#even in their last scene together he was calling out for lucy gray not lucy

[mags-writes]

me, 14 and reading the end of mockingjay:

me, 24 and reading the end of the ballad of songbirds and snakes:

[erwinsvow]

was watching the latest hunger games and i don’t know if you’ve seen it but there’s a scene with snow and lucy gray that is so reader and rafe core. like the scene where he kills the mayor’s daughter and lucy gray is in hysterics and he just grabs her, warns her to pull herself together and go back outside and pretend like he’s not just killed someone and i’m like this is so rafe and his casual dominance with reader. 😍😍

babe STOP you are SOOO onto something here.. + that scene in the movie had me FERAL!!!!! picturing season two after limbrey kills that guy (im so sorry i cannot recall any names.. was too busy staring at rafe's arms)

"oh my god!" you squeal, eyes wide like coins, tears filling up and almost spilling over in a matter of seconds. "oh my god, oh my god-"

rafe fucked up. he shouldn't have gotten you anywhere near this situation, it's his own fault. your insistence on not being too far from him and his own ego that found pleasure in that fact had won him over. rafe liked that you liked him, that you needed him around.

but right now he can tell what you're thinking—probably something along the lines of the fact that he was insane, that his dead body had appeared and he was going to take care of it because he wasn't reacting at all like you were, how any normal person would.

limbrey was staring at you, and a sudden fear ran through his mind that she might try and hurt you too.

"go inside-" he barks at the older lady, who doesn't move, gun in her hand. "go inside! m'gonna have to take care of this, leave-" she stalks off, while you watch with your big wet eyes, shoulders shaking, voice run dry from your screaming.

your reaction is normal, expected. he can't find it himself to even be remotely angry. he leaves the dead body where it is, hands finding your shoulders and dragging you away, like that might help you.

"hey, listen to me. listen to me." he says sternly, and you listen obediently, if not due to fear. "don't scream. don't worry. m'gonna take care of this-this mess, okay? we're gonna be fine."

"r-rafe, she k-killed someone. we, we have to call the police-"

"we're not calling anyone. m'gonna handle it. he was a bad guy, okay, no one's gonna miss him."

"a-and that makes it okay? rafe, you-"

"hey," he barks and you freeze up, listening. "listen, kid, have i ever gotten you hurt? haven't i kept you safe? hm?" he wants an answer, so you nod, still shell shocked. "s'gonna be fine. keep it together. i can't have you like this. we're gonna be fine."

"o-okay." you look down at your white shirt, observing tiny little dots of blood. "what, what do i-"

"go inside. throw this shirt in the fireplace. and then go upstairs to my room and take a shower. okay? i gotta take care of this first. then i'll come join you, got it? alright?"

"okay," you repeat, nodding, frozen. you look up at your boyfriend one last time, trusting him like you always do, even when a little part of you is screaming to run and take off in the other direction. "what're you gonna d-do, with him, uh-"

"i don't know, kid. i need to get you away from it first. just go upstairs, please-" your shoulders relax as soon as the sentence leaves his lips. your mind goes fuzzy, like it always does around rafe, but hearing that even in this insane, unfathomable situation, that his first priority is you, makes your head spin.

you lean in, pressing a kiss to rafe's lips, not pulling away until a minute has passed, your shaking hands tight on his arms.

like always, you follow the instructions he's given you, walking away and heading inside, shedding your clothes and burning them, cleaning yourself in the scalding water until you can smell nothing but the vanilla of your soap and the pine of rafe's shampoo. once out, you put on one of his shirts and some of his long white socks, everything feeling cold still.

you wait patiently on his bed, not able to focus on anything on your phone. when rafe walks in, you don't move, letting him come sit beside you.

"what did you-" you start, before being interrupted.

"don't ask, kid." rafe doesn't sound mad, rather protective. "if i tell you, you're in this shit now. can't have that."

you wrap your arms around his neck, crawling into rafe's lap and into a tight hug. his hands tense around your waist, and you close your eyes, inhaling the scent of his skin. he doesn't smell like blood, at the very least, so you think he hasn't done anything crazy yet.

or crazier, you correct yourself.

"the swamp. in the woods. there's gators, and foxes, and who knows what else." it comes out as a whisper, like you're scared that the walls might overhear. "if you bring him there, no one will find him. if no one finds him you can't get in trouble."

rafe pulls out of the hug to look at you, all shaky limbs and wet eyes. he presses a kiss to your forehead.

[evansbby]

I finally watched a ballad of songbirds and snakes and here are my thoughts!!! (movie and book spoilers below the cut!!!)

Overall I think it was a PHENOMENAL movie. Especially Tom Blyth as Coriolanus Snow, he was just incredible. The subtlety in his expressions, how he portrayed cool confidence as well as awkwardness that lies beneath… he was just WOW.

AND Rachel Zeigler as Lucy Gray!!! She was incredible and so charming!!! I loved her accent and the little things like how she’d call Coryo “gorgeous” and “sweetheart” I was scared they’d make her a typical Hollywood girlboss and I think I got maybe one or two glimpses of that, but for the most part she was just brilliant and an amazing singer too!

I think they adapted the book into a movie really well.

But here are some things they cut out which I wish they included: (there are some I’ll miss bc I’m rusty with the book since I read it one year ago)

— Clemensia’s fate. The last we see of her is when she sticks her hand in the snake pit and gets bit by the snake and exposed as a liar. But in the book, the snake bite literally has a physical effect on her like her skin becomes yellow and also her eyes, she starts growing scales, her brain is altered by the venom too. She basically becomes like a snake and they showed none of that??? In fact we never see Clemensia again??

— Arachne’s funeral scene. This scene was SO poignant in the book bc of how they paraded Brandy’s dead body and one of the things I remember so clearly and I understand maybe it was too gruesome but I really feel like it should’ve been included in the movie. It really really showed how the Capitol treated the tribute kids. I was really waiting for this scene and they never showed it so that was a bit of a letdown.

— They should’ve showed more of the exchanges between Sejanus and Marcus. They went to school together in district 2, and they REALLY should’ve highlighted this a lot in the movie, to show that it easily could’ve been Sejanus in his place has things been different. Idk I just felt like there was more to explore there. Marcus barely had any lines in the movie.

— The Covey was barely explored and introduced at all. Maude Ivory and the rest of them barely had a speaking line! I know the movie was very long so I understand they had to cut a lot of things out but the Covey was so important to LG’s character and it’s a shame they basically got cut out.

Okay and now I have a few good things to say. My favourite parts included the way they filmed the bombing of the arena in the beginning, with the shot of LG and Coryo and bombs just going off all around them. Visually it looked pretty cool.

Also the hunger games themselves were very interesting to watch! They were actually my least fav part of the book (the district 12 part aka part 3 was my fav in the book) but the movie made the hunger games so interesting! Loved it from beginning to end.

I just need to talk about my biggest problem with this movie. Now I’ve read the book and the book mad it obvious from the beginning that Coryo was… Not Good. But in the movie this wasn’t very obvious. My friend, who hasn’t read the book, literally was on Coryo’s side and thought he was justified throughout… I feel like the movie should’ve showed Coryo’s hatred for the districts more, his shame for being poor more, his hatred for Sejanus more, even his second thoughts about leaving with Lucy Gray… none of that was obvious in the movie. My friend thought the movie deliberately made Coryo look not that bad, which defeats the purpose of the book in my opinion. In the book, it’s always somehow made clear that Coryo is not good. He does good things but innately… there’s always something off about him. Movie didn’t show that enough imo. Like his possessive nature especially was never highlighted. I mean ofc Coryo gets progressively worse and he does have his good moments in the book too BUT the book makes it clear that he had sooo many chances to make the right choice and he just… doesn’t IDEK im scared no one is gonna get what I’m trying to say

SEJANUS is probably my biggest gripe in this movie. In the book, he was my favourite character. He was the only one speaking sense, the only one who was so passionate about how THG were wrong and how the treatment of the districts was wrong. In the movie, I’m so sorry but he came across whiny and annoying. He wasn’t being passionate like how I imagine him in the book, he just…. fell a bit flat for me. So much so that when his execution happened, it fell flat for me too. As opposed to when I read it in the book… you guys I CRIED and couldn’t breathe and felt sick to my stomach. Had they better highlighted how much Sejanus trusted and seemed to love Snow, his death would’ve had more impact in the movie. Idk how to explain it but I just didn’t like Sejanus in the movie? The acting felt flat, the guy was doing nothing for me… and in the book he was everything bc he was the one saying what all us readers were thinking!!! My friend who hasn’t read the book found Sejanus INCREDIBLY annoying too. Idk.

A lot of people said that the third act in the movie was too brief but to me it felt too long? Maybe bc I knew what was coming. I liked the ending, I think it was done really well. Exactly how I imagined it in the book. I also wished they’d showed LG and Coryo kissing more in the film. They only kissed once??? Whereas in the book they were always kissing??? And I wish they showed Coryo’s reaction to the first kiss, like in the book he fell asleep repeating the kiss in his head, likeeee idk I wish they’d have translated that initial infatuation better in the movie.

BUT APART FROM THAT.. and I know I’m missing so much more but I’m so tired… but yeah, this movie was really good, it was really special, it was entertaining throughout and I wasn’t bored even for a second!!!

I’d give it 8.5/10

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

I watched TBOSAS today (Sunday) and I’m sadly not very well (bad cold or flu), but I wanted to try and make a little post to appreciate the film/give my thoughts.

I saw the first three Hunger Games movies on opening weekend during my teens - the only one I didn’t watch at the cinema was Mockingjay Part 2, because it coincided with my GCSE mocks and some other stuff I had going on. I saw the first one twice at the cinema, once on opening weekend with one friend and then a second time with my then-best friend a few weeks later; I saw CF and MJP1 with my younger sister on opening weekend because it’s one of the few series we both love and so it’s one of the few things we can both enjoy together. My point is that I’m a huge THG fan, have been since I read the first book in late 2011 when I was 13 - I even still have my Mockingjay pin that I bought in March 2012 from Waterstones that I still wear!

Anyway, I read TBOSAS during lockdown, my sister bought the book and let me read it after she did, so this has been one of my most anticipated movies of the year!

!Spoilers below!

I was ill when I watched it and I’m even iller now but I’ll try to remember as much as I can

I LOVED IT

I’m glad they made Coriolanus Snow hot because I felt so conflicted watching him and that’s EXACTLY what was needed for the character, he’s got this beautiful exterior but he is POISON inside

Rachel Zegler was AMAZING by the way, I’m not her biggest fan by any means but I say fuck the haters

Hunter Schafer as Tigris was AMAZING casting, she really needs to shine away from Euphoria because damn she was so good in this film

Just in general casting ATE in this movie; Viola Davis, Peter Dinklage, Jason Schwartzman etc

Tigris was spot on: “I wouldn’t sing a note for you” and pointing out that Coryo needed to get Lucy Gray’s trust in order to help her win

Arachne Crane deserved death, idc 🤷‍♀️

NO ARACHNE FUNERAL LIKE THE BOOK?!?

The fact that the tributes were just dumped in a zoo and put on display like animals?!? Compared to six and a half decades later where the tributes are glammed up and treated like royalty, even allowed to train before entering the arena??? I love how starkly different it is

I won’t lie, Lucky Flickerman stole the film whenever he was in the scene 😭😅 absolute scene stealer?!?

Lucky trying to cancel his dinner reservations on night 1 of the games because “this is taking longer than I expected” 💀

Also telling one of the mentors not to puke on the floor after their tribute was killed?!?! Iconic really

“Those drones really are not very good” - PLEASE 😭

You can definitely tell Lucky is an ancestor of Caesar lol

The bow and arrow when Coryo enters the arena?!?! 👀🏹

Coryo killing Bobbin was BRUTAL. He could have stopped after the first hit, that was self defence - but he carried on and kept hitting him. It was definitely a huge moment

I obviously knew Wovey wasn’t going to survive, but god DAMN it 😭 DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE HER SO SWEET AND LIKEABLE?!? She just wanted to go home, and those were her last words before she was killed by the snakes 😭

Coryo really cheated just so Lucy Gray could survive, and it still has me questioning whether he cares for her or if it is just to do with the Plinth prize? 🤔

“What are the Hunger Games for, Mister Snow?” And all I can think about was him explaining in the original HG movie why there’s a Victor, why they don’t just kill 24 kids at random:

THE SNAKE SCENE IN THE ARENA WHERE LUCY GRAY SINGS?!? ASDFGHJKL THIS IS CINEMA

The Games felt so much more primal and sad, like you could tell all of them were just trying to survive, even Coral who seemed to target Lucy Gray ruthlessly but then before her death made the comment that it can’t have all been for nothing…

The fact that Gaul didn’t want to call an end to the games even though Lucy Gray was the final survivor, and it was only when the other mentors were chanting to let her out, to call it, that she finally did it…

I nearly lost my shit during the first hanging scene because I suddenly remembered that THIS was what the Hanging Tree song was based on; “they strung up a man they say who murdered three” “dead man called out for his love to flee” etc. And that is EXACTLY what happened, right to a tee: the man protesting his innocence, calling for his love to go…

Listen I may be REALLY off, but the meadow where Coryo and Lucy Gray met up again… is it the same meadow from the final scene in Mockingjay P2 with Everlark and their kids?!?

It probably isn’t but it reminded me of it idk

THE KATNISS PLANT - FORESHADOWING 😭 “it’s not ready yet” “things change fast” ASDFGHJKL

SEJANUS PLINTH YOU HAVE ALWAYS DESERVED BETTER 😭 knew it was coming but I was so sad

The scene where they hang Sejanus was so chilling, because the birds (i think they were Jabberjays and not Mockingjays but I could be wrong?) repeated his blood curdling calls for help as he was hung, like I was so haunted by it afterwards

No wonder Coriolanus Snow hates the fucking birds, Jesus Christ

THE CABIN AND WOODS SCENES?!?

The absolute tonal shift when he finds the guns, when Lucy Gray remarks that she’s the only loose end as if it’s a taunt, a challenge etc.

Coriolanus running through the woods, screaming “AFTER EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE FOR YOU?!?” - it just SCREAMS toxic relationship quite frankly, like whether you believe there was any genuine love at all or not, it just screams how toxic the relationship was between them. It was doomed from the start frankly

I was so concerned that the film would make it clear whether or not he killed Lucy Gray, but thankfully they left it ambiguous just like the book. Did one of his bullets hit her? Did she fly free?

It’s so interesting that Lucy Gray and her games were completely and utterly wiped, there was no trace of them - but her songs, her art, survived even after she disappeared. Songs like the Meadow song and the Hanging Tree survived and were passed on through District 12, becoming part of their culture - Snow couldn’t destroy that, no matter how hard he might have tried

Someone on Twitter made this comment and I agree:

Also YES, I noticed that Tigris called him “Coryo” until their last scene together, and then it was “Coriolanus” 😭 and also the fact that she warned him not to turn into his father, his father had hate in his eyes… and then at the end, she sadly tells him “you look like your father, Coriolanus” 😭

The small little hints of the man Coriolanus Snow is in the original series though??? The roses, the Katniss plant Easter egg, etc. And then there’s the fact we see glimpses of what later became his preferred method of killing his enemies - poison. He put poison in the compact and gave it to Lucy Gray, and then he poisoned Casca Highbottom… it’s just so fascinating to think of who this young 18 year old becomes later on, the way he changed over the course of the next 64 years and how those changes came directly from what happened in this story.

Ending the film with Donald Sutherland’s delivery of “It’s the things we love the most that destroy us” from the original movies?!?! FUCK YEAH I WAS THIS CLOSE TO SCREAMING

Honestly it’s got to be VERY hard to play a younger version of a Donald Sutherland character, but especially this one because that man KILLED the part in the films, but I think Tom Blyth did a really good job and I could definitely see hints of the older Snow being included in his performance, like I could genuinely believe it was the same character?

The fact that 64 years later a dark haired girl from District 12 wearing a mockingjay pin and singing songs once sung by a girl he thought dead absolutely fucked his life up?!? We love to see it. It’s like Lucy Gray gave him a middle finger lol

I’ll be honest, as soon as we left the cinema I said to my sister “the only thing is now I want to watch the original four Hunger Games movies” 😭

That’s all I can think of right now because I’m very feverish, I’ve got work in the morning and it was also a long film so there was a LOT going on, but I absolutely LOVED IT. The Hunger Games has truly been the only franchise that has a prequel that has been nearly universally loved and accepted by the fans, Suzanne Collins is truly amazing.

[targwh0re]

Well considering the hunger games was originally meant to be a stand alone, I don’t see why she can’t also turn the Ballad into a trilogy…

Yes, I understand she wants something meaningful to write about when she does but there is so much going on in the world that she could pull from.

