#which means i got to experience four (4) different elementary schools! quite an experience.

[crescentmp3]

went outside today! was quite fun ^^

[computermaus]

Some Other Headcanons and other shit.. I have.. I don't think I ever saw them before so...

I like doing this so why not.

Randy teaches Stan or gives Stan lessons in science and helps with his science homework and tests.

Why i think this?

While Randy is mostly a moron. He is a geologist so he must be good at science. I also see him teaching that to bond with Stan. And even Stan doesn't want to do it Randy would still do it because Stan does obey to his father most of the time. I can totally see Randy teaching Stan the whole periodic table. I just can't see Stan bringing a bad grade in Science home and Randy doing nothing about it? It's not Randy's character he would absolutely do something about it? also because of fearing being embarrassed by his child. A geologist with a PhD but having a child that got a D at the last Science test? No no no. Also Randy teaches Stan how to dance in an episode, which name i forgot and I'm to lazy to look up right now. And even Sharon was against it or not really because it's beneficial for Stan. But of course Randy does take things sometimes too far. Randy would still do it, because he's doing what he wants anyway.

I don't see him doing it with Shelly because isn't really interested in bonding with her. And he doesn't care about her.

Laura isn't Craig's Mother. But Thomas is his father and he cheated on Laura with another woman who died.

This is just a new idea popped in my head basically. Also because Craig's black hair. In the end of Season 20, Laura tells Sheila her husband, has been looking on websites " dating but married". Because of this I assume he was cheating on her before and had a child with this woman. Craig. This woman was likely a black haired woman who died at giving birth to Craig. After she died Thomas was alone with Craig but shortly after got back together with Laura

Kyle is sore about not being part of the All State basketballteam that he refuses to participate in the school teams because he feels like he's to good at it?

Okay this is just my personal idea. And also because I like Kyle being a pissy a little... Also we don't see him in the school teams? Elementary school musical? Skankhunt?? He wasn't there. Or he was just so traumatised by the experiment that he lost all confidence and quit. He's absolutely fantastic at it and maybe Stan tries to convince him to play for the school, but since Kyle is never seen in the school teams. It's assumed he is not.

Token's musical talent or him playing basketball. is more because he is a black guy imo. It's the racists stereotypes south park makes fun of: " every black guy can sing", " or every black guy is good at basketball." With Stan it feels more natural. Because he inherits the musical talent from his father. We have yet to see Tokens parents being musically inclined. (this is just an opinion i hope not to make anyone mad). But Token probably couldn't sing if he was white. So this is more of a using a stereotype and making fun of it. After all he is the Token Black guy? Ofc it still doesn't change the fact Token can sing and is talented.

The main four are can do alot of things teenagers/adults do. Like doing taxes, driving, booking a flight, travel etc...

This is based on the adventures they had on the earlier seasons and how they're parents don't pay attention to it. It's also stated in Pandemic by Craig that they don't normal kids stuff like normal kids do. Also you never see Craig, Clyde or Token travelling on their own. It's mostly accompanied by one of the main four, or organised like in Free Willix.

Henrietta dyes her hair.

She has actually blonde hair like her brother Bradley. But because she hates " looking like a preppy cheerleader" she dyes it black, Also because she hated her mother gushing about her being blonde.

Stan hasn't kissed a girl because it's not normal for a child to kiss. They are children and it's not normal for 8 to 10 year old to go kissing around. Stan represents the normal child. Child dating is awkward and is presented with Stan and Wendy. This does not mean he is this way until his teenage years and doesn't know how to talk to girls properly. So he will most likely have his first kiss around 13/14/15 and his first time around 17/18. Or have you've been kissing at the age of 8 9 or 10? Probably not. Also i read somewhere for a child it's better they are not in a relationship for they're development and confidence. And I can see that. Also my opinion. These kisses they do as children don't really count. They have no meaning. I mean they are children they have no idea what being in love is. So Kyle never having a girlfriend or Stan never kissed anyone as a child doesn't really bother anyone after they are teenagers.

Also children are fickle as fuck. When I was in 5th grade I had a crush on 4 different boys and I didn't even know them that well. I was like " Oh he looks cute. Now I have a crush on him.".

I like shipping too. But I do it how I believe the characters would be as teenagers and do it then. If that makes sense? I don't change the basic traits. Like Stan being an animal lover, Kyle being a hothead and smart, Cartman being a sociopath, or Kenny being perverted and caring for his sister etc... It's just they have matured and how they're homelifes affects their personality. With Randy doing stupid shit all the time I can see Stan more and more becoming a person with a deadpan humor when he's older.

[reversedscene]

Does She Mean, Like, Pizza?

Summary:

“Why couldn't they have made mine into a pizzeria or something?” – Reggie Peters, 1x02 “Bright” “I wish I had a puppy! A hamster? Pizza?” – Reggie Peters, 1x02 “Bright” “Wait, so, when she says “deep dish”, is she talking about, like, pizza or...?"  - Reggie Peters, 1x03 “Flying Solo” “Let’s not forget we have somewhere else we can play and eat pizza.” – Reggie Peters, 1x06 “Finally Free”

OR

A 5 + 1 fic detailing the origins of Reggie’s love of pizza.

Word Count: 4502

AO3 link in the notes

AN:

This is 100% inspired by this post by @willexx, thank you so much for letting me use this idea!!

TWs:

overall - discussion and onscreen eating of food section 3 - discussion of coming out to homophobic parents and offscreen Catholic-based homophobia, something adjacent to a panic attack but not quite that severe section 4 - discussion of missing meals/teenagers being dumb about what counts as a meal (you can easily skip the noted sections if there's a trigger, they're all independent of each other)

Does She Mean, Like, Pizza?

1 --

Despite the perceptions Reggie’s friends have, his parents weren’t always that bad. There was a time growing up when they were the type of parents any kid could’ve asked for.

“And then we learned about evaportat – evaporation, where the water goes back to the sky!” Reggie raises his hands, bringing his older brother’s hand up with his left.

“Yeah?” Charlie prompts. “How about when we get home, we put a little water in a bottlecap by the window and you can see it happen?” Reggie cheers his agreement and starts pulling Charlie down the sidewalk. “Calm down, Reg, the water will still be there when we get home.”

Reggie slows down slightly, content to walk beside his brother until they get home. They make it home fairly quickly, Reggie only getting distracted by a wildflower on the side of the sidewalk that he insisted on picking for their mom. When they get home, Charlie reaches up to the front door and lets them both in.

“Charlie? Reggie? That you?” Reggie hears his mom call from the kitchen, quickly followed by her footsteps coming down the hall.

“Hi, mom!” The boys chorus back to her as she rounds the corner.

Reggie holds out the wildflower to her, “Here, it’s pretty just like you!”

“Is this for me?” She asks. When Reggie nods, she continues, taking the flower from him, “Why thank you Reggie, it’s gorgeous. How was school, boys?” Reggie hums in acknowledgment as he crouches down to pull the Velcro on his shoes. He sees Charlie rip open his backpack beside him and hand a small package of paper to their mom.

“I got my multiplication test back today!” Charlie says with a bright smile. His mom flips over the paper and Reggie sees a big colourful sticker at the top before it’s fully turned around.

“A 100, oh Charlie how wonderful!” Their mom coos, wrapping Charlie in a hug. “I’m so proud of you, I know how hard you worked for that.” She pulls away then continues, “You know, I was going to make a casserole tonight, but how about we order pizza instead, boys?”

Charlie and Reggie both cheer as they follow their mother into the living room. First though, they make a pit stop in the kitchen to pin the test up on the fridge with a magnet, the circled bright red 100 stark against the white of the paper and fridge. They settle down in the living room when Reggie’s mom turns to him and asks what he got up to today.

“We learned about evaporation! Water just disappears!” Reggie exclaims.

“Do you still want to do that experiment, Reg?” Charlie asks, already getting up. Reggie nods enthusiastically, with a massive grin on his face – exposing his missing front teeth.

Later that evening, all four Peters sat around the table with a large pepperoni pizza between them. Laughter filled the air and four little bottlecaps of water sat on the windowsill. Reggie was happy.

2 --

Reggie is practically bouncing in his booster seat – scratch that, he actually is bouncing. Luke Patterson, who was in his class for the first time this year, had invited him to his birthday party. They only met on the first day of school but, since their last names are so close, they seem to have spent every second in class talking to each other.

His mom pulls the car into the Patterson’s driveway and Reggie jumps out. He’s halfway to the door when his mom calls him back to get Luke’s gift. Reggie runs back to grab it and goes to run back again before his mom tells him to walk with her. Together they walk up to the front door and Reggie reaches up to ring the doorbell, and a woman with long brown hair answers the door.

“Hello, you���re here for Luke’s party?” At Reggie’s enthusiastic nod, she continues, “And what’s your name?”

Just as she finishes her question, a small boy comes barreling down the hallway. Reggie hears his name being yelled before Luke slams into him, almost knocking them both to the ground.

“C’mon, Reg, everyone’s in the living room, let’s go!” Luke says, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the house.

Reggie looks over his shoulder and waves, “Bye, mom!”. She waves back while talking to Luke’s mom.

Luke turns a corner, and they enter the living room that already has most of the guests there. Reggie can immediately see Jennifer and Sarah sitting in the corner of the couch talking with Mikey who was on the floor, and then Luke’s best friends Alex and Bobby sitting in the chairs a little further into the room. Unsurprisingly, Luke pulls him over to the boys.

“Alex, Bobby, this is Reggie, he’s my friend from class since you’re in Ms. R’s class this year and left me all alone with Mr. K.”

“We didn’t leave you all alone!” Bobby says.

“And it’s not our fault!” Alex adds, before turning to Reggie. “Hi Reggie, I’m Alex.”

Bobby turns and says, “And I’m Bobby, I like your shirt.”

Reggie looks down to see his Back to the Future shirt he was wearing then answers brightly, “Thanks!”

Mrs. Patterson then enters the room, putting Reggie’s gift down with the rest, and told them it was time for party games.

Reggie stuck with the three boys for the entire afternoon. He was in stitches with Luke and Alex when Bobby pinned the tail on the TV instead of the donkey poster at the other end of the room, and immediately paired up with them when Mrs. Patterson – “call me Emily, honey” – had announced it was time for charades.

The pizza arrived in the evening and Reggie ate it sitting crossed legged on the floor surrounded by three new friends and having the time of his life.

3 --

Through elementary school and middle school, the boys stay thick as thieves, even starting a band in grade 8 that went unnamed until midway through grade 9. Bobby’s parents were kind enough to let them use their garage as a rehearsal space – in actual support or just to get them out of the house, the boys didn’t know. Throughout this time as well, Reggie’s dad got laid off and his idealistic childhood came crashing down along with the family’s savings. His parents started arguing more, first about money, then about each other, then about Reggie and Charlie. As it stands now, a few years down the line, Charlie moved out to go to college and Reggie spends more time in the garage than in his own house.

Currently, Reggie is sitting on the couch in the garage, fiddling with the tuning keys of his bass while the body lays on the couch. It’s a few hours after band practice and Bobby had just left to make popcorn in the house.

The studio doors slam open and Reggie jumps at the noise, just barely catching his bass before it crashes to the ground. He looks up to see Alex just inside the doors harshly sucking in air with tear tracks running down his face. Now that Reggie is paying attention, he can hear the difference in Alex’s breathing, the clear signs of hyperventilation that Reggie initially attributed to his hasty entrance.

“Jesus, Alex, what happened?” Reggie says, getting up to try and comfort his obviously distressed friend.

“I – I … I don’t know what came over me. I, I –“ Alex stammers out, his breathing picking up pace.

“Okay, that’s okay, how about we go sit down?” At Alex’s slight nod, Reggie guides him over to the couch, moving his bass off the couch and into its normal position in the process. “Do you want me to count your breathing or distract you? You can use the tap system if you want.” The tap system was a little communication method the four of them had set up a few years ago after Alex had a particularly bad panic attack where he couldn’t speak. One of the three of them ask a two-option question, and Alex taps once for the first option or twice for the second. Alex taps Reggie’s leg twice.

“Okay that’s good. Did I tell you about the bulldog I saw at the beach the other day?” Reggie starts and then continues without waiting for an answer.  “He had these little blue goggles on and a life jacket – because bulldogs can’t float because they’re too dense – and he couldn’t quite walk right, so he kept losing his balance and falling over! He was almost all white, with these brown spots on his ears and a few on his back, I think his name was Winston? I’m not sure if his parents were yelling at the dog or the kid with him though. He loved fetch too, the kid kept throwing the ball into the surf, which explains the goggles and life jacket, he was just so cute!” Alex’s breathing had evened out a little through the story, and Bobby comes in with a bowl of popcorn just as Reggie finishes.

Bobby walks into the room, places the popcorn on the table, and sits on the other side of Alex, clearly sensing the things-are-not-okay-right-now vibe. He looks over to Reggie with a questioning look on his face and Reggie responds with a small shrug and raised eyebrows.

“Hey, Lex, I wasn’t expecting you to be here tonight, is everything alright?” Bobby says.

Alex opens his mouth to respond but he chokes a bit on his words and ends up shutting his mouth while shaking his head.

“That’s alright, man. Do you want to talk about it?” Bobby continues, and Alex answers by nodding. “Okay, do you want me to grab Luke so we’re all together?” Another nod. “Sweet, I’m gonna go call him now, is that good?” After Alex nods a third time, Bobby gets up to go back into the house to the phone. “I’ll be right back.”

A second wave of whatever Alex is going through hits, his shoulders begin to shake, breathing picks up, and his eyes fill with tears again. Reggie calls Alex’s name softly and opens his arms in a silent invitation, which Alex immediately accepts. Reggie shifts them around until they’re both half sitting, half laying down on the couch, with Alex’s face resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around Alex. Reggie starts carding his hand through Alex’s hair hoping it soothes Alex like normal.

When Bobby returns, they’re still in that position and Reggie’s hand is still in Alex’s hair. Alex’s breathing has returned to semi-normal, only hitching occasionally, but his face is still red and covered in tear tracks.

“Luke says he’ll be here in 15.” Bobby says while lifting their feet and settling beneath them. Even though Bobby said 15 minutes, Reggie knows it’ll be closer to 10 – Luke will ride his bike as fast as he can over here if he knows one of them is in trouble. Reggie resumes his hand motions and Bobby begins rubbing his hand up and down Alex’s calf.

After a few minutes of silence, Alex mumbles something into Reggie’s chest.

“What was that Alex? We didn’t quite catch that.” Bobby says.

Alex lifts his head slightly and repeats, “I came out to my parents tonight.” A sense of dread washes over Reggie. Alex was one of the two bandmates with good parents, despite them being on the more extreme end of Catholicism. Reggie hugs Alex a little tighter, and Bobby rearranges himself, so he finally properly joins the cuddle pile. It’s difficult fitting three 16-year-old boys horizontally on the same couch but they’ve had enough practice that they make it work.

Reggie loses track of time but soon enough Luke is bursting through the door in a very similar fashion to Alex earlier that night.

“What did I miss?” Luke pants out. “Is everyone alright?”

“That depends on your definition of alright?” Reggie says from the bottom of the pile.

“I came out to my parents.” Alex adds. Luke is crouched beside them in seconds.

“Are you okay? How did they react? Well, not good considering you’re here. Did they kick you out? Do you need a place to stay?” Luke rapid fires.

“Luke, Jesus, take a breath, you’re overwhelming the guy.” Bobby says.

“It’s okay.” Alex intervenes. “I’m okay now, and you’re right, they didn’t react well. They didn’t quite kick me out but they’re definitely not okay with it. I don’t know why I thought they would be really, I just thought their love for me would overshadow what they believe.” Alex lets out a humorless chuckle. “But I should’ve known with how they spoke about the AIDS crisis.”

“Hey, no, no thinking like that.” Bobby interjects before Alex can spiral too far. “It’s not your fault you trusted them to support you as parents, it was theirs for letting you down. Okay?”

“Okay.” Alex responds.

“Good. Now, have either of you had dinner yet? Because me and Reg haven’t.” When Alex and Luke both shake their heads, Bobby continues. “Okay, I don’t think mom made enough for two extra plates and, frankly, I think we’re overdue for a pizza and movie night out here. How does that sound?” Luke and Reggie voice their affirmative.

“Can we watch My Cousin Vinny?” Alex asks quietly. When all the boys agree – as if they could disagree with Alex after everything that happened today – a small smile graces Alex’s face, the first Reggie has seen since he burst through the door.

As the final few minutes of the movie play out on the screen, all four of them are piled on the couch with two empty boxes of pizza on the coffee table in front of them. The painful events of the day are not quite forgotten but they’re definitely a distant thought.

4 --

Junior year ends and senior year picks up along with the fights between Luke and his parents. Post-secondary applications had opened two months ago, and the deadline is drawing nearer every day. The band’s getting closer and closer to their big break, they can feel it, but unfortunately, that belief doesn’t transfer to Emily and Mitch Patterson.

“I just don’t understand how they don’t get it!” Luke says from the space under the loft and raising his arms in frustration to Reggie, who’s on the couch. “They always said they’d support me, but all of a sudden I don’t want to go to college and everything comes crashing down?”

Reggie hums, trying to think of something that might comfort his friend. “You could get them to come to our gig next weekend? It’s a pretty big venue and we’ve got some consistent fans now, that might help them see this is a feasible path.”

Luke collapses on the couch beside Reggie with a huff. “I could, but I invited them to all of our early gigs and they didn’t come to anything besides the school talent show in sophomore year. I just don’t know how a degree would help a rock band. It just seems like a distraction.” Luke laughs a little to himself, obviously seeing the same irony Reggie does in that statement.

“Maybe do a music degree? It might be helpful, especially if you have to go for something.” Reggie suggests. He’s just trying to diffuse the situation; he already basically lives here, and it’d be a pity for Luke if he had to join him.

“Yeah, and spend hours on audition pieces when I could be spending hours on band practice? No thanks. Also, what the hell am I gonna do with a music degree? I don’t think Bach or Beethoven will help with rock.” Reggie thinks sampling from other genres might be pretty cool, but like hell, he’s going to say that to Luke right now. Reggie knows there’s no helping this cause right now, there’s no way to fix years worth of parental problems in an evening, so instead he does what he does best – distract.

“You know, I’m pretty hungry and Bobby and his parents are with his grandparents, you want to order pizza and play Mario Kart? I brought my SNES over here a month ago.”

“Honestly, Reg? That sounds amazing.” Luke flops to the left, his head landing in Reggie’s lap and his feet kicking over the other arm of the couch. His beanie falls off his head a little and Reggie pulls it all the way off so he can run his fingers through Luke’s hair.

“How much should we order? I missed lunch so I’m good with ordering a bunch.” In reality, they had made quite a bit of money from their last gig, so between the both of them, they could definitely afford for Luke to eat his feelings tonight. This statement, however, had the opposite effect on Luke. He sits up quickly, dislodging Reggie’s hand, and turns to Reggie with a concerned look on his face.

“What do you mean you missed lunch? I thought we stocked protein bars in here for the explicit purpose of preventing you from skipping lunch?” That’s a half-truth and they both know it. Initially, that is why they were stocked – Reggie had spent one too many weekends in the garage while Bobby either wasn’t there or didn’t know and there was no food in the studio. As time passed, however, the bars became communal band snacks as it was a lot less disruptive to grab a bar quick than to trek into the Wilson household if someone got hungry during band practice.

“We ran out of bars last week. Bobby’s mom said she’d pick up more when they got back on Sunday. Anyway, pizza?” Luke sighs but doesn’t fight the lunch issue any longer.

“Only if we get cheesy garlic bread too.” Luke says with a bit of a smile on his face.

“What type of pizza night would it be if we didn’t?” Reggie shoots back.

Later that night, both boys were fighting yawns while trying to stay awake long enough to get a definitive Mario Kart winner. If they were getting the controllers a little too greasy and scattering the pizza boxes around the studio instead of keeping them around the table, well Reggie wasn’t complaining tonight.

5 --

All four members of Sunset Curve exit the venue, walking calmly down the street until they turn the corner. As soon as they know they’re out of view of the building, they all break out into whoops and cheers, jumping around, and grabbing onto each other.

“I can’t believe we booked the Orpheum, holy shit!” Luke yells in their faces. The remaining three yell incomprehensibly back at him.

