#I like my parentheses too much. I would really like a way to make it feel like reading the side notes at the same time as the actual text

[celebduwen]

TWI volume 10 spoilers ahead (minor, non-main story/side chapter, not major plot point or anything at all)

Ok so it was a couple chapters ago now, but can I just mention how well the Hedault thing was tackled (at least in my opinion)

He practically comes out as aroace, or well, at least aro and like ahxownfowbfowb

He says that his lack of romance and that pesky sexual attraction doesn’t take anything from his life, but enriches it, lets him truly focus on what he burns for.

Pirateaba did this scene wonderfully. Especially when another conclusion some people would have made, him being gay, is explicitly denied. They literally say (I don’t remember whom) “it’s okay to like men” (not verbatim) and he says that it’s not it.

This is the kind of representation that we (at least I) want, it says what it is, doesn’t feel the need to use terminology, which frankly wouldn’t exist for an identity that even our world, lesser and younger it may be, only was thought of to exist quite recently in the grand scheme of things.

It denies the “oh, not straight, let’s ship them gay then”

It says “putting this character in a relationship is the same as putting a canonically solely gay character in a straight relationship” in my mind. Even though that might not be the actual meaning of it I want to feel that way, for however much it may be worth.

A lot of our rep, (the stuff that is explicitly stated or implied and everything and whatever) is often just glanced over and people say “oh yeah, they’re gay now.” Yes you’re entitled to your ships, yes ships often just explore character dynamics (perhaps), but when you have so little, even in queer media, you start grasping at the little straws, even as they’re taken out of your hands by your bigger more well known and accomplished sibling.

[bengiyo]

Ben's Big BL Blurb 3: Blue Canvas of Youthful Days Blew It, But I Still Recommend It

I finished Blue Canvas of Youthful Days today, and I don’t like where we left off with this show. Let’s get into that, and then check in on some of the other shows I’m watching.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days Didn’t Give the Audience Catharsis

I don’t begrudge the show going for a happy ending, given how so many other BLs from their home country end with sudden traumatic turns. However, I don’t feel like we got catharsis from the ending at all. I struggle to full articulate my frustration here, but I think I just really wanted an ending akin to Weekend (2011) or Gameboys 2 (2022).

I think these two were in a position where they were unable to be together now, and I think they should have ended on a separation. When Cairo and Gav had to separate at the end of Gameboys, it was the correct choice. They were still building their lives, and Gav wasn’t doing well on his on. Similarly, Blue Canvas established a scenario whereby Qi Lu did not have the power to stop his father from harming Qin Xiao. Likewise, Qin Xiao couldn’t keep the local gang from beating Qi Lu.

I would have preferred they have the boys confront that they were hiding things from each other, and how they both failed to protect each other from the horrors. I am disappointed that we didn’t get a poignant goodbye from them as they accept that they can’t be together right now. I wouldn’t have minded so much a blurb at the end of the show with the pitch for a season 2 that they didn’t get to film (though @thisonelikesaliens commentary makes even what they wrote dour). We didn’t confront the issue with the dad at all, and we didn’t deal with Qin Xiao losing all he’d worked for.

Genuinely, I would have been okay with them getting a tag at the end of the show with them seeing each other on the street again and sharing a meaningful look. However, we never saw them face the music of their double noble idiocy, and that sucks. It especially sucks because we had Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo this year, and so we saw the consequences of this. We could have had these two railing against the world and promising to see each other again. The tag at the end of the reuse of the fantasy sequence feels tacked on and unearned. That kinda sucks more.

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended With Reservations. I really liked most of this show, and I think they wrote some phenomenal characters until the finale here. Like @lurkingshan I ended up not pleased with this ending. I am disappointed in the lack of resolution about the withholding, and I think they needed to face the separation and goodbye. However, I really liked the cast, and I respect the team that worked so hard to get this to us.

On to the rest of the show, presented in no particular order…starting with the worst. I’ll put in parentheses what episode number I’m on as of this post.

Haunted Hearts is Boring (5/7)

Magic, mah friend! Your show is boring. I do not know why these boys won’t kiss, and at this point I feel like I don’t care anymore. They’re introducing yet another ghost next week and I just am so disinvested. I try so hard every time to support Oxin Films and Regal Entertainment, but they make it so fucking hard. Holy shit. There’s only so far the boys being cute can carry a thin concept like this.

City of Stars is Better Than I Expected (2/12)

I am catching up on this show. The acting isn’t great, but I’m really enjoying a lot of what’s happening here. I will report back when I finish.

See Your Love is Fun But Kinda Weird (7/13)

The visuals are great in this show, and the leads are filling in the aesthetic gap left behind by Jimmy and Tommy in a way that really works for me. There’s been way too many pratfalls in the last two episodes. We are at 1.5 pratfalls per episode at this point. The side couple is absolutely ridiculous. I’m having fun.

Caged Again is Becoming a Favorite (4/10)

Junior is the best protagonist of the year. I’m obsessed with this penguin boy. I love the way this show uses its supernatural elements to drive its storytelling forward, even if I think the plot got a little silly in episode 4. The friend group dynamics are so fun, and I haven’t enjoyed a group of Thai boys this much since Knock Knock, Boys! (no surprise, two of them are in this show, too).

Your Sky is a Weekly Delight (3/12)

The 2gether rewrite show is great, and I will be reading no commentary to the contrary. These boys are so great, and they are one of the best couples of the year. This show is doing fake dating in a way that’s just so excellent, because it’s real dating! The boys are genuinely trying to get know each other so they can pretend to be a better fake couple. This is so close to being excellent meta commentary about dating in the digital age, and how so much of dating for the current generation is about how others perceive the validity of your relationship. It’s actually so fun to watch a show where the characters are doing all the things you’re supposed to do when you’re trying to build something with someone, but one of them doesn’t fully understand what they’ve gotten into. This show is great, and I love it.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan is so Slick (5/10)

If there’s one thing a Japanese drama is going to get right it’s trauma! This show delivered on Kai’s horrors in a way that was so visceral that I needed to pause and catch a breath. I remain obsessed with the casting of Nagatsuma Reo as Kai, because he’s taller than Suzuki Asahi sometimes. I really love that they didn’t give us the BL height difference trope, and I like that they didn’t style Kai in a way to make him look more feminine. There’s a egalitarian physical balance between Fuma and Kai that I find extremely refreshing, considering the massive class, wealth, and suffering gap between the two characters. It’s no surprise that we’ve had a dearth of gifs of their sex scene, considering it doesn’t play to the kind of asymmetric aesthetics that folks seem enjoy in their pairings.

As always, the Rei and Kai friendship remains one of the best parts of this story, and I like the way this version of Sky talks to this version of Rain about the queer stuff. He feels like he’s being careful with his friend, and not just ghosting him on important conversations about his friend’s sexual awakening (one of my major gripes with the original Thai adaptation).

Our Youth is Taking Over My Brain (4/11)

I have not moved on from the “Infect me” line, and I am still obsessed with the plausible deniability of the “no homo” that Hirukawa relies upon as he continues to pursue Minase. Now that Minase has reached his breaking point, I’m so looking forward to seeing where we go next. We’re due for a major separation, and I’m ready for a Japanese BL to not fuck up a second chance romance attempt this time. Perhaps adapting Korean work could the solution?

Spare Me Your Mercy is a Welcome Return to the Sammon Feeling I Enjoy (1/10)

I just really love when Sammon shows feel like the mystery matters more than the romance, and this feels like it’s in the correct space. I loved the initial setup, and the potential for there to be multiple murderers. I really hope that they start killing younger people in this show, because they said there were only 40 palliative care patients, and we downed three of them in the first episode. I’m so happy to see JJ again, and Tor looks great. I am looking forward to the weekly watch and theorizing with this show. Most importantly, I’m looking forward to the complex meditation on euthanasia, which this story feels like it’s taking seriously.

Love is Like a Poison Finally has Given Us a BL Battle Couple Again (11/12)

We haven’t had a BL battle couple in what feels like forever. I love that this show continues to reward us for believing in Haruto and Shiba. Haruto’s dad is the absolute worst, and I really want him to lose. I love Shiba, and I love that the show continues to give him some of the visual tropes of a legal drama (like the pan up near the end). I’m in love with this show, and it’s going to be one of my favorites of the year, I’m sure.

Fragrance You Inherit Hurts Me Because Everyone is Doing The Right Thing (4/8)

This show is actually so painful sometimes, because no one is doing anything wrong. Everyone is being as emotionally honest as they can be with everyone they speak to about all of the things that are going on. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Sakura choosing to let go of her lingering crush on Mone now that they’re both moms and their kids are dating. Besides, we presume that Mone is still married! The conversation with On-chan makes me think that Mone misunderstood the relationship Sakura had with him in college (My man is ace but not aro! We love to see it).

I just really love that everyone is trying to do right by everyone around them, and I think all of the things that remain unspoken in this show have been withheld for completely valid reasons. There are no villains in this story, and that makes it even harder to watch really kind people treat each other politely in every scene. I’m just feeling a quiet scream in me the entire time I watch a good son by a thoughtful gift for his loving mother with the help of his supportive and lovely girlfriend, as he prepares a surprise from the old friend who clearly still cares about her friend and the unrequited/unexpressed feelings between them. This show is incredible. Go watch it right now. Thank you again to @isaksbestpillow.

Conclusion

That’s more shows than I’ve been watching in a while. It’s nice to have some Thai shows back in my rotation that I’m actually enjoying. I really want the Chinese to now fuck up their endings, but it seems like 2024 will not be that year. I’ll try to check in with the end of Love is Like a Poison when the Netflix release schedule completes so folks can binge it then. In the mean time, let me know what you’re enjoying, and what else I should consider picking up.

[loupy-mongoose]

I wish my art motivation and my "want-to-move-the-story-along" motivation would get along, lol.

There's so much I rather would've drawn for this, but my brain is still in the Hisui rot. So, I'll have to make due.

Speech guide:

Randy's speech Jamie's speech (Pokespeak in parentheses) ~~Telepathy is in... these things... Whatever they're called. XD~~

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~~~~~~

The group spread out among the foliage, keeping their eyes keen and calling out Midas' name.

As they searched, Akoya sent her husband a private vent.

~~Rrrrrrrrrgggghhh! ~~ ~~Why'd she have to come with us?!~~ ~~We'll find him fine on our own, then get right back to her. She doesn't need to babysit us! What threat do we pose anyway??~~

Randy struggled to suppress a sigh. ~~I know, Hon. But we really shouldn't do anything to upset her. We're on her turf right now, and she seems to be a high authority on it.~~

~~Huh. Well I'll be happy to be done with this and back home safely in Paldea.~~

~~I know. Believe me, I know. But let's just focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now we need to make our way to Midas without her figuring out we can feel him.~~

Randy felt a stab of regret from her direction, and glance at her to see her giving him a remorseful look.

~~...I'm sorry.~~

Randy struggled to hide shock from Jamie.

~~For what?~~

~~For being difficult...~~ ~~Thank you for being patient with me, and... all this...~~

Seeing that Jamie was searching facing away from them, he met his wife's eyes and gave her a warm smile.

~~Of course, Akoya!~~ ~~I look forward to having Midas back and getting a chance to really talk in private.~~

Akoya sighed lightly.

~~Me too...~~

Midaaaas!

The pink-and-blue Mew perked up his ears, his tear-stained eyes opening wide.

(Mamah?)

His companion, a fluffy pink and russet Mew, also looked toward the calling voice. A purr was rattling from her in an attempt to calm the poor child she'd come across and curled around reassuringly.

Suddenly the young Mew bolted, startling his companion into silence.

(MAMAH!)

Midas slammed into his mother's chest. His voice came out as a whimper.

(Mamah...)

After a brief shock, Akoya smiled and hugged the little Mew close under her chin, and her eyes welled with tears. Midas... Oh thank Arceus...

Midas' fluffy companion flew up and nuzzled Jamie's head. Before Randy could comment on her, the girl gave her a startled look, but quickly recomposed herself.

(Hey, Jamie! Good to see you!)

It's good to see you too! But... a little surprising. Randy caught the quickest dart of her eyes in their direction. Clearly she was implying something, but what that was, he had no idea.

The stranger Mew smiled at the three newcomers. There was an... odd gleam in her eyes, but she turned back to Jamie, not giving any chance to ponder it.

Randy and Akoya exchanged glances. There was no avoiding it this time. She'd caught them all red-handed.

The man sighed. Yes, we all understand it.

Akoya's face turned serious, although she couldn't hide the shock she'd received. How did you know?

Educated guess. You reacted when Clover mentioned the bag. The red-haired girl met Akoya's eyes, but she appeared neutral, rather than hostile. Randy noticed that that subtle curiosity had returned.

Beside him, he saw his wife shudder. ...I don't like how sharp you are...

Much to Randy's surprise, Jamie gave a regretful smile. Force of habit. She took a snappy breath, as if to recenter herself, and straightened her postured. Shall we move on to the house?

The three Lindens looked at each other and nodded, and they set off again. But before they went far, Jamie turned to look at Akoya once more.

...So, did Midas call you "Mama"?

Feeling a wave of exasperation from Akoya, Randy answered for her, desperate to escape this weird dance of secrets they'd ended up in. We'll explain later. Can we just get somewhere where we can breathe?

The group continued on as the sun began to sink. Jamie's fluffy Mew buddy, Pari, floated leisurely around them, sometimes humming happily, sometimes picking up a chat with Jamie. Sometimes they would pass folks on the road, and Pari would wave cheerfully or let them pet her as she purred.

