#I like her when they aren't focused
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metalhoops · 2 years ago
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Nancy Wheeler always wanted something. That was her secret. It was the one thing that no one knew about her because she hardly knew how to explain it to herself. It was like being hungry for something other than food. It was illogical, incomprehensible and all the things Nancy had never let herself be. 
She prided herself in being capable and competent. This manifested in different ways across the years. In the days before her best friend’s death, she had prided herself in her grades, her appearance, and her capability to somehow charm the once acclaimed ‘ladies' man’ Steve Harrington. 
After that, things got messy, and her world changed. Her friend died, and she hadn’t been able to stop it. She’d learnt how to use a gun to keep herself and those she loved safe. She redefined capability, using it to encompass roles like ‘fighter’ and ‘protector’.  
She realised she’d never loved Steve, not really, not in the way she should. Steve was funny. He knew how to make her laugh, sweep her off her feet, and make her feel special. No one had done that for her before. She’d lived in a crowded house that always felt empty. Steve understood that. Her mother and father had been dancing around each other since she was born. Even as the eldest child, she’d never felt special, not until Steve. 
Then there was something about Jonathan. He’d been kind and compassionate. He’d been something Steve wasn’t. She didn’t want to be with Jonathan because of any external forces. Dating Jonathan wouldn’t turn heads or make the other girls in school look her way with something akin to envy. But it might fill that gaping hole of want.  Jonathan understood her. He saw her for who she was and he’d loved her for it. No one had ever done that before. Steve had come close, but he hadn’t seen her. He’d seen the possibility of a white picket fence and a family. 
Nancy knew if she went for that life, she’d be just like her mother. A woman filled with ambitions and dead dreams. A woman who got glassy-eyed when gazing out of her bedroom window, as though envisioning herself opening the glass and soaring free or falling to her death, impaled on the same white picket fence that’d sprung up like a field of daisies the day Nancy Wheeler was born. 
For a while, Jonathan had been enough. Until he wasn’t. She didn’t know who owned the blame for the demise of their relationship. It happened slowly, maybe when he moved to California, possibly before that. They were two continents drifting apart. He left in his wake the same old familiar aching hole of want. 
She applied for colleges, worked on her journalism, and freelanced for a couple of local papers outside of Hawkins, ones where women were allowed a seat at the table. It helped. She was done trying to impress others. She wanted to impress herself. 
She felt more at home in her body while she was moving, but when she came home, either to her estranged family house in Hawkins or to her silent student dorm room, she felt the hole once again. That was when Steve asked her to move in with him. 
She wanted to say no. She wasn’t going to do it to herself or Steve again. She didn’t want to give him hope. He was always in love with her. It waxed, waned and morphed like the moon, but the love was always there. Yet, to her surprise, he shook his head, showing her he’d also changed in their time apart. 
“Not just with me, Nance. Robin and Eddie are coming too. There’s enough room. It’s gotta be lonely sometimes hauling up all by yourself.” 
Nancy couldn’t think of a good enough reason to say no. So she didn’t.  
What she hadn’t expected was how much she would enjoy having someone to come home to. The house was never quiet. Eddie would play his guitar at all hours of the night and morning. Ever since the group had made the mistake of getting Steve a record player for his birthday, he’d blast his music while cooking or cleaning. She couldn’t go a week without waking up to Toto’s Africa. A prospect that’d once petrified her, had somehow managed to bring her such comfort. Then there was Robin. Robin was never quiet. She was always talking to Nancy. 
Nancy had gotten used to her childhood home, where they ate together at mealtimes but remained silent. The place where, when she asked about someone’s day, she’d get a one-word response and a thousand-yard stare. When she asked Robin about her day, the girl told a novel-length, detailed account, filled with wild hand gestures and, more than once, illustrations. 
Nancy had come home late after spending the day at the library trying to complete a paper for her Intro to Communication and Journalism course. She was surprised to find Robin home alone, sprawled out in front of the T.V. watching what appeared to be a French Film. 
“Where’s everyone?” Nancy asked, letting her bag thud to the floor as she positioned herself on the armrest of the couch. 
