#I know what I need to do to cope but then when I'm in the moment it feels like I'm literally dying

[disparatemind]

Sorry for the long delay, a family member passed last year right after Thanksgiving and then two weeks ago another family member passed, so writing this story especially was too difficult until recently

Link to pinned post with all parts here

Part 12

All was quiet in the cafe for a bit, and I made my rounds and conversed with several patrons while refilling cups and plates. The soul sitting with Wade still eyed me warily when I walked by, but showed no other sign of aggression towards me. Wade was doing all the talking, and the soul looked slightly annoyed at their predicament. I hid a smile and went back to the counter, putting together the ingredients for a double batch of cinnamon rolls.

The counter took up almost an entire side of the cafe, with a large stove and cabinets containing every bowl, pan, cup, and teapot I could ever need for baking and serving coffee and tea. Under one of the counters was a dishwasher that I simply loaded dishes into without washing, and once they were clean they appeared back in their respective cupboards. Not having to worry about washing dishes was a definite plus, as it gave me more time to focus on my patrons, and the refrigerator and pantry where the ingredients were kept were never empty. The finished pastries and goodies I kept in a couple of display cases and a large glass-fronted pantry, which I refilled and took from as I made batches of food and filled orders. 

I had originally worked from a recipe book when I first started at the cafe, but now I had made them for so long that I had all the measurements and steps memorized. The whole process of baking had been soothing to me in life, and it had been a pinnacle of coping and healing during my time here. The soothing repetition of something I was achingly familiar with as well as the comfort both given and received by the patrons and myself, had given me a halting way forward from the precipice I’d found myself at by that eerie shoreline.

~*~

Shaking my head of the unpleasant thoughts yet again, I heard my name called by a voice I easily recognized and went over to Couch. “What can I do for you?”

“Are you doing ok?”

The bluntness of the question took me back a bit, and it took me a moment to answer. “... kind of?”

A soft chuckle left him but his eyes held compassion. “You do know I'm happy to lend an ear the same as you've done for me all these years.”

When I smiled at him, I felt the familiar appreciation… and reservation. “I know, and I really do appreciate it. But there's only so much I can say while I'm working here.”

“... without breaking down completely” always went unsaid, but I was pretty sure Couch could see it on my face. He nodded and asked if he smelled cinnamon, and the sudden hope in his eyes had me laughing. “Yes, I'm making cinnamon rolls. But you know they take a while.”

The faintest of grimaces bent the corners of his eyes. “I'm in no rush,” he said dryly.

I resisted the urge to smack myself and went back to the counter. I'd barely gotten there, however, when another of my non-speaking patrons caught my attention.

“Excuse me, Rose?”

I immediately went over and smiled. “How can I help you?” I signed.

“I'm sorry to bother you but…” The soul hesitated and their eyes flicked towards the door to Life. “... do you know if there's a way to go back through that door?”

One of my least favorite questions.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my hands and began to sign.

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

[jelzorz]

You don't need to of course. But I would love for some kind of continuation to 205. It's so lovely!

205b.

Callum is thrilled, of course.

It'd been the middle of Yule when Rayla told him, and she'd been so nervous, so scared of what it would mean for them and all their plans, but to Callum, it hadn't mattered. It still doesn't. He loves her, and he loves the child in her belly already, whoever they are and will be, and she's how many months along now? Six? Seven? Only a couple more months to go, which only makes Callum all the more excited—

And all the more terrified at the same time.

He copes by throwing himself into his work. Being High Mage these days is about maximising the harvests and finding creative solutions to little problems: broken carts and injured donkeys and good winds for travel, but there's the other thing, too: the thing that weighs heavily on his back and in his pocket, the blank coin that he clings to as a last resort.

The days feel numbered. Every night, he looks at the sky and wonders which star is Aaravos, which one will come crashing back to earth to seeking revenge on them all. Callum draws up plans upon plans upon plans. He wrangles Ezran and Opeli into writing and signing contracts with the other kingdoms who promise to provide aid if they need it. He has Soren and Corvus and Terry out every couple of weeks with their ears to the ground, watching for any signs of Aaravos or Claudia on the wind.

He holds Rayla tighter every night.

"You need sleep," she says one evening. It's dark outside and Callum winces at the sky, the stars winking sadistically at him through the tower window.

He scowls. "What I need is to keep you safe. Both of you."

Rayla makes a face at him. "We're safe now, Callum. Aaravos isn't here—"

"Yet."

"And you're missing this. Us. The wee one in here." She takes his hand, easing his quill from it to rest his fingers on her belly. The child in it shifts under his touch, and Callum's breath stills, marvelling once more at the miracle of it. Of his wife and child.

He breathes out. "Sorry," he murmurs. "I'm just... scared."

"I know you are," says Rayla quietly. "I am too. But we'll worry about that when we need to, okay? Right now, we need you here."

Callum sighs, but he lets Rayla draw him out of his chair and into their quarters, allows her to distract him with the softness of her lips and the warmth of her touch, determined to forget the ever present weight of the coin in his pocket.

They are safe now, he tells himself. They are whole. And if and when Aaravos becomes a problem... he'll keep them safe then, too.

He would do anything for them, after all.

However dangerous. However vile.

