#I know I have it so lucky and fortunate compared to so many others. but that doesn’t make me any less miserable. just miserable and guilty

[decafvillain]

.

[citruslullabies]

Hola! I have not bad idea for u…

What if DogDay caught Y/N self-harming.? Something in the spirit of blood, but with a fluff at the end. It would be very interesting to read…

Thanks..✍️

I can do that!

Trigger warnings: ‼️HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS‼️BLOOD, SELF HARM, THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE AND DETAILED SKIN TRAUMA‼️ STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE BY THIS BY ANY MEANS! I AM NOT LIABLE IF YOU CONTINUE, KNOWING THESE ARE TRIGGERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Romantic/platonic: unspecified

Requested by: anonymous

Category: HEAVY. ANGST. READ WARNINGS.

Ship (romantic or platonic): Dogday x reader

Word count: 677

Leave My Skin to Rest

After the situation at Playco with fighting for your life and saving others, your mental health seemed to rapidly decline.

You knew you were safe and sound, but you knew many weren't as fortunate as you. And that hurt worse than you thought it would. The employees and children, the critters, the teachers. Every single one of them hadn't made it out alive, yet you did by some lucky shot at luck with a day you missed. The guilt weighed on you like nothing else had.

It was wrong to think this way, and you knew that. You hated yourself for making it out alive when many others didn't and a part of you wishes that you hadn't missed that dreadful day.

So the punishment for your survival and beating heart was on your skin, whether that be showers that are hotter than you can handle or squeezing your skin until it hurts, maybe even cutting or pulling hair out. Right now you were pinching your skin between your long fingernails that needed to be cut, as you started to lack self care and didn't find the means to cut them if you didn't chew on them. You were sitting on your bed with your trembling hand digging at the sensitive skin on your arms, pinching and picking while blood profusely tried to escape your body and trickle down.

Tears escaped your eyes, sniffling as you looked down at your poor skin. So red from irritation and blood, your fingers that kept doing the actions repeatedly were the same. You stared at the skin that looked as if it was rotting with birds pecking at it with a feeling of regret, like a sensation of feeling as if you deserved this for simply living while many had not.

You had saved a few, sure. But what's a few compared to thousands? It simply couldn't compare. You had spiraled down a hole like Alice and you couldn't get yourself out no matter the methods of trying to forget in a healthy way of trying to cope, you always came back to step one. And that was punishing your body for still existing instead of rotting.

Your breath hitched as you heard the click of your door, quickly trying to hide your arm as you saw a large canine walk in with a plate of dinner since you had missed their calls for you to come out, it looked like omelets. With some egg shells in it but omelets. You slowly looked up at Dogday, gulping and forcing a smile as well as you could. “H-hey.. can you just set the plate down? I'll eat it in a minute.” You spoke softly.

Your large companion nodded, smiling as he walked over despite your wishing for him to set it down on the desk beside your door. His tail was wagging, so he clearly made it and was excited for you to try it… but it seemed to slow down and stiffen up when he smelled something that was sadly familiar to his nose. “... Angel?” He asked softly.

He continued to sniff the air, watching you become nervous and awkward before he found the source. His eyes widened and he immediately panicked, taking your arm into his delicate paws to gaze upon it and think of a solution for your aching. “(Your name)!? What- what happened to you? Did you do this? Why?” He asked, his mind buzzing with questions as he hesitantly touched your wounds with a desire to heal them. He knew your skin was littered in scars, but he never knew any of them were your own personal doing. But those questions were what broke you; your normal upbeat persona had fallen and you were silent, before sniffling and breaking down. His soft fur caught your tears as you explained everything. He rubbed your back and shushed you, carefully taking you to the restroom and bandaging you up as he continued to let you cry against him.

He wanted you to know that everything would be alright.

Thank you for requesting!

If you ever feel this way please call a national suicidal helpline, which is the number 9-8-8 I believe. You are not alone. And you are loved.

[newtonsheffield]

Molly, just look at how close they are holding each other compared to the other couples in the background. And Anthony looks like he's still in awe of her a year later.

The hilarious thing is Anthony has always been about maintaining no his family’s image in society. Season 1, that was his mission in life. Same to some extent in Season 2. He wanted to find a wife who would uphold the Bridgerton family name respectfully.

Now here he is, inviting His Beautiful Wife to do the regency equivalent of grinding followed by a slut drop.

Anthony, my man, no one’s going to take her off you again. I just know that this man has bodily stepped in front of other men talking to his wife in case it leads to a dance. And Kate probably lets him because he has a charming twinkle in his eye and she actually loves dancing with him. She kind of loves that while so many women’s husbands retire to drink brandy and gamble away the moment that should be set aside for their children if they even attend at all her husband is not.

Her husband has been kind to his sisters, commiserating that they don’t want to dance with foolish gentlemen and then he seeks her out. He finds time for her in his evening. She doesn’t even have to beg him to dance with her. It’s always his idea and the way he holds her still leaves her a little breathless, even a year into their marriage. He deposits her back with his mother or his brothers or sisters before he leans in and lets his lips brush her cheek before he murmurs in her ear.

“I’ll get you something to drink, Love. You look awfully flushed.”

There’s that annoying, cheeky, twinkle in his eyes when he pulls back, the same charming smile that slides right off his face when Benedict smirks,

“Can I have a drink, brother?”

Anthony blinked at him, “Of course you can. Fortunately, you’ve been blessed with two legs and two arms to fetch it yourself with.” He turned to the other ladies present. “Mother, Lady Danbury? Could Benedict and I fetch you a drink as well?”

Benedict grumbled something about being treated like a pack horse as Anthony tugged him away and the way Anthony winked at her before he left made her cheeks flush stupidly again. And it’s not long until the other ladies of the ton descend.

“Lady Bridgerton, we’ve not seen you since the wedding. The viscount seems… awfully enamored. Whatever is your trick?”

Kate laughed, feeling a little sad for these women who were never lucky enough to find the person who felt like their other half. She wouldn’t have done either were it not for a twist of fate. “There’s not any trick. He and I simply… enjoy one another’s company.”

“Lord, but isn’t it awfully hard work having him around all the time? Send him back to the country if you need a break.”

Kate bit off a surprised chuckle, “I must confess I’m yet to grow tired of him. Even when he’s a little grumpy he’s awfully amusing.”

“Ahh Ladies!” Anthony said as though having to fight through the crowd of women to get back to his wife was something that delighted him rather than annoyed him. “My dear brother was just saying how little he’d had to fortune to dance this evening. Perhaps you’ve your dance cards at the ready for him.”

Benedict looked as though he’d murder Anthony the next time they were alone and Kate didn’t bother to bite back her smile as Anthony giggled. The noise several years younger than he was. As though in this he was still the cheeky boy who’d helped his father put glue in Benedict’s shoes.

“And you? My Lord?”

Anthony sighed disappointedly, “I’m sorry to say that Lady Bridgerton has claimed all of my dances this evening.” He turned to Kate, grinning wickedly, “Love, you’re still looking flushed. Perhaps you should drink your lemonade in the fresh air.”

Kate nodded, “I think so, Darling.”

He tucked her hand into his arm, one hand still holding her glass and swept her away towards the garden without another word.

“Benedict is going to be cross with you.”

Anthony giggled again, “yes, he is. Especially because the actual conversation we had involved him asking you to dance to avoid those very women.”

“You’re feeling very cheeky tonight.”

Anthony let out a faux gasp. “Nonsense… I simply thought you might prefer to… inspect the maze in Lady Trowbridge’s garden. There’s some very… dark parts to it. I might need help noticing the flowers.”

“Yes, I suppose you will. You best show me then.”

As soon as they were out of sight, Anthony picked her up and ran into the maze.

[lightlycareless]

Don't mind me, I'm just posting a little something that I had in mind, a continuation of Naoya's and Y/N's many HS adventures :) in other words, their first official Valentine's Day.

warnings: fluff. a tiny small hint of smut, implied by someone else. please read this part first followed by this other one to get the full picture!! and I guess this too.

Happy reading :)

Your first valentine’s day with Naoya—like, the actual one and not the fiasco that transpired last year—is one that has you very excited. And how couldn’t you?! Naoya had been very… enigmatic when preparing you for today.

“Clear out your schedule after school, princess. All the way down to the weekend.”

“Huh? Why?” you ask, feigning ignorance—as if you weren’t waiting for this exact moment since you started dating him. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

But you couldn’t wait! Not at all! In fact, such was your excitement that you could barely get any sleep— it was a miracle that you managed to get a few hours of rest before eagerly jumping out of bed, getting ready, and subsequently making your way to class while fervently imagining all the surprises Naoya had in store for you.

Well, whatever it was, there was no doubt in your mind that it would be much better than whatever your classmates discussed—glad that you no longer felt out of the conversation, not entirely that is, for you still had to figure out what your boyfriend was planning…

Thankfully, it wouldn’t take long for you to see the first details of his extensive itinerary, much to your eventual embarrassment.

It would begin with the so-called cupid’s mail service, a way for the student council to take advantage of help couples who wished to send gifts to their significant other’s while raising funds for whatever expenses they might have—such as graduation costs, school trips, so on and so forth.

Last year you were undoubtedly upset for not being sent anything throughout the day, so this time around, Naoya made it his personal mission to not let that happen again, under any circumstance!

And what extravagant way to assure so.

“Senseeeeei, can you give us a moment to deliver the mail?”

Teachers were no strangers to the excessive ways enamored students got to be when prompted—however, none of them had experienced a besotted Naoya, an heir with all possibilities within his grasp motivated to impress his beloved.

“Sure, go ahead.” The sensei responded, barely glancing at the mountain of gifts that made him assume they’d be here for a long time and returning to the blackboard; readying whatever subject followed to retake class once they were gone.

However, as soon as he began his attention would be forced back onto the students the moment they collectively gasped, realizing that the gifts didn’t pertain to various senders, no. Only one—and with a sole receiver too: you.

“All this for you, Y/N, how lucky!” Mei Mei says while placing down a large bouquet of red roses on your desk. “To think that last year you didn’t get a single thing until the very end… you truly are one fortunate girl.”

“Is this—is this really all for me?” You murmur, still in disbelief that Naoya had gone above and beyond with his gifts—but isn’t he always like this, though?

“Oh, this is just for the first class, your beloved boyfriend scheduled more for later.”

“Wh—what?” you breathe, turning even redder, comparable to the roses in front of you. Mei Mei chuckles at the curious sight. “M—more?”

“Don’t forget the note.” she says, plucking an envelope from the bouquet and handing it over to you. “Now, say cheese~”

“Huh, what now?” You stammer, then startled by the bright flash of her cellphone, recollecting the so-called proof Naoya demanded of the goods being delivered—he didn’t want to risk being played the same card he applied last year, this was only a necessary request.

“Well, my job here is done. Have a nice Valentine’s Day, Y/N; Naoya sure is expecting you to have one.”

…

…

…

“Need another desk?” The teacher would suggest after seeing you awkwardly trying to continue with your work through all the items cluttering your counter.

“…yes, please.”

And as Mei Mei promised, more gifts came soon after—from expensive boxes of chocolate from brands you’ve never even heard of in your life, to jewelry and other things you once mentioned wanting before: like a new case for your phone, a cute shirt you saw at the mall (with an additional gift card of a exuberant amount in it if you wished more) and of course, all the mochi you could eat.

Everyone around you wouldn’t take long to begin murmuring about your situation, commenting on how they never expected Naoya to be so passionate about his girlfriend—or anything that wasn’t berating others!

Yet, here he was, spoiling you with all things unimaginable, and that was barely to be the tip of the iceberg.

“Well, at least Naoya had the decency to help you move all these things to your dorm” Shoko commented as she watched the group of students Mei Mei ordered to relocate all of your gifts, work. “Don’t think you would’ve been able to do all that by yourself.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” you breathe, still embarrassed by all that transpired. Being the center of attention is something you never handled well, and more often than not, you tried to pass under the radar.

And yet, as much as you disliked it, it was impossible for you to not enjoy it this time around, for it came from something so sweet as your boyfriend wanting to show his ever-growing adoration for you.

“All this is so excessive, Y/N. I can’t help but wonder what you gave him to evoke all this?”

“I don’t recall anything in particular… I just gave him some chocolates I made.” You murmur, Shoko chuckles. “What?”

“It’s ok, no need to act coy with me. I just know you must’ve given it to him real good.”

“Oh. My. God. Shoko!” you gasp, eyes wide as your friend added onto your embarrassment. Just what you needed!

“Ugh, that is so gross.” Satoru would scowl; the only reason why he was around was to check if the rumors were true, see if Naoya had truly become even more unhinged in the name of love. “I would never do anything like that for a woman.”

“Mmm… maybe not for a woman; but what about a man?” Shoko teases, Gojo quickly becomes flustered, doing what many couldn’t: silence him. “That’s what I thought.”

“Whatever… at least I’m not the one being humiliated—look.” Satoru would then nudge to the person standing by the end of the hallway—a nervous Naoya waiting for you while holding another bouquet of flowers, this time purple roses accompanied by a small Gengar plush in the middle; a sight that has you freezing on the spot, overwhelmed by his seemingly endless gestures of appreciation and all those that were to come.

“We’ll leave you two alone.” Shoko says, grabbing Satoru by the arm and pulling him away. “Have fun!”

“Thanks, Shoko.” You murmur before shyly making your way towards your boyfriend, staring at him for a few seconds, finding the right words to say before settling for a simple greeting. “He—Hey, Naoya…”

“Hello, princess.” Naoya manages to say through the tightness of his throat, excited to see you after a long day of schoolwork, and worried that you might’ve not liked his gifts.

