#I just went through my old account and this was in a playlist

[101suouexpressions]

Umemiya fostering Sakura to be his successor

This is an open secret by now, but in this post, I will dive into the process that Umemiya went through to finally decide on Sakura.

First notice: Pre Shishitouren Arc

In the beginning, Sakura was known as the kid who came to take over the old, disordered, and violent Fuurin, which had definitely given a lot of people the wrong impression of him. However, on his first day, he had proven to have good morals instead of being an arrogant power-seeker.

This had, of course, piqued Umemiya's interest and changed his perception of Sakura.

Shishitouren Arc

However, Umemiya's evaluation of Sakura only commenced when he let the boy participate in the Shishitouren fight. This is like an entrance exam to see if Sakura has what it takes to be a leader.

Clearly, the task wasn't simply "beating the Togame's ass", but it seems like Sakura has to check some certain, hidden boxes. Sakura officially passed the test when he successfully connected to Togame through the fist-fight based on just a few words from Umemiya.

It proved that not only did Sakura have a kind heart, but he could apply newly gained knowledge (this happened again at the bridge, where they had to defend the town from Noroshi, Sakura had learnt to take his environment into account in a fight) very quickly.

The Aftermath of Shishitouren Arc

It seemed that Umemiya had officially made the decision to foster Sakura to become the next leader after that. His attitude had changed.

Moreover, later into the day, instead of hinting vaguely, he explained the concept of a conversation through fists in great details this time.

Doesn't it look like he's teaching it to Sakura? Umemiya only did this because he had officially recognize Sakura as his successor, or at least, his direct mentee.

Throughout Wind Breaker

Umemiya entrusted Sakura with the class leader position, directed him to Kaji for experience, and let him face Endou. Not only did Sakura's credibility increase, but the last point is very interesting because no matter how strong and good at fighting the boy is, Umemiya must have been aware that Sakura is NOT going to win going against a beast like Endou.

Personally, I believe this is a very good parallel to the way Suou taught Nirei how to fight. Umemiya was letting Sakura experience, and from the newest chapters we can tell that Sakura was learning a lot from this challenge.

Why didn't Umemiya choose another person?

Million-dollar question! This was my missing piece, which had been preventing me from writing this post in the first place. Umemiya was in third year, he definitely needed to find a new leader for Boufuurin before he and the four generals graduated. If Sakura didn't arrive at Makochi, then who would be the next leader?

Well folks, with the newest chapter (chapter 146), I can finally give you an answer in the form of a theory.

Umemiya was going to train Sugishita to become the next leader.

I'm making a separate post for this theory, which is coming VERY SOON (I am writing it right after this post). In the mean time, can you guess why? :3

UPDATE: THEORY IS UP!

As a thank you for reading this far, have this Sakura playlist.

[poppy-metal]

haunted by beyonce is so creep au. i was about it because i love my little freaks and listening to that song. would making a spotify playlist for it be too far lol? little sneak peek...

he spends the rest of his time at college a near recluse. re-reading your old letters. he crumbles them in his hand and feels a need to punch or stab at something but every time he finds himself smoothing them out gently. he tries to channel his anger into other ways. tries not to let this fester in him and make him even worse but it's too late for him to decide. how is he meant to move on when he can't hear a bird chirp without all his thoughts turning to you? 

-☕

AURRRRRRRR

he graduates stanford. its all hazy. he went kind of comatose after your last letter. he sat in his room for days just..... staring at the ceiling. numb. he gets precariously close to failing all of his classes and only slightly comes out of it when he's confronted by patrick and his grandmother calls him worrying about him. he manages to pull himself enough together to push through his last semester. worst of all - he stops playing tennis for awhile. anything that used to make him happy just pisses him off. he moves states with patrick when he offers because the thought of being alone is too daunting. he doesn't trust himself.

patrick and art buy an apartment together - patrick goes pro - art...... stays home. the reality of your absence hits him months later and he comes out of his numb state of shock and its bad. he's self destructive and meaner and he cries more often than he ever used to. he burns half your letters - almost burns the apartment down doing it - but stops halfway through and saves the last remaining ones. he rereads them religiously. he wonders how all of it could be fake. he wonders why he didn't just throw them away when they first started coming. why did he have to engage? he thinks the worst of himself - what kind of pathetic deranged freak he must be to have found these words appealing? to be touched? to fall for someone he doesn't even know? patrick worries about him. they fight alot. patrick isn't used to this kind of art. this miserable, sad, snappish art. he tries to get him back into tennis - but everytime art holds a racket he feels sick. he remembers how much you wrote about it - his tennis. how beautiful you thought he was when he played. how you'd always been watching him. he thinks about you seeing him on TV and not even recognizing him because of how little he meant to you.

he tells patrick he's taking a hiatus from tennis thats all. the media goes crazy about it. but he deactivates all of his accounts.

its been a few years now and people are getting antsy. they want art donaldson back. patrick is niggling him again. he says art looks alot better than he did before. that it'd be good for him. art doesn't know what he wants. being famous again doesn't feel as thrilling as it used to. he wants to be normal again, though. he's gotten good at pretending, at least. he has a job at his local bookstore and he can smile at people and he's having sex and he goes out with patrick sometimes. there's no reason he shouldn't be back out there.

but he's not okay. he's a viper wrapped in the body of a man. he's filled with poison and he wants to inject it into the world around him every day. he still writes to you - he texts your old number - senseless things. the rambles of a mad man. he wants you to turn on the TV and see him step out onto a court as art donaldson again and he wants you to feel him through the screen. he wants you to be watching when he wins and he wants you watching when an interviewer asks him what its like to be back so he can look at the camera and pretend its your eyes he's meeting through the screen when he says, "I've never felt more motivated."

"and what's motivating you, mr. donaldson?"

a smile. "reconnecting with an old friend."

the good thing about being back into tennis, art has found - is the money. money he can use to find you. money he already plans on using to find you.

[crystalandparrot]

ROTTMNT x Reader

Part 1, Part 2

The flashing of cameras and the voices of reporters was the first thing Leonardo heard as he stepped out of his limo. Due to the long plane ride, Leo decided to wear comfort over fashion, although it's hard for him to look bad in anything. He wore a white wife-beater, revealing his plastron and tattooed arms. Much like his brother, Leonardo loved art, he just loved it in a more show-off sense. Of course, he let his brother give him his first tattoo, a large colored portrait of their family on his thigh. On his legs were blue sweats, a personal favorite that his agent always advised him not to wear. Expensive shoes designed for him specifically adorned his feet. Finally, silver chains decorated his wrists and neck (he would have chosen gold, but his brother advised against it. C'mon, blue and gold?), glistening with each movement. He flashed a smirk at the cameras and gave finger guns at fans. One of his bodyguards leaned close to whisper in his ear, "You have a meeting with the executive producers in thirty minutes."

"Which means I get at least twenty-eight minutes to strut my stuff." Leo chuckled. With split-second motions, Leo changed between poses, performing for the camera.

"-mask!"

Leo turned and stared into the crowd, "W-Who said that?" The crowd parted as if making way for a royal or God to walk without interruption. A small woman with a microphone in her hand shook as Leo approached. "Just now, you said something, what was it?"

The small girl stuttered, "I asked i-if you could put on y-your mask. F-for a picture for Channel 10?"

Leo's heart dropped, and his breathing quickened. A pat on his shoulder shook him out of his mini panic attack. He nodded thanks at his bodyguard and gave the reporter a quick grin, " I don't even know where that old thing went! It's been, what, psshh, five years? It's probably shoved in a box somewhere." That satiated the hungry reporters and fans, for now. Leo and his bodyguard left, heading off to the large building behind the crowd.

Okay, first things first. You don't know the old password so you can't change it to one you'll remember. So you changed the screen dimming time to never. Now the phone won't shut off on its own. Dialing your number, you called about three times with no answer. A sudden thought crosses your mind, causing your palm to hit your face. Your phone was on silent. Taking a deep breath, you quickly texted your number, explaining the situation and the password to unlock your phone. That way the turtle Yokai won't be as clueless as you are now.

With nothing else to do, you connected your headphones to the turtle's phone and searched for Spotify. It was his fault, the least he could do was spare some tunes. Wait a minute...his Spotify account...this dude was Othello Von Ryan? Man, you couldn't wait to see him again. His studying playlists kept you awake and alert through college! His barrage of random music, ranging from 80's dancing music to hardcore techno kept your mind alert and focused. Donnie, or, Othello Von Ryan, helped you with memory. Oddly enough, some of the quirky tunes in his playlists gave you memorization songs.

In fact, now that you think about it, Donnie looked an awful lot like your favorite actor--

"(Y/n)! Come in, dear! I've been expecting you!" A shrill voice called from across the street.

You looked up, spotting Mrs. Erin, the Heron Yokai. You grinned, pulling your headphones out of your ears and shoving them in your pocket. You waved at the Yokai as you crossed the street, stepping into her swampy garden. "How's your husband, Mrs. Erin?"

"Oh, Harry's fine! Come in! Come in! Let me get you a cup of tea." The old Yokai hobbled inside, her talons dragging across the waterlogged wood. You followed behind closely, used to the drab environment. You learned throughout life that the more you understand how something came to be, the more beautiful it becomes. With a clap from you, the twinkling string of lights came on. It's warm glow bouncing off the waxy leaves that broke through the cracked windows. Dew drops fell onto the wet floor, filling the room with quiet plip plaps.

A chipped cup of lukewarm tea was placed in your hand. A feathery hand pushed you down onto an old rocking chair, the owner of the hand sitting down across from you. "I want you to tell me all about this new job!" Erin grinned with a toothless smile.

"It's just a small librarian job at the school up top." You said, sipping your tea.

"Up top! With all those-those monsters?" Erin screeched.

"They're not all monsters! Some of them—"

"(Y/n). When your mother died I promised your father I'd make sure that you were safe! W-wouldn't you rather stay home? Marry a nice Yokai and settle down?" Erin tottered closer to you and grabbed your hands.

You chuckled, "I'm not exactly looking for someone to settle down with yet. I'm ready to get out there and explore! Besides, I can protect myself!" You said, proudly.

"E-even with all the humans?" Erin stuttered.

You blinked at Erin, your face neutral, "Mrs. Erin. I'm human."

"I know! B-but you're one of the good ones! I'd hate for you to go up top where I won't know what happened—Oh!" The old Yokai snatched the cup of tea from your hands and peered into the old china. She glared at the leaves and swirled the remaining liquid in the cup. With a gasp that jostled your core, Erin’s beak stretched into a long smile. She breathed a sigh of relief and set down the cup. “I was worried for nothing. You’re going to fall in love and get married to a nice, young, handsome Yokai.”

You shook your head, yet a smile still sat on your cheeks, “Maybe in a couple of years, Mrs. Erin. I’m not in any rush to get married to anyone right now.”

“Oh, I’m sure!” The Heron chuckled like she knew something you didn’t. Without warning, she began pushing you out of the house. “Okay, bye-bye now! The quicker you go up top the faster you fall in love!” With that, the door was slammed in your face, the sound echoing through the marshy area.