[cruyuu]

Since the official art of them came out, I've seen some very hilarious takes about Yuuji and Sukuna. Some people coping HARD. "Yuuji is forcing him" Well gee, since when can he force Sukuna to do anything? Or is Sukuna that powerless against him? Even in Yuuji's domain, Sukuna didn't have to catch a damn crayfish or do archery, but he did, mind you all this happened BEFORE Yuuji said he could kill him (and even when this happened, he had support from Nobara). He's like, "ahggg fine I GUESS I can do this" lmao. In the official art, he's the one leading the dance. For what reason? Gege didn't have to draw them with their fingers intertwined, with Sukuna's arm around Yuuji's waist, and yet. Why have all this with the snow falling around them? (Yes the cat might be pandering, that's another valid reason) Right after we have the epilogue with Yuuji saying he still likes the snow and it's special to him?

"B-but he doesn't like Yuuji!" Well Sukuna called Yuuji by his full name when he was turning to dust. Have we forgotten that that's an indication that Sukuna respects someone/a sorcerer? Is it not significant going from "brat" to "Itadori Yuuji"? I'm guessing this does not apply to Yuuji then lmao. Also, I'm not saying Sukuna loves him or likes him like he loves, idk, fighting. But he at least recognized Yuuji. Another thing is that people forget that Sukuna usually says one thing and does another. Isn't this what Mahito implied? He literally called Sukuna a liar and he was like "Yeah so lmao". Their change/development is subtle, but it's there. Isn't the end of the fight an indication of this? Actually, Sukuna had an existencial crisis during this BECAUSE of Yuuji lol. For all his faults, I think some of Gege's strongest points in JJK are Yuuji and Sukuna. Sorry for the long rant btw!

Hi anon! Let me rant along with you!

I'm not on that app but I did see several posts here on Tumblr about how "there's suddenly so many skit shippers don't these ppl know that's a horrible ship" like bruh. Do you not realize Yuuji came from a brain inhabiting his mother's corpse? That Yuuji isn't even human? Are they not aware they're reading a work which isn't suitable for children?

Most are coping because sukuita is a problematic ship yet it's getting a lot of spotlight. Hell, Gege had drawn them dancing in the snow together on love day. "Yet they're related!! How could Gege :(". Well... they could lol. They clearly don't give a shit (and I say good for them!)

That's also the big issue to these ppl. Idk if they ship Yuuji with someone else and are mad that his "reincarnated uncle (grand uncle)" got the lovely romantic official art. Let's also not forget that Yuuji practically promised his forever to Sukuna. The finger that he's missing is literally the marriage finger. Am I to blame for that? Nope. Gege wrote it like that and I'm just pointing it out.

Dunno why that's stopping them from shipping their Yuuji ships. If canon's an issue, just focus on non-canon. No need to go shit on skit shippers lmfao

As for the arguments you've mentioned:

"Yuuji is forcing him"

Yuuji had also forced him to become so obsessed with tearing down his ideals and forced him to be in his close proximity while he's fighting him. He also forced him to call him brat and constantly think about him even while fighting others. The power Yuuji holds is, after all, that strong. He even forced him to change his own viewpoint and got him to hold his waist in that official art because he's now capable of using abilities which allow him to control Sukuna's actions. 👍

"B-but he doesn't like Yuuji!"

I think the right sentence is: he's obsessed with hating him so much so that it can't even be about hate anymore, it has to be that he's just in denial and that he loves him. There's a thin line between love and hate, after all. Who in their right mind spends so much time talking and thinking with delight about how someone-who-they-hate's abilities had improved? Who in their right mind changes their ways after their enemy confesses that they'd like to spend forever with them?

Their change/development is subtle, but it's there. Isn't the end of the fight an indication of this? Actually, Sukuna had an existencial crisis during this BECAUSE of Yuuji lol. For all his faults, I think some of Gege's strongest points in JJK are Yuuji and Sukuna. Sorry for the long rant btw!

Nice points and no need to be sorry, anon. It's hilarious how some ppl can't see it and are actively ignoring it lol. These two are tied to each other and are totally in love and to say otherwise is just ridiculous imo.

[604to647]

Holidays in the 604

Hope everyone has been having a good holidays so far, however that looks for you or best suits your sensibilities 🥹🥰🫂🎄🎄

I started to write write some HCs for what the holidays might look like for the couples in a few of my series (Safest with You, The Rockford Portfolio, etc.) but for reasons below the cut, haven't had much energy or motivation to write (no need to read, it's a bit of a downer and kind of rambly!) - I'm hoping that I can find a little bit of both in the next few days and maybe get some thoughts down to still post.

For those same reasons, I haven't been on here much, to my detriment if I'm being honest - this place is a source of escapism for me and not being able to come on here for more than a few minutes a day has felt a bit offputting. I feel like I've missed a lot of amazing holiday stories that would have likely boosted my spirits a bit - I'll try to go back and find them but if you have or read any that you wish to recommend/share, please do let me know!

