how to drive?

Yes I do. I've had my licence for 9 months now.

• 31. who is/was your favorite teacher?

My grade 3 teacher, Mrs Roach. She’s so lovely.

• 32. are you a feminist?

Yes.

• 33. what is your zodiac sign?

Cancer

• 34. do you enjoy reading?

I do. I really want to read more. I’m currently reading Gumiho: Wicked Fox.

• 35. do you have any hidden talents?

I can twitch my nostrils like a rabbit.

• 36. have you ever dyed your hair?

Defiantly. I cant even remember the last time I had my natural colour.

• 37. what is your favorite thing in your bedroom?

My laptop

• 38. what is your biggest fear?

Failure. 

• 39. can you whistle?

Yes. (take that Pepper Pig)

• 40. do you make your bed every day?

I try to.

• 41. do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?

No. I might get a tattoo one day but i cant commit.

• 42. have you ever been on a roller coaster?

Yes and it was horrible I hated it. 

• 43. surfing or skateboarding?

Neither.

• 44. are you a dog or a cat person?

Cat.

• 45. what is your favorite animal?

OTTERS!

• 46. do you have a skincare routine?

I guess. I use a green tea face wash and toner and then i like to use an eye serum.

• 47. what time do you typically go to bed at and what time do you wake up at? 

Lately I've been going to bed around 10:30 - 11:00 pm and waking up between 8:30 - 9:00 am. But I depends if i have work that day.

 48. what is your favorite memory?

It only happened this past weekend but dancing with my boyfriend at a friend’s wedding. It was the couple’s dance and I don’t know why but I got really emotional lol.

• 49. how tall are you?

5 ft 4

• 50. what is the best gift you’ve ever received?

My laptop and drawing tablet.

• 51. do you have a garden?

I do but its all weeds.

• 52. do you like bugs?

Not really? Moths freak me out. I hate how big they get and fly in your face.

• 53. what is your natural hair color?

Brown.

• 54. what is your favorite food and drink?

I loooooove seafood. Salmon sashimi, prawns, oysters give me now! and bubble tea.

• 55. do you want kids?

One day. Defiantly not now.

• 56. what is/was your favorite class?

Art and Photography.

• 57. what color shirt are you wearing?

Black. 

• 58. if you could time travel, what year would you go to and why? 

I do miss the 00′s. 

• 59. what is your skin color?

I’m very pale.

• 60. hugs or kisses?

Depends who’s giving them.

• 61. have you ever drank alcohol?

Yes, I get very drunk on Fireball but I love it! It tastes like a cinnamon doughnut. 

• 62. have you ever done drugs?

No but i’ve considered trying marijuana at least once. 

• 63. netflix or youtube?

Youtube.

• 64. ice cream or frozen yogurt?

Frozen yogurt.

• 65. succulents or flowers?

Succulents but all mine are plastic.

Original post by lilflowerkiddo

[darkpoisonouslove]

So I promised @trashcankitty12 a post about my headcanons about Griffin’s friendship with Ediltrude and Zarathustra and I’m delivering.

I’m just going to start with my headcanons for their personalities when they were younger (under a cut because it’s long again):

Ediltrude:

- She was actually the more aggressive twin when they were students and her first response to everything would be violence. Someone said something bad about her? Spell the bitch. Someone sabotaged a scheme of hers? Get revenge. Someone did something to Zara? Okay, call the police because there will be a murder here.

- She was the “wild” one that always had a new boyfriend (that she’d dump after a while and find herself another victim) and was always at parties getting wasted but then showing up the next day at class in top shape. Nobody knew how she was doing that.

- In that vein, she was at the top of every class, always having the best grades. She had to be better than everyone she hated, you know? It was law! There was no question about it.

- She always wanted attention (but, like, in a cute way and mostly from her sis) and her presence demanded it, really. And she was always “fashionably late” (except for classes).

- Jewelry is her thing! Especially rings and necklaces. She hoards them by the ton.

- She can’t cook for shit. And she doesn’t really eat that much (tbh all the witches are anorexic but that’s not a topic I want to delve into rn because I have STRONG opinions about it that don’t belong here). Zara is kind of worried about her, especially when she knows the only thing in her system is alcohol. But Ediltrude seems to be handling herself (better than Zara is tbh)

- Ediltrude is actually very emotional but she hides that fact behind a cold and unfeeling facade that also conceals her trust issues. You don’t have to be worried about people approaching you if everyone’s scared to approach you, you know?

- She’s independent, you know! Never mind that she wouldn’t last a day without her sis because there’d be no one she could talk to.

- She has a fierce love for animals, especially snakes, and had a shitton of them while they were still living at home before signing up for Cloud Tower. Zara was so done with it. Imagine the following convo:

Zara: I can’t step on the floor because your pets are everywhere. Edi: I’m sorry… that you’re a dumbass who can’t remember she can fly. Zara: I’m not flying in my own home! I want to be able to step on the floor. Edi: And I want to be able to take care of my pets in peace. Zara: Oh, I will give you peace! *death glare*

Ironically, Ediltrude’s cat loves Zara (possibly even more than Ediltrude) and always cuddles into her. Zara is so done with all the cat hair on her clothes. She never shoos the cat away though.

- Her other strength is divination which she mostly uses to mess with people by telling them what will go wrong with their relationships. And if you really piss her off, she might give you a prediction of your death.

Zarathustra:

- She was a bit more controlled in her temper compared to her sister but you didn’t want to be the target of her words. She was the queen of sass and sarcasm. Her anger was also more insidious and delayed than Ediltrude’s and while Edi would get her revenge on you on the spot and then proceed with her life, Zara would let you stew in anxiety over when she’d get back at you.

- Zara is actually a few minutes older than Ediltrude. She resorts to calling her “baby sister” sometimes to which Ediltrude’s response always is “Talking shit again I see”. And while Zara would tease her with the fact that she’s a bit younger because she knew it annoyed Edi even if she didn’t show it, she still felt kind of responsible for her as she is a little older (which is kind of ridiculous because she can’t handle herself but we give her points for trying).

- Zara was more awkward in social situations or at least so it seemed because she didn’t bother trying to hide her uneasiness around people. But that wouldn’t stop her from blurting out what was on her mind which usually wasn’t very flattering. But hey, people usually deserved it.

- She’s sort of a nihilist (and would totally fit in with Millennials and Gen Z) and can be a bit depressing to be around sometimes. But she’ll send you all the memes (let’s pretend they had memes, okay). That was her primary way of communication at one point and Ediltrude was a little worried (not to mention sick of the damn memes). But they got over it and Zara is more talkative now.

- She has a more instinctual approach when it comes to magic and didn’t spend that much time studying. She preferred to practice instead and have physical, tangible results instead of something she read in a book which often ended up in a spell gone wrong.

- She is always exhausted because she can never sleep. Ediltrude is pretty convinced the cause is in a potion that went wrong when they were 13 but Zara wouldn’t hear a word of it. She blames it on stress and everyone pissing her off which results in restlessness and sleep problems.

- She pretty much runs on coffee since she gets very little sleep and is kinda a mess. But when it comes to insults, her brain is always ready and on the go. You can’t beat her at that no matter how sleep deprived she is. If only that were true when it came to her studies.

- She is actually a big fan of food (she has to get energy somewhere since she can’t sleep) but stays thin no matter how much she eats. She can barely cook, though, although she is better at it than Ediltrude. But not by much.

- Her strength are potions which she always experiments with. That results in utter chaos at her working space since there are ingredients everywhere. Ediltrude was afraid her animals would accidentally eat the wrong thing and either turn into an object or into a demon.

- Which Zara would’ve probably liked because demons have always been of special interest to her. She’s pretty sure she has a few of those trapped in her own soul and that she would be besties with any demons she can summon. Ediltrude had to keep the summoning spells under lock and key to be sure that she won’t find her sister possessed some day.

Griffin:

- Griffin was the quietest of the three, yet, the most menacing. Nobody dared mess with her after she taught some seniors a lesson for calling her pixie because of the whole thing with Faragonda. Well, nobody but Edi and Zara. But that’s stuff for later.

- She was a bookworm and spent a lot of time in the library, always reading about spells and anything else she could get her hands on, really. Books helped her calm down and escape the crushing reality. She was safe between the pages where the world’s resentment for her couldn’t reach her.

- Her strength were her words but she wasn’t afraid to act when the situation called for it. And there was a situation like that any other day tbh. Someone would decide to be an idiot and she’d have to interfere.

- She was clearly a strategist and would think everything through, coming up with the perfect plan to mess with some fairies or get revenge on a witch that crossed her.

- She was religious about her studies, much like Ediltrude, and the two were always competing for the first place at every class while Zara would just roll her eyes at them and try to take a nap. She didn’t get enough sleep for this shit!

- She is the one member of the trio that can actually cook and won’t burn the whole kitchen down in the process. However, she survives mainly on tea. She has all the tea and that’s pretty much her only intake when it comes to food and liquids. Zara was absolutely shocked when she learned that. Even Ediltrude enjoyed a normal, healthy meal once in a while. But not Griffin. Makes you wonder why she’s so good at cooking. She actually enjoys taking care of others by making them meals but she would never admit it.

- She knows everything about plants and is a specialist on herbalism. Have a health problem? She’ll cure you in hours. She has so many plants you feel like you’re in the jungle.

- She’s not that much into animals but crows have always liked her and she - them. They are one of the most intelligent animals and she feels them as companions in a way. Their presence calms her and helps chase away the loneliness.

- She also knows everything about crystals and how to use them in spells. Especially healing spells. She’s always been good at those but all the negativity and hate the world has been giving her for the fact that she’s a witch with dark magic pushed her to seek out the more destructive side of her magic and utilize it instead of what she was naturally good at.

- Her knowledge of astronomy helps her coordinate her spells so that they draw power from the cosmos, making her magic even stronger since she’s using nature in her favor. It gave her a big advantage on all the other witches and she loved showing off with that by challenging seniors to sparring (when she wasn’t one herself) and defeating them.

Now for the friendship:

- Griffin was transferred into the twins’ room after it turned out Faragonda was a fairy. So it was kind of a last minute arrangement and nobody was happy about it. Least of all Griffin and Edi and Zara.

- The three didn’t like each other at first. The twins were hellbent on giving her grief about being a fairy but she quickly managed to “convince” them not to do it. Magic was involved. It wasn’t pretty. They learned not to mess with her though. Still, that only made the relationship between them even more strained. Not to mention that Griffin couldn’t stand the arguments between Zara and Edi and would soon get involved into the mess herself.

- Sharing a dorm room wasn’t easy for the three of them since they practically had no space to move around. Between Griffin’s plants, Zara’s potions and Ediltrude’s clothes the room was packed. Quite a few incidents with Zara’s potions occurred because of the limited space. Not to mention that the tensions always raised through the roof in the matter of seconds thanks to the stuffy atmosphere.

- To add to that, Ediltrude had had the brilliant idea to sneak two of her snakes into the room. Even Zara didn’t know about that so she was quite scandalized when Griffin found the snakes in her bed. Ediltrude begged them both to keep her secret. Zara agreed easier than Griffin who finally gave in on condition that Ediltrude failed that upcoming test they had. It was more of a test of its own, though, since she wanted to see just how much the snakes meant to her. She didn’t let her fail in the end. That was when Ediltrude realized that the two of them may have more in common than originally thought, acting tough but that was actually only a veneer that hid a sensitive soul underneath.

- Zara found out how caring a person Griffin actually was when she blew up one of her plants with a potion gone wrong but instead of getting angry with her, Griffin made her some tea to help her sleep and concentrate to avoid more of those accidents. At first Zara thought she was trying to poison her but when she saw the results, she was grateful to Griffin. That was the first time in years that she actually managed to sleep like a normal person.

- The three soon figured out how well they work as a team and then it was over for all of those other witches. Of course, there was still the problem with the space they were facing but things ran much smoother when they weren’t at each other’s throats all the time. Their energy went into making life miserable for everyone else. And they were too good at it. From hating each other they went to being inseparable.

- So when Ediltrude’s snakes were finally discovered during senior year, Griffin and Zara stood up for her. Which earned them suspension for a month as well. That month was well utilized, though, in wreaking havoc all around their home planets with their friendship going as strong as ever.

- In fact, they only fell out of touch when Griffin joined Valtor and the Ancestral Witches.

That’s all I got for you today! Now I want to make an aesthetic about the three of them! Damn, and I have a lot of other stuff to work on. I’m going out of my mind here with everything I want to get done!

[thewildheroine]

Fly Away |Twenty- Nine|

Warnings: Child injury/death

Word Count: 3.5K

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: I just started school this week and it’s already killing me so I’m sorry if I don’t post very consistently or if my writing is bad. I hope you guys enjoy and if you like it please reblog loves!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|Masterlist|

|Part Twenty-Seven|  |Part Twenty-Eight|  |Part Thirty|

____________

I stand on the sidewalk, droplets of rain running past my cotton shirt and the black and blue flannel that is two sizes too big on me. My hair has turned three times darker than usual. The weight of water filling my locks is enough to make the back of my neck ache. Parents and students make this already loud corner of the world even more chaotic. I feel my brain go into overload as I try to focus on one thing.

Instead, a giant wave of wind blows right into my face. The air, thick with water, blows straight into my ears and the noise around me grows ten times in volume. I sigh and bow my head. Droplets of icy water beat right against my nape, pushing fatigue further on me until I feel like dropping onto the sidewalk.

“Hi,” a beautiful voice says, abruptly drawing my attention away from all the obnoxious noise. I’m taken aback when I turn to face the kindest face I’ve ever seen. Her cinnamon lips drawn back on her find face to show me a smile. Hands the color of honey are holding onto each other. She holds her head high, seemingly unfazed by the rain. And her eyes, little orbs of purple that are gleaming with light. She keeps up her chin and extends her small hand towards me.

“You’re Y/N, right?” she wonders. I narrow my eyes and nod slowly, untrusting of anyone who comes up and talks to me so randomly. “I’m Heather. I’m in Mrs. Binford’s class too.”