“Love you too.” You said flatly. You pulled the mystery phone back out of your pocket and put in your earbuds again. When you clicked onto Spotify, a notification popped up.

“Leonardo Hamato back in NYC for upcoming movie shoot, exclusive interview from Channel 10.”

Huh. How weird would it be if you ran into your favorite actor while after just moving back up top? Probably entirely impossible, but it was nice to hope, right?

"Shoved in a box?! Did you hear him?"

"I did."

"Shoved in a box?! Ugh! He's just so—"

"Annoying, pompous, overconfident, lacking in empathy, ass-like?"

Mikey turned to Donnie, his hair falling into his face as his head whipped around. "I was gonna say stupid, but yeah, those work too." Mikey nodded, turning back to the T.V, seeing the reporters final words to the camera once Leo left the cameras view.

Donnie felt himself N.E., which stood for Nose Exhale. Mikey learned that phrase years ago and thought it was more fitting than L.O.L for his emotionally unavailable brother. While it was rare for Donnie to "laugh out loud", when he found something humorous, he always let out a little breath of a chuckle through his nose.

"I just...out of everything he could have done...why'd he have to take away the one thing that..."

When Mikey paused, Donnie looked up from his purple holographic screens that he had been typing on. He saw Mikey looking at the screen sadly, and he knew it wasn't from the sad dog commercial that came on, but the interview that came before it. "That what, Michael?" Donnie asked, the screens disappearing.

"Nothing, it's stupid," Mikey sniffed, wiping his eyes before tears could escape.

"Leo is stupid, you're emotionally intelligent. You obviously have a reason to feel what you feel. You're not stupid for feeling emotions, Michelangelo." Donnie used his full name with the intention of leaving an impact.

Mikey chuckled and turned to Donnie, tears running down his smiling face, "Thanks, D."

Donnie nodded and sat up in his bean bag (yes it was his, the purple color made it obvious), "I may have taken a page or two from Dr. Delicate Touch," he shrugged.

"Nah, that was Dr. Feelings for sure," Mikey joked, knowing his brother was rather uncomfortable with feelings, but to be fair, he had gotten a lot better. Realizing this, Mikey sighed. Donnie appreciated honesty over anything, so this was something he needed to get off his chest, for his sake and his brother's. "Dad always called us by the color of our masks. Red, Orange, Purple...but Leo's not wearing his anymore. It's like he disowned us...he's not Blue anymore." Mikey began tucking his head and limbs into his shell with every word. By the end of his sentence, only his shell was visible sitting in front of the empty recliner.

This time Donnie sighed, he stood and gripped the purple beanbag so it stayed comfortably on his rear while he shuffled towards his brother. Letting gravity help him, Donnie let himself and the beanbag fall to the ground. He wiggled slightly and hummed, pleased at the fact that his position hadn't changed and the beanbag was still holding his shell and rear perfectly. Using his hand, he hesitantly patted Mikey's shell in comfort. "Leonardo's done some idiotic things in the past. I'd put this in his top ten, actually." Donnie thought aloud, but shook his head, remembering his original point, "He’s a dumb-dumb but, unfortunately, he'll never stop being our brother."

Mikey poked his head out, looking in Donnie's eyes for...something. A lie? Hope? Donnie didn't know, but whatever he found, he liked it, because the next moment, Mikey had his head and limbs out. He outstretched his arms, but didn't move aside from that. Donnie rolled his eyes, although a small smile poked at his lips. With a nod from Donnie, Mikey jumped onto him, giving him the tightest hug that he thought he'd ever received. Donnie hugged back.

Thankfully for Donnie, Mikey understood boundaries, and separated from Donnie before the hug got too overwhelming. Sloppily wiping his tears and sucking up his snot, Mikey gave Donnie a sincere smile. "Thanks, Don."

Donnie nodded, a small smile on his own lips. Out of his battle shell came a robotic arm holding a tissue. Mikey took the tissue and blew his nose as the robotic arm retracted back into the shell. "Hey-"

"I would prefer if you finished blowing your nose before you change the subject, please." Donnie asked, pulling up his holographic screens once more with the help of his Ninpō.

Mikey obeyed, then tossed the tissue into the trashcan on the other side of the room. When it landed, Mikey pumped his fist in a silent cheer. "What happened at the Mystic City? We were chasing Meat Sweats and you stopped to talk to some girl." Mikey remembered.

"Oh, yeah. Raph was texting about meeting for dinner, so I naturally opened my messages to form a reply, when—" Donnie pulled out his phone to show Mikey the texts when he immediately felt something amiss. The case was the same, the weight was equal to his phone, the model was the exact same, everything looked fine. But this is Donnie, he lost his phone for less than a day and went nearly insane when he was still a teenager. Give him a week and he might've made a phone from just things in the woods. He knew everything about his phone.

"Donnie?" Mikey called, noticing his brother's sudden silence.

Shakily, Donnie turned over the phone, noticing the background first, then the surplus of texts and calls from his phone number. He whispered something too quiet for Mikey to hear.

"What?" Mikey asked, putting his hand up to the side of his head where his ear would have been.

"This. Isn't. My. Phone."

[justagalwhowrites]

Homecoming - DBF!Joel x Female Reader

It's been years since you moved away from home but you never stopped wishing your dad's best friend Joel Miller saw you as something more. Request from @reds-ramblings!

Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: No Outbreak AU, legal age gap (Joel is 40 you are 26), SMUTTTTTTT oral (f receiving), p in v sex, one shot. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only!

Length: 4.4k (sorry guys, I got carried away)

You sighed, looking up at the ceiling of your childhood bedroom. It was still that popcorn shit. Your mom had redone most of the house since you’d moved out but your room was still intact. Still had the movie posters, the caricatures of you with your best friends from trips to Six Flags in the summer, the mountain of stuffed animals that were covered in a fine layer of dust in a hammock that hung from the ceiling. 

It was a little like being in a museum, relics of who you’d been a decade ago when you’d first moved into this house in the Austin suburbs with your parents. You hadn’t known how to drive yet when you moved in here. You were a different person now. A different person who lived in Chicago and had a job you loved and still came running home to your childhood bedroom when shit got hard. 

You sighed, bouncing a tennis ball off the popcorn ceiling. 

“Fuck it,” you muttered, getting up and rifling through your suitcase. 

Your parents weren’t home. They wouldn’t be for a few more days - too busy lying on a beach in Maui - so you had the place to yourself. At least there was the pool. 

You found the sluttiest bikini you had since you’d be too embarrassed to wear it around your parents anyway but dammit you’d bought the stupid thing so you were going to wear it. You slid into it, admiring yourself in the mirror for a second. This would have looked way better on a beach in the Caribbean. This was a swim suit meant to make a man fuck you in the ocean. It was not a swim suit meant to be worn in your parents’ pool. But you needed something to feel good about. 

You put your earbuds in and pulled up your favorite playlist, dancing a little as you put on the gauzy white coverup, straw hat and flip flops before heading downstairs. 

It was almost like the shuffle mode on your playlist was reading your mind. Lizzo came on just as you made it to the kitchen and you turned it up as loud as you couldn’t without fully deafening yourself. 

“Why men great ’til they gotta be great?” You more yelled it than sang it, grabbing the tortilla chips and salsa you’d picked up on your way to the house the day before. You went into the freezer next, grabbing the frozen margarita pouch. 

“You coulda had a bad bitch, noncommittal,” you nudged the drawer closed with your leg. “Help you…HOLY SHIT.” 

You almost leapt out of your skin, dropping the plastic container of salsa and the bag of margarita to the tile floor. You clutched your heart that felt like it was threatening to burst out of your chest with one hand and tore your earbuds out with the other. 

Joel Miller was leaning against the counter, watching you and smiling, arms crossed over his chest. 

“Jesus Christ, Joel!” You panted, dropping the earbuds to the counter before leaning against it to keep from falling over. “What the fuck, man?” 

“Don’t stop on my account,” he smiled a little wider. “You were puttin’ on a great show…” 

“Ha ha,” you glared at him. 

“No, really, stadium quality performance there, Princess,” he said. “I’d buy tickets…” 

You rolled your eyes before bending over and picking up the mercifully still intact containers of salsa and frozen margarita, trying to not think about the fact that you were in the sluttiest bikini you’d ever owned in front of Joel fucking Miller. Joel Miller, your dad’s best friend. Joel Miller, guy who lived across the street. Joel Miller, man you’d basically been in love with since you were 16 years old. 

How was it that he’d gotten better looking? There should be limits on this shit, men who were as gorgeous as Joel Miller shouldn’t be allowed to get hotter as they aged. His graying hair made him look experienced, wiser somehow. The wrinkles around his eyes made his already gorgeous chocolate brown gaze look softer and sweeter. It was a dangerous combination. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, heart rate returning to normal. Or, normal for when Joel was in your immediate vicinity, anyway. 

“Your dad told me I could borrow a ladder,” he shrugged. “Said it was in the shed out back. Told me to let myself in. DIdn’t mention you’d be here. Promise I wasn’t trying to scare you.” 

“What kind of contractor doesn’t have a ladder?” You frowned. “Sounds like you’re falling down on the job, Miller.” 

“I don’t have it at my house because I left it on a job, Princess,” he stepped closer, smile shifting to more of a cocky smirk. “But needed one at home and didn’t really feel like drivin’ clear across Austin to pick it up. 

“But that’s beside the point, what are you doing here?” He asked. “Ain’t you some big time city girl now?” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Just decided to come home for a visit,” you replied. 

“While your parents are on vacation,” he said, skeptical. You narrowed your eyes at him. “C’mon, what’s goin’ on.” 

You sighed and groaned a little. 

“I was supposed to be in The Bahamas this week,” you said. “Booked it a few months back.” 

“So why aren’t you in The Bahamas this week?” He asked after you were silent for a minute. You rapped your fingers on the counter, nails clacking on the granite. 

“I got dumped, alright?” You groaned. “It was supposed to be a trip with my now ex for our one year anniversary but we broke up a month ago and now he’s in The Bahamas with Laurel from accounting.” 

“Shit,” Joel’s face fell a little. “I’m sorry that…” 

“It’s fine,” you sighed. “I wasn’t really that into him, honestly. I was surprised we lasted as long as we did. But I wasn’t about to sit in Chicago in April when I’d already bought enough bikinis to last a week on the beach. And hey at least there’s a fucking pool and it’s above freezing here.” 

When you mentioned the bikinis, his eyes finally left your face, quickly trailing up and down your body before looking back at your face. 

“He’s a fuckin’ idiot, Princess,” he said. “Promise there are better ones out there than that and lord knows you deserve better.” 

“Thanks,” you smiled a little. “Anyway, you’re here for a ladder, not to keep me company.” 

“Depends,” he nodded at the margarita pouch. “Got another one of those?” 

You scoffed. 

“C’mon,” you went into the freezer and grabbed another pouch. “The hell do you take me for?” 