Once they all calm down, Bobby says, “I can’t believe we got it.”

“It only took us, what? Two years?” Reggie asks.

“And every single favour we’ve ever had.” Alex adds.

“But we did it, boys, we finally made it.” Luke says, slapping each one of them in the chest with a massive smile on his face.

“How about we take the day off?” Bobby proposes.  “We’re right by the beach, there’s months until this gig, and frankly, I think we all deserve to celebrate a little.” Reggie and Alex both voice their approval, while Luke looks slightly apprehensive.

“C’mon Luke, the gig isn’t ‘til July, and Bobby’s right – we do deserve to celebrate for a bit, we’ve been rehearsing nonstop for at least two months now.” Alex says, resting his hand on Luke’s shoulder.

Luke wavers for a moment before his smile breaks through and he agrees. They take off down the street, bumping their shoulders together occasionally and sharing massive grins.

They’re just passing by the pier when Reggie smells the telltale grease of a pizzeria and realizes, since their meeting at the Orpheum was at noon, none of them have had lunch yet.

“Hey, do you guys want to get pizza? We could bring a box down to the beach.” Reggie says.

Luke grabs Reggie’s face with a hand on either side. “Reggie, that is the best idea I have ever heard.” He says, completely seriously.

Fifteen minutes later, Bobby’s carrying a probably overpriced pizza while they all settle into the sand farther down the beach. They each grab a slice and Luke holds his up like one would a drink during a toast.

“To Sunset Curve, boys, we’re gonna be legends!” He says.

“To Sunset Curve!” The three cheer back, toasting their slices against Luke’s.

They spend the rest of the day laughing and joking around. Reggie knows they’re all going to be finding sand in their shoes for weeks after this, but he can’t find it in himself to care. As the sun starts to set, they all get up and throw out the pizza box at the top of the beach. The trek home is a little long but none of them care.

They’re gonna be legends.

+1 --

They, in fact, were not going to be legends. Well, most of them wouldn’t be. Instead, they find themselves 25 years in the future, with no Bobby and no Sunset Curve. There were some good things about the future though, they have a new name, a crazy talented lead singer with the voice of an angel, and they finally got to play the Orpheum – even if they did have to go through hell to do it.

Ever since Julie saved them from Caleb’s stamps, they’ve found the boys are more like lifers. They can now sleep and eat, although they haven’t tested if they have to like lifers, but they can also still teleport and pass through doors. Another ability that came with this half-lifer status is that they can choose to make themselves visible to lifers without playing music with Julie. This particular ability came in useful when Julie decided to tell Ray about them; it’s a lot easier to explain ghosts when they can just appear right in front of your face.

As it stands now, Ray has all but adopted the three of them. Reggie shied away from Ray at the beginning, unable to handle the potential rejection he had grown to expect from parental figures, but it’s been over a month and the other shoe hasn’t dropped yet. In fact, the exact opposite had happened, Ray not only had accepted Reggie’s near-constant presence around him, but he had started including him in what he was doing. Reggie has learned more about photography than he ever knew possible and was even told the super-secret Molina family recipe for hot chocolate.

The boys have slowly started to be incorporated into Molina family traditions and tonight was time for another: monthly Friday pizza nights. They’ve been outsiders to this tradition before, losing Julie for the night back before they could eat, but now that they could, there was no way they would miss it.

Currently, they’re all in the living room waiting for the pizza to arrive. Alex is in the middle of a story about one of Sunset Curve’s first times busking on the pier. Luke is laughing along with it, clearly forgetting about the fact that this story ends with him tripping over his guitar case and almost ending up in the water.

“Wait, Alex, I forgot to ask, how’s your ghost boyfriend doing?” Luke abruptly says, interrupting Alex mid-sentence, seemingly remembering the end to this story if the pink dusting his cheeks is any indication.

Alex’s reaction to his question is instantaneous – his ears heat up and he starts fiddling with the strap of his fanny pack. He just barely manages to spit out a, “He’s not my – okay,” before turning beet red. Just then, the doorbell rings and everyone starts getting up – Ray to get the pizza and the rest to go to the dining table.

“Saved by the bell.” Reggie says to Alex on his way past, jostling Alex slightly with his elbow.

“You could say that, yeah” Alex responds with a slight laugh.

“Seriously though,” Julie chimes in. “You should invite him to band practice again, it was a lot of fun when he was here.”

“You can’t even see him!” Alex says. Everyone was a little disappointed when they found that out. Julie and Willie were looking forward to meeting each other, but it was quickly obvious that Julie’s ghost-seeing abilities only applied to the former members of Sunset Curve.

“Still, it was fun to have him around. Also, I think I think the day you brought him over was the best you’ve ever played in rehearsal.” Julie says with a wink and then walks away to the table.

“That wasn’t – okay.” Alex says defeatedly, turning to Reggie.

“You really did kill it that day, man.”

They both turn back to the table just in time to see Luke pull out Julie’s chair for her. Both Alex and Reggie look at each other, exchanging knowing glances.

“So, we all saw that, yeah?” Carlos loudly whispers to Reggie and Alex, looking directly at Luke and Julie who are holding eye contact that’s just a little too long to be subtle.

“Yeah we did, little buddy. But c’mon, let’s go have some pizza.” Reggie says, ruffing Carlos’s hair, just as Ray comes back with the boxes.

As the six of them sit down around the dining room table, Reggie is reminded of the family pizza nights he would have as a kid, with everyone crowded around a table and laughter filling the air. Except now instead of a large pepperoni pizza in the middle, there were two pizzas – a vegetarian and Hawaiian – and a box of wings. There was also a sad-looking salad that Reggie was 75% sure Ray only threw together in case Tía Victoria came by. The laughter and sense of yes this is exactly where you’re supposed to be feeling of home was the exact same though.

Alex bumps Reggie’s shoulder, knocking him out of the slight daze he had fallen into, and Reggie turns to him and smiles. It had taken a slightly horrific death, twenty-five years, and a brush with another second death, but Reggie had finally found his way back home.

[fieryanmitsu]

Intertwined Roots | ch. 8 - “laughter” | A3! AU

Ahhhhh!! It’s been almost a month since I last updated “Intertwined Roots” and I’m so glad to be back!! I still have to finish up my Rare Pair Week entries, but I really wanted to come back to my babies, so decided to squeeze in an update here first!

We’ve finally reached the chapter where all four kiddos meet!! This was a moment I was greatly anticipating, so I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter!

Tag list: @azamitmg​

“Intertwined Roots” is an A3! alternate universe series where Izumi, Itaru, Tsumugi and Tasuku grow up as childhood friends.

For the summary, background and notes about the “Intertwined Roots” universe, along with more chapters, please refer to the “Intertwined Roots” Masterpost.

Masterpost for my other fanfiction: here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu!

INTERTWINED ROOTS – ch. 8

“laughter” | spring | Tsumugi (age 5), Tasuku (age 5), Itaru (age 5) & Izumi (age 4)

Itaru’s stomach was in knots. He had never been more nervous in his life.

“I-Izumi… Wh-What if they don’t like me?” Itaru asked quietly, his hands wringing the edge of his shirt.

“Course they’ll like you!” Izumi declared. “They’re my bestest friends, and you’re my bestest friend now, too! So, we’re all friends!”

“Umm, I… I don’t think… that’s how it works,” the brown-haired boy murmured, confused by her logic.

It had only been a few days since he’d met Izumi, but it had been a life-changing experience for the bespectacled boy. No matter how awkward or quiet he was, the energetic girl never seemed to mind – rather, she somehow continued the conversation even without his responses. She also didn’t laugh at how bad he was at climbing the jungle gym – always cheering him on instead of leaving him behind. Even when he won all of their games, rather than getting upset at his constant victories, she’d challenge him to another round with even more determination than before.

And, now that he had a taste of what it was like to have a friend, he feared losing her.

Izumi often talked about her two other friends, Tsumu and Tachan. She said that they were her best friends and that they were lots of fun – even though Tachan was a baldie butthead sometimes. The girl had been ecstatic to introduce him to them once they returned from their Golden Week visit to some out-of-town family members.

However, rather than feeling anticipation at meeting them, Itaru only felt dread. If Tsumu and Tachan didn’t like him, just like most of the other kids he’d met, would that mean he couldn’t play with Izumi anymore? The thought made his throat tighten.

“Oh, look! They’re here!” Izumi exclaimed, waving both of her arms above her head at three oncoming figures.

“Izuuuumiiii!!” a blue-haired boy yelled back. Beside him, a taller boy with hair shaved short to his head waved an arm back. Trailing behind them was an older boy with dark hair.

Itaru wished he could prepare himself better, but, before he knew it, the two younger boys were running towards them.

Izumi immediately threw herself at the blue-haired boy, hugging him tight.

“I missed you, Tsumu!”

“Me, too!” Tsumugi replied with a giggle.

“Hey, how come I don’t get anything!” Tasuku demanded.

Izumi turned her head towards Tasuku and stuck her tongue out at him. Itaru could see the taller boy’s eyebrows raise and, a second later, Tasuku smirked and jabbed Izumi in the ribs with his fingers. Izumi squealed and lunged at him, trying to jab him back, but the boy just danced away. With a yell of protest, Izumi chased after his retreating figure.

Itaru’s head was spinning and he dropped his gaze to look at his feet. He thought he might be feeling sick.

Then, suddenly, his vision was filled with yellow.

“This is for you!” a soft voice chirped.

Itaru looked up from the small bouquet of big, yellow daisies and came face-to-face with Tsumugi.

“F-For me?” Itaru asked uncertainly.

“Yeah! My grandma grew them! She said that the yellow ones are for friends!” the boy chattered excitedly. “So, umm, my name’s Tsumugi! Will you please be my friend?”

Itaru was thunderstruck. His gaze flickered down from Tsumugi’s shy smile to the flowers clutched in his hand, not quite believing that a second person – in the span of less than a week – was asking to be his friend.

After a long second, Itaru finally reached out and slowly took the bright yellow flowers from Tsumugi’s unwavering hand. He gentle fingered one of the petals – they were velvety and soft.

“Yay! Let’s play together lots, okay, Itaru?” Tsumugi said with a bright smile.

“H-How did you know my name?” Itaru asked, surprised.

“Izumi talked lots about you when we played yesterday,” Tsumugi responded.

Then, a whirlwind of brown hair flew past them and Izumi was suddenly behind Itaru, clutching onto his shoulders.

“You’re so mean, Tachan – my hair’s all messy now!” Izumi exclaimed with a pout. “You better not be mean to Itaru or I’ll beat you up!”

Itaru’s eyes flickered up to stare at Tasuku, who had come to stand beside Tsumugi.

“So, you’re Itaru, right?” the taller boy asked. “I’m Tasuku.”

Maybe it was because Itaru was taken aback by Tasuku’s size – being much bigger than Tsumugi and himself – but, instead of saying ‘nice to meet you’, like he had been taught by his parents, Itaru blurted something out instead.

“There’s no way you can beat him up, Izumi. He’s huge.”

“Wh-What?! I-I so can!” Izumi protested, stomping her feet. “Just watch!”

The girl then launched herself at Tasuku and headbutted him in the stomach. The movement took the taller boy by surprise and he yelped as he was knocked onto his behind. Izumi, unable to stop her momentum, promptly toppled over him.

A part of Itaru was alarmed at what had just happened, but another part of him found the entire situation – a tiny girl barrelling into someone a full head taller than her – so absurd that it was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that a laugh ripped itself out of Itaru’s throat and he was practically doubled over as giggles wracked his body.

“H-Hey! You’re laughing!” Izumi gasped.

Realizing that he was being called out, Itaru calmed himself immediately, nudging his glasses up to wipe his eyes with one hand.

“S-Sorry,” he apologized, suddenly nervous that maybe he shouldn’t have laughed. Was she mad?

“B-But…” Izumi’s eyebrows furrowed, and her cheeks puffed out. “You didn’t even laugh at my funny faces yesterday!!”

Itaru distinctly remembered the ‘funny faces’ she was talking about. He wasn’t sure how to tell her that they hadn’t been funny.

“Here, try again!! I’ll definitely make you laugh this time!”

Izumi then squished her face between her hands and puckered out her lips while rolling her eyes.

From beside him, Tsumugi burst into giggles. Itaru, on the other hand, could only tilt his head. It looked weird, but not quite funny.

“You look like a demon,” Tasuku remarked dryly.

Itaru clapped his hand over his mouth as he let out a snort.

“HEY!”

And there we have it!! Our babies are all together now!! I didn’t originally imagine that I would keep things chronological for so long, but I ended up really wanting to set up the foundation of how they all met before I jumped around! I’ve got one more chronological chapter left after this one to “wrap up” what I’d consider their first meetings, so to say.

After that, I plan to post non-chronological snippets from various times of their lives in no particular order. I’ll note that, timeline-wise, this fic series will only cover their “childhood” (i.e. up until Izumi and Itaru’s high school graduation).

I already have a pool of ideas, but I don’t actually have a preference for the order in which to write them. SO… I’d like to ask all of you awesome readers for opinions! Hearing everyone’s feedback on the chapters so far has been so motivating for me and I’m so happy that there’s people out there who love this series that I’ve put together! As my way of giving back, I’d like to open “requests” for the upcoming chapters!

How it’ll work is that you can request any “set” of characters (any combination of two, three or all four of our main characters) and then just let me know which age range you’d like to see (preschool/elementary age, middle school age or high school age). So, if there’s any particular interaction/combination of characters you’d like to see, please drop a comment/ask (anon asks are enabled!) with something like “Itaru and Tasuku, high school age” and I’ll write the next chapters in order of requests that I receive!

When I run out of requests to line up, I may open them up again, or do something different to decide what comes out next!!

Thanks so much for your support so far and I look forward to hearing from all of you!! As usual, if you enjoyed reading, please consider reblogging to help me out!!

-Anmitsu

[entity9silvergen]

He Is Mild And He Is Meek (ATLA Fanfiction)

Summary:  

He is mild and he is meek, he is Momo and he is what I seek.

Suki always wanted three things in life. One was to become a professional soccer player. The second was to live in a cute apartment filled with succulents. The third was to get a cat.

Momo probably wasn’t anyone’s first pick as a pet but Suki was determined to get this cat to love her as much as she loved him. If only he’d accept he had a home now.

Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender

Characters: Suki, Momo, Sokka, Aang

Relationships: Suki & Momo, Suki & Sokka, Momo & Aang, Mentioned Aang/ Katara, Past Suki/ Toph

Other Tags: AroWriMo, Oneshot, Modern Setting, Modern AU, Transgender Character, Aromantic Character, Trans Suki, Aromantic Suki, Lesbian Suki, Aro Trans Lesbian Suki, Trans Aang, Bi Sokka, Queer Toph, Cat Momo, Dog Appa, Pet Adoption 

Warnings: Brief Mentions of Sex, Minor Swearing

Word Count: 6.7K

Chapter Count: 1 (Oneshot)

Author’s Note: I was working on my third AroWriMo story and was about to take a break when this idea hit me. I know it’s kind of out there but I like trying different stuff so here we are.

This is very out of my comfort zone. It’s a Modern/ Real World AU story with a sapphic aromantic transfem Suki adopting a cat. I am an achillean aroace trans man with a dog. I also don’t play soccer or work in tech and I’m writing about that a lot here. I am writing about so many things I don’t know about so feel free to call me out if things aren’t quite accurate. The main focus is on Suki and Momo becoming friends so hopefully it won’t be an issue.

The title comes from the poem The Lamb by William Blake.

This fits with the prompt for Week 4, non-romantic relationships. Because pets count, guys. Originally I was going to write a fic about Lin figuring out she’s aro and coming out but I like this better.

Also read it here on Ao3.

======

As long as Suki could remember, she’d always had three goals in life.

Goal number one had always been to play professionally for a women’s soccer team. 

Unfortunately, biology was not in her favor and she couldn’t even play on her college soccer team. For either sex. What kind of bull was that? If they were going to misgender her, they could at least do it by letting her play for the men’s team. Not that she would if she was offered. There were some things she wouldn’t compromise on. 

It was upsetting but she tried not to let it get her down. She’d come this far and she wasn’t going to let this stop her. She ended up on her school’s girl’s ice hockey team for all four years. It was just because they were short on players and they needed six to compete. Apparently not a lot of girls were interested in ice hockey? Suki actually really enjoyed it, even if the other teams always called her a man when they lost. 

Maybe it was for the better because once she’d graduated, one of her teammates introduced her to the Kyoshi Warriors. They weren’t professionals but they competed in organized tournaments. All women's organized tournaments. It wasn’t what Suki had dreamed of but soccer was still a part of her life. Maybe one day the sports industry would be more accepting but for now, this was enough.

Goal number two had always been to live in a cozy apartment with a crapton of succulents. 

She was a cottagecore lesbian who couldn’t keep a plant alive for the life of her, okay? And succulents were cute. Don’t judge. This one was a much easier goal to accomplish. She and her buddy Sokka had scored a job in webdev for this big gaming company right after they graduated from college. They were stuck coding for a smaller, newer game but popularity had surged and she and Sokka were making decent coin now. Enough that they no longer had to crash at Toph’s place. Well, Suki didn’t have to. Sokka stuck around for a bit. Suki was pretty sure they tried dating and it didn’t work out. That was probably a good thing because Suki really didn’t want to tell Sokka she’d been hooking up with Toph when they’d moved it. How awkward would that conversation be? Like, hey Sokka. You know you’re dating my ex-fuck buddy? Well now you do. Bleh.

But the point was that Suki had it good now. She wasn’t rolling in dough or anything- she’d painted most of the artwork around the apartment and all her succulents she’d grown herself from cuttings because she still couldn’t really afford to do anything else- but she was doing well. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay here forever but she might.

The third and final goal was to get a cat.

Because who needed a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or enbyfriend? Wives, husbands, any kind of spouse wasn’t the life for her. No, she wanted to live with a cat in a house filled with plants, damn it. Would the cat try to eat her succulents? Probably. Would that stop her? No. No, it would not.

So that led to right now. With her ideal home secured and a place on a soccer team, Suki decided it was time to get a cat.

She’d spent awhile looking online. Like, years. Years of research. She didn’t have much experience with cats. She had a pair of cats as a kid, sisters actually, but they’d died when she was pretty young. Not because her family was filled with terrible pet owners or anything. No, the cats had just gotten old. Her parents just decided to get a lot of pets as “practice” or whatever before having kids. She’d found out later in life that it’d taken a long time for her mother to get pregnant with her big sister Ty Lee so maybe they’d thought they just weren’t going to have kids or something.

Ty Lee’s friend Mai had a cat growing up, a kitten, so most of Suki’s cat experiences came from that. The cat’s name was Azula and she was a mean thing. Suki had gotten countless scratches on her arms from her but they were worth it to have those brief moments of sheer, unfiltered acceptance only an animal could have before the little jerk unleashed hell on her hands. Azula somewhat grew out of it when she reached adulthood but she never stopped being a terror.

Mai moved away at some point when Suki was around nine or ten and she took Azula with her. Which made sense, Azula was a cat, but Suki still missed having her around. Since then, the only cat she’d interacted with was this tortoiseshell she’d seen on a walk in high school. She’d been having a pretty day- er, week- and she thought a walk to the elementary school down the block would clear her head. She’d spotted the cat across the street and hurriedly crossed in hope she could get a better look. It’d been a pleasant surprise that the cat seemed equally delighted to see her and approached her as well, demanding pets for a good half hour before Suki realized she had to be getting home. She came back the next week, hoping to see the cat again, but she never did. It was too bad, she’d never met a cat who did anything like that.

So the years of research were necessary. She was only experienced with, what, four cats? Wait actually, her extended family members had some cats but they didn’t count. They were assholes. But four to seven, give or take? Not a lot.

Constantly googling stuff about cat care made stuff about cat adoption show up on her brower a lot which was kind of annoying in college since she couldn’t have a cat in her dorm but she let herself indulge once in a while. She had to know what kind of cat she wanted, right? Well, she thought so. Turns out she was a bit off center. Cats weren’t really bred like dogs. With dogs, you had a ton of options. There were labs, german shepherds, huskies, dobermans, dalmatians, sheep dogs, collies, and countless other breeds. With cats, you had orange, white, black, brown and grey. You also had stripes, patches, and plain but that was pretty much it. It was more important where the cat came from than what kind.

