#I know how helpless it is.
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frankly, the response that you all have to people hating Biden because he has been brazenly aiding genocide and even with these recent aid drops is being utterly monstrous (dropping expired non-halal items) and is not using the power he has to actually stop this... it is not only about Palestinians, though they are the primary concern. For some of us, it is a reminder that if the US started aiding our people's destruction, you'd stand by it out of cowardice that criticism might make your life harder.
#cipher talk#I live in the US. I know Trump was terrible. I am trans. By virtue of that alone I know the stages of genocide are progressing in this#Country and I have a target on my back#Those stages have continued to progress under Biden by the damn way#But like. Being Coptic I also feel very aware of the risk of outbreaks in political violence for my community there as well#I look at Sudan and hope that I don't see a point in my lifetime where things reach that level#Because I do recognize a shared struggle with non Arab Sudanis and Copts even if historically we've been shit at recognizing that#I already know what it's like to wake up and hear of dozens dead from a fire caused my infrastructural neglect and racism#I know how helpless it is.
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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Lighter is sexy and all but what's sexier is just kissing his scars, even the little one reaching his buttcheek, this man should be caressed and needs to be pampered especially when he's naked non sexual nudity and intimacy is so underrated
No literally! I know I've been going on and on and on about how sexy Lighter is, and how good he is in bed, but my favorite thing is non-sexual intimacy. And I know that Lighter loves non-sexual intimacy too, probably more than most people might.
For the longest time, he was seen as just a body. Sure, sure it wasn't sexual, but that's all he was. Lighter's worth was how hard he could hit, how many punches he could take, and how long he could stay standing in a fight. Sexual intimacy, in a lot of ways, makes him feel the same way. Like he's just how hard he can fuck, or the only thing that matters is the size of his dick.
So when you gently draw your fingers over his scars, pressing feather-light kisses over the marred skin, he feels seen. He feels loved. He feels like a person. There's no motive behind what you're doing, no reason for you to press gentle touches to such ugly parts -- reminders of his past -- yet you do.
You do it because you love him, as a person. You want him to know how much you adore every part of him, even the ones that he finds ugly or disgusting because that's what love is. He just never felt it before now. He never knew what it meant to be loved, not until you were tracing the edges of his scars with your soft lips like he was something to be worshipped.
It makes him cry, hard. But then you come up and you kiss the tears away, whispering sweet nothings in his ears. He believes every word that leaves your mouth. Every praise, every declaration of love, all of it.
You take the time to show him, without a shadow of a doubt, that you love Lighter because he's Lighter. Not because he's the champion, not because he knows all the good spots deep inside you, but because he is your person. Because you are his.
#Heheheheheh I'm such a sap for sweet helpless lighter#he is such an amazingly written character#i know he's really just a big softie#and he needs to be shown how much he is loved#he deserves it more than anyone#bunni's treats 🧁#lighter zzz x reader#lighter zzz#lighter x reader
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(courtesy of the isat script project)
this bit always gets me
Siffrin wants so badly not to have the others hurt/see them hurt and yet doesn't register how much they don't want to see him hurt either.
the only reason Bonnie's not screaming too is because Siffrin already told them to run
#siffrin#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#I think odile's reaction particularly gets me#because the king defeat that focuses on her#describe her as being always turned away#unable to see or do anything#she won't actually see the blow that kills siffrin#it doesn't matter. knowing it's going to happen and that she can't stop it is horrifying enough#typically most composed. racks up the most exclamation points here. hm.#how much she must hate that helplessness
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NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU
(objectober 2024 day 20: dream)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii mephone#i don't feel like tagging the others... individually they're not that important anyway#objectober#objectober 2024#featuring lyrics from dream by roar :) one of my favorite songs of theirs#roar has an incredible capacity for expressing helplessness and isolation in their songs. it's so heart-wrenching. horribly real#i don't know the 'real' meaning but i've always seen dream as being about wanting to make your parents happy#and feeling like you're always failing#and now that they're gone you feel totally lost cuz you've based your whole life around making them happy#and you feel so alone and scared without them#and you don't know whether to continue following what they would've wanted#or to pursue dreams you feel you can never achieve without their support#i may or may not be projecting... but in any case it's very VERY fitting for mephone#and the prompt immediately made me think of the song and him... so...#very fond of how this turned out :)
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Kingdom Hearts - Ursula's Lair
#kingdom hearts#kh1#altantica#scenery#my gif#for the most part atlantica is a bright and colorful world but it definitely has some horror elements#i know a lot of people were terrified of the shark that jumpscares you in the sunken ship#but ursula's lair looks so dramatically different from the rest of the surrounding areas#it's funny how the game keeps the same upbeat music as you explore a giant carcass and swim past ursula's helpless victims#i've never watched the little mermaid but now i want to just to see how this area looks in the movie
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very tentatively holding hands with boothill for the first time and he's flustered bc of the intimacy and the romanticism of it all and how perfectly your palm fits against his and how wonderfully your fingers feel wrapped around his metal; meanwhile you're flustered because all you can think about is how easily he could fit his entire hand around your throat
#boothill x reader#reader insert#x reader#his hand would feel so perfect for choking i just know it#the intimacy of how careful he has to be not to hurt you#the feeling of helplessness because of how immovable he is#the chill of the metal#the pressure from the seams of his joints#rgghrrufrugufrhfucjfjghxfhdyfyjffvy#sal.drabbles
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I think classic no frills fauxcest is awesome from an objective standpoint but it’s not my cup of tea specifically. I think I am simply too much of an animal to engage with it in a way that’s compelling to me.
