#does anyone else have this issue and get really annoyed when people throw a fit over your struggling coping mechanisms

[alchemiclee]

I really hate when people say this. if I dont record, I cant "enjoy it in the moment" because I dissociate out of my damn mind and then have no memory of it! recording helps ground me and keep me focused in the moment! let me do what I need to in order to enjoy things you soggy potato 😭

plus, as a photographer/aspiring videographer who hasn't had the luck to become friends with bands and work with them, IM DOING A THING I ENJOY AS WELL, SO SHUT UP LMAO. I enjoy doing video and photos MORE than standing in a crowded, overwhelming room watching people do stuff on a stage. THATS LIYERALLY ME LIVING IN THE MOMENT DOING A THING I ENJOY!!!!! WHY IS THAT WRONG?!

[v1smokewife]

you take my breath away

day 30 of a zosan centric kinktober

The only one keeping Zoro and Sanji apart is Sanji and Zoro is tired of it. (Part One of Two; Day 31 is part two)

authors note: so this one is a set up for a two part story so the "kink" section of this is kinda small but I wanted to set up the conflict. Don't worry though as tomorrow will make up for it thank you <3

There was a cold sort of feeling in the air tonight. It was the kind of cold that went through your bones, but Zoro was feeling a different kind of cold. A longing that couldn’t be sated as easily and it left him feeling empty inside.  

It was a quiet night, but Nami swore a storm was on its way. Most people kept inside but Zoro was outside the kitchen thinking about going in and talking to Sanji. 

His little relationship with Sanji was beginning to eat away at his heart which felt weirdly unexpected. Their relationship, at the beginning, felt very much like a relationship of convenience. They were both men on board a ship looking for company. Neither of them wanted anyone else...but they didn’t exactly want each other. Sanji had to do these mental gymnastics regarding his sexuality and Zoro had become tired of hearing it.  

It hurt...he wouldn’t tell him that but hearing Sanji coming up with every excuse under the sun as to why this doesn’t mean he had an attraction to men. 

Zoro had feelings for Sanji. Zoro only liked men. This constant rejection of him hurt him in ways that he didn’t expect. Zoro never got upset and just got angry, like he wanted to throw things. Tonight was no different. Overthinking things meant he had a fire in his heart and when he had decided enough was enough, he was going right into the kitchen to confront Sanji. 

His steps felt heavier than normal as he approached the door to the kitchen. Then he reached for the kitchen door and pulled it open. The light from inside shined into the darkness outside. 

Sanji was standing there facing away from the door. He was making some sort of light refreshments for later on... probably for the girls. 

Another thing that bothered him. 

“You’re going to have to wait till dinner for more food, Luffy,” Sanji’s voice was dismissive but focusing on what became clearer to Zoro as icing small cakes. Zoro let the door close behind him. 

“We need to talk, cook,”  

Sanji stopped, but only for a moment. They had been meaning to talk for a while. There was always that air of a conversation that hasn’t already happened between them and you could use a knife to cut the dense air between them. Sanji knew it. However, didn’t have the spoons to actually deal with the issue at hand. 

“I don’t have time to talk,” Which is probably why Sanji met Zoro almost at once with hostility, “Unlike you, I don’t just nap and drink all day. I actually try to help with the running of the ship,”  

Zoro rolled his eyes. “Your attitude is starting to really piss me off Sanji...” Zoro approached him with slow deliberation. “It was cute at the beginning of all of this because I would bring you down a peg but you’re just plain annoying now,”  

Sanji scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter, “Why are you so fucking cranky anyway? Didn’t you fit in your 12th nap of the day?” Sanji was only arguing to deflect what the conversation was likely about which Zoro saw through because Sanji always does this. He doesn’t want to talk about the possibility that he might like men, so he deflects. 

“You’re the cranky one. Fucking hell I’m barely in the door, cook, and you’re already at my throat with your shitty goddamn attitude,” It wasn’t working with Zoro. “What we need to talk about is us,” 

“What about us?” And that at once made Sanji nervous, moving around the counter to not get caught in Zoro’s path because he knows what will happen if he is...he’ll prove Zoro right and that isn’t good for him, “There’s no us. Do you think that because we fuck sometimes that there is an us?” 

“Don’t pretend as if you don’t like it,” Zoro felt his blood run hot. Sanji’s attitude sucked and it was starting to piss Zoro of but not how it normally does. No, Zoro normally finds him irritating but in a bratting way. Sanji is downright being hurtful right now. Which is fine. If it doesn’t mean anything to Sanji then it doesn’t but it’s all the other things, he’s doing alongside that are hurtful, “When we will you admit to yourself that you like men Sanji? I don’t care if I don’t mean anything to you but jumping through hoops to justify this to everyone is so unfair and you know it,” 

Sanji was caught. He had been caught in these lies and for a few moments, he didn’t say anything because what could he say? Zoro was right but Sanji was still going to do these mental gymnastics. 

“Just because I have sex with one man... that means nothing. I’m still straight. I couldn’t possibly have any romantic feelings towards any men...” 

Now that just boiled Zoro’s blood. And Sanji made the mistake of trying to move past Zoro to leave the kitchen, but it didn’t quite work out that way when Zoro grabbed Sanji by the wrist and slammed him against the wall. His hand grabbing Sanji’s neck. Not hard but enough to grab his attention...which it did because Sanji was...shocked but he didn’t move as she started at Zoro was surprised looking eyes. 

“You don’t mean that... I know you don’t,” Zoro almost said lowly. He squeezed at Sanji’s neck. This was something he had always wanted to do. Have Sanji by the neck like this. He had just wished it had been in better circumstances. He pressed his leg closer and shock horror to find that Sanji was getting hard from Zoro holding his neck like this, “This...right here is proof,” 

“It... doesn’t prove anything,” Sanji wasn’t being bratty anymore. He was being stubborn because Zoro was annoyed at him.  

“Quit being a fucking brat,”  

It wasn’t expected...nor was it unwelcome but Zoro’s other hand was raised and gave a slap to him. Sanji tried to hold back the delight in his face at the rough treatment that he was being given.  

“You’re pissing me off cook. I don’t even want to waste my time on you anymore,” 

Zoro then held his neck for a few seconds more before...stopping. He let go, then he stood back. 

“Hey! You can’t just-” 

“I don’t want to see you anymore,” 

The words ran in Sanji’s ears. Zoro...didn’t want to see him anymore. Sanji went to open his mouth, but Zoro just looked him. Zoro always had an unreadable expression. That goes for when he was making him do embarrassing things for his amusement or punishing him...but he never expected this. Zoro couldn’t be read, and it left Sanji in a weird spot. 

“But...why?” Sanji was pissed off too. Their relationship was always like this. They said from the start it would have no strings attached. Why now?  

“Because your indecisive ass is pissing me off. One moment you want me to fuck your brains out and the next, you would rather throw yourself at women who don’t care about you,” Zoro said, rather bitterly, standing by the door, “If I don’t mean anything to you, I don’t care. Don’t bullshit me about your interests,” 

“I’m not bullshitting you about anything...” But Sanji was and he knew he was. Why would he admit to himself that he liked men? All men did was hurt him. His father... his brothers, all they did was hurt him and make him feel unwanted. He couldn’t find it in him to trust men in the way he trusted women. He wanted to trust Zoro...he wanted to love Zoro but...things were difficult...they were harder than Zoro would ever realise, “Well, fine...I guess if you don’t want to see me anymore...” 

“Fine. Then that’s it. We aren’t anything anymore. Just allies on a ship,” 

And that right there hurt both of them.  

Without a word, Zoro left the kitchen and disappeared into the night. Regret and longing for Sanji was heavy in his chest but until Sanji learns to love himself for who he is instead of hiding, he had no place in Sanji’s life.  

Even if this hurts him... 

[altruistic-meme]

ok, heres an anon for you- i dont know if this is a me thing or not, but do you have any questions (about your work, your life, or anything) that you wish people would think to ask you, but that you know other people don’t have the context to ask? if so, what are they and what is it about them that makes you want to talk about it

hello!! this is a really interesting ask aaaa

i know that i do get this way too, but it's not like, questions i always have in my head, they usually come and go. lemme see if i can think of any rn....

lmao okay so i was trying to not get like Deep or anything and its not so much a question i often wish people would ask but ig one thing is like, i always think about how others view me when i tell them im the youngest of 6 kids. cus its SO irritating to me bc their immediate perception is literally always incorrect and they NEVER listen to me when i tell them that no, it actually wasn't like that at all.

so im gonna explain it here since i never get to irl but

being youngest was shit for me like 90% of the time. i know, i know, that there's the "oh the yougest always gets their way and they're the favorite and blah blah blah" and that's EXACTLY the idea people get when i tell them im youngest and that isn't what it was like.

in fact, it was the sister closest to my age who has that more than anyone else. if things didn't go her way, she would throw a fit and yell and cry and get our parents to take her side. every. fucking. time. when we were really young, this wasn't often used against me since we used to be really close, but as we got older it was used ALL THE TIME.

and the issue is it works (present tense, bc despite being 20/22 this still happens) bc i DONT like throwing fits or, especially now bc we're adults, i REALLY don't like pulling our parents into it. but she does! so she'll drag our parents into it and they'll take her side like always bc they only ever get her side of things.

back to being younger, i was basically the footstool of my family anyway, bc my siblings would always boss me around and I would listen (bc I've got ~issues~ I've learned) so they kept doing it. and I wouldn't complain bc it could upset them and it would annoy our parents and I didn't want to be like the sister before.

so yeah. being youngest sucked a lot. and it drives me fucking insane when i tell people i was youngest bc they go "oh so you were the baby! you must be so used to getting what you want and being the spoiled one lol" when they've got NO IDEA what it was like for me.

sorry for the rant ksksksksk but! maybe please do not assume youngest children are always spoiled babies bc we aren't! and that's the thing ig no one ever asks or lets me talk about that I really wish they would :')

[trulygracious]

My dad is an extremely aggravating man. I have a lot of poor connections with the people who are around me thanks to that man. I don’t even want to have a physical acknowledgement of his existence because of the things that he has done to me. I have a really poor relationship with him but it’s not just that. I really have no relationship with him. I just talk to him and he talks to me and we don’t connect. He’s really shit at connecting with other people. He’s one of those people who makes you feel like you need to connect with him and get him, but in order to do that you need to act in a certain way or think about specific things which he can take advantage of. He’s sort of mechanical in that sense; he tries to have control over everything and anyone who gets in the way of that control gets told to fuck off. He throws hissy fits because he can’t get the things he’s supposed to get out of things or if you get mad or anything. He escalates the situation but never does if you never pose your issues despite them existing. I guess that’s why I’m immature and have a hard time admitting my problems; he kind of quells it down to, if he has a problem and can’t describe it, he’ll bring it down to a million other things and threaten to gut you. I guess that’s because he has power over me with the money and everything. But the strange part of that too is that his money is a fiddle; he has nothing over me if I just stay silent. It’s a very weird relationship ship or dynamic and I try to ignore him as much as I can because he makes me very emotional but that’s proving to leak itself into everything else I do with any degree of physicality, i.e., everything. It makes me very emotional to deal with him and I don’t even know where to start. He hurts me a lot throwing threats out and stuff. I guess I have to be okay with there being a disconnect between me and him because nothing I say can get through to him. It’s very annoying and stuff. I want to have a connection with him. I think something about him trying to care about me when my mom died had something negative to do with how I see things regarding him. I would like to care about him. I see a lot of good sentiment and a lot of heritage in him too. But I also see him constantly trying to do me harm or disrupt me or just not care about the things I say. It’s hard to look at him. I hate looking at him. It reminds me of when I looked at him when he was beating me. He just stopped beating me because I started to kick him back. I’m not gonna just let him fuck around and hurt me anymore. What a complicated dynamics process, jesus christ. He was very annoying for it. He would always just yell at me whenever I’d look at him. Whenever he’d acknowledge whenever I was in the room he’d say things to me or attempt to get a reaction out of me. But I wanted no part in this. I kind of hated him a lot for a long time. He just doesn’t get what he’s doing to me. He thinks I have no idea what I’m doing. He has no idea what I’m doing. I think he has very little actual idea of what I’m doing. You know, I could just tell him. And he could listen and learn and figure it out and not be so dumb. But he seems to be really stupid about actually extrapolating anything genuinely, like, important about the situation we’re in. He can’t seem to learn or do anything new or important or etc. and it’s quite annoying and/or frustrating and he can’t get any of the details right. It’s his fault if he fucks everything he had up or over. What a dickhead. I dunno. He refuses to take any responsibility for any of this stuff we’re in or even think about it- or anything- competently or with some degree of knowledge or anything without just goofing everything up all the time. I hope he’s scared. When he dies. I hope he’s scared of everything and I’m not there to comfort him. I hope he dies alone and afraid and I’m not there to help him. Because he cannot admit to being a good person. He can’t do it. Nothing crosses his mind with any degree of knowledge or respect. He deserved to have his wife die. And now, he will die too. Usele

less and alone and not listening to anything, like the little child he once was.

You know, the problem I have with this resentment is that nothing I say here, going in this way, here or now, is going to solve anything important for me. I still need to figure out how I’m supposed to act around him and how I’m supposed to incorporate the fact that someone like him exists in my life. He really hurt me a lot, and I’m even too scared to stare at him in the eyes, even now. His yelling or even the threat of it grips my ribcage and frightens me. He never had anything good to say about me, ever. Nothing that really mattered, anyways. He always just congratulated me about things that he thought were important to congratulate me about- you know, default things. Doing a good job at something. But every time he would say those things it just. Rubbed it into my head a little bit more that he didn’t actually know anything properly about me that he could like. Genuinely grasp or anything like that. Like, as if raising me was some kind of automated task. You do this, you do that, bam! Good kid. Except I’m not a good kid. I’m a fucked up rabbit with a heart and strong teeth, and some kind of a yeast infection and perhaps diabetes. I guess it makes sense considering he had it too; and now I probably have it. I guess I wouldn’t be surprised. I wouldn’t be surprised if I did have it. He yell at me for doing things against his own ideas about the world. He kind of categorizes things into group things and then explains them out in a way that’s not helpful to me at all. If I yell back at him about things he tends to group that into the “I’m getting yelled at and can’t do anything about it” category and lights everything up and assumes I’m just trying to get back at him and everything about me not him and it’s like he gets, like, really personal about it and gets all angry. So he’s like, 0-100 about his threats and like presumed actions. He just threatens things if I don’t properly agree with him. What a dick, again. I’m not going to listen to you. But you’re also not going to do anything to punish me. But also if I outwork you or outthink you I just feel stupid because I have so much control over a situation that feels utterly pointless because I’m going to get the same outcome I wanted anyways… well, actually that’s not true, because I want him to connect with me and share opinions with me and learn with me and properly educate me and he can’t do that with me just yet. You know, so I can’t end up connecting with him well. But I can definitely connect with him a little bit if I connect with him at his level. Which is just kind of him taking advantage of me and him being dumb as shit. He’s kind of insanely aggravating for that, I think. What a dumb little idiot, that man. Aggravating is his middle name. He can compromise with other people which I like. But he refuses to do it with me. It’s most important you can do that with me or my brother so that I can live a life I actually enjoy and so can my brother. But instead, he’s just a dick to me and just expects nothing to happen to me or him. Which just isn’t the case at all. He’s a big dick for that. I fucking hate my dad for that, you know. He’s such a fucking penis bro. Fuck my life man. I want him to actually have a useful opinion for me and actually listen to me so I can live my life without him on my back and in my ear. He can just go suffer on his own, the fucking panzy. Pansy? Panzy sounds better but it’s getting redlined. Whatever, panzy. He’s a panzy. A dickhead made out of sugar fairydust and anvils on strings above doorways. What are my choices, then? To deal with my aggravating, annoying, pest of a father and deal with him all the time? I guess my answer for a long time has been, “Fuck that” because I can just rely on his money and not make a big deal out of things. I guess it’s kind of horrifying for me to realize I’m all alone, on my own, and kind of just dealing with whatever my dad wanted makes everything super hard and annoying. And I’m scared of the world. One of those things I’ve always been too afraid of dealing with or thinking about or interacting with- i

n the real world- on a very personal level was realizing how to tackle the world on my own with no one’s help. I guess it’s one of those things that just… really scared me, you know? Because I’ve had this fear, deep down, since I was maybe six years old that I’d have to take real control over my life and realize everything about it and work super hard and get super scared. But… I guess my answer to that now is that, I don’t really have to do that now. I can just… you know, figure my own life out competently and enjoy my surroundings a little bit. I was so scared of doing all of that hard work because of my parents. My mom wasn’t exactly all that far off from what my dad is today, but I guess she wasn’t nearly as bad as my dad is now. She was just similar in ability to scale up threatening demands and not exactly be pleasing or rational or really very nice or competent towards me and my brother. What a stupid little kid, that was, my mom. Christ. You know, I really wished my mom would be a better person than she was. I guess she had her issues, too. I guess it takes some issues to date someone like my dad competently and get out of it. Freedom of expression was not exactly encouraged without a messy helping-hand of adoration that was quickly outsmarted out of me. I couldn’t argue why it was wrong. If I argued it would get escalated. Escalations don’t get me what I want? but I realized if I lied I would just get into the habit of lying about everything, and I guess being a loser is better than being a liar, in many ways. Like, look at my brother. He’s a liar and a loser now, too. A loser who lies a lot and no one is happy about it, or him, and he does nothing with himself or anything. What a nice guy, but… fuck man, what a kid. What a dork. He should have done so much more with himself. Nevermind. Anyways, my dad couldn’t reach a conclusion with me I could genuinely be satisfied with. Young me was terrified by the idea of making up my own opinions about the universe and going out there and reaching for so much so quickly, because I couldn’t get the things I wanted out of the world.

Feb 23 2024

[bigwhispersbluebird]

BTS reaction when they are jealous  (Hyung Line)

Author’s Note: I often read a lot of reaction based fics and realize that perhaps my take on it is a little different. So here it goes. Do tell me if you like it or agree or just anything. Also, I am new to this so excuse me for any mistakes. Thanksss

Warnings: None

Seokjin or Jin

He watched from far as a man in his 20s approached you from behind as you finished the call you had excused yourself to attend. Judging from your reaction, he concluded that you knew the guy. Even though he couldn’t hear a word, your comfortable laugh, the way you slightly hit his shoulder while talking and mimicked his body language, Jin felt a weird irk inside him.

Don’t misunderstand, Kim Seokjin was very confident about himself but there was a part of him that often wondered if he was enough. He might be handsome but there were more handsome people around. He was not the smartest or the most athletic and he came with a load of baggage. So much that he couldn’t cross the room to where you were standing and openly declare that you were his gorgeous and brilliant girlfriend.

His thoughts were intruded by the chime of his phone. 

“You okay?”, your text read and he looked up to spot you a few tables away. The young stranger gone now and your eyes only on him. 

“No. I am Jin”, he replied in his usual manner, trying to hide the truth, cracking the worst joke ever in the process and wincing at himself as soon as he sent it.

He watched as you laughed unabashedly as soon as you saw the screen, your eyes glistening and he realized that this laugh was just for him. 

“You must be really in love with me if you laughed at that”, he sent and watched as you read and suddenly the same look overtook your face that he had seen on himself so many times when he was with you. 

He only took his eyes off you when his phone chimed again.

“Of course. Who else would ever compare?”

Yoongi or Suga

This was getting annoying for him. Yoongi would call himself a pretty calm person especially after the ten years of life as an artist had made him immune to almost everything happening around him. But this was getting on his nerves. 

You had walked into HYBE tonight and after just being at Genius Lab for a few minutes, you had asked about Do-Yan and went to seek him as soon as Yoongi told you that he must be in PDogg’s studio. Had it been a one time occurrence, Yoongi wouldn’t even have cared enough to think much into it but after this becoming a routine, he was over it. 

Do-Yan was a talented young producer who was contracted for TXT’s new album. You were heavily involved in the A&R activities of BigHit Music and were actually the person who had discovered Do-Yan. In your perspective, he could be a great asset and while he was just here on a temporary basis, you wished to persuade him to sign him as a BigHit producer permanently. PDogg had agreed with you and now you both were on the task of convincing him to stay. 

Unaware of this all, Yoongi decided to do something about the situation. As he typed the messages to the management team, he knew that this was very petty of him but he was beyond the point of caring right now. 

The next time you asked him about Do-Yan, Yoongi did not look up from his computer as he said, “He has been moved”. 

“What?”, you were shocked to say the least. “Moved? What do you mean moved?”

“He will be working with Bang PD directly now so he will be in the other building.”

“So, he signed the contract?”

Now Yoongi was getting agitated, “Why do you care so much?”, he had turned his seat around and was now only focusing on you. His tone was still calm but inside he was screaming.

Oblivious to the storm inside him you said, “Why wouldn’t I? He must have else he would not have said yes to that since...”, Yoongi was not even listening anymore. 

“He did. I talked to the management myself and got him to say yes”, Yoongi said. His voice low and his back now turned to you. “You can move there as well if you want to see him and care about him so much”.

“You...but you didn’t know”, suddenly all the pieces fell into place in your mind and you scolded yourself mentally for not noticing it yourself. 

“Yoongi”, you called out to him softly as you moved closer to his chair. “Jagiya”, you called again as you kneeled beside his chair, taking his hand lightly in yours. 

“I just wanted him to join the company so I was spending most of my time on that. I am sorry that I did not clear it to you. I’ll make up for all the lost time now that you’ve got it done”. 

Yoongi couldn’t even remember what he was angry about as you placed yourself on his lap, pulling him close to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. 

After a while your phone rang and you announced that you had to go for a meeting. As you inched closer to the door, you remembered something and without even turning around you said:

“I can’t believe you got him moved”

You closed the door behind you but not before hearing his low chuckle.

Hoseok or J-Hope or Hobi 

“I think Yeonjun and I should perform on something more sexy?”, you said with your eyes fixated on his face waiting for a reaction.

His eyebrows furrowed and then as if thinking about it, he immediately turned to you, nodding, “Yes, I think it will work great with both of your stage personalities”.

You were surprised. This was not the answer that you were expecting. You had hoped that he would get jealous like all those TikTok boyfriends. 

But you were not going to be dejected so easily. 

“Why don’t you help with the choreography?”, you suggested, a plan already forming in your head. 

“Y/N, I would have been offended had you not asked me”, he said as he showed off his gorgeous smile.

After a few days when you three started working on the performance, you tried to make Hobi jealous. You would suggest even more suggestive moves but he would just think about them and excitedly agree to them or politely decline saying how it does not fit with the steps. 

He would watch as you danced, concentrated and focused, but unwavering. 