“Watching a movie at the drive-in. I said I couldn’t go since I’m sick, real bummer.”  Robin faked a cough, then winked at her, sitting up and making room for Nancy. When she didn’t move quickly enough, Robin pulled her closer.  
The girl was clearly faking it. For what end, Nancy could guess. She knew Steve and how he acted when he was in love. He and Eddie had been mooning over one another for months. At first, it’d surprised her. She’d tried to deny her intuition, unsure why the concept of Steve liking Eddie made her feel naked. Nancy had always been progressive. It didn’t bother her that Steve or Eddie liked men, but it made the old, odd ache within her burn. 
“Do you think they’ll finally work it out?” Nancy questioned, watching as a flicker of surprise, followed by an air of mischief fell over Robin.
“Oh, Steve knows he’s got it bad for Eddie,” Robin confided, a cheeky grin spreading over her lips. Their faces were very close. Her eyes were blue, flecked with greys and greens, perfect in their imperfection. 
“He’s been waxing poetic to me for the past month. You thought listening to him talk about girls was bad? At least I can relate to that. Listening to him gush about Eddie kinda makes me want to puke. I mean Steve’s all ‘his hair looks so soft and curly, Robby.’ what am I meant to do with that? To me, Eddie’s just... I don’t know, our gremlin roommate that lives in our walls. I like the guy, but I don’t know what Steve sees in him,” Robin admitted with a laugh. 
She slung a hand around the back of the couch and absentmindedly tangled one of Nancy’s curls around her finger. Oh. Nancy liked that more than she should. Robin smelled like green apple shampoo, pen ink and poor decisions. 
Nancy was good at noticing things. She wanted to be an investigative journalist, and it came with the territory. She’d heard Steve mention how Robin had the habit of talking too much when she liked a girl. 
Nancy also noticed how Robin looked at her, the way her eyes lingered when she came out of her bedroom in her nightdress. Her eyes had scraped over Nancy’s shins, calves and the hollow space beneath her clavicle. All the new exposed flesh she usually kept hidden. It shouldn’t feel intimate, but it did. She’d seen drawings of her likeness amongst the clutter on the kitchen table and knew who they’d belonged to. Robin was good at drawing. She wondered if the girl would ever consider doing comics for the papers. It’d be nice to work with her around.
Nancy knew Robin was talking, but she didn’t hear a word of it, distracted by the stray strand of sandy hair, caught in Robin’s lip gloss. Nancy was smart, smart enough to know nothing good could come of acting on what she was feeling. She leaned forward anyway, brushing the hair back behind Robin’s ear, watching her go still. 
“How’d you get that?” Robin asked, capturing Nancy’s hand, trailing her finger over the scar cut across her palm. It was too close to another night, another possibility of love, another stupid decision by Nancy Wheeler.
“It doesn’t matter,” Nancy breathed, pulling back from Robin’s hand. 
“Robin, can you do me a favour?” Nancy asked, but before she had time to reply, Nancy pushed forward.
“Don’t fall in love with me,” she warned, her voice small but deathly serious. 
Robin pulled back as though slapped, looking at the woman before her with wide eyes, seeming like a creature ensnared in a trap. It’d come out all wrong. Nancy was never good with this kind of thing. 
“I hurt everyone that loves me,” she amended. 
“So please don’t fall in love with me, because I don’t want to hurt you.” 
Robin blinked owlishly at the girl before leaping to her feet and pacing before Nancy and the TV. 
“Holy shit,” she breathed as she paced. Robin’s body never felt at home staying still either. Nancy opened her mouth to say something, but it was drowned out by another bout of ‘holy shit’. 
“You like me, Nance,” Robin exclaimed, gesturing an upturned palm between the two of them. 
“You have to like me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t say that. And I mean, why the hell would you say that?” Robin ran a hand through her hair before huffing and sitting back down across from Nancy, taking her hands into her lap. They were both shaking. To her credit, Robin didn’t touch the scar again. 