That, of course, is something that wouldn’t perturb him much longer after seeing the way you happily received the flowers from his grasp, a wider smile on your lips as you relished their smell and decoration.

“Did you like your gifts?” He asks, placing his arm around your waist and pulling you closer; your heart skips a beat as you lean into him.

“Ye—yeah… I liked all of them.” You admit with a nod. “They were… really nice. Thank you.”

“I wanted to make it up to you, for the shame I put you through last year.”

“Oh, Naoya—don’t say that.” You fret, wanting to leave that in the past. “It was nothing but a misunderstanding…”

“I still made you feel bad, and that is something I will never forgive myself for.”

“Well, if you must know… today succeed all Valentine’s days I’ve ever had.” You happily declare, much to Naoya’s unexpected concern.

“I fear I might’ve shoot myself on the foot, then.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve set the bar too high, I’m not sure if I’ll be capable of surprising you next year.”

“Just spending the day with you is enough for me.” You gently reassure, making Naoya’s heart melt.

“Then I think what I have planned next might be of your liking.”

“Wait, you have more?”

“I did ask you to clear out your schedule for the rest of the week, didn’t I?” Naoya teases,

“Yes…”

He then reaches for his pocket to take out a set of two tickets—the biggest surprise yet.

“I got us a reservation to visit that park you wanted to go to—Disneyland, I believe? From the accommodations to the transportation, I’ve taken care of everything, all my pretty princess needs to do is be ready by—wait, Y/N? Y/N!”

You don’t remember much after that, outside of an overwhelming shock and happiness that deafened and blinded your senses, leading you to assume that you simply… passed out.

[villainessprefect]

~Tell It to My Heart~

title: Whisper of the Heart

Prompt #3: Telling them “I love you” while they’re asleep.

Azul x gn!reader

Read on AO3

You truly must be a very fortunate soul. Not just anyone is granted entry into the Azul Ashengrotto's dorm room. And being offered the opportunity to stay the night too? Perhaps the sea witch had blessed you.

His room is quite lavish compared to yours. Although, that could be said for any room outside of Ramshackle. But it felt as if you'd stepped into the room of a five-star hotel. It's spacious, well-kept, and not a speck of dust in sight. It's grand yet simple at the same time. Not overly decorated but has his personal touch. The coin collection hanging on the wall is what really catches your eye and you have to admit that it suits him perfectly.

The bed is big enough for two and he offered the spot beside him. You were his guest after all and he wouldn't have you sleeping on the floor or anywhere else. You wanted to decline, but the housewarden insisted. Eventually, you cave.

When your body meets with the fluffy bed, you find yourself melting into the sheets. It's soft and molds to your body. It's almost too comfortable for you. Luckily, you have nothing to be afraid of, no one to fear while here. Sleep comes easily tonight.

Despite the comfort, you still find yourself waking up in the middle of the night. Whether it's just due to poor sleeping habits or adjusting to unfamiliar territory, you can't return to the land of unconsciousness.

Slowly, you remove yourself from the bed. You're careful not to upset the one beside you. A quick glance shows that he's curled up on the other side of the bed, back facing yours as he remains still. With quiet footsteps, you make your way to get some water. A spare glass is brought for him. It's set down on his bedside. Before you can make your way to your side of the bed, you pause.

His features are captivating. Azul is beautiful. Just the mere sight causes your heart to pound against your chest. You place a hand over it in an attempt to silence the beating. He is a man of many talents. He's hardworking and devoted. Never succumbs to any bumps on his neatly woven path.

Yes, you're aware that he isn't perfect. Despite his gentlemanly ways, he can be quite shrewd. While his deals can sometimes seem innocent, he's always thinking ten steps ahead and knows it will benefit him in the end.

Despite it all, he's made his way into your heart.

You shouldn't test your luck. You're lucky enough to be here. But this is a chance you have to take. A hand reaches out to push back a strand of his gray hair that had fallen over his face. You're granted a better view of him now, so peaceful and different from the serious, hardworking look he wears so often. Oh, how this is a sight you wish you could see more often.

Seeing as your faint touch hadn't woken him up, you go for a bolder approach. Light fingers push back his bangs as you press your lips against his forehead. They brush against his skin and while you learn to linger, you pull back.

"I love you, Azul," you whisper.

You smile and take a step back. It's as if nothing ever happened. He still remains asleep, blessed by your magical touch. You can feel your cheeks burning, but the darkness permits its safety and not just for concealing your blush. Deciding that it's best not to indulge any further, you return to your side of the bed.

Little did you know that your movements had caused Azul to stir. His mind urged him to wake up while his body fought to stay in place. Worry racked at his bones. The fear of what would cause you to leave his side struck his mind. You weren't the type to leave unexpectedly, you would have a reason. But why leave him?

The sound of returning footsteps put him at ease. And just as he was about to drift back off to sleep, he felt something touch him. And then he heard your voice utter those three little words followed by his name.

He has to be dreaming, right?

He doesn't move, doesn't react. The slow realization that he's conscious and your actions were real settled in his mind. Only after you've settled back beside him does he open his eyes. Everything is in place and for a moment, he thinks it is all a dream. But then he catches sight of a glass of water.

Azul holds his breath and a hand moves to clutch at his chest. His heart races rapidly and he feels as if he could scream out in joy at the truth. But, you're still here, it's still the dead of night, and he can't dare to wake you and make a fool of himself. Besides, if he did then he would be making your secret known. The octopus needs to play his cards right and get those lovely words out of your mouth again, but at a time when you're both fully conscious and he can give a proper response.

Sleeping is an impossible task now. It hurts that he can't turn around and pull you into a loving embrace. To keep you close and feel your warmth- that would be a dream come true. Now he has time to plan for tomorrow. You've unknowingly asked him for a wish and he will grant it. Without a price.

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week In Review XVI & 2023 Wrapped

I feel like 2023 just started five minutes ago, am I the only one who feels like this year as passed by quickly but at the same time dragged its heels?

I've seen so many lovely end of year close out posts and years in review. I toyed with how I wanted to close out the year and what I could say that could sum it up sufficiently.

Betty rambles under the cut with this weeks reads if you're interested...

2023 has been a weird year if I'm entirely honest and somewhat isolating. I returned from mat leave, back to working from home, and having to scramble to make adjustments when things fell through. Which resulted in Mr. Truly and I working opposite shifts to ensure the S.S. Truly stayed afloat.

But during the last six months somehow I made it back to Tumblr, to an old account from way back when - pre-dating when the Canucks made it to game seven kinda old - I blew off the dust, cleaned house and made myself a little space. I still don't know 100% how it all happened, though I think it started with the Reddit forum.

You don't need to know the whole spiel about Pedro, because while we're here because of him, it's the community that holds us here. After floating and not really knowing what I was doing, I started to make connections within this community and finding a seat at the table (we'll come back to that) and I found joy again. I'd kinda lost myself in the fog that is half a dozen other titles/roles others looked to me as that had replaced just Betty.

I started writing, hadn't done that in years. I rekindled by love for graphic design, what I went to school for. I was reading books again, as well as so many great fanfics here. I even bought poetry books, something I hadn't done since I don't know when.

I've been really fortunate in my experience that I've encountered so many wonderful people. I may not get to be as social as I'd like to be, and I still have a fear of dropping into DM's & Asks unannounced. I have the shittest memory, if I don't keep a tab open or reply straight away it's sometimes days or weeks before I remember again. But I really hope that I've returned in kind what others have given me because I'd hate for anyone to feel like they don't belong here, because you do.

This community is a table (told you I'd come back) and it's size is immeasurable. It has no bounds and there's always room for whatever kind of chair you pull up and if you don't have one? We'll find one. Need to leave for a while? We'll save your seat. This my friends is a community, and if you're met with those who tell you the table is full, I'm telling you now, they're not a part of it.

Are there going to be those with more notes? Yes. Are there going to be people you're going to compare your writing to? Yes. Are you going to maybe want to pack it all in and delete your masterlist now and then? Yes.

But none of that takes away anything that makes you, you and what you bring to the table.

Life is hard enough without the added pressure of thinking you need to score imaginary internet points with stats and metrics that carry no value. I wish I knew the magic formula, because I'm still trying to figure it out myself, but let's try and be kinder to ourselves eh?

But I'm really going into 2024 with the goal of curating my own joy - whether it be indulging in the fanfics I want to write and read, more obnoxious coffees, a new fountain pen, giving myself permission to buy the fancy notebook, get back to baking or binging both seasons of Julia and pretending I can make one of her recipes.

So to sum it up, before this goes into a further incoherent ramble, this year has been about reaching out, starting connections and building something meaningful. I've met some amazing people that I am lucky to call friends and without their kindness and extending a seat at the table I'm not sure I'd still be around these parts.

Here's to more of that in 2024 - while I'm not always the best at replying to messages, my DM's and Ask's are always open, feel free to drop in at any time 💕

Pedro Tax™️ for your time...

T R U L Y  U P D A T E S . . .

December x 500 is complete-ish? Thanks to being sick towards the end of the month there's three entries missing, but I'm hoping to sneak them in during the new year! I'm looking forward to a quieter writing schedule that's for sure!

W H A T  I  R E A D . . . Didn't read as much as I wanted to this week - but I'm off this next week, so hoping to do a little more and get through some of my TBR list!

All I Want for Christmas (Frankie) by @morallyinept This was a delightful festive meet-cute that had me on the edge of my seat and also explores the character of Frankie and the ramifications of his actions on his friendships and his ex. 

All I Want (Will Miller) by @laurfilijames This was a bittersweet one-shot that touched on the idea that the festive season isn’t always for everyone and that you never know what’s going on with someone. 

I Put My Book Down to Be Here (Dieter) by @frenchiereading My first New Year’s Eve fic I’ve read this season and it’s so sweet and has a soft Dieter (my fave), who is still his chaotic self! I loved this from start to finish and such a great meet-cute!

Had Me Fooled (Dave) by @wildemaven Heidi has done such an amazing job with this mini series that can be read as a standalone or as a series. I love a soft Dave and Heidi does it so well. This last one had my toes curling in all their romantic glory and I will be revisiting this series again I'm sure!

Reunions (The Thief) by @ladamedusoif I'm behind on Rose's December prompts, but this was the steamy follow up to My Kiss, Only For You (go read that first, no seriously, go read it) and it was so delectable and my greedy self hopes we see these two again in the future.

Cookies (Tim) by @ladamedusoif Speaking of delicious things, this was as indulgent and sweet as the cookies made in this fic. Tim was one of the characters I didn't see becoming such a favourite this year - but I love seeing everyone's interpretation of him. This one here? In my top ranked versions 🫠

So here's to 2024!

Thank you for every interaction, reblog, or tag - every single one is held clutched to my heart in appreciation every time!

Stay safe, and whatever you're doing or wherever you are sending you much love!

[runwayrunway]

No. 50 - All Nippon Airways Airbus A380 "Flying Honu" Livery

Happy 50th Runway Runway post! I had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do for it - after all, it's a pretty significant number. I already sort of know what I want to do for the 100th post, but I hadn't put much thought into the 50th, and I had to scuttle any plans for something long and interesting after a rather stressful week. Instead I decided to do something both fun and requested!

source: ANA Stories

One (well, three!) of the most beloved special liveries out there, All Nippon Airways' turtle-themed "Flying Honu" Airbus A380. These three friendly giants fly from Japan to Honolulu, delighting anyone lucky enough to see them.

Actually, I love the Flying Honu so much I have one myself.

I would describe myself as a bit of a magpie. I collect useless things, be they historical ephemera, horror movie memorabilia, old books, pretty rocks, or way too many fountain pen inks given I mostly use them to take notes. I even have a bunch of my old teeth in a pillbox. Surprisingly, though, the things my talons have lodged in don't include many model airplanes. I have...a few. I've actually, though serendipity, gotten two more since I started this blog, expanding my collection to a startling five. Maybe seven if you count my Starscream and Brainstorm figures, but I don't think I even remember how to put either of them in their alt modes. The fact is that while they aren't a fortune or anything plane figures are expensive enough that it's a commitment to buy one, and I usually only do when I stumble on a good deal for a model I really want. And one of the few times I've actually decided that I just needed a model of a specific livery was the "Flying Honu" A380. Specifically, the one I have is the airframe registered JA382A, Kai. (She's the 1:500 JC Wings diecast model and is around the size of my hand.)

I just needed to be able to gently tap her nose in person, okay? She can't fit up on the shelf with a lot of my other miscellaneous trinkets so she sits on my desk and sometimes I explain things to her while trying to figure them out, like a coding rubber duck. She makes me happy.

All Nippon Airways (全日本空輸) is a major Japanese airline. In fact, in terms of both fleet size and number of destinations they're bigger than flag carrier JAL. They're consistently described as being among the best airlines in the world for the discerning well-to-do business traveler, and let's just say that's not me, but what I am is a reviewer of airline liveries, and ANA sure has those! In addition to their standard Triton Blue livery they do all sorts of special designs, particularly crossovers with properties like Pokémon and Star Wars. All of these are something I would like to someday feature, but none of them matter at all to me when compared to the Flying Honu, introduced with the A380 fleet in 2019.