You poured the drinks into the plastic margarita glasses your mom had bought for a party when you were a teenager and handed one to Joel before you both went outside. Joel sat on a lounge chair but you set your glass down on the edge of the pool, stepped out of your flip flops and draped your coverup on a chair next to him. 

“You’re getting in?” He asked. “Thought that was more of a… layin’ around swim suit thing you girls like to wear.” 

“Didn’t fly across the country to not get the suit wet,” you glanced over your shoulder at him. His eyes immediately rose from your ass to your face as you did. “You’re welcome to join me.” 

You jumped in the water, sinking down to the bottom, water so cold that it made your nipples harden and press against the thin fabric of the suit. You swam back to the surface and to the edge of the pool, grabbing your margarita. Joel was watching you. 

“You coming in or not?” You teased. 

“Don’t think I feel like goin’ and getting changed,” he said. 

“Never said you had to,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. “Come on. You saw me dancing around my parents kitchen and heard my sob story. I think I can see you in your underwear.” 

He looked away from you for a moment, a twitch in his jaw, before he shook his head for a moment. 

“Alright, Princess,” he stood up and pulled off his shirt in one fluid movement. You were trying not to stare. It’s not like you’d never seen him without a shirt before. He’d been swimming at your house with your parents before. He took his shirt off when mowing the lawn and you’d peer through your window and watch him when you were a teenager. But this was the first time he’d taken his shirt off because you wanted him to and that fact almost made his biceps seem more sculpted, his chest more beautiful. His hands went to his jeans as he stepped out of his boots. He unbuttoned and unzipped his fly, starting to pull the denim down. “Your wish, my command.” 

“That is how I like it,” you took another drink. 

He stripped out of his jeans and down to his black boxer briefs. You resisted the urge to lick your lips at the sight of him, just a thin layer of fabric covering his thick, long cock. 

You shook yourself mentally. Yes, you’d had a crush on Joel for 10 years. Yes, you wanted him to fuck you six ways from Sunday. Yes, it looked like his cock would be far and away the largest you’d ever had. But he was your dad’s best friend and 14 years older than you. His daughter was closer to your age than he was. Nothing was going to happen. 

He jumped in the water, purposely landing close enough to you to splash you with it and you laughed, wiping the chlorinated water from your eyes. 

“Fuck that’s cold,” he said when he came up. “Feelin’ like you got me in here under false pretenses…” 

You swam for a bit, catching up on life, drinking your margaritas. Joel told you about Sarah, how she was doing at A&M and about one client he’d been stuck with who kept changing shit half way through the project. 

“Swear to God the next time this woman changes her tile, I’m driving off a fuckin’ bridge,” he said. 

You told him about your life in Chicago. The promotion you’d just gotten at work, the fact that you’d become enough of a regular at the bar down the street from your apartment that the bartenders knew you now. 

You’d been in the water long enough that your drinks were long empty and your fingertips were starting to prune, leaning against the edge of the pool with your arms propped on the ledge, close enough that your elbows touched. 

Joel’s eyes ran over you, from your hairline to your face to your throat to your chest. Your nipples were still peaked against your suit and your wet hair clung to your neck. 

“What?” You asked, smiling a little. 

“Any plans later?” He asked. “Can’t have you sittin’ at home all by your lonesome when you were supposed to be havin’ a good time this week.” 

“Offering to show me a good time?” You teased. 

“Don’t tell your dad that,” he teased back. “But I’m going out with some of Tommy’s friends later. Think you’d have fun if you wanted to come along. Just some drinking, music, dancing. Usual shit. Assuming you don’t have plans with any old friends from school or somethin’.” 

“Ah yes, my vibrant social life in high school,” you said, smirking a little. 

You’d been a wallflower before you went to college. You hadn’t fit in well with your classmates, you hadn’t really grown into your body yet - all awkward limbs and unruly hair. College had been your chance to reinvent yourself and you’d leaned into it. You still remembered the first time you came home on break from school your freshman year. 

You and your roommate, Carolyn, had become fast friends and she was easily the most fashionable person you’d ever met. She’d helped you come into your own in your first semester away and you’d basically replaced every item of clothing in your closet with finds from every thrift store within a 20 mile radius of Northwestern. You’d changed your hair, figured out that blue eyeshadow was NOT your thing and just started feeling more confident. 

That Christmas break, you had just grabbed a package off the porch for your mom and were carrying it around to the garage to stash where your dad wouldn’t find it when Joel stopped you. 

“Hey,” he said, sounding a bit defensive as he jogged over to you. “That yours?” 

You stopped, frowning, before turning to face him. His eyes went wide. 

“I mean, it’s my mom’s…” 

“Shit, I’m sorry Princess,” he said, looking you up and down. “Didn’t even recognize you! Must be liking Chicago…” 

You definitely liked your new sense of style even more after that. 

“I’d be down to go out,” you said. “Better than playing catch against my ceiling all night.”

“Pick you up in two hours?” He said. “We’ll hit the town.” 

Once Joel left with the ladder, you focused on calming yourself down while getting ready to go. 

Yes, it was Joel. Yes, he might have checked you out a bit in the pool. Yes, you’d do more than you were really comfortable admitting to get him into bed. But he was still Joel, your neighbor and your dad’s best friend. That made him pretty much off limits. 

Right? 

You’d brought a few of the dresses you’d bought for The Bahamas and you slipped into the one that hugged your curves in just the right way. Just in case. 

“Shit, Princess,” Joel said when you answered the door. “Think you might be a bit overdressed for this crowd.” 

“I can change,” you frowned. 

“No!” He said quickly. Then cleared his throat. “No, don’t… Don’t worry about it.”

Joel drove you to a bar with live music and a table full of people he seemed to know about half of. Tommy, his brother, clapped him on the back and whispered something in his ear that made Joel glare at him. 

He’d been right, though, it was fun. You stuck close to Joel at first, bodies near enough that your arm would brush his chest if you picked up your beer. But then one of Tommy’s friends asked you to dance and pulled you onto the dance floor. His name was Jim and you were pretty sure he was closer to Joel’s age than Tommy’s. His hands slid down your body, pulling your hips against his as you moved with him. Joel’s eyes were on you the whole time. 

You only danced with Jim for a song and a half before Joel appeared over his shoulder. 

“Mind if I cut in?” He asked, giving Jim a look that made it seem like he didn’t have a lot of other options. Jim stepped back just as the music started to shift to something a bit slower. Joel took one of your hands in his and slipped the other around to your back, his fingers splayed wide against you, pulling you against him. 

“DIdn’t take you for the dancing type,” you smiled a little as you started to sway. 

“M’not,” he said. “Not usually, anyway.” 

“Really?” You teased. “So I’m a special case, hm?” 

“Somethin’ like that,” he said. “Can’t let my best friend’s little girl go runnin’ around with some old man.” 

“But what if I like old men?” You asked. 

“Should pick a better one than Jim then,” he replied. 

“Never said I liked Jim,” you said. “Not my type.” 

“What is your type?” He asked, his eyes drifting over your face to your neck to your breasts. 

You swallowed, hard. 

“Contractors.”

He ground his teeth for a moment before stepping back from you and leaving the bar. 

“Shit,” you muttered, trailing behind him to the parking lot. 

“Joel!” You called out to him. “Wait!” 

He stopped and turned to face you. 

“You don’t know what you’re sayin’ in there,” he said. “So just give me some space, OK?” 

“I know perfectly well what I was saying,” you said. 

“No,” he shook his head. “You don’t. You shouldn’t go around sayin’ shit like that…” 

“Oh, so you wanted me to lie then?” You asked.

“Princess,” there was a warning in his voice. “You don’t want to go here.” 

“Yes, I do,” you said. “It’s not like I’m some little kid, Joel, I’m 26 years old…” 

“That’s too damn young,” he snapped. 

“It’s not like I don’t know what I want,” you replied. 

“You’re my best friend’s daughter,” he said. 

“So?” 

“Get in the truck,” he growled. You frowned. “Want to talk about this like adults? Get in the damn truck.” 

You hesitated for a moment before you obeyed. 

“You don’t know what you’re sayin’,” he said again after he’d been driving for a few minutes. 

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?” You asked, offended now. “That I just say shit I don’t mean with no understanding of the consequences?” 

“No, I think you’re young,” he snapped. “Too young to be even joking about getting involved with someone closer to your dad’s age than yours.” 

“Wasn’t joking,” you said defiantly. He glanced over at you before looking back to the road. 

“Princess,” he said, the warning tone back in his voice. 

“Joel.” 

He glared at you. 

“We’re not doin’ anything,” he said. His grip tightened on the steering wheel. 

You stared out the window, the ache between your thighs warring with the hurt in your chest. 

He dropped you at your door and you practically jumped out of the truck, not saying a word. He sighed and followed you, catching you as you were trying to unlock the door without crying.  It was hard not feeling stung by it. Yes, he was your dad’s best friend. Yes, he probably had better options. Yes, there were plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t fuck or anything more. But this rejection hurt somehow more than your ex dumping you for fucking Laurel in accounting. 

“Princess,” he said quietly. 

“Look it’s fine if you’re not interested,” you said, sniffing a little. “But don’t act like you’re doing it for my benefit. It’s shitty.” 

“Not…” he touched your shoulder, making you turn around. “You really think I’m not fuckin’ interested?” 

You shrugged. 

“How the fuck would I not be interested?” He asked. “Jesus Christ, spent half the goddamn afternoon thinkin’ about baseball stats so I wouldn’t get a hard on in your fuckin’ pool. All I am is interested.” 

“Interested in what?” 

“Interested in fucking you until you can’t see straight,” he said. “Interested in makin’ you cum so much the only thing you remember is my goddamn name. Interested in eating your pussy til I drown in ya. Interested in your dad punching me in the fuckin’ face over you because I’m too old for you but I don’t give a shit, bein’ with you is worth it. I’m interested.” 

He stepped closer to you, your back against the door. 

“You should come inside then,” you breathed. 

He kissed you then, pressing his body against yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You could feel him through his jeans, thicker and longer than what you saw in the pool before. You fumbled with the door until it opened, both of you spilling into your parents’ entryway. 

You didn’t make it past the living room. 

Joel slid the straps of your dress down your arms and you pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor. You backed up until you were against the arm of the couch, his hands ranging over your skin. He pushed the dress lower until it was over your hips and it fell to the floor. You were just in your panties and your shoes when he nudged you down onto the arm of the couch. 

He kissed down your body, over the swell of your breasts and down your stomach until he reached the top of your panties. He guided your hips off the arm of the couch for a moment and slid your underwear down and cast them aside before kneeling in front of you and spreading your legs. 

“Fucking hell you’ve got a pretty pussy,” he reached out and ran his thumb over your slit, pressing down a little when he reached your clit, making your back arch as you moaned. “Can’t wait to taste you, Princess.” 

He ran his tongue over you, delicately pressing the tip into your folds. One of his hands slid up your body to your chest, gently pushing you back until you were lying on the couch as his mouth worked your slit. 

