#I know life is unfair and acknowledge that I’m the first to do so

[kavehater]

Truthfully it would be easier if I just isolate myself from everyone simply because after so long of just shoving things down and being told to shove things down and being told to get over it and stop being sensitive I’ve become so much more sensitive after being so unfeeling and it’s ruining everything

Not even having aventurine could fix this 😔🙏 LOLLL

[nezuscribe]

gojo never imagined an arrange marriage with you, but now you’re all he can think about.

he thinks about you when he’s training, when he’s seated at his round table, when he’s in his bed, everywhere, every time, you’re all he can think about.

and you’re oblivious to it.

you heard the gossip everywhere you walked, about the girl gojo was pleading with his family to marry. how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how much more elegant she was compared to you. you knew you were never his first choice, not even his fifth, but it hurt even more when everybody acknowledged it.

you stopped wearing your wedding ring, started acting like you were just another person there. luckily gojo didn’t seem to be in any hurry about making heirs, so pretending like you two were working things out didn’t even matter anymore.

you find yourself alone most of the time. your maids were kind and patient, but they had so many things to do throughout the day that you felt awful pestering them to walk around the estate with you.

eating dinners with gojo became normal, but most of your other meals were in silence, always feeling like a speck of dust in the large dining hall.

one day when you’re walking around aimlessly you stumble across the training grounds, the open space below you filled with men swinging wooden swords back and forth at each other.

it wasn’t difficult to find your husband, his white hair hard to miss in a crowd of others. he didn’t notice you watching from above, and so you stayed hidden, not knowing if the men were picky with who watched them.

he was swift and agile. everything he did was precise and with meaning. no wonder he was named the best warrior of the north.

you found this to be more entertaining than walking around the gardens for the tenth time or watching the cooks assemble the next meal, so you didn’t even notice how gojo looked up to see you, somehow slipping away without you knowing.

you were in a state of watching but not really thinking, almost jumping out of your skin when you heard his voice behind you.

“didn’t know i had an audience,”

you yelp, flinching as you look behind you to see your husband all sweaty, panting slightly as he moves his hair away from his face. you eye the stairs that led him up here, wondering how you could’ve missed that.

you laugh sheepishly, giving him an apologetic smile as you pick are your nails.

“i’m sorry,” you scratch behind your ears, feeling heat rise to your cheeks under his intense gaze. it’s unfair how pretty somebody can look, especially after training for an hour straight, “i was just walking around and i saw this.”

he waved it off, shaking his head as he leaned his sword on the wall.

“not a problem,” his eyes shine, “i just would’ve tried harder if i knew my wife was watching.”

my wife.

the words fall so smoothly from his lips you wonder how many times he’s said it before. with malice, hatred, necessity?

you smile a little bit, eyes crinkling around the edges as you look away briefly, not noticing the way gojo chased after your cheerful face.

“how’d you get up here? where are your ladies?” he asks suddenly, looking around at the fact that it was just you up here.

“my what?” you say, looking up at him through furrowed brows.

“you know,” he waves his arm around as if that would help, “you’re ladies in waiting,”

you scrunch up your nose a little bit, something he noticed you did when you were confused.

“oh, well, my maids are working right now,” you tell him, noting that he still didn’t look any less confused.

“no, not your maids, your ladies,” he tilts his head to the side, “the girls your family sent them up to help you around.”

you stare at him, unblinking.

“the girls that are your friends, the ones that help accustom you…” gojo trials off when he realizes he’s not getting anywhere with you.

you feel even more embarrassed than when he caught you watching him, hating the way you were clueless at yet another thing in this life that no one explained to you.

“the girls you hang around with?” he finally lands on, hoping this jogs your memory.

you shake your head, eyes wide as you fidget with the fabric of your dress. his eyes fall onto your finger, lingering on the fact that you’re not wearing your ring.

“who do you spend your time with throughout the day?” gojo seems even more lost than you. he’s seen you with…? well surely that one time…?

“by,” you swallow, embarrassed, “by myself. i walk around a lot.” you admit sheepishly.

“your family didn’t send…?” he answers his own question with his silence.

this entire time you’ve been alone?

he opens his mouth to speak but somebody beats him to it.

“satoru! get down here! we’re still not done!” his friends shouts from below, and you look over your shoulder to see all the men staring at the two of you.

gojo stares at you, unblinking.

“i,” he swallows but can’t find any words.

you can’t either.

he leaves you there, running down those stairs as he shouts at the other guys to resume what they were doing. that entire day he was off his balance because he kept looking up to see you there, but you weren’t.

maybe you were just walking around, like you said.

[morphean42]

Rewatching Falsettos I was suddenly struck by an epiphany that I’m sure someone else has had at some point, but I needed to write out. This ending scene from “March of the Falsettos” jumped out at me from the first watching, but even though I recognised the nod to the “See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil (and lesser known do no evil)”, I didn’t know what it meant. Today, I tried to piece it together, and I think I’ve gotten it. These poses represent core attributes of the characters, as well as Trina’s view of them, so click the read more to hear the ravings of a mad man wayyyyyy too obsessed with this show

The idea of ‘evil’ to me is very loose. It can represent a lot of things for these characters; their actions towards each other, their character flaws, etc. But, for this analysis, one can replace ‘evil’ with ‘truth’. Each of the characters refuses to see, speak, hear, or ‘do’ the truth (please excuse the lack of grammar for that last one), and that is where the ‘evil’ stems from. Taking into account this is mostly based on Trina’s view of the men, I think ‘truth’ fits in well.

Let’s start with the one who fits in least— Jason. “March of the Falsettos” is a physical manifestation of how Trina views the men in her life (as childish and immature), but some slack is given to her son. He doesn’t sing his lines in falsetto, because we acknowledge he is in fact a child, and has more of an excuse to act as such. So, take his analysis with a grain of salt. The boy has every right to be a little selfish— he’s 10.

So, Jason has his hands over his eyes, representing ‘See No Evil’. This is a direct nod to his character flaw; his view of the world with him at the center. Although his parents are less than good to him, he still sees them through unfair lenses— ‘My mother’s no wife/My father’s no man’. He sings ‘everybody’s yelling and everybody’s ruining it’ in “Everyone Hates His Parents” because he is unhappy with how his Bar Mitzvah is turning out and wants to simply cancel it. He doesn’t have a concept of doing things for other people (again, he’s a child, I’m not blaming him per se), so he is blind to the will of others and refuses to see their side. In addition to this, even when Mendel tells him Whizzer will most likely die, Jason pleads with G-d to save him. He still views himself as the center of his world, thus Mendel’s line ‘Life’s not all about him’.

In addition to this, his ‘See No Evil’ means something when thought about from Trina’s perspective. She thinks her son is blind to the truth of the world, this son who stays inside playing chess alone, this son who ‘seems like an idiot to [Trina]’. She worries Jason will turn out like these other men in her world, blind to everyone but himself.

Now we come to Mendel, who has his hand over his mouth in ‘Speak No Evil’. Mendel’s flaw throughout the show is his refusal to accept the truth of any situation. He tells Jason to ‘feel alright for the rest of your life’ instead of actually trying to help, he is ‘frightened of questions’, he repeats over and over ‘I’ll make you well’ to Whizzer in the hospital. He will never say anything negative, nor will he allow others to do so. Even in the end of the show, he tells Jason they don’t know ‘when or if’ Whizzer will get better— he is still not accepting that it’s a definite thing. He believes that if he and those around him just don’t speak about the real problems, they’ll go away.

Trina’s view on Mendel is complicated here. In the next song she agrees to marry him, of course, and we know she at least likes him (the most of all three adults she knows). She says that Mendel ‘decides the role to assume’. She looks down on the fact that he can’t speak the truth to her, that he’s expecting this happy wife, this perfect new family. He wants her to play along with him and make their home together, even if she sings ‘liking our lives’ instead of loving. Even if he’s better than Marvin ever was, there’s still an element of control here. Mendel wants this family, and he wants them to all pretend nothing is ever wrong again.

Marvin, our titular character, is in the ‘Hear No Evil’ position. This one is fairly straight forward— he wants control and will never listen to the needs of those around him. He can’t hear what they actually need, he simply does what he wants. He also struggles with his masculinity throughout Act 1, his outward misogyny and need for the nuclear family (his treatment of Trina and Whizzer), so he imagines himself at the top of his family system. He will never take any other opinions, or counsel, in his decisions, seeing that as weakness. He’s similar to Jason in this regard, as he only hears what he wants to (like Jason only sees what he wants). He ignores the pain around him to pursue his own desires, he covers his ears and moves on.

Trina, of course, despises Marvin at this point in the show. Her subconscious showing Marvin in ‘Hear No Evil’ can tell us a lot about their relationship, how she was never seen as equal in decisions. Marvin always put her to the side, not listening to her needs, acting without thinking of her.

Whizzer is complicated. I’ve seen people laugh at his pose before, saying we’ve got ‘See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, and Gay’, but I think he represents the ‘Do No Evil’. This final character is not often seen with the other three, and can be depicted with arms over the chest or covering the genitals. It wouldn’t make sense to have Whizzer be the outlier (especially because the fourth depiction of evil does exist), so I’m assuming he is supposed to be ‘Do No Evil’.

This fits in well with Whizzer’s flaws throughout the show. He doesn’t accept responsibility for his relationship with Marvin; seen in the lines ‘I’m not responsible’ during “Late For Dinner” or ‘I will not accept blame’ in “Games I Play”. He sleeps around, despite Marvin wanting monogamy, and clearly did not have an issue hooking up with a married man. Whizzer fundamentally doesn’t think his actions have consequences, he believes he has done nothing wrong (he has done no evil). Whizzer also has a hard time admitting to his love for Marvin. He says it ‘depends on the day’, he flat out says ‘no’ when asked if he loves him. He doesn’t want to show his love for fear of being too vulnerable, so he hides and doesn’t do anything about it.

To take this even further, him being ‘Do No Evil’ can represent his later question of ‘why me of all men’ when he is dying. He hasn’t done anything to deserve his death, and ‘all men get what they deserve’, right?

Moving on to how Trina sees Whizzer. He’s come into her life and ruined her marriage, though she ‘wants to hate him’ she can’t. She views him as the cause of her recent hardships, his actions being to blame. He is ‘Do No Evil’ to her because he has done evil in taking Marvin away (though it is obvious Trina is better off because of it). He has upset the careful balance of her world by breaking down the lies of her marriage and exposing the truth— Marvin never loved her, could never love her. She puts him in ‘Do No Evil’ because what he has done is what the rest of the men won’t— see, hear, speak the truth even at the detriment of her family.

Another way to view this is, of course, the fact that ‘Do No Evil’ is rarely seen with the others. Trina is separating Whizzer from the other men, not putting him in the same category as the rest of the ‘family’. He views himself as an outsider as well, yes he’s part of the group, but only as a technicality. Only as Marvin’s lover. Once he leaves Marvin, he is easily taken out of the equation and the remaining three do not feel the loss.

My conclusion is such: Each of the poses our men do represents the character flaw they must overcome throughout the show, as well as how Trina views them in her mind. I really hope this made any sort of sense, and if someone has already said all of this well… I guess it can’t hurt to be thorough.

I’m way too tired to read through this again so if there are spelling mistakes please print out this post, correct it in red pen, and send it to me by carrier pigeon.

[strawberryjimin13]

MIDNIGHT WHISPERS | JEON JUNGKOOK ᯓ★

— Synopsis: On a cold night by the Han River, you confront your deepest despair, only to find solace and hope through the comforting presence of your boyfriend, Jungkook.

— Pairing: Jungkook x reader

— Genre: pure fluff, tiny angst, comfort, drabble, established!relationship

— Warnings: Tiny angst, unhealthy communication with parents, self-doubt, reader being terrible with emotions and opening up :’)

— Word count: 1.4k

— English is not my first language so I apologise in advance for any mistakes or typos!

The leaves shook lightly in the chilly night air. Everything was so quiet and still that it almost felt like time was frozen. Gazing into the sky, standing next to the Han River, you shivered slightly at the unforgiving cold.