After weeks of this charade, you grew tired and when Yeonjun excused himself to leave for a music show you exasperatedly sighed in front of Hobi who was monitoring the recently shot dance practice video of yours. 

“I don’t think you even care about me”.

“Huh?!”, Hobi was bewildered. “What?!”

“Yeah, you don’t care if I go throw myself in someone else’s arms”, your voice was loud in the empty dance studio. You lowered it again, “you don’t care”.

“Y/N”, Hobi was now closer to you, looking straight into your eyes. “I care. I care a lot. I care that this performance is amazing because this is a great opportunity for you. I care that your steps show exactly how good of a dancer you are. I care and that is why I would never let anybody else do it instead of me”. 

You were surprised. This was not what you were looking for but it was a pleasant difference. 

“And I would care if it was not a performance. I would, I do care if anyone even looks at you in the wrong way but I would never take it out on you. I want you to be able to perform without worrying what I would take it as. I want you to be loved by everyone in the audience”. 

His arms slowly snaked around your waist and under your sweatshirt, “just not the way that I do”.

Namjoon or RM

Namjoon had watched you the entire night, his eyes refusing to leave your figure as you rushed around the venue making sure everything was perfect. 

It was the last concert of the tour and you as the tour manager were adamant on making it memorable and smooth. Double-checking everything, you finally allowed yourself a moment of peace as you saw your boyfriend rehearse his performance for Trivia:  Love. 

Namjoon locked eyes with you, smiling and rapping his lines as if talking to you. Suddenly, you felt the weight of something on your shoulders and you looked away from the stage realizing that it was your assistant, Alan, who had just covered you with his jacket. You smiled gratefully as he extended a hand holding your coffee. 

“You should rest for a while before we meet back for sound check”, he suggested and you looked at your watch to see that he was right. Tonight was going to be hectic and a power nap was definitely needed.

You had not even realized that the stage was now empty and the leader was standing right by your side. His eyes were not on you, but on the man now sitting beside you, glancing at his jacket on your shoulders. 

Shrugging the jacket off, you asked, “Are you done? Any issues?”. 

Not answering your question, Namjoon kept staring at Alan and you felt bad for the poor guy. You asked again and this time Namjoon’s lips turned into a smile, “None, jagiya”. Jagiya?! 

Now you were the one staring daggers at him but he did not waver. Instead, with the same smile plastered on his lips, he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders, pulling the zipper closer together as he made his way to where Alan was sitting. Alan immediately got up, excusing himself and vacating the seat that now your boyfriend occupied, his hand reaching across your shoulder to pull you into him. 

You resisted. 

“ ‘Jagiya’. Really?! Really, Namjoon?”

He just smiled at that, genuinely this time. “Come on, you know I lose all calm when it comes to you”.

“Calm and senses, both”, you murmured as he laughed and pulled you closer and you let him, closing your eyes and resting before work would call you again.

[honeytea8]

✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨

[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]

Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)

I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy! 

He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning. 

If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage. 

I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you! 

I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!

I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ‘lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too) 

He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol. 

This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!

Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.

Prosciutto will respect you, period.

A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.

Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda). 

But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.

Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite. 

The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him. 

Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!

It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out. 

He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.

When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy. 

He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t. 

Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information). 

The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it. 

His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess. 

As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.

Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾

Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect. 

A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements?  LMAO

It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣

But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many. 

This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.” 

Peg this bitch so he can shut up.  

Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.

Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back. 

Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.

He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him. 

LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!

Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!

When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is. 

That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.

Formaggio is next 💀 

According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO

I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”. 

@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree. 

Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”

His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”

Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy. 

Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later. 

As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain. 

Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy. 

No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.

Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.

Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet. 

However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”

He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭

Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy. 

Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says. 

He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me). 

Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay. 

Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side. 

I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%. 

Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!

However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down. 

A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing. 

Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly. 

A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that! 

Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.

If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.

If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated. 

He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)

Goddamn Illuso... idk man.

I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons. 

The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool. 

Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!! 

I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all! 

He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones! 

His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you. 

Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time. 

If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to. 

Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on. 

He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun. 

Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go. 

One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week. 

It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes! 

He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him

Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.

Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it! 

We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them. 

Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.

When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.

Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?

Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao

But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!

I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)

While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.

He baby, so let him have it lol

In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period. 

Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there. 

Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.

Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me

The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)

As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.

Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you

After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal

Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺

After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.

I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know

One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????

He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.

Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.

He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)

Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol

ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!

Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!

Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐

Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior

So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe

[obeymeluv]

Signs they Love You (Pt. 2)

This semester is almost over and while the teacher is a bit disorganized, I have a semblance of breathing room. I thought I’d pop this out real quick and maybe something smaller. Baby-related thing still pending. I want to do it, just not quite enough time yet.

Part 2 has Asmo, Beel, and Belphie.

Belphie’s is not long AT ALL because...well, it’s Belphie. And it’s me. I’m so-so with Belphie.

Asmodeus

For once, his charm and sin is a double-edged sword

Yes, he’s very experienced and has had many lovers--many splendid little things over hundreds of years--but how to make it unique? How to tell you?

Asmo is very calculated in how he flirts, from what he wears and what he plans to say. He personally believes every relationship should be special. No repeated dates unless both people have a preference for it

So when he decides he likes you, the first thing he does is pull out this BIG ASS BOOK he’s kept for centuries and leafs through it to see what he’s done before

 No, it doesn’t matter that 99% of these dates were AGES before you were born. He’s checking the list because YOU DESERVE A SPECIAL DATE!

He’s secretly hoping you’ll get some of the many hints he’ll be dropping, but consulting the book is also a good idea for an official first date

After two weeks of shopping with you, taking spa days, trying to weasel his way into more cuddles, Asmo decides it’s time to pull out The Book idea because you’re not getting it

You’re just distracted by his beauty to see the fact that he’s trying to flirt. It’s fine.

This date idea requires the big guns (really only Diavolo, but he needs Lucifer to get to Diavolo). He’s setting his plan into motion, trying to sweet-talk Lucifer into taking him by Diavolo’s castle but Mammon overhears

The second-eldest is very unimpressed, DARES to mock him while sipping noisily on a soda, and just asks him why he doesn’t tell you straight up.

“Because it’s a stupid, tasteless idea.” Asmodeus scoffs and shoos him away like an annoying little thing as he amps up the charm and resumes his conversation with Lucifer.

“Bet it’ll work.” is all he hears Mammon murmur.

“Look,” Mammon shrugs. flicks his eyes to Asmo and then just nods his head towards you as you come around the corner into the dining room. “You just man up and say, ‘Do you--SMFF!”)

Asmo has never strangled anyone to death but today it might happen

Or he’s going to break this new six inch heel off in Mammon’s mouth (or his ass)

With Mammon sufficiently strangled (or choking on his soda, he’s not sure which) Asmo, plays it cool (barely) as you pass through to do something else (thank god!)

Highly amused, Lucifer agrees to help him

By the end of the week Asmodeus has a cute greenhouse picnic planned. Only Satan and Lucifer know

He’s pretty scarce around the House of Lamentation, even turning Solomon down once or twice, but it’s all worth it for the set up. He even bought special flowers

Barbatos escorts you through the winding greenhouse that almost seems lush and trim enough to be part of the Royal Gardens. He stops just before a manicured arch of flowers, the walkway studded with garden lights, stepping stones, and beautiful roses

He goads you forward, sending you on your way. The little roses perk up and explode into gorgeous blooms

And they’re talking?! One of the notecards say they’re a Devildom brand of rose--a mimicrose. The flower acts like a recorded, hiding a secret message, and blooms when it’s delivered to the right person

Your face lights up a gorgeous flattered color as you make your way down the trail compliments popping up every step

Asmo’s waiting at the end of the arches, looking like the cat that ate the canary with his catered spread. Sitting pretty on the classic checkered blanket.  

You only kind of hear the last rose confess--Asmo’s voice going quiet and shy as he swears he really, really loves you

The demon in front of you seems very far from that shy voice but you catch the tinge of pink on his cheeks. He saunters up to you and says something witty about how only he could be perfect for you, and that only perfect him could set all this up!

You two have a cute, quiet date with little cakes and finger foods

Diavolo sends Lucifer a text with a blurry photo saying he ‘photobombed’ you two, but doesn’t realize he has to be in the photo for it to count. Lucifer still thinks it’s a cute picture

Beelzebub:

It takes Beel a while to come around to the fact that he might like you

Not because he doesn’t like you, but because he’s equally comfy being friends. Friends are fine, too.

Even as a friend he still gets that giddy rush when he holds you, that flood of warmth when he impresses you, so for a while he thinks he has the best of both worlds

When that balance starts to feel threatened, the realization creeps in

Then he realizes there’s no going back and if he doesn’t say anything, you get caught up with other people and he’ll miss you. You just won’t be around as much anymore!

 When someone on the Fangol team starts getting a little too curious and close, the red flags go flying in Beel’s mind. He needs to tell you and tell you now!

Probably doesn’t have an extensive dating history and is, in general, the best sweet boi, so he’ll ask around for ideas. The second someone suggests a cupcake message or cake message, he’s done. No more ideas! That’s the best one!

To put his feelings in it, Beel decides to make the cupcakes himself. He buys enough to make 3 or 4 dozen cupcakes because he anticipates stress eating at least two batches

And the ugly ones. Can’t give you ugly ones!

He takes full advantage of Asmo or whoever getting you out of the house, throwing on a little apron and getting to work. Belphie supervises, occasionally scolding him

Beel eats a few cupcakes more than he’s supposed to and decides to draw frosting people so the space doesn’t feel empty

His frosting spelling isn’t that great. One of the words look weird. More than one, actually

Trying to write over it just makes extra frosting, unreadable globs

Beel eats that one, then realizes he messed up some of the topping, so he smooths it out and tries again

Belphie plays wingman, fully aware of his brother panicking over presentation and trying to spell (and not squeeze the life out of the frosting bag), and writes little love messages on the wrappers

It’s stuff he’s heard Beel say in his sleep for at least a week.

Beel resigns himself to a mash of cupcakes that are kind of readable and way less than what he planned to have. He doesn’t know Belphie’s done a gradual bait and switch of the cupcake liners since he’s eaten just as many as he’s made

You see a smiley face and the frosting people and it’s enough to melt your heart

Beel is speckled in flour and frosting (he’s got crumbs on the corner of his mouth), and he looks adorably awkward in the apron. He’s so nervous he’s in his demon form, wings buzzing frantically behind him.

It’s like he wants to take off and make nervous circles around you.

He stutters out an awkward ‘I like you’ and mumbles other things. Belphie, who’s curled up under the prep table, grumbles out ‘READ THE LINERS!’ before snuggling down again

You and Beel go on a cute little hunt to pick and read the wrappers, splitting cupcakes with each other.

At the end of it you’re very full and very happy. And Beel’s extra delighted because you smell (and taste) like cupcakes.

Belphegor

Does he like you like you, or just like the fact that you don’t bother him?

In his book, you’re not terrible. Not annoying. You don’t wake him up on purpose, and you seem to get along with Beel.

Not bad, right?

Maybe this means he just doesn’t have high standards?

He knows he wouldn’t mind napping with you. Maybe that means he likes you?

One night, when he’s hit that ‘slept all day’ high and he’s awake and thinking it over. He asks Beel about it because who else would know him better than his twin?

Then he learns. OH BOY DOES HE LEARN!

Apparently he talks about you in his sleep? And he blushes? CUDDLES THE PILLOW?

Beel is hardly worried about the threats, the finger pointing in his face, and the way he’s bobbing his head like a bull about to charge. It’s just standard little brother things! Very cute!

Belphegor feels bad and a little unworthy to date you. His sin is very taxing and he spends a lot of the time napping. Is it really a good idea?

It’s a heavy issue to think about, and he dreams.

Belphegor has always believed that dreams are a way for you to work out the issues you have when you’re awake, so he’s not surprised to dream about you

The dreams are so vivid, so heart-warming, and he’s so happy. It’s all about you and him--snippets of dates that he can’t completely see. He’s not sure where you’re at or what led up to the moments, but they’re all a happy, quiet cuddle that gives him more energy than he’s felt in a while

He knows, then, that he should at least ask you. When he gets his next burst of rested energy, he’s going to confess

Belphegor’s nearly scared straight out of bed when he sees you tentatively approaching it. He musters up enough concentration to hold a conversation and is VERY embarrassed to find he basically called you here

Almost like a subliminal message, or sharing a dream, you just simply had to come and tell him about the adorably awkward dream. It was very cuddly and kind of put you in a cuddling mood

Belphegor’s got a major case of sleep brain but it sounds like YOU actually just confessed

Plays the big card--go big or go home!--”If you like me, get in the bed.”

Realizes about 3 seconds later how that sounds. Is very embarrassed and wants to hide under his blankets and die. 

He’s already wormed under them and is firmly cocooned (so he doesn’t have to look you in the face or see if you stay) “You know...if you like me. Want to cuddle and stuff...like a couple...”

He feels your weight spread out along his bed and scoops you up like a blanket monster. It’s like being swallowed by a fitted sheet, blanket coming at you from all sides, and you both laugh about it.

Belphegor is a big fan of the private cuddle pile

[sokkastyles]

So a while back I saw this pretty inaccurate and by inaccurate I mean mind-numbingly stupid take that’s been grinding at my gears ever since I saw it so I’m just going to rant about it and then ask you what you think.

So, you know when Toph first joins Team Avatar, she’s having a hard time fitting in with the group, and Katara tells her that they usually all set up camp together, and so Toph tells her that she “carries her own weight” and would prefer it if she could just do the work she needed to do for herself and everyone else also do all the work they needed to do for themselves instead of everyone doing all of it together? This is pretty understandable considering that she not only grew up an only child (and as an only child let me tell you that a lot of us do prefer to work by ourselves a lot of the time and can get stressed out doing group work) but was essentially locked away in her own home and never allowed to socialize with anyone, period, let alone make friends her own age and learn how to collaborate with others. The only thing experience she had talking to other people besides her parents would be from the Earth Rumble, and needless to say what’s essentially the Avatar equivalent of WWE isn’t the best place for a 12 year old to build her social skills. Then there’s her fierce independent streak and aversion to accepting help from and feeling dependent on others, something instilled in her due to how her parents treated her because she was blind.

So this person claimed that the reason why Toph did not want to help Katara and the others set up camp was not, in fact, due to these reasons but rather due to her “classist belief that she did not have to do any work and those of a lower socioeconomic background than her should be expected to serve her.” (And just you wait, this isn’t even the worst part of the post, there’s way more.) First of all, Toph was HAPPY to do work, she just wanted to do her OWN work and have everyone else do THEIR own work too. It’s not like she made everyone else set up camp for her. She set up her own camp and let the others set up theirs. She didn’t expect anybody to serve her, that’s just blatantly untrue. This person made it sound like she was bossing everyone around and calling them “peasants” or something. They claimed that there’s apparently “a lot of inherent classism in the way Toph interacts with the rest of Team Avatar.” No? There really isn’t? AND ALSO SHE LEARNT HER LESSON BY THE END OF THE EPISODE AND STARTED WORKING AS A TEAM WITH THEM!!

They also claimed that the reason why Toph was initially annoyed by Katara was also due to her supposed “classism” as well as her “internalized misogyny.” First of all, the reason why Toph was initially annoyed by Katara was because she projected her strained relationship with her overbearing mother onto her due to the fact that Katara is the de facto caregiver of Team Avatar. That’s it. That’s the 100% canonical, undisputable, undebatable reason. They literally spell it out for you in the episode “The Runaway.” I’m not saying it’s okay for her to do that, but that is the reason why she was sometimes annoyed by Katara, not because she was “classist” or “misogynistic.” I also believe that her distaste for conventional femininity probably stems more from the way she associates it with the life she ran away from as well as the fact that it’s largely inaccessible to her due to her blindness. This person literally said, and I quote, “Toph is being classist, misogynistic, and homophobic here.” My god. I guess I can see where you get classist and misogynistic from even if I don’t quite agree with it, but homophobic? Come on. Homophobia is the hatred of gay people. Show me ONE instance where Toph expressed a hatred for gay people. Oh wait, you can’t, because that never happened. Stop throwing around buzzwords just because you can, it lessens their significance and seriousness. Also, KATARA AND TOPH ARE FRIENDS THEY’RE VERY CLOSE FRIENDS AND EVERY TIME THEY FOUGHT THEY MADE UP AND APOLOGIZED AND CHANGED THEIR BEHAVIOUR BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH GOOD PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER MY GOD DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE SHOW BECAUSE YOU ENJOY IT OR DID YOU JUST GO INTO IT PURPOSELY LOOKING FOR THINGS TO BE MAD ABOUT?

So yeah. I love Toph, I love Katara, and I love their friendship. They’re both huge comfort characters for me. That post was 100% grasping for straws and really rubbed me the wrong way because it almost felt like the OP was willfully misinterpreting Toph and Katara’s dynamic because they were looking for woke points and liked the rush they get out of going “popular thing bad, actually” and it felt very disrespectful to both of their characters and their friendship.

I absolutely agree with you about people being contradictory for woke points and I have seen these takes before. Tumblr social justice circles are also in general really bad at acknowledging ableism in general and misogyny against girls and women who don't perform traditional femininity and Toph lives at the intersection of both and is a wildly popular character. And as a disabled woman I find these takes to be really off base. As you said, Katara and Toph are friends and they worked it out in the end, and these issues canonically stem from both Toph's experiences of abuse because of being a disabled girl and Katara's need to mother other people because of her own trauma, and both of these perspectives are sympathetic and they both had to adjust their worldview a little bit. I identify a lot with Toph's desire to be taken seriously both as a person and as a woman, the latter you do see in "Tales of Ba Sing Se." Toph very clearly does not hate femininity, she wants to be seen as pretty and looks to Katara for validation because Katara is a feminine girl, but she also struggles with being able to perform femininity. She also is just not that comfortable with it, and that's okay. Like Toph, I can sometimes enjoy getting made up but it's not something I can do every day without help.

I love her and Katara's Ba Sing Se segment because it shows so well the kind of misogyny Toph experiences. The reason the other girls make fun of Toph is because she very obviously did not do her makeup herself, and this reflects on her performance of femininity. Women are supposed to perform femininity in a way that it is both perfect and appears effortless. When I go and get my eye makeup done because I can't see well enough and don't have a steady enough hand to do it myself, you can tell that I didn't do it myself. I look like Toph. I love that that episode affirms both that Toph is pretty AND that she doesn't have to be.

And Katara, the "Runaway" pretty clearly validates Katara and shows that Toph appreciates Katara's "mothering" and that she looks up to her. As younger girls are wont to do with older girls. And Katara is right about Toph missing her mom but she also realizes that Toph needs that older female figure in her life.

It also really bothers me when people pull the classism card to talk about disabled characters. I have seen it elsewhere and I have seen it in atla fandom with Toph and Zuko. Both also are fiercely independent because they struggle to be taken seriously by abusive families. To see that struggle reduced to "Oh, they just don't want to work/are ignorant because of classism" feels very ableist. People will belittle the accomplishments of these characters because they're privileged. Which, yes, they are, in some ways, but privilege is not a dirty word and you also have to recognize what privileges they lack. And in both cases, their class privilege was actually tied to the way they were abused. If Toph wasn't born into a wealthy family, she might have been subject to other forms of abuse. And Zuko...it's a miracle that Zuko survived to see his teen years considering the household he grew up in.

As for the issue between Katara and Toph, Katara has also made comments towards Toph that could be interpreted as ableism and misogyny, but like you said, at the end of the day, they are friends who deeply care about each other, so pitting them against each other like this over issues that are complex and also resolved within the series seems like just grasping for something to start discourse about.

[acefeather2002]

Love: Something That Is Quite Ineffable (CATS 1998)

We try our best to understand the true meaning of things in our lives. It’s in our nature. Everyone wonders how somethings happen or even why. Sometimes we get an answer, and we can finally understand. But, sometimes we don’t, and we continue to ponder. There is one thing that everyone knows about, somewhat understands, but can never truly be put into words, and that thing is “Love.”

For some people, Love likes to come in, make friends, and live happily ever after. At least, that’s how it went for Plato. A young tom and protector-in-training in his adolescent years. A little goofy, but he’s serious when he needs to be. He makes a few mistakes, but has a good heart nonetheless. Having tagged along Munkustrap and Alonzo since he was a small kit, he had always dreamed of being a protector and truly be able to defend his tribe one day. He has indeed come a long way, taking every tip and word of advice from his mentors and putting them to work.

He just came back from patrol with Alonzo one day when he first met a stunningly beautiful white kitten that was a couple of cat years younger than him. He couldn’t help but stare at the pure white angel that gracefully danced in the open space of the junkyard. Alonzo noticed his gaze, and a smug smirk glided onto his face. “I take it you have the hots for my little sister, huh?” he teased. Plato did a double take to his mentor in surprise and asked in shock, “Wait, what?! That’s your SISTER?!”

Alonzo gave a hearty laugh at the younger tom’s reaction as the latter looked down with a blush. He finally responded from his laughing fit, “Yeah, she is. Beautiful isn’t she?” Plato gave a silent nod as stared back to where the white queen practiced. The kit turned and saw her brother and another tom she didn’t recognize watching her. She gave a smile and gentle wave as she quickly ran over to give her big brother a hug. Alonzo chuckled again at his sister’s antics that he and Plato found adorable before greeting, “Hello to you too, Victoria.” 

“Victoria?” the soon-to-be-protector repeated, “That’s a lovely name.” The queen in question looked up at him and signed a “Thank you.” Plato, of course understood the signing but still gave a slightly confused face. Alonzo noticed his bewilderment as he shyly explained, “Sorry, there was a...complication during her birth that didn’t allow her vocal cords to be fully developed." Victoria looked down a bit, worried that the tom would pity her as her brother continued, "So, ever since she was a newborn, she’s been mute. The main way she communicates is through signing and dance.” 

Plato nodded in understanding but then surprised the two siblings with a smile, “Good thing I studied signing in my spare time.” The two gaped in shock at the revelation, and Victoria excitedly wrapped her arms around his neck with a grin. Plato returned the strong hug just as tight but gentle with a small smile as his mentor watched with a bright and knowing smirk. He watched as the two started talking, or rather signing a conversation, learning more about each other all the while with happy faces. The monochromatic tom walked away and let the two get to know each other more, clearly seeing where this relationship was going and already accepting it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah. Love can be friendly sometimes...

But, sometimes, Love can be a total jerk! It could string you along forever if it wanted to! Stuck in an almost endless chase, but luckily, there are times when you finally catch it. Take the Rum Tum Tugger for example. He always has queens throwing themselves at his feet willing if able to do his bidding just to be his. What they tend to forget, though, is that the Rum Tum Tugger only likes what he finds for himself. He likes to work for his prize. He enjoys the challenge almost as much as a horrible muddle. Well, apparently, it seems the Rum Tum Tugger has finally met his match. The challenge: the Magical Mister Mistoffelees. 