Similarly, thank you to everyone for your tags/mentions/asks - I want to get to them and maybe still participate in a few tag games if it's not too late when I muster up some energy. Thank you for thinking of me!! I truly wish that you all continue to have a lovely holiday season and look forward to ringing in the new year! You're all such a welcomed presence in my life and I'm grateful to each and every one of you for being here! Hope to see you soon 🥹 KISS KISS 😘😘

Ok, now as to why Emily has a bit of the holiday blues this year:

I didn't grow up with a lot of hard set Christmas traditions, celebrations around the end of the year didn't go much beyond the commercial and the holiday season was mainly appreciated for being time off (from school, work), a time to rest and relax. There was cheer and joy, but as the kids say these days, it wasn't that deep. I've since married into a family that puts A LOT of pressure on Christmas - with an emphasis on physical togetherness and adhering to traditions/customs, that (to me anyways) can feel at times more performative than enjoyable; I totally understand the comfort in doing things the way they've always been done, but a lot of times it feels like people are just checking things off a list rather than genuinely enjoying (for example) baking the Christmas cookies, you know what I mean? Couple that with my priorities for my kiddos' Christmas, the way we spend Christmas now can feel a lot like a season of obligation. Depending on what the particular plan is for that year, it can also be incredibly hard, draining, and not all that jolly for me.

This was one of those years.

I hosted the big Christmas dinner at my house and also had those from out of town staying with us for a week. I'm a Virgo who thinks of her home as her sanctuary, am a bit fastidious about her things, and sees value in being forthright. It's a lot for me to have people taking over my house, making messes, and pushing/crossing boundaries that I've tried to set due to previous visits, all while maintaining a certain level of holiday cheer and slapping on a facade of "it's fine" when I definitely don't feel that way. I'll admit I wasn't always successful this past week.

Mr. 604 is very supportive and knows his family can be a lot, but at the end of the day a) he's just a man 😂 (and not a miracle worker) and b) they are his family and he himself has had to "grin and bear" a great many things over the course of his life, so he has more practice at it but doesn't necessarily have any advice to impart on how to better cope with the chaos.

It makes me feel like a curmudgeon for not being able to suck it up more and pretend for the sake of the kids, or even to help maintain this performance of "family togetherness" that seems to be the whole point of whatever the heck everyone was doing. So this holiday season has thus far been exhausting, filled with guilt, and left me feeling a bit empty.

I am okay and recovering now, it will just take a few days I think. If you read this far - thank you! I just needed to rant a little bit - I don't feel much like myself these days and that in itself can be depressing, especially at a time when I'm supposed to be experiencing the opposite. Here's to some rest, some quiet, some peace in the last few days of 2024 for myself, Mr. 604, and anyone else who needs it! 🤞🏻🥰

[caliluvsthe2000z]

“tutoring”

You're known for being intelligent at your school. You're usually picked to answer questions. You think you're pretty decent in academics, but not that good.

Because of your intelligence you were chosen to be a tutor for an after school study hall session that students with bad grades were supposed to attend. The instructor told you to go help Christopher Sturniolo. He was told to study for a test but didn't want to.

You went and took a seat at a desk beside Chris. He was running his fingers through his messy brown hair. You could tell that he was frustrated then he finally gave up and sat back in his chair.

"Y'know I'm not gonna do this, right?"

“You have to Christopher.”

"No I don't, actually. I can ditch if I want."

He closed his textbook and sat back in his chair, stretching, making himself comfortable.

“Yeah you can if you wanna repeat being a freshman.”

"It's the end of the year anyway and I'm passing a few of my classes with a C or better. If I fail a class it doesn't make me flunk."

“Christopher. the principal gave me a paper with your grades on it and you’re failing almost everything. Don’t say you have a C or better.”

Chris looked off to the side, a little embarrassed. It was true, he was failing all his classes. It wasn't his fault, he was having a hard time coping with his own life. He didn't want to admit that though.

"It doesn't matter, I'll just go to summer school, or something."

“You wont get anything done there Christopher.”

Chris shrugged. He was too stubborn to admit he needed the help. He didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Fine. Let's get it over with, I guess."

He grumbled, opening the textbook back up to a page you told him to look at. He was obviously still annoyed.

Cali pointed to the text where he left off.

“Read that one.”

she was talking in a soft tone because she knew that he was just gonna get frustrated and give up again.

Chris groaned, rolling his eyes before reading out loud. Reading wasn't his strong suit, but he wasn't a terrible reader. He read the text in a lazy, uninterested tone.

“Hey I know you don’t wanna be here but if you wanna get better you have to try. Please?”

Christopher sighed, annoyed. He sat up fully in his chair, dropping his casual, laid-back demeanor from before.

He looked straight at you, clearly frustrated.

"Why do you care anyway? You don't even know me that well. I won't be in any of your classes next year. We'll probably never see each other again once the year ends."

“Because i don’t want you to end up homeless or being nothing in life or worse.”

Christopher’s annoyed expression faded. He looked down, no longer making eye contact with you. He was a little surprised at your response. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what would happened if he didn’t try in school. Would he even be able to improve? He didn't know, but it was too scary for him to give any effort.

“So please try Christopher.”

Chris was quiet, contemplating the choice he was being given. He didn't want to do this but it was either this or fail. He let out a small huff before looking back at the text.

"Fine. I'll try. But I can't promise it will go well."

“Thank you so much.”

At that moment she smiled for the first time. she had a beautiful smile and her dimple went out when she smiled.

Despite the whole studying thing, Chris took a moment to look at your smile, noticing your dimple. He felt a little flutter in his stomach, something he hadn't felt before. He quickly looked down at the textbook, shaking himself out of it. He was supposed to be focused on studying, not paying attention to how pretty you were. He told himself to push that thought out of his mind.