A couple of times when I've told people I know about this livery they asked me if 'honu' is Japanese for 'turtle'. That's a reasonable question, but the Japanese word for turtle is 'kame'. 'Honu' is the word for turtle, though - in Hawaiian.

image: ANA

In fact, Honolulu is the A380s' only destination. ANA didn't really want A380s to begin with, but ended up stuck with them while acquiring another airline. The thing about the A380, and the reason it failed commercially and so few were ever built, is that the use-case for a massive plane is pretty limited. It goes as such: you have a passengerbase of people who have to travel from one giant hub that can land an A380 to another frequently enough that you can actually make money on a plane with four entire engines.

Okay, so the use-case is that you're Emirates. ANA might be expensive, but they don't really have the central location or sheer amount of regular business travelers that Dubai does. 'Three' also isn't really that many A380s, which creates a bit of a question of reliability. So instead they fixed the problem in a way that's honestly pretty genius: they made it turtles.

image: ANA

ANA seems to be generally invested in Hawaii, with a fair amount of partnerships with local organizations. A lot of Hawaiian real estate is owned by Japanese companies, and those of Japanese descent are the second-larget ethnic group in Hawaii at 16.7%, so it makes sense that a lot of people would want to travel there. Tokyo to Honolulu is a nice 9-hour flight with no possibility for a stopover of any kind (unless they invent civilian aircraft carriers for A380s), so it's the perfect route for precisely three really huge planes.

images: ANA

They can fit 520 passengers across four classes on one flight, seated across both decks of the massive planes. There is also a section of seats which convert to couches, marketed for families. Those who fly this route get to enjoy rainbow lighting and the ability to buy a duty-free 1:500 model of the plane (not the same model I have, though, I'm pretty sure) or a set of Flying Honu plushes.

Ra looks like she's plotting something. Lani looks like she's never had a single thought in her life.

And they do make money off this, because people absolutely love these planes. People have apparently had their weddings on these planes, and I would too! They make ten weekly flights right now, but in December that will be increasing to fourteen weekly, or two daily.

Okay, so, the actual liveries.

Here's Kai in full-size! The light in my room make her look way cooler toned in the photographs, but in real life she's this color. It's frequently described as 'green' or 'emerald green', but I think it's definitely turquoise and would go so far as to call it blue. Whatever the case, it's meant to represent the color of the sea near Hawaii. Kai is also distinct from the others because of her eyes, which are closed as she smiles from ear to ear. That's why she's my favorite - she just looks so happy!

...a bit weirder looking from upfront, but look how even the ventral fairing is painted! That's part of the flippers where they curl around, tucked into the shell. Unlike the Transocean Air Jinbei Jets, the cockpit windows blend in with the 'scales' of the Flying Honu, looking rather natural.

'Ra' is a beautiful orange, meant to represent the Hawaiian sunset. She has a bit of a peach undertone if you look closely, but her details are done in an extremely vivid reddish orange. Her distinguishing feature are those gigantic eyelashes, similar to Sakura Jinbei's. The actual mouth shape on all three planes appears to be the same, but I find that the eyes still give them distinct 'personalities'. Ra has always looked very thoughtful to me.

Just look at her in flight! I've never understood why people call the 747 stately or graceful, and same for the A380 - double-decker planes are just inherently goofy-looking, and that's great, but ANA managed to make one look pretty elegant. I think it's because turtles are already regarded as large and slow creatures, so fitting like for like just makes it seem as natural for this absolutely gigantic aircraft to be flying as it is for a turtle to swim.

Finally, Lani, the turtle everyone agrees to be blue, represents the Hawaiian sky during its brightest color in daylight. If you look closely, you can see her blue 'eyeshadow', which I've always thought made her look relaxed.

This picture gives a good angle of my only real critique of the Flying Honu, which is that the shells and heads don't entirely look aligned, as if the head is in the process of being retracted. That said, I think that's just a fact of working with the shape of an airplane. There's just no more space below to fit any more shell.

Rather than being just one turtle, though, each "Flying Honu" has two fully rendered baby turtles following behind their 'mother'.

I think this is adorable, and beyond that it solves a crucial problem - the tail. Turtles do have those, but not in a way that maps onto a standard empennage. Instead, ANA makes the smart choice to end the shell at a certain point and add these two extra turtles make-way-for-ducklings-ing their way across the fuselage for more visual interest, leaving the tail empty for an ANA logo without making it jarring. This is a huge improvement over the Jinbei Jets, which again serve as a point of comparison as the other major Japanese marine life planes. (Amakusa Airlines is way smaller and thus not going to get caught up in this.)

I mean, it's hard to find too much to say about these that isn't just "oh my gosh, look at them". The Flying Honu are vividly colored, with clever shapes used to make them immediately recognizable as turtles. I smile every time I see one, including the little one on my desk!

And in case you weren't already delighted, there's two extra bonus turtles!

I think it's pretty obvious I'm giving these an A+. Come on, just...just look at them. The fact that ANA bothered to make three distinct ones with their own names and faces is just icing on the cake for me, but I do love that they did.

I can't believe I didn't find a way to fit this in earlier into the post, but I really love turtles. If you have an aquarium near you, and that aquarium has turtles, I really recommend stopping by to see them. My local New England Aquarium has had Myrtle for more than 50 years. As they describe her, 'the 550-lb Queen of the Giant Ocean Tank is large, in charge, and ready to receive your adoration'.

True to form, although a lot larger and dealing in a different type of fluid dynamics, the Flying Honu jets get plenty of my adoration too.

[gartenofbanny]

Chaz is a nothing character (Chaz Rant)

Chazwick Thurman is one of the two main antagonists in EXES and OHS alongside Crimson. I am going to make a blog in the future sharing my thoughts about Crimson. For this one, I’m going to talk about why I do not like Chaz at all and why I honestly don't even consider him to be a character of his own.

Ⅰ. He shares the same traits as many characters

One of the main things that lead me to conclude that Chaz doesn't have any defining character that sets him apart from the rest of the characters in Helluva Boss is that he shares the same character traits with the majority of the characters. That being he's horny and greedy. Those two traits are something that the majority of the characters in Helluva Boss share.

Stolas is horny, Blitzo is horny and greedy, Verosika is horny and somewhat greedy, Crimson is greedy, Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are most definitely horny, Cash Buckzo is greedy, and Martha is horny.

Those are characters I listed from the top of my head within the show and that's like a small portion of the total roster. The difference between those characters and Chaz is that Chaz doesn't have any uniqueness or anything that makes him stand out. The only thing that makes him stand out is that he's Moxxie and Millie's EX, but that barely matters because it's revealed that he will just sleep with anyone with no hesitation. Plus we never even got to see what he did that made Millie so pissed off in the first place, so we can just say that he's Moxxie's EX and move on.

Ⅱ. He's weak

Despite being a former member of Crimson's Mafia, Chaz is the most pathetic and weakest antagonist in Helluva Boss thus far. He's really afraid of Millie and cowers in fear whenever she goes crazy to the point that he hides behind his boss who's probably physically weaker than him for protection and he got killed by Crimson not long after Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo escaped.

I honestly have no idea how this guy managed to get into Crimson's Mafia because he's literally the least threatening antagonist in the series and nothing can really convince me otherwise. You can argue that he can beat up Moxxie, but who couldn't? Even if he does he can't really stand up to Millie, he'll get turned into sushi.

Ⅲ. He's pretty stupid

I'd forgive the not being physically strong, if Chaz had some form of intelligence to him, but low and behold, he doesn't. Meaning that since he isn't threatening in the physical or mental department he's just an antagonist with no worth and what leads me to conclude this is his plan.

Chaz's plan sucks ass because it doesn't have much thought put into it and somehow Chaz really did expect it to work out. The first step was to rent a suit which is decent compared to the other steps.

His second step in his plan is to convince Crimson that he's rich, and he's extremely lucky that worked because as mentioned in previous posts, Crimson didn't check if Chaz was telling the truth or not because if Crimson did check if Chaz was telling the truth then Chaz would've died before the events of EXES and OHS.

His third step is to marry Moxxie and he should have believed that it would never work since Chaz literally left him behind the last time they saw each other. But it doesn't matter because Crimson did eventually force Moxxie into nearly marrying Chaz.

And the step that pisses me off the most is the fourth step being "???", like I know this is for the meme and all that, but the man is literally risking his life to steal the fortune of the most infamous mob boss in all of the Greed Ring. Chaz was not thinking ahead at all when making his plan.

And his 5th and last step is to profit, but how is he gonna profit if he doesn't have a 4th step? I would assume the 4th step involves him taking the money, but he doesn't know how to even do that.

It's extremely lucky that Chaz had managed to get past the second step of his plan and into the third step because of the writers hadn't decided to make Crimson dumb for the plot then Chaz would've not made an appearance in Helluva Boss. If Crimson was smart and if the writers decided to give Chaz an appearance then I'm pretty sure the only thing that would've appeared was Chaz's jaws mounted on Crimson's wall.

Ⅳ. His true purpose

Vivziepop stated in tweet on Twitter that Chaz was supposed to be an example that the show was not afraid of killing off characters. This is honestly a really bad example to make out of a character that died in the same episode they made their debut. Chaz is an absolutely horrendous character and when I saw his teeth about to be hung up on Crimson's wall, I was joyful because of how bland and annoying he was.

Usually, when creators of shows or other forms of fiction kill off characters to show that they're not afraid to kill off characters in stories, they usually use characters that are well-developed and actually well liked within the community or characters that go through development in the arc they are introduced and are suddenly killed off. A great example of this is Junpei from Jujutsu Kaisen. Junpei is a character in JJK introduced in the "Vs Mahito" Arc and is one of the central characters of that arc from Chapter 18 to Chapter 27 in the manga. A kid with issues in school who has the innate ability to see curses and used cursed techniques, but due to the manipulation of the main antagonist, the sudden death of his mother and the past trauma he had due to bullying in his school, Junpei uses his newfound abilities for evil such as attempting to kill his bullies. It isn't only until Yuji Itadori, the series’ main protagonist talks him out of becoming a mass murderer, but it's too late. The manipulator, Mahito suddenly kills Junpei giving him a slow and agonizing death.

And when Junpei eventually dies, that's when it becomes impactful because overtime we've learned to understand where that character was coming from and the potential he could've had if he stayed alive.

Not to mention the death itself was emotionally painful and disturbing to see.

There's no motivation for Chaz getting the money aside from the fact he's poor but if he really needs that money, he would've robbed another place instead of attempting to rob an infamous mob boss that's known to kill people who cross him. I don't understand why Chaz wants to steal Crimson's money specifically because if he had a deeper motive then it should've at least been revealed within the episode, but there was not a deeper motive. Lastly, I most definitely do not like Chaz and I can't relate to him because he's really insufferable and I honestly don't know anyone who's similar to Chaz who isn't in jail right now.

Vivziepop introduced Chaz in one episode and in that SAME episode, she killed him off without giving him any development to his character or even giving him a character at all. If Chaz was revealed in the series to show that the writers aren't afraid to kill off characters, then why didn't they develop him within the episode? It also doesn't make it any better that Vivziepop has killed off antagonists in the show that being Martha and her family who were also revealed and died in the same episode, so I do not care about the "We're not afraid of killing off characters" thing when the only characters you kill off are bland characters or characters you don't know what to do with. Because I am not sure if Martha and her family will appear in the series again as Sinners.

Also, just a nitpick here, but how are you gonna say that you're not afraid to kill off characters when you're not going to show how they died? Because Chaz's death was literally off-screen.

Conclusion

It's very disappointing to see what the writers have done with Chaz because as always he could've been a potentially interesting character. Chaz being the ex of Moxxie and Millie, two characters who have the most functional relationship in the entire series was interesting but all they did was just made him into a sex-crazed dumbass. I'm glad that they killed him off because it would've been really annoying just to see him in another episode. Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day!

[silent-sanctum]

Entries from the Sidelines - Jotaro x Reader

Synopsis: A series of journal entries from a random student that is simping over you, not knowing that you were no longer free to date thanks to one menacing delinquent.

November 14, 1988

You won’t understand it at first but there are 2 things that are currently taking over my life right now.

The first one is weird and that’s me being able to see… ghosts? Demons? Spirits? I don’t know but I see them sometimes on a few people and they can do stuff. And then there’s my ghost.

Yeah. Yeah, I have my own personal ghost and I’m not sure if me having one is wackier or others having one is. Though gotta say my ghost is pretty lame and useless compared to the rest. It’s just some sort of magical keychain that doesn’t do anything but transform into ordinary stationary.

But enough of that, there’s still the second thing.

I have a crush. Like a massive crush on this girl who’s my classmate and former groupmate that one time.

Her name’s Y/N L/N and she’s one of the most talked about students around school and for multiple reasons.

Where do I begin about her? She’s really pretty and majority of the guys thinks so too. She does well in her studies. She’s friendly and welcoming. And I’ve heard she can sing too! I wish I could hear what she sounded like.

There must be something she had done for those 50 days of absence last year for her to improve this much compared to when I first saw her.

Talk about her absence was the gossip of the school, together with that scary delinquent who also was absent for 50 days. Many speculated they sort of cut classes together but I believe those were just rumors jealous girls made up so they wouldn’t think of that student as anything but single.

Though honestly seeing a guy and girl absent for the same number of days does seem suspicious, so I don’t blame them.

I should start connecting with her sometime soon, get that social points you know? And maybe by February or March, I’ll be able to confess my feelings to her.

Wish me luck!

December 14, 1988

Oh my god I actually managed to talk to her for the first time since our group project.

I intended to start as soon as possible and so I waited for the perfect time to approach her, and by appropriate time, I meant sometime around our snack or lunch break, or if I’m lucky, I’d be able to finish club activities and meet with her after classes.

So let me tell you how our conversation went.