Also, there is so much left open with Snow at the end of the books. What happened completely between him and Tigris, what other things did he implement into the games, and hell I’ll read his campaign run. We don’t even have to bring Lucy Gray back, leave her a mystery with her song flying around his mind through the last two novels.

The next one could be about his first year as a game maker, now he’s really pulling the strings from behind the scenes, and this time he’s allowed. If he’s already in control, what rules did he find to break regardless. What goes on with him and Gaul. Does he eventually overshadow her and gets rid of her or does she stay with him till she dies?

We can see Mags games, and learn more about her. Was she silenced? I believe so. Those eels at the end of the movie, since she’s the district 4 victor, could be for her games. Who would be the mentors, since it was determined using students was a bad idea but there isn’t possibly enough victors at that time. Did they use university students, the game makers themselves (🤯), or other people? Does Tigris suggest the stylists for her own prerogative, maybe to help a little in all of Coryo’s hurt?

Did they use the same arena based on that throw away line about having cameras down there next year? Or a new arena all together? Do they still keep them in the zoo, only under better conditions, or somewhere else?

Speaking of, I saw something interesting stating that Snow turned his own apartment building into the place where the tributes are taken during Katniss games, bc it has 12 floors. If this is true, how did that come about and when? What happened to the Plinths? Did they ever find out? Probably not, but I want to see this dynamic as well.

Also I want to see what his offer was when he was running for president. Who did he poison, who did he trick and manipulate, and who was on his side? Also HIS WIFE! Did it end up being Livia Cardew

No matter who it is that is something I want to see after his catastrophe with Lucy Gray cause damnnnn. Also her name, Livia Cardew…Livia Drusilla. Oddly, Coryo reminds me more of her than the actual character. It’s rumored she used poisons to subdue her and her husbands enemies, both for his and her own person gain and rise; very snow reminiscent. But what if this is also Livia. Like he originally try’s to hide it but eventually comes to help him if that make sense 🤨

Idk but anyways it could be a trilogy, she could explore the corruption of politics and power in general. Presidential candidates lie all the time, they tell you what you want to hear, they manipulate others into voting and a lot more goes on behind the scenes that were just not privileged to know. She could explore that with snow. Power being corrupting could also be snow but it’d be interesting if it was Livia his wife. Imagine she’s against him but eventually she becomes like him as well because the power becomes her cloak. Tigris and Mags could be a call back to Lucy and Snow from the first book maybe, or something of their own. I like to think that Mags knew Coral and Mizzen they could both bond on losing the ones they loved. Mags about Coral and Mizzen and Tigris about (the old) Coriolanus.

[ear-of-abigail]

Some snowbaird sketches:

And now it’s time for some MY lore:

Life in District 12 was not easy, but Corio sometimes remembers it and catches himself on some sadness: it was enough just to follow feelings and instincts, and the whole world was an open book for him without unnecessary rules and unspoken prohibitions. Despite the environment, Snow behaved like a gentleman with his former tribute, and, as much as he would not like to, did not allow himself to look at her as a woman until the caracal met her 18th birthday. No, he was madly in love with her, even obsessed with her, but for Corio it was simply wild to sexually touch yesterday's child. The new stage of the relationship did not last long, because at first indirect signs suggested, and then a medical intern (hello, Sejanus!) confirmed that Lucy Gray was pregnant. It wasn't good news for her at first: firstly, she can barely provide herself and her pack with 2 meals a day, not to mention having extra money for a kitten (she doesn't even mention his father); secondly, she doesn't want her kitten's name to be pulled out at the Harvest just because she's his mother (and where else would she go? Go live in the forest, where the kitten would face certain death, if not her own death during childbirth?); and finally, she was incredibly angry at Corio, whom she trusted with her body: he's a smart boy from the Capitol who loves to keep the situation in his paws. What went wrong, Mr. Snow? (Perhaps the instinct to get away from the kitten's father and her entire pack in general out of suspicion also played a role here, because they could harm her child, being all of them in the primitive world). In any case, Corio used all his persuasive skills back then in Hobe, when he heard this news, to protect the girl from home-made abortion methods (they won't do anything else here) or something worse... Besides all the above, Snow got a promotion. He doesn't want to go alone, and persuades the caracal to get married so that he can take her with him despite the ban on movement between districts. An interesting move, considering that Tigris practically eats boiling water in the Capitol while her brother is in the army, and counting on her support would be not just impudent, but also banally stupid. Lucy Gray still agrees, but not completely out of great love. Remembering the scene at the cage, when Snow stared hungrily at the cookies, it won't be easier for her child in District 2.

Fate threw them into the Capitol, bypassing District 2. Great luck.

Already in the Capitol, with clean documents and an impeccably renovated apartment, Sylvia Sunset was born: an active girl with shiny curls. A real sun, full of energy. Sunset - because orange absolutely personified this kitten. Sylvia often ran around the house, tightly hugging her favorite plush bumblebee, which she called "Mr. Bee". She often woke up before everyone else to poke her father with her toy when she was bored or wanted something. Corio, from the very beginning more reserved in showing his feelings, still smiled slightly when the kitten ran to the front door to meet him. Two years later, Tyrrell Honey was born - a calm, smart boy. Yellow in his name - well-being and "sweet" life. During this time together, Lucy Gray finally felt calm and protected next to him. This gave her confidence in the future and, although Tyrrell was not planned, they became parents again. Tyrrell was an extremely restless child at first, very sickly, but as he grew older, he began to impress his parents with his natural intuition for physics and engineering.

Life in the Capitol was not ideal, at least because the Capitol did not accept such a marriage, but neither of the couple regretted their choice. They both tried to give Sylvia and Tyrrell all the possible joys, care and affection that they were deprived of in childhood. Their kittens should not face the real horrors of the world at all (this is definitely not the most correct line of upbringing)

[incaensio]

tension melts away when she's in his arms, when he's defending her from herself in that way of his that makes her let out a breathy chuckle. "you're a good liar." but it's not something she wants to get into. they don't need to discuss how she hurts him just by being near him — she can see it, most times. barely now, though, because he's still close, radiating that comforting heat of his, so she pushes that away and nestles into him closer, pressing her cheek against the softness of his pajama top and inhaling the faintness of his own scent, mixed with the fancier ones from the shower.

she manages to pull away from the spell just in time for the reaping to begin at twelve. they get a seam girl — if she's older than sixteen, it's much, but she looks thirteen — first, then maysilee donner, who stands next to other two girls: her sister, madge's mother, and… "that's…ma." her voice is a bit shocked, because lilian has never mentioned maysilee, but of course. she was friends with madge's mum from the time katniss could remember, so of course she'd have known maysilee too. that means she knows of the pin, too. katniss tries not to be too angry that everyone seems to know about these little things but herself, because if lilian is in the screen, giving her second-to-last goodbye to her friend, that means she must have mourned the girl who would die some days later (she wonders if lilian shut down when maysilee died, the way she would when heath died; wonders if her mother would break down if she had not returned, and what would be of prim).

katniss misses the first boy reaped, but peeta brings her back to see an eighteen-year-old who is supposedly haymitch abernathy. that's the name called, at least; he's cool, with curly dark hair, sharp eyes, maybe even derisive, as if he has a better place to be. it's the front, the inability to show weakness even at the beginning of the games — hadn't she been the same, refusing to cry even as her throat ran hoarse with the might, just so she wouldn't have appeared swollen and stupid in front of a thousand of screens when they filmed her at the station? "handsome?" she makes a face, and a disgusted sound at the mere suggestion. but it's true: haymitch might as well have been one of the most handsome guys from the seam, in that ruggish way that reminds her of gale. she doesn't like thinking of gale when she's in peeta's arms though, so she pushes the thought away and watches as they shift the scene to the chariot rides — they're dressed as simple miners, surprise surprise — and to the gala at snow's house.

"he doesn't have a mentor." she points out, moving in a way that she's distanced from her husband's body just so she can look at the screen, analyze every bit. "alone, first time in the capitol, walkin' to his death. can you believe it?" fucking lucy gray baird, the ghost victor from twelve. she couldn't pull away from whatever swamp she must be living to come and help a helpless eighteen year old? katniss presses her lips together, shoulders slumping gently as the anger she felt towards haymitch the entire night dissipates. she thought she had it hard last year, but dealing with the capitol at eighteen, by yourself, knowing you'd have to fend off forty-seven tributes if you want to go home? “how the fuck did he get out?”

Peeta settles next to Katniss against the pillows, putting his arm around her once she moves closer. As though they were just watching any other television program and not their old mentor about to murder some people. Might as well get used to it, Peeta thinks grimly, reflecting on Haymitch's life as a mentor. Not bringing home any tribute, year after year, until he somehow managed to bring home two.

As they watch the Quell announcement, Peeta's mouth drops open. How did they never learn about this in school? Learning about the Hunger Games - and the personal propaganda probably derived from Snow himself - was mandatory every single year. He would've thought that the districts knowing that there was a chance of double the tributes would be something the Capitol wanted them to know. The power they had over everyone else in Panem.

He's so shocked that he almost misses that Katniss is speaking during the lull in the video. "Hmm?" he says absently, looking down at her before registering what she said. He immediately shakes his head. "Don't call yourself that."

He gives her a little smile as she calls him the opposite of an enemy. Just another word to add to his growing list as he tries to figure out what Katniss Everdeen feels about him. "You're not makin' anything harder," he tells her, even though it's not exactly true. Everything has been harder for him since he and Katniss officially got to know one another after the reaping last year, but most of those aren't her fault. Besides, she's curled up next to him in their shared bed right now.

So maybe it isn't everything that's harder.

"It's fine, I'm fine," he tells her. "Honestly." He's used to brushing things off. Not just with Katniss, but Haymitch and his family too. He's had a lot of practice. "Woah - " He says, getting distracted by the Games on tape again. "Look..." It's Haymitch on the screen, moving forward for his name with a steely look on his face. "I can't believe that is what he used to look like."

[sturchling]

An Awfully Big Adventure

Hey! I found an angsty prompt for a Fairy Tail fanfic a while back and have been wanting to write it for a long time. Can't remember where I saw it, but if I figure it out, I'll make sure to tag them in this! Anyways, hope you like it! And if anyone understands the references to the book/movie in this story, you are awesome! 😊

The feeling of the old leather book cover was hardly noticeable to Lucy, as she was engrossed in her book. The book had seen better days, having been damaged from being read over and over. She was so focused on the story, traveling to a far away land only found in the pages of this book, that she didn't notice a certain pink haired wizard coming up behind her. "Lucy! Let's go! I got our next job." But the celestial mage didn't hear him, turning to the next page in the story. Natsu stopped and looked over Lucy's shoulder, reading the next line out loud. "To die would be an awfully big adventure? What does that mean? Sounds stupid." This time Lucy heard him, and jumped at realizing how close he was. Then when it registered what he had said, she jumped to her favorite book's defense, chasing Natsu around the guild hall. "Its not stupid! The hero of the story is cornered by the villain but is still trying to be brave for his friends! He is scared, but doesn't want to scare his friends! This is a great story, with great writing, and don't you dare insult it again! As Lucy stands there, out of breath, Natsu walks up, grabbing her wrist. "Sounds sappy to me. Come on! We have work to do."

Natsu, and Lucy had made camp for the night, just a little ways outside of the town where their job was. Gray, Erza, and Wendy would meet them in the town tomorrow afternoon. While they sat around the fire, Lucy pulled her book out again and read by the fire light. Natsu just stared at her as she was reading for the longest time. Until Lucy finally looked up. "What? Why are you staring at me?" Natsu looked at the tattered book in Lucy's hand. He had seen her reading this book several times before. "Tell me something. Why do you love that book so much? You read it all the time. Surely it gets old after a while." Lucy looks at Natsu, before looking down at the book cover fondly. "Well, its because of the memories I have with this book. This was my mother's favorite story. She would read it all the time, and then finally when I was ten, she read it to me. It was an amazing story filled with adventures and sword fights and even a few pirates. We must have read it together a dozen times." Lucy paused, her smile fading from her face. "But then, mom got sick. So I would read it to her every day. It always made her smile when I did. Not long after that, she passed away. After that, I always kept this book with me and would read it all the time. It was one of the few connections I still had with my mom. Any time I read it, I felt like she was right there with me. I love this book, because my mom loved this book and its a way to still be close with her."

Natsu just sat quietly listening. He understood what Lucy was talking about. It was kind of like him and his scarf. It was a connection to Igneel. Lucy looked back up at Natsu. "Sorry to dump all that on you. I know to you its just a sappy book, but to me its the best book I have ever read. Anyway, we should go to bed. Its late and we have a job in the morning. The two got ready for bed, and Lucy quickly fell asleep. But Natsu decided to do something else. He crept over to Lucy's pack and grabbed the old book. He went and sat back by the fire and turned to the first page. He spent all night reading that book. In the morning, before Lucy woke up, he slipped the book back in her pack and laid on his bed roll. He was exhausted, but he had to admit, it was a good book. Maybe if he had slept instead, he wouldn't have been so tired, and he wouldn't have gotten hurt.

Lucy heard Natsu yell from behind her. They had gone into town to get the information for the job, but were ambushed. The job was a fake, posted by a dark guild that wanted revenge for a Fairy Tail team roughing up their members. It was only Natsu and her in town, the others hadn't arrived. So they were on their own. Natsu had taken the leader, and Lucy was dealing with the others. There weren't that many opponents, so it should have been fine. She had just finished with her opponents when she heard Natsu yell. She whipped around just in time to see the leader's sword go through Natsu's stomach. She stared in horror as Natsu collapsed to the ground. She summoned Loke to keep the leader busy and raced to Natsu's side, praying to anyone who would listen that he was alive.

Lucy dropped to her knees beside Natsu, looking for any signs that he was alive. When she saw that he was breathing, she almost collapsed in relief. But he was bleeding too much from his wounds. She pulled some bandages from her pack and pressed on the wound, earning a groan from Natsu. He started to wake up, and looked at Lucy with eyes fogged by pain. He could see the battle between Loke and the dark guild leader behind her and it wasn't going well. If Lucy stayed here, she would be in serious trouble. "Lucy, listen. You need to go. Run and go find Gray, Erza, and Wendy. They must be close, so it won't be hard to find them. Go!" Lucy didn't even look at him, to focused on stopping the bleeding. "No! If I leave, and don't stop the bleeding, you'll die! I won't let you die." Natsu gave her a pained smile. "To die would be an awfully big adventure." Lucy jolted hearing that line, and looked right at Natsu, tears in her eyes. Natsu grimaced, but smiled at Lucy again. "That's it right? That's the line from that sappy book of yours, right? Hah, nailed it!" Lucy almost lost the grip on the bandages in her shock. "You read the book?" Natsu's smile was becoming more strained as the pain in his stomach grew unbearable. "Last night, didn't finish though. But I got to that line you love so much. And it may be sappy, but its a good story."

Natsu was quickly fading and that was obvious to Lucy. She replaced the now blood soaked bandages and pressed down on the wound again, but it wasn't doing any good. The bandages were quickly soaking through with blood again. Lucy grabbed more bandages, even knowing it was doing no good. She couldn't sit here and do nothing! She just had to keep him alive until Wendy and the others got here. She had to keep trying. Her voice shook as she tried to keep Natsu talking. "Well, then you have to get better. You have to finish the book. We can finish it together. And W-We can go on tons of adventures. Together. All the time, any time you want. Every day for the rest of our lives, will be full of adventure and excitement, okay? I promise, we will have the best adventures of our lives. But you have to get better Natsu. You just have to! Please don't make me break that promise. Just hold on!" Natsu's eyes closed, but he was still smiling. His voice was quiet now, quieter than Lucy had ever heard it. "Yeah, sounds like fun Lucy. Let's go on more adventures..." Natsu trailed off, and Lucy felt her heart stop. "Natsu? Natsu?! Please Natsu, wake up!"

Tears streamed down Lucy's cheeks, but she wouldn't give up. His breathing was slow, as was his heartbeat, but it was there. He was still breathing and his heart was still beating. And that was enough for Lucy. She heard Loke yell from behind her, and felt his gate close. But she wouldn't leave Natsu. If she left, he would bleed to death before Lucy got back. So she stayed focused on Natsu, even as she felt the footsteps of the dark guild leader approach her from behind. He had long since abandoned his sword and started punching Lucy from behind. But Lucy wouldn't let go of Natsu. She would never just let him die. Then, just as darkness started to invade her vision, she heard someone call, "Natsu! Lucy!" She felt a blast of cold behind her, and when she looked, the leader was now completely encased in a blast of ice. She looked at the tree line and saw Gray, Erza and Wendy running toward them. Good. Wendy is here. She will help Natsu. With that last thought, the darkness completely took over Lucy's vision.