“I shouldn’t be out this late,” you thought to yourself. It wasn’t safe to venture out at this hour, and you knew better than anyone the risks of being in an empty place with no one around to hear or see. The world felt cruel and unfair. For a moment, you just wanted to forget everything plaguing your mind. You wanted to forget about the argument you had with your parents, how you felt tired of all your efforts going unappreciated. The only thought in your head was to take a leap into the river and end all your miseries, washing away your existence.

Your hands gripped the railing tightly as you closed your eyes, trying to stop the tears from escaping and taking deep breaths to soothe the burning pain in your throat. “This is so stupid,” you thought again. Deep down, you knew it wasn’t. Years of repressing your emotions had led you to not even acknowledge them anymore, but how long could you keep up that facade? How long until the dam broke, and all hell broke loose?

You sniffled and wiped your eyes before pulling your hoodie sleeves down to warm your hands. It was colder than usual, and you had forgotten how unforgiving the cold air could be. Shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you straightened up, deciding to return home for the time being.

As you turned around, a yelp escaped your mouth unconsciously as you saw a hooded figure of a man in a leather jacket walking towards you. Panic set in, and you thought about how this was what you got for being out so late. It was half past one in the morning. You contemplated your next course of action, but before you could do anything, the hooded figure removed the hood, and the biggest sigh of relief escaped you.

You placed a hand over your chest to calm your thrumming heart. “You scared me! Oh my God! I was this close to just jumping into the river, Jungkook!” you yelled.

A little giggle escaped Jungkook. “I’m sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to scare you. It completely slipped my mind how suspicious the hoodie looks,” he said, looking apologetic.

“I just saw my life flash before my eyes,” you replied, for a moment completely forgetting about your previous dilemmas. Jungkook had that effect on you, making all your worries seem insignificant. His silly antics and comforting presence made you feel free of all responsibilities, a feeling you didn’t want to let go of.

“Your mom called me, worried that she couldn’t reach you. I told her you were sleeping at my place to calm her down, but Y/N, you had me worried too… Disappearing this late at night? Are you out of your mind? I’m just glad your location wasn’t turned off so I could find you” Jungkook gently scolded you, his words laced with heavy emotions that let you know he was aware of your inner turmoil.

“Just know that whenever you are ready to open up, I will always be here for you as a boyfriend but more importantly as a friend,” he offered you a small understanding smile. Something in you snapped, and the next thing you knew, you were crying into his chest, gripping his shirt as if he would dissipate into thin air if you let go. Jungkook was shocked at first but didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around you. It broke his heart to see you in such a state. He knew you as a strong person who always pulled through tough times. He had seen you do it countless times, yet he also understood that everyone has their flaws. For you, it was the struggle with sharing or processing your emotions, often leading to outbursts like this.

Your crying slowed, and eventually, you were barely sniffling. You rested your head against Jungkook’s heart, letting the rhythm calm you down while still holding him in a tight grip. “I feel like a failure,” you whispered so lightly that Jungkook would have missed it if not for the quiet atmosphere.

“Why do you say that?” he replied, swallowing a lump in his throat, trying to keep his own tears at bay. Seeing you in distress made him emotional too, but right now, you needed him.

“I think I disappointed my parents again. I feel like no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to make them happy. They struggled a lot for me, so it makes me feel guilty when I can’t reach their expectations,” you confided in him. Ah, your parents again, Jungkook thought. He understood now why you were more upset than usual. Jungkook thought your parents were lovely, but they were stern with studies and job-related matters, often setting their expectations too high.

Jungkook thought long and hard before concluding. “I… don’t know how to put my thoughts into words,” he started. “However, I think it’s time you prioritize yourself for once,” he continued before pausing. His hand reached out and grabbed your cheek, making you look at him. For a moment, he was mesmerized by you. He brushed back your hair, taking in the sight of your pink ears and nose from the cold, your eyes holding back tears, and your lips bruised from biting them. He broke free from his trance when you tilted your head slightly, questioning his sudden pause.

“I think you should focus on healing yourself and building a healthy relationship with your parents because I know you care about them.” Jungkook finished. For a second, you were taken aback, but you understood his sincere intent. He was right, you thought. You couldn’t keep living in this repetitive cycle, and you couldn’t imagine how tiring it was for Jungkook. Realizing this made you incredibly happy to have someone so patient and loving by your side.

“And don’t forget that I will be by your side through it all. You aren’t alone. We can work on a healthy communication method with your parents. They do care, but they are just as terrible with emotions,” he giggled, making you blush and smack his arm.

Taking a deep breath, you said, “Okay… I will focus on myself. I want to heal too. Maybe starting with therapy?” you asked, looking at Jungkook.

“Oh yes! That is a wonderful idea! We must start from somewhere, right? I’m glad you’re willing to take the step” he said, beaming with joy. Watching him smile warmed your heart, reaffirming that you were making the right decision.

“I would love that,” you whispered back while laying your head on his chest. You stayed there for a while, basking in your lover's embrace, feeling a calmness wash over you. If you could, you would spend an eternity wrapped up in his warmth.

But alas the moment had to come to an end, as the night got colder, Jungkook decided it was best to return to either one of your apartments. He couldn’t risk you getting sick. You already looked spent emotionally and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel even worse the next day. He slowly and gently pulled your face from his chest and cradled your cheeks in his hands, the signs of your crying were still there in the form of your swollen eyes, but you seemed fine now having let your emotions out.

He leans forward and places the gentlest kiss on your lips, as if anything harder than that would break you and you reciprocate his actions. He pulls away but keeps his forehead on yours, his eyes closed. “We should get home. It’s late and cold and I hate this weather. It makes my nose all stuffy” he says, and a giggle escapes your mouth at his cuteness.

Without saying anything you slide your hand into his giving him the green light to lead the way and as you walked back to Jungkook’s car, you knew that this night, under the chilly sky by the Han River, would be a turning point for the better for the better.

© strawberryjimin13 - all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[yoursweetwife]

omg… ur dr ratio idea… i’m eating up that angst,,

just thinking about how it’ll cause a rift in their relationship. he feels so inferior to his lover. to watch someone else (who might not even be trying to pursue knowledge) gain acknowledgment from nous, when all of his life he’s been vying for a place in the genius society, makes him feel so conflicted.

he loves them dearly, but he can’t help what he’s feeling. it’s soul-crushing, and he can no longer look at them the same way. their words of comfort are lost on him when he knows that they’ve got potential to join the genius society.

ooh but what could impact him even more is the fact that his lover refuses. they don’t want to take a part in the genius society. 2 ways:

rejecting because they really aren’t bothered about the pursuit of knowledge, nor are they bothered about nous’ acknowledgment. this infuriates ratio further — they had a chance to meet nous, ask a question, be part of the elites — and yet they refused? he’s baffled, irritated and just heavily conflicted on how to feel about you.

rejecting because they feel it’s unfair to ratio, but perhaps to make a point? they explain to ratio that value in oneself doesn’t need to proved to another, that his knowledge is very much enough and maybe comfort him — show that his achievements have merit, tell him that they don’t care about anyone else’s acknowledgement but his. very fluffy. he can react in either way — touched that his lover would refuse something so great, just for him, or be infuriated and baffled like the idea above.

maybe an argument ensues. and again, that argument could end in two ways, depending if you want it to be angsty or not hehe— dr. ratio is angry at first, but melts into your arms, so surprisingly vulnerable as he tells you of his sorrows and insecurities of not being able to join the society. OR it’s a REALLY big argument… and angst ensues….

anyway yeah, good idea. great idea. i love angst so much.

Yeees Ratio will have mixed emotions after this incident. What do you mean they don't want to join the genius society? This is a unique opportunity that only an idiot would refuse. It seems to me that he really believed then that the genius Society was something wonderful that only the best deserved.

The moment Ratio learns of [name]'s decision to refuse the invitation, he becomes even more disappointed. Even words of love will not calm him down. And because of the accumulated disappointment, he will flare up and a quarrel will begin, several offensive words will fly towards his lover, and before he realizes what he said, [name] leaves him alone. This will increase the distance between them. But Veritas will remain a stubborn jerk who will never be the first to apologize. In the end, everything could turn into a breakup, because [name] will no longer be able to tolerate Ratio’s behavior, which at that moment resembled an offended child.

Or things could end more smoothly. Ratio decides to give in to his feelings, he sees that [name] sincerely loves him, an understanding comes to him, biggest loss for him is not the rejection of the genius society and not how Nous ignores him, but his beloved, who always supported and inspired him. And when Ratio hears that [name] refused his invitation, he will not be able to contain his emotions, leading to a touching moment between the two of them. However, he will be left with a little disappointment and self-doubt, but at least the [name] is there to help him deal with it.

It's quite difficult to choose between these two options, I love angst and fluff omg

[revehae]

two days ago, this blog turned two years old. well, that’s if you ignore the fact that i accidentally deleted my blogs this january. in spite of that, so many of you are still here with me and have been supportive even when i was quite literally losing my marbles. you guys have been patient through my periods of inactivity and reread my fics with the same amount of appreciation for them as you had the first read - if not more. and for that, i say thank you.

but i’m also saying goodbye.

just kidding! i was being serious for too long and so i felt the need to potentially strike some fear into someone’s heart for fun. anywho, no, i’m not actually leaving. not yet, anyway. there is so much more i want to do with this blog and so many ideas i want to share that will most likely carry on to the following year. so yeah, you guys are still stuck with me.

am i taking the two-year anniversary of a mostly k-pop tumblr blog teeming with dark, degenerate fantasies that ought to get me stoned by stubby, hairy ogres way too seriously? perhaps. but i’ll never forget what this blog means to me. i’m in a place now where my trauma is no longer something i feel suffocated by or bound to, but when i created this blog, i admit that there were still large parts of me that felt like i was “broken.” this was only possible because i found safe places where i could acknowledge it without fear of being judged, blamed, or attacked.

i realize not everyone has those places. one of the greatest delights i have is being able to own a blog where people with similar experiences as me are able to confront their pain in a way that makes them feel safe, comfortable, and most importantly, in control.

i went through periods of time where i wouldn’t even leave my room because i was so terrified of being subjected to the same nightmare again. i couldn’t go out in public, because when i did, i was constantly worried that someone was out to give me. this affected my relationships with my friends, family, myself, sex, the world - everything. it is a hell i wouldn’t even wish on Trumpington McDonaldton. or would i? just kidding. not really, considering his track record. but, back to the point, i know what it’s like to live in the dark. i know how unfair it is that someone can swoop in, ruin your life, and never, ever face consequences. meanwhile, you are staring at the consequences of what someone else did every single day. i know what it’s like to blame yourself. i know what it’s like to wish that things were different.

but i also know that as unfair as it is, as painful as it is, and as hard as it may be to accept, no one is going to single-handedly fix you. you have to be your own healer. you have to put the work in to build yourself back up and bounce back stronger than ever. i know firsthand how intimidating that can be, however, in my experience, the first step was not hiding from what i’d gone through. in a way that i originally never thought would be possible, writing and reading noncon fics was one of the most helpful ways of doing that. everything about this blog has been extremely cathartic for me. and the best part about it is that many of you have told me it’s cathartic for you as well, which fills me with a glee words cannot describe.

now, of course, my blog is not limited to Traumatized Individuals who had their brains rewired in the worst way possible via some negative experience - although i doubt you’re not still somehow traumatized if you religiously read my content. if you aren’t a victim of SA, you aren’t going to be crucified for reading noncon. it’s okay. don’t worry. but still, i will always support and stand up for those that are, even if they don’t cope in the same way as me. because not reading is also okay. there are so many different ways to cope with SA; i’m just happy to provide one of them to those that seek it out.

again, thank you all! thank you to those that have been here since the beginning. thank you to those that followed me this week. thank you to those who leave nice messages in my inbox, and reblog, and leave comments. thank you to my dearest sweet mutuals. thank you to those who followed me here from lisired and didn’t unfollow me when you realized i’m a little bit insane. thank you to those that read my fics over and over and never get bored! let’s heal together everyone. but let’s also be depraved and Scare The Hoes. and if you read all of this, i love you and i hope you get everything you ever wanted in life.

- with all of the love in the world, revehae!