After I mustered enough courage, I sought her out on one eventful snack break. Evaluating my performance, I did a pretty crappy job.

I stuttered a lot, my cheeks were fuming like crazy, and I couldn’t hold eye contact for more than 5 seconds. Fortunately for me, she was super understanding of my incapability to speak straight and that just made me even fall harder for her.

For that past hour, she picked up all of what I wanted to say through my broken sentences and even I was looking like a complete and utter fool, she wasn’t fazed by it at all and she even smiled at my goofiness. SMILED. Can you believe that?!

What a win, am I right? Well, here’s a bigger win: She can see my ghost thingy!

She called it a “Stand”? For some reason? But she was surprised that I had one, I asked why, and holy crap, she had one too! It was way cooler than mine- indestructible fabrics that she can shoot out or shield her body with.

A double win for me that day!

So, after that break, I was determined to maintain this friendly rapport we had so I urged myself to tell her If it was alright if we kept meeting up like this, and she said it was fine! I am making progress with her in no time. When she wasn’t too busy, we would meet up often on snack breaks and the seldom after-hours period.

Though I gotta say, after every meet-up we had, I always felt like someone was glaring at me from the shadows, but at the same time, it could just be my usual anxiety trying to distract me.

I offered to meet her up during lunch time, since I’ve heard it was a recommended time for people to bond, but she kept refusing the offer and said she was meeting with someone else during that time.

Honestly?... Made me a bit insecure because it could imply that she was meeting with another man, but I forced those thoughts out the drain and came with the rational thought that it was probably with a group of female students. She was a social butterfly after all.

By the time I’m writing this, I have attained “friend” status with her and I consider that win for me, since it was better than staying in the level of “groupmate” or “acquaintance”.

I’m seeing hope for this! Perhaps I’ll achieve that “boy” before the “friend” by March!

January 14, 1989

Valentine’s day is on the next month and the status of “close friend” seems to be in my favor.

I say that but I noticed how every other guy in school approached her even if it was for a minute or 2. I have a hunch they were thinking the same thing too. She was as accommodating as she was with me when we first met that day, but I swear I could see the slight discomfort in her body language when engaging with them.

That discomfort wasn’t present whenever she was with me.

Ha! Good thing I started early! Serves them right for picking on me for being a nerd.

I kept up with our regular meet-ups and I’d say progress with her is going better than expected! She began sharing random trivia facts about herself and I said mine in return and she smiles more too! Yes, all according to plan.

But something came up when I stepped into school for the first time this year.

I had to be extra early for a school project and so by being early, I get to see most of the students arrive to school, including her.

Here’s the thing.

Remember when I said every guy approached her at least once to try and get into her good side? I meant that literally and they were all either the good-looking ones or the troublemakers who always picked on me. However, there was the one student who didn’t bother trying to get close to her.

That very tall, tough-looking delinquent with the ripped hat and golden chain who looks like he could snap anyone’s back anytime with no problem.

He was pretty much the delinquent of delinquents because every other bad student with an attitude who ever crossed his path physically cowered and turned away as if they didn’t want to be in a fight with him.

And because of his infamous nature, of course every female student would congregate around his presence, squabbling for his attention like seagulls.

All except for her.

And it felt like a heavy weight doubled with another weight were lifted off my chest knowing the school’s darling and infamous bad boy weren’t interested in each other.

But going back to that early period before classes bit, she arrived minutes after I did and the second she stepped into the building, all the guys began quietly murmuring to themselves about her, how they’re totally gonna receive sweets on Valentine’s from her. To which I rolled my eyes at.

Then after another few minutes passed, the loud noise of girls from a distance was an enough of a tell that that delinquent arrived as well.

She was standing by the lockers that time, fixing her stuff as he walked by with his flock of fangirls behind him.

And then this happened- A single strip of her Stand’s fabric shot out from her side, and then at the same time, a muscular purple arm manifested out of the delinquent’s back to reach forward and gently grasp the fabric that wrapped itself around the hand.  

The heck? That guy’s got a Stand too?! A cool one at that?! And it’s holding her Stand??!

It was brief but it was strange. What’s stranger is that when that happened, she was smiling with pink on her cheeks the same time that guy tipped his hat over his face. And then they went on their merry way as usual.

Had to up my ante after that happened. Gotta say… she hasn’t noticed my growing insecurities and she’s still pretty close to me.

Like my parents said, as long as I believe in my goals, it’s bound to happen!

February 14, 1989

The day arrived! And even if I admittedly think I did pretty poor job in establishing a bond with her, the events of what had happened turned out quite great actually!

So let me tell you.

When snack break happened, all the girls began their move and started giving out chocolates. Some of my classmates got one, others who are kind of in my level didn’t get any (to which I call foul), the bullies got at least one too though I think they threatened a girl to get it, the male faculty got some appreciative chocolates…

And then there’s the egregious number of candies being given to that delinquent. I’m talking about a full circle of girls either placing their chocolates on his desk or in his locker that came with sticky notes of love.

Just to double check, I kept an eye on both his desk and locker if she did the same as they did. Creepy I know but… at least I’m not actively stalking anyone. Just on watch-out.

And good news! When she began distributing a piece of chocolate to the boys she acquainted with around school, she didn’t leave one at any of his belongings.

When she found me that time, let me tell you she gave me… a small pouch of chocolates! A POUCH! Instead of a piece or two! She had this beaming smile on her face and I, of course, was a proud flustered mess when that happened!

And oh, to see the look of disbelief on those bullies and pretty boys. Man, that felt really good!

I think she’s into me!

It’s pretty much a guarantee that she’ll accept my confessions next month based on what just happened.

 A bright future awaits for me!

February 14, 1989

That clingy bitch!

Who does she think she is showing off like that to Jojo?!

Here I thought I gave the best homemade chocolates in school. Every boy had found them delicious and had said it was the best because it is! I made them myself and I packed them in a neat red box with white crumpled paper fillings, topped with a silk white ribbon.

I had full confidence he’d be bringing that home for sure while he threw away the rest. So, I waited to see what happened at the end of classes. And this absurd shit happened!

Jojo was standing by the gate, cigarette in his mouth like the hottie he was. BUT IN HIS HAND WASN’T MY RED BOX!

Instead, in his possession was a navy-blue bento-sized box with an assortment of sweets inside, wrapped around with a silky rose-gold ribbon. AND THEN, she rushed out of the building towards Jojo and they walked out of school grounds. TOGETHER. AGAIN.  

SERIOUSLY. I’m surprised they aren’t dating yet though I’m pretty sure he’s gonna turn her down because he’s always like that with the multiple others before her.

Good thing that little eyeglass nerd that’s simping over her wasn’t there to see that bullshit. Don’t think he’s gonna handle the sight like me.

I’ll get him next time. Watch out Y/N!

March 14, 1989

I’m sad.

I feel like curling into a ball and wallow in my own embarrassment and sadness from what just happened.

So, if you weren’t aware… today was White Day a.k.a. the day where the guys give the gifts this time. Obviously, my gift was this letter I wrote for her and a rose I bought nearby, all meant to be an aid for my confession towards her.

All the guys I mentioned before had their own little penchants and gifts ready for her, and I watched her receive them with the same friendly smile she’d give to anyone. And I had to steel myself to remember that she didn’t feel comfortable with those guys months ago and she was accepting them out of politeness.

While they were busy with that, I waited for the right to confess.

I read that the best time to confess was when she was alone so when I thought of that, I figured it was around dismissal where most of the students already went home.

Alas, cue to the end of classes period where the sun was about to set and the crowd was minimized to a handful of students. I was sweating bullets when I waited for her by the entrance. I had the letter and rose in hand ready to be given.

When I heard her giggles, I gave one last pep talk to myself and faced her.

I tell you, the moment I saw her, my chest collapsed in on itself. She was still the same pretty girl I’ve bonded with for the past months, but in her arms was a huge brown teddy bear holding a bouquet of roses.

She saw me. And I began coughing nervously. I thought to myself who??? I didn’t see anyone give her anything that big during class hours.

As usual, she smiled at the sight of me standing there like an out-of-place weed and asked why I was still at school. Oh god, I fumbled so bad with my words, nothing was coming out like how I practiced back at home.

I kept saying how much I admired her and everything and so far, she was flattered by my mess of a status, and before I had the chance to confess-

The delinquent stepped behind her, hands in pocket, smoking as he glared straight at me. LIKE FULL ON DEATH GLARE AT MY DIRECTION.

I nearly peed my pants that time.

She wasn’t at all surprised at his presence, in fact she recognized him standing behind her and she promptly apologized for his intimidating aura.

And oh boy, the next bit fully ripped my sensitive heart to smithereens.

She told me a secret since we were “close friends” to which I now find a curse more than a blessing.

She told me that the very same delinquent that looked like he didn’t give a crap about romance and was giving me the look of death… was her boyfriend who gave her his White Day present to her.

Yes. You read that right. BOYFRIEND. The school’s darling and the infamous delinquent being a couple.

FOR HOW LONG????

THEY DIDN’T EVEN SEEM LIKE THEY WERE DATING TO BEGIN WITH???

But then I remembered the whole “their-Stands-were-holding-each-other-as-they-passed-by” scene I witnessed months ago, and those times where she couldn’t hang out with me every lunch time. Because she’s with him during that period. And those bits made sense now given the context.

She still asked me why I was there because she was genuinely concerned. My stutters worsened more, face was burning with embarrassment, and my hands holding the gifts I had for her behind my back turned clammy.

I tried to navigate myself around the whole dilemma of appeasing her concerns while choosing the right words under the pressure of the delinquent’s solid gaze that was still piercing into my soul. Eventually, I hesitantly gave her the rose without the letter.

And even after my whole mess, she still smiled and accepted it.

After saying out goodbyes, they were on their way and I thought I could relax and be free to burst into bashful tears, but I physically tensed when that guy’s Stand fully manifested in its entirety.

Holy crap the thing’s so jacked it was scary. It had one arm around Y/N’s waist while the purple behemoth looked at me with an icy glare much like its user.  

Hence, here we are- me basking in the darkness of my room while my heart’s still recoiling from the reality of being utterly broken due to Y/N L/N’s sheer kindness and relationship status.

Ah great, I can’t see much now because my tears are clouding my vision.

Time to breakdown. Bye.

March 14, 1989

Wonder why that kid’s so flustered today. We’ve communicated with no problems the past days I knew him. Maybe it was because today was White Day and he’s shy? Most likely.

Though, I think a major contributor to his messy speech was Jotaro just being his slightly possessive self standing behind me, even though I told him countless time that the poor kid just needed a friend.

But I understood where he was coming from- he’s my secret boyfriend and he had to watch other boys give me gifts like I was still single. The teddy bear and roses were really sweet of him though. I still engrained the sight of his blushing cheeks and averted gaze in my mind when Star gave me the gifts on his behalf.

He took me out to a park as one last surprise gift. We saw the stars for a moment and then I stayed over at his place, to which he proceeded to rail me into oblivion, and now I’m here writing an entry into my diary while he continues to cutely snooze beside me.

Poor kid though. He must have been scared shitless yesterday. I think I’m gonna smooth things out with him when classes start again.

For now, I’m going to join Jotaro in his arms again and fall into dreamland with him.

 Until next time!

[sehodreams]

noooo that's okay!! i asked about idolxidol bc i was sort of maybe slightly interested in the idea of the ego boys (wonbin/eunseok) flaunting their conquest history (e.g., dating famously skinny/beautiful/rich idol girlies) in front of the reader to make the reader jealous/insecuree/etc

OH NO, OKAY, THAT I LIKE LIKE

Ego!Wonbin would totally tell you about the girls he has dated, actually, he would tell everyone he could trust, the teammates knew about them so he could freely make comments every now and then in front of you, how pretty they looked that day, how many fans were there to cheer on them and how loved they were by everyone, and when you were alone he would compare you every occasion he could. You had tried your best with your outfit? Making sure your makeup flaunted all the pretty facial factions you had? He'd totally think you look gorgeous, but he can't tell you that, you would start to think to highly of yourself and that's not what he wants, so he would say thinks like "Oh I've seen that blouse before, Shuhua noona really likes that brand, i didn't know they had more sizes than small" when you walked away with tears in your eyes he would smirk, proud of his comment. You'd throw it away and never wear that brand again, and he would feel even happier, the others couldn't see you being so pretty again, that would bring trouble he didn't need.

Also, he would say thinks to make you do stuff you didn't want. "You don't want to go on your knees? Then fuck off, Yi Zhuo is in the room next door and she would totally take your place" you'd have no option than to let him fuck your mouth in the changing room, everyone outside waiting for their turn, and you'd have to eat his cum to not spill it on your clothes.

He would use everything he could in his favor, and his exes being beautiful and famous girls were another of his hidden cards to control you. He made sure you heard the boys talk about them, saying how lucky he was to have dated them, and he would just laugh it off, as if it was nothing, he needed to remind you of your place and how fortunate you were to even be on his radar, and it broke your heart, because it remind you how you weren't enough for him to say you were together with a smile on his face, different from all the occasions he talked about his exes.

[celebisenpai]

Synopsis: Talking shit to women who are weak gets boring after a while. That’s where you come in. Like a fresh breeze on a crisp spring day, fighting with you is rejuvenating. He revels in your disdain for him and scowls at the challenge you pose him. Naoya tries to break you, but you don’t seem to want to budge. You match his energy and he hates that he loves it. 

