#I like the same five foods
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Not to have another moment, but a couple nights ago, I was on the verge of tears, because I hadn’t finished an assignment, and my teacher had given me an extension, and been so, so patient and understanding, allowing me to work alone, giving me advice, letting me adjust, and I just could not work on the project without her help, because everything now requires someone to hold my hand. Every action I complete has to be with someone by my side or I’ll completely fall to pieces like wet paper, and to what extent am I just taking advantage of my teachers, who are giving me so much leeway because of the medication I started, and how much of it is actually my fault? My inability to get over myself, my inability in general, my apathy, my need to make everything something more than it is, my self grandiose, and god, how much of it would be solved if I just got over myself?
i decided then that i need new bedsheets with flowers on them. then everything’s gonna be okay
#I operate like a child#I like colors#I like to sleep#I like the same five foods#I need someone to help me all of the time#if I don’t go for a walk my skin buzzes with nervous energy#if i dont paint my walls ill cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and#who am i talking to truly#sorry guys sorah’s having another moment™️#don’t worry she’s just being hysterical she’s just being dramatic#god could she be any more self depricating? all day she sits around and wonders if anyone hates her#soooorrrrahhhhhhh#sorrrrahhhh#sorrahhhh you’re being hysterical againnnn
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me as a kid: i have all these problems
every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine
me as an adult: i still have all these problems
my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago
#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid#they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN#there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it#i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs#i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis#i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing#like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other#patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused#and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors
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so was anyone going to tell me that tinned anchovy and some spices sizzled in olive oil makes the most delicious sauce you've ever tasted in your life or was I just going to have to have that semi-religious experience by myself
#how is that so GOOD!!! like alright so that's what people try to describe when they talk about umami huh haha#and it's also a little bit sweet somehow and quite honestly *chef's kiss*#for the first batch the other day I made it with the spices in the recipe (caraway and fennel seeds) plus the whole lemon juice + zest#and garlic that always goes in it feels like lol. which was also very good but I'm just not a fan of those spices especially whole#so today I made it with parsely thyme chili and cayenne instead and it fucking ROCKED!#please understand that I have eaten approximately the same meals for like five or more years now with very little change#I have no idea where this sudden urge to experiment with new foods came from but I'm having fun!#only had one 'meh no need to try that one again' experience so far which I think is impressive really#I am choosing things that are cheap and relatively easy to make so it's only so wrong it can go which probably helps a bit
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god that farmshare i did this summer was such a good financial decision. i saved SO MUCH MONEY on groceries.
#red rambles#kind of a kick in the teeth to have to pay upfront for it but ohhhhhh my godddddddddd did i eat good.#i still have squashes. i had to remember where i stashed them but i have like six meals still#in this day and age to buy six meals from the grocery store is like. $60 minimum probably more. i tried to buy acorn squashes to make#my acorn squash soup with when i was at my dad's place and they were half the size and missing their sweetness soooooooo bad#and cost like $4 apiece#so for roughly the same amount of squash (and worse quality) it was like $8. without any other cost of ingredients or w/e#okay so maybe closer to $30 minimum#still. ten weeks of meals then is like at minimum $300.#i got five fucking months of more food than i could eat for $425. basically all i bought at the grocery store was milk and eggs. for MONTHS#i like straight up dont know how to buy groceries any more because i dont even know wat to buy now. because im also spoilt rotten#god i love you farmshare i love you so much farmshare im going to do another one next summer if i can. ilysm farmshare
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#okay i did not have to edit this one. score#shiftry#anyway i really don't like this pokémon or anything about it. SORRY but it's true it's really ugly and its mouth and the nose#and it has the same things i don't like about it that i talked about with nuzleaf. i just don't get it but this time it wasn't in psmd#so i'm not attached to it just by virtue of that. and well. that contributes to me not really liking it i suppose#ahh well. better luck next time TPC you can make a good grass/dark-type eventually (it's meowscarada) (it took 6 generations)#hi it's me from two weeks later like the actual day this post is going to post. i came back to edit the tags so i could respond to some#comments. crazy‚ i know! but i saw the tags on this one were a bit short so let's beef 'em up. the nuzleaf post got some comments#about the whole prosthetic memory thing. where i set reminders on my phone to do shit or else i will not do the shit#i literally have a reminder set for 2:30 PM today to eat food. or else i won't even do that i bet#and folks are saying it's a common ADHD experience and that i'm not a fail and i do appreciate it. i think i was joking a bit#i was probably just frustrated i had to edit the image after taking it but the gist is. i don't *think* i have ADHD? i do have autism#which i suspected for a loooooong while until i finally up and got diagnosed when i was fucking 21 years old. which is insane. so i wonder#if that's an experience that overlaps. i imagine it is bc they proooobably would've been able to tell me if i had ADHD‚ too#okay. i moved these tags over here from nosepass‚ actually‚ which is the pokémon i just queued up. so i'm gonna go remove them from there#see you in street fighter five everybody