When Gray, Erza and Wendy finally got to the two unconscious wizards, they were horrified to see the condition of their friends. Wendy got right to work, healing Natsu as best she could. She was able to stabilize him, but he remained unconscious. Lucy was healed when Wendy recovered, and woke up pretty quickly. Now, Lucy sat by Natsu's bedside in the guild's infirmary. She wouldn't leave his side. She wanted to be here when he woke up. She had started passing the time by reading that old book to him. It seemed silly, but she had always read to her mom when she was sick, and it just seemed right to read to him now. She was about half way through the book, and she had arrived at that scene. Where the hero is cornered and says that line. That line Natsu had said while he lay bleeding in front of her. She instantly started to cry, remembering that horrible day. She hung her head and silently cried. But then she heard a quiet, raspy voice. "Why did you stop reading Lucy?" She whipped her head up and stared into the now open eyes of Natsu Dragneel. "Why did you stop? You were just getting to a good part, and I want to know what happens next. And maybe after you finish the book, we can go on those adventures you promised me?" Lucy smiled, tears of happiness now running down her face. "Yeah. Lets go on an adventure!"

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

[damnusillygoose]

Jerza fanfiction

disclaimer: these characters belong to hiro sensei

title: Somebody is jealous

summary: will erza be able to maintain her calm when her beau starts getting a lot of female attention?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13786166/1/somebody-is-jealous

Erza was a jealous woman.

She wasn't insecure in her relationship with Jellal by any means, not that she had to vie for his attention. He gave it to her willingly. He made her feel loved, so much that she was practically brimming with it. He showed her his affection not only through words but also through his actions.

But that didn't mean she couldn't get jealous.

Jellal's popularity proliferated after he settled in magnolia and started indulging himself with voluntary service. Crime sorciere might be officially disbanded but the former members having spent ample amount of time with each other wanted to continue working together and take missions. They also diverted their funds to start an orphanage for abandoned children.

Their pious efforts were recognized and soon they started receiving all sorts of grants from public and from private companies in the form of corporate social responsibility. As the grand master of crime sorciere, Jellal was often called upon by organizations for collaborations and for interviews to further elaborate upon the work done by his guild.

Erza couldn't be happier for him but the limelight he received also turned out to be slightly infernal for her. Jellal became instantly well-known and even topped the charts of 'The Most Handsome Man Alive', dethroning Hibiki Lates who took pride upon himself for holding this position for 3 years plus.

She lost the counts of love letters that Jellal started receiving from his female following. Whenever they would go out to spend time with each other, there would always be eyes hawking him or pestering him for autographs. Erza really wanted to maintain her demeanor as a good girlfriend who doesn't get jealous when her partner gets excessive attention from the opposite gender but there had to be a limit right?

However, Erza was grateful for a fact that there was never a reciprocation from his end. Jellal never returned their efforts. He never bothered.

He was staunch in his belief and was firmly loyal to her.

The realization made her feel extremely loved.

'Stop brooding Erza, you look hideous.' Mirajane snapped Erza out of her murderous intent as she reached across the table enamored with mahogany wood to collect empty glasses.

'Mira! that reporter bitch is all over him again! Can I murder her?! '

'Calm down Erza. She is here for her job after all.'

'Her job is to interview and ask him substantial questions! Not throw herself all over him! He is clearly uncomfortable with her vexing advances. Is she blind or what?!' she roared as her fist slammed against the table top nearly knocking off the glasses in the tray.

Her abrupt yet fierce declaration was enough to scare Natsu and Gray who were once again at each other's throats. She was seething with anger and gritted her teeth with helplessness. She wanted to jump in and slap the day lights out of that abhorrent creature but she wouldn't dare disturb Jellal's interview. Fairy tail has a reputation to maintain anyways. Not that they had a respectable reputation to begin with but she wouldn't embarrass her guild any further.

Erza witnessed as that female reporter proceeded to smirk smugly at her paramour and leaned forward on the pretext of not being able to hear his answer owing to uproarious energy of the guild.

Jellal leaned back as his company continued to disrespect his personal space relentlessly.

'Mr. Fernandez, I think it's equally disturbing to interview you here. How about we move to my private chamber? No one would interrupt us there and we can take all the time we want', the female reporter purred and twisted her lips in a vicious smirk, touching the top of his hand.

'No, thank you. I can't afford that. My girlfriend is waiting for me. Let's wrap this up quickly', Jellal repudiated, pulling his hand aside, rejecting her advances in a disapproving grunt.

That's it! Erza stood up from her seat as she saw that wretched bitch lean towards him, churning with incorrigible wrath. Her emotional turmoil had successfully won over her and she was ready to slice that bitch into pieces. But before she could do anything, she saw her beau lightly bow his head towards his female companion displaying the dismissal of their conversation.

She inhaled a breath of relief as he walked towards her and took a seat beside her. His eyes looked genuinely tired and he rubbed his temples in exasperation.

Her anger melted into concern.

'Are you okay, Jellal? Was she pestering you a lot?' she asked empathetically.

'Yes, I am fine. I am glad it's over', he took her hand in his and entwined them firmly.

He gave her a worn-out smile as he requested Mira to bring him a drink.

'that bitch.' Erza cursed as she weaved her free arm to loop around his bicep. She rested her head against his shoulder and let out a sigh.

'I am fine, Erza. Seriously, Let's eat something and then we can head back home'

'I know you are saying this to put me at ease but we aren't heading back home Jellal. That bitch's presence will not ruin the party for us. We will enjoy till the very end'

Just when they thought the trouble was over, that female reporter strode unapologetically into their love nest.

'I am sorry to barge into your conversation but is it okay if I sit here? I am not familiar with anyone here and I only know Mr. Fernandez so...?'

Jellal clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked at Erza to check her reaction only to find her extremely calm and collected. However, He knew that her exterior appearance was a façade. She was probably singeing internally hotter than any inferno.

'sure', Erza replied in her imperturbable composure, her wrath at the brim of her limit, ready to walk over the barbwire at any moment.

Lucy and Cana marveled at the guts of this prying female as they witnessed this scene from the next table.

'So, how long you two been together?'

'I didn't know there was another interview?', Erza eyed her as she retorted sharply.

'nah, I am just curious about you two. You are a well-known couple in magnolia after all. Everyone looks up to you guys for couple goals.'

'About six months', Erza replied unsure whether this person was genuinely intrigued or mocking them half-heartedly.

'Ah. From what I have heard this is the first ever relationship for both of you, right? Six months isn't even a long time to know your partner intimately. People break up over minute scuffles all the time. Anyways, Mr. Fernandes, a handsome man like yourself must find himself flocked with female attention all the time, no? I don't think you should settle yourself in a relationship this early- '

This fucking bitch is going to breath her last breathe today! there is no way I am letting her out alive! Erza bellowed internally. How dare she insult her relationship like this?! This jerk continued to spew bullshit even when she was kind enough to overlook her advances towards Jellal earlier! How dare she-

'Ms. Erina, we don't recall asking for your unsolicited advice on our relationship. This is our private matter and we do not appreciate third party interferences. Your job was to interview me on professional basis and I can very well report back to your organization regarding your unethical behaviour. This can cost you your career and you know that', Jellal shot her down with his sharp retort. He took hold of Erza's hand in his, underneath the table, in a reassuring manner.

'but I was just kidding around- '

'We don't appreciate this degraded sense of humor. It was disrespectful and you were clearly trying to jeopardize my relationship', Jellal, when triggered, had no mercy for people who undermined his relationship with Erza.

'You've crossed the limits of my personal space and I ask you to leave'

His refute left Erina stunned. She had successfully seduced countless men in their so-called committed relationships but Jellal Fernandez was one such man she was unable to surmount no matter how many cheap tricks she pulled. Admitting her inevitable defeat, she stood up in shame, trembling with anger for he insulted her blatantly, dragged her feet across the guild hall, colliding with Kinana on her way, almost knocking off the drinks in her tray ,had Erik not intervened preventing her fall. He let out a muffled snare at the vile woman who passed by him. .

Jellal finally let out an audible sigh and looked at Erza.

'sorry, my love. You had to witness this', Jellal whispered anxiously. He moved his hand to fondle her inner thigh intimately in way he knew would calm her trembling down.

Erza had a wide smile that adorned her lips. She wasn't angry now. In fact, she was extremely satisfied the way Jellal shot her down. The respect and adoration he held for her was oozing out of every word he spoke. She loved him so much. Her ears felt warm as she snuggled into his shoulder.

'thank you Jellal. I am fine. I am not bothered by her ignorant remarks. She has no clue about what we both went through to stand where we are today and frankly I don't care', Erza stated, referring to their past history.

'if it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me as well', Jellal smiled as he leaned down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss and then traced his soft lips against her jawline, giving her a peck on her cheeks.

Laxus looked at his buddy from the second floor, impressed, for he handled the situation very maturely.

'sheesh, that's a slick move Fernandes'

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review if you liked it. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

[starlit-scarlet]

Chapter 9

The Trio-Part 5

Word Count: ~8.7k

CW: This chapter contains a scene of sexual assault.

Please see my note regarding this fic here.

Starved Menu

She was a young girl of about seven. The morose expression etched into her innocent features was a complete contradiction to the normally cheerful girl. The scene before her was imprinted in her mind forever.

The muted click of the front door had drawn her out of her slumber. Then came the voices. The pleas. Confused, she had peeked out from around the curtain that sectioned off her makeshift bedroom. The blood in her veins had froze when she saw the scene in front of her.

Blinking, a cold settled over her as her child’s mind struggled to comprehend.

Blink.

Her parents were on their knees.

Blink.

A pair of pliers in the man’s hand.

Blink.

A pile of fingernails growing on the floor beside him.

Blink.

His questions that didn’t register in her mind.

Blink.

Finally, the man realized that they were not going to give him the answers he needed. He pulled a knife from his pocket, the giant blade glinting in the moonlight. She stood frozen, as he drew the blade across her dad’s neck, blood gushing out from the wound as he collapsed. Dead.

Her mom glanced her way, eyes widening as she saw her there in her doorway and screamed, “RUN! Baby, get out, g-.” The sound of a knife tearing through flesh filled the air, cutting her mom off mid-sentence. The girl stood rooted in place, unable to move, the cold engulfing her.

The man turned and looked at her. The grim look gave way to a malicious grin reaching his cold, gray eyes. “Well hello there. Yes, you’ll do just fine. I’m sure to get a pretty penny for you in Mitras. Lots of couples there lookin’ to buy a child cause they can’t have one.” The malevolent tone of voice had her stomach lurching. “Looks like this whole excursion won’t be a complete waste after all."

Tears staining the girl’s face went unnoticed as she took in the lifeless bodies of her parents. Their blood that was running warm in their veins only minutes prior, now lay in a cooling puddle, pooling around them. Before the girl could even register what was happening, he’d grabbed her.

She was now in that small room, in the house in Mitras, surrounded by darkness, its cold tentacles enveloping her, suffocating her, as she cried out, “Mama, Papa, help me! Help me!” Not fully understanding that her parents were gone. No one could help her now.

“Help you? Why would anyone help you when you can’t even help your best friend.” Sherri’s sneering face broke through, reminding her of her failure. “Look at Lucy, look at her!”

The darkness released her as she turned to look, now outside the walls, and saw Lucy screaming as the titan tried to shove her down its throat. Isa did what she’d done the first time. She went as fast as she could, trying to reach the titan in time, but it was as if the distance kept growing instead of shrinking. When she managed to reach it and slice the nape, like the first time, she was too late.

The titan lay in a heap on the ground, with Lucy trapped in its mouth. Except, now, instead of soothing words, her last words were harsh and bitter, cutting through Isa.

“You’re a failure Isa. This is your fault. I hate you. You killed me. You did this.”

She was surrounded now, by all the people she called a friend. Isabel. Sherri. Furlan. Hange. Ethel. Even Levi was there. All of them were sneering at her, their voices echoing.

Failure.

Pathetic.

Useless.

Waste of space.

“It should have been you and not Lucy.” Sherri’s voice sliced through her.

“It should have been you and not Lucy.” All their voices melded together on those words, as they kept chanting.

“It should have been you and not Lucy.” They stepped closer to her, suffocating her.

‘No!’ She screamed, dropping to her knees. She rocked back and forth, sobbing, head held in her hands.

“It should have been you and not Lucy.”

‘N-no! I-It wasn’t my fault. Please believe me.’ Her voice trembled. Her breaths came in pants as they came closer, practically on top of her now. She shrank into herself, trying to get away.

“It should have been you and not Lucy.”

Now Lucy joined them.

“It should have been you instead of me."

Isa woke up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding in her ears, tears staining her cheeks. The moonlight pouring through the window told her she hadn’t been asleep for long. Wiping the sweat and tears off her face, she rose and dressed. She knew there would be no going back to sleep.

She found herself walking towards the entrance to the roof of the base. She’d been there only hours ago with the trio, and now she was back, only this time she was alone.

She stood at the edge of the roof, staring out into the endless night. Another sleepless night. She let out a restless sigh.

A forlorn look etched into her features, she sat on the edge of the roof, trying to rein in the barrage of worries. She wanted to scream. Throw something. Instead, she drew her legs in, and buried her face in her knees, taking a deep breath, willing away the grotesque images from the nightmare.

As she sat, she felt a presence behind her. Twisting around where she sat, she saw Levi approaching behind her, footsteps as quiet as ever. Ignoring him, she let her head fall back onto her knees.

“I’m surprised someone from Mitras even has trouble sleeping.”

Her head shot up at that to glare at him. “You seem to be under the impression that because I lived in Mitras, my life had no problems. I can assure you that it did.”

When he only looked at her with that same bored expression, something snapped inside her, the effects of the nightmare she’d awoken from still ever present.

“I’m sorry I saw that damn memory Levi.” She growled. “If I could take it back I would. I don’t know how I saw it or what that was, and I don’t know how to get you to believe me. But, if it’ll make us even, I’ll give you a memory of mine. It’s not going to be a happy one, because you didn’t like that I saw a happy memory of yours, and I won’t like you knowing a shit memory of mine.”

She paused, gathering herself.

“The people in Mitras who raised me, they tried to mold me into something I wasn’t. And when I failed, they would throw me into this dark room in their cellar. I told this to Isabel a while back, but what I didn’t tell her was that one time…” She took in a deep breath before continuing. “One time the woman of the house got so fed up with me, she tried to kill me.” She stopped, needing a moment after the admission, never having told anyone this.

“She’d had some nobleman and his son over, and they’d had plans to arrange a marriage for us. That morning she told me to behave in front of my potential future husband. I spent that entire day doing everything I could to keep the nobleman from agreeing to me marrying his son. I succeeded.” She gave a mirthless smile as she remembered how she’d gone out of her way to act as unladylike as possible.

“When they left, the woman was furious. I’d thought all she’d do was throw me into the cellar like she usually did. At that point I could handle it. I’d been there enough. Except this time, I’d gone too far.” Isa’s breath hitched at what she knew was coming.

Her voice had turned hollow, devoid of emotion as she continued. “She had me shoved up against a wall, her hands wrapped around my throat, as she tried to squeeze the life out of me.” Sometimes Isa could still feel the bony fingers around her neck as the grip grew tighter and tighter. “She finally came to her senses and released me, though I know it was only because it wouldn’t look well on her status should others find out she’d killed her adopted daughter.”

When she stopped, she had to wipe the tears from her eyes that she hadn’t noticed before.

“How old?”

She looked at him, a morose expression on her face. “I was fifteen.”

When he said nothing else, she stood.

Before she left, she gave him some final words. “I know my past may not have been as difficult as yours, but it was nowhere near perfect. Remember that next time you question my motivations."

With that, she walked away, leaving Levi behind with his thoughts.

~ - ~

The weeks passed, full of endless training as the scouts relentlessly worked in preparation of the upcoming expedition. The intensity of training had picked up as the leaders worked to make sure that their teams and squads would have a higher chance of well…not dying.

Their training was focused on speed and endurance. They ran the titan course, constantly working towards shaving off seconds and minutes each time, as their leaders demanded more. They did long distance running with their gear and packs on their backs. Drills working on maneuvering on and off the horses.

She’d noticed as time moved forward that some of her stuff had gone missing. First it was a hairbrush. Then some underwear. A bra. She thought perhaps her stuff had gotten mixed up with some of the other girls’ things in the barracks, though she thought it was strange for that to happen.

She didn’t know what to make of it, so she just wrote it off and hoped nothing else would disappear.

As Isa sat in the courtyard writing in her journal after another hard day of training, she couldn’t help but feel impressed by how far her squad had come. The addition of Levi, Isabel, and Furlan, had immensely improved the overall strength of the squad. The squad was now a force to be reckoned with.

Their squad wasn’t without flaws of course. She herself had a tendency to focus too much on the well-being of her comrades, which could be fatal outside the walls. Levi tended to avoid working as a team, preferring to attack the dummies solo. Isabel was easily distracted and Furlan sometimes took too long to decide on a course of action. Sairam spent more time trying to outperform Levi, and more often than not, he failed. Isa personally thought that he did best when he focused on his strengths.