Y/n is a freelance sorcerer, who’s main priority is securing her bag and taking shit from no one. Her curse technique is forced stoppage of time. This technique only lasts 5 seconds but can be expanded to double the time if she flips a coin and calls the right outcome. This binding vow is called Lucky Coin and can be stacked as many times as she wants as long as she keeps guessing the correct outcome. Along with an increase of time to her technique, Lucky Coin also allows her to tap into a dormant stock pile of cursed energy, effectively tripling her curse output. Lastly, besides her technique, Y/n carries a cursed tool in the form of a whip. It's said to be blessed with a luck charm, bringing good fortune to all who wield it. 

-

Naoya liked to hurt women. Not physically necessarily but emotionally. It was in his nature, like a fox killing a rabbit or an eagle sinking its talons into its prey. It came naturally to him. He enjoyed it too, the sounds these women would make when they sobbed. It was like music to his ears. The women in his clan were even better to bully. He could shit talk them all he wanted and they wouldn’t dare say a word back. It was delightful. 

He had never met a woman that he couldn’t mentally abuse, if not mentally then physically. That is until he came face to face with you. You were a vicious thing, with a smart mouth and an attitude to match. And he absolutely despised you for it. He found it disgusting how you were blessed with beauty and looks only to be a total bitch. What good was your pretty face if all it ever did was talk back. The way you bit insults back at him made him want to rage fuck your mouth. He hated even more that he craved the bickering sessions with you. Every time you matched his energy or yelled at each other like mad men reinforced his need to conquer you. To beat you and break you into the fragile submissive woman you were supposed to be. But you were not easy to crack, making you two bound to clash heads from the very beginning. 

-

(Day one) 

Naoya had arrived early at the meeting spot. He didn’t really like stepping out of the Zenin compound. He found it disgusting to see women walking around like equals. But despite that he hated the stink of normal people. They were all a waste of space compared to him. If Naobito hadn’t tasked him with coming out here he would have never stepped foot in the abandoned parking structure. But he was next in line to inherit the title as the head of the Zenin clan so he needed to stay on Naobito’s good side. With reluctance he leaned against the nearest wall. 

“Hm? Oh, someone else is here. I would have thought I was the only one.” A voice called his attention. When did you get there? He hadn’t even noticed you. You sat on the edge of a small concrete wall designed to keep cars from driving over the multiple story levels. “Who are you?” He asked as he levelled his gaze. You swiftly jumped off the ledge and strode closer to him. You had your arms behind your head, a sign of overconfident swagger that didn’t sit right with him. “I could ask you the same. But then again, judging from context clues you seem to be the other freelance sorcerer Shui hired for the job.” 

Naoya chuckled. “You think I’m a freelancer? Do you not know anything about the Jujutsu world?” Your hands dropped to your sides. “Eh, I don’t really involve myself in the world of sorcerers. Too much politics.” You shrugged. “Ever heard of the Zenin clan?” He seemed to puff out his chest with every word. “You mean that clan full of crazy elitis?” His smile quickly faded at that. “I think you mean strong sorcerers.” You tutt your shoulders. “I know what I said.” His gaze wandered on your form. You were pretty. Decent sized rack with wide birthing hips and curvy form that made you very attractive. He could overlook this one stumble for you. “You should watch what you say to me.” He warned. “With that reaction I’m guessing you’re part of the Zenin clan. Am I right?” He smiled at you as if finally getting the recognition he deserved. 

“Precisely.” He said lifting his chin. “Is that why you're dressed like that?” You pointed a finger at him. His eyes widened slightly. “What’s wrong with my clothes?” He asked before looking down at himself. You almost laughed at that. “Nothing, nothing, I mean If you enjoy dressing like a black and white picture movie you’re on the right track.” He frowned at that. Insulting him was stepping over the line. “This is how real men dress.” He shot back. “Back in the Heian era maybe.” You said as you played with a strand of your hair. He took in your dressing style. Nothing impressive, you didn’t even look like a sorcerer with your normal clothes. “Hmph I'd rather dress like this than to be dressed like a bum.” He sneered. You raised your brows at that “Woah, shots fired.” You said bringing your hands up innocently. “And you should lower your tone with me. Women should not be speaking outta turn in the first place.” You blinked in shock. “Um I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here and pretending you didn’t just say the most sexist thing to man.” 

“You think that’s the most sexist thing I’ve ever said?” He quipped back, he almost seemed proud to let you know he didn’t respect women. “I’m starting to think it’s not.” You said, tipping your head to the side. He grinned. “But it’s correct. Women should know their place.” You frowned at that, and his ego began to purr. “Oh, you’re a bit fucked aren’t you?” He loved when women got defensive, it let him know he got under their skin. “What? Did I strike a nerve?” He expected that to set you off, but when it didn’t he furrowed his brows.  “The one who should be watching his tone is you. You’re not hot enough to be speaking about women like that.” He blinked. Oh? You’re a fighter? He had never been called unattractive before. It stung in the annoying way a bee stings a honey badger. “What would an average looking female know about looks? I’ll have you know women beg for it.”  He said, taking back his previous mental compliments to your body. You smirked. “Is that what your mom tells you after she tucks you in for bed?.”

Right now he seemed to find your smile repulsive. Such a disgusting mouth you had, it made him want to bite your lips shut. “Fuck you, I’m hot.” He shot back. You brought your hands up to your eyes, using them as binoculars. “ Is the hot guy in the room with us right now?” He decided that he did not like you. And would endeavour to be mean to you every step of the way. “You're kinda a bitch.” He hissed. You didn’t seem to bat an eye at the insult, probably because it had been told to you so many times it had lost its sting. “So I’ve been told.” You reached a hand down into the pocket of your jeans to pull out your phone. Where the hell was Shui? He had some explaining to do. Naoya’s eyes followed down to your hips again. He pictured himself staring at your back as he pounded you as hard as he could. You definitely deserved a punishment. What better way to punish women like you than to humiliate you sexually. 

“It’s such a waste that you got wide hips. You know, since you’re basically unbreedable with that bitch attitude of yours.” He sneered. You tilted your head at that, one hand on the handle of your wide hips as he described them. “That’s such an odd thing to say to a lady. Didn’t your parents ever teach you manners?.” You quipped. Naoya smirked at that, crossing his arms proudly. “What’s manners got to do with this? You’re a female, aren’t you used to men speaking to you by now?” You huffed a laugh at that. “Sorry, I don’t usually spend my time hanging out with people who have low self esteem and mommy issues.”  You said as you slipped your phone back into your pocket. His perfect brows furrowed. “ You think I have issues?” It was your turn to smirk. “Yup, a whooooole lotta them. Save some for the rest of your clan, why don’t you?”

For the first time since you arrived he stopped leaning against the wall. “You wanna talk about issues? Seems like you’re littered with them. What? Your daddy touched you when you were six and you developed a hatred towards men?” You prickled at that. And he took advantage. “Seems to me like he had the right idea, to ruin you before you could start voicing your own opinions.” Heat began to rise in you. “Spoken like a tool with a superiority complex. At least when I went through my trauma I didn’t come out as a whiny little bitch boy. Bet you’re a big disappointment at home aren’t you?”

He blinked at that. “Boy?” He repeated letting you know that out of all the other insults, that one stung the hardest. “Open your fucken eyes, you’re speaking to a man. I am next in line to be the head of the Zenin clan.” You brought a hand up to your mouth, feigning surprise. “Oh no, did I strike a nerve?” You shot the same words back at his perfectly sculpted face. His face filled with noticeable anger that would have scared any of his house maids but not you.

 “Bitch.”

 “Prick.” 

“Cunt!”

“Asshole!”

Naoya had enough. He let his instincts take over. Like anyone who disrespected him, he would beat thoroughly, and so he tried. He activated his technique and launched himself towards you. He expected to land a punch right to your face. It came to a surprise when his hand slipped right through you. His eyes widened in surprise when you appeared behind him. (What?! She’s faster than me? Impossible!)  He quickly pivoted, unsheathing his knife and slashing towards your guts. Again it went right through you and you disappeared, only to reappear next to him. (No, she’s not faster. This is probably her technique.) This time you raised your hand to his eye level and snapped your fingers. His eyes widened slightly as he figured out your technique, but it was too late. 

Time froze again, giving you five seconds to unhook your wip and move before it unfroze. It took less than one second for your whip to unravel and two seconds to whirle it towards him. The whip wrapped around his wrist. In that your five seconds wore off giving him the liberty to move again. But you already had him. You yanked on the whip causing his hand to spasm and drop the knife. He seemed thrown off by this and you took full advantage. You dove towards him, grabbing and twisting his free arm behind his back. He grunted at the pressure being exerted on his arm. Then using all your strength you shoved him into the wall. “I’m going to fucken kill you.” He hissed. The sound of leather straining could be heard as he struggled to free his wrist from your whip. 

You grinned at his frustration and leaned in. Driving your leg in between his and whispering in his ear. “I’d like to see you try.” A whistle interrupted the sound of both of your ragged breathing. Both your attention was called to the man in the suit, smoking a cigarette. “I called on the aid of the Zenin clan because I thought my freelancer was going to need help on this job. But if you guys are just going to keep going after each other’s throats it might not work out huh?” With that you released Naoya and rolled up your whip. “Shiu, ‘bout time you showed.” you said, acknowledging him. Naoya rubbed at where his wrist had been hurt and looked annoyed. “Y/n, you should try to get along with the partners I get you. It’ll make both our jobs easier.”  You rolled your eyes at that. 

“He started it.” You said as you jabbed a finger at him. He scowled at you in response. “You really are a bitch, you know that?” You looked over at Shiu as if to prove a point. But he simply ignored it. “To be honest, I really couldn’t care less if you both hate each other. But this mission will be easier if you work together so I guess be nice? Anyways.. Today’s target is an ex- cult leader. Though he’s no longer the leader he still has a lot of followers who remain loyal to him. The organisation hiring us wants him gone. But they want proof so we’ll be needing his head. The price is 800,000,000 yen.”  You whistled at that. But Naoya seemed unimpressed.  “Hmph, A bit on the low side to take care of a cult leader and his followers don’t you think?” Shiu smiled as he let out a smoky breath. 

“Naobito already agreed to the deal. Renegotiating now would be a waste of time.” You sighed and began to walk away. “Come on. Let’s go.” Naoya narrowed his eyes at you. “I don’t take orders from things that have cunts.” . You rolled your eyes at that. “Alright then if you’re not gonna help, get the fuck outta my way. I came to get my bag and no one is going to stop me.” You said as you bumped his shoulder and pushed past him. Shiu let an amused smile sit on his face as he watched you two. Naoya let out an annoyed tsk as he begrudgingly followed you. “I'm not coming to your rescue if you’re in trouble. I hope you know that.” You flipped your hair off your shoulder.  “I don’t remember asking you to.” God he hated you. He was already planning on how he would kill you and keep all the winnings. “I hope they rape you.” “I hope they take that stick out of your ass.”  He would never admit it but that was when it all started for him. 

-

You two saw each other on multiple other occasions. Each time resulting in a multitude of insults and skirmishes. Through time you began to find these encounters entertaining. It got to the point where you would go out of your way to be a pain in his ass. Every time he went on a mission. You would somehow beat him to the destination and the curse. The face of annoyance more than made up for any hardships endured in your missions. Because of this he unintentionally learned your ins and out. He figured out what your favourite drink was and then bought out all the stores within a 50 mile radius. He discovered you hated insects and made sure to carry around crickets in his pockets. 

You were no different. One time you discovered what brand of hair dye was his favorite and pulled some strings to get it discontinued. You even found out that he took afternoon baths at exactly 3:00 pm and snuck in to put fart spray in his shampoo bottle. Yes, you had snuck into the Zenin compound on many occasions. It was pretty easy to be honest. Just dress as a maid and you were practically invisible. This weird rivalry continued for some years. Each day deeping the weird sexual tension that had grown between you. But it wasn’t until you encountered him in the mall one fateful day that you decided to do something about it.

-

“Don’t you ever wear anything that’s flattering?” You heard an all too familiar voice sound out next to you. you looked up from your phone to see his pretty face. Honestly it should come with a warning label. (Pretty annoying) it should say. “You should not be talking.” You said as you stood up from the mall bench. Groups of people could be seen gawking at him as they walked by. You rolled your eyes. Poor things didn’t know any better. “What brings you out to the real world?” He fixed his bangs with one hand as he spoke. “Do I not have the liberty to roam if I want to?” You shrugged and began to walk away. He followed you unintentionally. “What are you here for anyways?”  He asked before winking at an attractive barista from one of the shops. 

“Buying lingerie. I have a date tonight.” He blinked before laughing. “Who in their right mind would want to go on a date with you?” People who heard his loud ass statement began to snicker. You glared at him. “Someone with good taste” You shot back, continuing your route to the store you had in mind. “Why do you care?”  It was his turn to shrug. “I don’t. But I would like to know what dumb idiot thought it was a good idea to take a bitch like you on a date.” You laughed at that. “Contrary to what you think. I’m not mean to all men.” He made a face like he didn’t believe you. “Just men that think they’re better than everyone else.” You smirked.

“Huh, and here I thought you were just a lesbian.” You came to a stop and looked at him. “I’m not a lesbian. I enjoy a good dick ride just as much as any other girl.” He flashed You a toothy grin. “Coulda fooled me.” You rolled your eyes. “It’s not a hard thing to do.” He frowned at the small insult. By now you had reached the store you wanted. It was a lingerie store that also sold some other things like chokers and handcuffs. His eyes lit up once he saw the mannequins displaying thongs and cheeky underwear. A light dusting of blush settled on his cheeks and ears. And you immediately knew that he had never been to a sex store before. You pulled the door open and waited for him to follow. He gave you an uneasy stare. “Well, aren’t you going to buy your stupid underwear or whatever.” He asked before folding his arms. 