My arms curl around my torso, this place that I’ve appeared in somehow both hot and freezing at the same time. This place vacillates between the two extreme temperatures as I wander around, unsure of where I’m going exactly. I actually don’t even know where I am for that matter. All I know is that this entire plain of existence is pure, blaring white. For a moment I try to shield my eyes, but the light attacks from all directions, and I defeatedly drop my hand back onto my side.

I continue watching the girl in front of me, who I infer is Indian based on the familiarity between her and the second-grade teacher next to our class who speaks with her native accent proudly and will occasionally pass out embroidered silk in history so that we can all inspect it. My hand raises and I shake Heather’s hesitantly. My sleeves are pulled past the base of my fingers so she can’t feel the thick scars lying just beneath.

“Are you waiting for your parents?” Heather asks and looks at the crosswalk as well. I study the way the rain rolls down her tan cheek. Little white freckles are sprinkled gently under her eyes and across the bridge of her nose reminding me of stars. For being just as young as me she seems otherworldly, and although my dad has never encouraged me to believe in anything besides magic, I know she’s an ancient just from the look of her. She had to have lived millions of lifetimes before this if she can hold her head that high and has such a sing-song voice.

“I’m walking home, actually,” I inform her matter-of-factly and start crossing the street. I’m glad for the constant noise of parents picking up their children disappearing. But Heather follows me, her brown lace-up boots that aren’t meant for the rain splashing into puddles.

“I have to walk a little too,” Heather says while catching up with me. She has to widen her steps to keep up, each pace of mine is a little more than one of her normal ones. “Not home though.”

I cock an eyebrow, surprised to hear that someone my age walks home alone by themselves too. Having become so used to the worried glances from other parents I figured no one else did it.

“You too?”I question. “Your parents let you walk home alone?” Heather laughs abruptly, revealing her pearly white teeth that are all perfectly set into her mouth, not one straying from where it should be. She hikes her backpack up on her shoulders to keep it from falling off.

“Your parents let you walk alone,” she remarks, the bite one would expect in a comment such as that non-existent. The only thing I can find in her whole soul is pure compassion. A love that feels more like family than anything I’ve ever known. “Anyways,” Heather begins and casts her gaze up to a sleek black crow that caws on a telephone wire above us, “we’re not walking alone anymore.”

My fingers dig into my sides, desperate to provide more warmth. I can feel bruises forming under the intensity of my grip so I force my hands up to my face and breathe into them. As I’m doing so an idea pops into my mind. I focus my thoughts and prepare to conjure my magic, only there is nothing to be conjured. All I find within myself is a void of what used to be there. An immortal black hole that looms within, simply waiting for the best moment to take the rest of me away.

I drop my hands enough to stare right at my scarred palms. The angry mark that stretches across the skin to serve as a reminder of what I used to have. Of what I used to be. All I can do is wonder what I am now.

“Oh.”

I nod, my thoughts racing through my naturally anxious mind. Mine and Heather’s eyes stay connected a moment longer before I look back down at the sidewalk. The water has become much less of a menace and even the rain doesn’t seem so troubling anymore. I start walking with Heather, this time slowing down so we can walk side by side.

“So,” I drone awkwardly, still very much unsure on how these “social cues” and “conversations” work, “if you’re not walking home then where are you going.” Heather points forward, not once stopping so she can point out a giant brick building a little way down the road. I eye the giant sports fields and the tall black gates. A blue and yellow flag whips around in the rain wildly.

“My brother is waiting for me there. Midtown high school,” she tells me, the topic already making her excited. “It’s a school for super smart kids. It’s called a ‘STEM’ school.” I think on that for a second, my eyes still fixated on the building.

Tears sting at my eyes now. I feel the need to drop onto the ground and let the chaotic temperature shock me to death. My feet stop moving and I stand in the middle of this infinite wasteland that is nothing more than an abyss to me. I feel my fists shaking by my sides; something that would’ve let my magic loose minutes earlier.

Or has it been hours? I try to think of where I was last. My head to turns to see where I came from but all I see is the white slate. Maybe it’s been more than just hours. I might’ve been wandering this vast place for days, weeks, months. Maybe I’ve been here for years. Maybe all I am is a distant memory to the people I once cared about. Maybe… they’re all already gone and I’m the last one left

“Do you want to go there?” I ask Heather, genuinely curious and not just acting on the few pleasantries I’ve learned. Heather’s smile grows and she nods ecstatically.

“Yeah!” she exclaims, her voice becoming a melody. “I want to be one of those cool hackers like in the spies movies I watch with my dad.” Heather turns towards me and grabs my shoulders all of the sudden. It’s like the joy coming off of her in waves radiates into me, making a smile of my own appear. “What about you? What do you wanna do? Maybe science? I think you’d be good at chemistry. My brother hates that class, but I think you’d be awesome. I quickly become overwhelmed because of her pure curiosity and excitable attitude. My mouth opens then closes, and then I look back at the school.

“I like making stuff,” I reply, thinking off all the things I’ve conjured with magic. Machines, and animals, and plants. “Is there anything for that?” Heather’s smile widens even more.

“Engineering!” she shouts loud enough for the entire block to hear. “You could totally do that! We can go to Midtown together and you can make the machines and I can put the computer stuff into them. We could be a spy team!” I watch as Heather explains what we will be doing the next ten years of our lives, a strange adoration I’ve never known lighting up everyone neuron in my brain.

I run my hands through my tangled hair, yanking some strands out of my school with a soft snapping noise that I can only ignore. Tears begin to fall from my bottom lashes and onto my hot cheeks. My eyes snap around wildly, hoping that if I look hard enough some sort of exit may appear before me. There is nothing though. Just a void for me to lose my mind in. A process that is nearly complete already.

I sit on the creaky swings with Heather. Her raven hair is blown back by the intense winds, revealing how her lavender eyes have focused on something far in the distance. There is a thick book in my lap. One that my teacher recommended that I didn’t read since it was so advanced. My eyes aren’t on the text though. They’re on my best friend of seven months who has not spoken a single word throughout the entire day. I huge feat for her.

“Y/N?” Heather murmurs her first word of the day. I can barely catch my name before it’s taken away by the wind. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

A crow caws somewhere. My head lifts upwards and I shoot my bloodshot eyes around to find the source. The tears stop falling and I finally have a moment to breathe in and out, accepting the air that has somehow turned to a consistent temperature of about twenty degrees. A smile spreads over my lips as I stare towards an invisible horizon, prepared to see a beacon of hope in a place that I believed sucked hope dry.

I’m immediately taken aback by Heather’s question. My eyes study Heather whose brows have been knitted together as she gazes at the hazy horizon with clouds building over every skyscraper in sight.

“I guess so.” I remember when I first met her. How I automatically knew that she was an old soul by the way she held herself and spoke. To this day, I’m still a firm believer of that fact. “Why are you asking?" Heather bites the inside of her cheek, asking herself whether or not she should answer.

“Last night my brother said that it was all a lie. My religion,” she informs me. I twist the chains of my swing further so I can face her entirely. “He said there is no Kali or Ganesha and that there definitely isn’t reincarnation. He said it’s all a big fat lie to keep me from being bad.” I see the tears rimming her gleaming purple eyes. It takes every ounce of control I have in my small body to keep my panic from revealing itself.

I push myself forward on the swing, taking my time to think of an honest answer for Heather because that is what she deserves. “I think he could be right,” I answer, “but I also think that you could be right. I don’t think we’re meant to know for sure if there is someone special out there watching over us.” I bite my lip and shrug, taking a moment to close my book. “That wasn’t very nice of him to say that though, and I think that’s what made him wrong. No one knows that truth for sure. We just have faith. Some people have faith that there are gods, others have faith that there is one god, and some people have faith that there isn’t. We can only have faith in what we believe is right.” I watch the skyline too now, the beauty of the sun dipping below the buildings unbelievable.

The caw grows louder and I can hear the beating of wings as my friend approaches from wherever she may be now.

“You are allowed to believe whatever you want to believe and no one can take that away from you,” I reassure before taking her hand in mine and looking back at the schoolyard where other kids play.

Then we’re silent again. Heather’s raven black hair is blown backward by the wind. We both swing back and forth simultaneously as to not put any strain on each other’s arm.

“I’d like to be reincarnated as a crow,” she mumbles randomly. “I like crows. They’re pretty and smart.” I smile and look at my best friend.

“You’d be a really good crow,” I say back, confidence lining each letter. I think of what I’d like to be reincarnated as. I’ve never taken too much of an interest in most animals until Heather began pointing them all out to me, calling them by both there scientific name and short names. I think if I wanted to be reincarnated as anything, I’d want to be Heather’s sister.

Heather purses her lips, a habit I had noticed her mother doing when she would occasionally pick her up from school. She turns towards me, the chains holding the swing up creaking quietly. “Do you believe in magic, Y/N?” she asks. Her eyes lock onto me. I look down at my muddy shoes as I swing forward a bit, the only thing reminding me not to go so high I could fly away being the strain of Heather’s hand holding mine. Once my feet rub against the wood chips again, sending them flying to the sides, I look around.

“Icarus!” I shout, my voice cracking with every syllable but I find that I don’t care. I can hear my friend coming to me. Her wings flapping as hard as possible to reach me.

I twist towards Heather again, this time an intensity has settled into my eyes. “You have to promise not to tell anyone, okay Heather?” My friend gives me a confused look. “You need to pinky promise you will never, ever tell another soul about what I’m going to show you. Do you pinky promise on your life you won’t?” Heather glances around, almost looking for confirmation of what I just said.

“Yes?” she whispers back, the response sounding more like a question than a promise. I accept it though and pull my hands away from the metal chains. Hesitantly, I cup them and place them against my lips, beginning a simple conjuring spell. I watch closely as the young me executes the spell completely and places her two closed hands in Heather’s open ones. Slowly, she opens them, revealing a tiny butterfly.

“Icarus!” I try again. My hair whips over my face as I turn quickly, the direction fo where the noise is coming from still hard to decipher.

Heather’s jaw drops as she looks at my creation. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my lips as she raises the butterfly to inspect the small thing. I giggle lightly and raise her hands into the air, releasing the butterfly so that it may fly somewhere where it will be safe from the strong winds.

“So,” Heather drones as she watches the dark blue creature disappear, “you’re like a witch.” I chuckle again.

“I guess,” I confirm. “I like to think I’m a good witch though.” Heather’s grip on my hand tightens and she pulls me closer, nearly yanking me right off the swing.

“You’re like Glinda,” she yelps joyfully. “Glinda the good witch!”

One last screech is released into the void, the noise reverberating all around me. Then the beating of wings finishes and I’m left to wait and see if what I heard was real and not just me going mad.

All of the sudden I feel a pulse of energy behind me. I don’t dare turn around out of fear of what it could be. My father, done tormenting me and finally collecting me from this place so that he can take me to his "utopia". Dormammu, who has broken his promise and instead trapped me here with him so he may torture me with my own deepest fears. My friends. My family, standing around me, all of them dead because there was never any hope of us all surviving in the first place.

“Hey Glinda,” a melodious voice says behind me, shocking me straight from my imagination. I dare not turn around as I track the familiarity of the voice. I think of how every syllable sounds like a ballad, how there is a natural trill in her voice one would believe took years to master. I think of her voice, an eternal hymn that people sing on their holy grounds. My heart skips a beat, then another, and then it starts racing again, the realization dawning over me like the sun rising over the New York skyscrapers.

I walk past the alleyway next to our deteriorated apartments. It takes me only a second to sense something wrong before I turn down the dark street. Then I see them. My father and Heather. She has her hands weakly raised above her head, fearing and preparing for the next blow.

I stand and take a deep breath before finally turning to look her in the eye. Her pale purple irises stare right into mine, unafraid to look at me after so many years of being apart. She has developed a natural wave in her once entirely straight, obsidian hair. It dips just past her shoulders. Her smile is glowing with pure white teeth, the sight of something so sincere so striking in this strange place.

He doesn’t go for her head though. He conjures a blade in his hand instead and thrusts it straight into her abdomen. And then everything's a blur.

My magic thrumming inside as I use it to throw him away from my best friend. My sister. He flies ten yards and then collides with a brick wall. Even though I have stopped him I know I haven’t won because I see Heather gasping for air. Her entire face coated with her own dark blood, her hand reaching towards me, and the beautiful purple I love more than anything in the world, the strange and lovely mutation she was named for is fading from her eyes, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

All I can do is cry as I drag her to the hospital, praying that she’ll get the chance to be reincarnated as a crow.

I take one step forward, then another, and then I feel as though I’m floating towards the girl who has, despite the four-month difference, grown slightly taller than me. She waits, patient as ever while I approach, fearing deep in my heart that if I go to quick she may disappear like she did all those years ago. All of the sudden, I’m standing right in front of her. My hand lifts without my permission and brushes against the skin of her shoulder, testing to make sure she isn’t an illusion.

“Heather?” I ask finally. Her smile grows wider somehow as she opens her arms to embrace me.

“I'm here,” she begins, "and you can always call me Icarus if you like that better." And then I’m hugging her tight. Tighter than I’ve ever held anyone. Heather laughs happily and pulls me against her as well, and suddenly all the pain of carrying her quaking body into the hospital emergency room fades. I can no longer feel the way her blood felt coating my hands or the way she whispered my name as the nurse brought her to the emergency room.

And there are so many questions I could ask. How long has she been with me for? Did she plan on falling into the courtyard that day or was that a simple coincidence? How many times did she come back? How many times until she finally came back as the crow? As my Icarus?

I find no reason to ask though. Heather’s here now. My sister, who was the first member of my peculiar family is holding me against her no longer petite body, her love for me rolling from her heart in droves and warming up every aching muscle in my body. As she and I are clinging to each other I think of every crow I ever saw after her death. I think of them all as Heather. Heather watching over me every day like a guardian angel. Heather coming back over and over again as her favorite animal, becoming my own personal flock to protect me no matter what.

