#I know this scene plays out very differently but it would just be the same punchline from a prev comic
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obae-me · 1 day ago
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The Devil's Desire
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Nothing like trying to come back from a long hiatus with more Luci content. It's always him, I can't escape.
Warning: This fic contains a makeout scene but nothing explicit, so 16+.
Disclaimer: I am NOT bashing religion, nor am I calling out any specific faith, denomination, etc. It's written to be mostly generic on purpose, and is simply based on a real life experience I have had before. Don't take this seriously, please.
Word Count: 2.3k
With that out of the way, please enjoy some Luci romance!:
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To lie with the devil is to wake up in hell. Tender lips stained with debauchery embrace nothing but lies. Tainted is the temporary vice. Lost is the lamb who leaves the flock. Damned is the devoured; the ones drowned in their own sins, plunged into the fires, entombed in brimstone. The cries of pleasure now ones of wailing. Of gnashing their own teeth. Made to suffer an eternity of eternities for shunning the light.
At least, that’s what they say.
And by they, right now you meant the very adamant woman standing in front of you, brandishing pamphlets like they were her very own Ten Commandments. If only 'Thou Shall Not Harass Unsuspecting People on the Street' were one of them. If you had your own rules, that would make it into the top five for sure.
Unfortunately, the lady slowly singling you out from the rest of the passers-by did not share your same sentiments. She was on a mission. Her mission? You. The goal? To wear you down and pester you long enough to join whatever group she was promoting. You’d seen these things enough before to see the danger signs in advance. A clipboard so they could take your name and number. A promotion selling tickets that you’d inevitably have to use your email to register for. All in an attempt to get your information so they could track you down in a less stalker-y sort of way.
“Oh, hello, dear. How are you today?” The hunter was closing in, two teens carrying signs at her side working on sequestering you- the weaker link- away from the pack.
“I’m good, how are you?” Damn your polite force of habit! Curse you, customer service default settings!
She grinned, knowing that if she played her cards right, she could probably keep you trapped here for a while longer. She spoke, and due to the survival instinct in your brain, you were capable of tuning her out for the most part. Something something, for the greater good, something something, special soul. They never meant what they said, or even if they believed their own words, it was undermined by their intentions. You’d been in this boat before. You kept waving your hand and nodding your head, explaining to her that you were busy and had someone you were meeting.
As you stepped backwards, she approached again. “Just one minute of your time! One minute could save your soul from Lucifer’s clutches!”
Without entirely meaning to, the drop of that name made you pause. Every once and a while, you forgot that the person you had come to know so well was such a prominent- albeit infamous- figure in the human world. Although, the way he tended to be described made him seem more like a boogeyman rather than a demon capable of Armageddon, scaring children across different nations and cultures into behaving. Perhaps you should be insulted on his behalf. Perhaps you should share some of the stuff you had seen. Tales of ivory wings and the blinding glow of a fallen angel whose twisted voice now told beings to Be Afraid. With a haunting beauty so enveloping, you openly fell further into the nightmare. That being said, you almost laughed in her face, wanting to tell her that the man she was so afraid of had been fretting over what kind of coat to wear this morning. Black was classy. But blue made his eyes pop more. But red was his color. Thirty minutes he pondered over this. “I’m not all that worried about it.”
Maybe you hadn’t contained your amusement as well as you thought you did, because for some reason, a righteous fire had lit under her sandy open-toed wedges. “You should be! Whatever promises the devil gives you, it will only bring you misery in the end! He cares nothing for you! Only HE can give you the joy you seek.” Her pointer finger raised up while she gazed to the clouds like she could peer into Heaven from down here. It was hard to tell if the dramatics were more for you or her. When she glanced at you again, she appeared spooked, clutching pearl hands at the ready.
An arm snaked around your waist, a hand settling on your hip. If the touch wasn’t so familiar, you would’ve jumped. “I don’t know. I think I bring plenty of joy, wouldn’t you say, love?”
Speak of the devil, in a quite literal sense.
Relief flooded your body, the tension you’d unknowingly built in your shoulders loosening. Even posing as a human, Lucifer was intimidating. At the very least, no one bothered to approach him out of the blue. This party buff seemed to extend to you as well. This lady seemed much less interested in trying to convince you of anything now. She cleared her throat and thought about potentially leaving you one last message of warning, but the man in your company wasn’t having it. He scoffed under his breath before he gestured to some of the other sign bearers in the group, tilting his head slightly to the side.
“Strange weather today, isn’t it? You might want to help retrieve your things,” Lucifer announced. Eyebrows raised. The weather was quite nice today, albeit a little cold. Curiosity got the better of her. Just as the woman turned around, a heavy gust of wind blew over you all, making pamphlets and signs fly upwards and into the streets. Subtle. People scrambled. The lady hiked up her skirt and ran to the edge of the sidewalk. Cars screeched to a halt and honked, people stopped to gawk at the calamity, all the while, you felt yourself being tugged away.
Lucifer’s hand remained on your waist for a few minutes until he was certain the annoyance was far behind you. How much of a mess was the scene now? You turned your head to look over your shoulder, but only saw darkness as a gloved hand covered your eyes. A slight huff sounded off to your side.
“Leave it. This hesitancy of yours is what got you caught in the first place.” The hand moved from your eyes to the top of your head, making you look up at him with a twist of his fingers. “I leave you be for a few moments, and you once again find yourself tangled up in nonsense.” His narrowed eyes flitted over your form as if checking for signs of distress or injury, like the woman was a master of combat with pamphlets as her weapon of choice. Always the worrier that one. He’d have still a similar reaction if you found yourself lost in a grocery store…
A frown crossed over your face. “I did try to leave. How many times do I have to say ‘no thank you’ before someone leaves me alone?”
He tisked, his posture straightening as he fixed the scarf around your neck. The plush fabric was rubbed against your jaws. “There’s your first issue. Manners are all well and good until someone takes advantage of it. At some point, you have to drop the politeness and just say ‘no’. With your entire chest.” All of a sudden, he took two pointer fingers and manipulated your cheeks and lips to mouth some words. “N. O. Just like that. Can you say it with me? Nnnn…ooo…”
You narrowed your eyes a bit at his teasing, batting his hands away. “Knock it off, Luce…”
“Hmm. Maybe I should go get one of those eccentrics and tell them we changed our minds and—“
“No!”