“It’s not your fault. What happened between you and Steve. You know that right?” Nancy hadn’t expected that. Robin was always on Steve’s side for everything, they were best friends. 
“I broke his heart, too. He’s told you that, right?” He had. 
“That’s different,” Nancy reasoned. 
“Just because a relationship doesn’t work out doesn’t mean it was pointless. It’s like... I don’t know, having a crush on Tom Cruise,” Robin reasoned, instantly losing Nancy.  
“Alright, bad example. What I mean is back in high school, I had a major crush on Tammy Thompson. Don’t give me that face. Steve has said everything you could say. The point is, looking back at it now we never would’ve worked. She was a total flake. She was pretty but I’d drive her up the damn wall, like, could you imagine Tammy Thompson letting me talk about Italian Neorealism for two hours? No. But you did.” Robin nudged Nancy’s shoulder as though to prove a point.
“Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. The point is, I realised I liked girls because of Tammy Thompson, so liking her wasn’t a waste of time. You changed Steve and Steve changed you, same with Jonathan. It’s made you who you are, Nance and who you are is a total badass, that I really, really like. So please don’t tell me not to fall in love with you. It’s not fair. You won’t hurt me, but even if you do, I think it’d be worth it for us to try.” 
Nancy never had learned to shut Robin up, but she suddenly had an idea. 
She leaned forward, placing a shaking hand on Robin’s cheek and crashing their lips together, sleek, sticky, glossed lips smacking together, tasting of strawberry, feeling like home. 
Maybe the third time was the charm. 
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 month ago
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I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]
Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.
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At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.
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Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.
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Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.
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It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.
I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.
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At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.
#J/C is not interesting to me when they're strifelessly playing house or Chakotay is her lovesick yesman who'll do whatever she says#Kathryn Janeway#Chakotay#I really wish they'd kept up this kind of tension between the crews and used Tuvok/Janeway/Tuvok as like a microcosm of that tension#it'd be so good!!#Tuvok#<- he's there too#chara analysis#star trek voyager#st voy#Is this the only episode they call the ship 'The Voyager' ??#Also hearing Harry call Tom 'Mr Paris' is funny - early seasons voyager you have my heart early seasons voy supremacy#ANYWAY - that's beside the point#I do like how the maquis v starfleet tension is handled in this episode#I love how we see everyone start working together and relationships begin to form#How once B'Elanna shows her stuff Janeway is almost immediately intrigued and excited & how B'Elanna feeds off that excitement#The Doctor: -annoyed annoyed complaining complaining snarky comment- ugh I can't believe I have to help with something STUPID#Kes: You're very sensitive aren't you~? /gen /pos#The Doctor: ???? um ..... haha. idk. anyway I'm glad I could help :)#'how can we be seeing a reflection of something that we hadn't even done yet?' Voyager I love you MWAH#Tom Janeway B'Elanna: -temporal mechanics- / Harry: .... so how do we get out???#SUUCKS that in later seasons B'Elanna & Chakotay's relationship isn't focused on anymore but I mean. Every poc is pushed aside in later#seasons. But here you can see how much Chakotay believes in her and wants her to succeed!!! No wonder she likes him so much#He was probably one of the first people to really believe in her and SHOW IT and now Janeway's doing the same thing <3#My above post may paint Janeway somewhat negatively but it's only in the 'character flaws and being wrong about things means you have#a chance to grow' way - as soon as B'Elanna shows her potential Janeway wants to encourage it#God B'Elanna's so pretty#I forgot Seska was on the bridge!#'many of your teachers thought you had the potential to be an outstanding officer' SOMEONE SHOULD HAVETOLD HEEEER!!!!!!!!#WHY DID NO ONE TELL HEEER!!!!!
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milowing · 7 months ago
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"in the original myth medusa was a rape victim!" i'm literally banging my head against the wall
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I often see this impulse from other trans men* that involves hypervigilance of being one of the "good men" who set ourselves apart from the men who hurt others, and I wonder if this ultra-policing actually prevents us from being "bad"
I wonder if agonizing about doing everything "right" is only contributing to poor mental health of trans men* because you are seeing a distorted, monstrous version of yourself, somebody with whom you have to kill off. It forces you into this space of having to be perfect, to beat yourself up over any perceived infraction.