"Just... just tell me what to do."

“Read this text please.”

Chris quickly shoved his thoughts out of his head and focused on the task at hand. He tried to keep his tone neutral, but his voice was a touch softer than before.

"Okay. Fine. Whatever you say"

He picked up the textbook, looking for the text you asked him to read. He found the page, reading it aloud.

“Good!”

She said it in a soft easy tone. She knew this was hard for him so she had to go easy on him.

Christopher found himself wanting you to say the word "good" again. He wanted to get praised and have you tell him he was doing a good job. He liked your voice.

He shook that thought away, telling himself to focus on the studying. Even though it had only been little while, his attitude had completely changed. He wasn't as annoyed at having to study, at least he was when he heard you praising him. He was putting an effort into the work.

"Okay, now what?"

“Write down what i say okay?”

Chris grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. He was actually willing to do this for once, not just half-heartedly going through the motions.

"Right, got it. I'll write it down."

He looked at you, waiting for you to start speaking.

When she starts reading the passage Chris tried to listen to what she was saying but her voice was just so beautiful he just couldn’t focus on what he was supposed to be writing down.

Chris tried to focus on the words, but they faded out, replaced by the sound of your voice. It was pretty. Soft. Soft and sweet, like honey. He had to focus himself back on the task at hand every few sentences.

He quickly jotted down the words you said, trying to keep up. It was difficult because he found himself listening to you instead.

“Got all that?”

Chris snapped himself out of his trance. He looked down at the paper in front of him, a little embarrassed at himself for zoning out so much.

"Uh, right, yeah. Got it."

He said, looking down at his notes, his face a tiny bit red from embarrassment at spacing out like that. The whole time he was taking notes, he had to remind himself to pay attention to what you were saying and not your voice.

“i’m so proud of you getting stuff done!”

When she said that she gave him a rub on the back. Chris’s heart gave a little flutter again when he felt your hand on his back. Nobody had given him praise like this or said they were proud of him in a long time. It felt good, even if it was just over something small like actually studying.

He took a moment to let the feeling sink in before responding. His head was still down, looking at the notes he had written.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right, I've actually gotten stuff done today..."

“And that’s not all.”

Chris looked up, curious. He had been doing surprisingly well so far. It had gone better than he thought. He didn't expect something else.

He looked directly at you, waiting to hear what he needed to do next.

“Now you’re gonna look me in the eyes and tell me what you learned from this text right here.”

Christopher felt a pang of nervousness when you said to look you in the eyes. That would be hard because of how pretty your eyes were, as well as looking you in the eye is already nerve-wracking.

He took a quick deep breath, mustering the courage to do as you said. He looked into your eyes, trying to keep a calm focus. He suddenly couldn't remember what he had written down at all. He tried to keep it together.

"Uh... well, what I learned is..."

“Go on.”

Chris tried his hardest to focus on answering the question, but it was hard when looking into your eyes. They were just so beautiful, so pretty. He could just stare into them all day. He tried to collect his thoughts.

"Uh, right, right... well, I learned that..."

He tried to remember what he had written down, but he was so distracted by just looking at you. It was impossible to focus on what he had written down.

“Here read it again.”

Chris let out a quiet sigh, trying not to seem like he was frustrated. He knew he should be able to tell you what he had written down but he still couldn't focus. Your sweet eyes and soft voice were making it so difficult.

He looked back down at his notes. They were messy, written in a hurry. He took a moment to read through the words.

“Hey hey don’t be frustrated take deep breath’s! When she said that she moved his hair out of his face.

Christopher almost shivered slightly when he felt your fingers brush his forehead, gently moving his hair. He took a deep breath like you said, letting it out through his nose. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to calm himself.

"Okay. Okay. I'm good, I'm okay now."

“Okay now read this one.”

He took another deep breath, feeling a little more in control now. He slowly started reading, trying to keep a steady tone. He spoke clearly and slowly, putting a lot of effort into it. He wanted to impress you.

She saw that he was having trouble with pronouncing the word equivalent so she tried to help him.

“Do you need some help?”

Chris stopped reading, taking his time before answering. He was getting a little frustrated with himself, having so much trouble. He let out a quiet groan, looking at the word.

"Ugh, yeah. Equiv- equivolent."

It was getting harder to even spit out the word now. He was never good at reading. He dreaded whenever he had to read aloud, even though he just heard your voice reading perfectly. It wasn't fair, he was supposed to be the popular and good looking kid, not the one with bad study skills.

“Its okay here i’ll help you”

She said that with the most beautiful smile on her face. Chris felt like he was going to melt if he looks at you for one more second.

Chris went quiet for a moment as you help him pronounce the word. You slowly helped him say it slowly, sounding it out carefully while he repeated it multiple times.

He mumbled it under his breath as he finally said it correctly, a little frustrated he couldn't say it easily. "Equivalent... got it."

“Im so proud of you You’re doing great.”

Chris was proud that he was finally able to say the damn word. He had a small smile on his face, not realizing that it mirrored your smile from before.

He looked up at you, feeling more confident. He still didn't like studying, but he was actually getting better at it. The fact that you were complimenting him and telling him he was doing good felt good. He wasn't used to hearing that from people.