It took Suki awhile to realize most of the advertisements she saw were from cat mills. Turns out there are a lot of weirdos out there who bred their cats to pump out kittens to sell. On one hand, gross and she knew she shouldn’t further support those kinds of businesses but on the other, they needed good homes. These people had no morals, who knew where those little kittens were going to go? Not the sellers, that’s for sure.

It was hard to tear herself away from those sites but she was glad she did.

There were a lot of family cats who’d gotten pregnant by accident and the owners needed someone to take the kittens off them. They sold cheap but the cats were usually well taken care of and the sellers made sure the new owners weren’t, like, animal abusers are anything. The bar was kind of low but it was a lot better than kitten mills.

Then there were shelters.

Suki’s family, as much as they loved animals, never got pets from shelters. They had too many issues, they said. It’s easier to train a younger animal, they said. You have no idea where they’re from, they said. Ty Lee always pointed out the animals needed homes. Suki always asked if the animals who were there for too long got euthanized. Neither sister could really remember what their parents’ responses were but neither of them ever tried to buy pets from shelters, even as adults.

Until now.

Looking on the shelters’ websites swayed Suki a bit. A lot of shelters didn’t euthanize but usually pets would go to different shelters if they were at one for too long and sometimes those new shelters did. There was a wide variety in the policies at the different shelters. Some of them really prioritized the animals’ wellbeing but some… really… didn’t.

She decided on visiting a small volunteer-run animal shelter. They were having a… a sale? What’s it called when places with animals just stuck a bunch of animals outside and let people wander around and look at them? A farmer’s market? No, wait, that was food. An open house? Gosh, she should know this. She didn’t though and she was going anyway.

It was a Sunday the day she decided to go. It was the only day on the shelter’s calendar that lined up with her schedule for the next month or so. After throwing on her lucky green blouse, applying some light makeup, and firing off a quick text to Sokka letting her know she wouldn’t be around today, she headed out.

“Hey there!” a bright boy in a blinding orange t-shirt greeted as she approached the shop the kennels were set up. “I love your necklace! Where’d you get it?”

Suki tried her best not to finger the necklace she had on but quickly relaxed when she noticed the dog tags around the boy’s neck. The pronoun dog tags. This guy was trans too. Or an ally at least. He probably recognized her programmer socks from a distance and her white ring up close. It was a massive relief. She hated getting questions about her name when she signed paperwork. And knowing her, there was a pretty good chance she’d be signing some adoption papers today.

“Oh, um, I made it,” Suki said, feeling a bit proud at the way the boy’s eyes bugged out of his head.

“Really? That’s so cool! I’ve looked for pronoun necklaces online but they’re just so chunky. That’s why I like my dog tags! My dog Appa has some too!” the boy rambled excitedly. “Anyway, anything I can help you with? You are here to look at animals, right? If you’re not, I’d totally apologize for just yelling at you out of nowhere but it’s kind of my job.”

Suki laughed and decided she liked the guy. “No, don’t worry. I’m here to look at cats, actually.”

“Oh that’s great! I love cats but I’m allergic,” the boy- Aang, according to his name tag- said. He jangled something in his pocket, presumably allergy pills, and began leading her to the tables where lighter animals’ kennels were placed on. “We’ve got some good ones here today! Who should we visit first? You looking for a boy cat or a girl cat?”

“Gender is a social construct,” Suki responded, amused by Aang’s delight at her response. “Surprise me.”

“Okay, um, let’s see. Oh here’s Haru! He’s a good boy,” Aang said, leading him over to a wire exercise pen with three cats inside. “See, Haru’s the brown one. Teo and Duke are the other brown ones.”

One of the cats meowed loudly at the sound of his name, startling the other two awake.  One of them lifted his head with a dazed look in his eye and a long piece of lint stuck to his face. Suki couldn’t help but snort at the sight of it.

“Classic Haru,” Aang chuckled. Suki still wasn’t quite sure which cat he was talking about but he was already moving along. “Um, okay, so over here we’ve got three more. This is Lu Ten and- Jet! Stop trying to eat Kuei’s ear! Wait, no. I’m sorry. Don’t look at me like that! You brought this upon yourself!”

Suki’s attention drifted down the table as Aang bickered with the cats. They were funny but she was too distracted by the lone crate at the end of the table for her to notice. She lifted a finger, drawing Aang’s attention to it. “Is there anyone in there?”

Aang looked up, Jet in one hand and Kuei in the other. “Oh that? Oh yeah, that’s Momo.”

“Can I see him?”

Aang put Jet and Kuei down, looking kind of hesitant. “There’s a reason Momo’s all alone.”

“Is he aggressive?”

“What? No. No, he’s like the total opposite of aggressive. Really shy actually. He’s a rescue. My girlfriend found him on the streets a couple weeks after this hoarder got evicted. The guy had, like, sixty cats who all got sent to shelters around the state but some of them got loose. We think Momo was one of them. He gets kind of scared around other cats,” Aang said, scratching the back of his head with one hand. “I don’t think he’s scared of humans, exactly, but I don’t think he’s going to get adopted anytime soon. I’d take him but, you know, allergies. I thought it might do him some good to get used to being out here though. Took me forever to convince my boss.”

“Can I see him?”

“O-okay. I don’t see why not. Just try to stay quiet. I don’t want to scare him too much.”

Suki nodded and Aang led her down the table. The crate was facing away from the rest of the animals and Aang made sure to move slowly when he moved into sight. “Hey, buddy. It’s me. Aang. You remember me? Yeah, you do. I brought Suki! She’s just going to say hi, alright?”

Aang nodded to Suki and she shifted so she was within view of the wire mesh that was the crate’s door. She crouched down a bit, trying to get into view, and was immediately met with two wide, green eyes.

“Hey, Momo,” she cooed. “Is this alright?”

She slowly put her hand near the door. Momo stared at it for a few moments from his place curled up at the back of his crate before stretching his neck a bit to sniff. She glanced at Aang, trying to see if what she was doing was alright. He looked absolutely mystified. Taking that as a good sign, she put her hand against the door. To her surprise, Momo got up and nuzzled her hand through the wire.

“Wow, he never does that,” Aang commented. “Hopefully that means he’s getting better. Or that you have cat magic!”

“Can I adopt him?” Suki asked before she knew what she was saying.

“I don’t literally mean you have cat magic.”

“Wha- Yes. I know I don’t have cat magic, Aang,” Suki sighed and ducked her head a bit to look into Momo’s cage. He was a cute little guy. Maybe a year old. If he was from a hoarding house like Aang thought he was, he’d probably been born there. Poor boy probably didn’t know what it felt like to have a real home. “I think… I’d like to give him a shot. Give him a home. I know I’d probably have to put more work into it than I would for another cat but I’m willing to do that extra work for him. He deserves it.”

Aang smiled and it wasn’t one of the beaming ones like before. This one was a lot softer. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. You really sound like you’ll be a good pet-owner. We have to do background checks and stuff, obviously, and you can’t, like, take him home right now but if you think you’re ready, I’ll put your name down and we can start the adoption process.”

Suki shot Momo one last glance and nodded. “Nothing would make me happier.”

===========================

She ended up driving to get him at seven am the next Friday.

She’d been planning on getting him in three weeks but on Thursday Aang had called her to tell her Jet was stirring up trouble again and Momo had freaked out and he really wanted to get him out of there. They’d planned on Saturday but Momo freaking out was agitating the other cats and Aang thought it would be best if Suki came sooner so she got herself and Sokka out of work and now they were driving to the Southern Air Animal Shelter.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’re getting a cat,” Sokka whined as they pulled into the parking lot. “At least tell me he’s black. Then you’d be, like, a sexy lesbian witch with a sexy black cat... famialir… thing.”

“Momo’s white.”

“Aw. That’s too b- Oh wait, that actually fits your aesthetic way better. Blue eyes?”

“Green.”

“Even better! I like him already!”

Suki snorted and flicked him in the side of the head when they pulled into their parking spot and came to a stop. “Just wait here, alright?”

“Sure thing. Try not to take forever. Unlike some people, I need to get back to work this afternoon.”

Suki flipped him off and headed inside.

The woman at the desk was kind enough and Suki didn’t have to wait long before she was redirected to Aang. The man looked a bit frazzled but still looked bright as ever. “Hey Suki! Boy am I glad you’re here. I’m sorry we had to hurry things like this but I really think this is what’s best for Momo.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Suki assured him. “Is he alright?”

“I think so. I’m just glad he had a home lined up and all ready to go,” Aang admitted as he led her to the part of the building reserved for cats. “I mean, he’s well treated here and I’ll miss him but I think he needs his peace.”

The cat corner wasn’t nearly as loud as the dog department must be but there were a few more vocal cats meowing here and there. Suki kind of wanted to stop to play with them but she wasn’t here for them. She was here for Momo.

Once again, Momo was at the farthest end of the wing and as far away as the other cats as possible. She felt a stab of pity for him when she saw him. He was curled up at the back of his kennel, face buried in his tail. When he heard them approach, he looked up with the most terrified look in his eyes and mewed softly.

“I know, buddy,” Aang told him, looking sad, “but Suki’s here. Do you remember her? She’s going to take you to your forever home.”

Aang unlatched the door and Momo tipped his head, looking confused. With Aang’s approval, Suki reached in and pulled him out, holding Momo carefully. “There we go. It’s going to be alright now, Momo.”

“Let’s get him out of this wing,” Aang said. Suki nodded in agreement, feeling Momo quivering in her arms, and the two hurried away from the other cats. Back in the lobby, Momo already seemed a lot calmer. Still nervous but better.

“Normally, all the paperwork would be done by now but due to the circumstances, just sign here,” the woman at the desk said, sliding a form across the table. “We can mail you the rest of the paperwork or you can come by later.”

Suki nodded and jotted down her initials on the form with her free hand. She tried at least skimming the rest of the form like any responsible person should but she was too worried about the cat in her arms to really care. The receptionist glanced it over once before giving Suki the okay.

“Do you have someone to drive you home or do you have a crate in your car?” Aang asked when she was done.

“Both. I came here with my friend and I already bought everything,” Suki told him. She flashed him a smile. “Thanks for everything, Aang.”

“No problem. Just doing my job,” Aang answered, matching her smile. He passed her a slip of paper. “Here’s just some extra info about Momo I had jotted down. I have one for every cat. I dunno, it may help.”

Suki thanked him one more time before saying goodbye and returning to her car where Sokka was waiting. Honestly she’d kind of forgotten he was there, despite mentioning it to Aang, until she saw his face light up at the sight of the cat.

“Is that him? Oh, what a beautiful boy,” Sokka cooed when Suki took shotgun with Momo in her lap.

Momo glanced up at Suki before shooting Sokka a confused look. Suki scratched him behind the ears. “That’s right, Momo. Sokka’s weird.”

“Hey! I’m the weird one?”

“Yup,” Suki said, popping the p. Sokka made a face at her. She laughed. “Just drive, knucklehead.”

“As my queen commands,” Sokka responded extravagantly and hit the gas. Suki held onto Momo securely and soon, they were heading to Momo’s new forever home.

The drive was overall pretty good. It was a nice drive through some countryside. Suki and Sokka had been too tired that morning to really appreciate it but now that they were more awake and in less of a hurry, they could just soak it in. Suki lifted Momo up a bit so he could look outside, smiling at the way his green eyes widened in wonder at the endless stretches of grass around them.

Momo was fairly calm for most of it but he was a cat in an unfamiliar situation so he cried a bit once in a while. Sokka pulled over to let Momo use the bathroom about halfway through. Sokka told Suki that when his family got their puppy when he was a teenager, his dad had been holding the dog in the back seat and the dog peed on him within twenty minutes of getting in the car. Suki laughed but privately she was grateful Sokka remembered. She wasn’t wearing nice clothes or anything but she really didn’t want Momo peeing on her or in Sokka’s car.

They got back to Suki’s apartment within the hour. Sokka punched in the codes for the gate and elevator, Suki’s hands too full to do it herself, and they headed inside.

“We’re home now, Momo,” Suki told the cat softly, putting him down once the door was closed. She didn’t think he’d run but better safe than sorry. Momo was definitely going to be an indoor cat. “Go explore.”

Momo seemed frozen for a moment before disappearing in a flash, scurrying behind the couch to where most of the cat stuff was. Suki would’ve taken that as a good sign if he’d run to the cat tower but no, Momo had ducked under the little table beside the couch and was watching everything warily.

“At least he’s not hiding under the couch or under the bed,” Sokka pointed out when their efforts to coax him out failed.

“I guess,” Suki sighed, sitting down on the rug a few feet away from the cat. “You want to stay?”

“I need to get back to work,” Sokka told her regretfully. “I’ll text you if anything important happens. And I might be by later. Hopefully this little guy comes out by then.”

Suki nodded and bid him farewell before glancing at Momo. He’d stubbornly tucked in his paws and planted himself firmly under that little table. She shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

=====================

Suki didn’t have to go back to work that day but she did have a soccer match. She could skip if she wanted- they were just playing the Ba Sing Bears and honestly they weren’t that good- but she figured she’d give Momo the chance to explore his home alone. According to the note Aang had given her, Momo was fine being alone for good stretches of time.

(It also said he was litter trained, good on a leash, practically melted into neck scritches, didn’t like his ears being poked, loved polka music but hated any kind of rap except for French, and his favorite show was the Aquaman cartoon from the 60s but Suki didn’t really know what to think of that.)

The Kyoshi Warriors unsurprisingly won their game but the Ba Sing Bears had put up a good fight. The score came closer than it usually did and Suki got more of a workout than she had in awhile. She got home late, having stopped to grab a bite to eat with her teammates. When she opened the door, Momo looked up and froze mid step from where he was standing on the back of the couch.

They made eye contact for a moment and Suki wanted nothing more than to rush over and cheer that he finally ventured out of his hiding place but, not wanting to scare him, she withheld. Tearing her gaze away, she headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She needed it after that game.

She was sweaty and grimy and the hot water was relaxing but she tried to keep the shower quick. As nice as it was to close her eyes, let the heat wash over her, and lose herself in her thoughts, now wasn’t really the time for that. She washed and dried herself quickly before throwing on some lounge clothes and tying her wet hair up in a towel to dry.

When she left the bathroom, Momo was back under the table, eyeing her warily. Suki tried her best to give him his space for a little while, giving the apartment a once over to see if he’d tried to eat any of her beloved plants- he did not- before heading to the kitchen to prepare some cat food.

“I hope you’re hungry, Momo,” Suki said aloud as she plopped down on the rug, cat bowl in her lap. She shook it a bit before plucking a piece out and holding it up like an offering. “You want some?”

Momo just stared at her and didn’t move a muscle. Suki put the piece of kibble down halfway between them and waited. When Momo just looked at it, she went on her phone and tried not to look at him too much.

She was just about to send Sokka a funny meme she found when Momo stepped out, took the piece of kibble, and wandered up to her.

“Hey, buddy,” she cooed. She lifted her hand slowly, waiting for his reaction, before sinking her hand into his soft, white fur. “That’s right. Not so scary, huh? It’s just me. You want some food?”

Momo let out a pathetic mewl and clambered onto her knee to dip his muzzle into the bowl. He took a few neat bites at first before throwing himself into the meal and scarfing it down.

“You were hungry, huh?” Suki said, laughing a bit when Momo slipped and nearly fell in. “I probably should’ve fed you sooner. Don’t worry, tomorrow we’ll get on a schedule.”

Momo swallowed his last bite and mewed again, as if agreeing. Suki set aside the bowl and Momo wandered off but she felt like she’d made some progress. Momo would settle in well.

===================

“He’s not much of a hunter, huh?” Sokka stated as he bounced a feather on a string in front of Momo’s face. Momo just blinked at it and yawned.

It’d been about a week since Momo had moved in with Suki. She thought things were going pretty well. Momo didn’t hide under the table anymore. He seemed to like it down there but he never ran down there in fright and it didn’t take much coaxing to get him to come out. He seemed to prefer the cat tower anyway, though he never climbed very high.

Cats weren’t terribly exciting pets. Momo wasn’t a kitten, she didn’t need to teach him to use a litter box, and he wasn’t much of a scratcher. Still, as timid as he was, he’d proven himself to have some personality.

“He can be spunky when he wants to be,” Suki told him. “Try a ball, he likes batting those around.”

Sokka looked around for a ball and was just about to toss it to Momo when there was a knock at the door.

Momo’s tail shot up but he didn’t run. Suki considered that a good sign. “I can get it.”

Sokka didn’t respond and leaned down to roll Momo the ball. “Go get it. Fetch, boy.”

“He’s not a dog,” Suki called as she opened the door to reveal a familiar face. “Aang?”

“Hey Suki,” Aang greeted with a wild wave. “I just came by to drop off the rest of Momo’s paperwork.”

“I almost forgot about that,” Suki admitted. She accepted the stack of papers from him- ugh, she was really not looking forward to reading through all of those- and stepped aside from the doorway. “Come in. I’m sure Momo would like to see you. I’ve got a friend over but I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“I don’t!” Sokka yelled from the other side of the apartment. 

“Sokka?” Aang called as he entered. “Sokka, is that you?”

“Aang?” Sokka looked up from Momo, face flashing with recognition at the sight of the bald figure by the door, and grinned. “Oh hey! I didn’t know you and Suki knew each other!”

“I didn’t know you two knew each other either!” Aang said, slapping hands with Sokka when he approached. “This is way cool!”

“Wait, how do you know each other? Exes?” Suki guessed, glancing between them.

Sokka made a face. “Ew, no. Aang’s Katara’s boyfriend. We all went to high school together.”

Aang laughed a bit and scratched the back of his head nervously. “So how do you two know each other? Exes?”

“Ew, no,” Suki said, mimicking Sokka’s reaction. He stuck his tongue out at her.

“We went to university together,” Sokka explained. “And we were roommates for a bit, during and after college. And we work together. Just best friends in general. Wow, I’m really surprised I haven’t introduced you two yet.”

“Too much trans power in one room,” Aang joked. He and Suki high fived.

“Too much power for any room,” Suki agreed. “Have you met Toph? The three of us would be unstoppable.” 

“Oh my god,” Sokka said, rubbing his face with his hands. “Just go look at the damn cat, Aang.”

“Don’t talk about Momo that way,” Aang complained but was already hurrying over to the cat tower. “Momo! You miss me, buddy?”

Suki heard a mew from Momo and a sneeze from Aang and she figured everything was okay.

“You look over this and make sure I’m not signing away my soul or some shit,” Suki said, sliding the paperwork into Sokka’s hands, and joined Aang by the couch with Momo against Sokka’s protests.

“No swearing in front of the baby!” Aang piped up as Momo poked his head out of the cat tower and slunk down to the floor. Aang patted his lap and Momo slowly padded over to him. He didn’t climb into his lap like Aang seemed to want but he was nosing his knees curiously and that seemed to equally excite Aang. “What a good boy!”

With Sokka muttering behind her, Suki sat down and scooted over. Momo largely ignored her in a very catlike manner in favor of getting chin scritches from Aang. “I think he’s been settling in well. He doesn’t really hide anymore and he doesn’t really care when someone’s in the room with him.”

“That’s good,” Aang said, moving to scratch Momo’s ears. “Has he been eating?”

“Yeah. Kind of fast actually. He threw up once. It was pretty early on though so it might’ve been stress.”

Aang nodded thoughtfully. “Poop?”

“In the litterbox. Normal looking.” As far as she could tell at least.

“What about wandering the apartment? Does he go in the other rooms yet?”

“A bit. I’ve found him around once in a while but he seems to like it here the most. Is that something I should be worried about?”

Aang shook his head. “If he’s wandering around, that should be a sign he’s getting comfortable. I think it’s normal if he just hangs around in here most of the time though.”

Suki nodded, a bit relieved. It sounded like she was doing a good job. Suki, responsible cat owner. Then came Aang’s next question.

“Have you been playing Aquaman for him? I have some DVDs if you need them.”

======================

It was about a month and a half since Suki got Momo when she had the chance to get another day off from work. 

She loved her job, she really did. Working at Avatar Gaming was truly a dream come true and the project she was working on, The Last Airbender, was actually a lot of fun to work on. Granted, she wasn’t really part of the design or story building parts of the team but it was still satisfying work and could be entertaining. She still got to play around with different characters and attacks regularly. Plus, the work environment was great. She loved going into work. That didn’t mean she didn’t like a day off once in awhile.