“I thought you were coming in. You know to berate me and what not” he raised a brow. Studying the predicament in front of him. He knew you were baiting him so if he went in he’d be walking into your trap. But on the other hand if he didn’t go you’d know that he wasn’t well acquainted with sex stores and you would laugh at him. So he simply gave an annoyed tsk before following you in.  

The store was full of mannequins, displaying their different designs of underwear. “You look like you're passing a kidney stone.” You teased.. “I’m not used to women being so brazen, it’s disgusting.” He spat out the words loud enough for other customers to give him dirty  looks. “Well you’re always around me. Shouldn't you be used to brazen women by now?” Naoya rolled his eyes. “You’re hardly a woman, more like a curse.” You laughed at that. He was so annoying. Something red caught your eye, you turned to see a red thong. There was a selection of them. Each with a different glittery letter on the back. You smirked when you found one that had an N on it. Naoya raised his brow and grinned. “You like that one?” His tone was different, softer and filled with curiosity. His hateful facade died down and for a second he seemed normal. Just a normal boyfriend helping his girlfriend pick out underwear. The thought popped in your mind like a bubble. And the idea of picturing him as your boyfriend made you panic. So you did what you did best and attacked. 

“My date’s name starts with an N, I’m sure he’ll enjoy seeing these tonight.” With that Naoya’s demeanour hardened again and he reverted back into his hateful self. “Tch, what’s the point of wearing a string of clothing. It’s going to be ripped off anyways. It’s stupid and a waste just like you.” Your brows furrowed. “Unlike you most men don’t just go around ripping people’s clothes off. They’re not animals!” He ran a hand through his bangs. Combing them out with his fingers. “Cause they don’t know how to fuck.” He shrugged. “Oh and you do?” You placed your hands on your hips defensively. “Better than that mystery boy you’re going on about. He sounds like he has weak thrusts.” Naoya used his hand to flash you a thumbs down and stick his tongue out. He looked childish. 

You were just about to retort something back when one of the workers approached you. “Hey, um you guys are scaring the customers. So we’re going to ask you to leave.” The woman said in a tone that was dipped in annoyance. Naoya scowled at her, making her take a step back. “Sorry, can I just buy this real quick.” You said as you lifted the small garment in your hand. She shook her head. “No, Please get out.” Naoya stepped in. Just let her buy the stupid string of clothes and we’ll leave. “No, at this time I’m refusing you service.” His brows furrowed. “Do you know who you’re talking to? I’ll shut this place down faster than you can get on your feet and grovel.” You quickly handed her the underwear and smooshed your hand to his face, pushing him out the door. “Sorry!” You yelled because you were pretty sure he would complete his threat of shutting them down somehow. 

Outside the store Naoya smacked your hand away from his face like an angry cat and straightened out his hair. “You see what you do?! You got us kicked out!” You said with annoyance. “It’s not my fault I was speaking the truth. Plus you were the one who practically forced me in there.” You rolled your eyes, because he was technically half right. “Whatever, just let me enjoy my evening.” You said as you began to walk past him. But he being the bastard he was, stepped in front of you. “You’re just mad that I’m right about this boy toy of yours. He sounds pathetic.” You raised a brow. “Careful, someone might think you're jealous.” He recoiled back, like you had smacked him. “Why would I ever be jealous of someone who’s below me.” You shrugged your shoulders and strolled past him. “‘Maybe ‘cause my boy toy, as you call him, gets to try a piece of this sweet ass and you don’t.” 

Naoya rolled his eyes. “Tch, let’s be real, you’d be the one losing out.” You grinned at him over your shoulder. Always so full of himself. “I’m sorry, are you assuming you can fuck me better than him.” You said as you raised a hand to play with your hair. “I know so.” He replied swiftly as if he knew it from the very beginning. “Interesting assumption.” You twirled a lock of hair between your fingers, seeming uninterested. “Shall I prove it to you?” He suddenly gripped your arm. “Come see me tonight instead of him and I’ll prove I can fuck you better than him.” You swallowed the thought of him completely naked and pulled your hand free. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” You sang, leaving him with the view of your ass as you walked away.

-

Naoya was in a considerably foul mood, even more so than usual. There was still no sign of you. He had expected you to come crawling by now after offering you such a tempting offer. Had you really gone off with that peasant of yours over him? “Tch!” He bit out the grunt as he made his way to the training ground. He was beyond frustrated, in a way that only you could make him. There was so much pent up energy reserved just for you.  He practically oozed a fiery aura as he stomped down the hall. The maids especially made sure to keep away from him, for fear that they’d become victims to his anger and frustration. 

He was just about to make it to the courtyard when he heard your sweet voice. “Keep making that face and you’ll get wrinkles on that pretty face of yours.” His head turned and his features softened. He wouldn't admit it, but his heart skipped a beat. “Hmph, took you long enough.” He scoffed, turning his full body to see you sitting on a window sill. You laughed at that. “What? Think I wouldn’t show. Is that why you look so sour?” His face twisted to his usual cocky grin. “No, I knew you would come.” He lied through his fucken pearly white teeth. 

You jumped down from your place and strode towards him. Finally you were within touching distance to him. He was itching to start your tango. “I dunno, I’ve been watching you.” You touched a finger to his chest. He tensed, crinkling his brows at you. “Oh, shut up.” He said and quickly grabbed at your hand that was on his chest. He had caught you and was not inclined to let you go. You giggled once more before you obliged him. Your mouth smashed against his and his hand found its way to your scalp tugging painfully on your hair. You hissed and bit his lip. Biting hard enough to cause blood. He let go of your hair and cursed when he tasted blood. “You bitch!” You smiled at him and licked your lips before placing your hand on his clothes cock. It was already stirring. “I knew it. You get turned on when we fight.” He smacked your hand away from his cock and tugged you against him. You weren’t even in his room yet and he wanted to rip your clothes to shreds. “No I just get turned on by the idea of shoving my cock down that pretty little mouth of yours just to shut you up.” His hand reached up to grope one of your breasts. Fuck, it was soft and plush and he had been wanting to do it for so long. “If you don’t take me to your fucken room right now, I’m going to bite you again and this time it’s not going to be your lips.” You whined as you grind on the leg that was between your thighs. Your whines made his mind do back flips. “Mmmm fuck, I fucken hate you.” He growled before picking you up and throwing you over his shoulders. He delighted in the amused giggles that you let loose on the way. He gave no fucks if the maids saw you like that. 

He would fuck you in the hall way if he wanted to but there was the other Hei, the other men that could see you. He didn’t want them to see your silky curves. Naoya was a greedy man and that meant keeping your tight cunt all to himself. Moving in his pants became painful and he would make you pay for turning him on so far away from his room. When he finally arrived at his room he shut the door behind him and threw you on his bed. You yelled before bouncing off of the bed and onto the floor. He laughed at that and proceeded to take off his clothes. His shirt was the first to go then his pants until it was just his boxers in the way. You were delighted to see his pierced nipples. His hand came down to your jaw and pulled you up. Your lips clashed again in a battle of dominance. His tongue fought for space in your mouth and made a fire rage in your lower region. “You're a terrible and disgusting excuse for a human being.” You huffed. He pushed you towards his bed but this time he secured you down with his body. 

“Yeah? You hate me don’t you? I’m a piece of shit to you and you still get wet thinking of me.” His hand snaked its way around your throat. But instead of being scared like he wanted, you smiled. It made him angry so he bit down on your shoulder. Electric waves shot down your spine in a mixture of pain and pleasure. The scream turned into a lewd moan and he loved it. Your fingers clawed down his back, breaking skin as they did. He grunted, heat and friction making him dizzy with pain and pleasure. He accidentally bucked into you making you laugh. It made him feel like he was not in control and he had to show you how good he was when he was in control. “Shut the fuck up.” He growled and yanked at your shirt until it ripped. “I love that shirt!”  You whined. Looking at the shredded prices of your shirt. But Naoya couldn’t care less. He busied his eyes, hungrily studying your body. “No bra? You’re a fucken slut aren’t you.” He grinned “I was afraid you’d rip it like my shirt.” You quipped. Your hand shot up to entangle itself between his blond locks. Tighten slightly to pay him back for your shirt.

“Shut up. I’ll just buy you a new one.”  He hissed before lowering himself onto you. The idea that he would actually buy you something was burned away by his tongue.  It was hot and wet against your sensitive nipples. A muffled moan slid out of your throat. And Almost instantly you arched your back to him. This delighted him. It triggered a power rush within him and flooded his brain with dopamine. The need for you was so strong it numbed his mind to anything but his urge for you. It conquered every part of him but pooled to two parts of his body, his mind and his dick, which currently poked angrily at your lower half. He was high on power, so high. He didn’t even care when you wrapped your legs around his waist. The friction, the heat, all of your sounds were overwhelming him and he hadn’t even put it in. God if this kept up he would cum right there and then. He released your nipples and tried to keep his head, but he was teetering on the border of ecstasy. He hated the way you could edge him so close to madness. “Let me be on top.” You whined. The thought cooled his mind. Why would he relinquish his power over you? Just so you could ride him? Bounce on his cock and see your pretty tits bounce with every thrust of his cock. Ok, the thought was compelling enough. 

He flipped you over as if you weighed nothing. It was weird to be relinquishing his power willingly. But he thought it would be cute to let you think you could dominate. Except he wasn’t expecting you to snap your fingers, activating your curse technique and stopping time. Little did he know you had planned it all out. You quickly got to work tying his wrists and legs to the bed boards. When your technique ran out, you were waiting for him at the end of his bed. Your whip in your hand and a sadistic smile dawning on your face. He blinked, obviously confused at the lack of warmth that was once there. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked once he saw you with your whip. 

“I just wanted to have a little fun.” You blinked innocently at him. He scowled at you. “You really are the worst.” He bit out . You cracked your whip to the side of him destroying his floor. “Men shouldn’t speak unless they’re spoken to.” You cooed. Fire filled his eyes and something like excitement. “Y/n I’m going to kill you when I get out” you whipped your weapon again. It made a loud audible sound that let anyone around know how deadly it was. “Thank you for the warning, maybe I’ll leave your restraints on longer.” He smirked at you. “You’re going to dominate me? Good luck.” He bit out the words like a soldier dying nobly. But that was exactly what you wanted to hear. You ran the whip along your hand before gripping it and yanking on it. The sound of strained leather could be heard in the room. “Naoya Zenin, tonight I’m going to break you. Like the stallion you are.” 

You were crazy, you were actually bat shit crazy in his mind. But the most twisted part of it all was how much that was turning him on. His dick twitched from excitement and he watched you take off the rest of your clothes, panties included. He expected a clean shaved pussy and you did not disappoint him. He watched you walk around his bed, whipping your weapon like a tail. “Alright what are you going to do? Get it over with already.” The truth was he was excited to know what you’d come up with. Because he didn’t plan on breaking one bit. You trace his body with your whip, he watched you closely as you neared his most sensitive spot. “I have to be honest I came here with a premeditated plan.” You said as you rubbed his still clothed cock.  

It was the first time he’s seen you blush. It made his insides feel weirdly hot and he wondered if he too looked as red as you. “I knew it. I’ve always known you’ve fantasised about my dick.”  You raised a brow. “This was a recent development darling.” He threw his head back in laughter. “You can tell yourself that if you want to, but you don’t fool me. Ever since the first day we met you’ve been dreaming of letting me fuck your brains out.” Your hand closed around his still clothed cock and he stiffened. Precum stained the surface of his boxers. “It seems I wasn’t the only one dreaming about it.” He tilted his head, a ghost of a smile still lingering on his lips. “Sure I’ve thought about it for a second.” 

You finally decided to pull his boxers down. Letting his cock spring free. It stood proudly. Letting it shiny pink head shine. It was a fine length and veiner than you had expected.  Your thumb pressed against his head making him tense. His muscles tightened around his thighs and core. It brought you pleasure to see him like that. But now you had a problem. His boxers were still around his legs and you needed them gone. Maybe you should have taken them off from the start. But oh well, we were past that phase of operations. He seemed to pick up on your predicament. “What? Plans not going your way?” He teased. You gave him a couple of strokes as you thought about how to get the boxers off. There was no way you would untie him. He would definitely try to get out. Your eyes finally landed on your whip and an idea sprung in your mind. 

“What was that saying? ‘An eye for an eye’? Well let’s just say this is going to be clothes for clothes.” He watched you grab the whip and immediately tensed. He pulled on all his restraints. “Woah, hold on. Y/n, wait.” He pleaded. Terrified of losing his man hood with one wrong crack of your whip. You backed away and used your hand to measure how far you had to reach your whip to only hit his boxers. “Wait! Wait! Just untie me and-.” He didn’t even get to finish before you whirled your whip. The loud cracking sound of the whip resonated around the room. “You crazy bitch!” He yelled. You smiled when you saw that you had successfully whipped his boxers off. He was breathing rapidly. “There, all gone.” You cooed and dropped your whip. There was a sense of relief that washed over him. 

“I swear I’m going to choke you.” He growled. “That would be a scary threat, you know if you weren’t all tied up.” You winked at him. “Let’s move on.” You said as you  pulled out something rubbery from your discarded clothes. It was pink and he seemed to look at it curiously. “What the hell is that?” He asked as you neared him with it. “It’s a cock ring.” He jerked when you grabbed his penis and began rolling it on. It squeezed his dick with a pressure that was not too overbearing, but it was strange and new to him, no one had ever done something like this to him. “It’s to make you last longer. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you almost came earlier.” He smiled at that. “Don’t blame me, blame those whore sounds you were making. You were enjoying my lips a little too much.” Once his cock ring was nice and strapped you crawled onto the bed. 