“Ah, see, you are capable of it.” Someone was mighty pleased with himself. Anytime he found himself in a place where he was free from his responsibilities, he always got shockingly more playful. It would be cute if it weren’t so frustrating right now. His hand started running over your head. “Good job.”
“That’s not funny. You heard how they were talking about you… I hate listening to it.”
At your words, his teasing smile faded. Rolling his eyes, he lowered his hands. “I would much rather you save that vexation for yourself and how they treated you. All the humans in the world could despise me and I would not bat an eye.” Suddenly, his finger tapped your chin, trying to regain your full attention. “I only care what one of them thinks about me.”
Something about the sudden sappiness in public snapped you out of things. You turned a bit on your feet and started walking. “Did you check us in already?”
“I took care of it. Did you want to head in now or wander around the town a while?” His partial pout at ignoring his romanticism could almost be felt physically as he matched his pace with yours.
“I think I’ve had my fun for now.”
A hum, and his hand found your own. Clasping it, guiding you to the hotel as you both walked. It was astonishing how such a move cast a level of camouflage over you two. Suddenly, it was as if you both were a normal couple following the regular flow of foot-traffic, keeping each other warm in the crisp air with the heat of each others close proximity.
If the devil was so callous, why were his hands so tender?…
The rest of the walk was a bit of a blur. The people, buildings, spoken words, all unimportant compared to the sensation of having him near. The elevator ride jostled, giving you some more awareness to your surroundings. A short walk, a brandished key card, and he opened the door for you, the very picture of a perfect gentleman.
If the devil cared not for you, why would he bother with chivalry?
The “room” was huge, with an entire kitchen, walled off bathroom, closed off bedroom, and separate living area. This was more an apartment than a simple hotel room. The luggage was already brought inside, Lucifer’s portion already opened and put away. “Leave it to Diavolo to save you the biggest, fanciest suite in the hotel. If the tub has jets, I’m never leaving.”
“Do you expect the Avatar of Pride, the right hand to royalty, to expect anything less?”
“You’re funny if you think Diavolo wouldn’t give you something like this regardless of your gilded titles. Careful, your sin is showing.” You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful nudge.
He swiveled on his feet and poked your ribs. “You dare push me?” His voice rumbled in amusement deep in his chest. “Rather bold to do to such a dangerous demon.”
“Oh? Is that a threat? Going to take my soul? Well, you’re going to have to get through me first.” Fake punches flew through the air, striking at his chest and face with no force. Although you knew real punches would have the same utterly useless, painless outcome for him.
The world tilted, some of the air leaving your lungs in a giggling gasp as he scooped you up over his shoulder. He twisted, spinning around occasionally to leave you somewhat disoriented until you were plopped down on top of the bed, the whole mattress bobbing. Lucifer hovered over you. “You cannot hope to win, human. You’re mine now.”
Something in your chest fluttered at that. “So you win then, is it? How would you like my soul? Grilled? Blended? Braised?”
One of his hands worked on removing the scarf from around your neck, the back of his index finger tracing the outline of your chin. Just a breath away from being in contact. “Let me see…” Adjusting, rubbing his nose against yours, he waited for that tell-tale sign of permission, of you closing some of the distance. Temptation struck you, flooding in your heart. The plunge was too alluring. You bit of the fruit, and the devil wrapped his clutches around you.
Watch out for the schemes of the devil, who prowls like a beast, waiting for the moment to strike and devour- lips whispering inner desires. Raise up your guard to save yourself from being pulled into darkness, into his embrace, limbs aching and craving. For his claws shall tear and shred in eagerness, unable to contain themselves as they remove the body of protective vestments. He will take the very breath from your lungs. Crush the bones with a heaving chest. Partake of your flesh.
Lucifer raised his head for a moment, letting you both catch your breath. Your thumb traced his bottom lip, puffy and scarlet where you’d nipped it. Red was always a good color for him. That’s why you picked the crimson coat for him today. It matched his cheeks, the end of his ears, his longing eyes.
“Authentically,” he said, answering your question you felt you asked two lifetimes ago. His mouth covered yours as his broad hands squeezed your shoulders. “Slowly…” You could almost feel his hum in the back of your throat as he spoke between kisses. “Bit by bit…” His teeth grazed you top lip. “Over the course of a lifetime…” His affection moved on, venturing out and exploring your cheeks and gently over your eyelids. “So you’ll be right here with me… exactly like this… for a very-“ a searing mark was placed right under your earlobe, against a tingling part of your neck, “…very long time.”
To lie with the devil is to wake up wrapped up in braids of limb and cloth. Tender lips stained with last night’s embrace whisper saccharine words. Cherished is the temporary stillness. Beloved is the lamb who measures the meter of the heartbeat of the wolf. Blessed is the enamored; the ones drowned in their own affection, plunged into the fires of passion, entombed in each other’s chests. The cries of pleasure echoed with ones of mirth. Of declarations and vows held tight between their own teeth. Made to persist an eternity of eternities for existing as the other’s light.
For it's his desire.
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part i (part ii)
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“Spencer - oof. I don’t even want to joke about this round being fiery. You make me laugh, even when I know that I shouldn’t. You clearly care deeply for me and have left me in no doubt that you came to play, but some aspects of your personality give me cause for concern. I’m ready to lead a slightly less wild lifestyle in the future, but I’m not certain that you’d be there with me. So are you a forever or a simply for now?”
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“Mister, I have little in the way of notes. While everything else is going great though, your relative lack of attraction for me is a little concerning. I’m more attracted to you than you are to me, and normally I’m the hot one in the relationship! I’m kidding, I’m kidding. But even though we’re not each other’s usual types, I think we should continue giving this a chance - and I hope you feel the same.”
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“Delphine. You’ve certainly made up ground in terms of romance, and I find you utterly charming. Those above you however have more sentiments with me, so perhaps the solo date next round will give us more quality time together. You’ve also flirted with two other contestants - and caught the eye of our security! - while still letting me know that I’m on your mind. Not everyone can pull that off. [wry laugh] Trust me, I know how difficult it can be to make multiple people feel special. See you next time.”