Though today, she’d really regret taking the day off.

Momo was a bit antisocial today so Suki was alone in her bed painting her nails. Not the best place to do it, she knew, but she was careful. She missed a phone call, not wanting to pick up her phone with the polish still wet, but it was just Sokka so she didn’t think much of it. He could wait.

It was a good hour later before Suki remembered to call him back. And once she did, she really wished she’d called him sooner. Or not at all.

“Hey,” Sokka said quietly as Suki turned up the volume. His voice cracked, worrying Suki.

“Is everything okay?” Suki asked hurriedly. “Did something happen at work?”

“You could say that.” Sokka laughed but it sounded hollow. “We’re getting laid off.”

“What?” The world seemed to stop around her.

“We’re getting laid off, Suki. The whole team.”

“I heard you,” she croaked in disbelief sitting up a bit straighter. “I- What happened? Why?”

“The Last Airbender is getting popular,” Sokka told her. “They want to- They want another team to work on it. They said they wanted to make it cleaner. More up to standard with their other big games. Make it fancier or whatever. There’s a chance they might hire some of us back but…”

“That’s bullshit,” Suki said almost automatically but it felt like someone else was speaking through her mouth. “No way in hell am I working for them again if they think they can just lay me off.”

Sokka chuckled again. This time there was a bit more life in it but it still sounded as empty as Suki felt. “That’s what I said.”

“Do we have any details yet? How long do we keep working? Are we getting severance pay? Do you have money saved? Are we going to have to-”

“I don’t know yet,” Sokka admitted. “They just announced it, nothing more. They said they’d write everything up soon. I’m… I’m on a walk right now. Just soaking everything in. Trying not to kick over any trash cans. Can I call you back? I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“I- Yeah. Yeah, Sokka. Take however much time you need.”

“Bye.” Then, almost as an afterthought, he softly added, “Love you, no romo.”

That got a chuckle out of Suki, despite the water beginning to well up in her eyes. “Love you too, Sokka. No romo.”

Suki’s phone beeped as Sokka hung up and the dam broke.

Suki didn’t know why she was crying. Geez, she was a grown woman. Getting laid off wasn’t really a big deal, people got laid off all the time, but it was a big deal for her. She’d been working on that game practically since it’s making. Right out of college. It was the longest job she’d ever held down and she’d grown really attached to it. It was hard to think that she wouldn’t be working on it anymore. That her employers just saw her and her team as… worthless.

And there was the whole financial aspect. She needed that job. She needed income. She needed to pay for her apartment and for food and water and medical expenses and for Momo’s everything and insurance and everything. It was all so much. She was fine now but what if the money she had saved ran out before she found another job? Or if she couldn’t find a good job and she got stuck in some minimum wage shithole? 

She wasn’t in college anymore, there were no counselors to help out or career fairs to go to. She’d need to, like, job hunt. With a lay off on her resume. Did layoffs affect things? She knew it wasn’t as bad as getting fired but still. Like a dishonorable discharge. Wait, no, that was probably really disrespectful to say. But it couldn’t look good. Gosh, working for Avatar really was a dream job. She doubted any other big gaming companies were hiring. Any gaming company would be amazing but it was unlikely she’d get another opportunity. Unless they were producing more new games. But then she could just get laid off again when it started getting popular…

She was spiraling. Fuck, where was her phone? If it got tangled in the bed sheets, she’d never find it. She needed to hold something. Something to ground her, something to distract her.

She heard a mew and saw Momo poke his little head through the door.

“Go away, Momo,” she choked out, burying her face in her hands. “It smells like nail polish in here. You’ll hate it. You have such a cute nose and it will hate it.”

Momo ignored her and the smell. He hesitantly padded in before trotting up to the bed and neatly leaping up to where Suki was. Suki momentarily drew her hands away from her face to look at him. He mewled again and butted her knee with his head.

And then Suki couldn’t hold back the waterworks anymore.

Until now, her tears had been silent but now they were gushing out and she couldn’t hold back the sobs. She pulled Momo into her lap and held him close, too caught up in her own whirlwind of emotions to be surprised that he wasn’t struggling. She ran her long fingers through his short, white fur and let herself cry unabashedly. 

Momo didn’t judge her. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t make her feel any worse. Momo didn’t even look at her. He just sat with her, lending any comfort he could with his presence until the tears and sobs began dying down.

“Thanks, Momo,” Suki sniffed, playing with Momo’s ears absently. “You’re a good friend, you know that buddy?”

Momo didn’t give any sign he’d heard her and just snuggled down further into her lap and purred softly. And Suki smiled. She didn’t think she could but she did. She didn’t know what was going to happen and she was terrified for her future but at least she had her cat. With Momo here with her, things would be alright.

============

Other AroWriMo stories my me

[marissapugliese]

Paper 1

How Dance made me who I am today

For my entire life I have been a resident of New York. I was born and raised in Brooklyn; to be specific, a neighborhood located in South West of Brooklyn called Dyker Heights. I grew up being constantly surrounded by my huge Italian family. 85% of my family lives in the same neighborhood or just minutes away which I am fortunate for. I don't quite speak the language fluently but my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles all can. For most of my family, Italian is their first language. Whenever my “Nonna” (italian term for Grandma. speak to me I understand what they are saying and can communicate back after having a second to think about it. Italians are known for their big Sunday dinners, which usually are held a bit earlier than usual dinner time. During these dinners you will eat pasta with tomato sauce, chicken cutlets, eggplant parmesan, meatballs, and everything you can imagine thrown together in a dinner with most of your family. Italians have an old school mentality and are big on learning how to take care of the house meaning cleaning, cooking, washing clothes, and etc. My Italian culture and background has influenced the way I was brought up, which was to always put family first, take care of your household, and eat delicious foods.

Dyker Heights is predominantly a residential neighborhood. Since most of the neighborhood is built up of housing, there is one main thoroughfare which is Dyker Heights Boulevard (13th Avenue). The boulevard is one of the only streets with businesses. As a young child all I really had to know was my neighborhood. My elementary school, dancing school, family, friends, dentist, doctor, and anything you could possibly imagine were just a few minutes away from me. When I was a child, most of the residents of Dyker Heights had come mainly from an Italian cultured background. My family’s culture is Italian as well, so I was mostly surrounded by individuals who grew up the same way I have or follow the same cultural aspects. I attended a Catholic school in Dyker Heights where most of the staff and students had come from the same Brooklyn/Italian culture as well. Although there were others of different races and backgrounds as well, predominantly most of us were similar. All students that attended this school had one thing in common and that was being raised following the Catholic religion. These similarities helped form bonds and friendships with the students at the school. Most of the students who attended the school lived in Dyker Heights or close to it. This made it easier for friendships to continue in and out of school. Along with knowing Dyker Heights well I also know the other neighborhoods that are “bridged” to it well like Bensonhurst, Bay Ridge, and Gravesend.

At the age of four I began dancing at a local dance studio in Dyker Heights, Danceworks Dance Center. Dance has influenced my life tremendously. From an early age, I had found a passion so deep that has impacted me, and my journey of life. As I said the studio is located in my neighborhood so I was surrounded by similar faces and friends that made me feel safe. In the beginning of my life, dance was fun, it was a hobby, and I was good at it. I auditioned for a performing arts middle school Mark Twain, which I later attended after getting in. The school was located in Coney Island, Brooklyn. Transitioning between a small nonetheless Catholic School to a middle school of 500 students per grade year was a bit of a shock, culturally as well. I was surrounded by individuals with many different backgrounds, religions, and other talents like vocal or drama or athletics. This experience had broadened my perspectives of life. I was not limited to what my neighborhood of Dyker had to offer, but I was exposed to a melting pot of kids from all over the borough of Brooklyn who were just as talented and smart. I consistently had classes with the others in “dance talent” and made friendships that have lasted me up until today and that I know I will have forever. Not all these individuals were just like me, which was an Italian Catholic Dyker Heights girl, we were all different but bonded through dance. We shared a love, and passion for the art which created many mutual interests. We all loved watching Broadway shows or seeing any live dance. Most of us were a part of outside dance companies at our local studios that would compete friendly against one another in various locations. We all got to perform together at the end of every year for our showcase, and spent lots of hours rehearsing. These hours spent together along with our mutual interest allowed us to easily get along and create these friendships with one another.

As I was in middle school, dance got more serious and I decided to audition for my dream school which was LaGuardia High School aka the “Fame School”. This highschool was located in New York City just around the corner from Lincoln Center. It was a drastic change for me and shifted me into the person I am today. I was exposed to thousands of people who lived in completely different boroughs and also created friendships with them as well. I was also surrounded by the dance majors everyday for four years which made them a family to me. Having to be a student at LaGuardia took a lot of responsibility at a young age. My highschool was about an hour and fifteen minute train ride. Because of my decision to attend this school, it had welcomed the world of public transportation to me. Before attending LaGuardia I could probably count the amount of times I’ve taken the train or bus on one hand. At the time, little did I know how fortunate I was to be from a neighborhood that made it possible to get around in a car. The life of public transportation was completely eye opening, and something that enhanced my knowledge of what our city had to offer. Having to take the MTA every morning and afternoon of the week was a huge part of sheltering myself from just knowing my neighborhood only. Although I have had many crazy experiences on the train, for example, my friend almost got her hair lit on fire by a stranger on the train… I have gained many life lessons and memories shared with my friends from highschool. LaGuardia itself had hectic long days that had started from 8am to 4:15pm everyday (which is considered long for an average high schooler). In the process it was rough, but I always reminded myself that I was there to do what I loved doing, which was dance. The people who had attended my high school were filled with talent, and light. I would walk through the staircase and find a group of students singing and playing instruments in the staircase, or a group of dancers including myself hitting a 5,6,7,8 in the middle of the hallway. Moments like these were when I realized despite my crazy long days, or how exhausted I was, I was meant to be here. I spent about 75% of my day with dance majors due to our schedules, which helped me develop friendships that I still hold on to. We collaborated with different kinds of artists like singers, actors, or lighting designers to create shows and performances. This has expanded my knowledge of not only my talent but a glimpse of others as well. When I graduated LaGuardia I walked down the stage feeling accomplished, matured, and ready to take on what college had to offer, a glimpse of real life.

I attended dance at my local studio Danceworks while continuing my middle school, and high school education which meant a lot of dance. I was on their competitive team, and the studio was small. My mentors and classmates have been there for me for years, and have watched me grow as a dancer but a person as well. In my years at Danceworks Dance Center I learned what it truly meant to be a team member. I learned what it meant to be disciplined, what it meant to be prioritized, how to be a competitor and how it felt to be fulfilled. I learned what it meant to be disciplined by showing up to class in proper uniform, to do as I was asked to do respectfully, and show discipline in myself by never slacking and pushing myself to exceed my limits. I learned to prioritize dance and my team by working around my life schedule to make sure I was able to perform, rehearse, or compete with my team. It was senior year of highschool and my prom and my last dance showcase with Danceworks Dance Center fell on the same day. You bet I went to that recital and ran afterwards straight to prom, because I knew what it meant to be involved in something so genuine and real; I wanted to be there for my team for every occasion including my last recital. Danceworks Dance Center made me find fulfillment, and made me feel whole. I was so loved, supported, and appreciated; and I felt the same in return. Being a part of the studio has left me with lessons, and experiences that I will continue to carry out. When I graduated from LaGuardia High School, I graduated danceworks as well. I then was asked to come back and teach at Danceworks with some alumni friends as well. I was so honored to be a part of something that was significant in my own life, and ready to take on a teaching position in others lives the same way. The staff at Danceworks that I still currently work at are family, mentors, and bestfriends I will have for life. My experience at Danceworks has come full circle and I would not want it any other way. Till this day the dance studio of Danceworks is my sane place, and the place I feel most comfortable and myself in. I walk into the studio, plant my feet on the Marley, and I feel fulfilled. While teaching at the studio I feel safe, happy even when students stress me out, and grateful to be sharing my passion for the art with a younger generation. My senior year of highschool I had to decide what path I wanted to take. Did I wanna pursue a career in dance or take up a new hobby? I could not let dance go. It has made me who I am today, developed my most precious relationships, and has made me feel home. Dance has expanded my knowledge of New York City as a whole, and has introduced me to so many cultures through the art itself. I learned what responsibility is, how to be a part of something so real, and what it means to give back. So I chose to attend Long Island University as a Dance Major. I chose to attend LIU because of how vigorous, small, and mighty the dance department is. I know I would receive great training and one on one attention. Also, I would be just next door to the heart of New York City allowing me to travel easily to expand relationships for future jobs. I belong to the social group of LIU Students and most importantly the dance department. Dance has gotten me already so far and has opened several doors for me, I am in hopes it’ll continue to do so in the future as well

Glossary Terms:

Nonna: Grandma in Italian.

Sunday Dinner: Italians are known for having an earlier afternoon dinner on Sundays that includes the majority of family and lots of food.

Catholic: a Religion system of faith.

Mark Twain: Middle school located in Coney Island, Brooklyn.

LaGuardia High School “Fame School”: Performing Arts School for grades 9-12. Located in New York City.. Referred to as “Fame School” reflecting on a movie Fame that was inspired by the school LaGuardia itself.

Danceworks Dance Center: A dance studio located in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn.

Lincoln Center: A complex of buildings for the Performing Arts. Located in the Lincoln Sq area of Manhattan in New York City.

5,6,7,8: Dancers way of counting a phrase or routine. Can also be used as a preparation.

Marley: The type of floor most dance studios contain to allow dancers to move in a smooth and safe flooring space.

Long Island University: A college located in Downtown Brooklyn.

#Soc3

me :)

[kidchameleon92]

“life story” 1

i’m not going to edit this at all going along. typos, bad grammar, mistakes. doesn’t matter. this is spontaneous thought.

disclaimer: i changed the word to “spontaneous” from “spurious” which means something completely different, so the first paragraph is already a lie.

anyway, it’s been a really weird and sort of bad couple months for me. mostly in my state of mind. i feel very stuck and very immobile when it comes to my art and career. and that is having a very negative effect on my brain. even though i’m putting out my favorite songs i’ve ever written. i’ve been meaning to write for awhile. i used to post when i lived in los angeles several years ago, just journaling my day to day life. but i haven’t for awhile. i guess i also used to write in a notebook while on different tours. but i think i’ve since thrown that away or hidden it somewhere.

point is: i just want to write to get things off my mind. and hopefully, maybe, it’ll help you (if you care to) get to know me a little more and on a more personal level. even if we haven’t met. and maybe it’ll make what i make (if you care about it) mean more to you. either way, mostly, i just want to rant a bit. so, this is my life’s story. i guess.

chapter 1: kid

i was born in a suburb of the twin cities in minnesota. my parents both grew up in minnesota and lived there their whole lives (until my mom recently moved to tennessee). my mom was a mortician, and my dad was an accountant. also an alcoholic. he cheated on her and left her and i when i was one year old. i remember growing up going to stay with him on weekends, except it was with him and his girlfriend at the time. except he was drunk a lot. and would drive drunk with me (a baby) in the car. so, that’s cool. anyway, my mom was really depressed, and that was not a good time (or so i’ve heard, because i was a baby, so idk).

i stayed with my grandparents a lot, because my mom worked full time. my maternal grandparents lived on a ton of land. my grandpa and i would ride motorcycles and four wheelers and sleep in a treehouse and all that. my other grandparents lived in the same town but in a small house. i used to go up to their cabin during the summer and go fishing and swimming and boating and all that. different g-parent vibes, but loved both a lot.

anyway, when i was three, my mom married my step-dad. he is from india and has had a lot of unique and challenging experiences, so that certainly brought a lot of particular lessons and outlooks into my life. i went there once when i was about 14. it was wild. but so, yeah. that kinda solidified my family unit. my dad got remarried later on as well. but the older i got, i saw him less and less.

so ... i loved video games. i played them all the time. a big part of my childhood. mostly nintendo. explains a lot. as a kid in school (4 years public, 3 years private, 1 year home, 3 years private, 1 year PSEO [look it up]), i was never popular whatsoever. i always wanted to gain some sort of acclaim or attention from my classmates, but was pretty much always looked down on for one reason or another. i remember in elementary school, i was the kid who was literally terrified of storms. probably because i had been in a tornado when i was six. but the moment it would thunder, all the kids would look at me to see if i was gonna cry. usually, i did. and the school nurse would take me outside and we’d walk around as a sort of therapy. i guess it helped sorta. i still get nervous in storms. but i don’t cry.

i also remember a time specifically that i got made fun of for wearing a denver broncos t-shirt. this kid just railed on me because it wasn’t a minnesota vikings shirt. so, one: i don’t even give a fuck about sports. but two: it stuck with me for some reason that someone would be a massive jerk over a t-shirt of a sports team. i guess that’s just because we as humans are messed up things.

anyway, in middle school, i started becoming semi-interested in music. i listened to the radio every night, listening to the top 10 countdown of big songs from that week. kanye, weezer, the click five, black eyes peas, green day. those were some anyway. besides that, i was just listening to like kelly clarkson and relient k or something. my mom had a steven curtis chapman cd in her van i thought went hard. but i started getting into popular music around then. i also started to write my own music. i used to take piano lessons from when i was like six or seven until i was 14 or so. but after i started writing my own songs, i hated practicing assigned pieces. i didn’t care. i wanted to play my own. so, the teacher said if i quit, i couldn’t be her student again. so i did. that’s fine. she said i was her most talented student. but i didn’t work that hard. so, that goes to show that natural talent and hard work have different roles, i suppose. 

chapter 2: girls and high school and such

in high school, i started LiKiNg gIrLs and stuff. i also was still not very popular. i also had started a band (with jack). i wasn’t very good, but i was just as obsessed with it as i am now. anyway, i liked this one girl from my church, and we talked all the time. but because we grew up in a pretty fundamental church culture, we weren’t allowed to date. which honestly, i fine, because looking back, no one knows what they are doing at 16 really. i definitely didn’t. i still don’t know what i’m doing. anyway ...

so, this girl and i half-dated for a couple years, and i was really clingy and annoying. but that’s just how i be. and i thought i was gonna marry her and stuff, because in a fundamental church context, you over spiritualize everything.