"You really think I'm doing good?"

“Yes i do you’re doing way better than before!”

Chris was surprised at how much it made him smile to hear you say that. He actually was doing well. He was not only passing the subject, he was actually getting a good understanding. He never had that happen.

He sat up straighter in his chair, no longer leaning back as he had been before. He felt motivated now. Studying was becoming less of a chore and more of something he wanted to try.

"Yeah, okay. Maybe this isn't that bad after all."

“Well study time is over see you tomorrow!”

The words "study time is over" immediately brought back that annoyed feeling in Chris’s stomach. He was doing so well, he didn't want to stop.

But then, he realised that meant he was free. He didn't have to sit and study anymore. He was kind of sad though. He wouldn't get to see you until the next day. It wasn't ideal.

"Right... uh, okay. Um, see you tomorrow then."

[nettlebrand]

Proshippers are so weird because every argument they make is so easily debunked it's actually funny

First of all let's define a proshipper since everyone loves to argue over that. I will also acknowledge the history of the word

Proship in it's early years was defined as proship/anti harassment. It was a term used by people who believed people should not be harassed over what they ship.

But that's its term years ago, and the meaning of words change. Let's not be stupid when it comes to this argument. Proshipper is a term now often used by people who ship problematic things like incest, minor x adult, and abuser x victim.

THIS IS NOT A TERM USED BY PEOPLE WHO WRITE ABOUT THOSE RELATIONSHIPS AND PROTRAY THEM AS UNHEALTHY.

It's a term NOW USED by people who ENJOY and actively ship and romantize those relationships. You can write about a victim x abuser without romantizing it. Proshippers romantize it.

Now that we have defined it, we can tear apart every argument they try to use to justify doing it.

"It's my coping mechanism! My therapist said so!"

I'm going to state my credentials right off the bat. I have a degree in psychology and am currently getting my doctorate degree in it. While yes, many therapists say it can be used as a coping mechanism, it is a TEMPORARY coping mechanism. It is not a long-term mechanism that we recommend at all. On top of that, we certainly do not tell you to post it online for the public to see. No therapist would tell you to do that, and any therapist that says it's okay to do that does have you not have your best interest. We KNOW you will harassed and attacked on the internet if you post stuff like that online. It's why we specifically tell you that if you HAVE to use this TEMPORARY coping mechanism, to not do it publicly.

"Fiction doesn't effect reality! Grow up!"

I'm not defending the people doing the attacking either. IF YOU SEND DEATH THREATS OR HARASS PROSHIPPERS, YOU ARE BAD TOO! No one deserves death threats or to be doxxed because of fictional media even if it is not everyones taste. But therapist can not control what goes down on the internet, and neither can anyone else.

"Well it's fictional! It does effect reality but it's fiction that makes it okay!"

Fiction DOES effect reality it is why we enjoy fictional things so much in the first place. Saying fiction doesn't affect reality, which ignores so much human history and the basics of WHY people create fiction in the first place. Fiction DEFINITELY affects reality, and it affects the human mind greatly. It's why people can laugh cry and get angry at media in the first place. That argument makes no sense because if it didn't affect reality, it wouldn't be a coming mechanism, which is what a lot of proshippers say why they proship.

Romantizing a relationship other people have been through and trying to portray it as a good and well thing is frankly gross and disgusting. It hurts victims a lot and can make them question their own abuse they went through. It's not a good thing at all. If you honestly think on any speck of this planet that romantizing an abusive relationship, whether incest pedophilic or rape in any way is okay because it's fiction, you are honestly not much better than actual pedophiles and abusers. They get off to hurting people, and you also get off to the hurting aspect. Yes, even if you yourself are a victim. Being a victim doesn't mean you get a pass to do whatever you want, and I think a lot of people need to remember that. You do not get a pass to romantize abuse no matter what. It's not a good thing at all to romantize and it can make you worse and question your own abuse.

"Calling us just as bad as real abusers boo!"

I will. I will stand by that, too. Because that's how it starts. My abuser also started with "just writings" and "just drawings." Because that's how it always begins. In psychology, we can tell how far someone will go based on the things they consume and how they consume it. It gets to a point where the person consuming it will be a victim or be an abuser. It's why so many pedophiles when they are caught, have CP on their computers because "it was just images." I'm not saying all proshippers are going to turn out to be pedophiles or abusers because thats obviously not true. But the route you are going down is an addiction, and you eventually won't be able to stop even if you just stop at drawn images. It's why you crave to do it so much and can not stop. It's the rush you get of posting it online to the thrill of being caught. You enjoy every aspect of it. It's an addiction.

"You are dismissing/disrespecting real victims by comparing CP to drawn/written CP!"

I myself am a victim. A very severe one. There are pictures of me out on the deep web somewhere when I wasn't even in double digits. I am not disrespecting what happened to me or other kids. While I do agree with the argument that drawing a fictional child is not as bad as real pictures of children, it is still disgusting to be making at all. It's also disrespectful to victims to be romantizing stuff like that publicly, so you aren't allowed to use that argument as if you cared for every victim, you wouldn't be posting it publicly.

"You are limiting artistic creativity! This is conservative ideologies that wants to censor work!"