Randy realized then what Jamie had meant about this being a safe place for Midas to be lost at. Clearly the locals were used to having a Mew around--or two, if Jovie was as friendly and close to the people as Pari. Some Pokemon that roamed close by would come greet Jamie warmly, happy to see her back after her time away. And Randy caught glimpses of a deep, genuine smile on her face as she talked with them

He sighed, wishing things could be straight-forward, and hoped the two parties could soon find a comfortable middle ground.

He felt a gentle hand take his own, and looked over at his wife, unable to resist a soft smile as he met her eyes. Her other arm was tucked into her jacket to support Midas, who had refused to go back into the bag and was now hidden in there. Randy had taken possession of the bag.

He looked to his other side at Lav, who seemed as drained as he was. She'd been very quiet since they arrived, and he longed to pick her brain. But now wasn't the time. He felt a pang of guilt that she'd been so sidelined by all this.

He placed his hand on her far shoulder, looking for a cue that a hug would be okay. She turned up to him with tired eyes, giving a half-hearted smile and leaning into him. He tightened his grip around her.

As they walked, seeing their escort and new Mew companion at ease with the residents, his children safe in their arms and his wife and best friend by his side... he felt a deep peace settle in him.

Once they could get all the secrets and misunderstandings out of the way...

It wouldn't be so bad here.

~~~~~~

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[kalegrinch]

⭐️Sunshine⭐️ (Vers. 2.0)

(AKA re-read it right now.)

Rocky Rickaby x Reader

3.4k~ words

(July 5, 2024: Perfectionism makes me edit this fic every month or so, the ending is a bit different than the original and overall has less errors and stupidity and whatnot than it had in January, imo major revamp)

I’m not normally one to publish fanfiction, but I figured I’d share some to feed my growing infatuation for Rocky. If you like this, don’t be afraid of leaving a request of any sort. Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated. This fic is really Reader’s-internal-emotional-constipation heavy (with a side of Rocky), so read at your own risk.

SUMMARY: You meet Rocky in a cold alleyway on a rainy day. What could he possibly want at this time of night?

WARNINGS: None, except for the incessant use of the pronoun he and parentheses-notes (I promise I did those two things for important reasons) and, yeah, Reader is a whole thing

==========

Maybe it was the way in which the cold rain fell from the dark and misty night sky, drenching you completely and you wadded around. Maybe it was how it cascaded down your face like a river, like water running downstream. Maybe it was the way the lullaby yellow color from the odd street lanterns reflected on the gray cobblestone of the streets of St. Louis, casting dark shadows in every direction imaginable. Maybe it was the cold wind whipping past you and flicking your tail back and forth, only stopping to seep solemnly into the fur of your body, hidden away in a jacket you stole from a generic store long ago. Or, most likely, it could've been him. The sole being that could wake you on a night like this. Him, standing peacefully with his back turned to you, always moving and fidgeting and humming along to any new tune he creates spontaneously with the flick of his whiskers and the tap of his shoe. Him, perfectly unaware of your presence.

He’s waiting for me. Even the thought of something so preposterous chilled you to the marrow, but you didn't understand why. When Mitzi told you he wanted to meet you here earlier in the speakeasy, you had plenty of time (A little less than 42 hours) to prepare (Mentally) for him. When and why had it all- everything from his random ramblings to the toothy grin to the syrup-coated language- suddenly become too much? When had it suddenly made you feel differently? Now you look forward to seeing him every day and participating in those stupid antics with him. It’s getting to the point where he’s one of the only things that pushes you forward to face every waking hour you have to endure on this planet. When did it get to that? And why?

You didn't dare let yourself think about (let alone believe in) anything more than platonic feelings. There should be nothing more than platonic feelings between the two of you. Nothing.

But why did that feel so wrong?

St. Louis isn't known for its hills, but this one that led up to this particular spot meant a lot to you. This particular spot, where the sun would always come up in the morning and where no one was curious enough to venture. Almost hanging on the horizon, it always spreads its glorious, haunting light across the acres of water that was the Mississippi River. You would often come to this cliff with him, always sitting on the very edge of the thick, stone railing that tried its best to prevent accidents with the shallow water far below, waffling with him till your throats were sore. And then some more, for good measure. It had become a tradition, to spend early mornings here with him. And you made sure it happened enough, enough to nourish this newfound infatuation for him that you regret admitting even to yourself.

Everything on the other end, across that ambiguous, murky sea, was blurry and insignificant, mere blobs of floating rock and bridges you could never cross. Sometimes, when you stared hard enough at the sight, you felt rather insignificant yourself. The thoughts would come running, coating you in the solution of your own despair and agony. Leaving you alone in the dark and endless tunnels of panic and fear, the one of your own creation. But then you'd turn around to your companion by your side, the one bathed in the sun’s orange light that never stopped the goofy yackety-yak and heartfelt, serious conversations with you, and for a couple of minutes the weight would be lifted and the world wouldn't feel as colossal, as cruel as it always did. The world was starting to feel more worth approaching with every day that passed, as long as you could approach it with him.

Now, your quiet footsteps echoed out in the dim and suffocating alleyway, a backdrop for his bard as you approached the incoming balcony that, after a long drop, gave way for the river. When you were close enough, you could see his relaxed shoulders, the rain dripping from his hat, and the way he leaned on the nearby brick wall for support right at the opening of the cleft where the two compact buildings ended. Although he was turned around, you could clearly picture his eased expression and considering eyes, scanning the river that was constantly being struck by the rain, mishaping the reflection of the bright, full moon from far above. He was always more subdued here, more calm, as if he felt sufficiently safe enough around you to let his guard down for you (It took plenty of coaxing for him to reach that state, of course) His voice rang into the night sky, only weighed down by the abundance of droplets that made you regret the fact that you did you hair this morning (for him):

A lover of choices more inconspicuous than ambivalent

She walks along penetrated pathways, all apathetic and innocent

The feeling’s initial, official, more vivid and free

Better for the perspicacious preacher of the land and sea

You’d never heard it before. It must have been new.

“Hey there sunshine,” Your surprisingly hesitant voice broke through the silence, “What’s that one about?”

He immediately turned around to face you, just as he always did in response to any of the teasing nickname you decided to use at all given moments. Sunshine had become one of your favorites, as it always earned you a warm smile and tail swish. Now there was a surprised grin plastered across his face, and you had to take your time to observe his pretty features.

Pretty? Where did that come from?

The icy blue eyes that always impeded any train of thought and seized your breath. The expressive eyebrows, imperfect blue suit...the blatant bullet hole in his sharp ears you've always wanted touch. All at once, you had an infatuating urge to run forward and encompass him in a hug as an apology.

Snap out of it, idiot

You had created an imaginary seven-inch glass wall between the two of you for your sake. To maintain sanity. And maybe your dignity, too. But there was a look of need present on his face, like his want for its demolishment exceeded your comprehension. If that nagging voice at the back of your head was correct, then that look was probably also plastered across your face as well.

“Ah, M’lady! What a pleasure, encountering you today! I was thinking-”

“Cut the dramatics, sweetheart. It's pouring out here. Unless you're planning to take me back to your place, I suggest you get on with it.”

The evident flirting was normal now (You assumed) but it still managed to catch the both of you off guard. It didn’t feel appropriate, this late at night, only reciprocated with the song of rain. Unpunctual nights alone in your drab apartment made you wonder if it meant anything. To him. And maybe to you, too. Nevertheless, it was expected of you. It was a part of your “personality.” It was your thing, your thing around him now.

Still, he smiled, “I wanted to… um…discuss the incident from mere days ago...”

You promptly recalled what he was talking about. A couple of days ago, you had a small argument in the speakeasy, resulting in you storming away from the situation before it escalated. Something about your safety. Ever since your first encounter (The one you’d like to forget but he always teased you about) the two of you followed each other everywhere. You practically had your own language, for whenever the two of you were at it with an easy-going squabble, heads would turn and concerned looks were spread.

I’m pretty confident the nature of pickles do not require an extended thesis, sunshine

But they do, love, they do! Think about it: The earth is a pickled fruit of the universe, just as pickles are the pickled fruit of the earth!

…Pickles are fruits?

Following him constantly resulted in figuring out about the whole rum-running gig sooner than expected, and after a plethora of begging, he let you come with him on those dangerous, late-night expeditions. It had become a trend, and you had more or less ditched journaling and had become an asset for the Lackadaisy. It wasn’t very profitable, but spending time with him was worth everything you had to give. And after a particularly wild quest, he asked you to stop aiding him in those misadventures so you wouldn’t get hurt, and the spat ensued. And you ran away. And you haven't seen him in three days, whether it's out of pure embarrassment or fear. Ah, great. Now you were spiraling into if he cares enough about me to fight me for my safety… then that means something, right? You couldn’t stroll into this dangerous territory of believing blindly. Not again.

“Well,” You took a breath and faced him again, mustering a look of defiance, “I don't want to”

Because you didn't enjoy arguing with him. At all. Because you didn't want to be away from him for another three days ever again. Even if you were the one who ran away and would run away again if it meant evading your problems.

“I'm won't pester you with that topic, love,” He chose his words carefully, speaking slowly like you’ve never heard before, all while maintaining eye contact, “Not today-if you truly don't wish to, I mean. I've just wanted to see you again. I’ve missed you” He made a weird face, a mix between apologies you did not require and come to me, please.

The honest commission left you with your mouth agape and took all of the previous guilt and regret away, leaving you with a horrible feeling of loneliness. Sure, you’d expected it for you yourself felt empty without him recently, too. But a verbal confession from him was different than the made-up acknowledgement you created in your head. It was as if you had just now processed the days you spent without him, and while a meager three days to the average person, enough to make you start towards him with your arms spread wide, actions tainted with regret. The invisible seven-inch glass wall vanished beneath the desire of him.

You hadn't spared a glance at the look on his face before you collided with him, a tangle of arms enveloping around his body. He almost fell but quickly took few steps backward, trying to regain his stance. It wasn't long before he reciprocated the hug and the two of you were locked in a warm, supposedly never-ending embrace.

The side of your face hung close to the fluff of his chest, and for a few quiet moments, you heard his shallow breathing and heart beating. When you felt his resting head on yours, you brought your tail towards his fluffy one hesitantly, merely tapping the tip of it in question. The question was answered as if there was no time to spare and they entwined, a reassuring feeling resonating through you that you’ve never really felt before. A feeling that said thank you. Thank you for staying. It was the type of fondness and fulfillment that captured who whole being and seized your heart, stoping it in this moment of time. This moment of time, with his arms wrapped around your back, his body shielding you from the cold, cold rain. This moment of time, where the forbidden three words were stuck at the edge of your tongue.

Those words were forbidden for a reason, so instead you tried to express yourself in, “God, I’ve missed you too”

It was a soft murmur, accompanied by you pulling your head away from his chest and resting it against his forehead without a glance at his expression for fear of what you would find. You made it fast, you made the motions quick. The big feelings were swallowing you whole and it made you act out of reason. You almost felt high. On him.

For a couple of seconds, the two of you breathed the same air and felt the same things. His fur touching yours, his paws on your back. You could hear a sharp inhale from him with the touch, but it soon returned to a slow inhale and exhale and his whiskers tickling yours. The low temperature of the cloudy night was long forgotten, now it was just you and him in this debarred show of affection. It was peaceful. It was quiet, giving a movement for the pattering rain to continue singing.

But he spoke anyway, cutting the sweet melody short. Drawing his head back slightly, he averted his gaze from yours, most likely meaning what he was about to say was important to him, “I started wondering-actually-” He cleared his throat, the nerves catching up, “Um... over the past couple of days- If you, um- if you trouble yourself... with the thought of me... like I do... with you” His head faced you once more with a tentative yet adorable look. He was absolutely petrified from this new whatever you were. He was petrified… but you knew, whether it was fact, your intuition, or just simple stupidity, that he craved this new whatever just as much as you did.

But this was weird, you had to admit. His stuttering was weird (He’s never stuttering). This level of touch was weird (The two of you were accustomed to that sort of thing, but not like this). The feeling you felt in the pit of your stomach, the growing feeling was weird. You resented labeling it, whatever it was.

You resented labeling it. Always did, always would. Because once you confirmed to yourself what you felt was real, the chance of making it out alive would deplete exponentially. Because he would leave, like they always did. And if he left now- you’d barely be able to scrape by. So you didn't want to imagine what that would be like after you admitted everything.

But, for once, when you pulled away, there was a new measure of fondness that overtook everything you held close, every rule you’ve ever written for yourself. Because when you pulled away and stared into those blue, thinking and questioning and beautiful eyes, and when you reached up and ran a gentle finger over the conspicuous hole in his ear (despite your better judgment) and when he shivered and smiled lightly, his mouth agape and as he continued to stare at you so closely with that observing and questioning stare (With something else mingling underneath, if you dared to imagine) nothing was holding you back. It could be the death of something precious to you, but as long as you could show him you cared about him as deeply and fiercely as you truly did, the needed actions were important and required.