[[disclaimer: i am a christian, and i still go to church, but my theology and ideology on a lot of things has just evolved and changed a lot since i was young and since leaving the ultra-americanized/ultra-fundamental “christian” realm. main point being: we all are effed up bro and need saving. i’m an idiot always!]]

but now we’re back. girl “dumped” me and started dating another guy named “patrick” right after, even though she technically wasn’t allowed to date until she was 18. but apparently, she just wasn’t allowed to date me. so, that was cool. anyway, i was angsty, but then i got over it. because i was 17, so life big time goes on.

then i met another girl from canada while i was finishing school and going hard at my band stuff. we hit it off, and i started visiting her up there. and she visited me and all that. it was cool. and then all of a sudden, she really started hating me. and to be fair, i was weird and clingy and sort of a lot to deal with. but we kept dating. all the while, i was sort of leaving behind music to try to get into nursing school. yep, nursing school. but i got rejected, which is great. and so, i decided to go to audio engineering school in canada. and she was gonna go to college in the same city. this is great! so i thought. she dumped me (well, i sort of broke up with myself for her) about a month after we were living in the same city. wack. but it made me buckle down and work my ass off in school. i was top of my class one semester. yeah, i’m not that dumb. sometimes.

towards the spring of the next year, i happened to meet a girl who was at my church with one of my friends. she seemed chill. just talked a little. nothing crazy. happened to hit her up on twitter just to say hi. no intention. we talked a bit. nothing after that. then all of a sudden, a couple months later, i was tweeting about reading harry potter for the first time (note: fundamental upbringing). she happened to tweet me back about it. and long story short, we went out on a date. a sort-of-date. and what was supposed to be a lunch turned into an all day and half the night date. anyway, we got married a year later. after a lot of immigration paperwork and expenses. that’s a whole other post. that sucked. it’s a lot. and it’s why i feel bad for people who have nothing who are trying to come here to flee danger in their own countries. again, another post.

chapter 3: married, and other hard things

so, i forgot to say that before we got married, i lived in los angeles for a year after school. i was doing more sound for film work. on set stuff, post-production. got to do work with like ... james franco, matt damon, emma roberts, william shatner. some cool stuff. but jack’s old band came through on tour, and i saw two shows. and i was like ... bruh. i gotta do music, what am i doing? so, i literally moved back to minnesota within like two weeks, worked as a nursing assistant for a little bit and got married. then moved to nashville like two weeks later. i guess i could’ve stayed in los angeles. but nashville felt like the move at the time. everything happens with a purpose.

so, we moved here, and she couldn’t work for three months because of immigration stuff. so, i was like, well, guess i need a job. so, i got a job managing a home for a couple people with intellectual disabilities. it was super hard. mostly because the company was really, really bad. so, i got another job working as a staffing coordinator in an office for a home health care agency. that was a little better. still tough. but less overwhelming. a couple months after i got that job, i got an offer to go on a country tour playing bass for someone. and i was like ... well, this is why i moved here. so, i quit and went on tour. and shawna actually took my old job. interesting.

i was gone for three weeks, and it sucked and the pay was bad, but at least i was doing what i wanted. but then i got an offer from my friend to do some tech work on a much bigger country gig. i hadn’t done it before, but it was better pay and a better position. and on a bus and nice things and all that. so, i went for it. i pissed the other girl i was playing for off. but that’s show biz, baby. but like, i found a replacement for myself and paid to fly him out to her shows and stuff. so, really she won.

anyway, i toured with this other artist for four years. and i learned a lot. it was very, very challenging, both mentally and physically. and some people are just hard to work with. but i still gained so much valuable experience and insight into touring from that. i also started playing guitar for another artist who was small at the time, but has now had a couple number one hits. but his label fired me because i didn’t look country enough. we’re still homies though, so it’s literally fine. because i do indeed not look country enough.

at the same time, i was doing my own solo music and also producing and writing with and for other people. i’ve had the opportunity to write and produce for everything from independent artists to major label to billboard charting albums to whatever. songs on major television networks. i’m still very un-rich though, if that tells you anything. 

but really, i just wanted to do my own music. and i literally couldn’t get it to go anywhere. i had no idea what the “secret” was. what was i missing? money? connection? power? actually probably all of that, to be honest. this industry is wacko. i was pretty close to giving up.

chapter 4: milkk

i read a satirical article on vice.com about “how to start a trendy band” or something. i thought it was funny. so, i called jack. he had just been kicked out of his old band for no reason. i was like, “bruh, let’s do this article.” and he was like, ok. so, we sort of did. and i’m not gonna go into all the early details, because i’ve done a million press interviews about how our band started. and i don’t wanna say it again. google it.

this was the first time that i actually saw people care about my music. it was a high. it was like a dream. and we hadn’t even had any big song or anything. just the fact that people were listening and engaging was mind blowing to me. but just like with anything, the more things went, the less i found satisfying. the more “likes” or “follows” on socials didn’t feel like enough anymore. the streams didn’t seem good enough. the chart positions on the debut album didn’t seem that great. the hype wore off a little after the debut album hype. and that made me insane. probably because we as humans are not built to be satisfied by the things in our life. “Vanity of vanities!” it’s in ecclesiastes. like the bible one.

chapter 5: now

anyway, that’s bad. i had (and have) let my mind convince me that i have to achieve something in order to be happy or fulfilled, when i know that that stuff will never fulfill me. i could play the biggest stadium and have the biggest song in history, but after a burst of dopamine and excitement, it would be empty. and i know that nothing here will do that. at least, that’s what i believe. my hope is outside of myself.

but that’s hard to internalize when you are so passionate about something, and have been for so long, and all you want to do is create things for other people that they can appreciate and be influenced by. but it’s probably also selfish. like i openly admit i like the idea of fame and presence. and it probably ties all the way back to wanting acknowledgement and attention as a kid, from being unpopular and ridiculed and, honestly, left by my dad. maybe i just therapied myself.

but regardless, i know i can’t put my identity in all this stuff. it’s hard, and it’s harder when you create stuff. because it’s so deeply tied to you. but it’s still not “who i am.” i know who i am and what i believe, but i’m still a mess, so i can’t enact that in my brain perfectly. in fact, far from it.

anyway. it’s late, and i’m going to post this and attempt to not worry about how it does on social media. stupid!!! i just want this out in the world for you to read. hopefully it’s helpful for you in some way. but mostly, it was just cool to write this out, for my own sake.

i’ve been blessed in some amazing ways. my family. oh, yeah i forgot that i have two kids. i love them a lot. i don’t talk about them on social media much. but they are very special to me. and we’ve always been taken care of, even when times were tight or i didn’t know when the next paycheck was coming in or i thought my wife was about to die or whatever. the Lord provided for us every time. and i am grateful to have what career i have. it may be “small” and nothing to look at by the big industry standards, but i believe in what i make so much, and i’m just grateful that anyone cares about it at all. and i will continue to do so until the day i die. because i have to. 

it’s what i was born to do, for better or worse. and no one can tell me otherwise.

[nihalsjourney]

Not wearing my hijab anymore

We’ve entered a new decade, it’s 2020. To be honest I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Eve and the hype around it, which is why I waited with a new blogpost. I think it’s nice to look back on some things, one of them being my very first blogpost on here. (link) December 8, 2015 was my very first day without hijab. I can still feel the stress and anxiety of that day. After that, I never talked about it anymore because I still felt guilt and shame. It’s been four years and I feel like I’m able to talk about this past chapter in my life much better.

So we’re going waaaaay back, beyond those 4 years!

My mother is Dutch and my father is Turkish, my mother converted to Islam 24 years ago. When my parents had my brothers and I, baba (father) felt a stronger sense of practicing Islam better as well as raising us with our Turkish identity. Seeing as how Dutch society forces immigrants to assimilate rather than to integrate. The thought and fear of us losing our Turkish identity really stressed him out. 

Being in an interracial relationship asks for more different responsibilities I think. My mother and baba were integrating in each other’s culture, learning one another’s language while working hard and raising us with best of both worlds. 

As we got older our parents signed us up to an Islamic elementary school. With a school bus we’d go in the early morning from Valkenswaard to Eindhoven. There were both Muslim and non-Muslim faculty. My personal experience wasn’t great, I was already dealing with depression, anxiety, and trauma. I don’t remember a lot from what I learned because I dissociated quite often. It was difficult for me to learn because unfortunately we were taught Islam from a cultural perspective and fear inducing. To me Allah seemed like a big angry man and I refused to believe that.

I remember that all female teachers wore a hijab. Muslim or not. The girls also wore a hijab starting very young. After school they would take it off, others didn’t. I remember one time after gym class that I didn’t put my hijab back on. One of the male teachers who saw us on our way back to class shamed me for it. Looking back it was so awful how at first the girls didn’t even bother or noticed. But once the teacher said something about it they started whispering loudly to each other ‘haram’ ‘she didn’t put her hijab back on!’.

There was this unspoken rule that a girl should wear her hijab ‘full time’ when she’s 12. We’d ask each other, ‘When will you wear your hijab?’ ‘If you don’t start wearing it now you never will!!’ ‘Wearing your hijab at 16 or 18 is too late, you should wear it when you’re at least 12!’ Alhamdulillah (thank God) I can say that my parents never forced me.

I switched schools when I was 8, it wasn’t an Islamic school but I still kept wearing my hijab to school as force of habit.  Once I turned either 10, 11 or 12 years old I started wearing my hijab. After age of 12 I had to switch schools again, this time a dominantly white school. From the maybe 200 students, there were 5 students of colour, 4 of them Muslim and I being the only one wearing a hijab. I was facing a lot of discrimination and Islamophobia already and it only got worse from then on. The majority of white people questioned me about every single little thing, my hijab, Islam, if I sympathize with terrorists, if my father came here for money and if I was oppressed. ‘When did you start to realize you wanted to wear your hijab?’ ‘Did you feel ready?’ ‘So you’re Muslim, right? What do you think of ISIS?’ The older I got, I hoped that the questions would stop but they never did. I had very little knowledge, yet people thought I did because of my hijab. Like I was a living, walking human museum or encyclopedia.  

I started to question myself. Did I feel ready? Do I understand what wearing the hijab means? Can I justify myself to Allah for wearing my hijab though the intention of wearing it is non-existent?

It made my heart hurt so much because I had to face reality. I didn’t have an answer. At first I tried reading and researching more about Islam, but back then there was very little willingness of me to do so. I tried to move on despite feeling unhappy, guilty and confused. When I was 18 I decided to talk to my mother about it. She said she had always been worried that I never made my decision to wear my hijab consciously because I was so young. Together with my mother I began brainstorming for ideas and options. Such as trying to wear my hijab in different styles to see it makes any difference and talking with a few women who had taken their hijab off. When I listened to their stories I felt scared. Clueless of what I should do, standing at a cross roads having no idea which path to take.

Once I decided that I wanted to stop wearing my hijab, I talked with my baba. He was very confused and upset. He always tried to protect us from the Western world, so he was worried that it influenced my choice. I told him it didn’t. Although he didn’t agree with my decision he emphasized that he will always be there for me and love me. That’s all I needed to hear. I knew that baba needed his time to get used to things.

Sometimes I still think that I have to explain to others that I used to wear a hijab. Specifically to sisters who wear it. Because I understand all too well what it’s like to be a visible target of Islamophobic violence. There has become such a huge shift in my daily life that sometimes I feel like the odd one out when I’m with Muslim women (who wear the hijab).

Talking about a huge shift in my daily life. In the beginning especially, I noticed how Muslims and non-Muslims were now treating me differently. Whenever I’d greet a sister ‘Assalaam aleikum’, (peace be upon you) she’d look me up and down disapprovingly and wouldn’t return my greeting. It felt awful, I stopped greeting anyone all at once to give myself some sense of security because I was feeling so vulnerable back then. Instead, non-Muslim (majority white) people started to happily greet me. It was mind boggling. 

Like it was some sort of game, I’d keep track of all these differences. How in the past people wouldn’t sit next to me in public transport even when it was busy, to by passers saying ‘Allahu akbar’ or ‘terrorist’ under their breath when walking past me, getting checked by security a lot faster or accused of stealing, always being refused when applying for a job (in my city, Eindhoven, discrimination on the job market is very high) etc. 

When I have to show my ID, that has a picture of me with my hijab on, people always feel the need to tell me ‘You look prettier without hijab!’. When that happens I get a, what Dutch Iranian artist Saman Amini calls in the play ‘A Seat at The Table’, racial freeze. Cashing in the comment, reacting with a fake smile and getting back to my day. Not allowing myself to feel the hurt or the frustration.

It has definitely been a struggle the first year or two. I had to adjust to how society was treating me, nobody sees my hijab but sometimes I still feel like I wear it. A lot of my life experiences before taking it off were based around my hijab. And as I’m writing, realising it now, hurts. Wearing the hijab since a young age, I was basically robbed of my childhood and sure that may sound dramatic but it’s reality. It impacted my quality of life because I was an easy target for Islamophobic violence both verbal and non-verbal.

I got to see first-hand what it’s like to be treated both with and without hijab by non-Muslim and Muslims. Whether I’m a bad Muslim or a well ‘integrated’ (read assimilated) immigrant. 

We still teach girls to judge other girls. In my time we’d judge those who chose not to wear their hijab (yet) or who wore their hijab the ‘wrong’ way. As I got older I started to realise how toxic this behaviour is. But I find that this way of thinking is still deeply rooted. Because I still have some moments that when I see a sister with a hijab showing hair, my first thought is ‘Oh My GoD sHe Is ShOwInG hEr HaIr!! AYIB!!’ it’s been happening a lot less. But when it does I mentally slap myself in the face and remind myself of how toxic that way of thinking is because it does not contribute to anything positive. The judgement I had towards myself and others has lessened immensely. I’ve become a stronger person and learned so much (I’m still learning!!). All the things I named and more, I had to experience. Before I was so caught up with myself. Trying to survive. Now I able to make room in my heart for others to heal.

I look back to these past four years a lot. Feeling thankful and amazed. Never before did I have such a close relationship with Allah and myself. Honestly, I feel ashamed when I say the following. So may Allah forgive me for my ignorance and wrong doings, may He accept my good deeds, prayers and efforts of learning…

I never prayed, sometimes during Ramadan. Like I said, I forgot what I learned as a kid because of dissociating. When someone tried to teach me about Islam I didn’t have the space to listen, my mind never saved the information. Alhamdulillah, with its ups and downs, the past four years I have now been saving the knowledge I learn about Islam. I’m praying 5 times a day, reading translations of the Quran, going to lectures with an open heart and mind. Soaking up all the information I can get my hands on, eager to learn.

I’m not saying this to brag. But to stress that once again, I had to go through these things to grow through them. I had to experience all of this in order to become the person I am today. A better version of myself. Because with this experience and knowledge I am able to stand even stronger on my feet.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that my experiences I shared above, especially the negative ones have nothing to do with Islam. It’s man-made culture. Please see religion separate from its people.

Also there is unfortunately still way too little awareness of how children mimic our words and (misogynistic) behaviour. Pretty much everything I named in my story I learned from aunties, uncles and the girls around me. So especially to us women, I hope that we can start to truly uplift each other and not tear each other down any longer.

Thank you so much for taking your time to read this. A Dutch version of this blog post will soon follow.

Take care, peace and blessings upon you all! Much love,

Nihâl

[pleasecallmeeds]

Chaperoning

~Ships: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris

~Premise:  When dragged into chaperoning an elementary school dance by their friends, Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak try to make the best of it. But there's something between the two they can't hide, and the other boys are determined to get them together one way or another (and hopefully get some money out if it).

~africa by toto. that’s all you need to know.

read it on ao3!

    There were a million different ways Richie Tozier could have spent his Saturday evening, but this was not how he had imagined it. He sat at a table in a big building that Derry used to have parties. It was an old building, with bathrooms underground and a large stage which was, for now, off limits. He didn’t know why he agreed to chaperone this stupid dance, but his friends had some idea. If you had asked him, Bill Denbrough would have said quite clearly and without doubt, Eddie Kaspbrak signed up to be a chaperone. You can put two and two together. Most of the Losers had put it together already, but alas, Eddie and Richie were still two idiots fumbling around in the dark, completely and utterly clueless. Stan, Bill, and Ben, which were the other 3 volunteers, had a mission to set the two up by the end of the night, and all 3 were determined to make it happen. Stan even had money bet on it.

       Richie, of course, didn’t even see it coming.

       He sat, and waited for someone he didn’t even know he was waiting for. He listened to stupid music which he had never heard before while he waited for him to show up. Him, of course, was Eddie Kaspbrak, who surprisingly showed up fashionably late to the dance. He gave an excuse as soon as he stumbled in, claiming it was because his mother didn’t like all the bodies, all the germs, that were going to fill the room in a matter of minutes. Eddie knew, deep down, that the real reason he was late was because he wanted to look his best for someone. He almost forgot who it was all for until he walked in and saw Richie’s grin. It was for Richie. Of course.

      “Well look who finally decided to show up!” Richie claimed. Stan rolled his eyes.

      “Richie, you’re late to everything," Stan argued.

      “Am not!”

      “Are too!”

      “Well, I’m here,” Eddie said, kind of disappointed that Richie was already arguing with Stan as soon as he arrived. What did he think he was going to get, a big compliment and a kiss on the lips? Richie gave him a once-over, and he couldn’t help but let out a little compliment. He walked up and lightly grabbed the collar of his shirt.

      “Dang, Eds, you clean up nice!”

     “My name is Eddie,” Eddie stated like a broken record. Richie walked up to him and grabbed his cheeks, but Eddie wasn’t surprised. Unlike Richie, he could see Richie’s moves from a mile away.

     “Cute, cute, cute! ”

     “Come on, Rich,” Eddie said, pulling away. Bill and the others just gave each other a look. They were idiots, they all agreed. Completely oblivious. “The kids are about to come in.”

     “We weren’t doing anything,” Richie claimed. “Trust me, they’d know if we were.”

     Eddie was blushing. Stop. Stop that!

     “Welllllllll,” Stan said, not wanting to interrupt, “we are in charge of snacks.”

     “Great!” Eddie said, trying to avoid Richie, “I’ll, uh, be in charge of chips I guess?”

     “Oh,” Bill started, “we also h-have to do b-b-bathroom duty when we see a group of kids going in the b-bathroom.”

     “Why, are they going to do drugs or something?” Ben asked, laughing.

     “If they are, I’ll join them,” Richie joked. Eddie punched his arm. “Ow! I was kidding!” Eddie rolled his eyes. Eddie plopped himself in a seat by Bill, who was still chuckling. “I’ll be in charge of whatever, I don’t care.”

     “Why don’t you, uh, help Eddie with the chips?” Ben contributed, looking over at Stan with a smirk.

     “Nah, chips are lame. Is there any pizza?”

     “I’m in charge of pizza,” Stan said, “I think that I can handle it, but chips, man, chips is definitely a two man job.” Ben stifled a laugh. “Ben, I’m serious, stop--stop laughing, Ben.” Ben tried, but he couldn’t help but laughing. It was so completely obvious what they were doing, but their pathetic attempt to hide it was what got Ben going.

     “See, Eddie’s got it covered.”

     “Okay, Richie,” Bill said, “you can be in charge of g-g-getting the kids to dance.”

     “Now that is a good job, Billiam. See you losers on the dance floor.” Richie turned around and his flannel flew against him as he walked toward the dance floor.

     “Those kids are gonna be so freaked out,” Stan said. “Just imagine that you’re, how old are these kids, ten? Nine? Well, imagine you’re nine years old and Richie Tozier waltzes up to you and tells you to dance with this other kid you barely even know, I mean, that would be traumatic.” The boys were laughing hysterically at this point as they watched Richie do just that, pulling two kids together and dancing weirdly to the tune of really terrible music. “I’d have post traumatic stress disorder from that ordeal.” Stan always did that, he always liked to say all of the words from acronyms. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Those were some of his favorites.

      “I’d just g-go ahead and leave,” Bill stated.

      “Or get some of the bathroom drugs,” Ben guffawed. As they laughed, a kid walked up to them and asked for food. As the Losers started handing out food, Eddie couldn’t help but watch as Richie failed miserably to help the kids get in the spirit; if anything, Richie just freaked them out and made them not want to dance even more. Eddie laughed, and didn’t realize until the third time Bill snapped in his face, saying that the kid wanted a bag of chips.

      Richie wasn’t doing very well with his dancing, either. It was hard to dance on your own, especially if you’re trying to impress 4th and 5th graders. He just kind of bobbed to the music and watched as little kids stood around and made awkward small talk. This was going horribly. Richie looked over at Eddie, and they made eye contact for just a split second before Eddie gave a kid a bag of chips.

      He needed a dance partner, that’s what he needed. He strolled over to Eddie’s station while he took his fingers through his unruly hair. He put his hands on the table.

      “Eds, I need some help out there.”

     “I can’t, Rich, I have two left feet.”

     “Everyone can dance, ” Richie said, his hip swaying to the side. “You’ve just gotta feel the music.” Eddie took a deep breath, but then loud music started playing that caught all of their attention. “Oh, it’s the chicken dance.” He sounded a bit disappointed.

     “Yes! Let’s gooooooooo!” Stan jumped up from his seat and ran to the dance floor. “Guys, this is my jam, come on!”

     “Your jam?” Bill asked, watching as his boyfriend pulled him to the dance floor.

     “Don’t judge me, Bill Denbrough. Shut up and dance.”

     The next thing they knew, Bill, Stan, Richie, and Eddie were all hooked at each other’s elbows, circling around, and doing the chicken dance. It was hilarious not knowing who they were going to end up with next, but it made Richie happiest when he was dancing with Eddie. At first, Eddie looked like he was dreading doing such a stupid dance in front of all the children, but after a while he softened, and it made him laugh when he saw Richie clapping to the music. The children watched and laughed as the 4 of them danced around like idiots, but none of them noticed the staring. They all just laughed and danced like no one was watching. It was like it was just the four of them.

     Until a group of 5th graders walked into the boys bathroom.

     “Uh oh,” Ben said, “Bathroom duty.”

     “I’ll go,” Bill volunteered. “Stan, wanna come with?” Stan nodded.

     “Don’t make out the whole time,” Richie joked.

     Stan scoffed.

     “Of course not, it’s disgusting in there.”