“Fuckin’ perfect view,” he said before thrusting his tongue into you. You groaned, rocking your hips against his face, his nose pressing into your clit as you did. You could see his eyes devouring the rest of you the way his mouth was devouring your pussy, like there was no part of him that could get enough of you. 

His fingers dug into your thighs, spreading you open wider so his tongue could get deeper, your core tightening around him. Just as you were getting close, he slid his tongue from you, making you whimper as he kissed up your slit to your clit. He took the delicate nub into his mouth, licking and sucking as he thrust two fingers into your dripping pussy, making you gasp and your hips stutter. 

“Good girl,” he pulled his mouth away from you just enough to praise you. His fingers pressed deep, hooking into you and finding the spot inside you that made you gasp. “Want you to cum for me baby, don’t be shy now.” 

He went back to sucking, his tongue unrelenting, his eyes drinking you in. Your hand flew to the cushions of the couch and you gasped as you came, moaning his name. 

His mouth stayed on you until your body stopped pulsing, his fingers gently working you through your orgasm. He almost reluctantly pulled himself from you and licked his lips as he stood, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, stripping off the last of his clothes as you came down from your orgasm. He reached out and took your hand, pulling you back upright on the arm of the couch. 

Joel kissed you again and you could taste yourself on his tongue. He guided your legs around his waist and slid his hands below your thighs, picking you up and making you gasp. 

He didn’t take you far, only to the couch. He sat down, making you kneel on his lap as he reached between your legs and started stroking himself, close enough to you that his knuckles brushed your overwrought slit as he did. You looked down between you, the first chance you really had to see his cock. 

Your eyes went a little wide at the sight of it. He was so thick and long with a slight curve, you were almost afraid he wouldn’t fit. 

“Take it at your own pace, Baby,” he said, all but reading your mind. “M’not in a rush.” 

He adjusted his cock a bit, making it so the edge of him rubbed your clit as he worked himself. The contact made you needy, a sharp ache growing in you, a feeling deep inside that you knew you couldn’t reach but he could. 

You rose up on your knees, your hands on his shoulders, and he rubbed his thick head against your slit, your wetness spilling over him as he worked it lower down his shaft, coating himself in you. 

“So fucking wet for me,” he groaned, lining his head up with your entrance. 

“All for you,” you breathed, lowering yourself onto him. 

You moaned at the intrusion as you pressed him into you, a spark of pain with the pleasure as he stretched you. 

“Fuck Baby,” he groaned, his hands going to your hips, guiding you down over him as you sank lower onto him. “Fuck, so tight, so goddamn…” 

You couldn’t help but smile a little, watching him start to lose himself in your body, his head falling back, eyes closing, fingertips sinking into your flesh. Your body opened for him, his cock parting your inner walls and stretching you. You groaned when you finally took all of him, his head pressed flush against your back wall as his hips ground against your own. 

“Good girl,” he gasped it out, his hands traveling up from your hips to your waist. “Knew you could take it all…” 

You started working over him, rising and falling on his cock, working your hips down against your own. His hands slipped up your back as he looked up at you, kissing your neck, your chest, trailing his tongue along the swell of your breasts. 

Joel pressed you close to him before he thrust deep into you and shifted, laying you down below him on the couch and sinking somehow deeper into you, making you moan. 

He started fucking into you harder and faster then, angling your hips so your clit was pressed against him with every stroke. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you groaned, pressing yourself against him, wanting to feel him everywhere you could. “Harder… need more…” 

He groaned. 

“Fucking perfect,” he buried his face in your neck as he started working you harder, faster. “You’re goddamn perfect…” 

It wasn’t long before you were cumming around him, your pussy gripping him so tight it almost hurt to hold him that way. He fucked you through your orgasm, his breathing faster, his kiss sloppy. 

The second your walls stopped fluttering around him, he pulled out of you. He sat back and fisted his cock. 

“Where?” He said quickly. 

“My clit,” you panted. 

“Fucking hell,” he moaned, jerking his cock just twice before pressing the tip against your swollen nub and spilling his warmth over you, making your ultra sensitive pussy shudder again. He collapsed on top of you, his face buried in your neck as you both caught your breath. 

“Please say you’ll visit more,” he said, not moving from on top of you. 

“Think I’ll be visiting a lot more.” 

A/N: So this was my first request and my first one shot! I am NOT good at keeping things brief lol so I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you for reading! Love ya!

[magnus-sm-writes]

WIP Re-Intro: Lessons in Humanity from a Future Physicist

Genre: Literary Fiction, Coming-of-Age | Status: Rewriting | Playlist | Pinterest

Way back in the day—I think on my old account, which I lost the password and the email for—, I wrote a WIP intro for Lessons in Humanity from a Future Physicist. Looking back, it’s not up to the standards that I hold now, which is a sign that things have changed for the better. Things have also changed since then. 

Lessons in Humanity is my oldest work. This year, it turns ten years old. That’s older than 3/4 of my sister’s kids, older than my relationship, and older than even my own name. It’s crazy to think that I’ve been writing this book for almost half of my life, and crazier still that I keep changing things about it. These are characters I made when I was a lonely, angsty tweenager who was feeling weird things about my gender and place in the world.

The first draft of Lessons in Humanity, which was called We’re All Dead After All, was a disaster of depression that honestly concerns me, looking back at it. I was deeply sad at this time. Things have vastly improved since then, though I still do like a tragic story every now and then.

It’s no longer a story drenched in my own pre-teen depression; it’s a story about growing up and changing. I think that’s what makes it so personal to me; that I’ve been changing things about it as I’ve grown up and changed.

Lessons in Humanity is about Kam Suzuki and his best friend Zach Amsel as they begin their first semester at Miami University (in Oxford, Ohio). While there, Kam has a difficult time adjusting to the change and finds himself crumbling under the weight of some issues he has yet to deal with. 

A more literal way to put it is: Kam experiences the absolute Hell I went through (mentally) when I graduated university.

It’s more of a literary fiction character study than something with a big, overarching plot. Think My Year of Rest and Relaxation literary fiction versus The Secret History literary fiction. Nothing big and grand happens in it. It’s a quiet story about a guy slowly wearing himself into nothing and then building himself back up (with the help of his friends). There’s a romantic subplot that I only ended up adding because it felt natural.

I think what makes Lessons in Humanity so important to me isn’t just that I’ve been working on it for almost half my life. It’s also that, whenever I go through a difficult time of change, I come back to it. Case in point: I’m writing this update right now because, in six weeks, the American branch of my company will lay us all off. Lessons in Humanity brings me comfort when I feel directionless because Kam feels the same way. Dare I call it my comfort work.

As a (likely-autistic) trans guy myself, Kam was me before I was even me. For all the time I’ve been writing him, Kam has been a way to understand myself and the things I felt. Of course he’s like me. 

My biggest hope with this book is that it does for others what it’s been doing for me. I love Lessons in Humanity when I’m feeling unsure and afraid of change. If it can comfort other people in those times—or any other time—, then I consider it to be a success, no matter what. The idea of Lessons in Humanity from a Future Physicist being someone’s comfort book makes me want to cry.

I haven’t done a full rewrite of Lessons in Humanity since 2020. Since then, I’ve gone to university and gotten (part) of the full experience, and I’m going to add quite a bit of realism to what wasn’t accurate before.

(My husband and I are going to go on a small trip to Oxford, Ohio in October once the layoffs are finished so I can get a little bit of a refresher on the town. I haven’t been in two years, and that was back when I was doing Doordash.)

Kam Suzuki

One of my first ever queer characters, Kam will always hold a dear place in my heart. It’s not that much of a joke when I say that Kam is my self-insert character. When you list out our traits, we look almost the same. And yet, I do take some steps to make Kam a little different from me. I take aspects of people in my life that I love (which I do for all of my characters) that are far different from me and put them in him.

Despite being obsessed with his physical fitness, Kam is someone who doesn’t deal with his problems. He locks them in his chest and lets them claw away at him until he can’t stand it anymore. Unfortunately, that happens to him during the events of Lessons in Humanity. There’s some stuff he’s been holding in for far too long, like his trauma from walking in on his twin brother’s suicide attempt, along with his general hatred of things changing and fear of abandonment. 

Kam’s lifelong dream is to work for NASA. He’s been obsessed with space and science since he was a small child, so of course, he’s a Physics major. He’s also the type of person who works himself to the bone for success. (In this way, we are the same.)

Zach Amsel

Something I love about Zach is that it feels like he’s the other part of me. What Kam didn’t get, it seems like Zach got. Zamsel is the type of indie soft boy that I easily catch crushes for, with my “anxious but slutty bisexual” energy and unruly curly hair.

When it comes to Zamsel, I would just like to say: his playlist is composed of a lot of The Front Bottoms. He’s a sad boy who gets into a lot of bad situations with toxic romantic partners that take advantage of him. While I’ve changed the timeline of a couple relationships of his, the fact that he’s willing to get with almost anyone who shows interest in him is equal parts depressing and frustrating. For both everyone in the novel and myself. 

Bad taste aside, Zamsel is a sweet guy with an incredible competitive streak. He and Kam have been competing with each other for years now, and they still push each other towards success.

Nikki Espinosa-Jasso

Nikki is a Mechanical Engineering student who shares an art class with Kam and Zamsel. She’s a year older and wiser, a bit jaded, and overall, a little abrasive on the surface, but she has a heart of gold. I think we’ve all met a person like her. Her main love languages are acts of service and getting food together.

She’s receiving what is pretty much a total overhaul. Where she used to be a quasi-mother figure to Kam and Zach, I’ve decided to make her a little more feral and a lot less maternal. Nikki needs to be a more interesting person outside of the boys.

Vic Suzuki

Kam’s brother who is still in high school since he didn’t skip a grade when Kam did. When I first created him, he was your typical 2014-era emo, which has now become a 2024 Tiktok alt boy, I guess. Blue hair, lots of piercings, black hoodies under leather jackets, bold tattoos, bisexuality. He was my gender goal when I created him, and honestly, I’m pretty damn close to it right now.

In the past, Vic was depressed to the point of attempting suicide, which Kam walked in on and was traumatized by. Vic doesn’t know this. He’s gotten better since then, and has far better coping mechanisms. Honestly, he has some of the best mental health in the book, which is a huge change from how he was in WADAA. 

He has goals now (that don’t include being dead). Vic is trying to line up a tattoo apprenticeship when he graduates high school. 

Gerard Shimmish

Kicked out of his parent’s house for being gay, Gerard has been living with the Suzuki family for about a year and a half. He’s Vic’s boyfriend and best friend, and a general ray of sunshine. We don’t see as much of Gerard as we did in WADAA, which is a shame. Gerard is a character I pour a lot of my optimism into.

His big thing is helping people. He wants to be a social worker or a psychiatrist. Something where he works with LGBT youth like himself. 

He’s getting some minor character edits to make him a little more interesting, but overall, I think Gerard’s a sweetheart. I might borrow some traits from my husband to give him some more depth.