So before you could spiral into another abyss of hurt and regret and rules written in sand, you reached up onto your toes and closed your eyes, still enveloped in the comforting embrace that challenged the night itself. You somehow got even closer to him, with the smell of syrup and rain coalescing into your senses. Your whiskers tickled as you brushed your lips against his.

With extreme care, you tried to take the lead in navigating this kiss. But a couple of seconds later, fear prickled through you. No, not prickled. engulfed. The both of you just stood there as your post short-circuit predicament was brought forth into conscious realization and you started regretting everything that brought you to this point, to this kiss. He hadn't reciprocated it yet. He didn't want you like you wanted him. The confidence was melting away and you were about to pull back, for why would he want you?

Im so stupid, You repeated this to yourself over and over again, drawing away, Im so stupid, Im so stupid-

But that was the exact moment you felt him seemingly snap up and return the kiss with the zeal of a starving man.

This was the feeling you'd been chasing since you'd met him. You realized that now, as your mind went blank and your emotions took over. You wanted this, and everything else he was and everything else he was willing to give you. The three words continued swirling and dancing in your mind, intoxicating you along with his taste of syrup and freedom and ridiculously long words.

For what felt like hours, the two of you stood in the pelting rain and nipping wind and the glow of the bright moon and odd yellow street lights. For what felt like hours, you were free of the problems that veiled you in life and haunted you in dreams. For what felt like hours, he was the only thing that ever mattered or will ever matter. For what felt like hours, you let yourself feel love.

But all good things come to an end, and you were running out of breath. When you pulled away and opened your eyes, you witnessed something not many get to see. Him utterly shocked and pleased and so many other things yet quiet at the same time. His eyes were closed for the first few seconds, but when they opened again slowly you could see the blown pupils and awestruck expression on his face, the parted, gasping mouth, and the shallow breaths and the completely ruffled exterior, with all that thinking and commotion going on inside displayed perfectly for view. A site you really didn't know you needed to see.

When he eventually got himself together again, you were patiently waiting, (as you always were) trying your hardest to muster up a smug grin (he could always see through your facade). The yellow of the lamps lit up his face, his astonished expression evident as for once he was lost for words.

“I-I… you-”

“I’ll see you again tomorrow, hm?” You let your voice become a whisper to reflect the rain that continued to patter on the stone ground, “Can't wait to see a drunk Freckle. I wonder what he’s gonna do when Ivy kisses him” Back to the persona. Back with the personality.

Before the innate desire to stay with him caught up with you, you sent him a quick peck on the cheek and snapped around stamping out all thought, back towards where you came from. Your tail swished against his leg as you walked away as a last form of good-bye, but before you got to escape you felt a warm hand grab your wrist. The want controlling the rational part of your brain that demanded a dramatic exit, you decided to turn around.

Cradling his cheek with his other hand, his mouth was agape (as it seemed to be quite often recently) and his pretty gaze was trained on you (you now learn it was always on you, ever since you met him). When he registered your eyes on him, though, he did a slight double take. As if he hadn't realize you'd turn around and had subconsciously reached out to you. He straightened himself up and dusted himself off and whatnot, even though that did absolutely nothing to his appearance. He still looked just as frazzled as during the kiss. So very adorable. So very yours (hopefully, don't get too excited).

Through the rain, you decidedly sent him a quick wink and before he formulated another sentence you tugged at your wrist slightly, gently. You knew he would never force you into anything you didn't want to do. You truly trusted him with your whole life, even if he was crazier than the perspicacious preacher of the land and sea. He looked down but before he let go, he whispered a word you couldn’t hear over the rain.

At your confused hum, he spoke louder, “You,” you shoot him a puzzled glance this time, and you saw the smallest of profound smiles appear on his lips, “Your earlier inquiry about my previous poem.”

“It’s about you.”

He said it with no hesitation, as if he didn’t care for your state of mind or for keeping you sane. As if the fool didn’t know how much his words affected you. As if he still didn’t now how much me meant to you.

And yet you knew you were the fool, standing in a rainy alleyway in the middle of the night.

A fool who couldn’t breathe.

He hesitantly let you go, his body still inclined towards you with the sort of something filled gaze that made your heart beat fifty times faster yet clench shut all the same. Vigorously fighting your aforementioned innate desire, you walked away without another look at his face. Keeping face, and all, for you only had so much mental strength to allow yourself any affection in a day.

Only when you finally escaped his gaze on your back were you able to breathe properly and think correctly.

But for the first time in a while as you trenched back to that dingy apartment you’ve started to identify as home, you wondered if the ability to love still thrived inside you. Truly love, not the acting you displayed constantly to satisfy the seemingly infinite void of fear woven into the fabric of your being like an abandoned tapestry. You’d have to give love another shot and tend to it, though. As your dad used to say, miracles don't come by often, and only an idiot lets one slip by. Rocky sure felt like a miracle.

[gonzoclock]

hey! i really like your characterizations of peter and tom (im assuming for tom) as psychopaths, and as someone who loves to write diverse neurotypes (its just more interesting + rep is always awesome) i just gotta ask: how do you find unbiased stuff when it comes to heavily stigmatized disorders (i.e. psychophathy, antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, etc.)? or do you not research them (in which case, what do you do? i've considered consulting r/askreddit...)?

anyways sorry if this is confusing to read, i love myself some parentheses, and i love the fics of yours ive read so far! (i'll get around to all of them eventually). thanks :)

I'm so glad you like them! They're definitely two of my favorite guys to write haha. (I say like I don't love writing all of them)

Anyways, to answer your question: unbiased research is hilariously (in a sad way) hard to find. I do rely on a lot of anecdotal experiences (such as Reddit) when I have some questions regarding specific instances, or specific things people with said neurotypes would like to see represented, but… honestly, Wikipedia and the DSM5 are my main sources. Both of which obviously have their issues, and I like to double-check when I feel like a somewhat ridiculous statement is presented as fact, but they also lay out things relatively clearly and without too much fluff (or obvious bias).

My best advice, though, is to prioritize the character over whatever neurotype they have. That's not to say discount it, not at all--but in my experience, writing the character as a character first and foremost is going to be the best way to do it. Tom and Peter are both psychopaths (at least, that's how I would label them), but they're still very different characters with very different motivations. Everyone is unique, and just because some people fit under a certain umbrella doesn't make them the umbrella itself. At least, that's how I go about it.

Thank you for the ask! Hopefully that answered your question :D

[project-sekai-facts]

yo, do ya have any favourite lyrics and/or line distributions? akito getting multiple lines about dogs is neato

Hoshizora no Melody has my favorite lyrics in the game it's not even a tough choice. I love how well every character's arc is conveyed through only a few lines it's so good. Emu could never and would never leave PXL (her grandad) behind, and WxS was able to finally change things for her and help her protect it. Rui was outcast his whole life and he came to accept it as something that would never change - it wasn't until WxS (Tsukasa) reached out to him and let him be passionate about his dreams without judging him that he was finally able to turn things around. Tsukasa throws his all into theatre (making people happy) and it's something that is so deeply ingrained as a part of himself, but WxS let him actually pave the way to make his dream a reality. Nene was too shy to face anyone and couldn't get over the things in her way (her past failures), but she was able to rediscover her passion for singing and is able to sing for everyone once again.

The prechorus parts too, Emu and Tsukasa sing the part about realising that the world can make people smile because both of their dreams are to make people smile. Emu and Rui singing about the world giving life back to things they'd given up because Rui gave up on the thought of belonging and Emu was going to have to give up the Wonder Stage. Rui getting the part about celebrating the colors of the world because his dream is to create shows that anyone can enjoy regardless of identity.

As you said I think Akito getting lines about dogs is a nice little bit of recurring irony. I particularly like this example from Gekokujo that conveys his unwavering determination and drive even when he's faced with forces pushing against him really nicely. Also just Gekokujo's lyrics as a whole I think reflect the event so well.

N25 probably has the best lyric game like there's so many good examples from their songs. Particular favorites would have to be Engeki for summarising basically Mafuyu's entire life in such a gut-punching way, and Tricologe for a similar reason for Hoshizora in that it just does such a good job of representing every character.

IDSMILE/lower parallels my beloved <3

Gunjou Sanka is another favorite of mine. If you couldn't tell by now I love stuff that either tells a story or describes a character. Or both. All of Gunjou Sanka is so good and really packs a punch with the emotions but I really like the first verse and prechorus here where it describes the basics of each main story in just one or two lines each. I especially love the Leo/need segment about being able to believe in wanting to stay together since they've moved on from their pasts and are reuinted now.

And how could I forget Mr. Showtime. This one has such clever lyrics and I love the use of parentheses to add secondary meanings to certain parts. The whole song is perfection but I'm particularly fond of this section here, specifically the last line because it understands Tsukasa so much better than like half the fandom does. Theatre is something that Tsukasa genuinely dedicates everything to, in some ways (every way) it is his life. Phoenix is a great example to demonstrate that because it highlights just how much it means to him and how he's willing to put it above everything else, including his own wellbeing, to try and overcome the obstacles he faces. At the end of the day though, even if it's tough and can feel like it's taking too long or isn't worth it, the roadblocks he doesn't anticipate are the ones that help him improve most and get closer to his dream than anything else.

also just this one lyric from Showtime Ruler I love character development. Karasuyasabou actually says that's his favorite in the song, and he talked quite a lot about the lyrics for the rest of the song in his corocoro interview. I'd suggest giving it a read because it's pretty interesting what he says about how he wrote it.

this is getting a bit long so i'll stop here haha

[w3ndytheraccoon]

About time I make an intro post ig

Hi, I’m Wendy/Raccoon/Other names I’ll tell you if you ask !

I like blue & yellow and raccoons alot if you can’t tell (tbh I just like all animals)

Lesbian oriented AroAce and Agender

My preferred pronouns are he/she, but any is fine :D

I’M A MINOR !! While I don’t really care since I’ve seen alot of shits, I would still appreciate if you keep the sexual stuff not too graphic (unless it’s funny. Then I give you the go ahead but it better be worth it) (Gore and violence and things like that are fine tho (idk my standards are weird))

I can’t read tones very well, so clarifications, through tone tags, parentheses like I do or any other way, are appreciated !

For some reasons my personality, morals, philosophies, opinions, styles and about everything about myself (besides basic shits like fav animals, colour and fruit) often switch around and contradict eachother like a randomised machine on what seem to be a daily basis, so if you see a post of mine that said something and another post that said the exact opposite, I promise I’m not lying or doing it on purpose :,)

I was also cursed by a witch as a child to be a pathological and compulsive liar (because apparently THAT also stays consistent) so um. Ik I said I’m not lying but I might. Idk. But it isn’t on purpose ! Usually anyway. Take everything I said with a grain of salt because it rarely stays is what I’m saying

TW !!! I reblog alot of things that can be triggering and while I try to tag them for filtering, I forgot alot, so these are trigger warnings for thing you may see on my blog:

Flashing lights

Swearing

Blood & Gore

Violence

Deaths

Weapons

Abuse

SA

Sexual content

Suicide idealisations

Self harm

Dehumanisation

Disassociation

Eating disorder

General mental illness trigger warning

Politics

My fandoms (I’m in alot of them, but these are the main ones/stuffs you can expect on my blog):

Anything Greek mythology related

Hermitcraft/Traffic series/Dream SMP/Empires SMP/literally anything mcyt

Tangled the Series, Ducktales the Reboot, Pokemon, Gravity falls, The Owl House, Amphibia and various other children shows

Bungo Stray Dogs

YA novels (send me some recs in ask !)

My OCs !

General shitposts

My tags (these were created later so if you see a post of mine that I didn’t tag tell me so I can go tag it):

#wendy’s stuff: My own posts

#wendy rambles: Same as first one but for longer/more nonsensical “rambly” posts

#wendy’s add-on: Posts that are not mine but I add something, either in tags or as a reblog, that I think is significant enough for its own tag

#saving this for later: Posts that I think are helpful

#me with my friend(s) <3: Anything that includes/references my friends whom I adore very much

Speaking of which, my friends (not the same as moots (you guys are still cool tho I just dunno enough to consider you a friend)) !:

@shiloh-the-shidiot

@stereorebel

@your-local-squip-fanatic

@thementallyillapollochild

@echo-stimmingrose

@the-portrait-of-dorian-gay / @the-picture-of-dorian-gay-2

@calciferthesilverfox

@athenas-wise-girl

@feral-goblin-kid

@mythologymakesmeconfused

@c0rdylin3

My qpp isn’t on here but I’m including her as a special shout out since I mentioned her alot and she’s very cool. Bee if you ever decide to get Tumblr and is reading this ily <3

DNI if you are: A paedophile, a zoolophile, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, racist, a bigot in general, or support these people

On that note, while this may seem bad, but please don’t send me donation asks. I am a jobless minor and I can’t even help myself.

My twitter account where I just repost stuff, idk why anyone would want it but I’m just throwing it here

[vees-genshin-blog]

Day 15 and 16!!