     Bill grabbed Stan’s hand and dragged him to the bathroom. Richie looked over at Eddie.

     “I’m going to go request an actually good song.”

    Richie ran up to the DJ and requested the best song he could think of, the only one that was not only child friendly but one of his favorites. He looked back at Eddie and grinned as he walked back to him.

     “What did you request?”

     “You’ll see. Do you want to dance?”

     Richie motioned toward the dance floor.

     “What did you request?”

     Eddie didn’t want to dance to something ridiculous.

     “Don’t worry, Eds, it’s a good one.”

     Eddie rolled his eyes.

     “Okay, fine.”

     Richie grabbed his hand to pull him onto the dance floor, and Eddie swore his heart skipped a beat. What was this? He always knew he had something deep down for Richie, but now? He wasn’t even sure what this was. Before he knew it, a familiar song started playing throughout the large building, and as soon as Richie heard the first few beats, it was like it was just the two of them dancing.

It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

I bless the rains down in Africa

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

      Was Eddie surprised? No. But it didn’t matter anymore. Richie looked at him in a way he had never had before, and it made the experience so much greater. He felt like he couldn’t hear the bustling of the children around them, and he couldn’t see the small boys chasing each other. He could only hear Africa, he could only see Richie, and the only thing he felt was an electricity, a pull to Richie that he never felt before.

It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do….

      Richie sang the lyrics out loud, but Eddie felt like he was singing it directly to him. Was this some kind of declaration? The force between them kept pulling them closer until Eddie could feel Richie’s ragged breath on his face. The beat of the drums felt like they kept getting louder with every step they took. Ben held his breath behind the table as he watched them...he knew he was definitely going to win this bet. He could already feel the $20 in his pocket! He just watched as the two got closer, and closer, and closer, until--

      “Alright everybody, time for the dance competition!”

      The song was over, and now the two of them just stood awkwardly in front of each other before Eddie split, heading toward the bathroom.

      “Eds, wait!”

      Richie wanted to run after him, but one of the teachers in charge of the dance instructed him to come judge the dance competition. Richie just stood, not focusing on the children whatsoever. He could only think of Eddie. What was going through his mind? Did he feel the same way he did? Did he feel his heart beating out of his chest the way he did? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe that’s why he ran away.  

      Ben knew he had to take immediate action. This was his shot to win the bet once and for all. He had to make sure Richie was the one who initiated their relationship. He knew he might have to take some drastic measures, but the happiness of his friends and the $20 he needed to buy the new New Kids on the Block album was worth it.

      “Uh, Richie?” Richie was still focused on the kids. “Richie!”

      “Huh?” Richie looked over at his friend, who had a weird grin on his face.

      “Uh, bathroom duty.”

      “Oh.”

      Richie stood for a second, then smiled at Ben. “You’re a good man, Hanscom.” Ben smiled as Richie raced toward the bathroom.

      “Eddie?”

      Richie skipped down the stairs to the bathroom, and saw Eddie sitting against the wall with his knees pressed to his chest. “Eds.” Eddie didn’t even look up. He knew who it was.

      “I told you not to call me that.”

      “We both know I’m never going to stop.”

      Richie leaned against the brick wall, crossing his arms and watching as Eddie finally lifted his head to look at him.

      “What are you doing down here, anyway?”

      Richie motioned to the empty room with no children in sight.

      “Bathroom patrol, obviously.”

      Eddie chuckled. “I like it when you laugh.”

      Richie had been flirtatious before, but it wasn’t until now that Eddie realized he was actually being serious. It was like he had finally seen the light in the darkness. “Really, I can’t think of a single thing I don’t like about you, Eds.” Richie was being bold; he didn’t notice his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

      “Richie—”

      “Look, I’m just going to say it before I change my mind.” Richie sighed. “I’ve got the hots for you.” Eddie laughed and rolled his eyes. “I have since the moment I saw you, and I know that’s super, super cheesy—and you’re probably lactose intolerant too—but it’s true and I’m not sorry.” Richie stood with his hands in his pockets as Eddie looked up into his eyes. Eddie stood and grabbed Richie’s trembling hands.

      “Richie,” Eddie started, “you drive me... insane.” Richie felt his head droop. “But I’ve got the hots for you too, you dummy.” Richie’s whole face perked up. He smiled, teeth completely out, and Eddie grabbed his face to pull to his lips. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist as their bodies connected. He knew all about the other guys’ bets, and he felt bad that Ben wasn’t getting his $20, but damn was Eddie hot right now.

      “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” was what interrupted them. They separated as quickly as they had come together, and saw a little kid staring right at them, and two more kids followed.

      “Fuck.”

      “Richie!”

       Richie grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the bathroom.

      “Let’s get out of here!” As they ran, Richie looked over at the guys who sat staring at them as they ran by. “It was him, not me!” The two laughed as they ran out the front doors, not looking back at all the teachers and students who sat in complete silence for a second.

      “Shit.”

      The three boys looked at each other and started laughing; at that point the bet barely mattered. Those two idiots were finally together and they were glad the sexual tension was finally gone. Stan and Ben both plopped $10 into Bill’s hand.

      “Told you Eddie had it in him.”

the TAGLIST: @richietoaster, @reddie-to-fight, @reddietofall, @t0z1er, @geckolover001

[dxullinkz-blog]

                                   Heba Mutou | YGO DM OC

Basics

Name (& pronunciation): Heba (H/Eh/Ba) Mutou. Date of Birth (& age): June 4th, 22. Place of Birth: Domino, Japan. Gender: Male. Species/Racial Origin: Human, Egyptian/Japanese. Social Class/Community Status: Middle Class. Languages: Hieroglyphics, Arabic, Japanese & English. Family/Friends/Pets/Etc: Yugi Mutou (twin), Solomon Mutou (Grandfather). Duel Links ID: 738-665-651

Physical Description

Height: 5” (153cm) Weight: 100 pounds (45kg) Hair: Tri-colored (purple, black, blonde) Eyes: Purple. Limb Dexterity: He's actually fairly decently strong. Detailed Physical Description: Pretty lean in build Heba has stacked on a bit more muscle from walking around Egypt and being in places he shouldn't. Being on the more adventurous side he has pretty decent leg muscle and upper arm strength. Though he is still shorter than the average male (something he detests). Typical Clothing/Equipment: Heba's preferred style of clothing is a black shirt and a pair of form fitting jeans. Though in Egypt he cuts it back to tank tops and cargo pants. If it does happen to get colder he wears a wool cardigan. Shoe wise will always be some form of boot.

Personality/Attributes 

Personality: Heba is a very short tempered person with the mouth of a sailor. Not a word leaves his tongue that isn't some sort of insult or swear word. He can flip on the switch of a dime, go from having a nice polite conversation to a fireball of anger at something that was said. He doesn't have a lick of patience and only typically tolerates people rather than try to form close bonds. That isn't to say he isn't capable of doing that, quite the opposite. Heba makes a much better ally than he does enemy, fiery loyal to the end and would give his life in a second if he thought it would protect someone that he cared about. Though he isn't an overly affectionate person he makes up for that in being bluntly honest and protective of friends and family. He'll never say something he doesn't mean and words of affection, when given out, are rare and few in between. Skills/Talents: Heba can hunt with a bow and arrow, figure out rather difficult puzzles easily and can read and translate Hieroglyphics. Favourites/Likes: Tea, studying and learning new things,  Black Luster Soldier. Most Hated/Dislikes: Anything that requires patience, disgracing ancient tombs, people who he believes has the brain cells of a fish. Goals/Ambitions: His current goal in life is a little difficult to figure out. He's changed his college major a few times bouncing between what he wants to do. So far all he can figure out is that he wants to attend college, just isn't quite sure for what. Strengths: Art (fairly good at sketching), archery, history, deciphering old books, physical exertion. Weaknesses: Math, making choices (good choices), temper, doctors/hospitals/medical professionals, slight drug addiction. Fears: Medical Professionals, relationships (romantic or platonic), his grandmother, actually being diagnosed as crazy. Hobbies/Interests: Heba likes arts and crafts but specifically sketching, Ancient Egypt and Egypt's history, Duel Links. Regular Routine: He gets up in the morning, logs into Duel Links to clean out the standard duelists and keys while having a cup of tea and toast. After he heads off to school for his general education (as he hasn't decided his major) for a few hours of class. About two his lectures will end and he'll swing by the museum for a little piece and quiet. Around four he'll end up back and home for another hour of Duel Links until he makes dinner. Homework is stuffed in between eating, random google searches for entertainment and then after the dishes he'll end up logging back into Duel Links until it's time for bed. Between all of this his alarm on his phone will go off every six hours to take his medication. Philosophy of Life: Fuck it. Attitude Toward Death: At one point he craved it now he simply acknowledges it'll come eventually. Religion/Beliefs: None. Fetishes/Strange Behaviors: If his medication runs off and he doesn't take it he'll end up talking a bit to himself or something else that only he can see. He'll also switch languages a lot more frequently and stare off into space. Most Instructive/Painful/Memorable Experience: Growing up with his grandmother was an entire painful experience. The woman was only ever verbally abusive but the amount of doctors she dragged him to left a horrible impact. Sexual Preference/Experience/Values: Bisexual/had sex a few time. Education/Special Training: High School Diploma, Archery training (hunting wise), in college. Place/Type of Residence: Apartment in Japan near his college. Occupation: None. Place of Work: - Work-related Skills: - Past Occupations: Librarian after school in Egypt.

Biography:

Heba was born to the Mutou family in Domino Japan. He had one twin brother that he never got to know. As far as he is aware he was raised in the house until he was one before a custody battle was fought between his grandmother (their fathers mother) and Heba's own. The Game Shop at that point didn't bring in much money and their mother was a bit flaky in staying home. An old man raising two kids on such a small salary, according to Child Protective Services, wasn't the best home situation for what was going on. As a result they decided the best case scenario for the children was to split them. Yugi would stay in Japan with Solomon and Heba would be raised by the grandmother Amara in Egypt.

Perhaps, in some way, she did have the best interest of the children at heart but that didn't in any means make her an over caring woman. She was hard in the way she raised him, showed affection only when need be and lectured him constantly on the proper way he should be. Any child would look at her like she was the devil drilling him like a soldier but it only ever got worse when he started to have his little slips.

He was eight the first time it happened, Heba could barely even remember it now, but he started to hear this voice. It sounded amazingly like his own and yet different at the same time, the language was certainly one he wasn't familiar with though the similarity to Arabic was undeniable. From what he thought he had sat there for a while, just listening to it, but when he blinked his way back into reality he found himself in a completely different room with his grandmother staring at him like he was some sort of monster.

One event out of several more that happened.

Sometimes he'd find himself dreaming, thinking a little two hard on what he saw in his head. He'd lose himself in whatever it was and when he'd finally come back around he'd found he'd done something he probably shouldn't have. His grandmother said he'd scream sometimes, shout words that didn't make sense, even break things and that last one would always end him in incredible trouble—Amara either making him work to pay for it or forbidding him from leaving his room for anything.

It was hard to imagine what other people saw, or even to believe them, since it was apparently his own body doing it. He couldn't deny the lapses in memory, the odd little 'visions' and 'voices' he heard. Doing it in public at school apparently seemed to be the breaking point for it all though. At that point he had turned ten, scared an entire room of elementary students and was sent home with a clear order to find some sort of help for himself.

The amount of doctors between ten and sixteen and they finally put him on an experimental drug was intense... enough to even drive a person insane which ended up being the 'diagnoses' they came up with.

The first few doctors put him up anti-psychotics, another drugged him with psychosis pills, there was some liquid things thrown in there that made his skin feel like it was boiling from underneath. Being poked, prodded and drugged so many times lead to a fear so intense that his grandmother needed to have someone sedate him before they could do anything. He was sure it was mostly because he had stabbed a nurse with her own needle when she tried to inject something into him.

Heba, at sixteen, ended up in a medical ward where they started him on this experimental drug that didn't even have a name. His bottle was a series of letters and numbers that made no sense to him but whatever it was they drugged him with seemed to work. For an entire year he didn't have a lapse in memory, didn't have an outburst (aside from his usual ones) and didn't hear or see things.

They declared him cured and released him.

The pill bottle's recommended dosage was one every six hours but it also said to take as needed. As he focused on finishing school online he slowly started to find he was either developing a tolerance toward it or whatever was wrong with him was getting worse. So he slowly started taking more, and more, until it was one almost every three hours.

He found if he took them in close proximity he got a bit woozy and light headed so he tried to make it low. He wasn't addicted to them, he just didn't want Black Luster Soldier talking to him from the corner of the room again.

Never once did he tell his grandmother any of this though and when he turned eighteen he decided to head 'home' or what the home on his birth certificate said he was. Heba had long since learned of Yugi's existence, his grandmothers favorite insult was “maybe I should have left you with Solomon”, it didn't take a genius to look them up.

Yugi was impressive from what he noticed, a Duel Masters god according to the internet, and most of all sane. That last part was the most interesting one for him, apparently between twins sanity wasn't biological. Though he was curious he never reached out, never made a point to contact, he figured if Yugi wanted to know about him all he had to do was look at his own birth certificate and see the little check that wasn't single.

That didn't stop him from attending a college in Japan, from moving to Domino. Though he told himself he didn't care that was apparently far from the truth. But he wouldn't approach because that made a burden.

His college degree between eighteen and twenty-two changed from Teaching to Archaeologist to Egyptian Historian, to art until he finally just settled on getting a general education until he could decide. His grandmother had money, she didn't care so long as he took his meds and was a good boy.

[henantier]

every question for Valiane because I love her

awww you’re the sweetest—–Personal

1)      Age?

i picture her at a lot of different ages. she was born in 4e 198.

2)      Gender?

woman

3)      Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

tragically straight

4)      Height?

about 6'3"? kinda short for an altmer

5)      Race?

altmer

6)      What do they look like? (i.e, hair color, eye color, etc).

short, naturally brown hair (she starts bleaching it to a very very light blonde when she’s about 25), green eyes, pretty thin? no physical endurance. her feet are a 10 and her bra size is c

7)      Any disabilities?

she deals with chronic vertigo. that’s why she stopped being a kestrel.

8)      Is there a meaning to their name?

she was named after her aunt (her aunt’s name was valenya, they changed it a bit). it’s not a really common altmeri name but people have heard of it.

9)      What makes them, them? 

her determination and drive. she will stop at nothing to achieve her long-term goals. she’s the kind of person who makes a big deal out of the whole “never quitting” ideals and pushes it on others. the things she’s working for, however, aren’t really structurally sound. she gets caught up in little unimportant details and tries to get those put into place, without focusing on the larger plan.

10)   What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives?

when she was little, she always wanted to make it big. she wanted the world to know her for what she did, and be celebrated triumphantly. she didn’t quite achieve that anytime in her life. after she got involved with the thalmor, she still wanted to make it big, but through them. now, at around 53 years old, she’s abandoned these fantasies and just wants to live a satisfying and stable life.

Family

11)   Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)?her father was executed when she was five. her mother subsequently abandoned her, and that was the last she saw of either of them. she never expected her mother to do that to her, even in hindsight.

12)   Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings?

she has a lot of siblings. a few stayed with their mother, and the only other sibling that left at the same time as her. he was two, and was sent to lillandril to another orphanage.

valiane’s family is huge for altmer. they usually have two children, at most, but valiane’s is big. her mother was accused of sleeping with other men while her husband was away on mercenary work. this rumor was true, and valiane later realized that four of her siblings were half-siblings.

the person who felt most like a sibling to her was laryaril, a girl who came to the orphanage at fourteen and taught vali alteration and how to read/write. they had such a big/little sister relationship (that ended forty years later with valiane stabbing her in the stomach and telling her to run).

13)   Extended family? Do they see them often?

she doesn’t know any of her extended family.

14)   Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?)

she’s lived in a lot of different places. the orphanage wasn’t safe, and she didn’t like it. the little room off nucarion’s study was probably the coziest place she lived. all that was in it was a twin bed and a small dresser, but she liked it. the actual thalmor dorms weren’t great, but they were semi-safe, in endalle’s wing (basically everyone under her tutelage), valenwood, and alinor.

in daggerfall, she had her own suite in the embassy. she’d never had that much space for herself before, and she felt quite out of place there. she eventually moved in with a partner there, and ended up missing the solitude of having a suite to herself.

in cyrodill, she lives in a one-bedroom apartment by herself. she generally prefers living alone, and finds it safest.

15)   Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class?first part answered above

as for wealth, she came from having half a septim to her name in childhood, to having much more money than she knows what to do with.

she donates a lot of money that she makes to an orphanage in the imperial city, in hopes that the kids there will fare better than she did. she wishes that she could take the altmer kids into the thalmor, to replicate her experience, but she’s a bit afraid of the “"traditional ritual”“ that will end in one of their deaths.

16)   Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great?

not really, she’s not in contact with her family. her father wanted her to become a mercenary like him, teaching her how to use a dagger, but that didn’t happen and vali didn’t want it to.

17)   Do they have pets?

not in cyrodiil. she had a horse in daggerfall but she didn’t take him with her.

18)   Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family?

no one lol. she really didn’t look up to anyone anytime in her life. she’s not capable of it, for the most part. she has too big of an ego.

19)   This there anything special about their family?

maybe that it’s huge. again, answered above.

20)   Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

definitely. she never got to have a normal family life, and probably never will. she wishes she knew how to raise a family and have a healthy married relationship, and that’s why she’s afraid to do it herself. it’s hard to do something like that without an example, and she doesn’t have a point of reference.

Friends

21)   Best Friend(s)?

perhaps her fellow summerset shadows? they were the people she was the closest to. they all genuinely cared about her and wanted to see her happy.

22)   Who was their first friend?

she was friends with some of the other kids from firsthold. they got into mischief a lot. she didn’t stay in contact with them once she left.

23)   What is their friend group like?

the only two things that could be considered friend groups that she’s been in are the summerset shadows and the kestrels.

the shadows never took anything seriously. it was a group of around 25 at this point, so all of them would stay over at someone’s house or an unfortunate inn, and drink/chat/maybe have some sexytimes. it was simple fun, and looking back on it, valiane feels ashamed of liking her time there.

the kestrels are a bit more refined. they’re the kind of people who’d have a fancy den and sit back, talking about philosophical questions. that’s valiane’s kind of thing. she felt comfortable with them and able to open up.

24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?

kind of. in hindsight, she doesn’t remember the shadows fondly.

25)   Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings?

well, laryaril. they grew up together, even though they were at different points in their lives. she hasn’t met anyone since that has fit this definition.

26)   Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

she won a duel with laryaril in daggerfall, and told her to get lost afterwards. it hurts her a lot to know she did that, but it felt necessary.

she also singlehandedly killed many of her fellow shadows. she regrets this one the most, especially since she knows it wasn’t necessary in the end.

she believes that friendship is temporary and fleeting, and it can end anytime it needs to. they’ve served their purpose, and now they have no reason to be in her life.

27)   Do they have a crush on any of their friends?

she really doesn’t develop crushes easily? maybe a short feeling of lust, but never a crush.

28)   Do they share classes with good friends?

she didn’t make friends with either endalle or nucarion’s other students. she made friends at prep school (more later !!) but the few other people learning beside her didn’t hold much significance to her.

29)   Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on?

she shoves a lot of her problems on her partner at the time. she’s never had anyone she can healthily vent or cry to, so she holds it in, and it comes out at bad times.

30)   What would this person do without their friends in their lives?

probably the exact same thing as she always has. either find new ones or live in comfortable solitude.

School

31)   What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come?

she’s not currently in school.

she went to the equivalent of public school in firsthold from ages 15-18 (along with thalmor and shadows stuff). it was a stress-inducing place. she wasn’t great at academic subjects. sure, she could read, write, do some basic math, definitely good at magic, but since she wasn’t in the equivalents of elementary or middle school, she was far behind in everything.

32)   Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one?

at school, she did. in the classes she got decent enough grades in (namely magic and literature) she even made friends with her teachers. that’s Frowned Upon and she knew it.

she loved nucarion and hated endalle.

33)   Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot?

she was dangerously obedient. even if she wasn’t capable enough academically, she could match the teacher’s model exactly. since most thalmor kids from richer families went to the prep schools, the public school kids and teachers weren’t used to someone who followed rules so strictly like that.