“It was very good, but try to hold on for me. I’m about to make you feel like you're in heaven, and for the first time, I don’t need you living up to your name as the fastest Zenin.” You said as you kissed him. He kissed you back like he had missed you from your short leave of absence. And when you pulled away a silvery string of saliva connected you two. “I’ve always lasted in bed.” You smiled at that before grabbing a piece of your ripped shirt and tying it around his head. “Did you know that without your eyesight, all your other senses become heightened. Your smell,” he could smell your perfume around him. “Your hearing.” He couldn’t help but listen to the noises you made as you moved down his lower region. He swallowed anxiously. “Your sense of touch.” You whispered before sticking out your tongue and licking his tip.

He hissed like you had attacked him. “You better stop teasing. I hate that shit.” He muttered. “Ohh too bad. I love it.” This was delivered with another kitten lick to his tip. It wasn’t enough. He needed more warmth, more friction. The sounds of him pulling on the restraints made you smile. Another kitten lick to his tip was delivered. You knew he was scowling behind the covering. “Y/n!” He barked your name like a command. Oh no, didn’t he know? You were in charge now. You blew a warm breath on his tip before smacking it with your hand. He jerked at that. “You’re a whore for that.” He struggled even more against his restraints. “Oh poor baby doesn’t like it?” You smacked it again. Again he jerked. “Take that stupid cock ring off, it's making me sensitive.” Oh no, another command. Naoya wasn’t getting who was in charge, maybe you should show him. 

You rolled off the bed. He could hear you walk away and rummage through his drawers. “Hey, what are you fucking doing?! Get back here and finish what you started!” He growled. “You’re being very impatient.” You cooed back. “You can’t just keep giving me blue balls. Come fix it!” “Ahaa!” You said triumphantly as you found what you were looking for. He stayed quiet trying to deduce what you might have been looking for. The sound of a lighter being switched on made him raise a brow. “What are you doing now?” He asked a bit annoyed that you weren’t just creaming on his cock right now. “Patience is key.” You hummed. “My patiences ran out about 30 minutes ago-OOO! FUCK!” Naoya wasn’t able to fully complete his sentence when he felt hot wax drip onto his bare chest. 

“Fuck fuck Y/n stop!” More wax is poured into his stomach area. Naoya hissed from the sting of the wax against his skin. “What did I say earlier? Men should only speak when spoken to.”  Naoya grit his teeth. The sting of his own words being twisted to your desires hurt more than the sting of the hot wax on his skin. You ran your hand over the now cool wax on his chest and stomach. “Got it?” You half expected him to come up with a witty comeback but he simply nodded. “You’re learning so fast Naoya. You look very pretty when you’re not being a dick.” He smirked at that. “Shall I reward you?” Naoya nodded his head once more. “So good.” You whispered as you lowered your mouth over his dick. First you engulfed his head, giving a nice couple of sucks, each ending with satisfying pops at the end. Naoya threw his head back and let out a pretty moan. He quickly bit his lips and he hated that you had forced that noise out of him.

“Your moans are very pretty too. Shall I keep rewarding you?” He nodded his head again. “It's ok, you can say it.” He swallowed and licked his lips. “Yes.” He sounded almost out of breath. Naoya, despite everything, couldn't figure out why he loved what you were doing. No one had ever forced him to shut up like you did. No one had ever had this much control. It was wild and scary and fucken hot. Your mouth took him deeper with each stroke. It felt like heaven. Finally he was getting that friction he soo needed. He had to bite his lip to keep all his embarrassing moans inside. Because despite the fact that he was letting you dominate him. He was still a man. And men don’t do that pathetic moaning shit. But fuck was your mouth good. You swallowed around him and made him buck. His dick reached the back of your throat faster than you had anticipated. It made you gag. 

Naoya seemed to recognize the noise and laughed. “Oh you think that’s funny?” You asked as you grabbed his cock in your hand. “Yes.” He said between laughs. “I’ll show you something funny.” Immediately you fit him back into your mouth and placed your hand at  the bottom of his base to jack him off. The change in friction made him gasp. “F-fuck!” Your mouth sucked around his smooth salty tip, swirling your tongue over it every once in a while. His hips began to buck. He was edging closer and closer to sweet sweet release. “Yes fuck! I’m almost th-there.” Just when he said those words you plopped your mouth off of him. “No! No. Fuck fuck! .” The beautiful sensation was fading, and it was fading fast. His balls hurt from how much you had edged him on. He needed release. He wanted to cum. “Fuck! Y/n.”

“Do you think it’s funny now?” You asked as you pressed your thumb over his head. He was fast in shaking his head. “No.” Your hand ran over his balls they felt heavy and swollen. He huffed at the sensation. Like running a finger over a sore spot, painful and good.  You did this another time, getting him to the edge only to take it away right before. Naoya needed to learn to be good. “Y/n! I want to cum.” He demanded. “Are you sure that's the right tone?” He seemed to shrink back as if his body remembered the wax. “You want to cum?” He nodded his head eagerly. “Yes.” 

“Fine.” You said as you leaned in for a kiss. Naoya seemed to pump his chest out. “But only if you beg for it.” He stayed still at this. Naoya had never begged for anything his entire life. Begging was for the weak and he was not. “Just make me cum!” He barked and on cue hot wax was poured on his chest. “Fuck!” He recoiled. Then he stayed silent as if contemplating his next move. When he took a little too long to think you rubbed one of his balls. He groaned, god they were heavy with his seed. If only he could cum, you wouldn’t have this power over him. But when you massaged his balls in your hand he felt nothing but love for you. Maybe love was too extreme but his urge to fill you up with his seed was real. He was fighting his pride, killing it off for a chance at emptying his load in you. 

“All you gotta do is say please. Please let me cum babe. Can you say that for me? You seem very stressed with this load.”  His dick twitched at the possibility of making it all go away but his pride was strong. “Fuck no.” He huffed. You frowned at that. “Oh well. I gave you the option.” Naoya could hear the sounds of wet slickness. He perked right up. “Do you hear how wet I am for you? I want you Naoya. Don’t you want me?” Your small moans intrigued him, they stimulate his mind. “Yes.” He said, sounding like a hungry man. “Then beg.” You offered again. One way or another you were going to break him, to make this proud man submit to you. He was close, you could tell.  He licked his lips listening to the glistening wetness of your pussy. “You want it, and I want it. Let’s just cum together.” He rationed. 

You frowned again. “I think you need another round.” Your mouth closed around his cock, even his veins were hard from so much edgeding. Naoya whimpered. Your lips would bring him to the edge of ecstasy only for it to slip away. “Do you know what happens to men who have blue balls for this long? They go crazy.” You whispered, licking the length of his cock to the top. It was crazy. It was madness. It was torture. And he could no longer take it. “Fuck ok! Please Y/n please make me cum. Fuck I want to cum. Please let me cum in you. Please. I’m begging you”  you smiled at that. “Fucken finally!” You cursed at him. For as much as he wanted to cum so did you. So you saddled him and sank down onto his rock hard cock. You both moaned at the sweet sensation of heat. He no longer cared about moaning. He had lost his mind and his pride. You bounced on his dick. He filled you so good you could feel it in your gut when you bottomed out. “Take off the blind fold.” He said and for the first time you complied. 

You took it off and threw it somewhere in the room. And finally he was able to see how gorgeous you looked ridding his cock. Your titties bouncing with every thrust he could get in. “Fuck! Get down here .” You lowered Youself  to kiss him. Wet sloppy kisses full of sweet moans. Naoya strained as much as he could to plop a nipples into his mouth. It was your turn to throw your head back. Loud slutty moans and the sound of wet skin slapping against each other filled the room. You were both getting engulfed if heat. He was hitting all the perfect spots in your silky wallls. “I- I’m close.” You finally moaned. Feeling the coil inside you get tighter with every bouncing stroke. Sweat covered your bodies making everything intense. “Let me cum in you please.” The words sent butterflies down to your stomach. “Yes. Give me it. Give me everything.” You moaned, feeling his dick his hit the most sensitive parts of your walls. Your pussy contracted around him before you came. You felt a rush of pressure inside your pussy and if it took you a bit to figure out that you were squirting on his dick. That was the first time you had ever done that with anyone. 

“Oh my god.” At the sight his eyes rolled back and he  came violently. With strong sporadic thrust he buried himself in your cunt wanting to give you all of his load. You had caused it to be that good, to be that strong. You deserved to get all of his seed. He was high out of his mind from the ecstasy crash that he hadn’t realised what he had done. He had came in you. In a stranger not of the Zenin clan. If you got pregnant you would be a part of the Zenin clan whether you liked it or not. You wouldn’t survive here. Not with your smart mouth and attitude. Or maybe you would. I mean you survived him. But the thoughts fluttered away by the sweet sound of your heavy breathing. You rubbed your hands over his chest. He smiled at that. “Well that was nice. My curiosity is definitely satisfied.” You said as you let yourself come off of him. His dick slid out along with some of his seed. He was a bit sad he couldn’t use his fingers to push it back in. Wait! What was he thinking again? You were like a drug for his brain. You made him feel fucken amazing but you were bad for him. 

“I hope that was as fun for you as it was for me” you said as put on your panties and pants. Naoya struggled to sit up. “I could have done without some things.” You raised a brow. “Hmmm? Like ?” You prompted. “Like the fucken candle wax.” He said as he scowled at the candle responsible. You giggled, licking your fingers to stub the fire out. “You enjoyed it. Don’t lie.” He watched you hop around and put your shoes on. “It was torture.”  He said as he strained against his confíes. “It was thrilling.” You shot back as you picked up his shirt and sniffed it. “Well maybe next time we’ll reverse the roles and see how much you like it.” You smiled as you slipped on his shirt. 

“next time, you say?”  You quipped, picking up your whip and rolling it up. “You can’t tell me you’ve been satisfied with just one ride on my incredible cock.” You rolled your eyes. “Mmmm I can’t say for sure. So there’s a possibility that I’ll return.” You glided into his restroom and fixed your messy hair. “A possibility? Fuck you, you can’t wait to ride the Naoya train again.” He strained again, clearly getting annoyed from his lack of freedom to persuade you to go another round. “Perhaps.” You said, finally making your way towards him with his knife. But instead of cutting him loose you stuck the sword onto his nightstand. “Well?” He asked demandingly. “Well What?” You asked innocently.” 

“Aren’t you going to cut me loose?” He strained his right wrist for emphasis. “Oh yeah! … unfortunately I will not be cutting you loose.” You explained. Naoya looked confused. “What?” He asked. “Unfortunately you were very very adamant on hurting me after I set you free. Thus I shan’t be doing it.”  He rolled his eyes at that. “Don’t be stupid. I’m not going to hurt you. Just cut me loose.” He said, shaking his arms. ���Yah no, I think I’m making the right decision here by leaving you like this.” You said as you walked towards the window of his bedroom. “Stop messing with me y/n.” His gut began to turn at the possibility that you were not in fact joking with him. He wouldn’t even bat an eye if you decided to take pictures of him in this situation. You were a total grade A bitch after all. 

“At least go out through the front like a normal person and take your walk of shame.” You sat on the window sill, one foot already dangling to freedom. “I’m a liberated woman. I have no walks of shame. You should know this by now.” He simply scowled at you. “You know, I think that is one of the reasons you like me so much. You want to break me. Make me submissive to you.” The way he tensed made you laugh. You had hit the nail on the head. Not that it was hard to tell. “If you leave me like this, there won’t be a second time.” He threatened. “Ooooh nooo.” You sighed and placed a hand woefully over your forehead.” 

“Come on, you think you decided if there will be a second time or not? Please Naoya,  you're smarter than that.” You smirked. “I really fucken hate you. I hate you so much I might just die and curse you.” You flipped some hair off of your shoulder. “Mmm, that's cute. Shall I keep you as a pet?” He had nothing to say to that. So instead he decided to start planning his revenge. Having had enough of teasing him you blew him a kiss and swiftly jumped out of his window. 

Oh he hated you almost as much as he lusted for you. Why couldn’t you just be like the maids in his house, Submissive and insignificant. Why did Cupid stick his grubby little face were it didn’t belong and make such a fucked up pair. He was just halfway into his day dreaming of all the atrocities he would do when he found you again,  when a knock came from his door. Naoya strained against his confíes, not ready to be seen in such a submissive position. He knew that the maid would be gossiping like dam baboons about this incident after they found him. When no answer came from him he heard the door begin to open. What should he do? What could he do? The worst thing was that you had left your stupid cock ring around his dick. And the day dreaming about violating you did not help make his erection go away. When he inevitably got found they would humiliate him. He bit the inside of his cheek as the door slowly opened, oh yes, he fucken hated you. 

Halfway out of his compound, you heard a loud shriek. You figured it was the discovery of your poor lovely Naoya. And you couldn’t help but laugh. He was probably so angry. Oh how you looked forward to your next encounter. 

[memories-of-ancients]

this human document was written last Summer by a Japanese captain of infantry. the introduction and conclusion have been written by his American friend Seymour Gordden Link, dean of liberal arts at Andrew Jackson University in Nashville Tennessee.