Tag List

@aritany, @reininginthefirewriting

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[1dfangirls35]

I’ve been finding myself wanting to write down just what I’ve been thinking over the past 48 hours and who better to share them with then the former community I have through this blog.

I remember the day I learned about One Direction distinctly. While I think I had heard WMYB on the radio, it was another girl in my yearbook class watching the music video on YouTube my sophomore year of high school that subsequently lead me to stay up watching Funny Moments videos on my KindleFire late into the night. There was no going back after that.

It is hard to articulate precisely what One Direction means to me. I often joke that it’s a part of my personality at this point- much to my mother’s dismay of me never growing out of the “phase”. I lived and breathed One Direction throughout my last two and a half years of high school. Watching videos, writing fanfiction, sending fangirl Fridays to my friends, and even starting this blog. Through this band I made not only a best friend, but a community of worldwide fans. In the good old days, nothing could make me happier than staying up to listen to a new album (leaked more than likely), the boys tweeting out or going to a concert. That kind of pure happiness is something that I don’t think I have experienced to the same level in my adult life.

While I was always a Louis girl, this blog was started with a Lilo focus- with my friend at that time being a Liam fan. I have always viewed Liam as a strong foundation to the band- especially in the early days. “Daddy Directioner” always guiding them. His songwriting has also been part of many of my favorite tracks.

When Zayn left my freshman year of college, I truly thought that would be the worst day in the One Direction fandom, perhaps second only to the day they announced their 18 month hiatus. But soon I learned there was a whole new aspect to being a fan as each of the boys launched their solo careers. While some members of the fandom broke off and supported individual members, I stayed true to OT5 and was so looking forward to going to each one of their solo concerts.

The dream of course, was that one day they would reunite. 20 year old me thought that would be in less than 2 years, but as each anniversary passed, I started to have a new dream about the reunion. I had my savings account accumulating and knew that when the announcement came, that experience would be priceless. I didn’t care if I was in a nursing home or raising a baby I would be there. I looked forward to the feeling I would get when they announced a reunion or dropped an unreleased album- even if it didn’t happen until I was old and decrepit.

On Wednesday I learned there was a new worst day to be in the fandom- and that was the day I learned of Liam’s tragic passing. There would never be an OT5 reunion in the way that many of us dreamed of and more importantly we had lost a piece of the band.

I think the thing people in the fandom don’t understand is even though I’ve never met Liam- I still feel like he’s been incredibly influential to my life. It’s weird to grieve someone you’ve never met but yet means so much to you. One Direction and even the boys solo work has been a comfort to me at many stressful times. If I’m having a bad day it’s always my One Direction Forever playlist I turn to. I still can’t believe he’s gone. That I will never get to see him perform Strip That Down Live or throw water at Louis on stage again. There will never be a One Direction reunion- not in the way we have dreamed of.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized just how much these boys must have went through at the peak of One Direction. I look at myself between the 16-22 and see how little I knew at that age and how different of a person I was. I can’t even imagine what they went through with that level of fame at such a young age. We will never know what really happened to Liam. There were be speculations and autopsies and eye witness reports but the only person who knew what was going on in those hours leading up to his death is no longer with us. I only wish that he can now see the outpouring of love and support to a boy who shaped millions of lives around the world.

This tragedy is powerful reminder of the power of social media in both his negatives and positives. It’s a reminder that social media can be a harmful and toxic environment. But I’ve also realized over the past 48 hrs that social media can be a powerful tool for connection and community. My TikTok feed is full of memories of Liam and 1D. I’m in a groupchat for girls in my city setting up a tribute. Our fandom still continues to amaze me.

My heart aches for Liam’s friends and family. For Bear. For Niall, Harry, Louis and Zayn. I can’t even imagine what they are going through right now. I hope that even if this tragedy never leads us to a formal reunion between the remaining four, that this reconnects them together. I hope Liam is in a better place now and that all his pain and suffering are gone.

Take care of each other, take care of your friends and let us remember Liam as a boy that changed our lives forever. Let us remaninsce on all the joy he brought to our lives. One Direction isn’t One Direction without him 🥲.

Rest In Peace Payno

[disproportionatelysculpting]

I was so caught up in my head thinking of everything I never got to do, an hour passed by, legs were as numb as my mind and something in me had this urge.. to get dressed up afterall, thats the only thing that makes me feel seen anymore.. so I did, I put on my favourite dress, a muted pink dress with polka dots all over it like stars, and the cardigan that my mother gifted on my birthday few ages ago.. its not even that cold yet, but I'm wearing it, it makes me less homesick, even if I am standing in my own house. The cardigan is yellow, contrasting to the dress's muted tone, bright like the sun. People say it suits me, makes me look happy.

I went out for a walk, passing by the local shops and unfamiliar faces on streets. How similar yet different it is each day, new people same old vendors, new items same old counters.. I have passed by my whole life, the buildings along the path grew up with me,

The sun was still up enough to make one dehydrated, so I went to a sweet shop, ate some aloo chop and a nice cup of adrak wali chai.

After that roamed around my city, funny how I finally feel this city as my own, after all those year looking for a place to belong, feeling lost in the same places I visited and took some pictures of.. cafes, streets, parks... all the places that have memories.. such a bitter sweet feeling remembering the good and bad times, afterall indeed the memories painted the city as my own, even if I am a small, really small part of it.

I finally made my way to the highest point of my city, as tired as I was, I was worth all the steps, that I took before I reached here.

It was the magical time of sunset, Just the right time to see the sky dissolve from day into night. There is something really poetic in the sunsets, countless poems have been written about it, many more songs, and pictures have been taken, the peace in seeing the vastness of this world, the coincidental perfect settings to make this beauty exist. No wonder it is loved by so many people, the sunset, but I find myself drawn into the moments after sunset more..

The way world that seems lost underneath the sunlight, lights up one at a time as the darkness hovers, each and every existence is accounted, the galaxy on the ground.

One last story I post, of the scenery. And as habit, I click on and go through all the photos I took today, how pretty the mundane looks even now, life seems pretty okay if it fits in the 6 inches with a very specific perspective on.

I sit there taking in all of this, with earphones in and songs that have all the memories associated, I made that playlist a few days ago, to remember everything, one last time. I keep wondering about the purpose, the struggles and everyone we go throught in this life, all seem so small from here.

A lot of time has passed, the sun is set and the lights are gone, as usual, it won't be back for next hour, all the lives are lost again, this time into darkness.

I love this one hour, to honor this love, I take a selfie, smiling, and it was genuine, the sense of finally.. I switch off my phone and just look at the sky

...the sky is clear no clouds, just endless galaxy twinkling upon my head. It is a cold calm night, silence feels so good with the wind breezing slowly distant cricket chirps and the hustling crowds noises far in the city...

continued..

[thinkingjasico]

Ok so I don't have other mutuals into PJO but I must confess I've been thinking about a scenario. Gender bend Jasico with Nico as the scary goth girl and Jason/Julia being the local prom queen and they maybe are roommates and fall in love. Have I watched the wicked trailer 200 times? Mayhaps. But I just think it kinda fits them, and I love to make my faves lesbians so. Yeah.

I love this! It also makes me think of an coffee shop AU!

Nico is a barista at this very charming café on campus. She's always very quiet; studying or reading on the other side of the counter when the café is not very busy. Julia always has a million things to do during the day, so she lives off coffee and has been a regular custumer there since her first year in college, until now, in Julia's second year, Nico starts working there and Julia not only becomes terrifyingly fascinated by her, but also obsessed with the playlists Nico puts on during her shift. Julia seems very confident to others, but in reality she's not at all confident about these things; which means that for the entire first semester that year all she said to Nico was: “good afternoon”, “an espresso, please” and “thank you” . She ventured to comment on the rain once, but Nico didn't hear with the noise of the coffee machine, so Julia didn't venture to say anything more.

But when the winter break arrives, Julia's roommate tells her that from January she won't be able to live with her anymore because she's moving in with her girlfriend (Piper and Annabeth? Who knows…).

The problem is: Julia has to share the rent. The person who helps her with the bills, since she has a full scholarship to college, is her older sister Thalia--- who never went to college but has her own business, and neither of the girls has any relationship with their parents. Also, Julia hates the college dorms because she had a horrible experience living there in her first month of college. Her roommate was always taking boys there and ignored her requests to stop doing that, so Thalia said she could pay half of a cheap rent for her, so she could concentrate on her studies (I don't even need to say that for Thalia, Julia is the most perfect creature ever to walk the earth and she would kill and die for her sister to have a good life and not have to go through the things she went through).

Anyway, she's desperate and put up notices all over the college buildings, because if she doesn't find someone to share her apartment, she'll have to move out at the beginning of January. But the campus is practically empty, it's unbearably cold and she should have gone to California to spend the end of the year with her sister already. She goes to the café, upset and anxious, and for the first time she doesn't think about Nico as soon as she walks through the door. Instead of going straight to the counter, she sits down at a table in the corner of the empty café, takes off her wet coat and beanie and leaves her flyers on the table. She's reaching for her cell phone to text Thalia and tell her she won't be able to travel until she's sorted this out; when a cup is placed on the table. She looks up and sees that it's an espresso. She looks up more and sees that Nico is standing there, with her long, black, wavy, voluminous hair tucked behind her pierced ears, and her painted black lips with a piercing in the middle say: “I saw this flyer in the English building today.”

It was just those words.

The flyer had many ways of contacting Julia, with all her social media accounts there so you could see the image of perfection that everyone had of her. Maybe all the problems that would ruin her end of the year and her next semester would be solved now, but all Julia could think was: She knows my order?!

Julia nods, “Yes, I'm looking for someone to share my apartment with. It's right near the campus entrance. The building is pretty old, and I live on the sixth floor, with no elevator, but the apartment is nice, I promise. I'm not noisy or messy and I don't have any pets.” She could have shut up after explaining the location of the building, which was already in the flyer, instead of saying it all in one breath like that, but anyway… “Do you know anyone who would be interested?” Please be you, please be you…

Nico glances to the counter, “I lived in the dorms at first, but my roomate was the most shitty person I've ever met. So I moved into the second floor of the café; not exactly with Luke's permission at first, but when he found me there he let me stay until New Year's.” She turns back to Julia and says nothing more, so Julia assumes that the person interested in the place is Nico herself.

There was a possibility that Julia would fall in love and spend the rest of her college years suffering in silence for that girl, but even if she only got to be friends with Nico, that would be enough for her.

Julia smiles and holds out her hand to Nico to close the deal. "It seems we were fated for each other then." And that was precisely why usually Julia only said the same things to Nico. "I-I mean, destined to be roommates, you know? And solve our housing problems."

But, thank God, the girl didn't seem to pay much attention to what Julia said, because she seemed to be thinking about something, and didn't take Julia's hand. “Hm, I kind of adopted a stray cat that kept eating the café's garbage.”