Warning: 5.1 spoilers here as I reach the end of the story update!!

So yay!! Midterms are done (for now 😭), so I was finally able to continue the Archon quest!!

In day 15, other than dailies, I did a few runs of the VV domain but got nothing better for Kazuha 😔. I'd add a bit more, but day 16 is going to be way longer so I figured it's best to keep it short.

Day 16: After essentially 2 days of not playing any hoyo game, I Iog in so I can finish the quest!!

Like my previous post, bold is actual reaction and parentheses is after thoughts. We are continuing after Capitano and Mavuika's talk.

Ok I'm guessing now that Mavuika is the last hero because there are no other prominent characters, plus all the tribes are accounted for, I think. I'm really curious who it is though. (I realize that i am dumb later and clearly misremembered Mavuika's explanation in 5.0)

ORORON IS SO CUTE WITH HIS SINCERE APOLOGIZING 😭😭😭😭

No Ororon!! Just accept the compliment!!

Xilonen and Citlali are finally gonna make the name!! Xilonen's gonna die?? I mean, there's probably gonna be a workaround or something cause there's no way hoyo is going to kill her off but STILL. (It seems like there are a lot of slots empty in the tool, so do we need to fill it up before the name can be made? Actually, i'll check it later to see if it changed after the war. Assuming it needs to fill up, how are we going to do that before Mavuika has to go?)

MAVUIKA is gonna die too now??? I'm really curious how hoyo is going to pull this off now. Lord of the Night is basically garantuing this death.

OH no. I have to make a decision (cue PTSD from TOT where i accidentally chose the decision that killed off an entire tribe in Dragonsbreath because i was tapping too fast😭😭). I can tell there are probably consequences to choosing one place to help over another 😭😭😭 (Yup, seeing how one place was no longer salvageable hurt and triggered PTSD)

KINICH!!!

You gotta respect and admire how much everyone cares about Mavuika.

CUTSCENE! MAVUIKA?!?!?! What're u planning?!?!? Also Capitano coming to the save 🥹🥹🥹

My gosh everyone is dead here 😔😔😔. Its definitely a real war now.

Was I supposed to jump off there?!?! 😭😭😭 Lumine speaks!!! (No seriously, the map seemed to circle that area as a place I could go to, but the balloon didn't stop so i was very confused and sad that I might've been able to save someone there)

CHASCA!?!? She's crying, and I'm crying and we're all crying 😭😭😭 CHUYCU DIED!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭 (Hoyo killing these characters in front of us 😭😭)

What!! I thought she was already a hero!?!?!? I guess I really misremembered who they mentioned was a hero 😭😭😭

THEY'RE ALL HERE!!! Mavuika looks so cool 🥹🥹🥹 But is it really just gonna be us plus the heroes fighting?? (Nope, everyone's fighting and I misunderstood again 😔)

The extra convos are so cute!!

WE WON!! But also, what the heck was behind the false sky!?!?!? (I really don't know enough of the hidden lore to know what that could be)

Feast time!! Capitano joined us!!! Also hmmm, Mavuika (and maybe us) alone to fight the abyss? Are we sure about this????

OOOOH!! Mavuika flashback!! RONOVA says the iconic line from the trailer!! The one that gave a sneak peek to all the acts for each region!

CAPITANO?!?!?!

So yeah, this update was amazing and I really liked how they made your decision on where to go have an actual effect on the results because it made the war so much more devastating 😭😭😭. Knowing that the other place would get run over by the Abyss depending on where you go....

Anyway, that's it for today!! Hope everyone has a nice day!!

[tickletoy]

🌺 Tumblr's (other) public tickle toy 🌺

Credit to @tickle-dish for the template, inspiration and courage to try something like this! ❤️

When I'm here, I'm here to get tickled, teased, and tortured...and punished. 😳

😈 Current punishment: N/A

😳 Previous punishments: N/A

💕 Things I love:

🌺 TICKLING!

💖 TICKLING!!

🌺 TICKLING!!! I don't deserve mercy! 🫣

💖 Nipple play--teases, tickles, as well as below and behind.

🌺 Tickle-related CNC

🌺 Objectification and degradation

💖 Bullying in regards to/using tickling

🌺 Overstimulation and forced orgasms, also related to tickling/pleasure overload

💖 Hypnotisim (related to tickling, just started exploring this…)

💗 Roleplay/Different tickle torture scenarios

💓 Fear!! I love being scared/threatened with tickles and eternal tickle/orgasm torture! Also the threat of a knife/choking is fine but no actual pain- just the threat!

💖 Primal/Prey. Pretty self explanatory!

💗 Supernatural abilities being used against me! Anything from Gods, Demons, and Vampires in particular all really get me going in particular!

💓 One of my biggest fantasies is to be reduced to nothing more than my clit, nipples and asshole, typically put in boxes to be toyed with, for all eternity. Glory holes are also great!

🌺 DMs are not my thing(too personal) but I love asks because I have to answer them publicly for everyone to see, which adds to the humiliation.🫣 My ask tag is #yourtickletoymustanswer. Teasing, orders, bullying, scenarios. I consent to receiving mean and condescending messages. Give me what I deserve. ❤️

💕Worst Best Tickle spots:

Nipples, inner thighs, pussy, clit, asshole, sides, feet

Other stuff:

Tickling isn't foreplay for me. It's the main course. I like sexual tickling (nipple and pussy tickling is my fave, as well as behind) but don't want to talk about sex itself.

I don't really like chatting about unrelated personal topics on here. It adds to the thrill that I only exist to be used as a toy for tickles and keeps a healthy distance. I chat and make friends in other avenues. I interpret any variation of "how are you?" as "I didn't read even the short version of your bio and I will be boring to play with."

I really, REALLY like mean and degrading messages. I fully consent. I'll publish almost any ask I get to humiliate myself in front of all my followers.

For those who want the visuals, I'm 4’9, 118 lbs, C cup.

Dick pics = automatic block.

I don't like to RP in the time-consuming, scene-setting, multi-paragraph way, but I'm cool with you describing what you'd want to do to me and I'll react to it. 🫣 Exceptions are below!

If you are my follower, and especially if you send me messages to post, I consider you one of my many owners. I'm your public tickle toy. Just share. ❤️

Be aware I may brat, act naive/clueless or be submissive depending on my mood. 

Limits:

No only feet stuff please! I don't mind it being included as a spot at all, but I'm not comfortable with it being the main event.

I prefer a distance when talking, so if possible feel free to browse my Fandom list and pick a character you know to tease me with/about, this is also the main time I'm happy with potentially roleplaying something more long term/lengthy. 3rd person is preferred and though I also default to 3rd, I can do 1rst if the person would prefer it for their pleasure. Just let me know. Under the response my tags and anything in parentheses will be me out of character responding to the response/its effect on me; same with tags.

Fandom List is under S's tickle fandom list tag! If asked I'll link it!

I will share some of my tickling related writing on here, occasionally including Original Characters or Fandom characters that fit my fantasies, feel free to use them as well. Either expanding on the scenario, or creating a new one.

You can still send things as yourself! Just know I may be more shy/take longer as I'm new to putting myself out there in this context and would much prefer a character!

I'm not comfortable with public exposure, so please don't ask that of me for my punishments ❤️

[stolenslumber]

hang your head low in the glow (pjs)

In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.”

OR: A selection of moments in between the parentheses at the end of devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (some things may not make sense without reading that first, but it's up to you!).

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: established relationship, fwp (fluff without plot), no like seriously this is just straight up fluff and romance and making out with scant narrative WARNINGS: swearing, kms/kys jokes, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes WORD COUNT: 10k (derogatory)

to all the boys i’ve fake-dated before (you, jay, sunghoon, yeonjun, chan, vernon, mark, and 5 others)

jay: peace out losers (except for my REAL gf whom i adore and cherish)

*jay has left the chat*

sunghoon: omfg no way???? jay bitchless era no more?

you: are u calling me a bitch

sunghoon: NOOOO i would never haha btw do u still talk to my sister

you: yeah

sunghoon: right so i’m just ur humble liege

chan: congrats, you two! well i guess jay can’t see this

you: i will accept your congratulations on his behalf :DD i’m really happy you guys 

mark: stop i’ll cry

vernon: no rly i’m next to him rn and he’s tearing up

mark: they deserve it so much!!! after everything i put them through 

you: excuse me it was mostly me

you: all jay did was orchestrate an elaborate scheme to get you and mina together (okay so he did a lot)

you: but we ALL participated

you: and i had to pretend to DATE you

mark: only for like two hours!!!!

yeonjun: wait this reminds me i’ve always wanted to know what ur ranking of us as fake bfs would be

you: in first place: park jongseong

yeonjun: and then?

yeonjun: hello??????

“Can I ask you something?”

Jay turns his head to you. “Of course, baby.”

Baby. Hearing it still makes you all silly and giddy, though it’s been four days since you started dating him for real and hearing it all the time. Baby, doll, Cinderella, mine. He sure has a way with words. You clear your throat, hoping that your voice won’t crack when you say, “Why were you so weird about the fake-dating thing in the beginning?”

He makes a face at you. “What do you mean, weird? You’re telling me you thought I was weird about it, even after you had to endure Sunghoon?”

“Sunghoon was just awkward. Really awkward, but still. You stalked me to my front door—”

“Your front door is, like, 90 seconds from mine.”

“— and walked with me to Nat’s at a glacial pace, while not saying a word. And then we talked for an hour about random stuff before you promised to help Mark with Mina, even though you weren’t sure you wanted my help. Why were you so weird about it all?”

“Pretty girls make me nervous?” He offers you a winning smile.

“Flattery won’t get you everywhere, Park Jongseong.”

“Yeah, but it’s getting me somewhere, isn’t it?” He rolls all the way over to hover above you and then dips so low that the pendant on his necklace swings in front of your face. The two of you had escaped the party in the frat’s basement after it had gotten too hot down there; Jay said he “knew a spot”, which made you laugh when it turned out to just be his bedroom. But then he pushed open his window and coaxed you out onto the flat roof, and that’s where you had settled on your back, gazing up at a cloudless sky, scattershot through with faint stars. 

Well, you were gazing up at the stars— now, Jay occupies your line of sight, and he’s all smiles and hearts in his eyes. It’s not an unwelcome substitute.

Your hand slips between your bodies so you can rub your fingers over the pendant on his necklace; you laugh when you realize what it is. “J as in Jay? Like T as in Troy?” 

He huffs, rolling off of you to sit back on his heels. “No, J as in Jopping. Yes, J as in Jay!”

You hold your hands up, still laughing as you sit up to face him. “Okay, okay, sorry! Didn’t realize my boyfriend was also a preppy high school girl.”

He rolls his eyes even as he pulls you into his lap. These days, he’s hopelessly afflicted with must-be-close-to-my-girlfriend syndrome. “I have layers, Cinderella. Like an onion.”

“... Are you paraphrasing Shrek?”

Jay flicks at the tip of your nose. “You know, it reveals just as much about you as it does about me that you caught the reference.” 

“You’re not helping yourself in the high school girl category,” you tease, but it’s all syrupy sweet fondness, punctuated by a playful tug at his reddening ear. 

He turns his head to kiss the inside of your wrist. “Do you want to hear my answer or not?”

You nod and straighten your spine with your hands folded neatly against your chest; the picture of propriety, if it weren’t for your legs straddling his waist as he leans back on his hands. “Yes, please.”

“I was… sussing you out, I guess. You know why I wanted to bring someone to my parents, but I couldn’t just bring anyone. I wanted to get to know you a little better, to see if you were someone I could actually see myself wanting to be with, because anything less would be a disservice to my parents. I didn’t want your help if I couldn’t confirm that you were the real thing. And then I saw how patient but also no-nonsense you were with Mark, and how quickly you were willing to help with a frankly crazy plan, and you just… felt right. You felt right to me; you felt like the real thing.” Jay blushes, ducking his head to avoid your gaze. Everything he said is true, of course, and he doesn’t regret telling you any of it, but saying it out loud like this makes his heart feel like it’s going to fall out of his chest.

In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.”

Jay’s confidence comes back like a boomerang. He leans up and catches your hands in his, draping your arms around his neck before gliding his hands up and down your back. “Who’s flattering who, now?” 

You shrug. “Where’s it gonna get me, gorgeous?”

“Well, only because you called me gorgeous.” And then he’s kissing you, lush and lovely. 

Fall trickles into winter, and there are final exams and goodbyes to your friends before you and Jake leave on a two-week trip to see your family in Australia. You and Jay FaceTime almost every day; he complains about getting pasty staying indoors in the cold while you’re out tanning on white sand beaches. 

“Should I fly out there?” he muses one day close to the end of your trip. “You could be, I dunno, in danger! Because of the sun. No one to help you put sunscreen on your back… or check that you’ve applied enough on your legs… or your chest… It’s really important, you know. Skin cancer awareness.”

You laugh. “Thanks for the PSA, baby. I’m coming back in a few days, though, so I think I’ll be okay.”

Jay sighs mournfully. “I’m not. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you confess. Living across the street from each other at school and seeing him in person almost every day for the past few months has spoiled you. 

“I miss you, too,” Jake mimics beside you. You’re in an Uber on the way to dinner with your parents, so you can’t commit much physical violence against him, but you do punch his shoulder.

Jay pipes up with, “Was that Jake’s voice I heard?”

You glare at your twin before popping out your earbuds to put the call on speakerphone. “Unfortunately.”

“Yo, what’s up, my man!” Jake cheers, shoving his face into view of the camera.

Jay and Jake chatter about some game they started playing with Heeseung, and you have to admit that you’re really happy about how well you and Jay have integrated into each other’s lives and communities. Of course, Jake had never been a big concern; secretly, you think he loves that his best friend is dating his sister. You’re two of his favorite people in the world, though he’ll only admit it when he’s four shots in. 

Soon, you approach the restaurant, and you have to say goodbye to Jay. He encourages you to keep sending videos of Jake falling into the ocean while surfing, which prompts a loud bout of complaining from Jake.

“You better not have shown that to anyone else,” Jake grumbles.

“Yunjin loved it,” you remark casually, just so you can laugh loudly when he jolts in his seat and turns to you with panicked eyes.

He whisper-shouts, “Why would you say that word? And why the fuck would you send it to her?” 

“What word— love? Oh my god, grow up. And she asked for updates on you.” Your eyebrows furrow. “I think she missed you, or something.”

“She did?” Jake beams; he’s entirely a different man now. “What else did she say about me?”