Skilled and talented at everything he does: Check. Sleek, dark black fur that sparkles like the night sky: Check. A sharp tongue that could cut anybody that crosses him with his sass: Triple check!!! Quaxo was everything Tugger dreamed of, and he didn’t even realize it until his song came on and he was called “a terrible bore” by the smaller tuxedo for the first time. Ever since then, he’d been chasing after the magical tom. Unfortunately for him, nothing worked. Every hip thrust only got a scoff in response. Every pick-up line earned him an eye roll. Each time he tried to flirt, the reply would be of remarkable wit and sass that he sometimes wouldn’t know what to say. He was losing his touch...and confidence! What shocked him even more was the day he overheard Mistoffelees talking to his sister, Victoria.

“Come on, Vicky,” the tux tom complained, “It’s obvious that you have a better chance with him than I ever would! And you’re with that Plato character!” “Geez, Quaxo how oblivious are you?” the white queen signed exasperatedly. “I am NOT oblivious!” the magicat argued, “Almost every queen throws themselves at his feet. He could choose any one of you if not all if he wanted!” Victoria gave a sigh and facepawed(Hehe. Get it? Sorry, I’ll stop now). Tugger had to keep from laughing at the exchange but felt discouraged to know that Misto had his heart for another tom until, “What? You actually think I have a remote chance with the Rum Tum Tugger himself?” 

For what Victoria’s face didn’t say, which wasn’t much, her signing made up for, “YES! That’s what I’ve been TRYING to tell you for the last HALF HOUR! THINK about it! The pick-up lines, the flirting, the hip thrusts. He may do that with the other queens, but for YOU? You’re the ONLY TOM he’s ever tried to actually woo. The more he chases you, the more you resist which adds on to the ever growing challenge that HE LIKES!”

Mistoffelees fell silent for a moment and pondered his sister's words. Thinking back, how could he have missed the signs? The occasional stolen side glances, the light blush in both their cheeks when interacting with each other, he even realized that he actually missed the company of the Rum Tum Tugger himself when they were apart! That just added more to the shock factor! "Oh, my Everlasting!" he exclaimed as he facepawed, "You're right! How could I have missed this?!" "Because you're an oblivious, lovesick dork, and I knew I was right when I told you," the queen signed with a smug look on her features.

The tuxedo rolled his eyes playfully annoyed, "Gee, thanks," he replied, dripping with sarcasm before being serious, "I guess I have to find him again. Maybe tell him how I feel?" Realizing the way that idea would likely pan out, he let out a groan laid his face in his paws, "Oh, but then he'll just shrug it off like, 'I knew you'd fall for me one day,' and that's the last reaction that I need!" Victoria laid a paw on her brother's shoulder, urging him to look at her before signing, "I think you should just let him come to you, and once he asks you to be his mate (in his own way, no doubt) then you could say yes." Quaxo looked down again in thought and agreed the idea to be the best course of action. No sooner did he nod when the Maine coon of the matter decided to reveal himself.

"Well," he announced, "There you are, Midnight. I've been looking for you everywhere! Hello, Victoria." He ended his statement with a kiss to the queen's paw and flirty smirk, a shy but silent giggle and rosy cheeks accenting her pure white fur. "T-Tugger!" Misto called out a light blush painting his own cheeks, "What a coincidence because I've been avoiding you everywhere!" "Oh, come off it. You know you love me," the flirty tom teased as he stood closer to him with an overly cocky smirk. The magical cat subtly glanced to his sister in the corner of his eye and saw her nod in understanding and encouragement. "Yeah? Well, what if I do?" he asked, not wanting to give in entirely yet. Tugger stood in mock surprise, knowing full well what the smaller male is trying to pull.

Okay, he'll play along.

"Well, what if I asked you to go on a hunt with me?" "And what if I said yes?" "Then perhaps I could ask you to go to this year's Jellicle Ball with me, too?" "And say that I do go to the ball with you?" "Then maybe I ask you for the mating dance." "But, wouldn't that make us mates?" "Only if you said yes." "But would you really want to do the Mating Dance with me, though?" Tugger stood shocked at the question. His immediate answer was yes, obviously, but this is the Mating Dance which meant commitment to a singular cat alone. Even so, his answer was still, "Yes."

It was now Mistoffelees' turn to be shocked, and for once, he didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent as the tom in front of him continued, "More than anything or anyone else in the tribe. In the world. I know I usually act all flirty and brash and indecisive. And, to be honest, I do have commitment issues (which shouldn't really come as a surprise), but I've never been more sure about anything or anyone as I am about you. I want to stay committed to you, and you make me want to stay committed, too. If you'll just give me a chance, I can show you how much I mean it and how much you mean to me."

Victoria watched the whole exchange from the side with anticipation and nervousness (and blinked back the tears in her eyes from the emotional speech). Mistoffelees stayed silent for a moment more before uttering quietly, "Alright. I'll give you a chance. Yes, I'll go on a hunt with you. Yes, I'll go to the ball with you, and yes, I'll even do the Mating Dance with you. Yes." The Rum Tum Tugger beamed ecstatically as he picked up the tuxedo tom around the waist and spun him around the area a little with a joyful laugh bubbling from them both. Once he placed down the other tom, Victoria ran over and hugged them both, a grin splitting her face in two as she was excited to see how her brother's new relationship would grow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, as you can see, Love can be friendly. Love can be a tease. But, consider the idea that Love could be a saving grace, too. That was Demeter’s story. She found herself in a dark room. Turning in circles, she frantically scanned her surroundings, noticing all the familiar aspects of the room. The place was a mess with cardboard boxes all over and covered in dust and a few covered and torn pieces of furniture here and there. The air reeked of ash and smoke. It was cold and intimidatingly uninviting. But, the icing on the cake was the spine-chilling voice that whispered behind her ear. 

“Hello, darling. So good to have you back,” the voice said menacingly. The golden queen jumped away and turned to see the Hidden Paw himself, Macavity. The ginger cat bore a sinister smirk on his face, his dark eyes flaming with lust and evil desire. Demeter cowered back, fear and anger filling her own green eyes as she spat back, “What do you want with me? Why have you brought me back?!” “I brought back what was rightfully mine,” the criminal cat  stated matter-of-factly, “You were the sheep that left the herd, and I was the shepherd that had to fetch you and bring you back.”

“I’m no sheep, and you’d never be my shepherd if I ever were one!” the nervous queen uttered coldly. Macavity clicked his tongue in scoldingly, “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Why so harsh, my stunning goddess?” he leaned close to her ear, causing her to freeze in place, “Think back to those nights. You and I both know that you actually enjoyed the nights we had such fun! Why the cold company? I know you still love me, and you still want me more than anyone.” He used the tip of his tail to guide her face to look at him. When their gazes met, all she saw was fire burning and evil intent. “You just wanted to mess with me with that terrible prank of acting like you fell for my uptight, pitiful excuse of a brother. You just wanted to make me jealous.” Still frozen in fear, Demeter found that she’d also lost her voice. She couldn’t say anything, even though none of it was true. She could barely even squeak a noise when the Napoleon of Crime leaned into her neck and whispered darkly.

“Well...it worked.”

He bit down on her neck, and she let out a scream of pain as she began scratching and clawing at different areas of his body to get him to stop. He soon released from the bite, taking pride in the mark left behind, shoved her to the floor on her back, and pinned down her arms over her head. “You’re mine,” he demanded dominantly, “You always have been, and you always will be. You’ll never escape me no matter how long or how far you run. I’ll always fetch my sheep!”

“NO!” Demeter screamed out as she sat up in her bed. “Demeter, it’s okay! It’s okay. I’m here! I’m right here. It’s okay.” The golden queen turned to her right to see her silver knight, Munkustrap pulling her to his chest. It was still the middle of the night. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her breathing was ragged and shaky as if she was crying. She WAS crying. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed into her mate’s strong chest. Munkustrap held her close, adjusting to where she could listen to his heartbeat, knowing that the steadiness and constance would calm her and provide a focus before she’d fall into a panic attack. 

The silver tom started humming a tune, allowing his baritone voice to vibrate through his chest. No true song in particular, but a tune that they both knew and shared with just each other in times where one of them was overwhelmed mentally, physically, or emotionally. Five minutes later, as he stroked the back of her head, Demeter let out one more sniffle before taking a deep breath to show she’d truly calmed down. “Are you alright, dear?” Munkustrap asked cautiously. The queen in question looked up at the tabby tom with glossed eyes, the moon shining through the window and causing them to sparkle. She looked down again before finally answering, “Yes. I’m sorry if I worried you. It was just a nightmare. You should get back to sleep. You have patrol the next morning.” “Part of my roll as Protector is to protect everyone in the tribe from any danger, and that especially includes you,” the Protector explained, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Not wanting to relive the terrible dream, all she said was, “It was about him.” Munkustrap nodded in understanding as to why she’d left it at that, but he couldn’t leave her in this state. “Just know this then, dear: The only thing that my brother is right about is that you are definitely worth fighting for. You’re not a prize. You’re not a possession. You’re not anyone’s toy that they can get rid of when they get bored. But, you ARE my pride and joy. I love you, and nothing will change that. I’ll always be there to protect you, and I’ll always find a way to save you. No matter what. Don’t forget that.” Another tear slowly dripped from her eye as Demeter nuzzled her head into Munkustrap’s neck and uttered quietly, “I love you too.”

The silver tom laid them both back down and pulled up the blanket to cover them, and the two snuggled close together purring in comfort before dozing off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See, Love is a strange and quite mysterious thing. It can be tender and sweet or feisty and improbable. We can’t truly understand the full concept of Love, but if we work with proper guidance, we can find our best interpretation of Love. And, when we do find it, the amount of happiness brought with it is something quite ineffable.

[everybodyscupoftea]

you are the music in me

rafe x reader

five times rafe shows you a song, and one time you show him

holy cow who let me do this:

okay huge thanks to @travisgermy​ who stayed up forever with me picking out songs one night, the list of “maybe this” or “idk does this fit the vibe” is insanely long but i think i got it right.

i’m very very proud of my playlists and my taste in music. music is also very important to me, so i decided to write this because if a man ever came to me and said “this song made me think of you,” i might marry him on the spot

finally, thanks to my two very good friends for encouraging me and reading it over @sunnypogue​ and @moldisgoodforyou​ you guys are the best

little warning: there’s some cursing

(also i tried to link the songs to the titles so you can click and listen while reading that part)

You met Rafe freshman year in an auditorium size Intro to Theater elective. He was giving off huge ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibes and sitting alone in the top left corner of the room, pretty far away from everyone else. Not only was the lack of people appealing, but the rumpled boy with headphones in, chugging coffee, was cute.

Orientation was scheduled late for you, and theater was the elective you opted to take when all the music classes were filled. Unfortunately, scheduling last meant most of the seats were full anyway, and you had no choice but take it at 8 a.m.

It was easy at first, barely any work involved and minimal notes. You basically just had to show up and fill a seat for attendance. And then the ‘acting’ unit started and your professor, who had been your favorite until then, threw a partner project and suddenly the ‘not talk to anyone’ strategy you’d been employing backfired.

Holding in a groan, you looked over the lines of dialogue he’d given out with the instructions, “Make it your own.” People all around you were moving and chatting with the people they’d talked to in class already and you felt frozen. Until headphone boy suddenly sat down next to you.

“Wanna partner up?” he asked after a long sip of coffee.

“Oh, um, yeah, that’d be great.”

Thus, the shaky alliance formed. He was a little closed off at first, but you managed to get to know him a little more, and by the end of the semester, you’d even call the two of you friends. It was really solidified when he texted you first a few times over winter break.

Rafe was really easy to talk to, he had his own amount of trauma that he didn’t really talk much about unless it related to an issue you were going through and he felt his experience could relate to yours and comfort you. It was really nice, having a support system away from home in this new college town where you didn’t know anyone.

Study sessions together turned to lunches together turned to dinners together. He became your permanent bar buddy and you always felt safe with his steady presence nearby. You’d never really known anyone quite like him and it was exhilarating being with him all the time.

Where Rafe really excelled was music. He constantly had headphones in when walking around campus, when the two of you studied, and when you went to the gym together. It didn’t bother you, it wasn’t rude, he just liked it and he knew so much about artists and bands you’d never heard of. It was how he best communicated.

One: Let Me Down Slowly

Fall of sophomore year, you started seeing a guy in your literature class. It wasn’t like a super romantic thing, it started with just sleeping together after a football game to occasional dinners when you weren’t with Rafe.

His name was Brian and Rafe hated him. Casual sex was hard for you, separating feelings and intimacy wasn’t your style, but for Brian you tried really hard. It failed, just like Rafe warned you it would, but you vowed to keep faking it anyway.

Eventually, Brian, during dinner, asked if you had been seeing anyone else. You hadn’t, of course, and told him so. He seemed pleased and you thought that meant he wasn’t either. Where you went wrong was not actually getting clarification on that point.

He invited you to a party one Friday night, and you decided to go. Rafe was in your dorm room, watching you get dressed, as you chattered on about finally being official with Brian and this being the two of you’s big moment as a couple finally.

Rafe sat cross-legged on your bed, barely concealing his contempt toward Brian, but you ignored it, pushing through. Once you deemed yourself ready, you turned to Rafe, holding out your necklace to him, “Can you help me put this on?”

He sighed and hopped off your bed. Taking the necklace from your hand, he gently turned you around and stepped closer, brushing all your hair to one side. The metal was cold when it hit your collarbone and you shivered a little.

Rafe’s fingers danced over your neck as he fastened the chain and fixed your hair back. Putting both hands on your shoulders, he squeezed a little and smiled at you in the mirror, “Knock ‘em dead, gorgeous.”

Before you could respond, Brian texted you that he was parked outside, waiting for you. With a nervous exhale, you held your fist out for Rafe to bump, “Thanks for keeping me company, Cameron.”

He smiled and gently bumped your knuckles, “Anytime, bud.” You didn’t see his smile slip a little as you left the room.

Brian was blasting some club remix he frequently listened to when you got into this car. He smiled at you, leaning in for a kiss, “Ready, babe?”

“Ready,” you told him, buckling in.

The party wasn’t anything new or special, you’d been to many just like it, but it felt different. You weren’t sure what it was, maybe that you were finally officially on Brian’s arm, but the air felt odd.

Excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, you pulled out your phone to check and see if Rafe had texted you. He had, something short reassuring you that if you needed a ride home later, he’d be up. You breathed out a sigh of relief because Brian had started drinking the moment the two of you stepped in the door and you weren’t sure how he planned on getting you home.

Leaning forward and bracing yourself on the counter, you stared at yourself in the mirror. With an annoyed sigh, you hissed, “Get it together, bitch. This is supposed to be your night.”

And with that, you left the bathroom. Only to find Brian making out with some girl you’d never seen before on the couch. Which really fucking hurt. You didn’t even really know what to do, you’d only been dating for a few weeks, but you’d been emotionally connected to him for much longer.

Tears you didn’t want rose in your eyes as you stared frozen at the two of them groping each other. One of Brian’s friends that you’d met a few times caught your eye. His widened and he shook Brian’s shoulder. Brian, hazy eyed, pulled away and saw you standing there, clearly hurt.

He jumped up, fear in his eyes, and you backed away, shaking your head. You weren’t sure if he chased you, you hightailed it out of the house and down the street, wanting nothing more than to get out of there. Pity was the last thing you wanted from him or his asshole friends who did nothing to stop him.

By the time you’d gotten far enough away that you didn’t hear the music anymore, the cold had set in and you were shivering. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you sniffled several times, trying to get it together. Unfortunately, your tears refused to listen and streamed down your cheeks, not slowing in the slightest.

Suddenly, your phone vibrated, a text from Rafe telling you he’d made it to season four of the show you recommended him and that season three’s finale had been heartbreaking.

How could you not give me even a little heads up, what the fuck

You choked out a laugh through the tears and hit call before thinking about how he’d definitely be able to tell something was up from your voice.

“Hey,” he answered, sounding a little concerned, “you still at the party?”

“Um, not really,” you said, trying to not give away your crying.

It didn’t work, you heard rustling in the background as he asked, “Where are you? Better yet, where’s Brian?”

You sighed, “Probably fucking whatever chick I caught him making out with.”

Rafe cursed lowly before saying, “Send me your location and I’ll come pick you up.”

Hanging up, you sent it to him and sat down on the sidewalk, pulling your knees to your chest. You kind of didn’t want to see Rafe because you didn’t really want the ‘I told you so’ likely to come as soon as you got in the car.

He pulled up, not too long after your tears stopped, and you hopped up to get into the passenger side. You weren’t expecting him to throw it in park and jog around to wrap you into a tight hug before you could get in. It took you by surprise, but it wasn’t unwelcome. After getting over your shock, you squeezed him back tightly, cherishing the unusual show of affection.

It brought the tears back and you sniffled a few times, burying your face into his chest. Rafe held you tightly until you got ahold of yourself again and then pulled the door open to help you into his truck. While it wasn’t unusual for him to do, you couldn’t help but notice for the first time, that it was something Brian never did.

Before you could buckle up, he grabbed one of his sweatshirts off the backseat and handed it to you.

“How are you feeling right now, bud? Do you want to wallow for a bit or do you want to say ‘fuck him’ and move on?”

You sighed, “I don’t know, kinda in the mood to wallow right now.”

Rafe cranked up the heat and nodded before pulling up his Spotify to pick something out. A familiar sounding song started playing and he looked over at you, “This song really encompasses the lonely feeling of wanting someone, great for wallowing.”

You sniffled a few times and turned the volume up before sinking back into the seat. He smiled at you gently and started driving down the street. The words started up and you couldn’t stop the tears anymore.

Don’t cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste

Rafe tapped his thumb against the steering wheel to the song as he drove. You quickly recognized his route to the coffee shop the two of you go to. Wiping your nose on the hoodie sleeve, you finally spoke up, “It’s closed.”

“Huh?” he asked, glancing over at you quickly before focusing on the road again.

“Coco Bean, it’s closed.”

“I’m just driving, no destination.”

“Oh,” you said, tuning into the song again.

Could you find a way to let me down slowly / a little sympathy, I hope you can show me / if you wanna go then I’ll be so lonely / if you’re leaving baby let me down slowly

With a long, shuddering sigh, you melted back into the seat and let Rafe drive. You were a little startled when he started to sing softly. He’d hummed in front of you but never sang, and he actually had a pretty good voice.

And I can’t stop myself from falling down

Twisting your fingers through the hem of the sweatshirt, you tilted your head to lean against the cold window as the song started its last bit.

Now I’m slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace / so please, please / could you find a way to let me down slowly

Rafe switched to something slightly more upbeat as you tried to pull yourself together. The two of you drove around for hours, songs switching from upbeat to sad, enough to keep you interested.

“One last song,” he told you, around 3 a.m. and All I Want started up. Rafe had showed you that one before. He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing tightly for a few seconds before adding, “Brian’s a dick and you deserve better.”

You squeezed back and nodded, not really knowing what to say.

Two: I’m Good

You’d stubbornly avoided Rate My Professor when trying to schedule a bio class, which was turning out to be a pretty hefty mistake. The guy you picked, mostly because of the 10 a.m. time slot, was a disaster. His teaching style didn’t match your learning style and he barely taught the information he used on the test anyway.

Needless to say, you bombed the first one. Like not a dramatic, ‘I bombed it’ and it turning out to be a C. Like a serious 40%. You weren’t sure how you made it through the rest of your classes, maybe adrenaline or just the pure stubbornness to not have a very public breakdown, but you sent Rafe a very vague text blowing off lunch and went straight to your room.

Face planting onto your bed, you shut your phone off, totally content to not talk to anyone for at least another day. Hours could’ve passed before you finally rolled onto your side, you weren’t sure what time in was, all you knew was that your stomach was growling.

At some point during your wallowing, you roommate had come home, and it had gotten dark outside. All of your weekend plans flew straight out the window and the idea of doing any work when clearly it would be pointless anyway was nauseating.

Eventually, you fell into a restless sleep, dreaming about failing classes and angry bio teachers trying to break your fingers until you finally understood cellular respiration. It was easily one of the worst nights you’d ever had, and by the time the sun rose, you were ready to just stop thinking.

You knew your roommate would eventually come into your room to ask about getting brunch, or to just see what you had planned for the day, but you really didn’t want to see her. What you didn’t expect when your door was finally pushed open, was to see Rafe standing there, holding a bag of food.

“Hey, bud,” he spoke softly, walking slowly toward your bed, “you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” you asked, voice cracking.

Rafe laughed, “No, you don’t. But I did bring your favorite.”

You perked up a little, looking at the bag curiously, “Chicken caesar wrap?”

“Yes ma’am. Would you like to join me on a walk?”

You sighed, but getting out of the room with Rafe sounded kind of good, so you stood and put on a pair of slides, not wanting to put in the effort of actual shoes. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders while the two of you walked down the hallway, and you cherished the closeness.

“What happened?” he finally asked, as the two of you made it out the building and over to a bench outside.

“I failed my test. I don’t know what happened, none of the material he taught was on the test and I just don’t know how to study for that.”

Rafe handed you half of the wrap and let you rest your head on his shoulder before speaking, “Did you check Quizlet, maybe someone who’s already taken it posted something for you to use.”

You shrugged while taking a bite, “Maybe. I mean I know I can come back from this, he drops the lowest test, but I don’t know, I’ve never gotten a grade that bad. It’s so discouraging and I just lost all motivation to do anything.”

He hummed softly and pulled his phone out. After scrolling for a few seconds, he offered you a headphone with a smile, “Maybe this will help.”

Trying to figure out who I am / or who I’m supposed to be / feel good about where I stand / so I can make the most of me

You drummed your fingers on Rafe’s knee to the uplifting beat. He bumped your shoulders together and started eating the other half of the wrap.

You only live once / I’m good with myself / I’m there for my friends / til the very end

Rafe reached out to lace his fingers through yours, catching your attention, before saying, “You know I’ve always got you right?”

You nodded, tears rising for the first time since the numbness gripped you, “Yeah, Cameron, I know.”

I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good / living life just like I should / wouldn’t change it if I could / I’m good, I’m good, I’m good

When the song ended, you lifted your head up and finished your half of the wrap. Rafe paused the next song playing and smiled down at you gently, “You are the smartest person I’ve ever met, if anyone can beat this asshole bio professor, it’s you.”

“I am pretty smart, huh?”

He didn’t answer, just laughed and leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. You didn’t know what you could do without him.