And I just don't think it's an effective measure to ensure we are "one of the good ones." Constantly treating yourself as the beast, treating yourself like a leper who has no place in the civilized world? How does that ensure that you both treat others well but also ensure that you aren't fucking miserable every single moment you're not alone?
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corfisers · 1 year ago
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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heartofstanding · 10 months ago
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There's a new novel about Joan of Kent that's coming out in September: Elizabeth Chadwick's The Royal Rebel.
1338: England has declared war on France, and Jeanette of Kent, cousin to King Edward III, says goodbye to her family and travels overseas with the royal court for the first time. Once in Antwerp, she is captivated by talented household knight, Thomas Holland, just as he in turn is powerfully drawn to her.Although both know their romance is forbidden, their love for each other grows stronger than the danger they face, and they marry in secret. But before they can make their tryst known, Thomas has to leave for war, and in his absence, Jeanette is forced into a second marriage and locked away from the world. Then Thomas returns, and the real fight begins. As hostile family members battle to keep Jeanette and Thomas apart, the defiant lovers vow to be reunited - whatever the cost...From the award-winning and bestselling author, Elizabeth Chadwick, comes an epic love story set against the tumultuous backdrop of high chivalry, deadly warfare, devastating plague, and savage rivalry in the twelfth century - the first of two parts telling the remarkable story of a woman who rose from royal rebel to formidable influence.
I have several posts on this and a glitter text gif but let me just say it again: Joan of Kent was born at the earliest in September 1326 and at the latest September 1328 (her birthday was on or shortly before Michaelmas, the year is unclear). In 1338, Joan could only have been 12 years old and quite possibly hadn't yet reached her 12th birthday when she married Holland. Holland was born in 1314 or 1315, i.e. he would have been around twice her age. No wonder her family was "hostile" to the marriage! That "powerful draw" Holland has would see him on a sex offenders registry.
Either Chadwick has aged Joan up like a tacky romance novelist loosely inspired by history, she didn’t bother to work out how old Joan actually was or she’s like “yeah totes fine nothing to see here Margaret Beaufort was the norm” when every serious medievalist will tell you that Margaret Beaufort was not the norm. Please. No more "preteen and early teenage girls could fall in true love with grown ass men in the Middle Ages and it's completely fine, nothing rapey about that."
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keeps-ache · 3 months ago
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The OCs you posted recently look really cool- could you talk a bit about them? Maybe the antagonists as well?
!! oh thank you :D
suuure yea :>> it's a smaller, newer thing of mine so not a lot n some of it may change!! but here's some profiles lol,
✧ Tide (the square head; they/them) is some sort of creature thing who lives in a remnant of an old world that decayed a long time ago after finding themself trapped there (that changes after they meet the goddess). they're head over heels for the goddess that still remains in the corridors there and they're not very normal about it hbfhvs - they can't be killed by any regular shmegular means and i have fun with that loll
✧ Vernor (ponytail gal; she/her) i don't have a lot for her, but she ended up in the same place Tide did and is very upset about it, understandably. she's good a martial arts and cries easily, and is pretty suspicious of most strangers :) she has a small knife-thing that works like a witch's broom (you have to hold the little handle for dear life though lmao) but i haven't gotten around to drawing it so !