[cryscendo]

prompt 17 with hevans? –hevanderson

so i am terribly sorry that this has taken so long to get to you. i had been in a writing lull for awhile and then i had giftober which ate up a huge chunk of like a month and a half. but its here now and i can always count on @hevanderson to request hevans when i need it most <3

i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it!

Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Sam Evans

Rating: G

Word Count: 1812

Prompt: 17 - things you said that i wish you hadn’t

fic can be read below the cut or found on ao3 here <3

“Dude, you really suck at this.”

“Oh, come on, bro, you can’t tell me that was fair!” Finn argued, gesturing towards the screen animatedly. “You can’t trick the player into falling into a trap by putting a treasure there!”

Before Sam could get a response in, Kurt had exited his room and was now leaning over the back of the couch. “Why are you yelling?” He questioned, looking mildly annoyed. To be fair, though, Sam had found that Kurt frequently looked mildly annoyed when it came to Finn.

“‘Cause this game’s unfair!”

“You can’t be mad when you fell for the trap, man,” Sam reasoned. Finn, however, did not seem to share the same opinion.

“Whatever,” Finn sulked, “Game’s dumb anyway.”

Kurt hummed behind them. “Right. Hey, Finn, don’t you have a date with Rachel at 7:30 tonight?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because it’s 7:15 now,” Kurt stated, showing Finn the time on his phone screen. “And I tell you this, not as a stepbrother who loves you, but as someone who doesn’t want to hear Rachel Berry bitch about her love life later.”

“Shit.” Finn stood up immediately, tossing his controller on the couch and grabbing his keys off the counter. “Gotta go. We’ll play more later, ‘kay?”

“Sounds good,” Sam agreed easily. He could see how upsetting Rachel could be a dangerous game. He would certainly not like to be on the receiving end of that tirade. And he also had no doubt in his mind that Kurt would be the first person Rachel would complain to about it.

“Sorry to interrupt your guy-time. I’m sure I impeded on the time-honored tradition of ‘bros before hoes’, but I had to protect my own peace.”

“Nah, you didn’t interrupt anything,” Sam replied in reassurance. He then picked up the controller that Finn tossed down on the couch and shook it a bit. “Wanna play?”

“I don’t really play games,” Kurt confessed, but even then, he rounded the couch so that he could sit down next to Sam. He brought his feet to tuck neatly beneath him as he got comfortable. “It looks hard.”

“It’s not hard, Finn’s just terrible. Here.” Sam handed Kurt the Playstation controller, demonstrating the controls using the controller in his own hands. “X is jump and square is attack,” he explained, showing the different moves on the screen. “Oh, and right trigger is run! You’ll probably want to know that too.”

Kurt hummed in acknowledgement, repeating the moves that Sam was showing him using his own character.

They fell into relative silence after that, only occasionally interrupted when Sam decided to point out a particular feature of the game or when Kurt asked a question. For never having played video games much in his past, Kurt wasn’t half bad. He picked up on the mechanics well enough and he was comparable to Finn (which said something about Finn’s ability to play Rayman Legends).

It was only after several minutes of admittedly rather comfortable silence did Sam finally decide to speak up. “Y’know, I never get to see you ‘round here much anymore. I kinda miss it,” he admitted, still paying attention to the screen.

Sam felt Kurt give him a strange look, but he didn’t take his eyes off the screen to meet it. “What do you mean?” He asked, his character stopping in its tracks as Kurt stopped playing.

Sam gave a shrug, a bit unsure himself why the words were coming out of his mouth suddenly. “Ever since you got that boyfriend, Blaine,” he enunciated a bit cheekily, “you just haven’t spent as much time at home.” Blaine was a nice guy, Sam thought, but he didn’t really know him all that well yet. If anything, Blaine seemed to have trouble integrating himself into McKinley. Sam could relate to that to a certain degree.

Kurt hummed in response. “Relationships make you busy. You of all people should know that,” he acknowledged, clearly making a harmless dig at Sam. He wasn’t wrong, of course. Sam rarely seemed to find himself remaining single for very long at any given point.

“Even too busy for me?” Sam teased, batting his eyes at Kurt before returning his attention to the game. Kurt wasn’t really playing much anymore, but it wasn’t too unlike having to carry Finn through levels so he didn’t really think much of it.

“Too busy for everyone, I’m afraid,” Kurt clarified. The weight of Kurt’s gaze never left him as he continued to navigate through the level. It was starting to feel heavier with each passing moment, but Sam did his best to maintain his easy composure. “Since when did you care so much about that?”

It was then that Sam finally paused the game, setting the controller on the coffee table. When he turned to finally direct his full attention towards Kurt, he noted that his friend’s own controller was also abandoned, left on the couch between them as Kurt instead leaned his arm against the back of the couch so that could prop his head up in his palm.

“I dunno,” Sam admitted, “guess it’s because you’re my friend.”

“Hmm,” was all that Kurt responded with. He looked back towards the television screen, allowing several quiet moments to pass just staring at the game’s pause screen. Sam had just begun to wonder if Kurt was going to say anything more when he finally picked the controller back up. “Go ahead and unpause it.”

Sam did as he was instructed, happily picking up his own controller once again and resuming their game.

Kurt was putting in effort once again. He wasn’t by any means a fantastic player or anything, but he held his own well enough. Even then, though, Sam could sense that something was tugging at Kurt’s focus — like he wanted to say something more but simply couldn’t.

Either that, or he was waiting for Sam to say something instead.

Well, in that case, Sam may as well rip off the bandage.

“Remember when we almost sang a duet together?” He asked suddenly, disrupting the quiet that had fallen between them.

Kurt didn’t respond for some time, the thick silence suddenly uncomfortable. Sam wondered, momentarily, if Kurt just hadn’t heard him. He was about ready to repeat his question once more when Kurt finally spoke up.

“Well, I’d say it’s pretty hard to forget,” he drew out, slowly. “I had a terribly obvious crush on you. It’s embarrassing to think about in retrospect.”

“Nah, don’t say that! It’s super flattering that a gay guy found me attractive.”

Kurt dispelled a soft breath that sounded like it came from a place of mild exasperation. “Thanks, Sam. I’m thrilled to know that my humiliating forwardness came with the added bonus of a boost to your ego.” Sam couldn’t help but grin at Kurt’s words. His friend had such a consistent, natural humor about him. It was easy to see why Blaine was so in love with him. “Finn was probably right about getting me to back out of the duet for you, though — even if I was mad at him at the time.”

Sam shrugged then. “I dunno about that. I kinda wish you hadn’t.”

Kurt’s character went to a complete stop on the screen and Sam could immediately feel the weight of Kurt’s eyes on him. “What do you mean by that?”

Sam went silent then, pretending to focus on collecting in-game treasure, though he would be lying if he tried to say that he was really in tune with what was happening on the screen before him anymore. Kurt must’ve picked up on it as well, for he paused the game for the both of them and set the controller down on the coffee table. “Sam? You can’t just leave me hanging. So come on, what did you mean by that?”

“I mean, I think I would’ve liked to do that duet with you.”

“What about the whole school potentially thinking you were gay? Wasn’t that like, a huge issue?”

“Maybe to Finn, it was. I never cared, personally. I think that it would’ve been cool. Plus there’s like, way bigger issues than two guys singing a duet together. Like, global warming. Or the fact that Terminator: Salvation didn’t feature Arnold Schwarzeneggar, which kinda worries me for the future of the entire franchise.”

That pulled a smile out of Kurt, which Sam always liked to see. Kurt spent a large portion of his time in high school seemingly pretty unhappy. Sam could recognize why, though — what with being the only gay kid in school and dealing with bullies as well always being overlooked in glee club, it made sense that those things would eventually get to Kurt. And it wasn’t really fair, because Kurt was so nice and caring. He didn’t deserve everything that’s happened to him.

“Point is, you didn’t have to ‘set me free’ or whatever it was that you were doing. I agreed to do the duet because I wanted to, y’know? I thought you were talented, that’s all there really was to it.”

Kurt hummed, momentarily averting his gaze as if in thought. Sam had come to realize that Kurt was a thinker. He liked that about him. It was clear that Kurt tried to choose his words carefully rather than just blurt out the first thing that came to mind. Sam should really consider picking up that habit sometime.

Eventually though, Kurt looked back at him, his expression inquisitive. “Where is this all coming from?” He asked.

To that, Sam didn’t have much of an answer. He had wanted to tell Kurt these things for awhile, he figured, but he was largely unsure why it was coming to the surface now.

He could dive deeper, but it would only cause complications. Sam liked Kurt, but he didn’t think it extended anywhere past a friendship. Or perhaps it did. But either way, Sam had never put much thought into his own identity before, and he didn’t think that sitting with Kurt on the couch in front of the Rayman Legends pause screen was the time to finally do so. Kurt had a boyfriend; one that is clearly enamored with him so it was best to stay out of the way of that.

Sam shrugged. “Just something I’ve been thinking about, I guess.”

With that, Sam stood from the sofa to instead crouch down near the Hudson-Hummel’s collection of game consoles. They could talk about that, but not today. Probably not tomorrow either. But someday, surely they would talk about that.

“Let’s play a different game, shall we?” He could feel the strange look that Kurt was giving him, but he ignored it. Instead, Sam sorted through the shelf of games before pulling one from its spot and waved it around a bit. “How do you feel about trying Mario Galaxy?”

[persephoneprice]

lily, please elaborate on your clemmie and lyssie post 😔🙏🏽

i know i did this to myself but i’m actually nervous to write this out because i don’t think anyone is going to agree with me but here i go!

before i start- i do want to clarify that i love both characters and this is in no way me hating on clemmie or implying that lysistrata is perfect! clemmie is miles ahead in terms of being caring versus her peers.

however, i do not see clemensia as a truly good, kind person. (again, this is all my personal interpretation and i could be way off!)

a few things stick out to me about clemensia that make me feel this way (pre-snake bite, obviously! def unfair to hold post snake-bite against her).

the first example is when they are discussing how to force people to watch the games.

clemensia says-

“The real problem is, it’s sickening to watch”

lysistrata says-

“Most of us don’t want to watch other people suffer.”

to me, i see this as lysistrata acknowledging and putting focus on the children suffering- where clemmie focuses mainly on how it makes her feel to watch.

clemensia also talks about her first meeting with reaper-

“Mine wouldn’t speak. Not a word”

not horrible by any means- but it still feels lacking in empathy (and not great that she referred to reaper as ‘hers’).

another example that comes to mind is when clemmie and coriolanus are discussing the games after arachne death and she says this-

“Yes, or make them Avoxes, or something,” said Clemensia. “It’s awful, but not as bad as the arena. I mean, I’d rather be alive without a tongue than dead, wouldn’t you?”

this isn’t a bad thing necessarily! but to me, i see it as misguided and failing to actually put herself in the shoes of these children and sort of failing to have genuine empathy.

another example is regarding iphigenia-

“Clemensia had once told Coriolanus it was the only revenge she could take on her father, but refused to give any more details.”

again, miles ahead of most of her peers because she refused to elaborate further but i believe that exposing that to coriolanus at all was a deeply unkind thing to do.

and then here are some examples where i see lysistrata displaying kindness (though i’m aware that it may be unfair to bring up things lysistrata did during the games bc clem didn’t get the same chance to bond with reaper!)

she makes the effort to help jessup even before he protects her in the bombing-

she’d apparently been working hard to connect with Jessup “I brought you some cream for your neck,”

she is grateful to jessup after he protects her instead of just assuming that her life is worth more. she’s also willing to speak out and tell everyone this despite knowing how people view district citizens.

“She’s going around saying that big, ugly boy from District Twelve protected her by throwing his body over her, but who knows? The Vickers family loves the spotlight.”

it’s also worth noting that coriolanus follows this up by saying he’s never seen a vickers trying to claim the spotlight.

she also says this-

“And who wouldn’t rather be the victor than the defeated?”

“I don’t know that I have much interest in being either,” said Lysistrata.”

which i think is very decent considering she lived through the war just as much as her classmates.

she displays empathy and understanding for dill & reaper when her classmates do not-

“Isn’t he the one who promised to kill all the others?” asked Pup.

“Doesn’t look so tough to me,” said Urban.”