Three: Blood // Water

It got out of hand before you could stop it. You were tired all the time because of work and your roommate was stressed from school, and her new boyfriend was a huge slob. He used your utilities and ate your food and didn’t pay a lick of rent.

You’d been fuming about it for months, but it really came to head when you realized how often he was staying over and she wasn’t giving you a heads up. One afternoon, you were watching TV on the couch, a rare free afternoon that you wanted to spend in your underwear, no one was home anyway. So you thought.

Your roommate had class, but she’d let her boyfriend in and he’d been sitting in her room without you knowing. Just as you settled in, her door flew open and you shrieked, grabbing for the nearest blanket to cover yourself up with. He stared at you, mouth hanging open.

“Dude, stop fucking looking, what the fuck?!” you yelled, and he slapped a hand over his eyes. Taking the opportunity, you ran to your room and slammed the door shut. He had to go, the boyfriend either needed to stop living rent free or stay out of your personal space.

By the time your roommate made it home, you’d had time to get yourself really really worked up, and you were ready for a fucking fight. Rafe had called at some point and tried to calm you down, but talking it out with him only made you angrier, and he eventually gave up, telling you to not let her walk all over you.

She walked in and toward her room, but you stopped her right outside it by clearing your throat. Maybe, for a more constructive conversation, you could’ve started it better, but you went straight in with, “So do I need to buy Marcus a housewarming gift or is he going to live somewhere else anytime soon?”

She frowned at you, “What?”

“I’m not paying 50% of the rent if your boyfriend is gonna be here as much as I am. I’ll gladly play a third of the rent, but I’m gonna need him to contribute if he’s going to use my hot water and eat my food.”

Your roommate took a defensive stance, “He’s not here that much.”

“Oh yeah? Well then why did I go to wash my work uniform, only to find his shit in the washing machine?”

“That was a one-time thing, he stayed over a few nights and ran out of clothes.”

Fists tightening, you drew yourself up, “Okay, tell me, when’s the last time he went home?”

She paused to think and you nodded, emphasizing your point. Before either of you could say anything else, there was a knock at your door. Your roommate opened it and saw Rafe standing outside. With a huff, she turned back to you, “Well while we’re at it, talking about boys being over all the time, what about Rafe?”

Your jaw dropped, “Rafe isn’t eating your food and showering at 3 a.m. and WALKING OUT WHILE YOU’RE SITTING IN YOUR UNDERWEAR.”

Rafe’s eyes widened, he’d never heard you yell like that before, it was rattling. Your roommate had, but never at her, and she looked taken aback before narrowing her eyes, “Why the fuck were you just sitting in your underwear?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I not allowed to do that in the comfort of my own home?”

“Not when Marcus is around.”

You threw your hands up, “That’s the fucking point! I never know when he’s around or isn’t because you don’t have the courtesy to give me the heads up!”

She stepped closer to you as if to shove you, but Rafe stepped between the two of you, putting both of his hands on your shoulders, “Hey, bud, hey, look at me, okay?”

You fought against him, trying to get another look at your roommate, “Never compare that asshole to Rafe, at least Rafe can hold a fucking conversation. You’re dating a piece of wet cardboard.”

“Babe,” Rafe warned you.

“Babe,” she mimicked in a high-pitched voice, “you do everything he tells you to, doormat?”

Rafe’s hands tensed on your shoulders and he narrowed his eyes, “Marcus, better get your ass out here and help me. You’re the root of the whole fucking problem.”

Her bedroom door opened slowly and a very sheepish looking Marcus stood there with a pair of her shoes in hand, “Let’s go for a drive, huh?”

Rafe kept you in place until the other two had left and you sagged into his hold. You couldn’t stop the tears that started falling as soon as the door slammed shut, and Rafe pulled you into a hug. He stroked your hair, “You’re just tired, babe, it’s going to be okay.”

You sniffled pathetically, “Why won’t she just be fucking accommodating.”

He pulled you behind him to your room and shut the door behind you. It was nighttime, and the room went dark immediately, until Rafe turned on the fairy lights you had hanging around your bed. He sat down and patted the empty spot next to him, “You remember when you called me to come hang these damn lights up?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, “Yeah, you hated me for it.”

“I didn’t hate you, but I wasn’t thrilled.”

Leaning into his side, you sighed, “Did I just fuck things up?”

Rafe wrapped his arms around you and laid down, arranging the two of you on the bed so that you were partially on top of him before he spoke, “I don’t think so. Y’all have been friends for so long, I’m sure she’ll come around.”

You played with his shirtsleeve for a few seconds before looking up at his face. He was already looking down at you, soft smile on his lips, and you stuck your tongue out playfully at him. Rafe laughed and lifted his hips up to fish his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh, you got a song for me?” you asked, leaning further onto him.

“Maybe. You want some angry vibes?”

“Hmmm, I think so, yeah.”

He picked a song after a few seconds and laid back fully, shutting his eyes while you started to hum along. It was catchy.

Look me in my eyes / tell me everything’s not fine / or the people ain’t happy / and the river has run dry

Rafe smiled with his eyes closed as you climbed off the bed to start jumping around. All your angry energy started to drain as you read from the lyrics on your phone.

The price of your greed / is your son and your daughter / what you gon’ do / when there’s blood in the water

You grabbed his arm, trying to pull him up to jump around with you, but you weren’t nearly strong enough. Rafe laughed at you, eyes finally open again, until you huffed and tossed his arm back. He stayed down watching you as the song built.

I am the people / I am the storm / I am the riot / I am the swarm / when the last’s tree’s fallen / the animal can’t hide / money won’t solve it / what’s your alibi

It was probably for the best your roommate had left because if she was still there, she’d be furious with your screaming. By the time the song ended, you were breathing heavily and Rafe was laughing. Collapsing on top of him, you tried to catch your breath.

Rafe brushed an errant strand of hair out of your face, “That was beautiful, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled, “Felt good, thanks for the assist, Cameron.”

The smile slowly fell from his lips as he kept staring at you, and you were confused. Before you could ask what was wrong, he shut his eyes and leaned up to kiss you.

It wasn’t totally unexpected. You’d thought about it a few times, and you were pretty sure he had too, but he’d never said anything, so you figured it was out of the question. So, while you weren’t prepared, you were happily surprised.

After a few seconds to work through the shock, you started kissing him back. He kept it short, you figured he would with emotions running as high as they were in you.

“Anytime,” he told you, brushing your lips with his thumb.

Four: Let You Down

Your boss informed you that there was nothing that could be done. That the department was going through budget cuts and they’d be laying people off. Unfortunately, since you were the youngest, you were the first to go.

The early shift was your normal gig, you always woke up around 5 a.m. to get ready and get coffee, and that morning, you woke up to a missed call and a message from your boss. Rafe was still sleeping, so you unplugged your phone and took it with you to the kitchen to listen to the message while you made coffee.

After turning the kettle on, you brought the phone to your ear, and immediately regretted it. You missed the first part of the message, but got the gist from, “So sorry to have to let you go, with the cuts in our department, we have to make hard decisions- “

And you didn’t really care to hear the rest. Three years of your life wasted on that place that promised you a job post-grad, and then just cut the rope. Your hands were shaking and you shut the kettle off, deciding to just go back to bed and cuddle with Rafe until his alarm went off.

Unfortunately, Rafe was a light sleeper and woke up when you tried to get back into your spot next to him.

“Babe, wha?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing,” you whispered, “go back to sleep.”

Rafe squinted at you, “Don’t you have work?”

You sighed, “Not anymore, I got let go.”

He sat up and you groaned, not really wanting to hash it out with him at 5:30 in the morning. Fumbling to switch the lamp on, Rafe pulled you into a hug with his other arm and you couldn’t stop yourself from sinking into his arms.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I know you liked that job.”

“They told me like two fucking weeks ago they were looking at a managerial position for me. I just, I don’t know why I was on the first list of cuts.”

Rafe huffed out a laugh, “I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately, I can’t get into the mindset of actual buffoons.”

Your lips quirked up, “They are buffoons, aren’t they?”

The two of you sat in the middle of the bed for who knows how long, just hanging onto each other, and you were almost back asleep when Rafe moved again, this time to stand up. You glared at him, “Can’t we sleep?”

“We can nap later, but I want to see the sunrise.”

He grabbed his keys from the desk by the door and you followed him out to the kitchen. There was a place the two of you had gone before, near the reservoir, for sunsets, but you’d never done a sunrise before. You started the coffee making process again and pulled on one of his sweatshirts while he leaned against the wall, looking up what time the sun rose.

“It says 6:40 so we have plenty of time to get there.”

“Car sex,” you offered jokingly.

“Make the coffee, babe,” he dismissed, pulling you in to ruffle your hair.

You shoved him away, pouting, “I can’t make the coffee when you’re manhandling me.”

He didn’t let you push him far, grabbing onto your hand where it was pushing his chest and pulled you back to him. The smell of coffee filled the kitchen as he hugged you. Your face was buried in his chest and the two of you just breathed together until he pulled back enough to catch your lips with his.

You pushed up on your toes, leaning further into him. He loosened his grip on your hands and you slid them up to cup his jaw. It was quiet in the kitchen, the only sound coming from the coffee maker and the slight hum of the air conditioner. You basked in it.

Rafe suddenly dropped both of his arms to your legs and lifted you to sit on the counter. The sudden movement startled you into letting out a little squeal of surprise, but he swallowed it up with another kiss.

You draped your arms over his shoulders and he leaned all of his weight on the counter. In the background, you barely heard the coffee kick off and your roommate moving around in her room. Rafe brought a hand up to stroke up and down your thigh, fully distracting you again.

The two of you only broke apart when Rafe’s alarm started going off. He pulled away, annoyed, and then cursed when he realized what time it was. Helping you down, he told you, “We’ve got 30 minutes to get to the res.”

After quickly fixing two to-go mugs, you let Rafe pull you out of the apartment to his truck. For once, he didn’t pick any music, just let the radio play softly in the background while the two of you sipped on coffee. You rolled the window down and let one arm hang out the side.

Rafe reached over and grabbed your other hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss softly without looking up from the road. You grinned at him, “You’re soft as fuck, Cameron.”

He laughed, “Only for you, sweetheart.”

The sky started to lighten as the two of you drove and you left turned your focus back out the window. By the time Rafe parked, the sun had started to rise, and Rafe finally plugged his phone in to play a song.

“Something soft?” he asked.

You nodded and queued up something before hopping out. Rafe grabbed a blanket from the backseat and pulled the tailgate down. It was the blanket the two of you normally sat on to watch the sunsets, so you assumed Rafe wanted to sit back there together for it.

Grabbing the coffees, you walked around the truck to join him just as the song started playing through the speakers.

Feels like we’re on the edge right now / I wish that I could say I’m proud / I’m sorry that I let you down / let you down

You climbed up with him and settled in, your back against his chest. Rafe rested his chin on your head and you shut your eyes for a few seconds to let it all soak in.

I feel like every time I talk to you, you’re in an awful mood / what else can I offer you / there’s nothing left right now, I gave it all to you

“What am I going to do?” you whispered to Rafe.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he told you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

All these voices in my head get loud / and I wish that I could shut them out / I’m sorry that I let you down

“But we’ll figure it out,” he told you, sounding totally sure.

The sun slowly crept up as the two of you sat in silence, both hoping that things were going to turn out okay.

Five: You Make My Dreams (Come True)

“I hate men,” you said from your spot laying on the floor, “why are they the worst.”

Rafe laughed, nudging your hip with his foot, “Come on, sweetheart, I think some Waffle House will cheer you up, huh?”

“Nothing can cheer me up right now. Maybe alcohol.”

“You can’t get drunk.”

“Why not?” you demanded, a little childishly.

“Because you have an interview tomorrow, and it’s just a game.”

You were offended, staring at him open-mouthed, “I know you didn’t just tell me that the Leafs getting eliminated from the playoffs is just a game.”

Rafe didn’t respond, just kept looking at you, hand held out to help you up from the floor. You huffed and stubbornly stayed down, “No, I will throw myself off a balcony before going with you for that disrespect.”

With a sigh, Rafe bent down and pulled you up, you fighting him the entire way. He shook you gently, “Knock it off, mamas.”

“No, you can’t tell me what to do.”

“I can carry you, and I will, so you may as well just walk.”

Which was a good point. You crossed your arms and tilted your chin up, “Fine, Waffle House it is.”

“Fine,” he agreed, following you out of the apartment. Rafe tried to start conversation a few times during the walk to the Waffle House down the street, but you weren’t having it. After blatantly ignoring his attempts, he finally gave up.

“Rafe,” you asked, after a few seconds.

“What?”

“Can you play Hall and Oates? I think it might be good for me to hear.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Are you going to have a breakdown on the side of the road if I play it?”

“No,” which was a total lie and both of you knew it, but Rafe, being the accommodating boyfriend that he is, played it.

What I want, you’ve / And it might be hard to handle

And your eyes immediately filled with tears, just like both of you knew would happen. Rafe wrapped you into a hug while you cried, still playing the song so you could let it out.

Oh yeah, well well you / you make my dreams come true

Sniffling, you told him, “I thought it was their year.”

“I know, baby,” he soothed, hand running up and down your back.

“I want them to succeed and be happy.”

Again, he said, “I know.”

“It’s mostly the refs’ faults anyway, you know the league is dedicated to sucking Bruin dick.”

Rafe snorted, “I do know, yes.”

Softly and sadly, you sang along, “You make my dreams come true.”

The song finished and Rafe tucked his phone away, giving you one last squeeze before pulling away. You sighed and the two of you resumed walking toward Waffle House. He told you, “My dad is a big Bruins guy.”

“WHAT?!”

+ One: Outnumbered

Throughout your relationship, Rafe was always the more put-together one. He always had his shit together while you tended to be a little louder and messier. While you had some experience with handling him in this state, it wasn’t much.

You figured something must’ve been wrong when he didn’t answer any of your texts, but you weren’t sure what. He’d flown home for Thanksgiving, he normally didn’t because it was only a few days, but his sister was going to be in town and he hadn’t seen her in a while. You were invited, but your parents wanted to visit you for the day, so you stayed behind.

When your parents left, you stayed in and watched football, not really wanting to do anything except talk to Rafe who promised to watch one of the games with you over FaceTime. Unfortunately, it was halftime and you hadn’t heard from him.

In fact, you didn’t hear from him until that night. You were getting ready for bed when your phone finally vibrated and you answered it, mid washing your face.

“Hey, bubba.”

“Hey, babe.”

“Get caught up today?” you asked, rinsing the cleanser off.

He laughed humorlessly, and you felt something in your stomach, “I did, my dad had some thoughts he wanted to share with me.”

“Bruins fan dad?”

“The very same.”

You grinned, “Well I’m sure they weren’t valid then.”

Rafe paused for a few seconds, “Well, maybe they were a little valid.”

“Tell me what he said, and I’ll let you know for sure.”

It was silent, you could barely hear Rafe’s breathing, before he continued, “Just that I’m wasting my time. And I’m gonna come running back to him when I can’t get a job with this pointless degree.”

Which, where the fuck do you even start with that. Then, you remembered, scrambling up, you told Rafe to hold on while you grabbed your laptop and pulled up Spotify. You’d found a song and been saving it to show him, but there was no time like the present.

“Listen to this song I found.”

He hummed in agreement as it started up.

Don’t tell me this is all for nothin’ / I can only tell you one thing / on the nights you feel outnumbered / baby I’ll be out there somewhere

You felt unsure as the song went on and he didn’t react. The song played on, you tapping your fingers against your knees anxiously. Normally you could tell what Rafe was thinking based on his facial expression, and you wish you’d switched to FaceTime before starting the song.

There’ll be days when it’s difficult / but I ask you never leave behind the reciprocal / we’re past that / love is not designed for the cynical / so we have that

Rafe didn’t speak again until the end and it sounded a little choked up, “You found that one for me, huh?”

Slamming your laptop shut, you hit the FaceTime button and waited to respond until you saw his face. Rafe’s eyes were red and his cheeks looked wet and you just wanted to hug him.

“Yeah, that was for you.”

“I love you, you know?” he asked, “probably should’ve waited to tell you in person, but.”

You laughed, “Probably so, but I love you too, Cameron.”

“I’m coming home tomorrow instead of Sunday, come over?”

Settling into your bed, you smiled at him, “Yeah, just let me know.”

His soft smile was burned into your memory that night as you fell asleep restlessly, ready for him to be home with you again.

[monkey-network]

Why Shrek IS The Best

Tastes can change, you know? And it’s less about “What’s good about this now compared to before”, more of “Why would you like this now as opposed to before”? Unless allergic, you didn’t get why dark cola or hot chips tasted bad to you as a child, but when you grow up you can come to understand and appreciate it. Shouldn’t pressure yourself, that makes things worse, but things can certainly align in helping this newfound respect you get for something you’d believe you would never want again. That really is where I stand with Dreamworks’ Shrek. As a kid, while Toy Story left me traumatized for a while, Shrek left me side-eyeing with how crass and ugly it looked and I never wanted to think of it. But, as I grew up to respect animation a lot more, 2018 was where I looked back at Shrek and soon come to understand how wrong I was and how much greatness it has that I now consider it an all time great. And with it getting inducted into the Library of Congress, I thought it was finally time to present what I see in this film. Let’s do this right with...

The SOMEBODY

Now this frame has been meme’d to death. If there’s anything iconic about this film, ‘bout the franchise as a whole, it’s the exact moment when our main character charges out of his outhouse as Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ gets going. But this honestly just says a lot about Dreamworks’ direction from its previous films where compared to Disney that’ll take their time making the setup before getting into the hype point for its lead, Shrek gets going in one minute if we don’t count the logo intro. Not even The Emperor’s New Groove, which was going for the same tone before Shrek even released, took more of it’s time with the fairy tale aspect of it in its intro. Shrek literally wipes his ass with the fairy tale aspect before giving us the SOMEBODY, all around a minute. This frame really shows that this is sticking to the Disney formula in some way because it’s wasting no time getting into it. It represents the more brisk pace Shrek has with pulling you into what it’s gonna be about. This overall frame works in its thematic and parody aspect and I’ve yet to see anything top this exact moment, not even the greatest films I’ll ever remember.

But enough about the fact that I made a whole paragraph about this one frame of the movie. Let’s dive into what I say is a piece of the heart for this film.

The Earnestness

Speaking of Disney, you probably notice that their films have some cushioning in their presentation, like they generally don’t show things with a straightforward lens; there’s some theatrics in the way their best movies present themselves. That’s not a problem, mind you, but that helped me understand how Shrek does things very differently whether you consider it parody or not. While it throws mockery at the played out conventions associated with fairy tales, especially its most subtle jab at copyright, it doesn’t full on say fairy tales are annoying and bad. Hell, the film IS a fairy tale adapted from a fairy tale about a fookin’ OGRE that can eat lightning and kills with farts. But, it’s an accurate and earnest way to view a fairy tale from a somewhat realistic lens. Let’s take Shrek’s journey for instance.

Typically, the main character would want to experience something more; explore new horizons, prove themselves, find their calling. Shrek off the bat doesn’t need or desire any of that. He’s content with his life, beside the angry mob he casually scares off, and throughout the film he’s not interested in anything else outside getting the squatters out his swamp. He happily makes a deal with the villain of the film to exile those innocent refugees off his land so he could then build a wall to keep everybody out. Bringing up Emperor’s New Groove again, Shrek and Kuzco are the few characters I know that are actively antagonistic even when they’re forced into their situation from outside forces. However unlike Kuzco that gets to be emperor again but learns humility, Shrek is in the same spot as before but learns that there are people out here that can love him for who he is. I can’t say there’s anything grand about that, but it doesn’t need to be unlike the many Disney or any film that tries to shower you with the grandest themes. The relationships Shrek has with Donkey and Fiona are the most grounded I’ve ever seen because they’re not only natural, they’re hardly dolled up with the bells and whistles made to either drum up the biggest laughs or tug the heart strings viciously. When I think about it, I honestly could see myself in Shrek. He isn’t made to be a legend, he isn’t some secret genius or lost prince, he’s just an every-man ogre that wants to live peacefully or meet SOMEBODY that doesn’t treat as someone to be feared or disgusted at. Everything Shrek says is something anybody could or would say if they were his shoes because he, and the film in general, is the most grounded without making it all distractedly meta or genre-savvy. This is generally helped by...

The Dounkaey

Everyone’s talked about how Donkey is the best confidant for Shrek and Fiona. How he’s most true to himself to where he’s the most openly musical character in the film, and how he’s the most balanced here with his comedic vs serious moments. But I gotta say it too: Donkey is one of the greatest sidekicks ever. He’s a motormouth, but is never annoying to where you wish he left the film. The couple times he is purposefully annoying, not for a joke, is when he knows Shrek isn’t being truthful. He truly gets to know Shrek on this journey, and is the character Shrek gets to capacity to actually loosen up to, so it’s fitting that he’d be the one to push Shrek when the ogre’s sounding more vague than usual. Even when he’s harshly insulted, Donkey doesn’t take it as bad as when Shrek kept trying to shut him out again in the 3rd act after the Hallejulah sequence which is the scene in every Shrek movie where’s there a super sad song because Shrek is alone and yadda ya. I’ll get to it in a bit, but he is as much responsible in providing Fiona that seed of doubt that Shrek wouldn’t love her as the ogre she is. Donkey is the greatest friend because he wants to be there for those who are okay with him being around, and while you could give and take sidekick animals in your notable films with them in it, this film really wouldn’t have happened without him. Speaking of Fiona, I won’t retread what’s been said before like with Donkey but I did want to bring up something I haven’t seen many talk about,,,

The Love for An Ogre

I’ve seen many say the scene where Shrek overhears Fiona talk about “Who could love an ugly beast?” and misinterprets that as her talking about him as a cliched or contrived downside to the film, but I feel that a defense can be made. It personally makes sense that Shrek would misinterpret that and take it personally because 1) Who else would Fiona be talking about? 2) How would he know she was talking with Donkey? 3) Why would he just barge in on her? 4) Has no one considered that this moment is parallel to when Fiona overhears Shrek’s conversation with Donkey the night before?

Fiona is very much the antithesis to Shrek’s character where she can very much be open about what she wants but is scared at the idea of anyone figuring out who she really is. She’ll gladly be gross, kick ass, eat the young of a bird she let explode, but won’t let anyone see her true face. That’s why her curse makes sense, and why Shrek would take a fondness to her despite her initial disdain of him rescuing her. Fiona’s a character where the surface level beauty is her weakness as opposed to Shrek where it’s internal. Which is why when she overhears Shrek open up to Donkey about his societal isolation, she’s soon more comfortable around him. And it’s why when she opens up to Donkey about her looks, Shrek would unfortunately take it personal enough. I ask again, why would Shrek barge in on a conversation he wasn’t aware of or who she was talking about to not take it about anything else but him when what he heard such a cut so deep, especially from a character that bears his similar issues? It also helps that Donkey was in on it, as Shrek feels reasonably betrayed by the only other person he’s come to appreciate in his life. Contrived as it seems, it’s thematically important and appropriate to the conflict of Shrek’s character and the film overall. Don’t know how this could be conveyed any other way because it adds up at least.