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“Tiago - wait, aren’t I supposed to be the one gifting you something? Nevermind, gimme that.” “We always have a good time together, and losing your HOT HEADED trait has made us even more compatible. However you didn’t make the romance gains that I expected you to this round. You’re still very much in the running - just something to keep in mind for next time. I look forward to you making me laugh - and more - during our date.”
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“Pauline, still steady as she goes. While you’re more reserved than some others, you’ve won every single one of your date competitions, and that shows you’re quietly determined in your own way. The difference between you and those ahead of you are romance levels and sentiments, so clearly we need to create some more great memories next round.”
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how scores were calculated
Notes: As it would have been more realistic, I gave pixels another formal outfit during this ceremony. Behind the scenes, let's say a haute couture rental company is promoting - and encouraging Lilac's whole sustainability schtick.
I tried to stay true to their style, and their likes and dislikes. The only one who disliked their clothes was my ungrateful pixel - smdh 😅
Also if you see an asterisk next to a sim's friendship and/or romance score, that means they were among the first to max out those and will receive bonus points for them from Round Three onwards (unlucky Pauline just missed out). How many points they'll receive, I don't yet know, as I'll have to play through Round Three and figure out an amount which will neither overpower nor underpower them.
@akitasimblr @igglemouse @changingplumbob @simsfvr @invisiblequeen
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iiheartarc · 1 day ago
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MY TAKE ON THE CAITVI DISCOURSE
total wordcount: 1591
I will say that I've briefly commented on their dynamic in the past, but it was worded really badly so I feel like I need to defend my writing skills a little bit as well with this, but that's just a sidenote. 💀
I think what a lot of people are missing when people do criticise CaitVi is that they aren't necessarily hating on the ship, it's what writing choices have done to it.
I'm not even going to even say I'm a CaitVi hater, I'm not (S1 CaitVi my beloved, you deserved better), but I do think the choices that writers made this season heavily effected how audiences portrayed the ship, even including myself.
Idk I hope this insight might give some people more perspective on why CaitVi became so hated in this season, people rlly need to start looking at both sides and not taking criticism as a personal attack. It really could've been avoided too if the writers had added more time or extended the series onto a third season, but that's another issue on its own.
1. Caitlyn hits Vi
I really don't get why people are so quick to defend Caitlyn on this one, especially considering the amount of hate Vi got when she hit Powder. Are both inexcusable? Yes. But I do think that the situation is a little different when it's a fifteen year old child who had just witnessed the death of her entire family and a twenty something year old woman who took out her anger and grief on the woman she loved because she blocked her shot.
I do think that people also do ignore the immense amount of trauma that Caitlyn suffered at the hand of Jinx, but unlike when Vi 'abandoned' Powder, (again, that's a whole other conversation, we know she was not abandoned), Vi was not that direct source of anguish to Caitlyn the way Powder was to Vi. (Pls lmk if you want me to expand further on this)
Again, not excusing Vi hitting Powder, I'm pointing out the differences.
It's then also incredibly tone deaf when Caitlyn hits her on two more occasions with the same gun, the third time being played off as a joke. It really doesn't come off well, especially when Vi had been a victim of police-brutality even before the abuse she faced at the hands of the enforcers in Stillwater.
And then, even after all this, it's never addressed. It's brushed over, like Vi's entire trauma in the show, the most we get is Caitlyn brushing her hand over Vi's abdomen in the cell scene. Again, can be taken as an apology, but I think that for some very specific things (like hitting your romantic partner), verbal apologies do need to be made in order to communicate healthily and somewhat build a healthier relationship.
I don't really want to talk about the abusive implications of this, because I don't think I'm someone who can talk about it with a full understanding because that's something I've fortunately never been through, but the blatant disregard and shunning of abuse survivors when they pull up the red flags raised because of this is disgusting. In real life, or if it had even been someone else in the show, if the ship had been a heterosexual relationship, people would call Caitlyn an abuser and would be outraged that Vi had been paired with her in the end. But I digress.
1. The cell sex scene
Initially I hadn't been too bothered about this when I had first watched the episode, but when you really think about it, it shouldn't have happened. Hell, they could've had sex in Caitlyn's office and half of the criticism wouldn't have happened, the ship wouldn't be so hated and the fandom wouldn't be half as divided as it is now (from what I've seen).
First and foremost, the cell.
All I can say is wtf. It was such a poor choice it's actually unfathomable to me now. I don't know why the writers thought that it'd be a good idea for Caitlyn and Vi to have their first time in a jail cell, not only the one Jinx had been locked in, but the one Vi had herself been locked in for what we can assume to be hours. The place of her abuse should not be somewhere where the writers could possibly think would be a suitable for a victim to have such an intimate moment with her partner.
Then there's the fact that Vi had looked to have had some sort of breakdown, we see she's sh and there are literal crates in the wall from where she punched it as well as her knuckles bleeding. As soon as she sees Caitlyn, there's a parallel to when they first met, to when Vi is quite literally caged. She's clearly not in the right state of mind, and so when the scene eventually happens it inevitably comes off as wrong because Vi is incredibly emotionally vulnerable in that moment.
"But Vi initiated it!" That still doesn't make it okay. I do think that this also came with an issue of timing, but then again, as I mentioned earlier, it literally could've been in the office as they argued and it would've been recieved so much better then the cell scene was. Vi wasn't breaking down, she wasn't locked in a reminder of the abuse she faced and her sister hadn't just ran off to do goodness knows what (in Vi's POV, us as the audience know exactly what she's about to do). They could've even have it fade to black and cut to the next scene tangled in bed doing whatever they would've been doing in the cell, Vi would assumably have had time to calm down, would be having sex in a warm and safe environment, and guess what? The audience would've been even happier.
Sure there would've been criticism, but Vi could literally save a thousand babies and adopt them all and still face hate, because a lot of the hate is being directed to Vi too because of the situation with Jinx. That, again, is a whole other situation.
3. "Dirt Under Your Nails"
Again, for the love of god, there can be so many takeaways from this sentence but do not be surprised that people didn't like it. I didn't, it made me cringe horribly.