“She’s his district partner,” said Lysistrata. “And she’s almost dead now. Tuberculosis, probably.”

she’s also quick to call out her classmates during the games-

“Like musical chairs,” said Domitia with a pleased look.

“But with people dying,” said Lysistrata.”

when jessup has rabies and is chasing lucy gray-

“If Jessup can’t win, I want Lucy Gray to. That’s what he’d want. And she can’t win if he kills her,” she said. “Which might happen anyway.”

to me, this shows that she has been able to empathize and understand who jessup is as a person.

also while other classmates display anger or frustration at losing the prize she says this-

“Coriolanus could barely hear Lysistrata whisper, “Oh, don’t let him die alone.”

because she cares about jessup. she also sends food to lucy gray directly after that.

and of course there’s this interaction which i think speaks for itself-

“I do.” She took a deep breath. “What I’d like people to know about Jessup is that he was a good person. He threw his body over mine to protect me when the bombs started going off in the arena. It wasn’t even conscious. He did it reflexively. That’s who he was at heart. A protector. I don’t think he would’ve ever won the Games, because he’d have died trying to protect Lucy Gray.”

“Oh, like a dog or something.” Lepidus nodded. “A really good one.”

“No, not like a dog. Like a human being,” said Lysistrata.”

but the fact that she firmly and openly asserted his humanity in front of the entire capitol essentially is massive to me.

and of course there’s the fact that she had been nice to sejanus-

“Snow had invited Festus and Lysistrata to join the party, as they’d liked Sejanus better than most of his classmates and could be counted on to say nice things.”

of course this is all rambling that doesn’t actually answer the question but i feel like it was important to try to explain why i saw them as slightly different.

essentially i think my thoughts on kind vs nice can be summed up by this quote-

Niceness, then, is often expressed through words or gestures, while kindness is often expressed through acts.

and lysistrata proved repeatedly that she is willing to act by speaking up consistently despite how taboo it is in the capitol. whereas i don’t view clemensia as someone who would be as willing to directly assert a district citizens humanity so publicly (again, my own personal interpretation.).

because of this- i believe lysistrata is a lot more likely to get herself in trouble quicker by opening her mouth and sticking up for the district citizens, especially after this experience. whereas i do not think clemensia would be as likely to risk her safety to do so.

[gothra]

I’m so tired of all of the stupid, bad-faith defenses of corsetry, honestly. “It’s like wearing a bra! Corsets were the bras of their time!” They were underwear, but they weren’t the “bras” of their time, because bras are the bras of their time and corsets wrap around your entire torso. And bras TODAY are uncomfortable and they only go on the top half, so how much fun do you think wearing a bra for your stomach and breasts were? Women today are taking off their uncomfortable bras in protest, I imagine that the anti-corset women of the time were probably onto something and not just being weird about it. “Women were able to work comfortably in them for hours!” Okay, I’m sure there were plenty of women who felt more comfortable wearing stomach binding fabric than speaking up about the misogynistic standards of appearance and losing friends or their job. And how do you KNOW they were comfortable? Because they didn’t complain? You’re saying that, because they didn’t do the thing that women are notoriously afraid of doing in an age where the standards for the things that women should say and do were harsher, that means that “most” of them actually liked it? Could it be possible that most of them didn’t want to make trouble? Could it be possible that they simply forced themselves to adapt, much like women do today? There are women who work in stilettos for 8-10 hours a day, gritting their teeth through the pain and pretending it doesn’t hurt, or writing it off as no big deal. Are we going to wave it all away as not really an issue because ‘her shoes were just too tight!’ Or are we going to acknowledge the fact that, like corsets, some things are inherently not designed for comfort and that comfort is a privilege when it comes to these things? Are we going to ignore the fact that there is an issue at the very heart of the design of the product? How could it POSSIBLY be comfortable to have a stiff garment wrapping around your stomach and chest and ribs that you have to wear under layers and layers of clothing? How could it POSSIBLY be comfortable for a woman to walk around all day in a pair of shoes that shorten her calves and numb her toes? If a garment restricts even ONE important facet of a woman’s life (eating, drinking, running, BREATHING DEEPLY, laying down, etc.) then it’s not sustainable as a source of comfort. “All of the fainting and stuff, that’s just from lacing it too tight!” First of all, ignoring the implications of defending a garment that could possibly injure or kill someone if misused, just because the instances where women were mutilating their bodies by wearing their clothes too tight were few, doesn’t mean that suddenly it’s fine to overwrite the other, smaller discomforts. Saying “well, they didn’t always kill people” is a shit defense that begs the question: “why were people designing clothes that even could?”

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to just admit that some stuff of certain eras SUCKED and were bad for women? Why are the women who point out the subjugation of women shunned and called close-minded? Furthermore, do you not trust the words of the women who LIVED in those eras and spoke up against those practices? Why not? Because they were in the minority in an era when being openly disobedient to the social norms resulted in severe backlash? Of course the anti-corset resistance was small, these were a chosen few women who weren’t afraid of the consequences of resistance! Of course every other woman was smiling and working through their suffering. Do you think the ones who weren’t were all crazy crybabies? You trust the words of the women who say what YOU want them to say to defend you so you don’t have to face being misguided or even flat-out wrong! I’m so tired of the idea that pretending that women weren’t victims somehow equals them having actually been more free than we thought.

Saying “women have had to live under unfair and oppressive standards that have severely impacted their health and personhood all throughout history” is not the same as saying “women are weak because they allowed themselves to be subjected to oppression!” You people wonder why feminism doesn’t have teeth or claws, it’s because you disarm and nullify it a bit more every time you uncritically agree with Bernadette Banner. Women shouldn’t even have to wear JEANS THAT ARE TOO FUCKING TIGHT!!!!!

[dropout-if]

Unique - for all the ros, please. i know you did something similar in your 'pick this route if you like xyz'. but in an instory pov, what are unique or individual to them things that they do that makes them stand out [or just are subtle and soft] as a partner?

AAA I was very excited for this one!

U = Unique(What makes them unique as a s/o?)

Jean/Jade is very meticulous. They're a perfectionist, and this translates into their relationships. When J dates someone they're very self-sacrificing in every way, shape and form. This stems from the fact that J is pretty stupid around their feelings lol (everything is rational and everything makes sense, but romance most certainly doesn't).

Uma’s uniqueness might as well be how detail-oriented they are. They also have a great memory (they're going to remember everything about their s/o, the good and the bad). Gift-giving might not be that high up as Uma's love language, but they do love to make sure their partner is appreciated (and to let them know that Uma's been thinking about them). They also give the best gifts🫂💕

For our n.2 self-sacrificing fool, Statler I’m going to choose both their resilience and their self-awareness. Statler is far from being perfect, but they've grown so much as a person since they were a teen. The amount of responsibility Statler carries and how much they love the people around them (taking care of them, being dependable for their sake). It comes with tons of stress (and Statler not being able to fully live their own life), but it's still admirable in a way.

Wanda stands out because of her emotional maturity alone lol (it's something very normal and very valid to ask in a partner, but she's the most emotionally stable out of all the ROs and that deserves to be acknowledged). Wanda rarely gets jealous, she's emotionally expressive, she's not demanding of her partner's time, she's supportive. Where can I find someone like her🧍

Lol Kai is such a mess they're a bit hard to define without spoiling anything. The way they've grown and the way they've viewed the world up to this point has been very unfair, and Kai genuinely doesn't know the first thing about having a healthy relationship. For Kai's unique feature, I'd choose their role in MC's life. They're the RO in whose route MC feels the most free/liberated.

Travis is also unsurprisingly hard to pinpoint. I think his bluntness makes him stand out. Travis' partner will never have to doubt him or his feelings, he's always going to be straightforward with what he believes and thinks. It might not be such a good thing all the time, but it is commendable when all the other ROs lie more often than not (due to various reasons ckskxk).

[igotanidea]

Castle of glass: Frank Castle x fem!reader

my fav @somest1 was in need of hurt/comfort with Punisher so how could I refuse? :D :D

A/N: My first Frank fanfiction so pls, be understanding since he may be a bit ooc.

Summary: Secrets and understatements are relationship killers. And Frank is walking on thin ice with it. In his case, this may be the reason of someone getting phisically hurt.

***

„Frank.”

The only answer was his back turned to her and silent hum, barely audible, almost like a sign he acknowledged her presence, not able to ignore it, but didn’t wish to talk.

“Frank.” She tried again, this time her voice stronger, more confident, yet not enough to make him speak. “Damn it, Castle, answer me, what the hell happened!?

“Nothing you should be worrying about.” He muttered not changing position to face her and his behavior finally made her loose it.

“Nothing…? Nothing I should be worrying about?! Do you even hear yourself, Frank? Your face is all over the news! People are after you!”

“It’s nothing” he insisted

“God damn it, why are you so stubborn?” she circled the room and sat on the carpet in front of him in an attempt to catch his attention, but of course, since he was the Punisher, intimidating, tough and unwavering he did not give up. At least for the first five minutes. “Frank.” She spoke again silently reaching for his hand making him raise head and focus eyes on her face “Come on, tell me. What did you do?”

“Do you trust me?” he asked with that hoarse, a bit shaking voice.

“Frank…..” Y/N eyes looks so pleading, almost begging him to stop playing whatever game this was

“Do you?”

“Of course I do. But…..”

“Then I need you to keep doing that.” He grabbed her hand tighter “Whatever you hear or see I need you to believe me. Do you understand? They will try to play with your mind, break us apart, set you against me. “

“Who….?” Her voice shook a bit “Frank, you are scaring me now….”

“I’m sorry, honey. But I can’t say anything more. It will put you in more danger than…..”

“So I am in danger?”

“I will protect you.” he assured

“Mhm. I’m sure. But who will protect you?”

“I can handle myself.”

“Right. You’ve got enough prove of that on your face and all over your body. Why are you still doing this?”

“I need to set some things straight.”

“I don’t understand a single thing from what you are saying to me.” She stood up abruptly and once again started circling the room in nerves, not able to sit still and look at him, still unfazed. He was so withdrawn and persistent. Always feeling like he had to carry the weight of the world on his shoulder. Torn between not wanting to drag anyone into his mess and yet, ending up making people that cared about him with mixed emotions – stress, fear, anger, pain…..

“I need you to …..”

“Trust you, you said it!” she spat “And I already told you I do! But you are making it nearly impossible for me. I never asked you to change, all right! All I needed from you was honesty.” She sighed deeply, frustrated and feeling betrayed. “Why won’t you keep me in the dark, Frank? Still. We’ve been together for a while now and….”

“And look where it got you!” he raised and took a step towards her, his clenched fists and narrowed eyes making her stumble back. “Look how your life looks like right now! No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try you are still scared!”

“I……”

“What, huh? What?!” he yelled at her not realizing how his emotions were controlling him now

“This is so unfair, Frank.” She sobbed “you are being unfair. And wrong. I am not scared about my life. I am scared about you. I know your past, I know what you did, all that violence and hardheadedness. And I know that other part you are trying to cover up for so much. I know that you care, I know that you are not a monster people portray you like. But it’s so fucking hard to have to discover it all by myself, because you won’t tell me a single thing!”

“I can’t!”

“Of course you can’t! Of course you can’t tell my why you are accused of a shooting in the Hell’s kitchen! I’m sure you can’t explain to me why your former lawyers and my closest friends are calling me asking what the fuck you are doing.”

“Murdock?”

“Yes, Matt and Foggy. Oh, and Karen. She is fairly disappointed in you, let me let you. Not that is bothers you, of course. You are that one person who are stuck so much in your own ways you can’t change them! You’d rather burn than speak!”

“Y/N…..”

“I trust you Frank, I really do. But you are stepping on very, very thin ice right now. And I think I need to be alone for a while. You can go fix whatever mess you got yourself into and ….. possibly find me later.”

“I need you to stay here. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Mhm, sure. See you later Frank” she turned around crossing her arms, the only sound she heard was slamming of the door. Stay here, damn my ass! He is not the boss of me. Y/N clenched her hands and without any more hesitation reached for the phone, dialing familiar number.

“Karen? I got s story and I think I could use your help in pursuit.”