____________

A/N: First thing first, Heather is based off a character in the book I’m writing. Secondly, she’s going to be really important to the story line if I decide to do my really stupid thing! YAY❤️❤️❤️

If you would like to be tagged shoot me a message in my inbox or comment below. Please reblog if you guys enjoyed to let others know about the story.❤️❤️❤️❤️

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[thenameofaslan]

Hey, The Name of Aslan followers! 

Currently we stand at 7 members, and to keep things unique, instead of using existing character names, we will be going by Narnia-inspired names we created ourselves! Our names are Veriele, Ailora, Gianah, Astriella, Haaven, Lailenah, and Elledia. Allow us to introduce ourselves! Below we will be sharing some facts about ourselves & our interest in Narnia. 

Hello! I’m Veriele!

Favourite book:

My favourite book tends to change a lot. Of course The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is a classic, and in and of itself it’s possibly the most magical story of the 7. However, I also love The Magician’s Nephew for the beautiful creation of Narnia it shows us. Then The Horse and His Boy really stands out from the other books, and I love the characters and their growth so much. But I think when it comes down to it, The Last Battle holds the most special place in my heart. The ending chapters are so full of life and beauty. The parade of returning characters in Aslan’s Country is stunning and hits my nostalgic heart hard. And those final lines just fill my heart with joy! It’s a hard choice, as the entire series is absolutely lovely, but I do think The Last Battle stands out to me most of all.

Favourite Aslan quote:

I love a lot of Aslan’s lines, but I think my top 3 are “Courage, dear heart,” “Do not dare not to dare,” and “Now you are a lioness.”

Favourite Bible verse:

In the entire Bible it’s hard to choose just one, but Revelation 21:5a fills me with a special kind of joy. “He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’”

Songs that remind me of Narnia:

A lot of songs remind me of Narnia, but to name a few: Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, North by Sleeping At Last, and Long Live by Taylor Swift.

What kind of content or art I make/enjoy:

I make edits, analytical posts, and I write the occasional fic!

Hi everyone, I’m Ailora!

Favorite book:

For the Christian themes, my favorite will always be The Last Battle. The ending few chapters make me cry. I also love the atmosphere of Voyage of the Dawn Treader, especially the ending.

Favorite Aslan scene:

It’s so hard to choose just one. I guess I’d have to say the scene where Aslan appears and walks beside Cor on the mountain pass in HAHB. I love Aslan’s gentleness with Cor, but also the sense of wonder when he starts to reveal himself and how he’s been acting in Cor’s story. I love that during the entire scene, Aslan is walking beside Cor to protect him from falling off the mountain, and also that he is guiding Cor to exactly the place he needs to be. I love Cor’s response to seeing Aslan, and I love that Aslan leaves him a footprint-full of cold water at the end. It’s just a beautiful picture of God’s provision and love and kindness and knowledge of us.

Favorite Bible verse:

Again, hard to choose. But for now I’ll say Ephesians 3:17-19: “That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

Hi, I’m Gianah.

How I got interested in Narnia:

I got interested in Narnia when my friend forced me to watch The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I immediately bought the collection of all seven books, joined tumblr and then got even more obsessed with it. Once I found out other people actually really liked the series, I started to be more invested. The rest is history.

Favourite Bible Verse:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ 29:11

Kinds of art or content I enjoy/make:

I love both writing and painting/ drawing. I love making analysis texts so much, and also narrative texts.

Hey everyone! I'm Astriella :)

How I got into Narnia:

I've loved Narnia since I was about twelve, when I was first allowed to read the books (I think I burned through all 7 in about a month!). Even then I loved finding “hidden meanings” in stuff and Narnia is a treasure trove of allegory and allusion!

My favourite non-human character:

My favorite has to be Jewel the Unicorn.  Both because unicorns are amazing and majestic and all, but because of his loyalty for Tirian, his sacrificial love, and his gentle gentility.

My favorite Aslan moment: 

It has to be from VotDT, from the Dark Island where nightmares come true.  Lucy, up in the crow’s-nest, looks down on the havoc and chaos on deck as the sailors panic in terror, and whispers to Aslan, begging for help. And help comes in the form of an albatross, which circles the crow’s-nest before leading the ship to safety; but in that moment Lucy hears Aslan’s voice whisper to her, “Courage, dear heart.” That scene means a lot to me because anxiety always provides plenty of possible nightmares, but I know my God will lead me to safety and He gives me courage.

Hello! I’m Haaven!

How I got interested in Narnia:

 I literally cannot remember a time when I wasn’t. I grew up on the series. My true obsession with it, however, would have begun in about 4th grade when I found the entire series in the school library and read them all for the first time.

When/how I became a Christian?

 I could talk for a very long time on this, but I’ll try to keep in short(ish). I grew up in a Christian home so I always kind of knew  that I needed Jesus, but I didn’t know how to go about it. I was also the most shy person you would ever meet, so I wasn’t about to ask anyone how, either. But then when I was ten, I went to church camp for one week during the summer for the first time. (I wasn’t sure I really wanted to go, but my mom convinced me with, “Well, your sister will be there, so you’ll be fine!” haha.) And, I guess you could say, the rest is history (since this is the short version, haha). :P

Favorite Narnia-esque songs:

 I have so many, but I will limit myself to three: All the King’s Horses by Karmina (totally an Edmund/ movie!PC!Peter/ Eustace song!), Up All Night by David Archuleta (okay, yes, I know this is a love song, but if you think about it as Lucy and Aslan especially in LWW… It’s adorable, okay?!?), and Beautifully Broken by Plumb (sort of a post-Last Battle Susan song).

Hi! My name is Lailenah.

Favorite non-human Narnia character:

This is a tough question, because the majority of my faves aren’t human! Hwin and Bree, Mr. Tumnus, Reepicheep, the centaurs, and then of course Aslan in his completely own category...But I’m going to have to go with Puddleglum because I LOVE him. Many heroes tend to be optimistic, hopeful, and outgoing people, but Puddleglum’s the opposite. And yet he’s still a very caring, courageous, and loyal individual; he stays true to his faith and encourages the others to do the same, especially in the scene where the Green Witch tries to enchant them so they deny that the world above and Aslan exist. And when everything is at its most hopeless point, he’s the one to offer hope in the form of, “We’re just four babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play world that licks your world hollow. That’s why I’m on Aslan’s side, even if there’s no Aslan to lead it.” He’s not a ray of sunshine, but he can be a gleam in the darkest places, when it’s most needed. And sometimes I feel like as a Christian, some people expect that you must always be “joyful” (aka wear a cheerful smile, be optimistic, and act outgoing) to be a good witness and influential for Christ. But Puddleglum reminds me that I can be real, I can be honest, and I can be an encouragement to others even when I am at a low point (in fact, being with others during their low points because I understand how it feels might be when I am most needed!). My faith and my effectiveness to others as a Christian is not less because I am not an extrovert. It is not less because I struggle mentally and feel exhausted because of anxious or depressed thoughts. No. I was created the way I am for a reason. I have the challenges I have for a reason. We all do, and that’s okay. No matter our differences, we’re not less than anyone else in God’s loving eyes, and He has a unique time and place for each of us to serve as His light as Puddleglum did.

Favorite Narnia book:

It’s always been the Last Battle. I love how intense it gets in this book, how the evil is overwhelming, the stakes are high, and the battle between right and wrong is at its climax. It feels like the good guys are losing as their already sparse armies dwindle, and the main characters are being forced into the stable. Sometimes that sense of being overwhelmed mirrors how I feel when I look at all the scary, sad, and bad things happening in the world today, but I’m encouraged by the characters who still are soldiers for Aslan’s cause, who keep going and trusting in what’s right in spite of that and in spite of the fact that can’t see what’s coming next. And then, of course, Aslan’s country. I love seeing all the familiar faces from throughout the series and the joy and rest they find in eternity with Aslan and their loved one. It shows that it truly is worth it all.

What kind of content or art I make/enjoy:

I have always loved to write!  So fanfiction and meta are definitely my favorite ways to participate. Bet you couldn’t tell that I tend to drone on. ;)  (I also make mood boards on occasion.)

Hi, Elledia here!

Favourite book: 

A Horse and His Boy or Silver Chair

What age we got interested in Narnia: 

I SAY 7, but I grew up watching the BBC miniseries, so I don’t know for sure.

Favourite Aslan quote:

 “And I was the Lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”

When/how I became a Christian:

 Raised in the church/missionary brat. I decided when I was around eight that I wanted to be baptized and though there’ve been some bumps along the way, I’m growing in Christ as best as I can.

Narnia-esque songs: 

“If You Want Me To” by Ginny Owens reminds me a lot of Narnia, for some reason.

Kinds of art or content I enjoy/make:

 I write, so fanfic and metas are my thing, but I enjoy all kinds of art.

Anyways, it’s great to meet you all! We hope to interact with you all more in the future, and as we begin creating original posts for this blog. Our ask box is open, should you have any questions! Thanks for following us! <3

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Emotional abuse in platonic relationships (long)

My tumblr is usually my escapism fun zone, but it’s time for a quick serious talk.

I've been in a few emotionally abusive platonic relationships and was always frustrated that nearly every help article I read online was written primarily for cis women in a hetero, romantic relationship. Most guides talked about physical violence, sex, and a whole slew of other circumstances I did not experience.

Unfortunately, emotional abusive is not limited just to romantic relationships. Platonic relationships, especially long-term or otherwise intense ones (for example, those that spawn in fandom and minority spaces), can be just as difficult to recognize, confront, and escape.

I thought it might be helpful to outline patterns of abuse I have experienced in a platonic relationship with someone of the same gender. These abuse tactics are forms of control and most are intended to isolate and break down the victim. While it’s easy to write off behaviors individually, together, they form destructive and very deliberate patterns.

More below the cut. I’ve sat on this article for about 3 years to help distance myself from these bad friendships and make sure it wasn’t just me lashing out in the moment. Some of this content may be triggering for emotional and sexual abuse and transphobia.

Note: I'm writing this from the perspective of a trans man. These examples and quotes (some paraphrased) are real things told to me by various abusers. While the examples are very specific to me in some cases, the overall behavior is not.

1. Abusers carefully monitor and audit their victim's activity. Abusers constantly inject themselves into their victim's life and interrogate their victim when they're not included in something. 

Examples:

·         "I saw you check-in at the movies last night, why didn't you invite me?"

·         "I can't believe you took your mom to the new restaurant I've been wanting to go to."

·         "You never invite me to events with your grade school friends when they are in town."

2.  Abusers follow their victims into places they'd otherwise not have an interest, in order to stalk and exert control. Example:

·         Be wary of abusers who only start using social media when you do, especially if they only follow you and primarily vague-blog criticism and threats

3.  Abusers criticize their victim for not being supportive enough, even when the victim is actively supporting them. Example:

·         ::while hanging out together:: "You never hang out with me."

4.  Abusers constantly keep score... but only when it's in their favor. Example:

·         When I was unemployed and he was taking home more in a week than I could scrape together in a few months: “You should buy me this more expensive birthday present because you owe for me gas to the movies from a few months ago."

5.  Abusers use personal information to engage in social currency pissing matches and even blackmail. Examples:

·         "Oh, you're X's friend, too? [Let me tell you some in-jokes that embarrass my victim friend or establish I’m the superior friend due to having a long history.]”

·         "You wouldn't be where you are today if I wasn't the first person you came out to."

·         “You wouldn’t be so successful if I hadn’t introduced you to Y.”

6.  Abusers isolate their victims from work, friends, and family. Abusers consistently criticize their victim's family and friends. They focus on demonizing people/entities, rather than behaviors. Examples:

·         "I hate your job." vs "I hate when your work schedule interferes with our plans."

·         "I hate your friends." vs "I hate when your friends are pessimistic about this game."

7. Abusers are quick to demonize former relationships as a way of confirming their friendship is the superior one. Examples:

·         "Your ex was such a stupid bitch."

·         "I'm glad you don't hang out with those moochers anymore."   

8. When abusers can't isolate their victim from their friends/family, they use friends/family as leverage. Examples:

·         “Are you sure you can’t go to this event with me? Let me ask your partner.”

·         “Don’t tell me I can’t afford this, your mom can just loan me some money.”

9.  Abusers consider everything an immutable promise to set you up for failure. Examples

·         "You promised we'd see a movie at 7pm, I don't care that there's an emergency at your office, you’re a terrible friend for not hanging out with me."

10.   Abusers are hypocrites, especially when it comes to standards of friendship. Example:

·         "Respect is the most important thing to me..." :: consistently uses sexist language when asked not to::

11.   Abusers reduce every conflict to being about them and put their needs first. Example:

·         "I can't believe you'd spring on me that your partner is bigender."

12. Abusers treat your ability to care about something/one as a finite resource to be competed over. Example:

"You care more about [online trans friend who has been feeling suicidal] than you care about me."

12.   Abusers claim their victim's passions for their own as another stalking/control tactic and way to ignore seeing their victim as an actualized person with diverse interests/needs. Examples:

·         "That's really great fan art you drew, is it for me?

·         "Your cosplay is awesome, where's my costume?"

·         I've had a few abusers write really awkward self-insert fanfics that played out like fandom bingo in an attempt to garner my favor.

13.   Abusers will often try to mimic their victim's successes, but only in a superficial way and will blame the victim for their failures. Examples:

·         "I started a blog, but no one is following me because you're not promoting my posts enough."

·         "You told me to keep drawing, but still no one likes my art. It's all your fault."

14.   Abusers turn their victim's passions against them. Abusers ridicule their victim's interests, beliefs, etc. Examples:

·         "It isn't fair you're so talented. I'm totally worthless compared to you."

·         "I've lost you and everything I cared about to a mediocre movie (that you love so much)."

·         "SJWs and trans-trenders stole you away from me."

·         "You're always so angry about trans stuff, I want the old (depressed, submissive) you back."

15.   Abusers interfere with their victim’s work/school/sleep to keep them off-guard. Examples:

·         :: numerous texts demanding an immediate reply during a busy work day or on a commute::

·         :: threats at 3am ::

16.   Abusers forcefully involve victims in their plans and control their schedule without warning. Examples:

·         There was a period of time in which I didn't drive much do to being poor, and an abuser took advantage of that to force me into going to places to watch him buy things for an hour or more before dropping me off at home.