And before people throw 'media literacy is dead', this whole post (practically essay), is analysing a piece of media that I love. To be literate, you can draw different interpretations and conclusions and that's exactly what I'm doing. It's like saying literacy is dead if two people were to disagree on what the meaning of Macbeth's quote 'I am in blood' meant.
I digress.
I think the main issue here is the class difference between Vi and Cait. Caitlyn is from the aristocracy, a direct heir to a position of power in Piltover, while Vi is lower class, effected indefinitely by growing up in poverty. Even though she grew up as Vander's kid, they were still 'scraping for scraps'. The wealth margin between the two is almost immeasurable, and with the difference in money comes a difference in experiences, as we - the audiences - know.
It especially comes off wrong considering the class tensions and political themes heavily focussed on within the first season. The conflict between Piltover and Zaun, the abuse of power and exploitation of Zaunites by both topside and the chembarons, the prevalence of police brutality on the streets of the Undercity. Again, Vi is someone who is directly effected by this, while Caitlyn came into this blissfully naïve. She did learn yes, and in s1 she was so determined to help, but when then this progress reverts into her calling zaunites 'animals' and using the grey as a weapon, it again makes Vi's words feel uncomfortable.
Again, I think this was a massive timing issue, I would've love to see Caitlyn succumb fully to a villain arc. It would've been so interesting to delve into.
I think Vi has always had the image of herself that she'll always be viewed as less by Piltover, that she herself views herself as less. She says it herself to Vander in s1 ep2 while they're on the bridge, "I grew up knowing I'm less than them." So when she then says as her final words in the show, "I'm the dirt under your nails" obviously, that's going to come across as tacky.
People are free to think of romantic connotations for this, I won't stop you, but when you think about how the show was so focussed on class tensions, police brutality, oppression and exploitation, it doesn't come off right. Idk, that's what got me so interested with the show in the first place, the way these themes were explored so deeply but subtly in a way that didn't feel forced, so Vi's words really rubbed me the wrong way.
Conclusion
So I hope everyone that read somewhat gets where I'm coming from, this was my attempt to try and explain what I think needed to be, badly. Again, you can like the ship, I'm not saying I don't, but it also needs to be acknowledged that there is so many things that could've been worked on properly, done properly or addressed properly, and ignoring criticism won't help these issues to be fixed in the future.
Feel free to ask any questions and thanks for reading this long ass rant :)
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izzydaninja · 2 days ago
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Something I noticed while (definitely not) editing something Sonic Prime related:
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In episode 1 of season 2, Sonic and Shadow finally confront each other about their world's destruction due to the prism.
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When Shadow leads Sonic back to the cave where it all started, they find the prism as a ghost, unfinished with a single fragment remaining. (A sign of their unity and division.)
Sonic states he'd do anything to be back, and Shadow finishes the statement: 'home.' They both wish to go back home, the same goal in mind. So, when Shadow tells Sonic there is still a chance, and Sonic follows him up to the prism, they're both standing in front of the prism shard on the same side: implying their shared goal.
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Then, as Shadow starts to explain things, something changes...
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He walks around the prism blueprint - making the prism a divider now.
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From this point on, they may share the same goals, but it's evident that they do not share the same ideals on how to reach it, leaving them arguing once more.
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No matter the shot...
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No matter the angle...
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The prism stands as their divider: two sides of the prism so-to-speak.
Even in a stand-alone shot with Shadow:
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They make sure to keep the shard in view for this shot; unlike any other stand-alone shot of him or Sonic, where the shard is not even visible.
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Not only is it a reminder that it's a divider, as it still sits in the way, but it's now present in a shot where Shadow outright declares: "Sonic! You literally broke our world. Why would I trust you to do anything!?" The prism shard is now a symbol of the home they lost (as it sits in a ghostly replica of their Green Hill).
After this, Sonic is cut off from anything he went to say as Shadow spindashes him across the cave, stating that he's taking charge on this one.
But the disagreement and fight isn't surprising (knowing the two), because they hinted at it from the beginning. Yes, they were fighting before Sonic fully knew what was going on, but at this point, they both know what's in play and they both want the same thing, but there's this hidden truth that they'll do different things to get what they want. Sonic even says himself, once Shadow says he's getting the shards: "No way, Shadow! I know what you're capable of and that's not gonna happen!" Then he's further defending his other friends in the different shatterspaces.
Sonic wants to go home, to fix what he broke, but where he'll team-up and help others as he goes, Shadow will push through and take out anyone who tries to stop him from fixing their home. The prism shard, standing as the symbol of their home, also shows the clear division between the two, even before they started disagreeing; giving us the heads up that the fight was coming.
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(Yes, I know these screenshots are quality garbage, but I didn't really have a better option available at the time, not unless I went further digging for the Netflix footage, but I didn't feel like it. Lol)
I just found this very interesting as I went through the cave scenes. Looking from shot-to-shot to notice the shard is only ever shown when directly between the two once this whole conversation starts.
Hope you all liked this little analysis-thing, because I don't know if I'll do any more in the future. XD I'm not much of an analyzer. I just like to talk about details and things I've noticed with my siblings or friends, so this was a step further than usual. I just figured: "I have the screenshots already, why not?" XD
Anyway, thanks for reading my rambles!
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skydigiblogs · 1 day ago
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Digimon and Nostalgia
i have a habit of just kind of passing by in the tags sometimes even when i'm quiet, and i'm realizing i don't know how much i've talked about the thought behind why we decided to revisit digimon last february from start to finish.
okay so fair warning, this is gonna be rambly and a little bit semi-incoherent because i feel like absolute dogshit today but the brain worms on the subject aren't leaving me alone to rest.
i am putting it under a read more for all our sanity
so there's this category of post i always see in the tags that seems to come from a place of either not engaging with enough digimon media or not engaging with the media.
that first one is a bit easier to explain. sometimes people will talk about things they want to see in the digimon franchise, and it's kind of clear that they have a very narrow scope of what they've actually seen from it.
i'm trying to think of an example that doesn't put recent posts i've seen on blast lmao (because that's not the point of this post), but also i think some of the points brought up by this post by @starwardking (pardon the tag) highlight the complexity of the first kind of issue, because it both is and isn't the kind of problem that can be fixed by just finding the right digimon media.
when i saw this post, my first instinct was to point to series like savers and appmon, where a majority of the plot takes place in the human world and allows for a lot of mundane shenanigans. i also think a bit about the earlier episodes of tamers.