***

“Thanks again for your help, Karen. You are like the only person I could ask for this favor.”

“I know. I would never back down from a good story.”

“The one that can set things straight?” Y/N raised an eyebrow at her blonde friend, unknowingly using the same words Frank choose while speaking to her a few hours later.

“Hey, you help Frank, I help Matt.”

“ So the devil got himself in some trouble as well.”

“Can’t remember the time where he did not.” Karen sighed “the shooting?”

“So you’ve heard…..”

“Y/N, be serious, everyone heard. It’s all over the news.”

“So I guess Matt believed it?”

“No.”

“No?” Y/N frowned. Considering Matt’s character and his relationship with Frank, both in civil and in the other impersonation this was quite surprising .

“No.” Karen shook her head “If anything, he had one of those hunch of his, you know what I mean” Karen rolled her eyes “and despite any rational argument decided to get to the bottom of it. Figure out who was a real perpetrator behind this …. Massacre.” And it got news talking about devil turning to the dark side.”

“This is not good. They are not in the best of terms and if they meet ……”

“They’ll be fine. We saw them working together before.”

“And it got them both bloodied and beaten up.”

“Nothing new, I guess.” The blonde shrugged

“And yet we are here to do exactly the same thing.”

“You are too modest, Y/N. We both know we are way better than both of them combined.”

“I’ll drink to that.” The girls laughed lightly. It was nice to have somewhat humorous approach but deep inside they were aware of the seriousness of the task they were up for.

***

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

Two men were standing on the rooftop in front of each other. A second ago one of them was crouching on the edge, observing the group in the opposite building, but hearing soft landing behind reached for his gun and pointed it towards the other.

“Come on, Frank, I come in peace.” Matt Murdock in his Daredevil gear smirked “if I didn’t know better I would say you are scared.”

“You value yourself too much, Red.”

“And that is coming from you.”

Slowly Matt moved towards Frank and the latter lowered the weapon.

“I believe we have common interests here.”

“I work alone.”

“So do I. But this time ….”

“It’s no different this time.”

“It is.”

“You’re starting to get on my nerves here, Murdock.” Matt did not even bother to reply to that accusation. “I’m gonna ask you once again – why. The hell. Are you. here?”

“I got some bad press.” As if that sentence wasn’t vague enough

“So?”

“I need to clear my name.”

“You mean, devil’s name.” Frank snorted “I never took for the one who cared about reputation.”

“The girls are chasing this story as well.”

“Y/N?” Frank’s heartrate picked up significantly and Matt smirked. They had a fight.

“Alongside with Karen.”

“I told her to …..”

“And she is known for her listening, right? The only way to keep them safe is if we uncover the truth first. You know I’m right.”

“I hate you, Red.”

“What have you got till now?’

Seems like they were about to work together after all.

***

“So there was no suspicious activity in the neighborhood in that time?”  Y/N was interrogating one of the residents in the area with her most doe-like eyes, acting all innocent, like a scared little girl. This was something that always got people soft and talking.

“Sorry, doll. I was watching a football match. Heard nothing due to all my shouting. Can you imagine that this damn team….”

“Thank you so much, sir.” she cut him off  and walked away before he could get the chance to bore her with all the unimportant sport details.

“Anything?” Karen asked when Y/N crossed the street and approached her.

“Nope. Apart from some new knowledge of insects and soccer. You?”

“I may have a lead.”

“Of course you do. I don’t understand how you do that …..”

“Practice” Karen smiled “we will have to go to one of the bad areas.”

“Are there any different ones here, because I don’t think so.”

“But it’s getting dark, we will have to be careful.”

“Tell me something new, Karen. You are the one with the gun in your purse, so I guess I will have to hide behind you if we get in trouble. Now, where do we go?”

***

“Tell us what you know!” Matt and Frank where alternately yelling at the bloodied and almost unconscious man, five or six others defeated on the floor, leaving a gruesome trail of their actions.

“you two truly are pathetic and desperate….” The crime boss known under the alias Gold laughed mockingly “I’m not a snitch. You’ll get nothing from me.”

“I bet we can find a way to ….” Frank put a gun towards Gold’s head almost expecting Matt to stop him, but it never came.

“You assume your little gun can help you, Castle. Funny as it is. I’m not afraid of death….”

“You’re not dying just yet.” Matt hissed “it won’t be so easy……”

***

Karen and Y/N hesitantly approached suspiciously looking dive bar, the feeling of danger amplified by the quietness of the district and by the flicking street lights.

“Karen…..”

“I know……”

“Maybe we should……?”

“But we’ve come so far…..”

“But still, this is way above our level of expertise …….”

“As much as I hate to admit it, you may be right.”

“So, do we?”

“Not so fast you two!” deep voice made two girls froze in the spot. Soon they heard footsteps of many other people around, surrounding them, blocking any way out.

“Shit.” Both girls hissed in unison getting closer to each other in poor attempt to stay calm.

***

 “Will you hurry up, RED?!”

“You are the one who are slowing us down!”

“Shut the fuck up! Y/N is in danger now!”

“So is Karen!”

***

“Sweet, little, pathetic and innocent little girls. You came here looking for trouble or fun?”

“We can give you fun.”

“Even if it’s just going to be such from our point of view.”

Y/N and Karen were captured, taken to the basement and thrown into the middle of it, five criminals watching them like prays. While Y/N decided it would be best to just stay quiet and not give them any satisfaction Karen had a different plan in her head.   

“Are you all responsible for the firefight?”

“Are you a journalist, dearie? You want information? Guess you will have to work harder to get any.”

“I don’t really need them. I already figured out the truth.”

“Karen.” Y/N hissed warning her friend not to go any further with her words.

“Relax, I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” the other girl hissed “I think you act delusional! Can’t you see, we are in deep shit!”

“Well, well, well, I guess we got one who got some reason inside.” One of the man chuckled “good for you, girl. If you …. entertain us, we may even consider letting you out. As for your friend, not so sure. She is way too unruly, for her own good.” He came closer grabbing Karen’s chin making her look straight into his face.

“How would you like me to entertain you?” Y/N’s sultry voice distracted him enough to let go .

“I’ve got some ideas. First of all, I don’t like that little T-shirt of yours.”

“Y/N what the hell are you doing?!” Karen cried ‘Stop it!”

“Hush, quiet, I’m sure we can work our way with those gentlemen.”

“Willing one, aren’t you. I like it.”

“Do you? Maybe you can convince my friend to join the game as well. What do you wish to do with us?”

“I’ve had so many girls during the years, you know, baby. So many different races transported from one place to another, here and there but you are the only one who are so open to the ideas”

“How am I different from them?” Y/N continued her flirting “is it my voice? My lips? My body?”

“They were always fighting. When we captured them and talked calmly they never listened. Just like your friend. Little sluts. We had to use some pills to actually convince them.”

“Oh….. how rude of them.” It was getting harder to keep the serious voice. This idiot had no idea what he was just doing, hypnotized by her words and the way she was sticking out her breasts.

“But you….. I might keep you to myself. You seem far too precious to sell you to anyone else.”

“Can you untie me then?”

“Boss!” before Y/N got what she wanted the person who was on the lookout outside came running inside  

“What the fuck, now!?”

“We got company! And I don’t mean those girls! Daredevil and Punisher!”

“WHAT! You brought them here!?”

“We did not!”

“Right. Like I believe you! And we were just getting acquainted! Too bad I will be forced to hurt you, baby. Just like I did before when someone got too interested in my business and we had to open fire. Now come here, little one” he grabbed Y/N pointing towards one of his minder instructing him to do the same with Karen. “We’re leaving.”

***

“Get the girls! I’ll hold them back!”

***

“Y/N!”  shooting left and right Frank got the room where the boss escaped with the girls, now keeping Y/N close to his, pointing a knife to her throat. “Let her go or I’ll kill you.”

“Before the bullet gets to me she’ll be already bleeding out. If you lower your gat however I may consider letting her go.

“Bullshit!”

“Right. It is, pure bullshit.” He smiled vindiclively and without any hesitation slit the girl’s throat.

“Y/N!” Frank and Karen yelled and from that moment the events turned unexpected turn.

***

Four people were crowded in the tiny room. Foggy joined his friends as soon as he could, after receiving disturbing call from Karen who was sobbing and in shaky voice described him what happened.  

Three of them dressed neatly in black, the last one refusing to choose this color and instead straying in his casual, ruffled clothes. Karen had flowers in her hands but she lacked any strength to hold them properly so they dangled dolefully. No one said a single word and it made the whole situation even more tragic. This is not how it was supposed to go. This was never supposed to happen.

Each one of them, were immersed in their own thoughts and feelings.

Karen was utterly broken, Foggy still processing the situation (since he wasn’t present at the scene),  Matt angry and Frank….. Frank was just standing in front of the window, without a single emotion on his face. His whole body stiff, his eyes unmoving, fists clenched. It was his fault. Again. It was all on him. She was right from the beginning. If he was honest with her it would never ended up like this. This was on him and he would never never live it through.

“Frank….” Karen noticed the catatonic state he was in and approached him quietly “frank?”

“FUCK!” he yelled taking her by surprise even if it was predictable.

“It’s not….” she started

“Don’t even started it. It is because of me! I should have stopped her and now…. now…..” his voice broke

“Y/N’s sot the person who could be stopped and you know it.”

“I just can’t …..” acting out of character he hid his face in hands “not again…..”

Seconds after Y/N got her throat cut, Matt came running through the door, aiming straight at the crime boss taking him down in a few, well aimed punches and kicks. Only then he had some time to wrap his head around the situation. Karen was crying and shaking on the ground next to Frank, who was holding Y/N in his arms, cradling her close, getting his hands and chest dirty and bloodied with her blood flowing freely.”

“It’s gonna be all right, baby, it’s gonna be all right. Just stay with me, please.”

“Frank.” Matt’s voice got the other man’s attention “We need to….”

“No. No, we   don’t need to anything. I will take her.”

“Be serious. We are still wanted. We can’t just walk into the hospital. I’ll call Claire, she will help us. Fuck! Take the help, Frank. You’re not the only one who cares about her!”

Castle just muttered something under his nose but nodded and as quick as it was possible they transported bleeding out girl to the medical facility hoping it was not too late to save her.

While Frank carried Y/N outside something dropped from the girl’s pocket. Dictating machine. She got it all on record. The confession of the criminals. Now, thanks to her sacrifice, it was possible to set things straight.  

“It’s gonna be fine, Frank. We will…..”

“It’s time.” Foggy interrupted them before any words were said. “We can go in now.”

“Maybe we should let Frank do it alone at first.” Matt chimed in “we can wait.” His eyes crossed Frank’s who just nodded and surprisingly quiet entered the adjacent room.

***

The clarity, sterility and brightness of the place was tragicomic contract to the way he looked like in his dark, messy clothes. Y/N was lying in the bed in the middle, looking innocent, pale, fragile and to small surrounded by the much bigger bedframe. Just another victim of rumble she should never be involved in, hurt, broken and yet, so peaceful. Frank clenched his jaws, since this was the only way for him to avoid screaming or breaking something. He could not stand seeing her this way. So…. lifeless. Seconds stretched into hours when he approached her, examining girl’s face.

“Y/n…..” he spoke with desperation in his voice, begging any higher entity he did not believe in to bring her back to him. “please…..”

“ Frank….?” Y/n stirred in her sleep, the first word in her lips being his name. And then she open eyes, her e/c orbs meeting his. “Hi…..” she whispered softly.

“ Y/N…..” he grabbed her hand, bringing it to his face “I thought I lost you…..”

“How …. How long was I out?”

“Three days.”

“What happened?” she tried to lift herself up, but since it took too much strength she gave up and fell back onto the pillows.

“How much do you remember?”

“I…..” her hand involuntarily travelled to her throat “do I have a scar? Am I a badass now?”

“You were always a badass.” He admitted “Y/n…. I’m sorry…..”

“For what?”

“You were right.”

“Hm? Can you say that again? I was right?”

“Don’t.” he warned, corners of his lips lifting slightly

“Ok. But I need you to promise me something Frank. Right now, while you looking at me here. I need you to swear to me you will be honest with me from this time on. So I can help, having all the information. So I won’t have to search for my own and get hurt. Or worse, see you hurt. I am not a helpless little girl you take me for.”