·         Another abuser would just start following me at conventions, into panels, vendor rooms, sit down at lunch, etc.

17.   Abusers pressure victims to make decisions that are financially and/or otherwise harmful to their victim. Example:

·         “Buy this $300 wargaming army so we can finally do fun stuff together.”

(I was spending hundreds of dollars a month I couldn't afford trying to keep up with my abuser's frequently changing interests, all of which were framed as critical to maintaining our friendship.)

18.   Abusers minimize or ridicule their victim’s problems, especially when compared to their own.

Examples:

·         "Moving my birthday party to tomorrow is just as bad as when someone misgenders you."

·         ���I can’t believe you’re skipping out on hanging with me this weekend.”

(Said when I was finally confronting my hoarding problem and had been up for 24+ hours doing an aggressive cleanout.)

19.   Abusers make their victims doubt their self-worth. Example:

·         "Your blog is just whoring for attention. You're such a narcissist." (said while I was finally starting to like my body as a trans person)

20.   Abusers gaslight and misrepresent events in order to cast doubt on your memory & concerns. Example:

·         "That never happened that way. Once again, I'm always right."

21.   Abusers are unpredictable with their praise and criticism, which makes the victim further question themselves.

22.   Abusers constantly demand positive reinforcement, often publicly. Example:

·         "Tell me why you're still friends with me."

·         "Name one good thing about me."

·         “You didn’t credit that I took that photo you posted on Tumblr, don’t you care about me? Go edit your post now.”

23.   Abusers make their victim feel they are responsible for the abuser's well-being. Abusers turn their victim into a commodity. Examples:

·         "My life would fall apart without you." ·        ”I need my BFF time!”

·         "You don’t care about me. I'm going to kill myself."

(Note: I take suicide threats seriously and it’s outside the scope of this article to discuss self-harm threats as abuse tactics vs mental illness.)

24.   Abusers publicly (and often threateningly) communicate in a way that is obscure to everyone... but sends a very clear message to you. Examples:

·         "I hate birds. Especially crows." (My partner's goes by the name Crow.)

·        ::flood of memes on Facebook about “real friends” after a fight::

25.   Abusers only apologize to make themselves feel better. Example:

·         "If I apologize, will you stop being mad at me?" vs "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

26.   Abusers rationalize specific instances of abuse to deflect from overall abusive patterns. Examples:

·         "I'm just really stressed right now, you know that work is killing me."

·         :: various co-opting the language of social justice & concern-trolling ::

27.   Abusers blame their victims for their abuse. Examples:

·         "I wouldn't have screamed at you in public if you hadn't made me so angry!"

·         "I was just joking, you're too sensitive."

28.   Abusers place their relationship above all others. Examples:

·         "I can't believe you extended your (first) date instead of hanging out with me."

·         “Why did you go out to dinner with your mom instead of hanging out with me?”

29.   Abusers set unrealistic expectations of how much you should interact. Example:

·         One of mine would get demanding if we didn't text every few hours, hang out virtually several hours each evening, and in-person every weekend.

30.   Abusers state they'll do anything for their victim, but never deliver on this promise, often berating their victim for even asking for help. Example:

·         "I'd do anything for you...", followed by, "... I can't believe you asked me to help you move"

31.   Abusers often make an effort to be charming and even caring in public. This makes the victim feel like they're the only ones suffering abuse, and thus, it must be their fault.

32.   Abusers pretend to reform, but it's mainly a tactic to shut down further criticism. Example:

·         "You're right, I'm a terrible person. I promise I'll change. Can we talk about something else now?"

33.   Abusers demand their victims be complicit in their abuse by redefining the nature of friendship and pressuring their victim to not question the abuse. Examples:

·         "A real friend would never criticize me." ·         "A real friend would agree with everything I do.”

34.   Abusers spend more and more of their time with their victim discussing their failings as a friend. Example:

·         “I told [mutual friend] about what you’ve been doing and she agrees with me that you’re a horrible friend.”

35. Abusers want you to swear allegiance to them, especially very early in a relationship. Example: ·         “Let’s get matching BFF tattoos.”

36. Abusers frame conversations they haven’t been invited to as talking/plotting behind their backs. Example:

·         In response to a side chat in which my grade school friends & I talked about family updates, etc: “I can’t believe you set up your own private chat without me. Traitor.”

37. Abusers constantly define and redefine their victim’s identity. Examples: ·        ”Trans men who want [x] shouldn’t consider themselves men.” ·       ”You are the ‘best of both worlds’” (A gross allusion to my transness and a prelude to later telling me he wanted to fuck me.)

38. Abusers police their victim’s appearance, even if it is harmful. Example: ·      “I don’t want you starting hormones. I want you to stay the way you are.”

39.  Abusers use call-outs as excuses for even more abuse and blame victims for feeling victimized. Examples:

·         “When you talk about this with other people, it makes me feel bad, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

·         Abusers I’ve left instantly reacted with rage that made me feel unsafe.

40. Abusers feign concern as segues into making demands. Example: ·      “Are you OK after the hurricane? Btw, I saw your latest cosplay photos, how about we coordinate a new cosplay for me?”

Not all abusers use all of these tactics, and a behavior in and of itself does not necessarily mean someone is an abuser. It’s especially difficult to identify abuse if you and/or your abuser is disadvantaged, have a mental illness, etc. The key is to recognize a consistent pattern of abuse.

Platonic abuse has serious consequences: Stress, depression, anxiety… it can cause physical health problems, financial disaster, and destroy healthy relationships.

Even when you escape, you may spend years recovering and unlearning coping behaviors originally developed to minimize/deflect abuse. In my case, I got into the habit of lying about my plans because I didn't want to be read the riot act that I hadn't invited my abuser to something intimate, like a mother's day dinner or a date. So now, my current gut reaction when asked where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing, what I’ve bought is to *lie* or shut down, and I HATE IT.

But, I'm happy that I've been learning how to identify and distance myself from toxic people. Unpacking my personal abuse is a slow, often painful process, but I hope it helps folks who have found themselves in similar relationships.

Platonic abuse is real and we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it.

[han-made-bookbinding]

The Fables of Æsop

This blog post is about a binding that was actually actually completed in September of last year for the 3rd International Designer Bookbinders Competition. Given the anonymous nature of the competition I have waited until now to do a write up about it and have also held back on posting up anything on social media between now and the announcement of the prizes (although it was very tempting to do so!).

In December of last year I was thrilled to find out I was one of the 28 prizewinning binders. There were 194 entries from 31 countries and 74 bindings in total were selected to make up the “Heroic Works” travelling exhibition. The private view and prize giving took place on Monday 17th July when I learnt I was one of the twenty-five “Disinguished Winners”, earning myself a wonderful little Doric column award with my name engraved onto the top.

Andrea Odametey of Germany took first prize with her beautiful paper binding of "Daedelus and Icarus". The strips of paper are fixed crossways in two planes and are ordered like the feathers of wings.

Second prize went to Rachel Ward-Sale of the UK with her wonderful binding of "The Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite". The design of her binding was inspired by broken Greek pottery and the Japanese technique kintsugi, where precious metals are applied to repair and enhance it. Andrea Odametey's binding has been given to the Bodleian Library and Rachel Ward-Sale's to the Getty Collection at Wormsley.

The bindings are currently on display in the spacious Blackwell Hall on the ground floor of The Weston Library, part of the Bodleian Libraries at the University of Oxford. It opened to the public in March 2015 following a three-year transformation, the refurbishment turned the 1930′s Grade II listed building into both a world class research library and a new visitor space with exhibition galleries, a lecture theatre, a cafe and shop.

The theme of the competition was, “Myths, Heroes and Legends”, a wide and open field from which to choose a text. I searched online for a text block that would fit the brief and settled upon a 1909 Hodder and Stoughton publication of “The Fables of Æsop”, with wonderful illustrations by Edward J. Detmold.

I have a particular penchant for nature, especially birds, so this book felt like a natural choice for me given the number of bird and animal related fables. Given the three dimensional nature of a book, and therefore the different possibilities for decoration, it gave me scope to select a variety of the fables and illustrate each separately on different parts of the binding.

It so happened that at the time of working on this binding I was living in Queens Park in London and at the annual “Queens Park Day” there was an Eagle and Vulture display team, Eagle Heights, there doing a show - we came within centimetres of some of the most awe-inspiring birds of prey in the world! What better place to do a bit of feather-related research...

The first task was to chose the fables I wanted to illustrate and where they were all going to be placed, listed as follows:

________________________________________________________________

‘THE OAK AND THE REEDS’ – The box

A very large Oak was uprooted by the wind, and thrown across a stream. It fell among some Reeds, which it thus addressed: 'I wonder how you, who are so light and weak, are not entirely crushed by these strong winds.' They replied, 'You fight and contend with the wind, and consequently you are destroyed; while we on the contrary bend before the least breath of air, and therefore remain unbroken, and escape.' - Stoop to conquer.

‘THE EAGLE AND THE ARROW’ – Front cover

An Eagle sat on a lofty rock, watching the movements of a Hare, whom he sought to make his prey. An archer who saw him from a place of concealment, took an accurate aim, and wounded him mortally. The Eagle gave one look at the arrow that had entered his heart, and saw in that single glance that its feathers had been furnished by himself. 'It is a double grief to me,' he exclaimed, 'that I should perish by an arrow feathered from my own wings.' - A consciousness of misfortunes arising from a man's own misconduct aggravates their bitterness.

‘THE HEN AND THE GOLDEN EGGS’ -  The 3D hen atop of the front book edge and the front doublure

A Cottager and his wife had a Hen, which laid every day a golden egg. They supposed that it must contain a great lump of gold in its inside, and killed it in order that they might get it, when to their surprise they found that the Hen differed in no respect from their other hens. The foolish pair, thus hoping to become rich all at once, deprived themselves of the gain of which they were day by day assured.

‘THE FISHERMAN AND THE LITTLE FISH’ - The edge decoration and the front and back endpapers

A Fisherman who lived on the produce of his nets, one day caught a single small fish as the result of his day's labour. The fish, panting convulsively, thus entreated for his life: 'Oh Sir, what good can I be to you, and how little am I worth? I am not yet come to my full size. Pray spare my life, and put me back into the sea. I shall soon become a large fish, fit for the tables of the rich; and then you can catch me again, and make a handsome profit of me.' The Fisherman replied, 'I should indeed be a very simple fellow, if, for the chance of a greater uncertain profit, I were to forego my present certain gain.'

‘THE SWALLOW AND THE CROW’ - The 3D crow and swallow atop of the back book edge and the back doublure

The Swallow and the Crow had a contention about their plumage. The crow put and end to the dispute by saying: 'Your feathers are all very well in the spring, but mine protect me against the winter.' - Fine weather friends are not worth much.

‘THE ANT AND THE DOVE’ - The back cover

An Ant went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and, being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of being drowned. A Dove, sitting on a tree overhanging the water, plucked a leaf, and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant, climbing on to it, floated in safety to the bank. Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. He suddenly threw down the twigs, and thereupon made the Dove take wing. - The grateful heart will always find opportunities to show its gratitude.

________________________________________________________________

Once I had worked out the design I set about pulling the book. The original text block contained numerous illustrations from drawings by Edward J. Detmold plus 23 original tipped-in colour plates.

Unfortunately the plates had been tipped onto a paper that had quite badly deteriorated over time through fading, and the edges had had a lot of wear. I therefore decided to carefully remove the images from these pages, pressed each of them flat, and sourced a new paper on which to re-mount them. 

The best match I could find colour and weight-wise was 312 Dark Green Hahnemuhle Bugra Butten paper from John Purcell Paper. As I knew I wanted to decorate the edges of the text block, rather than tipping in the colour plates before re-binding, instead I tipped in waste sheets to compensate for their thickness. I also made sure the waste sheets were the same size as the book‘s pages so that they would span right to the edges of the text block in order to have a level edge to aid me when doing the edge decoration. These were to be removed at the end and replaced with the colour plates.

In the process of pulling the book I realised it was going to be necessary to repair the spine folds of the sections where the original sewing holes had been as they were quite large and vulnerable. I did this using Japanese tissue (dyed to the same shade as the paper of the pages) and paste.

I chose to use the endpapers to illustrate the fable of “The Fisherman and the Little Fish” and wanted to print a net onto them. I inked up the net using some black lithographic ink and a roller, then laid it onto paper and pressed it hard in the nipping press.

In order to get the net printed in exactly the correct place on the page so that it could run around the book edge continuously from the front to the back I had to carefully map out where to print it. I made a paper frame upon which I could stick the netting to in order to print it in the right place on the page.

Once inked up, the page was laid within the frame and the whole thing was pressed in a nipping press.

The printed pages were left to dry for a few days and were then made up into the endpapers. Before laminating these with a folded sheet I cut out a small fish and backed it with gold leaf, to illustrate “The Little Fish” in the fable. The sections were then individually pressed before being sewn onto 4 tapes using a link stitch.

The book was squared up and placed between boards under a weight and the spine edge was glued with PVA.

Once dry, the shoulders were marked onto the outer edge of the text block and placed between backing boards. The spine was rounded and backed before being glued up and lined with linen between the tapes.

I was then able to sand the three edges flat in preparation for the edge decoration. Firstly I clamped the book tight in a press and made up a template for the top edge which I tacked in place with a couple of small pieces of masking tape.

Through small holes I had pierced out of the template I was able to pencil in the joins of the net. I then removed the template and inked in the net using a fine nibbed pen.

Given it was hard to accurately print the net on the front and back endpapers exactly in the correct place it was necessary to slightly elongate the netting across the spine to match. I started by drawing guide lines in with pencil and worked out the spacing manually. I then inked in the lines.

The end result was quite satisfying...

For the headbands I worked with black and cream thread, working them in a pattern to continue the grid of the net on the top edge.