34)   Are/Where they a good student grade wise?

she was a solid C in everything but magic and tamrielic literature, in which she got an A and B+, respectively. she could have gotten better grades, but she overloaded herself so she could graduate in three years, not five.

35)   Do/Did they need extra help?

she never needed extra help per se, but it was suggested for her many times.

36)   What is/was their school like?

i’ll go into what altmeri public school is like later, but i’m going to go with @aldmerii​‘s suggestion that there are a few classes each day, and the rest of the time is spent studying.

37)   Do/Did they have bullies in school?

in a way. she wasn’t bullied for any particular reason, but she definitely got her share of name-calling and shoves. nothing that serious.

38)   Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

sometimes. she never...started any fights...so she didn’t get into trouble from them...but she wouldn’t back down on someone else’s threat. she did seriously injure a few people she fought, since she usually won.

39)   Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school?

she would never admit it now, but she took notes on most of her classmates. it was calming for her, and helped ease the stress. she also used this (frankly, creepy) method to feel like she knew her peers, which she didn’t feel as if she could do otherwise.

40)   How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back?

in public school? she got her diploma. she didn’t study any further, and didn’t feel the need to.

the thalmor’s thing is that they’re always studying. everyone has, or is, a mentor.

Other

41)   Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced?

she’s dated many people over the years. it’s been fun. it’s been interesting to get to know people so deeply. but it’s never been satisfying at all for her. if an opportunity came up, she would take it, but she’s not in a relationship for most of her cyrodiil years, and is fine keeping it that way.

42)   What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret?

she organizes things a lot. she buys a lot of compartments for everything, and lays them out for the Aesthetic of it. to her, it’s not worth keeping a secret, since it’s obvious to anyone who enters her house.

43)   If they could have one thing in life, what would it be?

she wants control over her life more than anything. this means that she’d be able to see what comes next and use it for her benefit. she doesn’t mean this in a selfish way, she just wants to feel as if she’s risen out of her metaphorical binds.

44)   Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one?

she’s a thalmor agent. she doesn’t have any job on the side. she doesn’t need the money, since the dominion pays her a lot, and she doesn’t need the activity, since she’s busy enough.

45)   Do they use social media?

if it existed in her time, she’d probably use instagram and pinterest. she would have ~2000 followers on instagram and not very many on pinterest.

46)   Have they ever been in the hospital?

she’s been to healers to try to help her vertigo. other than that, she’s healed herself when she’s gotten injuries. she doesn’t want to put her life in another’s hands.

47)   Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see?

i mean, the supernatural exists in tes. she knows it does. she’s a realistic thinker, so she tries to avoid believing in things she knows couldn’t possibly exist.

48)   What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

stab people she represses her feelings a lot. she was taught, both intentionally and subconsciously, not to think about anger. that may have led to some of her shenanigans in childhood. as an adult, she takes them out by exercising or journaling, but that doesn’t completely take them away. it just takes the edge off and keeps her from doing anything drastic.

one thing of note is she never takes things out on inanimate objects. she has this small, lingering feeling not to harm objects. she feels less inclination to preserve people than objects.

49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?

she knows she’s morally grey. she knows trying to be a good person won’t get her anywhere, and she just tries to embrace both the good and bad parts of her.

50)   Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc)

the vertigo (more intense in her than me though), and the general outlook on emotional stuff. nothing else, we’re not similar in most ways.

[clevelandstate]

Celebrating Languages

This week people around the U.S. celebrated National Foreign Language Week – an annual event created to recognize what it means to study a foreign language and the roles that languages have in our lives.

With so many languages to study at CSU, we asked three different students studying three different languages – Spanish, French and Arabic – to share a little bit about their language journey.  

CSU: Tell us a little bit about yourself. NN: My name is Nashline, and I am a junior double majoring in Spanish and Teaching Education. I desire to become a Spanish educator for elementary/middle school education. Hopefully, and with the help of God, I will graduate in Spring 2022.

CSU: How did you come to study Spanish? NN: I am a native Spanish speaker and I love everything about my language. I am originally from Puerto Rico. The reason I got into studying Spanish is that I wanted to learn more about the language’s history and different dialects. I also think that being able to teach kids Spanish in the future will be an amazing journey. I believe that learning a second language deepens your connections with other cultures. Learning a second language exposes you to see the world in many different aspects, which to me is very powerful.

CSU: Does studying Spanish change the way you think about the world around you? Has it changed your perspective? NN: Definitely, even though I am a native speaker. Knowing many things about my own culture and language is one thing but learning more about it is different. While studying Spanish, I have been able to understand my culture better and gain knowledge about all the elements that created and changed our language. It helped me acknowledge the importance of valuing different dialects. Studying Spanish allowed me to make a connection with those who speak the same language and share experiences and different perspectives, which is important.

CSU: A lot of people find studying foreign languages to be too difficult, and they often give up. Do you have any tricks to help with that? NN: Although learning a foreign language is an option or desire that most people have, it is something that you have to be passionate about. If someone feels like giving up, they should start by remembering what got them into studying it in the first place. If they find a passion for the language among their reasons, they should continue until they make it.

CSU: What’s something interesting about Spanish that most people don’t know? NN: One thing that not everyone knows about Spanish is that the word itself has different names. The word “Spanish” in Spanish usually translates to “español,” but the only countries that call it that are the ones in Central America. Now, the countries in South America and Spain, except Colombia, call it “Castellano,” which means the same as “español,” or “Spanish.”

We asked Nashline to send us a clip of herself saying her favorite thing en español.  Check it Below!

                          *  *  *    ************************************    *  *  *

CSU: How did you come to study French? RJ: My mother studied French and because I was exposed to this idea at an early age, I just always knew I would study French. I didn’t necessarily have a firm plan to pursue a degree in French when I was younger, but by the time I was finishing high school, I knew I loved the language enough that I wanted to make it a major part of my studies. In fact, it became so important to me that I would not have chosen to attend Cleveland State had I not had the option to major in French!

CSU: Does studying French change the way you think about the world around you? Has it changed your perspective? RJ: I like this question. One thing I appreciate about knowing another language is that I can read the same text (primarily in a literature context) in both, and it gives me new insights. The actual process of learning the language has changed my perspective by opening a practical path to be a learner in every situation. To learn a new language and attempt to use it is like becoming a child again, but I think this is very good for our “adult” selves. It’s humbling to face a return to self-expression in highly simplistic terms.

CSU: A lot of people find studying foreign languages to be too difficult, and they often give up. Do you have any tricks to help with that? RJ: When I first started learning French, I imagined it as a disembodied entity, a tool I wished to learn to handle well. However, the further I got into language study, the more I realized just how much culture is intertwined with language. It’s possible to learn direct translations in a new language without actually learning how to communicate with speakers of that tongue. The way things are said, the order of words, the choice and availability of alternative vocabulary, are all reflections of a manner of thinking.

French is spoken in many countries around the world, and so it is impossible to say that you can understand the cultures of every francophone country by learning French. For the moment though, since I’m learning French in France, I’m re-orienting my own patterns of reasoning to understand those of native French. Later, I hope to do the same for French speakers in an African country.

All this is meant to describe the way that language-learning allows you to enter into the experience of someone from a different part of the world. In order to be motivated to learn to communicate in a new way, someone new to language-learning would need to acquire an interest in a particular culture first. My best “tip” would be exposure to the culture before any serious language learning even begins. This could be through a real, lived experience, through contact with people from the culture, or through online resources – even listening to music in the target language!

CSU: What’s something interesting about French that most people don’t know? RJ: In line with what I already said about language reflecting culture, it’s remarkable that the French language has a wider variety of verbs, nouns, and adjectives surrounding the process of preparing and enjoying food than does English. This makes sense given the importance of meals in French culture.

Because Rachel’s currently studying abroad in France, we asked her a couple of bonus questions on her experiences there.

CSU: How did you end up studying abroad? RJ: Ever since I started at CSU four years ago, I knew I wanted to study abroad for a semester. I hope to live overseas one day, so this experience was on the top of my list for my time at university. My plans were quite jumbled by the pandemic (as were everyone’s of course) but things worked out just right for me to still come to France for the current spring semester. It was a lot of work and honestly some very stressful weeks (*months*) to organize, but now that I’m here, it was worth it all! I never want to leave.

CSU: How does studying abroad change the way you learn French? RJ: When I arrived, I had the capacity in spoken French to make known what I wanted to say (most of the time), but it was very halting. Aside from facility with the language, however, I feel I’m learning a little more each day to speak in the WAY a French person speaks, not just in the French language. I would describe this as a shift from translation-speaking to natural-speaking. Also, now that I can read much more easily for pleasure in French, books and articles in French make up an even larger part of my language study than they did before. (The fact that there aren’t libraries of books in English available to me at the moment might also have something to do with this…) Studying abroad also makes me even more passionate about the language, because now there is a connection in my mind between the language itself and the people I know personally who speak it.

Check out Rachel’s favorite French phrase en français below!

                          *  *  *    ************************************    *  *  *

CSU: Tell us a little bit about yourself.

AD: I am a part of the CSUteach program, meaning I am receiving my BA in English and my minor in Education, which will certify me to teach grades 7-12. I am also receiving my minor in Arabic language and culture. In the summer, I will start a 500 level course for CSU’s program in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) and I hope to continue into the M.Ed program after my graduation in 2022.

CSU: How did you come to study Arabic? AD: Ever since high school, I have loved learning languages. I started off studying Mandarin Chinese for 4 years. I already had prior knowledge of Arabic before formal study at CSU. Also, as a future ESL teacher, I hope to immerse myself in various languages so I can study, observe, and undergo the process of second-language learning pedagogy in order to best serve my future students.

CSU: Does studying Arabic change the way you think about the world around you? Has it changed your perspective? AD: Yes, learning any language has a significant impact on how one is able to view the world. Many doors open in regard to culture, connections, friendships, and work, among other opportunities. Arabic is a critical language that I suggest for those hoping to tap into a rich culture and connect with many kind people around the world.

CSU: A lot of people find studying foreign languages to be too difficult, and they often give up. Do you have any tricks to help with that? AD: Fortunately, I have a natural ability to pick up languages very easily. I am the joke among people I know because I have random phrases within my head that I have picked up from people I have met who speak different languages.

I think that second-language learning in the American education system is viewed as a requirement rather than a gift. If we look at other countries, many people speak two languages with ease. I think that if someone wishes to learn a language, they mustn't focus on the difficulties they face, but focus on their ability to learn at their own pace in order to grow their strengths. Learning a language comes easier for some, but respect and perseverance is something that we all have inside of us.

CSU: What’s something interesting about Arabic that most people don’t know? AD: If someone is unfamiliar with Arab and Middle Eastern culture, they may assume that Arabic is reserved for those following a specific religion. Arabic is a language spoken within 25 countries and each speaker is from a diverse ethnic, religious, and cultural background! Arabic is not reserved for one religion and not all speakers of Arabic are Arab. There are also many spoken dialects of Arabic but at Cleveland State we learn Modern Standard Arabic which is mutually intelligible by all speakers of Arabic no matter their national or cultural origin.

We asked Alyssa to send us a clip of herself saying her favorite Arabic phrase. Check it out below! Assalamu Alaikum (السلام عليكم)!

[greatlove-keepsyouguessing]

Day 3: School

As I said at the beginning of my family post, I had a painfully average upbringing and my educational experience was no exception to this. I went through Kindergarten to Grade 3 in one elementary school and then my parents made the wise decision to move us to the other side of town which was just generally a better neighborhood. In my first school, I had lots of friends and I was sort of the “rich-kid” in an area of otherwise less fortunate families, but in retrospect my family was maybe just the least-poor. Everyone wanted to come to my birthday parties, but I don’t think it was so much because I had the hippest Northern Getaway outfits and killer butterfly clips. It probably had more to do with the fact that my mom liked to throw these pretty elaborate birthday parties. My birthday is in December so she had to get creative, and oh boy, did she ever rise to that challenge. One year I had pony rides around our back yard. Yes, I got a pony for my birthday (but not really because he was just rented). Another year I got a pool party at the local community center where the cake melted in the party room and a kid almost drowned. That year was maybe not so great for my awesome party throwing rep. I had a Mad Science party, and if you aren’t familiar with that a person basically comes to your house and teaches you how to make goop and cotton candy and I don’t really know what that has to do with science but it set off the smoke detectors so it was very exciting. I also got a Harry Potter movie theatre party where my parents tried to be shining examples of law-abiding citizens by sneaking us into a double feature but chickened out. By the time I was a pre-teen the elaborate birthday party fund ran dry and I was allowed one friend over for a sleepover with cake and all the snacks we could dream of, but of course I was “too-cool” for those kiddie parties now anyways.

Once I switched schools things got a little more difficult for me. The curriculum was further ahead; I remember I was given a fractions quiz on the first day of school when I hadn’t even seen fractions before that. I also thought it would be a great idea to overhaul my “look” when I started at my new school so for some reason I faked an eye exam so I could get glasses and my mother let me cut my hair short and put two purple streaks in it. My new classmates were ACTUAL rich kids too (no joke, the daughter of the man who co-founded RIM/Blackberry was in my class) and I was now the poorest kid in the class. They turned their noses up at my Northern Getaway outfits and even when I had finally begged my mom to get me the cool expensive Gap sweater that everyone had these kids had already moved on to Campus Crew, and then after that it was all about American Eagle, Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch. From that point forward, I always felt one step behind everyone. I was the new nerdy girl who wasn’t good at math, had an embarrassingly obvious crush on the most popular boy in the class, and who wore Britney Spears concert t-shirts to school (she was my first concert and it was right in between her Oops I Did It Again and Slave 4 U phases, and my mother was completely appalled that she had bought me those tickets for Christmas and exposed her daughter to such sluttery.) I was constantly made fun of and it was such an unfamiliar feeling to me to not have many friends. Of course, I made some at some point but I still felt out of place, like I didn’t belong and that feeling didn’t go away until I entered middle school.

I was reunited with the friends who I had been separated from when I changed elementary schools, and I now felt like I should have twice the amount the friends. It was a whole new world but with all the fresh teenage hormones rolling in and the fight to find your place in the cliques, kids weren’t as kind and welcoming as I thought they’d be. I still struggled with identity and bullying and mean girls and having strict parents when other kids seemed to be able to do whatever they wanted. Grade eight was actually straight out of mean girls. There were three girls who had been friends since they were little and they seemed SO cool to me. They were popular with the boys (for reasons I would learn much later on, but that my pure naïve little mind couldn’t wrap itself around) and it seemed like they were important and they knew secrets and people wanted to be their friends. I HAD to know what that was like and somehow for some reason unbeknownst to me they let me in. It quickly went down-hill and turned into a nightmare of a year that opened my eyes to just how innocent I was, and no matter how much I wanted to seem cool I just wasn’t ready to do the things they deemed cool. Thankfully I had the support of two loving parents and actually a couple incredible teachers who told me that they knew I was better than that situation and that I could potentially ruin my future if I continued down that path. I won’t get into the gritty details but over the course of the year my parents dealt with the family drama of one of the girls which involved the police and child protective services. Suffice it to say, my parents were very happy that those girls wouldn’t end up going to the same high school as I was due to our difference in districts. We went to camp for a week at the end of grade 8 to celebrate the end of middle school and the beginning of high school, and because of all the drama that had happened that year I was left without a group of friends to book a cabin with, so I was placed in what we jokingly (but not that jokingly) called the “reject-cabin”. Let me tell you, finding myself in that cabin was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. That week I reconnected with Amy who I had been friends with at my new elementary school for a hot minute. We became inseparable, and that was also where I connected with Adrienne for the first time (you’ll remember her from my last post about my friends). Making these friends at seemingly the final seconds of middle school made starting high school so much easier than I thought it would be, and I’m grateful that everything that happened that year put me in that perfect situation to meet friends who I would have for the rest of my life.

I remember high school quite fondly actually, which I feel I have to thank my extensive list of extra-curricular activities for. I went in now calling Amy and Adrienne two of my best friends, and they introduced me to their extended friends and just like that, I had a whole group of awesome people to go through the trials and tribulations of grade 9 with. Of course, I went through different phases where I would meet new people and call new girls my best friend every year and immerse myself in different groups of people to try to find my perfect place, but Amy and Adrienne were always a constant. Katrina came into the picture about half way through high school – once I stopped hating her for seemingly having everything I wanted but couldn’t achieve. My studies weren’t something I stressed about anymore. In middle school we all sort of got back on a level playing field and I found my sea legs again and went back to being my perfection seeking straight-A self, so I focused more on being as involved as I could and striving for popularity. I was involved in 4 different choirs at one point and I was also cast in a musical, 2 plays, was a member of the student council, radio crew and even tried to run for co-president which was mildly mortifying since I was the youngest and least experience candidate and was basically laughed off the stage. I participated in every charity event the school hosted, went to every dance, and at my school that was cool thing to do. You know in 22 Jump Street when Channing Tatum in all confused because the cool kids are super involved in school and study hard to get into a good college… that’s what my high school felt like. We had cliques like every other school but there wasn’t a lot of drama. Cliques really kept to themselves and stuck to what they were good at, and didn’t involve themselves in other clique’s drama. Looking back on it now, I do remember being bullied pretty severely when anonymous cyber bullying first became a thing and that was really difficult; something that actually still affects me to this day, but is part of what makes me who I am. I fought with my friends and even thought I lost them at one point when I became enthralled in my first love and all of the new experiences that come with that. You’re figuring out who you are, who you want to be and the path you should take in life and it’s not as fun of a time when you’re in it, but I’m happy that I can look back on it now and remember all of the amazing memories and friends I made through it, and realize that the good really did outweigh the bad in the end. I know that I’m extremely lucky to have had the high school experience that I did because even my sister who went to the same high school right after I did wasn’t as fortunate.

Well that’s not all for school because I did spend four years in university and a year in college but that will be for my next post where I will talk about the special friends I made there and my first crack at sort-of adulting.

Until next time!