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wearing a california bear baseball hat in arizona to assert my dominance
#listen here's the thing. there's only one thing worse than a californian. A ZONI#anyway I have to wait another hour before I get in n out and I NEED ITTTTTT#do you understand how dire it is trying to get a good cheap burger in the seattle metro area is. it's so dire.#the biggest sin of regional food discourse was trying to claim that five guys is in the same market area as in n out. it is nOT#it is a DIFFERENT PRICE RANGE.#if I want a five dollar burger these days I gotta go to fucking BURGER KING AND I WILL NOT. FUCK THAT.#five guys sells TEN DOLLAR BURGERS AT LIKE. MINIMUM.#they are NOT COMPARABLE. anyway#back to my woe
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i like this card a lot i mean tbh they could release literally any chiaki card and id go crazy But i like it a lot but its not checking anything off my chiaki checklist
#i need. a new card with him with glasses#preferably his actual glasses like its been so many years but since some theme scouts have glasses as part of the outfit#thats ok too okay#i just miss glasses chiaki Sooo much#and also need a !! 5* where he isnt making :D >:D >:] or etc face#just let him cry basically is my request#its honestly funny looking at his !! 5*s its just :D :D >:D :D >:D :] :D >:D even most the bloomeds#which makes more sense and i am less mad about the bloomed cards having basically the same expression but#You know not that i wnt chiaki to be sad or cry (i do) BUTC OEM EOONNENOUUNFOUHHJHLLUHJJHJH#Just like a bit a variety. A bit. A little. come on#hes crying a little in his astreaea atelier Idk how to spell it the gay french card unbloomed#i likethat card a lot its cute i like scared chiaki Oh he should have a scared unbloomed 5* yes yes#anyways third item on my checklist is like a super cutesy chiaki card they dont really let him be cutesy often. i mean he is cutesy.#inherently he is cutesy but u know wha i mean#i still just think its fucked they havent let him look more than a tiny bit displeased since meteor impact#five real life years ago#Meet my demands at once or else/. Happyele theres blood on your hands. Thank you for the delicious food today though
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the way i would rather get electrocuted again than write this stupid essay
#i speakin#i have more important stuff to be doing but write this high school level paper for a COLLEGE COURSE#like literally the format he wants us to follow is the same fucking format i used back in 10th grade english i wanna scream and cry#he wants us to stretch 5 paragraphs out into 5 PAGES be fucking SERIOUS WITH ME RIGHT NOW#why did i TAKE this class#im so tired and i am using food as a reward for myself for writing it bc it's due at noon tomorrow#but im sorry i donnt wanna write abt an 80yo movie that barely has anything written abt it that i can use as a source#this is such baby level shit its frustrating#like how am i supposed to stretch 'cary grant was in this movie bc he was popular' for five fucking pages#im mad. tbh.
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dohifu…………
#this is vee speaking#i’m procrastinating watching a video that’s giving me so much second hand embarrassment like every five minutes by playing with my food lmao#also inspired by a post of the same genre but it was gummy worms and i haven’t stopped thinking about it actually lmao#*sighs* okay back to the video i want to cry lmao#like it’s four hours of genuinely hilarious content i’m just embarrassed for them because it’s very dumb and VERY questionable fun lol#since it’s ✨me✨it’s hayama-san content lmao but he fighting a war with kamio-san king of improv and has proven to be a high tier challenger#but the way they keep trying to one up each other is making me DIE fr lmao#like will they be able to advertise either of them in future stuff from this episode lol it’s very 🔞 humour lmao 😭😭😭😭😭😭#if i never return tell kuukou i love him and remember the dohifu candy men
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Shoutout to all the eldest daughters who had to basically raise their siblings. You’ve done the best you can, and I’m proud of you
#Really just. Venting my frustrations over having to live like this#I was eight. Eight years old and I had to watch and take care of a five year old and a two year old#I had to make food and clean and care for them#I was eight and already then I had wanted to die#I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the moment things settled and the responsibility had lifted from my shoulders somewhat#Then that’s when the severe anxiety started#Then again. Still too fucking young to be playing in an adults world I had to take care of them again#And again#and again and again#youre the parents. You’re supposed to do this#It should never be the eldest daughter’s concerns over money and food and over keeping these kids alive#Then people wonder why I forget to care for myself. And why I’m always so worried for others while#Disregarding myself#Just look at the childhood and you’ll see I never had time to worry for myself or to heal and I don’t think I can now#Because again I have to join an adults world and play at their game to make sure my siblings don’t fall the way I have#I was eight years old and I wanted to die. Now I’m almost seventeen and I want the same.#Because it seems the only way to get me out of this#I know it’s wrong I know it’s wrong I know it’s wrong#I can’t let the siblings fall the same way I have#jays venting again
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rare breakfastposting
#personal#food post#ive been really tired for about a week now (allergies maybe idk)#so i went to bed insanely early last night @ like nine pm bc i was too tired to do anything else. so unfortunately i woke up @ like five am#bc of that i will crash & burn later and have to take a nap BUT#bc ive been so tired recently ive been having to take a nap even on my regular sleep schedule anyway so lmao same difference.