Julia smiles more broadly; her hand still held out. “Great! Take the cat with you.” And then Nico gives what Julia would later learn is the beginning of a smile, and takes her hand. Julia is actually allergic to cats, but at the moment she couldn't even see it as a problem.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Charlie Brown

Word count: 1,207

Read on AO3

Part 7 of Looking for the Captain

Steve had actively avoided Bucky when he got back. He didn’t want to get into it with him at the moment. So, he asked JARVIS where his best friend was as soon as he got back. Knowing he was with Tony in Tony’s lab made it really easy to just not go there. Wondering how things were going with you, he made his way to the kitchen. 

As he neared, he was amused at your choice of music. Once at the door, he realized you were also singing along. The music sounded really…old. Not him old, however.

Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown

He's a clown, that Charlie Brown

He's gonna get caught, just you wait and see

(Why's everybody always pickin' on me?)

You were dancing around and singing, making him not want to bother you. He simply leaned on the doorframe to watch. It was obvious you were really enjoying yourself. 

You’d been surprised when JARVIS started playing music from well before you were born, but didn’t argue. It had a good beat, and it didn’t take you long to start dancing around and singing along. A lot of the songs had been added to your new playlist, and you planned to look them up later. You were really curious when these came out! 

Feeling eyes on you towards the end of Charlie Brown, you turned and let out a small scream before you realized it was Steve. “What the hell?!” You managed. “JARVIS, you can st-”

“You don’t have to stop on my account.” Steve grinned. “And what are you listening to? It’s not my kind of old, but I know it’s old.” 

You blushed slightly. “I’m not sure. I just told JARVIS to play something fun and upbeat, something I probably haven’t heard before.” 

“That was Charlie Brown, by the Coasters, Miss.” JARVIS informed you just as it ended. 

“Add it to my playlist? Thank you.” You went back to finishing up lunch. “Did you need something? Lunch is almost done.” You told Steve. 

“Just wanted to see how lunch was going, and to ask how things went with Buck.” You both had strong personalities, and it was clear you butted heads. He moved to lean on the counter, watching you move around. 

“Not well.” You chuckled. “I think he forgets I’m an adult.” Which was really annoying. 

“How so?”

You quickly explained what happened. “So. Yeah. He didn’t like the idea of us dating, didn’t like what I wore to the club, didn’t like me wanting to leave with that guy…but he’s really hung up on us.” 

Steve nodded a bit. “He’s not wrong. I am a lot older than you.” He pointed out. 

“You were also on ice for 70 years, so you’re really not that much older than me.” You shrugged a shoulder. “And you’d think he wouldn’t mind as much because he knows you. He knows you’re a good guy. Wouldn’t he want me with someone that he can trust?” That made the most sense to you. “Instead of just some guy who could turn out to be abusive, or just a bad person?” 

“You’ve thought about that, haven’t you?” 

“Not until he pointed out the age thing, honestly. Before that it never even came to mind. You’re just Steve to me.” When you looked at him you didn’t see him as Captain America, your father’s best friend, or someone born in 1918. “The guy who helps me study, keeps me company, and makes me laugh.” 

He didn’t know how to respond. He was torn. You were Bucky’s daughter, but neither of you had seen Bucky in years. Bucky hadn’t raised you, and Steve didn’t know you as a child. Surely that changed things. He watched you easily work on the last touches of lunch. “Can we talk later?” He asked, wanting time to think things through. “Maybe after dinner?” 

“Yeah, we can do that. Meet in my room with some ice cream? We can put on a movie, too.” That way if Bucky came to “check” on you, he’d see the two of you watching a movie. 

He smiled. “Perfect. Want me to help you bring this to the table?” He asked, motioning to what you made. 

“Please.” You nodded. “JARVIS, can you let everyone know lunch is done?” 

“Yes, Miss.” 

All through lunch and dinner, Bucky watched you and Steve together. He planned to corner his best friend after they finished eating, as he’d been avoiding him all day. If you and Steve weren’t together, why was Steve avoiding him? That was suspicious. 

The way you looked at Steve made it clear to Bucky you had feelings for him, but he couldn’t tell if Steve felt the same way. 

Finally, everyone was getting up, and it was Steve’s turn to clean up. “I’ll bring up the ice cream in a bit, doll. Pick a movie.” He told you. 

“Scary? Funny? What kind?” You asked, finishing up your drink. 

“Okay, how about anything but SAW. I am not watching anymore of those.” He chuckled. You’d conned him into watching it a couple weeks before.

You playfully pouted. “So mean. There’s a lot of them.” 

“I can’t see how you like watching them.” He made a face. “Pick a less disgusting horror and I’ll be fine.” 

“Fiiiine.” You got up. “And can I get whipped cream and sprinkles on my ice cream? Tony got me princess sprinkles.” 

He laughed and nodded. “Deal.” He agreed before you walked out, giving Bucky a half wave. 

Bucky had watched and listened to the interaction. The two of you were clearly close. But how close? “Do you have a thing for my daughter?” He asked. 

Steve sighed. “Do you have to word it like that? She’s her own person.” He pointed out, moving to carry the plates into the kitchen, knowing Bucky was following. “And an adult.” 

“She’s still my little girl.” He ground out. “And off limits.” 

Putting the dishes in the sink, he turned to him, arms crossed over his chest. “Look, Buck. You’re my best friend, damn near like my brother.” He started. “But this is between me and her.” He hated pissing off Bucky, but this wasn’t his choice. “And she made some really good points earlier.” 

“Like what? What the hell could a little girl possibly say to make you think it’s okay to be with her?”

Steve glared at him. “She is an adult. She is legally able to buy alcohol. She’ll be 22 soon!” He reminded him. “And I’m technically not that much older than her. I was on ice for 70 years , Buck. There’s only a ten year difference when you factor that in.” He let that sink in for a moment. “She also pointed out that you know me . You know I’m not a bad guy. I’m not abusive, I’m not a dick. You can trust me. Can you say that about any guy walking around the city out there?” He moved around him to get the cups from dinner. 

Bucky swallowed as Steve spoke. He hated that you were right. He hated that you made some good points. Ones that he just couldn’t counter. Him just being uncomfortable with it just wasn’t a valid reason. 

[tmae3114]

im no thoughts head empty so 9 and 13 for whatever fic gives the best vibes

Ask Game

I am finally able to sit down and do this! I have had A Long Day. Not bad, just Long, dashing from one task to the other, and it's nice to have a Talk About Hobby thing to sit down and do while I wait for dinner to finish in the oven. Thank you, Syntax!

(Note: dinner actually beeped while I was typing, so I went and ate, and then came back and finished this, but I'm not rewriting the first paragraph :p)

I went scrolling through my ao3 account to determine which fic Vibed best with both these questions and by 'vibed best' I mean 'had an Actual Answer'

Also I felt like talking about one of my older fics today!

So, you get (More Powerful Than) Butterfly Wings!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Oh, absolutely. The basic premise always stayed the same but that premise was literally just "the first trailer for the Justice League movie just dropped and their characterisation of Barry Allen YET AGAIN feels more like another speedster than it does Barry, as adaptations often do, ugh. ....what if I wrote a fic where it was actually said other speedster?" so it was always very flexible XD I mostly played around with different variations of getting Bart to the DCEU and then why he stayed. I'm pretty satisfied with the version I settled on! Especially because I got to bring Iris in and I had a lot of fun writing her

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I HAD A PLAYLIST FOR THIS ONE. Not a thing I do very often! I won't share it because it's very 2016!me music taste and, having checked it, I highly question some of my song associations decisions at the time - plus, I made it as a youtube playlist and some of the videos have since been deleted, so it's not wholly accurate to how it was anyways.

There are, however, two songs remaining on it which I will happily share because I agree with seventeen year old me on the matter and I think they still reflect the fic well.

One is Born To Run which is, tbh, my go-to speedster song in general. It's just! It's vibes! It's speedster vibes!

And the other, which is very fic specific, is The Sound of Settling, because the fic is, in a sense, about settling down, and the various bits about hunger and aging fast gave me Bart Vibes and also I could not resist a song containing the line "If you've got an impulse, let it out" when writing about Impulse

[lincolndjarin]

BKS ✦ notes & bts : chapters 1-5

spoilers for chapter 1-5 of Best Kept Secret!!

✦

a/n :

I feel like this is just SO self indulgent of me but whatever I guess lmao, bks is my brain baby currently and I will take any excuse to talk about it. These posts are going to be long in-depth dives into my writing process, dress inspo, music i was inspired by, etc. of the mentioned chapters so settle in cause this is what i'm doing today lol. also this might be the longest one bc i'm gonna talk about starting and coming up with everything.

starting writing and original outlines :

i've said this so many times lmao but i wrote the ending first. like the ending ending. i work really long hours at a job that has me listening to music for like ten hours a day while i work so i get a lot of thinking time lmao. basically i originally wrote it as a story with no specific characters in mind. I'm a big Pedro fan so i was between characters i thought fit the fic but settled on din because i think he fit the character i was imagining best. (it helps that he's in my top three pedro characters lol) from there laid out a vague outline in my mind of where i wanted to start so i created a set list of characters and basically just dove right in without much to guide me except for an ending point lmao. it wasnt until closer to like chapter 15-16 when i started properly outline each chapter in advance in the document, before that i just wrote vague notes in a notebook that i didn't end up following all that well lmao

music :

i've also said this at one point but the original name of best kept secret was "my keeper and i" i wrote the first three chapters in the same week and spread out the posting but i used the same playlist for most of the early stuff so here's that!!

original bks playlist

inspirations :

if you've seem/read bridgerton then you might know that i took a lot of inspiration from the pattern the show uses and still do.

basically the show has a pattern of the couple getting together and breaking it off or having an issue that's resolved and then there's a new issue. i've sort of been following that sorta kinda

also reader is heavily based on charlotte because i had just finished queen charlotte when i started writing bks

din is more based on anthony bridgerton than george, (anyone unfamiliar with bridgerton, george is the love interest in queen charlotte)

also a lot of din's style of self loathing is based on edwards from twilight LMAO

notes :

here's a random page of misc. notes that i lowkey can't decipher lol

here are my chapter four notes! shoutout to when i didn't realize it was sarad'ika and it was originally ika sarad lmaooo

there's some unused dialogue here, specifically there was going to be a longer conversation about how he wanted to get her out of the castle more often as well as a scene where she was going to eat fruit ands it was gonna drip down her front and he was gonna wipe it off. it was gonna be a whole thing lmao but it didn't really fit the rest of the chapters vibe.

so.... originally there was a timeline issue where the first lunar interlude (i'm a huge taz balance fan and that's where i got the name lunar interlude from lmaoooo, i have 2 taz tattoos) was going to be chapter 4 and then it was going to be chapter 6 and then it made the most sense to make it 5, so any timeline notes here are wrong.

in my original concept for the fic, every chapter was going to end with a small portion of din pov, but it didn't flow well and i really didn't like it so it ended up being easier having it be specific chapters.

when writing the first lunar interlude i went through and read the previous chapters and wrote down how i thought he was feeling during each scene which is what these notes are ^

dresses :

here's a collection of the dresses i used as inspo for chapters 1-5 (these were posted on my old account but i'm gonna put them here as well!!)

chapter one :

the wedding dress was based on this dress!!

and this is the sort of jewelry i was picturing but this stuff is still pretty, i couldn't find anything as ugly as what i was picturing for her wedding jewelry.

this is the sort of stuff i pictured for her blue dresses she hates but honestly all of these are pretty as well LMAO. in all honesty i think that the blue dresses she doesn't like wearing are probably pretty i think she mostly just hates what they stand for and also they put her in gaudy makeup and jewelry as well which doesn't help

chapter two :

used all sorts of dresses as inspo for this chapter! here are these!

chapter three :

sort of a combination of these for the chapter three dress, if that makes sense lmao

chapter four :

something along these lines for the garden dress!!

that's all for these chapters!! I'll probably do 6-15 for the next one since there won't be as many notes for those and then go back to five each for the rest!! i have to do some practice makeup for the concert i'm going to this week so the next one of these will be up either tonight or tomorrow!!