I just wanna know how Shrek got to Faarquard’s and back by sunrise like did he run cuz that looked like a huge distance to travel on foot but anyways...

I’m sure things could’ve worked out if Shrek knew, either by barging in that night or through Donkey, but I think it’s fitting that the climax takes place at the wedding. After Shrek and Donkey understand their friendship, after Donkey reciprocates the Dragon’s love (more ways than one), and when Shrek grasps the mistake he made to charge over to Fuccquad’s chapel, we get to...

The End

After everything, we get to the moment where Shrek and Fiona get to share their first kiss, Fiona permanently transforms into an ogre, and we get this exchange. One of my favorite exchanges in the whole film:

Shrek: “Are you all right?” Fiona: “Well yes. But I don’t understand... I’m supposed to be beautiful.”

Shrek: “But you ARE beautiful”

We don’t need any other vows to understand their relationship was built up to this. This moment where Shrek can reaffirm Fiona’s feelings of being able to be herself in every way, because she allowed him to be himself in every way before. That’s that mutual love, baby, that just gets me every time and makes this film one of the best romance stories I know as well, even when it isn’t solely about the romance. This is Shrek’s story, and there’s nothing more touching than seeing this outcast not only get another to view him as a friend, not only someone to love, but people, if only a couple, to actually wanted to get to know him. I know Shrek 2 expands on this more, and it’s considered a golden sequel, but I will always cherish the first movie for how much it tells us off the bat while appearing as a “Take That” to Disney films. This is the genesis of Shrek feeling more accepted for himself and society and it just bears so much good commentary while being a good adventure nonetheless. Like you could say this film indeed has... dimensions? “You were trying to meme about la-”

The Conclusion

Mentioning it, I always had this thought with the conversation Shrek and Donkey had of why Shrek didn’t just “be an ogre” and pillage Fuccnut’s fortress. It’s possible Shrek could’ve taken out Faarquid himself, but that would mean being the beast he knows people have shunned him for, grabbed the torches and pitchfolks for, made him feel worse for. Shrek enjoys being an ogre, but he doesn’t like how society makes him feel lesser as an ogre. That really is what the four films have been about for him and what I’ve come to appreciate about these films personally. It can be easy to love yourself even when there are others out here that stand against you, but it’s hard to consider that anyone else could love you for who you are in spite of how you try to present yourself. But if there’s anything Shrek showed me, it’s that it’s possible. There can/will be people out here who appreciate the real you, will be there as much as you want to for them, and can help you realize more about yourself as opposed to suffering to silence eternally. Generally ideal, I know, but this film in the least offered me that thought in the most balanced way possible. It’s incredible how much of a tightrope this film has in its parody and sincerity and that makes its induction in the National Film Registry and being the first ever Best Animated Award winner pretty justified all things considered.

I know this film, the character, has been a meme over the years. As Schaffrillas mentions in his video, the direction Dreamworks made because of Shrek’s success kinda turned it into a heel people clowned on because, in theory, it was nothing but a joke with the onions and the swamp and IT’S NEVER OGRE. Then again, like I said in the beginning, tastes change. I’d say with Schaff’s masterful analyses on the film series and 3GI’s Shrek Retold and Shrekfest, the perception of the film sure enough shifted like the perception of Megamind. It’s one thing for a movie to blow people away or leave them thinking it’s horrible beyond belief, it’s another to take the time to then look back and see how those feelings have changed. For Shrek, it’s a film that was able to trudge out of the meme era to be a film many consider a strong, rewatchable, and unique. Like the beauty of Spongebob, Shrek is a considered a classic because as in the times as it appeared when it released, this film actually stood on its own with the most enjoyable and meaningful timelessness, exploring the desired love for the self, that deserves to be recognized. What else can I say, people?

It’s The Best

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

--

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

The Critique of Manners Part IV

~Or~

A Very Amused Review of Emma (1972)

One doesn’t really know where to begin with this one. I’ve watched a few of these 70’s/80’s period drama adaptations, but I’ve never written a review for one. I think the tricky thing is it doesn’t feel fair to judge them against more recent adaptations because the approach and quality are so very different to modern television making.

But people do. I’m sure it’s different for people who grew up watching these, who are just used to them and their objectively terrible, stagey quality and can look past that particular weakness on the sheer power of nostalgia.

So I’m going to try and find a middle-ground here where I ignore the stagey and obviously dated aspects and judge it primarily on its value as an adaptation – is it faithful to the book?

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

Normally I would start with Emma and Knightley but this time I’m gonna switch it up a bit and do them last because… well we’ll get there in a bit.

Let’s start instead with Mr. Woodhouse. I have to say, I kind of like this take. The 1996-7 and 2009 adaptations all kind of went for the same type of older man: a bit stout, or in Michael Gambon’s case… however you would describe Michael Gambon. With Donald Eccles, however, this version goes for a rather more frail looking Mr. Woodhouse; in fact to compare him to any recent Mr. Woodhouse, I suppose he comes closest to Bill Nighy (although the general characterization is of course very different.)  He’s a ridiculous but lovable soul who seems always, of course, worried about his own health and comfort, but in his own selfish way, concerned for his friends and family as well. My only complaint is that maybe they over-utilized him.

I thought the casting of a plump Mrs. Weston (Ellen Dryden) was an interesting choice, and definitely different from other versions. Her acting was actually really good too.

I wasn’t quite so pleased with the characterization of Mr. Weston, on the other hand. I have huge issues with this script vis-à-vis the men, but Mr. Weston and Knightley in particular. The problem with Mr. Weston is how he’s written as just verging on uncouth at some points. There are way too many rustic contractions here: “Ain’t I looking well too, Miss Emma?!’ “’Ark at that eh? The sly young rogue!” “Oh I think it looks tolerably gay and festive, don’t it?” and then just throwing himself back on the grass and chortling when Emma makes her fateful Box Hill faux pas? Like, what the hell? I’m not saying he shouldn’t use a few casual contractions (“How d’you do?” for example) but he seems almost like a positive country bumpkin and I don’t think it’s appropriate; he doesn’t talk like that in the book and I’m just all-around not here for it.

Constance Chapman, a well-respected character actress of the time was cast as Miss Bates, while Molly Sugden, of Are You Being Served? fame was WASTED in the bit-part of Mrs. Goddard. If you ask me, they should have swapped this casting, since I think Sugden, an outstanding comedienne, could have done so much more with the Miss Bates role than the usual wittery-old-lady style chattering Chapman delivered.

Mr. Elton was played by Timothy Peters (Right) and was, eh, adequate. They did slime him up a bit by having him over-eagerly offer to fix Emma’s bootlace, which she points out isn’t entirely appropriate for a man to do, especially the vicar and it’s pretty funny; but other than that, he has all the appearance of being a pleasant young man, as Mr. Elton should – becoming less pleasant as the story progresses.

One John Alkin (left) played Mr. Robert Martin, and he, too, was adequate. There’s not much of him and, since Mr. Martin wasn’t one of those characters this version decided to approach more three-dimensionally, there’s not much to say about him. 

Frank Churchill is… OMG IT’S PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER!

Ahem. Yes, Robert East (BETTER KNOWN AS PRINCE HARRY FROM BLACKADDER) plays a very agreeable (and smarmy, but not too smarmy) Frank. I think honestly this is as good as this part could get in the 70’s, although at 29 he was a little too old for the part.

John and Isabella, in an interesting (?) casting choice, were played by brother and sister duo, Yves and Belinda Tighe. I actually really liked Yves’s John Knightley (he’s actually one of the more handsome John’s, in a 70’s kind of way; for note-taking purposes I have nicknamed him “Not-Harrison-Ford”), but his sister as Isabella seemed kind of old and had just a really annoying voice. Also she doesn’t look at all like Doran Godwin, and Emma and Isabella are supposed to look somewhat alike.

The real casting stand out for me in this version is Fiona Walker as Mrs. Elton, although she too was a little old for her role, I’ve said before that there are no bad Mrs. Eltons (only bad accents) and she just absolutely nailed the insufferable chatter to a definitive standard (until the recent adaptations – 2009 onward).

I did however, get the feeling in this version that they kind of wrote in a through-line where Mrs. Elton is putting the moves on Mr. Knightley (to the point where they actually wrote out Mr. Elton from scenes he should be in) which was one of those unnecessary deviations which made me raise an eyebrow and also was just… weird.

Now my question is – why do all of the young women in this series kind of look like evil dolls?

Debbie Bowen, from a strictly book accuracy perspective is one of the most accurate Harriet Smiths I’ve seen – in fact we don’t get another this accurate (to my way of thinking) until Louise Dylan in 2009, who fits roughly the same model (fair and shapely). Its Bowen’s acting I don’t like, but I know that in the 70’s, this kind of simpering acting for this kind of character was just unavoidable. It was the style at the time, so I’m cutting her a break critically; but the performance just doesn’t cut it for me.

This Jane Fairfax (played by Ania Marson) is not my favorite interpretation of this character. At first I thought she was going to be alright, but in her first scene she bursts out and actually shouts in frustration at her chattering aunt (which she has some basis for, I’ll admit, since Miss Bates, in her muddle-headed way, could very well have unwittingly spilled the beans about Jane and Frank) but this is far more feeling than we should even have a hint of from Jane at this point. The whole reason Emma doesn’t like Jane (other than the fact that Emma is an attention whore and Jane steals her thunder by being so admired and accomplished) is because she’s timid and demure and reserved.

But the biggest problem I have with this Jane is that she can’t even fucking sing. I know they write it away as her having a sore throat (Which I think is a pull from a different part of the book?) but this was just egregiously bad to me. This is the only time in the series they show Jane singing so it’s never actually established that Jane really is more accomplished than Emma (although they don’t show Emma herself singing or even playing at all either.) Could the actresses just not sing well so they decided to write around it? You could have dubbed it; you had that technology in the 70’s!

OK. Now it’s time to talk about Doran Godwin. I’ve never seen her in anything else so I don’t know if it’s just that she can’t act, but I have no idea what she was going for with this portrayal of Emma, and this is something so consistent and unique to her that I, for once, can’t justify blaming it solely on the director because you can’t direct crazy-eyes. They just happen; and they happen A LOT in this series.

I’ve struggled to find the words to sufficiently describe my feeling about Doran Godwin’s facial expressions and her acting in this adaptation. In my ribbon rating notes I think I describe her as a “witchy automaton”? I stand by it. Every time she talks to someone her eyes go very wide and she sort of looks like she’s trying to hypnotize everyone in Highbury. The effect is just absolutely inhuman. I never thought I’d ever see anyone with more patently crazed Crazy-Eyes than Timothy “Crazy-Eyes” Dalton – but man, Doran “Hypno-Witch” Godwin just stole the prize. Perhaps she escaped from the set of a Doctor Who? telling of the story where Miss Woodhouse has been replaced by an android.

You have scenes such as this in episode 2 , where Harriet is trying to get Emma to acknowledge Mr. Elton calling after them as they walk past the vicarage, and Emma ignores her by mechanically continuing to talk, looking straight ahead with laser focus. Of course, Emma is intentionally ignoring Harriet because she wants Mr. Elton to follow them, but that wasn’t quite apparent to me until the end of her ramble – which I had assumed she was forced to complete due to some directive in her programming. I have more to say on her characterization, but we’ll get to that in a dedicated section of the review.

John Carson might actually be one of the better Knightley’s, but I’m sorry – at 45 he was just too old. This is something you can play around with in other characters (Mr. Weston and Miss Bates after all, have no stated ages in the book) but not only do we know how old Mr. Knightley is in the book, they state in the show that Emma is 21 (Doran Godwin was actually 28) and that Mr. Knightley is sixteen years older than her – 37 or 38 – and John Carson is CLEARLY no 38. This obviously-over-forty appearance does have an effect on how I view his banter with Emma, and it’s more avuncular than the older-brother feel that Mr. Knightley and Emma should have.

Whether by direction or actor’s choice, Carson’s Mr. Knightley speaks in a way that just doesn’t feel period to me. He has a very sort of 20th Century, stock British, hearty-good-fellow manner, that dates this adaptation pretty badly and feels old-fashioned (but not in a Regency/Georgian way) even in the 70’s.

Sets & Surroundings

Normally at this point in the review I would talk about the British manor houses and estates used and how they measure up to the book descriptions but the publicly funded BBC ran on a much tighter budget in the 70’s (apparent in the production values and number of obviously bad takes that they just decided to leave in, in everything they made) and as such they couldn’t afford to film in and rent out large estates quite as much, so this has the trademark 70’s/80’s BBC sound-stage quality of all of their other productions of the period. That said, this production actually has some of the better sets I’ve seen and that’s saying something, for being made in the 70’s. The walls didn’t actually shake when doors were closed, and it didn’t feel as stagey as some other Austen serials of the time. (This doesn’t improve the very “on-cue” acting in the series, but I have to give credit where it’s due.) I believe they may used a real manor house for the exterior of Hartfield (and not a landscape pastel) and maybe some of the interiors too? I can’t say for sure, and I would love to tell you what house and where it is but I can’t find any credits on it. I’ll just say that I think it’s very suitable and leave it at that.

Costumes

Much like today, the BBC almost exclusively used, re-used and rented costumes for their period productions. Almost every costume in this series was also used in the 70’s and 80’s BBC productions of Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Pride and Prejudice (P&P being the overwhelming common denominator – almost every one of Emma’s evening dresses and pelisses was seen, primarily on Caroline Bingley.) Some of the shawls have been picked out in BBC Austens as recently as 2008.

For being made in the 70’s the costumes in this production are really kind of nice. They don’t date themselves too badly. The ones that do feel 70’s retro, in fact, were mostly styles borrowed from period accurate fashions that just happened to coincide with contemporary 70’s tastes, and which aren’t often used in Regency costumes today because, well they don’t coincide with our modern tastes. For the most part, they look well-made (although some of them do have that stiff, dingy polyester look to them and there are definitely some plastic pearls here and there).

I’m quite pleased with the silhouettes which don’t suffer from Square Bust/Boob Droop syndrome the way the 1980 P&P does. All of the assets seem to be lifted and shifted in the right places.

Daywear

I like Emma’s blue day dress the best of all her day-wear looks. It’s a rich color and has pleated cups (Also on her white day dress) which is a style I really love.

Emma wears the gauzy… let’s be kind and say ivory instead of “Yellowish” ruff during the day A LOT (Emma Pic 2). It’s a popular look on Jane Fairfax too (Jane Pic 2) and I just… I don’t like it. Not that it’s not period appropriate (because it unfortunately is) it just makes them look like Dr. Seuss characters to me, especially worn with short sleeves which is something these dramas do a lot and I hate it. It just makes the person in question look very awkwardly disproportionate to me, especially because. if they had long sleeves to go with it (which would be more correct from a historical authenticity standpoint) it would even it out so much better. Compare Jane and Emma to see what I mean. The single layer ruffle (Emma Pic 1) is much more agreeable to me. (I wanna point out that Jane wears the same green dress without any partlet or undersleeves for strawberry picking at Donwell, which is blatant Eveningwear-For-Daywear™ and looked really out of place since everyone else was wearing day-appropriate attire).

Emma’s wider, cuffed, long sleeves and Mrs. Elton’s puffy segmented Renaissance sleeves are exactly what I mean about period accurate styles that suit the 70’s in a way that they just don’t jive today. Even Harriet gets some.

Mrs. Elton Orange ™ is another crayon color Crayola should consider I think.

Harriet gets stuck with a lot of brown outer wear but her day clothes are otherwise pretty nice. I especially like the ivory and blue number (Bottom right) and her white day dress with blue accents (Top right) which I think is the nicest thing she wears in this whole series. 

Evening Wear

Emma’s evening wear confines itself pretty exclusively to cool purples and blues except for her white ball gown. I find this interesting because other versions tend to dress Emma in warmer colors and pinks (As I’m very partial to purples and blues, I love all of them). I can’t say it’s inconsistent with Emma’s cold characterization in this version. Mrs. Weston’s evening gowns are uniformly amazing. I especially love her blue party dress, which is my favorite in the series.

Both of Harriet’s party dresses are characteristically pretty and girlish. The pink is a bit fussy for me but I love the blue one (which has a lot more detail but I couldn’t get a full length shot of it.)

I’m pleased that Jane is given a bit of a break from the Jane Fairfax Blue ™ trope with her evening wear. She has one light blue evening gown and gets a few green numbers, most notable being her mint ball gown. Her beige party dress is absolutely tragic though.

Mrs. Elton’s evening color seems to be chartreuse (Which I think was also the case in the ITV version? ITV fans back me up.) Her black overlay/spiky number is iconic of the Austen Bad Girl, but her ball gown is a bit disappointing in its simplicity to me.

I would love to have seen a full length shot of Isabella’s black and purple number because I have a suspicion THAT would have been my favorite but I just can’t make out enough detail on it.

Zig-zag patterns on the skirt are a huge theme in this version, which is so of the period. Mrs. Cole (shout out to another future Are You Being Served? familiar, Hilda Fenemore) looks straight out of a fashion plate in her dark green party dress, which has (drumroll please…) a padded hem! 

Outerwear

This version has SO MANY PELISSES AND REDINGOTES. Are they all nice? No. No they are not; I particularly hate Emma’s fugly salmon number that she wears for Strawberry picking/Box Hill. Mostly because she looks SO over-dressed compared to everyone else who’s wearing loose fitting light clothes (except Jane, who’s wearing an evening dress). Just looking at her makes me hot. I’m also NOT a huge fan of her pink winter cloak. The one trimmed with… faux ermine? One can only assume. It looks awfully tacky.

That russet pelisse tho! This is one of my all-time favorites. It’s SO. PRETTY and so detailed (See this number on Jane in P&P ’80). I think her gray fur-trimmed pelisse is pretty fabulous too, but I do not like the hat she wears with it. The brim is kind of a funky shape to me.

I know I’ve criticized brown before, but I do like it in moderation and this version is astonishingly brown-free for being made in the 70’s, so I really like her red/brown velvet spencer, especially with the cream dress and gloves, and her hat has some amazing decoration.

Jane and Mrs. Weston are the only other characters who get pelisses/redingotes. I’m not a fan of Mrs. Weston’s fuchsia number, and while I like Jane’s, it does put itself solidly in the Jane Fairfax Blue™ category.  

Harriet gets pretty much only one form of outer-wear, her brown school cloak (a different brown school cloak from the one in the ‘97 version, in case you were wondering) and while it’s pretty dull, it’s hardly unexpected. Here it is paired with her rather ugly blue bonnet, with yellow ribbon. The bonnet features heavily in this episode.

To be honest for the most part I totally forgot about the… 

because a lot of it is very standard. No dandy standouts here, but overall it’s pretty okay and I’m really pleased to say that there are no bib-cravats. That’s not usually so much a problem in Regency Era stuff (Since ruffles were going out at around this time), but you can really distinctly see that the ruffles (where ruffles there are – usually on older men which is good) are part of the shirt and distinctly separate from the cravat. Also there are LOTS of high collars and they’re not comically high to the point where they get wrinkled, like they were in Emma. (2020), so points for that also. These are the screencaps I gathered going back over it for posterity.

Mr. Knightley doesn’t really get a lot of cool outfits. His best is his purple velvet evening jacket which somehow manages to not look ostentatious (but is his only dress jacket), and his gold-topped Prussian boots (which you should just be able to see bottom right.) The worst though… I’m sorry, (looks up costumer’s name) Joan Ellacott – do you really expect me to feel the weight of Emma’s cock-ups when Mr. Knightley is rebuking her in such a cartoonishly proportioned top hat? It’s like being scolded by the Mad Hatter. All of the men’s hats are pretty flared in this series too, and I’m not totally sure but, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that flared top hats are not right for this period?

I think Mr. Weston only has one day outfit (which, in keeping with his characterization is pretty farmer-chic) and one evening outfit. Frank’s dark green day-jacket is a pretty standard look on him and I don’t think we get a fresh look until his fabulous blue jacket/yellow waistcoat combo that he wears for Strawberry Picking/Box Hill. I believe his evening jacket is also dark green but it was tough to tell. Again I think he has only one set of evening-wear. I would expect Frank to have more, since he’s such a dandy.

Mr. John Knightley doesn’t have much to write home about in terms of evening kit, but DAYUM, his blue traveling coat is DOOOOOPE. 

Let’s Talk Script

This adaptation was directed by John Glenister and Dramatized by Denis Constanduros.

Now I’ve seen a lot of positive reviews for this on IMDB calling it the… let’s see here… “The best Emma I’ve ever seen” and “The most true to the novel”… *Takes off spectacles and sighs heavily* I’m afraid I have to disagree. Several people also really love Doran Godwin’s Emma (We’ve already gone over why I don’t, and I have also seen reviews that name her and her lack of charisma as the main sticking point preventing them from really enjoying it, so I’m not alone). I’ve also heard it described as “sensitively handled” “Intimate” and “The most faithful to the spirit of Austen” and so forth, and again maybe it’s that prejudice against the stagey production and… no there’s definitely some other reason I have a problem with this version.

Let me make this clear – I don’t totally hate it, and I’m not here to shame the people who really love this version. Once again – if this version gives you what you want from the story I think that’s great for you. I, myself, like it pretty well and I think it’s one of the better early BBC Austen serials. It’s certainly not boring; but I do want to go over some of the changes that were made and choices in the script.

Some of them aren’t really that egregious, but they’re annoying in that I think they didn’t need to be made and don’t really add anything. Characters being added to scenes where they didn’t need to be and written out of scenes where their presence was missed. Like writing Mr. Elton out of Box Hill (And really the whole second half of the series, to facilitate Mrs. Elton flirting with Knightley), and adding Miss Bates into the after-dinner scene, I think at the Randalls Christmas party? I’m sure this was done for expediency but you have six episodes. It’s not as though you’re strapped for time.