She’d tried to tell him once, and he’d told her to mind her own damn business, and that he didn’t need some ‘princess’ rookie telling him how to train. Needless to say, she hadn’t bothered telling him again.

Derek…Isa just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was constantly watching her. And if he was too busy watching her, then that meant he wasn’t focused on training. She’d prefer it if he would focus on training versus leering at her. Anything would be better than the constant feel of him looking at her.

Even with their weaknesses, she still felt that their squad was one of the stronger squads.

Isa personally thought that if they removed Sairam and Derek from the squad, they’d be damn near perfect.

She appreciated that Flagon was pushing them harder than before in training, despite the fact that she found him on the same level as Sairam personality wise. At least he wasn’t hostile towards her, but he was still as abrasive as ever towards Levi, Isabel, and Furlan.

The amount of laps she’d had to run for calling him out on his treatment of those three…she’d lost count.

Her mind strayed back to Levi, as it often had since she’d met him.

Over the past few weeks, Isa felt that Levi had become…somewhat less suspicious of her. She wondered if sharing that memory from her past with him had helped, but she couldn’t be sure. She still had doubts that she’d ever be able to get him to trust her, but progress was progress.

It didn’t help that her daydream from weeks prior kept playing back in her mind. She struggled to understand the unknown rush that always flowed through her if she was near Levi.

Is this what desire feels like? I’ve read about it in romance books, and it feels similar to what was described. But it’s one thing to read it, another thing to experience it.

Ethel and Isabel are under the impression that I’m interested in Levi in a way that’s not just about getting him to trust me.

It would just be my luck that I would be attracted to someone who can barely stand the sight of me. But it’s not possible. Surely that can’t be what this feeling is.

Then what is this?

“Isa!”

Hange’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see her friend running across the courtyard. She smiled at Hange as she plopped down beside of Isa.

Hange was practically vibrating with excitement. “Isa you’ll never guess what I heard!”

“What?”

“There’s an end of season festival happening the day before we leave for the expedition.”

“A what?”

“A festival. There’s music, dancing, plays, food, all kinds of stuff. They’re celebrating the end of the summer. I think it’d be fun if we went.”

Isa couldn’t help but get excited at the thought. These sorts of things never happened in Mitras, or if they had, she’d been unaware of them. She didn’t even have to think twice about her answer.

“Absolutely, it sounds amazing.”

Hange squealed and shook Isa. “This is gonna be so much fun. I'm going to invite Shorty and his friends too. They could use a break from this. "

“Shorty? You’re really going to call him that?”

“Yea. I'm gonna invite the short, angry guy from the Underground you’re clearly interested in, as well as his two friends.”

“Wh-what? I’m not interested in him!”

What is it with everyone thinking that I'm interested? I'm not...

“Isa, don’t try to deny it to me. I have eyes. I can tell you’re attracted to him.”

“N-no I’m not. I think your glasses are making you see things that aren’t there. Besides, we have an expedition coming up that I need to stay focused on. I don't have time for that sort of thing.”

Hange gave Isa a look that said she wasn’t buying it, but that she’d let it go for now. Instead, she seated herself more comfortably beside Isa, content in sitting and enjoying the late afternoon breeze with her best friend.

~ - ~

That night, Isa went for a walk around the base, needing to clear her mind for the expedition next week. Her nightmares had gotten worse as this expedition neared, and she hoped the fresh night air would calm her mind enough to let her rest. The nightmares had calmed down somewhat months ago after she’d seen her mother in her dreams. But as the dreaded day neared, they were coming back tenfold, an amalgamation of her parents’ murder, her childhood, and Lucy’s death.

She was near the stables when a voice had her blood chilling.

“Hello Isa darling.”

Isa froze mid-step at the voice. Like prey caught in the aim of a hunter’s crossbow, her head shot up, eyes wide, and the shadow she saw in front of her had her stomach lurching as her body filled with dread.

Something told her she needed to get away. Now.

Swallowing, she willed her feet to keep moving, she was so close to the safety of the buildings. “Derek, leave me alone.”

She tried to walk past him, but like that night so many months ago, he grabbed her wrist in an iron tight hold.

“Come now Isa, why do you keep resisting me?” He probably thought his voice was soft and soothing, but it just made her skin crawl. His eyes held that same glint she’d seen all too many times before when she caught him watching her.

“I’m not resisting anything. I already told you I’m not interested.” She tried to keep her voice firm, but she couldn’t stop the tremor. She didn’t understand what he was talking about. She wasn’t resisting anything. She’d never given him any indication that she was interested. She’d even told him that night months ago that she didn’t want him. Yet here she was, yet again, caught in his hold because he had some delusion that she did.

“I’ve seen the looks you send me when you’re with those two criminals. You use them to try to make me jealous.” His voice lost its false sweetness, turning abrasive, clearly irked that she spent time with Levi and Furlan.

Instead of answering, she started walking, desperate to get away. When she tried to yank her arm from his grasp, he only yanked back, dragging her and slamming her up against the wall of the stable. She grunted when her head smacked into the wall, which effectively disoriented her.

He drew her wrists up above her head, pinning them with one hand, and leaned in closer to her, forcing her gaze to meet his. “Are you trying to play hard to get? Are you trying to make me want you more?”

Shaking away the dizziness, she dug deep for anger, used it to push out her words, trying to make her voice as forceful as possible. “I’m not trying to do anything. You’re just not getting it. I. Don’t. Want. You.”

The look that flashed into Derek’s eyes had her shrinking back as he towered over her, her anger completely overtaken by the fear pulsing through her veins. His free hand wrapped around her throat, a warning.

The hairs on her neck stood on end when she felt his mouth on her ear, and her stomach threatened to hurl.

His whispered words horrified her. “You’re just making me want you more.”

She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t fight him…she was nowhere near strong enough, her skills in close combat were awful, and he was almost twice her size. Before she’d been able to shove him off her, catching him off guard, but now it was as though he was expecting it. With her hands pinned and him pressed up against her, she was defenseless. Nothing was getting through to this guy. She’d said no, multiple times.

Tears started to trickle down her cheeks as she felt his mouth on her jaw, working its way towards her mouth, the urge to vomit growing with each press of his unwanted lips on her skin. She tried to turn her head to avoid him, but he took it as invitation to plant his lips on her neck. She struggled against his hold on her wrists, but his grasp was unbreakable.

She cried out for help as she sobbed, but she didn’t know if anyone was near enough to hear her. He was quick to move his hand from her throat to cover her mouth to keep her from shouting.

“Come on Isa, I know you want me. I can make you feel good if you let me.” His voice was pleading, and borderline maniacal. His hand moved from her mouth down to grope at her breast.

“Please, just stop. I don’t want this.” She hated how small her voice sounded, hated the feel of his hand on her, and now she was terrified. She didn’t know how to make him stop. Her tears were now running down her face as she realized that there was nothing she could do. She closed her eyes, succumbing to her fate.

Suddenly, he was ripped off of her. Blinking, she looked through blurred eyes and saw her two friends, out of breath and outraged.

Furlan’s face had morphed from its usual kindness to a hot fury, the kind that could burn if you got too close. She could practically feel its heat from where she stood, singeing her hair.

Levi’s face was set in a cold anger, the kind that could send an icy chill all the way down to your bones as you begged him for mercy. The negative aura emanated from him in waves, and she cowered in its presence, grateful that it wasn’t directed towards her, and hoped that it never would be. Even when he’d interrogated her, he hadn’t looked at her with this iciness.

Furlan was quick to grab Isa and draw her behind them, and she was surprised at how gentle his touch was despite his fury. She’d half expected his touch to burn her arm.

He gave her a soft look that contradicted the rage simmering in his eyes. “Are you alright?” His voice full of concern.

She could only nod as she wiped away the tears in her eyes.

Levi’s face relaxed ever so slightly when he looked at Isa to make sure she was safe. Once he was certain she was out of harm’s way, he turned back to the scum in front of him, face hardening to its steely mask once again. He had other matters at hand to take care of.

His voice was a deep, menacing, monotonous growl as he said, “Leave now, and never go near her again. This is your only warning.”

Derek ignored Levi, and sent Isa a glare, which was nothing compared to Levi’s, but still had her shrinking in place. “I see how it is you little slut. You tease me, but then you’ll sleep with these lowlife thugs. One day they won’t be around to protect you. You will be mine.”

Her face paled and she cowered behind Furlan at his words, her knees trembling as she grasped at his shirt, desperate for a lifeline. She couldn’t even imagine what he would do to her, and she sucked at defending herself against people. Her friends couldn’t protect her every hour of every day, they had their own duties. She would never ask that of them, couldn’t burden them that way. She knew that the next time he confronted her, it would be worse.

The sound of a fist cracking across flesh and a bone snapping filled the air. Isa’s eyes widened as she took in the scene in front of her. Derek’s nose was now gushing blood and Levi was wiping off his hand with his handkerchief.

“You bastard!” He held his nose in a futile attempt to stop the blood. The tender flesh around it was already turning purple.

He made to attack Levi, but one dark glare from the man had Derek rethinking his actions.

Furlan spoke this time, keeping his body between Derek and Isa at all times. “I believe he told you that was your only warning.” His voice was calm, though it held undercurrents of the rage that was prominent in his eyes. “I think you should heed his words now. Don’t come near her again.”

Derek spat at their feet and walked off as he said, “Disgusting, Underground scum.”

The adrenaline was now wearing off, and Isa was beginning to shake, knees threatening to buckle on her.

Her two friends turned to face her just as her knees collapsed. Furlan grabbed her before she could hit the ground, pulling her gently onto her feet, keeping his arm around her shoulders.

The warmth from her friend comforted her, and she sent him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Furlan.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“I do though. I…I don’t know what would have happened if you guys hadn’t shown up. He wouldn’t listen to me, nothing I’ve said gets through to him.” Her eyes started tearing up again, and her voice shook.

Without saying anything, Levi handed her his handkerchief. She gaped at it for a second, before taking it, and used it to wipe off the tears from her face.

“Hey,” a gentle, shaking hand brushed the hair from her face, “it’s okay now, we won’t let him hurt you.”

She looked up at Furlan, her watery eyes meeting the sure gray of his. “But you heard what he said. You guys won’t always be around to help me.”

“We’re going to do our best to not let anything happen to you. And if we tell Isabel and Hange, that’s two more people that can help you.” His voice was firm as he promised her this.

“I don’t know if I can tell them. I don’t know what to say.”

“We’ll help you.”

“Why are you both helping me?”

That seemed to take him aback as he blinked at her, as if surprised that she felt the need to ask. “We’re your friends, and even if we weren’t, no one deserves to be treated that way, and no means no. If he has trouble understanding that, then we’re happy to step in and make it clear.”

Levi looked at her, his eyes thoughtful as he took in her words. “You said ‘nothing I’ve said gets through to him.’ Has he done something like this before?”

Isa looked down in shame. “Y-yes…the night before my first expedition. H-he…” Her voice trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Furlan’s hand stroked her shoulder, his voice hushed as he murmured into her ear. “It’s okay. We’re here for you, all three of us, and Hange too. Whatever happened, it’s okay, we just want to know so we can help you.”

She looked up at her friend, his eyes calming her. “He didn’t really do much that night. He…he came up onto the roof, and said some weird things, and when I tried to leave, he shoved me against the wall and kissed me.” She sniffled at the reminder of that night. “I…I pushed him off and told him I wasn’t interested, and he left. I thought that was the end of it.”

At Isa’s words, Levi’s blunt, matter-of-fact tone cut through. “We’re telling Flagon.”

“No!” Levi gave her a sharp look. “I-I mean…I just don’t think he’s going to really be able to do anything.”

“He can pull that piece of shit off the squad and put him somewhere else.”

“I just…I don’t know if I can tell him. Please…don’t make me.”

He took in the desperation on her face and sighed. “Fine.” His tone was curt with the word. “It might make it easier to keep an eye out for him when we know where he is, but if he tries anything like this again either I kill him, or we go to Flagon.”

The lump in her throat made it difficult to speak as she said, “Thanks Levi."

His next move surprised her in a way she hadn’t thought possible.

Her eyes widened when he simply lifted a hand and plopped it on her head, gently ruffling her hair, completely contradicting his gruff exterior. The act both shocked her and made her want to purr. She’d only ever seen him do this once before, with Isabel.

In an attempt to hide her reaction, she cleared her throat.

Furlan was next to speak. “We should go tell Isabel and Hange. The sooner they know, the sooner they can help us help you.”

Isa nodded, yet her knees buckled again when she tried to take a step. Her legs were shaky and weak now that the rush that had come with her fear had left.

Without hesitation, Furlan scooped her into his arms, carrying her gently, his face flushing ever so slightly as he cradled the girl against his chest. Isa’s eyes boggled at the act, which only deepened the flush in his face.

“You can’t walk yet, so one of us is going to have to carry you.” He grumbled, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Isa shook off her initial shock, and assumed his reaction was just due to the fact that he was like Levi and wasn’t big on physical contact.

They made their way to the women’s barracks where they grabbed Hange and Isabel. Furlan only set Isa down when he was certain that she wouldn’t fall.

Isa did her best to explain what happened, with Furlan and Levi filling in the blanks when she had trouble speaking.

As she’d expected, her two friends were equally furious at what had happened. They both also suggested going to Flagon, but Isa truly felt that nothing would come from doing that. Sure he would get moved to another squad, but what good what that do outside of training. She also feared angering Derek to the point where he escalated further than he already had.

No, going to Flagon would only worsen the situation.

When her friends promised her they would help protect her, she struggled to keep from breaking down. The fact that even Levi was willing to help her…she wasn’t sure how to feel.

She was just grateful for all of them.

~ - ~

The rest of the week passed without issue. Derek left her alone, though, Isa felt that had nothing to do with Levi and Furlan's warning, and more to do with the fact that she was never alone. She was forever grateful that her friends had held firm in their promise, making sure someone was always by her side. Easy enough during training and in the barracks, which didn't leave much free time since the Scouts were in full blown preparation for the expedition. She only hoped that it would be enough.

The day before the expedition, Isa awoke early with excitement fluttering in her stomach. She knew the trio had yet to go anywhere since their arrival, and she was elated that they were finally going to be able to see more of what life above ground had to offer.

She’d never been to a festival like this, so she was looking forward for what was to come. From what Hange had told her, there was music, food, all kinds of entertainment. Plays. Dancing. Art.

She quickly jumped out of bed, and grabbed clothes from the shared closet in the barracks. Since she was going to Trost, she decided to wear civilian clothing today. She opted for a simple brown skirt, that hit just past her knees, paired with a yellow blouse which she tucked into the skirt. A pair of simple brown shoes completed the outfit.

It felt odd to her to be wearing something other than her uniform. She rarely had the need to wear civilian clothing now, and hadn’t worn any since joining the scouts. She took a glance in the mirror and thought ‘good enough.’

She grabbed Levi’s handkerchief off her nightstand. She’d kept forgetting to give it back to him after that night the week before. She’d washed it for him, not wanting to give him a dirty cloth back considering how much the man prioritized cleanliness.

She raced out the door, twisting her hair into a braid as she went, too impatient to pause long enough to do so. She skidded to a halt in front of the mess hall, where she found her friends already waiting for her. The five of them walked into the mess hall, planning to eat breakfast before they left for the day.

Before they got too far inside, a harsh voice came from behind them. “Unless you want to end up dead, I recommend you three stay far away from Isa. Hange is already a lost cause. She’ll only end up getting the three of you killed.”

Isa flinched at the iciness of Sherri’s voice. She hadn’t even been aware that Sherri was nearby. Her shoulders slumped as guilt overtook her. They hadn’t spoken since Sherri had told her that she wished Isa had died instead of Lucy.

The trio took in Isa’s appearance, and then looked at Sherri behind her. Before an enraged Hange could leap to Isa's defense, Furlan spoke up. “I think that’s unnecessary. Besides, we are more than capable of taking care of ourselves. Even still, we wouldn’t blame a suffering comrade for our deaths.”

Sherri shrugged. “Just wanted to give you a heads up. I would hate for you guys to die because of her.”

This time Levi spoke up. “Oi, you heard him. Leave.” His voice was as monotonous as ever, yet, there was a warning edge to it that said he wasn’t going to tell her again. Either she left now, or he’d make her.

Sherri glared at him, pale blue eyes meeting firm gray ones. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” And walked off.

Isa could feel the four of them looking at her, waiting for her to say something, but she couldn’t look up.

When she thought her voice would be steady, she spoke. “I…I should go.” Before she could walk away, Isabel had grabbed her arm.

“Isa, stay.” Her voice was firm, but there was an underlying softness to it, that threatened to make the tears in Isa’s eyes fall. “Furlan meant what he said. We can take care of ourselves. I highly doubt you’d be the reason for our deaths if we died."