[andydrysdalerogers]

Undercover ~ Two ~ Sam

Pairings: Jake Jensen and OFC Samantha Matthews

The Losers have made it back to their families and are out. Well, almost. A threat against the British crown needs to be handled and the CIA has tapped the Losers for one final mission. And they are sending in Jensen.

Jake Jensen hasn't been a civilian in years but now he's undercover to find out why his target is where he is and who he's after.

Enter Sam, someone who Jake doesn't expect and well, he didn't know he was looking for.

Can Jake handle his mission and falling in love? Especially when the truth leads to a bigger mission than expected?

*~* A Jake Jensen Story *~*

Author's note: this story continues after the events of the Losers. I may weave other characters into it but they are all minor. THE TAGLIST IS OPEN.

The playlist is available on Spotify.

cover photo by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: angst, death, smut, and a bunch of stuff a can’t say because it gives away the plot!

Previous - One - Jake

Story Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Predictable.  

That’s how Sam Matthews would describe her life.  Eat sleep work repeat. Her job as secretary to the head of IT at ADR gave her an income but not joy. The only woman on a floor full of mouth breathing men was cringey. The ogle, the attempts to flirt (badly), the propositions got old and fast. 

When did my life become this, she thought to herself.  She had been on track to get married, become an executive within ADR.  But when Terry left (with his secretary) Sam’s life stalled.  She shuffled around until she landed with Mike, Terry’s best friend.  Mike was just as angry as Sam was, being that said secretary was his girlfriend.  

The beauty of men. A year after and Mike was able to move on.  Not “hey let’s have a beer with the ex-best friend” move on but still.  Sam barely functioned, only really doing the minimum to go to work, not really having anyone else in her life except her mother, her father and brother (who was quite distant), her best friend Stephanie and her cat, Bowie.  

While Sam was getting ready for the day, Mike messaged her about a new member of the security IT team. Jake Jensen. She replied, confirming that she would get it done. She headed out of her cottage and drove into work. Her cottage.  The one thing that her father had set her up with and she managed to hang on to during the break up.  

Heading into ADR, Sam checks herself in the mirror of the elevator.  Ponytail neat, makeup soft, clothes straight, she doesn’t look like a mess and that at least will keep Michael off her ass.  She greets everyone as she enters and tries to avoid the accounting floor where her most unwanted admirer had an office.  

John Fitzpatrick was not an unattractive man; Sam could acknowledge that a bit, but she just wasn’t interested.  John was cocky.  He knew he was good looking, and he had already ran through almost all of the woman at ADR with the exception of Sam.  

After setting up the new security IT manager with his email and logins, Sam sets off on her normal routine, delivering reports from Michael, gathering up the reports needed.  From the corner of her eye, she saw the new guy look at her and quickly duck his head.  She giggled but ignored him as he seemed shy.  But that distraction would cost her. She moved back to her area and went into the break room, not realizing who else was in the room with her.  

“Miss Matthews!” 

“Shit,” she mumbled to herself. She looked up to see John smiling down at her.  He had crowded her near the coffee maker, kitty corner from the door.  

“I was wondering when you would finally let me take you to dinner.” 

“That’s a nice offer, but as I explained before I’m really not interested.” She tried to move away but John stopped her with a hand on her hip. “Please don’t touch me.”  

“Why? Does it get you all hot and bothered?” 

“No, because its sexual harassment.” Sam pushed him away and walked out the door quickly. She barely missed another body in her retreat. “Excuse me, sorry.”  She moved to a corner that made it look like she was heading to the elevator. She crouched in the corner but could still hear from the break room.  

“Pardon me…” she heard John try to follow and stopped by the guy she almost ran into.  “You’re new.”  

“Yeah, hi. I’m Jake, IT.”  

“John, accounting.  Sorry, did you see a brunette pass by?” 

“Uh, yeah, she went into the elevator.” Sam breathed a sigh of relief.  

“Sly minx, she is.  You must know how that is.” Ew, really, she thought.  ��Well, I’ll see you around Jake.”  

“Likewise.”  

Sam watched as John walked right by her and waited a moment before going back to the breakroom to retrieve her mug.  She found the new manager in the room, sipping his coffee. 

“Is he gone?” She must have startled him as he choked on his coffee.  

Sam finally had a good look at the man. Blonde spiky hair, memorizing blue eyes behind a set of wire rimmed glasses, pink lips with scruff on his chin.  He was gorgeous.  She could tell he was also slim but well built. He took a moment to respond to her. “Uh, yeah.  I told him that you went up the elevator.”  

Sam sighed in relief. “Thank you.  God, he just won’t take no for an answer.”  

He was still a little slow in responding but he seemed to snap out of it. “Sorry for my species.” He wrinkled his nose, assuming he made a stupid comment. He turned to walk away but Sam found his comment amusing.  

She giggled.  “Thank you for apologizing.  I’m Sam, by the way. Sam Matthews. Sorry Samantha.”  She extended her hand to him.  

“I like Sam.” He flinched again. “I’m Jake Jensen.” He took her hand. It was a warm hand, strong but yet gentle in hers.  

“Oh, you’re the new manger! Welcome to ADR!” She beamed him a smile and he flashed on back, showing off his pearly whites. Sam nearly swooned.  This was the first time since Terry that she found someone she was attracted to.  

“Are you going to have trouble getting back to your office?” he asked. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder.  “I could walk you back.”  

“I would like that,” she replied with a soft smile. “Let me just,” she reached for her mug and poured herself a cup.  

“Princess, huh?” 

She wrinkled her forehead. “Excuse me?” 

He pointed to her hands. “Your mug. Princess.”  

“Oh,” she lifted the mug to look at it.  “Yeah, my father gave it to me.” She blushed and quickly took a sip.  

“Makes sense.  Dad’s princess.  I get it.” Jake quirked a half smile.  “Sooo, I email you every day.” 

Sam giggled, “yep, all your reports. And other things.”  

“How long have you been with ADR?” 

“About four years.  I came in with… a friend and they left, and I stayed.” Sam shrugged. “What made you come to ADR?” 

“A job,” he quirked a smile.  “I’m ex-military and they offered me a position. It’s close to my family so it was a no-brainer.”  

“That must be nice. My mom is in New York so I can only see her every once in a while.”  

“And your dad?” Jake looked like he was sincerely interested and that gave Sam a flutter.  

“Uh, he’s in England with my brother.  We don’t talk a lot. He was quite busy, but he just retired.”  

“Cool.  Maybe he’ll get a chance to visit you.” Jake stopped, missing the look of apprehension on Sam’s face and Sam noticed that she was outside of Mike’s office where she sat. “Well, I better get back.  The boss won’t want me to slack off. Or his assistant.”  A half smile graces his face.  

“No, she wouldn’t.  But she wouldn’t mind if you came by to say hello more often.”  

“I think that can be arranged.”  Jake took a step back and hit a cubicle wall.  “Umm… so… yeah ok.”  He turned and walked back to his area as Sam watched.  He turned back once and raised a hand to wave but hesitated and just rubbed the back of his head as he walked into his area.  

Sam watched with a smile until she heard someone clearing his throat. She turned to see Mike smiling at her.  “I haven’t seen that smile in a while.”  

“Mike, sorry,” she ducked back to her desk.  

“Don’t be sorry Samantha. You haven’t smiled in a long time.” Mike leaned against the doorway. “He’s… interesting.”  

Sam smiled. Interesting doesn’t even begin to cover it.  She went to her computer and set up an appointment.  

Coffee ~ 10AM ~ Daily  Invitees:  J. Jensen and S. Matthews 

She sent it off as Mike went back to work.  She watched as Jake’s head popped up and looked over towards her.  He smiled and sat down.  Her computer pinged. She looked down to see the invitation was accepted.  

Then her instant message popped.  

JJ: I would have asked you to coffee  SM: Really?  JJ: No…  SM: Why?  JJ: Too Beautiful  JJ: Shit  JJ: I mean… 

Sam smiled. His adorable, dorky nature is refreshing compared to all the other men in the office.   SM: I think you’re cute.   SM: Just want to get to know my new team mate  JJ: Me too 

Sam bit her lip, feeling her cheeks flush.  Only Jake Jensen could really bring this out in her.  Because he wasn’t like everyone else. She went on with her day, staying close to Mike’s office as John wouldn’t come around.  As she packed up to leave, a shadow fell over her and she looked up to see Jake in the doorway. “Hi?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you made it to your car uninterrupted.  Consider me your bodyguard,” Jake said with an overexaggerated bow.  

“Thank you, kind sir,” Sam replied. She turned off her lamp and grabbed her bag.  They walked side by side to the garage.  

“So, you feel safe now?” 

“Very.” Sam smiled up at him.  He was so much taller than she was, even in her heels.  

“Good.  My pop taught me to always be a gentleman.  Even if my mouth gets me into trouble.”  

“No filter?” 

“Sometimes. My CO, sorry, commanding officer, would tell me I could talk my way out of a lot of things but it’s usually because I put myself there.” Jake chuckled. They stopped at Sam’s car.  “I guess you made it safe and sound.”  

“Well, couldn’t have done it without my personal bodyguard.”  Sam smiled. “See you tomorrow Jake.”  

“Have a good night Sam.”  He waited until she drove out before heading to his own vehicle.  

* 

* 

* 

In the dark corner of the lot, John Fitzgerald gripped his steering wheel.  This was not an obstacle that he had anticipated.  No matter.  When John Fitzgerald is on a mission, he stops at nothing to get what he wants.   