[asksytau]

Ally Interview! (Full Interview) (Ally on ANM, Childhood, Instruments, and TWD)

Interview with @officialcharacterbios (thank you!!) --- Jess - J Ally - A --- J- Hello! A- Hi! How's it going? J- Its going good! It's a pleasure to interview you! Thanks for doing this! A- The pleasure's all mine! J- So in this part we'll cover a few ANM related questions if that's alright? A- Definitely! Go ahead J- So when did you meet Ladaysha and how? A- Its probably been like 2 years since we met, possibly nearer to 3. I don't really remember how we met so much as we just worked very well together from the get go. J- And how and when did you meet Wesli? A- A little under two years ago I think. She actually invited me to her birthday part sleepover thing and I had never gone to a sleepover before and my parents were super protective so I didn't think they'd let me go and they did! J- How did the sleepovergo then? A- it went well! We did lots of stuff but I think the most memorable part was when Wesli and I stayed up till the early morning hours having deep conversations once the others fell asleep and everything just went from there. J- When did you ask her to join the band? A- The end of last school year. I'd known her for around 9 months and I was super awkward about asking her cause I thought she'd turn me down for sure but she was super excited about joining! She had heard me previously talk about SVN and wanted to join since but thought I wouldnt want her to. J- Slight change of topic but, do you ever just think back to the first days of SVN and realize how far youve come? A- All the time, yeah. And I'm grateful to be where I am now and not there anymore cause I'm so much happier now. J- Are you expecting any new additions ever to the band or is it going to always be the same set up and group? A- Its funny you ask that! We'll actually know in a few days whether or not the band is going to be 4 instead of 3. Don't assume anything but I'm very interested in seeing how it plays out J- I am too! Is a name too much to ask? A- No names yet, we'll save that for if they say yes! J- Fair enough! If they join what stage instruments would you all play? A- Wesli is sticking to drums. She's getting lessons and plenty of practice and all. Ladaysha will be on guitar or possibly bass? A matter of whichever is easier to learn seeing as she doesn't necessarily play an instrument. I'll be on guitar and do some harmonica and possibly keyboard work. If they join they would take over for the keyboard parts but I'd have to teach them keyboard. J- Arent you teaching Ladaysha guitar as well? A- Yes! It's a difficult instrument though. J- I imagine so. Are you planning any releases at the moment? A- Yes! Expect one around may 23rd or so and a few over summer that I think we'll compile at the end into an album. J- And I expect you can't tell us the song for the 23rd? A- No, sorry. It's definitely not going to change but we'll hype it closer to the release. J- Fair enough. Now, if it's alright, we're going to talk a little more personal. A- yeah, sounds good. J- Just a reminder that you can opt out of answering any of these, they're just to get to know you better as an audience A- Yeah of course. I'm not one to answer a question I don't want to. J- So I just saw the new TWDG release, do you follow that? A- Definitely! I've followed all TWD things for about three or four years now. A great release yeah? J- Oh yeah. So I've been trying to figure out whether you're more of a Javi or a Clementine and I can't decide. A- Probably cause I'm a little bit of both I think. I mean I'm no famous baseball player but I played a bit. J- Not necessarily what I was going for but I can see that too. A- Yeah, no I know. I think I am both though. I think I'm more inclined to be alone and rebellious as Clem is but I like to think I have morals like Javi and I'm really apt to gloat subconsciously too. J- I think the way he responds to fights reminds me a lot of you for some reason as well. A- Thats interesting. I like to think I'm as righteous in a fight but I'm probably not. I think that it's more fight worthy for him but I mean, I've been there and I feel we think rather similarly. J- So how would you describe your childhood? Is that the time frame you were more susceptible to fights? A- My childhood was the normal one I think. My sister and I were and are still almost always fighting which was the brunt of said experiences but I'd rather not go further than that with it. J- Okay, change of topic then; where do you see yourself in ten years? A- Im not sure really. The dream is music, the reality is probably more along the lines of pilot/traveling of some sort. J- Not both? A- Perhaps. J- So how did you come to wanting to be a pilot? A- When I was much younger, like 4th or 5th grade, my parents got a 1/2 off thing to let me and my sister go to flight school and it hadnt interested me before then really but once I started I poured my heart into it honestly. J- And your sister? A- She never went for a second lesson which was her own decision and all. It was similar with me and her and guitar. She's just got to find her thing still. J- Why did you choose guitar? A- Well, originally because there was this kid at my elementary school that brought his guitar in to play Christmas songs and he was really bragging about it so I wanted to one up him but I didn't take a lesson till the following year for much different reasons. J- Which were? A- Well I was at a new school for just the year and my teacher taught me so much about life and the world and he inspired me to just go try something new and guitar just lined up with it perfectly. J- And when/how did you start piano and harmonica? A- Harmonica is a good story. I saw this kid who had made a very interesting guitar that wasn't quite a guitar, I can't remember the name but it was very odd and interesting, and I ran up to my dad and asked him to name an obscure instrument and he said harmonica. J- And it just worked out? A- Yeah. I bought one that weekend and played it up and down the streets and I knew I was going to stick to it when this guy walked up to me while I was playing and told me that his brother played and had just passed away the week prior and I just felt like I needed to keep going with it. J- And with piano? A- Similarly to guitar, it was mainly out of spite honestly. My dad kept telling me I couldn't play and so I taught myself how. J- Very poignant. I think we can wrap it up there? Anything else you'd like to add? A- No, that was good. Thanks for interviewing me! J- the pleasure is mine! --- Interview with @officialcharacterbios

[seaninkorea]

comfort without complacence

this week, i’ll be exploring the following prompt:

have any assumptions you had about the people or country become apparent to you or surprised you? have any of these assumptions proven to be wrong? what images, stereotypes or preconceived notions have been hard for you to relinquish?

i’m happy to say that i’ve been successful in my goal of getting out more! since last week, i’ve gone to quite a few cool places and met some cool people. at the same time, i’ve been going to the gym nearly every day, keeping up with my studies, and eating healthily and on-budget! in other words, i feel like i’m reaching the point of having adjusted to life here pretty well: there’s a comfortable level of consistency in my life in the way of regular activities and routines, but there’s also plenty of new things to explore and i’ve been refusing to let myself get complacent and lazy.

i think what strikes me as one of the unexpectedly hardest things about life in korea is the emphasis the society puts on doing things together. this is something that i had vague familiarity with from watching korean dramas and what-not, but i didn’t really grasp how significant a part of the culture it was until being here for a longer period of time.

personally, i do a lot of things alone, at least in the usa, like exercising, studying, and eating. that’s not to say i don’t like doing things with people, but often times it’s just hard to coordinate people’s schedules and what-not, or, in the case of studying, for instance, i just find it’s more effective for me when i study alone.

in korea, many activities that i would often do alone in the usa are almost exclusively done with others. for instance, most meals are eaten in a group. the majority of korean restaurants cater to groups of four or more, with dishes only being sold in larger servings and the cost being split among all the group. even more than eating, drinking is a completely social activity--i don’t think i’ve seen even one korean alone at a bar (although i have seen a few foreigners solo). the extent to which this tendency towards group activities permeates through society is hard to pin down. of course, it also varies from person to person. there are a few people who go to the gym i go to (snu posco center) alone, but many go in pairs. our korean teacher talked one day about how seeing someone eating (or even worse, drinking) alone makes koreans concerned that person is quite strange: “why would they eat alone? do they not have friends?”

however, to some extent that view has been changing. there are a lot of restaurants which are catered toward 혼밥 (essentially “eating alone”), and i’ve seen one advertisement for a 혼술 (“drinking alone”) place. for me, these places are great for a few reasons. for one, they still feature the insanely quick service as all other korean restaurants, so it’s easy to get a quick meal (you can even get it for takeout). for another, many allow (or require) customers to order from a touchscreen kiosk. although the menu is still in korean, it takes the pressure off of having to quickly decide and give your order to a waiter or waitress and allows you to thoroughly browse all the options. also, since pictures are included with all the food, it’s a great way to learn vocabulary. lastly, although this is a generalization, i’ve found these restaurants to generally be more cost-effective for one person dining. if you want to splurge a little bit, you should definitely get meals with friends (preferably all-you-can eat meals!), but if you’re looking for the most bang for your buck for $8 or less, eating at a 혼밥 place is definitely better than splitting a meal at a group place, in my experience.

not 혼밥, but i could’ve been! daisha and i have been checking out all the fast food places in korea (including american chains and korean ones). this one, lotteria, has wonderful friend chicken!

speaking of going it alone, i took a nice trip to a nearby park (낙성대공원, nakseongdae park) last sunday. it was wonderful, and now it’s become a personal goal to visit as many seoul parks as possible! the park featured a large empty paved area where kids rode bikes and roller skates as well as a larger traditional-style village (which was unfortunately closed at the time). 

the park contained a lot of traditional 한옥 (hanok) style buildings, like this one, which happened to be a library and restroom. if you look closesly on the right side by the windchimes, you’ll see soju bottles with buddhist charms attached hanging from the trees.

a statute of a warrior of yore dominates the view from the center of the park

the park’s entrance

on the next day, a popular kpop band shinee’s new album was set to release in the evening. personally, i don’t really know anything about shinee, but a few of the other light fellows are huge fans, and convinced me to accompany them to starfield coex mall, where shinee’s record label has a giant store, museum, and more. unfortunately, the album didn’t end up being physically released till the next day, but the mall was amazing!

kaori, lilly, and daisha by smtown

enjoying a meal at the mall’s food court~

the highlight of the mall is the library, which i forgot to take a picture of (somehow). it’s two stories of books wrapped around the center of the mall, with tons of comfy seats and cafes nearby. i’m sure i’ll be back, and promise i’ll get a good picture then!

on wednesday, sarah and i went to 덕수궁 (deoksugung palace) and one of three branches of seoul’s mmca (museum of modern and contemporary art). the mmca also has a branch by gyeongbokgung and one in seoul grand park, the latter of which is the biggest (and based on my visit there on spring break, best!). the mmca here was quite small and had mainly older art collections, as the current exhibit is showcasing the museum’s history. the good news was since, by sheer coincidence, we went on the last wednesday of the month, entrance to deoksugung and the museum were both free! usually it would have been 5000 won in total (although i believe students get in to the museum for free, but i’m not sure if that applies to international students like us).

the steps in front of the mmca are a popular photo spot for young people and ahjummas alike

the coolest piece on show (as of when we went) was the last room, which is a digital recreation of the different “stages” of the museum (the floor plan, architecture, then with exhibits, etc.). complete with an ambient soundtrack, the room is quite a cool experience. i took this cool aesthetic photo by complete accident.

the area between deoksugung and the museum gave me major boston/new york vibes. while sitting here, a group of elementary school girls asked me to take a photo with them. they spoke in perfect english too! kids these days

pondering something deep by the palace. the architecture and colors are essentially the same at all of these joseon-era palaces, but i personally preferred deoksugung to gyeongbokgung simply because there were far fewer people there!

after the museum, we took a trip to city hall, where they have a giant “i seoul u” sign. i’m not sure exactly what that’s supposed to mean, but it’s cute! these signs are scattered throughout the city, i believe, at major attractions; for instance, i think there’s one by the han river.

on thursday, i went to another museum with my snu language buddy. as i’m becoming more acquainted with speaking korean regularly and he’s trying to tailor his speech to my level, i feel like we’re becoming actual, well, buddies! we went to the national museum of korea, which was incredibly large and interesting. we were there for around three hours and hardly got through half of the exhibits or so before being kicked out at closing time.

the main hall of the museum

the museum is easily reached on subway line 4 at the 이촌 (ichon) stop. if you follow the signs, there’s an underground passage straight from the subway to the museum’s entrance.

posing by one of the national treasures of korea, a two-story tall pagoda

after getting kicked out, rain started pouring down. luckily, i brought an umbrella. 상윤 (sangyoon) and i ran to the subway station both crouched under the one umbrella laughing hysterically. moral of the story: always bring an umbrella!!

finally, yesterday i spent the evening with another friend of mine, 윤우 (yunu). she showed me some cool places in 홍대, including an all-you-can-eat pho restaurant (emoi) and a foreigner-friendly bar (“cocky pub”) where they were playing the france vs. argentina world cup match. it was filled with french people! korea is strange because day-to-day i see very few foreigners outside of the classroom. they seem to all be concentrated in little bubbles here and there.

i’m hungry again just looking at this photo

a tequila sunrise for me (shout-out to don henley) and a screwdriver for yunu. not pictured: the kozel darks we had before this--a great beer with cinnamon sugar topping 😭

hanging out with korean friends is definitely the 100% best way to improve your spoken fluency. whether it be a language partner or someone you meet through other means (ahem), they’ll not only be forgiving of your mistakes and willing to help you, but also simply the act of forcing yourself to speak and listen in korean outside of the pre-made sentences in class--to actually naturally use the grammar and vocabulary you’re learning in class in real-life situations--does wonders for speaking and listening ability and, more importantly (in my book, at least), for your confidence! 

to that end, to future light fellows/people studying abroad, if you do have/make/meet korean friends, i would encourage you to at least try to have a good deal of your conversations in korean (or whatever language you’re learning)! both sangyoon and yunu speak far better english than i do korean, and so we can certainly have “better” conversations in english. however, when i speak to them in korean, it really feels like a completely different side of them comes out--speaking to someone in their native tongue definitely allows their full personality to come out, even when they have to speak in simpler terms to you!

to close out this week, i asked yunu to write a message:

오늘 똑똑하고 멋있고 정직한 친구랑 홍대를 갔어요. 즐거웠다 :)

“today i went to hongdae with a smart, cool, honest friend. it was really fun!”

see you next soon~

[insertvisualinput]

Artist Asks Meme (Long Post Alert)

I took the questions from this post, and decided to just answer all of them without waiting for prompts, because... why not?

Also, apologies for the long post. I could have put all this under a cut, but I want it to show in its entirety on my blog page. I will tag from now on all posts like this under “long post”, if that is something you would like to blacklist from your dashboard.

1. When did you get into art? As soon as I could hold a pencil. Sure, I may have held it like Beast initially held his spoon in Disney’s The Beauty and the Beast feature film, lacking the finer motor skills due to me being barely out of diapers. That didn’t stop me from drawing thousand legged potatoes and trying to pass them as horses. However, I suppose art became to hold a deeper meaning to me during my last years of elementary school, and all the way through junior high. I had finally become deeply depressed due to bullying and being ostracized by my fellow children. My family was having a difficult time as a whole, and I decided to bottle everything in, thinking I’d only cause more worry otherwise. I would eventually come to harbor suicidal intentions. During that time drawing became an outlet for me to both express and process my emotions, so it naturally became an important necessity in my daily life. It may very well be that was something that ultimately gave me just about enough strength to keep moving forward. Unfortunately, l would later lose my passion to do art. I didn’t really see eye to eye with my high school art teacher, and that really ate at my love for doing art, seeing as it had always been something very closely linked to myself and my enjoyment rather than that of other people. I got tired going about my art as I was expected to. It would take years for that passion to rear its head again. So here I am now, learning everything all over again! 2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for? I started out on Elfwood in my teens, then also signed up for deviantART. I eventually deleted both of these galleries, once I stopped making more art and checking the activity on these sites started to feel like a chore rather than something fun. Now I have a gallery on deviantART once again, which I update pretty much whenever I have the intention to put something up on Tumblr as well. But I definitely consider my dA account more of a means to keep in touch with a couple of cool people and their artistic endeavors. This Tumblr gallery I consider more my “real gallery”... for no particular reason really. 3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand. FEAST THINE EYES.

This is not the oldest one I have on hand, though. That one has already been posted separately on my blog. 4. What defines your artistic style? That is ridiculously hard to answer to be honest. I experiment so much it becomes difficult even for myself to pinpoint what exactly it is that defines my style. There are certainly some recurring elements, like how my humans tend to have elongated, exaggerated bodies (which is something you can already see in that older drawing above). I suppose that’s one thing that defines my style - a type of exaggeration of proportions and lines. I don’t really give a shit about the dos and don’ts regarding how to make art. Legs for example bend in ways they shouldn’t, and it’s a purely artistic choice from my part. I think it adds a layer of expression to my work, without which the piece would be a lot more boring to look at. I suppose the fuckton of experimentation I do is also something of a defining feature in my art, but it’s more of a personal element than something others can recognize my art by. 5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past? Welp, I think I pretty much brushed on this already above there on question four. Yes, I do, and yes, I have. 6. What levels of artistic education have you had? I have no formal education whatsoever. Though, I did take one course at my local adult education centre. It assembled only about once a month for half a year. It was an alright course, but the teacher’s tips felt very blatantly influenced by her own personal tastes in art. I felt like I was being pushed to express myself in ways that didn’t really feel like me at all, so in the end I never showed up for the last gathering. 7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site. This practice picture drawn with ink didn’t make the cut mostly because I used the exact same perspective and general composition as for my Cheap Art Supply Challenge piece. But also because I am not that fond of it.

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done? A lot of times I just like the newest piece I’ve made the most, but there are certain works that hold additional value to me even when time passes. It’s been four years since I made it, but I’m still fond of this painting. It was the first time in years that I took up watercolours again, so the piece holds certain personal value to me. For that reason, I could even go as far as calling it my favourite. 9. What is your least favourite piece that you have done? I’m not sure I can decide. Not because I’d have so many not-faves, mind you! I can look back to the pieces I’ve made and think the ideas weren’t as cool as I thought back then, or that the techniques are horrible in comparison to what I’m capable of now. But I still do not really dislike them, because they remind me of how far I’ve come, where my foundations are, and which elements I decided to stick with. They remind me of the steps I’ve taken, and so I can’t really dislike them. 10. What do you like most about your art? Hmm, I think my favourite element in my art is just how unpolished a lot of it is. Like I have no qualms about leaving details vague. For example, a lot of times I draw less details on hands if the body shape is my primary interest in a piece I’m working on. Detailed works are very cool to look at, but there is also nothing wrong with leaving things to the viewer’s imagination, or leaving certain parts simple in order to encourage the viewer’s gaze to move where you want it to. 11. What do you like least about your art? I can’t really say. Despite all my artistic shortcomings, I am rather fond of it overall... Maybe just my lack of readiness to draw more diverse body types? Which is more of an occasional “Should I be doing that?” type of thought, rather than something I perspire over every time I draw and see I have once again created something of the lean and mean variety. 12. Have you ever considered taking commissions? Yes, and I have done some commission work in the past. Currently I have no particular drive to take new ones, however, as I’m more interested in experimenting different things as I see fit. 13. Are you looking to pursue a career in art? Not really. There was a time when I entertained that thought, but realistically speaking, I don’t think I’d work too well under the constant pressure of having to be as productive as possible at all times. I would quickly lose what art means to me, and with that, the joy it gives me. It’d just become another thing I must do to make ends meet. That, I do not want. 14. What do you like drawing the most? Human faces and animals are the most relaxing thing for me to draw, and looking at my sketchbooks, drawing them seems to be bordering on obsession. Other things I enjoy drawing, though less often, are unnecessarily long legs, skeletal figures, and armour.

15. What do you like drawing the least? Backgrounds. I have yet to figure out how to get them to look like they are actually part of the picture and not just their separate thing that is there. Environments overall are rather tricky for me, though I have made some brave attempts. Buildings are hard. Drawing lush vegetation is hard. Having very little patience a lot of times doesn’t encourage learning either. 16. Do you draw more fanart or original art? If fanart, what fandom do you draw the most of? Original art, which you might not guess looking at my blog here, since I started it just when I was about to go on a fanart loop for quite a few months. Wanting to draw fanart comes to me in certain intervals. Overall, however, I find it way more fun to draw whatever comes out of my head and hand, rather than following an already existing example. 17. What would you absolutely refuse to draw? Smut. It’s just not something I feel compelled to create. 18. What is your purpose for drawing? It makes me happier. I was going to go on a tangent about how it calms me and how meditative drawing is, how it gives me that feeling of having accomplished something, etc. - but what all that really boils down to is that simple statement. Drawing makes me happier. 19. What medium/program do you use the most in your art? Ink and watercolour are what I use the most by far. There’s something lovely about watching them spread and mix uncontrollably on a wet surface. Every now and then I get into the mood of trying other types of traditional media, though, like acrylic paint and oil pastels. Right now I’d really like to try my hand at encaustic painting... but getting the necessary equipment is an investment of over a hundred euros. That’s far too much for me in my current situation.

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.) I am sorry, but I will flat out refuse to answer this one. Ranking one’s art encourages comparison to people you admire. I am really hard pressed to see how this could be anything but toxic. 21. Do you believe there is such thing as “bad art?” Maybe. Art that never evolves anywhere, in any way, but remains absolutely stagnant? Be it on a personal level, or on a more encompassing level that challenges already existing traditions of art. On a personal level it doesn’t need to be very visible evolving either. In my mind, it’s enough if it’s something as small as “I have come to use this one colour I never before felt I could use with success.” If the question comes down to something as mundane as “Do you enjoy the art you see or do you not” being the defining element that discerns good art from the bad... Then my answer would be no, there is no such thing as bad art. I could never claim there is with good conscience, based only on my subjective likes and dislikes. 22. List at least one of your “artspirations.” Oh, I have so so many! And not all of them related to visual arts, even. But there is no point in making such a long list, so here are but a few of them: Gustave Doré and his many illustrations. I am particularly fond of the ones he made for Don Quixote and Orlando Furioso. Yoshitaka Amano. I find myself rather drawn to the elegance displayed in many of his paintings and drawings. Albrecht Dürer and his highly detailed woodcuts. Ayami Kojima and her masterful use of traditional means. She is self-taught too, which in and of itself is inspiring. Lian Quan Zhen and the beautifully lush colours in all his watercolour works. Paul Koudounaris and his absolutely gorgeous photographs of the lovingly decorated catacomb saints. (Picture below from his publication Heavenly Bodies, Thames Hudson Ltd, 2013.)

23. What do you think you could stand to improve on? Everything. I’m not really the type to stop and think I shouldn’t strive to improve more on a certain area just because I happen to like whatever I’m already doing. There are always elements I can refine, new methods of expression to test, and just plain something I could do better or at least differently enough to keep things interesting for myself. 24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.? Oh no, why end on such an embarrassing note! Cruel, cruel person, that came up with these questions. The short answer is yes. The long answer is, well, I would copy other people’s artwork, making only about just enough changes to replace the characters they drew with my own ones. Just thinking about it now makes me cringe! In case you were left wondering: None of those pictures were ever published anywhere, and have long since been burned with fire. And that’s an accurate description of what happened to them. All of them.

--- Turns out some versions of this meme also include: 25. Draw a picture! So here’s a quick pooch. Thanks for reading!