(i think to some extent ghost game has a bit of domestic life shit going on, but seeing as it is also a horror anime, part of it is about the dissonance between "Normal for Digimon" and "Normal for Humans." but you also get episodes about little hideaways digimon live in in the human world so they can drink tea and share snacks. you also have digimon that just hang out in libraries and shit like that.)
at the same time, this is also an issue i think that isn't fixed by finding the right digimon media. the comparison to pokemon is what makes me consider this, specifically because of something like pokemon amie. it may have just been a minigame, but it's also something that, especially in the video games, i don't think we have a clear parallel to. i do agree that it would be nice to enjoy a bit of domestic fluff with your digimon!
but then i also recognize that i myself have also skipped over games where i could tell there would be some of that. i couldn't finish survive because it has elements i just can't handle either playing or watching. what i do remember in survive is that you have quite a few scenes early on in the school that are about resource management (figuring out how to digimon survive, as it were). this is done while you're also chatting with your human and digimon friends.
which i think segues better into the second kind of issue, being that sometimes i see these posts and they come from an angle where it seems someone hasn't exactly made an effort to engage with digimon as it is. there's a phenomenal video essay by deep dive on youtube, actually, that talks about this with regards to ghost game.
on the most abstract level, are you trying to be cognizant of your biases going into a piece of art when you take it in? what experiences make it difficult to engage with the text in a way that it wants you to engage? can you even see what the text is trying to say, even if it's ineffectual?
this is also why i wanted to tie this in with the reason i decided to make a blog to track my revisiting of all the different series.
nostalgia is killer, and not in a good way.
one of the things we regularly do with media we enjoy enough to praise is revisit it. if it's been over a year since i've watched something and i am trying to hype it up to someone, i want to not rely on my own memory, but also the text of that individual piece of art.
the second form of this issue comes about when an individual has an Idea about digimon, and they post with a very firm stance on what digimon is or is not. it's a retreading i think of the same reason anyone is willing to not consider appmon part of the digimon franchise (despite the "digimon universe" title).
again: what are your biases coming into a piece of art? do you have certain ideas about what digimon is supposed to look like? do you refuse to give other digimon media a fair chance because of it?
this form is more likely to get me to just block someone so i don't have to keep scrolling past them in the tags tbh. there's a mixture of "it was better in the old days" combined with a blatant lack of media literacy when "attempting" to engage with newer digimon media. you see this in a lot of franchises, to be fair, but it is always frustrating.
like i could also be biased because of my own background, being that i have an english degree, but there's something so... disappointing, i suppose, to the latter form of this criticism. if you're going to have a take, i want to see you articulate it. it's not a school assignment, sure, but what in god's name is making you come to that take?
i think the most painful series to see this with for me are savers and appmon, if only because i did rewatch them to better understand why i love them (and also what i really hate about them!).
savers especially is a show i watched because i was interested in seeing if the "MIB but if the aliens were Digimon" series could handle making any statement about the nature of law enforcement! and surprise surprise, it fucking did!
people probably feel the same way any time i post about frontier, which is a series i've been vocal about my dislike about (though i respect anyone willing to try to make frontiers better through their own art and writing). it's been a struggle to rewatch that series, but i also don't want to make strong judgments with firm backing because i know i have not seen it in years, nor have i seen the original sub.
i don't think i have a nice clean conclusion for this. it's an observation i keep having, and i don't think there's any particular solution for someone like me who just wants people to try a little harder to pick apart the things they like. i want people to understand how stories tick, and the things they both explicitly and implicitly say. it's the english teacher in me, i guess.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 years ago
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In the same bed, but not on the same page
[First] Prev <–->Next
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mags-writes · 1 year ago
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me, 14 and reading the end of mockingjay:
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me, 24 and reading the end of the ballad of songbirds and snakes:
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#the hunger games#the hunger games: mockingjay#mockingjay#the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#suzzane collins#no amount of poverty or tragedy could possibly make coriolanus snow into a decent person#i went into the book knowing that it would make him out to be sympathetic and then he would just be The Worst™#but he really really really REALLY is just The Fucking Worst™#spoiler! the man just up and stole his friends parents! the friend that he got KILLED!#also the way that she was always referred to at lucy gray/lucy gray baird was very telling#he never called her lucy. just lucy. it was always lucy gray#even in their last scene together he was calling out for lucy gray not lucy#idk something something he doesnt see her as herself he sees her as an idea a tribute on a pedestal she has to think the same way as him#and when she doesnt he gets angry she has to love him only and when she admits to having a lover before him he gets angry#he gets angry and she has to apologise he gets angry and its always her fault she's the backwards thinker and he's far above her#idk his superiority complex was so intriguing especially since i think lucy was playing him and the capital like a fucking fiddle#nearly everything she said was too perfect for her to actually think like that#and when she said something wrong she would sooth him over#both manipulators in their own way and for completely different reasons#his was for superiority and her's was for survival
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sysig · 27 days ago
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Cards 👏 cards 👏 cards 👏 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Damned#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#You may remember my DAX card - cough - and also my Stanley card! Also cough huh actually lol#Stanley's looked much more like this tho#Which would be because they're all part of the same printed set!#I actually have another like dozen-ish of these#Might show 'em off in the end-of-year roundup 👀 But for now it's just these guys! The sillies!#In very legible ink lol - I can read it and they're my notes so that's the important bit#I think Thrax's last name would actually be ''Roja'' tho so that's on me#Also why is Drix called Drixenol when his full first name is Drixobenzometaphendramine - where's the L come from#I've been Jonesing - pun intended - to fill out Ozzy's ''personality'' section for aaaggesss#I keep trying to pick at a scene with him and it's just not turning out! Need an easy-overview of his traits and features lol#I did actually have a new idea after making these so I think I was onto something lol#He has a very fun character type ♪ He's oddly socially aware for how annoying he can be! He does it on purpose!!#Drix is the exact opposite so they're great contrasts to each other hehe <3 Drix Tries to be helpful and fumbles it but he's so earnest!#Also finally got me decided on their room placements - so much easier to coordinate them at Night with that square#They don't have roommates Yet but based on who was inhabiting which rooms originally....o3o It's an idea isn't it hmmm#I went and read Thrax's description on one of his wiki pages as well and he was described as ''Cold'' and I was like uhm???#Like yes he does kill in cold-blood - he's pretty unflinching and indiscriminate with what and who he aims his fire power at#But with his hot-headed attitude and overall heat aesthetic I have a difficult time calling him Cold exactly - cool for sure! Haha#But yeah I dunno about that - he's also a nerd which I find very fun haha sets up a powerpoint presentation for his thugs#And just ends up doing the main bit himself anyway! He just likes to talk about his plans hehehe#It really is double-fun to have them all from different points in their timelines ahh ♪ Who and what they know so fun to play in#The secret-keeping and surprises are my favourite part! Mismatch and uncertainty! Love that#I also had a lot of fun with their background splashes :) Ozzy gets blue cells - Drix gets his pills and some fizzles#And Thrax's cell-destroying fire and flames were stylized so cool! Also has a bit of a pollen look as well! I enjoy
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thattheater-kid · 7 days ago
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Georgie: You know, I always wondered, why did I split? It doesn’t make any sense. Why me?