You point at him accusingly. “You have a lot of questions for someone who claims that they’re just buddies with my girl Jen. Which, again— grow up. Anyways, Jay, we have to go, but we’ll see you soon! Love you!”

“Love you, baby. And you, too, Jake,” Jay adds, before Jake can whine. 

A few days later, you’re finally reunited with Jay at the big New Year’s Eve party his family throws every year. The Parks always get to host the last party of the holiday season; you’re excited to experience it with Jay for the first time. 

An hour before the party is set to start, you let yourself into the Park estate and make your way surreptitiously to Jay’s room. His back is turned to you when you open the door slowly, and you stop for a moment to just drink in the sight of him, comfy and cozy in a cable-knit quarter zip sweater— the definition of huggable. Quickly, you sneak in and wrap your arms around his waist. “Hey, handsome.”

Jay cranes his neck around to look at you. “Hey! You’re here early.” 

You let go of him so he can turn around and hug you back properly. “Couldn’t wait to see you,” you confess. 

“Thank god.” He drops his head into the crook of your neck and inhales deeply. “Mm, the world is finally rightside up again.”

You laugh softly. “We are so dramatic.”

“Unavoidable for hot people,” Jay reasons. He pulls back up to wink at you; it’s so cheesy that you have to hold your hands up to his face to avoid looking at him. He laughs outright, and the return of that sound so close to your ears— as opposed to through the phone across an ocean— makes you smile uncontrollably wide.

“I really missed you,” you murmur. Finally, finally, he leans in and kisses you. It starts as something innocent and comforting, then quickly gets subsumed into fire and passion. You fist your hands into the collar of his sweater, hauling him closer to you with an enthusiasm that makes his fingers dig into your waist.

“Missed you so much. Missed this so much,” he says, right before sliding his tongue against yours. Soon, he transitions to sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, breathing a litany of love you, love you, love yous into you. The kiss is so deep it makes you go lightheaded, and when you separate for air, the sound of your mouth parting from his elicits a faint pop that makes you shudder. He’s considerate enough to back off briefly for you to catch your breath, though he doesn’t make it easy. “Pretty, so pretty,” he whispers against your cheek.

You have to close your eyes to calm yourself down. Right now, you think you could power a whole city with the desire that vibrates underneath your skin. “As much as I want to keep going,” you begin, already doomed with how hoarse your voice is, “I think you have to start getting ready.” The way your fingers pull at the zipper of his sweater is wholly unconvincing. 

He sighs and straightens up to rest his chin on the top of your head. “I should really learn how to reconfigure the time-space continuum. Time needs to stop when I’ve got my girl with me.”

You hum in agreement, curving around him slightly to scrape your teeth over the birthmark on his neck and grinning when he hisses into your ear. “You’re a smart guy; I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” you offer, continuing to tug at his zipper until you’re met with the end of the quarter zip. A frustrated sound escapes your throat at the obstacle.

“What’s your new year’s resolution?” Jay asks suddenly.

“What?” You blink hazy eyes at him; he has to pinch his own wrist behind your back to fight the urge to kiss you again.

“Just trying to kill the mood so I don’t go out there with a hard-on,” he explains, half bashful and half serious. “I have to make a speech, you know.”

“Thanks for coming, everyone! Hope you had a great last year, and here’s to an even better new year. There, speech done.” You withdraw your hands from his sweater to make jazz hands at him. “Wow, I’m such a speedy speechwriter! With all this extra time, we should keep going.”

“Brilliant,” he says dryly. “But you were right before; I do have to get ready.”

You frown and rest your cheek against his chest. “Past me was such a cockblock.”

Jay chuckles. “So, tell me, what is your new year’s resolution?”

Your eyes drift to the offending sweater in your peripheral vision. “Throw out all of your sweaters.”

“Very noble of you.”

“And get into grad school,” you say, more serious now.

“They’d be crazy not to take you for the Rhodes, baby.” Jay presses a final kiss to the top of your head. “I, um. I already asked to start in the London office of the company.”

You whip your head up so fast you almost give yourself whiplash. “Really?”

“Really. I want to be wherever you are.” He smiles so tenderly at you that your heart breaks and then mends itself back together in an instant; shattered and restored all at once by the strength of his devotion.

Sadly, there’s only so much time you can spend swooning at your boyfriend (Jay’s right; you do have to learn how to reconfigure the time-space continuum). He truly does have to give a speech soon, so he starts getting changed, pulling his sweater over his head and swearing when it gets stuck on the wire frame of his glasses. 

You laugh a little breathlessly at him, distracted by the strip of toned stomach revealed by his current position with his arms stuck above his head in his sweater. “My last new year’s resolution is to close the gyms,” you announce, finally moving into action to help him unspool the yarn of his sweater from his glasses.

“All of them?” His voice comes out muffled from inside his sweater before it’s over his head at last, and he’s shirtless in front of you. 

You drag your fingertips from the top of his waistband to the warm skin of his sternum. “Especially the ones you go to. You’re too tempting like this.”

He shivers at your touch but still manages to smirk when he says, “Just for you, doll.”

You groan. “Seriously, don’t call me that if you want to make it out there in time for your speech.”

“We should get rid of speeches, too,” he declares. He eyes the top of your fingers against his chest forlornly. “But I guess I’ll have to give the last one. Now, for real, tell me something extremely unsexy.”

You quip, “To help you get flaccid?”

He wrinkles his nose. “Excellent work; we’re headed in the right direction.” 

Your phone vibrates with a barrage of texts at that moment, which you check as Jay disappears into his walk-in closet to get dressed. It looks like your friends have arrived, and they’ve brought your outfit with them (you had come straight from the airport, dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt from high school). You tell Jay just as much, raising your voice slightly to be heard in the other room. “I’m gonna go get my stuff and change!”

He sticks his thumb out the door of the walk-in closet, pointing it upwards in assent. He assumes you saw it when he hears the door close, and then his phone goes off as well, inundated with a flood of texts from his newly arrived friends. 

hsm 3’s most underrated song: the boys are back (heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, jungwon, and sunoo)

jake: alright i have to k*ll myself

sunoo: why r u censoring all of a sudden

jake: i don’t want my fbi agent to take that seriously. although i do wanna kms

jungwon: why what happened

sunghoon: oh it’s HILARIOUS

jake: stfu

jake: so there’s eggnog being passed around right? and i see yunjin so i go to hand her a cup to be nice

heeseung: ~to be nice~

jake: kys

jake: anyways then i realize that the cup was really hot so i go and blow on her drink, like a fucking weirdo, and then i blow on SUNGHOON’S drink to make it seem less weird, except he’s drinking a HIGH NOON like an absolute idiot

sunghoon: hey i got the bartender to put it into a nice glass at least

sunoo: that’s my big (derogatory)

jay: perpetual bachelors jake and sunghoon! who’s surprised

sunghoon: NOT true i’m pretty sure the student government’s social media chair was flirting with me in the library before finals

jungwon: ??? wonyoung is a lesbian

jungwon: and she was just asking u to get out of the way bc u were spacing out in front of the printer

heeseung: L + me personally i’d kms

sunghoon: oh i know YOU are not talking

sunghoon: lee “the only time i feel the touch of a woman is when i go to yoga class at the university gym once a week” heeseung

heeseung: THE WOMAN WHO TEACHES IT IS HOT OKAY

sunghoon: oh heeseung mommy kink era?

heeseung: SHE IS MY AGE

sunoo: shouldn’t u be more concerned about breaking ur back every time ur there, grandpa?

heeseung: uncalled for wtf

heeseung: also tbh i wish SHE would break my back

jake: okay i’ve recovered from my earlier embarrassment. upon seeing what heeseung is texting, i’m thinking what i did wasn’t that weird

sunoo: bffr

jungwon: jake why don’t u just ask her out? instead of being emotionally constipated

jake: ew why would i ask her out i don’t want to be in a relationship that’s for pussies (respectfully) (i love women)

jungwon: yeah that’s definitely super emotionally mature of u

sunghoon: it’s 2023 pussy is a gender-neutral term

jay: you rly just say whatever the hell you want don’t you

sunoo: oh hey i see felix flirting with yunjin

jake: WHAT

jake: suddenly i have to go

sunoo: u r literally so pathetic

jay: btw i’m coming down now but if any of you see my gf before i do can you tell her she can change in my room

jake: gross

jay: GROW UP + stay single + kys

heeseung: GET HIS ASS

Jay’s idiot friends aside (he loves them so much), he actually is looking forward to seeing a bunch of his classmates and their families at tonight’s holiday party. Senior year seems to have crept up on him unannounced, and now he’s feeling slightly (a lot) sentimental about the idea of not living down the hall or at most across the campus from all the people who have made the last few years so formative (and entertaining as hell). 

He’s still thinking about how much he’s going to miss that place and those people when he hears your voice floating down from the top of the staircase. It sounds like you’re arguing with Kazuha about how many jello shots is too many for the after-party of the next phase of new member initiation at your sorority, which makes him chuckle quietly to himself. With four humanities and fine arts majors between the two of you, neither of you sound like you have the correct math. 

He opens his mouth, ready to give his two cents, but then he freezes at the sight of you descending the stairs. Vaguely, he processes the fact that Kazuha seems to have stopped arguing and even stopped coming down the stairs herself, just so she can give you two this moment.

This moment, which is making his brain short-circuit, because you are incandescent in a slinky, silvery dress that reflects all the candles that he’s now glad his parents made him light around the place. Countless points of light impart an otherworldly glow upon you, and you’re smiling at him; Jay thinks he must have saved the country in a past life.

When you reach him at the bottom of the stairs and he still hasn’t said anything, you tilt your head quizzically. “Jay? Everything alright?”

“You look like you just stepped out of a fairytale,” he breathes out. He moves on autopilot, bending at the waist as he takes your hand and kisses the top of it before straightening up to simply look at you some more.

“And right into the arms of my Prince Charming,” you respond, only half-joking. Right now, the dreamy look in his eyes makes you want to believe in happily ever after, as if it’s something he could forge with his own two hands. You kind of think he could, with the force of all his ardor.

Multiple phone cameras going off breaks the two of you out of your spell; you turn towards your nosy friends, who hold up variations of thumbs-ups and finger hearts. 

“Sorry, you guys are just too cute,” Yunjin says, not sounding sorry at all.

“Your parents would never forgive me if I didn’t get that on camera,” Sunghoon insists.

“Speaking of, I gotta go find them to make sure everything’s set.” Jay kisses your cheek. “See you later, Cinderella.” His fingers hold onto yours until the last second; your arm and his stretch out absurdly, as if you were parting for years, not minutes. 

“So dramatic,” Kazuha teases, joining you at the bottom of the staircase. 

“Unavoidable for hot people,” you explain wryly. You turn your attention to your gathered friends next. “I’m so glad you’re all here!”

“In 50 years, you could be hosting this party,” Sakura quips. Secretly, you hope it’s a lot sooner than that. 

“New Year’s Eve on Mars?” Jake suggests. 

Heeseung groans. “I’m scared of heights; can we not?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, dude, that’s not how space works!”

Half an hour passes happily like that, chatting and joking with some of your favorite people in the massive foyer. You don’t know exactly where Jay went off to, but the answer to that becomes clear when the music goes low and Jay clears his throat into the microphone set up at the front of the foyer. 

“Thanks for coming, everyone! Hope you had a great last year, and here’s to an even better new year.” Jay pauses to chuckle. “My girlfriend and I were joking earlier about me just saying that and calling it a night, but unfortunately for all of you, I am much more verbose than that.” Another pause for a light round of laughter from the gathered crowd. 

Jay works the audience like a pro as you watch with unbridled pride. A few minutes later, he winds down to the end of his prepared remarks, which you only know because he has asked you to proofread the speech weeks ago. You’re expecting him to wrap up with a final Happy New Year!, so you’re surprised to hear him keep going. 

“A couple of last things. To my parents, and everyone at the company, thank you for putting your trust in me.” Jay bows deeply. “I won’t let you down next year.” He straightens and looks right at you. “This year has been nothing short of wonderful. I’ve been so lucky my whole life, but the last few months have been particularly special to me. I’ve gotten to know people who I want to continue knowing for the rest of my life, who make me feel like my heart is too big for me, because I couldn’t possibly fit all of the kindness and love they give to me in the confines of my chest. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I do know that my life would be bereft without it.” Jay has to tear his eyes from yours because he knows he’s liable to cry if he sees you do so. “Bereft without you,” he continues, sweeping his gaze across the foyer. “All of you, who I’m so glad to call my friends and family. So, please stay healthy and happy this year, and I hope the new year treats you as well as this year has treated me. Happy New Year, everyone!”

Champagne glasses clink around you and people applaud, but all of it sounds far away. The only thing you can focus on is Jay, who’s making his way slowly through the throng of well-wishers to get to you.

When he’s finally in front of you, you have your misty eyes under control. He drops his hands to your waist and smiles gently. “Hi, pretty lady.”

“Hello, my favorite hopeless romantic.” Your palm goes to the sharp curve of his jaw. “You just had to go and say such sweet things. What’s gonna happen to my cool and unbothered reputation?”

“Right, your reputation.” He leans into your touch. “I can think of other ways to ruin your reputation,” he remarks, low and rough.

You roll your eyes, although you can’t stop your other hand from curling into the lapel of his suit jacket. “Romantic and horny! Duality of man.” 

“I meant what I said, you know.” His eyes soften at you. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me this year. Maybe ever. I have a lot of great people in my life, but only one you.”

“I know. You always mean what you say, and I love that about you.” You lean in to press a quick kiss to his mouth. He chases after you, tipping your chin up with his hand to kiss you deeper. Sadly, it doesn’t last for too long; you’re both aware that your friends and their parents are nearby.

But later, Jay makes sure to kiss you from this year into the next one, and you hope that you never forget what it feels like— fireworks exploding above your head and in your veins, lighting you up from within. Radiant, in the glow of someone who loves and is loved.