To be somebody’s childhood dog though,,,,, purchased by my masters, your parents, in your infancy with the sole purpose of growing up with you, of being a constant companion and protector. nestling into the crevice between best friend and sibling and making myself a den there. that’s the real good shit.
#and I haven’t even TOUCHED ON how the dog matures more quickly#soft helpless babies together until all of the sudden you’re a gangly kid with your Adult Hound that seems to inherently know what’s best#BARKBARK AAUUGH#t4t nsft#ftm nsft#t4t#butch nsft#nb nsft#petpl4y#fauxcest#nsft txt#barking
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Andrew’s “bottomless rage” and Jean’s “old and ugly rage” are the same in this essay I will -
#wksksksksk I literally had to find the exact quote for jeans rage and the amount of times Nora described jeans rage urgh#she even called it once bottomless rage too#the rage of not being able to do anything to protect themselves and knowing that they failed once again at what’s matter the most#Andrews bottomless rage that Neil was taken from him#that Aaron doesn’t see that Andrew threw his whole life away for him that he did everything for him even murder and suffering under dr*ke#andrews bottomless rage at how he was never strong enough that he just wasn’t fast enough#jeans bottomless rage that all those rumours about him yet he knows he can’t say anything#his bottomless rage that he was sold and he is and will always be property and all he could do is survive but never fight back#that bottomless rage in both of them is helplessness#and anger at themselves and the world and its fuck u to others#anyways#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#aftg series#aftg fandom#aftg incorrect quotes#andrew minyard#andrew joseph minyard#jean moreau#tsc and aftg supremacy#the sunshine court#aftg andrew#aftg jean#the golden raven
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without giving away spoilers for the new vengeance saga from epic: the musical --
man, the second half of "six hundred strike" sure fits percy de rolo against orthax or sylas briarwood a little too well
#epic the musical#epic the musical spoilers#tlovm#the legend of vox machina#percy de rolo#percival de rolo#cr 1#critical role#epic the vengence saga#epic: the musical#epic: the vengeance saga#cocoapost#i haven't posted anything about tlovm but i've been watching the series and been a fan of critical role for a long time#but. OH BOY. hooooooooooooo boy howdy#“HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE HELPLESS. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW PAIN.”#“LOOK WHAT YOU'VE TURNED ME INTO. LOOK AT WHAT WE'VE BECOME.”#hey jorge? jorge? what if you took my ENTIRE life huh. huh.#but also GEEEZ. oh man. percy my beloved#i love this musical but this moment was SO. so him.
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I think the best way I could describe this episode is 'fear'. The absolute fear that Thomas feels after Jane's death when reality begins to weigh on him. The complete devastation in his eyes when Mary told him that Stephen had returned, the way that his relationship around Henry is different. Henry isn't a friend to him, he's a dangerous person, but now he realizes he's stuck. The way he accidentally let it slip that he would retaliate against Henry, in front of Risley, and the cold fear that we see in his face.
Thomas is genuinely terrified. I don't think he believes death, is looming in the air, but he knows that something is going to happen. And i mean, the fear he is feeling was enough to get him sick, and nearly die. It brought back his Italian fever but this time, it was worse, much much worse.
He can't even talk straight, he can't walk straight, he can't think. Thomas, a man who has been nothing but brave and resilient his whole life is finally being broken down, and finally succumbing to fear. Which is something he truly, truly, never thought he'd be able to feel fully.
What did Anne say in the first season, "Fear can unmake a man" , and well...it's happening.