Our out of sys younger brother: It’s actually mathematically impossible to give more than 100 percent.
Our out of sys mother: I have to focus more on your brother, he’s special and he’s smart, he’s gonna do great things. You understand, he just needs more of my attention. You can take care of yourself.
Our out of sys father: Hey kid, can you go get me another beer? If you do it, I’ll let you have a sip.
Me: That’s why.
Georgie: Yeah I see it now.
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autumnrory · 4 months ago
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i've been going into the liam tag from time to time the last year where both his fans and people who hated him were Weird about him well before there were any allegations so i would get curious, i don't even remember what started it (maybe it was merely looking for photos that update accounts wouldn't post), but i normally try to avoid going into anything but edit tags for people i enjoy bc there are so many nonsense takes
and of course happening to go through today before the news broke bc i wanted to see what was being said about the abuse as i've only gotten bits on twitter and of course there were many posts rightfully calling it out and all but there's that weird mentality which i was getting a lot more of from twitter but some on here where they're like??? celebrating it and girlboss-ing and i'm just like. okay it's great that you're believing a victim but you're making light of it by talking about it like it's just another stan thing, i have seen that time and time again when this kind of stuff comes out and if people already thought that person was annoying or whatever they're just like "oh yes! i knew it! their career is ruined haha!" and it's like. you clearly don't actually care about the horrible things this person has done and just want to brag that you somehow ~knew~ a stranger's vibes were off and it's so beyond gross like you could use that energy to support a person's victims and instead you'll just try to prove you stan the right people and never the wrong ones or whatever
#and then there were. weird ones#some apparent larrie who didn't seem to like either louis or harry#literally the post that popped up was talking about louis knowing he can't stand on his own bc he can't sing like#has he not very much proven he can stand on his own#he's not as famous post 1d as say harry but i doubt he wants to be lol even harry doesn't want to be#he stays off social media and just gets papped sometimes like both clearly thrive on stage just in different ways ya know#so that was just unnecessary and a block#and then someone else not defending liam or anything but talking about how they're probably all horrible to women#and niall and harry apparently cheating on gfs (never heard anything about that not that i think harry's relationships have been real#and it took me a while to realize when talking about niall having songs written about him they probs meant hailee but#idec what those songs are and if they reference cheating so whatever i think i'm out of the loop on rumors and stuff#where i used to always know what was going on with 1d like i wouldn't have even known about liam if not for the fyp on twitter#bc truly i just don't follow people who post about their personal lives anymore not a choice or anything just that the og 1d blogs are gone#but i was like okay even if any of THAT is true why on earth would you put that on par with abuse. why.#cheating is sooooooooo fucking shitty and i truly hate it but like not the same???#oh and saying niall is a bad person for taking a selfie with him even though none of us know what he knew esp at that point like#most of this seemed to be coming out right after the concert like come on#there's just sooooooo much all around of people pretending they know these people personally#both to defend and criticize and it's just like please i love 1d so much i always will#but man like believe victims always but also don't blindly believe every other random rumor you hear#or that you know exactly what's going on behind the scenes bc you don't and you never will#oh and ofc someone wondering about his other exes like tbf we don't know how much addiction and whatnot came into play#so yeah it might not all be recent developments but are you really gonna ask about danielle who as an adult dated 17 year old liam
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exopelagic · 2 months ago
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DND IS SO FUCKING COOL
#played my first session!! my friend rlly wanted to dm a session he’s been planning for weeks so we did it!! and holy FUCK#can I. play more game pls#I made a character extremely last minute and showed up with a druid who thought we were in a Very different kind of story#he thought this was fun adventure journey of self discovery and I am going to minimise details#bc I know at least one of the other players is on tumblr#but anyway dm hits us with like children in danger and people being tortured and seeing your friends die and holy FUCK#and that changes a character!! instantly!! and it was so cool to experience that shift#like Oh this is what it feels like to be about to die#the dm was also honestly like. playing into a bunch of normal fantasy tropes and it makes you realise More how fucked they are#also as predicted playing a druid is so insanely fun#I love spellcasting actually and ALSO predictably control spells are so fun. there was a chase scene for my character specifically that#probably was Not meant to happen I just turned out to have misty step and entangle and sleep which Really helps#can’t believe I forgot about hiding with wild shape but I think that would’ve actually broken the dms plan entirely.#GOD I wanna play more dnd#this may or may not become a regular thing and I Really hope it does bc I’m obsessed with my friend’s character#and this group had such a fun vibe#will see what happens!! gonna talk to the dm abt it later#devastating that I’m now going home and won’t be able to play at all until the new year + there straight up just isn’t time before I leave#I could potentially plan a session on like. Tuesday but that would be insane and I now have greater doubts abt dming#I am truly not the same guy I was at the start of this term and I don’t know if I could do that anymore. will think abt it!#dnd tag#I was ALSO right in thinking I’d be frustrated by warlock 2 spell slots bc resource scarcity brain was chafing at 6#OH and the moral calculations I had to do in the scenario the dm put together were So interesting. you learn shit about your character#+ also yourself#ANYWAY IM DONE TYPING IF ONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS SAW THIS NO YOU DIDNT PLS KEEP SCROLLING LOVE YOU BYE <3
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mcmansionhell · 1 year ago
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we've found it folks: mcmansion heaven
Hello everyone. It is my pleasure to bring you the greatest house I have ever seen. The house of a true visionary. A real ad-hocist. A genuine pioneer of fenestration. This house is in Alabama. It was built in 1980 and costs around $5 million. It is worth every penny. Perhaps more.