Before lacing on the boards It was necessary for me to fix three metal tubes into the board edges. These were in order to insert some three dimensional characters into the board edges - a part of the overall final design. Firstly I cut some channels into the core of the board using a jeweller’s piercing saw.

I then encapsulated some square profile metal rod into the channels by laminating watercolour paper each side.

A hole was drilled down the centre of the square rod in order to fit a 1mm gauge pin which would later be topped with some carved figures. The edge of the board was then sanded to a bevel all the way around.

The boards were then laced on and back-cornered.

It was then time to work on the leather, starting with the onlays. The leather I used for the onlays was the split/suede side of a variety of coloured skins that I coloured with watered-down white acrylic paint. This gave me the colour and texture I wanted for what was to become the feathers of the two wings on the cover design.

These onlays were then stuck down in place on the covering leather with PVA through a tracing paper template, first the dove’s wing on the back...

...then the eagle wing on the front, starting with the larger bottom feathers...

...building up to the smaller feathers on the top of the wing in a lighter colour.

Once these were done I was able to back-pare the leather and begin the embroidery process. Firstly I worked on the outlines of each of the individual feathers, pricking the holes first using a needle bodkin. I then used a Holbein stitch that was further whipped around with a thread of the same colour.

I used a different thread colour for each of the layers.

I then added the central quill shaft of each feather before adding the linear vanes to each using a couching stitch to tie down the long threads.

Next I added shorter threads to add a tonal effect on each of the feathers.

And added further stitches to each of the quill shafts in contrasting coloured threads.

The reverse of the leather began to take on a life of it’s own too!

The topmost feathers then got the same treatment.

Finally, metallic threads were also woven in underneath the stitches of the vanes, copper in colour for the largest great feathers...

The same method was used for the wing of the dove on the reverse using threads in white, light greys, gold and silver.

The water ripples on the back cover of the book were first machine sewn using a sewing machine and then they were whipped by hand in a thread of the same colour.

Finally a “floating” leaf made from gold leaf adhered to Japanese paper was stuck down in the centre of the circular ripples. 

The body of a black ant was inlaid onto the leaf and the legs sewn on top of it, along with some veins on the leaf.

Once the embroidery was complete the leather was damped on the front with an atomiser and then paste applied to the back.

Despite all of the embroidery the leather stayed pretty flat and went down onto the book easily - always a relief!

A couple of days later, once the paste had dried, it was possible to open up the book boards by dampening the outer joint with water. I could then stick down the leather joints and infill the insides of the boards.

The front and back endpapers were devised to work with the little three dimensional characters I had designed to sit on the board edges. The same gold leaf on Japanese paper (as used of the leaf on the back cover of the book) was used here. On the back endpaper featured some swallow feathers for “The Swallow and The Crow” fable... 

...and on the front some golden eggs for the fable of “The Hen and The Golden Eggs”.

I don’t often title my books but decided on this occasion I would like to title both the book and the chosen fables featured on it. In order to tie each of them into the design I tooled individual letters onto punched circles, firstly onto paper. 

These were then adhered in place on the endpapers and doublures of the binding using PVA glue and tweezers to place them down correctly.

I added extra circular “bubbles” in a variety of blues to illustrate the watery sea that the fishing net was in.

I then did the same for the cover, tooling the titles onto leather circles.

For “The Eagle and the Arrow” fable, before gluing the title down the circles were placed in position in order to work out the tooling of the arrow heads.

The gold tooling of the arrow heads could then be done using Moon gold.

And finally the title of the book was tooled in Moon gold leaf using larger handle letters, on larger circles of leather. These were stuck down on the spine section of the binding, following the curved lines of the water ripples.

From the onset of working on this binding I knew I wanted to do something to take it to the next level - it was for a competition after all! I decided the way to do this would be to make some small three-dimensional pieces to sit on the boards of the book, but to be removable so as not to be impractical. I decided to carve some birds to illustrate two of the fables that I had chosen to feature on the doublures.

I worked out how large the three birds in question (a hen, swallow and crow) needed to be in scale to one another. I then used some little blocks of tulip wood that were first roughly cut to shape with a junior hacksaw.

These were then shaped using files and sandpaper until I was happy with the end result.

Pins were glued into a drilled hole to make the legs. One was left long as this would be the pin that was going to push into the metal tube inserted into the boards. The other was left short enough so that when the wire legs were formed the foot would sit on the top edge of the board to stop it from spinning.

Paper feathers were cut for each of the birds in the relevant colours, including some feathers cut out of the Japanese paper/gold leaf lamination. 

The wooden forms were then painted with acrylics ahead of the feathers being stuck to them using PVA. The feet were formed using wire and a spot of glue added to the base of the feet to keep them in place.

Once all of the feathers were added the beaks were painted and little eyes added.

With the addition of the three dimensional birds I needed to make a container that would house them in safely both for storage and for travel, given the books were due to tour as part of the exhibition. I devised a box that had an extra section above where the book was going to sit for the birds to sit in. A piece of wood was machined to slide in and out of the top section upon which the birds were to sit on “perches”.

The box sides were machined from oak with a channel routed into them in which to hold the Diabond lid and base of the box. The Diabond panels were covered in paper to match the look of the endpapers and doublures. A ratchet strap was used to hold the box tight whilst the glue dried and then small brass pins were driven in to hold the corners secure.

The box was lined with paper and oak spacers added to hold the book snugly in place. A ribbon was attached to aid the lifting of the book out of the box.

Finally the spacers that were stuck in at the beginning of the binding process were removed and the original colour plates adhered back in place.

A removable foam cut-out was included in the box to stop the birds from jumping off their perches during travel!

The book was delivered to Oxford and then the waiting commenced...! 

I am now pleased to share the details of this binding and have now posted it onto my website at the following link:

The Fables of Æsop

I will leave you some photos of the final binding...

[theyearoftheking]

Book Forty-Nine: Black House

“Here is a true American loner, an internal vagrant, a creature of shabby rooms and cheap diners, of aimless journeys resentfully taken, a collector of wounds and injuries lovingly fingered and refingered. Here is a spy with no cause higher than himself.” 

After almost fifty books, The Talisman still stands at the top of the leader board as my favorite Steve book. It’s richly layered, full of memorable characters and horrible villains, with a satisfying conclusion. It’s the type of book fantasy and horror lovers alike are eager to escape into. 

It’s sometimes hard to embrace the sequel to a book you love so much... I mean, I can be bought, but my criteria are stringent:

Consider setting the book in Wisconsin... perhaps the beautiful, sad, remote, desolate western part of the state right along the Mississippi river.

Maybe a Dahmer reference? 

Scratch that. Instead, go with an old-school serial killer no one really talks about anymore. How about... Albert Fish? He’s pretty gross. 

On second thought, reconsider a Dahmer reference. Maybe an evil spirit that links Dahmer and Fish together? 

TONS of Dark Tower references. 

If Steve and Pete were to consider writing a follow up to The Talisman with all these elements, I might consider reading it. 

Spoiler! 

Dark House contains all this goodness, and more. 

It’s so fucking dark, y’all. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to drive past a long-term care facility and NOT think about an old man inside wanting to eat the buttocks of small children.

Oh hey, trigger warnings for cannibalism, and violence against children. 

So, Dark House is set in fictional Coulee County, Wisconsin (not a place). But Steve and Pete (I need to start giving Peter Straub some shout outs as well) describe the western part of the state magnificently. Not too long ago I had a sales job that required me to travel the entire state, and I always loved my jaunts west. I’d park right along the Mississippi, eat my lunch and just soak up the isolation. I’d much rather make the drive to Pierce county than the Quad Cities, which my current employer is asking of me. *Silent scream for help*

Despite Coulee being fictional, the actual Wisconsin references are thick:

De Pere (where we recently found out Steve spent a few formative years)

The Brewers 

Miller Park 

Kingsland Ale- while fictional, it’s a nod to Wisconsin’s rich brewing history, and favorable climate for microbreweries

Dahmer (several times, actually)

Racine. Y’all. I have no idea what Steve’s obsession is with Racine... it comes up in multiple books. It’s really not that great. Take that from someone who spent a brief period of time working there. Honestly, my favorite thing about Racine is the authentic Thai restaurant right in downtown, Sticky Rice. If you find yourself in Racine, please go check them out... their red devil curry is amaze-balls. 

So, yes... lots of Wisconsin. Also, lots of Dark Tower:

Eye of the King

Crimson King

The Tower

Red roses

Breakers

Little Sisters 

Gunslingers and their weapons

Roland and the ka-tet

Monos! Blaine and Patricia

Chief Breaker Brautigan- who allegedly tells hilarious stories about his escapes. I miss him already. 

I have questions about how Steve convinced Pete to include so many Dark Tower elements into this book...

Steve:  “Pete, bud... I know you might have a different vision for how this book plays out. Buuut what about if we make it part of the Dark Tower universe?”

Pete: Stares for a long minute. “Um, I thought that series was dead in the water. Do we really need to use Dark House to resuscitate it?” 

Steve: “Remember the car accident? You know, the one that almost took my leg?” 

Pete *Oh fuck, he’s bringing up the car accident as a bid for sympathy, and to convince me to make this a Dark Tower book...* “Of course I remember!”

Steve: “Well, it shook some things loose. I’m about ready to finish the series. I just thought it might be fun if we make this book a lead-up to the finale” 

Pete: “It’s intriguing, but I’m not really sure it’s the direction I want to go in. I was thinking more-”

Steve: “I ALMOST DIED IN THAT ACCIDENT!” 

Pete: “Cool, Dark Tower book it is!” 

I should write fan fiction. I’ve obviously got a gift. 

Black House is told from a birds-eye narration view. Literally... there’s this fat, evil crow named Gorg flying all over town, giving us the lay of Coulee County. Bad stuff has been going on: little children have gone missing, and only a few of their bodies have turned back up mutilated and broken. 

The chief of police, Dale Gilbertson, knows he’s in over his head, and keeps trying to convince his pal, retired police detective, Jack “Hollywood” Sawyer to come consult on the case.

Jack isn’t having it. He retired young and moved to Coulee County from Los Angeles after tracking down and arresting serial killer Thorny Kinderling. The majestic beauty of western Wisconsin caught him by surprise, and he happily invested in reasonably priced (read: cheap) real estate with a view. 

Upon moving to Wisconsin, Jack befriended Dale’s blind uncle Henry Leydon; who voices several radio programs, including The Wisconsin Rat, which plays indy screamo bands and has plenty of shock-jock antics. The two hang out together, listen to jazz music, and sometimes Jack reads to Henry. Henry was able to use his elevated senses to study Jack’s speech pattern and figure out Jack’s mom was THE Lily Cavanaugh; the Queen of the B’s. 

While Jack and Henry are reading Bleak House, Charles “Burny” Burnside is wandering around the Maxton Elder Care Facility, pretending to have dementia, and dragging children into The Territories for Lord Malshun to either use as Breakers, or for Burny to snack on if they have no Breaking skills. So, Burny’s a bad dude who did some suspicious things in Chicago; but an evil spirit (the same one who invaded Albert Fish and Jeffrey Dahmer’s bodies) is what’s causing his kidnapping and cannibalistic urges. I know I say this every ten books or so, but Burny might be the worst King villain ever. I was not upset later on when his intestines were violently ripped from his body.

A sweet little boy (with strong Breaker powers) named Tyler Marshall goes missing outside the Maxton Elder Care Facility. While he was being pulled into the bushes by Gorg who kept repeating his name; his mother, Judy receives a taunting package and letter from The Fisherman, which sends her over the brink, and she’s institutionalized. 

Tyler’s disappearance really amps up the town outrage, and Jack agrees to help the police department out. He’s starting to suspect there’s some Territories nonsense going down, and he can help. 

From here, the book goes at break-neck pace and includes everything from micro-brewing bikers, a dog bite that causes one to dissolve into a foamy puddle on the couch, our old friend Speedy Parker showing up as a gunslinger, the world’s most annoying newspaper reporter, plenty of flipping between worlds via the creepy old black house hidden in the woods, and a happy(ish) ending. Honestly, there’s a warning at the end of the book, which allows you to choose your own ending. You can stop reading five pages before the end, and enjoy a happy ending where the good guys win; or you can get the real world ending. Both are satisfying... I recommend reading all the way to the end. 

So, just a few quotes for you... 

“Wolf died of a disease called America.” 

This line gutted me. I didn’t realize how much I loved Wolf as a character, until I had to read a follow-up that didn’t include him. His soul was too clean and beautiful for a fucked-up world like the one we currently live in. 

“He doesn’t like the cell phone to begin with- twenty-first-century slave bracelets, he thinks them...”

No explanation needed. 

“Why must life always demand so much and give so little? Parkus answers her question with a single word: ka.” 

Again, no explanation needed. 

Was this book as good as The Talisman? 

No. 

Did I want more? 

Absolutely.

But was I satisfied with the end?

You bet your (un-chomped on) ass.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 33

Total Dark Tower References: 50

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Storm of the Century: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Now I move onto From a Buick Eight. I’ve had an advanced reading copy since the book came out, but never had the urge to actually read it. That should tell you everything you need to know about my level of enthusiasm right now. I’m hoping it’s not a Christine 2.0. 