✧ Dire (red circle; he/him) was created by the aforementioned goddess to dump emotions/thoughts she didn't want into, and then just sent him on his way lmfvhsh - because of that he is confused most of the time and still pretends to know everything but is figuring things out for real lol :3👍he hates to change his clothing and is snappy, and the snappiness may get worse on personal proximity hbfshv
^ these three have a Thing goin on. mostly qpp cuz i think it's fun :33
✧ Sleepy (the antagonist, he/him) the elusive guy. elusive bc i haven't drawn him lmfsh - another budy trapped in this old chunk of a dead world, he is also upset about it but to a much more desperate extent lol - his name isn't actually Sleepy but Tide nicknamed him that when they first met and now he can't seem to shake it hfsh, he Does hate it :) he is violent but he can play nicies so he does that most time loll
✧ the goddess (only thing holding this world together, She/her/it (capitalization is optional :3)) has been here for ages, ages, ages. her world's been long dead but she just keeps living for the monotony of it hfsh; plus, it's like her job never ended if she just keeps doing the same regular things she always did. bc of that it's actually preserved her chunk of annihilation, and sucks other creatures in w/o her knowing. the chunk is like a maze that keeps changing shape, so unless you can see it from a god's eyes the place is iiiiiinfinite! and terrible; the place changes to her moods and wishes, which can be interpreted p strangely lol :3 she's talked to and kept Tide around bc she needed somebody to deal with all these weird people coming into her dang house, and it's worked out fairly well (dubious)! :D
the world-chunk is inspired by vaporwave, abandoned malls, and the distinct smell of chlorine my mother has sometimes loll :)
#just us hi#a dollar and 75 cents#HELLO#thanks for asking. here are many words bfhsvkk#the main 3 have their little powers too but i'm still workshopping those n they aren't so important really lol :)#they're kinda my 'neutral' project so if i get stuck and can't pick anything i wanna do/think abt i just default to them hfh :>>#also tide can go by any pronouns but i am/was tired. depending on whose talking abt them they'll change sometimes hfsbhv#vernor made everyone in the group a lesbian by default so everyone say thanks vernor lmvjskvj#dire is trans 💥💥💥 was created and immediately went 'do we have other options' and She went '? yeah' 'well let's see them' kfsvhb#sleepy was transported here in his PJs n that's how he got that funkin name hfbvsj <3 he's got good reasons for everything but Aaaaawful#methods lolll - he n tide were semi-close but then Uh Ohh !! he went and did a thing hfh :)#the goddess pretends like it doesn't see anything but She is LOCKED in. laser-focused. next to nothing is escaping her#despite being the goddess here she can't harm anybody; thaaat's another reason for tide lol :3#mmm and i think i only missed Diane; diane lives in a place that never moves and nearly anyone can find when they need to#i think the goddess loves her n that's why she doesn't move hfshb :3#//ANYWHO yeah. stuff#this is one of my smaller projects...#can you imagine how unmanageable pi.e is Lmaoooo#//THANKS for the ask and interest ! ! ! :D#[spins spins throws glitter on you spins]
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merakiui · 1 year ago
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mera i am so excited for TMDG, you’ve been dropping hints about it every now and then like girl you’re teasing us at this point (affectionate)
i can feel that it’s going to be a masterpiece, you are cookin so much for us like what did we do to deserve you 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。
and the recent one with azul…it made me so!!!! (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) will you write something happy or lighthearted for our poor tako now that he’s home? i can imagine him kneeling on the floor gripping your ankles right now, asking for orgiveness and a happy ending lmao
also take care and keep safe always!!
Forgive the occasional teases!! I can't help it!!!! 80 pages in and I am vibrating with excitement AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! o(≧∇≦o) it reads like Azul thought 4 with a romantic tone, so if you've ever wanted scary, yet also fluffy yandere eel you will hopefully enjoy it (I think and hope. ^^;;;;)!!! :D TMDG may just be my Jade magnum opus. I have had too much fun writing it and I think that will be obvious when you read it hehehe. Thank you for looking forward to it and saying it will be a masterpiece!!!! ♡( ◡‿◡ ) everyone who likes Jade (and Floyd) will be feasting because there are plenty of yummy scenes!!!!
^^;;; perhaps "sad" was too much of an understatement. It is a tragic fic for both Azul and the reader... If tako is at my feet begging for forgiveness, who I am to ignore him? ❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ although I will probably write something fluffy for him! It looks like most are in favor of giving Azul his discord mod fic, so he may just get his happy ending after all!
Thank you for your kind words!!! <3 please also be sure to take care of yourself and stay safe!!!!!