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Now, I know what you're thinking: "Come on, Kate, that's a little kooky, but certainly it's not McMansion Heaven. This is very much a house in the earthly realm. Purgatory. McMansion Purgatory." Well, let me now play Beatrice to your Dante, young Pilgrim. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
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It is rare to find a house that has everything. A house that wills itself into Postmodernism yet remains unable to let go of the kookiest moments of the prior zeitgeist, the Bruce Goffs and Earthships, the commune houses built from car windshields, the seventies moments of psychedelic hippie fracture. It is everything. It has everything. It is theme park, it is High Tech. It is Renaissance (in the San Antonio Riverwalk sense of the word.) It is medieval. It is maybe the greatest pastiche to sucker itself to the side of a mountain, perilously overlooking a large body of water. Look at it. Just look.
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The inside is white. This makes it dreamlike, almost benevolent. It is bright because this is McMansion Heaven and Gray is for McMansion Hell. There is an overbearing sheen of 80s optimism. In this house, the credit default swap has not yet been invented, but could be.
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It takes a lot for me to drop the cocaine word because I think it's a cheap joke. But there's something about this example that makes it plausible, not in a derogatory way, but in a liberatory one, a sensuous one. Someone created this house to have a particular experience, a particular feeling. It possesses an element of true fantasy, the thematic. Its rooms are not meant to be one cohesive composition, but rather a series of scenes, of vastly different spatial moments, compressed, expanded, bright, close.
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And then there's this kitchen for some reason. Or so you think. Everything the interior design tries to hide, namely how unceasingly peculiar the house is, it is not entirely able to because the choices made here remain decadent, indulgent, albeit in a more familiar way.
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Rare is it to discover an interior wherein one truly must wear sunglasses. The environment created in service to transparency has to somewhat prevent the elements from penetrating too deep while retaining their desirable qualities. I don't think an architect designed this house. An architect would have had access to specifically engineered products for this purpose. Whoever built this house had certain access to architectural catalogues but not those used in the highest end or most structurally complex projects. The customization here lies in the assemblage of materials and in doing so stretches them to the height of their imaginative capacity. To borrow from Charles Jencks, ad-hoc is a perfect description. It is an architecture of availability and of adventure.
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A small interlude. We are outside. There is no rear exterior view of this house because it would be impossible to get one from the scrawny lawn that lies at its depths. This space is intended to serve the same purpose, which is to look upon the house itself as much as gaze from the house to the world beyond.
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Living in a city, I often think about exhibitionism. Living in a city is inherently exhibitionist. A house is a permeable visible surface; it is entirely possible that someone will catch a glimpse of me they're not supposed to when I rush to the living room in only a t-shirt to turn out the light before bed. But this is a space that is only exhibitionist in the sense that it is an architecture of exposure, and yet this exposure would not be possible without the protection of the site, of the distance from every other pair of eyes. In this respect, a double freedom is secured. The window intimates the potential of seeing. But no one sees.
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At the heart of this house lies a strange mix of concepts. Postmodern classicist columns of the Disney World set. The unpolished edge of the vernacular. There is also an organicist bent to the whole thing, something more Goff than Gaudí, and here we see some of the house's most organic forms, the monolith- or shell-like vanity mixed with the luminous artifice of mirrors and white. A backlit cave, primitive and performative at the same time, which is, in essence, the dialectic of the luxury bathroom.
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And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home. The McMansion can aspire to an art form, but there are still many levels to ascend before one gets to where God's sitting.
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trashwithvariety · 2 months ago
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so this has probably already been talked about in great detail since the end of the show (hannibal) but I just did a rewatch and I can't shut up about it. the incredible level of subtle details in this show is already insane but I noticed it much clearer in my rewatch during season 3 part two how quickly we see Will change.
during *The Great Red Dragon*, Will is back to mostly his pre-Hannibal self. We see him married with a family out in the country with his dogs and more specifically his clothes (I am going to be very specific about what he wears in this because it's these details that are so subtle but make his change so much more crispy). He's wearing very practical, warm weather clothes, looks like an outdoorsman.
like, reminder that this ↓
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is how he shows up to meet Hannibal again for the first time in years. Glasses, coat, clearly clothes he would not think twice about wearing anywhere, kind of like how he dresses in season one. It's also in his expression and his stature (which bless Hugh Dancy for his portrayal of Will because I don't know who else could have done the subtle changes so eloquently)
now let me take you to the episode directly after (And the Woman Clothed with the Sun) he first sees Hannibal and has to come back to talk to him
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i'm sorry??? Immediately with the crisp button down, tucked in, with the top buttons undone, hair slicked back, NO GLASSES and look. Look at how he stands and his expression and how comfortable he is, hands in pockets.
okay further evidence. And honestly arguably the scariest piece
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it's the dead-eyed stare for me. We all know what happened to Chilton after this, and it's the fact that he knew what he was doing. God, Will was never more like Hannibal than he was at the end of season three. Clothes are not much different on purpose because he's playing the game now.
Sidebar that in almost all the scenes that he's bitchily talking to Bedelia, he's also very well dressed as if he's taking Hannibal's place in his manipulation of her.
By the time we see him in The Wrath of the Lamb, he has already decided that he wants Hannibal back. Vaguely suggesting to Jack to use Hannibal as bait for the Dragon, as if he didn't very well consider all the outcomes would likely lead to Hannibal escaping. The way they're looking conspiratorially at each other in the back of the van. How Will isn't even remotely surprised he walks out unscathed or how he doesn't question letting him drive them to wherever they're going to meet the dragon.