girlbossing soooooooo close to the sun (you, yunjin, chaewon, kazuha, and sakura)

yunjin: do u think it’d be weird if i got jake something for valentine’s day

you: yes extremely

sakura: don’t ask me i’m gay

yunjin: ???

yunjin: okay thx guys this was super helpful!

chaewon: i thought you weren’t dating?

yunjin: WE MIGHT AS WELL BE. i’m sick of waiting for him to actually ask me out

you: jokes aside, i think he’s really into you, like genuinely. but his head is so far up his ass he will never make the first move

sakura: boooooo emotionally repressed playboy how cliche

kazuha: omg u should try to do something romantic

yunjin: absolutely not i can’t be a SIMP

sakura: boooooo emotionally repressed maneater how cliche

yunjin: WHATEVER

yunjin: more importantly, what are we doing for galentine’s!!!!

kazuha: spa day i thought?

you: yes but i have to leave a little early :(( sorry ladies the community kitchen is doing a pre-valentine’s day dinner and jay and i are signed up to help

chaewon: i can’t even be mad at you that is SO CUTE

Jay gets sick in the week leading up to Valentine’s day, which puts a spanner in the works of his grand plans for your first Valentine’s together. You tell him that it’s not a big deal and he should just focus on resting and getting better, but that doesn’t stop him from moping about it. 

mother is mothering (you, niki, and jungwon)

you: can i just say that this gc name is not helping to put to rest the joke that jay and i are ur parents

you: also i Don’t think u guys know what this phrase means…

you: but anyways what’s up… children

niki: pleaseeeeee fix jay hyung

jungwon: fr we’re desperate

jungwon: he’s been playing sad john mayer songs for like three days straight I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE

niki: he called the coffee shop yesterday to see if we could set up a valentine’s day surprise for u

niki: we can’t, so i’m not ruining the surprise

niki: but he literally had such detailed plans for the surprise like WE R JUST PART-TIMERS

you: omg… my bf is so cute :(

jungwon: that is SO not the point actually that’s like the exact opposite of the point

you: dw i was gonna come over today after the community kitchen’s pre-valentine’s day dinner anyways

jungwon: THANK GOD

niki: YAY can u ask jay to help me with research material for my history paper btw

you: ask him urself?

niki: i’m scared he’s going to rope me into some other crazy plan to make it up to u for ruining ur valentine’s day plans

niki: which sounds like a HIM problem??? why is he getting ME, a CHILD, involved

you: oh so ur a child now but not when u want to sneak into frat parties

jungwon: omg SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK

you: jungwon i know ur the one who helps him sneak in

jungwon: haha. love u mom :)

you: IM NOT UR MOM

you: btw i’m bringing back extra vegetables from the community kitchen and i expect u to eat them! jay mentioned u were stressed lately and not eating well

jungwon: okay ty… not-mom

It’s almost 10pm by the time you get to the frat house, bundled in your winter coat and weighed down with containers of food. You leave one in the fridge, labeled with a note that says “for jungwon— eat this or niki will forever be taller than you”. You take everything else with you to Jay’s room, pausing at the door when you realize you don’t even know if he’ll be awake or if he’s still sleeping off his illness.

The door swings open before you have the chance to knock, and you’re met with the sight of Jay in a bathrobe, shower caddy in hand. “I must be hallucinating,” he mutters. 

You hold back a laugh. “Nope, you’re still in the land of the lucid. I brought you some food, and I figured we could watch something while we eat. Go shower; I’ll set up.” 

Jay blinks rapidly. “Oh my god, you’re really here?” He drops the shower caddy to the floor carelessly, moving forward to hug you before he halts abruptly, inches away from you. “Wait, no, you shouldn’t be here. I don’t want you to get sick, too.”

“It’s been, like, five days. I don’t think you’re contagious anymore,” you argue, sidling past him to drop your stuff into his room.

“Really?” The hopefulness in his voice makes your heart melt.

“Really. I’ll ask Heeseung to ask his special friend to confirm, if that will make you feel better,” you offer.

Jay's eyebrows furrow. “We should probably stop calling her that, but yes, that would make me feel better. Ask while I shower, but seriously, I’m not touching you if she says no.” 

You salute him. “On it, captain.” Heeseung’s special friend is the girl who teaches one of the yoga classes at the university gym, and she’s also a nursing student. She has a name, but Heeseung refuses to tell any of you what it is. Truthfully, it wouldn’t be hard to look her up, but you think it’s kind of cute how nervous Heeseung is about whatever liminal space he’s in with her.

you: hey can u ask the love of ur life if it’s okay for me to be with jay rn?

heeseung: first of all DONT CALL HER THAT second of all why tf would she have an opinion on that

you: i wouldn’t have to call her that if u would tell us HER NAME

you: and jay came down w/ that nasty virus like five days ago remember

heeseung: oh my goddddd yeah he wouldn’t stop whining about how his valentine’s day plans were ruined

you: ur special friend is in nursing right? so can u ask her

heeseung: i’m starting to think i should tell u her name just so u stop coming up with new ways to refer to her

you: that’s what I'M saying

heeseung: but yeah sure anything to get jay to stop being so annoying

you: thank uuuuu i’ll leave u some cookies in the kitchen so give some to her okay?

heeseung: omfg u made COOKIES i am so glad jay is dating u

Ten minutes later, Heeseung texts to let you know that you’re probably in the clear. More specifically, he says that his friend says it’s ultimately best practice to stay away from Jay for another couple of days, but she thinks the two of you are so cute and she gets why you’d want to be with him, and you’re outside of the most contagious window now, anyways. 

You figure that’s close enough to a yes, which is what you tell Jay when he returns from his shower. He’s at your side in an instant, hugging you like his life depends on it. “I’m sorry,” he whispers eventually.

“What on earth for?” 

“Our first Valentine’s is going to be so lame, just because I got sick.” He sighs deeply. “I wanted to make it special for you, especially because you’re always running around helping everyone, and instead you’re here, taking care of me.”

“Jay.” You pull back from his chest to look at him. “Nothing is lame, and nothing is ruined, okay? It’s literally just a day. And you always make me feel special. Being with you is like— ahem.” You cringe at the words that are about to come out of your mouth; Jay is always effusive and free-wheeling with his declarations of affection towards you, but it doesn’t come as easily to you. The way you feel about him makes you want to try, though. “Being with you is like Valentine’s Day every day.”

He smiles gently at you, one dimple carving a crescent into his left cheek. “You deserve it, baby. And even if you didn’t, I’d still want to give that to you.”

The two of you stand like that for a while, swaying underneath the unattractive lighting in Jay’s room. His hair starts to drip onto your shoulder, though, and you remember that you need to go back down to the kitchen to set aside the cookies you promised Heeseung.

“Why does Heeseung get to have some of the cookies you made for me?” Jay pouts.

“Troll bridge toll I felt compelled to pay, all because you wanted a second medical opinion,” you respond dryly.

“I’m supposed to believe you were the first? And I’m telling Heeseung you called him a troll.”

“Keep that up and you won’t be getting any cookies, Park.” 

Of course, you feed him a cookie as soon as you’re back in his room. Jay has changed into his pajamas while you were away, and he points to another set he’s laid out for you after he’s done eating the cookie. Once you get changed, you settle on the rug in front of Jay’s bed and start an obscure history documentary together while eating the food you brought him. You warn him that it won’t be as good as what he makes (you are a far better baker than you are a cook). Undeterred, he makes an exaggerated effort to fawn over every dish and praise your skills.

Afterwards, you sit on the edge of his bed and let him lean his head on your lap as you blow dry his hair. “I heard you were being a pain in the ass this week about Valentine’s Day,” you mention. 

“That… is a distinct possibility, for sure.”

“Seriously, I think you scared away all of Niki’s coworkers. He wants your help with research for his history paper, by the way. Oh, that reminds me— what’s the name of your group chat with Niki and Jungwon?”

Jay grimaces. “Glucose father slay.”

You suppress a snort. “That’s… creative, if unsubtle.”

He hums contentedly from the just-right warmth of the hairdryer and the just-right softness of your hands. “We’ll get to have lots of Valentine’s Days together, right?”

"Of course, baby."

When it hits midnight, you’re curled up together in his bed, with his laptop still playing the credits of the history documentary. You enter February 14th like that, tucked under his chin, exactly where you want to be.

On one of the first randomly hot days that pop up in late March before the weather actually gets warmer, you’re holed up in the library, eyes aching after staring at the tiny text in ancient manuscripts for too long and shivering in the temperature-controlled special collections section of the library. While the rest of your friends are out at the college’s golf course enjoying the warm weather at a joint charity tournament, you’re stuck here, beholden to the block in your calendar which says “manuscript time :/”. The rare manuscripts you need for your thesis are only available to be looked at during certain times, but today’s research session has proven to be less than fruitful, given how often your eyes wander to the door to the exit and how empty your notes are.

You can feel yourself dozing off for the umpteenth time when suddenly, warm hands land on top of your shoulders, and a smooth voice murmurs in your ear, “Working hard or hardly working, Cinderella?”

Jay. You turn your head to meet his gaze; crescents of affection reflect back at you. “How’d you get in here?” Appointments are usually required for the rare manuscripts room.

He flashes you a smirk. “Charmed the librarian.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you pulled with the 40-and-up demographic like that.”

“Yeah, I told her I missed my girlfriend so much I’d cry if I couldn’t see her today.” He drops a kiss to your cheek, then maneuvers the chair next to you sideways and backwards so he can sit as close to you as possible. He crosses his arms on top of the back of the chair and rests his chin against his arms to stare at you, soft and beckoning. “You look like you want to leave.”

You sigh and turn fully sideways towards him, letting his long legs bracket yours while your knees push up against the back of his chair. “You look like a reason to leave,” you admit. It comes out breathy in a way that you hadn’t intended, but who can blame you— Jay is dressed for the golf tournament in a navy blue polo and crisp white slacks, and as always, his clothes fit like they were made for him. 

In the back of your mind, you make a note to ask where he gets his tailoring done. In the front of your mind, your attention roams from the clean line of his shirt sleeves against his biceps, to the inviting curve of his mouth, to the planes of his chest that peek out behind the top two undone buttons of his shirt. All these months later, looking at him still hasn’t gotten old; truthfully, you don’t think it ever will.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jay inquires, peering closer at you with a sly grin on his face.

“Like you have to ask,” you grumble, reaching out to pinch his cheek in retaliation for the teasing question.

He grabs your hand before it reaches him and gently bites the tip of your index finger, laughing when you make an offended face and pull your hand back. “C’mon, let’s get out of here, yeah? We should at least make an appearance at the tournament we organized.”

You glance back at the heavy tomes you’ve pulled out today— pages and pages of dense Middle English to get through. Then, you look at Jay, who has chosen that moment to skate his fingertips up and down the top of your right thigh. The decision is almost comically easy to make. “Yeah, fuck this. Let’s go.” 

You dutifully return your books and say a polite goodbye to the librarian, who coos at you both. Jay waves your joined hands at her. On your way out to the main section of the library, goosebumps form on your arms from the change in temperature: arctic vortex to plain old frigid, both of which are wholly inhospitable environments for the sleeveless golf dress you’d worn today in hopes of eventually getting to the tournament. 

“Cold?” Jay halts you both and sweeps his hands across your shoulders and down to your wrists, frowning at the chill he encounters on your skin. Normally, he’d offer you his jacket or sweater or something, but he just has the shirt on his back today. “This won’t do,” he murmurs, and then he’s pulling you in the direction of the secluded stacks.

It’s dark and shadowy there, with not a single soul occupying any of the carrel desks spaced in between the rows of books. Your heartbeat picks up despite yourself; you think you have a good idea of where this is going. This is also something that hasn’t gotten old yet and likely never will. “You know, I’ve always thought it would be kind of hot to hook up in a library,” you comment.

Jay trips over air, then quickly rights himself and shakes his head as if to clear it before looking at you again. “You would, you nerd,” he says, but it comes out low and contemplative. 

As soon as you reach the carrel desk located in the most isolated corner of the stacks, he brings his hands to your waist and lifts you up to sit on top of the desk. Happily, you hook your ankles behind his legs and draw him in to stand between yours. “You can’t tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

“I just wanted to kiss you for a bit, so you could warm up,” Jay insists. He leans in closer, until your chests are pressed up against each other. “But now that we’re here…” 

“Now that we’re here,” you agree. Then you’re tilting forward to kiss him, and the tension in your body from a long morning at the library dissipates into the heat of his mouth and the softness of his hair.

Jay kisses you long and luxuriously, like he was born to do nothing but stand around and kiss you. “You did so well with planning the tournament,” he tells you in between kisses, smothering the words against your mouth. 

“You did, too,” you reply, dispensing the compliment in airy gasps against his ear as he moves down to your neck, feathering open-mouthed kisses against the skin there. A whimper escapes from your throat when he bites down at the juncture of your neck and your clavicle, transforming into a breathy moan as he soothes over the sting with his tongue. His name slips out of your mouth in a dragged-out whine: “Jongseong.” 

He shudders against you. “Warn a guy before you do that, will you? I don’t actually want to come in my pants in the library.”

You giggle, tugging his head back so you can look at him. You’re met with shiny lips, slow-blinking eyes that drag up and down your body, and tousled hair, messed up from Jay’s meticulous styling by your wandering hands. Temptation, personified. “Fuck,” you breathe out. “What if I do?”

“You’re not wearing pants,” Jay points out cheekily. His demeanor switches to sultry in an instant when he presses down on your bottom lip with his thumb, and he groans when your tongue darts out over it. “God, you’re so hot. C’mere, doll, let me sort you out.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re slipping out of the back door of the library and into the parking lot. You shoot off a quick text to Yunjin, asking her to hold down the fort for a little while longer at the tournament, and then Jay is tugging you into the backseat of his car with an urgency that makes your heart pound. Now, you get to sort him out, and it’s so much better than staring at old books.