Isa didn’t want to meet their gazes, didn’t want them to see her eyes welling up. She struggled to keep her voice steady. “I…I need to go check on Luna anyways, make sure she’s ready before we leave for the festival. I’ll see you guys in a little bit.” She gently pulled her arm out of Isabel’s grasp and made her way to the stables.

Inside Luna’s stall, she collapsed on the floor, needing to gather herself, to try to rid herself of the guilt that had been brought back to the surface at Sherri’s words.

She hadn’t been sitting for long, when a piece of bread landed on her lap, jolting her out of her melancholy. When she looked up, she saw Levi standing outside Luna’s stall.

"Eat."

Slightly stunned, she picked at the bread, unsure of why he'd gone through the trouble of bringing her food.

“Your friend seems like she’s got a stick up her ass.”

Isa gave a small mirthless laugh, as she focused her gaze on the floor, picking at the hay underneath her. “She’s…she’s been through a lot. She lost her best friend.” Because of me. “She probably has a point about you guys staying away from me. I wasn’t strong enough to save Lucy.”

“Quit moping, I can take care of myself. I don’t need some runt’s help."

She blinked, taken aback at the name. “Did you just call me ‘runt’?”

“Would you prefer shorty?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’d prefer you call me by my name. You only called me that because you finally found someone shorter than you.”

He didn't answer.

Isa sighed. “She blames me for the death of her friend.” Her voice had lost the haughtiness that had been present seconds ago, and was now quiet, full of grief.

“Did you kill her?”

His blunt question drew a small smile from her as it reminded her of the question Isabel had asked her before. She gave the same answer she’d given her red-headed friend. “It feels like it.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Her eyes snapped up to his.

“I didn’t ask if it felt like you killed her. I asked if you did.” His gray eyes held steady on hers, calm as ever as he instructed her to answer his question.

“But I didn’t get there in time.”

He doesn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t fast enough to save her. If I’d been faster, stronger, she’d still be alive.

“Still not what I asked.”

“What am I supposed to say to that?”

“Simple yes or no.”

Exasperated, she cried out, “No! Is that what you want to hear! No, I didn’t kill her!” She gasped when she said that, something inside her clicking.

I…I didn’t kill her. The titan killed her. I tried to save her. I may not have been fast enough to save her, but it wasn't me that killed her.

Even though it still hurt that she hadn’t been able to save her friend, the pain had dulled, as a third part of her was stitched at her admission that she hadn’t killed her friend.

Simply saying the words out loud had brought a small dose of clarity that she’d needed. And it had come, somehow, with the help of the gruff man beside her.

She looked up at Levi with wide eyes, unsure of what to say.

How is it that he was able to cut straight to the point and get me to say what I've known for months now, but was never able to admit to myself? Hange has spent the last few months trying to do just that, and he was able to do it within minutes?

Before he could say anything else, the rest of their group made their way into the stables, clearly worried about their friend.

Hange was the first to get to her, wrapping her up in a tight hug. “Isa are you alright? I’m so sorry, Sherri…she’s being so cruel to you right now.”

“It’s fine Hange. I…I didn’t kill Lucy.” Saying the words again only made it seem clearer. "It...It wasn't my fault."

Hange froze at her friend finally uttering the words she’d been trying to get through her thick skull all these months. She pulled her friend in tighter, grateful that she’d somehow managed to come to the realization that Lucy’s death wasn’t her fault.

Isa pulled back. “I think we’ve wasted enough of this day. Let’s go enjoy this festival.”

~ - ~

As they walked through Trost, Isa couldn’t help but be more amazed than ever. It looked so different than the previous times she’d been there.

Along the streets, tables had been set up, with people selling various food and goods. The shop owners had closed their shops for the day so that they could enjoy the festival with everyone else.

The heat of summer had given way to the cool warmth that comes with fall. Some trees had already begun to lose that lush green, giving way to bold reds and oranges.

They stopped at a booth selling various scarves and hats. When Isabel threw on a feathered bonnet Isa couldn’t hold back her laugh as the young girl mocked the uppity noblewomen of Mitras.

Hange had put on an elaborate hat that had flowers sitting on the top, and a long veil trailing down the back. She curtsied and bowed at the passersby, drawing odd looks from them.

The woman did look rather strange dressed in her trousers and a simple long-sleeved shirt with an elegant hat on her head. But at the same time, it was Hange, and she pulled it off.

Giggling, Isa couldn’t resist throwing a giant top hat on Furlan’s head. He glared at her, though it held no malice, only humor. And when she stepped close to wrap a scarf around his neck, she failed to notice the flush creeping up his neck and cheeks, or the way his eyes darkened ever so slightly, as he watched her concentrate as she perfected the scarf’s loop.

Isa grabbed another top hat from the stack and snuck over to where Levi stood facing the street, setting it on his head when he wasn’t looking. She innocently looked away and avoided eye contact when he turned to glare at her. Though, she couldn’t hide the cheeky grin on her face when she saw Levi’s peeved expression from the corner of her eyes.

She only laughed when he grumbled about how filthy the hats were and ‘how dare’ she put something so disgusting on his head.

When he pulled the hat off and his hair clung to it because of the static Isa couldn’t hold back anymore. Every bit of happiness she’d ever felt came crashing onto her in a giant wave that took over her entire being. The horror of last week...the sadness of earlier this morning, forgotten for the moment. She dissolved into laughter, unable to control herself or the flood of the pure joy that coursed through her. The rolling giggles that fell from her filled the air at the sight of something as simple as Levi’s hair sticking to his hat.

Too busy laughing she failed to notice that he’d paused in the removal of the hat, completely taken aback by the joyful sounds coming from her.

Four pairs of eyes turned in awe as Isa laughed. Never had her friends heard such a lighthearted, musical sound come from her.

Soon, her laughter spread, and Isabel and Hange were now chortling with her, ecstatic to see Isa so overjoyed. Furlan couldn’t resist the urge to chuckle, and even Levi’s face had gained a peaceful expression at the sight of his friends so happy and free.

When the merchant at the table shooed them away for being too loud, they moved on, the five of them simply relishing in the feel of being alive and completely free from responsibility, even if for only a day.

The happy mood followed Isa, and she held on tight to it, not ready to let it go. She took in the sights surrounding her. Everywhere she looked there were people.

Parents trying to keep up with their children as they dashed around in excitement.

Teenagers walking around with their friends, joking and laughing as they shamelessly tried to catch the eye of their crushes.

Couples both young and old, walking hand in hand as they simply enjoyed each other’s company strolling around the streets.

Isa felt a pang of loneliness hit her as she watched the enamored couples.

Will I ever have that?

Shoving that thought aside, not wishing to bring down her mood, she kept moving forward. She was so lost in her observation of everything around her, she failed to notice that Isabel, Furlan, and Hange had disappeared at some point, leaving her alone with Levi who walked beside her.

It wasn’t until she felt a sharp pull on her arm yanking her to the side of the street, that the festival’s spell on her was broken.

Blinking, she looked down at her arm to see Levi’s hand wrapped tight around it, a warm weight that sent tingles shooting through her from where their skin touched. When she looked up at the man attached to the hand, she saw that his face held the slightest hint of irritation. She looked behind her, where she’d been walking, she saw that she’d almost been trampled by a horse and carriage, that enraptured by the sights she’d been.

“Oi, do you make it a habit of walking with your head stuck in the clouds?”

His gruff voice drew her attention back to him, and her breath hitched at how close she was to him. Close enough to see those blue flecks again, mesmerizing and hypnotizing as ever. When she blinked, the people, the smells, the sounds, everything around her faded away, and all she could see were those beautiful gray orbs speckled with blue which had her blood flowing languidly throughout her veins. All she could smell was that faint hint of tea, and that intoxicating, masculine scent she couldn’t place. All she could hear was the buzzing roar of her blood rushing through her head. She blinked again and swallowed thickly, as her senses overwhelmed her.

Her eyes dropped of their own accord to his lips, and she wondered again what they would feel like. Even set in their usual frown, up close, they looked soft…warm…inviting. Enticing.

Snap out of it, Isa!

She jolted when she realized she’d been standing there staring at him, and he was watching her with that same calculating gaze, brows knit ever so slightly, waiting for an answer. Flushing she pulled back, hoping that he hadn’t noticed her reaction.

“Oh...I...sorry. I mean...thank you. I...I got a bit caught up in everything and didn’t watch where I was going. I apparently do that sometimes without realizing it.” She scratched awkwardly at her head, desperate to rid herself of the rush flowing through her. “I should probably do better with paying attention.” She chuckled nervously, face flushing further when her mouth refused to stop babbling.

Needing distance, needing to clear her head, she took another step back. It wasn’t until then that she realized he still held her arm, those same tingles still running through her from where their skin touched.

When he dropped his hand, the tingles stopped, but her arm was left cold in the absence of its heat.

She needed to find a distraction, anything to distract her from the residual sensations still coursing through her.

Looking around she saw some people gathering around a stage that had been set up in the center of Trost.

Without thinking, she grabbed Levi’s arm. “Come on, let’s go see what’s over there.”

When she pulled him along with her, she was surprised that he came willingly. She smiled at the irony of her pulling him the way he’d dragged her around before.

When they got to the stage, she was intrigued to see that there was a play of some sort going on.

Curious, she moved closer, completely forgetting that she held Levi’s arm captive.

On the stage, the actors were acting out a scene from a play she remembered reading when she was younger. They were at the part where the young heroine was standing on the balcony of her room, pondering her love for the hero.

She swore her love to him, regardless of if he could ignore his family’s wishes. The young maiden was desperate to be with her love, no matter the cost. She was willing to give everything she had away, if it meant she could be with him forever.

As the play went on, the star-crossed lovers were sent through a series of events that kept them apart and brought them together. A dance of love that kept the audience enraptured and wondering if there could be a happy ending. Isa looked around her to see that the people were fixated on the scene in front of them.

And when both lovers took their lives, many in the audience had watery eyes at the sight of unfulfilled love.

When Isa chanced a glance at him, she wasn’t surprised at all to see that Levi looked as bored as ever. And only then did she realize she still had his arm in her grasp.

Face flaming, she yanked her hand away and gave a nervous chuckle. “Sorry about that.”

It didn’t even occur to her to wonder why he hadn’t said anything.

“We should uh...probably go find the others. We should head back soon, it’s getting late, and you guys don’t want to be tired tomorrow.”

He simply gave her a nod in agreement.

As they walked in search of their friends, she thought back to what happened last week, and her inability to defend herself. An idea occurred to her.

“Levi?” Her voice was a touch timid, unsure of what his answer would be.

“What?” His gruff tone only made her more nervous.

She chewed at her lip. “Do you…do you think you could help me with something?”

“Depends on what it is.”

She turned her head to watch him as they walked. “Would you be willing to help me with fighting? I…I want to be able to defend myself in case…” She trailed off, afraid to keep going.

Levi stopped walking and turned to face her, thinking over her request. “Alright.”

She blinked at him. “I…didn’t expect you to agree that easily.”

He shrugged. “Makes sense that you want to be able to defend yourself, which you’re shit at.”

She beamed at him, not even caring that he’d just insulted her, just grateful that he’d agreed. “Thanks, Levi.”

She remembered she still had his handkerchief. “Oh, here. I’ve been meaning to give this back to you. Thank you, for letting me use it that night. Don’t worry, I washed it for you. I know how you feel about keeping things clean.” Awkward as ever, she held his handkerchief out to him.

He took it handkerchief from her hand, and his fingers accidentally brushed against hers, sending more of those same tingles up her spine, only fainter this time.

What is that?

She didn’t have time to ponder too long, as her friends showed up, cutting off any wondering thoughts.

Apparently, Isabel and Hange had gotten distracted by some of the tables littered with food, and Furlan had stayed behind, trying to get them to keep moving and not devour everything in sight.

Agreeing that they should leave, they started walking back to where they’d left the horses.

As they walked, the same man that had stopped Isa months ago blocked their path.

“You…you people shouldn’t be here.” He pointed at Isabel, Levi, and Furlan. “You three are those thugs from the Underground. It’s bad enough that our taxes pay for the ridiculous branch that is the Scouts, now they’re paying for criminals. Enough is enough.”

“What the hell is your problem? We weren’t doing anything to you.” Isabel glared up at the older man.

He sneered down on her. “Listen here, missy, my problem is that my hard-earned money is now paying for bed and board for some lowlifes who don’t belong here.” He made to poke at Isabel’s shoulder, but before he could, Isa grabbed his arm.

She was beyond sick and tired, beyond frustrated, of people judging these three just because they were from the Underground. This man was trying to ruin their day, when they were just out trying to enjoy themselves before they left the walls tomorrow. She squeezed his arm, hard, yanking him down to her level so she could glare into his eyes. The pressure on his arm drew a gasp from the man.

“Don’t. Fucking touch her.” She spat out. “I thought I told you before that you should be grateful that the Scouts willingly leave these walls to try to learn more. I suggest you walk away. Now. Or these ‘lowlifes’ will be the least of your problems.” Her glare was fierce, cutting through the man, who now quivered in fear despite the fact that he was taller.

When she released him, he left without another word.

She felt four pairs of eyes staring at her, and she turned to sheepishly face her friends, slightly embarrassed after that display of anger.

She gave a nervous chuckle. “Some people just don’t know when enough is enough. I had to deal with him a while back, and…well hopefully this time he’s learned his lesson.”

Out of all of her friends, it was Levi’s reaction that surprised her the most. Instead of his usual questions at her motivation or his claims that they don’t need help defending themselves, this time, he gave a simple nod, the only indication of gratitude at how she’d had helped Isabel.

Unsure of what else to say, Isa started walking, continuing their trek back to their horses, and the rest of her friends followed.

As they walked, Levi’s words from weeks ago echoed in Isa’s mind, brought back to the forefront when he hadn’t even said anything after she defended them against that man.

‘No one does things for others without wanting something in return.’

This time she’d gotten no harsh words, no questions, just a simple nod. For once, it seemed that he’d accepted that she was simply trying to help them.

It seemed as if Levi was finally beginning to understand that she had no malintent towards them.

And with that, Isa knew that at some point, she’d somehow taken a big step towards earning Levi’s trust, and the thought thrilled her.

She didn’t know how, and she didn’t know when, but something had done to make the man’s opinion of her shift.

Ethel’s words came to mind.

‘You’ll have to find your own path.’

Isa smiled to herself.

Maybe the woman knows what she’s talking about.

<- Chapter 8

Starved Menu

Chapter 10 ->

[anncanta]

The imagery of BBC ‘Dracula’: mythology, alchemy, literature. Part 2

Part 1 is here.

Mirror

One of the cross-cutting images of the entire work, which underlies the very narrative structure on which it is built, the image of the mirror is one of the most ancient in European culture. Which is not surprising – a reflective surface capable of showing a person himself was probably initially perceived as magical – not by chance, as in the situation with photography, the earliest myths and fears associated with mirrors speak of soul abduction.

In Dracula, the image of the mirror is presented at the same time as a literal object that the protagonist fears, his main phobia, a metaphor for his ability/inability to look at himself, and the resulting all this motive of duality that unfolds the story as a drama of reflections.

Let's start with a literal mirror. I don't know if you noticed, but in the first episode, with the exception of the scene in Jonathan's room in Dracula's castle, there are no mirrors at all. And even that only thing of Harker Dracula instantly breaks. It is interesting how he does it – not as a negative character, grimacing angrily at the sight of a hated object, or an unforgettable queen in various versions of the story about Snow White, destroying a mirror showing her not what she wants. Dracula breaks the mirror instinctively, doing it in one movement as if delaying or trying to think about it could be almost more dangerous than the object itself is. It is possible that this is so. He then tells Jonathan that he cannot provide him with another mirror in return, as he does not keep such things in his house. From that moment on, not once during the two episodes did he look at his reflection, including the scene with Dorabella, where the Count shows a young woman what could have been in her life, reflected in the water, but does not look into it himself.

The third episode looks in huge contrast to the first two. Now Dracula, who woke up in the twenty-first century, looks at himself constantly. In fact, if you peer closely, he does just that throughout the episode. And not only literally, but also metaphorically. Which, in general, is logical: given the events that took place in the castle, and then on Demeter, we can assume that for the first time in many years Dracula plucked up the courage to see himself, to meet with himself and think about what he was.

Judging by what the Count sees in the mirror, the answer is not very inspiring.

It turns out that there is nothing majestic, bright, and attractive either in himself or in his life. His spectacular charming appearance is a mask, an illusion, and an old man with gray hair and sunken eyes looks to him from the window glass, his house is a pompous empty room, trying to replace the unattainable sun with an excess of artificial light, his woman is a silly girl who is not afraid of death because she is unable to appreciate life.