Particularly praised, as far as I’ve seen, is the scene at Christmas when Knightley and Emma make up after their argument over Harriet. It takes place in the nursery, which I suppose isn’t an unreasonable place for Emma to be fawning over her niece (in the dramatization she seems to have been feeding the baby, where in the book she is playing with her). The book doesn’t specify where the scene takes place, although I assumed it to be a downstairs room, and I’m not sure that it’s entirely appropriate for Emma and a man (even one connected to her family through marriage) to be alone in an upstairs room together with the door closed and no more chaperone than a baby. But in spite of this, perhaps inappropriate, level of privacy, the scene feels less intimate to me than the book, where in the course of the conversation, where Mr. Knightley takes the baby from Emma “in the manner of perfect amity” and holds her himself and it is very adorable and sweet. In the dramatization, Knightley sort of just stands next to Emma’s chair and leans down a bit. After this conversation in the book, John comes into the room to talk to George, while in the show Emma puts the baby in the cradle and they leave the room to go downstairs.

But there are more outstanding changes that just feel wrong to me. When confronting Emma about her meddling in Harriet’s response to Mr. Martin’s proposal, Constanduros changes “What is the foolish girl about?” to “What is the stupid girl about?” it’s not that big a change, but it makes Mr. Knightley sound unnecessarily mean.

I’ve already mentioned the, er, additions regarding Mr. Weston’s dialogue and Mrs. Elton, and Jane shouting at Miss Bates; but by far the biggest, worst additions were made with Emma. The worst, I think, is the handling of this scene in Episode 4 when Harriet is feeling heartsick following Mr. Elton’s marriage.

And for those of you who don’t wanna follow the link, here’s a transcription:

Emma: Now Harriet! Your allowing yourself to become so upset over Mr. Elton’s marriage is the strongest possible reproach you could make to me!

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes it is! You could not more constantly remind me of the mistake I made, which is most hurtful!

Harriet: Oh Miss Woodhouse, it was not intended to be!

Emma: I have not said “think and talk less of Mr. Elton” for my sake, Harriet, because it is for yours I wish it. My being hurt is a very… secondary consideration, but please, please Harriet, do learn to exert a little more self-discipline in this matter.

Harriet: {Looks down} Yes, Miss Woodhouse.

Emma: We are all creatures of feeling; we all suffer disappointments, it is how we learn to suffer them that forms our character. If you continue in this way, Harriet, I shall think you wanting in true friendship for me!  

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse! You, who are the best friend I’ve ever had? Oh what a horrid, horrid wretch I’ve been!”

Emma: Oh now Harriet – (She’s gonna console her now, right?)

Harriet: Oh yes, I have, I have!

Emma: Harriet, control yourself! (ha ha bitch, u thought) Now, you will tie your bonnet, and you are coming with me to call on Mr. And Mrs. Elton at the Vicarage…

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse –

Emma: Yes you are! And I’m sure you will find it far less distressing than you think.

Harriet: Oh, Miss Woodhouse, must I?

Emma: Yes, Harriet; but you may borrow my lace ruff if you wish.

Harriet: Oh may I, Miss Woodhouse? Oh, thank you!

(Look how evil she looks! She looks like she’s planning on baking Harriet into a pie!)

While this scene is in the book and much of the dialogue is also from the book, it’s the lines that were added that stick out to me. Emma does tell Harriet that her allowing herself to become upset over the Eltons is a reproach on Emma more than anything else and reminds her miserably of the “Mistake [Emma] fell into” but from this point, the script takes a left turn from the firm but kind appeal to Harriet to move on for both her happiness and Emma’s own comfort, to a far more manipulative strain.

Even after Harriet apologizes, she goes from simply appealing to Harriet to let herself move on, to basically telling her that she’s a bad friend. She treats Harriet like she’s unreasonable for feeling this way, where in the book Emma is very understanding and feels that “she could not do too much for her; that Harriet had every right to all her ingenuity and patience…” and only after Harriet goes all afternoon with Emma soothing her and no improvement in her spirits does Emma take any kind of reproachful tack whatsoever.

    In this scene, Emma says that her own happiness is a secondary consideration (this is stressed much more in the book) but from the way she says it, it seems more like she just wants Harriet to shut up about it rather than actually meaning it. (This is a very prominent example of Emma’s not seeming to really like Harriet at all in this version, only tolerating her presence.)

AND THEN she does something which Emma in the book most certainly did NOT do and forces Harriet to come with her to visit the Eltons, as if to put her on the spot and test how good a little friend she will be. I can’t express how disgusted I am by the changes and interpretation here. This is the culmination of the general through-line of Emma’s manipulative characterization being taken to an extreme. She looms over Harriet sounding, by turns, like a school marm and a saccharine nanny. She’s like a (very) low budget version of Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia. 

My question about all of these changes is simply: Why? They don’t improve the story or the characters. They’re not big, but a lot of them just strike me as weird and unnecessary, but I guess there’s no accounting for artistic license.  

Final Thoughts

So is it a faithful adaptation? I often find this a more complex question to answer for myself than one would think, since inflection and line delivery and even, at some points, intention behind what the characters say tends to be up to the interpretation of the person reading the book.

Is the dialogue faithful? Other than the many changes I’ve mentioned (and the numerous cuts and edits I didn’t – and besides no screenplay can be 100% faithful), for the most part yes.

Are the characters accurate to description / faithful in their portrayal – again this tends to be subjective and opinions vary. In my opinion, Emma is not. I’ve mentioned that Knightley is too old, and Emma not only seems more intentionally manipulative than I believe she’s meant to be, and also just does not seem 21. She acts and looks like a much older woman, especially when preaching at Harriet) but she’s also very gawky, and Emma is supposed to look very healthy and glowing.

So my book accuracy rating meets in the middle at a 4.5. It’s NOT the most faithful adaptation I’ve seen, nor is it the most fun or the most intimate, but it’s not totally a travesty either and there are good things in it, even with a robot witch playing the main lead.

Ribbon Rating: Tolerable (43 Ribbons )

Tone: 4

Casting: 5 (Witchy automaton Doran Goodwin plays opposite avuncular good-fellow John Carson. Fiona Walker stands out as Mrs. Elton.)

Acting: 5 (Doran Goodwin is by turns crazed and mechanical with some momentary touches of what might be actual emotion. Raymond Adamson way over-acts Mr. Weston as a hobbeldy-hoi, verging on uncouth.)

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 4

Cinematography: 4 (A bump up from the usual 1 or 2 for TV dramas of the time. Surprisingly less stagey than expected.)

Sets and Settings: 5

Costumes: 7 (Very clearly of the 70’s but drawing on perfectly accurate styles that jived well with contemporary taste)

Music: 1 (Plinky, poorly played piano music. Only used for intro and outro I think? Jane Fairfax can neither play nor sing.)

Book Accuracy: 5 (They changed a lot of small details. Lines are changed unnecessarily (Calling Harriet “Stupid” rather than “Foolish” – Why?) Mrs. Elton seems to have a thing for Knightley? People present when they shouldn’t be, others absent when they should be present, again without any apparent reason.)

[tae-cup]

The Chief | Night Terrors (1)

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Summary: The prestigious department of police and investigations in Seoul, Korea, is called to the small town of Cape Springs in rural California. Nothing is quite what it seems here.

Warnings: Blood, violence, you know crime stuff? Fluffy stuff somehow

Genre: Mystery, Crime, Angst, a lil humor, sexual innuendos, BUT I DON’T WRITE SMUT OKAY

Word Count: 7.2k Words (Holy guacamole. This took forever to write.)

A/N: Let me know your thoughts! Any suspects? Just message me if you want to be tagged! I’m sorry there’s literally no Reader in here, but she’s coming in next chapter, I swear. No, you did not stumble upon an x OC fic, and no I did not tag this wrong, just bear with me XD. Please please read this one, it sets up some good background. 

 Thank you so much to @seokjinsultimatesimp / @kingbewwy for helping with my story planning and ideas!!

Beautiful header by the wonder @dee-ehn / @dnrequests

Other:

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       The flight was long. Long, tiring, and utterly boring. Jungkook knew he should have packed something to do on the plane. He had been dependent on the movies in first class and reclining chairs to pass the time. Well, now he was halfway through his fourth movie and sleep was nowhere in sight. Yoongi was quiet across the aisle from him and Taehyung was watching a movie next to him with some snacks he raided from the service cart. Not wanting to bother either of them for entertainment, especially Yoongi, he decided to sit in silence. The movie was getting boring so he turned it off and prayed sleep would arrive. 

It did not. 

He arrived, jet lagged and lacking 13 hours of sleep. 

“Did you sleep?” Taehyung tilted his head as they stood to collect their belongings from the baggage claim. The boy just tiredly shook his head. 

“Hah, guess we’ll have to be getting you coffee!” Seokjin chuckled, having slept most of the flight in peace. Yoongi, despite sleeping for the entire 13 hours, still looked exhausted.  The others just seemed focused on getting their luggage and leaving. They had a lot of suitcases to store their equipment. Jungkook rolled his eyes at his older counterpart.

“I’m fine.” But as he said it, a huge yawn ripped from his chest. Jin grinned, but didn’t mention it as Jungkook’s ears started turning red with embarrassment. 

“Guys, we have to get going.” Namjoon announced. 

“Aye aye, chief.” Jimin saluted cheekily. Namjoon just pressed his lips into a thin line, not amused. The younger male just sighed and nudged the police chief. “You really need to loosen up.”

“And you need to remember that we’re here to solve a murder.” 

“Even better! It’s several murders!” Taehyung chirped, earning a glare from his superior, Yoongi. 

“Aish, you kids.” Hoseok scratched his head. “You shouldn’t be excited that a bunch of people are dead.” He muttered. 

“Sorry, hyung, we just rarely get cases that Joonie agrees to investigate. How else am I supposed to keep up with Yoongi if I never get any experience?” Taehyung glared right back at Yoongi. The older man muttered something under his breath and dragged the younger away by his collar. 

“Where are they going?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow. He was still trying to get used to the group dynamics and while he wasn’t entirely innocent, he tried to fill up that role in the meantime. The other members looked at each other, sharing a knowing smile. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Kookie.” Jimin winked. “He’s probably...teaching Taehyung his place.” 

“Oh…” Jungkook tilted his head, trying to make the connections. “So like yelling? Hyung could’ve just done it here. I mean, he does that all the time!” 

Jimin exchanged a look with Jin. Jin shook his head, Jimin smiled. 

“Kookie, no, Yoongi’s going to-”

“Oh my god, he’s too innocent.” Jin cried, rushing to cover the maknae’s ears. 

“Too innocent for what?” A lazy drawl came across the group, making Jin and Jimin jump. Namjoon chuckled and Hoseok pretended to be distracted on his phone, only stealing a quick glance up. 

     Yoongi’s hair was messy, as if hands ran through them several times. His lips were swollen and he had a large dark spot on his neck, which he quickly covered with his shirt collar when he saw them staring. Taehyung trailed behind him, dazed. He looked relatively the same. Jungkook jumped into action, shoving Jin away. 

“Oi! Yoongi-hyung, I know you wanted to teach Tae a lesson, but isn’t that too rough?!” He shouted pointing at the other’s ‘bruise’. Hoseok began giggling and Yoongi turned impossibly red. 

“Oh yeah, he taught me a lesson for sure.” Taehyung chuckled. Jungkook gaped, eyes flicking between the two. 

“But he didn’t need to beat you up! Why are your lips swollen and there’s obviously a bruise on your neck!” 

      Yoongi began laughing softly and Taehyung’s ears went red. Namjoon sighed and dragged Jin over to help load the car. Hoseok was quick to follow, leaving Jimin to watch the scene unfold. 

“We didn’t beat each other up.” Yoongi explained with a grin. 

“So someone else did?!” Jungkook’s nostrils flared with anger. “Where?!” 

“Slow down, coffee boy.” Taehyung said, amused by his younger friend. “You wouldn’t be able to fight anyone off.” 

“Okay fine, but I could hold my own!” 

The two began to open their mouths to respond when Namjoon shouted at the remaining four. 

“Get over here! We’ve got a long ride.” 

Jungkook rubbed his temples, scrunching his eyebrows up in distress. “Fine, I’ll drop it, but you better tell me soon.” He said in a huff and stomped off to the van, leaving Jimin, Yoongi, and Taehyung to burst out laughing while the youngest pretended not to hear them.

       The town of Cape Springs was old. Old as in ‘stuck in a total time warp’ old. It looked like nothing had been updated since 1950. The van felt out of place, despite the various modern vehicles littering the road. Main street was all one story, one street. The boys looked peered curiously out the windows. The town could be considered charming if it weren’t for the murders happening every Saturday. 

        A stomach growled from somewhere in the van and it set everyone else off. 

“You know, I’m kinda hungry, Joonie.” Taehyung said. “I missed breakfast on the plane.” He complained. 

“Yeah, me too.” Yoongi agreed reluctantly. 

“You slept the entire time, you lazy ass. What are you even using all that energy for?” Hoseok snorted. 

“Thinking, you dumbass.” Yoongi retorted. “Unlike what you do all day, I actually use my brain.” 

“Sure thing, Mr. Head Investigator.” Hoseok said, clearly annoyed by his comments. 

“Yoongi and Taehyung aren’t the only ones.” Namjoon finally gave in, tired of listening to them bicker. It often felt like babysitting children and not a team of well trained detectives, investigators, and policemen.

       Then there was the actual child of the group, 24 year old Jungkook. He was far too innocent for someone of that age, to his hyungs, having grown up around the protective nature of the other boys. Jin pulled into an open spot and parked the car. Taehyung and Jimin threw open the door, rushing to get outside and tumbling out in a heap. The other men chuckled at their antics. 

“You clumsy idiots!” Yoongi reprimanded, climbing out and helping them up nonetheless. Taehyung rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Jimin just pouted. The townspeople passing by were quiet, eyes trying not to stare at the obvious newcomers. 

“Let’s go to this diner.” Namjoon said, pointing to a faded sign that read Betty’s Diner. Jin’s eyes surveyed the street. Despite their being people with modern clothing and devices, it still felt like they were transported back to the 1950s. 

“It’s not like there’s much of an option.” Jungkook pointed out, gesturing around the small mainstreet. It was either Betty’s Diner or Isabella’s Ice Cream Parlour and there was only one that held savory food. Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Hoseok fought to get through the doorway at the same time, earning an annoyed look from the locals inside. 

“Great, we’re making such a nice first impression.” Yoongi mused, gazing at the four men arguing at the door. Namjoon tried to soothe the wrinkles between his brow as he nodded along. 

“You guys are going to give me wrinkles before I’m 40.” The police chief sighed. 

         When they could finally sit, they were put at a table in the back. The diner had to move several tables and chairs together in order to accommodate. As they ordered, they didn’t even notice the dirty looks they were getting. Seven new, rowdy, men have arrived in town. That could only mean trouble. 

“I do not snore.” Namjoon said, offended. 

“You do too!” Jin fired back. “I sat next to you for 13 hours and god knows how many nights I’ve spent in your-” 

“That’s enough!” He cried, exasperated. The poor man was always under scrutiny from his partners. He loved them all dearly, but dear god it could be a lot to handle. Jin frowned and huffed, looking away. 

“One order of french toast and orange juice.” A waiter interrupted, tone harsh. The group turned to him, surprised. The name tag read ‘Hak-kun’. 

“Here.” Taehyung raised his hand awkwardly after a brief silence. The waiter let out an annoyed sigh and practically threw the plate down with the glass. 

     Taehyung cautiously pulled the plate toward him and the other men eyed Hak-kun. The waiter stormed away without another word. The cook was watching him, everyone in the diner was watching him. There was muffled shouting and next thing they see is Hak-kun is when he’s leaving, throwing his uniform apron onto the ground in frustration. The locals stared before going into a muttering frenzy. Anger issues….always fired...psycho...etc etc.

“Should I have gotten pancakes instead?” Taehyung asked after a tense silence. Yoongi narrowed his eyes. 

“Obviously. Who eats french toast for lunch?” He scoffed. 

“Pancakes aren’t exactly a lunch food either.” Jin piped up. 

“But at least they fit into a category.” Yoongi started, ready to rant. “They know their place. They’re a breakfast food! French toast is like in mealtime limbo. Nobody ever wants french toast just for breakfast; they can also have it for lunch and dinner!” 

     Jimin was in a fit of laughter at the usually subdued man’s outburst. 

“Think they poisoned it?” Jungkook playfully nudged Taehyung who grumbled something under his breath. It sounded an awful lot like ‘They might’ve’. Lunch continued as normal. Yoongi sat in silence for the rest of the time while Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin made the group laugh with their antics. 

        The police station was dusty. Old and dusty, looking like a ghost town. Namjoon peered inside, glancing around to see a bored desk attendant. He waved, but the attendant even spare him a glance. Jin cleared his throat. The attendant jumped, looking up with dazed eyes. 

“Oh, hello? Has there been an emergency?” He asked with a questioning gaze. The seven men shifted awkwardly. 

“Uh, hello, we’re from the Bangtan police department. Were you not expecting us? We can come back at another time-” Namjoon began and the man quickly stood. 

“No! Not at all! Sorry, it’s been slow recently.” 

The men exchanged glances. 

“But...there have been a lot of murders recently, have there not?” Yoongi tilted his head. The man was sweating and they couldn’t tell if it was because it was hot or because he was guilty of something. Of course, Yoongi and Taehyung tended to intimidate people, it was part of their job, so that could also be the issue. 

“Yes! That’s why you’re here. Uh, I’ll grab the chief.” The man quickly left, rushing into the back. He opened a door into the backroom and loud talking could be heard before it was muffled once more by the door. 

      Namjoon looked lazily down at his watch, Jungkook tapped his foot nervously, Yoongi was whispering with Taehyung, Jimin was giggling about something with Hoseok, and Jin kept his eyes trained on the door. 

      A pudgy man walked through the door, a faded blue officer uniform on. He took in the men standing in his station, then looked uneasily back at the attendant. They exchanged looks and then the attendant scurried back to the desk, shrinking in his seat. The chief smiled at the men. 

“Hello boys!” He said cheerfully. “Welcome, welcome! When did you get in?” He ushered them into the back where there were empty desks lined up next to each other. Dust hung in the air, only seen in the thin streams of light coming through the slats in the windows. 

“We arrived a few hours ago, we ate at Betty’s Diner.” Namjoon said. The others nodded along with the statement. The police chief’s eyes sparkled. 

“Ah, great food yeah?” 

“Definitely!” Taehyung piped up, only to be nudged hard by Yoongi. Despite being part of Yoongi’s investigative team, he had trouble reading the room. The chief seemed cheerful but there was an odd cloud of tension. 

“What’s your name, sir?” Namjoon cut in. 

“Oh right, you can call me Officer Nam.” He held out his hand and Jin reached forward, shaking it. 

“Officer Kim Seokjin, but I go by Jin.” Jin introduced himself. 

“You can call me Namjoon.” The younger man smiled, taking Officer Nam’s hand after Jin and gave him a firm shake. Before the office could respond, the other men were taking his hand, shaking it and introducing themselves. 

“Officer Min, head of investigations.” 

“Oh don’t mind the grump, I’m Officer Kim, but just call me Taehyung. This dumbo is Yoongi.” The energetic man shook Officer Nam’s hand several times excitedly. 

“Hoseok.” The other officer was formally trained. He gave Nam a firm handshake, his grip like iron. 

“I’m Jimin, pleasure to meet you sir.” The smaller man smiled widely. Officer Nam returned the smile warily. “That’s Jungkook.” He nodded towards the younger boy who had fallen silent. “He’s training with us, he’s mostly here to observe the process.” 

“Sorry, we can be a bit much in the beginning.” Jin said. It didn’t take a detective to see that Officer Nam was overwhelmed. 

“Oh it’s quite alright. There hasn’t been much we’ve been able to figure out much information with these murders. People are on edge, ya know? They clam up, won’t talk much.” Officer Nam explained. “We often leave it to our intern to handle public affairs, she’s more versed in...talkin’ to people.” 

“Intern?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, speaking for the first time. The officer seemed surprised to see him standing there, but nodded nonetheless. 

“She’s studyin’ to be an interrogation officer and needs some experience with a more experienced crew than us. The town is usually quiet.” 

“I see.” Namjoon murmured. 

“She won’t get in yer way!” Nam exclaimed, shaking his head. “She’s just a little shy.” 

“Where is she?” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Well, she should be clocking in right about...now.” The office glanced at his watch. As if on cue, the door squeaked open. 

“Officer Nam? I’m here!” A soft voice called into the station. The men whirled around to see a small girl. She looked almost fragile with dark hair and a lithe frame. She looked startled to see the seven brooding men. “Sorry!” She squeaked, ready to flee the room. 

“Actually!” Officer Nam interrupted, halting her in her tracks. “Come here, I want to introduce you to Bangtan Police.” 

       She tentatively walked in. She looked like prey walking into a lion’s den; and she could’ve been with the way they were looking at her.

“Yes?” She shakily pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“This is Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, Taehyung, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook. They’re from The Bangtan Police Department and I’d like you to spend the remaining time in your work study with them to help solve this case.”

“W-why?” She turned, alarmed, to look at her superior. 

“Because they have much more experience and you haven’t gotten much experience with us here.” He explained, his gaze filled with something akin to fatherly love. “Now, introduce yourself.” He nudged her towards them. 

      The girl looked up hesitantly. Her gaze flickered away quickly, despite the encouraging smiles on their faces. 

“I’m Hae-won.” She murmured. “It’s a pleasure to meet you and I hope we can work well together.” 

     The boys were already swooning, hearts beating loudly. Once the chief left to discuss details with Namjoon, the boys split off to look around. Jungkook immediately took a place next to Hae-won. 

“Hey, Hae-won.” He grinned. She flushed and looked away. He was reminded of Y/N, but Hae-won was 10x shyer it seemed. “Wanna show me around?” 

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Her voice was barely a whisper. 

“Now come on, how are you going to be an interrogation officer if people can barely hear you? Speak up.” He teased. Hae-won looked up startled, eyes wide. 

“Oh right, yeah, that.” She murmured, more to herself than anything, but Jungkook heard it. 

“Do you not want to be an interrogation officer? That’s perfectly fine, y’know?” Jungkook paid no mind to her confused expression. “It’s not perfect for everyone.” 

“Hm.” She didn’t seem amused, just lost in thought. She seemed to notice the awkward pause, however, because she tugged on his arm. “Right, let me show you my favorite part of this station!” 

        As Jungkook was dragged away, Yoongi spoke with Jin. 

“The people here are...odd.” the paler man spoke. 

“It’s a small town, Yoongles.” Jin said.

“I guess...and don’t call me that.” 

“What?”

“Yoongles.” The man scoffed. Jin swatted his arm. 

“Now, is that anyway to talk to your hyung?” The older man teased. 

    In the corner, Taehyung and Jimin were looking around the empty station. 

“Where is everyone?” Taehyung scrunched his nose, trying not to sneeze as a plume of dust flew into his face. Jimin ran his finger along the edge of a desk, tilting his head as he looked at the fine layer of grime on his finger. 