yunjin: what is taking so long i sent jay to get u like 45 minutes ago

you: sorry be there in a bit love you babe!

yunjin: woooooooooow remember when i said i would never betray u for dick

yunjin: guess u DO NOT FEEL THE SAME

yunjin: ah well have fun don’t do anything i wouldn’t ;)

to all the boys i’ve fake-dated before (you, sunghoon, yeonjun, chan, vernon, mark, and 5 others)

you: were any of you fuckers going to tell me that jay’s birthday is TOMORROW?!

you: help!!!!! what do i get for him!!!!!

sunghoon: believe me that man wakes up every day thanking god that ur his gf. u don’t need to get him anything

you: as much as i appreciate the reporting of his simp behavior, i am IN A PANIC his birthday is in 12 hours why the fuck didn’t anyone say anything sooner?!?!

vernon: i’m gifting him a new speaker for the basement

chan: bro you’re getting that gift for ALL of us bc you BROKE the speaker in the basement

vernon: and jay is one of the many recipients of that gift!

you: FOCUS on me and MY problem please

mark: yooooo u could write him a song? i still owe u a favor so i’d be down to help

you: and make him listen to me perform it? i’m trying to keep this relationship going, not obliterate it

yeonjun: mans has one single move in his arsenal

mark: HEY it worked out pretty well for me

yeonjun: only bc u had like a million ppl helping u

sunghoon: i got jay tickets to that japanese singer he likes

you: FUCK that’s such a good idea why didn’t i think of that

sunghoon: bc u didn’t know his birthday was coming up

you: thanks genius

sunghoon: but anyways jay never makes a big deal out of his birthday

sunghoon: it’s mostly like a sentimental thing for his parents bc they tried for so long to have him

vernon: strictly speaking, they were trying to have ANY of the sperm inseminate ANY of the eggs so like it didn’t have to be him specifically

mark: dude wtf

chan: i’m sure jay will love whatever you get for him! maybe you could paint or draw something for him?

you: okay yes yes i can bang something out real quick in the studio 

vernon: that’s what she said

yeonjun: this is why ur still single

you: the sperm and egg comment didn’t give it away?

vernon: guys stop ganging up on me wtf

you: okay thank you ONLY to chan the rest of you were useless

you: chan u could start a business. like a gift-giving idea business

mark: like santa claus but without the actual gifts?

yeonjun: ghost santa claus

chan: none of you should ever be allowed to start a business

It’s 5am by the time you’re finished in the studio, and you know your sleep cycle is going to be all sorts of messed up for the next few days, but it’s a small price to pay so you can slide into Jay’s bed and mold yourself against his body, knowing that your painting of the scene of your first date is leaning safely against the wall across from you. 

Unfortunately, the swift arrival of sunrise and birds chirping outside of Jay’s window leave you unable to fall asleep (not to mention the energy drink you’d chugged at 2am). You give up on it quickly, comforted by the fact that you don’t have any classes today and can afford to sleep in when your body eventually gives out on you. 

Staring at Jay is not an unenjoyable way to pass the time, so that’s what you do. Sleep smoothes out all the muscles in his face, but the sharp angles of the underlying bone structure turn him into marble; idly, you wonder how many sculptors would kill to be able to craft something this beautiful, this timeless and exquisite. You’ve tried to sketch or paint Jay multiple times yourself, and you’re still trying (that senior portfolio is going to be the death of you), but to date, you’ve been left unsatisfied. Something about Jay is just too expressive, too lively, too attentive; you haven’t been able to nail down the exact way he moves through the world, much less the way he looks at you like nothing else exists. There’s so much love to give in those steady hands, and so many meanings to divine in those familiar eyes—

Oh.

Jay’s eyes have flipped open, displaying his least endearing habit: sleeping with his eyes open. It unnerves you to no end, even though it makes him look kind of silly, so you have to flip around with a small grin on your face. “You’re lucky I love you so much,” you whisper, mostly to yourself.

His arm tightens around your waist. “Tell me something I don’t know.” The words come out slightly slurred, and the movement of his lips against the back of your neck makes you shiver. 

You flip back around to meet his now closed eyes. “You’re awake?” Jay usually sleeps like the dead.

“I’m trying really hard not to be,” he drawls. Eyes still closed, he tugs you closer to press his lips to your forehead. “Go to sleep, doll.”

You hum tunelessly and fidget with the pendant of his necklace. “Happy birthday, Jongseong.” You can feel his lips curve into a smile against your skin, but you’re quick to nip that in the bud. “Or should I say… traitor? Why didn’t you tell me your birthday was coming up? I had to find out from Jungwon.”

“Typical mama’s boy.”

You giggle, even as you admonish him with: “Seriously, that joke needs to die. One of Riki’s coworkers actually thinks I’m his mom, and I just have a really good Botox supplier.”

Jay’s chest rumbles in amusement underneath your ear. Afterwards, it’s quiet for a long moment before he finally opens his eyes to peer blearily at you. “Are you upset I didn’t tell you about my birthday?”

You give him a tiny shrug. “Just curious, I guess. Plenty of people don’t like to celebrate their birthdays. Sunghoon said it’s usually more of a thing for your parents than it is for you.”

“Yeah, that’s about right.” Jay rubs his thumb over your cheek. “I’m spending the day with them, actually. We go to the same place for brunch every year, and then we just kind of walk around until dinner, which I’ve been cooking for the past couple of years.”

You smile automatically at the thought of his parents. They adore you, and the feeling is mutual— how could it not be? 

Jay’s thumb halts its movements as something occurs to him. “Well, hey, do you wanna come with us?” 

Quickly, you shake your head. You can spot Jay’s Mr. Nice Guy gestures from a mile away. “Nah, you should keep up your tradition with your parents. We’re still getting lunch with them this weekend, right? So I’ll get to see them soon, anyways.”

“My mom said she loves the insoles you sent her, by the way.”

“Right? Super comfortable. I can stay on my feet in the studio all day in those.” Just then, you’re hit by a yawn. “I guess I did the equivalent of a full day last night.”

Suddenly, Jay sits up straight, making you whine about the loss of coziness. “Wait, yeah, why are you here so early? Not that I don’t love waking up next to you, because I really do, but you weren’t here last night, and… oh my god.” He cuts himself off when he spots the painting against his wall.

You sit up as well. “Don’t freak out,” you begin. “I had fun making it, okay? And I don’t have class today so I can sleep alllllll day and if you’re not tired after dinner we can hang out afterwards, and seriously, Jay, light of my life, apple of my eye, etcetera, etcetera— let me do something nice for you without you feeling guilty about it, okay?” You draw in a deep breath. “I know I’m, like, afflicted with a chronic need to be helpful, but c’mon. Pot, kettle.” You point to yourself and then to him. “I love that you’re humble and kind and you know how lucky you are, but there’s nothing… to prove. You hear me? Just because you’ve had a good life doesn’t mean you have to give 110% of yourself to everyone else to deserve it. Please don’t make yourself feel bad because you get to take something from me for once instead of giving.” At the end of your rant, you blink in surprise at yourself. “Sorry, I don’t know when that turned into a lecture. All I’m saying is that you told me once that you’d want to give me Valentine’s Day every day, even if I didn’t deserve it, and I want to give that to you, too.”

Jay’s eyes flick between you and the painting and back to you, staring at you like he’s never seen you before. He’s speechless for so long that you count to 33 in your head in Mississippis that are definitely longer than one second. Finally, he crushes you to his chest in a hug that has your arms flailing around him with the force of it. “I feel like you just crawled into my head,” he says against your ear.

You make a face that he can’t see. “Didn’t need that visual in my head, but okay, baby.”

“I mean… I’m just feeling very perceived; that’s all. And I don’t really have anything else to say except that I love you so much, and thank you, and you’re my favorite person in the world.” He sniffles, and then preempts you with a, “Shut up.”

“Noooooo, I made you cry,” you coo at him, leaning back in his hold to swipe under his eyes with your thumbs. As you continue to fuss over him and he pretends to bite at your fingers, he hopes you know just how much he’s affected by your words and just how much you mean to him. Golden boy Park Jongseong, the prodigal son, the miracle child— he doesn’t think it could fairly be called a burden, because how could it be a burden to be so lucky, to be so loved, to have never truly suffered? But somehow, you get it. Maybe because you’re cut from the same self-sacrificing cloth, or maybe because you just understand him at an atomic level, but you get it. You get that he has dedicated his life to deserving his life in the first place; you get that he tries so hard, all the time, because he wants to be worthy of what he’s been given; you get that he gives, and gives, and gives, and he never wants to take, because he feels like he hasn’t done enough to pay back the gifts with which he was born, let alone take anything else from this world. And here you are, giving him your heart on his birthday— a day he doesn't think is anything special except for the joy it gives his parents— because you love him. Because you're just glad that you were born in the same timeline. He has never dared to ask for a gift like this.

Pathetically, all that he can get out is a simple, “I love the painting, by the way.” He nudges your nose with his. “I’m going to have it framed for our place after we graduate.”

“Our place?”

“Oh, yeah.” He clears his throat awkwardly. “I guess this is me asking. Do you want to live with me next year? Wherever it is that we end up. It would be, you know, economical.”

“Right, because we totally didn’t just have a conversation about your hang-ups with being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. And mine, too, I guess.”

Jay tsks at you. “Okay, or maybe I just want to wake up next to you every day. And make you food when you forget to eat, and listen to your horrible true crime podcasts while we clean up around the place, and hold your hair when you get sick because you forgot to take your Lactaid, and make sweet, sweet love to you every night—”

“Okay, okay, stop!” You’re laughing uncontrollably now, putting your hands up to stop Jay and the obnoxious kissy-face he’s making from coming any closer to you. “I didn’t need that much convincing, although I’m not sure how effective your convincing is when you’re just listing my bad habits, Mr. I-Sleep-With-My-Eyes-Open.”

“Yeah, but aren’t I lucky that you love me so much?” Jay smirks at you before tackling you down into his bed.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” you repeat to him. Sunlight slants in through the window behind his head, haloing him in a light so ethereal that you could be convinced the sun shines just for him. Like this, your words fade away from you, until all you’re left with is a quiet, heartfelt, “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll live with you after we graduate.” Softly, you stroke through the hair at his nape. “Stop wondering, by the way.”

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Wondering what?”

You reach up to smooth away the crease in his brow. “Wondering if you’re allowed to be this happy. I just told you, like, a million times. You are. The heavens have decreed that Park Jongseong shall be happy for as long as he lives, and a long time after that.” Dramatically, you tap each of his shoulders, as if you’re knighting him. “It is thus decided.”

Jay swoops down and plants a chaste peck on your lips. “Well, since it’s thus decided. Let me add something to that decree, though: I’m going to make you happy for as long as I live, and a long time after that,” he promises. 

And you know he will.

(London is overcast and dreary when you touch down at Heathrow; typical, for a mid-September day. You and Jay still carry tans from a summer of island-hopping around Asia and the Mediterranean, but you’re sure those will fade soon. Still, there’s nothing you can complain about when Jay’s arm is snug around your waist and he looks like a dream in a light wool coat and admittedly unnecessary sunglasses.

You tease him about the sunglasses all the way to the doorstep of your new, shared apartment. But then he kisses you across the threshold and whispers about how much he loves you and how excited he is to be with you for the rest of his life, and you are so, so happy. Unbelievably happy. Beautifully happy. 

Happy, forevermore. This, the heavens have decreed.)

[ldhluvr]

☆ drunk on you — james x reader

info: gn!reader. can be interpreted as friends to lovers, but there isn't any real trope involved, so you can imagine whatever relationship you want. there's no actual alcohol in here, but firewhisky is mentioned (idk if i needed to bring that up.) also i use parentheses like four times which may be annoying idk.

“i love you.”

your voice rings in james’s ears for hours after your confession. as he walks from class to class, people call out his name, worried about how disoriented he looks. he walks like he’s drunk, and in a way he is – he’s drunk on you. (the second he thinks that, he sees a mental image of you slapping him for how cringy that thought was.)

he looks so drunk that when he enters his potions class (the one where you conveniently sit next to him), slughorn pulls him aside, asking him if he’s had any firewhisky. james simply responds with a dopey smile, and slughorn, unable to detect or smell anything unusual, lets him go back to his seat.

unlike james’s lovestruck self, you remain in your seat, silent and cold. while your words have been playing nonstop in james’s head, he’s never voiced his thoughts on your confession with you. 

“did you drink before coming here?” you ask with a grimace. you realize you tend to be rather mean when you’re hurt.

his smile widens once you speak to him, but he seems to recognize what you’ve asked and “sobers up.”

“what? oh, uh, no. why would i drink before class?” james starts smiling again and moves closer to you. you bite your lip to hide your reaction to his proximity, but james catches it, and his eyes train on your mouth.

“wh-what are you doing? you’re acting like you’re drunk. can you please just open your textbook?” you forget your bashfulness and become exasperated at the way he’s acting.

he seems to remember where he is and cracks open the potion book to the potion you’re meant to make: draught of the living dead.

as you both work on the potion, there are many moments where you catch james unashamedly staring at you. he’s also touching you more than usual, and throughout the process of the potion’s creation, there have been at least two times when you both are close enough to kiss.

you successfully brew the potion, and slughorn brings everyone’s attention to your well-made potion (which brings a scowl to snape’s face, making you quite proud of yourself). after class, james follows behind you like a little puppy.

you drag him to a more secluded part of the floor, and when you stop and look at him, there’s a smirk on his face. “wanted to get me alone, huh?”