The ruthlessness and brightness of the reflections leave no chance for false interpretations. In this sense, the relationship between Dracula and his new lawyer is especially eloquent. You need to understand that the reflection of Jonathan Harker in modern reality is not Jack Seward, but Renfield. Obsequious, stupid, pitiful, ready to do anything for the sake of influence and power. It is the worst mirror the Count has ever seen, and, as he begins to conjecture, perhaps just the one he deserves.

The reflection in Renfield and in Lucy leads Dracula in the end to what he fled from for so many years.

To the needle and the sun.

Needle

When you talk about images in works of art, you always have to keep in mind that images are inseparable from motives and plots with which they travel through time and that every time you discover a particular object and symbol in a text, you, like a fisherman in an old fairy tale, can bring the whole world to the surface. And it doesn't matter at all whether the image is large or small, is it constantly mentioned in the text or is the central one in a single short episode.

In Dracula, the needle occurs only once, but its appearance can serve as an example of how a single image, arising, ‘gathers’ an archetypal story around itself.

Globally, in Dracula, there are two central archetypal plots: the plot of the beauty and the beast and the plot of the sleeping beauty. I suggest looking at how one of them works at the image level.

I'm talking about the plot of the sleeping beauty. 

Let`s recall the episode in the isolation ward. What does Dracula do before making an incision in his arm and filling a test tube with blood? That's right, he gives Zoe a needle. The same spindle, which in a fairy tale makes a sleeping beauty fall asleep (symbolically, like a caterpillar, plunge into a transformative state, from which it will emerge as a butterfly).

In the film, Dracula plays both the role of a witch taking revenge for the fact that she was not invited to the party, and a prince called to wake up the beauty. This is literally shown in the scene when, in a vision of Zoe, who drank the Count's blood, Agatha and Zoe look into each other's eyes, connected by Dracula and standing on opposite sides of him. Moreover, pay attention – Zoe stands behind the Count's back, symbolizing the past, while Agatha is right in front of him, metaphorically meaning the future.

Well, and if this is not enough for someone, a little later they will show us Zoe, lying in bed, and Agatha, entering the door.

And what comes after her?

Sun 

Author`s note

This part of the article contains thoughts that I unexpectedly discovered a few days ago in a beautiful text The Petruvian Man by @devoursjohnlock. I highly recommend this article to those who are interested in the topic of images and the structural construction of Dracula.

In the first episode, the sun rarely appears, in the second it is hidden almost all the time behind clouds or fog, and in the third it crosses the hero's path several times in a row – first in Bob's house, where Zoe threatens to collapse the roof if Dracula does not surrender, then – in the form of golden light, hugging the building of the Jonathan Harker foundation, where the Count is brought in a box, until it finally bursts into the window of Dracula's own house, categorically and victoriously, putting an end to all the vague games.

We will not talk here about the meaning of the sun as reason, consciousness, openness, new life, clarity, and realization of an integral personality. This is understandable, and we talked about this earlier. Let's look at it as an image that is used in this text a little unusual, but that's why it is no less interesting, creating depth and additional context where you don't expect it.

We are talking about the scene at the very beginning, in the first episode, which at first glance seems to be nothing more than a joke, an attempt by the writers to ‘dilute’ the drama, so to speak. But it's not that simple.

Remember how Dracula leads Jonathan Harker to his room and walks past the portraits of Petruvio and the architect’s wife? Remember what he says to Jonathan?

‘This castle was the Widower`s final work. A monument to his lost love and the sunlight, to which he could never return.’ And then Dracula adds: ‘...he died here in the arms of his wife,’ – in response to Jonathan's remark how this could be possible, as Petruvio was a widower, saying: ‘It must have been a cold embrace.’

Reflecting later on this gloomy joke, Johnny concludes that Petruvio considered his wife his sun: ‘What else is sunlight, but the face of one`s beloved?’, and guesses that behind her portrait is hidden a plan of the castle. And then words follow, which, in combination with what was said earlier, create an image that becomes a kind of symbolic prologue to the entire text and at the same time a brief description of the plot.

Finding the plan, Johnny deciphers it and discovers a way out behind Petruvio's portrait. Then he says: ‘Petruvio’s wife was the sunlight, and he stood guard at the door.’

Does it remind you of anything?

What happens in the last scene in the third episode?

The catharsis of the uniting of the two, which became possible only because both realized and accepted their – as we could see from the very beginning – natural roles in this play. Agatha took the role of the sunlight and the liberating power of love and mind, and Dracula – the role of the door.

And on a figurative level, this was laid down from the first minutes of the film. Spoken in words for those who do not read visual messages. Down to the smallest details, like the architect who died in the arms of his wife, who by that time was already dead. As well as Agatha, who was physically dead for one hundred and twenty-three years by the end of the third episode.

Rather, as in the case of the needle, and in many others, here words only confirm and express directly what is said at the symbolic level, and it is impossible to separate one level from other. Reading them at the same time, moving between them, and looking at them together, you can see the whole story, and even guess what is it about.

But more on that later.

Part 3.

[animezing-fandoms]

A Place to Call Home (Gruvia Week Day 1: Home)

Masterlist

Warnings: None.

Relationships: Gruvia

Summary: Gray finds a nice secluded place in the woods with a house, and he invites Juvia over to check it out.

A/N: Happy Gruvia week everyone! I hope everyone’s having fun in these trying times! 

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"So this is where Gray-sama lives?" Juvia asks as she stands in front of a house in the woods.

"For the past few months yeah." Gray says as he stands beside her, also looking at the house.

It was a two-story cottage with dark wood paneling on the outside. It was probably built from trees that were cut down in the woods to make it. But it had plenty of windows so lots of light could get inside and it had a nice view of the lake too. In fact, if they walked East along the beach for about half an hour they'd be at the guildhall. But Gray never took that path to get there. He didn't want anyone to find this peaceful little cove he'd settled himself down in. The last thing he'd want is to have Natsu start breaking into his house like he does to Lucy all of the time. Especially now that he wasn't planning on living here alone anymore.

"It's nice. Juvia likes it." Juvia says.

"Wanna see the inside?" Gray offers.

"Yes." Juvia says softly with a slight blush.

They walk up to the porch and Gray takes his jacket off and then his shirt follows. Juvia just smiles and picks up his discarded clothes before they get too much dirt on them.

When they get onto the porch he unlocks the door, opens it, and then steps inside holding the door open for Juvia to follow. As she walks inside he watches her face for her reaction.

"Oh my, Gray it's lovely." Juvia says.

The first floor was open concept and it had a stone fireplace in the center with a big gray rug in front of it. There was a big comfy sofa in front of it and a few bookshelves underneath the windows.

To the right of the living space was a kitchen. Juvia went over to it and opened some of the cabinets.

"There's a surprising amount of food in here considering you don't cook." Juvia says curiously.

"Well I figured I could have you cook stuff for me." Gray says. "You made some really delicious stuff for me back when we were living together while the guild disbanded. I was kinda hoping you could make me something later today."

"Juvia would love to!" Juvia says with a smile.

Gray took her upstairs and Juvia curiously peeks into the empty rooms.

"Gray-sama has two empty rooms." Juvia points out. "What will he do with them?"

"I don't know. I figured I'd just use them for storage for now until I find another use for them." Gray explains. "Come down the hall with me, I'll show you my room."

Juvia squeals and her face turns bright red.

"Gray-sama wants to show Juvia his room! Oh my, what naughty things is he planning on doing to her in there!" Juvia exclaims.

"Nothing!" Gray shouts, with his face bright red now as well. "I just wanna show you the space that's all."

"Oh, okay then let's go." Juvia says and happily skips after him down the hall.

He lets her in his room and she gasps when she sees the view outside the window and runs up to it and bounces on the balls of her feet.

"Look Gray-sama you can see the lake and there are fish jumping out of it!" Juvia exclaims happily and points at the lake.

He smiles at her. To be honest, the view of the outside is nice but it was the view inside that was making him smile right now.

"It's a beautiful view." Juvia says.

"Yeah it is. And that's only because you're standing in it." Gray says.

"Oh Gray-sama you're making Juvia blush!" Juvia exclaims and tries to hide her face in her hands.

"Well I am your boyfriend. That's my job isn't it?" Gray asks as he comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist before kissing her cheek.

"Yes but you aren't usually so affectionate with Juvia like you are right now. She loves the attention but she's curious as to why." Juvia says.

"I'll tell you why. It's because I love you Juvia." Gray says. "I know I told you that awhile ago but I haven't really been able to do much to show you because I don't like getting all romantic with you in front of our guildmates. And it's too easy for someone to catch me sneaking into your room in Fairy Hills so I was thinking that maybe you could come live with me here, in a place no one knows about but us where I can have you all to myself be as romantic with you as I want."

"Oh Gray-sama that would be a dream come true for Juvia! She would love to live with you here!" Juvia says and tears up while looking into his eyes while he cups her cheek and brings his lips down to hers.

The kiss lasts for a long time, and once it ends, they're quick to start another. And another, and another until they're making out and Gray's hands start to wander and Juvia gasps as her back hits the wall as Gray starts to kiss her neck.

"Juvia thought Gray-sama wasn't going to do anything naughty to her in here." Juvia sighs breathily.

"I'm not." Gray says. "At least not in here. I was thinking that I could get a fire going in the fireplace downstairs and then do something naughty to you down there to warm you up even more than I will."

"Oh Gray!" Juvia moans at the thought of that romantic scene. "But there's also a fireplace in here. And for some reason there's smoke coming up from the bottom and up the chimney."

Gray pulls away from her to look.

"That's because it's connected to the one downstairs. But how is there smoke unless there's a- oh crap!" Gray exclaims and storms towards the door. "Stay in here I'll be right back!" He tells Juvia.

Juvia stands by the fireplace and fixes her clothes while her boyfriend runs down the stairs.

"Natsu! Happy! What the hell are you two idiots doing in here!" Gray exclaims.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing! What are you doing here?" Natsu exclaims.

"You tell me first!" Gray shouts.

"You tell me first!" Natsu argues.

"Oh my gosh you two are children!" Happy exclaims. "Natsu's bored out of his mind because Lucy's on a job with Levy and I saw some fish jumping around near here in the lake and took him with me and we found this cabin and the door was open so we decided to come in and explore. That's our reasoning for being here, now what's yours."

"Uhh..." Gray says.

Juvia chuckles from the conversation she's overhearing and wonders what excuse her lover will make up. She knew he wanted to keep this place a secret but Juvia knew that nothing in their guild could remain a secret for long and that someone would stumble across the home Gray had found for them sooner rather than later.

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A/N: If you liked this please leave a comment! 

[tabloidtoc]

Star, March 8

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: George Clooney vs. Brad Pitt -- the fight that ended their friendship

Page 1: Scott Disick's mid-life makeover -- some guys buy a convertible but Scott already has a garage full of fancy rides, so what else to do when you're edging close to 40, split from the mom of your three kids and are already dating a 19-year-old model? Well, bleach your hair platinum, of course!

Page 2: Contents, Leighton Meester and Adam Brody celebrated their sixth wedding anniversary with a couple's surf session

Page 3: Star Shots -- John Legend wore an eye-catching sweater to a photoshoot in West Hollywood, Anya Taylor-Joy stunned in a crimson gown on the set of an untitled David O. Russell-directed period film, Jason Sudeikis grabbed a bite during a break from filming Ted Lasso's second season in London

Page 4: After hosting countless rose ceremonies over nearly two decades of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, Chris Harrison is now in the hot seat himself and facing backlash for defending current Bachelor frontrunner Rachael Kirkconnell who's been accused of racist behavior -- the next day, Chris apologized and said he was stepping aside as host of the dating reality series but the damage was done as Rachel Lindsay who is the first Black lead in the franchise's history revealed she won't renew her Bachelor contract and current Bachelor Matt James supported her -- as for Chris, the fallout continues as Crest are considering pulling down ads featuring him but with critics calling for his ouster Chris wants his job back and no one at ABC wants to see him replaced but those conversations are happening

Page 5: Miley Cyrus has an idea how to help Britney Spears in her legal battle to replace dad Jamie Spears as her conservator -- Miley is hoping she and Britney can record a classic song together like an anthem like Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves or Enough Is Enough and she's hoping to get Britney on board but that may be a challenge with the legal restrictions in place

* Mom-of-eight Kate Gosselin didn't get what she was asking for on her house in Pennsylvania -- it's upsetting that she got less than she paid for it but her hand was forced; it costs a lot to keep up a house like that on 20-plus acres and with years of roughhousing, it needs a lot of work -- with twins Mady and Cara already in college and the sextuplets growing up, Kate hopes to jump-start her career and she's dying to leave Pennsylvania and head to Hollywood

* Paris Hilton's boyfriend of just over a year Carter Reum dropped to one knee on a gorgeous private beach and offered Paris his heart and a sparkler from Cartier and she said yes -- close family was on hand to celebrate the couple who have been friends for 15 years and the party went on well into the evening -- now Paris is already making wedding plans for something simple and elegant with a gorgeous dinner and the couple is ready to start a family sooner rather than later and she's hinted she's already started IVF and if she gets pregnant they'll just push up the wedding

Page 6: Ryan Gosling needed some time off after 2018's moon-landing biopic First Man because he really became Neil Armstrong during the six months of shooting and he was absolutely drained after finishing it and he spent the next two years with wife Eva Mendes being a full-time dad to their two young kids -- now he's back and with three movies lined up, he's looking at a $75 million paycheck this year -- in addition to The Gray Man, he's gearing up for a Wolfman update and another space adventure called Project Hail Mary -- he wants to be a popcorn-movie star and he's going full-blown buff-and-shirtless action hero

* Allen v. Farrow is a new investigation into 1992 allegations about Woody Allen by his adopted daughter Dylan Farrow and her mother Mia Farrow that digs up damning new evidence against the director -- one harrowing home video shows the then-7-year-old Dylan saying her dad touched her privates and later a doorman and a building manager and a maid at Allen's NYC residence raise questions about when Woody began his shocking relationship with Mia's teen daughter Soon-Yi -- Mia also expresses fear in the doc, saying she worries that when the documentary comes out he'll be on the attack again and he'll do whatever he has to do to save himself

* Star Spots the Stars -- Julia Roberts, Joe Jonas, Luann de Lesseps, Christina Aguilera, Kaia Gerber, Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae Young

Page 8: Star Shots -- With balloons and a box of chocolate in hand lifestyle expert Gretta Monahan arrived at The View, Melissa Gorga snacked on a huge box of sweets between Zoom interviews to promote the 11 season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Vanessa Lachey prepared to host a Galentine's Day celebration with macarons and wine

Page 10: Jenna Dewan making a plant-based meal, Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn and her husband Christian Richard sipped juice bar drinks while running errands in Beverly Hills, Hugh Grant stopped to tend to his laces while out for a walk in Chelsea in West London, Carrie Underwood prepped for her daily workout session in pieces from her Calia fitness apparel line

Page 12: After a stop at the Kidding Around children's store Bradley Cooper had his hands full walking with his daughter Lea in NYC, Sofia Vergara chic in a blowout and patterned top in Beverly Hills, Justin Bieber looked comfy in a message tee and pajama bottoms in L.A.

Page 13: Thandie Newton looked tense while Chris Pine hit the ground running as the two filmed the spy thriller All the Old Knives in London, Jon Bernthal braved the frigid water while Gretchen Mol bundled up on the set of American Gigolo in L.A.