And once they get to the cliffside house, and they get settled and Will?
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His shirt is tight, his expression is the SAME as the one Hannibal had in episode ONE season ONE, as he watches Hannibal BLEED OUT and wonders probably what they will do.
There are plenty of ways everyone that worked on this show displayed how Will was changing but I loved how they used his clothes to do it and how Hugh used his expressions to differentiate pre-Hannibal and post-Hannibal Will.
I could write a dissertation on this show it's insane and I will never shut up about my murderous gay husbands.
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awarmbowlofhomemadesoup · 7 months ago
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What I love about Dungeon Meshi is that it writes platonic relationships with the same weight romantic stories would normally be written.
The Character that Got Their Heart Broken Too Many Times
Humanity broke Laois' heart. This is taken advantage later on by the Wingled Lion, but I digress.
Laois got bullied in all-boys school to the point that he ran away to become a soldier. Heartbreak #1.
He got harrassed in the training camp to the point that he became a deserter. Heartbreak #2.
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The combination of these events were so bad, his lack of basic self-care can be a sign of a depressive state. If Falin hadn't joined him, who knows what would've happened to him.
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Laois was so happy when he became friends with Shuro and felt so betrayed when Toshiro said he couldn't stand him. Not exactly a heartbreak #3 but it hurt all the same. They got past it but Laois remembers.
And when Kabru, for once in his life, stopped playing poker and laid down his cards, Laois wasn't going to let his heart be hurt for the fourth time.
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The biggest thing that stands out to me in this manner is how Kabru's blurted confession of wanting to be friends with Laois was treated as much as a big revelation as a romantic one. Because the weight of that confession is Kabru's character development.
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The Character Whose Sincerity Doesn't Come Easy for Him
This guy grew up being infantilized and not taken seriously by the elves for being a short-lived race. So, he honed diplomacy as sharp as his assassin's blade.
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He knows the right things to say and when to say them, making him well-liked by everyone (much to his team's chagrin over their loved ones). And yet his personal cause puts a distance between him and his trusted teammates (including his childhood friend).
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To say his true feelings and thoughts would end up with long-lived races dismissing him for being unwise and irrational.
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So he keeps his cards to himself and works with subtlety throughout the manga, until things got worse, and he couldn't make Laois stay.
And he was left with nothing but to be sincere.
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Right from the start, he said he wanted the Touden siblings to be unmasked. But in the end, he unmasked himself, much to his horror.
Addition edit: Kabru has been keeping his cards close to himself for so long, I don't think he realized what he really feels until he blurted it out. He chased after Laois throughout the dungeon because Laois might defeat the mad sorcerer. But for a guy who wants to understand everyone, he never understands what he feels about Laois and what that feeling means until his brain catches up with his mouth.
After decking Laois for not believing him, Kabru elaborated in his confession. He has developed a platonic crush (plush for short) or desire to be friends with Laois because:
1. Kabru wants to understand how Laois could love the very thing Kabru hates. Hate is just another face of fear. We fear what we don't understand. To understand Laois is to understand monsters. I think Kabru finds it admirable that Laois could admire monsters when everyone just view them as a threat.
2. He wants Laois to care about the same thing he does, which is saving humanity. Laois and co. are willing to side with the demon to protect Marcille from the Canaries. By asking to be Laois friend, Kabru becomes Laois' link to humanity that whatever they would do from there with the demon, please don't forget how it might affect other people outside his friends. And by gods, this is important to Kabru's development because he has never asked for help for his cause nor asked anyone to care because he's too used to the self-serving nature of all races. And yet, he chose to believe in Laois. Because if Laois could go that for his sister and elven friend, what more if he could do the same for what Kabru cares the most?
However, it was only in the end that they were able to talk after things had settled down. And they are so different and so alike at the same time.
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In this scene, there are two differing thoughts:
Laois, who experienced social rejection growing up: Do you still mean it?
Kabru, who had to deal with those of higher power: Are you testing me?
But they're still thinking the same thing: Is this real?
Like, all of their motivations have the weight often molded into romantic plots in any other story. A character who got their heart broken too many times and another character whose honesty does not come easy for them. But it's not a romantic story, but a start of a beautiful friendship.
There are more examples out there, but this is what came to my mind. Feel free to add more.
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ephemii · 4 months ago
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As I'm playing the Nightmare Before Christmas event, in the scene where the students are shocked to find out that Jack Skellington doesn't know what or where twisted wonderland is, I just can't help but wonder how Yuu would feel. Everyone is baffled, stressed, uncertain,,, do they understand how yuu felt the moment they had found themselves surrounded by coffins, estranged from their home?
It's another lost in the book event where it's established that the students aren't truly in Twisted Wonderland, but comparing the reactions in this event with the Stitch event where the majority of the characters didn't really show all that much fear about their estrangement, twst NBC's featured characters are more aware of how scary and dire the situation is...
Leona concludes that the place they found themselves in "doesn't follow their logic/common sense" (rough translation bear with me lol), and I just keep thinking of yuu!! That's the same case for them, since the very start! Magic?? Beastmen?? Being pulled into a different world/dimension to begin with?? Yeah, that certainly doesn't follow any logic they know of! And the way Skully and Jack show barely any remorse or true worry about how the other might feel about this sort of situation at first is exactly as jarring as it was for yuu when they were hurled from one situation to another with extreme dismissiveness from Crowley!!
I might be reaching a little bit but GOSH that part just got me?? Yuu is my roman empire OTL
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aashi-heartfilia · 1 year ago
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The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao
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*light novel spoilers*
I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)
And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?
POISON
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She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.
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And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.
I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.
And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.
One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.
So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.
Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:
She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.
Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.
It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.
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And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.
They both are hypocrites.
And they both refuse to accept their feelings.
In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....
Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"
"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”
Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.
Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.
“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”
It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.
Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.
The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.
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More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.
Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.
Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.
Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.
It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....
She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.
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Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!
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So, she got interested in poison.
Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.
And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.
Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.
But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).
Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)
Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.
~Sunshine
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