“You surely look like one now, sweetheart. I was really scared about you. The doctors barely saved you……”

“This is a taste of your own medicine, dear. Now you know what it feels like to see the person you care about broken and hurting. Now, promise me.”

“I promise” he whispered leaning down and kissing her forehead in the most affectionate way he could, hoping she would get the silent message he could not relay with words. I love you.

“Will you stay with me? I’m sure Matt, Karen and Foggy are out wanting to see me, but I just want you for a while.”

“Always.”  

@pinksirensong

[zootopiathingz]

I've been following you for a while now, and when I see all the negativity there with HH is in terms of ships, I can't help but wonder why you even bother staying in that fandom tbh. Sure, the pairing's nice I guess, but to me it just doesn't seem worth the insults and constant toxicity.

I dunno. It just seems like a shit ton of effort and mental bargaining for something that you could easily find elsewhere with a lot less crap.

You know I’ve had this ask just sitting there for a couple days because I wasn’t sure how to react at first. I feel called out, in a weird way😅

The thing is, liking Hazbin Hotel is difficult because I’ve got the fandom and the haters coming at my throat 24/7. It’s completely unfair. I should be allowed to indulge in the show that I like and consume/make fan content for it without getting harassed by literally everybody. Unfortunately fandoms nowadays are getting more and more toxic, that this could happen in any fandom I join. Granted Hazbin has it so much worse cuz its majority are illiterate children who can’t comprehend how fandoms are supposed to work and were never educated on the dangers of the internet.

So anon, I guess I don’t really have a good reason why I stay in the fandom..aside from spite. If me shipping two cartoon characters makes this many people angry, then I’m gonna keep doing it. Because that’s their problem, not mine. I may be a sensitive soul, but I am a grown adult and I can handle a couple hate comments every now and then. If someone wants to send a long rambling paragraph about how much they hate me because I like reposting drawings of Charlie sucking Alastor’s shlong, then like ok, suck my shlong bitch🤷‍♀️

However, I’m really only here to engage in Charlastor content tbh. My mutuals are the only people I interact with at this point. I don’t care to deal with everyone else’s negative behavior directly. It’s a waste of time trying to reason with everybody when I could just block and never acknowledge their existence again. Only reason I’ve been speaking out about it more lately is because it’s getting dangerous, and I want everyone to be safe (and alive) because at the end of the day we’re all just nerds making our dolls kiss and it should never go so deep as to take someone’s life away.

[buckysgrace]

6. Blue

Part six of Every Little Thing! Thank you to @floredaqueen for making the lovely art of Daphne and Gator I love them sooooo much <3

CW: Mentions of miscarriage, some hitting, shitty dads smh, some angst hehe

Gator stared at the card for a moment before he gained the courage to pick it up. He’d just returned back after sneaking out in the early hours, enamored by the way the sunlight danced off of Daphne’s exposed skin. He felt like he’d been a fool to stay that long, but couldn’t find it in himself to leave either.

Despite being made from cardstock, it weighed heavy in his hands and in his heart. His eyes traveled over her wide smile, the way her lipstick was nearly pristine as she had her cheek resting against Hugh’s shoulder.

It was an invitation. Some stupid party to celebrate their engagement. He felt his face burning in anger, trying to understand what she saw in that guy. They didn’t fit, they didn’t even act like a couple. He nearly felt like she was just trying to prove a point to him. 

“She looks pretty, doesn’t she?” Karen questioned as she appeared in the kitchen. Gator stared at the ring on Daphne’s finger for a moment longer before he dropped the picture, almost like it was burning his fingers. He was angry suddenly. 

He couldn’t believe her. It was like she was dangling it over his head, proudly showing off the life she was making without him. It felt wrong, all of it. 

“What’s the point of an engagement party anyways?” Gator grumbled as he finally brought his eyes up to Karen. Her right cheekbone was bruised, a nasty blue and purple that made his eyes linger for just a second too long. They both turned away as a way to not acknowledge it.

“Traditions,” Karen said softly, “You celebrate the happiness of the couple. At least that’s what my father told me.” She replied as she began to crack some eggs into a large bowl. He suddenly felt like the room was too small, like it was closing in on him. 

“I’m going out,” He said suddenly, forgetting why he had come over here in the first place, “I’ll be back later.” He mumbled underneath his breath as he headed back out the door, leaving as quickly as he had entered.

He struggled with his vape, taking a few deep inhales as he crossed back over towards the other house. He wasn’t sure why he was acting so surprised. Of course, Daphne was planning on marrying Hugh. He was just fooling himself. 

He took long strides up to his room before he yanked his closet open and reached around blindly for the folder that he’d had hidden away for such a long time. It felt heavy in his hands, despite being a single sheet of paper.

He fell back onto his bed, sitting down for a moment as he flipped it open again. It was slightly folded, a little dented for the many times that he’d held it and just stared at it in disbelief. He wanted to confront her the moment she’d gotten back, but had grown too distracted in his own want. He couldn’t keep up with her, not without knowing the truth. 

“Where are you going now?” Roy met him outside again, his eyebrows cocked high as Gator tossed the folder into his passenger seat. He paused for a second before he let the car door slam shut, not wanting Roy to find out the truth until he knew it for himself. 

“Gotta fix something.” He mumbled underneath his breath as he scratched at the back of his forehead. He did his best to look stoic, hoping that Roy wouldn’t read too much into his actions. 

“Son,” Roy looked at him more sternly, tilting his head until Gator was forced to look up at him, “I’m serious. You had your shot and you lost it. Don’t ruin her.” He felt his eyebrows furrowing together in defense, knowing that he wasn’t doing anything that Daphne didn’t want. He couldn’t help that she was marrying the wrong person. 

“What shot?” He grumbled underneath his breath, “We never spoke about getting married, not seriously like you guys wanted us to.” He pointed out, feeling like it was an unfair accusation. He and Daphne always teetered around each other’s feelings, like they were both too afraid to admit anything to one another. 

“I’m just saying it’s over with,” Roy replied, sounding a little more frustrated, “You have your life, she has her own. You didn’t take your chance seriously.” He reminded Gator, pointing out that Daphne had chosen someone else over him. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, just adding it to the list of other things that he’d done wrong. 

“I just need to talk to her,” He said softly, knowing that there was no point in hiding where he was going. Not to mention, if Roy knew the truth he’d agree with Gator completely, “Just to say bye.” He mumbled, but felt like he was lying.

“Yeah, well,” Roy sighed as he took a step back, “You’re not gonna be the only one that gets hurt.” He said softly. Gator did his best to keep from scoffing, not caring if Hugh got hurt in the process. As far as he could tell, Hugh didn’t deserve Daphne at all.

He settled into his car, feeling tense as he reversed out of his parking spot and slowly watched as Roy disappeared in the distance. He wondered if Roy would end up telling Bruce what was happening between him and Daphne. If anything else would happen. He wondered if Bruce knew the truth, but didn’t think it was possible. He wouldn’t hide something like that. 

He pushed the familiar door open, pausing his movements this time so he could keep from crushing Birdie. The fat cat rubbed his face against Gator’s ankles, before dragging his teeth across his pants with a purr and running away.

He shut the door quietly behind him, not used to seeing the house so empty as he walked inside. He crossed the ocean of pictures on the walls, his eyes lingering against Daphne’s preschool aged pictures in wonder as his mind began to race.

The sound of water running in the kitchen drew his attention away as he walked towards that direction. His heart hammered in his chest as he took in her the side of her face. He admired her wide lips, the way they pouted as she hummed to the radio in the background. He slowly drew his eyes up to her sloped nose that he had spent many nights tracing. She used to complain about it being too big, but he thought she was crazy. It wasn’t a small button nose, but it did fit her exactly as it was meant to. And it was squishy.

“Mornin’,” Daphne greeted cheerily, her thick eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as she looked at the way he stomped further into the kitchen, “Something wrong?” She asked him as she dragged a towel around a dish to dry it. 

“You’re really going to marry him?” He asked her a little loudly, unable to help the anger that was forming in his chest. He had been so sure that she was only doing this to make a show, to make him do something stupid. Her eyes turned wide as she set the dish up to finish drying. 

“That’s sort of what an engagement means.” She replied softly as she pulled an awkward smile up to her lips. He stared at her, fuming while he hoped that she’d have some sort of explanation. She shook her head softly, so lightly that he almost missed it. She was genuinely confused.

He thought about screaming in frustration, about demanding her to tell him why she’d done it. He scratched at the back of his neck, his heart hammering roughly as his veins burned in a silent fury. He didn’t want to expose how upset he was yet. 

“What about this?” He asked as he pushed the folder over towards her. She looked at it curiously, one dark eyebrow raised before she glanced up at him again. She tilted her head in confusion as she glanced back towards the folder. The air felt heavy between the two of them as he waited for her response. 

“What is that?” She asked hesitantly, looking like she was afraid of knowing. He observed her, trying to figure out if she had already figured out that he knew the truth. He didn’t want to play anymore games. He just wanted the truth. He just wanted her to be honest with him, to stop running. 

“I don’t know,” He shrugged his shoulders, “You tell me.” He said seriously as he waited for her to move. She stalled for another second before she took a step forward and pulled the folder towards her. She opened it even slower, like she was afraid of what she was going to read. 

Her blue eyes filled with tears, her features falling into a broken look as she stared down at the paper in front of her. Her finger lingered on the corner of the page as she exhaled deeply. Her voice shook as she looked up at him, tears beginning to pour from the corners of her eyes.

“How’d you get this?” She asked him, her voice trembling as she continued to look down at the paper in front of her. He watched the way she moved her palms across her abdomen, like she was trying to hide more evidence from him. He pressed his lips together, deciding that it was best that she stayed in the dark on certain things. He didn’t want to be the one to expose their families dark secrets, nor reveal the heinous things he was involved in. 

“You really thought I didn’t know?” He asked her instead as he shot her a serious look, wondering if she really thought that he’d just let her leave with no explanation. He wanted to believe that she’d tell him, but it was too far past that. She had no desire to share the truth with him. 

“Gator,” She cut herself off, taking another deep breath to try and keep her composure, “I’m sorry. I didn’t-,” She shook her head, looking like she was trying to find the right words to speak. He didn’t care for whatever excuse she was trying to come up with. 

“Didn’t what? Think you should tell me? I deserved to know.” He told her roughly, his voice laced with the different emotions he was trying to hide. He blinked roughly, still unable to look at her while she was crying. He huffed roughly. 

“You did but-,” She started hiccuping, crying so hard that she began to shake her head as she struggled to speak. Her hand shook as she brought it up to her mouth, covering her lips as she rapidly blinked the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. 

“I want to see my kid.” He said at last, firmly as he looked at her sharply. Her pouty lips parted, her eyes widening in shock as she looked over his features for a moment. She held her fingers together into a fist, staying silent for a long moment as she stared down at the counter. He figured the kid had to be back in France, with Hugh’s family or something. She had surely hidden the baby away, far from where he’d been able to find them. None of it made sense to him. He didn’t want someone else raising his kid.

He didn’t understand why she thought she had to leave. He would’ve helped her raise their baby together. More than that, he couldn’t understand why she would just leave without saying anything. He wondered if she was ashamed of him. He didn’t think he was that awful. 

“Gator,” She finally spoke, looking over at him sadly as tears trickled down her cheeks, “I never had a baby.” She whispered softly, choked up by her own tears as she continued to wipe at her cheeks. He furrowed his eyebrows together tightly. 

“You killed our baby?” He asked in disdain, unsure of why she felt like she had to do such a thing. They had done everything backwards, but they could’ve made it work. He couldn’t believe that after all they’d been through, she’d go behind his back and do something like that. 

“No,” She sobbed as she sniffled loudly, “I lost the baby.” She replied as her features wrinkled up in anguish. She looked like she was going to say more but cut herself off, breathing in deeply as she looked away from him again. 

He paused, resting his palm flat against the counter as he absorbed everything at once. He didn’t understand her. At one time he felt as if he could read her mind, but this made no sense to him at all. He didn’t understand why she didn’t want to be with him or why she would keep such a thing from him. 