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #90

“i’d rather die on my feet than live a life on my knees.”

what do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? heartbreak. what is your favorite bird? barn owls. i also love crows and ravens though because they're so smart. how would you like to die? in my sleep, but surrounded by family. i want them to actually know i'm dying so they don't have to deal with the sheer shock of just waking up to me dead. think of your last ten kisses, were they with the same person? no. do you think making out is slutty? no? will you cry at your wedding?  i can just about guarantee i will. how many wives or husbands do you want?  just one. what were you doing when you found out michael jackson was dead? i was swimming. would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake?  lake. what is your father's middle name? john. what's your favorite anime? "fullmetal alchemist." i like both iterations pretty much the same, both the original and "brotherhood." is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? no. if you could live for a year with any foreign family, where would you go? germany! are you afraid of living alone? yes. i honestly don't think i could do it. what do you draw more than anything else?  meerkats. are you the type who is completely against abortion? why? fuck yes, because you will never get me to believe that a fetus is any more human after it's born. it's a human from the start. have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo, my favorite book. it didn't change my perspective, but it definitely heightened my pacifism. do you brag about being different than everyone else? no, because despite being very different, it embarrasses me. what do you think about william shakespeare’s work? he's great. what would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? i would legitimately cry. i would go into a huge depression if meerkats ever went extinct. what’s your name, anyways?  brittany. has anyone ever complimented you on how sweet you can be? yeah. what was the last brutally honest comment you made about someone? like a week ago. a friend of mine posted her fucking self-mutilation pictures on facebook and i called her out on that bullshit. you don't fucking do that. she's honestly a pretty childish person that contradicts herself constantly, but i care for her regardless. do you keep in contact with any of your ex-boyfriends/girlfriends? nope. how was your birthday this year? i was in a mental hospital. guess. lmao. would you like to have a pet horse? if i had a big enough property, definitely. have you read the entire harry potter series? i haven't read a single book. have you seen the deathly hallows? i think so... but i didn't pay attention to it. can you play the piano? no. can you read sheet music? i doubt i could anymore. do you enjoy poetry? absolutely. have you ever written a poem? lots since i was in the 6th grade. angsty shit lol how long is your hair? it's long. like to my shoulderblades, i think longer. do you like the band n*e*r*d? haven't heard of them. would you prefer cherry cola or vanilla cola? cherry coke. i don't like vanilla coke. what is your favorite cover your favorite band has done? "how?", "whiskey in the jar" what is your favorite farm animal?  pigs! do you like pictures that are considered “hipster” and “indie”? yeah. if you could rid the earth of one thing, what would it be?  rape. do you prefer germ-x or purell?  germ-x roses or daisies; which do you prefer?  roses. count to ten in another language. eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn do you like fedoras? i actually do. what's with the hate around them? what band/song reminds you of your childhood?  the backstreet boys. have you ever had a cherry martini?  no absinthe?  no. horchata? no. last time you went to the beach, who’d you go with?  colleen and chelsea. favorite flavor for a milkshake? vanilla smoothie?  mango. when was the last time someone saw you naked?  uhhh. i'm not sure. either my mom did or it's been so long that it was jason. what is the greatest loss you’ve endured?  jason where is your favorite place to have sex?  i haven't had sex before but i'd assume a bed? what is the “worst” drug you’ve done? are there any you will never try, or any you want to try?  uhhh, maybe alcohol? i've never done legitimate drugs. i mean xanax makes doctors p nervous to give out, and i was on that once, but i never abused it. where do you like to be kissed? multiple places? which uncle do you see the most of? uncle rob, mom's younger brother. do you have your family as friends on facebook? yes would you help your best friend hide a body? absolutely not. do you have depression?  i do, but it's finally efficiently being treated. what kind of humor suits you more - irony or sarcasm?  sarcasm, i think. so long it's not hateful. who is your favorite that 70’s show character? hyde and kelso! but i love eric too. did you enjoy middle school or did it suck? worst three years of my life. have you ever done anything with a guy that you now regret? i regret kissing one, but nothing crazy. if you were to dye your hair, what color would you dye it? i currently want galaxy hair. what is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? i don't like like 99% of energy drinks. do you know someone who threatens to kill themselves?  all the time. but she does it in a way that is very obviously crying for attention, not support. would you ever completely dye your hair the color green? no. i don't like green in general, but especially as a hair color. do the people in your town speak like rednecks?  some do. what kind of pie do you like the best, if you like it at all?  i don't like pie. have you ever thought of making love in a dressing room?  no, sounds uncomfortable. what is your favorite movie of all time? burton's version of "alice in wonderland" what is your favorite restaurant to go in and eat at?  olive garden. are there any lamps on in the room that you’re currently in? a guitar lamp. salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? hmmm. salt & vinegar. have you ever died in one of your dreams?  i have. which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? fruity do you believe in demonic possession? how about ghosts? angels? i'm iffy with demonic possession. anything boys can do, girls can do better - agree or disagree? your gender doesn't determine how well you do anything. have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? no. has a stray dog ever tried to bite you?  no have you ever tried yoga?  yeah. lost 40 pounds doing it some years ago. do you like the font century gothic? sure. bulbasaur, charmander, or squirtle? charmander, of course. does it scare you that even after getting a college education that not even that can guarantee you a career?  it's fucking horrifying. do you own a lot of graphic tees, solid colored ones, or more so just tops?  tops and graphic tees. any specific movie that you wish you could have a love like? [ex: the notebook, allie and noah]   the notebook.  obviously.  but SPOILER, without the dementia END SPOILER. can you remember ever feeling like someone stole your idea or took credit for something that was your work? if not, can you remember a time when you introduced a friend to something and they sort of began acting like they know more about it than you?   it's happened multiple times to me. if you were to ever imagine getting married, do you think you have a lot of people that would invite to your showers and actual wedding? or is it more like you’d be inviting long-lost family members and hoping for the best?   i'd only invite close friends and family. regarding your current or former high school, what is something that you really felt your school was lacking or what is something you would change about your high school?   you couldn't do something as little as even hugging.  but besides that, our principal was fucking awful. choose a male friend of yours. will you please describe him in a way that might convince me he’d be a good person to date?  he's a totally intelligent nerd and remarkably loyal.  very funny. if I handed you a voucher for a free tattoo from a renowned tattoo artist, but it had to be redeemed within 24 hours, would you use it?   i'd fucking scream in joy and then do it immediately lol when you are at a place where people are dancing and people are seated/mingling, like a wedding reception, do you dance or do you remain standing/seated?   i stay seated. what is your favorite kind of chips?  hot cheetos do you own a pair of converses?   multiple. have you ever dated a ginger?   no. do you watch american horror story?  i used to. would you date someone you had a 16 year age difference with?   no. what is your sexuality?   hetero. do you like lana del rey?   not at all. do you think suits are sexy?   hell yeah.  i am openly a huge sucker for suits. do you have a livejournal?  no. have you ever been seduced? by whom?   sure, and a past boyfriend. what’s the third letter of your surname?   "u" have you ever attempted origami? are you good at it? do you enjoy it? what’s your favorite origami to make?   no. do you enjoy classic rock? if so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists?   classic rock takes up a good portion of my musical library.  so let's go through my favorites (i looked up a list so i don't miss any lmao): ac/dc, aerosmith, alice cooper, def leppard, guns n' roses, iron maiden, billy joel, judas priest (i consider them classic metal, but w/e, i'm going according to this list), motley crue, queen, and van halen.  this list also lists metallica and ozzy as classic rock, but stfu they're thrash and heavy/classic metal. do you get horny a lot?   actually, the longer jason and i have been broken up, i'm less horny. what gives you anxiety?   living.  lmao. do you think "bad romance" is a catchy song or an annoying one?   i honestly think it's catchy, but still very overplayed. could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle?   i have before. which song did you last listen to on repeat?   lol honestly?  "i just had sex" by the lonely island + akon because i, out of the total blue, remembered that song from when i was a teenager and started giggling.  wanted to relieve the good 'ole times when that song used to crack me and my friend the fuck up. is your mom or dad the older parent?   mom. have you ever received anesthesia or morphine?   morphine, yes.  and it didn't do jackhorseshit for me. does the world make people cruel or do people make the world cruel?   now that's a good question!  but i think the latter.  the world, after all, is just the planet on which we reside.  it, alone, can't be cruel.  it's people who create standards, rules, society itself, etc.  so people make the world cruel. are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up?   speak up. out of fire, earth, water, wind, light and dark, which element appeals the most to you?   DARKNESS what’s one thing that you wish was real?   i'm taking what the previous person answered: healing potions from games.  that would sure be helpful. what was one of your favorite songs as kid?   apparently, "dookie" by green day lol.  mom always tells me about the time when i was a baby and we were at a putt-putt course, and that song came on and i started screaming "dookie!" and danced.  ... i was an odd child.  i am grateful i have no recollection of this event lmao. how much do you elaborate in survey answers?  i try to elaborate the best i can to make things interesting. are you a private person?   usually. what does your sister's hair look like? if you don’t have a sister, how about brother?  talking about my two immediate sisters, they both have long, brown, gorgeous hair.  nicole just put blondeish highlights in it the other day.  i envy how great her hair always looks. ever taken a shower with someone?   not since becoming "mature."  as kids, nicole and i would shower together sometimes. how many pregnant people do you know?  none, i think. do you have a tolerance for snoring or does it drive you insane?  it drives me up a fucking wall are you by any means broken?  i don't think so anymore. (:  broken things can be fixed.  never repaired entirely, but, y'know. do you believe in astrology and horoscopes?   not at all. are you irish in any way?   yep. are you good with confrontations?   NO.  i start crying. should we consider cheerleading a sport?   i mean... i guess?  it's physical exertion. do you know anyone with diabetes personally?   my mom.  other family members.  it runs in the family. do you like orange soda?   orange cream soda, yes. anything you find creepy that others probably don’t?   whale sharks.  their mouths are just so fucking huge and i think of them swallowing people despite the fact their esophagus is much too small. have you ever liked anyone whose name started with a "j"?   i loved someone whose name started with a "j" who was the last person you kissed?   to my dismay, tyler. where did it happen?  my back porch have you heard of the band behemoth?  yes, but i haven't listened to them. do you even listen to metal in the first place?  yes, mainly heavy and thrash metal.  i'm also a pretty big symphonic metal fan, but i really need to find more bands... do you have a deviantart?   yes. is there anybody famous you’re obsessed with?  mark fischbach and link neal please save me from this life of squealing torture what was the last thing you took a break from?   "world of warcraft."  well, i didn't have much choice, really.  my laptop has to be fixed.  i haven't played in months. what're you currently hearing?   markiplier & tyler playing "undertale."  i've seen this playthrough before, but i wanted to watch it again.  i'm not big on undertale, but i love how my boys make it so funny. are you afraid of the dark?   no.  i mean sure, i'd be pretty uneasy if i was in the dark somewhere i didn't know, but i wouldn't necessarily be scared. do you like yourself?   i'm getting there! (: do you have any piercings or tattoos?  five piercings, four tats. how would you describe your style?   if i'm actually dressing for an occasion, i'm like a goth-geek mix.  if i'm just running out somewhere, it's sweats and a graphic tee. favorite desserts?  ice cream! if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?   the kalahari desert in south africa to photograph meerkats!! favorite horror movies?   "blair witch project 2: book of shadows" what are your parents’ names?   donna and kenneth/ken dark and dramatic makeup or natural makeup?  dark and dramatic, baby. satin or lace?  lace is sexy what’s something that fascinates you?  space.  coral reefs. favorite sea creature?  dolphins, whales, seahorses... do you drink alcohol?   very rarely.  not even once a month. weirdest fetish you’ve ever found out about and how?  the fetish of adults with diapers.  and deviantart.  would see drawings as such in groups and it would really fucking disturb me.  speaking of da, they need a fetish filter so fucking badly. if offered irreversible immortality, would you take it?   absolutely not. what is your favorite superpower? why?  metamorphosis because who wouldn't want that if you were a videogame character, what would your iconic weapon be?   bow and arrow your friend tells you that they are suicidal, and asks you not to tell anyone. is it more of a betrayal to tell someone, or to keep silent?  fuck it dude, i'm obviously telling someone.  that is a serious fucking matter.  i don't even consider that betrayal, that's called doing what's necessary to save a life. something that makes you smile?   mark fischbach. what’s your opinion on cinnamon rolls?   *intense drooling* would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race?  yeah. have you ever heard of the band ‘the black keys’?   i have.  mom's a fan, i think. was your hair a different color when you were a baby than it is, now?  yes.  as a baby, i had dirty blonde hair, but it gradually turned brown.  it's currently dyed, though. do you need it to be absolutely DARK in order to sleep? how about quiet?   as for dark, no actually.  i have a hard time sleeping when it's totally dark, because i don't like being unable to see.  but quiet, yes. would it bother you if someone else used your hairbrush?   if it was a stranger or i thought their hair was dirty, yes. is it ‘soda’ or 'pop’?  soda. have you ever been inside of a cave?   no, but i wish!  i looooove caves! what’s your comfort food?   ice cream. what do you use your cell phone for, besides texting and calling?   i have an app on there to track my period, and sometimes i'll use it to go online. what's the creepiest movie ever?   there is only one horror movie that even makes me remotely uncomfortable, and that's "the rite."  the concept of being pregnant with a demon is fucking horrific.  i don't believe anyone ever has been, but just the idea is awful. did you ever do something you promised yourself not to?   yeah. what’s the craziest color you've dyed your hair?   purple do you like paranormal stuff?   YEAH do you have a favorite stuffed toy?   a stuffed meerkat named rebel that my ex gave me. would you rather be hurt physically or emotionally?   physically. do you over-analyze things?   literally everything. what's your favorite food?   jalapeno pizza tops the list.  but i also love well-made hot wings and strawberries.  kiwi, too. what's the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in real life?   MOUNTAINS what's the best advice you’ve ever been given?   "deal with the past, or the past deals with you," probably. does vintage stuff appeal to you?   yeah! do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?   of course i don't.  staying in a relationship you no longer want is foolish and only hurts you both way more than leaving. do you want to be taller or shorter?   i don't really care.  i'm content with my height. are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?   no.  his are brown. what do you want right this second?   i want hot fries lol are you one of those people who never drinks soda?   i feel like soda is such a loathed thing on the internet.  but no.  i drink soda. is your vision good?   no.  i have to wear glasses, and when i don't wear them, i can barely make out the second row on those vision test things with the big "e" have you ever slow danced with anyone?   yes. have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act?   my sister's friend pretty intensely made out with her then-boy toy on our couch once while i was present. do you think it’s attractive for a man to wear eyeliner?   that shit makes me weak at the knees lmao have you ever been to the grand canyon?   no, but i wish! when's garbage day in your area?   we have to take our trash on our own to the dump here. do you know anyone who hates or dislikes chocolate?   my grandmother do you know anyone who's racist?   yes. do you have more girl friends or guy friends?   girls. have you ever hated yourself?   yes. did your parents ever ground you?   yeah. do you own an mp3 player of some kind?   i still have an old fucking ipod nano lmao.  that thing's been going for a looooong fucking time. are you or were you popular in high school?   definitely not.  i was a loner. what're three of your favorite TV shows?   "fullmetal alchemist," "that '70s show," "supernatural" do you like things vampire related?   sure, vampires are cool.  i never really liked the romanticized stories, though. are your nails currently long?   no.  they never are. have you ever been to las vegas?  no.  it's on the complete opposite end of the country. if you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck?   i'd be one of those people that inside is FREAKING THE FUCK OUT but would try sooo hard to stay chill. did/do you listen to britney spears songs?  as a kid i did. in the past week, have you ridden in a taxi?   i've never been in a taxi what shorthand do you use the most?  lol, omg, lmao are there any framed pictures in the room you’re in?   yes.  an exclusive promotional "silent hill: revelation" poster in japanese that i won in a giveaway. what show did you last watch?   "that '70s show," at least part of it. do you still make christmas lists?   yes, because mom asks me to.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Helping Hands

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five| Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen: Near At Hand

With Lewis’s advice in mind (“Don’t overwhelm the man with big gestures”) Tony had asked, impulsively, what Bucky wanted to do for a date. After they’d stopped making out on his workstation like horny teenagers. Which had involved Tony having to adjust his slacks a few times, because… yeah. 