“Not sure. Maybe it’s just an off day.” Jimin shrugged, wiping his finger off on his pants. 

“I mean, why have all these desks if you don’t use them?” 

“Hae-won suggested we get them.” Officer Nam said, arms crossed as he appeared in the doorway. Taehyung jumped, goosebumps running up his arms as Jimin tapped his foot nervously. 

“Why?” The detective asked. 

“She said ‘just in case’.” The officer mimicked the young girl. They surveyed the room. Eight desks. 

“Hm. Interesting.” 

Officer Nam just shrugged nonchalantly. “That girl can be a little weird sometimes. She’s too eager, too soft for this line of work.”

“I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it.” Taehyung suddenly felt the need to defend the poor girl. Officer Nam’s lips slid into a sleazy grin. 

“I see.” He said. 

“Let’s split up.” Namjoon announced upon arrival. The alleyway was in a rather shady part of the town. There was fresh blood on the stones, a smear on the pavement, an arc of blood across the wall. None of them even flinched, not even Hae-won. 

“I’ll take Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jimin.” Jin said. “Let’s look over the crime scene.” 

        Taehyung nodded, pulling out his camera to take pictures. Yoongi crouched near the blood smear on the pavement and Jimin wandered around, handing them gloves and then running his hands over every seam in the wall. 

        Namjoon took Hae-won, Hoseok, and Jungkook to interview witnesses and the surrounding townspeople. 

        Jimin knelt on the ground, hand running over a soft texture. Curious, he carefully picked up the object. In his hand was a soft tie, one that looked oddly familiar. He lifted it to the air, examining it in the fading sunlight. It looked new, not exactly a week old. It was possible that it was planted there, but he needed to bring it in nonetheless. The pink haired man took out a ziploc bag and placed the tie inside of it before sealing it up once more. 

“Who was the victim and how was she found?” Hoseok asked, holding a notepad and pen. Officer Nam scratched his head for a minute before walking over to the spot. 

“Right here.” He gestured to where a pool of blood was at the end of the blood streak. “She was leanin’ up against this wall, throat slit as y’know.” 

“Mhm.” There was the scratch of the cheap pen against the notepad as Hoseok wrote down his words. “What was her name?” 

“Mun-hee.” 

“Great. Thank you for your cooperation, if you have any further information, please do tell us.” Hoseok dipped his head. Hae-won observed from a distance, standing next to Namjoon as he explained the process to her. 

“So Hoseok here is going to ask the most important question first and then go on to specifics. Pleasantries aren’t too necessary until the end. He’ll close with a polite statement and leave.” The chief said as they watched the interaction. “In fact, here he comes now.” 

Hoseok waved at the two and winked at Hae-won. “Didya learn anything?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Hae-won smiled anxiously under his gaze and he laughed. Namjoon pulled at them to regroup with the others as night drew nearer. 

     The next day, they decided to have a formal meeting to discuss the situation. 

“So, we have Mun-hee, killed and placed in the exact same way as Jane Doe.” Jin laid out the facts. “She even looked a bit like Jane Doe. Were they relatives?” 

“No.” Hoseok shook his head. 

“I found a tie at the scene.” Jimin held up the plastic bag. Hae-won looked on curiously. Now Jimin had their attention. “It looks familiar, I just can’t put my finger on it.” 

“That’s from Betty’s Diner.” Hae-won interrupted. “I recognize it and I think it’s Hak-kun’s.” 

“Why?” Namjoon turned to look at the small girl. She pressed her lips into a thin line. 

“Well, he didn’t show up for work so I’m guessing he quit. He called me before that to say he lost his tie and broke down because his boss scolded him for forgetting to wear it.” She mused to herself before straightening again. “Those are just speculations.” 

       The chief of Bangtan smiled at her with a nod of approval. Even Yoongi quirked an eyebrow, Taehyung mimicked his expression. She was wary of the two of them. It always felt like they could see right through her. 

“Listen, it’s Friday. The killer strikes again tomorrow and if it’s Hak-kun, then we need to bring him into custody.” Yoongi said factually. 

“Are you seriously going to gamble people’s lives? What if it’s not him? Then we have no one watching out for the killer because we’re all trying to watch him.” Hoseok looked appalled at the suggestion. 

“Listen, I’m fine with that. We could see if there’s a pattern.” Yoongi shrugged. 

“There are people’s lives at risk here!” Hoseok shouted, slamming a fist onto the table. The other members jumped, surprised to see Hoseok so worked up.

“Jeez, you cops always get so worked up about people’s lives.” Yoongi said with a groan. 

“You’re technically a cop too, ya know?” The man sighed and slouched in his chair, defeated. 

“He has a point.” Taehyung piped up, earning a glare from his mentor. Instead of cowering back, as per usual, he jutted out his chin and continued. “Besides, don’t you think these murders are just too...delicate? Too well thought out for someone who’s doing this simply out of a moment of anger.” 

“We still can’t discount the fact that his tie was found at the crime scene. That’s damning evidence.” Jin jumped in. 

         There was a tense silence, Yoongi and Taehyung exchanging warring glares and Jin now staring intensely at Hoseok. A muscle in Taehyung’s jaw twitched uncontrollably. Namjoon’s gaze swept the room before he slowly stood, hands pressing to the table. 

“I say we bring him in for questioning. We don’t have to guard him if we just put him in a cell overnight.” He said, trying to reach a conclusion both sides would agree with. Jimin, who hadn’t spoken his opinion, just watched as the team was already divided. 

“Doesn’t it feel like the killer is toying with us?” He murmured, but with the silence in the room, everyone heard. 

“What do you mean by that, Jiminie?” Hoseok turned his attention away from Jin. His movement stirred the other members to look at him, Hae-won remained silent. 

“Mun-hee is found in the exact same situation as Jane Doe, as if the killer expected us and wanted to put on a show. A show of power. They’re saying ‘look, I did it once, I can do it again, and stump you every time.’ A subtle fuck you.” Jimin’s eyes darkened. The other men visibly stiffened, looking around nervously. 

“But how would they know?” Namjoon asked. 

“Small town, word spreads fast.” Taehyung said dryly. 

“That doesn’t narrow anything down.” Jin sighed, running a hand down his face in exasperation. 

“Well, actually,” Jungkook piped up. The attention turned to him and he swallowed, suddenly nervous. “Eye witness accounts say they saw a ‘strange man’ walking around.” He spoke, tapping his pen against the notepad in front of him. They pondered over this discovery. 

“Hak-kun fits that.” Taehyung muttered, saying what was on the others’ minds. 

“Just because he’s a man?” Hae-won scoffed, a sudden hard tone to her voice that had Jungkook turning to look at her, surprised. She quickly cleared her throat, returning to the quiet voice she usually had. “I mean, I just, I don’t know if that’s enough information, but with his tie, I think it’s a good idea to investigate him.”

“Right.” Namjoon nodded, rubbing his chin with his fingers. “Well, we’ll bring him in, get a warrant for his arrest, there’s substantial evidence, and interview him. Any objections?” 

       The six men’s eyes scanned the room before they all nodded. They waited, staring expectantly at Hae-won. She flushed a bright red from being thrusted into the spotlight. 

“Y-yeah. That sounds great.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. They all smiled fondly at her.

“Saturday, the countdown begins.” Jin mused, picking up his watch from his bedside table. 

“You’re setting a bad example, joking about these murders.” Namjoon sighed, rolling over, throwing an arm around the older man. The tips of Jin’s ears went red, goosebumps rolling up and down his body. 

“Joonie, some people have a sense of humor.” He snorted, turning over to face the man next to him. He placed his hands on either side of Namjoon’s face and slowly leaned in. The chief met the distance, lips brushing Jin’s. Then the chief smiled, pulling away to look at his second in command. He loved this man. 

“I have a great sense of humor, I fell in love with you after all.” 

“I don’t know if I should be offended or touched by your proclamation of love.” Jin huffed, shifting to sit up, hotel blankets pooling around his waist. 

“You’re unfair, Jin.” Namjoon murmured. “So handsome and, fuck.” He sighed, obviously conflicted. 

“We already know I’m the handsomest, Joonie.” 

“But how did you end up with a mess like me? Sometimes you handle the children better than me, and I’m supposed to be the police chief!” 

“They just need a little mothering. And don’t underestimate yourself, I’m sure a person like Y/N would throw herself at you if she got the chance, if that’s what you’re concerned about.” Jin laughed, getting up and pulling on his suit. 

        It was sort of a uniform, black linen pants and a white button up. This was paired with a navy blue suit jacket that had his badge in the pocket. He went to the bathroom to comb his hair and brush his teeth, mumbling something about there being a lack of room service at this motel. Namjoon just chuckled at his grumbling and got dressed as well. He wore black pants, like Jin, and a white button up shirt, except his suit jacket was a faded brown. 

“You always bring up Y/N, it’s almost like you like her too.” Namjoon pointed an accusing finger at his partner. 

“And what if I did?” 

“Well it would be unfair because I met her first.” 

“You can’t just claim women, Joonie.” He rolled his eyes and opened the heavy hotel room door. 

“I’ll do what I want.”

“You say that now, but we all know she has you whipped.” 

“Who has who whipped?” Jungkook’s curious voice echoed through the hallway. Jin spun on his heel to face the maknae. 

“Now look what you’ve done.” Jin glared at Namjoon who just shrugged innocently. 

“I’m just kidding.” Jungkook sighed. “I’m not as innocent as you guys think I am.” He wandered down the stairs, finally getting tired of acting dumb, the Chief and Second in Command now following him. 

“Elaborate.” Namjoon demanded. 

“Oh please, you guys actually bought that I was that oblivious?” He sat down, ignoring the other men at the table whose conversation came to a halt at the sight of them. 

“Well, I-” Jin’s face was red. 

“Come on, I know Taehyung and Yoongi are practically eye fucking each other every minute and quite literally fucking each other every night. Please keep it down guys.” The youngest pointed a finger at the two men sitting next to each other. They looked away with a huff, but their faces were red. 

“And You two.” He turned to Namjoon and Jin. “You make me sick, really. You’re so cute and reliable. Then you go and flaunt your cuteness to everyone. We all see it! Hoseok and Jimin-guys, just ask each other out already!” 

      There was a long silence. Jungkook shrunk back in his seat, bravado gone, now worried he took it a little too far. 

“Kookie, you’re not aware of the full story here.” Namjoon chuckled after a tense moment, the noise echoed by the other men at the table.

“You really want to tell him?” Jin eyed Joon warily. 

“It’s time he knows.” Taehyung sighed. 

“What? Know what?” Jungkook felt the bubble of envy in his stomach. They kept so many things from him; little secret, jokes. One time they forgot to invite Jungkook to his own surprise party. 

“Well,” Jimin reached out and grabbed Namjoon’s hand. “We’re actually...all together already.” 

“Oh.” The younger’s voice was soft, trying not to betray the emotions flowing through him. They were all dating? And without him? Was he fucking seventh wheeling??? “Without me?” He furrowed his eyebrows. 

      Jin started laughing his windshield wiper laugh as Hoseok smiled. Taehyung and Yoongi exchanged glances. 

“That was an unexpected answer.” Yoongi muttered under his breath. 

“That’s what we wanted to talk about this morning.” Jimin said soothingly, touch relaxing Jungkook easily. “We want you to join us.” 

“R-really?” 

“Yes.” Taehyung nodded quickly. 

“Is that a yes?” Hoseok asked, watching Jungkook’s mouth open and close. The sounds of the guests around him went underwater. He couldn’t hear anything, emotions spiraling out of control. All six of them? It was insane. But then he couldn’t imagine himself anywhere else. 

“Yes.” He said quietly. “Yes!” He said again, louder. Namjoon smiled, cupping his chin with his slender fingers. 

“Then, may I?” He asked for permission softly. 

        Jungkook simply nodded and Namjoon tentatively placed his lips against his. It was quick, brief, one might even think it was an accident if it hadn’t been for Namjoon’s hand on his chin. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, baby, it’s just that...this is a small town. That’s why we’re trying not to be very open.” 

“Oh, I see.” Jungkook refused to pout. He wanted to have some big romantic story, but that would have to wait. They were trying to solve a series of murders, dammit. 

“We should get going.” Yoongi glanced at his watch and the others agreed, standing and taking their suit jackets off the backs of their chairs. 

    The morning breakfast rush had dissipated, now only the metal containers of bacon and eggs left. The place was just as dusty as the police station and it made Jungkook’s nose twitch with the urge to sneeze. 

“Why is everything so dusty here?” Jimin complained, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. 

“Yeah, it’s making me-” Taehyung was interrupted by the loud sneeze that escaped his mouth. 

“Bless you.” Yoongi responded immediately, rubbing Taehyung’s back caringly.

     It was the first sign of affection Yoongi had openly given Taehyung. They were alone, for one, and for two, Taehyung seemed a little down today, just a little sad. 

“Let’s get going, Hak-kun should be in his apartment still, according to the schedule Hae-won gave us.” Jin checked his phone to pull up the screenshot. 

“Why does she have his schedule?” Jimin asked innocently. 

“It’s a small town, who knows?” Yoongi pressed his lips into a thin line. 

Knock knock knock. Namjoon waited patiently, his partners waiting near the car so as to not scare Hak-kun off. There was the sound of footsteps and a loud groan. The door opened a crack, stopped by the chain inside. 

“Who are you?” The voice was gruff. 

“I’m Kim Namjoon from the Bangtan Police Department. I’d like to ask you a few questions regarding the murders of Jane Doe, Mun-hee, and others.” 

“Okay one second.” The voice was more awake this time as he shut the door. The chain rattled on the other side and then the door opened fully. A man stood in clothes that looked like he’d slept in them. Namjoon immediately recognized him as their rude waiter. 

“Had a rough night?” He tried to be pleasant. 

“Yeah, slept in the car again. The damn heater broke in my apartment.” The man grumbled, stepping aside to let him in. When Namjoon walked in, already tense, his eyes had to adjust to the darkness. 

      Despite the thin streams of light shining through the slats in his windows, the room was in utter darkness. As he adjusted, he could make out piles of clothing on the floor, dishes in the sink, unwashed, and cups littering the floor. There was also an odd assortment of broken items in the corner of the room, hidden in the darkness. 

      It looked like someone threw a rager in this house and then left. The brown haired police chief was surprised anyone could be this messy. Like, he was messy, yes, but he would never let himself degenerate to this state. 

“What do you need to know?” Hak-kun somehow found a place to sit on the couch, but it had a dent carved in it and Namjoon was sure that was the only place you could sit on that couch. 

“Actually, we have a warrant for your arrest due to substantial evidence implicating you in the murder of Mun-hee.” Namjoon dug around his pockets and took out the papers. 

“Oh, I see.” Hak-kun’s eyes didn’t quite meet Namjoon’s. He looked around, jaw clenching in signs of annoyance. 

“What’s that?” The chief asked, pointing to the broken objects in the corner of the room. The man’s nostrils flared in anger. 

“I just get mad sometimes and things happen, okay?” He snapped. “I’ll go with you willingly, I have nothing to hide.” Hak-kun stood and dusted off his pants, though they were already dirty with food stains. 

Namjoon grimaced and nodded, in a hurry to leave the dirty apartment. 

Audio recording #1:

MYG: Is it alright if we record this?

HK: Yeah, it’s fine. 

MYG: Great, okay, please tell us how you are connected to Mun-hee. 

HK: Mun-hee...ah, Mun-hee. We went to school together. Wait, can I get a glass of water or something? I have a splitting headache. 

MYG: Of course. 

KTH: So you knew her?

HK: Hah, well, we grew up together.  It was often just us, this stupid town, the old schools. A lot of kids come here because it’s the closest school around these parts, but only a couple actually live here. 

MYG: Who else lives here?

HK: Hm, there was me, Mun-hee, Joo-Eun, and another girl, her name is slipping my mind. 

KTH: You grew up with these people, though, how do you not know their names?

HK: She was always easily forgettable. She’s not much trouble though, I remember her being a nice girl...until, nevermind.

MYG: Until what?

HK: It’s not my place to say. 

KTH: Well it would do you good to say it.

MYG (muffled): Taehyung get it together. 

HK: I don’t want to talk about it. 

MYG: That’s alright, Hak-kun, I can call you that, right?

HK: Yeah. 

MYG: What do you remember about last saturday? 

HK: Not much. I remember I drank some weird shit at the party-

MYG: The same one Mun-hee went to?

HK: Yes. 

MYG: And why were you there, Hak-kun. 

HK: Mun-hee is, was, my friend, sir. I would never do anything to hurt her, if that’s what you’re wondering. Listen, I know you guys are trying your best, but just drop it. I have nothing to do with it. That tie went missing long before Mun-hee’s body was found. I’ve obviously been framed and you stupid ass-

MYG: Okay, I think that’s enough for today. Thank you for coming, Sir. Please calm down or we’ll be forced to detain you. 

HK: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, ASSHO-

Beep. 

“Well that was certainly insightful.” Yoongi mumbled, glancing over to where Hak-kun sat, dejected, in his cell. Taehyung sighed and played the tape again, taking more notes of the important information along with his personal thoughts. 

“I thought you guys were supposed to be good at this.” Namjoon eyed the two with a raised eyebrow. 

“Joonie, he was a difficult person to interview. I could tell he was annoyed the entire time except when he spoke of Mun-hee.” Taehyung frowned, flipping through his notes. “Here, I wrote down ‘aggressively making eye contact and frowning.’”

“Are those seriously your notes?” Yoongi looked through his notes which were pages longer. “Do I need to train you in note taking as well?” 

“No! I just, I don’t notice as much as you, oh wise Yoongles.” Taehyung crossed his arms, pouting. Yoongi just softened his expression. 

“You can always tell me what’s wrong.” He placed a tentative hand on Taehyung’s arm. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Hae-won’s soft voice hovered in the air. She was closing the door of the security room behind her. 

     Jin often handled the security room, but he trusted her to watch Hak-kun while he went to the bathroom. Jin slipped back in as she stepped into the room with the others. 

      Yoongi immediately dropped his hand, to the disappointment of Taehyung, and straightened. A cold look once again cast over his face. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to let you know that I have to head back early to finish up some school work.” She explained with a gentle smile. 

“Okay, rest up and study well.” Namjoon nodded and she dipped her head, heading out the door. They all stared fondly at her retreating form. “The same goes for the rest of you.” 

       They had spent all day just interviewing and wrestling answers out of Hak-kun and yet they came up empty every time. Maybe he was truly innocent and they were trying to convict a good man. This was the kind of case where things could get really messy if they kept going on intuition instead of hard facts. 

“Let’s wrap it up and head back to the hotel. Jin, are you coming?” Namjoon called as the others filed out of the station. 

“Yeah, I’m just gonna check some things and then I’ll be back in no time.” 

Trusting his second in command, Namjoon left. 

      The first sunlight was filtering through the windows of an empty cell. A glass of water was on the ground next to the cot, tipped over, the ground wet beneath it. 

“How could he have escaped? Where did he go?” 

-

Hands reached out to the unsuspecting man. 

“Do you have a headache? You look in pain.” The voice said, hiding the glinting blade in the moonlight. 

“Who are you?”

“Just a nice person. I have something that could really help.” 

“What is it?”

“Oh, just some medication for headaches. It works wonders.” 

“Pass it here.” 

The man is passed out soon enough and the shadowy figure grabs the keys off one of the hooks in the back and unlocks his cell. Then the figure dragged him out, put him in his car, slit his throat, and placed his face down at the dashboard. They were back home in 10 minutes, bloodlust satisfied. 

-

“The feed is just looping. How did I not notice this before?” Jin mumbled, head in his hands. 

“Hey, it’s okay, the killer was...tricky.” Namjoon comforted his lover. 

“Boss.” Jungkook piped up, holding a phone in the air. “It’s for you.” 

     The chief of police stood and walked over with purposeful steps. It was easy to see why he was the chief. He was sure of himself, walked with purpose, passion, and he always looked like he had a mission. 

“Mhm?” He murmured. “This is he. What? How did it get there? Okay, okay, I’ll send my best men out to investigate. Please hang in there and don’t touch anything.” He hung up, rushing to throw on his suit jacket. “Hak-kun’s body was just found.”

“Where?” Jimin stood as well and the others followed suit. 

“In his car. No one disturbed him, claimed he slept in his car all the time and no one thought much of it. It’s just...so odd.” Namjoon sighed. 

“Why?” Yoongi tilted his head. Their fearless leader wasn’t usually thrown by anything, always keeping a cool facade. But here he seemed to be cracking. 

“His car was found across town.” He raced out the door, watching the others pile in and Jin took the driver’s seat. “I just feel like this case is getting away from us. We’re obviously missing something.” The chief stared out the window, thinking intensely. The other members knew not to make too much noise. 

“Do you think...it’s time to bring someone else in?” Taehyung asked quietly. 

“What do you mean by that?” Jungkook said defensively. 

“I mean,” Taehyung shot the younger boy a look that shut him up. “That we may need more of a specialist in here. There’s one thing we haven’t been able to look at.”

“And that is?” Yoongi closed his eyes lazily as he leaned back in his seat. 

“Blood. We haven’t been able to test the blood.” 

“Well, we only know one reliable person who can do that and she’s probably very busy.” Jin scolded the younger males. “But it’s a good idea.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Let’s just take a look and then we can decide.” 

      The street they pulled up to was quiet, not a person in sight. The leaves shifted in the breeze, skittering across the ground. It made for an uneasy sight. They stepped out and Jin locked the car. 

     Jimin handed out gloves and then he went around, feeling over the creases of the blue car, completely ignoring the dead body inside. 

“Found anything interesting?” Jungkook called. 

“Nope.” Jimin responded flatly, concentrated. He peered inside, seeing the blood pooling on the dashboard and dripping into Hak-kun’s lap.

 “I think it’s definitely the same killer. He has the same neck slice.” He felt over the windows. Not a single scratch. “No signs of forced entry or struggle with the car.” He dictated as Hoseok took careful notes. 

“I see no bruising visible on the victim, wait.” He crawled onto the back of the car, peering through the back window. “I see some purple markings on the back of the victim.” 

    The shadowy figure dragged Hak-kun, his back bumping over every curve, spine taking the brunt of the blows. He moaned in pain, starting to stir. The figure panicked. They need to get this over with quickly. 

“Anything else?” Hoseok asked. 

“No, I’d have to see the inside.” Jimin sighed, brushing some hair out of his face. 

“We’ll see what we can do to get the keys.” Namjoon nodded at Hoseok to write that down. 

“This case has me stumped, Namjoon. Obviously, the killer must be drugging them, how else can they get away with all this with no struggle?” Jimin stretched his arms. 

“It’s confusing to me too, but I’m sure we’ll find out something soon enough.” 