“can you not do this?” you plead. james frowns and looks confused. “can you not lead me on? i mean, i told you that i love you and you didn’t say anything, you just walked off, and now you’re being all weird and clingy and whatnot and if you’re doing this to screw with me, you’re much worse than i thought.”

realization hits james like a semi-truck. “oh my god, [y/n], i’m so sorry. i completely forgot to respond, i was just so— so happy when you told me that i forgot to respond and skipped away or whatever. i love you, i really do. been in love with you since third year.” his hand reaches to cup your cheeks and you feel yourself melt at his touch. his thumb rubs your cheek, and he chuckles as he feels them heat up. “god, i’ve been waiting to call you my partner for ages now.”

“you haven’t asked me to be your partner yet, james.”

“oh, right.” he gets down on one knee, and you feel extremely embarrassed even though no one else is remotely near you two. “[y/n] [y/l/n] will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my partner? and go on dates with me and shit?” he holds his hands in front of him as if he’s holding a ring.

you laugh and roll your eyes. you grab the hands he’s holding out to lift him up. he gets up with a groan and laughs too. as he stretches, he looks down at you with a big grin. you cup his cheeks and pull him down to finally bring his lips to yours.

[traveller-player-block-tales-au]

Oh good! It seems spawning a pizza for you did work! I was a little worried the magic wouldn't function as intended, glad to see thats not the case.

Craft is not something I'm all too familiar with, though I do have some knowledge on it. While it's true that craft doesn't exist in the universe you currently occupy, rocks sure still do! So I'd be cautious about the rogue falling stone.

Maybe stay away from Roblox HQ... Last I checked the concrete of the building was falling apart. Wouldn't want you getting squashed like a bug now, spawndust~!

Though, if you want confirmation about the state of craft, perhaps you can ask those two rascals about it? You could probably find a way to make it seem casual and unsuspicious, right?

((Miiight change it later, but I figured since they're an alternate verson of Loop, Re would probably give Syphus a nickname. So spawndust it is! They have a separate nickname for their own traveler lol. Also added an extra pair of parentheses for ooc to lessen any potential confusion. Still in the process of working on my own blog unfortunately, but as long as you don't mind I'll be spilling lore tidbits through Re's asks for now hehe))

-Re

• (The pizza was great!)

• (Also, ominous warning about rocks aren't needed. The universe already sent one.)

• (What IS a sentient statue even??)

• (They should ask Red and Blue about craft. They should know basic knowledge about it if it exists in this world.)

• (But how should they ask...)

• "Hey, wanna see a magic trick?"

▪ "Not really."

• (This is going fantastic.)

• "And why not?"

▪ "Last time you did a magic trick our uncle almost died."

• (kill them now please.)

• (Atleast there's no real malice against them now. Small victories... and the magic of pizza.)

• "Well this one's isn't an attack, so..."

[Syphus used... Spark-tastic.]

• (yeah... That one's gonna need a better name if they used it ever again.)

• (Tiny spark form and dissapear above their hands, giving a tiny light show with a pop–pop–pop. Sometimes the take the form of a star, sometimes they don't. The children seem mildly interested.)

• "Neat, eh?"

▪ "I guess."

• (So enthousiastic.)

• "How much do you know about magic?"

▪ "There are magic swords??"

▪ "Wizard can cast it??"

• (at the same time. Wow. Though that reveals some things)

• (... Some things they could already gather from the voices...)

• "Do you two know anywhere I could learn more about magic?"

• (Learning from the ones who practice it will be best... Also, Noobador will wake soon. They need something to do after this. They don't think Noobador will be very accepting of them staying with them.)

▪ "Maybe one of the administrators?"

▪ "Maybe a Wizard from Blackrock castle?"

• (Two choices. Three if they beg hard enough to noobador)

• "Where are each of those things?"

▪ "Shedlesky is one of them. He works in Roblox HQ WEST of here"

▪ "I think Blackrock has a staff of kitchen wizards, the castle is to the EAST of here."

• (How kind of them to keep talking at once. So either they go east or west... Both give of aura's of certain deaths for some reason...)

First | << previous | next >>

//OOC: OoOoOo a poll! They're asking you as to where to go. Go east, or west, or something else? Be crazy and go North? I don't think there is anything of note up North but nothing is stopping them from going there

... With that said please don't suggest North.

[strawberryfaced]

Number 1 and 4 from the weird asks pleasss ^_^

from this ask game

HI DEAR FRIEND!!!!!

1: who is your comfort character? I LOVE THIS QUESTION BECAUSE I HAVE SOOOOO MANY. essentially any other character from the owl house I think. more specifically I’d say Eda, Luz, and King. very basic answer sorry i think u already expected this as I am very vocal about my deep love for these characters…..

also i find that with the owl house i relate to every single character in at least one way and that makes it all the more Comfort i think. mostly i feel i relate to the big 4 (Luz, Amity, Gus and Willow) (but also I relate to Hunter and VEE SO SO MUCH) (and king and hooty) (insert more parentheses with everyone’s names) but like. if u asked me i could tell u at least one way i feel connected to every and each the owl house character.

but also if we r talking about comfort i think that a lotttttt of the comfort area i get in the show is the relationships between those characters. if i’m in the right headspace and someone mentions ANYTHING about Eda Luz and King’s relationship i will start crying being soooo serious……… this show kinda changed my whole whole perspective on relationships and friendships and familial dynamics (especially tropes like found family and mentor/parent like figures!!!!!) and i just feel. so. comforted by that too in some weird way

2: what cryptyd do you believe in?

OOH THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION. okay 2 be honest with u friend. i am not that knowledgable about cryptyds which is a bit ironic considering my love for things like fantasy and mythology and folk shit etc etc but unfortunately. i only really know of the basic ones like the lochness monster bigfoot etc. and i don’t really have a strong stance on whether they’re real or not. i think that definitely in some sense in some other worlds they definitely exist in at least one of those but i don’t know man. i feel like i would like to believe they are real just because i would like to believe in something so magical and otherworldly and special to this earth that no camera could capture or no phone could video. or maybe that the humans that have seen them or even captured them on tape appreciate/respect their privacy. because that makes it even more magical i guess. i like to know that there are humans like that out there. but then there is again. my logical side who needs evidence in order to believe something. but yeah. i will say i do believe that cryptyds are real (in general because i do not know enough specifics about them to separate them 🥲) in some vague sense.

[almost-correct-quotes]

lyrics that remind me of dion and kane / their plotline <3

if there's no character specified it's either about them together or the plotline in general

it's tumblr, so the colors are messed up but you get what im trying to do its supposed to be aesthetic

Dion: Turn and Go - {Parentheses}

When the night is turning sour Due to the lateness of the hour Doesn't mean it has to end Just turn and go You just need a change of scene Somewhere happy, somewhere green You don't have to be alone Just turn and go

I announce that I am leaving, no one seems to care No one even takes a second glance But I am with the people that I love the most And that's always more fun without a plan

Dion: Lying in the Middle - Spence Hood

Why should I make up my mind Just to change it overnight What a magnificent way to waste my time You know I would rather live my life Rife with riddles Lying in the middle of the Kinsey scale The world’s a buffet and I came to get my fill

Dion: Doing This Again! - Bears in Trees

I hope I'll be resilient I hope to be brave in the face of another family cancer My mother 'cites a rosary downstairs But lord, these blessed words fail me

Love Takes Time - Philip Labes

It takes more than some roses, for roots to intertwine To open up the doors to your interior design Sneaking in the baggage, that we couldn't leave behind

Saint Bernard - Lincoln

When I'm dead, I won't join their ranks 'Cause they are both holy and free (…) Make me love myself, so that I might love you Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to God When I said it, it was true

Paul Revere - Noah Kahan

One day, I'm gonna cut it clear Ride like Paul Revere And, when they ask me who I am I'll say, "I'm not from around here"

I'll leave before the road crew's out Before those joggers, looking way too proud And I'll turn up the music and I'll forget Until it ends, that I'm not ready to let go yet

How I Survived Bobby Mackey's Personal Hell - Lincoln

Well, if there’s one thing that I'm sure of It’s that I think too much about shit that doesn’t matter And I don’t think enough about things that make a difference

You left some holes in the plotline I left some holes in your clothes And we can argue semantics over who left who first

Dion: Downhill - Lincoln

I went downhill at such steep incline That my rearview mirror showed me only the sky And I laughed about it all night

And I said “Hey man, isn’t it poetic That the sky is what we leave behind?” Because I was born into the world on a silken cloud And I got bored of the world before I hit the ground

From Eden - Hozier

Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, I should know

There's something broken about this But I might be hoping about this Oh, what a sin

Out of Time - Philip Labes

Tick, tick, tick goes any good thing Forever is a diamond lie We can't stop the clock, so let's just talk Until our heartbeats rhyme Until we're out of time (...) And if you believe that fate brought us together Then you must believe that it tore us apart But I do not believe That we live in a machine I think the ticking that you're hearing is a heart

Kane: Is It Honor That I Want? - Sushi Soucy (it's LITERALLY him. screaming)

I know the guidelines That I've lived by my whole life So well that I could sing them Be a good kid, be a good brother Be a good son, be a good loyal servant to the kingdom

Why am I so confused? I have everything I want Yet it feels like I have nothing left to lose Is the world really falling to pieces? Do we really have to iron out the creases? Have I been told my whole life something that isn't true? Because I really have no idea what to do

I curse the heavens up above Is it really honor that I want Or is it love?

The Title Track - Origami Angel

Sometimes it gets hard to be alive And you know that better than I do Better than I do Sometimes you need somewhere else to go Somewhere that nobody can find you No one will find you

But if you wanna be somewhere you don't have to be alone Or distraught or anything at all Baby, you don't have to be, pack all your things And we'll move to Somewhere City If you want to be someone that you never have to hide Or keep bottled up on the inside Baby, you can set it free, just come with me And I'll show you Somewhere City's waiting for you

Dion: Re-Do - Modern Baseball (i have to put mobo on every single playlist somewhere soz)

I wanna start from the top Maybe like a do-over Replace the voices in my head With blind innocence

I want a complete re-do Maybe change my name Report the losses, grab the claim "It's a shame, it's such a shame"

Kane: Stick Season - Noah Kahan

As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined You must've had yourself a change of heart like halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right

[robynbaldurlogs]

baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

[cve-th3mvsic]

i should probably have an “intro” post

hi, i’m tobias ^^ toby is cool too

(i based this off of @stanleyvampire14 ‘s intro because i didn’t really know how to do one)

i have a side blog: [ @askblog-cvesocs ] if you wanna check that out ^^ i plan on posting at least once daily, but sometimes i may not get to it.

My pronouns page if you wanna check it out

i’m on an inactive spree at the moment. — i’ll post something from time to time. js to say somethin. but probably not very often.

— i don’t currently have the mental capacity to interact much, but if you would like to interact with me, feel free to<3 i’m very welcoming, i promise

(↑ mostly inactive as of july 30th, 2024)

More about me

• my pronouns: he/him, it/its

• INFJ-A (dunno if this means anything to you, but that’s okay)

• i’m 5’9

• i’m a sagittarius

• i am on the spectrum. i struggle with social cues sometimes. when i talk to people, it’s difficult to tell if they’re annoyed or uninterested when they are. — i use tone tags like (/j), (/nm) (/pos) (/lh) (/neu) and so on. i also separate things often — in text, ya know. like with brackets “[]” and parentheses, because it makes more sense for my brain. i will often ask questions for clarification, so if it may be a “common sense” kind of thing i ask about, i genuinely don’t know.

my brain works a lot differently than others’ do. i may not be able to comprehend things as quickly as others, so please bare with me.

• i always speak my mind. if i have an opinion on somethin, there’s a big chance that ima say it. — i’ll most likely say the first thought that comes to mind pretty often. just to say it tbh. (i do very often say the first thought that comes to mind, i’ll be like “i almost said ___. that’s crazy”)

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[more below the cut]

• likes:

[writing] — i have a story that i haven’t written yet. it’s called “shit talker”. if you wanna hear all about it, i can totally yap to you about it. — i’ve actually gotten some writing done lately, which i’m proud of! i’ve been working on it (the new rewrite) since september 5th, and so far i’ve got two (and a half?) scenes written.

—[my most favorite song artists]: [the shins] , [vacations] , [phoenix] , [ellie goulding] , [pastel ghost]

—[top 5 favorite songs (at the moment)]:

•| “When You Sleep” by my bloody valentine (this is my number one most favorite song of all time.)

•| “Girl On the Wing” by The Shins

•| “Sticks & Stones” by Jónsi

•| “Where No One Goes” by Jónsi & John Powell

•| “Don’t Save Us from the Flames” by M83

—[my favorite colors]:

•| green

•| purple

•| yellow

•| brown

(i can’t color the words the way i wanna ☹️)

• dislikes:

—throwing up/mentions of throwing up. i have emetophobia. i do not like the words vomit or throw up. they make me extremely uncomfortable and it even makes me feel sick. (even writing this is making me feel sick)

[i will let you know if i don’t like something or i’m uncomfortable.]

other things:

• i watched fruits basket. (the newer one, not the old one) I LOVE FRUITS BASKET IT MAKES ME SOOO EMOTIONALLL I LOVE ITTTT

• i like to write, or at least think about my story in my head. — i have a shit ton of ocs. i have like 30+ ocs, most of which only have a name and little to no background, but there’s still plenty of ocs that have yet to be cooked up. my brain wants as many as possible.. — i have 14 main ocs. they all have the most background and have lore.

• i love the sturniolo triplets (they’re fun and i love their humor so much)

• i roleplay. i honestly see it as writing with another person. — i haven’t written with other people very much, but i’d like to ^^ if you wanna rp or write with me, lmk!! if you haven’t noticed already, i type a lot. when i rp, i write as if i’m writing a book. i use more than one oc when i roleplay.

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last updated: (10/16/2024) — october 16th, 2024 — 7:26pm

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