Page 14: Think Pink -- Jennifer Lopez hoisted an oversized customized bubble-gum hued Coach satchel in a promo shot in NYC, Cardi B slipped on neon sneakers from her Reebok collaboration to shop on Rodeo Drive in L.A., Hilary Duff showing off a peek of her growing baby bump on the set of Younger in NYC

Page 16: In town to film The Hills: New Beginnings with their castmates Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag played in the snow with their son Gunner in Lake Tahoe

Page 17: Mandy Moore and husband Taylor Goldsmith celebrated their last Valentine's Day before parenthood with a romantic stroll in Pasadena, Michelle Obama on her new children's show Waffles + Mochi

Page 18: Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay in NYC, hiding her locks in a cute newsboy cap Brooke Burke grabbed dinner at Nobu in Malibu, Krysten Ritter brought her son Bruce to meet some farm animals at the Gentle Barn in Santa Clarita

Page 20: Normal or Not? Farrah Abraham suffered a serious wardrobe malfunction while hitting the sand in Malibu -- not normal, Nikki Reed gushing over her therapy chicken -- normal, Property Brothers' Drew Scott booty bumpin' with wife Linda Phan -- not normal, Lucy Hale lovingly held onto her new dog Ethel while fueling up her ride in L.A. -- normal

Page 22: Fashion -- stars in pastel frocks -- Heidi Klum, Sophia Bush, Chrissy Teigen

Page 23: Rihanna, Kirsten Dunst

Page 26: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are having sexy slumber parties at Kourtney's $8.5 million Calabasas pad and they are spending so much time together and she loves having him sleep over and he'll stay the whole weekend -- Travis who has lived nearby in the gated community for years is already making himself at home and not only has he moved a bunch of stuff into Kourtney's property but she leaves him to chill out and enjoy his space if she has to run errands -- even if it seems the couple is moving and moving in fast, their respective broods are on board with the new arrangement and Kourtney's kids Mason, Penelope and Reign love having Travis around and meanwhile the door is always open for Travis' kids Alabama and Landon, and Travis and Kourtney do a lot of fun stuff with their kids together -- there's already speculation that the move-in will be permanent because Kourtney knows a good thing when she sees it and Travis checks all the boxes

Page 27: Meeting the in-laws might be a little complicated for newly engaged Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers because the Green Bay Packers QB is famously estranged from his Chico, California-based family -- in 2016 Aaron's younger brother Jordan Rodgers exposed the rift while competing on The Bachelorette and at the time, fans blamed Aaron's then-girlfriend Olivia Munn for turning him Hollywood but the trouble continued after their 2017 split -- now that he's with Shailene, Aaron doesn't want to bring her into that toxic atmosphere but Shailene who once called her own folks super f**ked up is not deterred and she is encouraging Aaron to let bygones be bygones but he's not ready

* Melissa and Joe Gorga's marriage troubles will play out on the new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey but their issues are even worse behind the scenes and they've been butting heads as Melissa's career continues to skyrocket so she's distracted with work and doesn't have time for Joe and he feels neglected and he isn't one to hold back -- it doesn't help that the Envy boutique owner was rumored to be getting close to another man -- the couple is trying to work out their issues for the sake of their three kids but Melissa may be done

Page 28: Cover Story -- George Clooney and Brad Pitt: The Breaking Point -- fights, jealousy and other women -- the former besties had a major falling out and now mutual friend Sandra Bullock is desperate to reunite them -- George and Brad have barely spoken in eight years and they've definitely gone their separate ways and Brad's ex-wife Angelina Jolie played a big part in the demise of their friendship because Angie felt George took Brad away from her and their kids -- Amal Clooney found Angie unbearable and that was kind of the point of no return for Brad and George -- George is struggling to regain his luster as a director while Brad is out there winning Oscars

Page 32: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: Interview Shockers -- as they prep for baby number two, Harry and Meghan announce a no-holds-barred interview, leaving the palace on edge

Page 34: Celebs in Wheel Trouble -- don't drink (or drug) and drive; these stars got caught making some very bad decisions -- Bruce Springsteen, mug shots of Justin Bieber

Page 35: Reese Witherspoon, Vince Vaughn, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Phelps, Khloe Kardashian, Henry Thomas, Heather Locklear, Jesse Luken, Mel Gibson

Page 36: Beauty -- curl care -- strengthen every type of wave and coil with cool new miracle workers

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Bill Murray teamed up with NFL player Larry Fitzgerald for the AT&T Every Shot Counts Charity Challenge in Pebble Beach -- despite landing in third place, Bill and Larry made a great pair, earning an impressive $209,000 for local charities

[purplebass]

Forgiven: A Herongraystairs One Shot

This is my one shot gift for my 8,7K followers celebration for @daisyherxndale . I really hope you like this because I tried to pour my heart into it. It was really hard to write because I usually never kill anybody in my fics, but it doesn’t hurt to try (lol).

If somebody also wants a one shot gift from me, just hit my ask box. 😊

Couple: Will Herondale x Tessa Gray x Jem Carstairs Warning: death of a major character Setting: The Last Hours timeline

You gave up the fight You left me behind All that's done's forgiven You'll always be mine I know deep inside All that's done's forgiven

The starless night loomed on the London Institute like a thick cloth of dark blue velvet, and as Tessa was staring at it from the balcony of the drawing room, she felt happy. She had all that she wanted in her proximity: her husband, her children, even Jem was close although he couldn’t be as close to her as she wanted, but it was okay. Despite everything that happened lately, things seemed under control. She probably shouldn’t had been optimist because things could change in the blink of an eye, but what could she do?

“Mom,” James called from behind her and she turned with a smile. The lights were off, but James’ face was not completely hidden in the darkness. “You need to come out. Lucie has fainted, and…”

Tessa’s expression abruptly turned to apprehension. “What happened?”

“Come with me and I’ll explain, I-,” he began, then his voice stopped, as if he was chocking, and grabbed her hand to lead her to where his sister was. “I’m sorry, mama. I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry for what, James? Tell me what happened!” she demanded, trying to keep calm. “Why haven’t you taken her inside? Where is your father?”

James didn’t reply, he hurried towards the big doors that lead outside, moved by an oppressing anxiety. She had never seen him like this, she thought, but perhaps he hid it well. Once he opened the doors, Tessa couldn’t help herself and run towards Lucie. Cordelia and Matthew were also there, her parabatai keeping Lucie’s head on her legs while the other tried to hold her in place.  

Lucie’s face was partially covered with blood, and her hair attached to her forehead. Her face was ashen, too pale, too lifeless.

She fell to her knees besides her and grabbed her face, caressed her forehead, and checked her pulse. “What happened, Cordelia?” she demanded again.

Cordelia was covered by blood herself and it had stained her dress. “We wanted to tell you, we really wanted to tell you and your husband about it.”

“What did you want to tell us? What, Cordelia? Speak, we don’t have much time!” she commanded, checking her daughter’s breathing. “Thank you,” she murmured to herself more than to them. “She’s still breathing. Have you applied some iratze?”

Tessa looked at James, who looked at Cordelia, who looked at Matthew. The three of them exchanged glances that she didn’t like – they were surely keeping something from her, and she wondered why they weren’t keen on revealing it.

“James…” Cordelia said, her voice almost a whisper in the dark. “Should I?”

James’s expression was grave and he shook his head. “I should,” he agreed, then his gaze moved swiftly from his two friends, who nodded. “We went to our grandfather.”

Tessa froze in place. “You did what? James, I told you, you shouldn’t look for him. We all told you. I don’t care who he is or what he does, I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. We are sorry. Lucie… she… we…” James voice shook, and Tessa felt remorse in his words. “He struck her with his magic. We arrived just in time because she went alone to where he was hiding.”

Tessa squeezed Lucie’s hand and looked at her. “Oh, Lucie. Why? Have you called Jem?”

“Will went to Jem,” Matthew explained listlessly. “We met him when we got there. He decided to personally go to him because he didn’t trust somebody else to call for him.”

She felt relieved by the news, but still, something was wrong. “Why is she here, though? Do you want me to help you take her inside?”

“She’s here because she can’t move past the entrance,” Cordelia said, resigned. Tessa could tell that Lucie’s friend was trying hard not to be affected by the moment, but she could see it in her eyes. She wanted to cry. “It’s like there is an invisible barrier that doesn’t let us pass,” she explained.

How serious was this?

They all heard footsteps coming from the gate, and Tessa was relieved to see Will and Jem running to them, the carriage of the Silent Brothers barely inside of the entrance as if they had hopped off before it would completely enter the cobblestone yard of the Institute.

“Has she regained consciousness?” Will wondered, putting a hand on Tessa’s shoulder, as Jem knelt down to check on Lucie.

How long has she been like this? Jem asked to the younger onlookers.

James passed a hand through his already tousled hair. He was pacing behind Cordelia, and he couldn’t stay still. “A while,” he admitted, sighing in frustration. “Maybe an hour.”

“An hour? Why have you waited so long to call somebody?” Will demanded, his voice as sharp as a knife. He didn’t intend to unleash at James, but he was losing his mind. “What if she can’t be fixed?”

Calm down, Will. She’s still breathing. Now I need to…

Jem’s words were cut short, and nobody realized what had just happened until it was too late, because they were shoved away from the scene with a powerful thud.

Tessa stood still as intricate vines held her legs rooted to the place. She didn’t know how she was standing since she had been on the ground less than a moment before, and what was worse was that it wasn’t just her legs bound by the shrubs, but her hands as well. She looked down and saw the vines already cutting her skin, drops of blood falling on the cobblestone of what she called her home staining the pavement. That place had witnessed many encounters with their enemies, like during the clockwork war more than twenty years before, but she thought they were safe.

She thought the Institute was safe. She had been very content just a few minutes earlier, staring at the peaceful sky full of stars above her, why had life decided to change her mind and play this trick?

She didn’t believe in religion, she didn’t believe in any faith, but somehow, she felt as if this was the payback for something. Had she wished too much? Was this what fate reserved to people like her who were cursed with the special gift of immortality?

She felt her throat dry at the sight of her bound hands, but it wasn’t over. She glanced around her to check that everyone was alright: Will and Jem were getting back on their feet, while Matthew, Cordelia and James were still in a corner, huddled together and checking on each other. They didn’t look hurt from where she was, but she wasn’t able to see clearly. They had been thrown in opposite directions and quickly caught sight of her.

She searched for Lucie and she felt her heart fall in her stomach when she couldn’t locate her. She couldn’t move, and she could only see a part of the yard, but Lucie wasn’t there.

“Where is Lucie?” she asked the others.

“Tessa!” Will hurried to her without thinking, but Jem stopped him. He gazed at his friend with a frown. “Why are you stopping me, Jem? We need to free her!”

Look behind her, Jem murmured, and Tessa, despite being far from them, could also hear the tinge of agitation in his voice.

“How is it…”

“Possible?” Lucie inquired; a smug grin painted on her face. Tessa couldn’t see her daughter, but she knew she was behind her. “Everything is possible when you are a prince of hell, my dear shadowhunter. Oh, have I said dear? There is nothing dear about you. Your life is meaningless to me. But you were essential in the creation of my -”

“Who are you? Where is my Luce?” Will demanded angrily, balling his hands into fists. He wanted to advance towards Tessa and whoever was impersonating Lucie, but Jem was still holding his arm to keep him from rushing closer to his family.

“Don’t worry, I don’t intend to dispose of her body, if that’s what you’re worried about. She’s still here,” she touched her chest with a finger, “but if I decide she’s to my liking, I may not leave her. She’s a pretty girl, smart, willing to collaborate. Do you know that she came to me asking to resurrect her boyfriend?” she asked to no one in particular as she walked around Tessa until she could look her in the face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tessa Gray. I reckon you’re my daughter, apparently,” she said with disgust.

“Belial,” Tessa recognized with contempt.

“The one and only. Your son over there tried to destroy me and didn’t let me take his body once I returned from my little vacation, but your daughter here… it’s good you had two children.”

She couldn’t believe her eyes. She had often asked herself who her father could have been, but she had always dismissed the idea of even trying to look for him, to know who he was, to find out what were his powers and what she could do with them. She thought it wasn’t worth it. She knew her father was a prince of hell, and princes of hell were almost like them, except they were fallen angels, which meant that they also took pride in having really lived in heaven before their fall.

Somebody gasped in the distance, probably Cordelia, and Tessa saw that she was wielding Cortana.

Belial turned, following Tessa’s eyes to her daughter’s parabatai. “That would be useless, my dear,” she mocked Cordelia with a bat of her lashes – so unlike Lucie. “You already tried to hurt me with that petty golden thing once, but I won’t be fooled again. And ah, a little reminder. If you stab me, your friend will also die.”

“No one is going to die tonight, Belial. If you leave quietly,” said Will.

Belial gazed at him, tilting his head with a smirk. His eyes were still Lucie’s light blue, but they had lost their depth. Now they were hollow, and mocking. “You don’t interest me, or you’d be already dead, William Herondale,” he admitted. “I came for the most valuable piece,” Belial continue, moving around Tessa and stroking her chin. But the gesture lacked affection, because that wasn’t Lucie, it was just her body. Tessa shivered.

“What do you want?” Tessa inquired brusquely. “If it’s something I can give you, I will. But you need to leave us alone.”

The prince sneered at her. “You have such a temper, Tessa Gray. The sacrifice will be worth it, for sure. Tatiana will finally be disposable after this.”

She didn’t have time to ask what was he saying, because it all happened too quickly. Tessa just saw Belial grab Cortana from Cordelia’s hand, and in a swift move, the demon freed her feet and her hands from the vines. She barely registered Belial’s movements as he used the legendary sword to pierce her skin. And yet, she had just glanced at her hands for a second.

She felt her chest warm, and she realized that it was her blood scorching her. Why was her blood so heated? She feared that Belial would strike her again, but she barely had the time to think about this as she dropped to the ground, her strength suddenly leaving her body. She would have probably hit her head if she hadn’t fallen on her arm. She noticed Lucie’s body lying on the stones and she felt relieved. Belial had probably left her, or so she hoped.

She was losing consciousness by the second, but she saw that Lucie seemed to be waking up, and she looked startled?

“Mama,” she heard her say, then she felt her daughter grab her hand.

She felt another person put her head on a warm surface; perhaps it was a pair of legs? She tried not to close her eyes and she saw a flash of black and blue.

“Will,” she whispered, but her voice was a distant murmur.

“Yes, Tessa, I’m here. I’m here, Jem is here, you’re going to be alright,” he tried to reassure her, touched her face with his hand, kissed her hand… she noticed his hand was red, too red, too fast… “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded.

“My blood stained your hands,” she told him, as if she was saying something random, something ordinary. She thought her brain was acting up, why was she thinking about his hands?

But he didn’t care. He removed his evening jacket and pressed it on her chest, on her heart. Her heart. She had all the people she cared about around her. They were all part of her heart, and they were the reason why she woke up every morning. And yet, she felt her beat slow down, as if the love she had for them and the affection they also felt for her, wasn’t enough to let her heart keep its heartbeat. And in that moment, she was sure…

There is nothing we can do, she heard Jem say. His tone was blank, but she detected sorrow in it. Her time… her time has come, he added.

“What? But she’s immortal! She can’t be dying, she can’t!” Will shouted in the dark of the yard, his eyes still fixed on her. She could barely see him. “Tess, tell him. Tell him that you’re not leaving.”

Tessa opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out at first. “I’ve… I’ve always loved you. I love… everyone of you,” she murmured as she tried to look at all of the faces around her. “James, Lucie, Will, Jem… I love all of you.”

“I love you,” Will told her, his voice breaking by the tears falling on his face, which were now wetting her own. She noticed they were warm. “You are strong, Tessa. I know you’re a warrior. Remember what I told you once? You’re like Boadicea, you fight. You win.”

She tried to smile, but she didn’t know if she succeeded, since she felt a strange feeling seeping in. Emptiness. She was drowning somewhere, far away. She wondered if there really were a heaven and a hell, and if there were, where would she go?

“Don’t blame yourself for this, bach,” she told him. “This is not your fault. Not Lucie’s, not… James’,” she coughed, then she closed her eyes. Closing her eyes was comforting. If she would only…

She felt at peace after shutting her eyes, but she couldn’t tell them. They wouldn’t know. She wouldn’t know either how that night, which seemed so beautiful and haunting, had turned into her worst nightmare.

They would never forget the moment when Tessa died.

The way Will cradled her limp body into his arms to check her heartbeat and found no sound: emptiness, hollowness, as if Tessa had turned into a doll, a mannequin. The screeching sound of his heart breaking in the dead silence of the night as he wept on her corpse, who just a few hours before he had made love with. The same body he had worshipped countlessly as if she was a goddess, his goddess who would live forever. But then, why…  

He couldn’t understand why she couldn’t be saved – there must be something they could do, something the Silent Brothers could do. But Jem was sure. He was sure that she couldn’t be fixed, there was no cure for her, and this shattered the heart he still knew could feel with clarity, with emotion. Because a part of him had died too, just like Will had lost a part of himself that night.

And James and Lucie were crying besides their father, both asking for forgiveness because they had been reckless, they hadn’t asked their parents and uncle Jem for help, and now this was the result. They shouldn’t blame themselves; Tessa had said, but what could they do?

Everyone was falling apart that night, even Cordelia and Matthew who weren’t related to her at all.

Who would have thought that a night so dazzling and full of bright stars would bring such an agonizing demise? But that was the beauty and the bitterness of life: it played with death every day as if living was a game of chess. And sometimes, life lost the bet, and the devil came to collect.

[doof-doofblog]

"Let's Have That Playdate Tomorrow!"

Friday 20th November 2020

Hello again everyone! Hope you all are doing well, this current lockdown is nearly at an end! Hopefully things will start to look a bit better when Christmas comes around! I apologise for me being so behind on the episodes lately, unfortunately I am still working during this current lockdown and of course with things happening in my own personal life, there are times I miss out on watching an episode, let alone even getting the time to review one and type up a blog. I want to thank you all for your on-going support, there have been so many spoilers as to what may be happening over the Christmas period on Albert Square, I'm really looking to watching it all unfold!