“Namjoon, I think we all know who we need to call.” Yoongi set a firm hand on Namjoon’s shoulder and the police chief’s shoulders drooped. 

“But I don’t want to bother her, besides I think we can figure it out, right?” 

“This is her job, It’s time to man up and call Y/N.”

A/N p.2: Hey guys! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!! Any predictions yet? I’m sorry this took so long, I was in a creative block

Other: 

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[purpli-writes]

Hunting for Love

Summary:

Makoto Naegi is the disgrace of the Naegi monster-hunting clan.

With the recent attacks, Makoto believes that he can finally prove his worth.

Will he be able to slay the monster or will he stay as a failure?

You can read it on AO3 here

It was a hard existence being the son of a well-known Monster Hunting clan. His family always stared at him with eyes filled with disgust.

He was the weaker child, a bit too kind-hearted. How could he even think about showing monsters kindness after what the monsters did to humans?

“Makoto,” his mother had said softly. “This world wasn’t made for people like you.” The sadness in her eyes was almost too much for Makoto to bear.

That’s why he was here, with his only friend, Sayaka Maizono. There had been reports of a lone werewolf ravaging houses on the outskirts.

“Are we sure that it’s only one werewolf?” Sayaka had asked nervously, there were barely any houses left.

“Apparently only one werewolf has ever been spotted,” Makoto confirmed. “But jeez, how strong could this thing be?”

“Not strong enough to beat you Makoto!” Sayaka cheered. “You’ll be hailed a hero in no time.”

Makoto nodded and smiled appreciatively. “You’re right, let’s do this!”

And thus, the two went straight into the forest, unaware that they were already being watched by the werewolf they sought to hunt.

Bravery, the trait of the foolish.

A trait commonly shared by hunters.

It seemed these two hunters were no different. Unaware of the situation they were entrapping themselves in.

Izuru Kamukura found himself watching the two hunters despite their actions being usual and boring.

The girl with blue hair followed eagerly after the shorter boy, seemingly holding on to every word that he muttered.

Said boy looked almost familiar. The way he held himself was anything but confident. As if he was forcing himself through every step.

The two seemed wholly unprepared for what awaited them in the forest even without the werewolf issue.

This would be quick, that was obvious.

But when he thought about ending the short boy's life, he was filled with a feeling akin to disgust.

That would be interesting.

“Maybe we should set up camp for tonight,” Makoto said, staring at the sky. “It looks like we aren’t going to encounter anything today.”

“Good thing we came prepared,” Sayaka said. “That was a smart idea, Makoto.”

“Really?” Makoto asked. “I thought it was just common sense…”

“Nope!” Sayaka said. “You’d be surprised about the sense of some of the people in our town.”

Makoto laughed as Sayaka began to complain about the boys who were always after her.

Even if they didn’t catch the werewolf, at least Makoto could be free from the chains of his last name.

He didn’t like to think about his family when he didn’t have to.

The Naegis were an all-powerful clan, saviors of the town.

And then there was Makoto, who was barely able to wield a weapon. Too soft for his last name but too human to be killed.

The world was cruel to those who didn’t fit in, and unluckily Makoto fit right into the not fitting in box.

“Makoto,” Sayaka said, interrupting his train of thought. “Were you paying attention to what I was saying?”

“Huh…?” Makoto said. “O-of course!”

“If you were paying attention, you’d know I said we needed more firewood,” Sayaka said, staring at Makoto.

“Oh, oh…!” Makoto said, noticing that they did in fact need more firewood. “I’ll go get some more.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sayaka asked. “It could be dangerous out there.”

“I’ll be fine,” Makoto said quickly. “You should stay at the camp so I can find it more easily.”

“Alright, Makoto,” Sayaka said. “But stay safe, alright?”

“Of course.”

Makoto walked away from the camp, carrying a silver knife and a flashlight. Nervously, he wandered the forest, looking for branches that would be big enough to be used for the campfire.

Makoto had the feeling he was being watched although when he looked around, he didn’t see anything.

So he continued deeper into the forest, grabbing spare branches when he noticed them. It was silent, too silent. Even the bugs had stopped making their nightly noises.

What does it mean when it gets too silent…? Makoto thought, trying to recall his training. Is it something about a predator…?

Makoto didn’t have much time to ponder. As he took another step, he was met by a low growling noise.

Makoto turned around just as he was jumped by the mysterious animal.

Izuru watched as the boy got jumped by a wolf, deciding it would be a fitting end for him. But before he could leave to watch something else, a surge of emotion stopped him right in his tracks.

Although only for a few seconds, Izuru was reminded of a lifetime of memories. The relative peace he had in his head being disrupted by something both new and old.

What are you doing ? The intrusion hissed. You can’t just let him die.

Izuru subconsciously bared his fangs, emotions that weren’t his started to flood his system.

That boy is inconsequential, Izuru responded. He was here to kill me, so why should I save him?

The voice didn’t respond, but Izuru could feel its anger.

This was annoying.

There would be no reasoning with the voice as Izuru already knew what it was like. Stubborn to a fault, the original owner of the body he was in.

Hajime Hinata.

The boy, who Hajime had identified as Makoto Naegi seemed to be in dire straits. With the feeling that Hajime was going to be more of a nuisance if Izuru didn’t save Makoto, Izuru jumped down.

The wolf was going to be an easy target.

Dealing with Makoto would be less so.

Makoto saw his life flash through his eyes, trying his hardest to fight against the animal that was constantly going for his neck.

He was losing strength quickly, wondering if the sight would be too gruesome for Sayaka to discover.

Just as he was about to give up, the animal was thrown off of him at a terrifying speed. Makoto scrambled for his flashlight, shining it at the shadow of his savior.

When Makoto got the light on its figure his heart sunk.

His “savior” was the same werewolf he was hunting. In his current position, there was no way he could do anything.

His knife was far away from his hands and his whole body was scratched up.

“Please,” Makoto began to beg. “Just take me and not my friend.”

The werewolf tilted its head, staring at Makoto as if it was confused.

“If you’re going to kill anyone,” Makoto continued. “Please just have it be me.”

“Why aren’t you trying to sacrifice your friend instead?”the werewolf growled out. “That would at least be the normal reaction.”

Makoto frowned, not expecting to have lived long enough for a conversation. “People will miss her.”

“And they wouldn’t miss a Naegi?” the werewolf asked, clearly not buying his explanation.

“They wouldn’t miss me,” Makoto corrected. “I’m only a Naegi in name, at least to them.”

“You’re still a hunter.”

“Not really,” Makoto said, looking away from the werewolf and putting his flashlight down. “I have the training but no skill to go along with it.”

The werewolf stayed silent and Makoto wondered what was going to happen. Should he feel thankful that the werewolf saved his life or should he at least be trying to kill the werewolf?

“Wait,” Makoto mumbled. “Why did you save me if you knew who I was?”

“It’d be easier to show you,” the werewolf said. “Wait here.”

As the werewolf disappeared into the foliage, Makoto decided to wait. His arms and legs ached and burned, and if he was going to die here he’d rather it be quick.

When the werewolf came back, it wasn’t in the form of the wolf but in the form of a man.

Makoto ran his flashlight over the werewolf’s body, noticing the long ink-like hair. When Makoto got to look at the werewolf’s eyes, he was surprised to see a red iris and a green one.

“Your eyes,” Makoto said. “They’re two different colors.”

The werewolf only nodded, staring at Makoto with what seemed to be desperation. What was Makoto supposed to be seeing here? 

“Have we met before?” Makoto asked, trying to put a name to the werewolf’s face.

“You can say that,” the werewolf responded, voice cold. “My name is Izuru Kamukura, although you wouldn’t have originally met me under that name.”

“Huh…?” Makoto asked. “What do you mean…?”

Just let me take control, Hajime hissed. It’d be easier for me to explain it to him.

No, you’d only make things worse, Izuru answered. I don’t need any attachment to this human.

You can’t just ignore our feelings for him, Hajime protested. We’re not just going to leave him.

Your feelings for him are not my concern, Izuru responded.

“Originally there was a boy named Hajime Hinata,” Izuru began to explain, and Makoto audibly gasped. “He agreed to an experiment which changed his personality, outward appearance, and abilities.”

“The experiment made him a superhuman,” Izuru said. “And the new personality, Izuru Kamukura, was quickly bored with the life around him.”

“I don’t understand,” Makoto stammered out. “Why would he, why would you ever agree to an experiment like that…!”

“Hajime Hinata wanted more than what he was given,” Izuru answered simply. “He was willing to throw away his life for a chance at success.”

“But why did you save me if you’re no longer Hajime?” Makoto asked. “We’re strangers and I came here to kill you…!”

“That is because Hajime has made his way back,” Izuru said, voice developing a growling undertone. “Because of you.”

“Because of me…?” Makoto asked. “That doesn’t make any sense at all…!”

“You apparently meant a lot to him,” Izuru said. “And because of that, you’re causing problems for me.” 

“Huh…?”

“His feelings are now mixing in with my own,” Izuru spat. “I want you to fix it.”

He’s not going to be able to change your feelings, Hajime informed him, sounding a bit smug.

Shut up.

“I don’t really understand…” Makoto mumbled. “I don’t know how to fix your feelings, but if you told me them I could try to help…!”

“It’s almost as if I cannot avoid looking at you,” Izuru began to explain. “There’s this strange feeling in my chest and I cannot decide if I want it to stay or if I want to rip it out.”

Makoto’s face began to flush, “U-um, could you describe anything else…?”

“I also feel this strange need to be close to you,” Izuru said, beginning to inch his way towards Makoto. “As if something bad might happen if I let you get away.”

“That’s um…” Makoto said, face fully red. “That sounds like… you might have a crush.” 

Izuru’s face was inches away from Makoto when he next spoke. “Is that so?” 

“Y-yep…!” Makoto said, voice higher pitched. “S-seems to be the case!”

“Do you have any solutions to this issue…?” Izuru asked, breath caressing Makoto’s face.

Izuru was way too close to Makoto. This man, no, werewolf was inhumanly attractive, sure, but there was no way this was happening… right?

Deep breaths, Makoto thought. He’s probably just messing with me… right…?!

“A s-solution…?” Makoto choked out. “U-um, well usually s-some people kiss who t-they like but-”

Before Makoto could finish his sentence, his and Izuru’s lips met.

What… the crap...?! Makoto thought. What is even happening…?

“He was taking too long,” Izuru said as he pulled away.

“H-he…?” Makoto stuttered out. 

“Ah yeah,” Izuru said. “And it’s Hajime right now, not Izuru.”

“Then he wasn’t lying about that…?” Makoto asked. “You’re really Hajime Hinata…?”

“Yep,” Hajime answered. “Sorry that I’ve been gone for a while.”

Makoto stared, mostly awestruck. The only other person from his town who had cared about him was back.

Oh, and they also kissed, but that could be dealt with later.

“Wait,” Makoto said, reality catching back up to him. “Aren’t you a werewolf…?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Hajime said. “That’s Izuru’s fault, I don’t really know much about it.”

Before Makoto could ask any more questions Hajime was standing up and examining him.

“Jesus,” Hajime muttered. “That wolf really got you good.”

Suddenly reminded of the scratches littering his body, Makoto winced. “Yeah, I guess you could say that…”

“Ugh that asshole should’ve came in sooner,” Hajime said, mostly to himself. “Do you have a camp or anything like that…?”

“Camp… oh yeah,” Makoto said before quickly remembering Sayaka. “Sayaka…! She’s got to be worried sick by now!”

“Sayaka?” Hajime asked before quickly saying “Oh, Sayaka.”

“Huh… you know her?”

“You could say that.”

Makoto began the laborious task of trying to get up. Hajime, who soon realized Makoto’s problem helped him up with ease.

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to walk?” Hajime asked, staring at Makoto worriedly. “I could carry you.”

Makoto’s legs were screaming at him as he responded, “No, it’ll probably be best if I walk there. Makes it easier to explain to Sayaka.”

Hajime nodded uncertainly at Makoto, letting the smaller boy take the lead.

Watching Makoto limp was worrying. Although he pretended that he was fine, it was obvious that his body had taken some sort of toll.

You should’ve let us carry him , Izuru said. It’s obvious he’s in pain right now.

We have to respect his wishes, Hajime said, silently agreeing with Izuru. It’s going to be hard enough to explain to that Sayaka girl without us carrying him.

If there is any explaining to be done with her, Izuru said. It seems she might be a bigger problem than Makoto is expecting.

What do you mean…?

She seems fiercely protective of Makoto, Izuru said. We should be on our guard .

Hajime acknowledged Izuru’s concerns before focusing wholly on Makoto.

“Um for this part,” Makoto said, nervously looking at Hajime. “It’d probably be better if we held hands…”

“Huh…?!” Hajime yelled. “What, why…?”

“All the trees are closely packed together,” Makoto explained. “It’d be a lot easier to lose each other if we aren’t holding hands.”

“A-alright…” Hajime said, reaching for Makoto’s hand.

You kissed him before, Izuru commented. Why is this any different…?

It’s different because he’s the one doing it…! Hajime bristled You just wouldn’t understand!

As they got closer to the camp, Hajime could make out the faint smell of fire and smoke. It seemed Makoto hadn’t noticed yet, judging by how he went only based on sight.

His senses aren’t as good as yours, Izuru explained. He’s a human and you’re not.

Hajime wanted to complain, but so far it seemed to be helping. He could admire Makoto without looking too weird.

When they made it to the camp, Sayaka ran over to Makoto and hugged him.

“Makoto!” Sayaka yelled. “I was so worried about you…!” 

“I’m sorry,” Makoto said. “I got caught by a wild animal…”

After hearing that, Sayaka released her grip on Makoto and saw his injuries. “Oh god, Makoto, you’re hurt!”

“I’m fine,” Makoto protested. “Nothing that can’t be helped with a few bandages.”

Let me take control, Izuru said, watching Sayaka faun over Makoto. I have medical expertise.

We wouldn’t need your medical expertise if you didn’t let him get hurt, Hajime grumbled, reluctantly letting Izuru take over.

Izuru walked closer to Makoto and Sayaka. “I believe I can offer existence.”

Sayaka finally noticed them, glaring up at him. “And who are you…?”

“These are my friends Izuru and Hajime,” Makoto said quickly. “They’re the ones who saved me from the animal!”

Sayaka examined Izuru. “I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

“Perhaps you have,” Izuru said. “Could you give me the bandages and antiseptic so I could treat Makoto?”

Sayaka glared at Izuru before reluctantly giving him the bandages.

“Don’t hurt him,” Sayaka whispered into his ear before walking off to tend to the fire.

“This might hurt,” Izuru warned, gently cleaning the wounds on Makoto’s arms and legs.

Makoto hissed, grabbing onto what remained of the fabric of his pants.

You’re hurting him, Hajime said.

It has to be done, Izuru said. Otherwise, they’ll get infected.

After cleaning and bandaging the wounds, Izuru turned Makoto around.

“I believe we were having a ‘moment’ before Hajime interrupted,” Izuru said, once again putting his face near Makoto’s face. “Were we not?”

The effect was near-instantaneous, Makoto’s face lit like it was a match.

“U-um, y-yeah,” Makoto stuttered out. “I guess we w-were.”

Izuru grabbed Makoto’s face softly, tilting it up before lining up their lips. 

Unlike Hajime’s kiss, Izuru was gentler, more skilled but less forceful. Izuru noticed Makoto reciprocating much quicker.

But the moment couldn’t last too long, not with Sayaka as a spectator.

“You,” Sayaka growled, glaring daggers at Izuru. “What are you doing with Makoto?”

“Kissing him,” Izuru said plainly, pulling the smaller boy into his chest. 

I thought we weren’t going to piss Sayaka off? Hajime asked.

We never said anything like that , Izuru responded. If she wants to start a fight, we’ll give her one.

Sayaka gripped at her own silver knife, pointing it at Izuru. “You’re that werewolf that is terrorizing our town, correct?”

“Correct.”

“If I killed you and gave the glory to Makoto,” Sayaka continued. “Makoto and I could live a happy life just the two of us…”

Makoto pushed himself away from the protective hold of Izuru. “Sayaka, what are you talking about…?”

“Makoto, I loved you for so very long…” Sayaka said, moaning out the last word. “With this kill, we could finally be together forever…”

“Sayaka, please…” Makoto whimpered, but it fell on deaf ears.

Sayaka charged for Izuru, filled with adrenaline and rage. It was an easy attack to dodge, no skill was placed into it.

Grabbing Sayaka’s arms once she got close enough he forced her down on the ground. Growling into her ear, “Give me one reason not to kill you.”

Before Sayaka could say anything, Makoto’s arms were around Izuru’s chest.

“Please,” Makoto murmured. “Don’t hurt her.”

Izuru removed the weapon from Sayaka’s hand before releasing her.

You should’ve killed her, Hajime growled. She tried to hurt us and take Makoto.

You heard Makoto , is all Izuru replied.

Once released, Sayaka ran towards the town.

“I didn’t really see that one coming,” Makoto said, relaxing onto Izuru’s back. “I always thought we were just close friends.”

“You’re naïve, Makoto,” Izuru responded, slowly moving around to wrap Makoto in his arms.

There’s no way he can go back home, is there? Hajime asked.

No, Izuru answered. Sayaka will probably have the town rally to try to kill us.

“I don’t think I can go home,” Makoto muttered as if reading their mind. “But I don’t mind, as long as I have you two.”

“Oh?” Izuru asked.

Makoto smiled up at them, “In fact, I think I might be owed something from all of this.”

Izuru stared blankly waiting for Makoto to continue.

Makoto pulled Izuru’s face down and captured his lips in a kiss.

“I don’t think I mind spending my life in exile,” Makoto said after their lips parted. “As long as it’s with you two.”

[sillybub]

ok so i’m trying to write a cats fanfic for the first time (fanfic for the first time i’ve never written one) and i’m mostly just hyper fixated on a few characters so i have no idea how to write anyone else, do u think u could drop some personality hcs about the younger cats who don’t have songs (provincial, ecetra... ect. lol) i would appreciate it greatly!!!!

!!!!!! HELL YEAH SURE I CAN

Pouncival

He's the character I think about the least, tbh, so I'll start with him.

He's very much an annoying little brother figure who tries to act cooler and tougher than he really is. He's super impressionable because he wants to fit in, so he kind of just goes along with what everyone else is doing. Generally just a little shit who likes getting on people's nerves.

Tumblebrutus

Parkour junkie. I saw him described as a juvenile delinquent once, and that really stuck with me. He likes to get into trouble and thinks himself a rebel, but don't let that fool you. He's very respectful to his elders, and is a model Well Behaved Lad that his parents love to brag about. He very much as the energy of the oldest kid who was left in charge of the other kids. He does enjoy stunts and showing off a lot, of course. He's actually fairly reasonable and smart; he absolutely knows what he's doing is stupid, but it's fun so he does it anyways.

Etcetera

SHE'S SO EXCITED!! Her emotions are always at 100% and she has no small feelings. She has so much energy and she is constantly chattering or moving around somehow. Because she's a big chatterbox, she's also the worst secret keeper ever. If she knows something, it's not long before everyone knows.

She has an incredible sense of humor and loves to poke fun at her friends. She's perpetually here to have a good time, and that combined with her lack of self-control, make her very accident prone. If you dare her to do anything, she will do it on the spot. Prank call, public, embarrassment--as long as it will make her friends laugh she's SO down.

She loves her friends SO much, and would do anything for them. She'll throw hands at the drop of the hat, DON'T try her. She's not actually very tough, but that won't stop her from trying. She takes no shit at all and stands up for her buddies.

Electra

Electra has a few layers to her. She's a guarded and reserved person, so she's the quietest of the bunch. She's definitely an introvert, and prefers hanging out in small groups. On the surface, she's polite and demure.

She's prideful of her independence and it can be hard to get close to her, but once she warms up to you, her personality becomes a LOT more animated. She loves stupid little jokes and stories, and she has a pretty creative mind for coming up with them. She's really clever and observant, so she can be a BLAST to hang out with.

She sort of has a perfectionist complex. She was on her own for most of her childhood, and the Jellicles are the best thing to ever happen to her. She wants to be a good friend in return, so she tends to keep all of her own problems bottled up because she doesn't want to be a burden. She's FINE, of course she doesn't have any trouble with her personal sense of belonging and abandonment issues!! Inferior complex?? Ahahaha get outta here!!

Jemima

She's the baby of the group 💕 She's super friendly and cheerful, and her positive vibes are super infectious. It's hard to be in a bad mood around her; her innocence and genuine kindness have a way of worming into your heart and making you want to protect her at all costs.

She's a lot more perceptive and observational than most people expect. She easily picks up on people's feelings, so she's a very empathic and kind person. She has this uncanny way of being able to get an exact read on people after having one conversation, and as a result, she's incredibly easy to talk to. Her understanding and kind gaze set people at ease, and they tell her all kinds of secrets. Thank God she chooses to use her powers for good.

She's a REALLY good listener as well, so she's the friend that you go to when you need to vent. She's the youngest kitten, but it's easy to forget that when she's spouting wisdom to you.

She's also not afraid to tell you what you need to hear over what you want to hear. She can be a little brutal if you're full of shit, and there's nothing more painful than seeing her disappointed in you.

BONUS: Victoria and Plato! I don't quite see either of them as kittens, so much as Baby Adults

Victoria

She's very poised and graceful, and that combined with her confidence can sometimes make her come off as a little condescending.

She does have high expectations for herself, and is definitely a perfectionist. She works hard to be the best that she can be, which earns her a lot of admiration. Her cool composure and elegance make her super attractive, and she's QUITE popular.

She's pretty well-adjusted, actually. She doesn't have much that troubles her, but she's prone to over-exerting herself to meet her personal goals and standards.

Plato

He's the only cat that I would confidently call a himbo. He's dumb as a brick, very strong, and chugs Respect Women Juice for breakfast.

He's everybody's best friend; he calls everyone "pal" and "buddy" because it takes him a while to remember new people's names. By the time their actual names are drilled into him, calling them by a nickname is already a habit.

He actually gets lost in thought a lot. He'll stare at a flower for a long time, completely stuck on "Hnnn,,, pretty flower,,,, wonder if any bees have visited it today,,,, do flowers get lonely when the bees aren't around? Do flowers have feelings? Sunflowers seem like they'd be happy a lot" and then he'll be sitting there drooling for hours as his thoughts go off on ten different tangents

And then he'll ask what the Spanish word for torilla is or something.

He's a REALLY nice guy who you can depend on to help you carry heavy things. He likes holding things because he's never sure what to do with his hands; his favorite thing ever is giving people piggyback rides or just holding them in his arms like a baby. His hugs are just the absolute BEST.

Best of luck with your fic!!! I'd love to read it when you're done!!