He watched her for a moment, trying to piece together if she was lying or not. He felt his shoulders slumping a bit, his previous images of what their child would’ve looked like slowly disappearing as he knew her words were true. It didn’t make sense for her to come back here without a child, or for her to eventually live here and act like the child wasn’t his. 

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” He whispered softly, tilting his head as he watched her curiously. She was a mystery to him suddenly. Things could’ve been fixed. They could’ve worked it out. She didn’t have to run away. 

“You didn’t want anything serious,” She choked out, making his eyebrows wrinkle in confusion as he tried to remember when he would’ve said that, “And a baby is serious. I didn’t want to be treated the same way these other girls are so I left. I was going to tell you but by that time I lost her.” She revealed slowly, her cheeks red and raw from how many times she’d wiped at them. 

“Her?” He breathed out harshly, “We were going to have a girl?” He felt as if his heart had stopped, then started again with slow painful thumps inside of his chest. It felt tight, like he was struggling to breath suddenly. It all felt too real. He wondered if she would’ve had Daphne’s bright eyes or his dark ones. If she would’ve had his darker hair or her soft, red locks. He wondered if she would’ve greeted him at the door after work, the same way he’d done to Roy. 

Daphne looked at him wide eyed, like she was trying to form the right words to say. He looked at her, still feeling a little shocked as he mourned what his life could’ve been. He supposed that if he was in her shoes, he wouldn’t have told himself either. Still, he wished that he had known. 

“What are you doing?” Bruce’s voice rang through the kitchen, making the two of them jolt from the sudden intrusion. Daphne’s hands shook as she quickly shut the folder and reached into the sink, pulling out another wet dish as she tried to appear busy. Bruce looked irritated, his face slightly greasy with oil while his blonde hair was wet from the summer heat. Daphne didn’t meet his eye, trying to hide the messy way she’d been crying. 

“I was coming out there,” Daphne defended herself quickly as she scrubbed a dish dry in record time, “I’m sorry I just got-” She started to explain, but was quickly cut off by Bruce popping her in the mouth with the front of his knuckles.

She stumbled back in surprise, the plate crashing into the floor as she reached for her messy lip at the same time. Her blue eyes were shot wide in shock as Gator jumped from all the sudden commotion. He moved forward quickly, trying to reach her when Bruce held up a hand to stop him.

He held his breath out of anger, trying to keep himself from saying something dumb as he watched the quick way Daphne fell to her knees and began to frantically swoop pieces of ceramic up into a pile with her palms. He didn’t care how upset with her he was, she didn’t deserve that.

“Ten minutes,” Bruce warned, “Get that shit cleaned up and get outside. This isn’t my fucking wedding I’m setting up.” He told her sternly, pointing his finger at her one last time before he walked around Gator without another word or explanation. 

He hesitated, watching the way Bruce stormed out and slammed the door behind him. The house rattled from his rough actions, shaking it in his wake. Gator had never seen him act like that with either of his two girls before. August had really been the only one that he knew of that used to get hit roughly like that. 

He hated to see her cry, but especially like this. He slowly walked forward, having a hundred different apologies on his tongue but not saying any of them. He didn’t know what to say about Bruce. She wouldn’t believe him if he told her she shouldn’t be treated like that.

He crouched next to her softly, careful not to alarm her as she continued to sniffle and pile the broken pieces up as best as she could. He watched the way fat tears slid off of her cheeks and onto the floor. He reached underneath the counter, gently pressing a few larger pieces towards her that he could easily see. 

“Shoot,” Daphne’s voice shook as she did her best to sweep the broken glass up into her hands, “I’m so clumsy.” She forced out a laugh, a tight smile on her lips as she kept her eyes in front of her. He frowned, watching the small stream of blood that began to flow down her skin. 

“Here,” He paused, making her drop the glass from her trembling hands before he tilted her chin up towards him. He felt a pang in his chest as he met her wide, blue eyes. She looked surprised, fearful even as her eyes glistened over with fresh tears. He slowly trailed down to her bleeding lip, “It’s not too bad. It won’t take too long to scab over.” He reassured her softly as he reached for a napkin to dab the blood away.

“I need to clean this up,” She sniffled, her words slightly muffled as he wiped the blood away, “I was supposed to help him finish cleaning out the barn and I guess I just got distracted.” He parted his lips, feeling bad that she felt like she had to explain it to him. He was shocked too. He had seen Bruce spank her before when she was really young, but he’d never known him to backhand her. 

“My fault,” He told her softly, “I came at a bad time.” He told her honestly, knowing he kept her away from her duties by ambushing her. He pulled his hand away softly, leaning back on his ankles as her bottom lip began to quiver harder. 

“I’m sorry,” She choked out as she wiped at her eyes rapidly, “I wanted to tell you but then I just got so scared. And then I lost her and it felt like it didn’t matter.” She spit out, her eyes glassy as she glanced towards him again. Her features were wrinkled up in grief as she watched him, looking like she was desperate for him to believe her. 

“You should’ve told me,” He mumbled softly, but not in anger this time as he just lightly brushed his fingers against her own, “I could’ve helped you.” He told her truthfully, feeling like that was the safest thing to say. He didn’t want to admit to anything, not when she seemed so determined to make a happy life with Hugh. 

Her shoulders shook as she sobbed, from regret or sadness. Or even humiliation from what Bruce had just done. Gator didn’t know. He just let her cry before he gently scooped her into his lap, his heart aching at the way she collapsed against him.

He squeezed her softly with one hand, feeling bad for the terrible day that he was certain he’d just caused. She felt small in his touch as her tears soaked into his shirt. He didn’t know what to say, or how to explain how he was feeling anyways. He felt like he was mourning her all over again. She was back, but nothing between them would ever be the same. 

“Doesn’t matter anymore,” She said at last, taking a deep sniffle as she wiped at her eyes. She inhaled sharply, turning to face him as sadness lingered in his eyes. He breathed out roughly, wondering if her heart was aching in the same manner. Their faces were close as he gently moved his thumb up to wipe at the corner of her eyes, “You must hate me.”

“I don’t understand why you kept it from me,” He told her truthfully as he traced his fingers across her soft skin. He tucked her hair behind her ears gently, trying to get a better look at her, “But I don't hate you.” He admitted, thinking that she would have to do a lot worse for him to ever hate her. 

Her eyes lingered across his features, reading his expression like she was trying to tell if he was lying or not. He gently brought his thumb back against her raw skin, trying to keep his mind from wandering to what could’ve been. He supposed they’d be married by now, perhaps another baby on the way if she had stayed. Or if she hadn’t lost their previous one. He curled his tongue in his mouth as he shut his thoughts off, not allowing himself to mourn a life that was already gone.

“I’m really sorry.” She repeated softly, looking quite pitiful with tear stained cheeks and a busted bottom lip. He gently pressed his fingers against her chin again, taking one last look at her sore lip before he pulled away from her entirely. He didn’t want to linger too close to her, fearful for what he’d do if he stayed near her.

“You’re right, it doesn’t matter,” He shrugged his shoulders as he stood, staring at the folder that was resting on the counter. He wondered if he should toss it, get rid of it entirely. There was no point in holding onto it anymore. It would just be a sad reminder, “I should go.”

“You don’t have to,” She rose quickly before she wiped her palms against her thighs, “I mean, I’m sure mom would love to have you over for lunch.” She added softly as she gently began to pick at her nails. A bad nervous habit of hers. He opened his mouth, about to dismiss her statement when motion from down the hall caught their attention. 

“Oh,” Hugh spoke up, his accent raspy as Gator turned away to take the trash out, “What happened to your lip?” Hugh looked at her, his eyes blown wide in surprise as Gator finished tying up the trash bag. He glanced over towards her, watching the way she awkwardly held herself before she thought of an answer. 

“It’s silly,” Daphne gulped as she waved her hand into the air, “There’s a child lock on the drawer and I popped it open to fast, busted it off and popped myself in the face.” She replied clumsily, randomly gesturing like she was pointing towards one of the counters. Gator chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if Hugh even knew the type of family he was getting himself involved in. 

“Oh,” Hugh looked at her curiously as he just barely touched her chin to look at it, “Do you think it’ll be better by our party?” Gator scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief at Hugh’s question. He couldn’t believe that Hugh was only worried with the way Daphne looked.

“Yeah,” Daphne piped up quickly, drawing Hugh’s attention from Gator’s angry features, “It’ll be fine.” She nodded her head urgently, trying to give Hugh a tight smile before she winced and stopped. She touched her lip again, like she was worried it had started to bleed. 

“I hope your lip heals,” Gator drawled out as he pulled the vape up to his mouth and took a deep inhale, “Otherwise you might have to postpone your party.” He said sarcastically as he blew out a cloud of smoke, snorting as he walked past Hugh. He hit his shoulder hard, not acknowledging the way that Hugh winced. 

His veins felt jittery with anger, his chest warm as his heart felt as if it was being squeezed roughly. He didn’t understand how Daphne could be with someone like Hugh. He didn’t understand what Hugh had that he didn’t. 

He slammed his door shut behind him as he sunk into the car seat. He twisted his fingers roughly across the steering wheel, inhaling sharply as he tried to calm himself. He felt like he needed a drink.  Maybe more. He just needed something to make him forget. 

“Gator,” Daphne rushed forward towards his car, looking a little panicked as she stopped in front of his window, “I didn’t hide it from you out of malice. I really wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how to.”

“Why?” Gator questioned her in confusion, “Why wouldn’t you trust me?” He asked her seriously, still in disbelief. He knew all of her other secrets and couldn’t imagine why hiding a pregnancy would be such a big deal. Their parents would’ve been furious, but it was something they would’ve eventually overcome together. 

“It wasn’t about trust,” She whispered softly, “We just wanted different things and I didn’t want to force you into something you weren’t ready for.” He scoffed and shook his head, wondering where the cracks in their relationship had started.

“You didn’t even give me the chance.” He said simply as he looked up towards her. She looked conflicted for a moment, before she seemed to accept his statement. She pressed her fingers against the side of his car, gently tapping them as she thought.

“I know,” She looked down in shame, “It was a rushed decision. I thought I could raise her away from this. I was too ashamed to tell anyone after it happened.” He stared at her for a moment, still trying to promise that the baby had been real. That the baby had been a girl. That she was gone now and had been for a long time. 

“Yeah,” Gator nodded his head, “But you still came right back to this. I don’t know what you want me to say.” He told her truthfully, knowing that he wouldn’t dare say what he wanted to. There was nothing he could say that would change her mind. 

“I don’t either,” She admitted slowly, “I just want to know that you don’t hate me.” She whispered out as she found the courage to look at him again. He stared into her bright eyes, thinking that they resembled the prettiest sapphires. 

“You spent three years without me,” He reminded her, “Why should that matter now?” He questioned her with a soft shrug of his shoulders. She furrowed her eyebrows together, looking conflicted again. It was silent, minus for the sound of the chickens that were coming out from the coop. 

“You’re right,” She said softly, looking a little defeated, “I didn’t treat you fairly but my heart was broken. I couldn’t face you.” She said lightly as she brought a finger up to her mouth. She shot her eyes away, like she was too afraid to see his reaction.

He shook his head in confusion, feeling like he was still missing something. He didn’t understand how she was acting like she was heartbroken, like he had done something to hurt her. Despite their tangled feelings and the spark that they both shared but kept buried, they’d never gotten together officially. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care. 

“Daphne!” Bruce shouted as he rounded the corner of the house, “Are you coming or what?” He looked over at her in frustration, his palms out as he waited for her. Gator stiffened, hoping she wouldn’t get in trouble again. 

“I’m sorry,” She replied as she took a step back, “I really am.” She told him desperately, like she needed him to believe her. She turned then, rushing back towards the house as she shouted her apologies to Bruce.

Gator sat for another moment in confusion. He exhaled loudly as he shut his eyes and rested his head against the headrest. He felt exhausted as a dull ache settled over his chest and his mind burned with questions. He almost wished that she’d stayed away, that he’d never found out the truth.