If censoring the romantization of abuse being portrayed as good is wrong, then I want to be wrong. Yes, everyone should have artistic freedom, but why in any way would you WANT to be known as the author or person who portrays pedophiles in a good way. Who portrays abuse as okay and romantic. Why is that something you want in your life. No one should want that, and if you do, I encourage you to seek a strong amount of help. Censoring the portrayal of abuse as good shouldn't be a controversial statement at all, but it somehow it. If you are writing pedophiles incest and abuse as a BAD THING and you MAKE SURE, it's portrayed as a bad thing that isn't proshipping. It's when you romantize it and try to treat it as a "cute fun silly >w<." Thing that I see MANY proshippers do that's bad. Yes, I want that censored. Especially when it's easily accessible to minors. Proshippers do not care if minors can access their work, and it's very obvious seeing it. Even if it isn't inherently, nsfw minors shouldn't be seeing and interacting with ANY FORM OF MEDIA that portrays abuse as good.

"What about NSFW artist!?? You don't want them censored!?"

I don't see this argument made as often, but it's still one I want to talk about. Most nsfw artists I see make... normal art that doesn't revolve around romantizing abuse in some way. While obviously there are exceptions, nsfw art is aimed towards adults, which makes censoring a lot easier, and theres an understanding between sex vs relationship. There's a difference between porn with bdsm aspects in it vs. a fanfic writing on two characters, and the abuse is romantical. Sex is different than a romantic relationship.

"Well my artwork is aimed towards adults! Adults can understand it better!"

Adults can still have an awful time with abusive and struggling relationships. Adults can also be uncomfortable and not want to see their abuse portrayed in a good light. While I agree that many adults can understand and differ fiction from reality, that doesn't change the fact that romantizing abuse in any way isn't okay. What a lot of proshippers tend to not understand is how its portrayed that's the problem.

I am a HUGE FAN of enemies to lovers. If they didn't try to kill each other once is it really love/j. But the major thing is it's the build-up and actual relationship that's different. If two characters are in love and one is on a lower power level, then another and just keep getting abused and beaten and mistreated even when they aren't enemies anymore. There's the romantizing abuse. A majority of the time, most don't even add warnings to this kind of content, which can heavily hurt past victims as well. Adults are allowed to not be okay! Adults are allowed to not be okay with seeing literal abuse be romantized! And that shouldn't be an excuse to do it just because your content is aimed for a more mature audience. Horror movies are aimed at adults and can portray murder as awful, proshippers shouldn't be an exception. Proshippers forget that antis tend to also get on people who use excessive gore without portraying it correctly as well. Urbanspook is a recent example who was HEAVILY flamed for his excessive gore without any real meaning or care behind the topic.

"Why do I have to demonize this! That doesn't mean I'm endorsing it!"

That's... what it means. If you do not portray a topic as serious as any form of abuse as bad then... why are you writing about it. I'm not saying it should be the main story because you can write about abuse and have it be a secondary plot point. Many stories do this, and it's don't correctly. But just writing about something just for the sake of having it in there without showing it as a bad awful thing, which is in the definition of abuse, is wrong and bad.

I'm not making this post to "change proshippers." Or "harass and bully them." I'm making this post because every argument they use is wrong and incorrect and hurts other victims, me included. I frankly don't care what proshippers do, but don't make mundane arguments about it. Just admit you want to do it just because you want to not for some anti conservative idea or because you believe it helps. There are better coping mechanisms, and posting yours online doesn't help your mindset. I hope all victims get the help and strength they need to heal from whatever they have been through, but posting romantic abuse online isn't going to help your mind or help anyone else. It's not some splatterpunk idea that slaps conservatives in the face and in fact pushes the idea to censor things more when kids come across it.

And honestly if any proshipper wants to have a debate about this I'm open to it as long as its cival. But frankly I don't see any reason to publicly be posting romantic abuse online.

[numberonetacostan]

okay im writing this at 2am while I bet on losing dogs is playing not a great mix.

OKAY here we go sensitive topics(?) consisting of self-harm

tacopad and SOME tacomic I guess

Sometimes i wonder how Mepad or Microphone would react to Taco self-harming, I like to think they immediately comfort her, no matter how many times she says she doesn’t need it, or doesn’t want it. They would keep sharp objects away, but since Taco can hide things in her shell, blades on those sharpeners aren’t safe nor are pocket knifes. The two would try EVERYTHING to keep her away from blades, but would end up with new scars on her wrists/thighs.

Taco doesn’t know why she doesn’t this, she doesn’t like it, yet she continues. She hides her arms with hoodies and long sleeved shirts. Summer is a hellhole for her, either having to wear arm warmers, or not going out her room. No one has seen her scars, not even Microphone and Mepad. Though they have caught her, everytime they try to bandage the wounds, she hides her wrists away.

ok im actually so sorry if this is very different from what i usually put here, and im sorry again if this topic makes you uncomfortable.

-nori

Hiya, Nori!!!!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in a hc!!!!! :] no worries about it being too dark, I love angst!!!! The only type of ask I won't take are sexually explicit ones. I will be putting a trigger warning and a cut, just in case others might be sensitive to it. I do hope you're feeling okay, though <3 I know I'm an internet stranger so feel free to ignore this, but I'm always willing to lend a listening ear for all my ii buddies on here!!! <3 <3 <3

TW: discussion of self-harm!!