#wolf hall#thomas cromwell#mirror and the light#wolf hall spoilers#and the vast difference between s1 vs s2 stephen#oh he most CERTAINLY came as an enemy and a rival that is not backing down#it's not just that he dislikes thomas#he has already made it his personal goal to bring thomas down#it's not enough that thomas is sick because of him#its not enough that he is embarassing thomas ; he is going to make it his goal to kill him#he wants to make thomas afraid#he wants thomas to know that he has his position and his life in his hands - because that is how thomas made him feel in s1/the books#so he's giving it back#but worse#i know the huge focus is clearly between thomas and henry#but the main villain has entered the stage and he is psychologically torturing and breaking thomas down#and he absolutely loves how scared he makes thomas#which is absolutely gut wrenching#i have my personal thoughts about stephen's portrayal in wolf hall-he very much gets the anne boleyn treatment#buuuut im not gonna act like he isn't a compelling villain#and the ONLY one aside from Dorthea -who has been able to completely break and tear Thomas down#and render him completely helpless#he always knew how to break him and how to hit where it hurt#because they are so similiar and they don't even realize that#Do i like this stephen better than I do s1#NAUR#but i think he brings it
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#my godddd 😮💨❤️🩹#life is so beautiful you guysss#bless Sufjan's fucking precious mind😮💨🩷!!#everything written‚ produced and recorded by him + all the artwork and essays also by him!! he's everything!! ❤️🩹#the entire album sounds both familiar and new (like Goodbye Evergreen is literally how The Age of Adz goes from Futile Devices to Too Much!#sounds very atmospheric and melancholic and bittersweet but also dreamy and euphoric. and very gentle#and there's a sense of urgency and helplessness but the album ends in a very hopeful note which is so beautiful!!#lyrically is so impressive and breathtaking. man the way he feels everything so deeply 🫨❤️🩹#stunning compositions + so much heartbreak and existential despair and unsettling imagery and self-sacrifice#and distress and personal atonement and resignation and so much HOPE and LIFE and LIGHT#and also religious devotion (shocker i know lol)#and the Neil Young cover (shoot me!) is better than the original lol it's just so sweet and hopeful 💐#i really loved it so much!!#sufjan stevens#javelin#📓
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I NEED someone to animate that moment in six hundred strike as jon killing jonah/elias
#it fits so well!#“how does it feel to be helpless how does it feel to know pain”#“i watched my friends die in horror”#“look what you turned me into”#aaaahhhhh#one of the first things I thought of when I heard it honestly#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#jonah magnus#elias bouchard#which tag to I use for this fucker?#epic the musical#echoing thoughts#echoing thoughts tma#echoing thoughts epic
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Anyone still calling late game Katsuki an abuser in 2024 is just not paying attention. Full stop.
#bkdk#bakudeku#every time I see an anti post they try to define bkdk shippers as just masking their hate of Izuku#or as inappropriately labeling them as childhood friends and that being the basis of the whole ship#or as of acting on the hand hold scene LIKE KATSUKI DID FOR ELEVEN PLUS YEARS IN CANON without realizing that it went sour that first time#or as abuse apologists#they like to whittle katsuki down to the black and white bully even now#in 2024#after everything he’s done#all the growing#they like to whittle Izuku down to a helpless child who can’t find it in himself to stand up for himself#even though canon Izuku not only tolerates Katsuki’s moods#he appreciates him and understands him#and finds joy in being around him#literally I get it if you see them as platonic only#that’s so super chill and an excellent dynamic#but people throwing hate at bkdk shippers only ever out themselves as not understanding or comprehending or even knowing the source material#at all#on the surface Katsuki yells at izuku for literally nothing and it definitely rubs you the wrong way if you are only paying surface level#attention#but after dvk pt 2 he literally only yells because it’s familiar#it’s easier to respond that way than to cope with the guilt that’s eating him alive whenever he sees how happy Izuku is just to be around h#he’s flustered#he’s got a crush#but doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to understand what it is or how to deal yet#Katsuki Bakugo is a flawed character who puts in the work to change and if you’re not acknowledging that you are not paying attention#anyway#lol the post a while ago that said ‘if you ship bkdk just admit you hate Izuku and move on’??????#lol I love him so much AND I ship bkdk because canon tells me that’s what he wants#at least I’m paying attention enough not to think he has to be babified
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Look past the facade and see it for what it really is....
See them for what they really are.
(Or, what if Ink could see the creators and totally isn't maybe still a little resentful over being abandoned, haha, what made you think that?)
#the dynamic between ink and the 'creators' could be fun to explore more#how to you reconcile with being abandoned by your creator?#how do you cope with being left so helpless and alone and desperate that you just try to end your own suffering#and then you survive and ascend to become a guardian for an entire multiverse of creations#and you see all the versions of you who were fully realized given lives and friends and families#and know that you could've had that....but instead you now stand above it all unfathomably powerful but completely disconnected#more aware and completely in control of your destiny never forced to deal with the resets and genocide runs but also never truly 'whole'#anyways i just think some hidden resentment towards his situation and the creators could be an interesting trait to explore more#cadaver art#ink sans#ink!sans#utmv#undertale multiverse#undertale au#sans au
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