He quickly shook those thoughts away, wishing that it could be that easy. He didn’t want Daphne to be gone and he didn’t want to be away from her. Deep down, he still knew that she was his. He just had to make her remember that. 

[sun13koi]

hey bud!

I’m sorry that you’re having to go through that, you deserve better.

First of all, I would like to say that your mother is being really unfair in the way she treats you. You should be able to express yourself, and feel comfortable in your own body.

I would maybe try talking to her about how you feel. “Hey mom, when you did ___, it made me feel ___”

Communication is very important, and can help your mom understand better.

Maybe try talking to her about why you want to get a binder. Explain that it’s to aid you in feeling comfortable in your own body. Maybe send her links and resources to help understand you better as well.

The Trevor Project has a LOT of resources, and they are very informative and thorough while simultaneously being calm and patient in their explanation of the topics they cover.

Secondly:

Your brother.

I’m sorry that he’s doing that. It’s not fair, and your feelings are real and valid.

It seems that he is younger than you, yes?

If so, then it makes sense that he copies you.

Younger siblings tend to copy their older siblings.

They do that because, believe it or not, they really admire you, and they want to be just like you because in their eyes, you’re the coolest person ever.

it’s your brother’s way of saying that he thinks his older brother is so cool and awesome, and that he loves and cares for you.

That doesn’t mean it’s ok, or that the way you feel is wrong.

Maybe try to explain how you feel to him.

“Hey, when you do ___, it makes me feel ___”

Not only is it an effective way of putting your feelings to words, and communicating them, it also sets a good example for your brother.

It lets him know that it’s ok to feel and express emotions, and it shows him a way in which he can properly do so.

Lastly:

You’re doing great dude, and you’re trying your best, that’s all that matters.

At the end of the day, it’s night (/j)

Make sure to drink some water please

Good luck

bro this brought me to tears (/pos) (I’m just not used to support..) more explanation under cut- Ik you probably won’t see this unless you’re really invested or smth

I have tried, but she never understands. ‘Hey mom, it really bothers me when he copies me, could you tell him to try and do it less?’

‘He’s a child, he’ll grow out of it. And after all, mockery is the best form of admiration!’

but that’s not what I asked, is it, mom? I didn’t ask why. I don’t want you to tell me why. I want you to be responsible about your children and their emotional needs. This is MY life. We aren’t even the same generation. Let me live it and tell him to be his own person.

‘Hey mom, look at this progress I’ve made! I’m really proud of it!’

“Oh it’s terrifying! I liked your old style better. Also, it’s not even Halloween, why are you wearing masks?”

my old style was the terrifying one. I don’t even care if it’s fake, I just want the love and support that I’ve turned to strangers on the internet for instead.

I also have links for binder information, and I would send them to her… but she’s weird. She’ll see it as constant talk, too much work, not worth the money and research, etc. but when I DONT bring it up again, she’ll forget. I’m stuck. I’m just gonna wait until my dad has a chance to take me to a local lgbt center that gives them out. I don’t know when that will be though, as I can feel the weight of my parents about to get divorced (more in my first vent) like a boulder over all of us, and there not one but TWO hurricanes coming our way.

also my family hardly supports me. They act like the things that make me- well, me, don’t exist, unless we’re alone. They won’t use my name or pronouns, they won’t even acknowledge it. The most I get is them sometime calling me their ‘child’ or ‘offspring’ instead of ‘daughter’, but now it just feels… weird. Detached. Replaceable. Don’t get me wrong, SOEMTIMES they try. My dad took me to pride. My dad calls me my preferred name sometimes when my mom and brother take trips. Notice how only my dad does this, and only on rare occasions…? And it’s not even bc it’s ‘new’, I’ve been out to them with different things since I was ten, and I came out to them as trans and pan almost a year ago now (I’ve been identifying with those labels for two years now)

communication doesn’t work in my family. It never has, and it never will. I’ve tried. So. Many. Times. And they’ve lost all of their chances. So until they acknowledge who I am, I think I’m gonna keep preferring my chosen family instead. Can’t wait to go no contact with these guys one day…

[flock-of-cassowaries]

I have pretty severe OCD, and I read an interesting post on OCD rep in Better Call Saul.

I’m not reblogging the post, because it’s an old post, I don’t think my input would necessarily make that person’s day / life better; but if I understood them correctly:

They felt that when Chuck uses his history of having OCD symptoms to manipulate Jimmy, this justifies the resentment other characters felt towards Chuck (for requiring them to accommodate him vis. his “electricity allergy”).

(For context, Chuck does this when he’s attempting to prove Jimmy’s fraud on the Mesa Verde case. )

I watched the same show, and didn’t feel this way at all.

I think it’s because I didn’t think that the resentment of the people around Chuck required justification.

I’ll preface the next part by saying that when I have been at my worst, my OCD has been as severe as Chuck’s is on the show.

My brain fixates on the possibility of germs, rather than on the dangers of electricity (though honestly, before I ever saw better call Saul, my rogue amygdala had actually briefly experimented with that exact OCD theme), but the outcomes are fairly similar.

I spent the first two years of the pandemic in a state of extremely high paranoia, refusing to leave my apartment, surrounded by $1000 worth of humming air purifiers.

It was very much Electric Blanket-era Chuck.

I think I see the resentment that the other characters (the HHM staff, and Jimmy) sometimes feel towards Chuck as reasonable, because:

I know that being around someone with severe OCD can be taxing. My own friends and loved ones are very accommodating towards and patient with me, but I know it’s not always easy, and they are probably quite frustrated, at times.

I feel that Chuck is coming from a place of extreme ego and privilege by refusing to entertain the idea that he is mentally ill; rather than asking for legitimately required accommodations in a situation of desperation, or demanding them because he has experienced a total loss of perspective, I feel that Chuck is content to impose his OCD on others. To do that protects his ego from the pain of admitting he is not in total control mentally, and is less difficult for him than the painful work of actually attempting to cope with OCD.

I see some of Chuck’s self-righteous privilege in myself, at times, but it’s very much tempered by the shame and horror I feel about asking someone to do something I know (deep down) is unreasonable. I still sometimes give into that temptation, but I try not to.

To be clear, I am not talking about instances where I have asked Unreasonable Things(tm) of people around me when I’m either:

a) so far into a spiral that I’ve honestly lost all perspective and don’t even realize I’m being unreasonable, or

b) when I can feel a bad panic-attack -type situation coming on and truly need a small-to-medium-level accommodation from a friend to arrest it

I’m not really ashamed of either of those situations. Embarrassed, yes; grateful to the kindness and patience of those who saw me through that time, yes.

But not ashamed.

What I see in Chuck, I guess, is something else; the worst possible iteration of me, perhaps.

And I guess the reason I don’t really feel that it’s unrealistic, or an unfair portrayal, is because I have known someone like that.

I have lived with a person who was like Chuck, in terms of their willingness to externalize their symptoms.

And it was fucking awful.

That person was my dad.

He almost definitely had OCD, but, like Chuck, he refused to acknowledge he was mentally ill.

He saw himself as uniquely brilliant and rational; completely in control of his own mind. Whenever his preferences clearly conflicted with what other people felt was reasonable, he blustered to the effect that he was The Only Sane Man.

Rather than admit he was anything less than entirely reasonable, he imposed his paranoia (about germs) and his preferences (for completely unblemished surfaces and surroundings) on everyone he could control (my mother and I).

It was miserable. It was unfair. It alienated everyone from our nuclear family (relatives, neighbours, and any potential friends), and it contributed a lot to my social isolation as a child.

It almost definitely also contributed a lot to reinforcing the same OCD fixations that I now struggle with, almost four decades later - symptoms that are more debilitating than any I ever saw him experience.

So yeah. That’s why I feel that Better Call Saul is not bad OCD rep.

Thank you for coming to my TedX Talk.

(Postscript: Chuck is honestly less awful than my dad. I feel a lot of sympathy for him, as a character, and was honestly shocked and upset by his death.)

(Postscript 2: I think I accepted his manipulation of Jimmy as just a manifestation of the kind of Machiavellianness that Jimmy himself often embodies. [As opposed to an indictment of people with OCD, or a vindication of everyone else’s resentment of the imposition that his symptoms represents to them.]

My dad is also highly Machiavellian, so that’s a characteristic that can definitely coexist with OCD.)

[hawkogurl]

in the genuine way possible, Why do you like Raimi verse MJ?

Would like a description of your thoughts.

So I just woke up (I know it’s 6PM I work night shifts) so this might not be as well verbalized as it could be. (Update: I put this in drafts and am now adding to it at midnight but I have had a day so prior warnings apply)

But for me, she’s a nuanced and flawed female character who isn’t given the credit for that she deserves and I think she kicks ass as a result. I don’t need characters I like to be good people, I need them to be interesting. She’s interesting.

But in terms of what people normally hate her for, I don’t really tend to agree for a variety of reasons. The main thing people get on her about is cheating, which is very much true, but that feels unfair when Peter also cheats! And he doesn’t see nearly the same amount of shit thrown at him that MJ does! (Wonder why that is?) Hell, he hits her while he has the symbiote but I barely see people bring it up. But on the note of her cheating, I don’t mind it because we’re given a reason as to why she’s got such bad commitment issues that I find interesting. She grew up in an extremely unstable home with a seemingly chronically ill mother and a verbally and likely physically abusive father. She’s a dysfunctional person for sure, but we as a community are more than willing to read into and analyze far worse behaviors in Peter, Harry, hell, people outright ignore Norman being an abusive father. It’s bs to me that she’s not given the same treatment. Shes someone who grew up in an unstable environment. Shes used to that. Her entire life in her formative years was that. As a result, the way I see it, she either gets into relationships with people who tend to continue not treating her well (Flash and to a degree Harry.) and when she’s in more stable relationships that hurt her less, (like John) I theorize that the reason she does so much to put them in jeopardy is that her, stability with men in her life is always something that has ended inevitably, but abruptly and probably violently. Being the one to destroy a relationship her trauma screams at her will inevitably end with her being hurt again gives her a sense of control.

And on top of that, I find her emotional responses to Peter’s behavior while he dates her extremely human! Sure, she definitely makes mistakes in how she handles it, but I personally absolutely hate the degree to which people ignore Peter’s own mistreatment of her. I’m not gonna claim she did nothing wrong, but people in this fandom have a tendency to remove responsibility or the ability to have done something wrong from Peter. At that point in the movies, Peter has everything going for him. His life is finally going well and as a result of his own inflated ego and the fact the world has revolved around him he sort of seems to forget that she has her own life and her own problems that she wants to be heard and understood and supported through. His ability to do that is one of the things that drew her to him in the first movie and she’s watching him as it becomes apparent he doesn’t really have that anymore. Everything in his life revolves around him and has for years, so when her life problems get brought up and he makes them about himself and remains somewhat unempathetic and so absorbed in his own joy he doesn’t notice how poorly she’s doing, I find it personally hard to deny that’s exactly how I would feel in that situation. I hate that people refuse to empathize with her, or when they do on a surface level they still refuse to acknowledge any blame Peter has there. Hell, I find it hard to deny that I’m irritated that it’s basically overlooked that Peter kissed another woman in front of her face but people will rip her to shreds for kissing another man one time. I’m not gonna say she didn’t fuck up, but I find the way she’s treated unfair and I frankly think the opinion wouldn’t skew the same if she was a man for both of these topics.

I also just like that she’s a person? She has emotions that feel real, she has a life and a career outside her relationship with Peter, she has compelling trauma that informs her decisions. I frankly find her to be a more nuanced and interesting character than MCU MJ or TASM Gwen simply because she feels more well rounded and flawed. They’re better and more likeable love interests, but I frankly think she’s a better character. Everything that people praise in them as something that makes them Better Than Raimi MJ either feels like rather shallow traits or things that feel somewhat misogynistic towards Raimi MJ, a character who they claim they don’t like due to misogynistic writing. No hate to those to ladies, I see the appeal to them and I think people should like them, but Raimi Mj has more depth to me.

In conclusion: To like a character I don’t need them to be a good person I need them to be interesting. Shes interesting. Also everyone in this trilogy, including Peter, is at least somewhat a bad person. So I don’t know why she specifically is being treated with so much less grace other than the obvious reason.