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

[ms-paints-sometimes]

please read, i'm looking for some of my old online friends

we met on wattpad, back in like 2021 when i went by the username Spirithyst. we talked in "the gc" by replying to a comment made by user georgecantwalk on a dreamnotfound fanfic titled "I Fell in Love with a Boy in a Maid Dress" by visiblelittlesushi

the author was alright with us talking in their comments, and by the time i left the comment was at more than 7k replies.

the gc had it's own lore which we roleplayed often, with the gc being hell and us making a nation. i will go more in depth later for anyone interested.

i had to leave wattpad since my parents found out about me talking to strangers online (something they're against), and my account has been deleted. i had remained in contact with breadb00 through tiktok, but my parents found out about that aswell. one of my real life friends still talks with them tho, and they were able to get me bread's tumblr ( @codi-bread , tagging u so you can see the post, if u mind i'll edit it). other than that, i follow pluto, george, bread, care and cazz on spotify, but there isn't really a way to contact them through that.

i will write the wattpad usernames of people i remeber under the cut, aswell as their gc lore, so if you see yourself mentioned, remember being in the gc, or know someone on this list, PLEASE contact me via asks, comments or dms

georgecantwalk, reffered to as george or gcw was the one who created the gc by commenting "I wish I had a gay friend to be honest I really really want a gay friend :(" on the 25th of january 2021 on the before mentioned fanfic. later they married crispy_porkchops and adopted Breadb00, im_depressed_help and me (with later aditions). we all called george our parental figure, and canonically they were satan, the ruler of hell.

crispy_porkchops was known as "the pog parent". they weren't active much in the gc. their onl lore was that they married george and adopted the three of us.

Breadb00 is my absolute best friend from the gc and my favorite sibling :3 we would often jokingly argue about being parental figure's favorite child. when L'Wattpad was created, they called me a wilbur kinnie, to which i replied that "wilbur is a spirit kinnie". after that they created Wattburg and started a war

i'm_depressed_help was one of the first 3 adopted childeren. they weren't active much. they had an irl twin who's username was yal_la, who decided to be the family dog.

apthay_ joined the gc a bit later than me. most of the gc consisted of americans and people from different timezones from me (i'm serbian), which made talking to the gc hard since most conversations happened while i was asleep. apthay_ mentioned being british, and with us all being dream smp fans i said something along the lines of "we're the only europeans here, what do we do now? start a nation?" and thus, L'Wattpad was born. as i mentioned, bread started a war, after which i blew up our country, dying in the proces. for all of the lore after this, c!spirit was a ghost (and maybe 3 raccoons in a trench coat but nobody's sure)

Loser000Hollow or devon was george's wife and our mother. when they got married i attempted arsoning the wedding (causing me to further refer to myself as "a professional wedding arsonist"), but they got married regardless.

-FROG_SUPREMACY- was our uncle that dropped in sometimes to say hi and be cool. nothing much to say about them, they're just poggers

enzo1487 was platonically married to me and we adopted three childeren together. they weren't online much

pluto was one of my childeren. they changed usernames often but always followed a nouns4character formula. they had a raccon named tommy who owned a gun and made good playlists. they're really nice and fun to talk to :) they're one of the members of utah duo

SnowflakeMoon1297 was one of my childeren. they're from germany and also really polite. they're about the same age as bread iirc. i can't recall much of their lore atm :(

heroes-and-villains or ace was one of my childeren, later dubbed "Ace The Slay God". they weren't too active either

Care_Warmth or Dahlias4Amor was platonically married to pluto and knew a lot about flowers. i would consider them a good friend. they had a child, who's username was GlitchDevil_404 iirc

_shad0wlight_ and me were the arson duo, and we commited arson randomly every sunday (when we remembered to). that was fun :)

Q_Loves_You or TEARSorTEA was one of george's kids, but was adopted later. they befriended me since i had a book titled "Daily Letter Q", where i would post the letter Q every day. after i was forced to leave wattpad they attempted to continue my legacy by making a daily Q book of their own. together with pluto, they're the utah duo

DIEmention, GAE-FOR-YOU / Witched_ , minty_salad, holywaternotfoundd, A-Funny-Punny-Bunny, Itz_Fliss_pog, luvmarley and cazzlin were also in the gc but they didn't have much lore

i left wattpad a while ago so my memory's a bit hazy on people's usernames, and i'm sure i didn't mention everyone, but if anyone still remembers me and wants to be friends i would love to.

i miss everybody so much <3 love y'all

[the-drayster]

// A little story about Drayton picking Amarys up from Nacrene. Under the read more because this one is fairly long at 960 words.

The song mentioned is Homie by Mustard Service.

Tagging you here, @elite-amarys!

~~

Drayton looked up from his phone, peeling his blanket off as he stood. "Hey, I'm going to go pick Amarys up."

Iris peered at him from her spot on the back of the couch. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, her mom's just upset and she needs to get away. I'll be back soon-ish," Drayton said. He pulled up his map and set out for the door. He paused, turning back. "Let Ma and Grandpa know I'm taking the car!"

Going all the way from Opelucid to Nacrene wasn't Drayton's plan when he originally went home for the holiday, especially not on the morning of Delibird Day. But, he had offered to let his friend stay if she needed too, and may Reshiram strike him down if he wouldn't honor that.

Climbing into the driver's seat, Drayton hummed to himself. It would be a long drive.

Amarys stood at the street corner. Her bag was packed beside her. She had everything she needed. She was upset, but logically the distance would allow both her and her mother time to calm down.

Logically.

It wasn't long (She had timed her arrival to the street corner perfactly) before an old truck pulled up, and Drayton climbed out. He was wearing a Deli-Day sweater (A Litwick with an LED light instead of a candle flame), and a long, pleated skirt in off-white. Amarys was not surprised. He smiled at her.

"Finally here. How're you doing?" Drayton asked. He reached down to grab her bag for her, loading it into the truck. Amarys muttered a thank-you.

"I am alright. Father agreed to speak to Mother," she reported. She approached the vehicle and held out a handful of money. "While you were arriving, I calculated the cost of the drive from Opelucid to Nacrene. I did not account for pit-stops and the like made of your own volition."

Drayton stared for a moment before shaking his head and smiling again. "No need, Bud." Amarys watched his face for the subtle hints of a joke. There were none. Only amusement. She put the money away.

The two of them climbed into the truck, and Drayton fiddled with his phone before starting the older vehicle's engine. "You ready to go?" He adjusted his mirrors, and then turned to look at her. He was grinning widely.

Amarys ran over her mental checklist. Everything was accounted for.

"..Yes. I am ready."

Drayton nodded, and the two were off.

Once they were situated, Drayton relaxed, draping an arm across the back of the seat separating the two of them. Amarys was staring at her lap.

"I apologize. You should not have had to come so far to retrieve me," she stated.

Drayton waved his hand, as if to gesture her words away (She had never understood pointless movements such as those, but apparently it made communication easier for some). "It's nothing. I did this of.. What was it.. My own volition?"

"My reasoning is still valid. Delibird Day is a holiday traditionally spent with one's family. I have stopped you from doing so."

Drayton snorted, reaching over to punch her shoulder lightly. "You're my family too."

Amarys paused. He did not mean this literally, of course. They weren't related. Therefore, the implication was that he saw her as an adopted relation.

"…Thank you."

Drayton snorted again, little laughs breaking through. But the laughs weren't mocking her. Amarys turned to watch him.

He shook his head, smiling. "What do you say to some music?"

Amarys considered this. She wouldn't mind music, she decided. She said as much.

Drayton nodded, tapping his phone to wake the Rotom inside. "Play my one playlist. Start with Homie." He turned to Amarys as the music started. "This is one of my favorite songs. I feel like it's fitting to this whole situation."

Drayton hummed the lyrics, drumming the beat of the instruments on the steering wheel with his fingers. He seemed to be enjoying himself. His hum broke into quiet singing with the line "Just sit back and smoke your cigarette."

"I don't smoke," she stated. Perhaps this song wasn't as fitting as he thought.

Drayton laughed a little. "Nah, but the rest of the lyrics work well. You do look like you could use some sleep." He paused his drumming to turn on his blinkers in an attempt to change lanes. "..Let me merge, jerkwads…"

She probably did need to sleep. She'd been so stressed. She hadn't realized how exhausted she was.

"I do appear to be more tired than I previously assumed," Amarys admitted.

Drayton smiled. "I don't mind if you doze off. I'll keep the music low."

Amarys nodded. She had no intentions of sleeping yet, but the thought was appreciated.

It didn't take long before she was out like a light.

Drayton hummed quietly to himself as he pulled into the driveway of his grandfather's house. Amarys was still asleep, and he didn't particularly want to wake her. He had a feeling that this was first chance she'd had to really be comfortable.

It made him happy that she was comfortable sleeping near him. He let himself feel a little prideful over it before debating what to do next.

He could leave the car running, and let her rest, but if he just left then she might wake up and panic over where she was. That wasn't an option.

He could wake her, but he'd feel horrible doing it. She looked so peaceful. That wasn't an option.

The third, and seemingly only valid option, was to stay with her in the car. Drayton sighed, put the truck into park, sent a quick text to Iris to let everyone know that they had made it, and leaned against the door to take a nap.

[achillean-heartbeat]

Grieving is so different now that i have Lord Beelzebub and Lady Hekate in my life.

A few years ago, i lost a close friend to suicide. It was the most painful loss i had experienced.

A month ago, i lost one of my closest friends to cancer. I don't even know how to tackle in words how huge this painful emptiness is.

However, now, i have an outlet to my grief. For releasing all this love for her that has nowhere to go. I have mantras and prayers to pronounce when i need to talk about my friend but am not able to get out the words.

We made a memorial corner for her in our uni. We planted an olive tree in her name, a way for her to stay physically in our lives.

Every morning when i come to uni, i go and sit with the tree and talk to Lord Beelzebub and Lady Hekate and to my friend.

Everytime i go and sit with her tree, without fail, there is a bee waiting there for me. No matter how many time this has happened, it still makes me tear up.

And today, i was asking of Lady Hekate, Hekate Phosphoros, to be my friend's guiding light wherever she is.

Later in the day, 3 things happened:

First, as i was crying and spiralling about her while in the car, for some reason, my brain went "you need to look out the window right now." And i saw how beautiful today's moon is. It snapped me out of my thoughts. I took a picture for myself because i cherished this moment. And only a couple hours ago, while going through my pictures, did i notice the entire picture. I didn't even see the crossroad lights when i took it. (First pic)

Second, after this, i was browsing the recommended songs of a rock playlist i have on spotify, when i got recommended a pretty interesting artist. When i went and saw their songs, i was so stunned to see one of them was called Crossroads of Hekate when none of the rest of their songs mentioned any other deity or entity. (Second pic)

And third, something absolutely crazy happened. I revisited one of my old instagram accounts. On it, i follow very few people, so the home feed is made of only them. So i saw a recent post of the sister of my friend that i lost to suicide. I thought in my head that i am glad she is able to slowly get back to life. I wanted to check up on her. So i clicked her profile, scrolled down mindlessly in her posts. And i saw the caption of one of her posts. I stared shocked and just... happily hoping, that maybe, she too, found solace and strength in Hekate. I hope so. From the bottom of my heart (third pic)

I hold these moments so, so, so incredibly dear to my heart. I can't even describe the surge of emotions that swell in me whenever instances like these happen.

So after all of this, i finished my night routine since i wanted to turn in because i was tired, so while i was packing my stuff for the next day, i burned some incense, prayed and recited some mantras, talked to her and thanked her immensly.