Despite not liking the phrase, Tony had to admit, Lewis was right. Tony was slumming it. He’d never dated so far outside of his own social circles. Not that most of his best people didn’t come from less than extravagant backgrounds. Lewis herself had worked at a pet shelter, and Pepper had been the executive assistant for a CEO cretin who’d been sexually harassing her. Of course, Ty Stone was a paparazzi and gossip-monger, with a side-order of high-end blackmailer, so obviously people from all walks of life had an equal opportunity to be assholes. 

But mostly, Tony had dated in his social circle, or close to it. Business moguls and the daughters of industry barons, actors and politicians’ sons. A few models. The lead singer of a Top 40 band. And the people, like Ty, who hung on the edge of that crowd. People whose idea of a spectacular date included jetting to Paris or walking the red carpet or blowing a hundred grand in a casino, chasing Lady Luck. 

Bucky had turned adorably shy and asked if they might go to dinner and catch a show on Broadway and had apologized as if the idea was too extravagant, too expensive. 

Tony sent off a quick text to Pepper, asking what shows SI currently had tickets for -- they kept a small bank of seats on reserve at most of the major theaters for the purposes of wining and dining important vendors and partners, or as rewards for enterprising employees -- and discovered that Bucky had never actually been to a live Broadway performance in his life, which just seemed a shame. Concerts, yeah -- and Tony teased him into admitting that he’d been in a band himself, back in high school, though obviously losing an arm made playing guitar a little difficult -- and a few grade-school plays where Steve had played second Octopus, but not one of the full-overboard high theatrics spectacles, like Cats or Hamilton.   

“Wicked, Cirque du Soleil, or Hamilton?” Tony asked, as Pepper returned his text. “Oh, and seats at Balthazar’s for dinner, excellent.”

[Read more here, mobile users be aware]

 Bucky blinked. “How did you do that?” 

Tony waggled his phone. “I have a personal assistant for a reason. And that reason is to make my life easier and save more time for sciencing. Or, you know, partying. Same thing, really. Just I try to science with less booze. It’s safer.” 

“Hmm,” Bucky answered, then leaned over and kissed Tony’s cheek. “Thanks. What time should I be ready?” 

Tony checked the itinerary Pepper had updated for him as soon as they were done texting. “Dinner’s at 6, so, 5:30?” 

“Sounds great,” Bucky said. 

“I don’t get another kiss?” Tony asked, plaintive. 

“After the date, Tony,” Bucky teased. “Wouldn’t want you to think I’m easy, would I?” 

While Tony tried to pick his way through that minefield, Bucky left the lab, the traces of his laughter hanging in the air. 

Tony walked into the living room and Bucky stood up from where he was lounged against the couch. For someone who’d never owned a suit before -- his dress uniform did not count, Bucky had protested -- he wore it well. James Bond in training. 

Bucky also apparently had two entirely different personalities. There was the angry-sullen Bucky that he’d given to Christine for the photo shoot, expressions that made it look like he was considering the shortest route to cutting your heart out, and then there was this one. The date-Bucky, which Tony had nearly forgotten in the last, heart-rending, weeks. The one with the wide, delighted, set-the-room-on-fire smile and dancing blue eyes and quick, loose-limbed gestures. The one who’d kissed Tony stupid and then admitted to being completely overwhelmed. 

And damn, he looked fine in that suit. Tony wanted nothing more than to take Bucky out and show him off, then bring him home and peel him out of that suit. Slowly. With great attention to detail. 

Pump the brakes, Stark, he told himself. 

“Looking good, Mr. Stark,” Wanda said. She and Steve were playing a cut-throat game of Uno at the coffee table, both of them playing two separate hands like they were professional card-sharks. She was wearing pyjama pants with kittens on them and the new Vision tee, a gold diamond with a pair of cybernetic blue eyes just underneath; the album name they were going with was for the title track, “Didn’t See That Coming.” J and Pietro had started cutting some of the initial tracks yesterday. 

Tony had, of course, grown up wearing suits and therefore carried himself much like he did any other day, with calm assurance. He gave Wanda a quick grin. “You’re the absolute height of fashion, yourself, there, kid.” 

Wanda held up one hand, palm out, to shield Steve from the middle finger she flicked at Tony. Tony cackled, delighted. Wanda, he liked. She was unflappable, affectionate, and absolutely and brutally honest. Bucky had called her his Jiminy Cricket once. Even if Tony hadn’t liked her on his own, getting on Wanda’s good side was absolutely essential to keeping Bucky happy. Wanda made it easy to like her, though. 

Wanda played a Skip, Reverse, Skip, Skip, and called Uno, then said, “Hey, the band wants to know if they can come over after rehearsal and chill. Is that okay?” 

“Yes,” Tony said, “but no drinking if you’re going in the hot-tub or the pool, okay?” 

Wanda rolled her eyes at him. “I’m not an idiot.” 

Tony laughed. “Yeah, well, sometimes I am, so…” 

“Steve,” Bucky said, waiting until his son turned all the way around, “you be good for your cousin, yeah? And pretend to eat a vegetable with dinner. Just humor me, okay?” 

Steve pouted as if the idea of eating something that wasn’t chicken nuggets or hot dogs was the worst punishment ever. “Okay.” He got up and hugged his father, rumpling Bucky’s blue shirt. “Are you and Mr. Tony going on a date?” 

“That’s the plan,” Bucky said. He scooped the kid up and kissed his cheek noisily. Steve made a disgusted face and wiped his face off with his sleeve. “God, you weigh a ton, kid. You’re gonna be all grown up before I know it.” 

“Yeah?” Steve perked up. “When that happens, can I have your bike?” 

“No, you may not,” Bucky said. “If you’re really good, though, I might let you tie your shoes all by yourself.” 

“Goodie.” The seven-year-old’s sarcasm was point-on. “Can I brush my own teeth, too?” 

“Don’t get too wild and crazy,” Bucky cautioned. He put Steve back on the floor and the boy ran off to finish the card game, crowing with triumph as he played two back-to-back Draw Fours. Wanda groaned and filled her hand with cards. 

Tony offered his arm, a strange pain in his chest as he watched Bucky interact with his son. “Shall we go? Pepper will murder me if we miss our reservations.” 

“Has she, ever, actually murdered anyone?” Bucky wondered aloud. 

“That’s classified,” Tony said, deadpan. Bucky laughed, throwing his head back and his bangs fell into his face. Tony allowed himself the tiniest bit of hope that maybe, this time, the date wouldn’t end in complete disaster. 

Tony had literally seen life and death decisions made with less deliberation than Bucky was exhibiting, choosing between the lamb rack and the coq au vin. Tony put his own menu aside to watch Bucky agonize, not being able to keep from smiling. He was reminding himself not to overwhelm the poor guy; he pinched off his first suggestion, which was to just get both. His second suggestion was that he get one, let Tony get the other, and they could share. 

His next several impulses were worse, and continued to nag at him; Bucky made him want to spend money, not to impress, but because Bucky was so delighted and amazed by stuff Tony was so used to that it was both painful and intensely fun. For just a moment, Tony held the patronizing thought that this was why people had children -- to watch someone else experience a thing for the first time in some way that brought the joy back. 

Tony started his little mental file; he always had one these days, ever since he’d totally fucked up with Pepper, forgetting her birthday and then bringing her strawberries (which she was allergic to, because damn it, he was a genius, but he could only remember strawberries, and not why they were connected). He’d learned his lesson, finally. If he paid attention, made the little details as important as math and science and engineering… that made a difference. 

Or, so the theory went. Since he and Pepper had split, he hadn’t actually put the theory into practice. Consider this a field test, he told himself. From just dinner, he’d learned Bucky preferred beer to wine, and beach-drinks to beer, preferably with frozen fruit and a rim of sugar. (Note to self: dig out the blender) Also, that he thought calling french fries “pomme frites” was pretentious as hell, and that he would absolutely not eat the last piece of bread in the basket. 

And that he was pretty. Tony had known that already, of course, but he couldn’t quite get over it, kept trying to be casual and failing miserably. So very pretty. 

Bucky had noticed, of course, that Tony was watching him. He looked up at Tony from under those long lashes with eyes that were the color of stormclouds. Bucky worried at his lip with his teeth whenever he was thinking and sometimes when he was talking, he’d rest his pinkie against the corner of his lip, which was damn distracting. 

Bucky also sat with his back to a wall and had the higher situational awareness that put Tony in mind of some of his more fervent bodyguards, especially the ones who’d been around when Tony was younger and went through what seemed like an absolute epidemic of being kidnapped and held for ransom. Apparently, a bunch of really third-rate bad guys had thought that Howard might be willing to part with some cash for his son back. Hadn’t worked out for them, very well. Tony’d gotten pretty good about escaping from restraints and picking locks and building bombs out of kitchen supplies. At least tonight, Tony hoped that high-alert wouldn’t be necessary for anything more than not having a mouthful of food when the waiter came over to ask if everything was to their satisfaction. 

The other thing Tony learned was that Bucky had impossibly long legs and that he sprawled when he sat down, legs carelessly extended under the table. When Tony had kicked him under the table the first time, Tony had apologized and drawn his feet back. Usually playing footsie under the table wasn’t a thing for Tony; at his very tallest (with the inserts in his shoes) was about 5’7”, so there was ample space for Tony’s legs and just about anyone else’s. Bucky, however, had stretched out just a little further, hooked the toe of his shoe around the back of Tony’s ankle and dragged his foot forward a few inches, then pressed his calf against Tony’s. 

That little point of contact, unseen and secret and affectionate, was doing things to Tony. 

The only word that Tony could find to describe his mental situation was captivated. Or maybe smitten. 

Balthazar’s was a popular place, and Tony was unsurprised when his attendance got some attention. A few tech-fans had come over to ask -- very nicely -- if they could get selfies with the man who’d invented their phones, and Tony was happy enough to oblige them. 

And Bucky spotted Scarlett Johansson with her current husband, the advertising mogul, Romain Dauriac. He stared for a long time, almost bordering on rude, but not for the reasons Tony thought. “You know, Clint said so, but I didn’t quite believe him.” Bucky scrolled through his phone pictures and eventually came up with one of Clint with his wife, who did bear a startling resemblance to the actress, except Nat had red hair and ScarJo was usually blonde. 

Dinner was good, and dessert was better. Bucky insisted on feeding Tony a few spoonfuls of his creme brulee, which was actually quite good, but the sharing was better. In the manner of social media and hashtags, Tony and Bucky were a trending topic on Twitter before they left the restaurant. Not shocking, but Tony texted Happy to come pick them up at the door. Even so, one of the rag-journalists grabbed Bucky’s arm before they could make a clean getaway. 

Those stormcloud eyes went flat and angry at the touch, and Bucky shook the man’s hand off forcefully. No, bad, Tony thought. Do not assault the paparazzi. Not that Tony had room to talk, really, but still. Darcy would kill them both. 

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark,” one of the gathered reporters yelled, “is it true that --” 

“Oh, come on, now Matthew,” Tony said, giving the man his best press-grin, “you know that nothing anyone says about me is true.” 

“Or everything is,” one of the other reporters shot back. 

“Well, I’ll just leave that to you to figure out,” Tony responded, and shoved Bucky toward the car, hard, with the hand at the small of his back so it looked like an affectionate gesture. Once they were safely inside the back of Tony’s car, Happy at the wheel and on their way to the theater, Tony was able to take a breath and notice how badly Bucky was shaking. 

“Hey, hey,” Tony said. “You all right?” 

“I don’t…” Bucky took a few deep, shuddering breaths and raked his hands through his hair, messing it all up. “I don’t like to be touched when I’m not… when I don’t know the person.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “They do that, sometimes. I expect we’ll end up going through another gauntlet on the way into the theater. Unless you want to skip that --” 

“No, it’s fine,” Bucky said. He scraped his hair back again and returned it to the bun, somewhat less smooth and suave than it had been before, which just added to the appeal. “Just…” 

“Did Darcy give you a prepped statement, in case anyone asks you questions?” Tony asked. He had a few fall-back lines of his own, although they’d been in place since long before Darcy had become his social-media maven. 

Bucky actually chuckled and Tony relaxed against the back of the seat. “She tried,” he said, “but apparently, I am useless at delivering a prepared speech. I’ve been relegated to ‘no comment’ until she can get me lined up with an acting coach.” 

They did manage to get into the theater without further incident, although someone with a telephoto lens and too much time on their hands had taken note of the messed up nature of Bucky’s hair after getting out of the car, and the angle of the shot prompted the glibly less-than-140-character post, “Where is Stark’s hand and why is Mr. Barnes smiling?” 