I can, unfortunately for her, see Taco self-harming. She has trouble handling and expressing her feelings, a maladaptive coping mechanism such as that is a definite possibility for her, especially one she could pick up living alone in the woods such as self-harm. Especially especially since we get a glimpse into her self-image during Taco's Tirade!! Granted, she is at her rock bottom during the song, but we see throughout season 2 that she does feel bad about her actions!!!! She found herself to be monstrous long before the song, yeah? aaaaaa sorry your ask was about Mic and Mepad finding out!!!! I'll get right on with that!!!

So, I think Mepad would be a lot better about finding Taco self-harming because of his calm demeanor, and his teleportation ability, but mostly his demeanor. Him remaining quiet and soft and calm about it would make Taco herself a lot less reactive, since her feelings wouldn't be amplified by a loudly emotional reaction from him. Depending on how accurate or selective he can be with his teleporting, he could get whatever item Taco is using to harm herself away from her quickly and easily. Despite his understated reaction, of course, he is worried sick. He would not leave her side for a single second for weeks. I mean, I picture them sticking together anyways, but he is extra alert!!! I think he and Taco would do a lot of talking, and he would be very keen on trying to find her other coping mechanisms that aren't harmful. And and, he'd be very discreet about it. He would not tell a single other soul if Taco told him not to, unless he found he couldn't properly handle the situation alone.

However, much to my despair (i was actually crying about this before i saw your ask, funnily enough), Mepad is dead!!!!! So he can not be here to expertly Therapad his way through this. So we have the next best person to take care of Taco when she's in severe distress, Mic!! Who, as we have seen (ex: after lb and testy disappear in s2 ep12) Mic does not seem to do too well in surprising, stressful, and/or scary circumstances!!! Not that Mic wouldn't be a great help to Taco, no no, she would do her best and be incredibly supportive, but she would react more outwardly and, in true Mic fashion, loudly, to seeing Taco self-harming. The classic "What are you doing?!?!!??!!!!!!!" Sort of thing, yeah? I can see her being a lot more proactive in trying to keep all sharp objects away from Taco, since unlike Mepad, Mic has to sleep and thus can't keep her eyes on Taco 24/7.

I can see Taco potentially using self-harm as a form of punishment for herself while she's trying to change. Snapped at someone? She deserves to be hurt. Lied instinctively? She'll train it out of herself by force. Honestly this is pretty aligned with my hc of Taco initially trying way too hard to change immediately post-canon and it taking a huge toll on her mentally.

Ough and her hiding her scars even from Mic and Mepad and keeping them hidden despite all the misery it causes her am I seeing an ALLEGORY right there??? I think I am with her keeping all her feelings down despite how much worse it makes her feel. She's trying to heal and get better, but old habits are hard to break, yeah? Sometimes they come back with a vengeance.

[redlenai]

Whenever I think about a nice Jimmy AU, he ends up being like, that one motherfucker actor in a movie that could create a one hour long blooper video on his own (He is defo broken inside with the abandonment issues and still with the homoerotic tension with the Captain) but he copes by being funny.

You know what, screw it, headcanon time

Relationship with the other members:

Curly: Rivals and Besties, Curly isn't aware that the homoerotic jokes aren't just jokes. He thinks Jimmy is just unhinged and trying to make him break character so he doesn't look as professional

Daisuke: Jimmy is a terrible example for the intern, Daisuke wants to be friends but the "How do you do fellow kids?" attitude makes him cringe

Swansea: The elder scolds him for distracting Daisuke and being so unserious, Jimmy only behaves the days Sawnsea is using chanclas

Anya: She and Jimmy are forced to almost never be in the same place at the same time, if she laughs, Jimmy keeps on going with the jokes and none of them get anything done.

Other dumb scenarios I magined:

There is no crash (Nor anything bad happening), when Curly tells Jimmy about the meteorite the other just "Hit the gas, I wanna see it up-close"

On medbay he would just go into the bed, get in all fours (fully clothed) and "Doctor Anya! I'm ready for my colonoscopy~" in a high pitched voice. He stops the seconds he hears Anya putting on her gloves.

He saw Daisuke taking a nap in the living area, he waited until the other woke up with a leg cramp just to slap it "YOU NEED MORE POTASIUM"

Whenever he has to go to the Utility area, Swansea knows he is coming because Jimmy ALWAYS hums Tchaikovsky (The Swan Lake theme) just to piss him off.

In the Cockpit, Jimmy once was open legged on his seat, Curly told him to sit properly and the other just "What? Tempted at the pussy that faces the world?"

Some nice!Jimmy quotes? As if what I did up wasn't quotes, yeah:

"Give me the gun, Curls. Daisuke doesn't know what Vine is"

"Listen Anya, you may have told Curly about the cartoon horse thing, but I'm not the one with a cowboy fetish"

"Swansea, we want pae--" (Got hit by a chancla)

"You better work hard Daisuke, mom and dad don't like Jissapointments"

"YOU BIIEEEEECH!" (Anya bought the land he wanted in Monopoly)

"Es una mierda este juego" (The only spanish sentence he knows, "This game is shit")

"Curls. Save a horse, ride a cowboy"

Writing a nice Jimmy au be so funny. If you remove like all the evil stuff from him it’s really just some guy with abandonment issues and a homoerotic relationship with the captain.