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kneworder · 10 months ago
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angry at the oscars barbie nominations but in an annoyinger way (i think nominating ryan reynolds makes sense but the best picture and best supporting actress noms are ridiculous)
#sorry but the more i think about it the more i really dislike the movie#ken was funny! he was silly and campy! i really did not care for the rest of the movie!#i just think the more you examine its take on feminism the more it falls apart!#it's inherently about a product! it's inherently personifying a product and making you feel sympathy for and relate to a product!#they are generating hype and engendering sympathy for something they are trying to sell you!#regurgitating second wave feminism without nuance doesn't make it groundbreaking it makes it like. fine i guess?#verilybitchie has a great video that put a lot of my feelings about it into words#idk it did not resonate with me at all and also made me kind of annoyed with how it contributed to the ongoing trend#of gendering things that aren't gendered and focusing on a segregation of gendered perspectives#tired of i'm just a girl! tired of girl dinner! tired of men are always thinking about the roman empire!#sure there are experiences more common to and relevant to women but i get so uncomfy with those kinds of generalizations#even when they're just jokes because after they get repeated enough they stop sounding like ones#just like. when you try to examine it in terms of any kind of intersectionality it falls apart#and i know it's not that serious but like come on. they literally do not once touch on any kind of intersectionality.#you can't be like 'it's a groundbreaking feminist movie!' because they said 'women struggle with misogyny' in 2023#like i know it's barbie but i don't understand why there's this impulse to say that that's something that's never been said before#just because the president is black doesn't mean you've acknowledged like. racism at all.#just because you have two fat barbies with like four lines doesn't mean you've said anything meaningful about body image#and when you take an openly lesbian actress and give her short hair and make her strange and then have all the other characters#essentially socially exile her and still think she's weird after the resolution!!!#i would say that's like!! implicitly a pretty weird way to write gay people!#i don't want to rain on anyone's parade! it's silly! it's not that serious! i just also think it's not that good!#it's fine! it's fun! but i DO think ken is the best part of the barbie movie and for that i apologize
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beaversatemygrandma · 4 months ago
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At roughly 4 to 5am one of the cats decided to climb on top of the shelves right above my head where i sleep. Shelves that we put there specifically bc they couldn't reach them. (They grew since then. They can now...) And I was rudely woken up by a lego succulent that was on display hitting me right in the head.
The little shits have mastered verticality and I'm hating it.
Anyways. Anybody have any recommendations of museum putty for displayed lego sets? (Bc anything that isn't plastic isn't out in the open bc of them.)
#taks speaks#my ceramics are in one spot specifically in a glass cabinet#and literally nothing but lego and plush are actually out#i have been hit multiple times by my shelf sitting cyndaquil plush but that hurts far less#that was at least from them just reaching up and bapping at the shelf#they stand in the window sill and just reach#but now. somehow. they have gotten past the wall of cyndaquil. knocking everything on the shelf over in their path#to reach the highest point of the bedroom: the top of the cabinet/shelf that i have as a bedside table#what scared me the most when i woke up wasn't a pile of green legos but the fact#that the squirtle ditto plush that was shoved between the cabinet and the plush net above was sitting hauntingly perfectly beside my head#it's plain faced smile just staring back at me as i'm wondering wtf just hit my head#how did it land perfectly like this? idk. but i swear i had a moment of thinking halfawake where i thought it was posessed#the cats really want to be in the nook between the cabinet and plush net#i can't blame them. it's high up and it's covered#but it's how they get up there and how it's right over my head#and due to the rise in infiltrating wolf spiders in the apartment we don't want to kick them out of the bedroom#so they can hunt the one we lost behind the shelf#which bean had last night btw but dropped it#and bc it ran under the door she was so focused on behind the door so i picked her up and put her facing it from like 3 inches away#and she turns quickly to go back behind the door#so i grab eek and do the same but she just stared at it and watched as it ran behind the shelf#they aren't doing their job. and they're waking me up very rudely
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iniziare · 5 months ago
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Sometimes, fanmade animations really blow me away. Like, hello, Yelan? The accuracy of what I also have imagined her 'close-combat' to look like? I do recommend the full video by the way, which predominantly showcases Yelan and Childe respectively, with Ganyu and Xiao playing much smaller roles, but it's well-done. It's a Chinese fanmade 3D animation done for Genshin's 2nd anniversary, called 'Phantom of the Spy'. It's quite neat.