When I attended Columbia University sometime ago I was fortunate enough to be one of two Occidentals admitted to intimacy with two Chinese students, Chang and Kim, and two government - fellowship scholars from Japan, Tatsuo and Mitsui. The latter's true name is not given because identification would doubtless lead to his immediate execution as a trader to his government.

We have corresponded for years. Our correspondence has dealt largely with the arts. Although Mitsui is a great mathematician, he is also a great lover of painting and poetry, of flowers and comparative linguistics. This multiple development is more frequently encountered among the Japanese intellectuals than anywhere else on earth. Most of what I have been lucky enough to absorb about the intricacies of Japanese grammar on honorifics and social usage, I owe to Mitsui. All that he knows of contemporary art and literature outside the Orient comes, he has said, from my letters. And we have exchanged mutual references to our Chinese friends Chang and Kim.

But the other morning came a letter more moving than the others, and more disturbing. While I hold it to be a thing of personal and sacred to me, I offer it in the hope that readers will profit from the small glimpse into the heart of " a thousand Mistuis" and will refrain thereby from too hasty a surrender to the drums of jingoism - S. G. L.

Tokyo, Japan

July 15, 1937

Link sensei,

Writing this I do now in great and lementable haste for the fear is that soon no letters will go out. War has no respect for the things of the heart. And here is War. And here soon one small unwilling captain of infantry will wake from a night of rest and look around to discover he no longer is honored by the friendship of his great friend and teacher in America.

For war enters into the heart where it is not welcome and makes a strange chemistry; and my American friend who once said he had a great love for one small Japanese scholar, will think only of many small captains of infantry making many unpopular battles. He will hold on to the last and say all men are brothers and that he thinks the same thoughts and loves the same poety and speaks the same languages with his former Japanese brothers. but he will remember these things better of Chang and Kim then he will remember them of Mitsui.

For Chang and Kim will be in the war on the side where the heart leans and mitsui will be on the side that the heart is turned against. And he will forget that not a thousand Mitsuis can make a war or stop a war. he will forget that Chang and Kim and Tatsuo and Mitsui and Larson and Link once walked together beneath the shade of trees of the Columbia campus and ate together at the cafeteria and read poetry together in many languages.

And what of Chang and Kim? they who once called Mitsui brother now join their countrymen and blind hate of a thousand Mitsuis. And Mitsui dare not send them a letter full of his ancient love. It would mean the firing squad.

Once upon a time, so long a time it seems, Link sensei wrote in Mitsui's book English translation of a poem, because Mitsui showed him a scroll with a painting of long green plains that led to Fuji. This is written in the heart as War approaches. it says:

All that comes to pass

Of the warriors proud dream

Is this summer grass.

Because the scroll is beautiful and because it has memories in it of the happy years in America it is now enclosed as a parting souvenir of Mitsui who will fall in battle with a bullet from Chang or from Kim and his heart. Please to someday inform these brothers that their bullet entered Mitsui's heart only to find there love and brotherhood and great sorrow.

Here is the death song of Mitsui:

These grasses that bent

Underfoot will lean as soft

Over the cleft skull.

And in the deep roots will drain Love and peace that filled the brain.

Sayonara brother.

Mitsui

I shall never see my "small unwilling captain of infantry" again. He will lead his troops into action and then with his arms at his side walk calmly into the drum fires, thinking as he dies of his Chinese friends, Chang and Kim, and perhaps, I hope, of his American friend whom he did the honor to call sensei, teacher. Thus he will pay homage at once to his ancestors, his Emperor, his friends, and his dream of peace on earth, good will to men. S.G.L.

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Also asked by @thefreelanceangel and @archaiclumina! Thank you o/

Staying home. Sounds silly maybe but it's calm, it's comfy, there's nobody to interrupt me every three minutes or ask me to perform as a Socially Acceptable Human (ie. neurotypical) so realistically I'm rarely as happy as when I get to stay home.

Time spent in nature, providing I meet very, very, very few people out there. Which is difficult in Switzerland because people love hiking and the country is terribly small x) Fortunately my job regularly brings me to places that aren't crowded, except maybe by cows depending on the time of the year.

I'm gonna get terribly real for this but frankly, not being poor anymore. It took me years for it to feel real and I still panic sometimes but being able to pay for what I need without having to sacrifice other basic needs is just nice. Money do buy happiness.

OK, something more lighthearted: being creative! Be it roleplaying, writing, virtual photography, doodling, even coding for my website... I've been tempted by other creative outlets like knitting but there's only so many hours in a day.

Obligatory: my partner, my friends and my cats, which are all what I consider to be my family. The actual family-by-blood being mostly a disappointment. But I honestly wouldn't be where I am today, or just here today, without their support and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have them in my life.

Sorry if this was perhaps too serious compared to other answers, but I'm like... happy for the first time in my life possibly so I didn't feel like cheapening the reasons why x)

And thank you again for the asks!

[sydneyofalltrades]

RTC headcanons: Penny/Jane Doe Edition!

FOR CONTEXT! I don’t believe the Penny from RTC is Penny Lamb from Legoland, so headcanons about her will probably be skewed compared to Legoland canon :)

Penny has so many bandaids everywhere. Her arms, her nose, her legs. It’s not that she gets into a bunch of fights but she’s just so clumsy and never looks before she leaps

Penny can play the ukulele, guitar, and violin. She loves string instruments and has had a few duets with Noel

Penny wasn’t always strictly religious, but over time she found comfort in religion. She still supports people outside her religion and is genuinely kind to all

Jane Doe had around a few hours before the rest of the choir was brought to the warehouse, so she asked Karnak who she could possibly be, even trying to get any former fortune he could have given her, only to come up short

When Penny first arrived at Uranium her mothers gave her a new doll. It was a crocheted doll of herself, and although she did adore it, she preferred her parents’ vintage doll with blond curls and big black eyes

When Penny died, she had her doll tucked in her uniform, so Jane Doe, after realizing she was in limbo, found the one thing that she felt drawn to and used it as her own head

Penny is a lesbian, and had the biggest crush on Constance before they died. She also developed a crush on Ricky, but she was too shy to tell either of them

Jane Doe is a cat fanatic, something she doesn’t understand, but Penny loved all breeds of cats and that love made it to Jane

Penny will eat cheese with anything. Like her mac and cheese obsession, she just really loves cheese. The others are genuinely worried for her gut, but she assures them it’s fine (it’s not)

Jane Doe only has feelings relating to Penny’s life, no memories. As such, when she says, “No parents came” a stab of pain shot in her chest, for reasons she never understood

After Penny came back, it took her some time to remember who she was. But as Jane Doe had no recollection of her life, Penny now has no recollection of her death. She doesn’t know why the choir means so much to her if she wasn’t so close with much of them

Penny actually went up to Ricky and signed a little for him when they met. She just signed “Hi, I’m Penny!” and she and Ricky became really fast friends

Penny never understood why Noel loved old French movies, but she does enjoy watching them with him, he gets so excited and dramatic and it makes her laugh

Pen and Mischa never really interacted when they were alive. Sometimes she’d tell him some fun facts and sometimes he’d help her out with bullies, but they didn’t really have that much of a connection

Penny avoided being a subject of Ocean’s superiority complex by just doing whatever she asked, being quick to comply, so Ocean never said anything about her

Penny was bullied a lot for being adopted, but she always brushed it off with a quick-witted response and sometimes she’ll punch someone in the nose

Penny is the definition of luck. Last minute exam studying? She’ll have perfect marks in the end. Forgot something important? There’s always a chance Penny will have it or will find an easy way to get it. Lost something? Penny will look around for .98 seconds and find exactly what you’re looking for

If Pen was incredibly lucky, Janey is incredibly unlucky. As she’s the opposite of Penny, everything around her always fails and never works the way she wishes

Penny’s mothers were devastated when they learned their daughter wasn’t coming back from the fairground. They told everyone in Uranium about Penny, but no one seemed to remember her, or really care. When Penny came back, this never existed as she was surprisingly the sole survivor of the accident

Penny always regretted covering her face in pictures after she came back, because her memories with the choir were few, and any picture she saw of them with her always had her hand or an object covering her face

Jane Doe was aroace, yet felt an urge to be around Constance and Ricky. After Ricky gave her a name, Savannah, a feeling similar to friendship formed in her chest, is if she knew Ricky, as if she cared for them

For Penny’s seventeenth birthday, she had a masquerade-esqe party and asked every guest to wear a mask. The choir complied and came in masks and had a wonderful time. Penny didn’t tell anyone it was because of her hatred of seeing herself in pictures, but when she looked back on the pictures of that night, there was one where all six of the choir’s faces were revealed, including her own, laughing with them. That now is her favorite picture, and she keeps it with her forever

[despairforme]

💫 talA!

[ POSITIVITY MEME! ] ( always accepting! I am just slow at answering them--- )  

[ TALA !!!!!!!!! Thank you for sending this anon, I'm happy to get to talk about Tala! ( I know this is super late, I'm getting to these v slowly bc I gotta be in the right headspace to write them to write them properly and not rush them !! ) --- ANYWAYS. Tala is easily one of my favorite people on here. Also one of my oldest friends. We have been following each other for ??? Ever ??? She is a big inspiration to me. I'm always in awe at how many amazing, unique and thought-out characters she is able to create. Making OCs is ( imo ) pretty difficult, and she does it with such ease. Not only that, but she also manages to write them all differently, giving them all a different voice. They don't bleed into each other. I'm fascinated and impressed at all the original lore concepts she has, and how she manages to create such deep connections between both her own OCs, and other people's muses as well. AND ALSO, in addition to having insane creativity, she's also a wonderful writer. She has such steady story-telling, so you can really see the scenes come alive when you read them. The details, the way her characters dialogue is written? SUCH a good read. I always feel spoiled when she answers my asks and there is a whole waterfall of beautiful paragraphs to read.

I have been fortunate and blessed by her friendship. She's always been supportive of me. She's kind, and interacts with my posts. Seeing her on my dash gives me good vibes. I love reading her little OOC posts and her little dash commentaries. Like, when she's gotten an ask from someone (Ambie, for example), and she posts a heart-eye gif T - T So cute and precious. She has such a sweet personality that just makes you want to be around her and interact with her.

I'm lucky to get to write with her. She has SO many interesting characters. I've only been able to write with a few so far ( compared to how many she has in her roster ). I have a few favorites, of course--- Santa Teresa, for example ( hence the icon ). But also Sasaharu, Kerb, Yomi, PChan, Uekawa, Shane, Hachi --- yeah the list goes on. I forever want to follow her, read her threads, see her create new OCs, chat with her, and of course write with her!! 5 / 5 a favorite blog and creator. ]

[chromorbid]

venting, cw for medical + TMI + menses-related bs

I always felt lucky that I didn't have the same problems as other people with PCOS. my periods were normal except when they weren't. The pain only lasted a couple days or so. the amount of time I spent bleeding was average, even though it was a lot. but I couldn't function in my daily life, and every time I had my period was like I was taking so many steps backwards in my mental health recovery. I didn't want to have more cysts develop and burst either, rendering me unable to function for weeks. I needed it to end.

cue the magic of the minipill. sure my acne got way worse, but at least I wasn't bleeding anymore. at least I wasn't in pain anymore. I even managed to achieve a somewhat more normal body weight, when I always had trouble getting above 100 before. thank fucking god for planned parenthood California, who gave me a years supply for free every checkup without insurance. there was some trial and error with other medications afterwards, and I had to keep track of what triggered my period when I wasn't supposed to be having it. quack doctors who didn't know what they were prescribing, usually. sometimes stress triggers it. sometimes drinking alcohol triggers it. the wrong dairy product. wheat.

I moved to Texas and didn't have a refill ready--the local PP prescribed a different brand, and it cost $112 for six months' worth. it didn't do its job like the other one, but they didn't have my original brand. I found that the one I used to take could be acquired through the PP Direct app, but it's $75 for 3 months' worth. so I've been taking that.

I had a lifestyle change when I moved out of my parents' place. I'm asexual, but still have a sex drive and bought some celebratory sex toys (and have friends who are cool and gifted me stuff too). it turns out that when I use them regularly--you know, that way many people with vaginas do?--that apparently is enough to trigger my period.

I expected that it would probably be the way my period usually is while on this medication: light and spotty, maybe a little bit of cramping here and there. but for the second month, that apparently is not the case. I've never had this much period pain in my LIFE. it can only be compared to my first cyst burst in 2011. I thought I had appendicitis, and if that was the case I probably would have died from it because I sat in urgent care for two and a half fucking hours in agony. the pain eventually went down while there and I learned the appointment alone without insurance was going to cost $180 we didn't have. I gave up and left, gambling with my own life. fortunately all it did was leave me unable to walk for two weeks. I didn't get Actual Appendicitis until 2020. so now I know for sure that what's happening now isn't that.

so. this fucking sucks. I've been in pain for an entire week. I haven't had this much fresh blood leave my body since before i started taking this pill 9 years ago. I'm pretty sure it's made me anemic again. and I cannot FUCKING function without three times the suggested dose of ibuprofen and a heating pad. and I cannot see a doctor until the New Year. I've had the pain hit me so badly I felt like I was gonna faint several times. there's a Christmas party everyone is attending soon tonight and I don't think I can even get up to dress myself.

it's like I'm being punished for getting more comfortable with my body. how is anybody supposed to have a sex life this way? would the other functions of the minipill fail if I was sexually active with other people? fucking Christ.

even though I live in Virginia now, I can't get an appointment with PP. they don't take my insurance. I don't know what to fucking do anymore.

edit oh yeah, I wonder how bad this would be if I WASN'T taking the minipill....... probably worse????? jfc.