[deoidesign]

.

[ilovedthestars]

i have. too many things to do.

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well. did you fucking miss me.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[roobylavender]

im really sorry if this question ends up being repetitive: but, if not for bruce’s over reliance on dick to regulate his thoughts and emotions, why would dick grow up into feeling like he needs to repress his emotions so much and his eagerness to act as people’s support? i know youve spoken about wolfman and his altering of their relationship but if ntt is generally an accurate portrayal of an adult dick, to me this nevertheless sounds like the consequences a parent-child relationship where the responsibilities are titled too much towards the child

i suppose this could also segue into asking for recs that would help me better understand your interpretation of their relationship 👀

not repetitive at all! to me the irony of wolfman's depiction of dick lies in that it is simultaneously something you can logically ascertain from prior canon but not for the reasons actually presented by wolfman. if that makes sense. he does extra work that isn't actually necessary to help explain why dick would act the way that he does because there's plenty of reasons for it without rewriting his history with bruce to have always been suppressed and edgy and dark. to me it makes far more sense to capitalize on the inevitable disconnect between bruce and dick as an adult and a child. batman: full circle is a good example of that dichotomy (and although it was published in the early 90s it built on mike w. barr's prior understanding of the relationship between dick and bruce that he wrote into the early 80s). bruce's primary concern for the people he works with is never standards or finesse but safety. he worries constantly about others coming to harm under his watch and with a child in particular those worries were exacerbated. he ran a tight ship not because he believed dick had anything to prove but because the only way dick could keep being robin was if he went about it safely. that was obv easy for an adult to understand. but not so much for a child

to bruce these worries were practical and par for the course (as well as an expression of his love and protectiveness) but for dick their consequences formed the crux of his entire world. as a child he idolized everything about bruce. his heroism. his work ethic. his skill. his resolve. his preparedness. if dick couldn't live up to the standard he set for himself in idolizing bruce then what could he ever hope to amount to? that was the thought constantly going through his head. and it's why the bulk of his childhood and primary tenure as bruce's partner was so precariously protected by the fact that nothing bad ever really happened during it (and admittedly this framing is convenient because even chronologically speaking nothing very significant happened in their history with each other until dick left for university in 1969) (i know dixon opted to write that whole shtick with dent in his version of events but personally i never found it necessary to do so). there is enough there in the idea of dick working hard for the course of a decade to embody who he believed bruce to be that lends itself to it eventually being difficult for him to healthily express himself once the rift between them actually began to emerge

because what about bruce was there to actually see that was broken and dark before dick became an adult? i know a lot of dick fans hate batman #408 because they don't like that it enforced "retirement" upon dick (which i personally believe is a conclusion they come to because of the way batman #416 re-framed the same scene) but to me that's an inaccurate reading of the text. batman #408 was about bruce (admittedly far too belatedly) recognizing that he could not in good conscience continue to ask dick to go out and be a vigilante on what he considered to be his own "orders". he viewed dick's close call with death at the hands of the joker as something directly of his own making. although their tenure with each other had been wonderful if dick wanted to continue to be a vigilante it had to be on his own terms and of his own volition. obv that was logical to bruce and it was something dick managed to accept in the moment. but it's still hard to go from always having a purpose alongside someone you idolized to finally being entrusted entirely to forge your own

in general i like the idea of dick the adult becoming privy to all of the personal problems and conflicts that come with being a vigilante. he was conveniently shielded from a lot of those problems as a child because all he had to do was be bruce's partner and hope to live up to the title. bruce had no reason to trauma dump on him or talk about his worries and concerns at length with him because it was never supposed to be dick's job to field those worries and concerns in the first place. he was a child. the only thing bruce wanted to do was to help channel his emotions through an outlet and provide him with a home to grow up in. but when you become an adult often that dynamic shifts. you're still not responsible for fielding those worries and concerns but you can perhaps be trusted with them. that's why i like the framing in batman #408 of dick now being a man. it's a subtle way to frame the double-edged sword of adulthood. the world is in your hands now but so will be the horrors that come with it. coming to terms with the real world that bruce lives in should be hard for dick. coming to terms with who bruce is when he's not perfect should be hard. coming to terms with how quietly bruce kept his grief because he did not see fit to overwhelm a child with it should be hard. that dichotomy of dick both wanting to be bruce's brother and his son should form the crux of their conflict with each other because you can't hope to be someone's equal and someone's protected at the same time in that kind of relationship. for dick to transition into the position of equal he has to expose himself to the fact that bruce is not in fact an idol but someone irrevocably human. and that should interfere significantly with his head and his own standards for himself

[alchemiclee]

I really hate when people say this. if I dont record, I cant "enjoy it in the moment" because I dissociate out of my damn mind and then have no memory of it! recording helps ground me and keep me focused in the moment! let me do what I need to in order to enjoy things you soggy potato 😭

plus, as a photographer/aspiring videographer who hasn't had the luck to become friends with bands and work with them, IM DOING A THING I ENJOY AS WELL, SO SHUT UP LMAO. I enjoy doing video and photos MORE than standing in a crowded, overwhelming room watching people do stuff on a stage. THATS LIYERALLY ME LIVING IN THE MOMENT DOING A THING I ENJOY!!!!! WHY IS THAT WRONG?!

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process