Meanwhile, let's carry on from where I was last up to, Friday's episode. The episode begins with Kat, she's slumped on the kitchen table as Stacey makes her way in. Poor Kat looks as if she hasn't been able to have a wink of sleep all night. She reveals to Stacey that she's tried calling everyone she knows trying to find the whereabouts of Kush, she's still trying to call him but his phone remains off. Who knows where he must've gone to after the robbery?! He seems to have just done a disappearing act. But Kat isn't one to just hang around and do nothing, as she grabs her coat, she informs Stacey that she's going off to the police station to give her statement and then she's going to try and find Kush. If the police haven't got him then he must be somewhere?!

Meanwhile, Callum looks absolutely lost. He's seems to be in a world of his own as he tends to his busted lip. As Ben walks in, they begin to discuss how the whole situation has turned into such a mess. Callum informs his boyfriend that he really didn't have a choice but to let Kush go, considering he'd threatened to take down Ben with him if he got caught. Ben then speaks his opinion that Kush should remain missing, he seems to be believe that they would've gotten away with the robbery if Kush hadn't set off the silent alarm - however things seems to take an interesting turn here, Callum then reveals to his boyfriend that there actually wasn't a silent alarm, and the other reason the police turned up was because they received an anonymous 999 call. Ben seems to look deeply concerned, but does he have an idea as to who grassed them up?! Wait till he finds out that it was his brother!!

At the laundrette, Max walks in on Linda drawing up some new ideas for her business idea. She shows Max her rough copies of the new superhero's she's made, and of course - Max is really impressed and suggest that she should post them online. Once again I'm sensing more flirtation between the two, they suggest bringing their children together for a playdate and perhaps modelling some outfits that Linda has designed, but it's just so blatantly obvious that Linda is flirting when she suggests having an adult in on the modelling too to be pose with the children. They share a giggle as Sharon enters the building, oooh Sharon knows she has walked in on something! Both Linda and Max act very coy when she asks if she's interrupting something, Linda reveals to her friend that Max is helping with her business idea for the Lucy Beale Award. Sharon knows that Max is up to no good, the last thing she wants is for Max to break up another marriage! What do you think, are Linda and Max just good friends? Or do you fear that something is going to happen between the two and they'll cross the line?!

In the Cafe, Tiffany is informing her husband that both Rainie and Stuart haven't been in touch with her for a while since she agreed to be their surrogate, however once Keegan notices that she's had her phone on "Airplane Mode", loads of messages seem to come through once she's taken it off. I mean, of course Stuart and Rainie are going to be in touch with her as much as they can, it's the excitement of being one step closer to becoming parents. Suddenly they make their way into the Cafe and insist on buying Tiffany breakfast, however in stead of buying a lovely full English Breakfast, Rainie brings up a plate of salad to her - I mean, I get she wants her to be healthy so she'll be able to look after their baby okay, but something tells me it would start being a bit of an insult if she starts telling her what to eat and what not to eat. Tiffany and Keegan can both see this is going to be a really long journey for them.

Out on the Square, Ian appears to be dressed in his finest as he gives an interview for the Walford Gazette newspaper. I'm unsure what that interview is for, possibly for his public image? Or wanting to get the word out that the Vic is now under new management. He's one again gloating to this news crew that if it wasn't for him, the Queen Vic would've hit rock bottom with sales, business, etc. However, unfortunate for Ian, Tina is stood behind him listening to every word he's saying. It's interesting how many people he's really beginning to annoy and how many people are/will have it in for him. As Tina walks away after hearing him insult her family, Suki approaches and acknowledges how happy she is that someone as up-standing as Ian is getting the recognition he deserves, of course she's only saying that because they've come to an agreement of some kind. I do have a feeling that things aren't going to continue going well for Mr. Beale.

Returning to the Mitchell household, Kat pays them a visit an informs Callum that she's been down the statement having to give a false statement. She informs the young police officer that he didn't drop him in it but she knows full well that he let Ben off, she demands to know where Kush is, if anyone would know, he would, right?! Callum informs Kat that he has no idea of the whereabouts of Kush, its then he also drops the bombshell that he did find Kush during the robbery, but Kush ended up punching him and fleeing the scene. Kat can't believe that Kush would punch Callum, but he informs her that it's probably best if Kush stays hidden for the time being, as he not also took part in a robbery, he also assaulted a police officer, so maybe he is just lying low.

At the Atkins household, Phil is questioning Gray whether they'll be any issues in changing the licence plates on the cars. But Shirley reassures her boss that the paper work needs to be absolutely spot on, which is why Gray is doing the paperwork and Phil isn't! Interesting, there seems to be a lot of people who are in-the-know about this robbery. It's amazing how none of them have grassed any of them up, well of course except for Ian. But there's Kat, Stacey, Phil, Shirley, Ben, Callum, Kush, Gray, Sharon ... (Well maybe she doesn't know about the burglary but she's felt comfortable about giving Phil a false alibi?!) As Phil leaves the property, Tina arrives back and it's clear to see that she is seething over Ian's insults to her family and his attitude towards them and the Vic. Tina pleads to her sister that they attempt to get the pub back in their name, but Shirley reminds Tina that Linda is still an alcoholic, that was the reason they sold up in the first place. But Tina seems to believe that Linda is doing a lot better recently, she explains that since they sold the pub, Mick hasn't been the same, he seems to be so unhappy and lost. Could there be a way for the Carter's to win back the pub?! Is the pub really in Ian's name or Sharon's name? As Ian has always said that he bought the pub for Sharon, but who's name is really on the lease of the building?!

Returning to the Vic, Linda is informing her best friend about application for the Lucy Beale Award. It's nice to see Linda looking more positive and happy about her future prospects, but it's clear to see that Sharon is worried for her friend about getting too close to Max. As Linda is glowing with the excitement of a whole new beginning, Sharon voices her concerns about Max, but in a loving, friendly way that everything seems okay now between them, but if things go on it won't be long before Max will have his tongue down her throat. (However little does she know that they have already shared a kiss!) Linda reassures her friend that she wouldn't cheat on Mick and that she literally just sees Max as a mate. But Sharon has a good point, whilst Mick is away staying with Lee, it's understandable she's enjoying the attention but I'd hate to think she'd cheat on her husband whilst he was away, especially considering what he's been dealing with in recent weeks.

Meanwhile at the restaurant, Iqra is sat doing paperwork. Ian is stood behind the bar as Suki walks in, subtly she hands him over an envelope with half of the amount she promised him inside. Ian doesn't seem impressed and pulls Suki into the back for a private word, leaving the money on the bar counter. As he pulls Suki to one side he asks Iqra to watch the bar whilst they're in the back. Iqra is quite reluctant but once both Ian and Suki are out the back, Iqra starts to clean behind the bar, until she eventually comes across the envelope with the money inside it - instantly she's looking a little confused as to where this money has come from, but suddenly she begins to hear voices. Ian and Suki are both discussing their plan, Suki tells Ian that he won't receive the other half of the money until he has held up his end of the bargain and put things into paperwork and he has signed some kind of formal documents she needs, planning approval etc. Iqra is really shocked to have heard what she has, but what will she do with this information? Will she tell Ash what her Mother is really up to?! Or maybe will she help Tina in getting the Vic back in the Carter's name, knowing full well that Ian is up to some dodgy deals with Suki! Who knows?!

Back out on the Square, Whitney is seen leaving the Minute Mart as car sirens can be heard, slowly Ruby approaches from behind and they both watch in amazement as from across the Square, the police pull up the Slater household and barge their way in as they look for Kush. Stacey's voice can be heard objecting to them entering the house. Ruby voices her opinion that it doesn't surprise her that the police have come knocking at their door, however Whitney's response is more sympathetic, she questions that maybe the police have got the wrong house? But Ruby just laughs at Whitney's response and says that it wouldn't surprise her if they found something at the Slater household. Hmm, does Whitney know more than she's letting on?! Why would she be so quick to defend the Slater's?!

At the Carter's household, Max once again is helping Linda with her costumes (Wow! Can I just say how big baby Abi has grown?! I know it sounds silly, but I still picture her as a little baby, not the toddler that she's become. Didn't realise it was that long ago that Abi Branning passed away! Only feels like a year or two ago - which may possibly be how old young Abi it?!) As Linda is eager to get the children in their superhero outfits, Max picks out one for Ollie to year, however Linda recalls that the one he picked was the one Mick made for him when Ollie was first diagnosed with Autism. You can see a slight look of sadness as she mentions how Mick didn't want their son to feel different from everyone, so instead of different they made him feel special. When Max puts the superhero outfit away, Linda admits to him that it was actually Mick's idea to make their son a Superhero outfit. Is there a sense of guilt between them now that Mick hasn't been brought into the idea of superhero clothes for children?! Or the fact that they're feeling guilty for spending a lot of time together and have quite visibly been flirting with one another? Who knows?!

Meanwhile, Iqra has found her way to the Prince Albert, unfortunately she doesn't seem to be listening fully to Tina as her head is replaying what she's overheard from Ian and Suki. Tina is voicing how much she's going to miss living with her and Ash, but she understands that her moving out would help Iqra and Ash spend some time together. However, Iqra feels trapped in a corner as she admits to Tina that she can't stand Ash's family. I have to say I really do like the friendship between Tina and Iqra, I did kind of wish that they were a couple instead of Iqra and Ash. Anyway Iqra finds it in herself to confide in Tina and reveals everything that she witnessed, Suki giving Ian some money in return for some approval on a planning application. Tina tells Iqra that she's got to tell someone, she knows full well how dodgy Ian is being at the moment. Iqra pleads to her not to tell anyone, especially considering the fact the Iqra can't tell her own girlfriend that her Mum is up to something. But what will Tina do with this information? Will she find a way of getting her own back on Ian herself?!

Back at the Carter household, Max and Linda are enjoying taking pictures of their children in Linda's new children's superhero outfits. Only things take a slight U-turn when Max comments that they both make a good team. I think Linda maybe feels a little uncomfortable with his comment, he thanks Max for all his help but expressions her opinion that once they're done he should leave. Only when Linda begins to take photo's of Ollie with the flash on her phone, it frightens the poor boy and he attempts to hide underneath the kitchen table with his hands over his eyes. Linda apologises to her son and tries to coax him out but to no avail, Max then decides to take it upon himself to try and gain the little boy's trust. He gets down to his level and squeezes underneath the table, softly he speaks to the little boy and after suggesting that they build a den after taking their photographs, the little boy removes his hands from his face, much to Linda's surprise. Eventually Max persuades little Ollie to get up and join in with taking photographs, to which Linda is incredibly thankful.

Back on the Square, Tiffany and Keegan are approaching the chippy (Yum! Everyone loves a chippy, right?!) As Keegan orders himself some food, Tiffany feels a bit gutted that she's having to stay healthy. As she's voicing her frustration, Stuart appears from behind and informs her that he's managed to go to the chemist and pick up some vitamins for her. He pulls out about 3 or 4 different tube bottles full of pills and Tiffany is looking pretty overwhelmed with this new information that she's having to take pills as well as eat healthily. However it looks as if enough is enough when Stuart asks her to start taking them that day, she understands that they want the baby to be healthy but she assures Stuart that she wouldn't let anything happen to their child once its in her womb. Stuart seems to understand, he apologises for coming on so heavy, its nice that they have come to acknowledge each other's understanding, Tiffany tells him politely that she's more than happy to carry their child for them, but it does not mean that they can start telling her what she can and can't do, and in all fairness - Stuart completely agrees and announces that they'll do it Tiffany's way, to which she then responds with happily ordering something from the chippy.

Once again, returning to the Carter household, Ollie and Abi are both playing happily together as they wind down after their photoshoot. Linda is sat with Max as they look over the photographs they've taken. This scene did get me a little worried as I sensed something, once again, was going to happen between the two. Max brings up the fact that he's trying to be supportive to Linda considering he was with her the last time she had a drink, he doesn't want her to feel that she's got no one to talk to, but regardless of them spending time together, he admits that he knows that she and Mick are solid. It's then Linda seems to look upset and reveals to Max that things haven't exactly been brilliant between them recently, she explains that each time she tries she feels she's just pushing him further and further away. Perhaps this is why she's been enjoying Max's company so much, it's made her feel something again - I mean when was the last time, Mick and Linda actually had a laugh with each other and showed each other some affection? It's been a long time, hasn't it?! Max seems to understand but he makes the big confession that the only reason he kissed her a while back is because he wanted to, and more interestingly, he stills wants to! Things are looking as if they are going to pounce on each other, however Ollie breaks the silence as he asks for his Mummy. As Linda goes to see her to son, Max suggests that they make another play date for their children, to which Linda coldly responds by saying she'll text him.

Back at the Slater household, Kat answers her mobile which is ringing on the kitchen table, it appears to be Stacey on the other end. She informs her cousin that she's been desperately trying to search for her boyfriend but can't find him anywhere. Suddenly, there's a knock on the backdoor and Kat is surprised to see Whitney stood there. It's then Whitney announces that there's something she needs to show her, pretty urgently and they both leave the house together. Meanwhile in the Vic, Ian is feeling positive about his interview with the newspaper, even though he is looking incredibly happy with himself, the fella from the newspaper seems less than impressed as he downs his bottle of beer. Across the bar, both Callum and Ben are trying to talk about something other than the robbery. Oh but just by coincidence, as soon as Ben questions whether Callum can trace who dialled the 999 call, Ian is stood behind the bar ear-wigging on their conversation. However Callum is unsure whether the call will be able to be traced, but then again the only thing they'll find out is that it was made from a telephone box. Maybe Ian did a clever thing for once and made sure he dialled from a phone box and not a mobile phone, that way it would be harder for them to trace?! Suddenly Tina enters the Vic and makes her way toward the bloke from the newspaper. Ooooh I'm liking the look of this!!! She questions whether he's writing an article  about Ian Beale, but the bloke doesn't seem interested if she's going to comment on how much of a aspect to the community he is, but then his attention in instantly grabbed as Tina admits that that is not what's doing, she mentions that if he really wants a story then she has one for him. Ooooh - I'm loving this! Yes! GO TINA!!! Is she going to spill what Iqra has informed her about and portray Ian in a terrible light?! In all seriousness, it's more than what he deserves! Only the downside is, will it fall back onto Iqra and will she get the blame?!

Eventually Kat makes it to what looks like Whitney's attic, she's questioning why Whitney has brought her up there, only as she turns around, Kush is seen sat in the very far corner, almost looking scared and very sheepish. Kat is absolutely elated to find her boyfriend is safe and sound, she announces how worried she's been about him, but Kush is nothing but deeply apologetic for making such a mess of things. He's tries to explain how he thought he would be able to start the car and how things just turned so messy. Kat is just happy to see that Kush is safe, she promises him that they will sort everything out together.

At Ruby's club, Linda is sat alone with a drink, Ruby enters the room carrying a huge box of wine. It looks as if Linda is feeling sorry for herself, she seems very agitated when Ruby politely asks if she's okay. Whether she's waiting for someone or something else. Linda then voices that everyone around her sees her not as Linda anymore, but Linda The Alcoholic! Ruby tries to persuade her that that isn't the case at all, she tries to explain that she has lots of friends and family around her who are just trying to look out for her. She questions whether she should all Mick, but Linda snaps back that he isn't her carer, he's her husband. She also makes sure to point out to Ruby that the drink she's got in her hand is only orange juice, nothing else! But Ruby is quick to throw in one last dig, she knows that she's drinking a soft drink, as she explains that all her staff have a list of who not to serve alcohol to, and it turns out that Linda's name is right at the very top of that list! Honestly, that's a bit of a big insult, I think that would hurt anyone really wouldn't it?! As Ruby leaves the room, Linda takes it upon herself to approach the box of wine which she's left at the bar and swipes a bottle before leaving. Once she's home, she's sat alone with the bottle and a glass already poured, to me it looks like that she really can't take Mick's behaviour anymore, she's feeling lonely, unwanted and maybe also missing her husband as well as missing their happiness and intimacy. She attempts to call him but to no avail as it the dial tone rings dead, I did fear at this point that she was going to take a big gulp of wine. She brings the glass up to her face and she gently smells the wine, she then plonks the glass back down and dials another number - Max! She agrees to go along with the playdate for the children for the following day, but something else is telling me, is she doing it for the company. If Mick isn't around then why not have Max's attention. I do thing as things go on, something will happen between the two, what do you think? Feeling a little more relieved she gets up and throws the glass of wine and the bottle down the sink!

A very interesting episode I have to say, some very interesting things taking place, I mean I do feel a lot of it will come to some form of explosion within the next few days. I do feel that all this that's happening right now will be the drama that's all going to explode coming towards Christmas! Christmas is only a month away and it's not going to be long now until huge secrets are revelled and big bombshells are going to be dropped. EastEnders is always explosive at Christmas, right?! I, for one, am incredibly excited to see it all unfold! Thank you all for reading, I'll be back again tomorrow with another blog. Enjoy the rest of your evening folks! Love you all xXx