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Got a new copy of Tomodachi Life today and Will has the same personality as Will.
#he shot up into space when I gave him pancakes (the animation for when your mii finds their ultimate favourite food)#I’m also painstakingly waiting for Nancy and Jonathan to get together#they are currently friends atm but I want them to be more#looks like my luck from five years ago did not show up because before I had a confession of love and a wedding in the same day#I might make more posts about my island in the future (especially the update on jancy because my brainrot for them is real)#this game was the entire reason for me being inactive for most of the day#stranger things#will byers#tomodachi life
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went outside today! was quite fun ^^
#we went to the place we've been going to for... about six(?) years now#its either five or six.#they recognize me by now!#my dad had gone there while going back from work and was waiting for us#while me and my mom were going she went into her little yarn store (shes in love with crocheting/knitting) so i went ahead of her.#when i went in they were like ''is your mother not coming?'' which was very flattering account of hehe im recognizable#i had chicken wings! which means i ate like a feral cat that hadn't eaten in two days#the only times i shimmy with joy when eating food is when i eat chicken wings. by god they're so good#only if its made like my favorite little places do it. i've gone to burger king once (1) and i absolutely refuse to try anything chicken#theres many of the mainstream english-speaking-country places in super markets but i will never go there. never#they could never do it like this tiny little place we've been going to for years that have an average of zero customers at any given time.#by god i love that place. hope i get to go there for my entire time in high school#we want to move to yenibosna after im done with high school...#we were actually living there when i was an infant! we had to move due to Landlord apparently.#which happened for most of my life.#honest to god i moved every year when in elementary#which means i got to experience four (4) different elementary schools! quite an experience.#the first one i went to elementary in was all the way over in acıbadem (near other side of istanbul on a metrobus)#ahh reminds me of my best friend in first grade. her name was sümeyye i miss her but at the same time i could not care less#it was fun! it was fun. we sneaked out of the elementary during break time to go to the adjacent primary school we used to go to#reminds me fourth grade! there was a primary school next to that one too#is it called a primary school? its not a kindergarden...#oh! sorry. preschool#what was i saying?#well only god knows i cant read my tags. goodbye forever#♚ — rambling !#oh i should talk about my day!#today in english class the teacher did a .. shoobadoowhatsit. can i stop forgetting words#is it called a verbal quiz? verbal exam? verbal something. you understand#hi i ran out of tags. i'll continue in a reblog
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People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I'd pass it on.
I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?
These people seem to get it, though. It's very simple in places. It's basically the cookbook for people who think, 'I'm really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can't think of anything else to cook that won't exhaust me'.
And it's free!
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“Achoo!”
You sneeze again, rubbing your nose, you feel absolutely.
Terrible.
All day, you’ve barely been able to do anything but blow your nose and lie down for five minutes before your head starts spinning. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, you hear the doorknob click.
Shit.
You promised to make dinner tonight.
“I’m home.” his deep voice fills the air, sending you into a mild panic as you scramble toward the kitchen, hoping to whip something up in time.
He steps in, towering figure leaning against the doorframe, eyebrow quirked up in confusion.
“Sorry Ryo! I’ll get you something to eat soon.”
He doesn’t respond at first, just watches you with narrowed eyes. Then, he moves closer, his steps slow and deliberate. Before you know it, he’s right in front of you, staring down.
He stretches a hand out, touching the back of his hand to your forehead.
“You… are ill.” He states, furrowing his brow.
“It’s just a cold—“
He grunts, clearly annoyed. “Why would you try to cook in this condition?”
“Because I promised… and I didn’t want you to get mad.” you say looking down at your feet.
Sukuna lets out a low, irritated growl, turning on his heel and stalking toward the kitchen.
"Sit down."
You blink, watching him in surprise as he opens the fridge and starts pulling out ingredients, his movements efficient and swift. He spares you a glance, and you hesitate before shuffling over to the couch.
"You shouldn’t be doing this for me." your voice laced with guilt, watching his broad back as he chops vegetables.
Sukuna grunts, his eyes flicking toward you, sharp and unyielding. "I am not that idiot you dated before.” he says flatly, the disgust in his voice unmistakable. "You’re sick. I’m not letting you do anything."
The words hit harder than you expect, and you feel a warmth settle in your chest. As he seasons the food with the same precision he brings to everything, you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips.
The soft clink of the spoon against the pot is the only sound for a moment before his voice cuts through again, harsher this time.
"If you ever push yourself like that again, especially for me, I’ll make sure you regret it."
Your smile fades, but there's comfort in his rough concern. "I won’t." you promise.
A short silence follows, broken only by the bubbling of the soup. When he finally brings the bowl over, he sets it down with a firm thud, crimson eyes watching you closely. "Eat."
You pick up the spoon, feeling overwhelmed by how cared for you are. "Thank you."
His eyes narrow slightly, lips curling in disdain.
"Tch. The bar's in hell if you think I wouldn’t take care of you."
#kbwrites#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna drabble#ryomen sukuna#sukuna fluff#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#sukuna x y/n
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