P.S.: God, I can't wait for her rerun in phase two. I need Aqua Simulacra.
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aparticularbandit · 9 months ago
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The thing is. Junko is very aware that she's unstable. But everyone else who SHOULD be a source of stability decides that SHE will be their stable center instead (looking at you, Mukuro and Yasuke), so she's just.
Up a creek without a paddle, and by the time she finds one, it's too late because she's that unstable center for so many people that she can't STOP.
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vegaseatsass · 7 months ago
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I'm so exhausted I don't really know where or how to begin my one-day weekend, have spent the day just kind of collapsed into executive dysfunctional confusion when what I WANT to do is post on tumblr about gay tv
#i wanna talk about 23.5 because the latest ep made me feral but for like side couples#i LOVE the main couples but nidabambam and mawinton make me insane#i was rooting for aro ton but now i want mawinton so badly#there's something that happens with the ships that aren't the advertised pairs so whether they happen or not isn't prescribed#i know mawintinh is what everyone on tumblr wants and it's not like i would be unhappy with that ok#but mawinton both obsessed with other people and relationships and oblivious to how they already have a boyf -#thats my shit.#tinh just seems so uninterested in mawin rn too whereas ton is laser focused#and to put a character like charoen into a yuri like come on how many of us who DIDN'T 'just know' we were not into boys#picked a dude to crush on from afar and then went EUGH STOP WHY IS THIS HAPPENING if/when he actually spoke to us#that is way too familiar a narrative to put in a GL and then resolve with her getting with a guy i'm sorry#but her and ton becoming besties who love shipping OTHER people together. hell yes lmfao#that's what i'm talking about! two people who think they like each other but actually just enjoy doing fandom together <3#buddhism fandom and friend fiction fandom#anyway i can't believe i spent that many words on them but i'm truly invested now. FLOWERS AND KNEE TOUCHES FOR MAWINTON#and i don't even know where to begin with nidabambam??????????????????#i thought this would be us projecting headcanon onto some women who had some nice scenes together#i didn't dare hope for ?????? lucky/unlucky protective/clumsy glorious t4t grown woman love story#what the heck i felt like my brain was unravelling as i watched them#they really stumbled(/carefully protected the other from stumbling) their way into a STARGAZE DATE#what the heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i think something magical just happens when you hit a certain point in a story and you've LET the main couples grow and evolve#so they're more or less together and it's hilarious and adorable (oh my god ongsa and aylin taking initiative oh my god)#but they also leave narrative space for MORE LOVE STORIES IN THE BEAUTIFUL ENSEMBLE#and that's where i start to lose control apparently#23.5#23point5#dear diary
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stairset · 2 years ago
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Maybe it's just because of where I live, but the whole "Satine didn't like that her people were a bunch of warmongering imperialist assholes and told them to knock it off and implemented gun control and made the Jedi Torture Boxes illegal so that her people could rebuild and move on from their violent history of civil wars that reduced their planet into a nearly uninhabitable wasteland in favor of focusing on more productive things like art and education and this is literally cultural genocide and she's erasing history and she should've been a villain blah blah blah" take has always been so weird to me. Like I have absolutely seen people say things like that in real life all the time and about 90% of them have confederate flags on the back of their pickup trucks so. Yeah.