When Tony leaned over before the curtain went up to show the tweet to Bucky, the poor guy went so red in the face that Tony had a hard time not laughing. And since they were right next to each other, when the lights went dim, Tony gave up on resisting his other impulse, and let his fingers rest on Bucky’s thigh for the entirety of the first act. 

Author Note

brace yourself for three weeks worth of fluff (and smut) as their date takes three chapters. wow, I must have been in a really good mood when I wrote it! Enjoy!

as always, @tisfan

[fourteenacross]

2016 in Review

I’ve done these stupid surveys every year for the past ten years and I don’t care if LJ is dead, I’m gonna keep doing them.

The writing one is still in progress because it involves a lot of linking and thoughtful responses. Below are Fandom in 2016 and Life in 2016, mostly for my own records.

Fandom 2016

1. Your main fandom of the year?

Oh god, this has a different answer for the first time in five years, but definitely Hamilton? Up until SM, the only fannish words I wrote this year were Hamilton, most of the shit I reblogged on Tumblr was Hamilton...jesus, it’s like 2004 up in this joint.

2. Your favorite film watched this year? This is really difficult. Um, probably Ghostbusters because it blew me away and was totally unexpected as a favorite. I knew I’d probably like it, but not necessarily six-times-in-theatres level of liking.

Runners up are The Conjuring 2, which would have won without Ghostbusters, and Moana, which I found surprisingly moving and would probably see six more times without getting bored.

3. Your favorite book read this year? I’m gonna say Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older, which is an amazing modern urban fantasy set in Brooklyn about an afro-latina teenager who discovers she’s part of an old spiritual order that can channel spirits into art. IT’S SO GOOD? But I will say that The Diviners by Libba Bray and the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo were neck and neck with it right up until I made my final list for our WBS year-end episode. The best middle grade book I read was George by Alex Gino.

4. Your favorite album or song to listen to this year? I honestly am not sure that I listened to any “new” albums outside of The Hamilton Mixtape this year? I spent the start of the year listening to Hamilton and Great Comet non-stop, then listened to every Dar song in order and all of the 69 Love Songs in order for a couple months...but yeah, the only ~*~new~*~ thing I can think of is The Hamilton Mixtape.

5. Your favorite TV show of the year? Prooooobably Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Or maybe the end of Gravity Falls. 

6. Your favorite online fandom community of the year? idk. To be honest, I still don’t quite ~*~get~*~ tumblr (tho I had some nice conversations via the chat function, despite my general awkwardness as a human), LJ is dead, and while I connect with fandom friends and talk about fandom on Twitter, I don’t do that as much as I whine about my life. I guess AO3 has been great via comments received, but that also feels one-sided, as chatty cathy as I sometimes get when responding to people’s comments. Most of my fandom conversations this year have PROBABLY been over text? 

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year? I’m trying to think if there was anything new I was super into? Maybe Six of Crows, which I talked about a lot and read a couple fics for?

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year? X-Men: Apocalypse, for sure. Man, after DoFP, I had SUCH HIGH HOPES for XMA, which was totally my own fault. Every time someone made a comment about how weird something looked or how dumb something sounded I rolled my eyes, because they had done the exact same thing for DoFP, which was AMAZING. But, uh...this time they were all right. The more I thought about the movie, the more it fell apart for me. 

9. Your TV boyfriend of the year? Strictly teevee,  probably...idk, Luke Cage?

10. Your TV girlfriend of the year? I don’t watch SNL regularly, but can I cheat and say Kate McKinnon?

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year? Seeing Hamilton. Seeing Great Comet. Ghostbusters. 

12. The most missed of your old fandoms? I really missed the joy I got from DoFP when I was watching XMA :(

13. The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to? I’m p mono-fannish, so I’m good for now.

14. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year? Going to Chicago in May! Heroes! DragonCon! WBS liveshow! Maybe other things! I don’t know, I haven’t planned that much of the year yet!

***

General 2016

What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before? Voted for a woman for President. Went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Um...probably other stuff too? Gosh, I don’t know, I’m so boring.

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

+ Make a writing schedule and stick to it Did not do this. Like, at all. I got maybe a week on schedule over the course of the whole year /o\

+ Go on more dates Yes! I did do this! None of them really went anywhere, but I went on a whole bunch!

+ Get into the cooking habit and stay there Ish? I got better about making lunches for the week, but I wasn’t super consistent with it. Another thing to try in 2017.

+ Read more I did do this! Sort of! I didn’t keep super good track of it and I was mostly trying to read more adult books and I failed MISERABLY at that.

For 2017: + Read more adult books + Keep track of good things that happen + Make a writing schedule and try to stick to it for at least a month + Be better with money--pay off half the credit card + Go on more dates

Did anyone close to you give birth? Joni had a baby! It was so weird! One of us grew a tiny human! He’s ADORABLE.

Did anyone close to you die? My (step)grandfather.

What countries did you visit? Just this one! But within this one I went to...Charlotte, ATL, Orlando, Arkansas...and, you know, the Northeast in general.

What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016? I'd like to feel more on top of things. I'd like more organization in my life. I'd like more sleep. I'd like a girlfriend.

What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? November 8, not for good reasons, unfortunately. May 21 (Hamilton, Hadestown), November 12 (Great Comet), stuff like Heroes and DCon. 

What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finishing the goddamn ghosthunters fic, HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?

What was your biggest failure? idk what my biggest PERSONAL failure was, but I certainly know what my biggest failure as an American was :\

Did you suffer illness or injury? Brain stuff, some colds, and I broke my foot.

What was the best thing you bought? Great Comet tickets, plane tickets to visit various people. My dumb Silhouette machine that I love. Tiny John Laurens and The Washingtonians, both of which are within my sightline. This fuzzy blanket.

Whose behavior merited celebration? My friends. A lot of excellent activists.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The American people as a whole and everything associated with our clusterfuck election outcome.

Where did most of your money go? Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? HeroesCon, DragonCon, Hamilton, Hadestown, Great Comet, The Conjuring 2, finishing the ghosthunters.

What song will always remind you of 2016? I mean, mostly just The Hamilton Mixtape, probably.

Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Uh. Up until November I would have said “happier,” but currently I’m definitely sadder and more anxious. b) thinner or fatter? Same. c) richer or poorer? Same.

What do you wish you'd done more of? Writing. Sleeping. Hanging out with people.

What do you wish you'd done less of? Being depressed. Obsessing over stupid shit people said on the internet.

Did you fall in love in 2016? With this fuzzy blanket.

What was your favorite TV program? Brooklyn Nine-Nine!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Many, many people. THANKS, POLITICS.

What was the best book you read? Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older. See above for more details.

What was your greatest musical discovery? Nothing really new, tbh.

What did you want and get? Cons, brunch, travel, Great Comet tickets.

What did you want and not get? A female President. A girlfriend. More sleep.

What was your favorite film of this year? Spy or Star Wars or Jurassic World, I guess?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 31! The weekend before, me and @pearlo​ and @cygnaut​ and @littledust​ saw XMA a couple times! And Laura and Erica and I went to the Gardner and then I had a party and people mostly hung out and played Drawful and drank a lot of champagne. On my actual birthday, @ginthusiastic​ and I just went out for dinner after work and I had a drink that was the same color as my dress.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A different election outcome. Literally anything. A box turtle could be our president and I’d be happy.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016? Retro-y dresses.

What kept you sane? @ginthusiastic @pearlo @caphairdadbeard @isjustprogress @intrikate88 @anachronistique @lisapizza @charmingpplincardigans @brilligspoons  and the rest of the Boston crew whose tumblrs I don’t know/remember, and the DCon crew and The Hamilton Mixtape and theatre and the cast of Hamilton and crime show marathons.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I have a Daveed Diggs problem. And an unfortunate swing crush on Morgan Marcell. And Kate McKinnon was A THING that happened. And Jasmine exists and also Stephanie Beatiz and XMA was a bust, but Sophie Turner was A+.

What political issue stirred you the most? Gee, I wonder.

Who did you miss? Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last two years, but I'm keeping it because it's still true.]

Who was the best new person you met? I’m trying to think of actualfax new people I met? Boston Maja is the only IRL person who comes to mind immediately? Oh, and I met Ellen at DCon? Online-wise, I met a slew of great folks through Hamilton-related crap and you’re all lovely 💜

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016: I’m still not sure what the lesson from the ‘16 election is. Don’t trust polls? People are more misogynistic than you think? People are more racist than you think? I don’t know. I guess I’m still learning it.

Quote a song that sums up your year: I am the one thing in life I can control

Maybe THAT’S the lesson of 2016. idk, man.

[curlyhairbibliophile]

Wow, we are officially half way through 2020 (thank god)! My reading this year hasn’t been too bad because I am officially half way through my Goodreads goal! I’ve read a total of 21 books this year, and I’m hoping to keep this energy up through the rest of the summer and the fall. Today, I’m going to be doing the Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag to talk about some of my book-related opinions of the year!

Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2020?

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Is anyone truly surprised by this answer? It took me so long to read Six of Crows, and I am SO GLAD I finally did! Six of Crows was the first fantasy I’ve read in a long while, and I totally fell in love with Leigh Bardugo’s world building abilities and characters. I can’t stop gushing about this one. The second one is everyone’s old favorite: The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I actually had not read this book until this year, and it’s really surprising that it took me THIS LONG to read it.

Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2020?

I actually haven’t read any sequels yet this year! I will be reading Crooked Kingdom in the next few weeks, and I have a feeling that that will be the best sequel of the reading year.

New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To?

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There are SO many new releases I’m excited to read, but I would say that All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson and You Should See Me In A Crown by Leah Johnson are the two I am THE most pumped for! I already own You Should See Me In A Crown, so I really have no excuse not to pick it up soon! Sadly, I’m waiting on my audiobook copy of All Boys Aren’t Blue to come in from the library so I hope it comes in soon!

Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2020?

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I decided to break the mold a little for this one and do FOUR books I am pumped for. After reading Daris The Great Is Not Okay earlier this year (which I’ll talk about in a bit), I can’t wait for the next book Darius The Great Deserves Better by Adib Khorram! I also can’t wait for Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas because everyone and their mothers have not stopped RAVING about this book! Also, I talked about why I’m hyped about Never Look Back and Every Body Looking in a recent post if you want to check it out!

Biggest Disappointment?

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I picked up an ARC of The Fountains of Silence by Ruta Sepetys last year at ALA, and I was so excited for this one because I’ve only loved all of Ruta’s previous books. However, this one fell a little flat for me. It was a slow read until about half way through, and then it picked up a bit. I still rated it three stars because I loved the history behind it, but the characters and plot felt too jumbled for me.

The Names They Gave Us by Emery Lord was personally my BIGGEST disappointment. I have had this book on my shelf since 2017, and I finally picked it up this year after drawing it from my TBR jar. It was really cringey for me, especially after only reading diverse contemporaries with strong characters. I DNFed about 70 pages into it.

Biggest Surprise?

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I wouldn’t say these two were exactly surprises, but I would say I went into both of these with ‘meh’ expectations only for them to BLOW ME AWAY! Darius The Great Is Not Okay is a quiet contemporary that made me absolutely fall in love with the characters. Adib Khorram definitely became an auto-buy author for me after this.

I read Dear Martin by Nic Stone forever ago, so I wasn’t totally sure what to expect with Jackpot. However, I thoroughly enjoyed Jackpot! It was a lot more fun than I expected it to be, but it was also one of the first books I read with a main character who wasn’t affluent/middle class. It fully reminded me how much I loved Nic Stone and how I need to pick up her other books in the future!

Favorite New Author?

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Well, y’all could probably guess by what I’ve said so far that Leigh Bardugo would be one of the answers for this one! My other answer for this one would have to be Brandy Colbert, author of Little & Lion! I recently finished this one as an audiobook, and I genuinely enjoyed Brandy’s writing style and characterization. I’m super excited to dive in more to her other books (especially The Voting Booth)!

Newest Fictional Crush

This should go without saying, but I’d say my newest fictional crush is Kaz Brekker. There are SO MANY reasons why I’ve fallen in love with him, but I’m sure if you’ve been anywhere in the online book community you already know all about him.

Newest Favorite Character

Much like the one above, this is also Six of Crows related. The ENTIRE Six of Crows crew is what I’m going to count as my new favorite character. Again, you probably know why, but I talk about them more in my Six of Crows post.

Book That Made You Cry?

I haven’t actually cried in a book yet this year! However, A Little Life by Hanya Yanagiharais on my TBR in the future so we’ll see what happens!

Book That Made You Happy?

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I read Yes No Maybe So in late February right before the pandemic hit and I had to leave college, so reflecting on my reading so far I just remember how genuinely happy it made me. I love Becky Albertalli so much, so I was also super happy to finally be reading a new book of hers. I also listened to the audio book of George by Alex Gino recently, and it made me SO HAPPY. It’s a middle grade novel about a trans main character, and it dealt with super important while still being super light-hearted. I fell in love!

Most Beautiful Book You Bought So Far This Year?

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Would it truly be a Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag without talking about Elizabeth Acevedo? I purchased With The Fire On High and Clap When You Land this year, and these are arguably the most beautiful books (both on the inside and the outside). If you have not read Elizabeth Acevedo, you are missing out.

What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year?

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SO MANY BOOKS! Here are a few of the ones I’m hoping to read by the end of 2020:

Who Do I Tag?

Zoe @ SunnyChapterone

Shelby @ ShelbyCReads

Claire @ Clairefy

Kayla @ BooksAndFirstLooks

Marie @ snarkandsquee

Jackie @ BookishCoffeeBlog

Lelia @ A Page Out of My Book

Victoria @ V.E. Reads

Rc @ Nekuthebooklock

And YOU! If you have not done it yet, I officially tag you!

Welp, those are all the questions! I’ve had a pretty good reading year so far, and I can’t wait to see what new favorites emerge in the next few months! Do we have any books in common? What was your favorite book I’ve listed? If you’ve already done the tag, drop the link! I’d love to read/watch.

        Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag Wow, we are officially half way through 2020 (thank god)! My reading this year hasn't been too bad because I am officially half way through my Goodreads goal!