#''but the new mandos are mostly white in tcw!'' despite what many claim mandos were always mostly white even before tcw#i know people wanna act like they're The Single Most Diverse Culture In The Entire Galaxy but that was always largely an informed attribute#i mean star wars in general wasn't as diverse before the disney era that's why rebels and tcw season 7 have more non-white mandalorians#also the whole idea that she only took over cause of republic backing and made her people ''assimilate'' to republic culture#which first of all the republic doesn't have one culture it's made up thousands of planets with different cultures#contrary to popular belief the republic isn't really Space America it's more Space United Nations#and second of all her ENTIRE INTRODUCTORY ARC is about her being against republic overreach#and not wanting them to intervene in internal mandalorian affairs#but yeah clearly she's a puppet for the republic that's definitely consistent with what we actually see onscreen#and don't bother with the ''the republic glassed mandalore'' thing#that's legends and is never mentioned anywhere in tcw at all#as far as lucas and disney canon are concerned it's a wasteland because of centuries of civil wars#which sabine confirms in rebels#the whole erasing culture thing doesn't hold much weight either#when you consider satine is one of only two characters to actually speak mando'a onscreen (the other being sabine)#which. again. she did In Her Introductory Episode#and you can see mando'a writing all around new mandalore#in sharp contrast to the fanon idea that she suppressed the language or whatever#and like there's TONS of uniquely mandalorian artwork and architecture and stuff like that#those things are culture too she just focuses on the parts of the culture that aren't about killing people you don't like#also when pre vizsla starts his whole smear campaign against her and gains the favor of the people#she stands down because the people are on his side now#which shows she believes in the will of the people and thus it's safe to assume that the majority supported her favor when she took over#anyway i'm gonna go watch avatar and day zuko committed cultural genocide#cause imperialism is fire nation culture and he told them to knock it off#shut up tristan
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asleepinawell · 1 year ago
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@sntoot and I were 2-manning suzaku ex for the doggo mount and it is possibly my favorite trial in the game now. i already loved the normal version and the ex was even more fun and felt a lot like a dance. just thought i'd share even if most of y'all did it ages ago because it's so pretty and the music slaps and sometimes it's nice to enjoy fun things again vicariously
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sakurarisen · 2 years ago
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Jumping on replies and playing catch up in a few now that I finally feel better, but some notes and updates! <3
On talking it out with @honorisen, we’ve decided on a fair few things - This includes finally ironing out a more solid, detailed, and updated timeline, for both Sera and Zack’s canons that’ll find its way onto my carrd after Kasa gets a chance to play CCR and we have time between her busy schedule to get that written out in full. This timeline will also extend to my other blogs as well, and apply to Cody and Lia ( @bountyrisen ), Kunsel ( @shinrarisen​ ), Shayan ( @legacydriven​ ) and Cissnei and Shiva ( @wingrisen ), making it something cross-referenced between blogs - Both mine and hers. These changes will be canonical for both our blogs.
This also means no further waffling; if a thread is set in Remake verse, Sera and Zack are married unless otherwise plotted out, and if set in CC, they’re already dating by the time of the Ft. Tamblin attack. OG7 is the only verse in which their relationship is in the air due to Zack’s disappearance.
Sera’s family has been expanded! Thoma ( @yoroiis​ ) is Sera’s eldest brother, and will be referred to as such in any verse where Sera is married, or in Spellbound and Genshin Impact verses. Prior to this point, she’ll regard him as her cousin, which is what she was raised to believe he is - More info is available in Sera’s Carrd!
On this same note, I do have a Genshin verse also available for Sera! There’s a bit of a timeline that will also be available for this verse, and a specific ‘GI Misc’ section is available on the carrd. I’ll be a little more picky with this verse due to only being about halfway through current content at the time of writing this; I refuse to make anyone stop to explain basic canon to me if I can read up on, play through, or study it on my own!
The YGO Misc section has been updated to reflect change made with the rewritten verse.
I’ve also added a misc section for another AU in Sera’s (And Zack’s!) Experiment AU, to hopefully help explain what’s going on in there better. All misc sections are considered forever under construction and can and will be added to as things develop and change.
Timelines will be available hopefully before New Year’s, but I’ll update this post when they are! <3
Relationships pages have gotten a mini boost/update with GI getting one for itself, with bonds made in off-dash threads in place.
Things are still a bit under construction given the holidays putting a bit of a wrench in time and schedules being overly busy as all get out, so there’ll be an update to this update on anther day - But for now, this covers what’s already been completed (and in the works, for both Kasa and myself) and means I can go jump into replies and sorting things out on that front! <3
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, everyone! <3333
~Pom
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